#for the boys Cody Owen and Alejandro are obvious choices

[starryluminary]

Dating sim where Noah’s the playable main character and the goal is to get with one of a wide variety of campers on the island (to his protest)

[rimzieiei]

total drama x town of salem 2

honestly im surprised i havent done this sooner ?? considering that one alejandro, heather, and noah coven fanart is the reason i got interested in total drama

ANYWAYS ! i thought it would be super fun to make a match with every gen 1 total drama contestant :3 (town might be a little overpowered but whatever ! i didnt feel like going over the 4 coven limit)

TOWN

COURTNEY - SEER

i think seer (town investigative in general) is a good fit for courtney because they often lead town and courtney is well yk,, courtney

SIERRA - TRACKER

i was tempted to make sierra spy but i ended up liking tracker more . i think this one is pretty self explanatory

BETH - RETRIBUTIONIST

i didnt have many ideas for beth besides making her either town support or coven . beth should get to raise the dead, as a treat

BLAINLEY - CORONER

giving blainley coroner just so she can fakeclaim tpow is too funny for me to pass up

OWEN - TRAPPER

based on the hunting owen talked about during island + i love trapper

TYLER - BODYGUARD

boy loser gets to have the most failure town protect role

DUNCAN - JAILOR

its too funny of an opportunity to pass up

EVA - VETERAN

honestly she could be any town killing but vet can kill multiple visitors which made me choose it

LINDSAY - MARSHAL

marshal is the army equivalent of an admiral :3 also useless town powers (as infuriating as they are) are hilarious in concept

GEOFF - SOCIALITE

party time !

EZEKIEL - AMNESIAC

zeke doesnt really have much going for him in canon so having him as amnesiac feels fitting

NEUTRALS

NOAH - DOOMSAYER

finally giving noah chance to be clever and sneaky,, sussing out which roles belong to who

IZZY - PIRATE

i cant get the idea of izzy openly claiming pirate then like,, pirating a ti out of my head . girly gets to cause mayhem and i love her for it

SADIE & KATIE - JESTER

i had to give them the same role its the law . a jester duo working together to get each other lynched is so silly

BRIDGETTE - ARSONIST

bridgette is a surfer girl so the obvious choice is to let her set things on fire

ALEJANDRO - SHROUD

alejandro should be an evil considering canon, and shroud is a more complicated neutral killing compared to sk

COVEN

CODY - CONJURER

i honestly just placed cody here because i love his dynamic with heather and i want them to be evil siblings

HEATHER - COVEN LEADER

this is the obvious choice for heather . let her kill

JUSTIN - MEDUSA

medusa is perfect for justin considering people love to look at him

TRENT - WILDLING

i dont have much reasoning for this one ... i just liked the idea

APOCALYPSE

LESHAWNA - BERSERKER

shes not afraid to beat people up in canon and shes not afraid here

GWEN - PLAGUEBEARER

gwens color palette reminds me of diseases,,, thats it

DJ - BAKER

self explanatory

HAROLD - SOUL COLLECTOR

harold having a menacing role like soul collector but being extremely pathetic is wonderful to me + he would get to have matching visits with leshawna

there we go ! thats all of them :3 i probably could swap some of them to make the roles fit better but im satisfied for now

[courtney-deserved-better]

my opinion on td finalists

spoiler alert, im not a fan of most

TDI: Owen & Gwen

uh I personally don’t like either of these guys for finalists. gwen did do a lot but there were so many times where she just acted so apathetic I was like why?? are you still here?? and as for owen... I didnt like him as a character for a Long Time and he's growing on me but he just doesnt seem like finale material

I think a duncan versus leshawna finale would've been super fun to watch. especially if they teamed up to take down heather in the semifinal. those two had such a fun dynamic, especially in the triathlon episode, that I think taking it to the finale would've been fantastic. also leshawna deserved to win that season and you cannot change my mind

TDA: Duncan & Beth

duncan, while not my first choice, I can see making it through to the finale this season. but beth?? no. im sorry but shes just too much of a side character and is canonically fake nice and annoys everyone else so it doesn’t really make sense

an interesting finale would’ve been duncan versus courtney considering how volatile their relationship was this season. however, bc courtney was kinda awful to duncan, I dont think she deserves to win this season. it would be cool if there was one ending where their votes tied and they made up and decided to split the money but that just feels too tame, both for a finale and for their dynamic

harold versus duncan could be interesting, but because duncan tends to bully harold, I dont think his win would be fair in this situation. I think lindsay versus harold would be the best, as this season is about lindsay learning to take charge and come up with strategies, and while he can be off-putting and occasionally condescending, I think harold has a lot of useful skills that could really flourish in the finale

