#get through the regret prison without crying challenge impossible

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

The symbolism of Rook finally reaching out to their friends and taking their outstretched hands through the Fade tear at the end of the Prison of Regrets, after putting everybody else's needs above theirs and treating themself as expendable the whole time before that... Does anybody else need to howl at the moon about the beauty and catharsis of it or...?

[axelsandwich]

Sorting The Untamed characters

In which I have a lot of feelings about sorting The Untamed characters into @sortinghatchats​ classifications because I’m a LOSER NERD WITH FEELINGS : D

Wei Wu Xian - Gryffindor primary/Gryffindor secondary

WWX’s Gryff energy is like….what are you so LOUD for. There’s nothing he can do other than stick to his morals and principles and what his gut is telling him is the right thing to do, no matter the cost. Even if it makes him public enemy number one of the cultivation world, even if it exiles him from his family and clan, even if it goes against everything he was taught and involves helping and saving his worst enemies - see: Wen clan in Xuanwu cave, the cultivators in Burial Mound after losing their spiritual powers due to Su She. This is someone who adheres brightly and with his all to his principles simply because it is the RIGHT thing to do and he knows this with unshaken conviction and is steady once he discovers this, which has its own power. 

Honestly I was actually initially thinking between Slytherin with Claw and Claw secondary because WWX has an improvisational streak to him, managing to thrive even when thrown into the worst of circumstances with a combination of his own prodigious skill and flexibility when it comes to drastically relearning the dark arts to compensate for a lack of golden core. But here’s the passage that convinced me otherwise: “it is a Gryffindor’s stark, direct honesty makes them them feel the most secure. Lies, or even misdirects, are slippery footing. For a Gryffindor Secondary, their blunt honesty is a facet of their personality and their morality—lying about who or why you are taints the victory. A Gryffindor Secondary can and will lie if the cause is important enough— but it will leave a bad taste in their mouth the same way trusting a stranger with their honesty might terrify a Slytherin Secondary.” The blunt honest is self-evident in…well, WWX’s entire existence lmao but even when young in the Gusu Lan sect. But what convinces me is after WWX gets Chenqing and the way the great lie about why he doesn’t use Suibian anymore is framed afterwards. It kills WWX to lie about all that he is, it’s presented as one of the fundamental tragedies of his story - the ultimate betrayal of himself that he makes for a greater purpose and in pursuit of his Gryff primary ideals. The fact it’s not treated lightly or as a tool to be used to achieve his goals is what makes him a Gryff secondary. 

He models a Claw’s curiosity and intellectual fascination with questioning the world order and a Slytherin’s keen eye for motivations and people, but ultimately it comes down to that red thread of charging when backed into a corner - quite literally, he charges towards the Xuanwu, out of Chiongqi Road with the Wen prisoners, into the plaza of cultivators calling for his ashes, directly into Guanyin temple where Jingyi is in danger; he puts himself in harm’s way without a second thought when his gut is telling him he’s right to do so. He also has the classic Gryff secondary trait of amassing an accidental army in his wake of the most unlikely people, all transformed by his draw and that irresistible quality of truth to him. 

Lan Wang Ji - Gryffindor primary/Ravenclaw secondary

LWJ is a quiet version of the Gryffindor primary, raised in a culture that forces him into like…the strongest of all Ravenclaw models. He adheres strictly and obediently to the Lan clan’s system of the world because in his mind, it was the right thing to do… until WWX forces him to re-examine his morality, about what he was taught and everything he believed was right. And when his model of the world is challenged, what he ultimately goes with is…his heart. Not necessarily because his morality is guided by how WWX is his in the same way of Slytherin/Hufflepuff’s personal morality, but because WWX embodies the new insight that nothing is truly black or white in the way his clan’s system has taught; because LWJ feels that WWX is good, even when every other rule he’s been taught is saying otherwise and, little by little, he rebels quietly by dismantling those systems that once shaped his worldview. 

