#get rich quick porky
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Layout drawing for Get Rich Quick Porky (1937).
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i sincerly keep forgetting that ur actor au isnt actually canon. i just found myself thinking while watching frasier "hmm well porky has so many brothers that ONE of them could be like frasier" (mapping dafpork onto frasier) and then i remembered porky having a ton of brothers is just a thing u invented
CHARLIEEE HI!!! OMG I AM DOING THIS TO MYSELF ALLLL THE TIME it actually drives me crazy sometimes, i’ll be trying to think of something from the shorts or i’ll be watching something FROM the shorts and being like “oh yeah and Porky did ___ after—wait no he didn’t I MADE HIM DO THAT”.
AND! ACTUALLY!!! that’s the blessing of the actor au, 95% of everything in there is just an extension of what’s already in the shorts LOL it’s really just making mountains out of molehills. SO PORKY ACTUALLY DOES HAVE A BUNCH OF BROTHERS! in The Case of the Stuttering Pig! that’s what i based his family dynamic off of (and replaced Petunia with an actual sister LOL), and he makes mentions of a brother (and sister) in radio interviews or other shorts like Paying the Piper (“aaaah ya brother eats jelly beans” “i wonder how he knows so much about my family 🤨”) SO! fantastic news, we can still add the Frasier Beams and have it be…. canon-ish enough.
IT REALLY IS SUCH A FUNNY AND DELICATE LINE TO WALK i was just glancing at my ao3 tags the other day becahse i have it tagged as both an alternate universe and canon compliant, i was wondering if i should take the canon compliant out but like… it’s… it’s not NOT “canon” compliant… LOL SO you’re absolutely not the only one!!
#OH and he mentions having a big brother in Get Rich Quick Porky too. so. CANON#LOVELY TO HEAR FROM YOU CHARLIE THIS MADE MY MORNING!!#✉️
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i get so sick in the head thinkin about "what if porky did have to age like a normal human, and grow up, and navigate ordinary society as an adult with responsibilities." he hates it so much. the mundanity of intermission au is an unsung blessing for like every other character. no world on your shoulders, plenty of time to sort out your issues, peace and love on planet earth. but it's porky's worst nightmare. he yearns for cartoonish high stakes, fantastical drama he can savor forever, the chance to be something more than himself. he can't stomach the tedium of accountability, or schedules, or budgeting groceries. he looks at the life ahead of him, parking lots & loan payments & trips to the DMV, and thinks "this is really all there is??" he envisions himself growing old and feels hollow and nauseous and hopeless inside. and even if he finds success it'll never be good enough for him. spoiled un-wealthy kid clinging to middle school grudges & grandiose fantasies & get-rich-quick schemes, as his life spirals out of his control. all because he decided long ago that the weight of growing up is just too heavy to bear. he's so fucking SAD, and yet he really is 20 or 21 years old, he's not beholden to anyone anymore, he could put in the effort to change and choose to do better for himself at any moment!! but he never will
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Termite Terrace Club - August 28th
1937 - Get Rich Quick Porky - Dir. Bob Clampett
1954 - Yankee Doodle Bugs - Dir. Friz Freleng (70th Anniversary)
1965 - Tease for Two - Dir. Robert McKimson
TV
2023 - Bugs Bunny Builders Season 1: “Batty Kathy”
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Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies 1937 Episode 24: Get Rich Quick Porky
Written and directed by Bob Clampett
Animated by Chuck Jones
Voice characterizations by Mel Blanc, Cal Howard, Earle Hodgins, Billy Bletcher & Shirley Reed
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Holidays 8.28
Holidays
Bow Tie Day
Crackers Over the Keyboard Day
Criminal Appreciation Day
Crumbs Between the Keys Day
Dream Day Quest and Jubilee
828 Day
Emerati Women’s Day (UAE)
Emmett Till Day
End of the Fairy Tale Day
Giving Black Day (a.k.a. Give 828)
Gone-ta-Pott Day [every 28th]
Green Shirt Guy Day
I Have a Dream Day
International Read Comics in Public Day
Manifest 828 Day
Mariamoba (Republic of Georgia)
National Bow Tie Day
National Grandparents Day (Mexico)
National Over It Day
National Power Rangers Day
National Thoughtful Day
Nativity of Nephthys (Egyptian Goddess of Love)
Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
Radio Commercial Day
Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day
Russian Germans Day (Germany)
Scientific American Day
Significant Historical Events Day
Tan Suit Day
Watermelon Day (French Republic)
World Day of Turners Syndrome
Food & Drink Celebrations
National Cheese Sacrifice Day
National Cherry Turnover Day
National Red Wine Day
Stuffed Green Bell Peppers Day
Subway Sandwich Day
4th & Last Monday in August
Araw ng mga Bayani (National Heroes’ Day; Philippines) [Last Monday]
August/Summer Bank Holiday (UK) [Last Monday]
International Day of Cyber Attack Ceasefire [Last Monday]
Liberation Day (Hong Kong) [Last Monday]
Motorist Consideration Monday [Monday of Be Kind to Humankind Week]
Notting Hill Carnival (UK) [Last Monday & day before]
Social Justice Day (Antarctica) [4th Monday]
Independence Days
Holy Empire of Reunion (Declared; 1997) [unrecognized]
Luana (Declared; 2019) [unrecognized]
Moldova (from USSR; 1991)
Ohio Empire (Declared; 2008) [unrecognized]
Feast Days
Alexander of Constantinople (Christian; Saint)
Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Abkhazia)
Augustine of Hippo (Christian; Saint) [brewers] *
Ayyankali Jayanti (Kerala, India)
Constant Troyon (Artology)
Edmund Arrowsmith (Christian; Saint)
Edward Burne-Jones (Artology)
Feast of the Mother of God (Georgia, Macedonia, Serbia)
Festival for Luna (Ancient Rome)
Festival for Sol (Ancient Rome)
Festival of the Neon Revolution
First Onam (Rice Harvest Festival; Kerala, India)
Frank Gorshin Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Hermes of Rome (Christian; Saint)
Julian (Christian; Saint)
Junipero Serra (Christian; Saint)
Marimba (Virgin’s Assumption; Georgia)
Mariotte (Positivist; Saint)
Media Aestas III (Pagan)
More Rum Day (Pastafarian)
Moses the Black (Christian; Saint)
Uncle Norton the Elephant (Muppetism)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]
Umu Limnu (Evil Day; Babylonian Calendar; 40 of 60)
Premieres
Animal Crackers (Film; 1930)
Cain's Jawbone, by E. Powys Mathers (Novel/Puzzle; 1934)
Come Clean, by Puddle of Mudd (Album; 2001)
The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas (Novel; 1844)
Do the Evolution, by Pearl Jam (Animated Music Video; 1998)
54 (Film; 1998)
Flying Leathernecks (Film; 1951)
Gallipoli (Film; 1981)
Get Rich Quick Porky (WB LT Cartoon; 1937)
Honeymoon in Vegas (Film; 1992)
I Have a Dream, by Martin Luther King Jr. (Speech; 1963)
Let’s Get It On, by Marvin Gaye (Album; 1973)
Lohengrin, by Richard Wagner (Opera; 1850)
Mary of Scotland (Film; 1936)
Mickey’s Follies (Disney Cartoon; 1929)
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (TV Series; 1993)
Narcos (TV Series; 2015)
The New Mutants (Film; 2020)
Perri (Disney Film; 1957)
Personal, 19th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2014)
Phineas and Verb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (Animated Film; 2020)
Private Lessons (Film; 1981)
Q. Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!, by Devo (Album; 1978)
Rope (Film; 1948)
Smile, by Katy Perry (Album; 2020)
Song of the Thin Man (Film; 1947)
Studio 54 (Film; 1998)
Tease for Two (WB LT Cartoon; 1965)
Travelling Without Moving, by Jamiroquai (Album; 1996)
The Truth About Mother Goose (Disney Cartoon; 1957)
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (Film; 1992)
Victoria (TV Series; 2016)
Walk This Way by Aerosmith (Song; 1975)
Yankee Doodle Bugs (WB LT Cartoon; 1954)
Today’s Name Days
Adelinde, Aline, Augustin (Austria)
Augustin, Tin (Croatia)
Augustýn (Czech Republic)
Augustinus (Denmark)
August, Gustav, Kustas, Kustav, Kusti, Kusto (Estonia)
Tauno (Finland)
Augustin, Elouan (France)
Adelinde, Aline, Augustin, Vivian (Germany)
Damon (Greece)
Ágoston (Hungary)
Agostino, Ermete (Italy)
Auguste, Guste, Ranna (Latvia)
Augustinas, Patricija, Steigvilė, Tarvilas (Lithuania)
Artur, August (Norway)
Adelina, Aleksander, Aleksy, Augustyn, Patrycja, Sobiesław, Stronisław (Poland)
Augustín (Slovakia)
Agustín (Spain)
Fatima, Leila (Sweden)
Agustin, August, Augusta, Augustina, Austen, Austin, Austina, Austyn, Gus, Gustava, Gustavo (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 240 of 2024; 125 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 1 of week 35 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Coll (Hazel) [Day 21 of 28]
Chinese: Month 7 (Geng-Shen), Day 13 (Wu-Wu)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 11 Elul 5783
Islamic: 11 Safar 1445
J Cal: 30 Hasa; Nineday [30 of 30]
Julian: 15 August 2023
Moon: 92%: Waxing Gibbous
Positivist: 16 Gutenberg (9th Month) [Mariotte]
Runic Half Month: Rad (Motion) [Day 1 of 15]
Season: Summer (Day 68 of 94)
Zodiac: Virgo (Day 7 of 32)
Calendar Changes