TDWT: Heather & Alejandro

while I dont ship them at all, I truly dont think there could've been a more satisfying final two. we’ve had their rivalry build up from day one, they have a ton of good songs together, it really completes heather’s arc of antagonist to antihero to protagonist. heather winning is the best ending in my mind, but I like  alejandro winning too. the only problem I have with his ending is that it only happened because heather threw in the wrong dummy-- I think it would’ve been more clever for him to have switched them or something like that

ive been thinking about some other final twos that I think would be interesting, though unable to top the canon one imo. gwen versus courtney would be really cool because of the friends turned enemies thing-- I think it would be interesting for courtney to be put in danger and gwen has a choice of saving her or going for the money and she save courtney before apologizing again (maybe dumping duncan) and the two make up and split the money. 

though I don’t really enjoy either as characters mostly due to their writing, cody and sierra would be an interesting final two. maybe cody finally stands up to sierra, or sierra struggles with wanting to be the winner of total drama or helping the boy she likes win. it definitely wouldn't be as good as the canon two but there would be a lot of clashing dynamics at play that'd be fun to explore

TDROTI: Lightning & Cameron

admittedly, I don’t remember too much from this season, but it really felt like these two kind of coasted by. I never found lightning to be a particularly compelling character and thought it weird how he suddenly went from dumb jock to evil jock in the last episode or two. cameron really felt like he was just carried through the season, similarly to beth, though I dont have as much as an issue with him winning. I dont think it was a bad finale, per se, I just think if those were the final two they should've been written better from the start

seeing as how jo really played the game and went all in, I think she would’ve been a great finalist. it would’ve been interesting to see her versus (commando?) zoey though im not the biggest zoey fan. I think a jo versus lightning finale could actually work (or brick) though if there was a jo versus cameron finale, I couldn't see him logically winning bc jo would just destroy him

TDAS: Mike & Zoey

*BIG FUCKING INHALE* no. just no. im probably not gonna say anything that’s not already been said so ill keep it short. bland, mal writing bad, have someone who's been in the game for 3 previous seasons instead of  1 make it to the ALL STARS FINALE. jfc.

you know what would’ve been an interesting finale? gwen versus courtney. they both said they wanted to reach the final two with the other one, so maybe they do! maybe they start to struggle with their friendship because of courtney’s competitive streak! maybe one of their helpers is duncan and that causes strife between them! maybe they become enemies again and don’t make up until the finale! maybe they decide to split the money! idk! it would've had a hell of a  lot more flavor than what we got

TDPI: Shawn & Sky

I don’t really have an issue with either of these characters making it to the finale. they’re compelling, worked hard, and have distinct goals. I would’ve liked to see jasmine in the finale but I'd be cool replacing either one with her: jasmine and shawn having to compete against one another would be an interesting relationship hurdle and sky versus jasmine would've been cool because they’re both very athletic and it would’ve been the first f vs f total drama finale (we've had m vs f and m vs m but no all-girl finales...)

TDRR: Surfer Dudes & Police Cadets

Again, I don’t really have an issue with this finale. I really like how Sanders and MacArthur both work hard in their own ways and have to learn how to work together (MacArthur breaking Sanders’ arm and realizing that she can negatively affect her partner and also that Sanders is super tough was a GREAT arc). I know there’s been some contention about the Surfer Dudes being eliminated and then coming back so late in the game, but it made sense to me. They chose to lose because they felt that they owed it to Devin and Carrie, and that choice paid off when Devin and Carrie called in a replacement team. I doubt the surfers expected that to happen, they were just trying to be fair, but that kindness was rewarded in a big way which I think was sweet, especially  considering how much of a hot mess this show can be. 

I gotta say, this does kinda remind me of the TDI finale, with the villain (heather/ice dancers) getting eliminated third, and their rival (gwen/police cadets) making it to the finale with the fun guy (owen/surfer dudes). The reason I like the Surfer Dudes as finalists more than Owen is that I felt they put in more effort during challenges and had more of an arc (with Josee’s mind games ending up bonding them as a team after strife, choosing to be eliminated for the sake of fairness, etc). 

Speaking of Owen, it’s kind of ironic that if I had to replace a team in the finale, I would replace the surfer dudes with the reality tv pros. they’re my favorite team and I think it wouldve been great for them to really live up to their name. I think it also would've been funny for the ice dancers to be so focused on their rivalry with the cadets that the pros just completely go under their radar until its the final three and the ice dancers are like “oh crap they’re PROS why haven't we been trying to destroy them??”

I also wouldn't mind replacing the surfer dudes with the sisters. I know emma gets a lot of hate (mostly because of nemma which I only like platonically) but I actually like her as a character (when she wasn’t being obsessive) and I think she and kitty were a great team that had a good arc of learning to work together. I also think it would be really interesting because for the final three they would all have rivalries with one another: the police cadets and the ice dancers (obvious) the ice dancers and the sisters (josee messed with them in at least 2 challenges) and the sister and the police cadets (kitty and macarthur’s game/road rage was hilarious)

[totalhellisland]

I am beyond angry, this god damn NoCo fanfiction has ruined my day and it is only 7:20 AM. Cody is such a fucking bastard man, he says he fucking loves Noah with all his heart, but previous knowledge points to the fact he doesn’t. I read most of the installation before this one (”Valentine Countdown”), and Cody didn’t seem nearly as hateable in that one as he does in this. Cody in this is borderline unlikeable, when he was enjoyable and cute in the previous one.

