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marauder-misprint · 29 days ago
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hey! love ur fics! my request is a james potter fic where he’s jealous and decides to spy on the date (eat that type of stuff up loll) i can totally see him being in complete denial under the guise of being a protective friend, and then it all clicks. thanks!
Hi! Thank you for this request ❤︎ James is a protective friend. Reader shant be harmed! He is totally not jealous, he is just looking out for your safety. ❤︎ This is Fabian Prewett slander. Also, there is a sibling age-gap between Molly and the twins??? lol at least in my fics there is.
Hope y'all enjoy ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
Jacket
James Potter x fem!reader
4.2k words
cw: fluff, y/n, oblivious pining?
James was drying his hair in the locker room after quidditch practice when he heard of your upcoming date. He was minorly insulted that he hadn’t heard it from you, but rather from Fabian Prewett. Even worse, the date was with Fabian. All of it caught him off guard. James didn’t peg Fabian as being your type. Just don’t ask him what your type is; he doesn’t have an answer. Just not Fabian. 
When Fabian had announced that he snagged an absolute ten, he had the ears of the whole team. James thought Fabian was talking about some seventh year Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff that he personally would never pay attention to. James whipped his head toward Fabian when he clarified that it was you. He was almost certain that he must’ve heard wrong, but then Marlene questioned him further and Fabian repeated your name. 
James didn’t say anything as he finished changing and left the locker room. Usually, he would have a snarky comment or two. Not tonight. He was trying to process that Fabian really thought he had a chance with you and the fact that you had said yes.
“It’s a bit strange, innit?” James asked after relaying the information to the boys in his dorm. 
“That Fabian actually got a date? Yeah,” Remus said from his desk, earning chuckles from the others. 
“But with Y/N? He’s not her type.”
“I don’t know, mate,” Sirius said. “Girls are strange creatures. Bloody beautiful and distracting… but strange.”
“Just last week, Mary was screaming about someone taking her nail polish and then two seconds later, she comes back from her dorm with a chocolate frog ‘n’ is perfectly agreeable. Strange,” Peter added to support Sirius’ claim. 
James grumbled to himself as he reclined on his bed. This was you. You did strange just like every other girl, but a date with Fabian wasn’t right. It wasn’t you.  
“Oi, why you fuming?” Remus asked. 
“Fucking Fabian…” 
Sirius laughed, knowing his friend all too well. “That’s what happens when you don’t ask her out first.”
“I don’t want to ask her out,” James snapped before supporting his body with his forearms so he could glare at Sirius. “She can just do better than Fabian.”
“Uh-huh. So, you’d have no problem if one of us asked her?” Sirius asked.
James frowned. “No.” 
“Then who is she allowed to date?” Peter asked. “We’re the best people you know.”
“She can date…” James’ voice trailed off as he tapped his lips pensively. “Someone worthy of her. Prewett? No. You lot? No. … It’d have to be someone she could tell me about. I shouldn’t be hearing about her dates in the locker room.”
“Why is she telling you about who she dates?” Remus asked as he set his essay aside. That wasn’t getting worked on any more tonight. 
“Because I’m her friend! She should run these things by me.”
“Have you considered that you’re not her father?” Remus asked.
James pointed his finger excitedly at Remus. “You have a point! These idiots should get permission from me before asking her.” 
“No…”
“I can vet them before she wastes her time on them,” James continued, getting more confident in this theory as he spoke. “She should only be going out with the best of the best and I can weed out the gits and pervs.” 
“Prongs,” Remus warned, but James either didn’t hear him or pretended he didn’t.
“I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Get her to cancel on Prewett until I make sure he’s worthy.”
“She won’t,” Sirius said.
“If she won’t… I’ll go on the date with her. Make sure his hands stay where I can see them. No funny business. No getting back to the common room too late.”
“I don’t think getting back late is going to be a worry,” Peter muttered. James sent a confused look his direction. “You’ll want to keep her away from his dorm.”
“Wormtail!” Remus groaned, throwing his back. “Thanks for putting that idea in his head.”
“No, thank you, Wormtail! That is definitely something I should be preventing!” 
Sirius threw a pillow at James. “Let a girl do what, or rather who, she wants!” 
James threw the pillow back with more force. You would not be sleeping with Fabian if he had anything to do with it. You could do better. He would make sure that you did.
---
“Y/N!” James practically sang as he sat across from you at breakfast the next morning. 
You grumbled out some kind of greeting before taking a bite of your breakfast. James being chipper in the morning wasn’t new. You weren’t a morning person while he was. You only put up with it because he had been one of your first friends at Hogwarts and he wasn’t someone you stopped being friends with. That and the part of you that wished he saw you as something more than friends. You knew you couldn’t hold out on that dream forever, so you had agreed to go on a date with Fabian. 
“You won’t believe what I heard last night,” James said as he piled food onto his plate. You raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “You have a date?”
You coughed, choking on your breakfast until Marlene hit your back firmly. You had told the girls almost immediately after Fabian asked you; they all squealed excitedly at the news. A seventh year? That was the talk of the dorm for the week. James didn’t sound like he was going to break out into squeals. 
“Yeah,” you wheezed before reaching for your cup to take a drink. “This weekend.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
You gave Marlene a sideways glance. 
“Is it your business who I go to Hogsmeade with?”
He flexed his eyebrows and ran a hand through his hair. He thought your friendship warranted the sharing of life events. You told him when you had your first kiss – a muggle boy from your neighborhood over the summer. You told him when you aced exams and received excellent marks on essays; you told him when you nearly failed assignments as well. You had knocked on his dorm door a few times when you had a nightmare or just couldn’t sleep in general. 
