#grizzly testing

[heedra]

Things NOBODY told me about being an adult that I wish they had:

When you get to the top of the river you're going to want to find a shallow stretch of riverbed with relatively calm water and sediment pieces that are gravel sized, not cobble, sand or mud. This is critical; test it with your nose if you're not sure! when you have this, you're going to want to flip on your side and slap the gravel as hard as you can with your tail to dislodge it; you're gonna want to alternate between digging the spot out and doing some more slapping until you've got a nice little cone shaped depression for the eggs.

grizzly bear

[toji-bunny-girl]

Toji with a puppy girl👀

Nah cuz puppy!reader…x wolf!toji‼️⁉️ GOODBYE YALL🫡

Alright imagine wolf cop!Toji and puppy!reader who accidentally got caught speeding and acting all fidgety and nervous when he made her roll her window down. Wolf cop!Toji’s leaning against your car door, merely asking for your driver’s license and you’re already shaking in your seat.

The first thing you did was trying to explain why you were speeding just a little, to buy some heat suppressants and Toji could see that you weren’t lying about that. Puppy girl is all sweaty, your eyes are droopy with indecipherable lust and your aromal pheromones were begging him to breed you. He is a servant of the law, supposedly having to be professional on his job, but fuck did he want to help you with your heat.

He doesn’t know the extent of his self-control and he has no interest in testing it today—so he promptly sends puppy off with a warning, he’d better not catch you speeding again.

The next time he saw puppy was a few seasons later—when he was passing by an alley on the way home from dinner with the chief. There was a little yelp of desperation, and what seemed to be someone calling for help. He could smell the scent fraught and despair, along with a familiar whiff of feminine pheromones.

Stalking into the tenebrous alleyway, he found you cowering all scared over the corner, ears back and tail between your legs as a hooded male prowled closer to you. 

Without much thinking, Toji hauled the male away from you, smashing his frame against the wall before locking his hands behind his back. 

The man tried to fight back but it was all simply in futile. He could try all he want but Toji would still have him subjugated under his strength. Ripping the hoodie off of him, and as his features were described; it was the serial rapist around your area. 

“Oi!” he called for your attention, sobbing as you shut your thighs tight together. “Get my phone outta my pocket.”

You did as you’re told, dialling the number he chanted aloud and soon the cops were there to bring the male under custody. 

“Thank you for saving me, sir,” you spoke to the intimidatingly huge wolf. And Toji returned with a terse ‘welcome’, noting the crimson blush you wore underneath your cheeks and your strong intoxicating scent; it made his head heavy and the world seemed to whirled in his sight. 

“Yer’ alright?” his voice was comfortingly deep, the grizzly pitch scratching the nerves in your ears. You’re practically sweating, and acting like how you were the first time he saw you. “Why are you out here alone this late?”

“I was going to get some heat suppressants and my car was getting fixed. So I had to walk…” you embarrassingly cried. Fuck, he swore in his head, not again. The officers were busy with the rapist bastard and letting you continue your walk alone seemed unsafe. So, he’d better send you back as quickly as possible and get on his merry way home. 

Or so he thought. 

“Please, please, please…!” you tearily whined, rubbing yourself against his knee, nose buried deep in his neck, breathing in his manly essence. Toji was beating back a groan, your scent punching his nostrils and messing up his heartbeat. He was supposed to drive you home, and somehow you’re straddled on top of him just as he has reached your home.

“Hey—”

“It hurts s’much, sir!” you’ve balled his shirt into your fist, staring at him with those wet puppy eyes. It’s your hormones against his instincts, and he has to put himself under control no matter what. “The toys are no use, I can’t do it anymore!”

“Where’s ya suppressant?” Toji sighed as he rummaged through your bag, his thigh began to dampen and the bulge in his pants pumped against the restraints of his brief as it grew in size. You didn’t manage to buy it, did you?

“Please, save me,” your voice broke as you cried, desperation oozing out of your eyes along with your tears. He could feel your pulse through his pants and your drenched panty, and fuck were you pushing him towards the edge of his limits. “It’s just this once, please…!”

Your words were the breaking point that wrenched the very last of his self-control out of his wavering self. But rules are still rules, and he worked quickly to call his partner, instructing him to help log out of his shift system for him. You were practically all over him when the phone call ended, your little teeth nipping and licking over his saliva-coated neck.

“Bad girl,” Toji clicked his tongue, his voice was low, almost predatory with a growl. You let out a yelp when he grabbed your face, forcing your head to the side as to expose the supple skin of your neck. It wasn’t fair for you to mark him without expecting him to imprint on you. Especially when you’d let out your adorable gasps as he sunk his sharp teeth into your flesh, your skin threatening to break and blood ready to flow under the subjugation of his canines.

He would only learn more of the sound you’d make when he pressed a finger against your pulsing clit through your embarrassingly wet panty, teasing and rolling your bud until your body shook and voice begged him to touch you more.

You were all he could smell and hear, his mind and body nearly drunk off of your pheromones that bubbled into the sizzling hot air. And it took the rest of a pathetic amount of restrain left in him not to eat you whole. He would have to compromise on the honey that seemed to coat your skin, sucking and biting the sweetness off of you.

Your gasps turned to whines when he stuffed a finger into your heat, a single digit of his large enough to please your squeezing cunt. But he expected you to take more than that, stretching out your slick-dripped pussy with two of his thick fingers. Your cavern squelched as he slipped them in and out of you, your head growing heavy and your eyesight turning hazy.

“Feel so—nnh, good…!” you slurred through the pleasure that shook your nerves. Your movements did nothing but agitated the bulge in his trousers, and Toji hated being edged of all things. So he had your wrists bounded by his cuffs, your arms raised above his head and your motions then restricted to your hips as you buckled them from the tingles in your core.

Toji smirked through one of the bite he was marking on your chest when he pumped his digits in and out of your sloppy cunt faster, his thumb reaching your clit and stimulating both of them at the same time. You burst into heightened cries as you felt your orgasm coming close, your hips rolling with his thick fingers as they curled over the gummy part of your wall, your eyes rolling to the back of head as pressure started building in your core.

“Mmnh—I’m cummin’, I’m cummin’!” you repeated into a chant, your features twisting to his enjoyment as he watched you come undone from his mere fingers.

From the look of it, Toji knew you haven’t had enough. You were at the height of your heat, any coherence long melted into your innate desires to mate, for hours at least. You tried to free yourself from the cuff he’d locked you in, your eyes raking over his body down to the pumping size in his pants, a spot of pre-cum damp from your doings.

“Please, sir…” you whined through your adorable doe eyes, your craving for his cock to fill your cunt catching up to your limit. “Please fuck me.”

“That’s what I wanna hear,” Toji smirked, nipping the end of your sensitive ear, causing you to shudder from his touch. He loved the fact that he doesn’t have to ask for you to beg for him, his animalistic ego stroked by your adorable neediness.

Your eyes nearly popped out when you watched him unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down to release his fat cock, veiny and pulsing and ready to pump you full. You were almost too eager to fit him inside of you, your hips sinking down a little too quickly. But Toji was quicker to grab you before you hurt yourself. You were already well prepared, your body releasing all the hormones necessary but still, you were built a little too small for him.

“Someone’s impatient,” Toji chuckled as you wriggled in his hold. Just as he thought, your lips paused open when he slowly sank you halfway down his length, his thick cock pushing against the wall of your tummy, a little bump from the shape of his bulging from the inside of your stomach.

The both of you swore underneath your breaths, and you threw your head back when Toji started shifting into your hips. You were so damn tight and warm and wet that his carnal need to breed hit him like a fucking truck.

His jaw clenched as he forced his whole length into your pulsing hole, your eyebrows furrowed and teeth sunk into your bottom lip from how full you felt. Your breaths left your mouth as dragged moans when Toji began to draw his hips out and into your weeping cunt, slow but deep.

His thumb drew circles upon your hardened clit once again, attempting to ease your clenching hole but it did nothing but tightened your grip around his girth. “You gotta relax, pup,” he groaned into the sultry air, and you cried as you shook your head.

“M’ can’t! Please!” you mewled, rolling your hips for the least bit of friction, itching to ease the tingle between your thighs.

“Fuck,” Toji growled as tears of frustration began forming in your eyes. You weren’t the only one starved for sex, he’s been holding on for so long just not to hurt you. But you’re an eager one, can’t even wait for his cock to start moving and you’re sniffling your tears aback. “You better not regret this,” he clicked his tongue before drawing his hips back, slamming them up into your weeping cunt.

The car shook from the force and a scream lodge itself in your throat, your pussy ached with his cock dragging against your walls, and a pulsing warmth began to swarm all over your belly. “Haah—it’s s’good!” you mumbled unsteadily, your back arching into him and eyes turning crossed.

“I need you to be, shit—clearer, sweet.”

“Your cock f-feel s’good, sir!” you could feel the way Toji twitched inside of you, his pace relentless and rough. It doesn’t take long for you to feel the crack of the pressure in your core, and your released gushed all over his lap and car seat, the scent of your essence making his head heavy.

He doesn’t stop even when your lips spewed nothing but rambles, your drool slipping down your chin and onto your marked chest. Instead, he began to fuck himself into you, harder and faster. Your thighs shook for the way his cock spurred up your insides, it was as if he was trying to bring you apart then and there.

Toji bellowed out a low growl as his nails sank into the flesh on your hips, using your body like a fleshlight and messing up your sore cunt. Your slick cavern hugged his cock tight as he twitched, the nerves on his tip dancing upon the fire of pleasure before you feel a rope of his velvety semen paint your insides white, a wave of orgasm crushing down over you soon after.

You’re too drunk and dumb off his cock to stop him, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and tongue idly lolling out. Toji had spent too much of his time enveloped in your mating pheromones, his hormones raging all over his body, twisting the levels until he was down to nothing but a hulking body of a male intending to impregnate.

Unbeknownst to you, it would take days for a wolf’s rut to wear off.

[zepskies]

HEADCANON: Doctor's Appointment

HC: How would Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw react when you try to take him to the doctor?