LWJ wrestles visibly with this the entire flashback arc of the drama, unable to bring himself to denounce WWX despite all the ‘bad’ he had done all the way until the Nightless City battle and when push came to shove, at the very end, he still chose to clutch onto WWX’s hand until WWX made the choice for him to let go. I do think he was ‘stripped’ by the experience - his internal compass, sense of purpose, and even sense of worth broken by the loss of WWX and that’s what he spends 16yrs atoning and suffering for. After WWX’s revival, he accordingly sets himself up against the cultivation world with no hesitation because he’s had 16yrs to regret not following his Gryff primary heart that said WWX’s way of seeing the world is right and he’s not going to falter again. 

Ravenclaw secondary bc……his first instinct when his boyfriend was changed by demonic cultivation was to flip the library upside down trying to find a cure and try to invent a whole ass song to cure him nghghghshf. But yes, he’ll fall back on systems, skills and knowledge he’s carefully built from the ground up when backed in a corner, drawing on what he’s known and carefully cultivated, looking through resources to try and gain more knowledge. 

Wen Qing - Slytherin primary/Slytherin secondary

Wen Qing’s morality and driver is very simple. It’s her brother at the start, her family, and gradually expands as people help him and - by extension - her: WWX, LWJ, Jiang Cheng. For them, she’ll betray the wider clan with very few qualms because they’re not her people and those who are hers come first. She connects with Jiang Cheng on the basis of both their Slytherin primaries, but understands immediately that he would never have gone with her to rescue Wen Ning because while she may tentatively be one of ‘his’ people in his mind, Wen Ning isn’t, and so any future with him is tragically unaccepted. When it comes down to sacrificing even the brother she holds so dear, she does it in the hope that her people - WWX and her wider family by proxy - may be saved from the cultivation world’s wrath. She’s a Slytherin secondary because she’s adaptable and able to draw on whatever skills she needs and be who she needs to be to achieve her goals, with a knack for zeroing in precisely on people’s true motivations and what will and won’t work with a cultivation society looking to find a bad guy. You can bet she’s the one who figured out how to trick Jiang Cheng into believing he could get his golden core back. It’s telling that her most emotional moments are when she lays down all her defences and sincerely speaks from the heart - whether it’s crying over Wen Ning’s body or thanking Wei Wu Xian and apologising. ; _ ; Wen Qing is a good egg. 

Jiang Cheng - Slytherin primary/Gryff secondary

It’s clear from the start that Jiang Cheng’s morality revolves around his family who are his and come above everyone else, along with his pride (but we’re not gonna talk about thatttt...). His impassioned plea of ‘it was enough to just save ourselves, why did you have to save them’ re: bringing the Wen clan wrath upon the Jiang clan proves he could never see eye to eye with WWX’s Gryffindor primary that demands what is right be applied to all, and therein lies the source of their feud, when we get to the pointy end and doing what’s right involves a lot more sacrifice and hardship. Jiang Cheng’s very specialised loyalty is tested over and over throughout the beginning of the series by outsiders casting suspicion on WWX’s motivations, pricking at his pride and his deep set insecurities about his own position and whether he’s actually loved by the people he’s claimed as his own and also on their priority list (see: his father, WWX). 

What truly makes him give up and cut WWX out of his circle is when WWX himself says ‘I exile myself from the tribe’. In Jiang Cheng’s eyes, to betray the people who are yours is what is unforgivable and impossible to understand, and that’s what comes out as the most deeply buried point of pain in Guanyin temple and what’s driven JC’s anger the last sixteen years. That doesn’t make him any less of an extreme Gryff secondary than WWX, whether it’s charging straight into the feared Burial Mound where no one’s ever come out alive just to drag his brother out and confront him about all the problems directly, to confronting WWX directly in Lotus Cove, to marching into Guanyin temple’s front door. Which is probably why they fight. We also find out in the end that Jiang Cheng is fully capable of the same dumb self sacrifice that WWX made for him. Ironically, both of their actions boil down to ‘I must protect my brother’, except where WWX does it because it’s right, Jiang Cheng does it because that’s his brother. 