Rad (Motion) [Half-Month 17 of 24; Runic Half-Months] (thru 9.9)
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I just watched Get Rich Quick Porky (1937)
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Holidays 8.28
Holidays
Bow Tie Day
Crackers Over the Keyboard Day
Criminal Appreciation Day
Crumbs Between the Keys Day
Dream Day Quest and Jubilee
828 Day
Emerati Women’s Day (UAE)
Emmett Till Day
End of the Fairy Tale Day
Giving Black Day (a.k.a. Give 828)
Gone-ta-Pott Day [every 28th]
Green Shirt Guy Day
I Have a Dream Day
International Read Comics in Public Day
Manifest 828 Day
Mariamoba (Republic of Georgia)
National Bow Tie Day
National Grandparents Day (Mexico)
National Over It Day
National Power Rangers Day
National Thoughtful Day
Nativity of Nephthys (Egyptian Goddess of Love)
Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
Radio Commercial Day
Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day
Russian Germans Day (Germany)
Scientific American Day
Significant Historical Events Day
Tan Suit Day
Watermelon Day (French Republic)
World Day of Turners Syndrome
Food & Drink Celebrations
National Cheese Sacrifice Day
National Cherry Turnover Day
National Red Wine Day
Stuffed Green Bell Peppers Day
Subway Sandwich Day
4th & Last Monday in August
Araw ng mga Bayani (National Heroes’ Day; Philippines) [Last Monday]
August/Summer Bank Holiday (UK) [Last Monday]
International Day of Cyber Attack Ceasefire [Last Monday]
Liberation Day (Hong Kong) [Last Monday]
Motorist Consideration Monday [Monday of Be Kind to Humankind Week]
Notting Hill Carnival (UK) [Last Monday & day before]
Social Justice Day (Antarctica) [4th Monday]
Independence Days
Holy Empire of Reunion (Declared; 1997) [unrecognized]
Luana (Declared; 2019) [unrecognized]
Moldova (from USSR; 1991)
Ohio Empire (Declared; 2008) [unrecognized]
Feast Days
Alexander of Constantinople (Christian; Saint)
Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary (Abkhazia)
Augustine of Hippo (Christian; Saint) [brewers] *
Ayyankali Jayanti (Kerala, India)
Constant Troyon (Artology)
Edmund Arrowsmith (Christian; Saint)
Edward Burne-Jones (Artology)
Feast of the Mother of God (Georgia, Macedonia, Serbia)
Festival for Luna (Ancient Rome)
Festival for Sol (Ancient Rome)
Festival of the Neon Revolution
First Onam (Rice Harvest Festival; Kerala, India)
Frank Gorshin Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)
Hermes of Rome (Christian; Saint)
Julian (Christian; Saint)
Junipero Serra (Christian; Saint)
Marimba (Virgin’s Assumption; Georgia)
Mariotte (Positivist; Saint)
Media Aestas III (Pagan)
More Rum Day (Pastafarian)
Moses the Black (Christian; Saint)
Uncle Norton the Elephant (Muppetism)
Lucky & Unlucky Days
Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]
Umu Limnu (Evil Day; Babylonian Calendar; 40 of 60)
Premieres
Animal Crackers (Film; 1930)
Cain's Jawbone, by E. Powys Mathers (Novel/Puzzle; 1934)
Come Clean, by Puddle of Mudd (Album; 2001)
The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas (Novel; 1844)
Do the Evolution, by Pearl Jam (Animated Music Video; 1998)
54 (Film; 1998)
Flying Leathernecks (Film; 1951)
Gallipoli (Film; 1981)
Get Rich Quick Porky (WB LT Cartoon; 1937)
Honeymoon in Vegas (Film; 1992)
I Have a Dream, by Martin Luther King Jr. (Speech; 1963)
Let’s Get It On, by Marvin Gaye (Album; 1973)
Lohengrin, by Richard Wagner (Opera; 1850)
Mary of Scotland (Film; 1936)
Mickey’s Follies (Disney Cartoon; 1929)
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (TV Series; 1993)
Narcos (TV Series; 2015)
The New Mutants (Film; 2020)
Perri (Disney Film; 1957)
Personal, 19th Jack Reacher book, by Lee Child (Novel; 2014)
Phineas and Verb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (Animated Film; 2020)
Private Lessons (Film; 1981)
Q. Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!, by Devo (Album; 1978)
Rope (Film; 1948)
Smile, by Katy Perry (Album; 2020)
Song of the Thin Man (Film; 1947)
Studio 54 (Film; 1998)
Tease for Two (WB LT Cartoon; 1965)
Travelling Without Moving, by Jamiroquai (Album; 1996)
The Truth About Mother Goose (Disney Cartoon; 1957)
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (Film; 1992)
Victoria (TV Series; 2016)
Walk This Way by Aerosmith (Song; 1975)
Yankee Doodle Bugs (WB LT Cartoon; 1954)
Today’s Name Days
Adelinde, Aline, Augustin (Austria)
Augustin, Tin (Croatia)
Augustýn (Czech Republic)
Augustinus (Denmark)
August, Gustav, Kustas, Kustav, Kusti, Kusto (Estonia)
Tauno (Finland)
Augustin, Elouan (France)
Adelinde, Aline, Augustin, Vivian (Germany)
Damon (Greece)
Ágoston (Hungary)
Agostino, Ermete (Italy)
Auguste, Guste, Ranna (Latvia)
Augustinas, Patricija, Steigvilė, Tarvilas (Lithuania)
Artur, August (Norway)
Adelina, Aleksander, Aleksy, Augustyn, Patrycja, Sobiesław, Stronisław (Poland)
Augustín (Slovakia)
Agustín (Spain)
Fatima, Leila (Sweden)
Agustin, August, Augusta, Augustina, Austen, Austin, Austina, Austyn, Gus, Gustava, Gustavo (USA)
Today is Also…
Day of Year: Day 240 of 2024; 125 days remaining in the year
ISO: Day 1 of week 35 of 2023
Celtic Tree Calendar: Coll (Hazel) [Day 21 of 28]
Chinese: Month 7 (Geng-Shen), Day 13 (Wu-Wu)
Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)
Hebrew: 11 Elul 5783
Islamic: 11 Safar 1445
J Cal: 30 Hasa; Nineday [30 of 30]
Julian: 15 August 2023
Moon: 92%: Waxing Gibbous
Positivist: 16 Gutenberg (9th Month) [Mariotte]
Runic Half Month: Rad (Motion) [Day 1 of 15]
Season: Summer (Day 68 of 94)
Zodiac: Virgo (Day 7 of 32)
Calendar Changes
Rad (Motion) [Half-Month 17 of 24; Runic Half-Months] (thru 9.9)
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hi! can u make a blurb where famous!y/n and boyfriend!harry is doing a wired autocomplete interview??? :)
WIRED INTERVIEW
a very short and sweet blurb!
send me your requests here!
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
“ I am Y/N L/N”
“ I am Harry Styles and we are doing the Wired Autocorrect Interview!”
“Is autocomplete, not autocorrect.” Y/N whispers to her boyfriend, still looking at the camera, trying not to laugh.
“That is exactly what I said, love. Terrible hearing, she has” Harry corrects himself as Y/N imitates the blinking man meme, faking being hurt by his comment. He leans to the staff who is off the frame to get the board filled with the questions. “Thank you.”
Y/N and Harry were dating for about 4 years now, yet, they just came out as couple a year ago. It was in their best interests in keeping it as quiet as possible and both were happy in doing it, preferring to keep everything in closed door. However, after years of relationship, the whole faking not-being-madly-in-love got tiring and they both thought it was time to inform the public as things were getting more serious over time.
It started simple, some small statements when Harry was promoting his songs and when you did some quick mentions at interviews when promoting your new movie with the cast. Naturally, things escalated and now you two were comfortable in doing interviews together.
“Does Harry Styles..own a book.” Harry reads out loud, staying quiet after it and scratches the back of is neck. “Hmm, thank you for being concerned about my reading and yes, I do own a couple.”
“He is a 26 year old boy who does know how to read.” Y/N adds as she scrapes the paper that covers his next question. “Is Harry Styles rich? Well, are you, darling?”
“In love and friendships.” Harry smiles to the camera, pointing at it with his two index fingers.
“Is Harry Styles...pregnant?”
“That is because of my winter tummy? How rude but yes, I am pregnant.” Harry says with a serious tone, rubbing his belly.
“Just so everybody knows, I am the father.” Y/N rubs Harry’s tummy too. “ We are expecting sextuples, they are due to Ju—“
“Sextuples? Are you kidding?” Harry interrupts changing his focus to Y/N’s smiley face. “ Knocked me up pretty good, huh?”
Before Y/N answers, Harry dramatically throws the board out of the frame — the producers give them a green light to throw it before they started to film— yelling ‘Next!’.
“What languages does Y/N speak? I can answer that for you”
“Go ahead then”
“She speaks English, Spanish and sarcasm.” Y/N scoffs, putting her hands on her hips, staring at her boyfriend with the are-you-serious-Harry eyes as he likes to call it.
“Fun fact, Harry speaks English and bad jokes.” At that, his mouth falls open as she laughs.
“That’s not true! You love my jokes!”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, mate.” Harry pouts and Y/N ignores it, scrapping the paper. But it is safe to say that she loves them indeed. “ Is Y/N...in love?”
Harry puts his elbow on the arm rest, placing his head on his clenched fist, awaiting for his girlfriend’s answer. Y/N mimics his movements, staring to his eyes before answering.
“Yes, I am deeply in love with my cat. She is adorable, love her to bits.”
“What about me?” Harry asks, pouting once more.
“Yeah, yeah, you too. You are a close second.”
“Kinda love Porky more too. She is a wonderful kitty, very cuddly.” This time Harry takes the paper off to reveal the next question. “ Is Y/N married? She better be because I am not giving birth to seven children without a ring”
“Is six, Harry! Six!” Y/N screams, face-palming herself.
This was going to be a long interview.
