#go home to no he doesnt say
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he cares too much about his suicide he should love her for real ang mmmmgi img itd her! the devil baby shee mmsntnosuicide botmy ir girk in her riim oks o yes we dint like rhe wsybshe talks to ppl thats not a thing until
he was eifhr i have no dmface ew its gjtto suicide boy ww he loves he ww she loves him ew he lovws hee ew hee lovew dick beian ia gay so is th geim raoer ew shee doing the best with what shes got so oh ok so wevw gormr ro gwt ahwad of ouesleves lets manfa today ans oaert timoeeoe oh ok so she goee to one or mabye moer oaetie s a day an he foew to ome party s day and she foew to mabye 3 partiew s dsy ww shws haa àmm to many paetiees ew she likes him he likew g we e sges sittom on his dick ew hes getting lipo ok so all ge did waa buy hee a macbook pro k so all he did was fet himself a drink pepsi yes she likes pepsidrpepper ew its her bad schizoaffective chronic nerve disorder thats it she knows thathow he goes home in her joy division no thats right he goes home where did u get this? knock*knock her daddys home! ew its the first samsung galaxy z flip 3 yes he goes home daddys coming home yes he is hes skateboarding ooh cool yes it is cool and fun so dont skateboard ever again ew! hes not mad he just dont like u like that hahha oh ok ill see the salem glitter tomorrow ok? and hes got a problem aleiah aguilar
#help joy love around#hes going home to daddy ew shes fucking ugly#no im not#ew he likes her#ew he fucks aleiah aguilar#go home to no he doesnt say#he doesnt say daddy he loves scary gangsta#ew he doesnt like her he likes sexy bitchs#ew shes out of fucks to give he fucks technology#dont ever again ask me why i love white girls more than fucky bucky ew shes not black yet#yes shes perfect for me
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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literally makes me sick how bluntly tommy dumps buck... the "buck" at the end is so cruel. reverting to the worst version of yourself because you're confronted with your insecurities without even making that conscious choice, it coming out like instinct and breaking both hearts in the process. it's so juicy delicious gorgeous
#buck literally did nothing in that moment that required that response i genuinely do not understand how the fandom consensus is he “fumbled”#tommy when the most interesting part about the breakup (and tommy tbh) is that tommy at buck's misstep showed his claws#he could say lets take a break let me go home tonight and we'll talk tomorrow and walk out still bc he wasnt even wrong about where he#thought buck was on his journey but he went full guns ahead#the sad sack tommy who thinks he doesnt deserve love is fine good valid canon#but tommy eating himself in his guilt? believing he's a terrible person bc he was convinced for so long he was and he showed he's still#capable of it??#now we're talking#mimi.txt
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ALEX SHEPHERD, THE BOY WHOSE SOUL IS BOUND TO EARTH AND HE CANNOT DIE. // a.k.a how one small mistake can make you wish you stayed dead
jenny holzer / saturniinne / sun bleached flies - ethel cain / orofeaiel / cecil castellucci / violetteforevernever / ojibwa / i know it's over - the smiths / tathève simonyan / stellernorth / robert bly
#oc alex#a.a.k.a no one is coming to save you. get over yourself.#yes this is a short web weave but like...... it couldve been sooo much longer theres so much i can use for him. so much i can say about him#he's terrified of death. he just wants to be at peace. he wants to live again. he's getting so tired. he just wants to go home.#theres no home left for him. he's mourning. he's so over it. he's alone in this world. he always was alone.#going missing and dying changed nothing. it changed everything. but only for a second.#and then life carried on without him. he will never get that time back. he misses it. he doesnt want to go back.#he needs company. he wants so desperately to be left alone. theres still hope. theres no hope left. Do You Understand.