Pairings: Dean x Reader || Beau x Reader || Soldier Boy x Reader || Russell x Reader

AN: This one is a request from my lovely friend @spnbabe67 over on Patreon! 💜

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, literal man children, medical stuff, angst, mentions of PTSD, hints of spice, fluffff

Dean Winchester

"I'm fine."

Ah yes, the same two growly words you've heard for an hour already.

"You're not fine," you testily reply. "You're not even 'Winchester fine.' You wanna know how I know? I'm driving the damn car right now!"

Dean shoots you a warning look.

One, you can tell he wants to say watch it on how you talk about his Baby.

Two, he doesn't want to admit that you're right.

He shifts in his seat with his arms crossed, trying to cover up a wince. It's the only tell that he's uncomfortable, even in pain, other than the fact that you've managed to hijack his car and take him to this damn doctor's appointment.

Dean can count on one hand the number of times he's been in a doctor's office for a genuine ailment, and not just trying to fish for information while impersonating some form of law enforcement.

That's because he's more of a "pour some whiskey on it," patch it up, and forget about it kinda guy.

And if we're talking about hospital stays, then that's usually a "one step away from death's door" kind of visit.

But when you first noticed something was off with Dean (confirming with Sam on the side of your suspicions), you did your damnedest to convince the man that he should see a doctor.

You even make the appointment for him as convenient as possible, around midday, so he doesn't have the excuse of it being too early to disturb his morning, or too late to mess up his afternoon.

Dean is a grumbly grizzly bear who only rolls his eyes in the waiting room when you offer him the clipboard to fill out his medical history.

"This is stupid," he says. "It’s probably just gonna clear up in a week or so anyway."

"You don't know that," you say. And you heave a sigh. Sometimes this man requires every last ounce of your ever-thinning patience.

You reclaim the clipboard and do this part for him too, filling out his fake-ass insurance information with his fake-ass name.

You detail his history and current symptoms to the best of your ability, and you make sure to jot down certain visits to free clinics in his past that he'd probably gloss over.

When the nurse opens the door and calls him back to see the doctor, Dean still glances over at you, mostly annoyed. But underneath, you sense his hesitation.

You slip your hand into his and get up with him. You grace a kiss over his knuckles — a moment of solidarity — and you go with him to one of the back rooms.

You later have to bite your lip against the vindicated urge to say I told you so.

The doctor informs Dean that he likely has a kidney stone.

If possible, Dean is even more sour the whole car ride home. He's convinced all the vegetables you've been trying to get him to eat are the culprit.

"This is what I get for eating fucking rabbit food," he grumbles. He levies a finger at you. "See? I told you. Nothing good comes of it."

"Right," you snort. "Zucchini is what's got you're, uh, pipe all blocked up."

But seeing the disgruntled look on his face, you remember just how much pain he's been trying to cover up for the past week. How many times you've found him hunched in the bathroom, dreading a piss.

You reach over and try to soothe him, gently stroking his thigh.

"It's okay, baby. We'll get the official test results soon. In the meantime, just keep drinking lots of water and get some actual rest."

"Whatever," he mutters.

But underneath the embarrassment, the shit, I'm getting old bit cropping back up again, and the Dean Winchester quirk of not wanting to be fussed over, not wanting to be seen as weak or ridiculous — what finally surfaces past all that is you.

Specifically, how much you push him to take care of himself.

Besides Sam, you're the only one who manages to keep him in check, the only one who cares that much, that you'd literally try to steal his car.

Yeah, I love you tends to cut through pretty much all the other bullshit.

Dean might not always express it words, but he does it now, taking your hand off his lap and pressing a kiss to your wrist, right over your pulse point.

You briefly take your eyes off the road to glance over at him, smiling. He's going to be out of commission for a while until this little problem clears up, in more ways than one.

The great Dean Winchester.

Beats Death itself, too many times to count.

Felled by pebble in his...well...proverbial shoe.

You try to hide your amusement, if not your affection. You bite your lip hard.

"Shut up," he warns, even though his lips twitch upward.

Your snort of laughter escapes before you can reign it in.

Beau Arlen

Beau is resistant at first, but he's probably the easiest to wrangle into seeing the doctor, whether it's yearly checkups or a man flu gotten out of control.

("You know what, my throat still feels weird on the left side, especially when I swallow. Feels scratchy and, uh, kinda hurts. You think I should get it looked at? What if it's laryngitis, or pneumonia, or God forbid, throat cancer. I mean, throat cancer, honey! That's nothin' to laugh at.")

You wish he'd have that "proactive" mentality with other areas of his health too, like not overworking himself at the precinct.

But when it comes to one exam in particular, he's your typical male of a certain age.

No matter how many times you remind him and write down the appointment on the calendar stuck to the fridge so he doesn't forget, he conjures some excuse for why he couldn't make it.

At first it's begrudgingly amusing, but by the third time, you're concerned, and even annoyed that he isn't taking his health more seriously.

"Look, I know it's not exactly pleasant, but this stuff is important. You gotta take care of yourself," you say.

You know you don't have to remind him that he has a daughter, but you will pull that card if you have to.

"Yeah, I know. It's just, uh..." Beau trails off, hands on his hips. He doesn't know what to tell you to make you understand how much he'd rather not go to this appointment.

"It's just a prostate exam, babe. I'll bet it's not half as invasive as a pap smear," you say wryly.

Beau shakes his head at you. "That very well may be, but believe you me, no man wants a latex finger up his..."

You raise your brows and tilt your head with a smile. "Well, you know. Some guys actually—"

Beau waves a hand at whatever you were going to say next.

"You know what, forget I said anything. I'd rather just live my life not knowing what's down there. Really, I'm good."

You utter a laugh, but you sidle up to him and grasp the open edges of his jacket. You turn your face up to him with a more sensuous smile.

"You don't mind when I do it," you tease.

Beau actually blushes. His cheeks and the tips of his ears tinge pink.

He clears his throat, his hands settling on the curve of your waist.

"Well, that's different," he says. His voice pitches lower, his green eyes taking on a slight mischievous gleam. "You're just teasin' the cave. You're not looking for coal."

Laughter bursts out of you like a gut punch. Your forehead falls against his chest as your entire body shakes with giggles.

Beau wraps you up in his arms. He tries and fails to temper his grin, even though his cheeks are still burning.

"All right, fine. I'll go," he says. "But I don't want to hear a damn peep out of you when I get back."

Soldier Boy (Ben)

(Oh, good fucking luck on this one.)

Ben rarely, if ever, gets sick. Of course, he's also nearly invulnerable.

However, you've been trying to get him to see a different kind of medical professional.

"Excuse me?" he growls. The first time you suggest it, he dismissed the idea with a roll of his eyes, thinking you were just trying to get a rise out of him. He doesn't appreciate you bringing it up again. "You better be fucking kidding."

"Ben..." You try to ply him with a gentle hand on his arm, but he shrugs you off, too irritated to curb the impulse.

"I'm fucking crazy, is that it? That what you're trying to say?" His voice raises, notch after notch. "I don't need a goddamn shrink!"

"I didn't say you were crazy!" you say. It's hard not to match his volume, but you manage to stand your ground while he huffs and puffs and eventually storms out.

You get discouraged and frustrated yourself, but you cling to every scrap of patience you can muster up for this man.

It's gonna take a few tries.

You start to suggest that maybe he should start easing up on the weed and the booze too.

Any time he snaps at you, you remind him that for as much shit as you've put up with him so far, this is the kind of shit that'll send you packing. Leaving his ass. For good.

He volleys back with empty words. "Fine, fucking leave."

You know they're empty, because every time you've called his bluff and packed a bag, he stops you.

"All right, enough. You've proved your fucking point."

After that, he tries to cut back on the booze, at least. He watches you pour out the Grey Goose and the Patrón.

Fucking fine by him. He's lost the taste for vodka, let alone that frilly French shit, and the cheap tequila.

But choking off the vein of one vice just makes another twice as strong.

Ultimately, it doesn't fix the problem either.

There's the time Ben blows a hole in the roof of your house (after a nightmare, he refuses to admit).

And there's a second time too. A third close call, and Ben pushes you clean off the bed so you won't get hurt.

If that didn't do it, he finally gets the picture after the second pink line appears on that white stick.

It now lies on your nightstand while you and Ben lay tangled together, bare skin against bare, flushed, sweaty skin.

A celebration, if you will.

His big hand lies splayed over your belly, protective, possessive, and deep down...grateful.

You glance up at the patched ceiling. Ben follows your gaze. His contentment fades into a frown, just like yours.

Both of you are thinking the same thing, if in different flavors of concern. Anxiety. (Guilt.)

"It's different now. You know that, right?" you say quietly. "If we're going to do this, you and me together, then I need you to protect us. Protect us from you."

At this point, you know he won't see a psychiatrist for his PTSD; not if it's to help himself (God forbid he admit that he needs it).

But if it's to protect you and your child, his own child...

Ben swallows a few acidic ounces of his pride.

Despite every cell in body that fights against it, he gets in his car the very next day and shows up for the appointment you made for him with Dr. David.

("What kind of quack fucking doctor goes by his first name, anyway? Christ.")

After the first couple of painfully awkward sessions, it's not so bad, Ben discovers.

He has a willing (heavily paid) audience for all of his stories from "the good old days."

Every gushy detail.

Russell Shaw

Russell is always quick to give reassurances, to downplay, to tell you that he's good.

But the day he comes home from a job with his bag hanging from his fingertips, almost dragging on the floor, his movements stiff as a rail — your heart sinks into your stomach.

"Hey, baby," he greets you tiredly, even tries to kiss you, but you're too busy running gentle hands over his arms and chest. Searching.

"Hmm, someone's missed me. Miss Handsy-yy-ahhh..." His playful quip dies the moment you find it.

Under his jacket lies the shoddy patch job on the bullet wound in his arm, located a few inches below the shoulder, just barely hidden by his sleeve.

"What the fuck is this?" you snap, half in anger, half in worry as tears spring hot in your eyes.

Russell immediately goes into damage control, soothing a hand down your arm and meeting your gaze.

