#for them to be together to do taxes and write hopeful duets :<< /div>
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emo-nova · 5 days ago
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THE SOCIAL MEDIAS HAS INFLUENCED ME INTO WATCHING KPOP DEMON HUNTERS AND IT HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD??? I DONT LISTEN TO KPOP, I WENT IN FOR THE FOUND FAMILY AND APPARENTLY DOOMED STRAIGHT COUPLE?
GOT THE FOUND FAMILY, BUT I THAT WAS THE MOST YEARNING NOT EVEN COUPLE. I GOT STRAIGHT BAITED? WHAT DIMENSION AM I IN??
WHAT
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nadiaportia · 5 years ago
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A Countess’s Masquerade
Summary: A surprising visitor makes an otherwise unpleasant party worthwhile for Nadia.
Word count: ~5.3k
Very much inspired and endorsed by @leatherandsaltybitters thanks to her July Prompt! As soon as I read it, the idea came up in my head and thus this little fic was born. It was quite fun to write and I hope it’ll be equally entertaining for everyone to read~.
“Noddy, darling! Where are you~?” Nadia flinched at her husband’s nasal voice carrying over to the private balcony. She wasn’t hiding from him, of course she wasn’t, but rather taking a break from… just everything and everyone. She liked a good party as much as the next person but this revelry? It threatened to overwhelm her, more than any party in Prakra had ever done. She had been in Vesuvia for three years now and this was her third masquerade so she felt that she should be used to this… or at least get used to it. 
Nadia leaned on the ledge, propped on her elbows and rubbed her temples. Everything was getting to her even though it was only an hour past midnight, and she was sure if she were to have another drop of cloudberry liquor, she'd have enough of it for the rest of her entire life. 
A good white wine would suit her well now and perhaps even lift her spirits to get through the night. With people such as Asra, Julian and their friends it was bound to be an entertaining evening, but besides them… the nobles cared more about getting as wasted as their livers allowed them to, some didn't even forget their agenda on a party and at least at her first masquerade she had to guide Lucio away from nobles trying to lure him into lowering their taxes or giving them money if they were to fulfill half-assed requests. But the man was a grown adult so if he fell for an obvious scam, that was none of her business. 
She took in a deep breath of the chilly night air and looked at the starry sky. The heat of the day had subsided and the gardens were full of masquerade guests. From the balcony she got a good view at those dancing, drinking and laughing, be it at the huge fountain in the middle of the garden or even the maze. 
She saw how a reveler dressed as an orange butterfly pulling another one dressed as a black cat along with them out of the maze and into the woods. Luckily if she had the need to hook up with someone, she had one of the various rooms in the Palace at her disposal, although she understood the thrill of doing so outdoors where someone could walk in at every moment.
"Nadi." She looked over her shoulder at hearing her name. "Here you are." Asra, wearing a opalescent white costume and a small mask with texture resembling snakeskin, leaned with his back next to her against the ledge and took a deep breath. Something about him… was decisively out of balance, and she could feel it wasn't just Lucio being himself or people acting up in general.
"Asra. Are you enjoying the night?"
He nodded, perhaps a tad too quickly, and put on an easy smile. "Yes, don't you worry about me." He waved a hand. "It's just… wow, the Masquerade." His eyes widened in exaggeration for emphasis. 
Nadia laughed. "Yes, truly. It's… quite the event. I don't know if I'll ever grow used to this particular flavor of revelry." She eyed her friend curiously as he brushed a white lock of hair behind his ear and unconsciously dabbed at a small collection of sweat beads with his sleeve. 
"Are you alright?" She reached out and gently touched his elbow. He gulped and nodded. 
"Oh, of course, why shouldn't I be? I think the cloudberry liquor is just so strong that it gives hallucinogens a run for their money." He laughed awkwardly, and Nadia decided to drop the matter. 
Asra could be very elusive if he wanted to, and there was never a way to coax anything out of him that he didn't give up voluntarily. In a way, he was the best secretkeeper you could ask for - he'd never tell. 
"Very well." She coughed. "How's the weather?"
Asra snorted. "Sayelle and Julian decided to hold an impromptu duet of a Galbradan folk song, it was quite impressive." 
Nadia smiled to herself. "Of course it was. They know how to work a stage."
"I'm surprised Julian didn't slur through his part."
"Noddy!" Lucio's loud voice rang over through the air, this time closer. The Countess and the magician looked at each other and simultaneously rolled their eyes. 
"Do you know why?"
"There's guests from Zadith and he wants to make a good impression - which on his own is nigh impossible already when he's sober."
"Well, at least it might be interesting to meet some new people." Nadia stood upright and straightened her dress. "It has been a while since I was in Zadith for the last time. Let's see how much things have changed."
They made their way through the groups of party-goers and entered the ballroom. Here the air was artificially kept cool and it really was a necessity considering that the majority of people were in there. 
"Oh, Asra, thank you for finding Noddy for me." A sweaty hand softly caressed her shoulder and soft lips pressed a kiss on her mask.