Jin Guangyao - Slytherin primary/Slytherin secondary

WWX’s diametric opposite. I do think he seems like a petrified Slytherin - Guanyin temple arc reveals that his world once comprised at least of himself and his mother, and perhaps the idealised image of who his father would be, and he strove and strove until his father shattered all his dreams, until his world narrows until it’s ultimately and dangerously comprised of just himself. I do think Nie Mingjue, Su She, Qin Su and Lan Xichen came the closest to who he would consider ‘his’ people, but even that falls away as they ‘betray’ him and because his actions are ultimately guided by his loyalty only to himself, and warps exactly what he interprets as ‘betrayal’. This is what allows him to betray them when they ultimately fall out of line with JGY’s priorities and give them such cruel endings despite how much he professes to treasure them. It’s what creates his resentment against NMJ that festers until it leads to NMJ’s demise - in JGY’s eyes, to throw aside everything in their relationship for the sake of some lowly, subhuman captain who’s always treated JGY with contempt and to keep holding it against him is incomprehensible, unforgivable. It’s also why LXC stabbing him is met with such choking disbelief and anger - because JGY, true to his word, would have never entertained the concept of betraying a person who was proving to be his and LXC was his last hope. His secondary Slytherin allows him to transform and shift with the wind, shedding personas and layers as easily as water, the same way it pains WWX to do the same. 

Nie Huaisang - Slytherin primary/Slytherin secondary 

Jin Guangyao’s equal and foil, ironically also putting up a very self-entered front in the world where it seems like he only cares about his own self interests but quietly loyal to a select number of people who are his - WWX, his elder brother - and will quietly work in the shadows playing the long con to systematically dismantle everything about the person he despises. Slytherin secondary allows him to make himself a fool without any qualms about it not being a reflection of his true face or authentic self, and pull the puppet strings on even those he cares about until he gets to where he wants to be. 

Lan XiChen - Ravenclaw primary/Ravenclaw secondary

Xichen sticks much more closely to what his clan’s systems are and his carefully constructed understanding of the world and that’s what both blinds him to JGY and shakes his worldview so heavily when JGY reveals himself to be a villain. But his felt morality, guided by the system of being just and fair is also what allows him to reject JGY and entertain the possibility of his betrayal. A Slytherin primary may stubbornly cling to faith in a person that he sees as ‘his’ person, but a Ravenclaw primary will feel guilty and immoral to be sticking with them despite knowing they’re betraying the system of justice that he prides above all. It’s what allows him to be an ally to both WWX/LWJ and JGY for the latter half of the series, trying to understand and question the logical holes in WWX and LWJ’s arguments. Where WWX and LWJ don’t have evidence for JGY being evil, they can feel it in their guts and they charge towards getting that evidence based on those convictions. LXC on the other hand may sense something in his gut but he will not act against JGY without being convinced of said evidence, until he is certain of what the real truth is and will methodically keep digging and questioning the evidence being presented to him until it becomes undeniable. It’s also telling that his anger when Huaisang manipulates him into stabbing JGY is not so much about the fact he betrayed his friend (which is the key pain point that JGY angrily latches onto) but that Huaisang may have been lying, that LXC may have acted on something that was not true and he had been unable to see through that. It’s a subtle difference I think, but what separates his primary. I think his Ravenclaw secondary is pretty obvious in the thoroughness of his methods and the ways we’ve seen him dodge the Wen clan, to be willing to work with JGY during the Sunshot Campaign. It requires flexibility of thinking and drawing on a range of resources and that’s what LXC quietly excels at. 

Jiang Yanli & Wen Ning - Hufflepuff primary/Hufflepuff secondary

Both are honestly quite similar — they’ll hold onto their belief in the basic goodness of all people, regardless of allegiance and regardless of their past history and that’s the source of what endears them to people and why they manage to build an army of people who would die and care for them when push comes to shove. 

The little we see of both Yanli and Wen Ning’s way of operating from a secondary perspective revolves around being of service to others, being a source of reliability, support and consistency, quietly building, strengthening and contributing to their little community. Wen Ning quietly and diligently attends to WWX’s protection at all times, reliably taking on the roles allocated to him with a genuine commitment to performing them to his best ability. 

