#goddamn ‘don’t repeat visuals’ rule I set for myself

[bipanicoverthegravessiblings]

soooooo, i don't know if you already did that and i just could not find or something, but i'd really love you to write something about julia dating the reader, like, her love languages, how would be the perfect date night, etc

there's not enough julia content for me

thank you so much in advance! ^^

You are so right about the need for more Julia Content

Julia x Reader

You cannot fathom the idea of anyone mistreating Julia

She’s just so- sweet. Even raising your voice at her feels like a crime punishable by death

You just wanna hold her face in your hands and squish her til she pops

But you won’t- you’ve been told you were too rough last time you tried to do that

The best way to describe the start of your relationship with her was….slow

She was slow to trust. Slow to allow you to touch her. Slow to even get into a relationship to begin with

But- you didn’t mind. You don’t have all the details of her previous partner, but honestly he sounded like a jerk

He never raised his voice or hit her or anything, he was just weird

Apparently he wanted her to tie her hair up to look like another girl

That’s where she stopped though

You’ve gotten bits and pieces of some other trauma though

Being harassed and stalked by an ex friend, and another friend of hers being killed and the body never being found

You just wanted to hug her when she told you that last part

When she did- you thought you might’ve died then and there

If she trusted you enough to let you hug her…it means progress was being made

As the relationship progressed, you started to see more of Julia

Not the timid girl you began dating, but more of the side of her that was comfortable around you

The side that would kiss you on the cheek, or cling to your arm

The side that told you about her ideal date over the phone one late night

“Why do you wanna know?..” You could almost hear the small head tilt usually did when asking a question. It warmed your heart to bits.

“So I can take you on it,” you exclaimed, grabbing a notepad nearby and balancing the phone between your shoulder and ear, “Now tell me, please?”

Julia hummed, debating whether to tell you or not, “What’s wrong with the dates we already have? I like them plenty.”

“Nothing’s wrong with them,” you waved your hand, though you know she wouldn’t see, “But I wanna do something special for our anniversary.”

“Oh shit that’s coming up?” You heard some shuffling on the other line, likely Julia sitting up in bed and rushing to look at her calendar, “Fuuucckkk it is! How did you remember that?”

You grinned, “I’m a genius hun, now tell me!”

“Fiiinnneee-“ Success!, “It’s stupid though..”

“Noooooo!” You objected, leaning back against your bed frame, “Come on! It’s not dumb! I bet it’s wonderful.”

“Hmm…okay- I’d…really like to go to a petting zoo.”

You blinked, “That’s it?”

“Is it bad?”

“Not at all!” You sat up a little, “What’s so dumb about petting a bunch of cute animals?”

“I guess I just worry about that ya know?”

“Well stop it!” You knew that wouldn’t stop it, but it’s worth a try, “Wanna know what you can get me for our anniversary?”

“Uhhh…flowers? Food?”

“Nope!” You shook your head, grabbing the phone from its spot between your ear and shoulder, “You can’t worry or apologize for anything the entire day!”

“What?!” She objected, “But that’s gonna be so haarrddd..”

“Don’t care, it’s my gift!”

“Can’t you just stay over and I give you a different kind of gift?…”

You felt your face heat up a little. Tempting as the offer was, you were stagnant on her not worrying or apologizing for something out of her control.

“Maybe next year—“

Your heart fluttered at the sound of Julia laughing on the other line, “Okay- okay…I guess I have a date to look forward to.”

“Yup! I’ll leave you be now, I know you’ve got studying to do.”

“Can’t I procrastinate more? I like you better than studying..”

“Sorry babe, not happening. Loveyoubye!” Julia started to object but you hung up. You can apologize for that later. You scribbled down various things on your notepad, the plans for the perfect date!

It was clear to you that Julia’s love language was quality time

She liked being around you, and indulging in your hobbies was how she showed her love

Whether it be physically being there, or calling every night before she went to bed- or had to cram for school.

It made you happy- seeing her this way.

Excited to be around you, comfortable enough to hang off of you in public, to let herself love you

And you’re glad she did

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Italy brings the rock’n’roll youth of tomorrow to Rotterdam 2021

It’s the final day of doing my yet again botched attempt at a review series and I’ve been dying to post my gigantic write-up for my newly beloved Italy, at the top of the bookies, darling of all hearts, ready to rock Eurovision, and even more! Vai vai~

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Representing them this year is Måneskin, a band made up of four - singer and possibly the hottest motherfucker to grace the planet Earth Damiano, guitarist Thomas, drummer Ethan, and the cherry on top - bassist Victoria, whose half-Danish heritage is the reason Måneskin is called Måneskin (= Moonshine). They thought of this name at a “battle of the bands” that they won, thinking they might as well change it to something different, but in the end... say it with me now

They have known each other since highschool, made a band in 2016, won the “battle of the bands”, started out making a living as buskers in the streets of Rome, from which they gradually grew through playing small gigs, and later tried out for X Factor Italia season 11, on which they came 2nd.

They went on to release an EP titled after their debut single of the name of the song above, including some of their X Factor covers, and later on got to get big through releasing an album, getting it certified all kinds of goodnesses, having singles from that album be popular, even releasing a documentary of themselves... they’ve done so much in life and they’re only 20-22 years old... aw man, the life is just ahead of them, for them to be so young and win Sanremo on their first try. (And I’ve always wanted them for Eurovision ever since I was aware of their existence, because their music is very nice, and they just feel like charming human beings. So imagine my joy seeing them announced for Sanremo 2021? And them WINNING months later??? man what kind of luck do I have even if just for a year lmao <333)

“Zitti e buoni”, the last song title alphabetically this year, is purely of the band’s making, and the lyrics are talking about not abiding the rules in general, how they’re out of their minds but they’re not like “them”, and how people talk but don’t know what they’re talking at all.

REVIEW

IT’S A PRETTY CRAZY GOOD ROCK SONG AMEN HALLELUJAH OPRAH WOOOOOOO

wbk I love it. Yeah sure it might be composited of something that sounds like standard rock riffs and what not, but it’s the ENERGY that goes into it that gets me more excited for this than for Finland, a fellow rock song of this year’s final.

Damiano’s vocals have the specific kind of rockstar tinge to them, and they’re very complimenting to the song. The way he says everything is beautiful, the “e buonasera signore e signori” line in particular is just a moment that shows the beginning of power somehow, I don’t know. The chorus is great, eventhough it’s just one line repeated but it changes the pronoun each time (going from “I’m out of my mind” to “you’re out of your mind” to “we’re out of my mind”) - MAGICAL.

And the bridge. YES, the bridge. Along with the outro it’s the best part of the song. The chord progression. The lines repeated on that bridge. The emotions going on. The delivery of the lines of the emotion. It’s a convincing little bridge, to the point that it sounds just as great with violins! Wish they brought one, because according to Love Love Peace Peace, nothing screams winner quite like a violin.

God damn to the Måneskinsters pump this song up to the maximum. It was originally a ballad song, and I think that’s for the better for them to present it as a rock song, because a Sanremo ballad in a pool of Sanremo ballads... unless it stands out according to demoscopic & press juries, and there seems to be a no better option at hand that could make them stand out other than just sending a classy ballad, it just fizzles out in a spectacularly lame fashion. Måneskin’s one real shot through was with a song that would make them stand out, and they did it, and they’re here.

Everyone has put in their work, their passion, their skills into this, and it shows off in spades. Måneskin themselves are fantastic and chill human beings, who too, just like Flo Rida, get to enjoy how crazy amazing Eurovision experience is. And for that I salute them with my whole heart. Whatever they do tonight on Eurovision, they’ll leave a lasting mark in it. And for a good reason.