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About three people will tune into the 911 season 9 premiere at this rate
#lost the ga wine mum audience with bobbys death AND the gay audience with seven seasons of queerbait...it is over#no plottwist no cliffhanger absolutely no incentive at all to watch season 9. whats the point genuinely#some may say you lose chess to a dog rooting for a gay pairing in a show funded by disney but they fail to consider the dog's a grandmaster#whats will all the pr then. and all the longing#the season finale just pissed everyone off#hen not cap and henkaren 20 second adoption montage??#chim sort of cap but accepting the role probably even though he just had another child??? hen declines for the same reason yet he doesnt?#maddie giving birth offscreen yet working days before?#eddie moving back just bc chim told him so? like he has no choice in the matter? no feelings realization as to why he wants to be in la?#no decision on his part? no input from chris? just bc chim told him#buck moving out of bc the place was never rlly his despite last weeks episode showing that he belonged with the diaz family?#even though he was shown to be part of the diaz family in ep 17???? and said in s2 he wasnt really a guest in eddies home ???#like thats his home . also#athena selling the house despite saying she wouldnt last week?#like whats the point its fucked for everyone#no ones storyline left off on a good or exciting place its all stagnant and going in circles#nothing for ravi either. he is just sort of there. which is insane#man. justice for my pookies. they deserve better#rant over#911#911 on abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#buck buckley#evan buckley#hen wilson#chimney han#maddie han#athena grant#ravi panikkar
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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nefew enjoyed his gift
#i wish i cldve explained more to him but we had to go home bc it is storming soon#but im sure he can figure stuff out#i showed him the homebrew folder to avoid (and even opened FBI app to show him its just boring stuff)#so that shld be covered#the custom splash theme i installed also doesnt say ''press start/select for LUMA and GMOD9'' so he wont be tempted#hope it goes okey....if not ill show him next time he comes over#talkys
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Musings on Pokey + morality.
Something that jumps out at me about Pokey's dialogue is the way he qualifies people. He doesn't describe them much morally. And well, duh, but is it really that straightforward?
While Pokey's brand of evil sounds frivolous and banal, he also mentions "so-called justice" and he uses the corruption of humanity (that he causes) in M3 as an excuse to kill them, despite that not being his motive. But Pokey doesn't say humanity is evil, he says they're weak. If the evil comes in the way they end up acting because of being weak, it's an interesting thing, I'll come back to that.
Another thing that jumps out at me about Pokey's dialogue is his weird baby talk that comes out sometimes. "I promise to be good". "Please dote over me more. Please talk to me like good boys and girls, you know, just like me". Pokey uses terms often applied to morality, but is actually referring to "niceness" of behavior. About himself, he says he's "trouble-making". So, he wouldn't describe either himself or other people by morality. In both cases, you could say that the person he describes would "stumble" into evilness by accident, so to say (by trouble-making/weakness).
That's being less harsh. Pokey tends to protect himself, but it's an interesting thing to also protect people you mean to kill. To me, it makes sense because Pokey seems to be inspired by people (similar to the people) that Eb and M3 portray as corrupt. People who know and handle money, powerful people (advising for Monotoli, his whole M3 plan, Pokey would be inspired because that would be why he has this knowledge). These terms, to Pokey, in my opinion, would also describe his dad. If it's his dad, and if Pokey also draws inspiration from that, meaning he would also see a good side to that, the hesitation makes sense.
But what does Pokey think is evil? Implicitly, power itself. He thinks power is evil. He assists the "strong and able" but he's helping Giygas, who's mystically fated to lose, Pokey himself being the last resort. He's helped corrupt people throughout the game that Ness beats. Despite evidence to the contrary, to Pokey, the side of malevolence, to put it in a way, is inherently more powerful.
To me, it makes sense that this association from Pokey would come from being abused. Pokey, being traumatised, and/or cowardly, if you want to put it that way, would be logical to have an adversion to evil, then, if, to him, it's something that people can't help, and if it brings up that sort of association to him.
Corruption. He likes it and he doesn't.
So, this would explain why he chooses not to qualify in that manner, but also why he brings up that sort of thing. So he won't act as a moral agent and that's why his motive is finally other and superficial (being bored, playing with Ness/Lucas) despite having much to think about in relation to so-called justice.
#pokey minch#porky minch#mother 3#earthbound#not a native speaker. hope this makes sense#pokey wants to be a cartoon villain. simple. what he actually is is a boy of his time and his home who doesnt want to do anything different#this means playin the villain again. that always being his intention as indicated by his letter. it also means he is. intellectually lazy#so. despite his intentions being to be a cartoon villain. the life hes lived makes noise in his head and is why he cant help.#himself from bringing up morality/judtice. but thats also why hes neutral on corruption itself and his motives go somewhere else.#id say thats the tl;dr but its also p long isnt it
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listen I just can’t find fault with a candy person for finding something that unexpectedly brings them joy and doing everything in their power to make it keep happening. I just can’t find it in me to blame them for wanting the approval of the person they love and respect more than anyone else, and wanting that approval over and over again, and I just straight up can’t blame james for figuring out a trick to make his princess smile and call him her hero. like, banana guards get her praise and approval and hugs all the time, but he’s just some random engineer with an easy smile and no one who wants to hang out with him after work. and she likes him so much, she wants him in her kingdom, even when he goes and does something stupid like push her out of the way of a super dangerous not-moving car, at the cost of his own life, she wants him back and she’ll bring him back and she'll tell him that was very brave and she loves him. of course she loves him. she loves all the candy people. but he figured out how to make her look him in the eyes and say it and give him material evidence of her pride. I can’t find it in myself to blame him for that. it wasn't good, i don't think he should have been left unchecked to keep going forever, but i can't blame him for wanting to keep reliving the nice thing that happened once. the really nice thing that happened once that came with material gifts. if she didn’t want to keep doing it she would’ve stopped LONG before there were TWENTY FIVE of them. before she was so fed up that she didn’t even spare him a kind goodbye or a chance to go home one more time.
