#guess who hasn't studied for (important) test!

[high-quality-assorted-chaos]

it's that time of year again! (writing fanfic instead of studying for the test i have tomorrow)(today technically)

[comicaurora]

Are you willing to make a long personal post about how Math should be presented in an educational environment or in general conversation trying to convince the other participants about its daily usage. How it can advance a person’s problem-solving skills and approach in life.

I’m really good in Mathematics. I’ve given help for my classmates and friends about Math when they are having trouble or ask for it. But I have never been convinced of its importance outside of the classroom, outside of the test papers that gives me the variables to substitute in the given equation of that test of the day.

How can Math and it’s many properties relate back to everyday life in a casual manner?

Hm. Well, as someone who hasn't had to solve an antiderivative in years, my perspective on this is that the most important and widely-applicable skill math can teach you is the stuff behind the math - mostly the muscle-memory you get from proofs.

Math is, at its core, puzzles and logic and pattern-recognition. You learn a set of tools, you practice those tools on a set of simple problems until you get a feel for them, you are presented with a bigger problem, you recall which tools best applied to problems that are shaped like this, you break the problem down using your tools and eventually reduce it to something you know how to solve.

The fact of the matter is, the tools that are specific to branches of math don't really have much widespread use outside pure mathematics, and unless you go out of your way to keep using them you're likely to lose track of them. Studying math is not going to turn you into a super-calculator-wizard who can bounce stuff off the walls at perfect angles and do six-figure arithmetic in seconds, and I think some people feel overwhelmed at the assumption that that's what's expected of them if they learn math, and some other people feel cheated when they learn that that's absolutely not going to happen, because most writers don't know math and when they tell stories with math in them their best guess is it makes you a wizard.

I think the most advanced math I've used lately was trigonometry, and that was just because I was curious about how fast my plane was traveling relative to the sun's apparent movement at my latitude. We were flying back to the US from Iceland and we'd taken off at sunset, and we had been in that sunset for at least an hour by the time I got curious how the math worked out and started estimating our latitude, the circumference of the slice of the earth at that latitude, and correspondingly how fast we were flying vs how fast it was spinning to complete a full rotation in 24 hours. But even if the math involved didn't tap into any of the higher-level stuff I'd learned post-trig, those years doing proofs and figuring out which tools applied to which geometry meant that I could use the tools and my training applying those tools to calculate what I wanted to know, and confirm that our plane was actually outflying the sun when we were at iceland latitude, but as we curved south the sun's apparent relative movement (aka the rotational speed of that latitude of the earth) slowly accelerated until we were falling behind, landing right as the sun finally set. The math involved was high school level, but if I'd been given that problem in high school it would've taken more work and more stress to figure out how the tools I had needed to be applied to the problem I was facing. The years of practice I had tackling much more complicated proofs made the diagnostic process much faster.

I saw someone once analogize studying math to lifting weights. Where am I going to use this in real life? How often will I really be faced with two dumbbells that need to be lifted in three sets of twenty? Where am I going to apply the skill of holding a heavy thing straight out to one side of my body?

You don't lift weights because lifting weights is such a valuable and widely-applicable skillset, you do it because lifting weights makes you better at lifting everything.

You don't study math because math is going to fill your daily life with concepts that you need to prove true for 1 and for n+1 given true for n, or complex solids that you need to sum an approximate volume for, or a surplus of sunset plane flights that demand you calculate a bunch of cosines. You study math because it is the skillset of making things make sense. It trains you to break a huge, incomprehensible problem down into a series of small problems you already know how to solve. It lets you reach true and correct conclusions by starting from facts and transforming them through operations that preserve truth, and correspondingly that if you reach a false conclusion from these methods, then either the methods are flawed or the initial assumption is not as true as you believed. It teaches you to put two and two together and be confident, once you've double-checked your work, that you can say four.

This is stuff I use all the time in both my video research and my freeform writing. Building out a slow picture of how a story was told or changed over time involves finding the context it was created in, and reverse-engineering what parts of that context could have produced what standout portions of the story - what authorial or cultural bias results in this standout story element. Worldbuilding where I take two wildly disparate parts of the world, put them together and see what web of implications springs out of combining them, following the threads to new and interesting concepts that follow from what I've already established. Building a character arc by breaking down exactly what events are happening to them and what transformation each component will apply to the underlying character. If I want the story to go in a certain direction, what transformations do I need to apply to make that happen while still preserving truth? If I'm faced with a seemingly insurmountable problem, what methods can I use to break it down into bite-sized pieces?

This isn't something I think about most of the time. It's just how my brain works at this point, and I can't promise it'd work for anyone else. But thanks to all my years of hard work and training, my brain has been buff enough to solve every problem I've tangled with since graduation, and that feels pretty good.

[pikabysss]

I've thought of a concept of a mainly Resident Evil 4 AU like... similar to a vampire AU but not quite. Some kind of Castlevania-ish AU (in a similar setting with similar rules to the universe of Castlevania. With vampires, but also a lot of other kinds of monsters and fantastical races.) It'd be like some kind of Serennedy focused AU, so I decided to design them both first.

Here they are! There's colours for once :0.