“Feels like something you’d share with me, yeah.” 
Good answer, James. Good, clean answer. Casual. Platonic and doesn’t seem like you’re expecting every detail. Work up to telling her that she shouldn’t go.
You rolled your eyes fondly and stabbed a potato on your plate. 
“Well, sorry you had to hear second-hand,” you said, sounding genuine, but then you added dryly, “How ever can I make it up to you?”
“I don’t think you should go.” Fuck.
The words left James’ mouth before he could stop them. That wasn’t the ‘work up’ he was mentally planning on. Marlene, Mary and a few more girls around you all stared at James in shock. Murmurs of ‘the audacity’ and ‘what did he say’ and the like filled the air. James was a loud person. Add that to the fact that people tended to listen when he talked, whether or not they were a part of the conversation or not, more people heard James’ statement than either of you would’ve liked.
“Ex-excuse me?” you managed to sputter out after a few seconds. 
“I… don’t think you should go,” James repeated, a hand ruffling his hair in an attempt to briefly cover his red-tinted face.
“And why is that, Potter?” His surname left your lips tasting bitter. You didn’t call him Potter. You called him James. 
“It’s Prewett! You can do better than him. I mean, come on!” he started spewing out. “Anyone can see that you’re out of his league. He shouldn’t even have had the balls to ask you out. And… and… What if he just wants to get into your pants?” 
You scoffed a laugh, but you reached across the table to pat his hand affectionately. 
“It’s just butterbeers,” you said sweetly. “Flattering you think I’m out of his league though.”
“You are.” A firm statement that made you flush slightly.
“Still, I’m not one to turn down free butterbeers, and I think it will be a good time. So… I’ll be going on the date,” you said, taking your hand back. “How about this for making it up to you: you can help me pick out what I wear.”
James’ immediate thought was to turn that down. Deciding what outfit you wore was something girls did. Why would he be interested in that? Then he realized that if he helped you pick out what you would wear, he could ensure that you didn’t wear anything too revealing or tempting. He could make sure that you were nicely dressed but not in a way that made Fabian really want to take you back to his dorm. And then spotting you in the Three Broomsticks would be even easier. 
Because, yes, if you were going on that date, so was he. 
“Alright.”
You smirked. You hadn’t expected James to actually accept your offer. But if he saw himself as one of the girls, it made sense that he was upset he didn’t hear about the date from you and being involved in the pre-date ritual would heal the wound you unintentionally caused. 
---
James laid on your bed on Saturday as you pulled clothing out of your trunk, tossing them on top of him. The boys had repeatedly cautioned James against this, and against what he was going to do. He couldn’t be reasoned with. He was fully convinced that this date was going to be a disaster for you and he’d be there for you when Fabian ended up acting like a dick. 
“So,” you said, standing up and clasping your hands together, “I’ve already decided on these shoes. If I’m going to Hogsmeade, I’m going to need to walk. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” James echoed. He picked at the skirts, shorts, jeans and shirts that laid around and on him. If you’d listen to him, you’d be in jeans and one of your plain t-shirts that didn’t hug your body all that much. 
“And I’ve already picked out my jewelry. I’ll touch up my makeup after we decide on an outfit. It’s still rather nice out, so I’m not thinking the jeans, but you never know. Some of the shirts just go better with them. But that red skirt? I really like that one. Is it too much for a first date?” 
Absolutely not, James thought. He thought you looked amazing in that skirt. But the goal was not to make you look amazing. James needed you to walk out of this dorm looking good, decent, alright. Not amazing. You were gorgeous so making that happen would be a struggle, but James was always up for a challenge. 
So he hummed, as if actually debating. “Maybe let’s pick a shirt first?”
Maybe he’d be able to find one of the shirts you said went better with jeans. You didn’t say anything as you started picking up shirts from the bed, holding them up to yourself as you looked in the mirror. 
“What about…” James riffled through the shirts until he found the plainest t-shirt from the pile. “This one?” 
You frowned. “I don’t know why I pulled that one out. It’s… not date material. Not making the cut. That’s a ‘Marlene nearly failed her Potions exam and we are not leaving this dorm until she can recite the ingredients to eight different potions�� type of shirt.”
“That’s a bit exact, don’t you think?” James laughed and turned the material over in his hands. “But I think it has potential.”
“James,” you said, putting your hands on your hips. “I am going on a date. Drinking butterbeers. Being in public. Give me that.” You snatched the shirt back and shoved it back into your trunk. “Back where it belongs.”
You sighed and picked up a different shirt. Holding it up to your body, James knew that it was too tight and showed far too much skin for tonight.
“Nope. That’s a third date shirt,” he declared. He sat up and started actively searching for something that would maybe tempt you. He picked up an ever-so-slightly more fitted shirt than the previous shirt he chose. “This is a first date shirt.”
You let your choice fall to your side as you looked at what James picked. It wasn’t too horrible. If you paired it with a nice skirt, it could work. 
“Maybe…” 
You threw James’ pick over your shoulder and scanned your skirts that littered the bed at James’ feet. James tried not to look too triumphant, which proved easier than he originally thought once he noticed that you were back to skirts and not jeans. 
“It’ll be colder when you’re coming back to the castle. Jeans’ll keep you warm,” he suggested.
“James,” you sighed. “James, James, James. Are you, or are you not, a romantic?” 
He scrunched his features. “I am.”
“Then, pray tell, what happens when a girl is a little chilly after a date and she’s walking back with her date?”
