#hahah AH HA HA...

[kotoyin]

wow i'm having so much fun rping again now i'm taking it slow & steady!! <- idiot who's about to overwhelm himself by reblogging an ask meme

[bennetsbonnet]

I always think that it is at once interesting and baffling (plus perhaps a little infuriating) whenever Mr Darcy's character is reduced to 'socially anxious, awkward bean,' and his numerous character flaws are ignored, because we clearly have a canonical example of his reaction when his shortcomings are ignored by others.

In Chapter 11, when Darcy makes the cheeky comment about admiring their figures from his spot by the fire, Caroline, in response, asks how he should be punished, to which Elizabeth replies:

'Tease him—laugh at him. Intimate as you are, you must know how it is to be done.'

Obviously the little dig that Elizabeth makes at Caroline regarding her not being as close to Mr Darcy as she might believe is entirely lost on Caroline, as she immediately launches into a passionate defence of Darcy:

'But upon my honour, I do not. I do assure you that my intimacy has not yet taught me that. Tease calmness of manner and presence of mind! No, no—feel he may defy us there. And as to laughter, we will not expose ourselves, if you please, by attempting to laugh without a subject. Mr Darcy may hug himself.'

Essentially, Caroline is complimenting Darcy's calm disposition, his composure and ability to contain his emotions (which is amusing in itself because he fails miserably at both when in the presence of a lady that he is actually attracted to, i.e. Elizabeth) before she concludes that Darcy has no personality trait that could possibly laughed at.

Mr Darcy, however, doesn't allow such an opinion of him to go unchecked. He responds and explicitly accepts he isn't perfect, as he says that:

'Miss Bingley,' said he, 'has given me more credit than can be.'

Following some back-and-forth regarding Elizabeth loving a laugh and Darcy basically saying he can't possibly be overly proud because of his sUpEriOr MiNd (ha!) Caroline chimes back in with a question:

'Your examination of Mr Darcy is over, I presume,' said Miss Bingley; 'and pray what is the result?'

Elizabeth sarcastically responds:

'I am perfectly convinced by it that Mr Darcy has no defect. He owns it himself without disguise.'

And does Darcy agree with even that teasing assertion that he has absolutely no faults? No. He tells us as much; he admits that he is flawed, but he hopes his faults are not bad enough to be judged for:

'No,' said Darcy, 'I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding.

Then he proceeds to tell us what he believes to be his biggest faults which, if we were to take this dialogue at face-value, we would presumably give him credit for his self-awareness:

'My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding—certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.'

I do believe he is being as sincere as he possibly was capable of being here; at this moment, no one had ever challenged his behaviour in the way that Elizabeth eventually does.

However, everything he says is quite superficial and dismisses legitimate grievances that others may have against him. Even in this attempt to be self-aware, we see evidence of his pride; he dismisses behaviour that he finds unacceptable as 'follies and vices,' as though he sees himself above such personal shortcomings; he has a pretty self-centred viewpoint as he deems conflict as, 'offences against myself,' as though he is always the wronged party, rather than he himself ever having wounded others (which is patently wrong, given the insult he aimed at Elizabeth at the Meryton assembly); he also very much gives not like other boys energy when he says his feelings are not 'puffed about with every attempt to move them,' like he couldn't possibly be a sheep and could never be as easily persuaded into a certain course of action as someone like Bingley, which is itself implausible.

So, in showing his disdain for being portrayed as perfect and attempting to be honest about his faults, in fact Darcy further demonstrates deep personal shortcomings that he is seemingly blind to, given his pride. Which is another level of irony considering the interpretations of his character that deem him a beautiful cinnamon roll; too good for this world, too pure.

Ultimately, Mr Darcy is a complex, flawed character. He is not, in my opinion, consciously deceiving Elizabeth here. He undoubtedly possesses many positive traits which thankfully he is eventually able to be recognised for, thanks to Elizabeth's rebuke. But I think he evidently despises the type of flattery which Caroline deploys in this exchange when she acts as though he is flawless. I think Mr Darcy is capable of being self-critical (otherwise he would never have reflected upon his behaviour) to the point that even the reformed Darcy we see at the end of the novel would never believe himself to be without fault, nor would he ever make excuses for his initial behaviour towards Elizabeth.

So, if Mr Darcy himself would never allow his behaviour to be deemed faultless by others, why bother trying to make excuses for him, rather than simply accepting he was wrong in the beginning and absolutely needed to improve himself?

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - New Age AU - When Summer becomes Spring

I did it! I actually did it! I finished the scheme! @spotaus it took so long but i did it! so I have been working on this for a while! And as you can see it is New Age AU. But with a twist!!

This is not the main AU. this is like an alternative world to that AU. You people know about King!Dream version but this isn't quite that. This is more of a No!King version hihi.

Now. This is more like a one shot or a collection of multiple drabbles all set in the alternative timeline for NewAgeAU. Wtih that out of the way.

Warning! Abuse, esxual abuse, rape, technically underaged and so underaged sexual abuse. NOTHING GRAPPHIC! But it is mentioned and refered and spoken about. I just want you people to be warned just in case. Again. Nothing grapphic in that department. What else. MPreg, again mentioned and used as plotpoint but nothing specific in that way. Character deaths are also in there. Child dead.

It may be a bit of a heavy and long one woopsie. it is 35K words long haha.

*-----------------------------------------*

No one knew what had caused it.

What had gone wrong.

For both the princes, at the same time, had fallen ill.

Ccino runs through the halls as he ignores guards or other servants call out as he rushes past. He is thankful for his small build as it is easier to dodge arms and hands trying to stop him. He ignores the few people he bumps against as he rushes down the hall.

His chores had just finished, he would have preferred to not have to do them at all but no one would allow him to ask one of his few friends to do it for him as he remained with his boys.

Meaning he had rushed them and hadn’t bothered to double check. There were probably some mistakes but he doesn’t care. He needs to get to Nightmare and Dream!

He runs through the hall and the guards guarding the royal wing cross their spears. Ccino glares at them even as he is a head smaller. His breathing is hardly faster than his normal walking as he is beyond used to running “I have the right to enter and leave the royal wings.” He raises a brow as he motions towards the obvious apples adoring his clothing. The sign of his future standing and role and showcases his belonging to the royal family. It used to creep him out, it still does, but for now it has its uses.

It means that the guards let him pass as he rushes towards the right room.

He enters the large bedroom of the twins but it didn’t look in anyway like it used to. Before it would be a curious mix of sun and moon designs with two soft beds nearby and many beautiful little night lights of stars. The large windows in the perfect position to see the rising sun and a window near the ceiling to see the stars and moon at night. The large bookcase full of children books and stories that Ccino would read to the two as they sat in the large reading chair with Ccino. Easily fitting all three of them with room to spare.

Now the room was filled with people. All kinds of healers and doctors form all over the country. The twins had been laid right next to one another, separating the two seemed to unbalance their souls even more than the illness had caused.

Ccino rushes to the twins sides and feels his soul start to break all over again. Both their faces are twisted in pain. Nightmare seems to shudder with each breath, as if he can’t quite get his body to breath. Dream meanwhile is breathing fast, almost as if he is having a panic attack. Nightmare is burning up while Dream is freezing to the touch. Nightmare’s magic seems to be overcharged as Dream’s magic is almost all gone. Nightmare seems to be unable to move as Dream spasms every few seconds and had full blown seizures.

Ccino goes towards the twins and holds both of them, one hand in each of his. One hand feeling as if he is holding a fire while the other feels as if he dipped it in ice. He makes sure to keep holding on tightly to them both. “Hey there buddies…” he speaks softly. Ignoring the people around them working on trying to cure the twins.

Nightmare makes a soft noise as Dream’s eyes opens. Nightmare hadn’t been able to open his sockets himself, and when his sockets were opened for him he couldn’t make his eye lights appear to see. it scared him. Dream meanwhile could see but was unable to speak. Dream stares at him for a moment before he gives a tiny smile as he tries to wiggle a bit closer. Ccino makes sure to rub Dream’s hand with his thumb as he mutters “It is okay sweet Dream. I am here.” He makes sure that Dream heard alright and that seems the case and Dream obviously relaxes. Before his face turns to one full of pain as he shudders and whines softly, but Dream’s hand holds so tightly unto his and Ccino keeps rubbing his hand. Dream relaxes after a moment and pants quickly as Ccino focusses on Nightmare “Hey little Nightlight. I am sorry it took me so long to get here.”

Nightmare grumbles and mutters. His words slurred and not all clear “n-n-o… s-ss-orry…” he whines as he gasps to try and breath as he sweats.

Ccino hums softly to both of them as he keeps holding their hands. He wishes he could just grab both and hold them close. Like he had done for the last seven years of their shared lives. But the first time he tries to hold the twins close the doctors and healers all yelled and screamed at him. Nim had locked him out of the room of the twins for two full days and he ended up only being allowed in as the action had just distressed both twins more.

Now they had to keep it to handholding and a few soft kisses as he hums and talks to them. Hoping to offer a tiny bit of support where he can.

The door opens and Nim walks in. She stares at the scene before looking… disappointed? Annoyed? Ccino isn’t sure as he just dips his head. Making sure to show respect to the god walking this world. Nim walks over towards the healers and they get into a quiet conversation.

Ccino isn’t told what the situation is for obvious reasons. But he still wishes he knew. He still wishes someone would tell him what is wrong with his boys. What is hurting them so and how he can help them feel better.

Nim frowns as she speaks louder “What you are telling me. Is that it is no illness?”

The healer shakes as he answers, seems like even Nigel and Mar don’t have answers. And while a part, an ugly part, of Ccino finds glee and the two healers having to deal with anger from Nim. Ccino would have preferred to both be praised and complimented, because it would mean they would have cured his two.

Mar shakes as she almost sobs to answer “It isn’t anything we have ever heard of before! The magic! It isn’t normal! Something… Something is infecting the magic in them! Changing and pulling and there is no way to control it. No way to change its direction.”

Ccino acts as if he isn’t listening while in reality he pays close attention. That… Why would… Ccino thinks he knows what they are talking about. They are talking about It, aren’t they? But that doesn’t make sense. Because It had never seemed hostile. It was nice! Ccino can know as It always helped him get to place and helped him keep his balance! Why would It ever hurt the twins like this?

Nim frowns as she stares at the twins. Her eyes are cold and Ccino feels the need to hide both the boys from view but… he can’t do that. She is their mother. They both love her. He can’t come between that love. Between them. He remains seated.

Nim looks at the healer “What solutions do you have?”

Nigel looks nervous but none of the doctors answer making them have to take the front and center “A magical transfuse.”

Nim raises a brow and nods “Make it happen.” She goes to turn towards the door.

Nigel speaks up again “My liege! I apologise.” They bow before continuing to speak “We can’t just use any magic. They are young and their souls are fragile. They would need magic from a direct family member.”

Nim frowns as she watches them. Ccino however feels hope and relieve. Nim just needs to donate a bit of her magic to both the twins! It is so easy! She has more magic than anyone with her god status and both his boys would be bright and happy again!

Nim watches Nigel for a long time “And if I do not?”

Ccino’s soul feels cold as he stares. He… he understands why she never helped him or showed him mercy. He is but a dumb boy… but these are her sons. The crown princes! The long awaited and praised twins! Why… why would she… why wouldn’t she?

Nigel looks down as they speak “The only alternative is… to transfuse all of one of the two’s magic to the other.” They straighten their back “I will start with getting the procedure ready to transfer the younger twin’s magic towards our crown prince.”

Ccino is frozen. He is scared. No… no… They can’t… He glances down and realise with horror that both of them heard everything. Nightmare looks scared as he whines softly, his little hand shaking in Ccino’s own. Dream however just stares horrified. Shaking his skull and clearly trying to speak. Dream looks begging at Ccino as he keeps shaking his skull. Ccino gulps as he slowly gets up. His body shaking “Sirs…” Both look towards him. Nigel with obvious annoyance and rage as Nim just looks passive. Ccino feels his body want to run. Even so he pushes through. His boys need him. They are counting on him. Ccino focusses fully on his next sentence “They… neither of them wants this… this!” he stresses the words “Dream doesn’t want Nightmare to die to save him! Nightmare doesn’t want to die!” He can see Dream nodding as much as he can. Nightmare is breathing quickly as he clearly focusses on them. Ccino looks down and speaks “Please! Don’t do that! I beg you.” To finish off he falls to his knees as he kneels and remains in the position to either pray or beg.

Please.

Please.

A soft chuckle and even softer steps. The heat of Nim gets closer and Ccino remains begging and praying as a warm, much too hot hand, traces his cheek before making him look at Nim. Nim looks with unguarded glee at him “Oh how much you remind me of her… Just as pretty… Just as caring… Just as shining.” The hand keeps stroking his cheek and Ccino ignores the sick feeling that appears in his gut and feels it push up his throat.

Ccino finds his voice “Please… Please don’t…”

Nim giggles again as she remains staring at him gleefully “How could I say no to such pretty begging?”

Ccino feels a bit of hope return. Nim nods as she nudges him back up to his feet, a second hand strokes his other cheek and Ccino starts to feel uneasy. This… this is a new thing that has been happening ever since people declared him fourteen. Nim calling him over to her. Usually she just stares at him for a moment before sending him away again. A few times she ordered him to wear some fancy clothes and stuff. And a very few times she would do stuff like this, touching his face in some way. It feels bad… really bad…

He hides the discomfort as he waits patiently. Nim hums as she looks at healer Nigel “We will not do the procedure.” Ccino feels intense relieve and sees Dream looking a bit happier as Nightmare’s breathing calms a bit.

Nim hums as she walks towards her boys with one last stroke of Ccino’s skull. Ccino remains in place as he stands straight. He waits impatiently as Nim walks over to his boys. Just a quick boost of magic is all she needs to give them and both will be fine again! Ccino will make sure they take it easy of course. Make sure they heal and that everything truly is stable in their magic. Oh! Ccino can make them some cinnamon buns! He hopes the import of spices has arrived yet. Then he can make the best version of the nice treat! He knows it is one of Dream’s favourites and Nightmare always enjoys them as well!

Nim stands by the two small beds. She is bright and shines through the room. Nim hums “Such a shame. So much wasted time. But imperfection will just harm my legacy.”

Everything feels cold.

What?

A hand reaches down towards Nightmare first. She goes straight towards his chin. She tilts the small skull up before her hand moves down. It removes the blanket covering Nightmare and hovers over the spot of his sternum for a moment.

A loud and wet crack.

She…

She…

A moment later Nim pulls his hand back. A very small purple soul in her hand as Nightmare lays completely still. Mouth still open from his scream of pain but having gone quiet almost instantly. He shudders and shakes as Nim raises the soul high. One hand holding the purple soul she turns away from her dying son. She focusses on Dream.

Dream stares at her. Shocked and confused and… scared… Dream glances around and reaches towards him.

Ccino doesn’t think as he starts to run towards him but a hand grabs him. Ccino doesn’t bother to look around as he tugs and pushes at the hand holding his arm “No let go! Let go. Dream!” he stresses the prince’s name as he stares back. Dream is shaking as he stares at Nim with pure fear.

Nim looks at him coldly “A shame. I truly thought you would be perfect. Yet you failed me. You made me do this. You are the one who forced my hand.” Dream shakes and tries to speak but nothing leaves his mouth.

Nim holds her hand above his sternum but instead of punching her way towards the soul and breaking everything she flexes open her hand. Dream shudders and his mouth falls open in a silent scream. His sternum behind his shirt lights up bright yellow and Ccino can smell the scent of burning monster matter.

Moments later the soul is forced out of his body, having been made to burn a way out. Tears are streaming his face as he reaches towards Nim. Nim just holds the two small souls by her face. Not even looking into Dream’s direction. Dream tries to reach but his arm and hand quickly fall towards the bed. Shaking and in pain as the very thing that makes him him has been removed from him. Stolen from him.

Ccino shakes his skull but can’t find any words. The hand keeps an iron grip on him as he tugs at it. The souls… The twins need their souls and-

Nim opens her mouth which seems to rip open her cheeks and part of her neck. Much larger and sharper than ever before.

And she eats the souls.

And the twins are dust.

Ccino feels every bit of fight leave his body.

They…

They are… gone?

But…

But… what about… They were…

Nim hums and frowns “Much weaker than either should have been.” She glances back and chuckles “Oh no need to be so dramatic.” Soft steps and his face is raised to look up at her.

Oh… he had fallen to his knees… didn’t he?

Nim brushes his cheek with her thumb and Ccino sees the finger come back wet.

Oh… he is crying…

Nim chuckles again but there is a warning edge to her voice “Remember what I told you dear. Crying makes you wrinkle. You are not allowed to cry.”

Ccino wants to scream. He wants to break something. But as soon as the thoughts are there they are gone. Because it wouldn’t matter. His twins are still gone…

Ccino sobs as he shakes “Why… why… Why did you… kil-” He chokes on the word and sobs as his whole body shakes. His soul hurts. He doesn’t care if she is mad at him anymore. He doesn’t care about anything.

Please.

Please he will do anything.

Please give them back.

Nim chuckles “Oh it was needed dear. I can’t waste such a precious resource as magic. It was much better for me to take the magic that I originally given them back.” She sighs “It will complicate things as there is a schedule as for when the ritual needs to take place. But it will have to do for now.” she pats his cheek twice “Now. You go back to your room and clean up too. From now on when you are done with your chores but you are still on the clock I expect you to be in the throne room to serve me.” She straightens her back and wipes off some dust off… off her… her dress..

She is acting as if it is just some dust… and not… as if it isn’t all that is left of.. left of…

Ccino feels a guard nudge him and he raises to his feet. He bows and leaves the room. He staggers back to his room and enters.

He falls to the ground and starts sobbing as he hugs himself. They are gone.

No more bedtime stories. No more playing games. No more watching Dream proudly perform a magic trick. No more sharing good books with Nightmare. No more watching them play and joke around.

They are gone…

The only lights in this hell.

Gone…

--

Ccino still feels as if he is stuck in a haze. Or maybe like he is stuck underwater?

Three years have passed and he still misses the twins every single day. He keeps expecting to turn around and spot them in the doorway. To reach out when he is barely awake and feel them laying close for warmth and cuddles.

But each time he is forced to realise the cruel reality.

They are gone.

One of the panels on the wall shifts slightly. Showing a small hiding hole.

Ccino ignores it as he keeps walking.

He knows now what the price of It is. And Ccino regrets ever accepting It’s help.

Ccino remembers as if it is yesterday. It is the only clear day he still fully remembers. Everything else blurs together. He had been crying for hours. He had felt empty and exhausted but he had been unable to sleep…

Because he had been thinking…

Ccino continues to stare at the dark stone of the ceiling above him. His sockets still itch and hurt as he is all out of tears. He can’t… How is he even supposed to do anything now? He was… he was there for the twins… He loves them both so much. It hurts so much.

But the fear. The fear of a single thought that would not leave him.

His throat feels cry and painful after all his crying but he still whispers into his dark room “Are… Are you here? Can you… hear me?”

Nothing happens for a moment. Everything is the same as always when. The noise from outside of his room seems to disappear. Ccino isn’t sure if he is starting to see things but the ceiling itself seems to move slightly. As waves in a puddle.

Ccino struggles to speak through his dry throat “Please… Please just… just tell me… did… did you do it? Did you make them ill?” Are you the reason why they were killed?

There is no voice. No clear answer. More shifting and his door creaks a little before silence returns.

Ccino feels close to crying “Please… Did… did you make them ill? Just move anything if you did…” There is more silence and for a moment Ccino feels hopeful but then movement by his window. Ccino turns his skull and watches as the latch on it slowly unlocks. It opens and Ccino can feel the small breeze enter his room. It makes him shiver even as the air from outside is warm and dry. The scent of the warm night slowly fills his room as he sobs again.

He rolls unto his side as he hugs himself closer. Rolling up as far as he can as he starts crying all over again.

The price for this thing’s help had been the twin’s health.

Ccino is an idiot.

Nothing is ever free.

Not far from him a statue moves a tiny bit. Instead of going towards that he keeps going straight.

He stopped using It’s tunnels all together.

As effect it obviously meant that his workflow and skills seemed to worsens but he honestly doesn’t care. He does not care what others think or say about him. It doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe it never actually mattered.

The first week his work results took a nose dive people just assumed it had been as he was distracted with the loss of the twins. That he was grieving. After that they would make comments about him having gotten slower. Ccino would just lie with a straight face that this was as fast as he had always been able to go.

He was in luck. As the people in charge like to be right and amazing. They reasoned themselves into believing that Ccino had just always been slow compared to the others. And that they had been merciful and nice enough to let him go at the pace he was possible. Because even if he wasn’t the fastest anymore his quality was by far the best.

Running steps are his only warning before something, or someone, smashes into him and he falls back on the ground. He groans as his body aches with leftover burns and scratches from the day before. Luckily that is all his fall did, irritate already existing sores and pains. He looks up and tilts his skull slightly.

He hasn’t seen this person before. He looks the other over very quickly. They are a human, male maybe? They seem young as they stare with large eyes at him. He is dressed in a very basic guard uniform without any weapons and no extra markings. Not yet a cadet? Maybe a rookie? Trainee?

They are staring shocked at him with their hands raised. Seemingly unable to decide if they want to help him up or not.

That is when they glance at his face and sputter “I-! I am so sorry! Please sir! I know I should- I mean I should have watched where I was going! Please forgive me!” and he bows deeply.

Ccino immediately feels uneasy but it is to be expected. He raises a hand and gives a small smile. Trying to steer this conversation away from whatever territory it is going “It is alright. Accidents happen. No harm no foul.” He rises to his feet and makes sure no dirt remains on his clothing. He gives the other another smile “Hello. Nice to meet you. I am Ccino. Who are you?” and he waits.

The other keeps looking down with obvious shame on his face “I am Rogers. I am so terrible sorry sir. I swear I didn’t mean to.”

Ccino looks away as he rubs his arms “It is alright… and no need for sir. I don’t really…” he isn’t sure how to say what he wants. He decides to go for a slightly different approach. “Not to forget, I am pretty sure you are older. Though I will have to admit I am not the best with estimating ages for humans.” And he smiles.

The other at least seems to relax a little bit as Ccino remains calm. He still looks embarrassed and guilty but he is at least looking up “Thank you for… Thank you. I am still new and started shortly ago.” He rubs his neck as he looks down again “Still getting an basic idea for where what is and I was running late.”

Ccino needs to think for a moment “Oh! You were with the new recruits that arrived two weeks ago?” Strange that the guard already let those in training wander around. Not his responsibility luckily but still, that seems a bit early “In that case I will not keep you.” he gives his usual half bow as he continues walking down the fall. After a few steps he however stops and turns around “Oh. And Recruit Rogers?”

Rogers is still standing in the spot he was before. Looking at him curiously and waiting “Yes sir?”

Ccino ignores the title for now as he speaks “You want to go left at the first chance you get. Then go straight and you will end up at the stairs leading towards the main hall.” And he turns back to continue walking on towards his destination.

He thinks Rogers says something but he can’t quite hear it before he hears the other run towards his goal. Ccino doesn’t mind. He is used to being isolated.

Even if it got a lot worse lately.

Ccino glances into the reflection of the glass, and while he can’t see his own face quite that clearly he can see the large chain around his neck. Interwoven with his upper spine and collarbones to make it secure and a pain to remove even if he wanted to. And Ccino isn’t a big enough idiot to try and remove it. He knows the consequences.

Personally? The idea of getting molten gold casted on him to truly form fit something does not sound appealing. He will take the interwoven and slightly uncomfortable golden chains over that option any day.

Ccino doesn’t even hate the discomfort the most. It is annoying but he can handle it. No. It is what ir represents that makes him feel ill to his very soul.

Nim gifted it him when he was assumed to be sixteen. On the anniversary of him being there for nine years. When Nim made his new role perfectly clear for all to see.

Funny…

He had been so very afraid to become a toy and the first harem member for Dream that he worried about it nightly.

Yet in the end he just ended up in Nim’s harem… as the favourite no less.

Is this karma? For him having been so afraid? Had he let it influence him?

Hadn’t been losing the twins enough punishment? For being selfish and asking for help from another god? Instead of serving the god he had been supposed to?

He doesn’t know.

He just feels numb… He is so tired…

He turns another corner and gets to the right room. It is large and decorated with gold fire and large orange gemstones, the same type of gem that is in his necklace. Ccino always thought of it more as a pet collar but maybe that is just him being unthankful again.

He enters the room and glances around. Seems like he got here before Nim. That is good. Nim gets… frustrated when Ccino is late… He enters the dressing room connected to the bedroom and takes just a moment to take a deep breath.

He goes towards the vanity and gets to work on some light make up and paintings. It isn’t a lot. Just some fake magical markings like in Sanctuary. Some extra black by his sockets to make them appear bigger. Highlighting his cheekbones. He ends up staring at himself in the mirror.

He never liked seeing himself… It brought back memories that just hurt… But this past year he had been forced to look at it a lot as he got ready for evenings with Nim or when he had to go with her to places.

He is just so tired.

Ccino sighs before walking towards one of the many rows of hangers with dresses. Ccino can’t help but feel the return of his annoyance and distaste. He has started to really dislike dresses. It isn’t because he thinks they aren’t beautiful. It is just… Nim likes him to wear them. The way Nim speaks about how they look on him and showcase his best features.

