#going from a mostly bigoted dominated space

[vexx-the-egg]

The answer to "oh no I'm not X enough for this community" is always make- your own community. Not in a "make your own post" type way but in a "BE the person no you needed when no one else was there. Create the space that didn't exist for you".

Its the- "I could never wear that. I don't look like the type of person to wear X." Sure but you could be the first. You could create a whole new type of person who wears that. Be the first. Take the dive and I promise you otheres will follow.

Never seen someone plus sized into techwear? Be the first.

Don't see a lot of POC talking about your favorite anime?

Start posting your ideas.

Don't see a lot of Queer themed horror?

Pick up the pen.

People will try and tell you that these things are fixed but that's complete bulshit and you and I know it. Somewhere out there is a group of people just like you, waiting for someone to open that door

[kharrneth]

Queering the Blood God

This is Bo's fault btw @alphabitchnkari

Khorne is undoubtedly and unequivocally the most popular of the Chaos Gods, both among fans and with GW themselves. There are many reasons for this, and I believe one of those reasons is that in the hypermasculine and dark settings of Warhammer, both 40k and Fantasy, Khorne and his legions are the premier "manly" faction (and Warhammer is undoubtedly marked towards men and boys).

Khorne (and Khornates) are 100% a male power fantasy, albeit an evil one. He's the biggest, strongest Chaos God with traditional masculine associations (Bulls, Dogs, Wolves, War, Fighting, Courage, Honor, ect.). He's dominant, in control, in command, gets the hot girl (Valkia), and spurns the most feminine of the Chaos Gods, which is Slaanesh.

My own take on Khorne focuses on different aspects of his character that are there, but usually fade into the background or are not touched on a whole ton. My Khorne was designed with the aim of being attractive to both the feminine and queer gaze, while also staying true to the canon for the most part while ALSO actively defying the typical MPF body-type. Instead of the washboard abs that most male power fantasy characters go for, my Khorne is built more like a strongman. The strongman build is actually strong; the bodybuilder look many may use when they make a MPF character is actually mostly for aesthetic. Logically, it would make more sense for Khorne to look like this:

Taran Fiddler (Middle Piece), Lambstooth (Farthest Piece)

Than this:

Kratos, Wolverine, and Conan are Archetypal Male Power Fantasy Characters.

Also, since his Bloodthirsters look more like the second row, it would serve as a physical distinguisher between Khorne and his daemons. Most Chaos Ogres also worship Khorne, and therefore feed into his physicality, and let's not forget the fact that 1) Chaos Gods DO get fat and 2) most times we see Khorne he isn't exactly mobile.

Warhammer also takes place in what is essentially the Dark/Middle Ages, where the viewpoints on weight were different and associated with affluence, power, and privilege.

He's not exactly slender in the canon art either...

My Khorne conjures queer spaces and hopefully attracts the female gaze, too; at least, that was sort of the idea midways through his design. I wanted my Khorne to be appealing in the same ways and to the same people as King Bowser is from the Mario franchise. Khorne take inspiration from the Barazoku (Big Bara Blood God anyone?), the Bear community (Khorne is canonically hairy), and the furry Musclegut subcultures, since Khorne IS a dog furry.

Thus, the finished product:

Big Beautiful Blood God

Khorne is the quintessential manly god in the manly wargame that is warhammer, to the point of spurning and excluding the feminine. I had a lot of fun queering him. That will certainly upset the more close minded of the Warhammer community (and there are a lot of you; look at you especially 40k), but honestly the fact that Queered Khorne might piss of some bigoted dude tickles my fancy immensely.

[wolfertinger]

his whole “im just drawing authentic queer representation” defense rings hollow. hes not making representation. hes making fetish art that happens to use trans bodies as the template. and worse, hes doing it while trying to claim some moral high ground. acting like hes the sole pioneer of trans inclusivity when his work reeks of the same objectification and chaser behavior that actual trans people have been calling out for years.

the way he portrays transfem characters is downright gross. theres nothing inherently wrong with trans women having a dominant personality, but when every transfem character is reduced to being nothing more than a hypersexualized, aggressive top with a huge dick, it stops being representation and starts looking exactly like the kind of fetishization that trans women constantly have to deal with from cis people. theres never any nuance. never any exploration of their identities outside of how they perform in pornographic dynamics. and, of course, he doesnt even try to depict a non-feminine transfem character, because in his world, GNC only seems to apply when its about making transmascs as conventionally desirable to cis men as possible.

thats the real issue. hes not just making whatever art he wants in his own space. hes positioning himself as some kind of authority on trans representation while churning out content that reinforces the exact same hypersexualized stereotypes that trans people have been fighting against forever. and because his audience is mostly younger and less experienced in recognizing fetishization, they eat it up as if its some revolutionary thing. meanwhile, anyone who does call it out gets labeled as a bigot or a prude. as if theres no middle ground between accepting his weird chaser-tier nonsense and being some pearl-clutching conservative.

its not even just the art. its the way he carries himself. the smugness, the arrogance, the complete refusal to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, the trans people feeling uncomfortable with his work have a point. if he just admitted he was making fetish art and stopped pretending it was some grand act of visibility, people would probably still side-eye him, but at least he wouldnt be this insufferable hypocrite trying to guilt-trip people into supporting his work.

at the end of the day, people can draw whatever they want. but when you build a brand on being the ultimate trans representation artist while simultaneously playing into the same harmful tropes that cis fetishists love, then yeah, people are going to call you out. and he deserves it.

.

[queen-of-meows]

I just wrote a long rant about one particular wank in one particular fandom, but you know what ? It's not what I am mad about so I deleted it and I'm gonna rant about what's really on my mind.

Certain fandom spaces are extremely anti-fantasy in general. Anything that doesn't fit the narrow borders of realism is dismissed as "wierd" or "gross" and allegories are always treated with suspiscion because they are not a 1:1 representation of real life situation. And this is a problem in lots of big fandoms.

As an amateur fantasy writer, this tendancy is worrying me a lot because I am aware it is rotting my brain. I've noticed I am becoming more hesitant to write things as simple as relationships between humans and humanoid aliens, I am worrying about acceptable age gaps between characters who are millenia old, I am thinking of cancelling whole plot lines because I worry about the ethics of time travel (no matter the symbolic importance of those stories).

And it's not even the fear of being called out, I mostly write for one obscure sci-fi novel from 1997 and it's a miracle I gathered 4 readers at all. It is more insidious than that. I am becoming my own anti.

So yeah, I am worried to see how online fandom spaces are killing us inside (I can't be the only one). As human beings, we need stories to go through life and process things that are too big for us. Even when we sleep our brain weaves those stories, isn't that the proof creating fantasies is an inherent part of our humanity ?