"Hey, I'm okay. It's just a graze."

"Yeah fucking right. You're still bleeding!"

"Ehh, yeah, but no biggie. I've got some tools in the car—"

"No! We're going to the hospital."

"Sweetheart—"

"Right now! Let's go."

The man doesn't have the heart to argue with you too much after that. He knows he should've taken proper care of this before he got home. He really just wanted to, well, get home. To you.

But he regrets scaring you. He regrets making you worry.

He brushes the tears from your eyes and is grateful you don't ask what happened. He can't really tell you, even if he wanted to. His contract work with Horizon keeps his lips sealed for your safety, above all other reasons.

Only now does he begin to realize just how fucking unfair that is.

It really hits him when you sit with him for an hour and a half in the Emergency Department, waiting after the guy who fell off his moped, a kid with a little green army man stuck up his nose ("Hey, retro," Russell whispers to you), and a lady who can't seem to stop hiccuping.

Russell takes in a deep breath. He leans over to your ear.

"You know, we could just fix this up at home. A little needle and thread and some alcohol. Perfect First Aid kit," he says.

You narrow your gaze at him. "We're waiting to see a doctor. And don't think I'm done with you. When we get home, prepare to get punished."

A little smirk tugs at his lips. He brushes said lips across the back of your ear. "What am I, a little kid?"

You smile slightly as well.

"Well, if you're not going to tell me when you're hurt and try to cover it up like a little kid, that's how I'm gonna treat you."

Russell chuckles. His hand slips over your thigh.

"Gotta say, I'm kind of liking the sound of punishment. What'd you have in mind, sweetheart? Gonna spank me?"

And he's willing to give you more ideas.

You roll your eyes. Despite wanting to remain strong, his touch, the sensation of his lips brushing your ear sends a shiver curling down your spine.

"Oh, you just wait."

AN: lol I always have so much fun writing these. Let me know which one was your favorite this time! 💕

@waynes-multiverse You gave me another perfect little tidbit for Beau on Man Flu that made it into this one. 😂

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Dean Winchester Imagines

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Beau Arlen Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist 

Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy + Russell Tag List (Part 1)

@kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @luci-in-trenchcoats @lamentationsofalonelypotato

@mostlymarvelgirl @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester

@deans-spinster-witch @sanscas @hobby27 @kaleldobrev @spnwoman

@samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters @globetrotter28 @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean

@lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2 @deansbbyx @chernayawidow

@mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @twinkleinadiamondsky

@my-stories-vault @0ccvltism @rizlowwritessortof @cookiechipdough @mrsjenniferwinchester

@fromcaintodean @k-slla @jackles010378 @deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused

@mrlonelycat @deans-daydream @leigh70 @aylacavebear @kmc1989

@siampie @rubyvhs @winchestergirl2 @winchester-whiskey

[thedovesaredying]

You guys remember that old post about a writer who ends up dating a serial killer because the two of them are both interested in murder and mysteries? What about Serial Killer!Ghost dating his beloved Author!Reader?

The two of them adore reading murder mystery and horror stories, and both bonded over it on their first date together. Reader loves to curl up with a good crime novel while Ghost is flipping through a classic horror for potential inspiration. He often listens to you talk about the story you're currently working on, offering advice to help make it more accurate. You never question where he gets this knowledge from - he used to be in the military after all - even when the local news begins reporting on murders that are oddly similar to what you're including in your book (you don't watch the news anyway, it's all too depressing).

You love having a partner who is adores your career so much and is so happy to offer suggestions whenever you hit a wall with your creativity. In fact, he's always so eager to try and inspire new ideas in you, fascinated whenever you describe how side character #37 meets their grizzly end.

He loves your creativity. You always come up with interesting new ways to injure and kill people and he finds himself practically vibrating with the need to test out just how realistic those methods could be.

[mylittleredgirl]

one of the rats i took in is named socks, same as the clintons’ white house cat, so i thought i could source names for the others that way

and now my favorite wikipedia article is the list of presidential pets

did you know:

andrew jackson had a parrot named Poll who attended jackson's funeral... but had to be removed for screaming profanity

"Fido" became the default dog name because of lincoln's dog fido, and i am definitely naming my next dog fido because we need to bring that back

andrew johnson had no pets of his own but fed the mice in the presidential bedroom

there were a few dogs named Hector and Caruso over the years, which is not notable except that i really like those names for rat purposes.

hands down the best name is a snake named Emily Spinach

many pets named for the political process, in escalating order of hilarity: Veto (good solid sounding dog name), President (definitely named for joke potential), possums named Mr. Reciprocity and Mr. Protection (not qualities especially noted in possums; named for the republican party platform of the day) and a pair of lion cubs named Tax Reduction and Budget Bureau.

calvin coolidge was the one to name Tax Reduction and Budget Bureau. his presidential successor was Herbert Hoover who came to the white house with "Mr. Cat - a cat."

the only rat in the list is named jonathan (and he was a piebald/hooded rat like socks, so the rat who started this wikipedia dive may need to be renamed after all)

"Rebecca – raccoon. Rebecca was intended for a Thanksgiving feast; First Lady Grace had a tree-house built for her instead."

Fala, FDR's scottish terrier, seems to be the most famous presidential pet in history and has a longer wikipedia page than most people. he is credited with helping FDR win re-election, and is even immortalized in FDR's memorial statue. in fact, fala was so popular with american soldiers that they used "what's the name of the president's dog?" as a field test in WWII if they suspected a german soldier had snuck into their ranks.

lyndon johnson had two beagles named Him and Her

Pushinka, daughter of russian space dogs, instrument of world peace

amy carter named her cat Misty Malarky Ying Yang, and good for her for making newspapers print a made-up-song-about-your-cat kind of name.

ronald reagan had a fish named Ronald Reagan II

both FDR and joe biden had german shepherds named Major who had to be "removed from the premises for biting incidents."

the funniest name here isn't even a pet, it's "Zebulon Pike," the guy who gave thomas jefferson a pair of grizzly bear cubs. pike's peak is named for him. there aren't nearly enough babies named zebulon today.

FDR and Fala immortalized.

[shieldofiron]

The Baddest Motherfucker In the Valley

Based on this post, adding to AO3 soon lol.

“Do you think I’m being paranoid?” Stiles asks quietly.

They’re face to face, curled up in the little bed that’s now quite a bit too small since Stiles started college. Even smaller now that Derek is in it.

But Stiles hasn’t been able to sleep. He knows Lydia said the meat was fine, that Deaton tested it thoroughly. But Scott had a weird look on his face when Stiles first brought it up.

“I think you have a reason.” Derek says softly.

“But you think it’s ok? The gifts or whatever they are? You don’t think-“

“I think it’s going to be ok, Stiles.” Derek says it softly. “Just try to get some sleep ok.”

Stiles does try. It’s easier with Derek here because… because…

He can’t go there. Would not go there. This wasn’t about that.

Because it’s Derek, and no random werewolf would dare leave a gift on Stiles’ porch with Derek nearby. Because Derek was the baddest motherfucker in the valley and Stiles wasn’t going to go there.

It had started weeks ago. At first, they’d thought it was a dog or a cat. Stiles just helped his dad clean the rabbits off the porch.

Next came the deer. That wasn’t so bad, though Stiles still refused to eat the meat that his dad had brought back from the butcher.

Then came a mountain lion. A grizzly fucking bear.

Stiles was terrified, spending most nights awake trying to hear whatever was leaving it. But they didn’t leave a trace.

He didn’t know when he finally fell asleep, safe under Derek’s watchful gaze.

When he wakes, he’s alone, and the fear comes back in a rush. He heads down the stairs, checks the porch.

Nothing.

“I’m in here.” Derek says from the kitchen. Which, thank God he did, because he always moved so silently.

Stiles sighs audibly and wanders in.

Derek looks too good in the kitchen, Henley stretched tight over his broad back. He’s standing over the stove, something crackling in the pan that smells delicious.

“You didn’t need to cook.”

Derek just shrugs, because of course he does.

Stiles rolls his eyes. “Is this an alpha thing?”

Derek shrugs again and flips a few things from the pan onto a plate. He turns and slides it over to Stiles.

Stiles’ breath sticks in his chest. It’s the venison sausage, crumbled into fluffy scrambled eggs. It smells divine. It’s terrifying.

“Oh, I-“

“Stiles.” Derek’s voice is thick, and he pushes the plate a little closer with the tips of his broad fingers.

Stiles looks up frowning, searching Derek’s face. Something itches the back of his brain, something big, in the place he’s not supposed to go.

Because it was Derek. The baddest motherfucker in the valley. Because he is as silent as a wraith and because… because…

Stiles shoves a huge forkful in his mouth immediately, and tries to speak at the same time, “You mean it? Me? Are you sure?”

Derek just pushes the plate closer. “Yes.”

“You want to court me?”

“Been courting you. But yes.”

Their first kiss tasted like the beginning of the day, like a warm plate and sunshine.

[solar-wing]

⚣ Protective Lover 🥰

⚣✋🏻 A/N → Another idea partly inspired off one of my previous Jason posts. Dude is the definition of scary dog privilege. "and my man, thank you to my man." WARNINGS: Jealous/Possessive Behavior. Minor Swearing and Threats of Violence. Cute Fluff.

⚣✋🏻 Summary → It's no secret: Jason is a jealous and possessive boyfriend. But, many don't think about the benefit that comes along with that. He's hella protective. Sometimes it's overbearing, other times, it's very helpful.

⚣✋🏻 Words → 1.4k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

⚣ ENJOY 🥰

At some point, Y/N had gotten used to it. Was it annoying? Yes. Did it feel overbearing at times? Countless. Did he secretly love it and felt the world’s most (concerning) validation from it? Absolutely.

But, when looking at the situation and its circumstances as a whole, it made sense.

When he and Jason first started dating, there was definitely a vibe of him being a gruff but soft teddy bear who was clingy and needy for love and attention when with his chosen lover. But, when around literally anyone else who was not said lover or other people were in the same room as his chosen mate, he’d turn into the world’s scariest guard dog.