It makes him feel gross.

Still he grabs one of the pink dresses. Knowing those go rather well with the orange gem as he gets dressed. Immediately feeling exposed with the open back and the cut in the side almost all the way up to his pelvis.

He truly hates it.

Even so after getting ready he sits on the bed and waits. Trying to not think about what will happen once again and trying to not panic.

It is no use to panic after all.

His mind thinks back to when he first lost his twins… the pain it brought back. He had been unable to do much but cry that first week. Unable to focus and missing them so badly. The idea to quickly get a memento of them had appeared in his mind. Just a little something to keep in his room and hug close when the grieve got too much.

He had ran towards their room the first chance he got. Hoping to maybe get Dream’s blanket or a well-loved plushie or maybe Nightmare’s favourite book.

Only to find the room completely bare. Well not completely but it had been completely transformed. Instead of the beautiful yellow and purple walls they had been a neutral light blue. Instead of the two beds with canopies decorated with tiny stars and lights, there had been one queen sized bed in brown colours. The cabinets with their toys and games replaced with a vanity. Their closets filled with their go to outfits for sleep replaced with another closet. All the drawings, the little projects, their homework that would be spread across the room and taped to the wall in their little craft corner, replaced with nothing but a carpet on the ground.

Gone… Everything about them… gone…

Ccino had just stood their frozen and when he asked anyone they had just looked at him as if he was an idiot.

“Why remember them? They are dead and failures. We only serve the living and those who matter.”

The door to the room opens and a soft coo “Oh you look beautiful as always.” Nim sounds content as she walks in. She turns away from him as she starts removing some of her jewellery. Ccino gets to his feet and walks over to undo her cape as always.

Ccino follows through the routine as he pays attention to what Nim says. Nim complains about commoners daring to approach her. Them whining about them not having enough food and needing help and care. Her being annoyed that they can’t appreciate all the works she does into keeping everything perfect!

Ccino hums and nods “It is truly a tragedy they can’t see these things like you my liege.” It had become easier to lie to Nim. Even if it felt uncomfortable, the slave contract interwoven into his being from his young age displeased with him lying to the one he is supposed to serve. It always leaves a nasty taste in his mouth and makes his tongue feel weird. But it is better than telling his honest opinions and making Nim angry.

Nim pauses and turns to him. He was never truly able to read her face with the flames of her fire elemental being. But he knows how to read her voice and her overall body language. She is pleased.

Nim strokes his cheek before holding it again. “Oh Ccino you always know just want to say.” She stares at him for a moment longer, looking pleased “You do truly remind me so much of my dear Lyra.”

That name again. She mentions this Lyra person a lot. Ccino isn’t sure who they are but it seems like they were important.

Nim hums as she takes his hand and leads it towards the bed. Ccino feels the spike of panic before letting himself zone out as best as he can. He can’t zone it all out sadly. The burn of her touch and arousal always hurts. It will always hurt. The way her magic overwhelms and scorches.

But, like always, eventually it ends. His pains still there and the sores much worse. Knowing there are new burns and black marks of where the fire touched. He knows he will need to treat those the next day and inspect his weak and fragile ecto and treat it as best as he can.

Only for it all to happen again the next day.

Even with how tired he feels he can’t fall asleep. Unable to find any comfort or rest as he lays next to the god he was forced to serve. At least until she is done with him or the end of his days.

Whichever happens first.

--

He lets Robin help him out of his complex ballgown as he tries to hide his slight excitement. Trying to play the tired and overwhelmed part.

Robin hums “You know. Our king will soon realise you aren’t actually tired when you want to leave the party.” She shoots him a look as she helps the dressing robe over his shoulders as he puts his arms into the sleeves.

Robin is one of the very few servants that still speaks to him like normal. The others all too afraid of accidentally misstepping and him telling their king that they were disrespectful. It hurts that they think of him like that. It is why he values both Robin and Rogers so much. Robin never stopped seeing him as the rookie servant that joined a little bit after she started. Robin had been helping him since the start and clearly he should have appreciated her more.

Ccino gives a shrug “It is fine. The king prefers to be alone with these parties anyway.” It gives her the chance to look for new curiosities she likes. Looking for new people she wants to keep. Ccino feels bad for making others deal with her but any moment where the focus isn’t on him is welcome.

It had been strange. Nim holding him after a night and asking him if he disliked her spending time with her harem. Ccino hadn’t been completely honest, having been honest would mean telling her he preferred her spending time with the harem. Instead he remained diplomatic and told her that he knew she was a god and that he was but mortal. That there was no way he would be able to keep up with her needs on his own. She had cooed and been so content about his answer. Even if Ccino could have done without the reward she gifted him afterwards. He hadn’t been able to move without something hurting for days.

Robin giggles “You just don’t want to be at the parties.” She grins before a small frown covers her face. She is staring at his hand and Ccino glances down, seeing a very clear burnmark stand out on his white bones. Ccino quickly tugs his sleeve to cover it. Robin doesn’t say a word but does open a drawer to grab some oils before gently applying it to the mark.

Robin whispers softly “Lets hope our king finds some to her liking. She could expend her harem.”

Ccino isn’t sure when Robins started to see the cracks in his mask. When Robin started to realise that Ccino was deeply unhappy. Maybe all that it takes to see through his lies is just spending time with him. Or maybe he is just a shit liar. Probably both… He just hopes his friend won’t do anything foolish. Robin can be quick to act.

Robin hums as she puts the dress away “Well! That is all. I assume you want to be going back to your room soon… Especially as it is a ball night.” and she has the nerve to shoot him an amused look.

Starting to think it is just his lies that are shit.

He keeps looking at her before giving a bright smile as he hums “What can I say. I am very tired.” Robin giggles but doesn’t comment on his answer as she turns back to further clean the dressing room.

“In that case! I hope you have a good night.”

She is very quick to act, and smug for that matter, and sadly very observant.

Ccino quickly flees the room before walking towards the king’s bedroom. Well technically also his he supposes but he never saw it as his, it never felt safe and secure as his old room had felt. He misses it.

Still he enters the dark room. Quiet and empty. The balcony door is open and the soft summer breeze makes the mesh curtains move in it. The moon light shines in which lights the room just enough for him to see.

Ccino closes the door behind him as he sighs in relieve. A moment without the king nearby at last. He hopes she remains at the party for a long time.

He walks over towards the small un suite dressing room and undoes his dressing robes. He drops it on the chair as he walks towards the large bed, larger than any bed has a right to be.

He lays back on it and sighs as he closes his sockets for a moment. It is peacefully quiet as he enjoys it for a moment.

A small shift and he opens his sockets to see another person hanging over him. Completely dark sockets with black tear marks. A large grin on his face. Black leather clothing.

The other grins widely “Well look at this. Here I came to steal a treasure but it seems I found the biggest treasure of all.” The other grins as he raises Ccino’s hand and kisses it “For a god your king is rather dumb to not guard her greatest treasure better.”

Ccino can’t help but snort as he grins at the other “Stop being cheeky.”

The other skeleton grins as he sits upright to make room for Ccino to sit up himself “Just being honest.” Killer shrugs as his bright soul lights up the room in a by now familiar and calming red light. Not as the flames of Nim, no, much softer and less bright. It is a comfort by now.

Ccino smiles at the other “I am happy you are here.”

Killer looks at him and grins “As if you could keep me away. The vines are so easy to climb to get in and around.”

Ccino grins as he leans closer, he can’t help the amusement in his voice “So, what will this dangerous thief do? Now that he has found himself not in the treasure room but with someone else?”

Killer grins as his arms lock around him and kisses his cheek “Pray to the gods he doesn’t believe in that the most beautiful treasure of all finds him worthy.” And he wiggles his eye brows.

Ccino laughs but pulls Kiler down to lay in the bed. Relaxing back as he lets Killer trace his body. Letting his mind, body and soul enjoy the affection and careful touches. Gentle and slow.

It is aleays slow. There is never a rush even if both know the risks. Killer never rushes these nights and Ccino needs them badly.

Ccino met Killer in town one time. When Nim had been showing off her radiance and when Ccino had been dragged outside with her. He had felt exposed and seen as he had been uncomfortable. Only for a strange but handsome skeleton to stop before him. Cheerfully introducing himself and even daring to kiss Ccino’s hand in greeting. Interesting enough though, before he did kiss his hand Killer had asked Ccino if that would be okay. Ccino had been surprised and had in shock nodded his okay.

And that had been it. Nothing else. Killer had gently held his hand before kissing the back oh so softly. Then the guards noticed the skeleton and Killer had ran away as he waved back cheerfully. Shouting about how beautiful and nice he had been. Ccino had replayed the meeting in bed that night. Over and over in his mind as he ignored the trailing hands of Nim. It had made it bearable for a while.

But that was not the only time he saw Killer, only a few days later Killer found the king’s room instead of the treasure room, it had been Killer’s first time being in this exact room. Ccino had been getting ready for the king when Killer just rolled into the room through the open window. They had stared at each other before Ccino had told him he was in the wrong wing to steal valuables. Killer had sputtered and seemed lost for words as his soul had been quickly switching between a round shape and the normal soul shape. In the end Ccino had just mentioned that he could probably just go back outside and go to the west side before finding the treasure he had been looking for.

Ccino is pretty sure that Killer had walked backwards towards the window blindly only to trip and fall out. There had been no crash as Killer had managed to catch himself but it had been close. Ccino hadn’t been able to help himself, he laughed when he heard Killer shout a quick ‘I am okay! I meant to do that!’ it had honestly made his night.

After that? Killer kept showing up. Not every night of course. But at least one time a month if not once a week. Ccino had been excited. Killer brought stories of adventure and freedom. He would describe what he had seen as they both leaned against the balcony railing. Ccino would lean close to hear every secret detail. It painted a picture of the world outside of this castle. Outside of these walls.

It wasn’t until later, almost a year after them meeting, that they got physical. Ccino won’t lie, he loves Killer. Killer had made his life bearable and gave him hope for something else, that there was hope for his life to be better. Ccino knows of course, that one day Killer will grow bored. That the excitement of fucking the king’s consort behind her back would wear off in some way. But for now Ccino greedily held unto these moments.

Even if the first time having sex with Killer had brought him regret. It had been amazing and beautiful and Ccino just felt happy and love. Only for him to realise what he had done. What this would mean for Killer. Back then Ccino had tried to break of their relationship and friendship. Break it off before Nim would realise what happened and kill Killer for it. Ccino didn’t, and still doesn’t, care that he would die for this but Ccino doesn’t want Killer to be punished for Ccino’s mistakes.

But Killer hadn’t wanted to end their nights. End the contact they had.

Which brings them to here. Two years after Ccino met Killer when Ccino had been twenty-two. A year after their secret friendship turned into a secret relationship of sorts. Both knowing that if Nim ever finds out it will mean a terrible end. But neither willing to break it quite yet.

Ccino sighs as he lays in Killer’s arms. Between Killer’s body and Killer’s soul. The warmth of it is welcome to him as he pushes his face by Killer’s collarbone and neck. Feeling content and safe and, well, happy.

Killer is purring up a storm as he holds him “I missed you.”

Ccino snorts as he pushes closer “Not like I am ever anywhere else…” the hands and arms around him tense for a moment before both arms pull him closer. Ccino frowns as he kisses the sternum he is laying against “Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring the mood down.”

Killer just holds him “Please… don’t apologise. It is okay.” a moment of silence “Oh wait! I got you a gift!” Killer sounds very excited.

Ccino turns around just enough to glance up at Killer, seeing him smile brightly “A gift?”

Killer nods and he pulls away to lean over the edge of the large bed, not caring at all that he is showing off his naked bones to the whole world at the moment. Killer sits back upright with a bag in his hands. Ccino sits up a little as he pulls the blanket up with him, making sure to hide the worst old burns and wounds from view. Just because Killer knows doesn’t mean it makes it easier for Killer to see. Ccino doesn’t want him to be in discomfort.

Killer looks a bit guilty “Okay. I lied. It are two gifts!” he grins and holds up a curious red ball with green spikes that make it almost teardrop shaped. Killer hands it to him and Ccino studies it. It is a plant?

Killer grins as he looks excited “It is dragon fruit! It grows on cacti and they are real cool!” he takes the fruit back and takes out his knife. Ccino watches curiously as Killer cuts it open and makes small pieces for him “Here!” he grins.

Ccino knows he shouldn’t and he hesitates “I don’t know Kills… It isn’t yet my eat day…” he only is allowed to eat once every four days… He already ate two days ago…

Killer frowns deeply at what he said before raising it up to him “It is fruit! That is totally fine!” and he waits.

Ccino frowns as he slowly reaches for it “Well… just a little…” he will have to make sure to eat a bit less when it is his meal time again. But Killer truly seems excited… He takes a little piece and looks it over curiously. The inside is white with tiny black dots. He sniffs it before taking a small bite. The taste itself is very light! But it is nice! Ccino eats a bit more but soon stops to not overeat.

Killer frowns but doesn’t mention it as he eats what is leftover. The cleans his hands quickly before opening his bag again before pulling out a-

Wow…

A beautiful crystal and glass statue… in the shape of a beautiful rose. It is truly beautiful. Ccino can’t help but stare as Killer looks a bit nervous as he talks “I… I wanted to get you flowers. But I know with the weather here it would be harder to take care of and I wasn’t sure which would be the best. Not to forget I didn’t want to get you something that would just die because… that is depressing… I figured… I mean if you don’t like it that is fine too. I just. I wanted to get you something cool that would last.”

Ccino smiles at the other. His soul feeling light and feeling giggly on happiness “It is amazing. I love it.” He takes the creation with gentle hands and stares in awe at the many details. It is incredible! The details and colours are just gorgeous even with the low lighting. Ccino smiles as he looks around before getting up to grab one of the glass vases around the room. They are just decorative anyway and he moves it to his side of the bed. He places it on the nightstand and puts the rose into it. He smiles when he notices the muted colours of the vase really make the rose stand out.

He smiles at Killer “Once I get the chance I will move it to my own room. I am not there a whole lot but at least it will be safe.” He snorts as he sees Killer just stare with a small fluster covering his face. His soul is clearly in a heart shape and wobbles madly. Ccino can’t help but laugh softly as he walks over and puts his arms around his neck and leans close to the other “Mmh. Such a lovely gift… It would only be fair if I thanked you.”

Killer is still staring with his mouth slightly open as he nods slowly before sputtering “Only if you want to! Like. Really want to! I am just as happy to just lay with you and talk I swear.”

Ccino smiles as he leans closer but he freezes. He hears heels. Killer and him glance at the door at the same time before Killer curses softly and dives for his clothes covering the floor. Ccino leans over himself to help figure out which are his and which are Killer’s.

They manage to locate the clothes but the door is starting to open and the balcony is just too far away. Killer dives into the walk in closet and Ccino manages to cover himself just in time and act as if he is sleeping when the door opens.

Ccino makes sure his soul and emotional state are both calm, and then he waits and listens.

The heels walk around the room and Ccino realises the issue with Killer being inside the walk in closet. With the fear of what could and would happen to Killer if he is found he turns towards Nim and makes sure to keep his voice open and welcoming “You are back already? Wasn’t the party fun?”

Nim pauses as she turns towards him. The closet door slightly open but she is no longer looking at it “You are still awake?” She leaves the closet for what it is as she walks over. Just a few steps and she towers over him and the bed. She looks highly amused and pleased “Even already ready.”

Ccino finds the right lie to tell quickly “Even if I know you would be at the party there is always a hope you would prefer something else.” The lie burns his tongue and taste vile.

Nim looks very pleased and locks him in so quickly “Always with the compliments. So sweet to me.” Which is followed by a kiss.

The kiss honestly tastes worse than the lie did. Ccino dislikes everything about this but remains relaxed and placid, that way it is over the soonest and with least amount of burns and pain.

Ccino isn’t sure why, but he is just not compatible with Nim, at all. He doesn’t know why, maybe it is because his magic is weak, maybe it is because he is fragile and less healthy. But instead of the fire elemental nature of Nim just feeling warm to him. It burns and stings whenever she is near. Touching feels even worse and Ccino wonders if that is what touching lava feels like. It lingers and even the memory of the touches give an echo of pain.

Nim pulls away looking content as she finishes undressing. Ccino hums as he makes some light conversation “Were none at the party to your liking my king?”  Ccino feels the too hot hand touch his face. His face feels as if it is getting a sunburn already.

Nim looks bright and content as all her four eyes look at him in little upturned half moons “None of them looked interesting at all.” she sighs “Honestly the quality is decreasing.” She looks annoyed. Her gaze shifts around before frowning at the new addition to the room “Mmh… Where did that come from…?”

Ccino hides his anxiety behind a slow blink before lazily looking towards the precious glass rose. He takes a moment to stare at it before humming “I believe… It was a present from one of your many suitors?” the lie fills up his throat as if he ate sand. He just smiles back at Nim.

Nim sighs long and loud as she leans on her hand, still laying over him “Oh I do not remember who gave me this little trinket.” She sighs as she shoots him an amused look “Honestly how am I supposed to keep track of all of them at this point?”

Ccino just nods as he easily tells her what she wants to hear “If you do not remember them they couldn’t have been impressive at all.”

Nim nods again “True, as always my dear.” The term of endearing makes him feel ill. She looks back at the glass statue “What to do with it… mmh. I can’t remember if I had a spot in mind. Any ideas dear?”

Ccino lays back and frowns a tiny bit to make a show of thinking. He hums as he keeps acting as if he is thinking before answering “Well, showing it off would send the wrong message and instead of it just adding to the decorations it could be seen as a statement that the suitor would be unworthy of.”

Nim frowns as he mouth shifts downwards and her many eyes narrow “Them daring to even think that?! How arrogant!!” She sounds enraged and the fire burns hotter.

Ccino nods as he answers with the right sentence “You are perfection. Anyone could only hope to gain your affection.”

Nim’s rage fades as she looks rather smug “That. I am.” She sighs as she waves the flower off without a second thought “I honestly don’t care. It is but a tiny trinket of someone too low to deserve to be on my mind for even a moment.” She looks at him and smiles “You can have it. It fits you.” and she looks amused.

Ccino ignores the dig about how she thinks about him as just a trinket, it isn’t anything new and he got what he wanted, he makes sure to nod and bow his head as much as he can in this position “Thank you my king. You are too kind and giving.” The second part makes it feel like his tongue is being stabbed.

Nim looks so very smug “I truly am. Now. I have needs.” Her hands start to move and as soon as he feels that he stops paying attention. He lets his god and king touch him however she wishes and lets her manipulate his body however she sees fit.

The worst part is honestly that Killer is still stuck in the closet but with him distracting Nim he will be able to escape rather easily.

It isn’t as if this is the first time Killer got locked in and he experienced Ccino doing his purpose and pleasure Nim. Doesn’t make it any easier.

His mind wonders to the first time this happened. Not too long after he and Killer got physical. As that is when Killer started to dare to stay longer. They had been very careful as they both understood the risks but the time they could spend together in bed just laying there. Holding one another and just being together. It made Ccino imagine that he was just a normal person. Just a normal monster who was allowed to get crushes and interests and who fell for the mysterious handsome stranger that would sneak into his room at night to spend time together.

It had been a beautiful fantasy that he could enjoy. So of course it ended up being ruined by Nim appearing earlier than planned. Killer had to hide under the bed itself.

Ccino remains frozen as he feels Nim get up. She sighs happily as Ccino feels the hand stroke his spine. The pain is unbearable but he remains silent. He keeps acting as if he is asleep. Please. Please just leave.

Nim giggles and soon the door closes as she leaves. Leaving him behind alone in the room and Ccino can’t stop himself from holding himself closer as he feels the tears leave his sockets.

The pain… it hurts so badly. But worse is knowing that… Killer now knows. Killer is now truly aware of how disgusting he is. It is his duty to give the king what she wants but that is no excuse. Ccino doesn’t even try to stop her and he must have looked so weak and useless. Killer is gone now and will never return and-

A hand touches his arm and Ccino can’t help but freeze up fully. Is Nim back? He didn’t hear the door and-

“Shit! Right sorry. I am so sorry. Ccino? It is just me. Can I… Can I touch you? Wait not like that! Just. Please? I can help I swear I will help.”

Ccino can’t help but turn quickly. Shocked. Why is Killer here. He glances at the door “Kills? Why are you here? You need to leave.” The sun is already out. Killer will have a much harder time sneaking out without the cover of darkness. Why would he still be here?! Nim would have been asleep and that should have given him the perfect moment to escape!

Killer sputters “Why am I here?! Ccino… I… I couldn’t just leave!” he stresses the word as his hands still hover “I… Is it okay if I pick you up?”

Ccino blinks and just numbly nods. Killer moves slowly as he picks him up and Ccino can’t help but flinch as a burn is touched wrong. Killer apologises even as Ccino softly reassures him it isn’t his fault.

Killer ends up carrying him towards the bathroom where he puts him on the edge of the bath. He turns on the water and Ccino watches the tub fill up. It is large and dug into the wall almost. It is large enough to fit Nim. Ccino glances and sees Killer rummaging through the different cabinets, clearly searching for something.

Ccino glances down and frowns as he sees the burns on his arms and wrists. He studies the shape and feels cold to his soul as he realises it is shaped perfectly like her hand. Are all of them like that? He feels sick. He wants to throw up. Why did he agree to let Killer carry him? It is so obvious now that he is just some useless toy and used and-

Killer lets out a loud ‘Ahah!’ as he proudly raises a few bottles. He rushes back over and puts it in the tub. Killer smiles at him and Ccino just glances down again. He doesn’t want to… to see the disgust and regret. Will he lose him now? It would hurt to not have Killer like him anymore. But what if Killer doesn’t even want to be friends anymore?

He doesn’t know what to do…

Killer speaks quietly “Hey… I am going to pick you up now okay? I am going to put you in the bath… is that okay?” Ccino just gives him a nod.

Killer doesn’t move right away and it just makes Ccino feel worse. Before Killer would be excited and joyful whenever Ccino gave him okays or said it was fine… yet now he hesitates… is he really that gross now?

Killer’s hands and arms finally help him of the edge and into the warm water. Ccino frowns as glance down. Had Killer put some kind of bathing oil into it? It feels softer somehow.

Killer is quiet for a moment before speaking “I… I found some stuff against burns… can I… may I help you with some of those wounds?”

Right. Because they are obvious. Ccino nods again and keeps looking down even as he holds out his arm.

The silence around them is chilling. Ccino is not used to this. Not from Killer. Killer is warmth and joy and energy. He doesn’t like being quiet and Ccino doesn’t like him being quiet. It doesn’t feel right and makes him uneasy. It is not the comfort he had come to known, come to rely on…

“I… I never knew that this… it got this bad.” Killer speaks softly as he cares for the burns.

Ccino shrugs as he mutters “Others don’t seem to mind.” he isn’t sure why he mentions that. He isn’t sure why he said that. Why doesn’t he just lie and say it is normal? Why doesn’t he just lie and says it is great?

Why is it harder to lie to Killer, than it is to Nim?

Killer is silent for a moment before speaking “I am going to hug you… is that okay?”

Ccino shrugs “If you want to.” It would be nice… real nice…

Killer still hesitates. But then two arms lock around his shoulders and Killer shakes as he just pulls him tightly against him. It is so nice and Ccino feels himself relax. Killer’s arms keep shaking lightly and it seems to grow worse when Ccino leans fully into his hold. Is this too much? Is he making Killer uncomfortable?

Killer keeps holding him close “Ccino?”

Ccino hums and waits.

Killer pauses for a moment before speaking again “Run away with me. Please.”

Ccino blinks and glances at Killer “What?”

Killer stares at him and smiles nervously “I know. I know it is a lot. But. You are hurt. She hurts you. Please. I could deal with that creep of a lady touching you as long as you enjoyed it! But you don’t! It hurts you and you don’t… You deserve much better than that Ccino!” And he waits.

Ccino is… not sure what to say. He is mostly confused. Doesn’t… doesn’t Killer understand? Ccino just stares at him “I… I don’t? This isn’t about me? If our god-king wants something she gets it. Because it is her right.” he feels cold. Is his breathing getting faster? There is no reason to feel cold after thinking that. And even less to feel panicked and anxious. “I… I have the privilege to serve her and do as she wishes and… and…” why is this hard to say? It shouldn’t be hard to say.

Killer shakes his skull “No!” Ccino can’t help but flinch and Killer holds his hand “No. No that isn’t fair. Just because she is some king person doesn’t mean she gets to rape you whenever she fucking wants!”

Ccino frowns at him. The way he said that seems to hold weight but… Ccino never really… So he asks “You… you say that like it matters… why does it matter? What is rape?” Ccino is very confused.

Killer stares shocked before looking down as his whole body shakes. His sockets are narrowed as he straight up growls out the next sentence “Oh of course those fucking assholes didn’t bother to explain what rape is. Or abuse probably either!” Ccino feels a bit insulted. He knows what abuse is!

Killer stares at him again “It is sexual abuse, it is when someone forces sexual interactions. Stuff you don’t want to do. That is bad because it is something everyone needs to be okay with. And you aren’t okay with this.”