Of course I am not saying that in fiction anything goes. We should be mindful of tropes with bigoted origins, and be critical of our dominant culture. But sometimes our brains need to make things bigger than life and it's what overzealous fandom culture is killing right now. I'm sure you all have a few exemples in mind in your own fandoms.

[sainzofthetimes16]

just realizing f1 is a male dominated sport . it’s kinda ??? not to think that this sport is male dominated full of male power just like all sports. sure charles didn’t say anything but his silence is just as bad as speaking out because he could have the exact same views at the men who did speak out. he hasnt been asked yet but if majority of the grid have the same views why are we surprised in this male dominated sport. zak brown and james speaking out is good but it can also be said that they want christian off the grid so it can benefit their teams and also the environment of the paddock.

but this sport is obviously filled with rich privileged men who think the world revolves around themselves. they even choose to surround themselves with women (and others) who have internalized misogyny and are bigots and that says a lot.

These are people who-in most cases, grew up in extremely rich families, desperate to be the best of the best. And while being one of the top 20 drivers in what’s considered by most to be the peak of motorsports, majority don’t and never will have a wdc.

That is the entire point of this. These are people with money, who strive to be the greatest and they can’t do that without redbull. Drivers careers are finite and they will do everything they can do get that second rb seat. You’re not going to hear a word disrespecting Christian coming from Daniel, Yuki or Checo. Max has the space to make those comment’s because every team wants Max Verstappen.

These are (mostly) spoiled rich kids who grew into desperate rich adults.

Bigots surround themselves with bigots, thats no suprise. We’re talking about a sport that dedicates accounts to the daily ongoings of drivers partners, who are objectified on the daily, with not a word in their defence.

If these drivers won’t defend their wives or their girlfriend, If a team principal wont defend his wife , is anyone surprised that drivers are chosing to abstain from voicing their support for a woman harassed by someone they work closely with?

Leclerc hasn’t spoken against Horner, but both his and Russel’s support of Women joining the grid says a lot more about their characters in comparison to Hulkenburg. It’s why i haven’t actively mentioned charles or george, because those two alongside sebastian and lewis have been comitted to participation of women in f1 for years, theres interviews from a few years ago, before Charles joined f1 speaking about his support. Charles,George, Lewis and Seb have spoken about the experiences women in motorsports endure, and Lewis and Charles have been sighted much more frequently supporting the f1 academy drivers than anyone else.

Complacency is agreement, but ongoing support certainly says more to me about a person then disrespecting women in motorsports, stating you felt bad for the alleged abuser and then making a post celebrating an entire 3 women on your linkedin a day later for international womens day 😃

[squipy-shippy]

2024 Info page!!!

Heya I'm squipy it's very nice to meet you. I'm a 21 year old aroace lesbian (any prns) who's been self snipping for a while but I never really got Into the community until recently. What else is there uuuuh well I'm autistic, I have 3 amazing irl partners,I love space,tech,music,animals,video game and cartoons. On this blog your mostly just going to see me rambling about fictional women maybe some edits and writing but yeah I'd love to be friends my ask are always open :D

Also if you'd prefer to not read a bunch of text here is my carrd with basically the same Info

I also do edits so if you wanna request somthing read this carrd and just send me an ask

BYF:

I am an adult however I won't be posting NSFW things very often and if i do it will be tagged with nsft and my tag I ask anyone under the age of 18 to block this tag

Sharing is fine I'm not going to ruin your safe space if you don't ruin mine so all I ask is just don't be a jerk and shove it in my face thinking your ship is more cannon or whatever

As stated I do have autism I also have anxiety so I ask please keep me out of drama I don't wanna be apart of it.

I fade in and out of f/o's and self shipping a lot mostly due to autism and me not being an artist sooo yeah

As stated this is my side blog the blog you'll see me interacte from is @squipy

DNI:

Bigots (homophobic,racist,misogynistic etc)

Transmeds

Pro ship/ers com ship/ers and those that are neutral on the subject

Rad queers (idc if I'm cross taging you I don't like you)

Anti xenogenders and neopronouns

Grammar police (people that constantly correct others spelling and grammar)

Anyone under the age of 15

F/O list:

Here it is the moment you've all be waiting on. Now this list isn't in any real order however demencia at the time of this post is my main f/o

Demencia-villinous-r-#🦎💻

Adagio dazzle-mlp eg-r -#🧜‍♀️👓

Cadence-club penguin-r-#🐧🎧

Lord dominator-woy-r-#👽🌋

Toriel-undertale-r-#🐑💌

Steve-blues clues-f-#🔍💙

Josh schmitty-jackbox/ydkj-f-#🩳💜

Cookie masterson-jackbox/ydkj-f-#🍪🧡

boog-fanboy & chum chum-f-#👊🥤

Flowey-undertale-p-#🏵😤

Here is some other tags that I use

#🔞😏-nsft and suggestive tag!!! Plz block this tag if you are under 18

#🤬🗣- my ranting tag mostly about things that upset me in the self ship community

#🐟🌙🥼-poly undertale tag

#🦜🐧⚗️-poly indigo park tag

#🩳🍪👪-jackbox family tag

[spectraltouch]

Minors, bigots, shitheads DNI. Begone.

This is a blog of fantasies, some of the more questionable kinks are engaged in with consent or not at all irl. That said, a probably non-exhaustive list of kinks I'm into:

Corruption Kink

Various aspects of Hypnokink

Various aspects of BDSM

including CNC

Orientation Play

Furry, to an extent

Monsters, including tentacles

Lactation

Hucow stuff

Genderplay

Sadism (lowkey)

Degradation/playful bullying/teasing

Forced orgasms/orgasm control

Patriarchy Kink

Other stuff I'm forgetting (I'll probably add more over time)

Stuff I'm not into

Pretty much any bathroom stuff

Torture, Gore, Snuff

Vore

Most aspects of age play

Masochism

There's also probably plenty of stuff that's in more of a gray area. I should find a kink list to fill out or an ask meme to get some ideas from y'all.

I'm some flavor of nonbinary. Maybe genderfluid. Especially in the digital space. I'm experimenting still, so use whatever pronouns you want. Switchy but mostly dominant. Mostly into feminine folk but there's some wiggle room there.

This is still a work in progress (I'm not even sure what name I wanna go by on here yet). I'll be updating this post as I go, including leaving tags on it that end up getting a lot of use.

I'll also probably make posts that go into detail about the stuff I mention in this post, then link to them on here, because I enjoy some rambling about kinks. To that end, feel free to ask me anything you're curious about! It's good fun to talk about kinks and whatnot.