It was the general rule of Scary Boyfriend Privilege. Only the designated boyfriend could see their boyfriend’s soft and needy side. Anyone outside that got the ‘murderous if you get too close’ grizzly bear side.

Extremely hot and sexy, but it could be a bit (a lot) much at times. 

Y/N tried to get Jason to calm down, always showing that he could take care of himself and there was no reason for him to worry. But, living in a city like Gotham and given the vigilante’s past (hence the aforementioned situation and circumstances), there really was no calming him down.

But let’s look on the bright side here. With said privilege and the kind of boyfriend Jason was, Y/N never felt more safe and secure in his life. It was like walking around a video game world with the most overpowered gear on. He was basically untouchable.

Examples? Why, of course!

When it came to school, Y/N always preferred studying and doing his homework with Jason since he would help him stay focused and assist him with subjects that he struggled with. 

Y/N was not the first but certainly the loudest to say that Jason did not get enough credit for how smart he was. Yeah, he typically lived by street smarts, but he was big on book smarts as well. He just had to learn how to communicate the information in ways where it wasn’t confusing for both him and his boyfriend.

Plus, in dating Y/N, he learned the art and benefits of positive reinforcement which anyone could probably imagine taking a magnifying glass to their relationship, it was something the Y/N had to use a lot for Jason. Now, the vigilante was doing the same for his boyfriend by giving him little rewards for finishing his work and getting good grades like take-out dates, letting him play in his hair, and more often than not, a good dic-

PAUSE

Oh for fucks sake, are we doing this again? Why does it have to be PG-13? Well, no one said– Ugh…Fine.

A good fitness workout that involved lots of cardio, sweating, and soreness, but the good kind.

Happy?

But, the week of midterms turned out to be an equally busy week for Jason as well. He was knee-deep in a big crime plot and was getting closer and closer to solving the case. Y/N understood and didn’t want to get in the way of his boyfriend's duties. It still sucked though because it meant he wouldn’t be able to study in his apartment as he’d find way too many ways to get distracted. So, he had no choice but to study on campus, and figured what better place than the library?

Turns out there could have been better places.

Y/N was sitting at a large table by himself with various books in front of him along with his tablet and laptop reviewing his notes for a huge test he had the next morning. He wasn’t the only one who had the idea of going to the library to study as it was packed full of students trying to do last-minute cramming and studying.

Jason, as usual, called him to make sure he was okay and that he had gotten to the library safely even though Y/N was well aware his boyfriend had many different ways of tracking him and making sure he was where he was supposed to be. At first, he found it creepy, but when he got to know Jason’s family, he understood.

When Jason didn’t hang up the phone long after Y/N had already sat down and began reviewing, he decided he wasn’t going to hang up either, feeling more relaxed and calm while hearing his boyfriend’s voice and breathing through his earphones.

Now and then, Jason would call his name and check to make sure he was focusing and not slacking off or scrolling on social media and Y/N would turn and scold him for trying to check him when he should have been focused on fighting criminals.

“That’s the thing, babe. I can focus on more than two tasks at the same time. You, on the other hand, still can’t manage to focus on one task for more than 10 minutes without getting distracted by something else like your favorite song and flooding our apartment.”

“I told you to let the bathtub thing go!” Y/N whispered loudly into his earbud mic with a goofy smile on his face still.

“I will never let the bathtub thing go.”

They continued their playful back and forth while Y/N continued studying until he was interrupted by another student, a guy from one of his history classes. This guy was more or less a bit annoying and creepy and had been bothering Y/N for a while with his persistent quest to ask him out.

No matter how many times he rejected him, the guy always tried again and again. He never got forceful, or at least he never had the chance since Y/N always made sure there were people around or that he got to an area where other people were nearby just in case he tried something.

He wasn’t judging him, but he took Jason’s words and lessons very seriously when it came to his safety. He’d seen enough of his boyfriend’s cases where people didn’t take the necessary steps to keep themselves protected and safe because they didn’t imagine it would ‘go that far.’

The creep only left him alone when he saw Jason was with him. Truthfully, many people tended to steer clear of Y/N and his massively scary boyfriend whenever he was with them on campus besides his friends. They were even put off by Jason at times whenever they hung out with their friend cause they’d catch him at times giving them weird looks and glares if they touched or just got too close to his boyfriend for his liking.

Plus, after the one incident of the guy who tried to pick a fight with Y/N and pushed him, thus having to deal with Jason in the aftermath, everyone learned it was just better to steer clear.

So, when Jason wasn’t anywhere in sight, Y/N’s creepy stalker saw it as a perfect moment for him to try and make a move on his classmate, not expecting the very person he was hoping to avoid being on the phone the entire time.

It wasn’t until he saw Y/N unplug his earphones and hand him his phone that he realized he was indeed on a call, and after receiving possibly the most violently worded threat he had ever heard he decided there were plenty of other fish in the sea.

He handed the phone over to its owner before scurrying off like a scared mouse, Y/N watching with a confused but also amused and relieved look.

“Hi baby,” Jason immediately responded to Y/N’s ‘hello’ in his little delightful and excited tone whenever he heard his boyfriend’s voice.

“Jason, what did you say to him?” Y/N immediately asked.

“Hey! It’s babe, baby, sexy, honey, or Jay at the slightest to you, mister. Only my family calls me that.”

“Jason…”

“Babeee, stop it! I don’t consent to this treatment. No means no!” Jason protested in a whiny voice.

“You’re such a baby,” Y/N chuckled.

“Only for you, hot stuff. But we’ll be having a long talk when I get home about you not telling me about creepy guys bothering you.”

“How did you know?”

“Babe, you know who you’re dating, right? There never will be something that bothers you that I won’t know about. I’m always gonna protect you, even if it annoys the hell out of you.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the big smile spreading across his face at his boyfriend’s words, knowing he meant every single one. Jason would always be his protective lover.

☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[minecraft-sex-mod]

PREDICTIONS FOR THE SUCKENING SEASON 2 (if ever does it come)

-> hawk tuah inspired gag character (either killed off almost immediately or becomes a long running joke, akin to the labia ghoul)

-> edward twilight returns

-> one of the pcs dies for realsies

-> Arthur says something homophobic

-> will not even remotely pass the bechdel test

-> they forget to tie up at least one loose end

-> emizel gets blown up

-> Arthur gets tied up. grizzly will claim there's nothing sexual about it but there clearly is

-> TPK and the pheasant is the only surviving character

[lordprettyflackotara]

who’s afraid of little old me? || eyeless jack

smut minors dni 18+ ! tw: primal!eyeless jack, tall!cryptid!cannibal!reader, descriptions of gore/cannibalism, unrealistic predator/prey tendencies, blood kink, biting kink, breeding kink,squirting

full credits to @miss-multi45 for this concept <3

Strength. Skill. Stealth.

These were the traits that made Eyeless Jack believe he was at the top of the food chain. He had fought grizzlies before for fun, just to test his limits. The wolf pack that hunted in Slender woods steered clear of him. His scent was everywhere, along with the screams of his victims still echoing throughout the trees. Jack never had any issue hunting, a deer becoming a treat if campers hadn’t dared to wonder into the forest. With his heightened senses, he could smell or hear any living thing with no troubles. Truthfully the older he got, being an immortal cannibal was making him cocky. The self deprivation and depression was beginning to fade away. He was the best of the best. The only member of his kind. And better yet, he lived like a goddamn champion.

Hunting always put Jack in a good mood, the trill of the chase his favorite part. The potential of the victim, the variables he couldn’t control always made things so exciting.

So he did what he did best, shoving his scalpel in his hoodie and walking into the Slender forest. He was barely twenty feet in, when the sweet scent of metallics hit his nostrils. Jack frowned, lifting up his mask for a moment to deeply inhale. It wasn’t uncommon to smell blood in the forest, after all, Jack wasn’t ignorant enough to think the circle of life didn’t exist without him. But as he inhaled deeply, his eye sockets widened. Copious amounts of blood had been shed on his land and he hadn’t caused it. It could only mean one thing: there was an intruder lurking on his territory.

Not only were you lurking, you were hunting. You might as well have slapped Jack in the face. Jack gritted his teeth, darting into the direction of the scent. He zipped effortlessly through the trees, ignoring all of the curious gazes the forest’s creatures gave him as he zoomed by. Usually Jack stalked his prey effortlessly, he never ran unless he was chasing something. Little did those little chipmunks and squirrels know he was hunting, just something much more dangerous than normal. You.

When Jack had hit the clearing, that’s where he saw you. A secluded campsite that once sat in the open field was now painted crimson red. Tents were barbacilbly torn open, blood trails splattered across the grass. It was something straight out of a horror movie. Dont get him wrong, Jack loved horror movies. But only when he created them. He walked past the abandoned tents, the wind blowing past him only increasing the sweet stench of exposed organs. That’s when Jack saw you. As ethereal as the internet and story tellers had described. Your hair was long and luscious, braided down your back. Your eyes were bright and snakelike, the golden color focused on your meal. You held a young man in your grasp, the life drained from him ages before you had gotten him in this position. His eyes were lifeless, his body slumped over as you bit into his neck. Jack watched silently as you ripped out a chunk of flesh, chewing on it quickly before swallowing it. Jack was puzzled, were you even enjoying the flavor? He watched as you continued to eat the scraps of flesh that remained on the corpse. Blood trailed down your chin, thin splatters of the red liquid were drying across your cheeks.

“Are you going to stand there or are you going to join me?” You asked suddenly. You were very aware of Jack’s presence, the notion alone freaking him out. “I don’t dine with trespassers,” Jack stated plainly. He stepped fully into view, your eyes briefly flickering up and scanning him briefly. “You’re not human, what are you?” You asked. Jacks hands were tucked in his pockets, his height giving away his species. “I could ask you the same. Thought you were just a myth,” Jack replied cooly. You finally looked up from your meal, ignoring the dozens of other ripped apart corpses that laid between the two of you. “And I thought one could only have sight if they had eyes. I guess we both thought wrong,” You quipped. Jack tried to conceal the animalistic growl that boiled in the bottom of his throat. “Allow me to cut to the chase, you’re hunting on taken land,” Jack spat, venom placing his words. Curiously you rose to your feet, the demons eye sockets widening. You were just as tall as him, without shoes. You were bare foot, your long legs glimmering in the sunlight.