#harry styles drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles imagine#harry styles concept#harry styles au#harry styles one shot#harry styles smut#boyfriend harry#harry styles angst
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Layout drawing for Get Rich Quick Porky (1937).
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what’s daffy’s favorite and least favorite projects he’s done while working with warner bros?
Favourite - Duck Dodgers. [A show starring him and with no Bugs? Heaven! Daffy's just WAITING for WB to re-launch it...]
Least Favourite - The Looney Tunes Show. When Warner Bros's said they wanted to do a kind of 'friends' thing, with touches of romance and leaning more towards adult theme [but not being to explicit, seeing as it was Boomerang] Daffy envisioned something very different.
Something like, maybe he would be portrayed as something more of a ladies duck [Daffy's dream!] and he would be in his 'greedy, get-rich-quick' persona, who would be trying to get rich and fail in lots of humorous ways.
Bugs would be his old college pal who Daffy moved in with because his [Daffy's] latest scheme failed and Bugs wanted a roommate because he wanted a bit of extra income. [You can charge people rent in America, can't you?]
From there hijinks would occur revolving around Bugs and Daffy's pursuing of the girls in the house opposite [played by Lola and Tina/Mellissa], unfortunately though they had competition on the form of Sam and Foghorn Leghorn. Sam being a well-known football/soccer player and Foghorn being a well-known Baseball player. Lola is not interested in ether of them, but Tina quite likes flirting with Foghorn.
Re-occurring cast would be Barnyawd Dawg [Pub Landlord of their frequent haunt.]
Elmer Fudd [The manager of a exclusive country club that Daffy's always trying to scheme his way into. It would turn out, after a particularly embarrassing fail, that Bugs was already a member and could put in a good word for Daffy]
Porky and Petunia Pig - the next door neighbours who seemingly have good luck all the time, taken to comic extremes. [Winning expensive cars all the time. On frequent holidays. Just happens to win on scratchcards a lot.] Porky, at first, puts up with Daffy because he's friends with Bugs, but eventually comes to become friends with him on his own merits. Ditto for Petunia.
The other LT's would appear as and when needed.
So yea, with that idea in mind, he was disappointed with what ended up actually happening, but did his best to have fun with it.
#Looney Tunes Headcanons#Looney Tunes#Daffy Duck#Daffy Duck Headcanons#Bugs Bunny#the looney tunes show#What TLTS should have been like#Alternate Version#never gonna happen#Elmer Fudd#foghorn leghorn#Barnyawd Dawg#Porky Pig#Petunia pig#Porky and Petunia#Duck Dodgers
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OC Master List
Obviously if you’ve followed me for any length of time you will know that I have a really nasty habit of making characters of my own design. I love to be creative and make my own realities through this medium. It’s actually one of my favorite things to do. I’ve wanted to make this for a while because my friends sometimes get confused as to which OC that I’m talking about so this is the master list for everybody.
My Hero Academia: If I have any fandom where most of my OCs go it’s into the MHA fandom. I have currently five OCs in this show so let’s talk about them one by one.
Mitsuki Haruka: My first OC that I truly ever created and invented with the knowledge of doing it. Mitsu has a really special place in my heart because she was the first and the one that I work for the most in this fandom usually. Her comfort character is Katara from Avatar The Last Airbender. Her quirk is water. She can pretty much do anything with water. She can heat it, freeze it, glide around on it, whip it out of her and use something that I stole from Fairy Tail called waterlock where she locks a person inside of a body of water. Her canon partner is Tenya Iida my favorite square boi. I often talk about her with her adopted brother and my amazing friend @bio-hazard0us OC Kaku.
Violet Katsuragi: Violet is one that I don’t really talk about in great detail a whole lot because every time I try to I cry. Her family is a massive shit show and I always feel so bad for making it that way. I’m always like “My poor baby who is making you suffer so much-oh yeah it’s me sorry about that babe.” She is my “villain” OC. She is really only a member of the league so that she can stay close with her boyfriend and love of her life Twice (Jin). Her quirk is that she can control the plant tattoos that are on her arms by summoning them and using them in combat. Her comfort character is Mary Poppins because it reminds her of her older brother. Violet is an actress for a local community theater once the league disbands quietly. She and Jin also adopt Toga (a younger member of the villain league) as their own daughter to give her a second chance at life. I love her even though she’s the saddest backstory one that I have to work with it’s also the most fulfilling when I write fluff for her.
Shizuko Kanade: Another absolute baby with a crappy home life. I’m sorry that I made it that way hun but it gets better for you I promise. Shizuko is my quirkless OC and my genius tech girl. She lives below her best friend and brother in arms Denki Kaminari and they’ve been best friends since they moved into the same building together. Her comfort character is PJ from the Goof franchise especially from Goof Troop that was her favorite show to watch with her aunt when she was growing up. She starts off really chubby, the cute kind of chubby but starts drastically dropping pounds in order for her parents to love and accept her. When they still don’t Denki has enough and talks to his mom and they decide to call the police and foster Shizuko into their own home. They get a restraining order against her biological family and my best girl gets a happy home. She wants to be the first quirkless hero to rely completely on support items. (She is also partnered with Shoji if anybody is curious.)
Arashi Mitsuha: This absolute baby, I love them. Ari is my gender fluid OC that I made who started off as just your everyday cis male but then I had an idea that spiraled from Ari in eyeliner to Ari in a skirt and then we wound up with the gender fluid absolute icon that they are today. Ari has a weather quirk. Basically anything involving weather they can do it with their eyes closed. Thunder and lightning storms, tsunamis, tornados but also snow and sunshine. They’re really OP and hella versatile it makes it more fun to write their fighting style. I paired them up with Denki in your stereotypical meet-cute scenario. In terms of backstory they just had a really bad ex-boyfriend before Denki came into their life like a literal speeding bullet. Their comfort character is Hedwig from Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
Litzy Diaz: My last and FINAL MHA OC I promise you. Litzy is from a small town in Mexico and transferred to UA giving herself a second chance to start anew with her new friends and away from her toxic parents. She is fostered by Aizawa and Present Mic who have already adopted Shinsou so they are brother and sister in every way but blood. Her quirk was very heavily inspired by my love of Dr Facilier in Princess And The Frog. She can control shadows, shadow travel through things such as walls and she can control her friends on the other side basically demons from the underworld. Present Mic sees her as his long lost daughter and basically worships the ground that she walks on. He loves her more than anything in the entire world. Her comfort character is Miguel from Coco and La Muerte from Book Of Life. Her canon partner is Juso from Class B.
DuckTales: I only have one DuckTales OC (thank the Gods) but she’s very special and important to me. I love the reboot of this show even if I’m way the hell behind on it (I promise I’ll catch up after Gravity Falls Donuts!!).
Sabrina Duck: Sabrina is a sister for Huey, Dewey and Louie!! She shares the title of oldest quadruplet by thirty seconds and often took over the motherly role for her siblings when their mom wasn’t there. She was always reminding them to do their homework, regulated who got TV time and who was in charge of the delegated family movie night. This resulted in a rift between her and her brother Dewey that only got bigger overtime. School was really hard for her to deal with. She was never the best at paying attention during her classes and had a really bad sensory overload one day. She was really close with her uncle Ludwig though and he offered to teach her. They have a really special bond between the two of them that I love writing for. Sabrina was the person that grounded Ludwig to not think up as many crazy inventions. She also knits!! She loves knitting sweaters for her friends and family around the holidays. I am partnering her up with Gosalyn eventually.
Star Vs The Forces Of Evil: To be perfectly honest with you guys, I have not seen the entire show. It’s really hard for me to get into it. Because when you only really love one character in the entire thing it gets harder to keep coming back for more. Especially because in the first two seasons you don’t get a whole lot of him and I’m stuck on season 2.
Allania (Nia) Alvez: I feel like out of all my OCs I am the most like Nia. She’s a half elf-half mortal princess that isn’t allowed to live with the elves so they sent her to live with her mortal father. Her dad’s run a bakery in town and she works there as an assistant baker when she isn’t preparing for her next drag show. She grew up in this family full of love and acceptance and grew excited about one day having a relationship just like her parents. Her first brush with love left her broken by the side of the road even though no relationship came of it. A lot of my feelings for my ex-best friend went into Nia’s personality. However, there is a bright side! Of course with every one of my fics so far there is a bright side that comes in the form of my favorite character Tom who gives her the love that she deserves.
Animaniacs: Of course this is me we’re talking about so there has to be an Animaniacs OC on this list! This is actually the first character that I ever made on my own free will! She has changed a lot throughout the years that I’ve had her mostly because my tastes have changed.
Elizabeth Martin: Lizzy is a member of the scene crowd, I was inspired by my best friend and what she wears every day. For the modern au that I have her in her and Yakko are dance partners in a musical theater style school. For the regular fic she’s cast as his love interest. I love this girl so much. To me she is everything that I want to be even now. Her strength and confidence to get through every situation, even the ones that she is afraid to deal with speaks volumes to how I want to be one day. One of the few things that we have in common is that we both did martial arts! She stuck with it for longer than me though and is currently a green belt in kempo karate. Her favorite musical is Fun Home because it’s the one that she relates to the most through the eyes of the mother Helen Beckdal. Her parents basically had three other kids and went here take care of these it’s your job. Every time I listen to Days and Days I think of how much she had to go through just to make sure that everything was going according to plan.
Looney Toons: Who doesn’t love Looney Toons?! We all have our personal favorite characters, mine has always been the schemer Daffy Duck. I thought that he was a combination of the funniest and had the most personality other than Bugs. I love his antics and get rich quick schemes and I thought to myself one day “How cute would it be if he had an adorable little niece who loved space?!”