When they ‘fight’, they fight by drawing on their resources, through a thorough, systematic and relentless persistance. A Li’s approach to the battle of words on Phoenix Mountain is an example of this - she draws upon her position, her knowledge of what is ‘proper’ to do within the community and the goodwill she’s built with Madame Jin to subtly dismantle Jin Zixun’s arguments while still pleasantly entrapping him in the niceties of the community she’s a part of without alienating herself the same way WWX can’t help but do with his bluntness. When JC threatens to push WWX to the limits of his endurance, Wen Ning defends WWX through words, standing up again and again despite being violently thrown back and systematically dismantling all of JC’s defence mechanisms by thoroughly and sincerely pushing back on every false claim and even urging JC to call on the community to verify the truth of his words. They’re indomitable, stubborn and effective and that’s Puff/Puff energy right there.

Jin Ling - Gryff primary/Gryff secondary

Gryff primary…why are you so LOUD for Pt 2. Poor Jingyi, two Gryff secondary uncles and father…he had no chance lmaaaao. Impulsive, reckless, absolutely a ‘charge first and ask questions later’ kid and screaming Gryff secondary. Will bash a hole in a wall when he’s denied entry and get caught by the skeleton demons than like…find another way around, you know? Or charge into Guanyin temple without much second thought. His Gryff primary and his gut morality of what is right - aka. trusting WWX and treating him with fairness - ultimately wins against him being pushed hard into the whole ‘pride in your clan only’ angle by his Slytherin primary uncle, and that’s what allows him to become a WWX duckling (begrudgingly) despite all his puffery and objections. It’s also what lets him survive and accept the betrayal of seeing his other uncle revealed as a villain and how he’s able to reject JGY when his misdeeds become undeniable. I also think it’s super cute he’s the same type as WWX, honestly...it’s why I love their dynamic. He’s the young, unjaded version of his uncle.    

Lan Sizhui - Puff primary/Gryff secondary with a Claw model?

There’s a kindness to Shizui that he extends to Mo Xuanyu, Jin Ling and Wen Ning against convention and despite - in Jin Ling’s case - how hard he tries to create distance in that relationship that makes me think Puff primary and his determination to see everyone as people to be respected. I feel like we don’t see enough of Sizhui in action to really be able to determine his secondary - he has something of secondary Puff/Claw vibes in the way he comes across as quietly diligent, reliable and insightful, but he’s also got a certain amount of fire when he needs to - grabbing people’s legs as a kid, making a move towards possessed Song Lan in Yi City despite WWX telling them all to get out, brawling with the other ducklings when tied up, rushing recklessly back up the Burial Mound path to find WWX and LWJ who were holding back the ghouls etc. Maybe a secret Gryff secondary that’s normally held in place by a Claw or Puff model. 

[peacefulwriter88]

Ripples - End

Reader x Steve Rogers, Reader X Bucky Barnes

Warnings: M for language

A/N: Finally, the ending. So very sorry this has taken to so long.

Tag List: @captainxamerica, @just—love, @senpaiace, @glittercoveredsouls, @findacauseandserveit, @devil-may-cry-11-blog, @agentbarnescarter, @mannatgalhotra @harrisbn @sapphire1727 @ishipmybed @nessy-bearxb @calaofnoldor @cautionconed @badassbaker @mannatgalhotra @girlwonder86 @thatpunkrockfandomchick @barnesdeservestheworld @gratittie@memory-of-a-goldfish @tacohead13 @greeneyedgirls4 @lloeppky@justanotherbuckydevotee@jasmineladjevardi @hollycornish@seargantbcky @planet-holland @violentpleasure @patzammit

Catch up with the series by reading it in the Masterlist

It’s the heat from the sun, no longer shadowed by the clouds that stirs you from your sleep. You blink up, the blinding light obstructing your vision for a few minutes before you sit up, allowing your memory to flood back to you as you look out into the endless blue horizon. You inhale the deep scent of salt and sea, the cool ocean spray sprinkling your skin as you lift yourself up from your seat, adjusting the sunglasses on top of your forehead to cover your eyes.