Also an Italian Eurovision edit that doesn’t suck, once again, yay! (In their defense, they didn’t have a whole lot to work with, so they released theirs early - just a few trimmings here and there, and a lyric change so that they skate by EBU easier with their anti-swearing policies. Gahddamn swearing~)

Approval factor: FUCK YES Follow-up factor: The funny thing about this is that last year their entry is about making noise but the song was a love ballad, this year it’s a song titled “shut up and behave” while dressed in a loudest motherfucking musical setting lol. Fuck the rules! It was solely on the Sanremo’s last year’s winner Diodato not to send an entry he thought that would fit for Sanremo, and that’s good on him - he can return next year replenished as all hell, and maybe aim for the trophy again? wishful thinking? aaaa. Anyway on a personal scale “Zitti e buoni” is a marvelous follow-up from “Fai rumore”, even if skipping 2020 entirely, especially after “Soldi”, which was already a fab follow-up after “Non mi avete fatto niente”, and even from “Occidentali’s Karma” on. And so it is subjectively a good follow-up. Italy SLAYS. AQ factor: As I write this, the odds are very much in their favour, if not a little bit too persuaded over the fact that Måneskin gave a good rock performance and knew what they would be doing, or it’s just that the Italians like overbetting for their acts way too damn much. But nevertheless, I just wanna hope for them to break the expectations people set on rock songs in Eurovision and SMASH themselves a victory. Or a top 2. Or a top 5-10. Anything will do, goddamn.

NF CORNER

Well, I promised that I will talk about Sanremo in a NF corner, because this is the first year I actually cared to watch it myself, unlike when I would’ve sided with someone whose reviewing style I love in not caring to watch it, and usually just check all the songs on the last day lol.

One thing about Sanremo that I sorely underestimate is that a handful of artists on there can come across as very versatile, and the one song you loved of one genre they presented several years ago, can be completely different and leave you baffled for days if you’re not very familiarized with their discography and the Italian music scene in general. Which now I’m going to pay an extreme amount of attention towards following Sanremo 2022 on out because hot damn did I never see gems like Willie Peyote coming!

Did I call him a gem over his entry? Yes, somehow. Am I even sure if I’m being serious?

I think I can somewhat agree when I say that for the international fam watching Sanremo at least, “Mai dire mai (La locura)” was a major expectation destroyer, at least for the crowd whose main lookouts in a lineup like this years were Ermal Meta, Annalisa, Arisa, etc. You know they’re gonna bring a ballad, and their ballads are usually decent, but what about the unexpected? That’s where a handful of acts, including Willie, comes in for me. The bass hooks in the second the song starts. The beat is minimalistic but strong enough to slap. The steady rap flow is mesmerizing, paired with that somewhat specifically Italian(?) vocal timbre. The chorus is greatly catchy, and it is a sung chorus, with this song still being largely a rap song. The electric-esque guitar soundwaves interspersed throughout the song are magnificent and magical, and on the chorus they even make a constant melody riff that repeats and may get annoying on multiple listens, but I still adore them. I really love the bridge as well and all that goes into it. A fantastic surprise of the season for me personally.

Now I figure that the lyrics may hinder the enjoyment for some, especially the points raised in some lines that may seem questionable and shady (if this went to Eurovision and got a “twerking” comment on Youtube, I will not be surprised if the description of choice is “patriarchic twerking”), but am I supposed to be fully offended at some points of it if I’m not its target audience, although I see some of what I do nowadays in those lines? “Mai dire mai” is probably dedicated to the Italian media and the Italian trends and what not. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t win, because if it went to Eurovision, it would’ve likely been met like a lesser “Occidentali’s Karma” - catchy song with lyrics that fly over listener’s heads which might as well be very accidentally mocking how we live our lives.

“Mai dire mai” has just less of a memorability-in-history value and no memorable gimmicks (Francesco had a gorilla, what is it visually going for on Willie’s performance?), besides, it would’ve suffered even WORSE post-Eurovision-edit than OK has - a lot of the bits and bobs that pass me by but when I notice them they make a really great entry, but other than the (presumably copyrighted) removal of a sample from a TV series (spoken by a fish character, nonetheless), what else is there to remove???? With Eurovision’s rules specifying that brands (Spotify, TikTok) and swearwords (lots of the good old Italian ones that Italian radios would digitally scratch out to emphasize that there were a LOT in the second verse) can’t be sung live, the song loses some of its lyrical charm. And you can’t just go around the song like Francesco Gabbani chopping off entire verses full of content full of witty lyrics and a reference to Chanel in order to present the more lyrically singable-along-to lines and not let go of the long chorus to whom his gorilla can dance to. “Mai dire mai” is RIFE with lyrics, that’s what a rap song is. It would have absolutely fallen apart.

Also no one paged it as a potential Eurovision winner during Sanremo, at least seriously, and it doesn’t have much that would have clicked with the future Eurovision generation and contestants when they would be asked to name their favourite Eurovision song of all times. In a world where from Italy they really like “Grande amore” and “Soldi” and even sometimes could name “Occidentali’s Karma”, is there really a place for “Mai dire mai (La locura)” over “Zitti e buoni”? Who would be naming that song as their favourite of all time? If you raised a hand, you lie to yourself, because that would’ve been me.

Now I don’t know how many of the Tumblr fam would draw ire at me putting out paragraphs worth of me being ultra positive towards this song, because as I’ve learned, there’s an ironic and unironic audience for Mr. Peyote on Tumblr especially, but for me I guess it was pretty worthy, also a thing I was finally able to yell off my chest since, and now I finally said it, I will continue streaming “Mai dire mai (La locura)” in peace.

He might’ve not won Sanremo, but his song won the equally important Mia Martini Critics Award, and also, my heart. Rest in broken shards of the Boris aquarium, my sweet cynical prince~

Måneskin were my 2nd after him so I’m equally happy they won. But what about my other favourites?

• Extraliscio ft. Davide Toffolo - Bianca luce nera A diluted version of the liscio genre, still makes for a very fascinatingly catchy and swaying song with lots of great instruments that are violins and a clarinet. What I figure is kinda a love song. Their performances were also great, with lots of dancers on stage and a genuinely great fun to be had, and you may remember them more after their performance in cover night, which was titled “Rosamunda”. They were the ones with their main singer’s guitar spinning for whatever reason that was there to make their song catchy, I guess.

• Lo Stato Sociale - Combat Pop A little bit of a far cry from their glory heydays with 2nd place in Sanremo 2018, but they returned with an equally banging song and an amazing set of performance chaos they brought in each and every time - dedicating their first night’s one to making a performance to not forget (and being the ones of two to reference the great Bugo&Morgan incident from last year, the other being Willie Peyote), the second competitive one was for referencing politics, and so on.

• Colapesce & Dimartino - Musica leggerissima Sweet melancholic song with the shades of Sebastien Tellier kinda sound, this song may seem jolly at first, but the especially melancholic undertones denote that there’s something else going on. It’s actually about depression, as that’s what the term “musica leggerissima” (very light music) means. But it still found a heart in Italian listeners and the Italian world finally woke up to how great Antonio Di Martino and Lorenzo “Colapesce” Urciullo are, and a handful of viewers were slightly heartbroken to see it not place in the superfinal top 3. Who knows if they would’ve actually won over Måneskin. I just know that their rollerskater girlie is so damn fine~

Bugo has also returned but I think his redemption arc started off the wrong foot, as his return entry, “E invece si”, was a bloated showtune ballad and got obnoxious to listen to at part. I declared to myself that night when I first heard the new entry that regarding on what made “Sincero” great, I side with Morgan.

And a special shout out to Ghemon, whose 2019 song was more than just a “purple rose” unlike I noted on a last proper Italian entry review. I don’t know what expectations I had for him, but I certainly wanted to love “Momento perfetto” more at the first listen, which was also somewhat of a show-tuney piece, but with a bit more funk and pizzazz, also Ghemon was VERY much vibing with his song, and that made me feel great for the few other performances of it that I saw the following days. It’s definitely a grower song, and around 2 months after Sanremo I fell into a bit of a rabbit-hole of his earlier music discovering, and I may be a bit exaggerating but, give Ghemon a bit more of acknowledgement and a stellar enough song, and with a little bit of magic touch, I can maybe see him lifting the Golden Lion trophy one day. Don’t ask why. (also lovely music video for his 2021 entry, which replaces continuous spinning in an aesthetic area to everybody moving their body in a diner (hopefully with everyone in the MV tested and been negative for long enough for the MV to actually happen).)

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

There’s so much needed to be discussed about there. So I’ll restrict myself to the moments that I remember and cherish:

• Rosario Fiorello. Just. Him.

• And the gentleman next to him, Achille Lauro.

tw // body piercing

Belarus 2018 could never

Fiorello and Lauro are perfect matches to each other’s worlds of imagination, and I was more than ever glad to see so much creativity coming from each one of them, a host and a nightly interval act respectively.