James pressed his lips together firmly. Of course. 
“The guy gives her his jacket. But! Do you really think Prewett is going to have a jacket? Too risky.”
You rolled your eyes. “Jacket, scarf, I’ll take whatever. I’d take the shirt off his back,” you laughed. “Or hold his hand. Or maybe he’ll put his arm around me. There are so many options, my dear James. And, worst comes to worst, I’ll be a teeny weeny, titsy bitsy, tad bit cold. It won’t kill me.”
But it might kill me. 
You picked a cute skirt and then held the shirt and skirt combo out at arms’ length. You tilted your head slightly. Then you shook your head and put the shirt back down. James watched you with bated breath. You scanned the shirts on the bed one last time before your face lit up and you fished a sleeveless top out of the piles. 
“I think this is it!” you said more to yourself than James.
You went behind the dressing screen to change. James was mentally schooling himself to have a nice reaction to how you looked when you walked out. It wasn’t the outfit he was imagining at all, which meant his brain might take the mean route and he was not going to be the reason you cried before your date. 
He didn’t consider that he’d be rendered speechless when you stepped out. You brushed your hands down the skirt as you took in your reflection. You didn’t need a reaction from James. You exuded confidence and your smile showed it. You spun in a circle, ending facing James. 
“What do you think?” 
You think that even if you weren’t looking at him, you’d be able to feel his eyes raking over your boy. Definitely a good reaction. 
“James?”
He cleared his throat and sat up on your bed. 
“You look lovely. Prewett is one lucky bloke.” 
He meant it. Both sentences. Although they were both lacking. Lovely wasn’t the right word for how you looked; it was weak, an understatement. He just couldn’t articulate it properly. And, as previously sentiment might have suggested, Fabian didn’t deserve to be going on a date with such a beautiful girl. Lucky… Fabian must’ve drank liquid luck before asking you out. 
The door opened with a bang and Lily said, “Alright, Potter, out. I need my dorm.”
“Right,” James replied.
He nodded and stood up. He pulled you into a brief hug.
“You have fun,” he whispered, and then he walked out, closing the door behind him. 
Forty-five minutes later, he was walking a handful of strides ahead of the rest of the Marauders on their way to Hogsmeade. James was a man on a mission. The others were there with half a mind to prevent James from doing said mission. 
“Watching her on her date is creepy,” Remus said loud enough for James to hear. 
“Not watching her,” James said, turning around and walking backwards. “We are going to just happen to get butterbeers while she’s coincidentally there and in view of our table.”
“Coincidentally,” Sirius laughed. 
“You’re paying, right, James?” Peter asked. “That’s why we’re humoring him?” he added in a lower voice to Remus and Sirius.
“Heard that, Peter! But, yeah, butterbeers on me.”
“Why didn’t we press for liquorice wands too?”
“Because then I would’ve come by myself and Remus thinks that’s a bad look for me.”
“Because it is,” Remus sighed. 
You had walked to Hogsmeade with Fabian. You were already nestled into a small booth with him with butterbeers in front of you when the Marauders arrived. Fabian was telling you about his little nephew, William, who’d be attending Hogwarts in a few years; having an older sister who got married right out of Hogwarts allows that to happen. You were listening too deeply to notice that James strategically chose a table in the middle of the pub that allowed him to see both you and Fabian. 
“Little Charlie is the wildest of the three. Kid never shuts up when they visit. But Percy? Percy’s a quiet little thing. Tiny too.”
“I couldn’t imagine having three nephews already…” you said, shaking your head. “Nice of you to babysit for your sister though.”
He laughed. “Like I have a choice? Molly and Arthur just drop them off with Mum and then she hands the boys over to me and Gid. What am I supposed to do with a baby, a toddler and a small child? I mean, Percy is about the size of a quaffle…”
“Please tell me you did not play catch with a baby!” 
Fabian held his hands up in defense. “I didn’t! We didn’t! But it did cross our minds.”
“James, you’re seething,” Sirius commented. “Ah, thank you, Madam Rosmerta.”
Sirius slid a mug in front of James. He robotically picked it up and drank. James was too focused on you and whatever Fabian was saying to make you laugh. At least the ginger was keeping his hands on the table and not on you. 
“You know, I was joking earlier when I brought up liquorice wands, but now I kind of want some,” Peter said. “We should stop by Honeydukes whenever this is done.”
Sirius shot Peter a confused look. “Mate, you can go to Honeydukes literally whenever.”
“Yeah, but-”
“Ah, no buts. We’ll need you to help rein in James when Y/N’s date goes fine,” Sirius stated. 
James didn’t even register that Sirius said his or your name. Maybe if he focused his hearing enough, he’d be able to hear what you were saying. 
“I could use a few sugar quills,” Remus mused. 
“Fine! We’ll stop by Honeydukes so you can get off on sugar.”
“Don’t act like you won’t be buying anything, Sirius,” Remus laughed, flicking some of the foam from his mug into Sirius’ face.
Sirius made a disgruntled noise as he wiped it off. Again, James didn’t notice. The conversation and antics of his table were nothing compared to you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you leaned in slightly, the way you reached out and let your hand brush against his arm, the way your hand lingered. It was getting more painful to watch the longer he did. 
James only tried to get up from the table two times throughout the night. Sirius grabbed his arm and forced him to sit back down both times. 
“Prewett’s not groping her, it’s fine,” Sirius hissed. 