“You know,” the voice of T’Challa has your eyes snapping to him, taking in the black garb clashing with the intricate designs of his scarf that he’s wrapped around him. His dark chestnut skin popped against the outfit as he continued to steer the boat. “When you asked me if you could be hired to support my countries transition, recon work for my country and those who need support in the world, I thought you’d be a little more professional about your napping hours. Or what else am I paying you for?”

You roll your eyes as you smile, grabbing your backpack and grabbing the relic he was specifically identifying.

“I not only scouted for you for the past six months but have been able to identify the smugglers that have been stealing your rich resources,” you place the large, glowing relic beside him as he chuckles, “But have tightened your security, helped outsource a few of your men and helped your team with a variety of missions. I’d say a little nap now and then can be excused.”

He can’t help the smile that tugs on his face as he nears the docks, watching you carefully before he says,

“You know, Steve has –“

You hold up your hand, shaking your head. When you had left the Avengers Tower that day, your report had been clear. You had served many years for many agencies, always accomplishing your mission. Never once had you been distracted. Until now.

The obvious variable was The Avengers, the team that somehow had taken you into and shifted your ability to make smart decisions. So the decision had been clear.

“You can continue your work with the CIA. But you no longer will be surveying The Avengers team.”

Terry’s voice had been crisp as you stood outside the compound, the many men in suits moving past you as he looked down at you, his eyes knitted. You had your arms crossed, ignoring the off glance looks from not only the men who had been curious to see you – the highly trained assassin who had helped bring down and bridge a multitude of nations in the room. You also were ignoring the group of Avengers who were curious for the outcome, who wanted to see what you had decided. Both with the men and for your livelihood.

“To be expected. You placing me in a Syrian desert for the next few years.”

His eyes bear into your own as he continues,

“You can’t make any contact with this team if you expect to continue to work for the CIA for your duration serving this country. You, my dear, have proven to be a liability.”

“I’ve been the best agent that’s been able to support surveillance and navigate this team in a way that has cut back on lives, have rallied them together, helped them accomplish the mission of what the Avengers stand for. For you to place me with a group of people for three years – people who for once don’t give a damn about the outcomes of war but want to ensure that people are safe – can live their life with freedom…. you want me to cut that out?”

Your voice is cynical and Terry’s eyes betray something. Regret. Compassion. Then they click back to business,

“You have worked missions just as long with the same kind of work. You’ll bounce back.”

“And like I told you, I was working to help one side win over the other. This is different.”

An impasse. He knows what you are going to say next. Is afraid of it. Doesn’t know what the outcome will be from it.

“You can’t just leave.”

“You can’t tell me what to do with my life. You pay me to achieve goals. I’ve achieved goals. And even beyond that, this team is functioning in a way that none of the people have been able to achieve. So fuck this male driven bullshit. I’m out.”

You lean over, pulling at your badge as you pull your gun out of your holster around your thigh. Your CIA credentials. You place it in Terry’s hands as you shake your head.

“I’m tired of blindly following orders and not challenging what I believe. I’ve been a puppet for too damn long. Being around Steve has taught me that,” your eyes flash up to the window of Steve’s room where you know he’s looking down at you. “So, consider this my resignation. I have control over my life. I don’t have to blindly follow your orders anymore. I’m not a prisoner.”

You can’t help one last look toward Bucky’s room before, your decision already made between the both of them. You turn on your heels, heading to your car when you hear Terry chuckle, understanding.

“What am I going to tell my employer when they find this out. You know they want you out of the picture. Permanently.”

You smile as you open your car door, looking over it before giving a sad smile.

“Tell them that if they can find me, to stay out of my way. Next time I won’t be so nice.”

He chuckles as you step into your car, smiling as you pull away.

You hadn’t contacted Steve, or Bucky after you had left that day. It was too risky. You knew that the whole team would be monitored. You were a loose end that a lot of agencies had left in the wind. Knew that you would be impossible to find so your connection with them – to The Avengers – was their only opportunity to find you. Kill you. Finish what had been started.

So you ran. Ran to keep them safe.

“Are you going to let me finish or are you childishly going to ignore me?” T’Challa says, bringing you back to the present and you roll your eyes as you move toward the front of the small boat that is quickly catching up to the green horizon. Back to his home.