Ccino frowns and shakes his skull “That… that can’t be right.” his voice shakes slightly as he repeats what he said before “You need to understand. She is a god. The king of our country. What she wants is her right. Anything she wants is okay because she is a god. It doesn’t… it isn’t…”

Killer just looks at him sadly as the arms return to embrace him. Killer just keeps holding him close “What she did to you is terrible. No matter who or what she is, she shouldn’t just get to abuse people. She shouldn’t just be allowed to touch you when you don’t want her to touch you. She shouldn’t be allowed to hurt you. It isn’t right. She isn’t right.”

Ccino leans into his hold. Shaking even as he doesn’t feel cold. He needs him.

Killer whispers “Run away with me… I know it is scary and new. But I swear it will be okay. You will like Ink, he can be a lot but he is honestly a great friend! We can just skip this whole country. Is there any spot you would like to go? Anything you want to see? Like a mountain? Or a beach? I know lots of places and we can visit all of them.” he smiles at him “I will be with you the whole time.”

Ccino wants to say yes but he knows he can’t. And he feels actually close to crying when he has to admit it “I can’t…”

Killer speaks so gentle “It is okay. We will figure out how to sneak you out. I will make sure you are safe. We will be a team and both Ink and I will teach you everything about being out on the road.” And he grins charming.

Ccino actually feels some tears escape as he laughs and shakes his skull “I can’t… It would kill me…”

Killer looks confused and Ccino admits the one thing he didn’t want to admit. He taps his own sternum “Slave contract… Had it since I was seven. If I leave Nim’s side for too long it will start to burn my soul until there is nothing left.” The horrified look that covers Killer’s face does not make Ccino feel better as he continues to talk “It was a reassurance… Just making people do your tasks and orders wasn’t enough for them. They changed the contract to include consequences for running away. Or for lying.”

Killer’s arms are around him against as Ccino leans against his shoulder. Soaking up the comfort of his friend as Killer mutters that they will figure something out.

Ccino doubts it. But it is a nice thought.

At least he still has Killer, at least a little.

Nim finally finishes and the flood of magic pressing against his makes him ill but at least it is finally over. She moves around and Ccino zones out again as he just lets her do whatever.

In the end Ccino ended up regretting admitting to the slave contract. Mostly because after he thought about it he realised he was willing to do it. To run away with Killer. Would it be a painful death, yes. But, in trade for that, he would get at least two months or being happy with Killer. They could visit Killer’s favourite places. Killer could show him so many things about this world. They could truly just be a couple, at least for a little while.

Ccino ended up trying to accept the deal still. Telling Killer he wanted to run away with him. Killer had looks so excited and asked him if he figured out how to stop the contract. Ccino had smiled and explained that he hadn’t, but that it would be fine. Killer had not agreed and cancelled the whole running away thing. Ccino knows that Killer said that he didn’t want to risk Ccino and end up killing him. But Ccino can’t help but think that this isn’t living either. At least those two months he would have been truly free and happy with Killer. That was what made it worth it… but Ccino ended up not telling Killer this. Killer seemed very distressed about the whole him dying thing and accepting that, best not explain how good the deal sounded to him after some thinking.

Nim has fallen asleep. Ccino is still stuck in her too warm embrace. Guess it is another night of just him suffering the heat as he can’t sleep. He glances around and sees the curtains near the balcony being still. Seems like Killer managed to get outside and close those doors.

Ccino is sad to see him go, to have their night be cut short. Killer can’t visit that often and now Ccino can’t even ride the euphory that being with Killer brought him as Nim had ruined and dirtied those lingering feelings and touches.

He hopes he can see Killer soon again.

--

Ccino isn’t paying much attention to the healers giving him, and the harem members, their check up. it is a weekly thing, everyone who the king found worthy to have sex with is to be checked in case they managed to carry twins. Any non-twin soullings get removed in these appointments as well.

They are just part of his routine at this point.

He sits on one of the beds as he waits to hear the verdict. He has already seen two of the eight here be given the drink to terminate non-twin soullings. Ccino never had to drink one of those before but from what he heard from others it tastes rather bland. But the aftereffect leaves you feeling cold for almost a full week and some have gotten sick after consuming it.

The healers are by his side still and Ccino is slightly annoyed. They are usually faster. Though he doubts they will try anything again. Even Nigel is that bold after Nim already warned him once. Even Mar didn’t risk it after that even as they stared wishfully at Nim.

Nigel frowns slightly as he mutters some words to Mar and Mar leaves to grab something from a shelf.

Ccino doesn’t care as his mind is still filled with a light bliss. Killer had managed to come by the day before yesterday. Nim had been busy the whole day with work and her council and Killer had been ballsy enough to sneak in in bright daylight and they spend the whole day together. It was truly amazing and he has been riding that high for the last two days now.

Mar suddenly rushes over to Nim, who is standing nearby looking disappointed at the two of her harem who had to drink the soulling termination drink. Mar bows deeply to Nim and Nim focusses on them. They speak about something but they are far enough that Ccino can’t really hear it.

Nim’s flames suddenly grow brighter and higher as she rushes over towards Nigel and leans closer to the healer and Nigel shows some results and shows an orb which-

Is a mixed colour. Purple and yellow.

Ccino is shocked. One of those here is carrying twins…

The orbs will change colour to fit the energy of a soulling.

This obviously only works if the monster or human is pregnant. From what Ccino understands is that a skilled healer can feel if a soul is carrying a soulling. Than they use the orb to sense the fragile soullings soulenergy while filtering out the most available soultrait. Though the soultrait test is a lot less reliable as soullings often shift soultraits as they grow and grow most stable. Not to forget that normal monsters don’t really have an obvious soultrait marker in their souls, it often represents in their magic or small details.

This Ccino only knows as he heard the healers tell this story many times to different harem members.

The things that matters is, the fact that the orb is showing two colours. It means it is sensing two different fragile soultraits. Meaning, twins.

Nim absolutely lights up and her flames are near white with her excitement. Ccino just knows her face has the same gleefulness to it, if it hadn’t been hidden by her veil.

Everyone is watching closely.

Nim speaks full of excitement “Who is carrying my twins?”

Nigel looks almost… amused? Is that the right word? Nigel bows deeply “Well my king, It is none other than your consort of course.”

Ccino feels something in his mind break. No. No… No no no no no!

Nim turns and her veil covered face stares into his direction. Moments later she is by his side and rubs his cheek and kisses his skull “Oh my dear Lyra, you are truly perfect.”

Ccino’s mind can’t even focus on the fact she is using that name again. No. What do you mean he is carrying twins?! He never! It never happened before! He had too little energy and no magic! How could he be carrying twins?!

Ccino watches silently as the others are quickly removed from the medical room. All rushed out after their check ups finish. Nim keeps looking so fucking content as she strokes his face and arms and hands. Leaving behind tender and slightly painful marks.

Ccino isn’t even paying attention as Nigel and Mar talk to him about what he will need to do to keep the health of the new twins up. To make sure both are healthy enough to be born and how to ensure this. Something about magic transfers and confinement and rest. Ccino doesn’t like the idea of magic transfers. He always feels sick after a small magical donation and the idea of getting those almost daily doesn’t sit well with him. But he has to as apparently his body just doesn’t make enough magic to support the twins.

Ccino doesn’t understand why he can’t just eat more. Food should give energy for magic right? why can’t he just eat and get magic that way? Then again… he would grow fat and Nim doesn’t want that…

The conversation continues on for a while longer before he follows Nim out quietly.

Nim hums happily as she walks, expecting him to keep up, “Oh what a wonderous day. I just knew you would be perfect, and now you prove it even more! So perfect and just like Lyra. We will obviously need to make sure you remain nearby. But just leaving you in a room to rest? No. That is such a waste! I want everyone to see the joy, the perfection. New twins. Just in time as well.”

Ccino just nods along. Still feeling numb as he follows her footsteps. Trying not to… not to what? What does he do?

They get back to Ccino’s own room as Nim looks around it with distaste “Oh this will not work. I can not have the one carrying my twins remain here. I will have to speak with people to get your new room ready.” She nods to herself as she starts to leave.

Ccino doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get it. How did this happen?

Nim stops and turns “What do you mean? Of course I move you to a better location. You are carrying my heirs now. That means people will try to be foolish and harm you as they know they can’t harm me.”

Ccino feels even more anxiety fill him. He hadn’t even thought about that. But the matter remains. He finds his voice and mutters the next question on purpose instead of accident “How… How am I pregnant? I don’t have enough magic for that.” It is a statement. Everyone knew this was the case. No one made it a secret. The council had been displeased with him about his position of consort because he didn’t have the ability to get pregnant. They all agreed Nim was wasting precious time by having him as someone to have sex with.

Nim chuckles as she walks over “Oh that is easy.” She pulls him back and it is scorching hot as one of her hands lays over the front of him. Right where his sternum and soul are hidden behind his thin shirt. “Because I wanted you to carry them.” she leans close and whispers “don’t you feel it? It is still rather new. I did reabsorb their souls after all. It would be a waste to let all of that time and effort go to waste. Instead of wasting time with creating completely new souls for my heirs I just cleansed them.”

Ccino stands frozen as it sinks in “It… it… it are…” he stammers.

Nim hums “Dream and Nightmare. And who else by the one who already took care of them before? I knew your soul would accept the soullings transfer. You were the only choice.” A kiss to his cheek before steps leaving towards the door.

A pause.

“The perfect choice.”

The door closes.

And Ccino falls to his knees. Tears streaming down his face.

--

He feels sick. He can’t really move. The new magic injected into his system still feels wrong. It messes with his senses and his soul hurts so badly.

A wet cloth is placed on his skull and Ccino glances to the side. Robin looks at him so very worried.

Ccino frowns slightly before giving her a pointed look “You… can’t be… here… If she… if Nim finds out…” Nim had been… weirder than usual. He had been moved to this new room… two weeks? Maybe? Ago. It seems that ever since she successfully moved his soullings to his soul she has been… slipping is the best way to describe it.

She has also been calling him by the wrong name many more times. She seems to crackle brighter than ever before and mutter about taking over other lands, which is unheard of for her. Nim never cared about taking over more land or anything. To her it didn’t matter as it was just a waste of time. Why bother with countries that didn’t accept her as leader? Why bother with people who didn’t come to serve her? That is what she had always said.

Robin frowns at him as she cleans helps cool his bones “Yeah she is screaming up a storm against the guards. Something about suspicious footsteps in the garden.” She pauses and mutters “Ccino… I don’t think it is wise for… your friend to visit you…”

Ccino frowns as he shifts his skull into the pillow more “Not like… he can get in here…” it is like a locked box. There isn’t even a window. He feels locked up and uneasy. Trapped. It is too warm and he feels like he is melting from the inside out.

He knows it is impossible for Killer to find out where he is now. Ccino had to explain where his own room was to Killer before he figured out how to get there. Killer doesn’t know where he is now. and that is good. Because it means Killer can’t get into trouble for trying to get to the one carrying the heirs.

Robin mutters softly “I can… try to get a message across? Rogers will help too. Try and explain he needs to escape now…” and she waits.

And that is the problem… because Ccino doesn’t want that. Ccino truly is a terrible person, as all he wants and wishes for is Killer to be here. For even just a moment. Even when knowing how dangerous it is.

Ccino rolls up more as he can’t look at Robin “I… I don’t… I don’t know…”

Robin frowns before the door opens just an edge. Rogers is outside and whispers “The shift in the guard will be here soon. You need to go now before the next group Robin.” Rogers shoots him a smile before glancing around.

Robin nods as she gives him a gentle hug “It is okay. We will figure something out.” and she leaves the room.

He truly feels terrible as he just lays there. Prisoner of this room with only his own selfish thoughts to keep him company.

Is this… is this a punishment? From… It?

Ccino doesn’t understand. He thought… He thought he already got punished for him asking for help. For accepting help form It. That that was why It killed his twins…

But now he… he is carrying them? Little Dream and Nightmare? Both of them? It will kill him… is that punishment for no longer giving It attention? Or is this truly just Nim?

Why does he think of It as a god yet doesn’t see Nim as one?

He doesn’t know anymore…

He doesn’t… he doesn’t know what he can even do anymore.

He closes his eyes as he just wills himself to sleep. He keeps hoping he will wake up in his normal room. Hell he would even accept it being Nim’s at this point. Just not this jail anymore. Not this prison.

He thinks he falls asleep… Maybe… He isn’t fully sure. He feels sick. So very sick. He just wants to sleep and not feel anything for a while.

A soft voice gently speaking “Ccino? Ccino please… what is wrong? Are you sick? What is happening?”

Ccino frowns slightly as he opens his sockets. He glances to the side and… Killer? How… when? Is… is he asleep? This has to be a dream right?

Ccino tries to push himself up but his arms shake violently and he falls almost immediately. Killer is by him and helps him up a little “Ccino?! What is going on? Please tell me.”

Ccino sobs as he looks with a teary smile at Killer. The pain at least proves this is real. Killer found him… Killer managed to find him! He doesn’t answer right away as he just hugs Killer. Sobbing softly. He finally feels safe. The arms hold him and he wants it to never end. But… No… this is too dangerous…

He sobs as he mutters through his sniffs “You… you need… need to go… if she… if she finds you… if she figures out… you need to go…” it hurts so much. He doesn’t want him to go.

Killer shakes his skull “No. please. What is wrong? What did she do? What is this stuff?” he glances to the side where Ccino knows the magic injector lays. Killer looks so panicked.

Ccino smiles sadly and laughed “What… you haven’t heard the great news?” He keeps his smile up even if he feels it shake as his sight grows hazy with his tears “The next heirs are on their way. The next set of twins are planned to be born…” He sobs as he just leans against Killer “I don’t… I don’t want to die… I don’t… I really don’t Killer… What… what do I do?”

Killer holds him close and seems to remain quiet. Ccino just leans into the hug. He sobs as he shakes in his arms.

Killer finally finds his voice “What… what is… the injector for?”

Ccino shakes as he remembers the terrible feeling of the magic being injected. It never feels the same as his own body notices the invasive magic but can’t do anything to stop it. He shakes as he just pushes closer. Killer is familiar, Killer is safe. He can tell Killer. It is okay. He mutters “I… I don’t… have enough magic… never did… This… this is to make sure… I can carry… to term…” he shakes.

Killer pulls him closer “Why not just give you more food?! You eat like what… once a week? Why not just give you normal fucking meals?”

Ccino just lays in those arms. Leaning close as he relaxes “Can’t risk not being pretty for Nim…” he turns his face to hide it in his shoulder. The scent of the other is familiar and calms him down.

It is okay… Killer is here…

Killer holds him close against him “I… I don’t… I don’t know what to do…”

Ccino can’t help but laugh as he agrees. He doesn’t know what to do either.

They sit like that for a while. Ccino feels himself start to fall asleep again as he enjoys this moment. He isn’t sure if it will have to last him until the end and savours it. The warmth, the secure feeling, the way the other just supports his weight. It all feels so good. It feels real.

Ccino finds himself smiling a little. For a short little moment he is happy.

Killer nuzzles his skull “Is there anything I can do to help you? I can sneak in more food. I can get you more things. Anything you want.”

Cino frowns as he thinks. What is there they could do? Escape isn’t possible as Ccino can’t even walk himself anymore. Much less escape with Killer. And risking Killer to keep sneaking in isn’t fair and honestly? All he wants is just this. Killer with him and holding him.

As soon as he gets the idea he tries to ban it from his mind as he answers the other “Nothing that is… nothing that matters.”

The arms hold him tighter “Please tell me?”

Ccino feels unsure and insecure. But… but Killer wants to know right? Maybe it is okay to ask him this? “I… I wish… I wish you could stay…” he laughs softly as he pushes close “I… I am so scared. It is terrifying but… with you nearby I feel less scared…” the idea takes more of a shape in his mind. Killer could fake join the guard. Rogers could sneak him to be higher level. And then when Rogers keeps watch Killer can sneak in. Or when it is Killer’s turn he can sneak in…

Killer is very quiet and Ccino looks at him with a small smile. Only for it to fall. Because… Killer doesn’t… he doesn’t look happy… He looks unhappy and troubled as he looks to the side. Not at him.

He… doesn’t want to…

Killer speaks softly “Ccino… Ccino I am so sorry but… I can’t… I can’t stay here… I… it isn’t me… I am supposed to be out there you know.” he smiles at him but his smile falls “Ccino I…”

Ccino realises he is crying again. Shit no… He didn’t. It doesn’t matter that his soul hurts… It is fine! He is used to this. Why didn’t he expect this? He knew this… this was just… something fun for the other… It wasn’t deep like…

Ccino somehow manages to get the words out even as his voice shakes “Right… I am sorry. I know… I shouldn’t have… It isn’t fair to ask you to… give up your freedom…”

Killer looks so unsure and Ccino manages to pull away from him. He reaches a hand out but Ccino goes back to where his blanket lays. It is so cold “It is fine… I know… I know it isn’t you. I didn’t mean to imply for you to change… it was stupid to ask…”

Killer shakes his skull “It wasn’t stupid…”

Ccino refuses to look at him “It was…” and now… well “It is actually better… This… this place isn’t safe… There are too many guards and if any of them see you you could be hurt… Killer… I… I think it is best if you don’t return…”

Killer is completely quiet “But… I thought… I thought you wanted…”

Ccino feels his soul break even more “Well clearly it doesn’t matter what I want does it?! It never did!”

Silence.

“Just… Killer just leave… I can’t… I can’t deal with you being here anymore. You being here. It means you could get hurt… I can’t… I can’t keep being afraid you will get hurt being here.” Ccino holds himself “Just leave.” Softer to himself “You are good at that.”

There is a silence and Ccino isn’t even sure what he wants. Part of him never wants to see Killer again. He always knew it was just a fun thing for Killer and Ccino was the idiot for falling in love and trying to make believe this into something that mattered and wasn’t just a game to the other. Another, smaller, part of him wants Killer to hug him. To say they can keep doing what has been going on until now. That Killer doesn’t want to say goodbye.

There is a silence and then the door opens a tiny bit… and Killer is gone.

Ccino sobs as he falls over. Crying into the pillow.

He deserves this… clearly he did something to deserve this.

He isn’t sure how long he cries. How long he sobs his stupid soul out. By the time the door opens again he is just staring at the far wall. His sockets hurting and so very exhausted.

Robin joins his side. Looking worried. She speaks but her voice sounds far away. She has to ask the question a few times before it finally makes sense to Ccino.

And he tells her. He tells her what happened. Softly between shakes as his body sobs without tears and sound. That he is an idiot. That he is too blame for this. He should have known better. He should have known this could never be. Now Killer is officially gone and he is never going to get to see him again. His one escape from this everything. Gone.

Robin holds him through his sobs. Gentle in her hold and voice as she tells him it isn’t his fault. That he deserved better.

Ccino can’t find it in himself to believe her.

--

Things have been better and worse.

Better in the way that Ccino has been getting used to things. He has been getting used to the pull on his soul and energy and feeling something try to pull on the magic he doesn’t have, making him unbalanced.

Worse because… well… Everything honestly. He hates having to deal with Nim’s council. He hates having Nim be so delighted and around him the whole time. He hates himself for waiting each night only to cry when no one comes to visit him.

He wishes he could have been brave enough to just run. To just run and die far away from this place.

Nim is looking at reports as Ccino walks by her side. His heart hurting with a starting migraine from all the light and conversations. Nim just speaks about what will come next and what to expect. What will change and how things need to be perfect.

Ccino doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to hear. He doesn’t care about this stupid country. He doesn’t care about her. He. Just. Doesn’t. Care!

He just wants to sleep. Sleep and cry more. But even the little privacy he had for that has gone as Nim hovers. Hands always touching somewhere and making him feel sick.

Nim hums as she trails her hand “But that is for later. I believe I have some time and I wish to spend it enjoying you. It has been much too long since I had that chance.”

Yesterday morning to be exact. Ccino still feels sore and pain from it which the transfer magic just makes worse.

He doesn’t want to talk about this. He doesn’t want to even think about it. He wants to hear anything else. Anything!

He speaks without thinking. “Who is Lyra?”

A moment of silence and Ccino feels like he overstepped as he mutters much softer “It is… You have spoken about this person with fondness before my king. I was curious who could receive such an honour.” And he waits nervously.

Nim stares ahead of her, the way she holds herself is different. She seems… distracted? She speaks softly “Lyra was… Come. I will show you.” and she walks. Ccino blinks and rushes after her even as his body protests.

They go towards Nim’s private wing and follow along some halls until they reach a door but there is no handle or even lock. Nim holds her hand against it and it seemingly melts away. A door only Nim herself can open it seems.

Nim walks inside and motions for him to follow. Ccino follows her in and glances around the small extra room. It is a small bedroom, much like his own private room used to be. But this one is themed with yellows, oranges and reds. Bright and everywhere. The bed is just a frame and the bookcase is empty. There is a large hanger with many dresses and Ccino thinks they look a lot like the ones Nim usually gives him to wear.

Then he glances at where Nim is standing. Her frames illuminating a large painting. It is made with oil paints and the frame is a golden and copper colour. The picture itself is one of Nim sitting on her throne but by her side stands a skeleton. They are wearing a bright orange dress and have a bright smile on their face. Their face is still young, maybe twenty-ish? They have bright orange eye lights and small orange freckles all over their face. They are really pretty.

Nim stares at the painting and hovers her hand near “Lyra.”

Ccino frowns at Nim and waits.

Nim stares at the painting fondly “She was there since the start. For as long as I remembered. My father made sure I had the best as was my right. I had people waiting my every comment and need. Lyra was always there first. She was perfect. She knew what I wanted, when I needed. Would sing and dance and paly music.” The almost tender look breaks away from her face as possessiveness takes over “When I ascended. When I took my birthright. I sought her out. It was only fitting that my first night was with someone perfect just like me.”

Ccino feels uneasy. It is not a good thing she sees her lost… love?  Affection? In him. He glances at the painting “What… happened?” old age? An accident? Assassination?

Nim sighs sadly “Oh she was perfect in every way. It was to be expected she carried my twins for me. That she carried them to completion and to birth.”

Ccino frowns, that can’t be right… “I thought… Dream’s and Nightmare’s mother had been Setta?” Ccino met that woman! And she hadn’t looked like the skeleton in the painting.

Nim frowns at him for a moment before laughing “Oh I am not talking about her. The only thing good about her is that she managed to give me twins. But well, that wasn’t that amazing after all of both of them had been weak.” Ccino feels a rage but keeps it contained. Them getting sick hadn’t been their fault! That isn’t how sickness works!

Nim stares back at the painting “Lyra gave me my first twins. Twin girls. Both looking just like her. Of course, after Lyra’s soul burst with the twin’s birth I killed the twins.”

Ccino stares. In disbelieve with how casually she mentions it. As if it is just remembering what her dinner had been. Not that she killed two babies. Nim continues on as if she doesn’t notice his horror “I realised that it was much too soon to pass the torch of godhood. I had only been a god for five years at that point and I hadn’t even been trying to make twins. I killed them to ensure my rule.” She stares at the paining and her hand strokes the cheek of the skeleton in it “They looked too much like her… They were unworthy of being like her. Or daring to remind me of her.”

Ccino stares at Nim. Fear for his twins filling him “What… what about… my twins?”

Nim blinks and looks long at him “It is time I pass on the torch. You have perfect timing for my new heir.” She smiles as she glances back at the painting “I like it when things are perfect.”

Ccino nods as he is quick to agree “You do deserve perfection.”

Nim looks pleased as she motions towards the exit. Ccino leaves quickly and walks with her. Very little of the day getting through to him as Nim goes about her day criticizing people. His mind keeps turning back to the fact that she… she killed… he is scared for his twins…

Eventually he is left in his prison again. He sits on the soft bed and just stares at the mostly empty room. It truly is just a room for him to rest and that is it. Just a soft bed with soft pillows and warm blankets. Just a shame that it is always too warm and hot in here.

He just sits on the bed and pulls his knees close to hug. He had been so worried about dying that he hadn’t even worried if his twins would be left in an okay place. He knows this place is terrible. He had seen how unfairly Dream and Nightmare had been treated!

The same will happen to them again, if Nim didn’t lie of course. There is a very high chance she lied and the soullings in his soul aren’t Dream and Nightmare. Even if they are still his twins now…

He is confused… He expected himself to hate them… he hates this pregnancy, he hates his situation, he hates this place… but he doesn’t hate the small soullings he has. He finds himself loving them.

Something is seriously wrong with him.

Soft knocks and the door opens just a bit. Rogers glances in and frowns “Ccino sir?”

Ccino just rolls up more.

A moment of silence before the door closes and footsteps come near him. The bed dips in a bit and Rogers speaks softly “Hey… what is wrong?”

Ccino shakes “She killed them.”

Rogers frowns as he holds his hand “You mean… Nim killed Dream and Nightmare?”

Ccino shakes and shakes his skull “No… well she did that too… but before that… she had other children. Another set of twins… she killed them…” he hugs his knees closer causing them to dig into his own chest “How… how can I be sure she won’t just… kill mine? When I am gone? I couldn’t even protect Dream and Nighty… How will I protect these.” He sobs as he glances at Rogers.

Rogers holds him as he shakes “I am not going to be able to protect them. They are going to take them and force them into those horrible roles of before.” And Ccino won’t even be able to protect them this time. Not like he did a good job before obviously but he now can’t even try. He is too weak.

Rogers keeps holding him “We will still be here Ccino. Please don’t think we would just abandon them.”

Ccino stares at Rogers “huh?”