The pastel yellow sundress you wore was stained with dry and fresh blood, rising up just above your inner thighs. “The Operator owns this land,” You answered, slowly. It occurred to you that Jack may look human like, but his animal instincts were overriding any sense of humanity he had left. “Right, but I hunt here. My scent is everywhere, I know you smelled it when you decided to slaughter my cattle,” Jack snarled. You narrowed your eyes, momentarily blinded by one of the corpses being reanimated. The young woman was barely clinging to life, her intestines hanging loosely on the ground. Both of you could hear her shallow breathing. “Oh for fuck sake,” You mumbled, stepping over your previous meal. Jack growled, watching you pick up the slumped over body. You grabbed her neck, twisting it to the side. A sharp snap rung through out Jacks ears. “I like my organs fresh,” Jack snapped. You dropped the fresh corpse. Rolling your eyes, you straightened your back. “Her organs were quite literally coated in dirt, is that the freshness quality you were searching for?” You asked sarcastically. Jack’s patience was thinning. In a swift motion he took off his mask, baring his shark like teeth.

“Enough chit chat. I am an apex predator. You are quite literally no where near me on the food chain,” Jack yelled. You blinked, your mind spinning as you contemplated your next move. “Are you really afraid of little old me?” You questioned quickly. Should you laugh? He couldn’t quite possibly be serious right? “Um, I mean we can share the leftovers..?” You asked slowly, unsure how to respond to his animalistic behavior. Jack snarled, throwing himself at you. You were a threat. Jack knew how to handle threats, he did it for Slender on occasion. He was proficient in his ability to kill. Killing you was no exception. You narrowly dodged him clawing at you, his sharp claws ripping through your dress. He was huffing as you both watched the fabric fall to the ground. Shreds of the pastel yellow cloth hit the dirt, a cool breeze sending goosebumps across your freshly exposed skin. Jack’s eye sockets widened at the sight of your exposed breast, a creamy silk lingerie covering you. Jack couldn’t quite remember the last time he had given in to his primal urges to mate. He never considered a human being, due to the likelihood of him breaking them by mistake. But you, you were just like him in an odd way. Your breast were nice and perky, your cunt covered with a thin fabric that he could hardly consider to be undergarments.

He had anticipated you to rush to cover yourself, as the average person would do. But if anything you stood taller. “One minute you want to kill me, the next you’re staring at me like a pre teen boy. Are you bipolar?” You asked. Jack snickered at the question. “I’m a doctor, i’d know if I was bipolar,” He answered. Something about your unwavering confidence only made you more attractive. You were a threat surely, but you seemed to have much more potential as a mate. The primal urge to breed was clouding Jack’s judgment, his temporary territorial rage completely subsided. “I’m no doctor but i’d say you’re animalistic then human,” You say. Jack furrowed his eyebrows. “Oh really? How do you gather that?” He asked. You pointed at his pants, your hands still covered in fresh blood. “Your cock is straining against your jeans,” You say. Jack felt heat rush to his cheeks, before looking down. He hadn’t felt embarrassment for the first time in a long time. Yet here you were, flustering him beyond belief. “You’re cute when you’re flustered. I get the sense that neither of us have had the privilege of mating in a long time,” You said. Jack nodded, trying to seem cool and level headed. “May I make a proposal?” You asked.

Jack agreed, trying to keep his voice steady and even. “I’d say one thing we have in common is the fact we have pent up stress due to what we are. Now, I think leaving you these delicious leftovers as well as allowing ourselves to indulge in our more primal urges with one another is more than fair,” You offered. Jack ran the offer in his head, calculating all of the different possibilities. “And after you’ll leave?” He asked. You nodded affirmatively. “I never stay in one place for too long,” You answered. You walked towards the demon, bringing your index finger to under his chin. You lifted his head up, examining his neck. You could hear his pulse up close, it was beating much faster than the average human. “I will admit though i’ve broken my previous toys in the past. Are you sure you can handle me?” You questioned. Jack chuckled darkly, grabbing your wrist and moving your hand away. “I could ask you the same question,” He grinned. Quickly you brought your lips to his, allowing yourself to shudder under his warm touch as he grabbed your waist. His hands were large and warm, pulling you closer towards him. You could feel his aching boner as you kissed him deeply, the demon on cloud nine.

Your height complimented his if anything, his large hands grabbing your ass. You jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist. The dampness of your panties was already soaking through, leaving a wet spot on his crotch. You whined as you bucked your hips against his, the demon unfazed by your height. You briefly pulled away, nibbling teasingly at his bottom lip. You tasted like blood, as well as faint bubblegum. “You’re stronger than I thought loverboy,” You complimented. Jack roughly brought you to the closest tent, your back hitting a forgotten sleeping bag. “Yeah? Let’s see how you handle me,” He replied smoothly. He kissed down your neck, purposefully nibbling at the sensitive skin. His hands wondered down to your hips, pulling apart what remained of your dress. “I assume you’ll be acquiring me some clothes?” You questioned. Jack shrugged off his hoodie, carelessly tossing it at your face. “Here, that should fit you,” He grunted. Tearing away your panties and tossing them aside, your bare slick drove the demon into a frenzy. He wrapped his arms around your thighs, keeping them pried apart as as began to lap at your cunt.

Your hand instinctively flew down to his hair, tugging harshly at the roots as he stuck two of his tongues inside of your aching entrance. You gasped in surprise, moaning in delight as he curled them upwards. “At least that mouth is good for something,” You panted, grinding against his face. His third tongue flickered and swirled at your clit, pushing you closer to the edge. Your human lovers could never compete with this. He had been buried in between your thighs for mere minutes and you already could feel the knot in your stomach tighten. Jack grunted in response to your comment, delivering a sharp slap to your thigh. A whine escaped your lips, your thighs squeezing around his head. His tongues were merciless, your juices so delicious Jack found himself humping against the tent’s floor to help relieve his aching cock. He could feel your gummy walls squeezing his tongues, a concealed smirk spreading across his lips. You were just as delicious as the chaos you caused. You gave his hair one final tug, releasing all over his face.

Jack contained to lap at your slick until he deemed you clean. You were dazed, but repositioned yourself quickly. Your mouth was watering at the idea of sucking his cock. You’d never wanted something more. Jack quickly pushed you back down, the clinking of his belt sending a shiver down your spine. “Not this time. I can’t go another minute without being inside of you,” He snarled. His sudden dominance only made you more wet, his hands roughly shoving you into a mating press. Jack licked his lips as he pulled out his cock, slowly pushing it inside of you. You whined at the stretch, Jack not failing to notice your claws digging into his arms. “Not so big and bad now are we?” He teased. He let out a groan as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. The way you were gripping him, the way your nails were digging into his back. You wanted this just as bad as him. You needed this just as bad as him. He fully bottomed out inside of you, his tip brushing against your g spot. “Holy fuck,” You whimpered. Jack couldn’t help but grin devilishly as he slowly moved his hips. “It’s like you were made for me,” He grunted. He began to pick up the pace, snapping his hips into yours.

His thrust were rough and desperate, his body craving to release into yours. He had never felt such a raw and intense connection before, his body demanding more. “You’re mine, all mine,” Jack grunted. He continued to fuck you, sinking his teeth into your shoulder. You gasped at the sensation, a moan escaping his lips and being muffled by your skin as he sucked at your blood. The metallic taste was euphoric, your cunt squeezing him tighter as he marked you. “Fuck leaving. You’re mine. My mate,” Jack moaned. His thrust became more aggressive, his cock abusing your cunt as he claimed you as his own. You felt your eyes roll into the back of your head, your thighs shaking. “Oh my fucking- fuck! Jack!” You moaned. Jacks thrust were uncontrolled, his body demanding to fill your cunt to the brim. He released your neck, his three tongues lapping at the wound. “This feels nice huh? Being knocked down a peg?” Jack snickered. The feeling of your gummy walls milking him dry was euphoric, the demons orgasm coming closer.

“Gonna fill you up over and over and over. My little mate. Your pussy’s like goddamn heroin,” Jack rambler. You forced yourself to prop yourself up on your elbows, crashing your lips against Jack’s. “You talk too much,” You teased, nipping at his bottom lip. You groaned in his mouth as his cock abused your g spot, your eyes fluttering open as you squirted around his cock. Your juices coated his lower half, the demons hips finally stuttering and coming to a halt. His warm, thick cum flooded your cunt, filling you to the brim. You both were panting messes, Jack utterly surprised when you flipped the two of you over effortlessly. You straddled him, managing to keep his cock buried inside of you.

“So loverboy, wanna go for round two?”

You had so much stamina it was scary. Jack could see it in your eyes, you were ready to go as many rounds as he could do.

Maybe Jack should’ve been afraid of little old you.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

was it ever clarified if morphing shows up in blood tests?

What we actually get in #49 is:

Cassie took a deep breath. "Here's what I think. There's only one reason the Yeerks would suddenly be interested in blood. DNA. They're collecting samples of our morph animals, and they're collecting as many human samples as they can." She looked at us. "They're searching for humans with strands of animal DNA in their blood." (p. 16)

Later on, it's:

Cassie closed her eyes. «We overlooked something. Something huge. Our blood is all over the place. Every time we fight these creeps, we bleed. Traces of our human DNA is floating around in all that animal blood. All they have to do is scoop it up and wait for a match.» Jake nodded. «Or a partial match. Somebody in our family.» He stared at Ax. «Tom?» (p. 45)

We know that the first match is between Tobias's mostly-hawk blood and Loren's DNA, and that the yeerks match Jake to Tom within the next few hours. However. This is Cassie talking, not Michelle or Estrid or Steve. She knows some medical stuff, and she's the most skilled morpher, but she freely admits that she has no formal training in biology.