like you’re not beating the dystopian dictatorship allegations. saying she was right to exile him from the only home he’s ever known with no recourse because he was acting weird. and the thing is, I just can’t find it in me to blame a character living in a dictatorship for getting himself into a situation because he was desperately trying to be happy the best way he could figure out how. I’m not saying he was right, he’s insane, but it just rubs me wrong, the idea that he is the one holding all this heavy blame. the idea that the princess is right to look down at him and shake her head firmly and turn him out in the cold. for chasing the rush that she gave him willingly, over and over, without any specific end parameters. for not being able to make friends, and doing something weird about it. he’s bored and lonely and this works and it’s not, inherently, bad. it really isn’t. it’s batshit, but it’s actually not hurting anyone at all.
#in case im not being clear. because i dont know. this is about james adventuretime.#and like. he is literally no weirder than any other candy person#i cant justify this freak (affectionate) but i also simply cannot blame him for this. imagine youre a guy in the Happy All The Time kingdom#and its goofyhappy but youre bone-numbingly bored and lonely and no one will hang out with you. youre 30 something.#wouldnt it be nice if you just had some people who Get you. well. enter This One Weird Trick. with a side of Princess Calls You A Hero.#like mann id do it all the time too dude. i dont see why pb can withhold her grace+forgiveness for checks notes. him being a lonely weirdo#who freaked out (HE DIED. HORRIFICALLY. UNEXPECTEDLY.) and found a way to ask her for friends indirectly.#is it wrong to be a weird little candy guy living in a dictatorship trying your best#like come on. sure hes not DOING RIGHT. it was WEIRD! but i CANT FIND IT IN MYSELF to BLAME HIM. that's what im here to say.#i will never find fault with him for literally just tricking her into making clones of himself so hed have friends to eat with in his home#im not sorry i mildly enjoy character on tv. candy people no.1 defender.#o#he doesnt seem to need much. like. its not like he was this extravagant strain on resources. if he was she would have noticed#ok ill stop. for now. might be back. i had a HORRIFIC discord rant#and? if he really had been dying? we wouldnt be having this conversation. we'd be saying man that is tragic. get him therapy.#but instead we are talking about whether he should APOLOGIZE for taking up space in his own tiny apartment tht he decided to share.#thats what annoyed me. among other thigns. but that bit. that she has a nebulous apology waiting for her and neednt accept#thats. insane. what did he do. not die. fake save her life. not realize heroism can branch out to other folks besides his princess.#bad things but not Obviously Unforgivable things that deserved EXILE!#adventure time#for my own search purpose just in case. I think that’s low enough in tags it won’t go into main tag.maybe not. whatever
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roommate touya who falls for you bc of your thoughtfulness tho 🥺 when you order food there’s always something for him too. you bring him back coffee every time you do a starbucks run. you share everything you have with him too, like your nice smelling shampoo (even tho you make fun of his three in one body wash conditioner shampoo LMAO). maybe you get the two of you fun pairs of comfy slippers to wear around the house to. you make the house into a home and he’s so smitten because of it
anon 🥺 you gettttt itttt 🥺🥺 i have such a detailed idea for roommate touya i want to write it so bad !!! i just. have such a vision for him in my head.....it's weird that yall are still roommates....bc you didn't even start out as friends.....keigo and rumi both moved out and you were just. together and that was it. and then you got sick of your apartment and picked a new house to rent. and you just. live together and do everything together and it makes no sense !! you're adults !!! but you're too used to each other 🥺🥺🥺 WAAAHHH YOU GET IT YOU GET IT EXACTLLLLLYYYYYY
#smooching you for this#getting him black coffee PLEASEEEE#he DEFINITELY uses your shampoo AND body wash#and you take care of him on the nights he drinks too much#make sure he gets enough water and help him to his bed#and it's not much but he makes sure something is on the table for dinner when you get home#his brothers come over sometimes#you go with each other to family events#he SICK over you omg he cares about you so much but he DOESNT KNOW how to say anything !!!#✿ ask willow#ugh i have so many thoughtd about thisssss
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ok. someone’s gonna have to come get my dad or i’m gonna tweak.