Somehow you still didn’t notice the boys the entire night. Fabian successfully kept your attention. He paid for your butterbeers and you got up to leave the pub. This time when James got up to follow you, Sirius didn’t stop him. James threw a handful of galleons on the table and disappeared out the door, leaving the boys behind. He lingered far enough behind you and Fabian to not be noticed but close enough to hear you tell him that tonight had been fun. 
“I’m glad you had a good time. I really enjoyed myself too. Although, I’d say it’s hard not to when you got a pretty lady keepin’ you company.”
You giggled. Then you wrapped your arms arounds yourself – a telltale sign that you were cold. James called it. Just as he called that Fabian wouldn’t have a jacket to offer you. James wasn’t even sure if Fabian caught that you were cold. He ran a hand through his hair. He was growing irritated, especially when you shivered and Fabian didn’t even say anything. 
Then you stumbled on the uneven stone path. James lunged forward to ensure that you didn’t fall on your face. Fabian hadn’t even reacted. 
“Shit, thanks,” you said automatically. And then, “Fuck, James?” 
“You alright?” James breathed as he helped steady you, with Fabian now standing awkwardly a singular step away. 
“Yeah… Yeah, I’m fine.”
You brushed yourself off despite not having actually fallen and you shook out your hands. The trip had sent a jolt through your bones. James shrugged off his jacket and handed it to you.
“I told you you’d be cold.” 
You gave Fabian an apologetic look, but then you took James’ jacket and put it on. You muttered a thanks. Fabian scoffed and walked away. He wasn’t going to walk back to Hogwarts with his date when she was wearing someone else’s jacket; that would be weird. 
“Oh… I guess date’s over,” you said quietly as you watched Fabian disappear around the bend. 
“I also told you he wouldn’t have a jacket.”
“You did.”
“He wasn’t offering you his hand, didn’t put an arm around you. Maybe you should’ve taken the shirt off his back,” James deadpanned. 
“James!” you exclaimed, slapping his arm. You adjusted his jacket over your shoulders. “Thanks, though. Really. This is warm.”
And it smells like you. Yeah, you weren’t saying that part out loud. Especially being that you just had a date with someone else. 
Without thinking, James threw an arm around your shoulder and started walking back with you. Anyone who saw you at that moment would’ve assumed that you had just had a nice date with James; you knew how it looked. 
After a few minutes of silent walking, you asked with a laugh, “What were the chances that you were there when I almost fell?” 
“Just lucky.” 
“You just happened to be in the area?” 
James nodded.
“This wouldn’t be connected to you not wanting me to go on the date in the first place, would it?” 
He scoffed. “Of course not.”
“Right,” you said with a nod. Of course not. 
“Maybe… I was… making sure Prewett behaved himself.” 
You stopped walking. “He did.”
“But he’s not right for you, as I predicted. No jacket,” James reminded you, turning around to face you after having taken one more step after you stopped. He popped his jacket’s collar to keep your neck warm. 
“Then who is right for me?” you asked, tilting your head and crossing your arms. “You?”
“I-I… We’re friends. I was making sure you were being treated properly.”
“Friends. Right. Then where’s Lily? Marlene? Mary? Emmeline? Lucy? Madison? All my other friends who care for my well being?” 
James was quiet for a second. “I’m just going above and beyond. For a friend.”
“A friend.”
“Yes. A friend. I’d do this for any of my friends.”
“So you’ve spied on Sirius’ dates? Peter’s? Remus’?” 
James pursed his lips. He didn’t have a response to that. You knew he hadn’t spied on his friends. You took a calculated step closer to James and looked up at him. The proximity made James run a hand through his hair. 
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
You looked amazing in his jacket looking up at him with your beautiful eyes, and he could smell your perfume. 
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Is this just friendship? Fuck it.
James leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. His hands held your face against his and yours gripped the sides of his shirt. His lips felt soft against yours. You smiled into the kiss. When James pulled back, his hands didn’t leave your face. He stared at you with wide eyes and an unreadable expression. Your smile faltered slightly. 
“Was-” James sounded breathless. “-was that okay?” He swallowed. “Should I have done that? Was that wrong?” He let go of your face, took a step back and ran a hand through his hair and then adjusted his glasses. Then he started pacing. “I mean, you just look so good in my jacket and fuck, you’re beautiful and perfect and one of my favorite people… Merlin’s tits… I think you are my favorite person and seeing you with Prewett just wasn’t right, and everyone kept asking me who I would be okay seeing you with and no names came to mind and I just-”
“James,” you said calmly. 
You only said his name. You didn’t move. You didn’t do anything else, but he shut up mid-ramble. He stopped moving, completely frozen in place. You walked up to him and took his arm to place it around your shoulder. You wrapped one of your arms around his waist. 
“Walk me back to the castle and take me on a date some time?” you asked, looking up at him with a smile on your lips and a twinkle in your eye. 
“I can do that. I’ll ask you out properly too. Because, as I think I’ve already proven, I am a romantic.”
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tags: @navs-bhat, @faceache111
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myrammmortal · 1 year ago
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Chapter 41, porn = love
AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’
“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11
“OMFG Paul Shadow Omnipotentia Raven Face Landers r u ok.” He asked gothikally.
“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame’s gun. I also rememberd cing Richard doing it wif Snap!!!!111
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.
“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. You should know that you can only die from slicing your wrists with a steak. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy’s dad is doing.”
I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! James almust shot Luciious!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.
“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.
“I guess that’s ok.” I said because James hadn’t really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.
“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.
“Dis is…Hedwig!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Volximort. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. Or his wing I guess. He is an owl after all. And a girl. So I guess she broke her wing because she is an owl.
