#gems from my drafts

[nkogneatho]

nah this bitch be high on pepto bismol to be able to come up with shit like this

[nevermindtheweights]

I just want to

[lyss-overcomplicates-everything]

after finishing ALL of the A81 podcast, I'm watching the show.

Tf is this?? Why are they saying 'fuck' so much?? Why would they make Dan a dramatic backstory?? I can get behind Dan being a restoration guy, I can see how that would make sense but they're changing the funghn story too much. Ugh. Part of Dan's appeal in the podcast was that he's just a guy. A bit lonley, a bit nervous. A guy. TV show Dan is a confident guy. What??? Tf???

[hoechlin]

THE GREEN KNIGHT (2021) dir. David Lowery

[daftpatience]

the fujoshi to gay man transformation is alot like the littledog behinmd the fence saying heres the life i always wanted except its me in highschool watching two boys fight heach other and being scared that im a pervert

[james-spooky]

man i love lgbt cinema

[mcybree]

In his head. I wanted a blorbo-themed phone wallpaper so I made one for myself ig

as my lockscreen (yay!!) + no houses version

[cxyotl]

if foolish had joined dsmp before nov16 he would have saved manburg. with the power of love. and a nice ass.

[cementcornfield]

Draft Thoughts

okay, a week (and a day) out from the draft and i feel like rambling about it. this is only my second year paying attention in the offseason so, you know, grain of salt!

so the conventional wisdom is that you should always draft players, not positions. you shouldn't corner yourself into having to reach for a player that isn't as good because you need that position, versus getting an amazing player at a position that would just be a luxury (for example, if somehow jeanty falls to us at 17 and we don't grab him because we want a guard or something).

perhaps someone should tell the bengals that though, or, maybe they have and the katie and duke just rolled their eyes are assured whoever told them that actually they are MUCH smarter than you, we know what we're doing (not spending enough in FA and then having to draft for need thus practically guaranteeing reaching/taking risky picks) and then they wonder why their drafts go so poorly 🙃

but what's fun about this year is we have SO MANY needs that in a way, we /can/ draft best player available because more than likely, we need whatever position that player is (unless they're a QB or WR lol). so maybe it /does/ work out this time?? that's my glass half full take at least!!

here are some scenarios i'd be happy with:

R1 pick 17: i want us to start with a DT. we need interior pass rush because we have NOTHING right now. literally nothing. and some people don't think it's a need because last year we drafted both jenkins and jackson, and paid BJ and TJ this offseason. which is fair, BUT those are all run blockers/stuffers. they stop the run, they're all either bad to terrible at affecting the passer in anyway. (plus, it's not like the new DC drafted jenkins and jackson last year, maybe he wants to get his own guy??) and if we want a true game changer on our defense, i think it starts here. more pass rush means less time for lamar/patrick/josh/jayden to just hang around the pocket for years while our DBs eventually lose their coverage battles (because who can cover for 12 fucking seconds??). and if we want that game changer, i think we need to do it in the first round, second round at the absolute latest. while it IS a deep DT class, there aren't a lot of pass rushing game wreckers that will last that long.

i'd be happy with either walter nolen or derrick harmon here. leaning slightly towards nolen. both aren't perfect (nolen went to a few different high schools/colleges which is a bit of a red flag, but his explanations check out to me. while harmon is big and disruptive but isn't the best tackler).

and honestly that seems to be what all the whisperings from my beat guys indicate?? almost every prediction the last few weeks has been that we'll grab one of them, and these guys all have their ears to the ground at paycor 👀

however, i also wouldn't be at all mad (in fact i'd be thrilled) if we got a premium guard at 17 like kelvin banks. or one of the top safeties - starks or emmanwori just because that's also a position of need, and pretty top heavy (but i feel like we can still get a decent safety later on). i've also heard people wanting edge here but tbh i don't like any of the edge guys projected for R1 and there's good depth here. plus trey IS coming back (i KNOW IT), and while i don't have the most faith in myles, i can allow myself to believe his brother on twitter that Actually he'll be good this year (lol). and joseph ossai is someone i've always thought was better than how lou used him!