• Once again, “Rosamunda Medley” by Extraliscio, I didn’t watch the cover night in its entirety but I think it’s good enough of a medley if it got a 3rd place from the cover night from the orchestra!

• Sanremo Newcomers section of this year. I liked or vibed to almost every song out of the 8, and I’m decently happy with the winner, but if there’s one big shoutout I really want to make, is to “Regina” by Davide Shorty, for it’s such a cozy funky little love song that always makes me happy when I hear it. My personal winner preference, but I don’t mind Davide getting 2nd! For as long as he gets to place 1st in a future main Sanremo event hihihihihi

• Diodato proving himself to be a dance king at the beginning of his “Che vita meravigliosa” performance, my good Twitter friend made a bunch of videos where he dances to a lot of songs, as per request, check them out and you won’t forget it.

• Since Sanremo 2021 got rid of the audience as per COVID regulations and much to Amadeus’s dread, there ended up quite a handful of audience related memes. Such as the penis balloon et al.

• Remember when Sanremo 2021 audience was supposed to be whisked away in a cruise ship for safety measures? Pepperidge Farm remembers

• SESSO IBUPROFENEEEEEEEE

The guy that sang this song actually has the same birthday as me, so in my eyes, I feel like he has some charm to it. I’m biased lol sorry

There’s way too many more but I am afraid of flooding my post beyond your readability interest. Let’s hope that, in an event of Italy’s victory or non, we’ll get to see an even more iconic event of Sanremo emerge come the future. <3

ANY LAST WORDS?

Måneskin’s big goal was to rock Eurovision, and I think they’ve greatly accomplished that by just... doing what they do best, and that is, rocking. They leave energy lasting for days.

In bocca al lupo, fam. You’ll nail it, and even if you don’t win, Italy shouldn’t not hail you as national heroes after it’s all over.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Last Jedi Thoughts

Everyone is chiming in with Last Jedi thoughts, so here's mine. Spoilers, obviously! Long and rambling and pointless discussion full of lots of spoilers below the cut.

In general I did enjoy the movie. I have some complaints about it that are really just technical in nature, a bit like reading a book with a good story that has a lot of spelling mistakes. You can still enjoy the story while you grumble about the spelling. And it's funny: watching the extremely negative reaction it's gotten from some people, especially fanboys, has had the effect of making me defend it more rigorously.

The one thing I was worried about was the characterization of Luke. Luke was always My Fav and the really important thing about him to me was his gentleness and compassion. I’m not sure this movie gave me exact the character I wanted, but like, I think I’m ok with it? It was different, and that’s ok.