Asra's eyes were steely but he nodded in acknowledgement. "You're welcome, sir."
Lucio grinned and put an arm around Nadia. She smiled and touched his arm. "I heard something about a delegation from Zadith?"
"Oh, yes! Some alchemists and a bunch of nobles, small fish but we kinda need their backing because of the trade routes and all that other jazz." He made a vague hand movement. Nadia nodded slowly. "Very well… let’s see what we can do then. Nothing like negotiations during a birthday party."
Lucio let out a dramatic sigh. "So rude, I know. But let's get to it. Oh, hey, where are you going?"
Asra had turned and began walking back into the crowd. "Huh?"
"C'mon, the more the merrier."
"For 'negotiations'?"
"Hm, sure." Lucio grinned. "You're already in with the upper echelons, might as well see the inner workings." He let go off Nadia and put an arm around Asra's shoulder.
Asra's gaze met Nadia, who shrugged as a response. It couldn't do any harm, she thought. His eyes briefly wandered around the room as if he was searching for someone and then sighed.
"Alright, why not?"
They walked up the stairs and onto the upper level of the ballroom, where a group of people stood together in extravagant costumes. Lucio introduced them and Nadia was surprised that somehow he managed to come across as decently put together. The Zadithi nobles were eager to chat with her and were impressed by Lucio's military campaigns, falling easily for his charm. Nadia and Asra leaned back and she was about to suggest they'd leave to another party room, when -
"Oh, apologies, I was exploring some of the rooms in the West Wing! Whoever designed them deserves all the praise." A clear melodic voice rang over them and everyone turned their head towards the woman that approached them. Her costume could only be described with one word: pink - to be specific, the bright hot variant. The fabric was light, resembled ruffled silk and comfortably fit around her body, the dress ended halfway along her thighs but another extravagant piece of fabric continued in the back similarly to a peacock's tail without touching the floor. Her high-heeled shoes were of the exact same hue as the dress, just like the gems around her neck and her earrings. The mask she wore depicted a flamingo. On the vast majority of people, this outfit would have been considered a fashion sin and no doubt resulted in their imprisonment but somehow… it worked fantastically on her. Nadia had no idea how but it did.
The woman herself had impeccable posture as she walked towards them, shoulders low, back straightened and her head held confidently high. Her brown skin meshed well with the vibrant pink of the dress and her dark brown hair was fixed in an updo. Through the mask she saw a pair of eyes the color of dark honey and her full lips were painted a dark red, almost black. 
"Gentlepeople of the Zadithi court, I hope I am not interrupting something." She said as she inclined her head towards the delegation who apparently were her companions all along. 
"Oh, Marquesa, no, you're most welcome to enter the conversation actually." One of them, a tall man with golden skin, said and bowed to her. "We’re actually having a lovely conversation with our hosts - whom, if I recall, you haven't met as of yet!"
To Nadia's surprise, she heard Asra cough and turned to see him looking suddenly very out of it. 
"Really?" The woman made a surprised face and looked from Lucio to Nadia to Asra. "Well, we have already met, have we not, young magician?" Her eyes were on Asra for a brief moment and her eyes twinkled until she turned her attention back to the Count and the Countess. Nadia noticed that her gaze lingered on her for maybe a little too longer before she spoke next.
"Your excellencies: Lady Heloisa de Rubalcaba of Calpacia, representative of the Zaan of Cartagenth in foreign affairs." She made a curtsy and her costume rustled. "To your services, Count Lucio and Countess Nadia."
"We are very honored to have you, Lady Heloisa.” Nadia replied and nodded respectfully. The name vaguely rang a bell in her mind but she couldn’t recall precisely in what context. 
“Likewise.” Lucio added and nodded with a hand on his chest. 
Even though they were on Vesuvian soil and the local sovereigns, etiquette still demanded foreigners with a higher title were to be treated as guests of honor. She wondered what room this marquesa was given - although she did not recall invitations being sent out to the empire of Calpacia to the far West of the continent. Lucio seemed to think the same.
“Cartagenth, Calpacia… if I remember correctly, I stopped sending invitations after them being ignored for three years straight.” His tone was amicable but had an edge to it. Lady Heloisa shrugged. 
“That is very much true, Count Lucio. I was on a diplomatic mission in Zadith meeting my dear friends,”, she winked in the general direction of the Zadithi delegation, “when your invitation reached the council - and since they are allowed to bring guests and I was at the moment the guest of honor at court, here I am!”
“Especially because you mentioned never having been here, Marquesa!” A woman with a headscarf and a fennek mask claimed. 
“Yes.” The marquesa sighed. “The diplomatic relations between Cartagenth and Vesuvia are not the best, after the Vesuvians’, err, I guess one could refer to it as a “business”, in Karnassos, ancient allies of ours from back when they were the local military power.”
Nadia’s eyes went to Lucio who was busy inspecting the tips of his gauntlet. She remembered a history lesson many, many years ago in her childhood, about the nations to the west of Prakra where the kingdoms of Bizatena, Calpacia and Karnassos had joined forces to break down a merchant revolt. 