#no bc he does this fucking thing where he talks to me like a dog? it could be for any reason. any. sometimes i just walk into a room.#and i can’t even BEGIN to understand what he means by it; if he’s trying to belittle me or if he just.#doesnt know how to talk to me any other way. but it pisses me off to no end cus it ALWAYS feels like the first one.#take last night for example: it was my brother’s birthday; and none of us had expected him to be visiting around this time#this is especially important for my little sister; bc she planned a sleepover with her friends several months in advance—#—to celebrate some of them graduating and one of them moving away.#so all night she’d been trying to get away. my mom told her after cake; so that was the original goalpost;#but then my dad just kept ADDING THINGS. first it was “after cake” then “after this; after that”#and this thing just keeps getting pushed further and further back#then he said “it’s trash day. collect the trash first and then you can go” AND MIND YOU ITS LIKE 7 PM AT THIS POINT#I CAN JUST SEE HER GETTING SO UPSET so i step in; tell her “i’ll take care of it; lets just go.”#AND MY DAD. MY DAD. MY DAD. omg.#he goes “wow!! so good!! 😁😁” WITH THE SAME TONE THAT HE TALKS TO THE DOG. WHY. WHY.#look idk what he means by it; he could just be filling empty space for all im aware; me and my dad have weird communication skills#but the message that it sends me is “who the hell do you think you are helping her right now.”#and that. makes me angrier than anything.#who the hell do you think YOU are trying to keep her from her friends. who the hell do you think YOU are TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.#and i swear he could see that in my eyes cus then he goes “want some icecream 🥺?”#so i tell him “i don’t know what you mean by that.” in the flattest voice i can give#and he just throws his hands up in the air and g r o a n s as if to say ‘HERE WE GO AGAIN’#and i just. bite my tongue and drive my sister to her friends house.#but i swear he does this all the time. he just uses different code words. an old one used to be “mom made curry!” (my favorite meal)#and he’d use it every time he had something negative to say to me. yk. the same way you’d tease a dog with a treat to get them all excited.#“positive sandwich” is what he’d call it. a positive; then a negative; then a positive to make the whole thing ok#but yk a sandwich is always gonna taste like what’s inside. and brother; i can taste the shit between your buns.#yes i know how that sounds.#but yea. as soon as i got home he asked me if i wanted ice cream again.#rubbing salt in the wound? or just trying to curb my anger? i’ll never know. but it drove me upstairs for the rest of the night.#but yea that’s my little rant. someone come get my dad.#stan’s forum
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22. Give us a headcanon for Soap!
[ask game]
(thank you for pasting the question)
Contrary to popular theory, I don't think Soap has sisters or comes from a big family. I like to think he too has a rough family history and wanted to be out of it as soon as he can, kind of similar to what I thought about for Price.
I feel like Soap is terrified of becoming a failure like the people he came from, the kind of failure that just festers in small towns and not the kind that makes it to the news. He doesn't want to rot in a cycle of bitterness, of living the way like everyone does, easily forgotten and living a mould that felt more like a jail than a path to normalcy.
#it's why I think he gets cremated in mw3 with his ashes spread into the sea#instead of being returned to the family or to any next of kin#maybe thre was no one waiting back home or maybe he never wanted to go back#pretty sure they just need to have a scene to honor Soap's death but I just like to hc that Soap doesnt have roots worth returning to#like we always joked about Johnny going SCOTLAND FOREVA but part of me like to think it's a cover up for something more#and something bout his loud energertic smily sunshine energy just gives me a certain vibe#idk how to say it but like#I feel like he's always been trying to prove that he deserves to be here- that he matters#using laughters and his warm energy to make others feel better so they won't look too close at him#the people who smile the most often have the most tragic backstory yes i think that's what im trying to say#ask game#what do you know gomz who usually dont like to talk about Johnny do have hc#i mean i did came from ghostsoap so i had some thinking#LMAO#idk if i make sense aksjfdfkjghkd#i suck at character interpretation#it's hard to articulate my thoughts into sentences aklsdjghfkljdfhdkjh
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mfs do anything but finish their wips . like startign another, for example