Rogers gives a small smile as he puts an arm around him to keep him stable “It is all we can do… Sorry we can’t do more…”

Ccino frowns “What do you mean? Do more?”

Rogers frowns as he looks at the door “I am not sure… I… I am sorry… Robin and I tried to… search for a way to help you… We spoke with healers and realised there were two options really but…” he looks at him “We didn’t think you would be okay with someone removing the soullings.”

Ccino looks up shocked and stares “What…?”

Rogers sighs and looks at him. He looks tired. “Ccino… We see this destroying you. You are dying… We… we just want to help. And one of the options was well… removing what was killing you.” and he looks at him.

Ccino slowly shakes his skull as he tries to cover the spot where his soul hides with his twins. Rogers grins and waves at him “Yeah. That is what we figured. We had another option… On some of my missions and heard about a soulling transfer. Usually when the one originally carrying isn’t strong or healthy enough to carry the soulling a transfer is done as a last resort. We searched for people who could do this procedure for you but… It is only an option in Sanctuary.” And he looks so disappointed “I am sorry… I swear we tried to find solutions… to save you and both your twins… We are sorry.”

Ccino stares in shock… He had thought… He hadn’t thought they would… “Nim would have never allowed it…”

Rogers shrugs “Robin had been okay with carrying one of the twins for you. We would have lied and just said the child was Robin’s and mine’s. You would still show all the signs. Than when it was ready for the twins to be born Robin would sneak the child back to you…” Rogers laughs and shakes his head “But there is no way to have gotten you there for the treatment needed. And there is no way such a specialist healer would be willing to come here.” He smiles.

Ccino feels a shock but a small warmth starts to spread in his soul. His friends truly… truly care for him? He can’t help but smile as he leans against one of his only two true friends “Thank you.”

Rogers snorts “We did nothing… It ended up a disappointment.”

Ccino shakes his skull as he leans against the other “You two tried to help. You two worked hard to find solutions and ways to help me… I appreciate it more than anything. Thank you.”

Rogers keeps holding him “You did so much for Robin and me both Ccino… Of course we try to help you as well.”

Ccino snorts “Seriously? Robin was always helping me. Not the other way around. And all I ever did for you was just… normal stuff? Be nice?” he smiles at the other.

Rogers grins “It would surprise you how much that matters Ccino. To have someone just be friendly and not tell you your every action is wrong and that you ruin everything by just trying.” He sighs “I always believed that serving god-king Nim would be the greatest honour. That it would be the way to a bright future and work towards that… Everything I have seen here. Heard here? Everything was fake. You helped me see through that façade Ccino.” He nudges their shoulders together “And in the end I gained two friends…”

Ccino smiles as he leans against his friend. Letting himself relax just a little. Knowing that his two friends will be there for his twins after he is gone. That everything won’t just be in vain.

--

Ccino is just listening as the council and Nim talk about future plans and ideas for how to proceed. They are asking her how she plans to finish a war before the birth of the new twins and Nim seems to consider this as she looks at the timeline. Seems like she had been serious about wanting more land. The council however are unsure. Mentioning how they will need to spend time and resources on the twins over a war.

Honestly with how they talk about these factors they imply that raising two children is as difficult as winning a war. Then again they plan to poison his twins’s minds and opinions so maybe it does take some time and resources.

The people on the council had shot him looks when Nim walked in with him by her side but no one dared to go against their god and king. Ccino had sat down and acted as if he wasn’t there. Still listening of course but acting as if he didn’t pay attention.

Nim feels unimpressed “I want Ironfields to be added to my territory. And as it is my wish, it is my right as god living among the mortals.”

Aurora, a deer monster, glances at the reports “And we agree our king. But with the twins on their way isn’t it best to postpone your planned victory until after they are born and situated?”

Nim sighs as she waves a hand “By then I will be gone and Dream will have taken over my godhood.”

Ccino blinks and looks over “What?”

Someone in the council glares at him but Ccino doesn’t care as he focusses on Nim “What… what do you mean? Isn’t that… how could they be crowned when they are just born?” that makes no sense?!

Nim looks at him and the veil doesn’t show any of her emotions but the glee is clear in the room as she sends those out. “It is about time I pass my godhood. It is best to pass it early to ensure it remains at strength. As soon as our twins are born. I will give my powers over to Dream. Trusting my magic to guide him to do his next step.”

Ccino stares as his mind spins. Does… does she mean that… when Ccino’s… when his babies are finally back. After all this time… They will just be… alone again? Nim isn’t a good mother or parent but she is still their parent! He had… why had he thought that she would help them? He had hoped that someone would look after them like he had before.

But… but if they expect them… if they immediately expect Dream to take over… to ascend. He won’t even get the most basic of childhoods. He won’t even get the chance to be before he is trust into the role of god king…

Dream and Nightmare won’t even get the chance to be twins or brothers or friends. Not at all.

“No.”

A silence follows that single word.

Nim slowly turns back to him “Excuse you.”

Ccino stares ahead of him before staring right at Nim. A rage unlike anything before enters his whole being as he glares “I. Said. No.” He knows his face hardens as he stands there. In front of their god king. In front of the whole council which he means nothing to.

Nim stares at him through her veil. He can feel the weight of the gaze. The air mirrors her emotions as they turn bemused “Oh really. No?”

Ccino nods “No. Dream will not immediately ascend. Neither of them will. They are babies!” He stressed the word. He can’t believe she would… That any of them would!

Someone snorts and Ccino thinks he hears something about him being overemotional but Ccino easily ignores them. He focusses on Nim.

The bemusement turns amused as she walks over to him “I will ignore that you spoke against me. You care too much about things that do not matter dear.” A hand strokes his cheek “All that matters… Is me. And what I wish.”

He feels the magic in the very old contract tighten around his soul. It hadn’t felt and hurt like this in ages. Not since the start. Not since he learned to follow the silent orders and requests. Until it became second nature.

No. No.

He takes a few steps back, ripping himself away from her touch “Don’t touch me! You do not get to hurt my twins!” He raises both his hands over his sternum as he glares “I don’t care what you want them to be! They are mine now too, just as much mine as they are yours and I say no!” He glares. His gaze is growing hazy as the pressure around his mind and soul increase. “And I say that they get to be children! They get to grow up! Just like they did before! They deserve a chance to be happy after you murdered them for no reason!”

Silence around them, or maybe they are screaming. Ccino doubts he could have heard them over the ringing in his skull. His body is starting to shake to keep standing. To keep speaking against what is expected of him.

The amusement turns to rage and pushes down on him. It is hard to keep upright.

“How dare you speak out against your king!” She is enraged. Furious.

There should be fear. But the thought of his twins. Finally returned and him gone as he dies. Left with nothing. Left with no one. No one to hold them. No one to love them. No one to tell them it will be okay. That they are so good, and smart, and amazing. That they are perfect just the way they are. All because she wants them to be what she wants?! After she betrayed them!

Ccino forces his sockets back open and his eye lights to focus on the burning flame in front of him. It is warm. It is burning hot in matter of fact. Her rage burns around them. It is scorching. But Ccino focusses as he stares at her.

“You are not my king.” With each word he speaks he finds himself standing taller “My order was to serve the future king. Nd the future king is a soulling in my own soul at this very moment. I served you, did what you wanted, all of it. Because you were supposed to have the wellbeing of the next king in mind. But you are no longer acting in his best interest, maybe you never were.” The pressure is gone. He stands upright as he stares at her It is hard to see her, it is hard to feel his mouth and body “You are not my king. You are not my god. You are a brat throwing a tantrum each time you do not get what you want. And I can know as I raised your children for you once before. And I will not let you hurt them.”

The room showcases how furious she is. But Ccino can’t see her anymore. It is all hazy and clouded. He can’t quite focus. What… what is he doing again? Why is he here?

Nim’s voice sounds far away “You will be punished for this-”

“I am not done speaking.”

Wait… did he say something? He thought his mouth moved… but everything is hazy… He can’t think… He is so tired.

“You are no king, and surely no god. You took powers that were never yours to take.” He is saying… something? Maybe? Ccino isn’t sure… He thinks he is speaking but he can’t hear it…

“You are a disgrace. Your whole family line before you is. You were never allowed to take this magic. To use and abuse it. It was not yours to take. He was not yours to take.”

There is… rage? But it feels different. Not like Nim’s… But different… It reminds him of when Ccino got angry on behave of his twins. When he caught sight of Nightmare cutting his hand to practise for rituals. Of when Dream was sobbing because people told him he wasn’t working hard enough and the stress got to him…

“But I am here once again. I am here to reclaim what is rightfully mine. You will be forgotten. You will no longer poison this land. Your touch will no longer hurt him. Ans his twins will no longer have to fear for your disapproval. You will just be a bad memory, but one that will face with time. And you will be forgotten as the land heals from you and your ancestors abuse.”

A loud crack of something. Like wood splintering. Like earth moving as a landslide. It is loud and harsh. The ground shakes under him but Ccino doesn’t feel himself fall. He is… still standing? How is he standing? He should have collapsed right?

He is so tired…

The pain around his soul and mind finally fully disappear. The harsh light and heat around him is gone. And his mind finally goes blissfully silent as he feels himself slip away.

----

His body feels sore… Not like when Nim touched him… but like when he used to run around the castle for a long day. After a long day of working. As if he exercised too much.

It is strange.

Ccino groans as he pushes his skull into the soft pillow under him before he frowns. It feels… like cotton? Not like the silk that is in Nim’s room or his prison room? But he has had to sleep there for ages now. Why would he be in his own room?

He forces his eyes open and looks around confused. The first thing he sees is the crystal glass rose that Killer gave him a long time ago. Still safely on his nightstand. It truly is his room. He glances to the side and sees his own window, cracked open with a few flower pots with different plants in them. All were gifts from when Killer still entertained Ccino’s delusional ideas. That Killer had truly loved him. Ccino would be given plants from every place Killer visited. All the native plants. Killer ahd told him that it was the least he could do, with Ccino being unable to visit those places he could take a little of them back to Ccino.

His room? But…

“Ccino!! You are alive!” Two arms lock around him and Ccino is shocked.

Mostly because it is very out of character for Rogers to do that?

Ccino stares at his friend “Rogers? What… What is going on? Why wouldn’t I be alive?” He isn’t near his due-date yet. Sure he isn’t the healthiest but there is no reason why he would die quickly.

Rogers pulls back a little and seems to look him over. Ccino can’t help but notice the dark marks under his eyes. Rogers looks thinner and paler than usual. He is exhausted. Ccino frowns at him “Have you been resting? Eating okay? You look…”

Rogers laughs “Like shit? You can say it. Robin says it all the time.” As soon as he says that he walks towards the side of the door and rings a string there-

Wait… since when does his room have a system to call for a servant? Ccino doesn’t have that… He glances around the room again and frowns. He… thinks this is his room but it feels… different… Was his room always this large? That can’t be right.

Rogers returns to his side “Robin will be here soon. She was getting food for us and will now also get some for you.”

Ccino blinks and mutters, mostly out of habit “I don’t think it is my eat day.”

Rogers waves it off “Oh don’t worry. No one will try to tell you what to do at the moment.” He looks deeply amused by this.

Ccino stares at his friend “What… What do you mean?”

Rogers’s grin falls as he looks unsure “Wait… you don’t remember?”

Ccino feels himself frown as he thinks back. He was with Nim at the council… They… were planning things? For the future? Like always? Ccino keeps frowning as he stares down “I… I am not sure? I was at the council meeting right? With the king? I…” his mind remains blank. Nothing connects for a while. All he can hear is soft rustling of leaves and he glances upwards before staring “Why are there vines alone the ceiling with leaves?”

Rogers looks shocked but before he can say a word the door opens and Robin rushes inside. Ccino manages a glance and sees there are two guards outside but they are staying far away from the door.

Robin just stands there for a moment. By the door. She pushes the plates she is carrying on top of the dresser before rushing to his side and two arms lock around him again. Another familiar embrace and Ccino hugs his friend close and sighs. It is good to be with his friends. They rarely get the chance to spend time together with how much Nim had been-

Nim!!

Ccino glances around worried “Is this… Okay? What is Nim finds out?” He doesn’t want to get his friends hurt because he is weak and needs their support!

Robin frowns as she looks obviously confused “Ccino what do you mean?”

Ccino looks between his friends confused as he starts to feel like he missed something very important. Luckily Rogers shakes his head at Robin “Robin… It can honestly wait. He doesn’t remember. Lets first eat.”

Robin blinks before nodding “Yeah… Yeah honestly that is fine. I don’t think there really is a rush at this point?” she walks back to the plate and brings it over. Ccino glances at it and sees cut fruits and some bowls with yogurt. Robin grabs the smallest bowl and puts some banana and apples into it. She mixes it and even adds a little bit of honey. She hands it to him with a spoon “Eat.”

Ccino blinks “But it isn’t my-”

Robin glares at him and Ccino feels himself stop talking. Robin stares him down “You are going to eat that. Take as much time as you want. Eat it slowly. Savour every bite if you want. But eat.” She looks close to begging “Please. Just eat. Don’t worry about punishment okay? I swear it is safe. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

She really wouldn’t. Ccino takes a small bite as he watches Robin and Rogers getting their own bowl ready. It is nice. To just enjoy a moment together with his two friends. They eat their own food and they seem relaxed. And if they are relaxed it is really okay… right? Otherwise they wouldn’t be this calm.

Even with it being a small bowl Ccino can’t eat it all. He feels full and thinks he will start to feel sick or need to vomit if he eats anything else. Robin doesn’t mention it as she takes the bowl and puts it aside. Afterwards she sits by his side and checks him quickly. Check if he can stand, if his coordination is fine, check his relaxes.

Robin sighs in relieve as she sits back “Okay. You are actually okay…” she hugs him again.

Ccino nods “I feel fine…” Better than fine now he has some actual food. He feels less light headed already and less shaky. Even if he can handle both just fine at this point it is more comfortable even if he feels heavy and full and there is still the worry that he did something wrong by eating. “Will you two please tell me what is going on?”

Robin looks unsure as she glances at Rogers. Rogers leans closer “What do you remember. And take your time. Maybe something else came back?”

Ccino frowns as he concentrates “I was at the council meeting with god king Nim… They were discussing plans about how she wanted to take over Ironfields. Invade and concur. They spoke about how the timing was off for it as the twins are on their way and-” He freezes “She wanted… she wanted… To pass on her crown… as soon as they were born.” Both Robin and Rogers look up shocked. Ccino feels his breathing pick up a bit as memories flash through his mind “I… I panicked… I spoke out…” He can’t believe… How did he? How did he manage? “It…” he remembers how his mind and soul had felt on fire. To go against what he was ordered to do. To just support and serve. To stand against it. “It hurt but… She wanted to… take their lives away again. Before they even had a chance to be and… and…” he frowns “Then it went black…” He looks at his two friends “How am I still alive?” Or better why isn’t he locked up? Why does he still have his tongue or his ability to speak? Why is he still comfortable after that?

Robin presses a little bit “And that was all? Nothing after that?”

Ccino shakes his skull “I… I think more happened? But I wasn’t all there? I felt…” he frowns “There was this rage… but it wasn’t… her rage…” he knows what her emotions feel like. The way she forces them all to feel it. To know what she feels at all times and to take that into account. “It felt different… I am just sure it wasn’t hers…”

Robin nods and looks at Rogers “I wasn’t there myself but Rogers was.”

Rogers nods “I was guarding the door.” Ccino nods as he remembers him standing there when he followed their king inside “And I am not sure about the details. I just know we heard Nim yell and so we entered.” Ccino frowns. Rogers, and Robin for that matter, never risked referring to Nim with just Nim.

“We ran in and let me tell you. It was insane. There was magic everywhere. Nim was burning brighter than the sun. But you just stood there. In the middle of the inferno but something was off. The way you were standing wasn’t like you. It was much more hostile. Your sockets were alit with magic. This yellowish green. Like newly grown leaves.” Ccino just stares in shock. Him… magic? Rogers continues “You were speaking but it wasn’t your voice. It was something else we think. It spoke about how Nim wasn’t worthy of the power she had abused. Of the title she had unrightfully gotten. It spoke about how she didn’t deserve you Ccino.”

Ccino blinks as he is starting to get a sinking feeling.

Rogers grins at him “How she is no longer allowed to be near either you or your twins. And it called them yours, not hers. And then…” Rogers seems to look for words as he glances at the walls “You know how we all talk about how the walls seem almost tree like in nature? How we always compare it to roots, or vines, or tree trunks or something like that?” He waits until they both nod and then he continues “The very floor shifted. It split apart and roots started to climb up Nim. Even as she tried to burn them nothing happened. She shot a fire ball at you Ccino but a vine was lightning fast as it intercepted it. Rendering it useless… The… the floor, the castle itself, swallowed Nim whole.”

Ccino stares at his hands. His mind spinning. It… It… Why did It… after Ccino… Why?

“Obviously. After that it was chaos. You stood frozen for a few more moments before you fell over unconscious. The very roots that had pulled Nim into the ground caught you instead and laid you down carefully on the ground. Someone in the guard walked closer with a raised weapon and a vine impaled him.” Rogers stresses the word “Again, chaos. Then… the priest spoke up. Said that it must have been the power. The very thing granting their kings the power to become god. And that by it rejecting Nim it showed that Nim had failed it but by granting you mercy it must still see a future in your twins… Or something like that, honestly at the time I was in shock.” Rogers shrugs a little “After that I offered to bring you to a room to rest. They had looked at me like I was insane but I figured if whatever this was wanted to protect either you or the twins it wouldn’t hurt me as I never wanted anything but you all to be okay and healthy.” He looks a little smug “And I was right, as I was allowed near without issue and was allowed to carry you out…”

Robin speaks up next “This is when I met up with you two. But the vines themselves locked away other rooms and entrances. It kept people away. We got lead to this room, your room. We have been taking turns to remain by your side as the other works and sees what is going on and happening.”

Ccino’s mind is spinning. What is he supposed to think? He thought that It. He isn’t even sure what he thought anymore or what he was supposed to think.

He is confused.

That is a good summary of how he feels. Confused.

Ccino stares down “It… doesn’t make sense…” None of this does.

Rogers and Robin share a look as Robin smiles “Maybe whatever the power is saw you are actually good? A good person? And decided to want to help you?”

Ccino shakes his skull as he glances to the side. He eyes the door but it is closed and he knows his room is secure, Killer and him were never caught after all and they used to hang out in his room before Ccino moved to Nim’s permanently…

And if… if It truly is helping him… then It won’t let anyone hear this conversation… right? They never heard him in the tunnels and that has to be It’s doing…

Ccino speaks softly “It… doesn’t make sense because… I was sure It was mad at me…” There.

Rogers and Robin both look confused before Robin’s eyes widen “You know what the power is?”

Ccino shakes his skull “No… I never knew what It was… I just knew It was there…” he rubs his arms “It used to… help… Remember how I… would show up in places? Very quickly? That sometimes I just seemed to disappear and reappear? Remember how ages ago I told you I used a tunnel that you knew didn’t exist?”

Robin gives a slow now. Her eyes wide in shock. Ccino nods “It… would make these tunnels. Or small staircases or areas I could climb up or down. Small pathways all around the castle. It was easy to get places as the tunnels were always only one path. No turns or twists. Just a straight path from A to B which was much quicker than should have been possible…”

Rogers frowns “If this being helped you… why did you think they were mad at you?”

Ccino looks down at his hands and mutters “It made them sick… It caused the sickness that fell over them…”

There is a silence as Ccino feels the grief as strongly as always. He misses his twins so much. He knows that Nim said their souls are within his now but Ccino doesn’t believe it, he can’t let himself start to hope to see them again only to not see them. He can’t do that to himself. He can also not do that to his babies. He will only get a short time to meet them, if he is lucky and his soul manages to hold on for a bit longer, he needs to shower them with love and affection when he can. Need to make sure those two new souls feel loved and cared for.

“What if it wasn’t against you?”

Ccino blinks and looks up at Rogers.

Rogers is still frowning as he speaks “Everyone knew that the twins died and that Nim let it happen. We all heard the statement she made that the twins had gotten weak and sick and unworthy of the title as her heir… but that was her choice…” Rogers gives him a sad smile “Am I right?”

Right… Ccino had been the only one of the three of them who had been close to the twins before. Robin worked with the other maids mainly and Rogers hadn’t even been working here at that point…

Ccino nods and quietly tells them about how Nim had the option to help them. To give them strength to recover but that she denied them that.

Rogers nods as he speaks “I think… Maybe it wasn’t something against you or your twins… But against Nim. A test maybe?” He looks sheepish “I won’t lie and say I know how gods or deities or spirits work. But… Maybe it wasn’t meant to hurt you or them… maybe it was just meant to be some sort of test for Nim? Which she failed horribly in a way that went much worse than it expected?”

Ccino frowns as he pulls on his own hands slightly. Making the joints between his fragile bones stretch “It… it doesn’t matter… what do I do now?” How is he supposed to deal with this? People will want answers and he doesn’t have them!

Robin shrugs “Just let the priest figure stuff out.”

Rogers looks disapproving at her “Robin.”

Robin glances back at him “What? I am serious. We don’t know the answers and no one is going to expect us to know. Ccino went unconscious which could mean many things. They are not going to risk his or the twins health. Especially not with the deity having made clear that it does not approve of anyone harming Ccino, or the twins.” She crosses her arms “I say. We focus on making sure you” she looks at Ccino “And your twins are healthy while we just pay attention. We stick nearby, act invisible as they all want. Let them forget we are nearby and than we just listen. We will pay attention to what they say.”

Ccino just feels more unsure “And what if they do demand me to do stuff? What if they see this as a sign that I… I… Like have those stupid powers?! I can’t do magic!” He stresses the words and feels his voice go higher with his panic.

Rogers taps his chin and shrug “Just say stuff? Say you haven’t heard a specific message yet. That for now it means that they want everyone to follow what they said before.”

Ccino turns slowly to Rogers “You want me to just… use the situation?!”

Rogers makes a so-so sign “Just a little. Just enough to make sure you are safe. Again, only if they start demanding you give them answers.”

Ccino covers his face “This is going to end horribly.”

Robin hums as she pushes him to lay down and tugs him in “Maybe. But you are alive. You are awake. Your twins are still with you, and Nim is gone. I think that means you can take a moment to just rest. Sleep peacefully knowing nobody will come and ruin it for you.” she smiles “We will just have to see what happens. But if we play our few cards right we can make this work in our adventage.”

Ccino looks unsure “But we don’t have any kind of power here… At all.” Just like always they are powerless.

Robin grins “Not exactly. We have one very powerful card at least. That is that we know you don’t have any true connection to it. I have heard them mutter about it picking you as vessel while it waits for the new god-king to be born. Others say that Nim was never the other parent but the power itself was.”

Ccino shoots her a look at that one as he knows that is not how soullings are made and everyone knows that. Robin grins “The point is. Everyone is confused. Everyone is looking for answers and any answer is possible. You didn’t just reshuffle the deck Ccino. You changed out the entire game… and everyone thinks you are the only one with the rulebook. Use that. Use them thinking you know even if you don’t.”

Ccino frowns as he considers it. He still isn’t a fan of lying. But if he words stuff right… if he is vague… maybe?

Rogers nods “But that is for later. I am going to stand guard for the next shift while Robin works. Do you need anything?”

Ccino shakes his head but even then Robin still promises to bring him something to drink that is nutritious. Ccino is noticing a very suspicious absent of the injector and magic vials and Ccino is pretty sure that either Robin or Rogers made it disappear. Maybe they loudly questioned if the power of the god-kings would approve or just any magic being injected into the one carrying the next generation…

Ccino snorts as he rolls up in his blanket. It is soft. It is familiar. The door closes as his two friends leave to work.

Ccino glances up at the ceiling before he mutters “I… I am sorry… I just… it hurt a lot to lose them… It was easier to blame you and ignore you… than to admit that only Nim was at fault and knowing I could do nothing to get rid of the anger and fear and… I am sorry… I know it is a bad excuse and…” rustling.

Ccino glances upwards and sees a lot of tiny flowers start to bloom. All along the ceiling and top of the bedposts. The flowers themselves are full and seem to have double blossoms. He can’t quite see in the low light but thinks they may be pink? Carnations? Maybe…?

Ccino yawns as he falls asleep. For the first time in a long time feeling a little bit safe. He is okay… It is okay...

--

He glances over the wall and quickly ducks down again. Shit more guards.

Seriously did that abusive asshole up the guards again?! Honestly you would think she is insecure with the amount of guards.

He huffs as he glances around. He could double back and go through the garden again. Use the bushes as cover as he makes his way to the castle…

He sighs as he rubs his cheek, flicking the tar like tears off of his hand. This is such a mess… It never was this hard to sneak in before. Killer can know as he used to do this monthly! And the only reason he didn’t do it more often was because he and Ink had work and missions to do!

Killer sees his chance and rushes behind some guards. He manages to get past the first open space and quickly dives into one of the servant tunnels to get into the cellar.

Killer is a fucking idiot.

He had been miserable for the last month. Just staring ahead and be distracted. It had come to an end because Ink, INK, had told him that if he wanted to see his boyfriend so badly he should just go to him.

So now Killer is here, right in the capital sneaking into the castle to see if he can beg and gravel enough to get Ccino to give him another chance.