“C’mon, let’s get out of here.” Asra whispered. A single bead of sweat was rolling down his temple and Nadia raised an eyebrow. Was he that unnerved because of the marquesa?
“Give me a few minutes, Asra, then I’m with you.” She whispered back and gently touched his arm. Asra looked already more at peace and touched her hand reassuringly. 
“Mirror room.” With that, he turned and left.
“Either way, hopefully that can be water under the bridge now - who knows, maybe one day we will need to support each other.” 
“Hm, I think that Vesuvia is doing quite fine as of lately, but thank you for the offer, Lady Heloisa.” Lucio’s voice was honey but the slight curl in his lip indicated to Nadia that he was already displeased with her attitude. One corner of the marquesa’s lips turned upwards and she let out a sigh. 
“That might be true but you know - you never know. Unless you can see the future thanks to a crystal ball.” She winked at Lucio as if they were old friends planning a conspiracy together. Lucio’s cold grey eyes fixated on her warm brown ones and even though most of his face was hidden by the large peacock mask he wore, Nadia saw his ears turning beet red. The marquesa snatched a glass of rosé prosecco from the platter of a bypassing waiter.
“Which I quite frankly cannot - I possess no magical talents, unlike you.” She nodded at the members of the delegation. “For you, my friends, and the students of the alchemical academy of Zadith.” She toasted towards the Zadithi and downed the content of the flute in one go. 
“So this is all that brings you to Vesuvia, ‘diplomatic relations’? As for my husband’s military endeavors, that one has been solved after a court hearing - we paid reparations to the town of Karnassos, but of course I understand why its old allies might bear a grudge towards those who harmed the representative of their sister city.” Nadia stated curtly and tried to ignore Lucio’s questioning look that basically said ‘We paid reparations?’.
“Not exactly, it was also my own curiosity. Especially when I heard that the Countess happened to be a former Princess of Prakra.” Lady Heloisa’s eyes twinkled and her smile turned into something more genuine than the sardonic grin she had put on when talking to Lucio. “That certainly got my attention, and I am glad to know I did not come all the way here to be disappointed.” 
Was the marquesa trying to flirt with her, in front of her husband nonetheless? Bold, but… 
“Either way, thank you - I did not know that the matter had been solved, I thank you for clearing it up to me.”
“You’re more than welcome, Lady Heloisa.”
“And I mean it; your reputation precedes you, Countess Nadia; your work as a stateswoman in the service of your home country is known even to the Calpacian court and your sisters Nafizah and Navra have told me much about you when I was in Prakra two years ago. Quite a shame we did not meet earlier - you seem a most interesting character.” The last sentence was to Nadia’s surprised said in accented but very sure spoken Prakran. At the same time she remembered almost out of nowhere why exactly the name rang a bell. 
“Oh, you’re the playwright! The one who wrote The Dying Swan of Doña Astros.” Navra had raved about this play for at least a whole month and even attended a showing of it when the entourage and actors had travelled to Prakra.
Heloisa smiled and tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “Yes, the first play I ever wrote. I have a soft spot for it but Jocelyn y Templanza is the most dear to me. It’s just so much more personal.” 
“Oh, I haven’t seen either but… now that I recall it, I did read The Ballad of the Brave Knights of Crystalia. A good comedy with great social commentary.” 
“Ah, that one,”, she chuckled, “there are enough people who consider it a tragedy, partly because it’s based on real events. You certainly seem to have enough finesse and sharp wit to figure it out the right way, congratulations.” She winked and Nadia was glad for the mask on her face which hid her blush.
 “The Crystalian Knights were a real mercenary band - not one of them from Crystalia necessarily.” Lucio interjected. Nadia threw him a pointed look. Did he have to forcefully insert himself into the conversation?
“Why, thank you, I am well aware of that, your excellency.” Lady Heloisa’s mouth was a thin line. “My source is - well, was, since their era has ended - quite familiar with them; they were under her service after all.”
Lucio’s eyes widened and his lips pursed but he didn’t press the issue. 
“Reading the play could maybe give you a new insight on the events, darling.” Nadia suggested with a small smile and suppressed a chuckle when Lucio rolled his eyes. 
“Oh, don’t feel pressured to follow your wife’s recommendation, your excellency. Zero readers are better than one self-described expert.” She laughed. Nadia felt the corners of her mouth twitch. As if Lucio would ever finish a book in order to criticize it. Her husband meanwhile only stared at the marquesa who shook her head. “Pardon, I was just joking. A man of your standing, you must be quite educated and your military decorations say more than enough.”
“Oh, no offense taken, Lady Heloisa - or Marquesa? Which one is it? You are dressed like someone more important than you might actually be.” He slightly leaned forward with a grin that bared a little too much teeth.