This is also one of those "sci fi Monet" problems, where the closer you get to the fine details the less the color blobs form a coherent picture. There is no literal way that a human could be 0.1% grizzly bear and still function well, nor that a hawk could be 0.1% human. And you'd need a fuckton of blood to extract DNA, or some kind of sequencer that's more sophisticated than any existing technology. But. Tobias's hawk blood contains some amount of human-Tobias DNA, as does Loren's blood. That much is canon.

[bones4thecats]

Hi, I would like to request Goku, Bardock, and Gohan play fighting with their child/children if that’s ok?

The Saiyans Play-Fighting w/ their Kids

Characters: Son Goku, Bardock, and Son Gohan Requester: @crispy-qw A/N: I drank an entire bottle of water writing this. I'm pretty sure I mentally sobbed writing all this fluff... ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Pure tear-jerking fluff ⚠️

Disclaimer: The timeline in Bardock's part is diverse from the canon

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Son Goku ══════════════════════════════╝

🍜 When you found out you were pregnant, Goku was very happy. Ever since he heard stories from ChiChi about how her father raised her when they were younger, he just wanted that bond with someone

🍜 It was at the time your oldest boy, Gohan, was born that Goku's nerves all calmed down. While he was nervous that someone would come down and harm his family, these nerves just got pushed away in favor of spending time with you and his boy

🍜 Goku is an amazing father, no doubt. And this is always proven when he would play fight with his two boys. Gohan would normally spend his time reading and learning while Goten, your second, would want to train with his dad and Uncle Piccolo

🍜 That day in particular, you had come home from a check-up with Bulma, who was making sure your third-baby, an unnamed girl, was doing well in your womb. You had just closed your door when you heard the sound of cheers coming from your backyard

🍜 Walking outside once again, you saw your husband and two sons messing around. They certainly weren't using their full strength as they messed around. Goku would mainly wrestle them in the air as they tried escaping his grasp, testing their physical strength

🍜 You smiled as the boys played around. It was always nice to see the three of them bond, especially since in nine weeks you would be delivering the second girl of the family. They needed to get their manliness out sooner rather than later

🍜 While you would normally sit down and watch them play, you needed to get some sleep, spending over an hour around Vegeta, Bulma, and Trunks could get exhausting for a woman after all... especially when Vegeta was being held down because he was sick

🍜 As you closed the backdoor behind you, you could hear the three boys laughing together along with a crash of them landing on the ground. This was the family you always dreamed of having. Thank Kami you got it

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Bardock ═══════════════════════════════╝

🛡️ Bardock and you always knew you wanted children, but as you were both warriors, this had to be held back for a while. And when you guys finally settled down, you had your two boys, Raditz and Kakarot

🛡️ Raditz was far more into being a warrior than Kakarot, as he would be out wrestling with other Saiyans while your younger would train by himself, only being joined by a select few of other Saiyans he considered to be friends

🛡️ Due to the power your husband sensed in them, he began to train his sons very diligently. Almost always helping them outside while you would mainly stayed inside and would handle more medical-related topics, almost always being called away to treat some Saiyan warriors who's pride went to their head

🛡️ You were called away the same day that Kakarot and Raditz were home from training with the army. Bardock had been with them due to an injury that came to his legs during a battle, leaving him to be home-ridden for a few days

🛡️ When you finally arrived home from handling almost fourteen whole teams of warrior's injuries, you could hear laughing and smashes coming from behind your home, leading you to laying your supplies down and walking out to find your family of boys training together

🛡️ Well, training isn't the best word. They were more tackling and wrestling one another. And it was so cute for you to watch after seeing so many grizzly injuries on your people from fights planets away

🛡️ Bardock eventually excused himself from his sons, telling them to keep up their skills. He then turned from his bickering children to his wife, whom stood there as her tail swayed gently in adoration at their actions together

"Welcome home, Y/N."

"It's good to see you bonding with the boys, Bardock."

"I know. I'm enjoying this time with them."

"You better. I did not spend so much time helping create them for you to not like them." You said.

"Don't worry, I don't just like them. I love them, they're the best sons a Saiyan could ask for."

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Son Gohan ═════════════════════════════╝

📚 Because Gohan's job took up a lot of his time, he couldn't always be around as much as he wanted to be. But whenever he did have free time, he would grab you from behind and cuddle with you, relaxing and talking about whatever's been going on in your personal lives

📚 But, after you gave birth to your daughter, Pan, Gohan had been trying to be around her more. It was difficult, but he did succeed at bonding with her most of the time

📚 You could not be more happy than to watch her bond with both her father and the man he considered to be a part of your family, that being your Namekian-ally, Piccolo

📚 Just watching as Piccolo trained her was nice, but seeing your husband take some time off to help with his daughter's development was just better in your opinion. Witnessing the closeness that your family had, no matter is blood relation was involved, was beyond wondrous

📚 One lovely day, your mother-in-law, ChiChi, had wanted to spend some time with you, to which you agreed and called up Piccolo, asking if he could babysit Pan while you left and Gohan was working. The Namekian agreed and said he'd arrive shortly, allowing you to get ready and leave

📚 You spent around two hours with your in-laws before you left, missing your daughter and husband dearly. Stepping in the backyard, you were shocked to see Gohan in his old uniform, trying to teach Pan how to throw a punch gently. He always said he hated fighting while you were together, but he did love his daughter, so maybe his love for her surpassed that

📚 Walking up and sitting beside Piccolo as he watched the two human-Saiyan hybrids, you asked how long they had been doing this and what he did to get Gohan out of his office

"Just Pan's baby-eyes did the trick. They've been doing this for around 20 minutes, Gohan's been teaching her simple fighting moves. Kicking, punching, even slapping... don't know why the last one though."

"Eh, you never know." You giggled.

📚 Piccolo smiled as Gohan tried teaching Pan to fly, resulting in her falling on her butt and him panicking and looking for any kind of wound on her body. You sometimes wonder if you married a hypochondriac

[scivors]

DATING NIKTO HEAD CANONS

Andre Nikto..huh, are you sure?

Who would've thought, huh?..You know,.. before you two became a couple, most of his guys back at the base would kinda tell you stories back and forth.

Oh, Nikto this and Oh, Nikto that, he's a psychopath, sociopath, he doesn't care about no one but himself. Some were conern for you, did you wake up and decided you just wanna lose all your self respect? Do you need therapy even?

They're giving you a heads up, few warning signs to not go down that path of dating a man who has a interesting background (not the good one)

He doesn't care about his teammates why would he care about you? And the stories go on and on. You brushed it off..

Nikto doesn't care about his teammates because that's their job and that's what they're set to do. Why should he feel empathy for someone who's signed the papers to risk their life? Making friends leads to attachment, attachment leads to a close bond, a close bond would lead to a sick pain in the stomach when you get the news that your teammate didn't make it out alive. Who would want that? Not Nikto.

And how about that..., someone showing a monster kindness. He's never been treated gently by anyone in his life not even his family when he was only a little Мальчик. You didn't know, however. You still made sure to greet him every time and you ask him about how his day was, you ask him if he's hungry etc. If he ever comes back home with scars you treat them with love and care

(note: before you, most of the time he will come back home with a lot of scars and wouldn't bother treating them cause he doesn't feel them at all until he notices he's been bleeding a lot..)

He takes his shirt off for you and allows you to treat his scars against his own will cause you got sick of him ignoring it like it's some natural thing. He'd sit down on the edge of the bed with his back leaned forward as you search for any new damages to his skin. Your care is what really got him questioning why him?

Well, it's the least you could do for him to show that you won't hurt him and that he's loved.

When he took off his shirt for the first time Infront of you, he has a little belly fat on him, he has fat in some areas of his body but that just means by appearance and shape, he's healthy (he's very much in shape maybe not like a full-on body builder but he's got the strength and the spirit, so it didn't really bother him that much as long as he can still do his training with no complications.) ALSO he might have a cross tattoo somewhere, he also has medium body hair too, so really he just looks like a grizzly bear in your house. You'd just imagine him as a grizzly bear, not because he's Russian, god no, good thing he can't read your mind..

He doesn't do affection, his touch is not as gentle as yours. But if you make him do some heavy lifting, he's surely right for the job.., if you need help with fixing things, he's gonna fix it, if you need an oil change, hes also there so he makes sure you don't get scammed. Anything he's familiar with, he can do that for you 100%

However this doesn't mean he'll move away whenever you try to show him affection, no, he'll just let you do what you want and just..stand still, probably still as a statue..

You come up behind him as he's just sitting there, as soon you got close enough towards him, your arms give him a nice welcoming hug around the neck, he doesn't flinch or tries to move away. This doesn't mean he doesn't care, he just feels relaxed.

First night you're sleeping together (not like that) you're in a sweetheart's cradle cuddling position and you can hear his heartbeat.

His heartbeat is steady, it's nice. But what's really special about that night, for you at least, is that he took off his mask Infront you for the first time. He didn't care for the most part, Nikto carries a mask for identity purposes so that he stays anonymous. He's fully aware what his face looks like, but he will test you to see if you'd care.

Your reaction settles like this;

Like always you don't care what he looks like, his looks never mattered to you. With your usual airy voice that has the sound of what can only be described as a silky, smooth collusion of skyburst reds and yellows of the setting sun when it shines it's light to a dark forest, it aluminates the trees with it's light, a voice to which sounds like calm nature, you reassured your big teddy bear that what they did to him to make him look so abnormal doesn't change anything, you're not frightened by what's Infront of you but you showed more concern than disgust..

Your hands traveled towards his face to examine his face a little further, his jaw isn't straight and neither is his nose, his abnormalities that attracts the eye really makes you question what torture methods did they use on him.. As you're memorising his every feature and kissing every scar you feel two rough grips by your wrists slowly moving your hands away and with Nikto's usually straightforward tone says

"that's enough, let's get some rest.."

He's not used to this romantic cherishing feeling, so you brush it off as a natural response to care..giving that he's been independent all his life..

Nikto would test you, like anyone with trust issues..

Nikto isn't the kind to put his whole efforts on you unless you prove to him that no matter what, you'll stay. And I don't mean that as in he will go out and be with other women to make you jealous, no, god no.What I'm saying is that Nikto is naturally difficult to deal with because, well, you've been warned the first time..