Also, I've written down some of the worldbuilding for that AU if you want more context and information. It's a WIP still, so not everything is perfectly set in stone. But, if I had the mental energy, was better with time management, and was able to concentrate on my writing for more than ten minutes, I would have totally already started a fic about it. So, there's still a lot of stuff here:

Leon is a vampire/monster hunter (for obvious reason), and he is sent on a mission to save an important governor's daughter (Ashley Graham) who got captured by Lord Saddler (who is a vampire almost on the same importance of Dracula in this universe.) Luis is a dark chemist who has a lot of forbidden knowledge with science and magic. He wasn't liked in the village, but Lord Saddler admired him for his intellectual prowess, and, well, it pretty much follows canon. But it's more of a mix of fantasy and sci-fi, unlike og RE 4, which is mostly just sci-fi with the parasite stuff. Luis learns how to turn humans into monsters but also reanimate dead bodies (making Frankenstein or zombies), but he's obviously not pleased by the result. He's not capable of creating vampires, tho. Saddlers, being a vampire lord, can turn other people into vampires, and he turned Mendez and Salazar into ones. He doesn't turn too many people into vampires since they have more free wills than, like, zombies and can't control their darkened souls as well. But the fact that, if vampires go out of the village, they would most likely be killed by the hunters, Saddler can emotionally manipulate them to work for him.

Leon eventually gets bitten by Saddler and is about to become a vampire. Obviously, becoming a vampire means he'd lost everything all over again, but, most importantly, for him, his humanity. This happens before he finds Luis. Luis, at that point, wants to change his way of living and repents for his sins, so he decides to help Leon. When he discovers that Leon got bitten, he's enthralled to study him and try to find a cure... Leon accepts being his test subject, but Luis needs to help Leon get back the governor's daughter first. (Which he hasn't found yet.) And so, they go on their... horror adventure. By the way, Luis is not a vampire, and it's difficult for vampires to control their bloodthirsty impulse, so Luis must keep distances with them. He made a deal with Saddlers to help him, but to not get bitten in exchange. But, since he works so close with Leon and that the latter can't be really ordered around by Saddlers because of his rebellious nature and free will, well... if he turns into a vampire... It'd get dangerous for Luis... and Ada, because Ada is a huntress and it'd be more Leon that would be in trouble if she found out about him becoming a vampire. :/

I didn't think much of Wesker's and friends' role in the AU yet, but it's a work in progress.... The time period is between 1700 and 1900, but it's still a fantastical world, so some anachronistic elements or mixing of time period can be found. Sorry, history fanatics. *^*

I'm keeping this here so I won't lose the idea in the near future. (Unrelated, but now that I think of it, RE is a series that takes a lot of inspiration from old monsters (or horror, I guess) movies, just like Castlevania.... no wonders, I'm a fan of the two. And no wonders, both series are getting in Dead by Daylight. Jeebus Chris, the Dead by Daylight team it so wise on their IP choices. :/ I'll try not to get caught into their marketing, but I won't deny that they're wise and that they already almost caught me as if I was some kind of pokémon.)

[shinra-makonoid]

I read those replies about risks of HRT, and it's interesting how one of those studies says "we actually need to study this more", but that person drew a conclusion that "HRT is definitely causing this".

It is annoying. Cofounding factors are a real tricky bit in regards to studies and that person just... Imagine they can know more of them than researchers.

It's in the notes of this post:

Even I kinda go rough when I say "yeah T raises risk for CVD" considering that, as the study says, trans men are smoking more, exercising less, having more anxiety etc than the general population. And despite the rising risks for CVD, mortality stays the same.

I agree there is still a lot we don't know about HRT, I agree we should research it more. Better yet, design specific meds for us to have that are perfectly attuned to our needs. For example, now I'm at almost a full vial of T every four weeks, (0.9ml out of 1ml, it decreased with my weight), so I don't throw away that much. But at one point I was at 0.5ml every two weeks, meaning I was throwing away half a vial every two weeks, aka a complete vial every month. It was crushing me because there are shortage of those meds and I hate throwing away stuff. Had there been a specific med tailored to specific trans needs, that wouldn't have happened.

But to claim that, because the specific med wasn't approved for, specifically, trans people it means it's dangerous and that we shouldn't use it.... Is just false. We have no evidence of that, we have even less evidence that it would outweigh the benefits. That person is just taking a stance that every med used off label should just have a 30 years cohort of test to decide whether it should be used, independently of whether the people who use it really need it or not. Which, even if it were to happen, would probably not even let pharmaceutical companies take the steps to actually make a med for us because we don't bring them enough money for it.

Doctors are also not usually just morons playing with molecules, they engage their responsibility using those meds and therefore make sure it's used well, they are experts in those domains. In my country at least, if you're not an endocrinologist, a gynecologist or a few other specific specialties dealing with hormones, you can't prescribe HRT. It does mean that yes, blood tests every 6 months are important, but like, if something really bad was happening to my body, we'd know. That's also how we realized that I had a fatty liver, which led me to eat better, which led me to have healthier habits in regards to food. So like... I guess T saved my liver in my case, as it has absolutely 0 symptoms before it's too late (the liver is a stealth bastard).

And again, I could go on and on about antidepressants and antipsychotics. I wouldn't advise anyone to stop them or anything, I think sometimes they outweigh the risks, but I personally had disastrous side effects from antipsychotics (taken to treat depression and anxiety, which is not even for that normally so yeah talk about off label I think that's a bigger issue, but i was at a mental hospital and pressured to take them and all) which led to hypothyroidism and prolactin level issues for me. Those side effects are studied and known to belong to antipsychotics, and little do you know when I stopped (after suffering from massive insomnias and bad feelings, it was a real shit med for me) it vanished.