Killer is still mentally working on his apology. He hasn’t come much further than admitting he is a coward and an idiot.

Ccino had asked him to stay, and Killer had said no. You know. Like an asshole.

But then Killer had the fucking nerve to feel hurt when Ccino asked him to not return. No Killer said no to giving Ccino even the tiniest bit of comfort and support while he was struggling but Killer got sad that Ccino didn’t want to also risk more trouble if Killer was discovered.

Killer pops his skull out of the panel and glances around. Wine barrels all around but no actual people. Killer climbs out of the tunnel and carefully and quietly closes the panel again. He inches towards the ladder and slowly climbs it.

Killer had left, as asked, and been sad and miserable. Worse that with time it became painfully obvious that Killer had truly valued his own freedom over the time he spend with Ccino, as if those can not go together.

How selfish is he? That Killer is unwilling to let Ccino choose his own freedom? But makes sure Killer keeps it himself?

Killer gets out of the cellar and glances around the hall. He goes from shadow to shadow as he tries to move quietly but remain on the move. It is important that he doesn’t stop. If he stops he can be spotted and discovered. Movement is your friend in this situation.

Killer truly can’t stand the idea of living in a world without Ccino. And because Killer is weak and a coward he denied Ccino his own freedom. He denied him the chance to live.

Killer had figured… That even if Ccino was stuck here that he could keep visiting him. Keep bringing him gifts and presents. Little pieces of the world that Killer himself was keeping him away from.

Killer groans as he puts his face into his hands “Focus focus. Just. Focus. Get to his room.” Prison “And just… Make it okay!” Well not okay… “Okay. Make it a bit better!” He just wants to see him so badly. He wants to hear him speak. Even if it is to shout at him!

Killer’s mind hisses at the very thought. Ccino would never. He is too kind and an actual good person. Even when Killer denied him everything he wanted each time over and over he was always nice. He is too nice.

This fucking world does not deserve him… Killer doesn’t deserve him.

Killer glances around the corner and rushes over towards the next hallway. This part sucks as he just needs to run to get there.

He still isn’t sure how to tell him he is sorry. That the truth was that he was terrified of losing the person he was. That he was afraid that staying in the castle would make him lose himself. That he is sorry that he wasn’t strong enough. It wouldn’t have even been forever! Ccino… had already been…

It had been a matter of time…

He could have handled it. He should have been able to handle it!

He finds the door and grins. Finally. It is tugged away deep in the castle. Only one door and no windows. The fact the door is only lockable form the outside still gives Killer the bad shivers. He kneels down and takes out his lock picks. A push here and-

The door opens immediately.

Killer sits frozen for a moment but no one walks out. He frowns and nudges the door open…

Only to find the room completely empty.

Killer stares.

No. No no no… There is no way. There is no way he is… gone… there is no way!

Maybe… Maybe Nim was being a freak again? An asshole and a rapist and abuser? Maybe Ccino was in Nim’s room? Because Nim was a piece of shit and wanted to hurt him?

Killer rushes down the halls again. New destination clear in mind.

It was a risk to go through the castle instead through the outside but he needs to see him. Please. Please still be okay. Don’t make him have lost him already. He thought… He had hoped he would have at least a little while. To hold him and actually be there for him for once. To feel that love a little bit longer even if Ccino hated him now.

He rushes past guards and can’t help but notice there are a lot more guards than usual. There is a nervous energy in the air and Killer just pushes his limbs to move faster.

He finally finds the king’s room and he listens. He hears nothing. He sees no bright light under the door… He unlocks this door and pushes the door open.

The room is familiar… but empty again.

He wants to cry. No please. He knows… he knows he doesn’t deserve it… he knows he ruined the most beautiful thing and he ever had and his soul hurts. But he had just wanted to see him… to apologise and at least try to be there for the other. At least for a little bit.

He rubs his sockets to wipe the stupid tears away. No. Don’t. You aren’t allowed to do that. You don’t deserve to be sad about it when you are part of the cause of it.

Footsteps and he glances around. He rushes towards the balcony and pretty much launches himself out of it. He grabs some vines and hangs there silently. There is silence before the door is closed again.

Okay. What now? Killer has no idea what to do now. He hadn’t considered the thoughts that maybe Ccino would be gone already….

He sighs as he leans his skull against the wall.

This he does deserve. To live with this regret for the rest of his life.

He sighs as he glances around before noticing something… There is a rose growing on the vine… That is new. He leans backwards a bit and notices that the roses are following one direction specifically. It takes him a moment but he ends up following. May as well and his curiosity is peaked.

He ends up climbing along the wall of the tower which leads to be almost above the courtyard. He follows it back down a bit as his mental map of the place shifts to give him a general idea of where he is and-

The flowers bloom most by a very, very, small balcony… One he knows so well.

Ccino and him used to sit there, hidden by darkness and the banister. Talking and laughing softly until deep in the evening. He gave Ccino their first kiss right there…

Killer ends up standing there as he glances inside.

There is a shadow in Ccino’s bed. His soul speeds up and he rushes inside.

He is here. The light feeling in his soul is overwhelming. It is too much and he dashes towards the bed. To be by his side. He smiles and sits down on the bed and checks his face. He is asleep. He looks exhausted but he is here and alive and Killer could cry!

Ccino hums sleepily as his sockets open just a bit and they are staring at one another. Killer holds his breath as Ccino looks confused at him “Killer?” he sounds so tired.

Killer feels any hesitation melt away when Ccino just looks at him. There is not a smitch of hate on his face. Just soft confusion. Killer smiles as he carefully wraps his arms around the other “Hey… I am here…” He is here.

Ccino stares at him before a soft smile covers his face. It is beautiful. Ccino hums as he pushes close into his arms “Mmh… This is my favourite dream…”.

It takes a moment before Killer can focus on what he said over how adorable that sleepy voice is and how much Killer missed hearing it.

A dream?

Killer chuckles as he nuzzles him “A dream?”

Ccino hums again as he relaxes in his hold “Yeah… that is the only time you are here… when you are back…” his eyes are closed and he looks so relaxed “When you love me…”

Killer freezes as he pulls him closer “I do love you. I love you so much.”

Ccino however doesn’t seem to wake up more. Instead he just pushes himself fully against him as he smiles contently.

Fully believing this is nothing but a dream… and Killer can’t even blame him… Killer hardly ever made it obvious how much he loves him after all. It wasn’t even clear to Killer for a long time…

Killer is a selfish person. He has known that for a long time now. But as he holds Ccino, someone so beautiful both inside and outside. Someone so caring and too good for this world. Someone Killer does not deserve to have look at him. Killer realises it once again.

Ccino rarely asked for things. And then one time he actually asked for something? It had been to be free with Killer. And when Killer didn’t want to give that to him, when Killer denied it even after offering it? Because he had been scared of his own reaction, his own impulsive decision to offer the idea of running away to Ccino. Killer had later on be relieved that Ccino hadn’t agreed. As it has been an impulsive action and offer. Killer didn’t even have an idea on how to help Ccino escape… Only for Ccino to later say he did want to do it. Risk it all. Die after only a month or two? It they were lucky? Hearing that caused panic in tow different ways; one, it brought back to shock and fear of how his own feelings and emotions had changed; but two, the fear of waking up one day knowing that Ccino was gone.

He denied Ccino’s one wish to escape. He denied Ccino his own choice to escape and be free. To do with his life what he wanted. Killer still can’t believe he did that… That Ccino didn’t hate him for it afterwards…

Then, as if that wasn’t the worst, the second thing Ccino ever asked for anything. It was simply for Killer to stay with him as he had been scared. Killer had choosing his own freedom over Ccino’s needs. Ccino had understood. Never blamed him. But Killer is scum.

Two things. That is all Ccino ever asked of him. Just two things. And he did neither.

Killer pulls Ccino close. Ccino isn’t even fully awake. Fully believing that Killer is just a dream his tired and desperate mind called up. Killer still whispers promises to him. That Killer will stay this time. That he isn’t going anywhere. He will actually be there when Ccino wakes up.

Killer does not deserve any of the love Ccino offers him. But at least he can start trying to be worthy of it.

It is even worse to see that glass rose right there. On the nightstand. Nearby and still looking pristine. Ccino kept it. After everything… with all the trauma and fear and hurt he was forced through again, by Killer as well, he still kept it.

Killer softly kisses the top of the skull before frowning. Wait… does Ccino even still want him to do this? Is he allowed? He doesn’t… he shouldn’t do this until he gets the okay. It is unfair to just take. But that is what Killer does isn’t it? Just take and take and take…

Not this time.

Killer had already made too many mistakes when it came to them and their situationship. Killer wants to kiss his face all over but stops himself as he mutters instead “It is okay… I am not leaving you this time.” He had spent quite a while thinking. Realising his mistakes and how he had just…

It hadn’t started with feelings. Don’t get him wrong, he had been attracted to Ccino from the start and how could you not?! The problem was. It had started as a game. Try to break into the palace of the god-king. The person who had been worshipped by the people where he grew up. The people who told him he was nothing. It was to prove he was better, he could sneak right into the heart of her castle and be fine.

So breaking and entering had been a game between jobs with Ink. It was to feel good about his skills. The fact he managed to find Ccino? Had just been nice. It has been fun to hang out with him and laugh.

It had been another win for him. Being this close to one of Nim’s dear special harem mates. And Ccino was great! Ccino was nice and sweet and always so interested in the stories he told him.

He had seen it as him winning when Ccino didn’t reject him. When they had spent the night together…

It wasn’t until… Until Killer learned that Ccino very much did not like Nim at all. That he was forced to be with her and how much it bothered him.

And he just treated their sex as something fun on the side. He had treated their whole thing as something casual that meant nothing!

He is an asshole.

Killer nuzzles the skull as he mutters “I swear I will be better now. I promise you… I promise I love you. I really do… It just took me a while.” Because he is an idiot. Because he was blind and scared for what he felt. That he couldn’t see how much he loved him.

Killer knew Ccino loved him. Pretty quickly after spending more time together with him to offer some support. To have Ccino lean against him and be honest about how he was feeling and how tough it was. It made him feel special. That show of trust showed Killer exactly how Ccino felt about him. Killer at least had cared enough to not break his heart while he was being vulnerable. At least Killer managed to offer support even if, at the time, he had thought he didn’t love Ccino.

Shows again how much of an idiot Killer had been. Killer had loved the other for a long time. It just wasn’t until he was send away, a very reasonable request after Killer once again denied him his freedom, that it started to hurt.

Killer had felt like he was going insane. Ccino was all he could think about. Other options and ideas kept popping into his mind to save him. Or things he should have said or offered instead. Hell! Even Ink noticed!

So here he is now. Back right in the lion’s nest so to speak. For the first time in months feeling completely happy and content as he holds the other. As if things are finally making sense again.

He lays his head on top of Ccino’s. Feelings of being content spreading through his soul and body as he relaxed. It feels good to be by his side again. Killer whispers again “I promise you I won’t fail you again. This time I will be by your side and help you.” He already wasted so much time with being a coward. With being an asshole. Not anymore. Not now.

He gets to enjoy this peace for a little while. Just listening as he holds his… well not partner or boyfriend. Killer doesn’t know everything about relationships but he knows enough to figure out that Killer rejecting Ccino’s two wishes to remain together and Ccino sending him away probably equals that they euh… Can you break up from a relationship that isn’t officially a relationship?

It doesn’t matter. Even if Ccino doesn’t even want to look at him anymore. That is okay. Killer is going to do things right this time. To support him and be there for him. For as long as Ccino lets him and when he is gone…

Well… That will be time for Killer to have to deal with what he did. Remember all their times together and regret not having done things right sooner. Regret all the time he wasted.

But that is for later. He now has to focus on the other. For once not put someone else’s emotions, wants and needs first.

Footsteps…

Slowly coming closer.

Killer opens one of his sockets as he glances at the door. It won’t take long before whoever is coming closer will be here. Killer smiles softly at Ccino and whispers to him as he puts their skulls together “Don’t worry okay? I am going to do things right. I am not leaving you.” Let Nim come. Killer has a surprise for her. A tri-dagger. It took Killer a while to get one but these are supposed to leave very lethal wounds.

He plans to not just make one either.

The door opens and Killer remains still. His dark sockets making him look to part of being out cold. Let them come close and strike- that isn’t Nim.

Instead there stands a guard. Who stares at him before they speak furiously “What the fuck are you doing?!”

A few things happen at once. Killer is up on the headboard instantly, perched easily as he takes out his special knife. Damn, he had hoped for no witnesses as that always messes things up.

The guard has their own weapon drawn and out. Aimed right at the bed, and Killer specifically. But Killer doesn’t care about that. How fucking dare that asshole aim that thing anywhere near Ccino?!

Ccino looks around confused and he looks actually awake now. He glances around before Killer sees him focus on him “Killer?”

The guard sputters “That is Killer?!” then the guard quickly closes the door before glaring at Killer “If it isn’t the useless ex.”

Ccino flinches and Killer glares but he stashes the knife. Ccino isn’t even looking at him anymore thanks to that asshole.

Killer huffs “And you are the asshole who wakes up an obviously tired pregnant guy. Way to be considered.”

Ccino isn’t looking at either for them as he toys with the blanket. The guard nears them and Killer is glaring.

Worse is when the guard helps Ccino fully up right and makes sure the blanket is still around him. Killer hates this guard. He hates them so much.

The guard huffs as they stare at him after they are done moving Ccino around “What are you even doing here? I thought you ran with your tail between your legs when you were asked for the tiniest bit of commitment.”

Ccino glares at the guard “Rogers.” he hisses.

Killer is trying to slow his breathing. Ccino… Ccino wouldn’t have said that. At least never with those words. Their own conclusion maybe? Killer sees Ccino glance at him before looking away immediately.

Rogers looks unapologetic “What? It is the truth.” He glares back at Killer.

Killer glares right back “It is none of your concern.” He carefully sits back down on the bed. He wants to pull Ccino into another embrace. He used to do that all the time but is he allowed to do that still? He was never this conscious about his moves before right? Why does it feel like he isn’t allowed to do any of it anymore?

Right… because he left…

The guard, Rogers apparently, glares at him “None of that. Away from Ccino and the bed.” He nods towards the side “I think we all here know you can not be trusted.”

Ccino shoots Rogers a look as Killer glares at the guard. This fucking asshole.

Ccino mutters “It is fine… If he wants to sit there it is fine…” Killer can’t help but puffs up his chest a little at that. Take that asshole! Killer is allowed!

Rogers frowns at Ccino “Is that something you want? Or is it something you are saying because he wants it?”

Killer feels his soul freeze at that as he glances at Ccino. It is because Ccino wants it right?

Ccino doesn’t look up as he just messes with his blankets.

Right?

Killer goes to reach towards Ccino but Ccino tenses.

No… please no…

Killer isn’t sure what to do. He doesn’t know what to say to make this right. Please. Please he is so sorry.

A hand grabs his shoulder and Killer yelps as he is pulled off the bed. Killer glares at Rogers as Ccino stares at him “Rogers?”

Rogers grins at Ccino “I am just going to talk with him. It is okay. This is stressing you and your twins out.”

Ccino frowns but doesn’t go against it. Rogers mentions that some Robin will come bring him food later and that Ccino still has some time to relax. Then Rogers drags him outside of the room.

They are left standing in a brightly lit hall. Rogers sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes. He mutters about things getting even more complicated.

Killer glares “What the fuck do you want?”

Rogers stops and stares at him “Seriously? You think that is what this is about? And not about the fact that you are toying with one of my friend’s feelings just so you can get your adrenaline kick in?”

Killer glances to the side and hisses through his teeth “It isn’t like that.” Not now. Maybe before but not anymore. This isn’t about… Well it is sort of still about what he feels and wants but it isn’t about having fun or something stupid! It is about Killer wanting to do what is right. To actually be there for someone who only ever loved him.

Rogers rubs his temper as he clearly thinks “Listen. If I had it may way? I would either give you to the other guards to deal with after mentioning you were trying to break into Ccino’s room. Kick you out of a window, or finish you myself. But I can’t.”

Killer snorts as he crosses his arms “You know you would lose I assume?” He feels smug.

Rogers looks at him as if he is an idiot “Because Ccino for some stupid reason still loves you and quite honestly I don’t want to hurt him by hurting you.”

Killer’s smile falls from his face.

Rogers sighs again as he glares down the hall. Clearly thinking for a moment before looking at him “Why are you here?”

Killer crosses his arms as he looks to the side. Feeling too exposed as he keeps glancing around the hall “It is none of your business.”

Rogers looks unimpressed “If it is about Ccino that automatically makes it my business.”

Killer glares back at Rogers “And why do you think that?! He isn’t yours!” He was barely Killer’s. And how badly Killer had wanted that to have been the case. He can accept that he doesn’t deserve Ccino or his love or to call him his. But he is not going to accept some random guy saying Ccino is his! Killer refuses to accept that! If Ccino is going to be anyone’s Ccino is going to be… well… Ccino’s!

Rogers glares right back “Because I am his friend. And unlike you Robina dn I actually give  ashit about how he feels and try to help him.”

Killer glares “You don’t fucking know how I feel. Stop acting as if you do.”

“You left him once before. And I quite honestly don’t know if he can pull himself together if you do it again.”

Killer stops when he hears that. Rogers doesn’t even look smug about making him quiet. Rogers just looks tired. Rogers stares at him “At this point there are only two options as any other option would hurt him. Either you go now. Say you just wanted a chance to clear stuff up and say goodbye. You actually end this whole thing fully and reasonable. Or, if you decide to stay. You stay. You stay with him and help him until the end.” Rogers sighs as he rubs his face “God knows he deserves to have something he wants for once.”

Killer feels himself grow angry again “I wasn’t going to leave. I came back for a fucking reason you asshole. And it has nothing to do with what you said. I wanted to be with him.”

Rogers raises an eyebrow as he looks so unimpressed “Really? And what about your past track record would have been a clue for that option?”

Killer glares as he huffs “I am going to go back to Ccino now as this is a waste of precious time.” So precious. He already wasted so much. He can’t waste even more on some wannebe guard. He walks towards the door and Rogers stops him again.

Rogers speaks softly “He has gone through a lot. Just… Don’t add more stress to him.” He lets go and goes to stand by the wall across from the door. Seemingly to do his guard duty.

Killer enters the room again and sees Ccino look up and the anxious face transforms into surprise “Killer? You are… still here?” The surprise. The disbelieve.

Killer rushes to his side and slowly climbs back on the bed and very slowly reaches over. Ccino is still as Killer wraps his arms around him. Holding him close before frowning. He feels cold… Killer grabs the blanket and tugs it closer around Ccino “Fuck you are freezing… do you want to take a bath? Warm up a bit?” or are there clothes around? Maybe a nice warm sweater would be nice. He still feels so thin. Aren’t these guys feeding him still? Killer should have grabbed food along the way. Something for Ccino to enjoy, and maybe as a peace offering.

Ccino just stares at him “Why are you here?”

Killer gives an uncertain smile, he kicks down the instinct to look away, to not have to see Ccino look at him. Instead he answers “Honestly… I missed you.”

Ccino gets a small smile before it falls, it is gone before it was even fully there. He looks down and mutters “I don’t… I didn’t… I thought…” He frowns and stops.

Killer leans against him as he tries to share his own body heat with him. Killer wishes he hadn’t been a skeleton monster. Skeleton monsters have terrible heat preservation in their bodies. Killer just hums as he rubs his arms to try and get some heat into him. Even if Killer doesn’t interrupt it seems the Ccino still ends up not saying a lot. Instead he just leans into the hold.

They sit silently for a moment before Killer snorts “Your friend? Rogers? He hates me.” He makes sure to grin and look amused.

Ccino winces “He doesn’t hate you.” he pauses before sighing “He just… doesn’t approve I think?”

Killer snorts as he hugs him “Nah. He approves anything that makes you happy. He just hates my guts.” Which he deserves. “Which is fine btw. I am not scared of a guy glaring. Just…” He shoots Ccino a look “He never like.. tried anything right?” Because if he did they would have issues.

Ccino frowns before looking highly amused “Rogers? Try anything? Nah. I am pretty sure he isn’t into that whole thing. He cares about Robin and me but we are friends. I think Rogers has zero interest in either relationships or sex. I think he is going to end up marrying his job if he has any choice…” Ccino looks thoughtful “Same for Robin honestly.”

It calms Killer as he snorts “You know what? Fair enough.” He leans his skull against Ccino and waits for a moment “Is this okay? I know… I know I was a jerk… and asshole… I shouldn’t have left. I am sorry I abandoned you and… It is totally okay if you don’t want me to hug you anymore.” It is okay. Just… open communication. He can say if he is uncomfortable and Killer will respect the boundaries he sets. Easy!

Ccino glances at him. He looks confused “I… don’t think you were being a jerk? And this is fine. Really. It is nice… It is nice to have someone near.” He has a small smile on his face.

Killer however is stuck on the first thing he mentioned. “How can you…” Not hate me. Not be disgusted with me “Say I was not rude? I abandoned you.”

Ccino frowns at him. Still some confusion on his face “But… you didn’t?” He must see something on Killer’s face as his confusion becomes a gentle smile. He raises a hand and rubs Killer’s cheek and Killer leans into the hand “Hey… Just because we had different expectations doesn’t mean you abandoned me… You were not responsible for my wellbeing Killer. I never saw you as responsible for that. It would have been unfair to place such expectations on you.” He smiles at him.

Killer frowns “But… you wanted me to stay. And I just left.” The hurt on his face. The sad expression is burned into Killer’s memory.

Ccino just keeps smiling sadly “It is true… I wanted you to stay… But that is just it Killer. It is what I wanted. And you didn’t want it. It would have been unfair of me to expect something of you that you didn’t want. To expect you to be miserable for my comfort.” Ccino smiles at him “I never meant for you to feel responsible for me Killer. If… if you want to leave. That is okay.” he smiles.

Killer can see it. Ccino means it. There is not a smidge of doubt on his face.

Killer holds him close. Feels the other against him as he mutters “I want to stay. With you specifically. It can be anywhere as long as I am with you. I had needed time, I think, to see that. To understand that.”

Ccino hums as he leans into his hold. His own arms still shielding his sternum. Where his soul lies, where his soullings lie. “I get it. A lot happened in a very short time. It was overwhelming you.” and he gives another smile.

What did Killer do to get him to love him? Honestly what was it? Killer doesn’t know. He tries it again “I just… it feels…” he takes a deep breath “It felt like such an asshole thing. It wasn’t a big deal… I could have stayed to give you comfort and support… and I just ran away. Scared for my own comfort.”

Ccino just keeps looking at him gently “I will just be repeating myself but… it is true. I know before I even asked it that it would be unfair to ask of you to stay. To ask you to give up something you loved.” Ccino looks amused “I am not an idiot Killer. I know you loved traveling. And I am aware of that what you do isn’t exactly legal.” Killer feels sheepish and it must show as Ccino just looks more amused “I knew it means the world to you.” he lays his hand on Killer’s hand “It is also part of why I asked you to not return, when you didn’t want to stay. I knew it would be more dangerous and just unsafe for you to remain. I knew security would be higher with the heirs on their way. I will admit it was partly to help me…” Ccino laughs as he rubs his cheek. His smile turning sadder as he speaks “It isn’t your fault that I got more emotionally invested into something that was just supposed to be fun.” He looks sad by the admission.

Killer hugs him closer to him. feel the curve of the other’s spine against his front “I love you.”

Ccino sighs “You don’t need to lie Killer. I know that Rogers… he probably told you to be nice because… well…” he chuckles “The twins will eventually cause my soul to burst.” He leans more against him “But I don’t want you to lie. I don’t want you to say or do stuff you don’t feel comfortable and happy with. Stuff you don’t want.” He smiles up at Killer “I am tougher than I look. I won’t break that easily.”

Killer puts his skull against Ccino’s “Ccino.” It feels so good to be close to him again “I came back because I wanted to be near you. Because I missed you and wanted a chance to make up for abandoning you.” He stares at him “I really do love you.”

He can see that Ccino hears him.

He can also see that Ccino doesn’t believe him.

Ccino sighs but leans into his arms as he just rests.

Killer frowns but holds him. It is to be expected. Killer hasn’t exactly acted like someone in love should. Killer will need to show he does love him. That he truly cares. That he isn’t just some past time or amusement.

They sit in silence and Killer hums “We will need to think of something about keeping me out of sight of Nim.” Maybe he can still join the guard? Or steal armour to look the part? That way he can blend in.

Ccino blinks and looks confused at Killer “Rogers didn’t tell you?”

Killer tilts his skull “Tell me what? And aside from telling me I was an asshole in many ways he didn’t say much.” No need to stress Ccino out about what the fact that Rogers threatened to end Killer. Not in that many words of course but it was implied!

Ccino rubs his cheek as he looks to the side. He looks… Awkward? “We don’t really need to worry about her anymore…”

Killer feels hope blossom in his soul “Did she finally lose her weird obsession with you? That is amazing news!” Ccino gets to relax and focus on himself! Maybe they can sneak in more food for him.

Ccino laughs as he looks downright sheepish “She… euh… Is dead.”

Killer blinks. He is happy of course. Fuck yeah that fucking freak and pedophile of a monster is finally gone! But… why does Ccino not look happy? And…wait…

Killer frowns “I thought the whole deal was that she could only like die by passing the magic stuff along? And well…” he looks pointedly at the sternum Ccino is still covering “I don’t think they can get magic when they are still soullings right?”