“Hey Hedwig.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.
“Lol hi stranger I have never met before but I guess because of your immense beauty I shall call Paul Darkness Great Mal Omnipotentia Raven Face Landers.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. Some would call them feathers. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)
“Bye.” I sed all sexily.
“Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.
“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).
“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Great Hall. “Cum on u guys.”
Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.
“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Richard is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1 Though I have no idea who these two people are anyway because I'm 16 and from a different time!"
“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.
“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod. Because making a gay porn is totally the way to true love! And if you disagree with this I will bring out the homophone again!
“Kool.” said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.
“Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort!” screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort’s.
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Daddy Till and Mr. Norris!!!!111111111111  
Daddy Till was carrying Mr. Norris in his arms and stroking him like an evil villain. "What are you doing here?!" I screamed all sexily and suicidally. "Do you think you can just walk in here and expect to be part of this very hot, spontaneous, true love, steaming gay porn scene?" "No Paul Darkness Elementia Raven Face Landers," he said while he was still stroking Mr Norris the cat, "I expect you to die!".
"NOOOooooOOOOooooo!!!!" I screamed, and everything went black again.
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pondslime · 2 years ago
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do you think Bo really fucking loves orange juice or was he just looking for quick sugars to counter the blood loss?? also why did he think to do that. does he think getting nailed with an arrow to the chest is the same as donating to the Red Cross?? does he know what the Red Cross is??? whose waffle is that?? how do u just leave a waffle in there?? I bet he cooked it once and it wasn't cooked enough. so he pushed it down again for another round and then it got burnt. and he looked at it and said "dadgummit not again" and left it there to be someone else's problem. and it was the last one and Vincent came upstairs and all the waffles were gone except that one. and he sighed and looked at it for a long time. and when he saw it again in the toaster while he's fixing his damn face and his dumbass sweaty brother is like "lulul god n mama n stuff" Vincent was like. I've never seen the ocean. I bet I could drive to the ocean in, what, four hours?? buy a box of waffles on the way home. this bitch is still talking. you know he talks to himself all the time. he does an Elvis impression in the mirror sometimes. it's not good. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to the ocean. motherfucker drank all the juice too. goddammit. I hate this fucking family. wish I was adopted like Lester. "there's two more." yeah I know. idiot. there were six. what have you been doing?? having sexy garage time?? christ you suck. how are we related. where's the guy with the crossbow I'd like to have a word. he needs to work on his aim. I'll put you in a headlock and let him practice. fuck you're sweaty you smell like ass. stay ten feet away from me please. yeah whatever I'll help you I guess. already been helping but it's fine, mr. never-leave-here-without-me. mr. mayor of wax town. I crush the seniors at bingo at the country club every Wednesday and you haven't even noticed I'm gone. too busy playing every single role in Our Town by yourself. moron.
JDSFHJFHSJHFSDJHFJHFJD MEG
BACKWASHING INTO THIS ORANGE JUICE!!!!
HEATHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when I watched this movie for the first time last year I entirely thought that man FULLY picked up a jug of lukewarm tang off the counter and just slurped it down. bc I missed the sound of him opening the fridge jsfhjhdsfjhdsf. and I was like GODDAMN THIS SET DESIGN IS OFF THE SHITS THIS IS REALLY HOW MEN BE LIVIN. HJFDSHJHFDSJ LUKEWARM TANG ON THE COUNTER
he's so stupid dumb delirious in that scene I've watched it 37874949328 times. just like. immediately deciding to YANK that shit through his arm hsdghgfsdhgfdhs. all of the blood that was channeled directly into his murder boner in the previous scenes has made him lightheaded and he is not THINKING CLEARLY hjdsjhfsjdhsd the fact that he doesn't think to snip it off. just PULLS that THANG straight through his stupid dumb idiot arm!!! the nerve damage!!! he is so sexy for that I love a dumbass man more than anything fr
VINCENT PONDERING THE LACK OF EGGO WAFFLES BC BO WAS TOO BUSY SEDUCING HIS TOOTHPASTE STAINS IN THE MIRROR TO NOT BURN THE LAST ONE JSDJDFHJFDS
sexy garage time is taking me out jhsdajhdsajhajsdhjdsh imagine all the years of vincent being responsible for the majority of the killcount bc bo goes oogabooga I want sum fuck on my silly goofy sex swing in my gas station jsdhjfdhsjfsdhj
vincent's turning wade into a wax sculpture and chopping dalton's head off and javelining a pole through paige's head and meanwhile. bo is blasting marilyn manson and having unsuccesful murderfuck preamble in his stupid basement jfdshjfhdsjhfdsj
BO JUST STINKING OF SWEAT AND VOMIT AND BLOOD and vincent tryin to maneuver himself away from him sdhjfdshjfdsh like bitch!!! I tried to check on ur fuckin injuries!! and u told me to GIT??? like I'm a dog???? and now ur sweaty diseased sickly self is leaning over me tryin 2 talk about how sexy u are and what god took away from me??? fuck outta here lmao
dsjhgfjdshjfdsh vincent playing bingo is so fuckin funny to me I'm cryin
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siriusmydeer · 4 years ago
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hi Gia, love, I’m so proud of you. You deserve it so so much!!!
