#going and when it is going. they need to EXPERIENCE the road (Se) to predict. he was using data to predict (Si-esque).

[bat-the-misfit]

sei não

[hoursofreading]

Four decades ago, in the Stanford University laboratory of Walter Mischel, preschool-age children were left alone in a room after having been told they could get a small treat (say, a marshmallow) by ringing a bell at any time to summon the experimenter — or, if they held out until he returned on his own, they could have a bigger treat (two marshmallows).  As the results of this experiment are usually summarized, the children who were able to wait scored better on measures of cognitive and social skills about a decade later and also had higher SAT scores.  The lesson is simple, as conservative commentators tell the story:  We ought to focus less on “structural reforms” to improve education or reduce poverty, and look instead at traits possessed by individuals – specifically, the ability to exert good old-fashioned self-control.[37] But the real story of these studies is a good deal more complicated.  For starters, the causal relationship wasn’t at all clear, as Mischel acknowledged.   The ability to delay gratification might not have been responsible for the impressive qualities found ten years later; instead, both may have resulted from the same kind of home environment.[38] Second, what mostly interested Mischel wasn’t whether children could wait for a bigger treat – which, by the way, most of them could[39] – and whether waiters fared better in life than non-waiters, but how children go about trying to wait and which strategies help.  It turned out that kids waited longer when they were distracted by a toy.  What worked best wasn’t “self-denial and grim determination” but doing something enjoyable while waiting so that self-control wasn’t needed at all![40] Third, the specifics of the situation – that is, the design of each experiment – were more important than the personality of a given child in predicting the outcome.[41]  This is precisely the opposite of the usual lesson drawn from these studies, which is that self-control is a matter of individual character, which we ought to promote. Fourth, even to the extent Mischel did look at stable individual characteristics, he was primarily concerned with “cognitive competencies” – strategies for how to think about (or stop thinking about) the goody – and how they’re related to other skills that are measured down the road.  In fact, those subsequent outcomes weren’t associated with the ability to defer gratification, per se, but only with the ability to distract oneself when those distractions weren’t provided by the experimenters.[42]  And that ability was significantly correlated with plain old intelligence.[43] Finally, most people who cite these experiments simply assume that it’s better to take a bigger pay-off later than a smaller pay-off now.  But is that always true?  Mischel, for one, didn’t think so.  “The decision to delay or not to delay hinges, in part, on the individual’s values and expectations with regard to the specific contingencies,” he and his colleagues wrote.  “In a given situation, therefore, postponing gratification may or may not be a wise or adaptive choice.”[44]

Why Self-Discipline Is Overrated (#) - Alfie Kohn

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

[rubyslppers]

it’s goji, back at it with another muse! this deceptive lil cutie is lee dalrae! once upon a time (literally like 2 yrs ago) she was pulling some pretty big scores back in seoul. she was part of a crew that would frequently take small, unsuspecting banks and corporations for all they had. whoops! anyway, now she’s kicking back on mulmalu island, enjoying the fruits of her labor while her lovelorn former crewmate serves the prison sentence she should have gotten. what she doesn’t know is that the crewmate sang like a bird, and justice may be a hell of a lot closer than she realizes ~ but yes, just like before, her pages are linked below and a summary of everything is behind the cut! i don’t have many plots for her just yet, but if you’d like to brainstorm something, pls like this and i’ll come to you!

profile. / wanted plots.

trigger & content warnings: child ab*se, mentions of child abandonment

from the very beginning, dalrae (known originally as min yuyeon) treasured the escape above all else; running free from whatever ails you was always her motto.

growing up in a group home with her two sisters after the abandonment of their mother did little but harden the girl’s exterior and make it increasingly hard to trust at all. though she wasn’t the oldest sibling, she was considered the toughest and least emotional. she was far more willing to do what had to be done.

whenever the home didn’t feed her sisters to her standards, rae would swipe food from the pantry when the attendants weren’t looking, risking a hefty beating. and even when she got caught, she’d stand against them defiantly, tearless and silent.

she learned to take what she needed when she needed it, the consequences be damned. eventually, the punishments became too harsh for even her to handle, and she escaped the facility when she was fifteen.

her sisters had always been so well behaved, so she knew they’d be okay in the group home’s care, but dalrae herself didn’t really know what to do next. she’d never really had anyone to depend on, and now she truly was alone.

she wound up falling in with a group of small-time criminals who, strangely enough, treated her far better than the group home ever had. they ran underground fight rings, laundered money through local businesses; nothing they had was gained through legitimate means, and yet they were her family. they gave her a new name and a new identity. they were the only ones who’d ever been there to take care of her, and at the same time, they filled her head with dreams of something bigger.

banks, corporations, luxury car dealers...they all had so much wealth for the taking, and no intention of sharing. rae and her crew spent their time developing their skills, learning the police response times and computer security systems like the backs of their own hands.

by the time she’d entered her early twenties, she was damn near a pro at stealing from the rich and prosperous of seoul - it had been keeping her and the crew going for years, and they’d all improved upon the petty crimes they’d started out committing.

they had become the shadowy organization, known simply as OZ, or at least that’s what the news and the public had begun to call them. they were something of local superstars, even if no one knew their names or faces. while some in the crew found that notoriety intoxicating, rae knew it could only spell the end of their little adventure.

she knew that people were going to eventually connect them to the thefts being committed, and her intuition proved to be correct.

they were taking one of the biggest corporations in the city one night, and despite their years of experience doing just that, they were unable to correctly predict the police response time. squad cars descended upon the crew in less than a minute, and in spite of their attempt at a quick getaway, the police were determined to steer them off the road.

after making a tearful plea to a crew member she knew was romantically interested in her to take all the blame and let her escape, dalrae slipped silently out of the car while it was still in full movement. she went tumbling down the bank and landed with a painful splash in the shallow banks of the han river.

she gritted her teeth and made the freezing cold swim across the river to put distance between her and the cops. she dried off and warmed up at a small, independently owned internet cafe, after observing that the place didn’t have a security camera set up. she transferred all the money OZ still had in its various accounts to her own offshore, despite guilt gnawing at her the entire time; but she simply had to survive, and her freedom was imperative to that.

after sitting on the money for a while, dalrae left the mainland behind, making the move to mulmalu island to get away from the events of that night. she used the money she’d stored away to buy a small cottage on the beach, where she could be left alone.

after nearly getting caught, the desire to amass a fortune through improper means had left her; she just wanted to hide away until her time would eventually come. she didn’t find meaning in much of anything anymore...she was finally starting to realize just what her life was.

...that was until she met him; bae hyuk - the charming, handsome photographer who would sweep her off her feet. from the very first time they met, she felt an overwhelming happiness whenever she would talk to him. it seemed his sole goal was to earn her trust, and after a lifetime of not being able to trust, perhaps she was a bit too eager.

but she never really questions him...she doesn’t want to. for once in her life, she just wants to have faith in another person, no matter how foolish of a choice that may be 👀

[amaltheabokkafe]

Malmös Anarkistiska Bokmässa 2019

INFORMATION IN ENGLISH IS FURTHER DOWN Om bara några veckor kommer vi att närvara på årets upplaga av Anarkistiska bokmässan Malmö! Dystopi. Naturkatastrofer. Klimatförändringar bortom räddning. Osäker framtid. Högerns framfart. Krig. Byggandet av murar. Rasism. Förlust av rättigheter… Löpsedlarna förutspår ingenting bra. Slitaget på jorden, i människorna, är uppenbart. Strider förs i världens alla hörn. Segrar finns där. Vi behöver minnas dem. De vill få oss att tro att den enda verkligheten som finns är den som de planerar. De vill få oss att tappa lusten till idéer, förlora kampglädjen och segervissheten. Vi delar inte deras dialektik. Vi reser en UTOPIA, vi vill skapa ett projekt! Revolutioner, revolter och uppror är en del av mänskligheten och har varit det så länge auktoriteter har funnits. Vi har en historia som sträcker sig över två århundraden, vi har ärvt idéer som sträcker sig över sekel, av kamper som trots våldet och repressionen som utövats mot dem fortsätter att existera. Vi har ett förflutet kantat av segrar och förluster, av revolutioner och massakrer, som alla har något att lära oss. Vi har ett förflutet kantat av människor och kamrater som stupat för sina idéer, för att ha försvarat modeller som inte anpassade sig till det etablerade samhället; de trodde sällan att de skulle lyckas men hindrades inte av det. Vi bär stolt med oss det förflutna och drömmen om en ny världen i våra hjärtan, men vi vill inte att det ska sluta här. Den institutionella vänstern är tydligare än någonsin en kropp utan livsgnista; som trots att den kan gå, är rutten på insidan. Sveket mot arbetarklassen, rasismen, den interna korruptionen och jakten på makt till varje pris. Vi svämmar över av exempel. Här och överallt. Det är i stället på gatan, i våra kvarter, på arbetsplatsen eller platser där vi möts för att ha kul eller lära oss som vi finner allierade, med vilka vi kan konspirera mot den rådande ordningen. Vi vill därför samlas igen genom en anarkistisk bokmässa. Dela och diskutera idéer, lära av varandra, skapa erfarenheter och starkare band. Det har nu gått ett år sedan vi tillsammans organiserade och skapade Malmös senaste bokmässa. Det var en lång process där vi försökte hitta en blandning av böcker, publikationer, föredrag och teman att diskutera. Under sex månader organiserades mässans strukturer. Vi försökte skapa ett intressant program för alla och på ett sätt som alla, på ett eller annat sätt, kände sig bekväma med. Bokmässan arrangerades helgen den 16-18 juni 2018. Ungefär 300 personer rörde sig genom Sofielunds Folkets hus, i samtal, debatter, böcker, tidningar, skratt, spänningar, kunskap och stöd. Ungefär hälften av programpunkterna var på svenska och resten var på engelska. Det var fint att träffa mycket folk som kommit långväga för att dela denna helg med oss. Vi måste ut ur våra hem, ge oss ut på gatorna, mötas, arbeta i konfliktens föreningar, varsamma eller glada, i spillrorna av denna värld. Organisera dig. Organisering har aldrig handlat om annat än att älska sig själv. Vi hoppas att vi ses igen under helgen den 7-9 juni 2019, i Sofielunds Folkets hus i Malmö. Gör anarkismen till ett hot igen!

Var: Sofielunds Folkets Hus. Rolfsgatan 16, Malmö

När: 7-9 juni 2019

ENGLISH In just a few weeks we’re going to Malmö’s Anarchist Bookfair! Dystopia, natural catastrophes, unstoppable climate change, uncertain future, rise of the right-wing, wars, construction of walls, racism, loss of rights… The headlines do not predict anything good, the wear is obvious, on the planet and in people. The battles are being fought in every corner of the world, victories exist and we need to remember them. They want us to believe that there is no reality other than what they plan, they want to make us lose our passion for ideas, the excitement for struggles and the confidence in victory. We do not agree with their dialectic. We rise UTOPIA, we want to create a project! Revolutions, revolts and insurrections are part of humanity since the authority were generated. We have almost two centuries of history, we have more than a century of inheritance of ideas, of struggles that in spite of the violence and repression exerted on them continued to exist. We have a past of victories and defeats, of revolutions and massacres, and we have to learn from all of them. We have a past full of people, comrades who left their lifes for the ideas, for defending a model that did not conform to the established, although from the beginning they thought there would be no possibility of success, that never stopped them. We proudly carry that past and that new world in our hearts and we do not want this to end here. The concept of the institutional left is clearly, more than ever, a body without life, that despite walking, it is rotten inside. The betrayal of the working class, the racism, the corruption inside and the search for power by any means. The examples are many. Here and everywhere. But on the street, in our neighbors, in the workplace or in the places where we have fun and learn, is where we will find allies, whom can conspire to fulfill our purposes. That's why we want to meet again at the anarchist book fair. Share and discuss ideas, learn from each other, generate experiences and create stronger bonds. It's been a year since we got together to organize the last anarchist book fair in Malmö, a complex process in which we try to find a variety of books, publications, presentations and topics to deal with. There were six months of assemblies in which we organized the structure of the fair and we tried to create an interesting program for anyone and in which all in one way or another felt comfortable. It was the weekend of June 16 to 18, 2018, when the event was held. Around 300 people passed through Sofielund Folkethus sharing talks, debates, books, publications, laughter, tensions, knowledge and support. About half of the acts were in Swedish and the other half in English. It was positive to meet many people who came from far away places to share those days with us. We have to leave our house, go to meet, get on the road, work in the union of conflict, prudent or happy, among the pieces of the world. You have to organize. Organizing has never been anything more than loving yourself. We hope to meet again on the weekend of June 7 to 9 in Malmö in Sofielunds Folketshus. Make anarchism a threat again! Contact information: anarchistbookfairmalmo@riseup.net

Where: Sofielunds Folkets Hus. Rolfsgatan 16, Malmö

When: 7-9 juni 2019

[davidschnuckel]

Pebbles in the Pond

Using Personal Experience to Examine What Legacy is in Service To

11/26/2018

The Fall issue of GASnews is hot off the digital press! ​Content in this issue is motivated by the theme of LEGACY and examines a wide variety of ways in which looking upon the past within our field can give us focus on our future. ​ For this issue, I took a risk and used a recent teaching experience at Pilchuck as the lens with which to think about departure points and inheritance.  About our own capability as present day members of this community for perpetuating unforeseen change to practitioners the field has yet to meet due to what we're collectively doing at present.  That any notions of progressivism now is only due to seeds planted by those who came before us and, in turn, that we are equally responsible for indirectly having influence on the narrative of our field for simply doing the things we feel inclined to do in our work, in our teaching and in our research at the moment.  It's all so seemingly accidental...and  so pivotal at the same time.  This is a piece that is more for me than the GAS community...one that briefly examines the ripple-effect of our small gestures to seek out something truly ours and yet to be discovered. Below is the draft I submitted to my Editor in its full, unedited version to serve as supplemental material to what is seen in the Fall 2018 issue of GASnews:

​This article is not about me.  You’re going to have to trust me on this. But, it’s certainly going to seem so.     It’s an article using myself (and a recent educational experience of mine) as a heavily noted point of reference.  Being one-part narrative and one-part contemplation, this article is really just an oddly angled examination of the premise at which the LEGACY phenomenon within our field exists (as experienced first-hand just last week) The people and places referenced in this piece may or may not be specifically mentioned.  I haven’t decided yet. However, if I decide to address the specifics it’s important for you to know that whatever or whoever is brought up is not the focal point of the piece. Just as I am not.  It’s all a platform I’ve recently been chewing over regarding the notion of heritage; a quest within a recent teaching experience to seek, define, and place myself (as well as my students) within a shared history.  One that may or may not even exist… When I proposed a writing class to an internationally recognized glass school I had assumed it was a stretch.  The idea of approaching an educational entity with such a rich history of its learning community engaging glass in a very tactile, physical way with a course about facilitating artistic growth with glass through conversation (and conversation alone) seemed impossible.  A course that would engage material and making, but with words? Many might see it as interesting, but who would see it as important?  …enough people to sign up for it? …enough to make it run?  Who would want to bypass the opportunity to experience the prestige of a school devoted to glass without the experience of making with it in their studios? Turns out that there were a handful of souls who would.  The session was quick and the course’s pace determined.  We joined on campus, we dove into the content, our conversations were rich, our work was illuminating.  Course participants were asked to investigate the multi-faceted organism that the glass field is through various writing exercises and project; activities that would then invite further conversation between the group on topics of shared appeal (which would, in turn, influence more writing direction).