I don't understand why HRT is the main issue when it's about such a tiny number of people, hasn't shown any bad metabolic side effects (except maybe like raising bad cholesterol but it doesn't mean much, it can still very much be in normal range, i still have normal range for ex), and hasn't had any evidence of shortening lives so far. If it ever changes, then I'll change my opinion, but I really don't think we'll find in ten years that T caused people to die, every expert on the issue argues that it's probably safe.

I think it's saner to argue that, even if you have no issue whatsoever, it's important to exercise, eat well, socialize, and avoid drinking and smoking. That advice is for every single person and it will save lives, way more than stopping T will ever do.

[maria-mga2024mi5017]

Mika's Lecture - Crafting Character Personality

25/01/2025

Hi everyone! I'm quite late for this post, but this is related to all the work done in class last Wednesday (22/01/2025)

I've decided to complete my notes while reading through some articles that Mika had uploaded onto the lesson plan. I remember studying about the Archetypes during portfolio, but I might need a recap on this.

The Presentation: Who is this character?

Last Wednesday's lectures were on Character archetypes, values and contradictions in storytelling.

Before learning about the archetypes, Mika taught us about 'Character Personality'. These are the traits and quirks that define a character, making them relatable and memorable. It is important for film and animation to create characters with personality as their human like thoughts, words and actions is what resonates with the audience. Good characters help to make the plot of the film/animation memorable.

Next, we leant some basic facts about 'Carl Jung'. He was the founder of 'Analytical Psychology' and he created the theory of 'Archetypes'. Within each one of us lies a multitude of archetypal forces that shape our thoughts, emotions, and behavior in both subtle and profound ways.

Below is a classification of the 'Archetypes' -

Since we were still on the topic of 'Carl Jung', we learned a bit about the 'Model of the Psyche'. We mainly focused on learning about the 'Psyche' and one of its components called the 'Shadow'. Jung considers the 'Psyche' as a self-regulating system.

One of the components of the 'Psyche' is the 'Shadow'. The 'Shadow' can be considered as a blind spot of the Psyche since it is an enigmatic realm where our darkest fears and deepest desires reside.

These are the notes I took down during the lecture. I should note that I have modified the note after reading through some of the articles that Mika had recommended in the reading list.

Tests: Aid in creating our character profiles

During the afternoon segment of the lecture, Mika emailed us 3 tests/quizzes to take on order to aid us in creating a character profile.

I've written down separate points for each of the 3 quizzes/tests down below.

Character profile questionnaire :-

This was a form to fill about ourselves. You could get to know some information about me if you read the documents below.

2. 16 personality type tests: -

This test was to figure out our mbti/personality type. I remember taking this test back in 2020 with some of my school friends. I actually got the same results haha (Entp-t). Guess my personality hasn't changed much.

At first, I was skeptical to be considered as having the 'debater' personality type. But, I guess some of the facts about Entp resonate with me.

3. Creative Type Test: -

This was the last test we had to take for the class. The 'creative type test'. I got 'The visionary'. I guess this does resonate with me. I tend to have somewhat good idea and visuals of them. But I should search for a 'Thinker' to help me bring them to life I guess.

10-second animation of an inanimate object - review

Mika ended the lecture by going through each student's blog and presenting each students animation. We had to watch each other's animations and figure out the emotion and energy shown by the inanimate object.

For my eraser animation, I wanted to show a squishy eraser that walked in a rhythmic manner. However, most of my classmates said that the eraser had an aggressive walk to it. I guess...in a way...it does look like that? TOT

Maybe if the movements were much slower and the eraser was more bendy the walk would look more rhythmic.

Post conclusion :-

Before I conclude this post, I want to mention that I read through some of the articles that Mika had recommended in his presentations for us to learn more about the '12 archetypes'. I've also done some additional research to understand the human psyche.\

The links to these articles are down below...

https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/carl-gustav-jung/jungs-model-psyche/

Alright! That's basically it for this blog post. Thank you so much for reading :D

[no-psi-nan]

Real Answer:

I've cried about this before on here multiple times but this is my favorite line, and the one that made me an indefatigable Akechi stan:

Yeah I'll have feelings about this again, why not.

"I can still be your playmate" literally recontextualized the way I think about love hsfjdlshfks. Like. Play is such an essential part of living. Not just for humans, pretty much every animal we've ever studied turns out to engage in play when given the opportunity (feels safe, not hungry/thirsty).

And playing with others is especially important in social species! Notice how core playing is to human society: all games obviously, but also sports, gambling, a huge chunk of media dedicated to various games or using games as a base for a story, etc.

Anyways, Kusuo just hasn't gotten the opportunity to play, really play, since he was a small child. Even if those early games with Kusuke counted, they no longer did once Kusuke installed the limiters. After that, every game was tinted with the danger of basically losing his life should he lose, essentially destroying any fun that Kusuo could have gotten from it. Not at any point does Kusuo wish he could play a game with his brother again – it's something he would rather avoid at all costs.