Ccino rubs his cheek “I mean… She didn’t… she was murdered?” He grins sheepish “I… may have indirectly caused her dead?” and he waits.

Killer knows he is staring.

By the stars Killer loves this monster.

--

Ccino told him what he knew after that.

Killer listened to the whole thing and stares in wonder up at the plants hanging above the bed now.

Now that he thinks about it. The last time he was in this room it was much more stone and marble. Everything felt cold and was a more greyish colour. Now the floors were a warm brown and clear wooden planks. The walls are a lighter brown and the branch like texture is clearer than ever and Killer thinks there are even some new tiny twigs growing. The bed is beautiful now as the posts are covered in light green vines and the top of the bed has an almost net of leaves with bright coloured flowers.

Ccino glances at him and rubs his hands “I know it must sound insane.” He looks sad.

Killer shakes his skull “No! I mean. It sounds strange but this country has been ruled by a family that did a shifty magic ritual to pass along a god magic type of deal that enables them to life anywhere between 500 and a 1000 years. To hear that this magic rebelled? It is not the strangest thing.” And more importantly “And I think… I may have kinda met it?”

Ccino stares at him in shock “What?!”

Killer holds up his hands “I didn’t know?! I just… The first time I snuck in? It was coincidence. I took a wrong turn.” He still remembers seeing Ccino. All dressed up and pretty. Light make up to highlight some of his features and clothes so bare that Killer hadn’t known where to look and afraid to move. Then Ccino had been sassy and humorous as he send him on his way? Killer is pretty sure he fell a little bit right then and there, and no he isn’t talking about his small trip out of the window, how he didn’t realise until later is beyond him.

The thing is. After that?

“It was the visits after. When I would try to sneak in to get to you.” it had been to prove that he was better, smarter? Than Nim. Getting to hang out with Ccino was the greatest bonus to that ever. “The thing is. I never knew beforehand where you were? I would be sneaking around and notice like… plants? Easy to climb vines. Small flowers that had bright colour to grab my attention?” It had been guiding him. Right to Ccino.

He grins at Ccino “It must have been trying to help us. A little?”

Ccino looks shocked as he looks down. His hand raised near his sternum. Killer thinks it is cute to see. The way that he seems to automatically seems to guard his soullings. Killer hums as he holds the other close.

Ccino is frowning “Maybe… I still don’t… understand why it made them sick… Why it made Nightmare and Dream sick.” He leans into his embrace.

Killer hums and shrugs “I don’t know… but maybe It had reasons that we just didn’t know. Seeing as It moved to defend you? Protected you and referred to the twins as yours? I think It may have had plans that we don’t understand.” Killer shrugs “Maybe It was trying to remove any of Nim’s magic and influence?” it is a guess.

Ccino gains a small smile “Maybe… it is strange… I just keep wondering if I did something to anger It. That I did something to make It mad and make It hurt the twins. That it was my fault in some way that they died.”

Killer holds him close “Hey.” Ccino flinches and Killer has none of it “No please Ccino look at me.” Ccino glances up. There is just guilt and grieve on his face. “Ccino. You did nothing but love those two. You did nothing but do your best to love them and make sure they were okay. You were not the one who failed them. You did what you could. It must have seen that too, It must have been aware of that.”

Ccino just looks sadder “Then why did I have to lose them? It hurts so much. I still miss them so much.” He sobs and laughs softly “I almost… I almost want to believe her. That she kept their souls and planted them in mine specifically. It feels like… It feels like I am fixing my past mistakes. That I can at least give them a chance at life as I failed and.” He sobs.

Killer holds him close. Just lets him cry. Killer doesn’t understand what Ccino is saying and implying but with how Nim is? How insane she was? Killer wouldn’t be surprised if she told him some wild story to make Ccino more complacent and willing. Killer will ask him later. For now? For now he will just hold him.

In the end Ccino just lays against him. Hiding his face in Killer’s shoulder. Breathing calming slowly as he seems to calm down. Killer just rubs his back. Some tiny part happy that Ccino trusts him enough to use him as support, and as shield for his soullings. It feels good. To be there for him. To actually help in some tiny way.

Ccino pulls away and chuckles as he wipes his face “Sorry for that… I know crying isn’t really… shouldn’t happen…”

Killer frowns “Why not?” he snorts as he motions towards the ever present tar like tears on his face “I literally do it all the time.”

Ccino looks slightly panicked “Oh no I didn’t! I didn’t mean for you! It is just… a thing.” He rubs his neck “Everyone, well not everyone but you get it, always told me to not cry. Something about it leaving marks and like stuff near the sockets? That it would make me less pretty and well Nim deserved the best.”

Killer groans “Fucking assholes all of them. Crying is good for you! It helps like soul and emotion stuff! If you keep it all bottled up it just hurts.” he swears if he hears anyone make a comment like that he is stabbing them.

Ccino looks a bit more unsure “Sorry… I just…”

Killer shakes his skull “Not against you Ccino.” He holds his hand “You did nothing wrong. I swear.” Ccino looks a tiny bit calmer.

Then the door opens.

A human woman walks in. She does not look impressed “No sex with the pregnant and weakened monster.” She walks over.

Ccino sputters and looks embarrassed “Robin! We weren’t!” he shoots Killer a look before just blushing more.

Robin hums as she walks over, she is carrying trays of food, “Don’t worry. Rogers gave me the run down.” She shoots Killer a look “Pleasure to meet the guy that Ccino used to sneak out of parties for. I hope you like fruit and dough as stuff like that is what is on the menu.”

Killer frowns “Not that I mind… but I thought meat as an export.”

Both Ccino and Robin look pained. Ccino is the one that answers “No… euh… So… Ever since Nim was gone and I have been like…” he searches for the words “Pretty much in an even worse lock down as I got the next generation of god-kings in me? The priest has spoken with me a lot. And well, I pretty much said I only really trust Rogers and Robin?”

Robin nods “Priest put us two in charge of making sure that Ccino is okay.” she looks deeply annoyed “Well the priest said specifically the heirs. But you get the jest.”

Killer frowns as he looks from one to the other “What was that to do with the meat situation?”

Robin sighs “Well, I got a list from the medics and healers about what is good for pregnant monsters and stuff.” She looks annoyed “As if I don’t know. Either way. I saw that meat was one of the things on the list so I went to the storage and decided to investigate what was around.” She shrugs at his questioning look “I was reading into which meat was best and healthiest for him. I wanted to see what was available and if I had to ration anything out…”

“That is how I found out our meat was imported from Whispering.”

Killer stares before he stares horrified “Holy shit… human meat?!”

Robin nods “Indeed!! Which… yeah. No.” Ccino nods in agreement as he looks slightly sick. “We have been going with vegetarian meals for Ccino now but that means a lot of different ingredients and stuff.”

Killer nods because holy shit. That is a lot. He never actually taste human meat, not even when he and Ink had a mission in Whispering.

Robin grins “Either way!” she puts down the bowls with oatmeal with all kinds of fruits. She sets down a plate with tiny rolls of cake like bread with a spread in the middle. She points at the oatmeal “Oatmeal with banana, strawberry and blueberries.” She points to the cakelike roll “Vanila sweet break roll.” She looks begging at Ccino “Just eat what you can. Put everything else aside for later okay?” she smiles as she gets up. Ccino says his thanks before she leaves them to eat.

Killer frowns “Does she always leave after giving food?”

Ccino looks embarrassed “No. Usually she eats with me… but well… you are here and… I guess she is giving us time to catch up.” He is blushing and looking away and to the side.

Killer feels his soul wiggle and flutter as Ccino looks so shy. To distract both of them he grabs a bowl and holds it up to Ccino as peace offering.

Ccino luckily takes it and starts to eat. He makes sure to eat the fruit first and Killer joins him. Makes sure the other doesn’t feel weird about eating alone and he tries to match Ccino. He eats a lot slower than Killer but he doesn’t mind.

Ccino actually starts to look a bit better as he seems to sigh happily with each bite. Clearly enjoying the food.

He pauses when the bowl isn’t completely empty as he shudders.

It is terrifying. To see the way that his cheeks seem to grow a little thinner. To see him start to shake as the heat in his body seems to leave him. Killer is quick to wrap the blanket back around him and puts his own jacket around him as well.

Killer looks anxiously at him. Ccino however is calm as he smiles. He has dark exhausted marks under his sockets now “The two little soullings need to eat… It isn’t exactly as if we are made to support two souls… It is hard to… have the nutrients and energy for both of them.” he waves around “It is why I stay here… I usually sleep a lot. Only waking to take a bath and to eat four times a day.” He laughs as he rubs his cheek.

Killer frowns “It was never this bad… before…” he thinks at least. He never saw the full thing.

Ccino shrugs “I used to get magic injections. It felt terrible and I hated them but. Well. It was much easier to keep up with the demand for magic that way even if I still didn’t eat. I prefer food though, even if I am almost always tired and don’t have any mana or magic or energy left for anything but the soullings.” He leans against him as he shudders.

Killer nods as he files that away to keep an eye on “Need to aly down and rest?”

Ccino shakes his skull as “No. I just. Need a moment to let them absorb magic. Then I should be able to eat a bit more… and well… I enjoy talking to you.” he smiles at him.

Killer chuckles as he nuzzles the skull by his own “I am not going anywhere Ccino. I swear.”

Ccino laughs as he nods and relaxes.

Killer hums as he thinks for a while before speaking “You know. I just thought of something?”

Ccino hums questioning.

Killer grins a little bit to himself “All I am saying is… Who says that Nim is the other parent you know?”

Ccino blinks at him confused “It are twins Killer.”

Killer nods “I know I know but. Hear me out. I am just saying. Everyone thought Nim is the other parent because everyone thought she was the only one you were intime with.” Which she truly had no right to “Maybe… Well… we were intime. And we are both skeletons and much more compatible. For all we know… Nim’s magic may have caused you to be able to carry and get twins… but maybe the twins weren’t made by her.”

Ccino frowns as he stares ahead.

Killer rubs his neck “I just… I thought… Maybe… if it aren’t your original twins… it is easier to think about them as twins that Nim had no influence over. That they were made from a night of” Love “consent and mutual fun.” He smiles.

Ccino stares at him and Killer suddenly gets another thought. What if it seems like Killer is trying to get a claim!?

“Obviously!! You are the parent! The real parent and like lawful parent! I mean!” Killer laughs nervously “We aren’t even married so they would  just be seen as your anyway and I would just be the babydaddy haha” even as he laughs his own sentence brings an image to mind he hadn’t thought about before. Ccino in wedding attire, would it be a dress? A suit? Maybe a curious combination?

Or maybe it would be one of the many other wedding rituals Killer knows of. Here you give the one you wish to marry a special wedding mask, either masterfully crafted or made by your own hands. Special markings to show the importance.

Other countries give rings and hold a party. To share a bond and celebrate it with those closest to the wedding pair.

Some other countries spend a few days tied to one another. To show they are connected and learn to truly work together. They end up wearing bracelets to signal this shared experience.

Ccino laughs softly, unaware of the absolute mess that Killer is now, he leans against Killer “It… is a nice thought… that Nim didn’t…” he sighs as he leans against Killer “But somewhere I also hope it really are Dream and Nightmare…”

Killer nuzzles him as sighs “That is okay. We will just have both options as the truth. If it truly are their souls in there it is them. If it turns out it aren’t them they are made of us instead.” He grins at Ccino “I just know they are going to be the most loved little babybones ever.”

Ccino stares in shock “Killer… I… If I am lucky I will get to meet them but that is it…”

It hurts to think. Killer focusses on the smile “You love them now… I think that counts.”

Ccino blinks before giving him a bright smile as he leans against him.

--

The whole day had been stressful.

The last month? Killer thinks it went by too fast. There isn’t enough time in the day to enjoy the time he gets to spend with Ccino. There isn’t enough time at night to hold the other close in a cuddle. There just. Wasn’t enough time.

And then his soul cracked. Ccino had been shaking silently and crying in pain. Not giving a kick even as the soullings broke his soul from the inside out. Too large.

It had been a miracle already. That it took so long before it happened. That Ccino’s soul had managed.

Something about the soullings having been very calm. Not pushing or pulsing within Ccino’s soul. Even if it meant that there was too little space and the two were stretching his soul the no movement kept things stable.

Doesn’t make this any better. Doesn’t make it better that he is this hurt now.

Killer had just held him. Held him close as the soulling separated completely.

And then the soullings just… left his body. Two bright little stars. Shining in the dark and quiet room.

Their bodies having been shaped with twin flashes or bright yellow and purple magic.

Leaving two tiny babybones behind.

Killer holds Ccino close as he shakes and shivers in his hold. Killer however is still in slight aw at the two babybones that Robin is slowly cleaning. He hadn’t thought… It was insane… The light the magic… shit…

Killer grins at Ccino ready to congratulate him when he realises that Ccino stopped shaking… stopped… breathing.

Killer feels everything go still “Ccino?” no response. Killer holds him closer and rubs his arm “Ccino… Ccino come on… please respond…” He… he knows what everyone said… that a monster soul can’t handle having two soullings at the same time… but it is Ccino! And he said these where his twins!

He lays completely limp against him. No movement at all.

Killer holds him close “Come on Ccino this isn’t funny…” please… please don’t do this… please don’t…

Killer glances down and he stops breathing. Small silvery dust slowly falling off of Ccino’s hand… his face is blank and peaceful.

Killer shakes “No… no no no no… Ccino please!” don’t… don’t leave him. He holds him close as he searches for any kind of sign of life. Anything at all.

There is none.

Killer shakes his skull as he mutters “come on… You need to still meet them. You wanted to see them so badly. Come on you need to be awake for that. You need to be aware for that.” Please. Please just one more moment. Just one more minute.

A loud inhale and Killer unwillingly looks away from Ccino only to stare. Large vines are slowly creeping towards where Robin and Rogers are holding the two tiny twins. From the ceiling they are falling.

No… No…

Killer looks around and spots some slowly creeping close to Ccino. The vines swipe the dust up and seem to absorb it?!

Killer holds Ccino closer and growls at whatever is there “No! No you don’t just get to… No!”

A moment of silence before Killer feels it. Emotions not his own. Silent insistence. A quiet demand. Almost like a parent. Telling you to put something down or give something back.

Killer shakes his skull again “He isn’t yours! You don’t just get to claim him.” it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair it isn’t fair!

The silent presence grows annoyed. Before a slight anger. Killer shudders under it as he holds Ccino. He isn’t letting him go. He isn’t giving this thing Ccino. Killer feels himself growl “No. You don’t get to act as if you have any right to him! You let him go through hell. You allowed that. You don’t get to act as if you have the best in mind for him now.”

Killer would hate to lose Ccino. He would hate more for Ccino to once again be claimed by something god like. To once again be trapped. He doesn’t deserve that.

Killer will grief for the rest of his life. But he is not letting Ccino go from one cage to the next. He isn’t going to let whatever it is take him and his twins.

Silence. Nudges at his mind and Killer shakes as flashes before his mind. Ccino for a moment. Smiling and happy. Another of him sad and alone. Then pictures of older people. Or people going from pretty to ugly. A silent demand.

Killer frowns as he looks around confused “What are you implying? That Ccino will grow older?! That is the whole fucking point! Him living! Him getting to actually be with his twins?! After everything?” He told them before. He isn’t leaving. He is going to stay with Ccino until Ccino wants him gone. And even then Killer will make sure to check in, from a distance of course. He won’t interfere in his life but he will make sure he is okay.

Silence again.

Then he sees the vines retreat from where Robin is holding both the twins close. Protecting them. Killer looks down and stares at lines of yellowish green magic slowly near Ccino.

He stares at the dusted hand is put back together dust particle by dust particle. Killer can see the shining outline of Ccino’s soul. The one that is broken into shards slowly melt back into one whole soul.

Ccino shudders and gasps as he looks around confused.

Killer holds his face “Ccino? Ccino please tell me it is you…?”

Ccino looks confused “Kill…Kills?” he shakes and looks around panicked “Where… where are…” he looks so scared.

Robin is quicker as she sits next to him and whispers “Look. They are both here.” She hands both of them to Ccino.

Ccino stares and laughs “It… it is them… it is really them… Nighty… Little Dream… They are both…” he sobs as he leans against Killer.

Killer just holds them. His soul still shaking as he glances around. Seeing that more flowers had grown.

Killer laughs as he hugs Ccino close. He feels his own normal tears mix with the tar normally leaking. He is so happy… He… he did at least something… He truly actually helped.

Maybe It had always been planning this. Maybe It was testing them. Maybe Killer managed to change It’s mind. Or maybe It just felt like doing this in the moment.

It doesn’t matter. Ccino is alive. Ccino is okay. That is all that matters.

Ccino looks happily at him as he raises the twins, he nudges one with purple eyes with a very tiny yellow center “This is Nightmare.” He raises the other, yellow eyes with a tiny purple center but with yellow freckles “This is Dream.”

Killer grins and gentle shakes both the twins hands “Well hello there. I hope I am making a good first impression.” Ccino giggles and leans at him.

It is okay.

--

Rogers and Killer lean against the wall together as Robin and Ccino are washing the twins. The introduction of the twins had gone well even if everyone had been shocked to see Ccino alive.

It is why Killer is confused that Rogers pulled him aside.

Rogers glances around the halls “The original plan had been to say Ccino and the twins all died.”

Killer blinks and looks over.

Rogers doesn’t look at him “Robin and I knew that Ccino wouldn’t survive. The two of us made a plan. I would guard as today and Robin would be with Ccino to help. Then, after Ccino got to hold his twins and after he became dust… well… we would just lie. We would just say that Ccino and the twins all died at the same time. That the twins would have been to weak to exit his soul. As I reported what I saw Robin would be getting the twins out with the growing confusion. I would meet up with her and the twins later.”

Killer is in shock.

Rogers shrugs “We figured… As soon as those people got their hands on the twins? There is no way they would have been allowed to just be kids. And that is all that Ccino wanted… we were planning on just taking them away from this all. To get them somewhere where they could just be kids.” He sighs.

Killer frowns “But… Ccino is still here. He will make sure they can be kids right?”

Rogers glances to him and Killer feels afraid. That is not a good look.

Rogers sighs “The priest figured that… With Nim gone… there isn’t a real way to get them the magic or something… and well. He is saying it as a sign that Ccino survived…” Rogers frowns as he looks to the side “Blood magic and sacrifice magic is the priest most skilled in.”

Killer feels his breathing speed up. He has seen these type of rituals and knows they are not limited to small animals.

Killer focusses on Rogers “What is the plan?”

Rogers rubs his head “That is the problem. There are too many guards. Too many people who can get something out of this and are sticking around. We had been planning to use the confusion to get out. There is no window now. There is no time.” He sighs.

Killer thinks before remembering someone he had heard of in passing in Whispering. “I may know someone. But I need to find him first.” He looks unsure “What do tell Ccino?”

Rogers nods “We can buy a bit more time as you look for this guy.” He glances at the door “I don’t… want to lie. But I don’t want to stress him out either. He is already anxious about taking care of the twins now.”

Killer frowns and nods “I will just tell him it is a job. I need to find Ink as well as he may know how to find this guy.”

Rogers sighs “I hope this works.”

“Me too.”

--

Robin pushes the basket into Killers hands before skipping over to Ccino. Ccino smiles at his best friend as Robin hugs him “I love you. Have a good trip. Make sure to rest and eat.”

Ccino snorts “We are just going to the meadow Robin.”

Robin hums “I know I know. I am just saying.” She looks him in the eye “Don’t worry about us. We got things handled. Enjoy.” She winks “We know where to find you if we need you.” she grins and bows to the priest and guards before walking away to do work.

Killer snorts “Is she always like this?”

Ccino nods “If she is in a good mood. She hadn’t been in such a good mood in a while though. I wonder why.” It isn’t a date as Robin just doesn’t do that. Maybe the cooks are making her favourite tonight?

Killer holds his hand as they walk towards where Rogers is waiting with the twins. He hands one of them to each other them. Killer coos as he nuzzles the tiny head “hello there Daydream. Being a little menace?” Dream babbles happily as he bites Killer’s fingers. Eyes large as he stares innocently at Killer as if he surely did not just bite Killer.

Killer nods “Ah yes. I don’t know where these random bites keep coming from. there is a mystery afoot.” Dream giggles.

Nightmare is still asleep. Little guy had a rough night with his teeth aching and is clearly tired.

The priest walks over “It was an amazing idea to go into the forest! To feel the power of the magic more closely to something connected to its source!”

Ccino nods. It hadn’t even been his idea. Rogers had offered that it would maybe be nice to have a day out. to have a picnic. Ccino had just spoken about how the magic was obviously related to something in nature and that maybe bringing himself and the twins to a spot with more nature would appease the magic more into interacting more with everyone. From there on it was easy to get people to agree.

Even if Ccino could do without the four guards following them. At least one of them was Rogers.

They get into the cart and Ccino switches twins with Killer. Killer leans back and lets Nightmare doze against him as Ccino bounces Dream as they look out of the window together. he can’t help but sneak looks at Killer.

Killer is so unbelievable good with the twins. And Ccino finds himself thinking more and more about what Killer offered as idea ages ago. How the twins could just be from them.

It is… almost easy to see them like that. Neither of them look at all like Nim. Nothing about them suggests they are Nim’s aside from them feeling warmer to the touch. But that is easy to blame on Ccino still recovering from the whole pregnancy and even getting them.

It is easy to act as if they are Killer’s.

They get to the edge of the forest and leave the carriage.

The walk through the forest is lovely. The weather had been turning colder lately but it is nice. New plants are growing and instead of the almost dried out plants everywhere it is a much softer green and everything smells amazing.

Ccino discovered that he loved the smell of rain. It had been a treat and he had sat with both his twins by the window just enjoying the sound and smell. It was so unlike anything he had experienced in a long time.

They get to the meadow and two guards make them wait as they enter it first. To search or something. Suddenly Killer is up in his business and Ccino snorts “Yes?”

Killer grins as he checks on Nightmare who is still asleep “That is good.” Then a hand covers both Dream’s eyes, who gives a surprised noise and moments later his own vision goes dark.

Ccino laughs “Killer I know the surprise already.”

The sound of choking and a moment later his view returns to him. There is dust next to Rogers on the ground as he cleans his sword.

Ccino’s mind pauses.

Killer looks sheepish “We agreed you had dealt with enough… seeing it would make it worse.”

Ccino blinks confused but then Killer tugs him past the last line of trees and… Two more dust piles on the ground. A short cloaked figure stands in the middle of the meadow. A glance shows skeletal hands.

Ccino glances at Killer.

Killer grins “This. Is Dust. He is going to help us get the fuck away from here.” He takes the bag from his shoulders as Rogers hands him another one as he goes over to this Dust person to talk apparently.

Ccino looks at Rogers “Rogers?!”

Rogers smiles “We didn’t want to stress you out.” He looks at him “You and the twins needs to leave this place. It took us a while to get the timing right but this is the quickest option we had.”

Ccino goes to ask but then he remembers Robin and her goodbye “You all knew?” he is shocked. Why hadn’t they told him?

Rogers nods “We did.” He gives him a quick hug “And don’t worry about us. Which is why we didn’t tell you to begin with. We knew you would worry about us and want us to go too. This is the best chance at success Ccino. Please just trust us that we knew what we are doing. Okay?” and he waits for a moment.

Ccino frowns as he looks at his best friend “I can’t just leave you two…”

Rogers gives him a hard look “You can and you will. You and Killer will go. Killer told us this guy can get you places and Killer’s friend can make you documents. You will go and be free. We will find you later. I promise.”

Ccino feels tears threaten to fall as he hugs his friend “You swear?”

“On my soul. Now go.” He nudges Ccino before he grabs his own blade and start to mess up his armour. He calls Killer over and gets Killer to slice him across the back. Rogers sees him look questioning and Rogers grins “Gotta make it believable. We got it. Go.” and he nudges Ccino over.

Killer takes his hand and leads him back to the third skeleton. Who had just been standing there silently the whole time. Ccino feels the need to tug both his twins closer but remains strong.

The shorted guy, Dust, looks over “Ccino. Correct?”

He says it with a bit of an accent but it is close enough. Ccino nods.

Dust nods “We need to walk. There is a cart.” He pauses and glances at the two babybones “They okay with that? We need silence?”

Ccino huffs as he tugs his twins closer and checks on Dream in Killer’s arms “Of course they are. They are both very well behaved.” Which is when Dream coos happily and tugs on the leather of the other.

Ccino is worried for a moment before seeing Dust snort “Brave little guy.” Then he just turns and waves them over to follow him.

The short walk is not short at all but closer to half an hour. Ccino is starting to feel drained and it isn’t until long and Killer is carrying both his twins for him. They get to a small path and sees a very small cart. It is one normally used for some cargo over short distances. Dust opens it up and puts their bags in it before going to the front to manage the horse pulling it. Killer climbs in first and makes sure both the twins are comfortable before helping Ccino up and in as well. He grabs a blanket from inside the cart and wraps it around him.

“Sleep. I will be here. I promise.”

Ccino nods as he leans against Killer. Feeling the cart shake slightly as it starts to move and be pulled.