What made the work unique that we were doing was that it relied heavily on interaction with the community upon the school’s campus; crossover with various members and happenings in the session’s program as a focal point in our thinking, writing, and conversation. ​We wore many hats in the work we did.  We explored various corners of the field through several ways in which writing exists: in lists, critique and criticism, field journalism, the op-ed, poetry, narrative, and the experimental.  All different lenses with which to examine this GLASS thing…a variety of methods engaged to help us explore all of GLASS’s various parts. All of us felt like something special was going on. We were not making with glass per se but making was happening nonetheless. “Making” of a different kind.  We used words to make commentary, to make needed observations, to make meaningful connections between things unseen, to make clear the unclear, to make the familiar strange, and the strange familiar. This is where the notion of LEGACY began to come up in our conversations part way through the session.  This is also where it begins to introduce itself within this article; this foundational occurrence of benefaction and inheritance that the contemporary glass field has been built upon.  What it’s still currently being built upon: the idea of enhancing what others had provided before us and leaving something important for someone else to run with afterwards within our making, teaching, learning and living practices.

The present is a funny pivot point.  We as a collective GLASS community can only be as good as our predecessors have allowed us to be.  “Good” in whatever terms that may mean or apply to.   In turn, it’s our job to kick as much ass as we can to not only perpetuate the “now”, but to do so in a way that will provide a platform for the “next” to kick further ass from. My desire to know where my recent non-making educational experience might be coming from is really important to me.  It’s a desire to anchor; to find anchor in something.  And then to use that connection to measure the distance between then and now, to see what that information may or may not suggest. Those are the things that perpetuate forward motion. It should be important to all of us, especially as we’re making all these unpredictable, remarkable strides forward in how glass is being engaged and what all glass is in service to today.   It’s important to not just wave the flag of progressivism for its own sake, but to do so with some context; awareness of exactly who and what has been responsible to put us this particular place, this particular moment, to spring forward in the way that we can and are. But the other side of the pivot point of the present is then thinking about what we’re doing now and how it’s setting something up for someone down the road to be able to build up; to build up in a way we’re not able to in this moment…in a way that we haven’t even predicted or imagined to be possible in this moment.  Potential and direction that not only exceed our current capabilities, but our current ability to even conceive. Writing is usually an opportunity for me to explore something, to understand something, to maybe even try to prove something.  It always is an attempt to penetrate what seems obvious, sometimes even to rethink what I think I already know.  To chew over the notion of LEGACY within the context of glass making, teaching, and learning here in this way is no different. This piece allowing me to dwell in the cyclical nature of giving and receiving when it comes to heritage; a measuring stick held against now in relation to what came before, but also a question regarding the unknown influence of now in relation to what’s ahead (both near and far). I think that’s what the personal narrative above has introduced me to.  Talking so much about this non-making educational experience I’ve just facilitated at a glass making school and wanting to place it all within a bigger picture. I am wondering if others might take the time to do it in their own way, too.  I wonder, then, not only what could be discovered, but what those discoveries could further perpetuate communally.

[velkynkarma]

End-Of-Year Fic Meme

Better late than never, right? @butteredonions​ tagged me a while ago, but I wanted to wait for Failsafe to be done since it was technically written in 2017 haha. Let’s do this!

Last Year’s In Which I Was Also Very Late

STATS:

List of Fics Posted: All Voltron, all planetonicplatonic. All my 2017 work should now be on AO3.

Silence is Golden ~ Shiro-centric, ensemble, 10291 words (Exchange fic for @bosstoaster​ )

Your Princess Is In Another Castle ~ Allura-centric, 7228 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Pillar in the Dark ~ Hunk & Keith focus, 12930 words (for @platonicvldweek​ )

In My Sights ~ Lance-centric, 7099 words (for @platonicvldweek​ )

What’s in a Name ~ Lance & Keith focus, 7485 words (for @platonicvldweek​ )

Phantasmagoria ~ Pidge-centric, Pidge & Shiro focus, 11960 words (for @platonicvldweek​ )

One Hundred Percent Probability ~ Shiro & Slav focus, 14044 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Altar of Storms ~ Ensemble fic, How to Train Your Dragon AU, 35292 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Knights of Lion ~ Ensemble fic, Shingeki no Kyojin AU, 24027 (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Advanced Maintenance ~ Shiro-centric, follow-up pieces to Routine Maintenance, 4863 words Prince of Memory ~ Shiro-centric, 20169 words A Thousand Burning Eyes ~ Zarkon-centric, 55900 words (for @voltrongenminibang​ ) When the Cat’s Away ~ Keith-centric, Keith & Space Mice focus, 22758 words (for @voltronbang​ ) The Packrat ~ Coran-centric, Coran & Space Mice focus, 11519 (exchange with @maychorian​ ) Mirror Image ~ Shiro-centric, Kuron(”Ryou”)-centric, 32415 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Whisper in the Dark ~ Keith-centric, 21326 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Cotton Guardian ~ Lance & Hunk focus, 8749 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Road Trip to End Times ~ (ch4 only), Ensemble, 7783 words (for @platonicvldweek​ ) Seven Vargas ~ Shiro-centric, 18006 words (for @butteredonions​ ) Little Crystals ~ Assorted prompts & characters, 19627 words Failsafe ~ Shiro & Kuron(”Ryou”) focus, 49930 words

Total number: 21 (counting Little Crystals’ assorted prompts as 1) Total word count: 403,401 words

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown: No ships! All gen :) Character breakdown (all counts based on -centric or focus for a character, with or without the inclusion of other chars) 8 Shiro-centric or Shiro-focus 4 Keith-centric or Keith-focus 4 ensemble fics (team focus) 3 Lance-centric or Lance-focus 2 Kuron(”Ryou”) centric or Kuron(”Ryou”) focus 2 Hunk-focus 2 Space-mice focus 1 Pidge-centric 1 Allura-centric 1 Coran-centric 1 Zarkon-centric 1 Slav-centric Not counting assorted prompts in Advanced Maintenance & Little Crystals

Characters that had the main focus: Unsurprisingly, Shiro was the main focus, but I do like that I tackled all the major characters at least 1 time. Breakdown questions beneath the cut!

Specifics:

Best/worst title? aka Bane of VelkynKarma Best title: Prince of Memory. It has a specific meaning in the fic, and also has a more meta meaning, but I always liked that the meaning was never really clear until the very end of the fic. Worst title: Little Crystals. It’s...okay, I guess, and I’m not so torn up over it since it’s just a prompt depository, but it doesn’t feel very creative even so.

Best/worst first line? Best: Mirror Image     The Kerberos mission is an unmitigated success. I always liked this start, just because even in the middle of telling the reader something was successful, they’re already questioning. Kerberos doesn’t go well, and we all know that. Why’s it a success?

Worst: What’s in a Name     “Here is the data you requested, Princess Allura. Though I am not sure it will help your cause any.” Not really a terrible opening per se, but boring in comparison. The reader might keep going to see who’s speaking (usually the case with opening with dialogue) but it’s not super engaging in and of itself.

Best/worst last line? Best: A Thousand Burning Eyes A thousand burning eyes staring at him out of a deep void, patient and hungry and waiting. I deliberately planned for this last line while writing this fic. I just loved the idea of, after the reader seeing all the awful things Zarkon had done in response to this threat, leaving it hanging with Shiro seeing the same thing. It leaves so many questions. Will he walk the same path? Will he make the same mistakes?

Worst: Whisper in the Dark     In the meantime he’ll do whatever he can, and somehow that feels like exactly enough. It’s not a terrible ending in and of itself, but after all the action and horror of the entire fic, it felt a little flat by comparison. I don’t generally dislike my endings, but I was in a bit of a rush to finish this before platonicVLDWeek dropped, and it probably could have been smoother.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? Way more than anticipated. I don’t think I’ve ever written this much for any other fandom, ever.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? I don’t do ships, and the only fandom this year has been VLD. Genre? Hmm...I’ve forayed into some fluffier, comedic, or lighter sick-fics, mostly due to prompt challenges and exchanges with @bosstoaster​ and @maychorian​, so thanks for that guys. What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. Aw geez. I love all my fics, but if I haaaad to pick? Either Prince of Memory or Mirror Image. I reaaaally love playing with the concept of memory in unusual ways. Actually on that note, Failsafe was fun to play with in that regard, too.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. Technically that’s Parasite Knight according to my 2017 stats on AO3. However, I count Parasite Knight towards 2016 since that’s when it was written. That means Pillar in the Dark is the most popular of 2017.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? Probably A Thousand Burning Eyes, but this is hardly surprising. It’s Zarkon-centric, sooo low popularity to begin with. Not only that, but it released prior to S3 and the introduction of Zarkon x Haggar as an official pairing, meaning he was even less popular and developed at the time.

Story that could have been better? Between the use of Keith and Lance (but wanting to avoid Klance backlash) and sort of skirting around my actual views regarding the Blade of Marmora, What’s in a Name came off as overly cautious and a little weak. I think I was too afraid of stepping on toes or starting a fight somewhere. There are some prompts I’d taken for various prompt events that I wasn’t really happy with, specifically this one with Ulaz. I’d never done prompt challenges before so I was really trying hard to fill anything that came my way. Unfortunately the requester wanted Uliro, and I’m not comfortable with ships, nor am I particularly comfortable with Ulaz as a character (I personally don’t interpret him as a character capable of being on even friendly terms with Team Voltron). The result was me attempting to parrot other character interpretations I’d seen of him, but it fell painfully flat, and the either of the characters could have been swapped out with another without really changing anything. I learned my lesson from that, though: in the future I’ve learned to reject prompts or character requests that I’m not on board with.

Sexiest story? I don’t do sexy D: So...none I guess Saddest story? Probably Prince of Memory, which apparently made a number of people cry at work/in class. Oops. Sorry about that. Although Failsafe could probably give it a run for its money now. Most fun? Altar of Storms because DRAGONS! I watched Dragons episodes and movies so many times and had a ball imagining the fight scenes. Story with single sweetest moment? I don’t really have any sugar-sweet moments, but I have a hell of a lot of bittersweet ones. Prince of Memory and Failsafe are the biggest source of these, although Cotton Guardian has got some sweet moments that turn creepy-cute later too. If I had to pick an excerpt for personal fave though? This scene from Failsafe, which was literally the entire reason the fic was written. (Not lying. Thought of this scene at work and went, ‘well shit, I need a fic to go with this’):

He’s moving before he even realizes it, lurching from where he’s sitting on the edge of the bed to reach for Ryou. Ryou flinches when he feels Shiro move, but then Shiro has both arms around him, drawing him in close to hold him instead. The hug is fiercely protective, encompassing every instinct Shiro has to shield and defend, but even so he’s mindful of his strength. He has to be gentle, so gentle, because Ryou is so breakable now. He supports Ryou with his Galra arm with the utmost care around his back and side, and his real hand rests against the back of Ryou’s skull, pressing his head gently against Shiro’s shoulder. This close, he can feel every protruding rib of Ryou’s and every jutting angle on his too-thin frame, even through the blankets he’s still wrapped in. It’s heartbreaking, and yet at the same time makes Shiro want to curl even closer around him to shield him from anything in the universe that would dare take away his second chance. “No,” Shiro says, fierce and soothing all at once. “No. God, no. Ryou, listen, we would never do that, okay? You're not just some experiment to us. Never to us. Never to me. Okay? We will never do that to you, ever. Ever. “And I’m so sorry that we ever did anything to make you believe that,” Shiro adds. He’s so sorry, more than he can ever express. He should have known better. He should have fucking known. “That’s our fault. That’s my fault. But you’re safe here. That will never happen.” Ryou is completely still in Shiro’s arms. Even his breathing hitches as his harsh pants quiet down. For one frightening moment, Shiro is so afraid that Ryou still doesn’t understand; that his mind is still trapped in some terrible reality where he expects to be discarded over something he never had any control over. But after a moment, he starts trembling again, and his whole body loses tension. He goes completely limp, until Shiro is the only thing holding him up. His head turns weakly, pressing into Shiro’s shoulder just a little more, and after a moment Shiro can feel his one remaining hand struggle weakly out of the blankets until his fingers can curl around the edge of Shiro’s vest. “ ‘m sorry,” he mutters weakly into Shiro’s shoulder. “Don’t be,” Shiro insists. “It’s not your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for. No matter what happens, you are always safe here.” The words seem to break something free in Ryou’s head. A long, slow shiver wracks his entire body, and his shoulders begin to shake as he buries his face in Shiro’s vest. Relieved, exhausted, and sick, he cries quietly into Shiro’s shoulder over his own stay of execution. 