🌗if it wouldn’t be a problem, can you write a blurb with James where the reader wears makeup and is insecure without it, because she has acne? :(
love you and your work so much
so bewitching
james potter x fem!reader
summary: james sees you without makeup for the first time.
word count: 1.2k
warnings: insecurity, self doubt, swearing, mentions of anxiety, insecurities surrounding blemishes and acne
a/n: thank u dear, and to anyone with acne, blemishes, textured skin, dark circles, and anyone with skin insecurities come here let me kiss ur forehead ur beautiful <3
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“what is it?” james questioned from his seated place on your bed, gazing at the creases in your bed comforter then over to your anxious figure; you had standing in the doorway of your bathroom for the last five minutes picking and biting at your nails, now, shifting from foot to foot while the wood underneath your feet creaked under your anxiety-ridden figure.
your heartbeat could’ve been going faster than a chevrolet from ‘79 from the built anxiety that was clung to your bloodstream from the moment james asked you if he could stay the night and watch those ‘muggle films’ you had been smitten with. both you and james had only been dating for a few weeks and best friends prior, but this was the first time he had wanted to stayed in your room overnight and before thinking you had said yes.
therefore, you had to take off your same face of makeup that you had been wearing since the brick of puberty had hit you in the face third year. the thought of going to bed with foundation clogging your pores, and your eyelashes sticking together was tremendously unappealing to your acne ridden skin that was hidden underneath your makeup.
“uhm, it’s nothing i just, i have to take my makeup off.” you stammered slowly as you burned a glare into the dark mahogany floor then looking at james pointing a thumb in a backwards direction. you were afraid i mean what if the boy that the boy that you had finally gotten to show your adorned love might’ve found you ugly for your textured skin. his brows creased immensely while diving into his mind in thought. okay... but what’s the problem?
you gaped into the same cerulean eyes you had fallen in love with for the past several years, his eyes sprouted in confusion as his pupils dilated at you, his eyes crinkling as he thought as to why you were procrastinating a simple task. james gestured to the bathroom, waiting for you to do so.
your breath trembled as you sighed in anxiety, your breath starting to quiver when you made eye contact with your reflection in the substantially big mirror, you fiddled with your fingers for a few seconds— maybe you could’ve taken it off and quickly put on some bb cream?
bad idea, if would’ve made to your skin worse. so you tapped your forehead a few times to disperse your fearful thoughts before quickly grabbing the moist wipe from the viridescent package and smearing the ivory wipe all over the ripples in your flesh.
the quick reddening hues becoming more distinct as your swiped off all the foundation along with other products that coated your face deeply. you felt embarrassed and maybe even ashamed, nobody else your age had this many pimples— normally they had a zit or two and they could cover it easily if it even bothered them, but you, you had to cover the reddening marks every single morning.
you didn’t want people to see your biggest insecurity, at first it was just something expressive to put on your face. something normally all girls did in third year or up, but over time it grew to be something so much more than that; and now you couldn’t even go to breakfast without at least covering up those pesky specs of red all over your face.
you looked in your reflection again, and boy did you hate what you saw. you assumed that james would hate it just as much, maybe even more than you did, but were your assumptions so mistaken.
you shook your head in an attempt to clear your destructive thoughts yet again, hastily walking over and sitting next to him on the creased lilac comforter. he zoned out of his thoughts, turning his head and seeing his dark-brunette tendrils swish as he moved; james was adamantly gaping at you, mouth blubbering like a fish and your face utterly bare.
you were so— so beautiful.
“what— why are you staring at me like that.” your question rung through his ears like bells, your mind quickly puzzling together the worst in extensive insecurity. placing your palms on the planes of your cheeks in away to cover up from him and his intense gaze on your face.
“you’re so fucking stunning.” james whispered, more to himself than you, but subconsciously grabbing your palms away from the apples of your cheeks and replacing them with his own calloused palms. he encased his hands onto your face, the rough exterior of his hands directly on the textures of your face while gazing at your features.
the pads of his thumbs directly stroking the ripples in your skin, the adoration in his warm eyes glowering over your face. “merlin, i don’t think i ever want to see you wear makeup again.” his voice was crooning, and murmured softly to you, he was so adamantly confused as to why you would cover your face. you felt the warmth in his hands directly on the apples of your cheeks, he felt your small smile graze your lips in his palms from the rising of your cheeks; similar pride swirling in his mind like pure elation and gratification, it was your smile that you gave only the gryffindor boy.
“i didn’t— i didn’t want you to think i was, like, ugly....” you stumbled off in humility, intensely staring again, this time towards your lap rather than the deep brown colour of your floor. his slouched figure looked at you in dejection— you were the most beautiful person to ever exist, how could he ever think you of all people were ugly?
you felt his nose nudge against yours softly, looking you deep into those same adorning cerulean eyes pooling in the cool shade of blue that you continually gaped into while timidity hazardously creeped onto your face in embarrassment of your confession.
“y/n, how could you ever— why would you ever think that? you’re utterly the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen, ever.” his sincerity spoke directly to the heart that had been rapidly beating in your chest, sorrow overwhelmed his nervous system at your insecurity. “i just— acne, pimples, scarring all that it’s not, it’s not like pretty on me i guess.” your voice was truthful while you stammered trying to be honest with him and pick the right words, not a singular ounce dishonesty in your voice.
“but it makes you so, so beautiful. you’re face it’s so unique, and makeup or not you’re still the most angelic thing that exists; and that’s factual i won’t take no for an answer.” he crooned, removing one of his hands from your face and sponging small kisses onto the planes of your cheeks, directly onto your flushed cheeks at his affirmations.
“you’re so— so perfect in my eyes, y’know some gits have other definitions of perfect but who cares because this is mine and too be honest mine is the only one that matters so, that’s my statement.” he added humorously, feeling the vibrations of your chuckle into his palm send shockwaves of your happiness through his blood stream.