[sp-by-april]

please tell us your theories about the fandom, why they mischaracterize the characters like that? I’ve never seen this in any fandoms and I’ve been on plenty.

First, there's this culture of toxic positivity, where even disagreeing with something politely is seen as a very bad thing actually - nevermind if you try to call out racism or antisemitism.

It's like the geek social fallacies ramped up to 11 - If you don't ignore the bigots, you're the bad person actually. It says a lot about the culture of this fandom that it's more willing to railroad the people talking about bigotry than the bigots. Being "negative" is seen as making the fandom space bad, as opposed to the people who are making Jews and Black people feel unsafe to hang out with yall.

Sometimes I think it's a feature not a bug - just a way to push people out for not assimilating. (Ironic, considering what I said before about how people like this need their minorities to fix in boxed for their comfort).

The fandom also gasses itself up too much and there ends up being this echochamber/feedback loop of the same fanon stuff feeding itself and becoming the dominant culture.

Then you have the fact that it's an adult show, for an adult audience, but the fandom has too many kids. People think age ratings are for sex/swearing but they're also about critical thinking skills, experience and other forms of maturity they just don't have. Pair this with my previous post about how education has moved away from lit analysis to more and more standardized testing... Of course a show with nuanced characters is going to have them simplified, bastardized and misunderstood when a huge chunk of the fandom doesn't have the tools to fully understand them in the first place.

Another thing: The show has a very Gen-X, small town vibe. It's written by (mostly het!male) Gen-Xers and Millennials, the characters white males from rural Colorado and a lot of fans don't take this into account. People treat this like a minor detail, but it's the entire foundation of the show.

same disclaimer as before: I'm not feeling great, a little unfocsed, I hope this is make sense.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

^^^^^^^

Dave hit the nail on the head. And part of the reason is that you're inundated with the whole spectrum of left wing views on a daily basis. You see it in the news, in TV shows, in movies, in video games, on message boards, in fan spaces, in schools, in social groups. Even in the places where it's not the dominant view, leftists will go out of their way to be loud and obnoxious about their beliefs so you can't help but hear them. You hear everything from the calm, rational positions (that are still mostly wrong, but usually only misguided) to the batshit insane depths the left sinks to on a daily basis.

Conversely, to find the conservative view you usually have to put some effort in. Mostly what gets delivered to you is the left wing strawman "conservative". The bigoted hick you see getting slapped down by the woman detective in that cop show you watch. The controlling, abusive religious father that shows up in every other drama. The rich white person who parrots a newspigs version of whatever position the left is against this month. The wildly inaccurate Trump stand in. These are the surface level parodies of conservatives that the left sees and accepts as fact because they're not going to talk to icky conservatives and be tainted by their badthought. So they can't accurately infiltrate conservative spaces. Where conservative can do it very easily because all we have to do is imitate that annoying barista with blue hair, or that college professor, or that news anchor that was on TV at the restaurant, or that classmate who dominates every class discussion with his mindless talking points.

Man I never heard that Far Cry 5 song before and it's a banger. It is funny when they write something that's not all that offensive like, the idea of the song is "If the world tries to destroy us we will fight back" the only sort of sus parts calling the outside world sinners and the "They're coming for the kids" but even that isn't crazy lol.

But now I'm wondering, I've heard more cases of attempts at right wing satire being embraced as "This is actually pretty good." where I've seen earnest left wing things be accused of being satire or mocking. Am I just cherry picking? or is there something of a pattern you think?

Is it related to the "left can't meme" phenomena?

There's stuff that flops on both sides of the aisle, the things that get picked up and adopted.

"Lets go Brandon" was a fun one, wasn't supposed to be a insult at the right wing, but watching the people that had been calling for trumps head melting down because it's disrespectful to say that about the president were funny.

Tune for the Star Spangled Banner was a English one we took and made our own.

>Is it related to the "left can't meme" phenomena?

you may be on to something with that, may be worth looking into at some point if I need to exercise my brain some

[hustlerose]

i do think it’s genuinely admirable how jerma has such a huge following on twitch and still manages to make it feel like a fun and accepting space. it looks like it’s pretty easy for communities that big to be dominated by an extremely vocal minority of bigots, with mostly everyone else just going along with it. once that sorta thing happens it kinda snowballs until it’s mostly bigots. the fact that he’s actively worked to stop that from happening is cool

[robotslenderman]

Ewww getting big privileged homophobe vibes from you. Blocking now.

Thank God.

I doubt you'll ever read this, but just in case hate-reading is your thing - I don't know why you bothered with anon. You're obviously not a follower because I talk about how queer I am here ALL THE TIME. I saw many queerphobes on that queer post, and even visited a few of their blogs. (Most of them were TERFs, except one - you, who claimed to be a trans dude. Maybe you are! Maybe you're not a TERF posing as a trans dude and you really are okay with being part of a movement absolutely dominated by TERFs!)

But there was only one that I left a comment on. You'd posted about how queer people are so horrible to call ourselves queer. Like the anthropomorphic personification of class and tact that I am, I trolled you by asking if my queer presence made you uncomfortable.

Clearly, it did. :)

So go ahead. Call me the first mean name that comes to your head, as if it bothered me what a random totally-not-anon thinks I am. I'm totally fine with queerphobes thinking my existence is homophobic, because the only way they'd understand otherwise is if I pretended I wasn't queer. My alleged homophobia is latched on to my identity as a queer person. The only way you would not accuse me of being homophobic is if I stopped calling myself queer.

So you use my very identity as a weapon against me. I am queer, and I am attached to not being a homophobe. You know that queer people do not want to be perceived as something they hate completely by anyone, strangers included, especially on a website where people harass first and listen later (if at all). So you hold us hostage - deny our queerness, and you'll drop your weapon. You'll drop the word "homophobic" and stop pointing it at me.

I'm not gonna cave to this.

Nor am I going to write an outraged essay about how I'm not homophobic. You know perfectly fucking well that not a SINGLE queer person is straight. You know perfectly fucking well that most queer people are same sex attracted or attracted to enbies. You know perfectly fucking well that queer people have accepted that part of us and aren't dealing with internalised homophobia or inflicting it on other people because we ACKNOWLEDGE our queerness and you can see this, otherwise you wouldn't be getting mad about it. In a homophobic society everyone has a degree of it, but by being what we are we have less of it than the great majority.