Before Nadia could open her mouth, the marquesa answered cooly and with a steely look in her brown eyes that by now exuded no warmth whatsoever: “I am a representative of my house and since the actual marquesa is quite the busy woman, the political affairs fall to me, your excellency.” As quickly as her sharp veneer appeared, it was gone again and her tone became amicable again. “Either way… I take it you are quite busy with the delegation; the people who are actually interested in talking to you. Good day, and before I forget it: happy birthday - it is your party I am attending after all.” Lucio opened his mouth to answer, but Lady Heloisa turning on her heel cut him off before a word escaped him.
“Lucio.” Nadia hissed and leveled him with a displeased look. 
“C’mon, Noddy, from whichever backwater that woman is, they haven’t even invented manners over there.” 
Nadia raised an eyebrow which instantly made him shut up. “Have you ever heard of being the bigger person?”
Her husband put on a shameless grin. “Nope. Especially not on my birthday - why though, I’m already the greatest there is!” He looked down on himself and marveled at his peacock costume with a deep cut-out and tight shimmering teal pants.
Nadia sighed. “Like always it’s left to me to fix the messes you leave behind.” 
She didn’t even dignify Lucio with a response and followed the marquesa who with her hot pink costume was not only impossible to miss but also seemed to naturally draw looks to her. Nadia followed her through a crowd and before she reached her, she thought that maybe she was being ridiculous, this woman was a stranger to her but if Lucio just burnt a bridge to her and the Calpacian empire, that couldn’t be good.
“Lady Heloisa.” The marquesa turned at hearing her name. “Countess Nadia.” She said, with no little surprise in her voice. “What can I do for you? If you are here to apologize for your husband’s tactlessness: there is no need to.”
Nadia sighed. “Let me apologize regardless; I reckon you came to Vesuvia to make friends. Like any good host, I will not deny you the possibility to form good, better, bonds between Vesuvia and Calpacia.”
Lady Heloisa looked at her for a moment, then she nodded slowly. “I do not want to drag you from your own party, so feel free to deny me, but I need to breathe some fresh air - if you were to accompany me, I would be most grateful.”
“Well,” Nadia began, “I don’t have anywhere to be, by all means, and I was going to leave either way.” She remembered Asra, who most likely was waiting for her in the mirror room, that he probably left because of the same person who she was now talking to, but shook her head to chase away the thought. On the way to the balconies she saw Deirdra talking to a butterfly and a pigeon and told them as they passed by to tell Asra she wasn’t going to make it, and then the cold nightair hit her in the face. 
“Ah, much better. I thought I was going to suffocate in there.” Lady Heloisa fanned air into her face. “It's too many people in one room - as big as it might be, it is not enough.” She sighed. “Oh well. I don’t mean to be too forward but… how about the gardens? Less people, more fresh air - both sound like a good deal to me.” 
She grinned at Nadia and for a moment her eyes wandered over Nadia’s figure. “If you want to, Countess, that is. We can relax by the arbors too, as long as it’s away from all the spying little eyes. It is so hard to relax when you’re surrounded by just about everyone in existence.”
Nadia considered the offer for a moment and realized that entertaining the thought actually thrilled her. 
“The arbors sound good, you should just know that there's many people in the gardens right now, be it to catch some fresh air or… engage in risky behavior.” 
“Oh ho ho, how naughty! But oh well, it wouldn't be a party without some of that.” Lady Heloisa chuckled but then agreed to them going to the arbors. On the way there, she fell back for a moment but caught up a few seconds later, triumphantly holding a bottle of prosecco in her hand. "Not a party without some of that."
"You took it off a waiter?" Nadia raised an eyebrow but her tone was amused.
"Unless that was the last bottle in the Palace, in which case it'll be spent rather well." She said with a grin. They settled in an arbor far from any big crowds, surrounded by white rose bushes and with a block of marble in its middle. The two women sat on it, with Lady Heloisa wiping the block before doing so. 
"Stains won't show on my costume but yours… a swan should never stain her beautiful plumage." She winked and sat down cross-legged before she stripped the heels of her feet and rubbed her ankles. 
"Where did you even get it from? Considering you didn't even know the Masquerade was going to happen."
"Oh, I have an excellent and diligent tailor. I'm rather proud of what he came up with: it's very 'Me'."
Nadia straightened her long white feathered dress. "Well, it certainly is unique and quite daring, if I might say so."
Lady Heloisa laughed. "Both of us could surely go into the history books of masquerades as 'Best Dressed' of the evening if there was such a thing. No offense to any peacocks that might walk around the grounds at this very moment."
Nadia laughed.
“I apologize for making fun of your husband, I don’t mean to antagonize him.” Nadia highly doubted this, but didn’t say anything as she watched Lady Heloisa wedge the bottle between her knees and began pulling put the cork. “I’m here to mingle after all. Although I’m starting to think that you are much more amicable and approachable than him.” That easy smile was back on her but a loud plop make both of them jump and the marquesa let out a harsh curse as bubbly prosecco spilled out of the bottle.
“Oh, let me please.” Nadia quickly snatched the bottle from her fingers and put the bottle to her mouth, taking a big sip and put it down when most of the foam was gone. Lady Heloisa’s eyes didn’t leave her as she did so and went between the bottle and Nadia when she put it back on the marble block.