Daniella Duck: This began the creation of one of the best ideas that I personally think that I have ever had. So Daniella is the only one out of all my OCs that does not have aspergers. Instead I looked at Daffy’s elongated tongue and was like “Hm something inside of me thinks that she would have down-syndrome...” At first she was just going to have a little bit of her uncle’s speech impediment but this is what happens when I get ideas when I’m working out. Daniella lives with her uncle on the warner movie lot in the show fic. I love writing for her and her uncle’s relationship because it’s soft Daffy (it’s very similar to writing for soft Grunkle Stan and I LOVE BOTH). Daniella also has an uncle figure in Bugs and Porky of course. I gave her canon partner to Wakko because I just thought that they would be SO cute together. He helps her work on her self confidence and working her way around her speech impediment. In the modern au that I have she has a brother Ding Dong (@oo-fabooo02 OC). She goes to school with Wakko, loves Ed, Ed N Eddy, helps her uncle on his podcast because Daffy is a comedian in this au and she helps him write his script for the episodes. She loves space in both aus but in the modern au she actually is able to become an astronaut!
Teen Titans\Promare: I have the same OC for both Teen Titans and for Promare but she’s more for Promare right now. What started off as just a happy au that she could have with her comfort character from the TT fic sort of spiraled into this whole other au.
Keiko Katsuragi\Fotia in the Promare au: Keiko is a really special OC in my heart. She’s adorable, fun loving, sweet and just an all around amazing girl. In the Teen Titans au she’s a lot more damaged emotionally. Her father gave her powers through a serum that she didn’t even really want (she thought that he was joking) and it caused her house to burn down. When she left Japan she was homeless until the Teen Titans found her. Keiko is a member of the decora community and loves cutesy, girly things (especially Pokémon, Sanrio characters, Spongebob, Strawberry Shortcake and Care Bears). Her collection of stuffed animals is immense and intimidating. Her canon partner is Beast Boy. I’ve had Keiko since I was six and only just started to refine her and make her into an official OC. Promare au Keiko still has BB as her partner but I made him into a fire fighter for this au to work. She started off in a poly relationship with Meis and Gueira but I changed my mind. Writing the Promare au gave me the chance to make a happy unscarred Keiko. Her comfort character in this au is Dot.
Princess And The Frog: If you forced me to pick a favorite Disney movie this one would be one of the two answers that I gave to you. I have a very big soft spot for this movie in particular. It is one that changed my life when I sat there as a young child and watched the movie unfold in front of my very eyes. Every time I rewatch this movie I am reminded of how much of my childhood I spent loving hand drawn Disney animation.
Rhiannon (Rae): Rae is the daughter of Tiana and Naveen. I named her after Raymond the firefly. If you knew what a big comfort character my favorite cajun firefly is for me and my mom then her name will come as no surprise. She is the baker and pastry chef for Tiana’s Palace. Rae is a multi musically talented young girl she plays the ukulele, trumpet and accordion. When I first started writing for her I knew that I wanted her to be bisexual. So I turned to one of my favorite animation fun facts that I know. When Jim Cummings was first auditioning for Raymond they had him sing a song. This song that he sang is by Leon Russel and it’s called Cajun Love Song. It is also the song that he sings when he is untying Tiana and Naveen’s tongues. The song is about a girl named Alice. And part of my brain that makes these connections went perfect! That’ll be the name of her girlfriend. Rae is mostly a daddy’s girl. The relationship between her and Naveen was really what helped me refine her personality. Her comfort character is Rabbit from Winnie The Pooh. She is a gardener in her free time and that’s where she gets a majority of her fresh fruits and vegetables for her pastries and desserts. She isn’t really the best at being a princess. In fact she hates when she has to go and visit Maldonia. She doesn’t feel at home there and they won’t let her cook or bake anything at all because it’s not seen as ladylike. This is when she mostly feels like something is wrong with her. Why can’t she just do this one seemingly simple thing for her dad? When he does so much for her why can’t she do this? She learns that even though she isn’t perfect she is so very much loved that it’s ridiculous. Her family loves her so much and they’re willing to move hell or high water for her to be comfortable.
Gravity Falls: My most recent obsession (I did not have cable when the original show was being released please don’t kill me). I have recently been binging this show on Disney+ and have just started the second season. I hope to be done with it within the next week or so because I love it so much. My favorite character so far is definitely Grunkle Stan. I love his growth and development from a power hungry greedy old man to somebody that clearly loves the kids that are put under his care. Watching his adorable relationship with mother and the father son relationship with Dipper is something that is really close to my heart.
Twilight Pines: My most recent OC!! Twilight is the older sister of Mabel and Dipper and has been visiting Grunkle Stan for years prior to the start of the show. She’s used to his money scheming antics by now but she still loves her favorite Grunkle. Growing up, Twilight had a nervous stutter. She was shy, nervous a lot, socially awkward and was never really the best at dealing with other people. This made her comfort character Piglet from Winnie The Pooh. Her stutter is still there but it’s gotten a lot better!! She spent the year before the show starts at drama camp trying to get over her stutter. While it’s not gone completely it was a lot of progress. She has a really strong relationship with her caretaker for the summer because of the years that she’s spent with him in the past. Up until Mabel went with her for the summer she thought that she would be the only niece in his heart. See, after Mabel was born she took up a lot of the attention. Everyone wanted to look at the cute one instead of the nervous one. It’s just the way that life is. But during the summer she got to spend it being the favorite relative of somebody. When she notices how close Mabel and Stan are getting that’s when she knows that it’s over. She was naive to ever think that somebody would pick her as the favorite. Not when Mabel existed alongside her. It’s not that she doesn’t love Mabel because she clearly does. It’s just that well sometimes she wants to be loved and appreciated by her parents instead of constantly being sidelined. That’s why her summers with her Grunkle were so important to her. It was just three months out of the year. But for those three months working at the Mystery Shack and having all kinds of chaotic fun were the highlight of her year. She has to learn that she has her own values too. One’s that while don’t oversell her sister are still her’s and they are still beautiful. She learns that her parents love and care about her just as much as her sister. It’s just hard to be a show stealer in this house let’s be honest. Twilight is a pansexual and her canon partner is Wendy.
#OC#my hero academia#DuckTales oc#Teen Titans oc#Promare oc#Princess and the frog#Gravity Falls#master list
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Termite Terrace Club - August 28th
1937 - Get Rich Quick Porky - Dir. Bob Clampett
1954 - Yankee Doodle Bugs - Dir. Friz Freleng
1965 - Tease for Two - Dir. Robert McKimson
#looney tunes#looneytwt#wb100#wb#warner bros#bugs bunny#porky pig#daffy duck#mac and tosh#mac and tosh gopher
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WS Chapter 37: Seasons Change
Previous Chapter
Masterpost
So anxiety’s been a real pain lately, but i”m not going to let it stop be from writing. I did get an ao3, though I’m just putting up LoL on there right now.
either way, another hermit meets the wanderers! Reminder that all of this was written at the beginning of s7, so this is before Keralis became stupid rich.
Red belongs to @theguardiansofredland
Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block (red teach me your waysplz)
“You keep disrespecting the magic, Grian, some day it’ll come back to haunt you.” Scar hums, still put off by Grian trying to get rid of the crystal he’s been giving him. These are priceless, and yet Grian finds so much joy in tossing them around like trash.
“Sure it will, Scar.” Grian chuckles, kicking the sand of the desert beach Iskall has laid claim to. Grian holds the rowboat over his head, rolling his eyes but smiling.
“You of all people should know not to challenge magic- you’re a magical creature yourself!” Scar turns around, putting his hands on his hips and jutting out his chin.
“Just get in the boat, Scar. You’ll ‘ave lots of time to berate Grian in there.” Stress points out, tossing her vessel into the water with relaxed ease. Avon sets down the fresh jungle boat carved for her and Ecto. Mumbo plops down his boat, looking at Red.
“Getting in?” He questions. They have just the right people to fill every boat.
“Red doesn’t need the boat.” Ecto chuckles.
“What do you-” Red’s holler cuts Mumbo off as he goes running into the Hermiatic sea, leaping into the warm waters. “Right, fish person.”
Red swims through the water, her streamline from cutting through the sea. Water rolls off her scales and skin, tossles her hair, and clings to her clothes. Welcoming the kipling back home. It’s a welcome return to her natural habitat, with dolphins squeaking and whistling to greet her and a curtain of tropical fish becoming a mosaic around her. But it feels like a hollow return. This isn’t her ocean. When she gets home, will it still look like this? Is it already destroyed by that Blu?
Red rubs her eyes, exhausted from everything that’s been happening. They were attacked, and Red was helpless as her friends were gravely injured. They managed to escape to this world, only to lose each other. The fear of losing Ecto and Avon, even for just a short amount of time is terrifying. What would he do without them now? Without Ecto’s keen observation skills, or Avon’s unrelenting determination.
He grabs hold of his backpack, surfacing quietly and watching the hermits and his friends. He sees Ecto, wounded across the back. He watches Avon’s hand grip her side, covered in bandages. Losing his friends would be just as bad as the knowledge that he may lose his family. His friends are his family. Red’s fingers run along the emerald eyes of the statue Scar gave him. The smooth gold and polished emerald have become a way for Red to calm down by rubbing it. Fred may be creepy, but he’s helped him through a lot.
Red swims up beside Scar and Grian’s boat, poking her head out and kicking her legs to keep up with them. “So where are we going? Do we need food? I’m really good at fishing, I really am.”
“Keralis lives on another shore of the Hermiatic sea, and he definitely should know where Xisuma is.” Grian answers.
“I would love some fish. I didn’t bring any more potatoes.” Scar chimes in, hearing his stomach growling at the mention of food.
“How many people live on this hermiatic sea?” Red questions. She feels like she’s met so many already, are there more out there?”
Grian taps his finger, letting go of his oar. “I think we’re twenty two strong this time around?”