And we can see that Kusuo does not really know how to play on his own either. When left to his own devices, he only reads/watches/plays shitty/obscure media, watches live TV, or stares at the ceiling. His powers prohibit him from doing a lot of things, and if he's up to anything else, it's usually training to improve his control (like when he threw a baseball back and forth a billion times to get better at it).

So when Akechi comes up with a game for Kusuo to play, it's actually groundbreaking. Especially because Akechi purposely does not place any limits on Kusuo in order to do it! That's HUGE!

Kusuke ALWAYS tries to limit Kusuo when they play, handicapping Kusuo in London with a GPS tracker and 2 friends to limit his power use, and using Toritsuka as a hostage during the Cat Tank arc (and there's no way Kusuke didn't shoot at Toritsuka directly multiple times to make Kusuo take the hit). The only time Kusuke doesn't handicap Kusuo is for the fireworks "birthday surprise", but that was explicitly because he was testing the limits of Kusuo's powers to adjust the Cat Tank.

On the other hand, Akechi doesn't put any limits on what Kusuo could do to play, and in fact, watches him obviously using his powers (specifically clairvoyance and distance telepathy). To him, Kusuo using his powers is not cheating, because Kusuo's powers are as much a part of him as his hands or eyes.

The wording of Akechi's comment in the first panel, "I guess [...] I'm still better than you when it comes to betting on horse races", and then "It seems there may still be plenty of things we can go head to head in", shows that Akechi didn't actually know whether he would be able to provide Kusuo with a challenge. And that he's happy he can! Because it means that he and Kusuo can play together!

And tbh, Akechi himself probably has trouble finding people who can keep up with him in games. He mentions in the same chapter that he doesn't have any friends and isn't even sure what social people do for fun, rip.

So anyways, it just really hit me that the ability to be playmates is so important for a deep personal relationship. Like if you can't feel safe enough to relax and be silly and vulnerable, and try new and different things together, how good is that relationship really, y'know??

Yeah. That line gets me every time lol.

Stupid Answer:

Love that he's trying so hard to take the conversation away from anything that could mess up the manga rating but as soon as someone makes an incorrect statement about dick, he immediately has to correct them with penis ethnography. We stan this pan king lmao.

My special interest is cock and brother, I'm about to start info-dumping.

[idkanametoputhere]

Deadlines

riddle × overworked!prefect

pronouns: they/them

type: angst

warnings: the reader is literally having a mental breakdown bc of academic stuff (damn they just like me for real)

masterlist<3

let's play a game, shall we? u just gotta answer the question with one of the possible answers below. easy enough, now let's see:

what do you think happens when you put an over-achieving, ex-gifted kid who needs academic validation in a world that they know something about? do they:

a) handle it rationally

b) give up

or c) overwork themselves to the point of neglecting their mental health in order to try and get good grades

if you guessed "c" then ding ding ding! congratulations! you were correct

you see, our beloved ramshackle prefect just so happened to be a gifted kid growing up. they grew up as the kid teachers wanted to have in their class. the kid who easily understood all the class material. the kid who never even got close to failing a test or an exam

they were an honors student in every way possible

which is why being transferred to a new world, completely different from theirs was less than ideal for them

a new world, new lessons, new teachers, new students, new everything. it was like a punch in the gut for them

they spent day in and day out with their nose in a school textbook, trying to understand the material, trying to be at the top of their class, trying to get that close-to-perfect grade on their paper

but it was impossible

you see, being in a new world really messes one up, everything they thought they knew was turned upside down

it was weird, and it sucked for them

but it's not all bad, you know, they made some friends here

like riddle rosehearts for example

with whom they got really close

who also happened to be very interested in their test results..

and just so happened to be dissatisfied with his friend's results..?

uh oh

"prefect I just believe that you could do better. I am aware of how clever you are, but I don't think you are trying enough for it to be shown"

two periods, they only needed around 5 seconds to leave one's mouth and reach the other's ears

but it was enough

oh trust me, it was enough

that was all the prefect needed for their self esteem to crumble. they felt like the earth had been lost from underneath their legs. the one thing they never wanted to hear was told to them , not only by someone they admired, but by a friend

and trust me, it was what broke the camel's back. it was all that was needed

now let's take a look at our prefect nowadays, shall we?

the prefect was in the library, in a more secluded part of it where almost no one went. there were textbooks and notebooks spread on the table in front if them, while others were laying on the floor and on some chairs next to them

in storms the housewarden of heartsylabyul, who was looking for his friend after they missed yet another unbirthday party

"prefect you are still here?" said riddle as he saw the hunched prefect. they didn't even look up at him when answering with a simple humm, a small way of saying "yeah"

"you should take a break. studying is very important, but you shouldn't overdo it" said riddle (you know, like a hypocrite, as if he hasn't been doing the same thing from the prime age of five)

"no no yeah, I just gotta finish this paper and then do a quick essay on mr trein's latest subject, I'll be done by curfew time, I promise"

"prefect, I really do think you should take a break"

"riddle it's fine" said the prefect and you could feel the annoyance starting to appear

"prefect" he replied coldly, it was more like a warning to be honest. they didn't reply, leaving him with only one option, take their books

"hey! what are you doing? give it back!" said the prefect, finally looking up to him. he could see the redness in their eyes and the dark circles under them, both signs of their sleepless nights, and they had more acne on their face, a zign of their anxiety