“I was about to lament I didn’t bring any glasses with me but… you don’t seem to mind.” She grinned and took the bottle, still stained with some of Nadia’s own lipstick, and took an equally big sip out of it. 
Nadia leaned back on her hands and curiously eyed the marquesa from head to toes. The fingers holding the bottle were long and slender; a silver band adorned her thumb and another her ring finger. Her dress had a thin but deep cut-out and was made to accentuate her long brown legs. There was a slight hint of fruity scent to her, and Nadia imagined her skin to be soft to the touch. 
As the conversation naturally progressed, she noticed that as soon as she was one-on-one and more at ease with someone, the marquesa had a shift in demeanor - her speech was less strained, less formal than when talking next to the Zadithi delegation. 
She told her about why she was in Zadith in the first place (a potential partnership and exchange program between the Guild’s First Magical Institute and the Alchemical Academy of Zadith), her journey (“I feel like a woman of the people now after sleeping on a field bed two days in a row”) and her last trip to the Star Lakes (where she did meet Nahara and Navra as it turned out and if Nadia read the signs correctly, they went on some very heavy nightly carousing) which in turn led to Nadia talking about Prakra and her life in Vesuvia. 
The marquesa hung onto every word that came out of the Countess's mouth and Nadia grew more and more confident the longer she spoke with her. It was so satisfying to talk to someone and have them actually listen to you, showing actual interest in your words and being a good audience. The only other person she had ever felt the same with after leaving Prakra was Asra; his friends were very sweet but she didn't know them that well yet, Doctor Devorak would tell his own tales in response which was fine but not always what one needed, and Lucio… everything was a competition for him and he would come up with an outrageous lie to make her feel small.
“So, how are you liking Vesuvia so far?”
“Hm.” Lady Heloisa pursed her lips. "It reminds me a bit of Bizatena, but... ,", she sighed, "less well organized. I won't lie, Countess, but there are parts of the city that look atrocious. Happy citizens are happy to be subjects, and unhappy citizens… well, I don't think I need to finish that thought. Prakra has a very high standard of life, its citizens enjoy many rights - how does it compare to Vesuvia?" 
Nadia's thoughts went to coliseum fights and the neglect of the aqueduct system. She felt blood rush to her face as she didn't reply right away, in shame of not doing enough for the city and its inhabitants.
"There isn't even a proper legal system." Why was she telling this woman about it? She had done nothing to prove herself trustworthy - in fact, Nadia thought about the look on Asra's face when he saw the marquesa, that surely had to mean something. 
Lady Heloisa shook her head. "For fuck’s sake. That… sounds horrible. My true condolences." She gave Nadia an empathetic look and reached out to touch her arm. "I hope that one day Vesuvia is ruled by the sovereign it deserves - the quicker the better."
Nadia looked at her for a moment as she processed what the marquesa had just said. Was she really implying what she thought?
"You clearly are a smart and cultured woman, Countess, there is no doubt about it. You surely have got to have some influence amongst the count's advisers or the Vesuvian council in some way, if your husband doesn't listen to you - which is a grave mistake on his part - then at least he should do so with his courtiers."
Nadia thought of the courtiers Lucio had brought to Vesuvia, those strange creatures of whom she wasn't even sure if there was a soul in their chest or not… slippery Vlastomil, mysterious Valdemar, boorish Vulgora and excessive Volta. The newest consul, a young Vesuvian named Valerius, son of a noblewoman who had faithfully served the previous Count and Countess, was the only one she felt some sort of kinship towards but even then she felt on thin ice with him. 
"I will try." She conceded with a sign. "You speak like someone who has plenty of experience with this."
The marquesa grinned and shrugged. "I don't kiss and tell, dearest Countess, all I will say is this: the Cartagense court is a lion's pit and its inhabitants are eternally starved and thus always down to rip you to shreds. I hope for your sake that the Vesuvians are nothing like that - even if I can see you surviving in a hostile environment.”
Nadia watched her as she sighed and reached up to her face to take off the flamingo mask. She didn’t know what exactly to expect behind the mask but she was anything but disappointed: the marquesa had a face that was quite easy on the eyes. Coupled with her magnetic personality, her charisma, her way with words… the woman was fascinating to put it in one word. And yet… she reminded her of those flesh-eating orchids from the jungles in Northern Prakra. 
Lady Heloisa turned the mask in her hand and scoffed. 
“I had this costume made last minute when your husband's invitation arrived in Zadith. Something that says 'I'm down for the fun!', no statement piece or whatever.” She brushed a non-existing speck of dirt off the mask. “Yours clearly positions you as the one with her head in the game, Countess: regal, gracious and with a protective, mayhaps even a little ruthless, streak.” She raised an eyebrow, her smirk confident. “Is it that what's underneath your mask? I'd love to know.”
She reached out to caress Nadia's swan mask but just as her fingers brushed it, Nadia took a hold of her wrist. The marquesa's eyes widened but she didn't protest, on the contrary, the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. Nadia's lips curved into a smile as she gently stroked with her thumb over the skin of the marquesa's inner wrist. The smell of fruity perfume intensified. 