Hardest story to write? A Thousand Burning Eyes, just because so much technical work went into it. I basically had to re-watch the entire first 2 seasons while writing it to get everything from Zarkon’s point of view, and plan the timing exactly. Not to mention explain how his entire empire happened as a result of trying to save the universe. There was a lot of research and watching the same scenes over and over. It took forever.

Easiest/most fun story to write? I was not expecting Silence is Golden to be as easy to write as it was, or to develop into something quite as silly as it did. (Keith, I swear...) Once I had the plot it basically wrote itself in a day.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters? I did a lot of writing with Keith this year, which helped I think in the long run. I was...not happy with the S2 revelations for his character, not gonna lie, and to this day I’m still not really with the whole ‘Keith is Galra’ plot point. But playing around with it in unusual ways (specifically with the Darkness Calls series) helped to figure him out a little better and let me at least come to terms with it.

Most overdue story? Shiro’s story in Mirror Image is a concept I’d been sitting on since almost right after S2 dropped, but I didn’t release it until around Halloween, and only after 2 more seasons and the introduction of the clone!Shiro theory. The real most overdue story still isn’t out yet

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Boy did I ever! I’d never done prompts before, which was an exercise in writing things outside my comfort zone (and also, in learning when it was okay to say ‘no’ to going outside the comfort zone, too). I participated in @platonicvldweek week multiple times, submitted work for 2 bangs, and even helped moderate one. And I did a few more prompt exchanges, too. It’s been a wild year for risk-taking with writes.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Tackle some of those characters that only had 1 centric piece Build some series more. It’s fun, turns out! Participate in more events if I can swing it Inspire people to art moar Maybe sketch more stuff to go with my art (that’s not totally writing but who cares)

Happy New Year a month into the new year

[kuriquinn]

Not Too Late

Summary: Sasuke is friendly with her – a friendliness that is simultaneously a relief and torture. Their friendship is as it always was, but she finds she is no longer satisfied by that. [SasuSakuMonth2017 – Day 2– Prompt: “Something More”]

Disclaimer: This story utilizes characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz Media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelizations, comics or short stories is intended by the author in any way, shape or form. This fan oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All fiction, plot and Original Characters with the exception of those introduced in the books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn and using them without permission is considered rude, in bad-taste and will reflect seriously on your credibility as a writer. You will be thrown into a pond if you are found plagiarizing.

Warning(s): Road To Ninja OCness for the characters. So flirty, dreamboat Sasuke and emotionally stunted Sakura :P

Fanon Compliance: Takes place several years after The Flip Side

AN: Again, sorry for the lateness, unpacking is kicking my ass. But I now can see my kitchen table, so yay for small victories! Editing will be done at a later date.

This fic was inspired by Anne of the Island by LM Montgomery (my favourite author growing up!). For some reason, the scene where Anne finally figures out how she feels about Gilbert struck me as being a believable way for RTN Sakura to figure out she’s in love with Charasuke.

The clouds are rolling in, threatening a late summer storm, when Sakura finally sets foot through Konoha’s giant gates. Weary and covered in road dust, she waves at Izumo and Kotetsu, before beginning the long trudge into the centre of the village.

She’s been away for almost a month, teaching a series of seminars on antidotes throughout the five shinobi countries. As the foremost medic in Konoha (after Lady Tsunade, of course, though the Hokage is too busy running the village to make many trips these days), Sakura is in high demand for her poison expertise and field training. Although she’s proud of her skills, and the networking will be a step up when it comes time to put forth her candidacy for Hokage, she can’t help feel exhausted.

This trip felt longer and more stressful – possibly because it’s the first one she’s undertaken alone. Her former teammates are so busy these days with their own pursuits. Menma is often away on missions with ANBU – although he’s sworn to secrecy on the matter, she’s pretty sure that he’s the new ANBU commander – and Kakashi is inspiring the next generation of shinobi at the Academy. As for Sasuke, he’s been taking on more responsibility within Konoha’s military police and among his clan, and so rarely has time to spare.

He doesn’t even have the time to flirt anymore, she thinks with grim humour as she passes by the Uchiha district.

It’s quieter than usual, she notices a beat later; most days it’s bustling with activity even late into the night.

The Uchiha are one of the oldest and most respected clans in Konoha, after all, and are usually at the centre of every village tradition and activity. The atmosphere here was always such a stark contrast to her own quiet upbringing – even more so after her parent’s deaths.

Whenever she and Menma used to come here as genin to pick up Sasuke or visit him on their days off, they always ended up running into someone who needed help around the house or with their chores. His older cousins would tease him good-naturedly, and his little cousins would take along with them, in awe of their status as ninja (even if they were only genin at the time).

Sasuke would complain about it, but both Sakura and Menma could always tell that he secretly loved it. He liked people relying on him, would go out of his way to help his older aunts and uncles, and even got his teammates to help him tend to his mother’s garden.

He was even more dedicated in the years after his brother left.

He’s a good guy, that wheedling voice at the back of Sakura’s head reminds her. He’ll make someone a good partner one day.

But she shrugs away that thought, because she’s made her feelings on that particular subject very clear – both to Sasuke and herself.

Being Hokage is an important job, and demands a lot – she’s seen as much with Tsunade; there’s no way she can dedicate herself to that and a family. Besides, as Hokage she might one day end up in the same position as her parents and have to sacrifice herself for the village. The idea of leaving her child or children to grow up orphaned haunts her; she knows from experience there’s no fate worse.

Besides, there will be no shortage of children to look after in the village, especially with all of her agemates pairing off and starting families.

Ino is engaged to a civilian art expert named Kyoya, and somehow Shikamaru managed to charm the Kazekage’s painfully shy sister over the course of the past few chuunin exams. There’s to be a state wedding in Suna next month before Temari officially relocates to Konoha. Choji just recently returned from a trip to Kumo, a soft-spoken bride in tow – apparently, he didn’t want to deal with the fuss of a big wedding.

And then, of course, there’s Menma.

Sakura recalls how a few months ago, Hinata stalked across the town square and flat-out told him they were getting married. And then he sighed, like it was a huge imposition, but accepted.

It should have been the most painful moment of her life, but all Sakura could feel was happy for her friend. She has long-since grown out of her one-sided crush with the Uzumaki boy (and doesn’t it gnaw at her that Sasuke accurately predicted that!), and despite Hinata’s overbearing nature, they’ve developed a mutual respect.

I guess it’s true that they say – that people change, she muses as she leaves the Uchiha district in her wake.

She considers whether she ought to stop at the Hokage Tower first, or home, and decides on the latter. Her mission wasn’t an urgent one, so there’s no need tor report in immediately. Besides, Suna’s desert is still clinging to her skin and her hair feels stiff with sweat. She needs to bathe before she can in good conscience enter the Hokage’s presence.

ロードトウニンジャ

Sakura takes her time once she’s home, enjoying a long shower and the feel of clean clothes on her skin. She even takes a short nap before heading out into the village; there’s no food in the house, and she doesn’t feel like getting groceries this evening.

As usual she heads for the Yakiniku Q, expecting to have a nice meal and perhaps some conversation. There’s always someone around to chat with – one of the double-edged perks of being the child of heroes, she supposes.

When she arrives, she sees a table at the back where a few of her friends are sitting quietly. It’s another oddity – usually her friends are the loudest in the room – but she chalks it up to the lateness of the day.

“Sakura!” Ino gasps when she sees her. “When did you get back?”

“About an hour ago,” she replies, sliding into an empty space. “Have you all ordered yet?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hinata sneers. “Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?”

“I’m not due to start any shifts for another day or two,” Sakura replies, frowning at the animosity. Hinata is never pleasant per se, but she’s stopped being so confrontational since her engagement.

“You…have you spoken to anyone else since you’ve been back?” Neji asks, eyes shifting to Tenten, who shakes her head incrementally.

“No, I haven’t,” Sakura says slowly. “Guys, what’s going on? Why are you all acting so…suspicious?”

“If anyone’s acting suspicious, it’d be you,” Hinata returns. “Then again, maybe it’s just who you are. I knew you were cold, but I’d think you’d be a little more upset that your fall-back guy is dying.”

“Hinata!” Tenten objects, eyes flitting anxiously to Sakura.

It takes about ten seconds for her to understand who exactly the Hyūga heiress is talking about, and five more before the meaning behind her words sink in. Once they do, she can only stare at the pale-eyed girl in disbelief.

“What?” she echoes faintly, feeling the blood drain from her cheeks so fast that she feels dizzy.

“Shut up, Hinata,” Ino says with uncharacteristic sharpness. She regards Sakura with the air of someone preparing to diffuse an explosive tag. “Sakura, don’t look like that, it’s – Sakura, do you hear me?!”

“You shouldn’t have told her so suddenly, Neji chides his cousin, who crosses her arms unrepentantly.

“She’s strong enough to take it. You beating around the bush wasn’t doing her any favours.”

“Is it…is it true?” Sakura asks her best friend in a voice that doesn’t sound like hers. “Is Sasuke…?”

“He’s very ill,” Ino confirms gravely. “He got sick about a day or so after you left on your mission.”

Almost a month ago!

“I’m surprised Lady Tsunade didn’t mention it to you when you got back,” Neji remarks.

“I…I just went straight home,” Sakura explains faintly. Her decision to luxuriate in the shower and nap suddenly seem ridiculous and selfish in the face of this new reality. “What’s wrong with him?”

“We don’t know,” Ino says. “Whatever it is, it’s bad enough that his parents brought him to the hospital. The healers don’t – Sakura, please don’t make that face!” Because if the Uchiha, who tend to have their own private family healers see to their needs, brought Sasuke to the hospital, it has to be serious. “He’s strong – you know how strong Sasuke is. He’ll pull through.”

“Shizune was here earlier and she figures there’s no hope,” Hinata remarks, taking a sip of sake.

Ino’s jaw sets, and in a move that is utterly uncharacteristic of her, she promptly marches the Hyūga girl away before Sakura throws a punch at her.

Not that she is at all in the mind frame to do so, because she is still struggling to make sense of what all this means.

“Don’t worry, Sakura,” Neji tells her, resting comforting hand on her shoulder. “Sasuke is Uchiha. They have strong constitutions. I have no doubt that he will pull through.”

But she doesn’t miss the slight waver in his voice, as if he isn’t sure what he’s saying is completely true.

Numb, Sakura shrugs off his hand and stands to leave. She barely hears her friends worriedly call her name as she steps out into the street, staring unseeingly ahead of herself.

The rain has started in earnest since she went inside and now beats down in sheets. Passersby sprint through the road, trying to find shelter, but she barely feels the water on her skin. The air throbs with energy, vibrating with the thunder, and three blocks away, Sasuke Uchiha lies dying. 

“Don’t be such an idiot.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“If you spent as much time on your jutsus as you do on flirting, you’d be better than Menma.”

“Why would I go on a date with you, you playboy?”

She remembers every single time she told him to leave her alone, or wished he would move on and get out of her life. Now that he might just do that, Sakura realises that it would be like cutting out a vital organ.

She begins to run.

ロードトウニンジャ

“What’s wrong with him?” Sakura demands as she bursts into the Critical Care ward, not bothering with a greeting.

“S-Sakura-sensei, you’re not supposed to –!”

 “Symptoms, Ando, or don’t bother speaking,” she barks.

“P-patient presented with…with shortness of breath and coughing,” her intern stammers. “Within a day it transitioned into full-fledged hemoptysis, resulting in the family admitting him to Critical Care. He’s required constant monitoring and daily healing sessions to keep his lungs clear.”

“Anything else?”

“I’m really not supposed to –”

“Then don’t – pass me his chart! He’s dying and you’re wasting my time with red tape!” she snarls, grabbing the clipboard from the flustered teenager and storming down the hallway to the wing where the patients dying of terminal diseases are housed.

The fact that Sasuke has been placed there makes her want to vomit.

Upon turning the corner, she finds her way blocked by two familiar figures. Kakashi and Menma are like two pillars against the doors, both of them looking a little pale as she marches toward them.

“You can’t go in there, Sakura,” Kakashi tells her as she gets within arms reach; his usual exuberance has disappeared, replaced with a sombreness that matches Gai’s.

“The hell I can’t,” she growls. “Move before I make you move.”

“It’s Lady Tsunade’s orders,” Menma tells her. “You’re not permitted to treat a loved one, Sakura, you know that. It’s hospital policy and standard in the four laws of medical ninjutsu.”

“I am the student of the Sannin Tsunade,” Sakura bites out, thumbing at the seal on her forehead, “and I am exempt from those laws.”

“Not today, you aren’t,” Menma maintains. “If you step foot in that ward, Tsunade will stop treating him and restrain you herself. Are you willing to gamble with your friend’s life just to feel useful?”

His words cut a chink into the desperate fury that has been driving her since she left the restaurant.

Under the empathetic eyes of her friends, Sakura is forced to make a difficult decision: either stay here, useless, and let Tsunade do her best to heal Sasuke, or kick up a fuss and delay him getting the treatment he deserves.

She swallows a painful lump in her throat.

It’s really no choice at all.

Her shoulders slump and she lets Kakashi guide her out of the Critical Care ward and into the general waiting room. 

She spends the rest of the night pacing every other hallways and demanding news from the nurses, until Lady Tsunade sends Shizune out and tells her she will be drugged and sent home if she doesn’t stop. After that she adopts a lone window that looks out onto the Critical Care ward across the courtyard and waits, trying not to imagine the horrors that could be happening over there right then.

That Sasuke’s died, or that the damage to his body is irreversible.