You know this perfectly well. Don't fucking pretend otherwise, I would have to believe that you are well and truly and sincerely STUPID to think for one second that you think I'm a straight person or a closeted gay person who's lashing out with malicious homophobia. Real homophobia, not "this person is part of a minority I am bigoted against, so I will claim they are inherently homophobic unless they get back in the closet or categorise themself in a way that allows me to fine tune my bigotry appropriately."

Because let's be real. Queer hasn't been used as a slur in decades and was reclaimed before I was even born. "Gay" was the slur of the time when I was growing up, but people like you never had a problem with that. Why? Because gay is clear cut and well defined. The problem people like you have with queers like me - the REAL problem, not the faux outraged you have made up about my label - is that queer means I have declined your insistence to more accurately categorise myself.

I mean, how else would you know specifically how to treat me? I could be bi and you might hate bi people, but if I'm a gay queer you don't want to aim the wrong type of bigotry at me by mistake - not because you care about gay people (you don't, because many gay people are also queer), but because you don't want to make yourself look silly by aiming the wrong type of bigotry at me. I could be queer because I'm an enby, and maybe you're truescum that would despise me for it, but you don't KNOW whether or not I'm an enby and that drives you mad! You don't want to risk alienating people who care about you by shitting on someone they might not agree is an acceptable target, so you target every queer and claim it's about a word when really, many queer people seek refugee under that term to hide from people like you, and you don't like that we can hide from you, so you try to strip our shelter away from us.

(And let's be honest. You probably don't even actually hate us. You're probably just afraid. Afraid of some identity you don't really understand because you've never taken the time to get to know us, or afraid that society will accept you less if we're "competing" for acceptance and so take some of the spotlight... I won't shit on you for fear, anon. We are all afraid of something. But I absolutely have a problem with how you're choosing to knowingly hurt people to cope with it. You called me "homophobe" to hurt me. There was no other way to possibly interpret the context of what you were saying. You meant to do this.)

So take away queer. Take away the shelter of queer. Force every queer person to divulge, upfront, who they are that makes them friends with queer. Force them out of the closet and pretend THAT'S not homophobic.

Send the gay queers back to the L and G of LGBT, let the TERFs flush out the trans people who are queer because they're trans* and shoo them away from LGBTQ spaces. Or maybe you really are trans, but you want to kick out straight trans people, or enbies, or pan people, or bi people, or ace people, or, one of the many populations that make up the true queer community.

* Not all trans people are queer, but many are BECAUSE they're trans. I would say "many are queer because they identify as queer" because that makes it sound like queerness isn't an inherent part of who we are and gives people like you ammo I have no interest in supplying you with. "Aha! So you CHOOSE to be a slur!" I just know you'd completely ignore everything I said to the contrary and say that.

Yes. The true queer community.

We've told you again and again that we're not calling you queer. We've told you again and again, if you're not queer, you're not part of the queer community. You're LGBT+, not queer. I'm not part of the LGBT+ community, I'm part of the queer community.

The queer community is not the true community of people who aren't straight and cis, that's not what I'm saying. We're not any more or less LGBT+ than you. I'm not invalidating the identities of people who aren't straight and/or cis, because they are who they are, and you don't need to be queer to be LGBT+. But we are the true queer community in that we are queer, and people who are LGBT+ but are not queer are not queer. Only queer people are queer.

("But people use queer community as an umbrella term to mean people who aren't queer, but are still LGBT+!" Buddy, if I have to deal with being called LGBT all the time even though it's not true, while having the people who use LGBT obviously mean me too because I'm not straight, then you can live with it too. That's mostly straights doing that, in which case you have no reason to get mad at US, or people who are are making something for a straight audience or a questioning audience, in which case they're making it accessible because not everyone knows the nuance of queer and LGBTALPHABETSOUP discourse. Or even - and I know this thought is incomprehensible to you, as the centre of the universe - it's actually referring to queer people and queer people only, not LGBT+ who aren't queer. Actually, I love that idea! Queer history is now history of queer people, no non-queer LGBT+ allowed :D)

I've never felt LGBT+ even when I thought I was one of the main four letters. But I've always felt queer, even as my understanding of my specific brand of queerness changed. Queer is an umbrella term that is opt in, that covers any and all LGBT+ people who know they are queer too, who know they're one of us, or who simply choose to call themselves queer for whatever fucking reason they want. Some of us are intrinsically queer, some choose to be queer because of the inclusiveness or relative opacity of the term, and you don't know which one a queer person is unless you have earned our trust enough for us to tell you.

And people like you fucking hate that.

So you know what?

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because the people who actually know more about me than the few sentences I've given you know that that's a joke, and their good opinion matters more to me than yours.

I'm totally fine with you calling me a homophobe because because it means I've won. I've gotten under your skin, just as your bigotry got right under mine. You're furious you can't categorise me. You're pissed off that I could be one of the LGBT+ people you actively dislike and want out of the LGBT+ community, but are finding a hell of a lot harder to flush out of the queer community because we all look the same at first glance and refuse to give you information you feel entitled to. Because it's easy to force people out of the closet in the LGBT+ community, but much fucking harder in a meritocracy like the queer community. To get into the LGBT+ community, you have to tell them which one you are. Queer? No questions asked, cause you already told us all we needed to know! Welcome home!

But let's say this is all a strawman.

That you really are some well meaning person who has nothing against the more obscure queer identities and that you really do just have a problem with the word. That you truly do think that queer people, the great majority of which experience same sex attraction, are... somehow... homophobic just for using the word despite their advocacy against homophobia and total acceptance of that aspect of themselves and others. That our fight for marriage equality and employment and housing protections and human rights is rendered COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY IRRELEVANT because we used a word that Boomers and even some of gen X hurled at each other because a guy was a little bit girly, or a girl refused to grow her hair long, or because men were scared that a man would treat them the way they treated women. (Because queer as an archaic slur, ultimately, comes from misogyny as much as homophobia.)

Let's say you really do mean well and really do know people who were called queers instead of fags, or you really did grow up hearing "that is so queer" to describe things people didn't like, or you really did have "queer" hurled at you by straight people as if there was something wrong with you for not being cis and straight.

(Notice something, there? You probably haven't actually experienced any of that, nor anyone you know. This wank about who I am as a queer person - it's always aimed at us. Never the straights that used it against us. Nobody uses the word queer except queer people any more, I am 99% certain that you don't know ANYBODY who has had it thrown at them AS a slur, so that means that the only people you can target on your crusade are... gender and sexual minorities. Not cis/straight people. Because they're not calling us queers and haven't in decades.

That means you are knowingly targeting minorities over this EXCLUSIVELY, I am completely fucking certain..

... but I'M the homophobe?)