“I don't kiss and tell either, Marquesa.”
Lady Heloisa's eyes were fixed on hers for a moment and then seemed to collect herself. “I have never been one to back down from a challenge.” Her cheeks darkened a bit and she lowered her hand a bit - Nadia let her until she stopped just shortly above her thigh covered by the white satin of her costume. 
“You certainly are daring, Lady Heloisa.” Nadia gently let go of her and in the process trailed over her delicate hand, caressing the knuckles of her long fingers. 
“Is that what you prefer?” The marquesa scooted closer to her, their legs almost touching. “Daring women?”
Nadia felt her face heat up but leaned in, tilted Lady Heloisa's chin up with her finger and replied: “Who says I am not a daring woman?”
The marquesa let out an light chuckle at that. “Countess Nadia, you do have some surprises up your sleeve. I don't know what I expected from Vesuvia but it wasn't someone like you.” She reached for the bottle and frowned. 
“Damn… guess we killed that one.” 
Nadia laughed. She stood up and gulped as she swayed slightly on the spot but held her balance. “I suppose that's the sign we should get back to the ballroom.”
“Ah, yes. I suppose you are right.” Lady Heloisa put her heels back on and when she stood there, there was little to no sway at all - impressive, given the fact the marquesa had drunk more and was also smaller. 
“Maybe,”, Nadia hooked her arm in with the marquesa's. The flamingo costume rustled and the marquesa sucked in a breath as Nadia pulled her close, “you can surprise me in return with your dance moves.”
The laugh Lady Heloisa let out was loud and so very uncharacteristic for a cultured noble woman such as her. Nadia gave her a curious look as she tried to regain her composure. Maybe they were both a bit more enthusiastic after sharing that bottle. Lady Heloisa ran her fingers along Nadia's arm; her pink nails scraped a bit on her skin.
“Oh, that I surely will.”
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Hello, loves! So, I recently saw another masterlist post like this and as I’ve written a fair number of victuuri fics, I thought it could be fun to make one as well!!
I’ve written 27 Victor/Yuuri fics (no other ships involved) and all of them (except for one) are complete! This list compiles all of them neatly together and I can give some author insight into my own personal favorites versus which ones are my most popular, etcetera. 
The list will be compiled in alphabetical order! All relevant tags, ratings, author’s notes, and short(er) summaries will be shown in an organized manner. 
If interested, click the read below! Much love to you all and I hope you’ll like one of them, maybe!!! ❤️❤️
KEY:      ** = author’s favorite     bolded = top 3 kudos’d    IMG = embedded images in fic    
Abstract Intuition ~ Teen/3.2k words  ~ Introspection, Japanese Myths, Dreams vs. Reality ~ a/n: weird! loved writing it though ~ in which Yuuri understands more about himself than he thinks he does and believes in a Japanese supernatural being 
Aegri somniavana ~ Teen/2.3k words ~ Major Character Death, Heavy Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Depression, Panic Attacks ~ a/n: sad! sad sad sad! if you don’t want to be sad, do not read this! ~ “The love of a half-dead heart will keep you half alive” 
a blessing in disguise ~ Teen/WIP~ AUs: Fantasy & Royalty, Witch Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, Mutual Pining, Magic & Wizards, Light Angst, Fluff & Humor, Child Victor (at times) ~ a/n: one of my favorites concept-wise, will update one day! ~ Victor gets cursed. Yuuri does not. Yuuri most definitely feels like he is though.
can’t buy love, but you can try if you’re a ridiculous man like Victor Nikiforov ~ General/495 words ~ SAPPY, old victuuri ~ a/n: domestic victuuri makes me so soft :’’) ~ Victor loves spoiling his grandchildren. 
Chair AU (series with 2 fics) ~ General/505 words ~ why ~ a/n: yes it’s that fic the terrible and infamous chair au, yes i wrote that, yes i am aware of its contents, yes it is ridiculous ~ yuuri is a chair
ethereal ~ General/877 words ~ Introspection, Canon Compliant ~ a/n: romantic drabble ~ realizations
even Time ~ Mature/18k words ~ Time Travel Fix-It With A Twist!, AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Poisoning, Depression, Complicated Relationships, Non-Linear Narrative ~ a/n: this was my 2nd yoi fic! there are two ways to read it (one chapter for each way). this is quite sad, but also… not ~ in which yuuri and victor get it wrong until time comes in and allows for them to get it right
finally ~ General/1.8k words ~ Mutual Pining, High School AU, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff ~ a/n: ngl i wrote this so quickly and did not expect people to like it as much as they did ~ in which everyone got the memo that Yuuri and Victor are “totally dating” except for Yuuri
going places ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Pre-Canon, AU- Canon Divergence, Self-Reflection, Adolescent Sexuality ~ a/n: my first fic!!!!!!!! i wrote this right after ep 3 was released, this was basically my take on how victor and yuuri knew each other before the reveal in ep 10 :3 ~ viktor remembers and yuuri helps
hearts beat ~ Teen/1.4k words ~ Introspection, Angst, Canon Compliant, Insecurity, set after the beginning of episode 12 ~ a/n: i wrote this for a friend actually :3 this isn’t as sad as people seem to think? like? it’s better afterward as seen in the show? people acting like i broke them up smh ~ Yuuri doesn’t see what Victor sees in him.