Her vigil lasts the night, through hours of the storm raging outside and the darkness that threatens to consume her. Kakashi and Menma come and go in the background, trying to tempt her to go home and sleep or eat something, but she ignores them, refusing to acknowledge anyone unless it’s someone with news of Sasuke.

Because Sakura has come to a bitter, belated revelation: that she is in love with Sasuke Uchiha. That she has always been in love with him, and she knows that now.

Her knowledge comes too late, because now she might not even get the chance to tell him. She has been so blind and foolish, so focussed on becoming something worth her deceased parents’ pride and trying to impress the one man who would never see her as more than a sister that she wasted their time.

Tsunade is right: Sakura shouldn’t be anywhere near him right now. She doesn’t deserve to be near him.

But…but if he dies…he’ll go without ever knowing how I feel. He’ll die thinking I don’t return his feelings and then…

And then she’ll be left without him.

Instantly, Sakura can see it – years and years of emptiness stretching out in front of her, all of her other dreams and ambitions fulfilled, but pale and colourless shadows of what she hoped for. Hollow, because there will be no one to share it with.

She presses her head against the cool window, feeling the vibrations of the raindrops on the other side of the pane, and for the first time since she lost her parents, she wishes she could die too. If Sasuke leaves her, if he dies without a word or sign or message between them, she won’t make it. Nothing has any value without him.

She belongs to him and he to her, and he’s always known that and she always insisted it wasn’t true.

The storm rages all the rest of the night and into the morning, the winds and thunder seeming to keep time with her pacing. Only as the heavy raindrops fade away and Sakura can’t take one more moment of sitting uselessly in the waiting room does she hail one of the nurses.

“Have you heard anything about Sasuke Uchiha this morning?” she asks, forcing her voice to remain steady and professional.

Under normal circumstances the staff aren’t allowed to share information with anyone that isn’t family, but everyone here knows Sakura and her desperation is clear on her face.

“The last I heard, he’s better,” the nurse says. “Lady Tsunade pulled him through the worst of it about half an hour ago. I heard her tell Lady Shizune that he’s going to make a full recovery.”

“And they’ve…they’ve figured out what was wrong with him?”

“Yes. Some underlying genetic condition, I believe. Once Lady Tsunade figured it out, she was able to heal the cause – oh! Lady Sakura, what’s wrong?”

Stunned and thankful, Sakura has burst into relieved tears and flees the hospital.

ロードトウニンジャ

In the wake of Sasuke’s recovery, Sakura avoids going to see him.

Menma and Kakashi press her on it, but she can’t properly explain to them what the problem is; eventually they give up trying, but she sees their judgemental looks and knows she deserves them.

How is she supposed to explain that she’s afraid to face Sasuke? His family were by his side through his sickness, while she was off pursuing her own interests for a month. No one thought to inform her of his condition, because she made it utterly clear how she felt – or didn’t feel – about him, and it was only when he was dying that she let go of her stubbornness and accepted her feelings for him.

That after everything, she hardly deserves to be his friend, let alone to love him. Even if she still has his friendship, she has no idea what to say.

The self-flagellation continues unendingly for a while, even days after Sasuke is up and about. Hinata holds a party one night to celebrate his recovery (and also to apologise for her lack of tact when she told Sakura about it), and they run into each other there. They make easy conversation, exchange pleasantries and then Sakura makes an excuse that she has to work.

For the first time in their lives, Sasuke doesn’t bother to flirt with her, and she tosses and turns in bed that night thinking what that means.

A week later he comes to see her at the hospital.

“There’s a familiar sight,” he remarks, taking note of her hunched over several charts.

Sakura jumps and stares up at him, her cheeks warming both at the sight of him and being caught unawares. “S-Sasuke! What are you doing here?”

“My final check-up was today,” he says, speaking to her in the same easy tone as he always did. “As soon as I get the okay, I’m headed to the training grounds.” He pauses, and then with the same comradely grin as always, suggests, “You want to come along? It’s been a while since we sparred, and I think Menma’s picking out china patterns or something.”

Sakura looks at him rather blankly.

“I wish I could,” she says slowly, “but I can’t. There’s a viral epidemic two towns over, and Lady Tsunade has me watching vaccine samples all night. There’s no way I can get away.” She bites her lips and offers him an apologetic glance beneath her lashes. “I’m really sorry. I’d actually love to go with you.”

“What about tomorrow afternoon then, after you’ve gotten some sleep?” Sasuke asks, apparently not put-off by her refusal.

There’s a beat of hesitation, but Sakura musters a smile. “That works for me.”

Their eyes meet for a beat longer, and then she looks away.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, then,” Sasuke states. He pauses, and then adds, “Don’t work too hard tonight, or you’ll be too tired.”

He leaves before she can think of a response.

Sakura looks after him as he goes away and sighs, throwing down her pen.

Sasuke is friendly with her – a friendliness that is simultaneously a relief and torture. Their friendship is as it always was, but she finds she is no longer satisfied by that.

She wants more than his friendship, but also more than the cheap rose of a momentary fling. Without his usual one-liners or appraising looks, she can’t tell if he’s finally moved on or is just better at hiding it. She  worries that maybe he no longer feels anything for but friendship, and wonders if all her years of rejecting him have finally taken.

Sakura groans and presses her palms to her eyes.

“This is ridiculous,” she says out loud to now one. Within barely a fortnight, true love has reduced to one of those insecure girls that obsesses over a man. “I’m not doing this. I just need to…to get over it.”

If Sasuke can apparently get over her so easily, she’ll figure out how to do the same. By throwing herself into her work, if she has to. Success and ambition will have to take the place of love, and she tries to comfort herself by the fact that she’ll do great, noble work as Hokage one day, especially without having to worry about her own heart.

Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t believe herself.

ロードトウニンジャ

When Sasuke comes to pick her up from her house the next afternoon, she takes more care than she ever has with her appearance. She knows they’re only going to train, but something in her wants him to notice her as a woman – perhaps flirt with her the way he used to.

They take the long way to the training grounds, passing through the forested paths where the trees are just beginning to change their colours.

“It’s been a while since I came this way,” Sakura says, only to fill the silence between them that falls just short of companionable.

“Me too,” Sasuke says. “I think I only ever used this way because it took longer to get to the training grounds.”

“And we still always got there before Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura agrees. “Because he always had some kind of life-or-death competition with Gai-sensei that he had to finish before training.”

“Remember our first battle as a team?”

“Yes! You passed out, I got thrown into the pond and Menma ended up buried up to his head in the ground.”

“That was still less embarrassing than having to introduce ourselves,” he says.

“That’s right! You talked for ten minutes straight about your tomato garden and how much you liked salad!”

“And Menma had that huge speech about how it was his duty to repopulate the Uzumaki clan throughout the five shinobi nations,” Sasuke remembers, shuddering. “And then Kakashi figured that was a prime teaching opportunity and gave us the sex-talk.”

“That was mortifying!”

“Speak for yourself, you didn’t have him follow you home to assure your parents that he had “dutifully ensured their son would be responsible in all matters of a sexual nature”,” Sasuke says, rolling his eyes. Then he winces and says, “Sorry.”

“No, it’s…it’s alright.”

They are quiet again.

“You were always so strong in the face of that,” Sasuke says after a while. “I don’t even know what I would do without my family, but you…it just made you stronger. Even back then, you dreamed of becoming Hokage to make them proud or die trying.”

“Well…that last part of the dream has changed,” she says lightly. “Most dreams do, over time.”

“And some don’t,” he says seriously, something resolute entering his voice. He stops walking, and Sakura is forced to do the same, staring up at him in surprise. “Things haven’t changed for me – not really. There’s something – someone – I’ve always wanted, even from back then. Maybe it was always a dream, but I’m going to keep wanting it, even if it can’t come true.”

Sakura opens her mouth to speak, but the words get stuck somewhere in her throat. It’s as if she’s been struck dumb with disbelief and a mounting terror that if she speaks she’ll break the spell of what’s happening.

“I want my family to be whole,” Sasuke continues. “I want my brother back. I want my parents to grow old surrounded by grandchildren. I want my wife to be the woman I love until I die.” He peers at her intently. “In that dream, my wife is you.” Sakura barely has a chance to acknowledge the burgeoning feeling of happiness, when he takes her hands in his. “I know I said I’d wait for you, but I’ve been thinking it over. And perhaps it’s not waiting that’s the problem. Perhaps I’ve been asking you the wrong thing all these years. I’ve been asking you out on dates, when I should have been asking you to marry me.”

Marry?!

“And so…” he takes a deep breath, vulnerability crossing his features for the first time since he started speaking, “if I ask you differently today – if I ask you if you want to spend the rest of our lives together – will you give me a different answer?”

She still can’t speak – her brain is stubbornly stalled somewhere around the word ‘love’. Instead, she lifts her eyes and gazes into his for a long moment, trying to convey her answer - nstead, she lifts her eyes and gazes into his for a long moment, trying to convey her answer – yes, yes! A million times yes, you annoying man! – and he seems to understand, because he breaks into a breathtaking smile.

And then she can’t to much else but grab him by the lapels of his shirt and drag his lips down to her own.

He makes a noise of surprise, but a beat later realises what’s happening, and then his arms are around her, pulling her in closer to him. His mouth is unexpectedly soft against her own, but it becomes harder and more demanding as the kiss deepens.

Eventually they pull away from each other, and Sasuke stares down at her, breathless.

“Is that a ‘yes’?’ he pants.

“It’s an ‘I love you’, you annoying man.”

His eyes soften. “I love you.”

She blushes and hides her face in his chest.

“I don’t understand how you could keep loving me after all this time when I’ve been such an idiot,” she says, hoping that her words are lost in the fabric of his shirt.

“I tried to stop,” he says, causing her to pull away and stare up at him in anguish. “Not because you’re an idiot – you’re not – but because it’s hard to compete with someone like Menma.”

“You’ve competed with him your whole life.”

“Yeah, on arenas where we were evenly matched. When it came to your affections, he already had them without even trying.”

“I got over Menma.”

“I know that. But I still figured I needed to give you time after he and Hinata became engaged. He was your first love, after all. If I approached you right after, it would have felt like I was rubbing it in your face,” he explains reasonably. “And I…didn’t want to be your rebound.”

“You are not my rebound,” she tells him fiercely. “And Menma was no my first love.”

He cocks his head to one-side, inquisitive.

“You were,” she says, looking away and feeling her cheeks redden. “But then one day you showed up and started handing out roses to every pretty girl within a ten foot radius and I decided I didn’t want to be just another one of your admirers.”

He stares.

“Sakura, that was before we were genin even. You already…?”

She crosses her arms, defensive, cheeks red.

To her surprise, Sasuke groans and slaps himself in the forehead. “I’m a moron.”

“A bit, yeah.”

“And here I though I needed to do something dramatic like almost die to get you to accept your feelings for me, when you already had them!”

Sakura shudders.

“Don’t joke about that,” she begs, “It’s too soon.”

Sasuke sobers. “When I was sick, Tsunade told me about how you reacted. She said you almost took out Kakashi and Menma to get to me. You’d be amazed how determined I was to get better after that.”

She smiles wanly at that and shivers.

“I’ll never forget thinking you were going to die,” she whispers. “I knew right then. It was like the world shifted. I knew and…and I thought it was too late. I thought I would lose you and have to pay for my mistake by being alone forever.”

Sasuke’s eyes soften and he pulls her close, cradling her protectively in his arms. They stand like that for longer than Sakura knows, though she doesn’t care. If he wanted to stay like this forever, she would agree without hesitation.

Except he doesn’t, because he pulls away.

“Let’s make an agreement,” he suggests. “No more waiting.”

“huh?”

“We’ll tell my parents tonight and get married as soon as we can find someone to perform the ceremony,” he goes on. “And you’ll move in with me and my family, and then you’ll never have to be alone again.”

“Move in with your…Sasuke…that’s a bit…soon,” she protests weakly. “Besides, what if they’re no…alright with…with me?”

“You know my mother loves you. And my father respects you, which he’d say is more important than liking you, but he’ll learn to. If by some fluke they disapprove, we’ll just elope.”

“They’ll disown you!”

“So what? That just means they’ll have two disowned sons. It might give them the motivation they need to accept Itachi back home,” he snorts.

“Sasuke!”

“Besides, it’s occurred to me that there’s never been an Uchiha Hokage,” he continues with the air of someone musing one of life’s greatest mysteries. “No one in my family will have a problem with my wife once you succeeds Tsunade.”

Sakura blushes darkly. “I haven’t even officially said ‘yes’ yet.”

Something dark enters Sasuke’s eyes.

“I guess I’ll have to keep convincing you then,” he tells her, and then his lips are on hers again.

She decides she likes his form of persuasion.

終わり

Thank you all for reading! Reviews and concrit are much appreciated - and if you’re feeling generous, I also accept tips through ko-fi (just scroll to the top and click the button!)

クリ

[rielity]

2017 Writing Round-Up

source

Total year-long word count: 90303

Word count by fandom:

BNHA: 4891, 4 fics DGM: 3414, 2 fics Haikyuu!!: 81998, 36 fics

Fics completed:

39/42

Works-in-progress:

3/42 - Of Demons & How to Chase Them | twenty-four hours | for the voiceless (though this one... is debatable) crossfire is also, technically, a wip. but at the same time... it's not, lol.

This year I wrote and posted:

Timeless: 4 Across the Ages At Sunrise Back Home Beyond Nightfall

soft kitty warm kitty: 2 cat that got the cream catching catnaps

writing with snowdrops & others: 21 the little bits and pieces of this world with nothing in our hands Of Demons & How to Chase Them (DGM, chapter 3) on eggshells crossfire Runaways (chapter 2) Role of a Captain People You May Know forever is a mighty long time one-way ticket destination: forever the longest, darkest night the weight of you (DGM) cold (BNHA) safe (BNHA) twenty-four hours herding cats (BNHA) for the voiceless molten gold spring (BNHA) when I think of winter

SASO: 15 the owl and the duckbutt at the end of the world terms and conditions count on me, count on you best-kept secret light years from home (you) fear and bravery midwinter silence two chairs to a table crying is contagious phantom passing the baton control, and the lack thereof mirror

Total: 40 fics + two updates to old fics

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

At the start of 2017, I wrote on Lofter and Tumblr that my target would be to hit 60 published works on AO3 by the end of the year. I have 79 now, so I wrote twice as much as what I was aiming to. I definitely didn't expect to write so much, and I have SASO to blame (thank?).

