#fun fact: i failed chinese in secondary school and it ✨shows✨!!!!!!!

[deus-ex-mona]

found this ✨absolutely terrible✨ aiyuu crack drabble in my drafts… only it’s completely in simplified chinese (with writing standards befitting of a 9 year old, no less). just what was past me thinking?

english tl included at the bottom bc even i’m befuddled by the strange happenings of this… thing

-og chinese version (read and weep)-

一个风和日丽的早晨，愛蔵开开心心地走向办公室。他的脸上带着一个蛮美的笑容。

“今天，我一定会跟勇次郎说我喜欢他！”他对自己说，点了点自己的头。

可是，他一走进办公室，就突然碰到一个人的背后。

“啊！对不起……诶？勇次郎？”

“……愛蔵。原来是你。” 勇次郎转了身。他的美丽的脸上带着一个很累的表情。”为什么我要在今天看到你的丑脸呢？”

“你说了些什么？！”愛蔵喷了气。他伸出双手，紧紧地握住了勇次郎的上衣。

“你干嘛呢？”勇次郎愁眉苦脸地看着他。“这是为什么我讨厌你。”

愛蔵的心痛了一点。“你讨厌我？！可是我喜欢你啊！”

“……什么？”勇次郎眨了他的眼。

“你必要开你的耳朵大大！”愛蔵生气的喊道。“勇次郎！我爱你！”

“……愛蔵。你发狂了吗？”勇次郎摇了头。“你好好去医院吧。你今天不要上班了。涼海会明白。”

“为什么你讲她的名字呢？”愛蔵慢慢地放开勇次郎的上衣。“你……是不是喜欢那个土豆女？！”

“……什么？”勇次郎叹了一口气。“你怎样来到那个结束呢？”

“因……因为……”愛蔵闷闷不乐地低着头。“因为你……上个拜五说你喜欢一个人……可是你刚才说你讨厌我……所以……只剩下了那个土豆女……”

“愛蔵。”

“……什么？”

“你是一个大笨蛋。”

“喂！”愛蔵抬起头。“你在说什么？！”

“愛蔵，”勇次郎又叹了一口气。“你忘记了，是吗？”

“我忘记了些什么？！”

“我们从上个月做男朋友了。”

“……真的啊？！”愛蔵展开他的眼。

“为什么我会说谎呢？”勇次郎的脸发红。“我……也喜欢你……可是一点点而已。”

“那……”愛蔵伸出他的俩手，把勇次郎抱抱了很紧。“那就好啊！勇次郎！我真的很爱你！”

“你有没有听我说？！我只喜欢你一点点！”

“那也是好！我可以会让你非常爱我！”

“我才不要！愛蔵！你真的是一个很大的大笨蛋！”

-english tl (lol)-

It was a bright and sunny morning. Aizo happily strolled towards the office, a radiant smile stretched across his lips.

“I’ll definitely tell Yujiro that I like him today!” he declared to himself with a nod of his head.

However, he found himself colliding into someone’s back the moment he set foot into the office.

“Ah! I’m sorry… Eh? Yujiro?”

“…Aizo. It’s you,” Yujiro turned around, an evidently exhausted expression plastered across his beautiful features. “Why do I have to see your hideous face today?”

“The hell did you just say?!” Aizo huffed, reaching his hands forward to grip Yujiro’s shirt tightly.

“The heck’s your problem?” Yujiro frowned. “This is why I hate you.”

Aizo’s heart ached a little. “You hate me?! But I like you!”

“…What?” Yujiro blinked.

“Listen up, okay?!” Aizo hollered angrily. “I love you, Yujiro!”

“…Have you gone mad, Aizo?” Yujiro shook his head. “You should go to the hospital. There’s no need for you to work today. Suzumi will understand.”

“Why did you mention her name?” Aizo slowly released Yujiro’s shirt. “Do you… like that potato girl or something?!”

“…What?” Yujiro sighed. “How did you end up at that conclusion?”

“Be… because…” Aizo lowered his head morosely. “You mentioned that… you liked someone last Friday… But you just said that you hate me… So… that just leaves the potato girl…”

“Aizo.”

“…What?”

“You’re a huge idiot.”

“Hey!” Aizo’s head snapped upwards. “What was that for?!”

“Aizo,” Yujiro heaved another sigh. “You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”

“Just what did I forget?!”

“We’ve been boyfriends since last month.”

“…For real?!” Aizo’s eyes widened.

“Why would I lie about that?” Yujiro’s face reddened. “I… like you too… But only a little.”

“That’s…” Aizo extended his arms out to engulf Yujiro in a tight hug. “That’s fine with me! I really love you, Yujiro!”

“Didn’t you hear what I just said?! I only like you a little bit!”

“I’m fine with that too! I’ll definitely make you love me lots!”

“No way! Aizo! You really are a huge idiot!”