in sickness & in health ~ General/511 words ~ Sappy, Sickfic, Domestic ~ a/n: cute drabble :( ~ Yuuri takes care of his whiny and sick husband.
in sync ~ Teen/442 words ~ Introspection, Falling in Love ~ a/n: soft :( ~ heartbeat
inevitable ~ Teen/972 words ~ True Love, Domestic, Insecurity, Sappy Fluff ~ a/n: this is probably my favorite work for domestic victuuri ~ Victor had a bad day and comes home and snaps at Yuuri. Cue little fight and makeup. :)
love (leaf) pile ~ General/354 words ~ Fluff, Victor is Extra ~ a/n: this one was so fun to write! ~ Yuuri shows Victor the glory that is jumping in leaf piles!!
love letters are too cliché ~ Teen/7.2k words ~ Pen Pals, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, College AU (sort of), Letters ~ a/n: this was definitely one that took a lot of me to write for some reason but i’m proud of how it ended up uwu ~ Viktor and Yuuri are pen pals. They both get more out of it than they originally thought.
moonstruck ~ General/712 words ~ Canon Compliant, True Love, Gentle Kissing ~ a/n: i think this was my first ever drabble? i was so soft when writing it ~ moon·struck (adjective): unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.
Much To Do About Everything ~ Teen/24.8k words ~ Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Misunderstandings, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Fluff and Angst, Rivalry ~ a/n: this work is more dialogue heavy than my others and it was very fun to write that dialogue :) ~ Victor and Yuuri won’t stop complaining about each other. Phichit and Chris, being the wonderful best friends that they are, just want them to shut the hell up. Starfleet Academy/Star Trek/Much Ado About Nothing AU
**Pigeon Alley ~ IMG ~ Teen/35.5k words ~ Famous Actors Victuuri, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Insecurity, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism/Alcohol Abuse, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Non-Linear Narrative, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Media Attention ~ a/n: one of my personal favorites, writing this fic helped me in more ways than one ~ What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.
the rain before the rainbow ~ IMG ~ Teen/7.6k words ~ ANXIETY, Anxiety Attacks, Insecurity, Introspection, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, Sick Makkachin ~ a/n: one of my more emotionally taxing fics honestly but working with Bee was so fun ~ Yuuri is anxious about marrying Victor.
recovery & the sun ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Character Study, Recovery, Drabble ~ a/n: one of my my darkest fics (if not the darkest) and also one where i wrote it just to project some of my own feelings ~ Yuuri understood in a way that Victor had never expected, had never even hoped.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy ~ Explicit/1.7k words ~ Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, basically Yuuri rides Victor while Victor wears a cowboy hat, kind of a crack fic? ~ a/n: fjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjjfj why ~ When Victor receives a cowboy hat from a fan, Yuuri may or may not want to devastate him.
strength ~ Teen/1.1k words ~ Gender Dysphoria, Trans Katsuki Yuuri, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Established Relationship ~ a/n: so this fic haunts me bc i think i misinterpreted the prompt wrong (didn’t see the “him” at the end there) and a big part of me wishes i wrote yuuri as a trans GUY and i feel bad whenever i think about this fic but some people liked it and yeah ~ Yuuri feels dysphoric and Victor comforts her.
sunflower ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Slight Angst, Introspection, Femininity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Fluff, Sappy ~ a/n: one of my fave drabbles! uwu~ Yuuri realizes it’s okay to like wearing dresses.
touch ~ General/439 words ~ True Love, Anxiety ~ a/n: this is also another one of my fave drabbles ~ Viktor and Yuuri express their love through touch.
**The Universe’s Secrets ~ IMG ~ General/5.3k words ~ Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Sappy, Introspection, Canon Compliant, Tension, Relationship Study, Developing Relationship ~ a/n: another fic that took a lot of me but i’m proud of writing and ALSO another fic where i very much enjoyed working with jercy~ 3 times Victor smiles at Yuuri + 3 times Yuuri smiles at Victor. 
The World Opened With You ~ IMG ~ Teen/10.6k words ~ Famous Victuuri, Violinist Victor, Pianist Yuuri, Musician AU, Depression, Family Issues, Sappy, Introspection ~ a/n: this fic really popped off huh !! i honestly never expected it to and it meant a lot that it did and thank you STILL nikai for making gorgeous artwork, i really loved working with him too :( ~ Victor and Yuuri are paired up to play a duet together. More things come from it than expected.