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Anything to do with the Miyas (duh!)... and also Seijou. But I guess the one that I would have never expected myself to write would be Matsu//hana: I wrote one-way ticket on a bus ride home after reading chapter 258. I hardly ever read Matsu//hana fic, much less ever feel inspired to write it, so one-way ticket really caught me off-guard.

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

I thought about this question for a long time and skipped ahead to answer a few before I came back to this. At first I thought it was a really hard choice to make - how can you ask me to choose a story out of all 40 that I've written this year? - but then I realised the answer's always been really clear. 

It's the weight of you, my Laviyuu fic based off of Vienna Teng's Enough to Go By. I wrote it in one sitting, with hardly any problems in terms of storyline or thematic exploration. it was one of those fics that just. came to me and let me embrace it. half a year later, I'm still incredibly proud of what I achieved in that meagre expanse of 1000 words. once in a while when I need to be reminded of what my writing can achieve, I reread it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I signed up for SASO. I was definitely not planning to write as much as I did, LOL. It taught me how to write fast, and to not be as hung up over the editing as I always do. I'm a slow writer because I like to write and edit at the same time, but with SASO it was just writing and minimal editing. I also got a bit more comfortable with working with prompts, though I'm still terrible at it.

I also signed up for two zines this year, one of which was for Kacchako, a pair I'd never written before. And to top it off, I was struck by writer's block when I was working on my submission. I don't know, it taught me to not sign up for zines when I'm drowning in schoolwork and that impulsive decisions are never a great idea (but are they really?).

Your best story of this year:

What's the difference between favourite story, best story and most popular story? I'd say it's either the weight of you or molten gold. the former for reasons stated in the earlier question, but molten gold because it's a fic that clearly shows how far I've come in writing ever since I started writing for HQ last year. when drawn parallel to Storm, my first Noya character study (and my second ever HQ fic), the difference is stark. It's still not perfect, and there are still things I wish I could've included, but I'm proud of what I achieved in it.

Your most popular story of this year:

By 'most popular' I'm assuming most kudos.

herding cats for BNHA and overall, and the little bits and pieces of this world for Haikyuu!! - neither of which are surprising results.

herding cats is a lighthearted and fun fluffy piece written for a ship that is gaining traction in a very thirsty fandom, while bits and pieces has the HQ fandom favourite trope of enemies to friends to lovers, and the benefit (?) of it running parallel to canon story.

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion:

At Sunrise. previously I would've said Across the Ages, but as I read and reread my old works, I've come to realise that At Sunrise is a piece that delves very deeply into the emotions of my characters, and really builds up an emotional bond not just between my characters, but also between my story and my readers. The amount of actual emotional pain that I inflicted on myself while writing it really shows in my writing, and my readers can feel it too.

I get why people don't read it. I really do. I've said it before, a few times now. Major character death scares a lot of readers away. Being a fantasy AU, and a Part 2 in a series turns people off. And it's Kage//hina, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it being a major ship means that a huge amount of the people who click in soon find that they're not here for this content.

Even so, I still think it deserves better.

I published it on April 1. It's December 28 now, and these are its stats.

Hits: 614 | Kudos: 37

Go figure. *salt

Most fun story to write:

Honestly, any story with Futakuchi as a narrator is great. It's a toss-up between when I think of winter and People You May Know. with nothing in our hands comes close as a runner-up though.

Story with the single sexiest moment:

You're asking me, a writer who can't even write kissing scenes, about a sexiest moment...??? I guess it'd be Back Home, if only because it's the fic with the most snogging.

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

mirror. It's not wrong per se, just not what I would have usually done for a Haikyuu fic. I think a lot of readers were taken aback by its hidden twist.

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters:

I don't really have an answer to this. It might be cold, my first ever Todo//baku. Writing it gave me a lot of insights into the Tod//obaku dynamic and understanding them better, but shifting my perception? I'd be hard-pressed to name it as such.

Hardest story to write:

on eggshells, At Sunrise, midwinter and molten gold. The first two because of how emotionally taxing they were, the latter two because of how difficult they were to actually write. I set out on each of these stories with a clear image of how I wanted to end it, but the process of going from start to finish was a long, long winding road, whether in picking the words that I needed to evoke the exact nuance and atmosphere I wanted to portray, or in letting myself hurt for my characters as I wrote. Sounds dramatic, but unfortunately true.

Biggest disappointment:

I hate to say it, but, Beyond Nightfall. I feel like I could have done a lot a lot a lot more with it, but I also don't know what exactly I could have done. I realised my biggest problem with writing longfic manifested when I was writing Beyond Nightfall - the incessant need to make everything tie up perfectly, which on hindsight was not the best decision because it made everything too neat, and also forced my story in a way that it didn't necessarily want to go. 

Moving forward, I hope I can work on this (I've already started to do so starting with when I think of winter) and I eventually plan to come back and rewrite Beyond Nightfall.

Biggest surprise:

forever is a mighty long time. I'd been toying with the idea of a reincarnation AU for Kuroyaku for the longest time, but never really wanted to actually start on it (...as is the case for 80% of all my fic ideas...) because I'm not a fan of writing tropey AUs (oh, look at that holier-than-thou attitude in that sentence LMAO JK). But when inspiration struck for me to put a twist on what would otherwise have been a very standard reincarnation AU piece, I decided to sit down and get to work on it.

Looking back, it's a good fic. not my best, but it's good.

Most unintentionally telling story:

on eggshells. It wasn't unintentionally telling, though. It was intentional, every bit of it. eggshells was the first time I dared to dig deep within myself to write a story based off my own emotional experiences, and while I found it cathartic, it's certainly not something I hope to replicate anytime soon.

Favorite opening line(s):

Futakuchi was not pining. He was absolutely not pining over Karasuno's vice-captain with the shaved head and rumpled training vest - what the hell, they even shared the same number, ew. - People You May Know

Favorite closing line(s):

kuroo stretches a little, his toes touching the calf of yaku’s leg, warm, solid and present, and very much alive. very much here. “yeah, i know.” - forever is a mighty long time

And the worst part of it all is that when he looks into the shards of broken silver lying on his bedroom floor, he still can’t stop seeing ‘Samu looking right back at him. - mirror

But in fact there is nothing much to say at all, when those shoulders that have been tempered with fire are more than capable of holding its weight. - molten gold

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere:

Moonlight scatters on the floorboards, a miniature Milky Way filling the space between them, but Yaku takes a step, then another, and then he’s falling into Kuroo’s arms, no longer a cold ephemeral spectre for Kuroo to gaze at from afar, like the twinkling stars through window grilles, but a warm, solid and real body that fits right against Kuroo’s own, a puzzle piece slotting back into place. - midwinter

And he would have liked to think himself invulnerable, with a mask stoic enough that nothing could shatter, a heart cold enough that nothing could touch, disillusioned with the evils of humanity that he had borne witness to. - the weight of you

where issei would usually retort with some comeback about takahiro’s birthday, today there is only silence. the train pulls to a stop, doors beeping an arrhythmic melody as their knees knock together with the movement. issei’s pulled out his phone now, the bend of his arms making his elbow dig into takahiro’s side; takahiro wonders if he, like him, is trying to feign deafness to the echoing chasm that seems to have opened up between them over the course of five sentences. - one-way ticket

His hands clutch at his throat, run ragged and raw by the smoothness of poppy petals. What an apt irony then that poppies should signify peace, because Aone is and has always been the peaceful, stoic rock to the swirling tempest that Kenji is, but their mere existence is doing the exact opposite in calming Kenji’s raging heart, their stem a noose around his neck. - fear and bravery

He takes a deep breath, and steps onto the court, into the fray. He can feel eyes on him - from his teammates, from his opponents, from the stands. The numbers on his jersey feel like they’re branding himselves into his back, and he squares his shoulders, embracing the burn. He’s not Nekoma’s number 3, but he’s Nekoma’s number 12, and he’ll show them what it means to be Nekoma’s libero - what it means to be guarding Nekoma’s backs. - passing the baton

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated:

Lavi in front of Kanda's grave, at the remains of the old Black Order - the weight of you

Kuroo and Yaku doing work at the kitchen table, their legs barely touching - forever is a mighty long time

Oikawa and Futakuchi in front of the irori - when I think of winter

The moment when Shirabu and Kawanishi realise that Futakuchi's read the map upside down and they're now hopelessly lost - with nothing in our hands

Hinata, through Kageyama's eyes, when he tells Kageyama that he won't forget him - At Sunrise

Fic-writing goals for next year:

15 fics in total. It's a downsize from this year because the first half of next year will be occupied by uni and transition into adulting, so I don't want to give myself too much pressure. I'm still on the fence about signing up for SportsFest (SASO's successor) but I'll think about that when I get there.

I'm also going to take a break from fandom events for the time being. I've learnt from this year that I write terribly when given deadlines, and I admit that it was bad planning on my part to sign up for HQSS and a zine on top of my own schoolwork, especially when I was already taking a module on creative writing. Creative drought hit fast and furious and made the last two months terrible for me, writing-wise. Next year, I want to make sure that I can give my writing the due time and effort that it deserves, rather than forcing myself to churn out work.

Most importantly, I want to keep growing as a writer. I'm happy with how my style has developed this year, and I want to continue growing. Besides improving my dialogue writing and visual descriptions, I also want to venture into writing more challenging AUs and also characters that I've never dared to try.

I also want to attempt long fic, in particular the fic that I'd outlined for Nanowrimo this year but never had the chance to start on. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that I'd make that Nano fic my year-long project for next year, except I don't know if I'll actually be able to make it draw out for as long as I want it to, and also because I doubt my discipline in sticking it out with one single work for a whole year.

Besides all that, I'll be slowly chipping away at making the Kuroyaku anthology a reality. That means REWRITE REWRITE REWRITE. With writing style changes come inconsistency in storytelling. I think I need to find some time and give myself the chance to standardise everything, and fix any glaring errors I might find.

We shall see. 2017 has been a fantastic year for me in fandom, both in writing and in finding a community. I hope 2018 is even better.

[6-v-6]

Title: ??? idk Five Drunk Idiots

WC: 2k

Pairing: OT5

Rating: none, there’s some dirty humor that’s it

anyways this is a short dumb thing I wrote for @flower-taemin since it’s her birthday today (go wish her happy birthday!!!!!) I love you bells I’m not creative or talented so this is all I could do for now but I hope u still like it even if it sucks <3 This is basically based on ot5 getting drunk together and ending up at kibum’s house idk

None of them had planned on getting drunk.

By the time their concert ended, all five of them dripping sweat and grinning breathlessly at each other as they changed, the last thing on Kibum’s mind was getting wasted. It’s not that he was against the idea, per se, but he had already started to fantasize about soft beds and warm showers when Jinki brought up the idea.

“Is anyone hungry?”

The change in atmosphere was immediate, morphing from lazy contentment to muted excitement as the two youngest members perked up at the mention of food. Kibum felt a twinge in his own stomach, but he was in the middle of a diet and hesitant to break it. The company wasn’t as strict with him anymore when it came to such things, but with an upcoming comeback Kibum had felt a sudden cloying need to slim up for their fans.

“I want ramen,” Taemin said, pulling his shirt over his head as their stylists expertly side-stepped his flailing arms. Day four, Kibum noted as he watched, mildly disgusted. Taemin was apparently set on making a record out of how long a person could wear the same shirt and get away with it. Again. The longest he’d ever gone was two weeks, and by then no one in the dorm could stand to be within six feet of him.

As his gaze zeroed in on a mysterious stain at the hem of Taemin’s collar, he was suddenly, painfully glad that he had his own apartment now.

“No way, we just had that for lunch. Let’s get barbeque,” Minho, predictably, began to argue.

Kibum silently cursed his life as the two started bickering in earnest, looking ridiculous as they hopped around in various states of undress.

“We always have barbeque though.”

“Yeah, well not everyone likes to eat the same thing for an entire day straight.”

“But there’s like, sixty different kinds of ramen!”

“Pouring ranch dressing into noodles doesn’t count as ramen, Taemin.”

“I don’t expect you to understand my refined taste in cuisine. And besides, I didn’t force you to eat ramen during my solo stage, you did this to yourself.”

Jinki was starting to look like he regretted asking.

“Actually, I want ramen too--” the words had barely left Jonghyun’s lips when Kibum had decided he’d had enough.

“We’re getting barbeque.”

Everyone fell silent at that, Taemin giving him an offended look from where he stood, pants pulled halfway up his thighs. Minho gave a loud whoop of victory and nearly tripped over in his attempt to latch himself onto Kibum. He managed to get his arms around Kibum’s shoulders, nose buried against his neck, happy smile pressed into his skin.

Jonghyun’s lower lip was wobbling and he quickly moved to hide behind Taemin, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder.

“I always liked Taemin better anyways,” he pouted.

Kibum just rolled his eyes and finished getting dressed, albeit hindered by the oversized teddy bear currently smothering him in affection. Jinki was sending him a quiet look of thanks from where he stood against the wall, the corners of his lips turned up in amusement. They all knew by now that Kibum was the judge, jury, and executioner when it came to decisions over dinner. No one dared to argue with him anymore, at least, not after the Great Incident of 2014.

“Jonghyun, get off of me I can’t move--” Taemin gave a short, aborted yell as they both went tumbling to the ground in a heap of limbs.