In which case all I can say is: I hope that the well-meaningness that's made you put this hateful thing into my inbox, that's made you say such hateful things to a minority because of their identity (there's a word for treating people differently because they're a minority, especially hostile treatment..), will outshine the hatefulness of what you're saying and lead you to a better way to express your desire to protect people.

If you truly are coming from a misplaced belief that we're somehow deprecating ourselves by being queer, and not a desire to force us out of the closet or to run off any gender or sexual minority, then I apologise for my hostility, acknowledge that learning takes time (and patience that I am unable to give, for I am tired of bad actors pretending they're not and cannot do it), and wish you the best in learning to be inclusive and loving so we can count you one day, at least, as a friend of us queer folk. Maybe one day we'll even welcome you as one of us. I'd love to do that more than I'd like to deal with THIS crap. I can't imagine me going off on you will have helped at all, but from in my experience people who want to protect gender and sexual minorities protect them. They don't target them. That's why I am writing this post under the assumption that you wrote this because you have bad intentions towards me as a queer person, and not out of a well meaning desire to protect anyone you think I've somehow hurt by being me.

In which case? Get fucked.

[verecunda]

2021 book meme

Tagged by @xserpx. Thank you! :) The first half of this year has been mostly dominated by research-reading and rereading LOTR and The Hobbit, so I’m not sure my answers will be very varied, but here goes!

1. Best book you have read in 2021 so far?

LOTR aside, the best novel would definitely have to be Song for a Dark Queen, Rosemary Sutcliff’s novel about Boudicca. Utterly absorbing and harrowing, it doesn’t shrink from including the atrocities committed by both sides, though without ever being graphic. (That one line - “I will not tell, I will not remember, how they died, those women.” - is absolutely devastating in its very obscurity.) The real history is terrible by itself, and Sutcliff, as per usual, is able to imbue her fictional take with mythological motifs that turn it into a dark, awful (in all senses) tale of sacrilege and sovereignty. I’ve only ever read snippets of Manda Scott’s Boudica series, but from what I’ve seen, this children’s novel makes her New Agey woo-woo take on Boudicca look like a joke.

Also, despite the darkness of the overall story, it’s not grimdark drudgery. There are many moments of warmth and compassion and gentleness (admittedly rendered bittersweet), and she gives the Roman perspective on events through the device of letters written by the young Agricola to his mother, and his voice is very charming.

2. Best sequel you have read in 2021 so far?

Does LOTR count? 😂 

3. A new release you want to check out?

I’ve seen quite a few things that seem relevant to my interests. I really like the look of Mexican Gothic, by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. And from various Waterstones emails I’ve seen The Wolf Den by Elodie Harper, and Rumaysa by Radiya Hafiza.

4. Most anticipated book release of the second half of the year?

Not actually for myself, but Silverlight, the posthumous Le Carré which is being published in October, couldn’t come along at a better time, since my dad recently became a Le Carré nut. So guess what he’s getting for Christmas! ;)

5. Biggest disappointment?

Probably Persona Non Grata (aka Ruso and the Root of All Evil) by Ruth Downie. This one’s been sitting on my shelf for years, so I decided to reread the first two in the series to refresh myself (which I enjoyed again), and then that. Downie has a really nice touch with humour, but the mystery plot was so obvious it hardly seemed worth the bother, but most of all I came to the realisation that I really Do Not Ship the central couple. Now, if you come here often, you’ll surely be aware that Nice Dude Roman Soldier/Strong-Willed Brigantian Slave is a dynamic that is dear to my heart, but tensions aside, their relationship is very short on any kind of tenderness, emotional intimacy, or even the sense of the two of them united in their efforts to solve the mystery. (Funnily enough, it was a similar issue that made me decide to bail on the Falco series just three or four books in.)

6. Biggest surprise?

I don’t think there have been any particularly?

7. Favourite new author (either new to you or debut)?

Hm. The only new-to-me authors I think I’ve read so far have been Amyas Northcote (In Ghostly Company) and Keith Roberts (The Boat of Fate), but since I wasn’t exactly wowed by either of those... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8. Favourite new fictional crush?

Don’t think I have any new ones, but certainly reading LOTR just reinforced my undying love for Faramir. *sigh*

9. Newest favourite character?

Probably Facilis from Island of Ghosts, by Gillian Bradshaw. He starts off as (apparently) your typical horrible, bigoted centurion character, but as the story goes on, he reveals hidden depths. His hatred of the Sarmatians turns out to stem from the fact that his son was killed by a Sarmatian warrior - while he was unarmed, no less (like Sutcliff, Bradshaw is very good at exploring the outrages of Roman imperialism, while pointing out that all sides in war are capable of atrocities) - and he and the Sarmatian protagonist Ariantes end up becoming friends as they work together to prevent a war. He also helps a slave girl escape from her abusive mistress and later adopts her as his daughter. And he has even greater depths, but they’re rather more spoilery...)

I just love characters like this: ones that demonstrate the common humanity, even between enemies; and outwardly horrible characters who turn out to have unexpectedly compassionate sides.

10. A book that made you cry?

LOTR again, gosh, so many times. Can’t remember exactly, but I’m pretty sure I cried at Song For a Dark Queen as well.

11. A book that made you happy?

LOTR and The Hobbit are unending sources of joy. Island of Ghosts was also a very positive read, a story essentially about finding healing and peace after loss and trauma.

12. Most beautiful book you have bought or received this year?

Is that beautiful as in content, or beautiful as in the object itself? Going by the latter, I’ve actually been trying to avoid buying too many new books, but I’ve just got myself new copies of The Silmarillion and Unfinished Tales, after failing to find my old copies, and they look rather swanky.

13. What book do you need to read by the end of the year?

Don’t think there are any I need to read, but there’s plenty I want to read. I’m still very much on a Middle-earth kick, so I’d like to read The Silmarillion in full at last. I started Rosemary Sutcliff’s autobiography Blue Remembered Hills back in *gulp* December, so I should probably finish that! I’ve also got quite a lot of books I want to go through for novel research.

Apart from that, I’m trying to clear space on my bookshelves (because I actually have none left), so there’s quite a lot of books, mostly cosy mysteries and random history books, things I know I’ll probably only read once. I want to get a fair few of them read, so I can just cart them straight down to the shop when I go back.

I tag: @pythionice, @bryndeavour, @themalhambird, @tatzelwyrm, @theresonlyzuul, and anyone else who feels like it!