Look, here's the thing. If you hate the new movies, and you think they're doing terrible things to your favourite characters, well, like, you always have the old movies, and you can ignore the new movies. Shit, you even have an alternate future laid out for you in the EU so like. Just ignore them. I fucking hate the prequels with a passion, you guys, but the prequels didn't ruin Star Wars for me. I just.... don't watch them. Ever. And I ignore everything that happened in them. And. I'm good. Like. That's all it takes? Anyways. The very best thing that I loved about the movie was all the playing with the audience expectations. (man though I think the stress shortened my lifespan. I'm telling you guys, if I watched Finn actually fly into that cannon I probably would have left the theater) Like. Man, I just about had a heart attack like three times. I think this movie shortened my life span. I really especially loved the plotline with Poe and Admiral Holdo, fuck I loved that so much. Guys I was just dying in the theatre when they set it up, DYING, my friends. That is probably my least favourite trope in the entire world, the hardass woman walks in like she owns the place and fucks everything up because she's a hardass, and the heroic rule breaking man saves the day by breaking rules because that's how it's won. I was dying. And Poe was WRONG, SO VERY WRONG. He got a lot of people in this movie killed. A lot of people. But like. It's not because Poe is a bad person. Leia AND Holdo can both see that. I really honestly think he learned a lot, and grew as a character. When he repeated Holdo's "spark of the resistance" speech later on I was so goddamned touched, obviously he has learned so much and has come to respect this person. I loved it. Oscar Isaac is a really charismatic and likeable actor but like, honestly Poe didn't have a whole lot to do in TFA. I feel like I know a lot more about Poe now and I like him so much more. I am kind of hoping the next movie keeps going with this "turn expectations on their head" thing because I really enjoyed it. Well it was sure funny watching Poe bullshit Hux on the comm, and funny to watch him get thrown around like the shit he is, but I'm not so sure... is it wise to set him up as the comic relief like that? I kind of feel like he could be a really sinister threat now, with Kylo Ren in charge and Hux ready to shoot him at the first opportunity... but I'm not sure I take him seriously. I feel like Hux probably had a job in customer service before he was a First Order Commander and that's why he's such a nasty little dogshit now. That sour face he has is the face of a man who has had to deal with a lifetime's worth of dumb customers. I can see myself as Hux in a few years... Ohhh that tricksy tricksy trailer, hunh?!? I was just about choking to death when Ren was in the cockpit and aiming at Leia’s ship, because!!! he presses!!!! the goddamned trigger!!! in the trailer!!! we saw it! Oh my fucking no! And then he TAKES HIS GODDAMNED THUMB OFF and I died. (well actually I started crying) Who else had a goddamned heart attack there????????? Rose was delightful. I wish she could have had more time with Finn cause they were delightful together. DJ (Benicio Del Toro's character) was just...... awful. Like, awful in a good way. Like. That character right there is everything that's really wrong in the world, everything that prevents us from being better. He's not "evil", he's not supporting the First Order because he believes it's the right cause, he's not even an ignorant asshole who doesn't know any better... he knows exactly what he's doing and he does. not. care. One of my favourite lines in the entire movie was Finn yelling at him that he's wrong, and he says, "maybe." Like, not in a sarcastic villain way like Kylo Ren telling Rey "we'll see" when Rey says she's not telling him anything. He means it absolutely sincerely. He doesn't even pretend he's right, like "oh kid, you're so naive, you'll see it my way someday," nope, just, you're right, he might be wrong. He doesn't care. That took my breath away. The porgs: I liked them! They were funny! I wasn't annoyed! And as for the stuff I didn't like.... welp, guys what I'm hearing is that you're hearing a lot about what's wrong with the movie and it's bumming you out a bit. So you know what, I don't know if I'm going to get into it. I do have some complaints about this movie but they're mostly technical. I have some issues with the plot and pacing, and I think the visual composition and visual narrative are weak, (and sometimes just downright bizarre) which is kind of a disappointment when traditionally, Star Wars has always been very big on the visual composition. There were a lot of moments were I was going "oh, that is a very odd choice". To be very honest, it reminded me a lot of the prequels, the prequels had the exact same problem. HOWEVER, the reason I actually liked this movie whereas I can barely even watch the prequels is that all of the characters are emotionally resonant, the themes of the movie are strong, and the playing with expectations was so delightful. Oh no wait, I do have one complaint: why the hell cast Gwendolyn Christie if you're not going to use her? What a waste. I'm hoping against hope she's going to be resting up in a med bay in the next movie and actually have some shit to do, but I'm not holding my breath. Guys I think I could have lived my whole life without that green milk. WTF Now here's some things I'm *confused* about. Why.... why are so many of you talking about Kylo Ren like... you seem to have split him into two people? Almost like Kylo Ren is this malevolent evil spirit occasionally possessing the body of the pure and lovely Ben Solo? It bothers me to see this and I actually kind of wish people wouldn't do it. It's all one single person, and like, that's kind of the point. Kylo Ren has fucked up, a lot. He's made bad decisions and has disappointed literally every single person who ever had faith in him. He feels conflicted by his actions though and hates himself down to his last atom. That's all him. That's BEN SOLO down there making these shitty decisions, and I feel like that's important. I don't like the character because I have excised all his faults and attributed them to some outside force, I like the character because he's complicated and struggling and because he has the capacity for compassion and darkness all in the same breath. I mean I feel like that's kind of why he insisted on Rey saying out loud what he had done. Say it out loud. I own it. That's me. And a monster, yes, I own that, too. I'm not your poor lost prince who just needs a hug and I'll come following you back to the Resistance ship. So guys, like, let's own it, too. It wasn't Ben's alter ego Countess Boochie Flagrante doing all the bad stuff. Life, and the decay underneath, that makes more life, right? I see some of you despairing about Rey closing the door and leaving without Ben, but I'm also a bit confused about that. Like... you didn't really think he would go, did you? This is only the second movie in a trilogy, and just like the original trilogy, it's ending on a low note with lots of conflict and unanswered questions for us to build up from in the next movie. Like, did you see the anguish in his face? Does this look like the face of a man who has lost the last spark of compassion in his heart, and is now ready to unhesitatingly rule the galaxy as the new Supreme Leader? And do you really think Rey has lost all that amazing compassion that she found? All that's happened is that she's realized that her approach didn't work, there's too much history there for her to just walk in and ask him to come with her. Honestly I agree with what a lot of you have said: Rey can't save Kylo Ren, he has to save himself. For as much as he talked to her about giving up the past, he is hilariously unable to do so himself. He can't forgive the people in his life for failing him, and he can't forgive himself for all the stupid shit he has done. He won't be able to go with Rey until he does that. I have no idea what he needs to be able to do that, or if it's even possible. I guess we'll see. Lastly I see some people saying Star Wars has become Pride and Prejudice in space. The comparison is funny but I don't know if I quite agree... Kylo Ren was haughty in the very beginning, but ever since the interrogation scene he's been pretty bluntly honest in his admiration of her. She's being pretty blunt about her intentions, too. And her journey hasn't been so much trying to see the truth about him, but rather becoming a strong and independent person on her own. The problem now is that they're both trying to convince each other to do what they think is right, so, as other people have pointed out, I am instead getting a JANE EYRE in space vibe. So we're at the part in the story where Jane has realized she can't be with Rochester and go against everything she feels is right, and she's left him to go and be her own person without him. ...the comparison is slightly worrying though because Rochester had to loose everything and also get seriously injured before Jane came back.............. (the whole "you're nothing" thing was... I don't see it as him insulting her out of a Darcy-like pride, I see it as...... a really big thing for him in this movie seems to be blunt truth. Yes, I'm a monster. I killed my father, say it out loud. Here's the truth about what happened with Luke that night. You know the truth about your parents, say it out loud. Accept the unpleasant truth. So here's the unpleasant truth she needs to accept. She's nothing, she came from nothing. She has no secret Skywalker or Kenobi parents who loved her. Accept that truth and then move forward.) So now let's talk about Rey, and let's talk about Kylo Ren. So, I think the big success of the Star Wars franchise has always been that all the characters are very emotionally resonant. It so happens that the two most personally resonant characters for me are Rey and Kylo Ren, and how lucky for me that the movie focuses so much on them. Rey just breaks my heart. She is so lonely and so desperately wanting to feel part of something. She doesn't NEED to be a part of anything, of course. She is beautiful and strong all on her own, all from herself. But goddammit it sucks being lonely. That wistful look she had watching Finn fuss over Rose at the end, "I'm happy for you but goddammit watching you makes me feel lonely" fuck man I know that face. Oh Rey. I'm so proud of her this movie, I'm so proud of her strength and her compassion. Man, she's a better balanced Jedi than almost every single person I've ever seen in any of these movies. I'm really glad she got to confront Kylo Ren about him killing his father, what a monstrous thing that is in her eyes, that a family was all she ever wanted in life and it's monstrous to her that he could destroy it like that. And Kylo Ren. I continue to be shocked at the development of his character, that an important Hollywood franchise would make a character so different like this, so emotional and vulnerable and complicated and downright ugly sometimes, and... yeah. My heart just breaks for him too. He has been failed by every person in his life who should have helped him, he's had no one on his side. This is a character who is completely fueled by his struggling and self loathing. Just... yikes. My heart was breaking. I was really interested by his thing in this movie, as I've said already, of being insistent on accepting uncomfortable truths. I think part of it has to do with his self-loathing... when you hate yourself, you delight in inflicting cruelty upon yourself. I think he gets a self-hating thrill out of being named a monster, and accepting the name. But part of it is...... accepting uncomfortable truths. Seeing things clearly for what they are, not what you want them to be. That's something I really personally value, and something I find fascinating about him. It's..... so, like. Lmao. I really can't overstate enough how I much I relate to Kylo Ren and relate to his struggle. With that in mind, I project rather a lot of my own personal experiences and thoughts onto him, so I'm sure it colours my interpretation, and I completely recognize that. But for everyone who was upset he didn't run off into Rey's ship, I don't think he's ready to go with her yet. He can't. I think he feels unworthy. He hasn't forgiven himself for his flaws and weaknesses. It's easier for him to hide in the dark rather than have it all exposed like that. He feels too dirty to be in the light like that. He needs some more time, some more character development. I think he has to forgive himself first, and he can't yet. It's.... a very interesting acting choice to have Adam Driver's face remain so impassive all the time. He took off his mask for the movie, and yes it was a silly mask but wow was that ever a cruel scene with Snoke calling him a child in a mask......... he took off his mask but it's almost like it didn't really help. His face is *so* impassive. When Rey is trying to convince him to go with her in the elevator, he has no expression at all in his face. You only see in the eyes what a furious conflict this makes for him in his soul, what hope and anguish it stirs in him. Obviously this is someone who has had it (probably literally) beaten into him that showing emotions will only get him hurt in the end. Well anyway. I'm rambling a bit now. He reminds me slightly of another very dear character to me in something else. This character, it is eventually revealed, had unfortunate beginnings and is actually on the path to her eventual self destruction because she is so angry at everyone, and so full of sadness, that she can't let it go. In the end she realizes the only way to save herself is to reach out and ask for help. She almost can't, because she feels she doesn't deserve it, and she's too afraid of the possibility of asking for help and no one comes. She does in the end and it's a happy ending and now I can never tell you the name of this thing because I just spoiled the entire ending, but I wonder if that's the key for Kylo Ren too... he can't bring Rey to the dark with him, he has to find the strength to ask for her help. Anyways. One last thought: It's really interesting how like... all the characters are really... really brand new. There's no character with an arc quite like Poe in the original trilogy, no character quite like Rose, no character quite like Finn. And then there's Rey and Ren, who are doing a beat-for-beat recap of the original trilogy plot points, but always with a twist. So we're set up with the scary bad guy in a mask working for an even scarier bad guy, and the dusty kid from nowhere. So first of all the bad guy kills her new mentor (so far so good) They have a dramatic first fight (except she kicks his ass and injures him) He dramatically reveals who her parents are (except it's nobody) Then asks her to join him (except she refuses) She decides she can save him so she turns herself in to the bigger scarier bad guy who tortures her, and he kills the big scary bad guy and saves her (except he still refuses to be a good guy) Well........ we've run out of movies, now. What happens next??? Honestly I don't know, I really don't know. I mean I would say that there's been so much buildup and emotional investment in Kylo Ren and his connection with Rey that obviously they are planning to have him redeemed, and the twist will be that unlike Vadar, he survives at the end. Then again I don't know. This movie was so hardcore about smashing expectations, and really hammered home the thing that you have to let go of the past. Maybe part of that is letting the Skywalker legacy die. I mean. Shit that also sounds equally likely to me, guys. I don't know. I mean I never ever thought we'd get so much character development in this movie either so like. I literally don't know. Anything is possible. Well.... there's a lot of pointless thoughts. If you want to chat about the movie, hit me up in my messages.

[samleheny]

The curious forgotten gem(?), Binary Domain

Binary Domain is a game. In this way it’s eerily similar to Dynasty Warriors, Dig Dug, and Checkers, among others.

Less similarly, it’s been sitting in my Steam Library for years since I picked it up for pennies during one of the holiday sales. All I knew is it was a shooter, and it was Japanese, and while the Japanese market doesn’t have as much of an appetite for shooters as we do in the West, the few they put out generally turn out pretty good, or at least refreshing coming from a development culture not as obsessed with trying to clone Call of Duty or Gears or War.

Binary Domain was developed and published by Sega in February 2012, by a team helmed by Yakuza creator Nagoshi Toshihiro. It received decent reviews but didn’t sell very well outside Japan. Knowing that Japanese shooters also tend to be a tad on the short side, I decided to install it and boot it up.