Red’s eyes widen at the thought. So many people, all gathered together. Red isn’t sure she’s ever seen that many people apart from villages. But these guys definitely aren’t village folk. She dives back underwater, zipping ahead and snatching fish with her teeth and claws. She drops her catch off with Scar, leaving the freshly caught cod on his purple robe. She’s like a cat, leaving fishy surprises in all of the boats. Ecto and Avon know to protect themselves from a fish, but Mumbo can only whimper and groan as a scaley salmon is tossed into his lap.
The group of travelers follow the shoreline, watching the beach change to jungle, and jungle to savanna. Acacia trees sparsely cover the rolling, dry grass. But for the wanderers, it leaves a bad taste in their mouths. It reminds them of Blu, the whole reason why they’re here, why they aren’t continuing their journey to Red’s home. Avon tries to feel better by reminding herself that they can at least gather information while they're here. Learn more about who that person was.
“So...who is this person we’re going to see? To show us the way to the world wizard?” Ecto isn’t sure she likes how many people are joining in on this journey. Her fellow wanderers were already a handful to remember and keep track of. Adding in Grian and Scar, previous people she had come to know and trust, was about the most she could handle. But now she has to worry about this Iskall guy, Stress, and the creature they call Mumbo.
“His name is Keralis. He’s a master builder. Honestly sometimes he puts me to shame when it comes to house designs.” Grian states, pulling up to row beside Ecto and Avon.
“We may have locked him up like we did you guys as well.” Scar winces, offering an apologetic smile as everyone glares at him. Still some negative sentiments there. “I mean, when you see the man, you’ll understand why we thought it. He’s like...twenty percent eyeball and thirty percent mouth.”
“There’s his base. Or… at least his starter home.” Iskall points to the hillside near the water. Blue containers stack atop one another, and construction machines sit idle in the turned up dirt. A few villagers are hard at work in the construction zone, though they all stop and stare at the incoming strangers. When Avon draws close, the villagers back away. Even in another world, they still fear her. Even in another world, she’s still a monster. She can never escape it.
“Hello my beautiful friends! Oh, and some new faces!” Keralis leans out a window, waving his hands vigorously. He leans farther so that they can see him more, and loses balance out the window.
The band of hermits and wanderers all wince, the heavy thud of Keralis hitting the ground below the open window. Stress rushes over to help, but Keralis is back on his feet before she can grab his arms. He wipes dirt from his wide eyes and gives the crew a wide smile. “Aww man, I had a record going...three days without an accident.”
“Damn, that’s a pretty good record around here.” Iskall hums.
“Who are these guys? Beyond new friends?” Keralis creeps closer to the wanderers, his curiosity met with the same from Red. The two look at one another, sizing the opposite up before breaking out into giggles. Apparently both deemed the other a worthy friend.
“I’m Red, the tall one is Ecto and the scary one is Avon. Trust me they’re a lot nicer than they look. They’re awesome friends.” Red squeezes her friend’s hand.
“Ah, well welcome, welcome. I hope my friends have been treating you well while you’ve been in our world.” Keralis shakes hands with Red and waves to those that don’t seem interested in interacting physically.
“Oh, ah yeah about that…” Scar grimaces, hoping to pave over such a sensitive topic.
Unfortunately Grian beats him to it. “Scar thought they were aliens too. Locked the wanderers up in Area 77 too.”
Keralis’s eyes and smile freeze, becoming cold as he turns his head from the wanderers to Scar. Keralis’s voice hisses through his teeth, dripping with anger. He still holds a bit of a grudge. “Did he now?”
“Whoa, hey we all cleared it up, right? We’re all friends now.” Scar backs off of Keralis, knowing the man can be particularly vicious if he wants to be. Behind those bug eyes and agape mouth is a killer. He’s a master at Head Hunt.
“Scar let me pet his cats!” Red coos, and luckily for Scar her cheery attitude towards him seems to be enough to quell Keralis’s blade.
“Alright, alright. New world, new leaf.” Keralis pulls off his helmet, tousling his hair free from the yellow safety hat. “What can I do to help you guys? Wanna buy a book?”
“Actually, we were lookin’ fer some info. Do you know where Xisuma is based?” Stress rubs her neck. She actually could use another mending book, but she isn’t carrying the diamonds on this journey.
“You want to see Bee-shwamy? What fore?” Keralis tips his head, sitting on a barrel next to his heavy work machinery. He was just with him the other day.
“He may have information that our friends here need.” Grian fills.
“He’s the smartest guy in the world when it comes to general facts of life. Man’s a wizard for a reason.” Iskall adds. “Sorry Scar...a real wizard.”
Ecto steps forward, bumping a mumbling Scar out of the way. “We were attacked in our own world by these creatures from the nether. They destroyed my home.”
“You mean pigmen?” Keralis frowns, looking over the hillside to see if Porky’s there. He didn’t think pigmen were that organized.
“He wasn’t a pigman.” The winged one, Avon, hisses. “He could talk, and he definitely wasn’t zombified or anything.”
Keralis rubs his chin. He has no clue about anything of that sort. The only person he could think that may know more is either Xisuma...or perhaps Tango. “That’s definitely some strange news. We should get to see Bee-shwamey to get this sorted out. Follow me!”
Keralis hops off his boxes, waving for the team to trail after him. Across the grasslands, another jungle rises. Trees with high canopies and vibrant leaves brush in the dry savanna wind at the interface between plains and forest. Avon is quick to grab onto both Ecto and Red. She’s not losing them again. If she had a lead, she’d put them on it.
The other hermits stick close as well. All of them have gotten lost in their own jungle, it would be so much worse in a jungle they have no knowledge of. Keralis, however, has no trouble hopping over short oak trees and swinging through the vines. His cheeky grin never falters, constantly wide eyed and taking everything in. Observing every inch of the world around him.
The jungle doesn’t stop, even when construction starts. Vines and trees creep around the white concrete, and pathways arch over the leaves below. The forest is as much a part of the construction as the scaffolding. Just as much a part of the build as the chests and lighting. Somehow, the sleek, futuristic style perfectly blends with the chaotic, ancient patterns of nature. Whoever has built this is in tune with nature.
“Oh hello there friends.” Xisuma waves, tangled up in vines that he has gotten caught in while flying. His pockets are filled with jungle saplings, clumps of dirt falling from the roots and across his mask. He spits out a pebble. “What can I do ya for?”
#hermitcraft#wandering stars#hermitblr#ecto#avon#red#mumbo jumbo#grianmc#gtwscar#keralis#stressmonster101#iskall85#minecraft#mineblr#mcsona#minesona#writing#writeblr
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Edinburgh to Boston - Chapter 9 - Snow Day
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Hello all, Sorry for the delay getting this chapter out there. Real life some times gets in the way. This includes technology as my hard drive died. I didn’t lose much, most of what is really important was able to be salvaged.
I finally got around to including links to the other chapters, so anyone who has not read them all will be able to find them if they want.
Has anyone noticed that Jamie has not called Claire Sassenach in eight chapters? Well, that will be rectified now. You don’t know how hard it was not to call her that all this time.
If there are any questions, comments, or thoughts please don’t hesitate to let me know. I can only learn from what you all say. Respectfully, please.
I do need to thank my beta @curlsgetdemgurls reading this and giving me the courage to post this. You are the best. Chapter 10 is underway. I have no idea when it will be done, but there is a Chapter 10. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Without further delay, I give you:
Edinburgh to Boston
Chapter 9
Snow Day
Jamie and Claire sat at the table by the window, enjoying their breakfast. Jamie attacked his bowl of parritch, mixed berries, and honey with the ravenous appetite of a starving wolf who just happened across a carcass.
“Nuthin’ like a healthy bowl of parritch to start the day,” said Jamie, giving a withering look at Claire’s breakfast choices of fried eggs, bacon, and toast slathered with butter and jam.
“Well, Fraser, when in America, eat like one,” she said while waving a delectable piece of crunchy fried pork in the air. “It happens to be quite good. Even though they have got this bacon thing all wrong. Not like the rashers we have at home. Still, it is delicious.” Popping the tasty morsel into her mouth, she rolled her eyes and groaned ecstatically.
Jamie’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at the remaining piece sitting on the plate, “Looks mostly like fat to me.” He reached over, snatching the ribbon of porkiness from her plate, considered it, and swiftly consumed it. “Hmm, fatty, salty, crispy, and smoky. ‘Tis good, but I wouldna want to eat it every day. Cannae be good for ye.”
Sighing and shaking her head, Claire leveled a look of exasperation at him. “Live a little will you? We’re on vacation!”
He let out a laugh, “Yer right, but there is no need to be unhealthy. As it is, I’ll no’ be going to the gym today. Hmm, mebbe I’ll just carry ye around instead,” he said smugly. Tilting his head to the side, he gave her body an appraising look, much like gazing upon the beauty of a perfect rose.
“What do ye weigh a leannan, about 8-9 stone? That’s no’ much. I’ll never get a decent workout just carrying ye around,” he smirked.
“Why thank you, I think. That is supposed to be a compliment, right? You don’t think I’m too thin do you?” Suddenly becoming self-conscious, she looked down at herself trying to figure out if she was too fat or too thin.
“Aye, it ‘tis and no yer not. I like ye just fine the way ye are.”
Jamie leaned back in his chair stretching out his long legs and taking a sip of his coffee.
“So, lass, what would ye like to do today?”
“Well, if you are worried about not getting your proper exercise, there are other forms of exercise that will raise your heart rate, you know,” Claire said as she cast a quick glance back toward the bed.
Jamie ignored this.
“I ken what we can do! Why dinna ye take me to some of yer favorite places ye liked to go when ye lived here?”
“I don’t know if that is a wise idea. Boston winters are very cold and I don’t think that either of us has appropriate clothes to go wandering about. Besides, I don’t know how many places are open today. Most people will be digging out.”