A Summary so this makes sense and the rant, idk, I’ve gone insane:

 Anyways, Cody says he loves Noah but it’s said multiple times that Cody never returned Noah’s calls or emails when they were together between the Celebrity Manhunt special and “Valentine Countdown”. Noah, understandably, upset about this and ends it with Cody (or Cody ends it with him? the fanfiction backtracks sometimes). Then World Tour comes around, Cody is trying to regain Noah’s love/affections and Alejandro is ruining those attempts left and right; because he too loves/has genuine affections for Noah. Alejandro, though he meddes with the NoCo times, shows he’s guilty because of what he’s done (case in point when he inadvertently makes Noah cry because he convinced him Cody was on a date with Sierra during the Paris episode). I’m not saying that Alejandro was right in his slippery eel bullshit, but he certainly is better than Cody is in this toward the end of the book. Alejandro comforts Noah after making him cry and makes the others of his team leave Noah alone after the challenge (mostly to his own benefit, but Noah did not want to talk atm either). Just, it’s obvious that Alejandro actually cares about Noah, he tries to get Noah’s attention and when he finally gets it, yeet here comes Cody waltzing in going, “Oh Noah I love you so *goes to smooch city*”. Cody does make attempts to get back with Noah, but he still doesn’t take into account that he’s the one who should have tried harder the first time around. Noah straight up tells him this, he considers it then, but he still calls his fuckups and the consequences they created a “misunderstanding” (chapter 11 pt 1).

Take some more responsibility for not pulling your fucking weight in the relationship, oval boy. Noah tried to stay with him before WT and Celebrity Manhunt, but Cody refused to respond to his messages or calls. If Cody really cared as much as he says did, he would have at least called back, which he admits he never did. Like bruh, Noah literally loves him to the point he says he can’t love anyone else and that he will always love Cody. Cody single-handedly ruined his own chances with Noah, but, inadvertently, Alejandro’s and Noah’s chance at love. Then, Cody has the audacity to say that it’s a “misunderstanding” that he was going to “put to rest” and that this time he will “make sure Noah listened.” The last time this bitch tried to explain something, he fucked up so bad that Noah thought Cody was talking about their time in Paris and not the “date” Sierra and Cody had.

I cannot with this shit; even if I didn’t ship AleNoah, Alejandro is still the better, more genuine choice for Noah! I understand that Noah has been through a lot in this fanfiction, but I’m sure Alejandro would understand if Noah wanted to wait until after the show to decide and shit. But NO! This fic must fit the NOCO AGENDA, wherein Cody and Noah always end up together even if it’s not good for them. Obviously, the fanfiction was destined to end in NoCo, but why did Cody have to be so unlikeable to me? I liked him in the other fics, he’s a simp, sure, but he’s a genuine simp. In this, it just feels like he’s clinging onto the last thing that “makes” him happy. Cody seems want to be with Noah more for the factor of nostalgia than anything else, he misses the good times they had together and not Noah as a whole. (I am realizing I might have read in a bit too much to this 2015 NoCo fanfiction.)

I should stop before I get too far into this narc rant of mine. Don’t go attack the author. If you do and I find out, you will be blocked. I do not support such actions. I am complaining, yes, but it’s about the context of the story and not the author themselves, please do leave them be.

On a general note, I like NoCo and AleNoah, but this ff Cody rubbed me the wrong way. I genuinely dislike him. He’s an oval-headed bitch who doesn’t deserve my guy Noah’s attention.

why am I like this please help, i just went on a six paragraph rant from 7:20 AM to 8:11 AM

Send help, I have possibly gone insane from Coronatime.

- Noah needs help and should stop reading old fanfiction after staying up since yesterday

Update 8:30 AM: I probably should have finished the fanfiction before going on a narc rage. Anyways, Alejandro was definitely gonna push Noah out of the fucking plane before Noah apologized for stringing him along and playing with his heart unintentionally. Still, bruh, Alejandro what the fuck. 

Update 8:41 AM: I straight up forgot about the seduction shit Alejandro pulled near the beginning of the story. Ngl, that shit was fucked up. So, the real mvps here are Izzy, Owen, Tyler, Gwen, Ezekiel, and DJ. They have been helpful and good friends to Cody and Noah.

Update 8:50 AM: ZEKE FUCKING DIED. HE SACRIFICED HIS LIFE TO SAVE NOAH FROM GETTING SUCKED OUT OF THE CARGO HOLD. ALEJANDRO IS BIG SUCC AND CODY KISSED NOAH AFTER THEIR MUTUAL FRIEND POSSIBLY DIED. I FUCKING HATE EVERY MAJOR PLAYER IN THIS FANFICTION. THE ABSOLUTE FUCKERY AND TOMFOOLERY THIS SHOWS, I AM TIRED, FLABBERGASTED, AND, FOR ONCE IN MY TD FAN CAREER, I WISH ZEKE WOULD HAVE STAYED AROUND. (I refuse to read the final chapter after this, I did. I’m done. I can’t.)