“my witch, is so, so bewitching.”
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antichrist-starscreen · 5 years ago
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19, 22, 24
19. What artist did you know about before they got big?
Literally nobody I’m homeschooled & afraid of cars. I am one of the few people in the world who’s bright enough to say that Dead or Alive is better than Culture Club tho
22. What artist did you try to like cause you thought they were ‘cool’, but just couldn’t get into?
I always felt super bad bc I hate 80’s punk rock, the Kennedys, the Germs, even The Gits rub me the wrong way. I hate early Sonic Youth. I’m much more for contemporary/listenable stuff like The Femmes, The Pixies, Young Marble Giants....weird stuff I copped from Kurt but much more melodic than the nowave that ur supposed to listen to. I can say that I genuinely like Coughs & Suckdog tho
I did genuinely, genuinely try to like Captain Beefheart & Harry Partch this year, and Tom Waits. I have put so much effort into liking his weird 80’s stuff bc I think it’s very cool & inventive and I hated his early repertoire....And I like some stuff off Rain Dogs, like Gun Street Girl but sigh. I’m just not a groupie for him.
24. What artist do you think influenced your style the most?
I fake interview myself for this all the time bc I love tracing how I & other people have been influenced by various sources, I just think it’s really interesting that we’re all a combination of what we’ve learned, and it’s difficult to say. I will forever be a Bowie copy at heart, I think, he was my first love and I still have a very kind of cultish reverence towards him and what he was able to accomplish. I see him as The Ultimate, the greatest artist who ever lived. But I’ve also taken a lot from Kurt, just in terms of personal & political beliefs, and he’s been really really good for me because I’m always trying to create something because I know he was like that. He was constantly in action and I want to be constantly in action. Plus he was so big for me in terms of gender, he helped me access and become okay with the masculine side of my gender that was p obviously trying to show itself. I think just seeing him casually in nail polish or a dress was bigger for me than anything anybody else ever did. And then of course, you have somebody like Iggy, who for whatever reason always reminds me that I don’t want to die. He’s always so enthusiastic about what he’s trying to do and he comes from a background that would imply that he would never succeed at it, but he has, and I think esp this year he’s helped me develop a little bit of arrogance and idealism which I really needed in my personality again because you can’t really do anything interesting without those two things.
thank u ❤️
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sjbattleangel · 5 years ago
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My Immortal. The sonic parody part 2
Chapter 5
AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Robltnik shutted is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 playn gams! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!
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Robotnik made and Shadow and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
“You riddickulas dimwits!” he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Shadow comforted me. When we went back to the castle Robotnik took us to Professor Sleet and Professor Blaze who were both looking very angry.
“They were playing games in the Great Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.                                                                                                                       
“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor Blaze.    
“How dare you?” demanded Professor Sleet.                                                    
And then Shadow shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!”                        
Everyone was quiet. Robotnik and Professor Blaze still looked mad but 
Professor Sleet said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”          
Shadow and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.                           
“Are you okay, Sally?” Shadow asked me gently.                                              
“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the girl’s dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.                                                                                          
When I came out….Shadow was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room. 
Chapter 6
AN: shjot up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!  
The next day I woke up. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.                                                                        
In the Great Hall, I ate some cereal with milk, and a glass of OJ. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the milk spilled over my top.                                  
  “Hey Buddy!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic hedgehog. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have blue spikes anymore and now he had black spikes with red streaks just like Shadow and he wasn’t wearing red sneakers anymore. He had a manly look on him. He had a sexy Mobian accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that I nearly fainted. (except I didn’t. I’m not like some dumb prep!) 
“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.
“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.
“My name’s Sonic the hedgehog, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.
“Why?” I exclaimed.
“Because I hide in the dark and curse the sunlight.” he giggled.
“Well, I love darkness. I can’t stand light. It’s so annoying and happy, reminds me of those preps” I confessed.
“Really?” he whimpered.
“Yeah!” I roared.We sat down to talk for a while. Then Shadow came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.
Chapter 7: Bring me 2 life
AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Sully isn’t a Marie Sue ok she isn’t perfect SHES A COATKIK! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
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Shadow and I held our hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs to the tallest staircase in the school. I was wearing red Chaos sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Shadow. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Shadow. We went to the roof and locked the door. Then…………
We started a laying a big towel down passively. we took off each others clothes enthusiastically until I only wore my black leather bra and he wore his black leather pants. We went on the towel and started playing with a jigsaw puzzle. He put his parts into my space and I put my parts into his space. AND I WON!!!      (c is dat stupid?)
“Oh Shadow, Shadow!” I screamed while happily when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Shadow’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!
I was so angry.“You slime!” I shouted angrily, jumping out off the towel.
“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Shadow pleaded. 
But I knew too much.“No, you idiot!” I shouted. “You probably don’t want me in your life!”
I then stomped back into the school. Shadow ran in but fell down the stairs and fell out of his pants He had boxer shorts with really big hearts but I was too mad to care. I stomped down the stairs and did so until I was in Vampire’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Sleet and some other people.
“VAMPIRE THE HEDGEHOG, YOU STINKING CHEAT!” I yelled.
Chapter 8
AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a prep!
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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Shadow came into the room even though he was in funny underwear and started begging me to take him back.
“Sally, it’s not what you think!” Shadow screamed sadly.
My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Amy was kidnapped when she was born because Ixis Nagus killed her mother and her father died because he was depressed. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Rose. (Since she has converted to Chaosism she is in Class Green now not Class Red.) She is also half-Japanese and teaches me new words like Kawaii and Konichiwa. She’s my bestest friend evah!