Getting up, Jamie went to rummage through his suitcase. Sure enough, he found his favorite forest green cable knit pullover, his black jeans, a pair of duck boots, and his down jacket.
“Weel, I’ll be damned. I dinna remember packing these. Check yer bag let’s see what you have in there.”
Claire opened her suitcase and found clothes suitable for outdoor activities. She found her favorite cashmere jumper in midnight blue and her woolen turtleneck sweater in deep rich wine. She also found her favorite black skinny jeans, a warm wooly hat and gloves, and her parka.
“I know I didn’t pack these. I’m sure of it.” Her eyebrows drew together in confusion as she considered how these clothes ended up in her bag.
“It doesna matter how they got there, yer clothes are here. Let’s get dressed. I shall leave the itinerary to ye.”
Claire’s breathing quickened. She began to nervously play with one her curls, twisting it around her finger, over and over. Truth be told, there was a certain amount of anxiety about leaving the room. She worried about dredging up old memories that she safely tucked away after ending her marriage to Frank. Least of all was the prospect of visiting places that held unpleasant memories. Most certainly she did not want to visit these places with Jamie. Fearing the possibility of a chance meeting with Frank gave her shivers. She concluded that the likelihood of a chance meeting would be remote as classes would be canceled. That would leave Frank free to shack up with some bimbo, er umm, a young woman all day.
“What’s amiss, lass? Ye look a bit peely-wally. Are ye alright?”
“Sorry?”
“Something is bothering ye. It’s written all over yer face. Ye ken ye can tell me anything.”
Jamie walked back to the chair by the window, pulling Claire along. He sat down and settled her on his lap.
“I dinna want ye to feel that ye need to tell me anything that ye canna, but I can see yer fair fashed over something. Mo nighean donn, tell me what’s bothering ye if ye can.” He raised his hand cupping her cheek and began to stroke his thumb over her cheekbone. Melting into the warmth of his hand, she relaxed.
“I wasn’t honest with you when I told you I slept well.”
She cleared her throat nervously, eyes darting around the room searching for something to focus on while gathering her thoughts.
“I, ah, had a nightmare about, ...well, it was about Frank. It left me feeling rather unsettled, to say the least.”
Her body language and voice were contradictions, outwardly appearing composed while her voice quavered with emotion. Describing her dream, she related how Frank tried to plant seeds of doubt and used her insecurities against her. The Scottish Barbarian and The English Rose. Insinuating she had a need for someone to dominate her. Jamie observed Claire as she told her story. Her face contorted with frustration, anger, shame; her eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I told…,” her voice cracked, “I told him that I love you and you love me. And, and that he should bugger off and not come back,” Claire said this with pride in her voice. “But he said he would come back when I called him. I don’t want to see him ever again, really I don’t. I’ll never call him back, never.” With that, Claire buried her face into Jamie’s shoulder crying shedding tears of outrage and irritation.
Jamie’s mouth drew together in a tight white line. His eyes burned with anger. That Englishman, that filthy sassenach bastard! How could he have the audacity to come into his bed between him and his woman upsetting her, trying to sow the seeds of doubt. He had no care for insults or slurs directed at him. He heard them before. But, Claire! She is kindness and goodness personified. If I ever meet him...
Jamie’s arms came around her, pulling her close to him. His strong hands rubbed her back in soothing circles. He spoke to her softly in the Gàidhlig, speaking words of comfort that had no meaning to Claire but spoke to her heart and soul.
Jamie cradled her close to his chest and gently stroked her hair, “I’ll let nay harm come to ye as long as I walk this earth. Dinna be afraid, a leannan, there is the two of us now.”
Claire nodded her head and sniffed.
Jamie’s hand reached under Claire’s chin, raising it up so that he could look onto her face. Her eyes were puffy, nose red and runny, and her cheeks were tear stained.
“Ye are so beautiful, mo chridhe,” Jamie said smiling. He took a serviette wiping Claire’s runny nose as he kissed away her tears.
She sniffed, “You must be blind. I’m really not sure you should be operating anymore. I’m sure I don’t look beautiful right now.”
“Yer beautiful to me always,” he said lovingly.
Jamie’s voice took on a more serious tone. “Claire, if ye dinna want to go out because yer worried that ye will run into Frank,” he growled saying the bastard’s name, “I dinna want you to do anything that will make ye uncomfortable. We could always find something else to do.” He waggled his eyebrows in an attempt at being suggestive.
“Ridiculous man,” she said with a smile in her voice, feeling so grateful to have found him.
Closing her eyes to aid her concentration, she considered Jamie’s suggestion carefully weighing each of the pros and cons.
How much longer will I give Frank power over me, to control me and my life? It’s been three years since we divorced and he still tries to make me insecure, belittle me. When will I remove myself from his grasp? It’s now or never. It’s time to choose. Time to take back what’s mine.
“NO! No, I won’t run and hide. Frank has run my life for far too long, and I’ll be damned if I let him continue. Let’s go see Boston, Jamie. We’ll make our own memories,” Claire said grinning.
“That’s my lass. Yer strong, brave, and fearless and I love ye for it.” Jamie gave her a resounding smack on the lips that left her breathless.
They quickly dressed and departed the room laughing, smiling with their fingers intertwined.
**************
Jamie and Claire stepped outside of the comfort of their hotel into the bitter cold and biting winds. In spite of being warmly dressed, the frigid temperature threatened to seep its way into the very marrow of their bones.
The sidewalks were barely passable despite the best efforts of man, machine, and salt. Icy patches dotted the landscape causing the lovers to slip and slide along the walkways. Jamie’s hand reached out taking Claire’s elbow to steady her. They climbed over mounds of grey city snow that sported an occasional yellow streak.
After walking for twenty minutes, they reached Boston Common, each sporting red runny noses and equally red cheeks.
“I’m beginning to think yer first suggestion to stay in bed all day was a good idea,” Jamie said with a smirk on his face, the steam of his breath escaping with each word.
“Do you want to turn back?” A look of concern written all over her face.
“Nah, I was concerned about ye, Sassenach.”
Claire stopped dead in her tracks. “Sassenach?! I know that word and it isn’t very nice. Isn’t that something derogatory to call me?” Her amber eyes narrowed glaring at him with unnerving thoroughness.
“In truth, it depends on who and how they are saying it. The word sassenach really means Englishman or English lady. At worst, it means outlander. I have always called ye Sassenach in my mind. Ye see I have always thought of ye as my English Lady. A woman of grace and refinement, a true Lady.”
With that, Jamie smiled placed his hand over his heart and made a courtly bow, “My Lady, I am at yer service.”
Giggling at the sight she decided to return the gesture. Bowing her head and spreading the skirt of her jacket, Claire curtsied, “My Lord.”
Jamie popped up like a jack-in-the-box.
“Who told ye?” he demanded.
Claire looked quizzically at Jamie, “Who told me wot?”
“That I am a Laird.”
“You’re a wot???” she gasped.
“I am Laird Broch Tuarach of Lallybroch Estate. My home. ‘Tis only an honorary title now, but it has been handed down in my family since the 18th century. Lallybroch is a working farm in the Highlands, ye ken. My sister Jenny and her husband Ian run it. Their five children live there too. But, technically it is mine as I retain the title and will pass it on to my son someday.”
“Hmm, do I have to curtsy every time I see you, my Laird?” Claire asked with a coy smile.
Laughing to herself, she wondered how the OR staff would react if they had to curtsy every time he came to do a case.
“Nay, I think we can dispense with the formalities if ye please,” Jamie said with a chuckle.
“Good. It’s awfully hard to curtsy in the bloody snow.”
“May I offer ye my arm my Lady as we stroll about on this fine cold day...for the sake of yer safety of course. I wouldna want ye to slip and fall injuring yerself.” His blue eyes, as blue as the cold clear sky, crinkled with mirth as he extended his arm for her to take.
Bobbing her head, and lowering her eyelashes demurely she said, “It would be my pleasure, my Laird,” and placed her hand in the crook of his elbow. Claire suddenly wondered why this felt like such a familiar thing to do.
Jamie tucked her hand securely in place pulling his arm and her hand closer to his body. He began to speculate why it felt like he had done this more times than he could remember. It felt natural, more like an everyday occurrence for them to walk like this.
A strong wind blew up around them, coating Claire from head to foot in a sheath of powdery snow crystals. The hair that peaked out from under her cap glistened, lashes sparkled with the tiny flakes that clung to them, and her clothes were enrobed in glittering flakes. She took on an otherworldly aura.
His mouth opened as he watched the swirling dust of snow float around her.
She must be one of the faes. No, not just a fae, but Queen of the Fae. For only the Queen could be so beautiful.
He stood there envisioning her in the finery befitting a Queen. A circlet of silvery moonbeams would adorn her head accentuating her mass of curls. Her lithe form draped in a diaphanous gown made of diamond dust while her feet were encased in slippers made from starlight.
He wanted to fall on his knees in worship, beg her to take him to her Queendom. He would become her Knight of the Realm, her Champion. With dirk and sword, he would do battle shielding her from harm. He would slay dragons, protect her from evil sorcerers, and safeguard her from malevolent creatures. As darkness envelops the earth, he would sleep at her feet sheltering and guarding her against the dangers that lurk in the blackness of night. She had cast a spell on him and he was happy to be under her power.
He heard the tinkling of her laughter, much like a wind chime, light and gentle in the breeze. Her eyes crinkled with merriment as a small buffy-brown bird landed on her shoulder. It hopped along coming closer to her ear merrily chirping. Claire raised her hand and stroked the downy head of the little bird speaking softly to it. Her hand went to her pocket and returned with a bit of her toast from breakfast. She opened her hand and the warbler flew onto her hand seized the bread and took wing.