✧✧✧

The restaurant they ended up at was a hole-in-the-wall kind of place, tucked away down a sidestreet and out of sight from the main road. Gentle music drifted through the tiny room, and the quiet atmosphere always served to put Kibum at ease.

They ordered nearly everything on the menu, but enough experience told Kibum that they’d have no problem finishing it all.

It was when the beers were placed in front of them that things started to go downhill. A simple cheers for another successful concert steadily turned into a drinking competition among all five of them.

“It’s to celebrate,” Jonghyun explained as he downed his fifth--or was it sixth?--glass of alcohol.

No one had complained, and beer steadily turned into soju and soju turned into very, very bad ideas. Sober Kibum would be so disappointed in him, but drunk Kibum was quite literally at the wheel right now, and his inhibitions had taken a well-deserved vacation.

“We’re going to karaoke!” He shouted, not really sure why he yelled when the car was silent, but it felt good to hear his voice boom loudly from his throat so he didn’t stop. Damn, my voice is so nice. The thought buzzed around in his head for a moment and, gripped by sudden motivation, Kibum broke out into a slurred rendition of Judas.

“Kibum!” Jonghyun’s high-pitched yelp of terror had his eyes focusing back on the road in front of him, voice stuttering to a halt. Oh man, had that car always been that close? His feet slammed on the break, sending Jinki’s skull bouncing off the dashboard as the other three gripped onto each other for dear life.

“Dramatic,” Kibum muttered, successfully avoiding another accident as he barrelled down the road. He was a fantastic driver.

Jinki groaned faintly from the passenger’s seat, cradling his head in his hands, and Kibum felt bad for all of three seconds before the karaoke bar was finally in view and he was yelling at everyone to “Get ready, dick twitches, I’m about to blow you all away.”

He didn’t remember how he managed to park in his inebriated state, but when they all tumbled out of the car he couldn’t see any visible damages so he considered it a success and shuffled them all inside.

The second mistake of the night (more like the fiftieth) was ordering more alcohol when they booked a room.

They alternated between singing and drinking as the night wore on. Whenever Jinki was up, he picked rap tracks and made the rest of them burst out in laughter as he tried to follow along, getting increasingly worse the more drunk he got. Much to Kibum’s chagrin, no matter how drunk Jonghyun seemed to get he always nailed his notes. It was a small comfort that he never managed to get a perfect score, meaning that Kibum still had a chance to beat him.

Truthfully though, after the second hour all that Kibum remembered were random snatches of sound and flashing lights. At one point he’s sure that he hauled himself up to belt along to Ke$ha, though he couldn’t seem to recall all the lyrics and resorted to dancing in place instead, randomly yelling out snippets of phrases that he remembered. He scored a 23 but didn’t let it get him down.

Taemin scored a 0 when he selected what he thought was Rain’s “Rainism”, but was actually Big Bang’s “Loser”. He didn’t seem to notice, singing and dancing to Rainism as Loser played on the screen. When his score popped up he gasped in shock, hand flying to his heart.

“I scored a thousand…” he muttered, swaying in place. “I’m amazing.”

Jonghyun loudly congratulated him, slapping him on the back probably a little too harshly, but neither seemed to notice Minho snickering from his seat.

Surprisingly, it was Minho himself who scored 100, singing along to SHINee’s own song View and pulling off everyone’s parts flawlessly. When he was done he turned to Kibum in a flourish, nearly overbalancing himself before he caught the edge of the couch.

“Didn’t…” he stopped to wet his lips. “Didn’t you say you’d… show us your dick twitch tonight?”

Kibum nearly died on the spot.

“What?!”

He hadn’t said that, had he? God, he couldn’t even remember. He didn’t even know what that meant.

“Nooo,” Jinki slurred. He was slouched against the couch. Kibum had honestly thought he’d passed out hours ago. “I think he said he’d blow us all. But he didn’t win, so…”

“Oh,” Minho looked contemplative, eyes unfocused but trained in Kibum’s direction. Taemin and Jonghyun were too busy howling in laughter to say anything productive. “Does that mean I have to blow you all?”

“No! God, no, I didn’t say that!” Kibum was at least 62% sure that he hadn’t said that.

“I won’t stop you,” Taemin piped up, apparently finding the most inopportune moment to calm his laughter.

“I won’t either,” Jonghyun said. His head was pillowed on Taemin’s lap but his eyes were swimming in drunken mirth.

“No, Minho, you’re not blowing anyone. This is a public place.” Kibum shot off the couch and yanked Minho down beside him when he turned to head over towards the two demons across from them. “Jinki, say something.”

A light snore was his only response. Kibum was way too drunk for this.

✧✧✧

The next morning he woke with a groan, pain lancing through his skull and starting up a steady drum behind his eyes. When he managed to pry them open, he realized he was lying on the couch in his own apartment. A pizza box lie open on the table in front of him, and as he pulled himself up he caught sight of two bodies sprawled out across the floor.

Taemin was lying on his back, pizza crumbs littered across his chest, with Minho’s head on his stomach and his arms snaked around his waist. They were breathing softly, and despite the throbbing of his skull Kibum found himself smiling at the sight of them.

If they were here, it meant Jinki and Jonghyun were too, though Kibum couldn’t see them anywhere in the room. Just the knowledge that they were all safe and together was enough to have his mind slowing down, eyes drooping. He’d barely laid down when he was falling asleep again.

The second time he woke, it was to the soft press of lips against his forehead.

“I made breakfast.”

Kibum pulled his eyes open, blinking sluggishly as the blurry figure above him slowly came into focus. Jonghyun was grinning down at him, practically nose-to-nose with Kibum, looking annoyingly awake and alert for someone that should be sporting one hell of a hangover.

As he processed the older boy’s words, he registered the smell of something cooking in his kitchen.

“You cooked in my kitchen?” He asked, words slurred with sleep this time rather than alcohol.

Jonghyun laughed, a light, airy sound that always seemed to make Kibum feel better.

“Sort of,” he admitted. With another laugh, he pressed a second kiss to the tip of Kibum’s nose and pulled away. “Come eat when you’re ready.”

As awake as he was likely going to get today, Kibum hauled himself into a sitting position and let his tired body relax into the cushions. He noted the absence of the two youngest members, as well as the absence of the pizza box and any remaining crumbs. A happy, affectionate warmth spread through his chest at the realization that they had cleaned up for him.

He didn’t even realize he was smiling until he was in the kitchen, watching the four boys he loved shovel noodles into their mouths. Well, three of them were. Jinki was lying with his face down on the counter, drool pooling on the tile and a bowl of noodles set out to wait for him.

“Ramen for breakfast?” Kibum asked as he joined them at the table. Jonghyun beamed at him and handed him a bowl of his own. “How can you even stomach this after last night?”

“We were deprived,” Taemin said, slurping loudly. He had chopsticks in one hand while his other rubbed against Jinki’s back.

“Hangovers won’t stop us,” Jonghyun added.

Minho just looked happy to be eating again, nodding along like he couldn’t care less that he had fought over ramen just the previous night.

Kibum sighed, shaking his head fondly. They were all idiots, but he never stopped loving them.

He was in the middle of chewing through his third bite of noodles when a thought hit him.

“You didn’t actually suck anyone’s dick last night, did you?”

Minho immediately grinned, eyeing him across the table though an embarrassed flush had started to color his cheeks red. “Not yours, sadly. Why, did you want to fix that?”

Kibum promptly choked and sprayed noodles all over Jinki’s sleeping form.

[startrekvigilant]

Earth in the year 2395 functions in a very different manner to any other comparable society we've known. It's a constantly moving wash of cultures and species. It's a utopia, but the point of this show is making the audience understand that even a utopic society can have corruption.

Since First Contact, vulcans have helped humans get back on their feet, and after a century of cleaning up the mess we made of each other and the planet, Earth is a comforting and enjoyable place to be. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is always fulfilled when an individual needs it, there's no longer capitalism so there's no need to slave away at a job you despise to survive. 

People work because they find joy in it, people interact because they want to.

In the 24th century privacy is sacred, and if you need to be alone it's just as easy to find as it is to be sociable. Keep in mind the sheer amount of destruction the combined forces of the Eugenics Wars, WWIII, and the Dystopian Years did to the planet. Many places are unrecognizable, destroyed, changed, built up or completely abandoned. Many parts of the globe are still hazardous wastelands, some have been bombed completely off the map. 

So what I'm trying to get at is that earth is structured into four main parts.

Most of the area in the world is made up of empty space as 90% of the current population reside in heavily built-up urban areas. The total population of Earth is kind of impossible to tell since many people are coming and going so quickly, however, there is about 9 billion individuals who claim earth as their permanent place of residence, meaning they live on the surface for most of the earth year. 

These people live all over - cities, suburbs, farms, etc. But just please remember the world is a much different place. No one cares about countries, or nationalities or passports in the same way we do now. 

This doesn't mean they no longer exist! It's just a formality now. Think of it like the brontosaurus. We know now that these creatures were actually a mix up of two separate creatures and eventually re-categorized them - but the name stuck. It's the same way for the places on a map. 

Borders and state lines don't actually exist, but we still refer to places as "The Canadian/American border" because we have for so long. "Canada" and "The United States of America" aren't real places, they're just names we use to describe certain surroundings. 

All of earth is accessible and no human is illegal. 

Turns out people move around on the surface in fairly predictable patterns. Ribbons of human movement flow through habitable parts of the planet like rivers, and certain areas build up into impossible numbers. These huge areas crammed full of people are referred to as a megalopolis. 

in other areas of the globe, sometimes surrounding a megalopolis and sometimes not, there are rows upon rows of homes commonly referred to a "The Endless Suburbia." Where these rivers of human populace taper out, there is only the pristine and cared for ecosystems, untouched wilderness and organized farmland. 

The Wilderness

in the aftermath of WWIII, when the bombs finally stopped and society collapsed, human structures were engulfed by nature once more, and the planet began to take back a part of itself. Centuries later, these parts of the world are vast expanses unchecked old-growth forests and ecosystems. Yet remember the wilderness isn't empty of human activity - many on Earth still chose the Wild over civilization, or live a nomadic life outside of the monolithic cities and the endless rows of houses that surround them, living in these parts of the globe on traditional homesteads and campgrounds. The possibility of meeting another human without prior planning is slim. Much of the planet is empty space, wide open spaces where nature is finally able to heal itself. 

mega + metropolis = megalopolis

typically defined as a chain of roughly adjacent metropolitan areas, coined approximately around 1915. In 2395 it's a term used to describe behemoth cities, towering into the atmosphere. They're a whirl of movement at every given time, filled with humans and aliens alike. Earth is the home of the federation after all, and these places really prove that. They exist all over the world and each one is vastly different from the other. it's a mishmash of strong human cultures and strange new alien ones. There are people everywhere. But there are also many parks, trees, gardens, and overall greenery. But the buildings are what make up everything, with hardly any horizon or break to it. For someone not used to it, it could give a person horrible vertigo.

Megalopolis' are made up of levels on a scale of 1-9.

In a level one section of a city, interaction between people is quiet and minimal. A very kind place to overwhelmed human beings or shy new arrivals. It's where many the of the senior homes and nurseries are found, as well as where the sleep pods originate - small and private enclosures with a bed and covers. They have padded walls, touch screens and dim lighting, designed to keep a single person safe and warm for however long they need.

As the levels go higher, so to does the social engagement. Level two has beautiful cafes and libraries; level three is what we would consider the shopping district, but in a society that has little to no concept of capitalism, it operates itself in a very different way. The overall feel to it is that of a giant mall - complete with food courts and window shopping. 

Levels 5-7 have the best bars, restaurants, and dance clubs. It's where a majority of people live, and host some of the more famous landmarks. Level 8 have intricate, beautiful gardens and first class dining experiences. It's the most romantic of all the levels, with cascading fountains and winding canals. 

Level 9 is for adults only. It's where the brothels are, where free love is found willingly and you're never really alone, baby. Level 9 is a place of excess, a never ending pride parade. Many festivals and concerts happen on level 9, and it always kind of feels like it's your birthday when you're there.

Now when I say level, I don't mean one stacked on top of the other per se, but the general idea is that each of these cities on earth are divided up into the nine sections similarly, even though each megalopolis is unique from the other. These places are always changing, moving and growing like an organic creature. It's easy to move from one level to the other, or jump between them. There are huge transporting stations on each level, with people phasing in and out constantly, from any and every different place on earth. The skies are filled with movement, shuttle pods and flying cars, zooming about different regions of the stratosphere. There is no real ground level, it all just meshes together.

Endless Suburbia

Exactly like it sounds. Just huge swaths of land stretching out for miles, all filled with houses. It looks a lot like what suburbia does today, except without roads or fences. It's beautiful well kept front yards, with criss-crossing walkways to connect them. The homes are pristine, either filled with families who have been living there for years, or completely empty, waiting for someone who needs to use a roof over their head. There are parks and nature reserves, but mostly it's row upon row of backyards and homes of every different size and style.

the things we consider private property in the 21st century (houses, cars, yards, etc) have taken new forms after the centuries of dramatic changes on earth. There are no more roads; all that activity takes place stratosphere. You'd think that would cause havoc on the weather, and you'd be right! Except for the fact that according to Gene Roddenberry (CITATION NEEDED) Humanity now has the power to control the weather...possibly thanks to the vulcans? Anyway the daily traffic of people coming and going happens too high to disturb the local fauna, flora and person. But what happens if there's a crash, or an explosion? That's what shields are for, dummy! Starfleet uses the same technology to protect  starships that hold the same amount of people as a local township in endless suburbia, so it's feasible to think there's this similar bubble over heavily population regions on earth.

Looking at a map today it's hard to distinguish where these regions would be...I know for sure the main one is in North America, Starting in Alaska, it cuts through western Canada, the central united states, ending in south eastern Mexico. the east coast of the American continent is in ruins. Some of it is still irradiated. the western coast is similar but on a much smaller scale. the Megalopolis' in North America are located around the great lakes, and several are in the arctic circle. 