"prefect you need to take a break"

"no! give it back"

"I'm sorry prefect but it is better for you"

"give it back!" they yelled, slamming the table with the hand that was once peacefully rating on it, as the first tear started to roll down their cheek

"prefect..?" asked riddle in a low voice, slowly getting the book closer to its owner, who was now full on crying

"please give it back" they said quietly, taking shaky and loud breaths. "please"

the desperation in their voice was almost enough to let the so called "red rose tyrant" give the book to them, but he didnt

"prefect are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concerned as he slowly brought out his hand to put it on the prefect's shoulder. trey did that to him whenever he was crying, it brought him comfort. the prefect though, flinched, making him retreat

"I need the books" they started saying, rubbing their nose with one of their sleeves. "this is due to tomorrow, I still have ten more assignments to do and I can't understand what the fuck we do in crewel's class!" they said quickly, voice speeding up from how much they wanted to say

"and I don't understand even half of it! what are all these plants? we dont have all this back home!" they said, throwing their head back as they were speaking

"and, and it's my fault for not saying that I can't understand the material, but I'm scared!" they said. they were very lucky that the library was almost empty at this hour

"scared?" repeated riddle. "scared! I'll disappoint all the teachers! I'm supposed to be smart, I'm supposed to understand stuff like this very easily" they said, slapping their thigh while doing so, a bad habit of theirs that they had when they were very anxious

"and they all think I'm stupid!" they said, more tears falling down their face. this saying left riddle shocked. why would they think that? they were almost a genius from his prespective

"no you're not" he said. if you couldn't tell comforting isn't really his thing. "yeas I am. I get stuck in the simplest of exercises, I can't understand what I'm reading and I'm struggling to get even the most basic things!" they said

seeing his friend be so anxious was very sad for riddle, but seeing them cry so hard that they could barely breath because of something as simple as two or three numbers on a paper was what broke his heart

and the worst part?

he couldn't do anything to help them

they were drowning right in front of him, and he couldn't save them

the only thing he coukd do is watch them as they were crying and rambling about their stressful deadlines

idk might do a part two if I need comfort or if my next mental breakdown is soon enough

[beck-a-leck]

I'm gonna vent for a hot minute about work frustrations. I just need to shout into the void.

Feel more than free to ignore this.

🙃🙃🙃

So.

I got a new job. I am leaving my current job on May 12. I have, for the last 6 years, been the primary analyst for about a dozen titrations, most of which were only run a couple times a year, but 5 of them are high volume tests.

I have been telling my manager, for Years at this point, that it is important we get back ups trained in my big methods. For times when I go on vacation, take a work trip, get sick, or find a new job. My manager continued to drag her feet and hem and haw about who should be trained on what. A few times I got someone trained, and then they left a month later. And more than once the available people were just bumblefucking incompetent and couldn't grasp the goddamned basic Follow the Recpie steps of the methods.

It is now officially Panic Train crunch time. I have 5 full working days left here before I leave forever.

I have spent every goddamned day this week, and a good portion of last week trying to train one (1) person on a single basic ass test method.

She is:

1. Already technically trained on the method, this is a refresher for something she hasn't done in 7 years

2. Someone who has been in our work group longer than I have and has, along with everyone else, had to use the same goddamned electronic notebooking program we all have been using for the last 2 years.

You will NEVER GUESS what she doesn't know how to fucking use! The gmp notebooking program that she has been using for all of her other work!

I will give her all of the allowances for refreshing herself on a method she hasn't done in almost a decade. I will give her all of the allowances for the method-specific quirks of the notebooking software.

We have, over the last 4 months, made an effort to regularly shadow-train-supervised run on this method. She should get this by now. We've done intensive training, all hands on for her, over the last week. And I am STILL having to coach her on software basics and it it driving me absolutely Bananas.

And I'm getting testy about it because we are officially out of leisure time and I need to cram in 6 methods' worth of training over 2 weeks and I don't have time to be nice about things anymore. I've repeated myself 500 times we don't have fucking time for me to be nice.

And the person I'm training is stressed out and she doesn't even WANT to do this, but she has to. Alongside all of her other work so she can train my replacement in a few weeks. So she's being extra reticent about it all.

Plus I have to train other people on other methods. And there is literally no fucking time for people to be bumblefucking their way through goddamned lab work basics that I Shouldn't need to be teaching them at this point but here we are!

I am also, on top of everything else, trying to wrote up comprehensive step-by-step guides for How to work the Titrator Softwares, to leave something of my 7+years of experience behind for others. I am doing this At The Request of the people I am training. I spent 4 hours putting together one guide already. With pictures. And sent it to her days before we were supposed to start training. So she would have time to read it and study (again AT HER REQUEST) AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK AT IT ONCE.

I am losing my goddamned mind. I am stressed out. I am not sleeping well. I am busy beyond all reason, and there is just too much bullshit for me to handle with a smile on my face.

And I know it's not fair at all for me to expect someone to immediately pick up on everything I have spent 40hrs/week for the last 7+ years doing flawlessly. But we are so far beyond "this is the learning curve" to "this is straight up reticent incompetence" and I can't fucking fix that. Like this is sink or swim crunch time and I CANNOT STILL be holding people's hands as they stand on the top step of the pool.