In other words Nikto is in less control of what he's doing and not knowing where he stands..

It's that inner thought that tells him you're going to leave him after one small argument then he'll feel guilty when you're the one being reasonable which results to him going silent..

He gets jealous, he will ask you about any man that gets close to you and won't believe you when you say that he's just a friend and it doesn't mean anything, he will question where have you been, question who you were with, he will question your loyalty, he will go through your phone when you're not lookin, stalking you when you don't know it etc. Eventually, this all builds up and you constantly reassured him that you only love him and there is no way that you'd ever cheat on him..

He finds I pretty hard to believe but since those are your words, he'll put everything down and he'll trust you with your words..

Though, he's confident enough to know you won't cheat on him it's the fact that despite all that, men will still approach you and he knows what they're capable of..

Nikto is the type to wait until marriage. Though, sure, he was the type to do one night stands and leave with no feelings attached, he'd never thought that he'd end up in a relationship, so it means when it's someone who's bound to be his partner, he eventually waits until marriage..(Slavic man mindset)

Now, hear me out, Nikto might not be the best at showing affection but he does show it in ways you don't understand. Let's say you love oranges, he will come back home after work with three bags filled with oranges. Or you have a favourite drink, next time he's out getting groceries, he'll make sure to add your favourite drink in the cart..

Now about the part of him being difficult to deal with, Nikto doesn't express himself how'd you expect everyone to express their feelings,thoughts and emotions and everyone knows that, even his teammates. Some nights, when you're asleep he'd go out on the balcony and just sit there for hours

everything was quiet except for one thing and that is his thoughts..

His mind has been racing, aching, hurting, not one minute existed where he wasn't hearing muffled screams of anger, sadness and complaints that never seem to come to an end..but this time he couldn't wait till morning..

He grabs his own head seemingly like he wasn't his own person "calm down" he said

"No one is going to hurt you, not anymore, there is no one around you that is going to hurt you, they're in the past..you're safe now.."

And before any reply in hesitation of to speak

He repeats to himself

"No one's going to hurt you, "

Those nights when you wake up without him in the same bed, you already know what's happening with him yet you don't want to interfere not knowing which alter it is..it could be the one that's not so friendly.. especially with you, Nikto told you this before, or was it Nikto??..you can't recall..so you just go back to sleep..

Walking around with Nikto means either both of you look intimidating or you're the usually nice and social kind of person while Nikto is unapproachable.., it balances it.., no?

[anotherdragon]

GRIZZLY AND MILO SOLO EPISODE 💪💪💪 WONDERLUST SECOND JRWI CAMPAIGN TO PASS THE BECHDEL TEST 💪💪💪

[bio-hazard]

if you are currently taking requests!!

making out with Charlie “for the bit” in the background of a video, but then you both quickly find that it’s not a joke anymore? I think this could be something 👉👈

AHHH oh my god okay. i kinda lost the plot but i hope this is close enough and works lmfao 😭😭 had to use the jrwi boys because umm ,, im playing favourites but it doesn't matter too much . i hope u like it tho !

( also i am Always taking requests im just not the best at fulfilling them in a timely manner ........ >> )

Ready, Aim, Fire! [ sfw, ~2k ]

The ride over was warm. It was a hot summer day, and you were crammed in the middle of the backseat of the car the group had rented for the trip. Grizzly hummed along to the radio as he drove and Condi enjoyed the AC of the passenger seat, meanwhile you were stuck between Charlie and Bizly, who were currently fighting over... Something. You had tuned them out a while ago, until Bizly reached across to lunge at the camera in Charlie's hand and accidentally got you in the face.

"Hey-!!"

"Shit, sorry man." Bizly laughed and lowered his arm, not sounding all that sorry.

"You'd better be sorry."

"Yeah, I got that on camera. That's going in the video." Charlie zoomed in on him, causing Bizly to lunge for it again.

"If you boys don't calm down back there, I am turning this car around!!" Grizzly called, and Bizly reluctantly leaned back into his seat, kicking at Grizzly's.

"Fine, Mom."

You sighed and shook your head, looking over to Charlie who had put the camera in his lap and was fanning his shirt out.

"The hell are you two even fighting about?"

"Oh, he wanted to hold the camera." You blinked at Charlie slowly, and his smile just grew a little more, knowing it was stupid.

"... Okay. It doesn't even matter, we're going to be wearing cameras in there aren't we? Nobody's going to even be holding that camera during the game."

Charlie gave a halfhearted shrug and pushed his hair out of his face. You couldn't help but notice the way it already looked messy and chaotic and grabbable-

Woah.

You'd had a crush on Charlie for a while now, but resigned yourself to staying quiet for fear of ruining the group, or even worse, ruining your relationship with Charlie. You spent plenty of time with him in person for videos or on call with him during streams and he was probably your best friend. Despite that, you'd occasionally allow yourself a jab that pushed that line, tested what you could and couldn't get away with before he caught on, and to your gratefulness, he hadn't noticed yet.

"Have you got any strategies planned out for the game?" Charlie snapped you out of your gaze, speaking as he turned back to the camera and fiddled with the settings, recording out the window a little bit.

You hummed and considered it.

"Kick ass?"

"That was my idea!" Charlie gasped, bumping you with his arm. This made you knock into Bizly, who shoved you back much harder against Charlie and into his chest. There was a silent moment of staring before you both started to giggle. "Hi there."

"Hi!" You examined his face, enjoying the slight flush to his cheeks from the heat. (Surely, it was just from the heat, you scolded your fluttering heart.)

"You comfy?" He raised an eyebrow, cracking a teasing smile.

"Maybe a little," You retorted.

As you pushed yourself off of him, you got the best, worst possible idea. If falling on him like that caught him off guard so much... "Or maybe that's part of my strategy." A hint of something more flirtatious than you intended slipped into your tone as you smiled and poked his chest. "Maybe it's already in motion, and I'm throwing you off your game before we even get in the building."

His eyebrows raised as he glanced down at your hand, obviously taken a little off guard by your implications, then he steeled himself into a competitive grin.

"Well maybe I already started before we even got in the car." He tilted his head with a grin as he challenged you. "Your move."

You snickered as the car turned into the parking lot, and you filed out of the hot car behind Charlie, using him as leverage to get out.

He closed the door behind you and made sure everything was situated before pulling out the camera and started recording the large building.

Laser Tag. It was an idea borne of late night Discord calls and a bit of shooting each other through the screen that brought up the idea of finding the biggest laser tag you guys could rent out for a day and play in, and weeks later, here you were.

The AC blasting just inside the doors was a nice reprieve, and you let out a deep sigh, only to be met with the camera in your face.

"That's part of my plan, too." Charlie stage-whispered at you, "Get you to relax, lull you into a false sense of security...."

You shook your head.

"No, that's actually part of my plan. To make you think i'm relaxed, so you'll never expect it when I attack."

"Guys, come on!" Condi called, and you realized the three others had entirely walked off toward the front desk and left you two standing under the AC fans.

You glanced at Charlie, who met your gaze and you both scrambled to race to the desk, crashing into the others and nearly sending everyone down in a domino effect.

Charlie talked to the employee who came out to talk to you guys and get everything set up, and you did your best to pay attention to the instructions as they spoke, but Charlie kept making finger guns at you and whispering "Alll according to plan..." whenever you looked at him. You just smiled and rolled your eyes.

When the employee helped you get your vest on, you thanked them and fumbled with the clasps until Charlie took notice and clipped his together before helping you with yours.

"Is that good?"

"Yeah, thanks." You nodded and tried to ignore the way your stomach did flips as he patted your side and called over to Bizly to toss him one of the small cameras to help you attach it to the vest. He leaned down to meet your chest and you had to avert your gaze to avoid getting any more flushed than you already were. When it was clipped on and he was sure it was recording, Charlie stood up and gave you a thumbs up before putting his own on. It was a bit harder from the angle he was at, so you reached up to attach the clip.

"There, it's on." You tugged it a little to make sure it was attached before glancing up and seeing him staring at you with a slightly shocked expression, before he quickly looked away and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, uh.. Thank you."

Oh, you had a plan in mind now alright, and it was going to get you major points against Charlie in the game.

The arena was dark when you walked in, lit only by the glow in the dark details and decorative lights making sure you weren't about to immediately trip over anything. The gun was plastic, but still decently weighted in your hands as the five of you split up, all acting as individual players rather than teams. There was a countdown buzzer, then the vest around you blinked to life and your gun whirred with the illusion of energy. Music faded in, and it was on.

It was still warm in the room as you darted between covers and hid behind decorations, adrenaline thrumming with the genuine rush that this gave you. The music was just loud enough to cover most footsteps, but your vest would occasionally chime whenever someone else was shot, and it made you jump every time.

After a certain amount of time, there would be a short recovery period, where your vest would shut off and let you catch your breath safely. During this, you bumped into Grizzly, who bit back a shriek as you didn't immediately see him in a corner.

"God, you scared me!"

"Dude, you scared me!!" He chuckled and caught his breath. "This is tense!"

"Have you gotten anyone yet?" Grizzly shook his head at your question, still breathing a bit heavy.

"Nothing impressive, just a few shots here and there. Charlie is.. Stupidly good at this though, I think I saw him genuinely tuck and roll before shooting me??"

You hummed. That wouldn't do, you couldn't possibly let him win.

"Hey, if I have a plan to distract him long enough for both of us, can we make a truce?"

Grizzly nodded and you shook hands as the timer counted down again.

He stuck close behind you, and you watched each other's backs as you hunted down Charlie through the darkness. The sound of Bizly yelping caught your attention, and you two exchanged a glance before moving over that way.

You spotted Charlie first peeking around a corner, signalling for Grizzly to stay out of sight.

"Charlie!" You held your hands up and caught his attention. He whipped his gun to face you, and you could see curiosity take over his expression. "Truce?"

"Maybe.." He didn't lower his gun, "What for?"

"I just wanna talk!" You stepped closer until his gun tapped your vest. "Can we do that?"