FARM COUNTRY

of course earth would still be producing food the traditional way, agriculture is still an essential part of human society, it's physically changed the landscape of the planet. Most of the southern west coast of North America (Turtle Island) is made up of these hundreds of thousands of individual and collectively owned farms.

The countries that used to make up most of the middle east and some of south west Africa are drastically different after the events of the eugenics war, world war three, and the dystopian years that followed until First Contact. The east coast of North America - from New York to Florida - was hit particularity hard in the War Years, and in fact much of the major metropolitan areas on the coast are still considered to have dangerous levels of radiation that it is still healing from.  

However, even though the areas from Southern BC extending to the gulf of California were also bombed during the war years,  the damage was not nearly as extensive as the east coast. As a result, this area was able to recover much more quickly, with added thanks to the combined efforts of both humans and vulcans during the Great Rebuilding. 

[junker-town]

10 college football teams we are already overrating for 2019

Which teams do you plan to spend the entire offseason gassing up?

With the 2018 season wrapped up and Clemson on top, the race is on to figure out who’s going to be good in 2019.

Lots of teams will catch hype as the season approaches. There are already way-too-early top 25s, and you can already bet on the 2019 champ.

But seeing as we’re fully aware lots of teams will end up being wildly overrated by media and fans alike, let’s get in on that process right now and state which teams we’re (probably way too) high on.

Here are our (wildly differing) reasons for overly liking a few teams. Join in!

Alex Kirshner: Texas A&M

I wondered if Jimbo Fisher would get more millions of dollars than wins during the life of his TAMU contract. But A&M came closer to beating Clemson than anyone else did all year. A&M came closer to beating Bama than everyone except Georgia, Oklahoma, and Clemson. On top of that, the Aggies didn’t have a single bad loss, with the closest things being a blown lead at Auburn and a struggle against Mississippi State’s great defense.

A good bowl performance should juice the preseason hype train a little bit. The offense had exactly two seniors starting at the end of the year, and one was the 12th Man fullback. The defense will lose three quarters of its starting line but should return a lot at the second and third levels, and Fisher signed the best class in Texas this year.

It also appears the Aggies will return college football’s most beastly punter:

Mainly, this sport’s more fun when we’re acting like A&M’s going to bulldoze everyone. I will not be accepting any feedback at this time that points out that the Aggies have road games with Clemson, Georgia, and LSU. OK, cool. Gig ‘em.

Jason Kirk: Louisville

Well, Bobby Petrino was their head coach, but he is no longer their head coach (even if full post-Bobby cleanup tends to take most teams a while). The new coach built one of FBS’ best teams at a school that’d recently been in FCS and will surely restore the roar in the Big Pizza Slice.

Bud Elliott: South Carolina

The Gamecocks have a murderous SEC schedule, having to play Alabama and Texas A&M, plus North Carolina on a neutral site and games against Appalachian State and Clemson.

But most of the tough SEC games other than Alabama are on the road. Winnable league games against Kentucky, Florida, and Vanderbilt are at home.

In a year in which many will likely sell on South Carolina’s ability to make a bowl, I’ll buy. This team played a ton of freshmen down the 2018 stretch, especially in the secondary and on the offensive line. That experience could pay off when combined with a senior QB in Jake Bentley.

Alex Kirshner: Nebraska

It’s Scott Frost’s year two, which means an undefeated season is on the way, and then we get to yell about whether going unbeaten through a soggy Big Ten West makes a team worthy of a Playoff spot. Can’t imagine there will be any anger there!

The Huskers finished 4-2 after starting 0-6. Their two losses in that span — to Ohio State by 5 and Iowa by 3 — both could’ve been wins without much going differently. Adrian Martinez is a high-upside QB, JD Spielman should remain one of the best receivers in the Big Ten, and I’m totally prepared to just gloss over the fact that the country’s No. 65 defense by S&P+ will lose (at least) five of its top six tacklers.

The Huskers’ schedule is enticing. Non-conference is light, with South Alabama and NIU at home and Colorado on the road. CU beat Nebraska last year but needed absurd luck, then cratered and fired its coach. (And of course, there’s no way Nebraska could ever lose to NIU at home. Nope, none.) The league slate includes Northwestern, Iowa, and Wisconsin coming to Lincoln.

Nebraska should only be a big underdog in one game, but the Buckeyes are contractually obligated to lose one road Big Ten West game per season by at least four touchdowns, so I like Frost’s chances.

Jason Kirk: Texas

Certain members of the Shutdown Fullcast have predicted nine-win seasons for the Longhorns for the past four years in a row, making The World’s Only College Football Podcast also the world’s only college football media outlet to actually overrate Texas every year.

Do you think we’re going to stop aiming the Horns at the stars and landing on the moon, now that we were finally proven right for once? Here is footage of our editorial discussion on this matter:

Alex Kirshner: North Carolina

What worked with Vince Young in 2005 is absolutely going to work with whoever UNC puts at quarterback in 2019. Can you say (ACC Coastal) “Championship?”

Matt Brown: UConn

Sure, UConn went 1-11 in 2018. Sure, their defense was literally one of the worst in the long history of this stupid sport. Sure, they will need to replace their senior quarterback, who also led the team in rushing, and their top three receivers. Sure, their 2019 recruiting class is ranked 127th, behind Harvard, Eastern Michigan, and gasp, Kansas.

But where you see problems, I see opportunity. Folks, this is time to buy low on an affordable gut rehab program in the expensive Northeast. Replacing all that offensive production? Well, it’s not like that offense won a lot of games last year. Horrific defense? Well, basically everybody on the two deep returns, and think of all the experience they got last year! Recruiting class ranked poorly? That’s just because Randy Edsall needs to find the right guys who WANT to be Huskies. Also, because he probably gets a contract bonus for signing a class ranked exactly 127th.

Look. UConn finished dead last in S&P+ this season. There’s nowhere to go but up. So if you want a team almost literally guaranteed to improve, hop on the UConn bandwagon. There’s plenty, plenty of room.

Jason Kirk: Alabama

With Tua Tagovailoa’s entire skill corps back, perhaps Nick Saban’s best incoming freshman class yet, and great reason for Saban to spend the next eight months screaming at everyone in sight, the Tide will win Super Bowl 54, the CONCACAF Gold Cup, and the Academy Award for Best Screenplay along the way to setting up Bama-Clemson Round 6. Breezing past Round 5, yes.

Matt Brown: Pitt

We know how Pitt seasons typically go. They languish around .500, then clobber an amazing team once we least expect it. They didn’t do that in 2018, meaning the PITT SUPER WEAPON IS STILL CHARGING.

And if they have an entire extra offseason to charge? There’s no telling how high Pitt could go. Eight wins? NINE?!? It’s all on the table.

Pitt finished a pretty nice 69th in S&P+ in 2018. The ACC is perpetually up for grabs. PUT PITT IN.

Bud Elliott: Minnesota

There are reasons to hype almost every team in the West Division of the Big Ten. But where is the hype on Minnesota? Right here, actually.

By the final week of the regular season, seven of Minnesota’s 11 listed starters on offense were freshmen or redshirt freshmen. Receiver Rashod Batemen had a tremendous year as a true freshman and should only climb.

Meanwhile, the Gophers lose only three starters on defense to graduation.

But what really makes me like this team for 2019 and even 2020 is hearing player personnel directors and recruiting analyst types for other programs lament Minnesota finding talent quickly and actually keeping those talents committed into the Early Signing Period.

Your turn. Who are you already inflating for 2019?

[esmeralda56t-blog]

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[businessliveme]

What Returning to Work Will Look Like in Offices, Cafes and Factories Around the World

(Bloomberg) — Wearable social-distancing buzzers. Masked blackjack dealers. Drive-thru electronics purchases. From cubicles to factory floors, cafes to clothing boutiques, businesses around the world are dreaming up creative ways to reopen, attempting to start revenue flowing again while minimizing the risk to customers and employees.

The global economy is riding on their ability to pull off that delicate balance. A new flareup of Covid-19 cases could shutter offices, stores, restaurants and manufacturing plants once again, further choking off the flow of goods and services and threatening more jobs. Some governments, such as China, are providing rigorous oversight of the process. Others, including President Donald Trump’s administration, have offered looser guidance and are entrusting businesses to monitor their facilities. Scientists are still studying how the virus is spread, and whether keeping people six feet apart is enough, adding to the risks.

The companies’ plans rely on a steady supply of masks, gloves, thermometers and tests that is likely to strain budgets and manufacturers’ ability to keep up. Social distancing will be built in, with people divided by barriers and kept apart from colleagues and customers, a U-turn after years of movement toward open floor plans. Some companies will monitor employees more closely than ever before, while others will let workers choose how much protection they need. The way we work, shop, travel and eat in 2020 – and probably beyond – is being plotted out in boardrooms around the world.

Here are the changes companies are contemplating for their workplaces in the coming weeks.

The Office

Seats on the shuttle bus to Unilever’s Shanghai offices can be reserved using a chat group. Employees must be masked to board, and they sit on alternating sides, one person to each four-seat row. Upon arrival, each worker scans a QR code and fills out a health status report to get a daily pass to enter. Then comes the temperature check and the hand sanitizer.

Inside the office, movement is tightly regulated. Employees keep their masks on and are encouraged to use the stairs instead of the elevator, with spritzes of hand sanitizer before and after touching the regularly disinfected handrail. In the canteen, a single person is allowed at each four-seat table.

Such measures might seem predictable in a centrally controlled society like China, but some version of them is starting to appear in the West. At Britain’s former state phone monopoly, BT Group Plc, call center workers sit two meters apart, and walkways are designated as one-way to keep people from brushing past each other. Temperature checks are becoming routine at Sistema, the Russian conglomerate, which also says it’s developed its own two-hour test for Covid-19. Employees who come to the office have been tested in the past couple of weeks, though as many as half of the call center workers at MTS, the mobile network controlled by Sistema, are operating out of their homes.

More Room

Flexible space operator Knotel, which runs offices for corporations including Uber and Netflix, says workplace design has to change. Offices will likely be less densely populated, and altered to make them “antiviral,” according to Amol Sarva, Knotel’s chief executive officer.

“Things like ventilation, UV light, density screening, video monitoring, and temperature monitoring, cleaning protocols — those are all going to have to change,” he said. “Certainly there’ll be more space.”

In China, Cushman & Wakefield has helped move nearly a million workers back into 800 million square feet (74 million square meters) of office space. The company is creating a Recovery Readiness manual for landlords and tenants, based in part on its experience in China, that includes colored carpets to create visual boundaries around desks, plexiglass shields between desks that face each other and signs that direct walking traffic in a single direction.

Fewer Meetings

Even when people do come back to the office, meetings will be limited, and large gatherings are out of the question. This week, Facebook Inc. CEO Mark Zuckerberg canceled all physical events of 50 or more people through June 2021. The vast majority of employees are required to work from home through May, and those who need to carry on doing so will be able to work at home through the summer.

The road to normalcy may be much longer than that. At Abcam Plc, a British protein research company, 40 out of 300 China-based employees started returning to work in Beijing, Shanghai, Hangzhou and Hong Kong on Feb. 14. Two months later, the company is running split shifts to maintain distancing for the roughly 50% of employees based in manufacturing, logistics and essential lab work.

The Factory

On Feb. 10, Winly Automotive (Wuhan) Ltd. was assigned a checklist from the government. To reopen, the company would be required to have a one-month stash of masks and sanitizer, take a photo of the supplies, and send it to officials before submitting to a detailed inspection. “The policy has been constantly changing,” said Wang Xuepan, one of the plant’s managers. “It’s very difficult for us to handle.”

In the Seattle area, Boeing Co. has worked with the Washington state labor department on a plan to reopen its factories. It will be doling out cloth masks to most workers, saving the gold-standard N95 masks for a select few in more hazardous conditions.

Unlike office drones, factory workers have to show up in person to get the job done. Figuring out what basic protections they’ll need is part of the challenge. At Boeing, industrial engineers are analyzing the sequence of work on its assembly lines to find ways to spread apart workers.

Taking the Temperature

Airbus SE has divided employees at its plants into red and blue teams, who don’t see each other because they use different routes to enter and exit buildings. Volkswagen AG is allotting more time between shifts and reducing expectations for production because it takes longer for people to move around each other at a safe distance. Ford Motor Co. is experimenting with wearable devices that would buzz workers if they get too close together.

While the virus can be transmitted by people with no symptoms, many manufacturers are doing temperature checks, whether with thermometers, thermal imaging cameras or — in the case of Fiat Chrysler Automobiles NV in the U.S. — reusable forehead strips.

Fiat Chrysler, whose CEO Mike Manley is one of the executives talking with Trump about reopening the economy, is requiring workers to fill out a health questionnaire two hours before reporting to work each day. They must bring either a hard copy, or scan a QR code with their phone, to prove they aren’t displaying signs of illness or exposure to the virus, according to documents obtained by Bloomberg. Workers can’t enter the plant without it.

Some companies are closing cafeterias in favor of vending machines. Dongfeng PSA in Wuhan is handing out prepared lunchboxes to employees, who must eat at least 1.5 meters apart with their backs to each other.

Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. said Chairman Li Shufu wrote a song to keep workers motivated through such dreariness. “A world full of expectations/Turned to dust of yesterday,” the lyrics go. “Their sorrow flowing into the sea/But the flower of love is quietly blooming.”

The Airplane

When air travel resumes in earnest, it’s likely that hand sanitizers, face masks and thermometers will become standard at most major airports, said David Powell, medical adviser for the International Air Transport Association, a trade group. All three have shortcomings, but can also reassure passengers, he said.

The International Civil Aviation Organization, which sets global flying standards, wants to establish a “public health corridor concept.” Under such a plan, major airlines, airports, public authorities and other parties would adopt common protocols for screening, boarding, in-flight procedures, arrivals, customs and baggage.