“Proceed.” You throw over your shoulder and you can fill the boat slow down as it slowly nears the docks.

“Steve has been asking about you, trying to see if I have any resources to find you. I tell him no, per our agreement. I understand your reasons why. But then, Bucky Barnes, the most silent man I think I may have ever encountered has also asked of you, if I have the resources to locate you. You have two men looking for you, Y/N, and you refuse to tell me the real reason why you have left the CIA. Are avoiding them.”

Your silent as you cross your arms as he says in a lower voice, almost lost with the sound of the engine,

“I have known you a long time. My family, my people know the great work you have done on behalf of the world. I know you are private but I warn you of this – you’ve spent too much time taking on the burden of others. Too much time sacrificing your personal happiness in exchange for others. For once, share the weight of your problems. There are so many people willing to help take on the burden.”

You look back into the horizon, fighting back the tears consuming you. Six months and your body had been an emotional roller coaster – all because of two specific super soldiers.

Love was a betrayal.

“I know that you are right,” you finally say – your voice above a whisper, “I know that you are. But trust is a luxury I was never allowed. I don’t tell you because you have always been there for me and you deserve the opportunity to speak ignorantly freely without my nonsense. I will take care of the Barnes and Rogers situation and one day, if you can trust me, I will tell you why it has to be my burden and mine alone.”

T’Challa tsks but you know he accepts your compromise. Understands that you were always forced into a world that didn’t give you the privilege to make choices fueled by your emotions. He could only respect that for what it was.

It’s when you’re five minutes out from the dock, the figures coming into better view that he says,

“Rogers and Barnes are going to be at the compound this afternoon. In the medicine and science department.”

You whip your head around and he sighs, shaking his head.

“I thought that maybe you were being over dramatic about this whole situation and perhaps was going to force a reunion. I know see that the weight of this situation borders on danger and that ultimately you need to be the one who engages with them. On your terms.”

You stand beside him, placing a gently hand on his shoulders.

“Thank you. And T’Challa, I will tell you what this all about. But please give me time.”

T’challa smiles, shaking his head.

“I know. But time isn’t on your side. Remember that.”

Avoiding the medical bay was a lot easier than you expected. In fact, you were surprised as you sat in your room, sorting through your reports on the advanced Wakandan tablet that you were able to get through the past mission with ease. Outside of Okoye paging you, asking the status of the past mission, you had been left in silence.

Which was dangerous.

When you were left idle, nothing to distract your thoughts your brain always dragged you back to them.

You had asked T’Challa one small gift when you had arrived. Unlimited access to their files to be up to date Thanks to the help of Shuri, you were able to hack into Stark Industries systems, a backdoor into the lives of the Avengers. Undetected by F.R.I.D.A.Y. you had known how both super soldiers had faired when you missed them most.

They were operating the way one would expect them too but neither of them were happy.

That was your fault. If you had been smarter you would have made your decision and dealt with the consequences, despite the complications continuously surrounding it.

However, you were a coward. So, you wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

It’s Shuri’s playful voice that has you logging out of the files you had always looked through, photos of the three of you back when things were simpler. Pulling you away from nostalgia.

“I thought broken Barnes and captain do good couldn’t get any more emotionally worse. Except they can and guess who is to blame.”

She dances into the room with ease, her hands subconsciously tapping with a tablet as she flops on your bed on her back, an amused smile on her face.

“What do you know Shuri?”

Shuri grins as she looks over at you.

“I thought for so long you had a thing for my brother,” you roll your eyes as she sits up. “What!? Everyone knows that at one point you and him did…you know. Got all close and personal.” She wiggles her eyebrows and you laugh shrugging your shoulders.

“Yes, but that was a long time ago. And I’m pretty sure I was a rebound, he always had his eyes on Nakia.”

“Yes, yes I get that now.” Shuri sits on her knees as she plants her hands on her thighs, her task temporarily forgotten. “Cuz those two emotionally shattered white boys are whipped for you. They kept asking T’Challa if he had gotten any wind on you, if anyone was on your tail and if so if you were okay. And you know what T’Challa did.”