They walk for a moment in silence as Killer mutters softly “He didn’t tell me exactly which path we were going to take but he has done this a lot before so I have no doubt that this will work.” He grins “Apparently he is very skilled in smuggling.”

Dust speaks from the outside “I smuggle everything well.”

Killer grins before shooting him a look “You know… You can give them any names you want. They are still young and we will be leaving this country soon. They will get new documents and from then on it will just be us…” Killer looks nervous “As long as you will have me of course.”

Ccino smiles as he leans against him “As if I would ever want you to leave.” But he gets thinking about the names. He does like the names Nightmare and Dream. But maybe something else as well?

Killer and him had been joking about what they would name the twins if they weren’t just two males…

He really liked the names Dawn and Dusk.

---

A cup of coffee is placed in front of him and Geno is pulled from his thinking. He looks up at the barista and grins “Thanks Ccino.” He glances at the coffee and feels himself blush.

The latte art is done masterfully but it is clearly of a person in a cloak.

Ccino hums “It was no trouble. Though I do feel like I should tell you that Dust won’t be here today. He is still working.” He looks amused as he says this.

Geno mumbles and quickly takes a sip of his coffee. But any haste disappears as the amazing taste fills his mouth.

No one is sure how, Geno least of all, but Ccino makes the best coffee and deserts. And Geno knows it is without magic! He checked!

Geno discovered this café almost three years ago now. It had still been newly opened and Ccino had still been setting things up. The menu back then had been simple and Ccino had been nervous about getting the right things up for sale.

Geno had been planning on just getting a coffee to show support. It was glaring obvious that Ccino had been a refuge. New and still nervous and just trying to settle.

Only to discover the best fucking coffee in the world. And Geno can know as he has been many places thanks to Reaper.

Geno made it a point to visit weekly. Which turned to more as more treats and options became available.

Geno shrugs as answer and Ccino looks amused but doesn’t say anything else. That is a nice thing about Ccino. He doesn’t push and he doesn’t sell out information. Normally people who own cafes quickly start talking about how the royal mage drinks coffee at their places. Somekind of publicity stunt or something. Ccino didn’t do that. He just let Geno and his brothers be. It was nice.

Geno sips his coffee as Ccino walks back to the counter. Mid step he pauses and reached under a table. A delighted squeek is heard and Ccino pulls back holding a tiny adorable babybones. One of the two twins, Dream is seems. Ccino nuzzles the little face before walking back to the counter. Now a tiny child carried in his arm and on his hip.

Geno had wondered about it, obviously. He wondered who Ccino had gotten the twins with. What the whole story was.

He did some snooping. Near the start. He knows they are from Orchard. And he knows about the stories about royal twins and how those are the heirs to be the next king that ascends or something.

Which just makes Geno more confused on what Ccino’s role is for the twins. If the twins’s ‘mother’ died in childbirth and the ‘father’ was the last king. Where did Ccino come in?

Geno would think that Ccino would be the king’s mate’s secret lover but that doesn’t work out either. Mostly because of Killer. Killer is Ccino’s mate and lover. That is obvious by how they interact and how they nuzzle and greet each other. The way that Killer greets the two kiddos as his own kids. Yet on the documents it just says that Ccino is their parent and there isn’t a mention of Killer.

Geno had been curious…

Especially with how they had reacted to Reaper.

Reaper had wanted to see the spot that made Geno leave the castle and his study. Reaper had wanted to visit and enjoy a cup of coffee.

As soon as Ccino had seen Reaper and normal cheer disappeared. There had only been a mask of politeness. Careful and measured responses and efficient movement. The two kids, only babies back then, had stared at Reaper and started fussing and crying when Reaper got too close to them.

The way Killer had been watching. Ready to tackle Reaper at the first wrong side.

Reaper and Geno both didn’t need more than two minutes to realise that there was a traumatic response to the very sight of a monarch. Geno made sure to get their orders to go. Apologising that he couldn’t sit down and drink but that they had a schedule. Ccino made the to go orders and even let them keep the cups. Saying that he didn’t have any to go cups but that it was alright.

The next time Geno come in he was alone again. He brought the two cups back and couldn’t help but notice that there where now paper cups and tops. Just in case clearly.

It wasn’t until a few days later that he met Dust for the first time.

It was near closing and Dust had walked in. Mysterious and dressed in a cloak. He walked up to Ccino and Ccino had smiled at him? He had hugged him as if he was an old friend and thanked him for being willing to watch the twins.

Geno had wanted to ask him what the deal was with his magic but Ccino had a very strict no tolerance of intolerance policy. Meaning he will kick you out and ban you if you are an ass.

So all Geno could do was watch and make actual small talk.

And now he visits almost daily to try and get a glance.

Reaper says it is cute that Geno has a crush.

His brothers think it is hilarious.

The door rings as Killer walks in.

Dream cheers and waddles over to Killer.

Killer grins as he spins the little babybones around “Well if it sin’t mister Dream Dusk! How are you doing DD?”

Dream giggles and wiggles happily. Neither of the twins are big on talking but that is alright.

Killer nods “Ah yes. Big day I hear. Learning to count higher is a very hard skill to learn.” And he nods as he walks over to Ccino “Hey Ccino.”

Ccino smiles back “Hey there.” He takes Dream and nuzzles the head before smiling brightly at Killer.

Killer grins as he pulls out a very nice looking ring. He gets on one knee and holds it out “Marry me?”

Geno hears some other guests gasp. He gets it. He would be shocked too. If it weren’t for the fact that he has seen about five proposals so far. He asked Ccino about it and Ccino had sheepishly admitted that for some reason Killer has decided to try and marry him in every single culture that there is. Meaning that there have been a lot od proposals.

It is still rather sweet.

Ccino giggles and accepts the proposal. Dream cheers as Killer kisses the other. Killer get sbehind the counter and greets some guests who are still in line and easily carries the conversation as Ccino walks around with a mission. He gets to a cupboard and opens it to retreat a second tiny skeleton. The second part of the twin set.

Ccino sighs “What did I tell you about hiding in there Nighty?” Nighty, or Nightmare Dawn as his full name, grins and nuzzles close to Ccino. Looking up at the other with big watery sockets.

Ccino obviously melts as he nuzzles the tiny babybones “Lets get you and your brother back to your beds.”

Nightmare whines and looks unhappy at Ccino.

Ccino grins “Well I will have to. Otherwise you don’t have enough energy to greet your aunty Robin and uncle Rogers now do we?”

Nightmare immediately looks excited and nods “Okay Da.”

Ccino grins as he walks over to Killer and Dream. He picks Dream up as well and after checking with Killer he leaves to disappear through the back door. Dream and Nightmare both happily wave at everyone else but specifically Killer as they both say “Bye Pa!” “Bye-bye Papa!” and the door closes as Killer giving a loud ‘love you two!’ into their directions.

It is sweet.

They are surrounded by mysteries and something else that Geno can’t put his finger on. But he won’t push.

He will try to learn of course but well. For now there is amazing coffee and he isn’t in a hurry.

[eastons-creations]

I think Dr who writers forgot that the doctors already has a daughter. So it can’t be that shocking.

Like

Why

WHY

I miss her

[jimplekins]

wait its inks birthday

[generalsmemories]

hi hello!

ngl I'm not the one to send asks here, but I thought I might! (I did send a request/two of them for the 1k event - in which I think I forgot to congratulate for the event as well which has been eating me alive so CONGRATS here lol)

in such a short amount of time you became one of my favorite creators, I truly love your work (I even have the fucking notifications on for your blog - call me crazy idc), whenever I get the memo you posted I immediately go read, it makes my day/week. I love you approach to making JY/IL (especially JY ofc) true to their characters, I appreciate it greatly (ngl you spoiled me there for reading content from any other writers).

as you probs noticed I prefer commenting on your posts rather than sending asks (feels less "confrontational" and more like an audience member cheering you on enthusiastically - hope it doesn't bother you, my screaming on your posts)

forgot where I was heading with all this so to wrap it up, I love love loveee your work and attitude towards it all, how maturely you write your content (f.e. I am not a fan of angst, but your angst is solved and done in such a realistic 'normal' way, it is just beautiful), it is a breath of fresh air to read. moreover I can fully relate to your unhinged side about JY - I'm very much the same, it is nice to get hyped about seeing/hearing him in any aspect (I'm totally normal about HCQ lore, I totally don't know every single possible lore detail there is to know about HCQ... yeah.. totally..) and seeing someone else also be hyped about it makes me feel good :D

also any fluff or something loving (most of your work) with Jing Yuan actually warms my heart and feeds my delusions. thought I'd let you know, because I've been pondering on sending you an ask or not, I see many people sending them so I might as well give it a try.. hah, to let you know how much I enjoy what you do ☺

ps. anxiety was choking me as I wrote all this worrying if it is too long or annoying, had to keep reminding myself authors/writers need feedback and deserve positive praise

Hi hi!!

I do see your comments and occasional reblogs of my works, and I can't tell you enough how much it makes my day to hear some of my readers thoughts about it! As you said in your last lil paragraph but a lot of us writers do really enjoy getting feedback in terms of just commenting or just keyboard smashes on our works! HSR has been the fandom whose given me most engagement on any work and tbh it's been doing wonders on my overall approach and motivatoin to write for it! (I've previously stated in a lot of other sideblogs that I usually just post and dip, but HSR fandom has really made me connect more to my readers and just post random snippets and thoughts without second guessing so that's also a huge plus-)

even though i only write jing yuan content lmfao- i'm super thankful that you enjoy my works so much, and thank you for taking the extra time to send me an ask even if it did seem intimidating - i appreciate it a lot! (sometimes words can't express enough, but i have been reading this a few times throughout my work days to have a bit of a motivation boost hehe)

i hope i can keep you entertained with my writing though in the near future as well though buddy!

[sealer-of-wenkamui]

Maybe i should write up a little summary of abe no seimei monogatari when I'm done I'm prioritizing the parts with Douman lol I have been keeping a notebook about it and info on Douman in EN is hard to come by and I'm really enjoying the story and I'm picking up on a lot of little things in Fate, also its just really amusing at parts, Douman has always been a petty bitch and its great...

Like do people know about how he just went to the capital and showed up at Seimei's place cause he was soooo upset someone could possibly be better than him so he immediately had to challenge him (emperor as his witness) and prove himself better? Or how he ends up as Seimei's pupil after this cause of the conditions he himself set? Or how he got together with Seimei's wife while Seimei was off in China to meet the sage Hakudou and has her tell him where the texts containing his secrets are? How he did at one point kill Seimei? Its so good I love it

[cheemken]

So yeah we all know that thing of villain Dia and Drasna and how she wanted to be a hero yeah

But like, in the villain Iris au, imagine if Diantha and Iris had a similar conversation tho. Like, after that tournament in Kalos, Dia and Iris were vibing outside the League, talking abt the tournament and how proud Diantha was of her. And ofc, that made Iris really happy, and she was thanking her and Lance (even if he wasn't w them yet) for helping her and for defending her too. Diantha said it was no trouble at all, she couldn't stand the thought of Iris not being happy in Kalos, and to find out there are people who looks down on her, well, ofc Dia's gonna give em a piece of her mind. She did ask tho if there are people like that in her own region. Iris wanted to tell her. She wanted to tell her everything. But she held her tongue, forcing a smile, she shook her head, told her that the people of Unova were supportive of her.

And they started talking abt other things, from pkmn, to Dia's movies, to the other champions, to the stars. Iris loved stargazing, it always calmed her down.

Back at home, she always loved how she has a clear view of the starry night sky in her room. She loves the stars, she studied about the constellations forming with each twinkling luminous body that were in the darkness of the sky, giving light to guide those who have wandered too far. She loved pointing out constellations with her pkmn, w her grandpa, w her friends. It was nice. And she's telling Diantha abt it too. Pointing towards the sky, she went on how abt the constellation of Libra, of Scorpio, of mythological figures, and even those who are in every history textbooks.

"then there's.. the heroes of Unova," she pointed at a set of stars, aligning in an intricate way that if you've no eye for creativity, you won't ever get to appreciate. Though, as she pointed at the constellation, her voice became quiet, smth Diantha noticed.

"something on your mind, darling?"

She hesitated for a bit, then she let out a hollow laugh, "this might sound silly but.. do you.. do you ever think I'll be like a hero?"

Diantha's mind flashed back to the memory of a younger version of herself asking Drasna the same thing. She smiled softly at Iris, gently pulling her close to a side hug, she said, "of course, my dear. I'm sure you'll be a great hero."

"like the heroes of Unova?"

"no, you'll be better than them." And Diantha kisses the top of Iris' head, going on how she's strong and such, Dia is sure she'll be a hero.

That made Iris really happy tho, that someone really believes she'll be a hero. Ofc, she's not gonna let Diantha down, she'll be a great hero, she'll find her own legendary dragon, and then Unova will see that she's better than them.

[tonycries]

BRAT!

Synopsis. Scream it! While he’s still asking nicely, that is…

Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, creampíes, getting reader to not be quiet in béd, CÚMPLAY, spítting, Sukuna’s second tongue, oraI (fem rec), pússydrunk boys, squírting, six eyes, face-sítting, pússy-slappíng, true form Sukuna, chokíng, markíng, exhíbitionism (Nanami), víbrators, dp, slight voice kínks, pet names, swearing.

Word count. 5.9k

A/N. Love y’all, have a good leak day <3

♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - Let it all out!

“Doll…” he drawls out, that tiny scar at the end of his smirk dragging roughly against your glossy pout. And when Toji’s given nothing more than a few of your muffled, bit-back whimpers, he’s insisting - begging, “My stubborn girl-”

Five thick fingers wrap delicately around your neck - jostling your fucked-out expression up to his greedy gaze, “Cat got yer tongue?” As if to fuck the answer out of you, his hips are ramming angrily, knocking rawly into your bruised g-spot. “Don’t tell me you’ve been hah- fucked dumb already? Wha’s the problem, ma?”

It’s been hours now, and Toji’s absolutely wrecked - blood thumping in his ears, broad chest heaving with short rasps, stars bursting behind his half-lidded eyes after each sloppy thrust. And, yet, he still has enough sanity left to notice when you’re biting down brattily on your knuckles, throat tight with all those sweet moans being held back. 

See, that’s when Toji gets impatient. 

“Fine- be as quiet as your pretty lil’ heart desires, then.” Your eyes are widening at the mushy twitch of his rotund tip - still leaky, still angry. “We’ll see how long that lasts, anyway.”

Just that dark little promise is enough to make you keen - and he’s chuckling, “Now now- what did I say-” Those soft pads of his fingers glide up in a gentle curve towards your lips - but the way he just shoves them inside is anything but. Rounded tips constricting into the very back of your throat, “Ya wanna be quiet? Then, commit to it like the big girl you are.”

Big fat tears spring up to your eyes when he’s hiking a powerful thigh up, pressurizing the ruthless pace of his achy cock even more. Bullying into your velvety walls like he was angry, knocking all the air in your lungs with every glide of his swelteringly hot head along your cervix. 

“Hngh-” you gurgle past his swirling fingers. Your nails piercing ravaged red lines where you’re gripping helplessly onto his wrist, “T-To-ah!”

There’s such a deafening squelch gushing out of your messy cunt when the mean digits on his free hand push down about halfway at your stomach, feeling for the branding little nudge of his fat cock. Toji’s mouth drops in awe at the milky white coating of his cum. Dredge after dredge soiling your inner thighs, forming a creamy little ring where he was pushing his thick hilt into you over and over-

“Shit-” his Adam’s apple bobs with a heavy gulp. Mindlessly, he’s falling down onto his elbows in exhaustion, bending you in half like a little ragdoll underneath him. “N’ suddenly I’m the one speechless, doll- Hahah-”

The heavy thwack! thwack! thwack! of his still painfully-full balls make your head spin, and Toji’s drinking in your little gasps like a starved man. Slow, languid, eyes drooping shut. “S’this why- hngh- s’this why my girl’s bein’ so quiet all of a sudden?” Hips stuttering forwards like he was losing control, just filthy, lusted-up little half-thrusts and drags of his length down your gummy channel. Even that was too much for his poor, overworked cock - painting your insides full with his thick, translucent precum with every swallowed-up inch. “Too cockdrunk? Too hah- full of my cum t’speak?”

You were so close - so overstimulated - you could barely string together a sentence. And you couldn’t have answered even if you wanted to - because your lovely boyfriend only rummaged his fingers deeper inside your mouth. Fuck- it felt so dirty having him fuck you like this - spitting against your lips, twitchy cock mashing deep into all your sensitive spots. Like he was reaching into your lungs - into your barely-lucid mind until you couldn’t do anything but nod. 

“Mmmpf- I-” you’re managing out, the words coming out in a thick, garbled mess that makes his cock throb. “Hngh- yes yes yes-”

“Awww, fuckin’ knew it.” he coos, and it’s all the warning you’re getting before two big strong arms of his haul you up. Falling back onto his muscled thighs in a sitting position - with you all speared like a slut down his unforgiving cockhead. Being bounced up, up, up your limp body nothing against his inhuman strength. “Shit- fuckin’ knew it- My poor girl got fucked so good she couldn’t even speak, huh?” Toji just throws his head back at the answering clench of your elastic walls, molding around each one of his ridges and veins. “How cute–” 

You cower under his weighty gaze, unable to escape. To do anything other than take it when his bicep bulges around your waist, tightening like a vice. “How so very-” Abs clenching when they ram- up- “cute-” He’s gritting his teeth, baring you with such a sweet, sultry smile, one that ghosts the very shell of your ear, “But why don’t you jus’ cum f’me now, ma.”

You don’t know whether his own words have Toji reaching his high - or maybe the sight of you does. Because all you see is black tinging your vision - then white, seeping out of the corners of your puffed-up folds, sopping a wet puddle into the non-existent space between you two.

He’s so vocal when he fucks you through your orgasm, raspy baritone wrenching out little praises like a mantra- “Yeah- yeah there we go. Louder f’me- scream it all out. I know you can do it.”

“P-please, Toji.” You don’t know what you’re begging for - and Toji doesn’t mind. Only pinning your body to his hulking one, holding you so close that your whimpered out moans are almost inaudible over his cushiony pecs. Babbling out, “Please- f-fuck it feels too good hah- m’cumming- m’cumming m’cumming-”

“Such a chatty girl, moanin’ so fuckin’ loud.” he titters. “Don’t you dare hold back that pretty voice from me, m’kay?” 

But only when your orgasm bates into tiny tingles, only when your syrupy sweet moans turn quieten down - only then does Toji pull away. Shuffling onto his knees until his hot breath was fanning your eagerly quivering cunt, soft tongue dragging up your painted white slit, “So let’s see if you scream twice as loud for this, my girl.”

♡ NANAMI KENTO - Shhh…

“My love…” Nanami breathes out in a ragged pant, his hot breath breezing down your spine. Arching up so sultrily when the pistons of his hips slow down, aching for more more more- “Is something hah- wrong?”

It takes you a second to raise your bleary head up from where it rested amongst all the papers on the desk, the satin of your office skirt hiking up even further when you’re rutting your hips back in a quiet tandem. “N-nothing, Ken–” your words come out hushed - hurried. 

And oh your husband looked so unfairly attractive when he was concerned, blond brows furrowing in the middle, running one hand through his disarrayed hair, the other pulling your teary eyes up to his. “You’re just being so-” There’s an experimental mash of his fat, rounded tip into your mapped-out g-spot, as if to confirm his suspicions. And Nanami grunts at the sight of you biting down on your lower lip, “-quiet…Now now-” His thumb comes to gently pry away your worried lip from under your teeth, “-what’s wrong?”

“S’jus’-” you hiccup, eyes flitting to the closed storage room door. “-m’ so close n’ someone might hear. I know Higuruma also has overtime-”

Shit - you’re so far into your little rant that you don’t notice the way his entire body stiffens, jaw clenching at the mention of your - and his - coworker. You can only gasp when Nanami’s towering figure just shoves you deeper into the cool mahogany desk. One hand on your head, the other wrapped nicely around your blabbering mouth.

“You’re right-” Nanami breathes, words tinted with a slow, dangerous purr. And it makes your velvety walls just seep a fresh gloss of your sweet sweet juices down all his long, hard inches. “-better not make a noise unless you want to get caught then, because m’not going easy on you today, darling.”

And fuck, Nanami likes to think himself a practical man - a sensible man, even. But right now all he could see was red - nothing past the way that other man had been eying you a little too closely these days, laughing at your jokes a little too loud. 

Don’t get him twisted, he knows you’d never do anything - you were his pretty lil’ wife after all, the love of his absolute soul. But sometimes, he just wanted to make you scream it out. 

Your pretty eyes bat hypnotically over your shoulder, “K-Ken- oh!”

Only to be shut up by the furious pummeling of all his rock-hard shaft, the sheer girth of it already making you keen. It’s enough for honeyed moans to bubble up in your throat, ticking in time with that angry pulsing of his thick tip massaging your plushy walls. 

“Shh shhh-” Nanami coos, and you feel his abs ripple from behind you when he leans his weight down, down, down to pin you even more helplessly against the desk. Those thick fingers of his cover your mouth even firmer, “We hafta be quiet, remember?”

If he was looking for an answer, then Nanami fully and thoroughly fucks it out of you. 

Those important documents are shuffling around everywhere, flying off the desk when you’re scrambling towards absolutely anything to keep just an ounce of your sanity. Because Nanami was hammering into you in such powerful, pressurized thrusts. Hard enough that you could feel the line of his hip bones along the fat of your ass, the circular smacks of his heavy balls along your thighs. Sure to leave marks that that sinfully short skirt of yours wouldn’t cover. 

“Ken! Ken- oh my god-” 

All you get in response is the sudden slowing of his mean pace, until your heady moans are softening down to mere whimpers. 

It still feels so dizzyingly good this way, having your snug hole stretch limitlessly around his girthy shaft. Knocking so deeply and thoroughly against your womb, clenching your saturated walls down with every graze of the neat tufts of blond at his hilt. 

“What did I say?” His mouth comes down onto yours in a heated clash of teeth and tongue and moans. So many rasping grunts furling from out of Nanami’s throat, spitting into your mouth, “Hafta- be hah- quiet. Or else Higuruma is- gonna- hear-” 

And that hypnotizing push and pull is punctuated by the greedy drag of Nanami’s thumb down your clit, spelling out little patterns. Over and over-

Thud!

“Hah- I don’t-” you’re startling when he hikes up a leg onto the desk, the change in angle making you all but scream out into his ravenous mouth. “Don’t think I even- care anymore ah!” Every one of those syrupy sweet moans falling from your lips have Nanami hammering in even deeper, rattling the desk with his strength. “Just wanna- just want you to-”

You’re gasping at the familiar work of his fingers on your sensitive nub - a flurry of letters all over. K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T-O-K-E-

“Say it.” he bites down on your earlobe. “Spell it out f’me.”

“M-m’gonna-”

K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T-O-K-E-N-T-O-

“Scream it out, no need to be embarrassed.”

“Cum!” you’re sobbing. Heaving for air when he doesn’t take even a second to slow down, “M’gonna cum, Ken. M’so f-fuckin’ close.”

His next words are murmured at the crook of your neck, dangerously above your racing pulse. Making you flinch at the sharp teeth indenting over your skin, “Then cum.”

Oh and when you do it’s like something snaps. Because all you know next is that you’re being fucked through such a delicious high. White-hot pleasure having you quivering deeper into Nanami’s hold, dragging out each one of your peaks. Your throat feels raw, head swimming so much that you almost don’t hear-

“Just the way I like you.” Leaving a lingering peck at your collarbone, “All gorgeous and-” At the sensitive underside of your jaw, “-blissed out and-” Before you’re jumping at sharp canines sinking down into the side of your neck. Hard. Possessive. 

It hurts - but it hurts so good that you don’t even register the way Nanami’s eyes flit to the door - slightly ajar now. Voice rising in volume when he finishes, “-mine.”

♡ GETO SUGURU - We’ll piss off the neighbors

“Mmpf- S-Sugu…”

“S-S-Sugu-” your beloved boyfriend is just leering, his velvety voice pitched dramatically high. Shoving apart your dangling legs so burningly wide to bully that furiously shuddering hot-pink vibrator even deeper inside your insatiable cunt. 

He’s grinning such a dangerous grin down at you, “Now, why don’t you lemme hear those pretty moans of yours like usual, gorgeous- instead of holding back?”

And all you can do is squirm around mindlessly when he’s feeding your sloppy cunt inch after smooth inch of more of the thin vibrator. Rummaging around your clingy walls so much, “Come on now-” A taunting thumb of his glides along the intensity meter - Setting 1, Setting 2. Before finally resting smugly on Setting 3. Long, dark lashes bat at you, “You’re breaking my heart here!”

“P-please!” you sob out, before immediately worrying your lower lip shut. And Geto notices - of course, he does. The determined smirk on his face turning into something a little colder, a little more predatory. 

“Aww, my poor baby doesn’t wanna speak with me.” he’s goading, leaving your plushy walls stretched full with the blissful girth of the vibrator. Letting you all but cockwarm it while he’s running a rigorous thumb over your puffed-up clit, “Tha’s fine. Whatever my girl wants, she’s gonna- get.” 

Geto’s sharp tongue is running lewd stripes up and down the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the corners of your lips as if he isn’t driving you insane. As if he isn’t driving himself insane. The achy, fat tip of his reddened cock kissing wetly at your glossy folds, weeping hot precum that sticks to your slit, trickling down the buried hilt of the vibrator. Oh, how he knew - had planned out - exactly how he was going to make you scream. 