First impressions weren’t good. I’m one of those social pariahs who plays shooters with a controller, but while Binary Domain has full controller support, all of the button prompts remain adherent to the keyboard, which makes the learning curve especially annoying, and quicktime events (while thankfully infrequent) are a nightmare when there’s the added twist of having to guess which button it wants you to press. But the graphics are thrifty and generally look pretty nice, and it ran flawlessly on my sputtering old GTX 660ti.

The plot: It’s the near future, robots are totally a thing, but the New Geneva Convention restricts certain research into advanced robots. Japan didn’t want to play ball, so it isolated itself from the rest of the world and built a big wall to keep the foolish gaijin out. You are part of some secret small UN team (or something) who is tasked with infiltrating Japan and hooking up with the Japanese resistance on the inside. If you’re thinking that sounds plageristically similar to the plot of that 2007 Japanese film Vexille then you’re not the only one.

Robots permeate every aspect of developed society as an unthinking physical labour and customer service workforce, but one day some rando walks into America’s/the world’s largest robots company distressed and waving a gun around. He tears off his face to reveal he’s a totally a robo-man before offing himself.

We then get a delightfully Japanese imagining of what a secret White House meeting looks like –

-in which it’s explained that this man was a “Hollow Child”. A robot dressed up in flesh and blood and suspected to have been developed in and deployed by Japan to infiltrate foreign society. And for some added creep, these Hollow Children believe themselves to be human. That’s pretty dorky but fun. I was on board. But obviously you’re not meant to think about it too much or you’ll run into unhelpful questions like “This guy is established as being one of potentially hundreds of Hollow Children infiltrating the other countries for decades and then living their lives normally. How in that time did not a single one of them encounter a simple doctor’s appointment, medical procedure, or injury that would have immediately revealed their crude mechanical innards?”

You play as good looking, all-American Dan, aided by your meaty, all-American friend Bo. As part of an internationally coordinated effort to get into Japan, arrest the Mr. Amada, leader of Japan’s robot industry, and find evidence of his involvement in this Hollow Child business. After a fairly dull first hour or so spent getting through the big sea wall, things pick up when you join up with the British and Chinese teams. You see, at the start of every chapter you get to pick two team mates to accompany you from your growing motley crew. This crew eventually includes a flatteringly polite break-dancing robot with a French accent.

11/10. Game of the Year. Better than Breath of the Wild.

The banter between these characters is good. It starts out a little too Hollywood, or rather what Japan thinks of Hollywood, which is normally way to cringy for me but I found myself quickly warming to these people. They all just think you’re the big dumb American man, but they felt human enough in their performances that I was always determined to make them like me.

The big idea with this game’s combat is that you must earn your team mates’ trust and respect. You score points by answering their questions right (which is just a matter of always answering “yes”), coming to their aid when they’re hurt, and by performing well during combat. Blowing away a lot of enemies in a short span of time or pulling off a sweet headshot will pretty easily garner you praise mid fire-fight and yeah, it feel pretty nice. You lose points by answering wrongly (anything other than “yes”) or by accidentally shooting your allies, which happened a lot and every single time was their own damn fault! I would have scrapped the friendly fire mechanic entirely. And except for some quicktime events (WHY DO DEVELOPERS STILL USE THESE?!) I didn’t die once. It’s not that I didn’t get my good looking, all American arse shot off on multiple occasions, but when that does happen, you get a good generous chance to administer a magical first aid injection or if you’re out, call over one of your teammates to do it for you should you have racked up enough good will with them. And I really appreciate that. It’s one of the few things I unguardedly agree with David Cage about that Game Over states too often exist more for the developer’s benefit and not the player’s

You spend the first third of the game travelling through the slummy lower parts of old Tokyo, battling various flavours of “Scrap-Heads”, Japan’s weaponised robot soldiers. A consistent rule for all humanoid robot enemies is established early on: Shoot off one of their arms to tamper with their aim, shoot their legs out from under them to greatly reduce their mobility, or shoot off their heads and they’ll lose track of who’s who and start attacking eachother. It’s a neat system that rewards skilful play. The guns are satisfying to shoot you can feel the gradual improvements as you upgrade their stats throughout the game, but one area that suffers is the lack of variety. There aren’t that many different firearms, those available aren’t that different, and the game has an annoying system wherein you have four weapon slots, one is dedicated to your trusty rifle, another to your backup pistol, a third is the designated grenades slot, and only the remaining forth slot is available for trying out different weapons. Lame-sauce!

Enemies feel good and bad to shoot at since even the basic drones can take a lot of punishment and require sustained fire to put down, and they fizzle and spark satisfyingly as you blow apart their armour and reveal the delicate innards. But larger enemies feel a bit too bullet-spongy I think mainly due to a lack of visual feedback that you’re even causing any damage. And there’s one major grievance I have to bring up. There are a handful of especially frustrating boss fights in this game and when I pondered what I found so aggravating about them I realised they all had one thing in common: they all used missiles and missiles in this game are OP as all goddamn. Even if you manage to evade them they’ll still stun you and shake the camera furiously if you’re so much as standing in the same time zone as the explosion. And the seconds you have in between repeated stunnings are precious few with how much these bosses spam them.

At first the movement controls feel a bit slippery and sticky at the same time, but eventually I adjusted and had a good time with them. Perhaps the result of the difference in what qualities Japanese and Western developers value in a shooter.

The story ends up being pretty enjoyable for its good animation and performances, but I’m going to venture hard to spoiler territory now to talk about how my experience with this game got… weird, and why it’s a videogame experience I’ll not soon forget. So if you’re thinking you’d like to give Binary Domain a try, pull out now!

What starts off as seeming a pretty silly junkfood sci-fi quickly gets a little more interesting. As you venture deeper into the city and have more surprise encounters with randos who turn out to be Hollow Children and break down from the revelation, the paranoia sets in as you the player start to consider that for all these characters know the entire population has been unknowingly replaced with robots who think they’re human (again, as long as you don’t think about it too much).

There’s a cutscene early on, a flashback of one of good looking, all American Dan’s memories, wherein a young Dan madly beats the shit out of a servant robot with a bat, establishing Dan’s prejudice towards the robots that permeate society. But oddly, we witness the entire memory from the perspective of the robot, leading me to smugly predict the climactic twist: that good looking, all American Dan is a Hollow Child! Dan’s nickname (of which the game constantly reminds us) is “The Survivor”, so the opportunity was ripe for it to turn out that The Survivor had in fact not survived and at some point been replaced with a robot with all of Dan’s memories. But no. The game never goes for that low-hanging fruit, although if the misdirection was intentional then it was pretty well executed, and what the story does have in mind is a little more ambitious if nothing else.

Good looking, all American Dan and the Chinese sniper team mate Faye grow closer over the course of the game. She gets wounded at one point and Dan stitches her back up, confirming for us that she’s flesh and blood. But things get more complicated, for better and for worse, as the story reaches its crescendo.

You and your mates infiltrate the Amada Corporation to find evidence and extract Mr. Amada, the brilliant robotocist suspected of breaching the Geneva convention and building Hollow Children in the first place. You get separated, blow some shit up, reencounter your team mates minus Faye, who have some bad news… about Faye? No... she ain’t no scrap head! We patched her up ourselves! Turns out Amada’s tech is even more advanced than we thought it was as the real purpose of the Hollow Children is revealed!

Female Hollow Children are fully capable of being impregnated by human men and carrying a child to term. Children like… Faye! Completely identical inside and out to regular old human beings. This fundamentally disgusts all your human team mates, while good looking, all American Dan is feeling conflicted and questioning his prejudice towards robots.

Come the final encounter the execution starts to fall apart around a narrative that really had my attention. All nuance is thrown out and the script devolves into a pretty ham-fisted moral lesson about bigotry.

Big evil Mr. Amada shows up accompanied by Faye, and explains: He is actually an A.I. created by the original Mr. Amada (now deceased), and all he wants is, like any lifeform, to reproduce, and so seeded the world with fertile Hollow Children leading to 108 hybrids like Faye currently wondering around in the world. Human in every way, but fitter and healthier mentally and physically, drawing from the same emotional spectrum but more rational and less fueled by aggression. Basically just like the best, smartest person to be. The kind of people I’d think most of us aspire to. But Dan’s teammates immediately devolve into a bunch of completely unreasonable arseholes who see Faye as an abomination and have already seen to it that a special hit squad is deployed to scour the globe and terminate all 108 of this new breed.