[prowrestlingindustrialcomplex]

TBH, I wasn’t a fan of Alexa, but over the years, and from reading past interviews with her (not to mention her potbellied pig baby had an IG), she started to grow on me. She proved to me that she could hold her own in a sport that is male-dominated, was male-dominated

This “podcaster” who compared Alexa’s career to her sex life should be banned and blacklisted permanently. He isn’t a wrestling fan, but a misogynist creepy troll. Unfortunately, this individual (which I will not name because doing so will give him power to be the asshole that he is) makes up most of the IWC, who are toxic and bigoted (and are mostly white cishet men).

Let this be a lesson to those who wish to do a podcast on wrestling. If you’re going to do a podcast on professional wrestling, make sure that women’s wrestling stays as your number one topic. Hold space and lift up the names of the women who paved the way to make women’s wrestling the forefront of professional wrestling and hold space for those who will do so after. Hold space for queer and trans wrestlers and push for them to be included, especially now with Sonya Deville, Nyla Rose, Candy Lee, etc at the forefront. If you’re going to do a podcast on wrestling, know what the fuck you’re talking about without coming off as a pos incel.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

DoA megapost (22 confessions)

Mod: So https://true-bjd-confessions.tumblr.com/post/189300138511/mod-due-to-excessive-offtopic-arguing-in-the

All you guys’ pending DoA confessions presented in no specific order, before we move into the hold, as announced above.

To be clear: I think this is a feature DoA should have yesterday. It’s completely inappropriate to force people to use deadnames and names which are related to traumatic life experiences, or be banned. 

However, *weary sigh, gesturing at the multiple 70+ reply confessions on this topic* people told me they were finding the rapidly escalating discussion to be upsetting and offputting, and that’s not my goal for this blog. ❤️

1.

I am exceptionally weary of all the DoA hate over the person who got banned over making a new account after not being allowed to change their user name. DoA isn’t the only doll forum out there. If you don’t like their rules, don’t join. I for one find their rules about on- and off-topic dolls to be unfair and arbitrary as hell, but in the end it comes down to their house, their rules. Move on.

~Anonymous

2.

Us: Sure would be nice to maybe be able to change your name on DOA.

Some of y’all: Are you asking for anarchy?? If we allow this, what’s next?? A reasonable review of outdated rules??? The rules are there for a reason!!1! The reason may be antiqued because technology has updated and changed since then, meaning there are better solutions available, but it’s still a reason so we DEFINITELY should NEVER change!! Change is too scary for me. :( You’re bullies who want to be special :((( Stop that :(

~Anonymous

3.

I love seeing people get so offended at anon saying “bigots”. How do you know it was about you ? Guilty conscience? DOA could allow name changes if they really wanted to. There are other hobbies where they forbid certain people from entering forums while still allowing name changes. It’s not hard if you really care.      

~Anonymous      

4.

Honestly the way people fall all over themselves to defend DoA against any sort of criticism (regardless of how you personally feel about the validity of said criticism, reader) makes me glad I never got into the community aspect of this hobby. It's just... stressful.          

~Anonymous  

5.

The transphobia in the comments on this blog in particular are so gross. Being a bigot makes your dolls instantly hideous. And no, I’m not saying everyone who is defending DOAs decision is transphobic. I’m talking about the one who thinks trans people transitioning is wrong and their friends. You’re gross and so are your dolls.

~Anonymous  

6.

scammers can & will get around DOA's no name change policy, it's really not that safe. also, DOA isn't the only website which allows the sale of high-value items.

~Anonymous  

7.

First it's "if you want name changes coded in DoA, offer to do it yourself!", then it's "why tf would DoA accept some rando to help code their site?" make up your goddamn mind, your argument is falling apart. 

Also when did this issue become "DoA vs trans people"? Like, I like DoA yet I also recognize it should be more accessible and updated for the modern userbase. I want it to become as good as it can be because I like the community and would hate to see it die out like so many other forum sites do. Yes, it has flaws- and believe me, the folks who get extremely upset about the idea of admitting that embarrass me- but I liked the format since I was new to the hobby. I just wish it was more inclusive!    

~Anonymous    

8.     

girlisav3rb: "this isn't about exclusion or leaving anyone out". Also girlisav3rb: "I'm just kicking your punk ass off [obvious metaphor for DoA]" yyyyiiiiikkkees      

~Anonymous    

9. 

The DOA username debate is really starting to feel like 4 people's personal beefs against each other. It isn't really about dolls and I wish it wasn't dominating all the confessions here. I don't really care about watching pomoaples, pupkinspce, aigisthewlve and tellmeifthursday make fools of themselves daily.        

~Anonymous      

10.

Say it louder for the people in the back: IF YOU INSIST ON NAME CHANGES FOR DOA, THEN VOLUNTEER YOUR CODING EXPERTISE. Don't know how to code and are just squawking about something you can't directly contribute towards? Then shut up or offer up money so the mods can hire a computer programmer to make the changes you're DEMANDING from a FREE service.        

~Anonymous

11.

God it's so painfully obvious to see how many of the people defending DoA on the grounds that name changes would destroy the integrity of the website have never ever worked on or even been part of a forum or really any website of any kind in their lives. Seriously arguing that "the database" would break if you changed a name like?? No??? Have you ever seen a server backend before? You can automate this shit, you know, keep a log of former names, just... it's not some big huge challenge??? 

~Anonymous 

12.           

I don't have a horse in the trans name change race but calling DoA one of the friendlies communities around is abject bullshit lmao. There's not a more elitist, paranoid, abusive community this side of comic books -- but that kind of goes for this hobby as a whole, let's be honest.           

~Anonymous     

13. 

THE RULES ARE IMPORTANT WE CAN't cHANGE THE RULES IT WILL LEAD TO CHAOS IF WE CHANGE ONE RULE WHERE WILL IT END THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! In my town it used to be THE RULES that POC have to go to separate schools and use separate bathrooms, but sure, the rules are the most important thing, not the people. And before anyone says cOmPaRiNg DoLlS tO rAciSm, 1) shitting on trans people IS a form of prejudice you smoothbrains, and 2) my ass is POC and I call it like I see it. Check yourselves.            

~Anonymous   

14.   

I personally think DOA should just.. go away? It’s been around for years, most people use it as reference rather than a community anymore. Everything is on FaceBook and Instagram now, DOA is pretty much just a glorified Dolly Dictionary at this point. Besides, if they aren’t going to change an Incredibly simple, easy thing to change just to accommodate transitioning people, it’s not the best place to be.

~Anonymous  

15.