The only thing keeping my hubris in check right now is the fact that I know for sure I will be the person bumblefucking my way through a new lab and a new set of methods on a few weeks, and my trainers will likely be shouting into the void about me too.

[cinaminho]

Stray Mafia: You Push them away ,, 4/7

╰ Group: StrayKids

╰ Genre: Slight angst,, slight fluff

╰ warnings: All regular members are not in here,, Not in Order ,, not proof read

Request - Could you do a stray kids mafia scenario where their S/O has a break down and begins to push them away, kind of closing up? I LOVE YOU!!

Plot - just a week away from your wedding, Spoiler; next scenario you begin distancing yourself away from him, naturally a bunch of scenarios come to mind as to why you're suddenly acting this way again, are you sick , maybe? Just in a bad mood? It could be a number of things, but trust, your mafia companion will get to the bottom of it. How does he do so and how does he react to this behavior?

They became too long and I ran out of space,I don't feel like switching to my tablet, so I kept my favorite written ones, cool with you? Mmk.

Chan:

He'd be one to try and talk to you making frequent attempts. Now that'd you admitted your love for each other and your big day was no longer far enough to call off , there was no way he was going to let you close up now. Whatever it was you'd fight through it together , that's what he told himself and you. Now obviously, he knew something was wrong but was it so deeply bothering you that you tore through half the house out of anger? When he stepped inside your shared home to see the ransacked place he didn't hesitate to pull a gun from his jacket pocket, slowing trailing through every inch of the house eventually making his way up stairs where he finds you, hobbled on the window seat of the bedroom, the veins on the side of your head visible, shortened rigid breathing was heard, your hands with war scars on them. He'd drop his gun to race over and sit in front of you, cupping your face bombarding you with questions, but all he got was small hiccups, cries, and tears.

"Y/n, what happened, who came In here, did they attack you?!"

His questions would come a mile a minute. You'd simply shake your head. He'd sigh out of relief that he didn't have to kill someone tonight. After studying your face he'd realize that it wasn't mafia related at all. This was something more personal.

"This has nothing to to do with me or the mafia, you're dealing with something else, Yeah?" With nothing as a response again he'd have his answer, carressing your cheek he'd give you an apologetic look.

"We'll get through this, I don't know exactly what's wrong but neither of us are leaving this spot until I do."

Changbin:

Was at a stand still on what to do. He was one to handle his personal business with you on his own, no one outside of you two needed to know what went on between you two but this was one time he went to his leader or another member of the gang that he trusted, most had a S/O themselves so of course they should know, right? He'd be pacing back in forth in Chan's office voicing his concerns about you while Chan, like the amazing leader he was would just listen, he liked that they just weren't a vicious gang of strangers, but a family that could voice their worries to each other. Once he was able to come up with a solution he'd come home ready to get things back on track. He walked through the door to see you dragging your feet down the hallway back towards the living room , he'd be cautious in his approach.

"Your legs are working again are they? This us the first time I've seen you downstairs in 2 days, the chef had to bring you your food." He tried with some light humor though he wasn't one for jokes.

You just looked back at him blankly before heading towards the couch. Changbin bit his bottom lip letting out an inward heavy sigh, he was having enough of this no communication, he was trying to be a good fiancee, his temper could only stay at bay for so long.

"Y/n , I don't care where or when you tell me what's wrong it can be before or after the wedding, but When our wedding day actually comes so help me GOD, if this is the attitude you will display your part of our honeymoon will be spent between four brick cement walls!"

Normally his threats might've scared the dog crap out of you but you felt light like you had nothing to lose. You ignored him as you sat down flipping through a magazine, Changbin's eye twitched at the lack of attention you were giving him and his concern for you. He took short strides towards you snatching the book from you and flinging it somewhere, you winced as you got a papercut in the mist. You looked at your index finger then to him.

"You gave me a paper cut you idiot!" You semi yelled.

"That's what gets you to talk to me? Well maybe you should have a few more."

"I'M JUST NOT FEELING WELL , DUMB ASS, WE ALL GET IN THESE MOODS, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW!" Your tone was steady and vicious as your temper boiled over.

Changbin cocked an eyebrow up at you. "That's the most weak excuse I've ever heard for such behavior."

You looked down at your ring twisting it on your finger realizing that maybe you had just been being a bit rude, Changbin had finally given into you and you treated him like this. He tilted his head to the side using his index finger to rub the throbbing vein in the middle of his forehead.

"Tell you what , lovely , you stay here and you figure out how to approach this situation better, I have other things to do rather than deal with a bratty fiancee at the moment."

Hyunjin:

It hurt him, oh yes it did. Understanding that you two had a few rough patches he thought you needed distance, that meant a day to a week which he gave you but not an entire month almost, the unthinkable was peaking into his thoughts, pestering with his state of mind. You had become an huge white cloud over his usually Grey one in this underground world that seemed to have no end, letting you slip away wasn't an option for him , he couldn't put it off any longer, all short conversations, lack of affectionate words and actions towards one another, the person he'd come to just to laugh and feel normal again for a few hours, that was all slipping past his finger tips as of now. He'd fight for it before anything else became an option , Hyunjin approached you more timidly after putting up a front pretending that it wasn't bothering him as much as it did, he was afraid of what actually was wrong praying it wouldn't be something you two couldn't fix.