Jamie stood in awe of the scene unfolding before him. “Is a wild bird so tame for her?!” The scene repeated itself several more times with birds flitting along her arm, singing and trilling to her. Each was tenderly stroked, given a bit of bread, then flew off to join its fellows. Her hand went to her pocket pulling out the remainder of the toast wrapped in the serviette. She tore the bread into bits scattering it on the snow. En masse a clan of the small birds gathered joyously chirping doing a demented dance around the bread, pecking at it.
Mary, Michael, and Bride, she is the Queen of the Fae!
Claire looked at him with a radiant smile.
For a split second, Jamie became irrationally afraid.
“How did ye do that, lass!? The birds, they seem so tame!”
“I don’t do anything, really. They just come. It’s been happening for a long time, ever since I was a little girl. It started not long after my parents died,” Claire said with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Sassenach, do ye want to tell me about it if ye can?” Jamie asked cautiously knowing her parents' death is a painful and sensitive area for her.
There was a moment of hesitation, then taking a deep breath to steel herself for the memories.
“As I told you after my parents deaths my uncle Lamb became my guardian. He was writing a book on the meaning of birds in different cultures. While he sat writing in his study, I would play in the garden. One day, not long after my arrival, I was playing with my plushy dog when a bird, a sparrow, flew down next to me. Its head turned side-to-side watching me. Then it began to sing one of the sweetest songs I had ever heard. I held out my hand and it hopped on, chirping madly while wildly flapping its wings as if it were a leaf caught in a maelstrom.”
Claire’s eyes clouded and her lip quivered while struggling to maintain her composure as the childhood memories beset her.
“I began to pet the bird and it quieted under my touch. It began to sing again, but this time soft and low. For a moment, I thought I heard my mother’s voice singing the lullaby she sang to me at bedtime.”
She gave Jamie a sidelong glance to see if he thought she was deranged. He stood there calm, placid, face expressionless, giving no hint to his inner thoughts.
“I started to cry and the bird flew off. I got up and ran into to tell Lamb what happened. He picked me up, put me on his lap, and cuddled me to his chest. After he wiped my tears, he told me that ancient Egyptians believed that sparrows carried the souls of the dead to heaven. Perhaps this one came to tell me that my parents were in heaven with God and the angels and I shouldn’t worry.”
A single tear ran down her cheek.
“I was happy that Momma and Daddy were in heaven, but I really didn’t understand all of what he was talking about. Later, as they continued to visit me, we talked about it again. Lamb told me that a Buddhist teacher he knew believed that a person in mourning is considered a very holy person. This holy state opens the mourner to experience things that are beyond the physical world and more receptive to the spiritual world. Lamb thought that was why I thought I heard my mother singing or my father’s laugh when the birds came. Grieving opened my heart to other possibilities.”
“Three months before you came,” she continued, “whenever I would walk Ginger in the park the birds would continue to visit. I began to hear another voice, a new one. It was deeper, rich, and very, very masculine. He would call my name, sometimes in passion and sometimes with love and laughter.” Giving him a quick sidelong look she finished her tale, “I know now that it was your voice I heard.”
Jamie startled at this revelation. Was it truly his voice or could it be the other’s voice calling out to her from across the centuries? He wondered if she was ready to hear about the Fraser Legend. No, he thought not just yet. He disliked withholding something from her but now was definitely not the right time.
Beginning to fidget, she moved her foot in the snow gouging out a divot with the heel of her boot. She felt the heat rising up to color her cheeks. She was afraid to look at Jamie fearing that she would see he truly thought her insane.
Neither spoke for a time. The only sound around them was the wind soughing through the leafless branches.
“Claire, look at me.” Jamie placed his fingers under her chin forcing her head up to look at him. She kept her eyes closed not able to bear the disdain she would see in his eyes for her.
“Mo ghràdh, look at me, please. I believe you. I dinna understand it, but I believe you.”
“How can you believe me when it sounds crazy even to me? Really, Jamie! I have often wondered if this...” Claire waved her hand toward the birds eagerly consuming the bread, “was nothing more than the imaginings of a sad and lonely child who grew up to become a sad and lonely adult searching for her lost parents and her lost home. A woman who is so desperate that she convinces herself that some sparrows hold the souls of her dead parents. Christ, Jamie!”
He looked at her, her glass face giving away her sense of loss, loneliness, and pain. “Sassenach,” he spoke gently to her as if she were a frightened child, “I am an educated man but I am also a Highlander born and bred. I do ken there are many a thing that is beyond our understanding. There are many tales of the highlands that still canna be explained. Why not this?” His eyebrow lifted in an inquiry.
“Can ye explain what happened to Robert Gordon? The man was clinically dead after 30 minutes of resuscitation no heartbeat, no breathing. Then all of a sudden the man sits up and starts talking. He told us everything that happened in that room, everything we said and did. He said he saw his wife and bairns calling and greetin’ for him. There was more for him to do he kent, so he decided to come back.”
“Yes, I remember.” Claire shuddered at the remembrance of the event. It still gave her chills to think about it.
“Can ye explain that? No, I dinna think so. There are things that are outside our ken. Why must ye explain yers? It just is. Dinna question it, especially when it makes ye happy to believe so.”
Her rational mind, the scientific part of her, rejected any possibility of this being true, but the little girl in her wanted, no needed to hold on to any chance that she might still have some connection to her family.
Claire’s eyes drifted down toward the snow. The clan of sparrows left, all except three. She sighed. It was always the same, three of the warblers always remained, two males and one female.
The birds stood there cocking their heads from side-to-side regarding Claire and Jamie. The female and one of the males flew up alighting on Claire’s shoulder. The female came close rubbing her feathery head against Claire’s cheek, softly cheeping to her. The male landed on her opposite shoulder gently pecked at her hair.
The more vocal male flew up landing on Jamie’s forearm giving him a level look. He began to chatter and chirp loudly hopping up his forearm with the determination of a sprinter moments away from the finish line.
His black birdy eye coldly glared while uttering piercing squawks of what seemed to be warning or admonition. The feathery wings spread wide fluttering frantically. This was one very agitated bird.
“If we are going to believe these creatures possess the souls of my family, I think he is my father and these two are my mother and uncle,” Claire said with a small smile.
“Aye, I think yer right, Sassenach.”
Jamie reached up took hold of both of Claire’s hands, linking them together.
“Sirs and Madam,” Jamie said with all solemnity, “I am James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, and I am deeply in love with yer daughter and niece. My intentions are honorable and I promise to see her safe, care for her and love her all the days of my life. I ask yer approval of our relationship.” He bowed his head in respect toward the feathery family.
In unison, their heads swiveled toward Claire questioning.
“I love him too. He fills my heart with love and joy. He takes away the emptiness. When I am with him it's as if the sun comes out on a cloudy day filling my life with light and warmth.”
The downy kinfolk flew around them coming to land on their joined hands singing sweet and mellow.
“I hope ye dinna mind, but I plan to kiss yer daughter.”
Their hands broke apart. Jamie raised his hands up to cup Claire’s face, “Before yer family, I love ye, Claire Beauchamp across all time.”
“I love you too, always and forever,” she sighed into his mouth.
He leaned forward and tenderly pressed his lips to hers. A kiss filled with so much love, tenderness, and promise.
His eyes crinkled and a smile lit his mouth, “Aye, I must love ye Sassenach, ye have me talking to the birds too.”
The little bird family took flight soaring high above the lovers and disappeared into the sky knowing their daughter and niece was well loved.
#edinburgh to boston#chapter 9#snow day#bacon and eggs#oatmeal#sassenach#boston common#queen of the fae#sparrows#laird broch tuarach#it's cold outside#thanks to my beta#curlsgetsdemgurls#Here Goes Nothing#I always freak out when I post something
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Tofu Freaking Rules
Tofu Freaking Rules https://bit.ly/350TvUV
We need to talk about tofu. As Beyond Meat and Impossible Burger mania sweeps the globe, the OG vegan protein is getting left behind—and I, for one, hate to see it. If you’re serious about reducing your reliance on animal products, tofu has the potential to change your diet—and life—for the better.
To some extent, I get why so many people, particularly American meat-eaters, are resistant to the entire concept of tofu. Western culture has ruthlessly (and racist-ly) slandered the humble soy-based protein for as long as we’ve known about it, so a lot of us were basically programmed from birth to think it’s garbage.
I’m begging you to reconsider. When correctly prepared, tofu is a textural marvel, running the gamut from delicate and custardy to deep-fried and crunchy. Its unmatched flavor-absorbing powers make it a total chameleon; it truly can be anything you want it to be. I’ve loved tofu my whole meat-eating life, and I’m here to convert the naysayers. Welcome to my Tofu Manifesto.
You’re probably thinking about tofu all wrong
The biggest, wrongest tofu misconception is that it’s strictly a meat substitute. Sure, it can be that if it needs to—but tofu’s closest animal protein analog is actually the egg. On their own, eggs are bland; it’s their ability to morph into a staggering array of forms and textures that makes them so special. However you like your eggs—fried crisp with lacy edges, scrambled soft with lots of butter, or cooked into a puffy, tender frittata—I’m willing to bet your preferences come down to texture rather than flavor.
The same is true for tofu, which is why I’m skeptical when people insist they don’t like how it tastes. Soft and silken tofu has a more noticeable soy milk vibe than the firm stuff, but for the most part, it adds no flavor whatsoever to a dish. Tofu only tastes as good as the sauce it’s served in—texture is basically the whole point.
It’s embarrassingly easy to make tofu taste amazing
Contrary to popular assumption, delicious tofu takes barely any work at all. In fact, all the usual hacks try way too hard: Pressing takes forever (and freezing even longer); marinating often yields profoundly mediocre results; a cornstarch dredge too easily sogs out. None of these techniques work particularly well on medium-to-soft tofu, and with the exception of marinating, they also offer absolutely nothing in the way of seasoning.