I was experiencing this game with a friend and at this point I turned to him for confirmation that I wasn’t crazy for thinking everything coming out of Amada’s mouth actually sounded pretty sweet. He agreed. We couldn’t see a downside! And as the game locked me into a boss fight against Faye as she hurled her disappointment at Dan for being so small-minded we were screaming at the game to give us some sort of choice to make. I would gladly have turned on my arsehole teammates if that’s what it took! But as the game looked like it was presenting Amada’s plan as definitively and fundamentally wrong, I almost wanted to stop playing and walk away, so onboard was I with everything Amada described. But they’re just like “Oooh but humanity! Oh it isn’t human! Ooooh she’s no good for some reasons that can’t even be physically measured! Oooh this plan to peacefully end the divide between man and machine without even really altering the human race to any noticeable degree is eeeeeevil!” Fuck humans. What’s so important about being human? It’s not like it’s your usual “All humans must die for robots to be free!” no it’s a much more agreeable “We are here to breed peacefully with you so we may both benefit.”

All the right themes of humans mistaking humanity for personhood are there, but the game didn’t seem to have much faith in me. I can see how this battle would have worked had I spent all that time being conflicted on the whole situation, but I wasn’t conflicted at all, I immediately thought “Amada’s actually making a lot of sense. At the very least I don’t see the harm in letting this be.” but I was stuck in the in-game body of good looking, all American Dan who was all “Gosh, I still think I love Faye, but obviously we still have to stop this.” Is it Dan? Is it obvious?

From there the game sort of accidentally stumbles toward a satisfying enough conclusion, with Dan secretly avoiding killing Faye and letting her escape. Then the real final showdown begins as it turns out the US military have double crossed you (duh) and the twists and changes of heart start mounting up quickly and clumsily. There’s a hilariously superfluous sequence that lasts all of one minute wherein one of Dan’s team mates holds Dan at gunpoint and reveals himself to have been evil all along for no other reason than to reveal a moment later that no, actually he’s been good all along and this sequence is was absolutely pointless. And naturally Faye didn’t leave after all and  shows up to assist, and of course all your team mates are suddenly righteous and totally on her side even though nothing has actually happened to influence such a change of heart between now and five minutes ago when they were all overcome with disgust at her very existence and wanted nothing more than to execute her… It’s all a bit infantile. I love sci-fi and I especially love sci-fi that is daring enough to take the stance that a lot of the values we live by in human society are arbitrary and artificial, and this game… sort of took that stance? The right person got their way in the end, but not because anyone involved necessarily learned anything.

In the end, I was surprised and impressed with the majority of Binary Domain. It has everything you want and expect from a Japanese shooter. I am a little bummed out that the story’s nuance and execution spent the whole mid game rising in my esteem only to finish in a very turbulent landing. One in which all passengers survived, but a number of them will still probably want to file complaints.

[celestial-depths]

What’s Great About Cats (The Musical)

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Cats. The movie adaptation of the famous Andrew Lloyd-Webber musical premiered last month to absolutely scathing reviews. The critical and the popular response to the film has been so abysmal that it has become a spectacle of its own. Everyone in the world seems to have gathered around to join in the gleeful axing of this one trainwreck of a film – which is kind of cute. At least there’s one thing we seem to agree on in these divisive times. This is not a review of Cats (2019), because I have not seen it. I don’t care to, at least not for now. I couldn’t even get through the trailers without cringing myself to death. Still, I do have some fascination with the film as a cultural event, and I have found myself watching and reading numerous reviews and think pieces on Cats, both the original stage production and the movie adaptation, which all seemed to revolve around two major questions: 1. How did a movie like this get made? and 2. Why was this show ever popular in the first place? The latter question on particular has been on my mind. I should know the answer, because I was completely obsessed with it for a funny couple of years of my early teens – and I’m not sure why anymore. I first saw the 1998 adaptation of the musical on TV when I was 13, and something about it instantly struck a chord in me. I started watching it over and over again, until I knew every character by name and every step of the choreography. I know which cat is called Munkustrap and which one is Tumblebrutus, I’ve seen the show live a couple of times, and yes, I can even tell you what a goddamn Jellicle cat is. But eventually my interest in the musical waned, and I moved on to obsess over something else. Probably Neil Gaiman. In some ways, it’s no mystery to me why I fell in love with the show so hard at that point of my life. Teenagers tend to get obsessed over things they’re fond of, especially if they’re lonely. The show made me happy, so I kept watching it on repeat in search of a lost sense of joy. I have a tendency of becoming intensely invested in all sorts of cultural properties due to some part of my personality or brain chemistry that absolutely refuses to enjoy the things I like within reasonable limits, so of course I couldn’t stop watching it. And the show was campy as fuck; that’s certainly a common feature in a lot of things I’ve stanned since and before. So, that’s a part of the answer: I have an embarrassing history of being an ardent fan of Cats because I came across it in a time when I was in need of something fun and campy to escape to. But was in the show that made me like it so much more than anything else I might have caught on TV? That’s a harder question to answer, because I frankly can’t see it anymore. In fact, my enjoyment of the musical left me pretty much as soon as I stopped being a fan of it; just a couple of years later, I found myself looking back and wondering what on earth I saw in the show in the first place, because I could no longer stand it.

Revisiting the musical today, I don’t even feel any nostalgia for it. I don’t like the songs. I don’t find the characters compelling. The show is childish, but it never fully commits to being children’s show, which gives it a weird vibe. The lack of plot is a common complaint, but that one doesn’t actually bother me all that much, since I’ve always viewed it as a kind of a revue – but it’s not like not having a plot does a show as thematically empty as Cats any favors. The dancing is pretty good, and I quite like the costumes and make-up designs of the stage production, but not enough to say that I like the show overall more than I dislike it. So, what was it? Did I simply have a poorer taste in music as a thirteen-year-old? Probably. Am I secretly a furry? Definitely not. Is there a deeper meaning to Cats that most people simple miss? I don’t know. I thought about this a lot in the wake of the crazy reaction to the first trailer of the movie. That’s also where I eventually found my answer. I try to keep up with news about upcoming movies, and I first heard that they’re turning Cats into a movie right when they first announced it. I immediately thought it sounded like a bad idea, and I assumed that the movie would never actually make it into production. Then the casting announcements starting dropping, each wilder than the one before. Dame Judi Dench! Rebel Wilson! SIR IAN? TAYLOR SWIFT? IDRIS ELBA AS MACAVITY THE MYSTERY CAT??? At some point there, I started wondering if there really was something genius about the visual presentation or the script of the movie that was drawing all these big names in, but nope – even the news about the making of the film kept me reassured that the movie was going to be... not good. I heard that Tom Hooper was directing, which did not bode well since he’s not exactly the type of visual or conceptual mastermind (unless you’re very, very into unnerving close-ups, fisheye lenses, and unmotivated mise en scène) that a source material like Cats would need in order to become remotely interesting on the big screen, and because Hooper’s previous take on a from-stage-to-screen movie was pretty uninspired, at least as far as musical movies go (Les Mis is a garbage movie FIGHT ME). And then came the news about the state of the art digital fur technology, and I could already predict that the movie was going to be not just bad, but a disaster. The first trailer and the unanimously awful reviews only confirmed what I already knew. I’m not going to pan the actual movie because, as I said, I haven’t seen it. It looks too creepy, and I am not interested in spending my money to see what I imagine is the worst possible version of something that I already dislike. But I did see enough trailer footage to realize what was it about Cats that made me like it in the first place because it was so obviously missing in the movie adaptation. Allow me to explain. In the stage version of Cats, the performers are dressed in painted leotards, shaggy wigs, and ragged leg-warmers, and their faces are covered in fanciful make-up designs. The choreography is a mix of ballet, jazz, and modern dance moves with feline movements and hisses thrown in. In other words, the costumes and the performances suggest felinity rather than attempt to represent it as closely as possible. None of the performers look or act like real-life cats – yet the magic of the theater allows the audience to accept them as cats for the duration of the show. Cats also makes very good use of its format. It’s tailored to be enjoyed live in the theater, where the audience can really appreciate the big, elaborate dance numbers and feel the scale of the set, which usually consists of big junkyard items. The performers regularly jump off the stage and come out to interact with the audience, and they tend to goof around in the background during someone else’s number, which adds to the unique and personal feel of each performance. In the movie, wigs and leotards are ditched for CGI, which turns the actors into horrifying human-cat hybrid monstrosities. While they arguably look more cat-like with their hideous moving ears and furry faces than the stage actors, they also don’t look enough like cats to justify the decision to take the look of the characters so far. The rules of the theater don’t apply to CGI; it either looks right, or it looks wrong. And Cats looks VERY wrong. From what I’ve heard, the movie has also chopped down its dance numbers into such little pieces through quick-paced editing that it’s hard to appreciate the dancing. There’s obviously no audience interaction either, no electrifying presence of a live performance. The movie has apparently taken the show and stripped away everything that might have made it somewhat enjoyable. Which brings me to my point. What’s great about Cats? It’s not the music or the costumes. It’s not the characters or the lyrics. It’s not Memory. It’s the fact that Cats channels the essence of theater. It may not be good theater, but it’s definitely theatrical to the highest degree. It’s a show that brings out and relies on elements that are unique to the medium: the presence of a set and talented live performers, the interaction between the actors and the audience, the magic of conjuring up an impression that the audience believes in through clever costuming and movements alone. Take those elements out, and you’re left with nothing but an awkward group of celebrities prancing around to dated showtunes with nonsense lyrics.   