He seemed to consider it, then slowly lowered his gun.

"Yeah, alright. What's up?"

"Do you wanna team up?"

"Team up?" In the darkness, you saw him squint. "How do I know this isn't part of your plan?"

You scoffed, hand to your chest as you stepped closer to him, watching him step back and realize his back was against the wall.

"What? My plan? No!" There wasn't an ounce of belief in Charlie's eyes as he watched you carefully, but you leaned closer to his mouth. "Just need you alone and cornered for a minute..."

His smile dropped slightly and you glanced down to his lips. It was just a ploy, it was just for the humour of the video. Grizzly was probably getting some great footage, people would eat this up. You put one hand on his shoulder.

"That's part of my plan."

Charlie's smile grew again, and he hummed.

"Yeah? Well actually - This was part of my plan." And suddenly your lips were against his lips, and your head was nothing but the mantra of it's just for the bit, it's just for the bit, it's just for the bit...

Charlie let out a single groan that you felt more than heard, and all thoughts flew out of your mind instantly. You gripped the back of his neck and let your gun drop, and felt his arm wrap around your waist to pull you closer.

It was warm in here, and being pressed so close to him while wearing a thick vest with electrical lights and things inside definitely wasn't helping, but you really couldn't complain.

... You pitied the editor who was going to have to cut out all of this footage.

After far too long, you pulled away from Charlie, panting into each other's mouths as you just stared at each other.

"So... Whose plan was... that a part of?" Charlie teased, squeezing your waist as he readjusted his grip, not yet ready to let go.

"Uhm..." Your head was reeling with the taste of Charlie on your tongue. "Mine, probably."

He let out an amused huff and leaned back in to kiss you, and you happily obliged. The timer for the safety round went off, and you stumbled back, shaking off the haze of actually making out with Charlie.

.. God did that really just happen?

He seemed to be just as out of it as you, and the two of you just stood there and held each other for stability until the alarm went again. "So.. About that--"

He was cut off by the sound of his vest going off, looking to you with wide eyes as you raised your gun and shot him again the moment his invincibility ended.

"... truce?"

"Sorry Charlie!" You barked out a laugh as you ran back to where Grizzly had been hiding, high fiving as you passed him. "All according to plan!"

...

Charlie ended up winning anyways, but considering he wound up in your hotel room that night, you thought that was the real win of the night.

[elliespuns]

one of my fav scenarios to think about is joel getting to know u as he's settling into jackson with ellie. you're this young little thing, the man has to remind himself that he's old enough to be your damn father, yet you have this way of pushing past his gruff exterior and managing to get through those heavily-laid walls he's set up. i headcanon that he started taking an interest in u from your first patrol together (which is also back when he thought he'd never have anything to do with u romantically because why the hell would a young thing like you be interested in a grizzly bear of a man like him???)

If Joel felt he was falling for someone way younger than him, I think his first instinct would be to create distance. He might become grumpy and less communicative. Shorter sentences, avoiding eye contact, finding excuses to partner with other people on patrols. He'd subconsciously be trying to nip it in the bud before the feelings get any stronger. He'd be easily annoyed by things that wouldn't normally bother him. This would be a deflection tactic. You might find him snapping at people, including you (though likely not with the same intensity as he would with someone he truly disliked). He'd probably start making self-deprecating jokes about his age—like a way of testing the waters, seeing how you react, but also a way of reinforcing his own belief that a relationship with someone like you is impossible.

He'd be constantly battling with himself. He'd be going over the logic of why this is a bad idea: the age difference, his baggage, the inherent danger of the world you live in and the people of Jackson (gossips, allright). He'd try to convince himself that his feelings are just a result of loneliness. But he would definitely be watching you and seeing how you interact with others.

As his feelings would intensify, he might subtly try to guide you, offering advice, sharing his experience, trying to ensure you make smart decisions on patrols. This is partly genuine concern for your well-being, and partly a way of proving to himself (and maybe you) that he has something valuable to offer. He'd start letting little things slip. A shared story from his past, a glimpse of his softer side. He'd still be guarded, but the walls would be slightly lower. This is a huge step for Joel.

And as romantic at heart as this man truly is... even if you make it clear you're interested, he'd be hesitant. He would still be skeptical. He might even push you away at first. "You don't know what you want" or "This isn't a good idea" would be something he might say. He needs to be absolutely sure you understand the risks and the implications before he even considers pursuing anything.

If you persist, he'd eventually have a brutally honest conversation with you. He'd lay all his cards on the table; his past, his fears, his flaws, the reasons why this might not work. He needs you to see him for who he really is. He'd be hyper-aware of the power dynamic and would want to make sure you're always comfortable and in control. He'd be incredibly respectful of your boundaries.

Once this man commits, he's all in. He'd be fiercely loyal and protective, willing to do anything for you. He would be the most dependable partner you could ask for.

[lets-get-kraken-boys]

*in Patrick’s voice* I have an idea! Bakugou changing from being the #1 morning person to ever grace this planet to a grumbling, snuggly mess who won’t let you free from his strong hold because of your influence on him.

Bakugou is 100% the type to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to fulfill his whole morning routine. Call him a creature of habit because he wont feel like he’s even a real person until he completes every step with flawless ease. This includes, but is not limited to, his brutal morning workout, whipping up a quick protein shake, and browsing the headlines of the news. Like, it’s not a question for him to be alive and exist coherently without complaint at that time of day—he’s just gotten used to it after committing to the idea of getting the most out of his day for so many years. Comes with striving to be the best, you suppose. Still couldn’t wrap your head around why it feels right for him to be doing pushups with over a hundred and fifty pound strapped on his back at SIX AM, but nonetheless. Many times you’d have only just shuffled out of your shared bed, blanket swaddled tightly around the lower half of your face in an attempt to keep the delicious heat generated from your sleeping body around you, and you’d see him sitting on the couch, ankle crossed over his other knee, midnight black blend coffee in hand as he’s reading a novel. He’d zing out any number of snarky one liners he’s got in his back pocket with a knowing smirk, before getting up to give you a loving kiss on your frazzled hairline and pulling you close into his sturdy arms, swaying you back and forth to an imaginary song playing for only you two.

When you guys first started dating and staying at each other’s places, it actually used to annoy him how long you’d “sleep your day away” (you literally wake up around 10AM on your days off. Like, come on, Kats). Day in and day out, he’d grumble as he watches a nearby clock inch to 9AM, wait for a couple minutes to see if you changed your habits (unlikely), and stood with a heavy sigh. He trudged on over to the bed you’d only just snuggled in a few hours ago, shaking your shoulder with a gentler voice he reserved only for you to hear in the privacy of your home. Thankfully, he learned from his mother that if you wake someone up not by their own choice, you either reap what you sow and face the wrath of the sleeping bear, or you appease their fury with a gift. So, before you’d ever get angry enough to rip him in two (which he’s sure you’d be able to do, given enough incentive), he presents you with your favorite breakfast in bed to start your day.

After all that, I need to make a correction. I should say he WAS the type of guy to do all that.

Now, Bakugou’s a changed man. For better? For worse? You’ll have to decide that, because you’re currently stuck underneath the mountain of muscle you deem your husband.

Bakugou’s now a member of the eepy seepy honk shoo mimi club after all your years of “bad influence” on him. You’d swear he’s a grizzly bear from how long he sleeps in! He used to be the one waking you up with you grumbling unhappily about the intrusion—which used to end in him starting a war with tickles as his artillery and raspberries as his ammunition being blown into your cheeks and tummy until you were laughing so hard it warranted gasping for air. Now, you’re the one smacking his broad, and totally not distracting, shoulders in an attempt to wake the sleeping hulk of a man currently sinking deeper into your embrace. Throughout your pleads for him to get up or at least get off of you, he just buries his cute button nose into the dip of your warm neck.

Usually, two negatives equal a positive, but if the “right” positive in this situation was supposed to equal one of you taking responsibility to wake the other up on time…

Welp…we failed that test.

He really only grumpily rolls off of you when you threaten to murder him if he makes you wait to use the bathroom any longer. Even then he doesn’t let you stray far. He blearily opens his crimson eyes the tiniest sliver with a deep, gravely groan of displeasure. He watches as you stand up, lean back until you hear a satisfying crack your back, and make your way to the restroom. You’ll the feel a tug at your wrinkled sleep attire as he’s now standing behind you. One hand is occupied gripping your outfit between his pointer finger and thumb, his other hand clutching your cozy down comforter blanket draped over his head, eyes draped shut once again, and a displeased pout stitched over his gorgeous facial features.

You’d have killed someone to get a picture on your phone of him right now to treasure forever, if you weren’t currently dealing with the dilemma of nearly pissing your pants at the moment. So, snapping delectable blackmail pictures of your man will have to wait.

He’ll shuffle close behind you as you make your way to the bathroom, reluctantly release you and allow you to shut the door on him to handle your business, and stand patiently waiting for you like a knight protecting his precious princess. Once you’re back, he’ll tilt his head down to you and leave it hanging there as if awaiting something. It hits you that the knight is waiting for his princess to repay his valiant bravery of watching over your chambers with a sweet kiss. You’ll giggle, and stand up tall to place a loving peck to his hairline just like the many he used to place on your weary bedhead in not too long ago. A pleasant, soft expression dispels the crease that used to invade his pinched brows. You could almost imagine the silly doodle flowers dancing around his head as Bakugou relaxes into a blissful state.

You tenderly slide his rough, calloused hand into yours and lead him back to your bed. He doesn’t even have to ask or force you to lay back down to continue your cuddle session, you just automatically lay back, and lead him to rest fully on top of you again. You pet his spiky hair and he wraps his thick arms around your waist. Bakugou uses the last of his energy to drag his head up to give a quick peck to your lips, as if congratulating you on not fighting him anymore. You both will slowly slip back into a blissful sleep together entangled in the real hero of this story, your mattress.

…

Of course, racing out the door only a few hours later because you were going be late for work all the while still battling a needy husband wasn’t relaxing, but it was still totally worth it.

With Love,

Kraken 🐙