After you came back from cake testing being that was all you were up for simply because sweets were involved, you closed the door ready to hang up your coat on the rack attached to the wall just to slightly be surprised by Hyunjin leaning his back against the wall, arms crossed and eyes boring into yours.

"Did you enjoy the testing?" He asked, voice more bland and emotionless.

You pondered on why he was there before answering his question.

"Uh huh, it was good I think I found the flavor for our I cake." You mumbled turning away and heading for the grand staircase. You felt Hyunjin was following as you picked up your pace towards the stairs. He knew you were trying to get away from him which hurt more. He tried to mask his pain with a casual response.

"Oh yeah, now you can put in the order."

You just hummed as you got to the top of the stairs.

"Are you second guessing the wedding...... Marrying me?" The last two words of Hyunjin's sentence came out relatively softer, he didn't say them too loud hoping you couldn't hear him and give him an answer just in case it burned.

You rolled your eyes tears started brimming at the gates ready to be released so you blinked rapidly shooing them away inhaling and exhaling before you turned to sit at the top of the steps.

Your mouth opened and Hyunjin's eyes were hopeful. "No No not at all, I'm just thinking..." You trailed off.

Hyunjin couldn't take much more suspense. "Is this about the life style you were dragged into because I was dragged into this really as well, it hasn't and won't interfere with us, I promise." His tone was desperate and determined.

You looked anywhere but at him as your eyes on eyes once again stung the flood gates opened freely you quickly shot your hands up to your face hiding it from view as you stiffled in the loud cries you so desperately wanted to let go of as your body Shook. He didn't hesitate to rush up the steps to you.

"What if we don't feel the way we do now about each other when the knot is officially tied? That's when the real trials begin." Your shakey voice faded in and out as you spoke.

"That's what you're worry about? Y/n I absolutely doubt that'd be a problem you love me just as much as I love you , right?"

You wiped the corner of your eyes and nodded. Hyunjin put a comforting hand on your knee as he sat a step below you.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd voice your concerns to me I was going insane not knowing what was going on in your mind , sunshine ." He chuckled.

"I apologize." You mumbled. Hyunjin simply layed his head on your knew, you took that as a sign to rub your fingers through his hair he sighed in enjoyment.

"Don't mention it. We'll make this work, I know it and so should you."

Minho:

NOT that rational. He thought you were cheating... With an "enemy" at that. You'd been distant, phone calls you'd had would be out of ear shot you'd also tell him it was no one important when he asked. Definitely meant you were cheating, right? Of course when was this boy ever wrong, he's in the mafia so of course he'd have his way to find out and so when you were indeed meeting with someone else and lying he was boiling. He decided to shut you out as well it was a game made for two. So while you two sat down at the dinner table meant for at least twelve people on opposite ends, only utensils heard hitting against plates or tables, a few sighs in between and stolen glances when the other's head was down the tension was so uncomfortable but you didn't feel like speaking, it's not like you trusted your voice anyway.

Minho harshly cut through his steak getting angrier picturing himself using it to dig into someone's flesh instead instead of his dinner infront of him, you looked up looking at the rapid pace he was cutting through the food.

"Minho the food isn't your enemy." You mumbled.

"You're right apparently my fiancee is." He spat back.

Your head shot up and you shot him a glare. "Um. How am I your enemy?" That question was the light to the fuse. He snapped.

He sprung up from his seat causing the chair to topple backwards, his next move proved his rage with one swipe of his arm the table and flew into the scream colored walls splattering. You just sat with your jaw slacking open, what had gotten into him?

"You really must take me for a fool, Y/n." Minho let out a bitter chuckle as he clenched his jaw. Your brows knitted into one staring at him as you stood up.

"What're you talking about?!"

"The secret phone calls, leaving the house making sure to lose my guards when they followed you, lying about who you were with!" He started naming off things that you'd done.

"Oh my-- well who in the heck knew a member of the mafia could be such an insecure jackass!"

Minho stomped towards you meeting you face to face with a warning finger out reached. "You better watch how you talk to me, you're on thin ice, very thin ice!"

"Well then LET ME BREAK IT. You wanna know who I've been with?" You challenged.

Minho let out a sarcastic laugh "as if I don't already know, like you said, I'm a member of the mafia, so you're with an Ikonic now?"

Your eyes dialated in either that's what he thought you were up to? You were having trouble wrapping your head around it all.

"What? No! You clueless jerk, Song and I have been friends and one of his own members were in critical condition he wanted me to comfort him! He knew your gang and his weren't on the best terms so he ask me not to tell you to avoid either of us getting in trouble!" Furious hot tears ran down your cheeks you hated feeling so small against him.

"I don't think that was a good idea!" He yelled back with just as much force.

"Look Minho, I'm sorry, I am I should've told you but would you have let me-"

"Absolutely not." He quickly answered already knowing the question.

"Exactly why I didn't tell you, I'm not cheating you imbecile." You groaned while wiped your tears away.

"But you lied. What do expect me to think when yoe hide things from me and pushing me away everytime I ask a question?" He shrugged not caring to admit he was wrong as well.

"I'm sorry but it was for a good cause."

"Disagree." He simply replied. He looked back at the mess he made , he whined. "Look what I did because I was afraid I was losing you, Y/n."

You stifled a giggle but he caught it. He smiled softly palming the back of your head and bringing his lips to your forhead before kissing the remaining tear droplets away.