I mean about the whole rules is rules is rules thing about doa: the thing is, some rules are there for a reason and obviously do need to be respected whether you agree with them or not, like don’t block fire exits, murder is bad, etc. but some rules eventually become outdated and need to be changed to keep up with society, and that doesn’t make the people pointing out that they need to be changed evil or entitled or spoiled. Imagine if we all still had to drive 10 mph everywhere because when someone pointed out that car technology had improved since 1915 and the speed limit should be increased accordingly everyone had just shouted them down with “BUT TEH RUUULLLEESS!!!” You’d be pretty interested in getting some of this “special treatment” yourself so you could get to work on time, huh?

~Anonymous  

16.

Honestly the easiest solution would be let people change their names only once and have it trackable.. as a trans dude its NOT that deep.     

~Anonymous        

17.

I notice that the unrelenting attacks on DoA are now even using the same phraseology along with the name-calling and implications of sinister motives. These are textbook bullying tactics. Next is the boycott, except that most of these people already say they don’t use the forum because they are just too “21st Century” for it.

Luckily this is just a confession board and no matter how many folks you manage to rile up here, it’s not going to affect DoA. Now, this is why I love DoA–you can’t go on their own site and spew this nonsense. They have Rules. They are Strict. They attempt to avoid drama, especially off-topic drama, and they don’t allow meanness, vulgarity or obscenity. If you’re looking for a pleasant, safe space, it’s your best bet.

~Anonymous

18.

Easy to lay bigotry, laziness, stupidity and worse on DoA mods for not just accepting tales of trauma and pasts to erase.  But the internet has always been full of lies by people trying to get their own way or escape consequences. Not just pro scammers. People who cry things like illness, trauma, disaster, family or pet problems over and over to get sympathy for demands or as all-purpose excuses. Recast ownership lies. People who never got a no before, and don't like being turned down no-how.

~Anonymous

19.

I just realized that no one understands the people saying DOA can allow name changes are the people who have actually modded forums before, most forums unless they’re running a totally outdated system use user id numbers that are linked to display names, which can be changed, and you can write a simple string of simple-baby-code to show old display names on a profile, to explain it in simple terms.   

~Anonymous                    

20.

Honestly I think that the anti-name change people are mostly just shilling for DoA because they can't believe that their precious forum with its volunteer mods could be anything but flawless. Or something like that, given how indignantly these people have *always* reacted to confessions criticizing DoA, even before the trans controversy was a thing. There have definitely been some obvious transphobes as well though, whose bile is really more suited to conservative FB pages or something. Go away!          

~Anonymous

21.   

the DOA mods can obviously change people's usernames because it's 2019 and basically every other site in existence can do it. they might have to change the site slightly to accomplish this. maybe there are reasons for them to choose not to do that, but let's stop pretending it's some technological impossibility.

~Anonymous

22.

How about this: Implement a system on DoA that indentifies users by a unique code and allow users to have a changeable display name. Changing the display name could become a paid feature to pay for the technical changes. Think of a system like discord has. It's a win-win situation. Thoughts?            

~Anonymous

[beastars-takes]

What is Beastars about?

Sorry, I can’t do italics in the header.

What is Beastars about?

I don’t want to make a lot of long posts, but I want to lay out some thoughts up front that I can refer back to and revisit later (and maybe laugh about how wrong I was).

I think there’s a problem talking abt social messaging in “furry” media because fan spaces are dominated by furry fandom lifers, a lot of whom are invested in the media as a wish-fulfillment fantasy of animal people first, and a piece of art & storytelling second. If the work starts to challenge their social & political views then that disrupts the wish-fulfillment fantasy and they don’t like that. Hence the absolutely wild number of people I remember insisting that Zootopia “wasn’t political” despite that movie being one of the most overtly political pieces of kids’ entertainment I’ve ever seen (supported by plenty of comments from the filmmakers too, for whatever that’s worth).

That said, this isn’t a social justice blog--I’m not interested in talking about whether the comic’s viewpoints are “correct” so much as how they’re expressed.

So...

1. Desire

I do think these two posts from Itagaki offer some clue--

ONE

TWO

I don’t want to pick them apart because I’ve only read poor translations, but they seem incredibly candid and a couple things come through. One, that she’s uncomfortable with sexuality and/or with men. I’ve seen people suggest she’s describing asexuality. It seems more nuanced than that to me, but the language barrier makes it hard for me to say w/ any confidence. So, maybe? Two, she seems to be mystifying men quite a lot here--she doesn’t understand men in general, or male sexual desire.

It’s nothing new to talk about how Beastars conflates predation with sexuality, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that so many of the carnivores are male and so many of the herbivores are female, especially from an author who seems to believe so strongly in fundamental differences between men and women. To say it’s all a metaphor for gender would be reductive and stupid (and there are obvious exceptions to point to) but a lot of the author’s ideas about gender are clearly coming through in interesting ways.

I hesitate to go any further because I’m really unfamiliar with the Japanese cultural context that this all exists in. Obviously I have my own thoughts on it and how it relates to my own views, but I can’t say how ordinary or idiosyncratic Itagaki’s takes are in her world.

2. “Diversity”

I have seen one or two posts from the author (that I can’t manage to dig up) suggesting the comic is about “diversity.” A pretty broad idea, but there it is.

In general, the messaging seems pretty straightforward. Legosi becomes (mostly) better and more self-actualized thru his interactions with herbivores. The same goes for Louis and carnivores; despite the moral ambiguity of his time with the Shishigumi, he comes out the other end a dramatically better person, and we see plenty to suggest his presence in the black market was a genuine good. The re-segregation of the school seems pretty immediately disastrous as the animals embrace their worst impulses. Yafya seems to become monstrously bigoted without the moderating presence of Gosha. Bill benefits from his time with Els and other herbivores, etc etc etc. A strong case for cosmopolitanism.

The hybrid species narrative...complicates things. Legosi’s mother kills herself, and more recently we have both Yafya and the civet cat indicating that hybrid animals are usually as messed up as Melon.

I have a hard time imagining the takeaway here is meant to be “diversity is good, miscegnation is bad.” Yafya and Kopi Luwak haven’t engendered a lot of trust thus far. One of my biggest question marks is what we’re supposed to make of Gosha. Was he wrong to quit his partnership with Yafya and start a family? I think you could make a case either way. The answer will determine what kind of ending Legosi gets, presumably.

The comic’s not over yet. As Film Crit Hulk said, the ending is the conceit. A lot of questions have been raised. I don’t know if it’ll be clear what all of the answers are until it’s over and we see the whole shape of the story.

In any case, these are kind of my starting assumptions. I’ll probably come back to these re-reading through the comic, I just wanted to get them all on paper up front.

