#forshowingmewhatideserve

[to-fathom-constellations]

All my life I have never understood why certain tragedies have occurred; why they have happened to me.  I have been searching for a reason behind every spot of darkness, every corner of heartbreak and every lesson that could be hidden to tell me why things happen the way they do.  And then there is you.  And I think I know why you will never be in my life; I think I understand now why I went through all the pain, seasonal depression, all the helpless nights.  You were only here to show me that I deserved more. That I should love myself harder; that I should never forget the artist that lives behind the cage of my mind. You would exist in my life like the trees would lose their leaves during the winter time. Only one time a year, but when it sheds, it is completely bare.  And although I have spent nine years waiting for you to be it, for you to come be my hero, you have shown me that I don’t need one.  This particular year, your absence has shown me that my leaves will come back, and no matter what, my tree will continue to grow. 

And I don’t need a damn thing from you.