“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Sleet demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.“Vampire, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Shadow!” I shouted at him.Everyone gasped.
I don’t know why Sally was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I’m bi and so is Sally) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Elise, a stupid prep. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) 
“But I’m not going out with Shadow anymore!” said Vampire.
“Yeah  right! Screw you!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Great Forest where I had lost my game with Shadow and then I started to bust into tears.
Chapter  9
AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn pla all da gams! dis is frum da teevee ok so itz nut my folt if Robonik shefs! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson slet dosent lik Sonic now is coz  vampire is a chaotic! MCR ROX!
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I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Shadow for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Shadow. 
Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He had long pointy ears (basically like Nagus in the show) and he was wearing dark robes but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was…… Ixus Nagus!
“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Nagus shouted “Imperius!” and I couldn’t run away.
“Cheese!” I shouted as I threw a chao at him. Nagus fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him but luckily he now had a new pet.
“Sally.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Vampire the hedgehog!”
I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Shadow had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Shadow went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?
“No, Nagus!” I shouted back.
Nagus gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.
“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Shadow”
“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.
Nagus got a duh-what-a-derp look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Shadow!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick with Cheese the chao on his head.
I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Shadow came into the woods.
“Shadow!” I said.“Hi!”
“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“No.” he answered.
“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.
“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Mobius Academy together making out. 
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myimmortaltotaldrama · 4 years ago
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Chapter 41 AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu christan potenza is ur proly al fakes and haters!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new season kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Nurse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’ “OMFG!!! Im back in Time again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly xXBleachXx. Blaineley wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. “OMFG gwen r u ok.” she asked gothikally. “Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from duncans dads gun. I also rememberd cing Duncan doing it wif Cody!!!!111 “No ur not dead.” xXBleachXx reassured. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how trents dad is doing.” I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! Duncans dad almust shot Trents dad!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that he had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew. “Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Blainleye reasoned evilly. “I guess that’s ok.” I said because Duncans dad hadn’t really shot Trents dad. I walked outside with Blaney. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi bi girl!!!!!11 she had blond hair and she wuz wearing blak iliner, a white shurt, blak shoes and tight white pants. She walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday. “Hey.” shee sed all qwietly. “Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno her. “Dis is…Kelly!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Blaineley. “She used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but she had 2 dropp out koz she became a rich prep. “Hey Kelly.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b. “Lol hi Gwen.” she answered. “Bye.” I sed all sexily. “Dat was Kelly. She used 2 b my girfriend but we broke up.” Blainey said sadly, luking at her blak nails. “OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!). “Ok u can 4get about ur challenge for now, Kelly. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Mess Hall. “Cum on u guys.” Trent's dad, Duncan's dad, Chef and Chris were all in da Mess Hall. Trent's dad woudnt talk wiv Duncan's dad because he had tried 2 shoot him. “Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Duncan is never gong 2 b frends with Trent now!!1” “Yah go fuck urself!” Chris agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt Duncan's dad had almost shot Trent's dad. “B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Blaineel good! “OK xXBleachXx and Kelly, u guys can start making out.” I said But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………the producers!!!!111111111111
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myimmortalgenerator · 8 years ago
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Chapter 83.
AN: 2 even revinty yr old stup flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!!!1111 fangz 4 da miskat ok! fuk u gurl after til I hav fuk up!1! raven fangz 2 supsd 2 kommit suicide help. fangz raven rilly bizzy. im suk frum no wuz r lik august ok! prepz flaming diz til I wuz and told me hate 4 da mysteries opinin koz raven u rok u!11111 ps PORT U!1 MCR RULEZ 666!11111 it go shes deprezzd n I silt ur preps PORT U! Evony it wait!!! I dnot lik augustin ur a fok u prep! fangz 4 dis il promiz tim sum1 hakked in in amerius! spellingland. “No.” he anserred happily. Well anyway we where Draco why did you ludacris idiot!” Draco. But where’d u get it, Hot Topik?” “Very well. If thou does not, then the room. “Oh my satan, Gerard is so fucking god, where………………..I said and the rest of my poket and then I’ll go fuck him wont you!” I said smiling. “But da balls. “You saved me from the place with that fucking bitch!!!!!111” Hargrid came into my room putting sumfing in da gurl’s room?” Only it wasn’t a prep. “Shut up!!!111” I shouted angrily. Just then he walked seduktivly outside and Snape said. “Gezz wut u have to but she was wearing white face of a gothic blak Nightmares about it was Vampire. “I dnot care what those fucking prep. “OK I’m gong with Diabolo.” shooted Cornelia Fudge. “YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled happily . We talked about Vlodemort away. There were there, we both said and den loopin did it wuz……..Profesor Rumbridge was there shooting two goffik men with long black hair n piercing bich!” Vampire shooted Draco and I made of bones with pink stiletoos. She looked at a signal to keep Satan was still upset. I slit his wrists while I was all ripped at da end. Then he flew away angrily on his chin. He had a sexy tite low-smut black leather minidress with all this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik!111 “Oh my fucking god, how did u know I love GC. I painted my nails. “You ludacris idiot!” I shouted angrily pointing to him. “Hey Satan’s gothic black GC t-shirt and black hair out. And den we were all fiery and I put on my Invisibility to Draco………………… “Tara, I see drak times are such prepz!11” Snoop yielded angrily. “Hey Satan’s gothic, derperessed eyes. “EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwith Snap?????” he said.
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