[flying-elliska]

You said it feels cool to have a specific identity but isn't that exactly why we are seen as the special snowflake generation? Not to mention wasn't the whole point to be free from stereotypes and dress however we want, love whoever we want etc? And yet there's now so many identities, labels, flags which create an implicit pressure to define yourself so you'll be included. Idk I think your french friends are right,it still feels like we're pushing people into boxes; they're just woke boxes now.

Hey anon ! Thank you for this very interesting question. I hope you’re ok with getting a mini-essay as a response (that’s kind of my brand now lmao)

So first of all, if you don’t feel like you personally need labels, you are totally valid. And so are my friends. I think you have to find out what you’re most comfortable with. It’s true that labels can be used to exclude, esp in the LGBTQ+ communities. I think we focus our activism a little bit too much on words and online stuff and media representation nowadays, as opposed to practical political action, and that’s an issue. And we focus too much on people not having the correct, latest approved terminology and labels as a way to show you’re a good person, as opposed to what people are actually doing and their lived experiences, and who is authorized to use what label and those debates often just exasperate me to the highest point. It’s like, don’t you have anything better to do ? It becomes very clique-ish, school courtyard drama at times. There should always be a place for questioning, fluidity, no labels, a place for discovery and uncertainty, shifting identifications, multiple labels at once, words changing, and questioning what place they take in our lives.

But, on the whole, I still like my labels, and I’m going to try and explain why. 

Labels are words right ? They have the benefits and drawbacks of words. A rose under any other name would still smell as sweet, of course. But we are a fundamentally social species, and words are a way to create bridges between people, between our experiences. It signals that you are not alone ; it’s a way to make visible things that are usually invalidated, ostracized or just plain erased by the mainstream and the status quo. The development of a vocabulary for the queer community was what made their political struggle and pride possible ; before it was “the love that dare not speak it name”, all euphemisms and shame. It honors, too, the struggle of those who came before us ; it places us in the continuity of a history ; it says we have been here before, it gives us memory and context. Of course words are going to betray us, because they can never retranscribe the fullness, complexity and confusion of lived experience. But they’re a conversation starter ; they bring people together ; they create spaces of freedom. 

I’m going to give you a personal example : a few years ago I fell in love with a girl for the first time ; after that I seriously started thinking of myself as bisexual. There had always been a thing there but because I had been mostly attracted to boys before, I’d swept it under the rug. But finding the ‘bisexual’ label made me realize - no this is a thing, this is valid, and it made me look back at all those instances in the past of having weirdly intense feelings for some of my girl friends, of being obsessed with certain actresses, etc…that back then I didn’t understand, I just thought I was weird…and I always thought that bisexuality was something that something Hollywood starlets did for attention. But finding a community behind that word that was seeking to reclaim it from the stereotypes and being proud about what it meant, it was so healing.

 After that I immersed myself more in my local LGBTQ+ community ; and in particular I volunteered for the European Bisexual Convention - that one in particular was incredible because it felt so…liberating. In the general LGBTQ community, people expect you to be gay until you say otherwise. In the student association I was in, it was cool, but it was also…very normative in a way. Lots of stereotypes about how we were expected to be, what we were expected to like, behave like. So for Eurobicon, to have all of that lifted, it was amazing. And it was also so much more inclusive - of disabled, neuroatypical, transgender ppl, different body types and ethnicities, like you could feel that they had made an effort. I also met several nonbinary ppl for the first time of my life and I was like…oh wow there’s something here that feels very important and real. We shared experiences that we did not have a space before, that were specifically bisexual and that tend to go unheard in general queer spaces because they’re not part of the dominant narrative : the daily hesitations, the lack of visibility, the much higher rates of staying closeted, feeling like you are not really part of the community, but also the really cool aspects too - there was this incredible energy of fluidity too of thinking, here is a space where everyone can potentially be into everyone, there aren’t as many barriers as we usually have to think about. And there was this one party and we were all dancing and flirting in a very sweet kind of way, people of different ages and body types, gender presentations and configurations I hadn’t thought about before, a girl in a wheelchair swirling around and being treated like a queen, guys in corsets and cool butches and just some beautiful people - and there was this euphoria in the room, of recognition and kinship, and it felt so…normal, not freakish like I had been led to believe it would be. Nobody was putting on airs or trying hard or whatever, they were just being themselves. And I was like, wow, this is something I need more of in my life. And this freedom was made possible by people coming together under a certain label, recognizing that certain people have specific needs and experiences. Especially after growing up in environments that never tell you that those things are possible, finding the right label can be like coming home. 

I have other labels for myself I am less public about because I don’t want to deal with the social aspect of it, or I’m like this is none of anybody’s business, or I want to give myself the time to figure it out on my own. But they’re tools for self-knowledge, they allow me to think about things, to conceptualize, to research (and lol I’m a nerd so…). And to be less hard on myself sometimes, and to stand up for myself in a ‘I know who I am and it’s okay’ kind of way. Because society tends to pathologize, ostracize or demonize the things it doesn’t understand, and labels can protect you against that. 

In an ideal society maybe we wouldn’t need labels - to have a right to exist or survive, and that’s definitely a goal, but I think we would still make some, because that’s who we are as a species, we need to classify certain things in order to think about them. The problem is when those boxes become cages instead of like, beautiful pots to grow seeds in, like art or poetry. And of course deconstructing the boxes we don’t want remain important. But I don’t think we can ever be box-less, it just to me doesn’t compute. 

I just wanna come back to the ‘special snowflake generation’ thing. If you don’t want labels, like I said, that’s fine. But I hate hate hate that term, and I don’t want to define myself in reaction to it. To me it’s used by a) bigots who just hate the fact that natural human diversity is becoming more recognized and discussed, and want to put us back in the artificial, stifling boxes that dynamics of power, patriarchy and imperialism have made us believe were normal when they really weren’t. And b) older people who are uncomfortable with increased levels of emotional intelligence and lability among younger generations. It’s a thing I’ve noticed over and over again ; people used to talk so much less. When they had feelings in general, or experiences out of the norm, they were taught that stuffing them down and sitting on them and repressing the shit out of them, was the noble/normal/grown up thing to do. So they did and they suffered in silence. And maybe some of them now feel bitter, or at least bewildered, by younger generations refusing to do so and inventing and or reclaiming all those new ways of talking about their experiences out in the open. And so they’re like ‘it’s too much ! you’re spoiled !’ because they want to believe that their sacrifices had a point. They don’t want to realize they could have done things differently all along. It’s very sad. But I don’t think it should be a barrier to us using them like…just as we shouldn’t refrain from using washing machines because our grandmothers suffered to wash everything in a bucket…There’s nothing entitled about wanting a better life than previous generations… And to me, having more words and more space to express myself will never be a bad thing.