-

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Others will be added in the second half :)

[janisurstemostrespectedtrade]

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[whimsical-ness]

unfortunately,,, I am not taking care of myself atm. I'm only in high school and I have an ap mock exam for world history in two days so guess who's making four quizlets, neglecting other classes, and hasn't slept for the past two days (and probably won't tonight). WAIT SHIT NO I GOTTA TONIGHT I HAVE STANDARDIZED TESTS TOMORROW UGH well I guess this is the end of mom anon. someone pls nag this lovely human to take care bc I apparently am going to die very early - mom anon

listen mom anon, YOU GOT THIS. i believe in you, and the fact that you’re working so hard means that you’re gonna do well. just remember to step back and take a breather when it all gets too much, because when ur stressed its even harder to focus on studying!! so take some time to yourself, go meet some friends, watch a tv show, or do something that’ll help u unwind too :)

studying is undoubtedly important, but health comes first so pay attention to it before anything else! <3

[axe-trio-commanders]

And finally, third of the axe trio, Enkkioh, an asuran warrior, weilding a rifle (2-handed), or sword (main hand) and axe (offhand).

Enkkioh is, has been, and hopes to forever be a proud member of the vigil. Though she was never a terrible student, studying synergetics under Zojja, she'd also become friends with a rather... incredibly lost charr cub as a progeny. Between the two of them, she taught her friend what she knew to help her friend learn engineering- and her friend, in turn, taught her the valuble lesson that it is much less fun to debate with the inquest than it was to just... punch them. Though she'd still pass her classes, she rather soon began focusing on her own combat skills as she watched other asura her age excell far more than she had- and, given the opportunity to join the vigil, she took it at her first opportunity, and has never regretted it since.

Though she's lost faith in the asuran council to do... really much of anything in the way of helping anyone, Enkkioh hasn't stopped her own, more scientific pursuits- still rather intrigued by the often magical connections between living things- and she certainly isn't incompotent in inventing things in this field- she'd already been able to boast accessing another dimension (on complete accident, and she had to fight herself to the death because of it and for that reason proceeded to never attempt it again), and she's made several additions to her rifle since joining the vigil- some... rather entirely unconnected to actually being a rifle, as she's become rather convinced that the inquest will steal anything that isn't either nailed down, or attatched to a gun (and an asura who would very much like to use said gun).

This knowledge, as well as her clear pride in the vigil's values (rather than the council's), is the primary reason that she met the other two commanders.

(Hey guess what time it is again? Time for some spoilers. Mostly. Most of this isn't strict cannon but there's some HoT stuff involved so we're gonna be safe here.)

Both had at least a vague knowledge about her from their shared time in the Pact- Enkkioh generally makes herself rather hard to miss- so, after the events of Heart of Thorns, Seremnis eventually asked her to help deal with the... remaining side effects of the whole ordeal on Trahearne- initially, only a numbing agent that would work for Sylvari so the wood-ish growths could be filed down without it causing any pain- and despite not knowing who she was making it for, Enkkioh was happy enough to help- feeling that something like this would be helpful for a fair number of Sylvari, should it work- and, supervised by Zori, with Seremnis acting as a test subject (and Enkkioh learning plenty about how to ethically treat test subjects, having generally been wary of using them at all before now), it did.

Then, later, Seremnis came to ask for Enkkioh's help in getting rid of a remaining piece of Mordremoth that she'd discovered still remained in Trahearne- having already decided to keep the situation secret from Zori, as she seemed rather... occupied at the time, what with the exploding bloodstone and everything- and Enkkioh, of course, agreed; primarily because she'd already looked up to Trahearne practically since he became Pact Marshall, and still did, despite his retirement. The plan they came up with was relatively simple, to begin with- echoing the first time they defeated Mordremoth, they only needed toenter it's mind and kill it off from the inside- though, this time, using a machine of Enkkioh's creation to enter said mind in the form of a dream- which meant that, along with testing said machine, Seremnis spent a fair amount of time learning how to fight in them- in turn, learning to control her own dreams, over time becoming more lucid in them, soon bringing Canach into the mix as well, since neither had gotten the chance to directly fight Mordremoth the first time around. Still, to actually find Mordremoth, they rather soon discovered they needed to go... two layers deep- first into Trahearne's mind, and then into Mordremoth's- which meant that Enkkioh would enter with them both, and defend a second iteration of the machine, as well as both Seremnis and Canach, in the first layer, as Seremnis and Canach fought the dragon in the second- and after a... long, exhausting night, they were successful.

Enkkioh was kept in contact afterwards- occasionally joining in on fights, following with others in the Pact wherever the commanders and Destiny's edge were going, even if she rarely got directly involved with them. And, well... even at present, she never actually, officially joined Destiny's Edge. She's never, in any sense, actually been a commander (not yet, anyways- we'll see what happens in future episodes). She's an important member of the trio- specifically Seremnis, for... post-Balthazar reasons that should probably be contained in their own post that may have possibly made Enkkioh believe she now owes a debt to the commander of Elona, but... for the time being, she's simply a proud vigil soldier who tends to be in the same area they are, and just happens to have a communicator that directly contacts several members of Dragon's Watch, and just happens to be on a first name basis with both commanders.

...That, and she's just really fun to draw.