There’s a reason why theater hasn’t become outdated as a form of art, even though it’s been competing with movies for over a century. The two mediums are not interchangeable; there are still plenty of things the theater can do that simply do not work on screen. I’m sure that this isn’t the only reason Cats the movie became such a colossal failure (I’ve heard that human-faced cockroaches who were later consumed by Rebel Wilson’s character were also involved), but I like to think that it’s a part of it.  

I was pretty new to theater when I first saw Cats. Looking back now, I can finally tell that the thing that I fell in love with wasn’t the actual show, but theater itself. Cats introduced me to stage musicals, and while my interest in that particular genre has diminished over time as well, I did develop a life-long affection for theater in general. 

[builtinadaygames]

Games on itch: what I played this month

Hi, my name is Kevin Beissel.  I make game projects under the name ‘builtinaday’ and lurk on Twitter @builtinadayKB.

The purpose of this post is to cover some of the free games on itch.io, from a developer and fan perspective.  I'd like to make it a recurring series, maybe a monthly breakdown but who knows.  Like Douglas Adams said, the best part of deadlines is the great WHOOSHING sound they make while flying by.

Before we get to the games, I just want to clarify why I'm doing this and what I hope it accomplishes.  So here's the what, why and how:

The WHAT

Discuss free games available on itch.io

I've got a list of profiles to check out, but please send along any recommendations.

There are no restrictions on genres.  The whole point of this is to be curious and ask questions.  So no dumb rules like "No walking sims" or "No puzzle platformers", which would prolly eliminate half of the available games anyways.

The WHY

I want to become a better developer and playing experimental/small/art/trash games could help.

Getting an audience is hard and getting constructive feedback is even harder.  I can't help the devs covered in these posts with the former but maybe I can with the latter.

The HOW

There is no rating system.

There is no alter ego here, these are not 'angry' reviews.

These aren't even really reviews.

The goal is to focus on the design choices that were made and discuss the reasoning behind them.

I don't really care about being right, I don't really care about sounding smart ("Yeah, no shit" the reader grumbles), I don't really care about agreeing with you. I'm more interested in looking at the hierarchy of ideas (to borrow a phrase) that form game design.  By working at the ends and working in the middle we can find out more about it, right?

Enough with the formalities, let's get started.

Profile: Steven Miller (@stevenjmiller37, steven-miller.itch.io, 30 projects available)

Game: Calor

Genre/Style: Strategy, base building and combat modes

Strategy games are tall orders, especially as jam submissions, but Calor has plenty of good things going on.  The visuals are charming, the two game modes are fun, and it has some of that 'one more turn' gameplay you want in a good strategy game.

It sort of reminds me of FTL and X-Com, except it's also nothing like those games.  I still caught echoes of them, like an eerie trumpet call over a lost battlefield.  Except there's no sound in space, or so I've heard.

Hey, what spins faster: the planet in Calor or Hunter Thompson in his grave after I just mangled his 'eerie trumpet' line?

The base building mode revolves around placing resources (farms, solar panels, factories) on sections of a planet.  Every turn the planet rotates, and the direction can be changed with wind turbines.  Part of the planet has sunlight and resource tiles produce plus-1 per turn in sunlight.  Sun spots pop up every 7 or 8 turns and will destroy any resource on a tile or damage the player, but a warning message pops up when the sun spot is three turns away.

Enemies can't damage tiles but can attack the player.  It's better to move onto the enemy's tile and initiate combat, especially if the tile contains a resource.  Letting the enemy move onto your tile has a combat penalty.

The combat mode has two parts to consider: a top section with three bars that contain the enemy's attack and shield points and a bottom section laid out like a hex-style grid.  The grid has three starting nodes on the left and three ending nodes on the right with bonus nodes in the middle.  You can choose whether to use a shield node or an attack node during your turn, but not both.

If the top section has a shield in any bar, connecting to the corresponding ending node reduces your attack points.  So you have to plan paths that pick up as many bonus nodes as possible and avoid ending on a penalized node.

Both modes are good and it would be cool to see them expanded on.  There's a few things I'm curious about though, like the attack only/shield only choice you have to make in combat.

If you start a fight with low health, the enemy will prolly wipe you out with one attack.  So I suppose the design incentivizes you to keep moving away from the enemy until your health is refilled during the base building mode, then turn around and engage.  I just wish there was away to use both a shield node and an attack node on the same turn.  I know upgrade systems can be tricky and usually avoid them in my projects, but this ability would be a great addition.

Forgive me if there is this ability, but I'm pretty sure there isn't.

And I gotta ask: if you can't combine the abilities, then what's the point of including a shield option at all?  If you're low on health to start, using the shield just creates an endless loop of defensive turns.  Does health regenerate between turns in combat or only outside of combat?  Could I block the enemy's attack enough times until I'm healed and then switch to attack nodes?  What am I missing here?

I know that sounds negative, but I swear it's just curiosity.  Calor is fun to play and also gave me some challenging design questions to consider.  There are plenty of games that fail to do either of those things.

Game: Capture Horizon

Genre/Style: Puzzle platformer, side-scroller

This is a puzzle platformer that requires you to manipulate the level by taking photos of it and arranging them to form a path to the exit.  I played Camera Obscura on Steam, which uses a simiilar idea, and it's a cool concept.  I like that it relies on spatial design/reasoning skills, instead of using oblique hints to solve unfair challenges based on muddy logic/lazy rulesets.

The photo taking/placing mechanic is easy to understand.  You can't take a new photo while on an existing one and you can have up to three at a time.  It seems simple but I quickly became stumped, especially on levels five and six.

The platforming is OK, but it leads to many cheap deaths.  Most levels have two sections you need to reach; the first is relatively easy and the second is much harder.  The harder section requires a lot of trial and error, due to both photo placement and jumping issues, which means you have to redo the easy section a lot of times which is tedious.

Traditional difficulty progression states that a level should have an ascending scale of difficulty, not a descending scale.  But for short, self-contained levels like this, inverting that formula might have worked well.

And since we are here to inquire within about everything and not here to disparage, let's consider some alternative solutions to this problem:

New speed setting:  I hate when people suggest new settings for traversal speeds in my own work, because there is usually a bunch of connected factors to consider/change that they aren't aware of.  What sounds like a small tweak is actually a much larger change.

So, even tho I hate being THAT GUY, I too often found myself running right off of a platform or, even worse, jumping way too early to compensate for the fast movement.  A walk/run control setup might have fit nicely.

Change the jump mechanic:  Something like the style of jumping used in Gunpoint would have made the platforming simpler, but much more satisfying.  For those who don't know, the Gunpoint-style allows the player to activate a jumping stance, adjust the height/distance of the jump and then confirm or cancel the jump.