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phillipcole · 8 years ago
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Post-AGT Appearance 828: Real Time with Bill Maher August 4
Aaaaaaaaaaavonelle would end the month of July at 16 on the country chart and start reversing direction, down to 28 on the American top 40.  My agent would be flooded with new talent by now and would have revised his goals to having at least one song active on the list at all times, so the decision to not release the next duet until the tour in November would be firm but which to release would be in doubt.  Because bill Maher and I were both associated with The World’s Most Disgusting Comedian we would have decided not to appear together until nearly the release date and August 4 would be the perfect date.  Then Al Gore’s latest film-an Inconvenient Sequel would open that day making him the show’s featured guest.  Of course I can’t write a script that includes me being on the panel unless I get the whole transcript, put myself in place of one of the guests and adjust the dialogue accordingly.  That’s too much work.  I did try to get a video of the actual show to see how I���d fit, but that didn’t work.  So I decided this is how it would have gone.
Maher: Thank you.  An Inconvenient Sequel is in theaters starting today.  Before you go Mr. Vice President, our next guest would like to meet you.  His name’s Phil Cole.  Do you know who he is/
Gore: Yes, I do.
Maher: He’s a real big fan of yours.  Here he is.  Thank you.
Gore: I wouldn’t have thought you’d be a big fan of mine.
PBC: Yes, for over 7 and a half years I was wishing you’d be the next President.
Gore: Really?
PBC: Yes, I was hoping Bill would resign.
Gore: Oh well.
Maher: Thank you again for joining us, Mr. Gore.
Gore: My pleasure.
Maher: So Phil, do you believe in all this global warming nonsense?
PBC: Yes, I believe in global warming and I like it.  If I get real old I want it to be a little warmer not a little colder.  Don’t you folks, young people?
Maher: That explains some recent elections.
PBC: Don’t forget, most climate change deniers live in the south, and they’d love not to worry about that one February frost that ruins the orange harvest.  I live in New England, and I don’t need to see pictures of Mount Kilimanjaro to believe winters are warmer than they used to be.  I remember the winters when I was a kid, snow over my head...
Maher: You were a lot shorter then.
PBC: Lots of days off from school, eating snow.
Maher: What’s it taste like.
PBC: We flavored it...with urine.
Maher: Oh boy.
PBC: Even though it was near big smoggy cities I lived close to nature.  They say Davy Crockett was raised in the woods so he knew every tree.
Maher: That’s how the song goes.
PBC: I lived in the woods, so I peed on every tree.
Maher: Ha ha ha well we...we ahh.
PBC: Also I’m not surprised Kilimanjaro has more snow on it...since it’s climbed every week by men in heated tents!  That’ll melt some snow.  Honestly though, I’ve always hung around with old people, very old people, and they assured me not only are winters milder now, but were milder when I was a child than when they were a child 50 years earlier.  That’s enough proof for me.
Maher: Well, we’re almost out of time already, and I invited you here...
PBC: Was I invited, I forgot?
Maher: Ha ha ha, yes I invited you here to talk about your progress in building the Libertarian Party.
PBC: Yes, the party just enlisted its one millionth member.  It doesn’t cost anything, but you do have to go to your local town hall to make that official.  Don’t bring your drugs with you.  You don’t want to make it that easy for them.
Maher: So there is some danger involved.
PBC: Yes, but it’s worth it, and we really want some people who are pot-free, like myself, to join, because that way you might remember to vote.
Maher: That’s right.  Election day is the one day you want your mind clear.
PBC: I know a lot of you take drugs to forget about politics, but once in a while there’s a chance to make a difference.
Maher: So your comedy act now includes a recruiting segment.
PBC: That’s right.  I’m trying to make my performances a non-profit organization (since I usually don’t make any money on the deal anyway).  
Maher: So we have a clip from how you recruit.  Roll the film.
(Film starts.)
PBC: Any drug users here?  Ok, you’re brave.  There are 25 uniformed police in the room plus 4 detectives.  They’d all be glad to escort you to your hotel for the evening.  Anyway, you should join the Libertarian Party.  Our goal is to make your drugs legal, safe and rare, rare by taking the fun out of it and taxing them more than gasoline and cigarettes.  So join.  Guess what?  With those taxes we can eliminate the IRS.  Any of you straight-laced conservatives like to get rid of the IRS?  You should join too.  They say politics makes strange bedfellows. In fact, I’m pretty sure some of these druggies will be glad to join you in bed after one of our meetings.  We have a sign-up sheet by the door.
(Film ends.)
PBC: So you see, the Libertarian combines the best elements-or maybe the worst-of the constituencies of both major parties.  If you think clearly...
Maher: Admittedly hard for many Libertarians.
PBC: Yes, you’ll see the Libertarian Party is where you really belong.
Maher: Thank you.  Remember Phil and I are both in the upcoming movie The World’s most Disgusting Comedian, coming out November 3.
PBC:   Also starring Amy Schumer, Jon Stewart, who also directed it, William Shatner, playing himself so he doesn’t have to try to act, and that amateur...what’s his name?
Maher: Matthew McConaghey.
PBC: Spoiler alert: that guy doesn’t have one funny line in the movie.
Maher: It’s not a comedy.  He plays the police detective.  Anyway, thank you Phil for joining us.
PBC: My pleasure.
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