For all of these reasons and more, the salt water trick is the only tofu hack worth knowing. Hot, salty water is a tofu prep triple threat: It dehydrates firm tofu so it crisps up quickly, sets super-fragile soft tofu so it doesn’t fall apart, and seasons everything through and through. It also adds as much work to your dinner prep as boiling pasta. I’ll get into the specific techniques in a bit; for now, just know that the salt water hack promoted tofu from something I’d buy occasionally to a legit, can’t-live-without-it staple.
If you remain unmoved, I’ve collected my favorite tofu products and preparations in one place, starting with the most hater-friendly ones. This isn’t a recipe post—it’s all about the technique. (Where applicable, I’ll link to specific recipes that I used and explain how I adjusted them to work with tofu, with the hope that you’ll soon be doing the same.)
Even hardline skeptics love fried tofu puffs
Tofu puffs are cheap, delicious, deep-fried flavor sponges that need zero prep; in other words, they’re easy to love. You can toss them whole into curries and stews for a fun textural element, but I strongly recommend taking 30 seconds to slice them in half. With their honeycomb-like interiors exposed, these puffy little nuggets soak up sauce like nobody’s business—without compromising their crispiness.
To show them off, I made my favorite Maangchi recipe—cheese buldak, or fire chicken with cheese—with halved tofu puffs instead of chicken breast.
Those two ingredients are obviously nothing alike, but the swap totally works thanks to the insanely powerful sauce. Red-hot both in color and spice level, surprisingly sweet, and with enough fresh ginger and garlic to put hair on your chest, it more than picks up the slack for something as bland as chicken breast or unseasoned tofu. Having made this dish with chicken dozens of times, I have to say—I prefer the puffs. Even when saturated with sauce, they stay light and puffy, which is the perfect contrast to the ultra-chewy texture of sliced rice cakes and melted mozzarella.
Pressed tofu does (most of) the prep work for you
As the name implies, pressed tofu has already been pressed to remove most of its moisture, resulting in a pleasantly toothsome texture. You can buy it pre-seasoned with soy sauce and five spice powder, but I like it plain so I can season it however I like.
Here, I whipped up a vaguely Spam-inspired mixture of roughly 2 tablespoons each of soy sauce and sugar, plus a teaspoon of garlic powder and a few shakes of smoky hot sauce (El Yucateco Black Label Reserve for life). I added some cubed pressed tofu and let everyone hang out about 20 minutes, flipping them around halfway through. You don’t need much marinade; a shallow layer is plenty.
I then used it to bulk up a super basic batch of fried rice with ginger, garlic, carrots, and frozen peas. The cubes got nicely crispy and charred on the edges, and were just what I needed to add some substance to a huge bowl of fried carbs.
Unseasoned pressed tofu also makes great vegan “paneer:” Cube it up and marinate in lemon juice with a few pinches of salt for 30 minutes, or longer if you have the time. As with regular paneer, you can pan-fry the tofu or leave it alone; either way, you’ll be surprised at how closely the marinated tofu mimics the texture and flavor of the real thing.
Medium-to-firm tofu needs a little TLC
This range of the tofu spectrum is the most recognizable and the least immediately appealing. I mean, just look at this:
In my experience, the variations between medium, firm, and extra-firm tofu are pretty meaningless, and I use them all interchangeably. Left uncooked, they all have a texture best described as “rubbery,” with no discernible flavor at all. Their highest calling is getting crispy in a hot skillet and doused in a flavorful sauce.
All you need to make crunchy pan-fried tofu is salt water, a good nonstick pan, and all of 20-30 minutes. That’s it. Here’s my usual procedure for a standard 1-pound block.
Before I do any other ingredient prep, I bring 2-3 cups of salted water and 2 teaspoons of table salt to a strong boil in a saucepan. Then I cut the heat, slide in my tofu, and let it sit while I prepare the rest of the recipe. After 15-20 minutes, I drain off the water and either pat the tofu dry on clean towels or leave it in the colander until I need it.
To get that crispy surface going, I coat my big cast-iron skillet with a thin layer of neutral oil and heat it over medium-high. I then add the tofu, spread it into an even layer, and leave it completely alone for at least 5 minutes.
Once the edges start to brown, I flip it over and do the same on the other side.
Boom. Done. Obviously, I used crumbled tofu here—it’s my favorite—but this works just as well with cubes, slabs, triangles, or any other shape you can dream up.
Don’t sleep on crumbled tofu
I know I said that tofu isn’t a meat substitute, but crispy tofu crumbles get really fucking close. In many cases, I prefer them to meat because they hold their shape—and a surprising amount of crunch—even when simmered for a long time. Sure, they don’t give you the specific richness you get with ground pork or beef, but with the right recipe you won’t miss it at all.
Speaking of the right recipe, Bon Appétit Test Kitchen director Chris Morocco’s spicy sweet sambal pork noodles are flawless—but, despite the name, I’ve actually never made them with meat. I only had tofu the first time I made them, and they turned out so well that I’m fine with never learning how they taste with pork.
I make the recipe exactly as written, except—obviously—I leave the pork out. Instead, I fry up soaked, crumbled firm tofu in a separate skillet while the sauce simmers, then dump ‘em in and toss everything together with cooked noodles. This cuts at least 30 minutes off the cook time without compromising on anything except porkiness, which I promise won’t even register.
You can also use tofu crumbles like ground beef. I usually throw in some minced onion and garlic in once the tofu is nice and crispy, then cook it down with a little tomato paste, taco seasoning, and cheap beer if I’ve got it.
It’s not beefy, exactly, but it tastes incredible in its own right—and makes a killer vegan-friendly crunchwrap filling.
You can roast tofu, too
Maybe you’d rather not spray your stovetop with oil in the name of crispy tofu. In that case, roasted tofu is for you. The results are directly comparable to pan-frying—they just take a little longer to get there.
Start with soaked, drained tofu, preferably cut into triangles or flat slabs so they’re easy to flip. Arrange on a clean towel and let them dry out while your oven preheats to 450ºF.
If you like, cut a vegetable of your choice into similarly-sized pieces and toss them with a tablespoon or two of neutral oil; I’m using kabocha squash here.
Place a sheet pan on the lowest oven rack. After about 3 minutes, add 2-3 tablespoons of neutral oil to the pan, put it back in the oven, and heat for another minute or two. Carefully transfer the tofu and vegetables to the hot oiled pan, return to the bottom rack, and roast for at least 20 minutes. Flip everything over and roast for another 15-20 minutes, until the tofu is super crispy on both sides and the vegetables are browned and soft.
You can eat the whole shebang straight off the pan—perhaps drizzled with spicy peanut sauce or chili oil—but I added mine to a quick curry made with Maesri panang curry paste, palm sugar, and coconut milk. (Maesri is the only brand I’ve found that doesn’t use shrimp paste or fish sauce; if you usually avoid prepared curry paste for allergy or vegan reasons, give it a try.)
To be completely honest, the kabocha was a miss—the flesh was too dry, and the skin was super tough. The crispy roasted tofu, however, slapped. They can’t all be bangers; such is the nature of experimentation.
When you feel ready, silken tofu is there for you
The next stop on our tour de tofu is the most controversial, misunderstood one yet: Soft or silken tofu. Yes, it’s bland. Unseasoned coagulated soy milk isn’t going to blow your mind with super-concentrated umami or whatever. But when prepared correctly, soft tofu is more than just delicious—it’s absolutely sublime. I will go to bat for it all day long, and I would love to tell you why.
The dish that changed my mind about silken tofu came from Biwa, a now-closed izakaya-style bar in Portland. It was deceptively simple: A whole block of chilled silken tofu drizzled with sweet soy sauce and topped with bias-cut scallions, fistfuls of toasted sesame seeds, and paper-thin bonito shavings. I ordered it every time, and my friends would always be like—“Cold tofu? Why?” But if I could convince them to take a bite, they’d understand. It was like eating a deeply savory panna cotta.
Unfortunately, my dearly departed Tofu Slab is no more—and my attempts to recreate it have been so unsuccessful that I’m forced to settle for the next best thing: Salt water-soaked silken tofu mounded on hot white rice and drowned in chili oil, soy sauce, and black vinegar.
I’m not complaining. The salt water, once again, is key: It turns a cold, slimy block of tofu into a piping-hot savory custard, which is the perfect canvas for condiments. Sure, there’s not much in the way of textural contrast, but the softness is so comforting and nice that I think a crunchy element would actually defeat the purpose. It’s a delicious, balanced, reasonably nutritious meal you can throw together in the time it takes to cook a pot of rice.
Putting it all together: All-tofu mapo tofu
Neglecting to mention mapo tofu in an article about tofu is basically journalistic malpractice. The iconic Sichuanese tofu dish is rich, meaty, spicy, funky, sour, and savory all at once—and slicked with lip-numbing Sichuan peppercorn oil for good measure. It’s a top 3 dish for me; I make it all the time, usually using Maggie Zhu’s recipe from the Omnivore’s Cookbook.
Being a big vegetable fan, I’ve experimented with using minced veg—eggplant, mushrooms, and even carrots—in place of the traditional ground meat. But this time, I decided to follow my vision and make a variant I’m calling “Oops! All Tofu.” I approached this recipe just like the sambal noodles, swapping crispy tofu crumbles in for the ground pork—but this time, I also soaked some cubed soft tofu in a fresh pot of salt water while the sauce simmered away.
This was one of the most delicious things I’ve ever made. The nubbins of soft tofu were literally melt-in-your-mouth tender, while the crispy crumbles turned downright meaty as they soaked up the spicy, salty, rich sauce. It made me even more certain of all of the (correct) tofu opinions I just laid out before you and, if you’ll let it, it has the power to convert you too.
Internet via Lifehacker https://bit.ly/2VwWgKq April 24, 2020 at 12:01PM
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