“He lied.” You smile as oyu sit back against your headboard and Shuri nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! My brother never lies. He’s just like the good-looking Captain. Pure at heart. Boring.” She rolls her eyes as she grabs her tablet and begins her work.

“You should go see them. At least let them know you are okay. They might actually peel over and die at this point from stress. Bucky looks worse than he was when I was supporting him getting rid of all the demons Hydra had trapped in him. That man is fine as hell but looks like something the cat dragged in. Literally.”

You close your eyes, giving a deep sigh. You know you should. You really wanted to. It was just so damn complicated.

“They deserve to know the real reason why you are avoiding them.” Shuri says softly, placing a gentle hand on your knee and you crack a smile, shaking your head.

“Yea. I know.”

“It can’t hurt. And then you can go hide somewhere like on an island or whatever. You’re good at that.”

You laugh as you sit up, checking yourself in the mirror. You had let your hair grown out a bit but outside of that not too much of you had changed. Minus the obvious thing.”

“Just let them know I’m okay…” you say distractedly and Shuri turns to you, attention focused as she nods her head enthusiastically.

“Just one interaction.”

You give one last long sigh before nodding.

“Fuck it. Can’t be any worse than the mess I’m already in.” you say as you start to head out of the lab.

“Maybe take a shower! You stink!” Shuri yells, causing you to stop in your tracks. Shower. Right.

If it was being dragged into hell by your past demons, might as well do it looking well.

Steve stands at the bay window, watching the city underneath him move in business. Bucky was meeting with a mechanical engineer to look into the upgrade of his arm, making sure that everything was up and running. Bucky had picked up the complicated Wakandan language during his time in hideout, and spoke with his doctor with ease in the native tongue. Steve didn’t care to stay in the advanced room as a third wheel, opting to wait for his friend in T’Challa’s office. After he had caught up on a surveillance report from Tony, he had wandered idly to the window, getting lost in his thoughts.

Typically, when this happened, when he was given the luxury to get lost in his thoughts, his mind drew itself back to you.

He missed you so damn much.

Hadn’t realized how much he had relied on your companionship, your presence a constant in his life, until you were gone.

Now the compound seemed emptier, quieter. Things that you had done habitually had shifted. Coffee was no longer a morning constant, running in the mornings were lonely, mission reports seemed bland. This reflected in Bucky as well. If anyone thought Bucky was quiet before he met you, they know understand the vow of silence. He only gruffed out responses, if that, and was so silent that even Sam had forgotten he lived in the compound. Both of them only spoke when necessary, their voices such a rare occasion that it even started Natasha’s once when Steve had asked for her to pass him a butter knife. 

He loved you.

Bucky loved you.

And you were gone.

Even if you had chosen Bucky, at least you would still be around. He could live with a broken heart knowing he could see you day to day. Not having you around was worse. 

He’s so distracted watching the movement occurring in Wakanda’s downtown district that he misses the door opening, closing softly as someone nears him.

“Is Bucky ready T’Challa? Thank you for letting me use your office to get some work done…” his voice cuts off as he turns, the breath getting kicked out of him at the intruder who had stolen his silence. You hadn’t changed and yet you were the same. Your hair had grown a bit, pulled back in intricate jewelry. The Wakandan sun dress was flattering your curves, your smile pulled into the same smile as your eyes twinkled in mischief.

God, you were beautiful.  

Then his eyes travel down to your belly, the small bump accentuating out from the rest of your dress as you placed a protective hand over your stomach, your chest rising and falling quickly. He could hear your heart beating faster, hear an even smaller, faint one echoing your own and his eyes soften as he walks toward you, reaching out a shaking hand out to your belly. He falls on his knees in front of you, his hands carefully placing themselves of either side of your round flesh as he looks up at you.

“Hiya Steve. There’s something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you and Buck for a while….”

A/N: Sorry luv’s – I honestly couldn’t resist! Wanted to celebrate the opening of Black Panther and open it up to continuing this series. If enough people are into the continuation of this series please let me know! I very much enjoyed writing this for you all!