“We cannot all just stop flying,” Ansa Jordaan, the group’s chief of aviation medicine, said during an April 15 webcast.

Emirates Airline said this week it was the first to conduct rapid Covid-19 blood tests, with results available in 10 minutes for passengers flying Wednesday from Dubai to Tunisia. It plans to extend the procedure to other flights, according to Chief Operating Officer Adel Al Redha.

Other carriers are attempting less invasive measures. Etihad Airways, another major airline in the United Arab Emirates, plans to deploy touchless self-service devices at its hub airport in Abu Dhabi to identify travelers with medical conditions, including the early stages of coronavirus.

In the U.S., American Airlines Group Inc. plans to continue spacing customers apart during boarding and flights, conducting extensive cleanings of aircraft and reducing food and beverage service to limit contact, CEO Doug Parker said in an April 15 video message.

“When you do fly, aircraft cleanliness and social distancing matter greatly,” he said.

The Store

In China, it’s become standard to have your temperature taken any time you want to go shopping. Visitors to the Wuhan International Plaza luxury mall are checked for a fever at the door, before they queue up to be served one at a time at Louis Vuitton.

Levi Strauss & Co. disinfects its Chinese stores three times a day and requires temperature checks for customers, who are expected to wear masks before entering the store. Fitting rooms and products that have been tried on are disinfected each time they’re used.

It’s unclear whether practices implemented in China will make their way to other parts of the world, though several companies said they’ll learn from their experience in Asia.

Drive-Thru Shopping

Another technique is to keep shoppers out of the store altogether. Dixons Carphone Plc, the electronics retailer, is considering plans for contact-free “drive-thru” style stores to limit the risk of coronavirus for staff and customers. Shoppers would park outside, call the store to select items to buy, use a contactless system to pay and then open their trunks so staff could deliver the products.

Salespeople at luxury retailers in China were already using social media to engage with customers before the outbreak, but they’ve stepped up the effort since, adding clients on WeChat and sending them information about the latest trends. Louis Vuitton tried showcasing its summer product line in a livestream show on March 26 featuring a social-media star, but was ridiculed for the quality of the video. Sometimes there’s no substitute for personal contact.

The Restaurant

Buffets and salad bars will be re-thought, and self-serve drink stations may be “a thing of the past,” said Taco John’s CEO Jim Creel, who added that other changes are afoot at the 387-store chain. Taco John’s popular salsa bar — around for the past 15 years — may be removed.

“We hope we don’t have to take them out — that we’ll be able to figure out a way to make them still work — but I’m afraid the fear factor our there will force us to go to a pre-packaged option.”

A test of self-ordering kiosks may also get pulled back. “It was a good idea three months ago, but not so good today,” Creel said.

Phone Pay

In China, restaurants and even bars have opened back up in Shanghai, with varying limits on seating arrangements – some allow six to a table, others only one. In Beijing, restaurants are doing temperature checks. In Wuhan, most places are still delivery-only.

“In the short run, as dining rooms open back up again, you’ll probably see many restaurants space their tables a little bit further apart,” said Jack Li, CEO of menu researcher Datassential. “You’ll see more restaurants try to adopt phone pay. So not having to hand your money or card to anyone. You’re certainly going to see more places continue to do things like contactless delivery.”

Starbucks Corp. is taking a store-by-store approach to resuming business activities in the U.S., with services limited to drive-thru, delivery and takeout via mobile orders and contactless pickup.

“As we experienced in China, this will be a journey,” CEO Kevin Johnson wrote in a memo to staff on Thursday.

The Menu

Chains are cutting back menus, focusing on products that sell best and are easy to make. Romano’s Macaroni Grill has pared down its menu to 70% of what it used to be, saying goodbye to pizzas and calzones recently. McDonald’s all-day breakfast menu is gone.

Fazoli’s Italian restaurant chain is trying to secure Purell sanitizing stations – four for each store — along with “millions” of alcohol-based wipes for re-opening the dining rooms of its 216 locations. The company is also re-thinking bathrooms and looking into touch-less soap dispensers. It’s an investment, but a worthwhile one, says CEO Carl Howard.

“I want to let the consumer know I’m doing everything I can to keep them as safe as possible,” Howard said in an interview.

The Arena

Large public gatherings aren’t top of mind yet in China, but Trump and the people who run the U.S.’s biggest sports leagues appear aligned in their thinking that live games, at least in some form, are a critical part of helping the country recover.

“The progression needs to be open outdoor sports first, golf, tennis, swimming so that we can start to test the waters — that I’m fine with,” said billionaire Mark Cuban, who owns the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks.

One obstacle may be local politicians. When UFC floated plans to host an event this weekend on tribal land in California without spectators, it was pressure from politicians, including Governor Gavin Newsom, that led to its cancellation. Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti has reportedly discussed the possibility of prohibiting large gatherings like concerts and sporting events in the city for another year.

The Movies

That said, there’s billions on the line for sports leagues, sponsors and media networks if the games don’t resume soon. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious-disease expert, has said that that the only way to do that this summer is to close venues to fans and keep all the players, coaches and referees isolated from society.

Cinema owners are also waiting to see when health officials give them clearance to open up. Cinemark Holdings Inc., the third-largest U.S. movie chain, has been in discussions with major film studios about when to release blockbusters again. The chain’s management thinks they could begin bringing back staff starting in late June, then build up a marketing campaign for a broader re-opening on July 1.

The experience won’t be like it was before coronavirus hit. The chain will either have to limit the available tickets for each showing, leaving about half its seats open. Or it may eliminate reserved seating, so customers can voluntarily spread themselves out when they arrive. Cleaning will have to be ramped up, and opening hours may be limited to accommodate the changes.

“How long that will take? We’re not completely certain,” said Mark Zoradi, Cinemark’s CEO, on a call with analysts and investors on Wednesday. “But we’re planning on anywhere from one to three months to light up that engine again and then to begin with higher profile, new product.”

The Casino

Las Vegas casino executives have discussed opening with as little as one-third of their rooms available, with limited entrances where guests’ temperatures could be checked. Casino employees would wear masks and gloves, and gamblers would sit at least a chair apart at blackjack tables.

The moves are similar to what is already occurring in Macau, the world’s largest gambling market, where casinos closed for 15 days in February and reopened under tight restrictions.

The companies are also discussing enhanced cleaning techniques, something unions have requested.

Fun Parks

The $19.3 billion U.S. theme park industry is also making plans, though no one knows when gates will reopen.

When they do, employees may be wearing masks and temperatures may be checked not only at the entrances but inside as well, said Dennis Speigel, a theme park consultant in Cincinnati. Operators may also institute virtual queues, where guests snag a place in line through an app and come to ride when it’s their turn.

“The theme park of the future is going to have to take a much different turn, from distancing to wanding to cleaning,” Speigel said. “I’ve never heard the fear in the voices that I’ve heard. Nobody knows what they’re going to be doing.”

  The post What Returning to Work Will Look Like in Offices, Cafes and Factories Around the World appeared first on Businessliveme.com.

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GRID – Review

Picture this: It is January 2009, and there’s me in a sweltering office playing a game I just picked up with some Christmas cash. I had seen a friend play this the year before, but the highly-detailed yet almost creamy graphics still captivate me as I finally fire it up on my own PC. That game was Racedriver: GRID, and I was coming up fast to my first turn gunning a sexy black Dodge Viper.

I tense up, press right on my keyboard, and something totally unexpected happens – the Viper ACTUALLY TURNS! Now wait just one second, this did not say sim-racer on the box! How can extremely responsive controls and realistic physics coexist with action-packed and enjoyable racing in the same game!? Gosh, you can even rewind the time a la Prince of Persia if you make an accident.

The opening of the game takes you through a brief montage of the racing disciplines. This is the first time I ever played a Nascar game!

As a then hardcore Need for Speed fanboy, this was like nothing I had ever played before. Codemasters had stumbled upon an incredible marriage between sim and arcade racer with Racedriver: GRID that totally changed my perception of what this genre can do. Now this union has reached its eleventh anniversary in the form of 2019’s GRID, and the relationship is still going very strong in my opinion.

Turbo flutter

Like any marriage there have been some rough patches. While by no means a bad game, GRID 2 blipped on the radar and then simply drowned amidst the releases of other heavyweights like Bioshock Infinite and GTA V. Then there was Grid Autosport which tried to introduce complexity in an effort to match the gameplay modes of modern racing games, but sacrificed its own identity in the process.

To make the series relevant again, Codemasters brought 2019’s GRID back to the roots of what drew gamers more than a decade ago. In this way, GRID is defined by an overall design that just wants to get the player behind the steering wheel as quickly as possible so that they can get down to what really matters: damn fine auto sport. It is what I wanted from this game, and GRID certainly delivered.

Cockpit view without the steering wheel is also an option. Sim-racers should be happy. Also, have you ever noticed what utter imbeciles spectators next to the road can be.

From a gameplay point of view, the physics once again straddle that elusive middle territory between realism and arcade gameplay. The responsive steering and they way the cars stick to the road gives control to the player, and make the cars predictable in how they will handle. This consistency allows skilled virtual drivers to own their talents, but also avoids an overly steep learning curve.

Moreover, I really liked how each of the cars feel so different that they could practically be turned into their own separate games. The F1000 cars drive like a bar of soap on a prison floor in that they whizz around the twisty, closed circuits like lightning.

The Minis, on the other hand, have only four gears and drive a slower and more sluggish race around the track. They turn pretty fast, but building up speed to pass your opponents is a little harder. Then there are the touring cars which allow for blistering speeds on the straights in street races, but those hairpin turns will force you to come all the way down to 2nd gear if you don’t feather the throttle properly.

Why don’t more racing games have replay options!?

GRID’s arcade heritage comes out in the forgiving perks of the gameplay. The acceleration of the cars is perhaps a little exaggerated, particularly in the NPC drivers, but at least players have the option to catch up after an rendezvous with the tire barrier. As mentioned, the ability to rewind time returns here, and players will only have a limited number of these which helped me not to abuse this feature like I tend to do when playing Forza Horizon.

Speaking of which, GRID’s nemesis system was one of the key features mentioned in the game’s marketing campaigns. Theoretically, whenever you give another NPC (including your team mate strangely enough) a particularly hard knock, they will mark you as a ‘nemesis’. Woe betide you if you get within striking distance of their car once you put a sizable dent in their Camaro.

In practice, I barely noticed anything at all even after evoking bloodlust from more than one driver during a race. I don’t insist on the inclusion of this feature per se since an NPC trying to play demolition derby while you are just trying to race could become infuriating. Yet, it could have been a cool addition if it was actually noticeable, or worked properly.

Auto detailing

Aaah yes, the graphics. Whether off-road or on the track, Codemasters has always created outstanding visual fidelity in their racing games regardless of other shortcomings. I will never forget those DirectX 11 tessellated puddles in Dirt 2 since it was one of the first, useful implementations of this tech. GRID has no intention of breaking this tradition.

This game is a beauty. Aside from a blurry road texture here, and a flat-looking building there that snuck into view, the cars and tracks have been beautifully recreated in lightly stylised visuals. All the lines, curves and reflections on cars have been rendered in sharp detail, and the tracks are highly reactive to light and the refractions of sunlight from the surface of the tarmac.

A basic livery editor is always nice

GRID is sure to compliment these visuals with bone-rattling audio so you can really feel those pops and roars from the exhaust pipe as you gear down on the straight for an upcoming turn. The game even comes with support for Dolby Atmos, which I can only imagine to be an utter eargasm if you have the gear.

Do some people actually have access to this for their PC’s these days, or is this just a feature carried over from consoles? Anyway, you can tell Codemasters wanted to make something that looks good and that keeps within their tradition of running well on PC. Such a shame that my entire Dirt collection has now been nullified because Games For Windows Live. There’s a place in Hell for you Microsoft.

Lumps with the gravy

Rather than prattling on about the small little nit-picks which are cancelled out by the positives anyway, there is one unavoidable issue with this game, namely the scaling of the difficulty. When set to medium, even with manual sequential transmission starting right at the back of the grid, I could make utter mincemeat out to the competition.

I miss the the thing from the first game where the commentator could read my name. What’s the point otherwise of having a generic name like Pieter!? At least I get to fly my home colours.

I actually got a little bored with how efficiently I was feeding other drivers lungfuls of my dust, so I cranked the AI up to ‘Hard’. Suddenly everyone turned pro, and I felt like that driving school student who accidentally turned onto highway.

The gap was between medium and hard is simply too harsh, and the proof is in the hot laps before each race. For the unfamiliar, this is essentially a single lap against the clock where your time determines your position in the starting grid. The difference between medium and hard difficulty is nearly THREE SECONDS in the hot laps (for the front spot). If you know racing, this is practically an eternity.

Seeing the checkered flag

I know that some yobs on the internet are throwing around phrases like ‘bare-boned’ when describing GRID, but I actually appreciate the removal of all the pink fluff. I play this stuff all the time and I have watched too many racers plunge headlong into the muck because they tried to shoe-horn a ridiculous narrative into the game, or force the player into a convoluted progression system.

GRID gracefully sidesteps all of that by offering beautiful aesthetics and a simple roster of races for the player to complete. The focus here is on the actual driving and giving the player the opportunity to hone their skills within a consistent gameplay structure. The variety is built into the different tracks and skills required to drive all the different cars. This is not about what happens off the track.

I would insist that all gaming developers should play GRID because THIS is how you do a reboot of a series. Nearly every single strength of the first game has been replicated here, and the upgrades available through modern technology have been used to enhance the experience, and not as crutch to cash in on fans’ nostalgia.

Nice graphics

Great controls

Enjoyment in simplicity

Variety in cars and tracks

Harsh difficulty adjustments

Useless in-ear chatter

          PC Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an Xbox One Controller

The post GRID – Review appeared first on DSOGaming.

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