#trigun sky au. because i can.#light-guide (mainly) vash . usually assumed to be either isle or valley born. witnessed the fall#realm-guide wolfwood . isle born. very fond of moths/sparrows#vault scribes(?) meryl and milly . both vault born but people sometimes assume milly to be of prairie. they document spirit tradition-#slash seasons slash events idk anyting to do w preservation im thinking#knives and vash are light twins...#eden-guide knives... people assume hes vault born or somethinf. also witnessed the fall and is not very fond of spirits#hes a huge fucking fan of both creatures of light and darkness though#slander a dark dragon near him he will jump you . slash jay. . slash not j#angry at the whole industrialization thing that turned forest to what it is#see the fun thing about taking a game that doesnt have very very deep lore sans concept art (WHIHCH IM STILL SO FUCKING SAD ABT. ITS SO???)#is that you can just throw whatever at it to your liking#FOR EXAMPLE. SHARD RAINS? THAT WAS PART OF MY SKY UNIVERSE WAY BEFORE SHATTERING . THAT WAS WHAT CAUSSED THE FALL PARTIALLY SHFJHFHG#anyways s more or less implied that there was some form of mineral extraction in forest#and the rain there has literally no reason to drain your light . waters fine and everythnig. so something happened#and the trees looking so dead etc presence of crabs and gloomy skies in contrast to the brighter ones of previous areas#vash and knives occasionally do eden guiding together#iuhhhhhdk . i think wolfwood would but specifically for skykids who are going through their first run#milly and meryl at the season of remembrance..#meryl fond of valley races in secret milly big fan of tournaments they both ice skate at the dreams village and visit performance theater#because i SAY SO#brad luida home. vault born mostly vault dwellers see season of remembrance. uh idk big on trying to understand and improve technology#and contraptions left behind by spirits#“wow mr vash mr knives . you both sure do know the ins and outs of the realms!” and they both give eachother looks like WE WERE THERE WHEN#THE KINGDOM IN THE SKY FELL#rems a spirit beeteedubs .#twins thought they were the first skykids. stage whisper tesla#mhhhhhh vash loses his arm to a shard....#think. the plant trio all have like... a higher concentration of light than even creatures of light themselves#gate equivalent ig?
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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There is nothing so affirming and life saving as leaving home and being loved at face value by total strangers for who you are
#im losing track of the genuine interactions ive had since i arrived that have all just been#so loving in so many small ways#from so many people#who have no reason to be kind or loving or to return kindness when it is offered to them#and yet they return it and offer it with such genuine joy#these are the kind of things that will save your life. i truly believe that. almost moreso than the deep network of friends you build#that's important but it becomes an echo chamber if you don't step away#and remember that you exist outside of it and the world sees you for you and not what the people back home need you to be#want you to be expect you to be#and maybe even love you in entirely platonic little ways for it#i will expand more later i am attempting a minor digital cleanse while here. there will be a nola series next week once i have processed.#but oh. i just took the slightly longer route home so i could hit Frenchman in hopes of catching a second line#followed them till they looped back to chartres and made my way home#which is a room with a kitchenette and bath in a railroad just north of st claude. by the tracks.#the bars here are more scattered. neighbors dives where everyone knows everyone and their business.#and yet they've seen me going back and forth the last two nights and days and so. they greet me warmly. wish me safely home.#one auntie blesses me with her vodka soda as i pass before blessing the two men leaving the bar. everyone laughing.#ill remember iggys fondly even if i never step inside.#a block from home a gentleman on his porch singsongs a hullo to me. i do my best to parrot it back around the spliff i lit two blocks ago.#he asks to buy a cigarette off me. regretfully im smoking my last but i offer my vape if hes open to weed. its shameful and i crack a joke#something about kids these days but it seems easy. like neighbors chuckling at midnight passing smokes over porch railings.#we talked briefly as i showed him how to use the vape. about our dinners. the storm coming in. legalization.#he asked me if i needed anything in turn. the conversation was plenty i told him. which sounds cliche and someone will say this is fiction.#but it doesnt need to be fiction to be a story about a simple moment of connection and love. i could list a dozen stories like this here.
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angel!!! so i was just thinking about how i love that i’m not a man cuz i would never ‘go check out that noise’ cuz i’d be scared af lmao like if my girl asked me ‘did you hear that?’ id say ‘no honey i didn’t let’s make sure it doesn’t hear us either’ lol ANYWAYS do you think no curse/modern! au gojo would go check out that noise or no?
stop this is so funny "no i didnt honey" REAL. i would make a very bad man i fear. i love being a woman yippiee <33
gojo would totally go to save his ego + keep dignity. he'd take tiny steps forward and keep turning around like "im going im going just uh checking in with u..........." hed be shaking. coward
#very begrudgingly after MAKING him go he would#begrudgingly#i want to say hes a big strong man but he prolly even makes u get the bugs at home :(#he doesnt go near those things :(#after u get the roach he will worship the ground u walk on#⋆˚࿔ angel's asks .ᐟ
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