R2 pick 49: this is where i want us to get a guard. and i'm so serious if we wait past this round i'm losing my fucking mind on here in front of all of you (not that i haven't done this before!) we've been meeting with a lot of guards that are projected to go in this round, so it seems like the bengals are on the same page. a few guys who could apparently start day 1 that i like: jonah savaiinaea, donovan jackson, and tate rateledge. all of them are strong in pass protection (and decent at least against the run) which, is obviously what we need for a QB like joe. savaiinea and jackson have position versatility in that they could also potentially play tackle for us if needed. rateledge might be able to do that too, but he's only got experience at guard so it wouldn't be as seamless as the other two. but what he DOES have in his favor is that he played right next to amarius at georgia for a few years, so that chemistry is already established which could be huge. (he also has a beautiful mullet). i'd be happy with any of these guys if they fall to us, leaning tate rateledge if only for the vibes, but again, satisfied with any of them.

if however we get a guard like banks in the first round, then this is where i feel like we'd need to grab the best pass rusher available, which, if the board falls our way, could be TJ Sanders. great college production, versatile, but just not quite as polished as the two i like in the first round.

as for R3-R6 (keep in mind that, at this time, unless we somehow wrangle up a decent trade back, we don't have a 7th round pick 🥲) i'm less picky. especially because i can't really know what i want here until we see R1-R2. but i'll be feeling so much better if we nail that interior pass rush and pass protection. then i feel like we honestly could be free to just do best defensive player available. we definitely need safety help. we definitely need linebacker help. those positions are typically drafted in this range. and while they probably wouldn't be instant starters, we should be able to find at least some higher floor rotational guys.

i will say that paul dehner has convinced me i want a runningback in round 5. apparently that's the sweet spot for a loaded RB class this year, so i 'll take one! i haven't done any research on individuals though, but like, RB has one of the highest rookie year success rates. i'm sure we can find someone to be RB2 between chase and samaje (who. bless his heart. i love him. but he's gotta be RB3).

if y'all wanna do some more research in the upcoming week, i HIGHLY recommend this spreadsheet made by joe goodberry and a few other guys. a lot of great data in there and he's got great further analysis on his twitter/youtube channel.

you could also keep an eye on the locked on bengals guys (on youtube and twitter) and paul dehner's youtube channel and his draft series in the athletic. they've got good analysis too AND 100% have sources on the inside because they have gotten very very good at predicting who the bengals are going for (nailed mims last year, and thus /i/ nailed mims last year 🔥)

would love to hear all of your thoughts too if you wanna share!

[kiwinatorwaffles]

a heavily desecrated ship chart that i made into not even a ship chart of pdgt gem and the culprit she’s pursuing that i drew a few months back HELP

blocked out for spoilers. naturally. who knows i might release the unspoiled version after i finish the fic

[runnerleckie]

[nevermindtheweights]

Kyouko Kasodani and her thunderous sounds.

Booming forth.

.....

She whose failing the Buddhist diet each and every meal and you can tell through sight and sound.

[lexsnotdead]

it's almost that time of the year

[fadinginstyle]

spiritually jerking off

[gemini-queen42]

Hey lads very important scientific discovery for peer review that doubles as a reminder/establishment of the kind of insane I am:

These 2 duos?

yaoi* & Yuri* editions of the Exact Same Thing.

(* in the ambiguated vibes based sense rather than abt direct genders. Though the true definitions are still applicable ofc, it's not limited to that. Like they're being used more like... internet rot versions Of Kiki & Bouba lol

Like if u put Gaston & Lefou into Jen & Needy's roles in Jennifer's Body they'd become Yuri. And (maybe?) Vise versa.)

[paraphwrites]

absolutely consumed by the idea of tragedy in literature because what do you mean aristotle decided that the most affective way to cope with humanity is to force yourself through devastation and aeschylus thought about adding two actors and now thousands of years later i'm sobbing REREADING a marauders fic that i came into KNOWING EVERYONE DIED IN because it was IN THE TAGS and i have read it FIVE TIMES

no but something about this idea of inevitability haunts tragedies. romeo and juliet explains in the prologue exactly what is about to unfold, yet we watch it anyway. as hadestown says, "it's a sad song, yet we must sing it anyway." it is like we are haunted by these tragedies. we wear them as our crowns and we mourn them as our inevitable sorrows.