This style would eliminate most of the frustrating trial and error sections.  You could place a photo and test whether your jump could reach it, instead of placing a photo and jumping one pixel short and having to retry the whole level.

What helpful advice, huh?  "Ripoff a more popular game to make your own work seem better" is just about the most lazy advice you could give an artist.  And yet here I am, handing out shopworn cliches faster than Michiko Kakutani.  So where the hell is my goddamn Pulitzer?

Game: Entropy

Genre/Style: Roguelike, 8-bit isometric view

Lately I've been seeking out games that put a strong emphasis on combat, like "Superhot" or "Deadbolt".  Roguelikes usually have a heavy emphasis on combat and Entropy certainly does.

You have a fast-moving, low-damage ranged shot that repeats quickly but you can charge up a power shot.  The charged shot literally turns you into a bullet, and can be used offesnsively or defensively.  You could knock out a powerful enemy or escape from a crowd by firing to a safe spot.  You can also use the charge shot for traversal, usually shooting across gaps filled with spikes.

If I could transform into anything, I'd transform into a machine that could make ANYTHING.  I would make anything then transform back into myself and enjoy whatever (or whoever) I just made.  That might seem like an awfully large loophole, a loophole so large you could drive a Pagani Zonda thru it.  A carbon-fiber supercar loaded with guns, cash, and women (or MEN) you made in your ANYTHING machine.

But what are you?  A lawyer?  I don't remember making any of those in that ANYTHING machine.

Or you could turn into a bullet.  That is also a pretty cool thing to do.

The character movement speeds are nicely balanced.  Strafing a lone enemy is fun and juggling large crowds is intuitive.  Some enemies felt like bullet sponges, but I wasn't using the charge shot enough.  Moving around till I had space and time to get it off made those enemies easier to deal with.  The enemy design is good too, with variations in size/speed/strength that feel balanced.  They have a nice spectral, eerie look to them.

The game also opens with a short cutscene.  My favorite part was the "standing" animations.  All the characters constantly bounce up and down, which is fun to watch.  I love this choice.  Animations more sophisticated than this aren't really the point of LD jams and if they stood still that would be boring, so it's a nicely off beat decision.

The one minor problem I had was the reticle color.  It's green, which would be fine except some levels have patches of grass that make it hard to track the reticle.  Otherwise, the game has the color palette nicely split up between player, enemy and enviromental assets.

Remember:  Split up the colors, but don't split up your pants!  Why do people breath in when trying to squeeze into jeans?  If you breath out you get thinner, or at least that's what my bitchy mother-in-law keeps telling me.  I get it, Joan!  Also, get Entropy and shoot stuff.

Profile: Tooth and Claw (Dan McGrath, @daninfiction, toothandclaw.itch.io, 24 projects available)

Game: Valley of the Moon

Genre/Style: Walking sim, puzzle

You are supposed to collect four relics to reactivate your ship and leave the planet.  Despite the walking sim label, there's a couple of nice platforming sections too.  But the real point of this type of game is to create a distinct atmosphere, a space worth getting lost in.

Of all the games in this post, this is the one that gave me the purest moment, or at least the type of moment you can really only get with a videogame.  The game starts up and I see a nearby building with a large door.  Since its a puzzle game and I've just started, I assumed the door was locked.  But I went over anyways, intent on asking one of the fundamental questions videogames can offer: "Can I do that?"

Turns out, I could do that.  The door popped open, and I got a little thrill out of it.  Seems silly maybe, that something so simple could feel that rewarding, but it did.

Inside the building is one of the relics and another nicely put together moment.  You climb the final step and see a platform with a relic on it, and a giant orange moon lined up right above it.  The symmetry of the relic and moon is really nice and its a striking visual moment.

The only question I would ask is about the ending:  Why not try something wild or unexpected, something totally abstract or bizarre?

I don't mean this as a criticism, because it's quite good and I'm glad I played it, it's just a question.

If you've played other walking sims all the way through, like "Dear Esther" for example, then you know how a surprising and offbeat ending can really resonate with the right type of players.  I happen to really like the way that "Esther" ends, and can more strongly recall that odd, poetic moment better than I can recall some of the other supposedly famous moments in recent games.

A unique and challenging ending can make a lasting impression on the player and, whether they loved or hated it, that player will remember your work.

So, in the case of this game, why not do something more eccentric?  Like when you take off and leave this peaceful planet behind you end up crashing onto an uninhabitable, hostile planet?  Or you take off and safely land on a new planet, only to find out its exactly like the one you left?  Is that too 'Twilight Zone' for you?

Or maybe you take off and turn into a freaking Star Child?  Then the Star Child grows up and becomes Galactus?

Anyways, that's what happens when you leave the audience hanging.  They start out reasonable enough and end up arguing about Galactus and his big, dumb headgear.

The point being: not every game needs a meaningful or profound or abstract ending, but some do.

Game: Zealot

Genre/Style: FPS, looks like a 90s shareware game

Other Info: made in 3 days

This is a dope throwback to shareware-era FPS games.  Zealot is like a resurrected title from this era, with glorious visuals and punishing combat.

There was a wider range of titles than most people remember, mainly because the iconic titles of the time (DOOM, HEXEN) loom so large.  I was flipping thru an old PC game magazine (prolly circa 1995) and there was pages and pages of ads for obscure shareware titles, some looking totally generic and others beyond bizarre.  I prolly spent more time looking at those ads recently than I did when those games came out.  Sorry, marketing geniuses!

There was also an article about how advanced stats would become important in sports.  Something about how coaches, players, fans, journalists and gamblers would be interested in new ways to analyze performance and predict outcomes.  Who would have thought?  You know besides Paul Allen and his 300-foot yact and his investment stake in STATS LLC.  Also, fuck Paul Allen, fuck his yact, fuck his Dorsia reservations, and fuck me while we're at it.

But don't fuck Zealot!  Do play Zealot, it's quite fun.  You run and jump around on a floating platform blowing up various types of demons.  You play until you die.  My best time was 74.67176 seconds.  It was much more fun once I realized I could hold down the attack button to autofire, which seems obvious but hey, if you're so smart how about you come over and unclog this drain?  I've tried nothing man, and I'm all out of ideas.

Thankfully Dan McGrath isn't out of ideas, tho!  And Zealot is a pretty good idea.  I've never had a bad idea.  I've had great ideas that turned out horribly wrong, but never any BAD ideas.  I've also stolen ideas/entire jokes from 30 Rock, but Dan McGrath hasn't yet!

Profile: Trasevol Dog (@TRASEVOL_DOG, trasevol-dog.itch.io, 24 projects available)

Game: Blast Flock

Genre/Style: similar to Luftrausers, but more colorful

This is the profile to check out if you like games with bright color palettes and visuals that really pop off the screen.  It helps that the gameplay is excellent, too.

And hey, people who care soooo much about what engine a dev uses: this game wasn't made with Unity, so try to find something else to complain about.

Blast Flock is a variation on Luftrausers, which is an OK game.  I really wanted to like Luftrausers, but whenever I play it I'm always left with the same two questions:  Where is the rest of the game and how come it isn't more fun?

Luftrausers felt like it was all about keeping your multiplier at 20 which feels like a chore, like an uncreative grind.  I was more interested in finding fun and interesting ways to attack enemies, especially since it had such great body/weapon/engine variety.  It felt like they incentivized creative approaches, but instead only rewarded you for following a narrow path.

Well, Blast Flock doesn't have more content, but it certainly is more fun.  The controls are intuitive and allow for a lot of experimentation.  Your group of ships always flies towards the reticle, with fire and boost mapped to lmb/rmb.  You can shoot down enemies and save them as they fall, expanding your group.

Building your squadron up and tearing thru a huge group of enemies at top speed with guns blazing feels so great.  Whipping the mouse around the screen and creating total chaos also feels great, like orchestrating your own bullet hell symphony.

Or you could conduct a symphony of the night.  But how the hell am I supposed to read music in the dark?  My conductor baton glows in the dark, but I don't want people to know that.  It only does that in case I drop it during a performance and have to find it on the ground real quick.  Symphony of the night?  How about a 'symphony of the comfortable recliner' instead?  Or ‘symphony of the better jokes’?

Thanks for reading!  If you liked this then maybe check out my itch profile, too.