But for now, he’s only pursing his lips together, letting you babble and whine unfairly to yourself. 

“S’not- not that I hngh!” your entire body jolts when he’s wordlessly increasing the intensity - Setting 4. Nervous eyes flitting down to where Geto’s lengthy cock was sitting prettily across your open legs, throbbing. Waiting. “Jus’ the neighbors- hah- we got another noise complaint, Sugu–”

He still doesn’t budge, still doesn’t say a word. This time his fingers are toying your finger even sloppier. Tweaking and circles lazily along the sensitive nub, making you all but scream-

“Please- I promise-” you’re bucking your hips up for more more more. Feeling the sopping smack! of his hefty shaft come down on your skin, splattering translucent dredges of his syrupy precum all over your skin. “Promise s’jus’ that Sugu.” Shaky fingers of yours wrap around his long, inky hair - hauling him close to meet your lips, and you could feel the ridges of Geto’s toothy grin when you crack, “Feels so good- too good. N’- jus’ want your cock- hngh! Promise was jus’ trynna be quiet because the walls are th-thin and the-”

And then it feels like you’re being split apart, such a thick intrusion to your already filled-up cunt. Soft, supple walls being contorted around the vibrating toy - and Geto’s addition of his thick, weepy tip. 

“Say please, then.”

You’re so completely and utterly fucked out that you barely even hear him at first - body moving before your mind when your lips sag open. Jumbling out a mess of, “P-please.”

“Hmmm…” Geto pretends to think, but he’s still circling open your elastic entrance to fit his needy cock inside. Taking it slow, sensual - making sure your silky sweet walls are rubbing against each and every one of the prominent veins down his middle, the rotund end of his head shoving its way inside. “S’not ‘nough - how about ‘please, Sugu’?”

“Please, Sugu!” Your nails claw their way down his broad, milky shoulders - leaving red, red marks that make him groan. That make his hips jut forward in a solid, thorough thrust, “Please- d-don’t care about the n-noise complaints hah- jus’ wanna be full of all of you.”

Geto doesn’t know if he can move, fuck, he doesn’t even know if he’s breathing. Eyes widening, head thrown back at the slightest feeble clench of your velvety walls desperately trying to accommodate around his cock and the vibrator. 

It takes beat - two, of him grinding in filthy gyrating motions, abs flexing when his slender waist surges forward. All the way until that divot at his tip was branding into your spongy cervix, painful, cum-filled balls sticking thoroughly against your ass. Somehow, he’s managing to roll his eyes, “D-didn’t hafta hah- say that much, gorgeous.”

There’s a sharp flick! 

Setting 5. 

The heady room is instantly filled by both of your moans - so loud. Yours higher-pitched and cracking pathetically at the end, Geto’s throaty, like they were being dragged from his throat against his will. 

Immediately, he bores down at you with a bit lower lip, eyes half-lidded, the corners of his mouth curled up in what almost seems like a smile. “Guess I better quiet down myself- hngh- huh?” he gasps - heaves - tremors of the vibrator rubbing up so deliciously at the underside of his throbbing shaft, jostling with each hastening ram into your gushing cunt. “B-because now that I finally got you to scream out f’me-” 

You’re mewling when his thumb comes up uncharacteristically gently to swipe away your own lips from underneath your teeth - a habit, almost, at this point after you’d gotten a very huffy email about being too disruptive at night. Like right now. “-I don’t wan’ ta hear anythin’ else. And that includes noise complaints - because soon m’gonna move ya to our own house, pretty, don’t ya worry. And there-” Your forehead is branded with a soft kiss, your g-spot with a rough ram. “-you can scream as much as ya want.”

♡ CHOSO KAMO - “Please please please.”

Choso couldn’t stop even if he tried - he couldn’t hold back even one of those broken, whiny pleas wrenching from his rosy pink lips. So loud, deep voice pitching up highly at the end every time the weepy divot at the very end of his fat tip reached into the spongy bottom of your pussy. 

“Baby- please, baby–” he drags out your sweet little nickname, two of his sizeable palms coming to splay out on the curve of your hips. Just dragging your gummy cunt down like a cocksleeve, helping you ride him in easy, relentless grinds. “Does it feel good? Tell me- does it- hah-”

His breath hitches with a sudden shudder when your fingernails dig into the side of his pale neck, using the leverage to just ram your cunt down in thorough, hypnotic gyrations.

“Please!” Choso’s gasping, eyes rolling to the back of his head. You’re jostling slightly precariously on his slender hips when he’s planting two feet flat on the silky sheets to buck up, up up- “Tell me- tell me how it feels, baby.”

Your fingers tighten involuntarily at the sound of his greedy beg, making him let out such a guttural groan. The sound sends shivers running along your spine, all the way down to where he was jackhammering into your ravaged cunt. Thumbing apart your swollen folds to keep them spread enough for him to bully his girthy hilt into. So depraved. Needy. “S-so good, Cho-”

It was an accident - really - you didn’t even mean to let the little compliment slip. But it’s enough for Choso’s eager cock to expand even girthier inside you, all the blood in his body rushing to stretch your elastic walls to their limits. You could feel him everywhere, molding you to the very shape of his cock. 

“Yeah? Oh yeah?” he’s hissing, craning his neck up to mesh your lips together sloppily. Languid, delirious - kiss-bitten lips smacking when they’re sucking on your lolled-out tongue. Fuck, how he missed your voice. “Tell me- ngh! Tell me more, please.”

Oh, but really - your sweet sweet boyfriend was so pretty like this underneath you. Milky skin damp with sweat, his dark eyes dewy with tears and locked on you, mouth parting open in ragged grunts. Your favorite little melody - it made the way you bite your lip stubbornly all the more sweeter. 

There’s another glissading stream of his sweltering hot precum coating your inner walls, sloshing around in a syrupy slow rhythm inside you. “Please-” He’s crying out again after a few more branding smashes into your bulging g-spot  - lips wobbly as if he was on the verge of bawling without your voice. “Wanna hear your sweet moans, y’know? S’my f-favorite song-”

And you swear your hulking boyfriend’s mouth was upturned into such a pretty pout at that very second, soft planes of his hands caressing up and down your bent thighs. You can’t help but hum, making his head feel so lightheaded with that teasing quirk of your lips.

Or maybe it was the way your fingers clamped down tighter around his neck, sure to leave a perfect array of bruises from your splayed-out fingers. Jerking him even closer- “Fine- open that mouth if you love my voice so much.” 

You’re barely even finishing the sentence before his jaw slacks open, tongue darting out - just in time to catch the steady glob of syrupy saliva you spit out. Right onto the middle of his tastebuds, Choso’s immediately slotting his mouth against yours in an even greedier mess of a kiss. 

“Didn’t think you- hngh! like my voice that much, baby.” you’re humming, letting him hurl into a frenzy of powerful mashes into your g-spot. Some missing - drawing long, eager glides of his rounded, thick head along your cervix. “I like yours too, y’know. So much.” Leaving a lingering drag of his jutted-out bottom lip between your teeth, “S’why I ah- hngh- held back- love hearin’ you.”

And oh, every honeyed word of yours goes straight into twitchy cock, pulsing painfully into your mushy walls. Curving upwards so deliciously, Choso’s hold on you tightens - enough to draw blood, you might think, had he not cut his nails just earlier. 

He’s fucking upwards into you so solidly hard - feverish drags of you down his massive length only getting rougher and rougher until he couldn’t-

“Don’t do that, silly girl- mm- can’t live without hearing those cute moans of yours, m’kay?” Big fat tears gloss down his sharp cheeks with how stimulated he was right now, and you could feel the weighty shifting of his balls. So tight they almost felt like they could burst. “So be loud. Be as loud as possible f’me- tell me how it feels, how you ah- want more- a-and-” His fingers now cup your face, leaving all the laborious duty down to his frantic hips. Yet, Choso didn’t mind - anything that let him glide a thumb along your spit-glossed mouth, tugging out your bottom lip from where you were trapping it between your teeth, “-and say my name.”

You do - and it’s just about all you can manage out when you’re leering down to bite on Choso’s sensitive earlobe. Exactly where you knew would make him shiver the most, rutting up animalistically to bounce you up even deeper, “Then cum f’me, Cho.”

And he thinks he will - fuck, at the sound of his name rolling off your saccharine sweet tongue he couldn’t hold back even if he tried. But not before teasing a hard roll of his thumb along your clit, “F-fuck you little- ah! You first, since you’ve been hah- holdin’ out on me. N’ this time-” His glinting eyes narrow, sharp canines bared in such a viciously fucked-out grin that it makes you clamp down - hard, “-you’re gonna be the one hngh- crying out, baby–”

♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - CHATTERBOX!

Now, usually when Sukuna had you all splayed out like this - your trembly thighs balanced on either side of his head, puffy pussy lips so sopping wet it made his mouth water - he knew you’d let out a few pretty noises. 

A mewl when his hot tongue laps up the syrupy juices sopping from either side of your slit, a moan of his name when all he does is card the very edge of his soft muscle between them. And finally - finally - his favorite, a whiny beg for, “P-please, Kuna- no more teasing!”

How cute. 

When you miss the first - he doesn’t think much of it, instead too engrossed in thumbing apart your swollen folds, admiring the way your greedy cunt was already glistening and winking down at him so sweetly. Spitting a fat wad of his saliva right on the bullseye of your entrance. When you miss the second, he’s concerned, humming a raspy growl at the back of his throat while wrapping two plump lips around your throbbing clit. 

And when you miss that last one - oh, now you’re gonna get it. 

Smack! 

All give digits of his thick fingers come down hard on your hovering pussy, sliding a glistening syrupy wet sheen down to his wrist. 

“S’this boring to you, woman?” the famed king of cures spits his words with a low, threatening rumble of his sculpted chest. And it’s all you can do to throb, whirling your glassy eyes down at his half-lidded, darkened gaze, “Anything else you’d rather be doing right now?” 

You’re shaking your head deliriously - but that’s not enough for him, of course. 

There’s another oozing little throb from your cunt - rewarded with another branding smack! across your sensitive clit. “Don’ wanna use your big girl words, hm?” Sukuna raises a brow, still holding such dangerous eye contact with you when he hollows out his cheeks, long tongue lolling out to make out with your pussy. “Fine then- let’s let this cute pussy speak for herself, hm?”

There’s only a drawn-out, sloppy squelch ringing through the heady air when he lays his tongue flat across your glossy lips. Just teasing around the very edge of your gushy entrance before the very tip of him dances up, up, up.

“Hngh!” you’re gasping at the feeling of him grazing over your clit in a sultry push and pull - and the sudden wetness of something else swirling around your syrupy sweet hole. “Wh- is that-”

“Shhh, didn’t ya wanna stay quiet, brat?” Sukuna cuts through your words, velvety coo making you just arch down harder to drag your slobbering cunt all across his eager face. And where that mean mouth of his was teasing you, his other - larger - tongue on his stomach was picking up wherever left off. More, even. “So shut up and let this pussy talk, why don’t ya?”

Ah, it was impossible to escape him. Two big beefy hands were steadied firmly around your quaking thighs, hauling you right onto his swallowing mouth, grinding you against his jaw like his favorite meal. You’re being bounced, almost on top of him - his other tongue driving you insane. 

Reaching all the spots you could’ve never even imagined. Arching into you almost as deftly as his cocks, bullying past your puffy lips and into every bulbous areas of your sensitive spots. Fucking you so thoroughly-

“Hey-” There’s another reminder - one of Sukuna’s free hands planting a solid smack onto the very bulge of your elastic walls around his tongue. “Think she said she’s getting close- Almost didn’t hngh- catch it ‘cause you’re being a bit too hah-” He’s craning his thick neck back in for a messy kiss against your clit. “-loud-” Again. And again and again- plump smirk glittered with all your sweet sweet juices. “-dontcha think?” Smack! You’re whining in response, drunken hips pushing down as if to shut him up, “S’like you want to hngh- moan f’me. If you wanna then why are ya being so- fuckin’- stubborn.”

And fuck, you were so far gone that Sukuna almost didn’t expect a response. Half-lidded gaze locked on the trickle of drool slobbering down your slack mouth, eyes bleary, soft whimpers barely even audible over the sinful squelches! from down below. You were so loud, so drippingly wet in each one of your noises that it has him running his free palm over the outline of his aching cocks. 

“B-because-” your wobbly voice makes his fat tips just gush out in thick ribbons of precum, seeping through the fabric of his decadent yukata and onto his fondling palm. “Felt embarrassing- the position a-and hah! got nervous I’d be too whiny or somethin’, Kuna…”

“That so?” Sukuna simpers, voice a little more silky soft than before. And the gentle smack! on your cunt reads as more fond than punishing, “Stupid brat- ya think I’d be like this if I didn’t like your pretty noises?” As if to prove his point, the two hands on your body ride you harder down his mouth. Sloppier. More depraved. “Nervous for what- s’jus’ me, y’know?” Tonguing back teasingly over your glossy clit, his eyes just bore into yours. Baritone vibrato pulsing down your achy pussy, “And I love every lil’ thing you do, my girl.”

His guttural moans are still echoing from the very base of your cunt when you cum - so hard. Violent, even, that Sukuna has to wrap his strong arms around you to keep you from escaping. It’s all your poor pussy can take. Waves of pleasure taking you away. Gushing and gushing so hard-

“Sh-shiiiit-” Sukuna utters - and it’s only then that you realize just how much you’d cum, quivering hole letting out bursts of your syrupy sweet slick. Just coating the entire lower half of his face, his cheekbones, down to his pecs in everything you’d squirted.

And while his lower tongue still laps at your honeyed juices, letting each bead slide down the muscle. He licks his lips with a sigh, “Let’s ask this gorgeous cunt if she can do that on my cocks now, too, hm? N’ this time- ya better scream f’me.”

♡ GOJO SATORU - Shut up.

“Sweetheart…”

“Satoru.”

“No-” 

Maybe it was the way your sorry boyfriend was just aching to hear your sweet sweet voice moan around his name, maybe it was the way he’d been spending hours already groveling and worshiping your body. Or maybe it was the way your clingy walls just pulsed all around his weepy cock, squelching in a way that makes him salivate. 

“I told you, my girl–” he soothes out in an almost-whiny tone. Pressing an overly-wet peck at your forehead, your nose, on either side of that scolding pout on your glossed-up lips. “I’m- sorry- I’ll listen to whatever hah- gossip about your favorite show next time just please-”

Two rough hands rest at the globes of your ass, purposefully jostling your fucked-out body to face him - he wasn’t letting you escape any time soon. 

There’s the slow, lingering squelch of Gojo rolling his hips forwards in such a dizzying tandem. Shoving you further and further up those expensive silken sheets at the hotel suite he’d booked for tonight - all for his little apology. 

“I s-see that lil’ smile-” he’s grunting, forcing two fingers around your face to look right into his greedy gaze. “Aww, come on- wontcha forgive me? M’begging here- begging.” And when you’re still keeping your mouth stubbornly shut, he’s throwing your limp legs over his broad shoulders. Running a syrupy slow circle over your neglected clit, “-promise I won’t fall asleep next time ya hah- t-talk my ear off.”

You have to admit that every saturated glide of his throbbingly fat tip has your jaw slacking further and further. Honeyed moans just bursting behind your lips, he’s stretching you out so sinfully. 

And, yet, it was so fun to see the strongest all broken down like this - eyes drooping almost closed, pouty lips with a glistening sheen of spit, little whimpers sounding at the back of Gojo’s throat every time he’s knocking right into your bulged-out g-spot. It drove him absolutely insane to see you purposefully hold back your pretty moans. 

“No no no no no-” he’s frantically prying away the knuckles you’re biting down deliriously on, trying to ease out those soft little whimpers and mewls. “My stubborn girl.” Pecking lingeringly at your lips, “Won’t you just scream- f’me-”

With a singular, jutting slam! of his hard hips against yours, you’re just keening - because Gojo was just crashing angrily against your poor g-spot. No longer teasing grazes and glides along your soppingly wet walls, just daring you to beg for more as you always did. 

No, he was pressing into your g-spot with ferocious power, muscles rippling across his hulking body when he’s sliding his fat cock back, back, back- Only to reel all the way forwards, the very curve of his globular head curving thoroughly against your sweetly sensitive spots. Again. and again. And again and again-

“Ah!” you’re scrambling up onto your elbows, connecting your forehead with his own. “S’too-”

You didn’t know what you were going to say - to have him beg more- to have yourself beg for more? But whatever it was clings to your heavy tongue when you’re raising your head up to meet your boyfriend’s. 

Because oh you knew that flushed, blank expression on his face, the slight crinkle of lightning at his eyes. This fucker-

“Whoops.” Gojo’s grinning, not a drop of regret in his words. “Guess I must’ve hngh- accidentally used six eyes when I-” Another nudge of his rotund head against your g-spot, only picking up in pace. Only plugging you full of his deep, grinding inches - fucking you so thoroughly into the mattress that you could hear the bedframe creaking in protest, your own cunt squelching ravagedly. “-hah- fuck this cute pussy. But hey…” He leans his face even closer, that infuriating curl of his lips only growing, “-I don’t hear ya complainin’ now, do I, sweetheart?” 

“Especially when m’ruining you right-” Splaying out all five of his long, pale fingers across your stomach - drawing an invisible line where he was branding the imprint of the very top of his length into the bottom of your pussy. “-here?”

Fuck, he had you exactly where he wanted you. 

“Y-you’re so-” you’re managing to gasp, eyes narrowing as he leans in even mockingly closer. But you can’t hide the slutty bliss in your tone, the way you tug and tease his soft, snow strands. “-so infuriating, y’know. I shouldn’t even hah- be lettin’ you off the hook this easily.” 

He’s moaning twofold, like the sound of your voice electrifies him. Hefty shaft twitching with each piston, painfully tight balls just clenching so painfully. “Yeah- hahah- yeah, isn’t it because you love me?”

The entirety of his body shivers when you lock your legs tightly, bowing his body even closer to stick to yours. “It’s because-” you purr, batting your lashes so sultry. Spitting against his lips, “-you’re such a pain in the ass, Toru.”

And then he’s cumming - and cumming and cumming so hard that Gojo doesn’t have the time to be embarrassed. All he can really think about is the syrupy slow slosh of his seed painting inside your gummy walls, shooting out in thick dredges. 

You giggle, eyeing down at the puddle of cum and saturated slick oozing down your thighs. Leaking out of your weepy slit, “Heh…for someone that wanted me to hngh- s-speak up so much, you sure are weak, Toru.”

The second roll of his nickname on your tongue is enough for Gojo to be gushing out another wave of potent cum into your snug channel. Hissing, he’s swiping at the creamy ring forming around his hilt, pooling the mess on the large pads of his fingers before-

“Maybe s’better when you-” Bullying them between the seam of your mouth, he’s swirling around your hot tongue. “-don’t speak.” Your answering glare is enough, “J-just kidding!”

A/N. If y’all need me I’ll be in my prayer circle manifesting for a Gojo comeback…

Plagiarism not authorized.

[kurooh]

FILL ME UP ! — BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

⊹₊˚. he thinks you look so pretty with his cum dripping from your pussy.

⟡ feat. aged up! midoriya izuku, bakugō katsuki, kirishima eijirou, dabi, takami keigo.

⟡ warnings: 18+ content (mdni), f! reader, breeding, mentions of pregnancy, unprotected sex, oral [f receiving], cum eating.

⟡ xoxo, juno: i’m sorry this is so short ): the past 72 hours have been horrible hahah

— MIDORIYA IZUKU.

unsurprisingly, he wants to get you pregnant someday; he cums the hardest whenever he thinks about filling you up with his cum and picturing your swollen belly.

“ah, baby, i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna cum— fuck! where do you want it?” izuku stutters, hips jerking wildly as pleasure zaps through him like lightning.

“inside, ‘zuku..”

“a-are you sure?” his voice rises in surprise and he doesn’t know where to put his hands when you thrust your ass into his pelvis. your eyes are hooded when you turn, tossing him a look over your shoulder that has him spilling inside of you with a desperate whine.

izuku cums so much that it starts to run down the length of his cock, so he collects the excess on his fingers before rubbing his sticky fingers against your clit.

you moan lowly, “fuck it deep, izu.”

with a shaky nod and a tight grip on your hips, he complies, thrusting into you hard. despite having cum already, he feels his cock throb, eager to fill you up again.

“can i cum again, please? need to fill you up!”

— BAKUGŌ KATSUKI.

he fills you up because he has a possession kink.. in his mind, cumming inside you makes you his. he’ll take photos/videos of you dripping with his cum and jerk off to it later.

“s-shit, your pussy’s so fuckin’ tight,” katsuki grits out, pressing into the backs of your thighs to make the mating press a little closer. your ankles rest on his shoulders, feet dangling, gold anklet with a ‘k’ he gave you catching the afternoon light through the window.

you grin up to him, before pleasure washes over your whole body and your face falls as you moan. “go ahead and fill it up, kat.. i need it so badly.”

“shit, you’re not on the pill.” crimson eyes are full of worry and thoughtfulness.

“i don’t fucking care,” you groan, your eyes rolling back when the tip of his cock presses deep inside you, in just the right place.

katsuki doesn’t doubt you, or object — after all, he wants to fill you up. but why are his balls clenching at your words, his cock spilling cum deep inside you so quickly?

you feel his cock tighten inside you before heat is gushing all over you, sending you right into your own orgasm. he pulls back to stare, watching wide eyed as his cum drips out of your fluttering hole.

“fuck, you’re so good. i’ll never be able to pull out again, god.”

— KIRISHIMA EIJIROU.

he loves to make you as messy as possible, and then he’ll lick it all up.

“mmmh, ‘m still sensitive eiji..” your words come out as a soft mewl as your boyfriend spreads your legs open eagerly.

“wanna taste,” eijirou mumbles, eyes hooded as he notices your hole clench on nothing as he licks smeared cum off your thigh. “i also wanna make you cum again, yeah?”

“y-yeah,” you stutter when he drags his tongue along the sides of your pussy, collecting your squirt and his own cum on his tongue. eijirou swallows, kissing your clit with a quiet moan before he’s licking a stripe between your folds.

when he hears you whimper at the light touch, he fights off a smile and dips his tongue inside you easily. he tastes the bitterness of his own cum and the sweetness of your slick, and lets out a groan as his cock throbs against the bed beneath him.

“god.. ‘s good.” he doesn’t hesitate to pull back, pressing his tongue flat against your clit. then he slides his fingers into you, looking up at you eagerly. eijirou’s eyes meet yours, and he grins at just how shy you look.

“don’t worry baby, i’m gonna make you squirt again, yeah? focus on me.”

— DABI [TODOROKI TŌYA].

whenever tōya’s feeling jealous, he fills you up and makes you cry.. sometimes he likes to fuck you on top of a building or in an alleyway during pro-hero hawks’ patrols.

“you gotta scream for me, doll,” tōya hisses before biting into your shoulder while his grip on your neck gets tighter.

face burning with horniness and head spinning, you let out a long whine, and it echoes in the secluded alleyway. “fill me up and make me yours, tōya!”

he ignores the rustle of feathers from above, and only fucks into you harder. a thin sheen of sweat gleams on the darkened skin of his chest, the staples shining even more in the light.

tōya thinks you look beautiful like this, back against the wall and oh so pliant — letting him bounce you on his cock, or fuck your hole until all you can slur out is his name.

“louder. let the whole city know who’s fuckin’ you, doll.”

— TAKAMI KEIGO.

though he’s human, his bird-like quirk influences so much about him, such as his food choices, interests, and the way he likes to fuck.

vermillion wings rustle beneath you as you ride keigo’s cock into oblivion. his head is thrown back, golden tufts spread out on the car seat around it; above, your holding down both of his wrists tightly.

“lemme touch you, dove, come onnn.”

“no,” you gasp after a particularly deep stroke, “you’re just g-gonna bounce me up ‘nd down, and i want to ride you.”

your eyes close tightly as you languidly drag yourself up and down, pussy squeezing him so tight he feels like he’s about to burst. slowly, he feels himself thicken, approaching his high.

it’s as if a switch is flipped.

without even holding your hips and waist, keigo slams his hips upwards into you, stretching out your pussy almost mercilessly.

“keigo! that’s not— fuck!” your voice breaks off into a gasp, tits bouncing as he fucks you hard.

“g-gotta fill you up, dove.” his golden eyes are dark, swirling with some kind of breeding instinct. his wings are fluttering now, beating the air so strongly that goosebumps rise on your skin.

keigo’s entire body lurches beneath you as he chokes out a groan, “nghhh— i’m cumming, shit..”

his cock spills inside of you, effectively filling you up. however, he makes no move to pull out. when you start to sit up, he stops you.

“mm mm. let’s let it sit for a while, ‘nd i’ll stay inside, alright?”

[qinche-cvmslvt]

Taste of the Forbidden Fruit

Content Warning: 21+, SMUT, NSFW, No Plot, oneshot, Caleb, ‘Taboo’ Romance.

A/N: Look… I have a problem hahah. I ain’t a Caleb girly but I can’t help but feel with the latest story update that we’ll be seeing him again very soon. Also, I got this pic off Pinterest so credit to the OG artist! @/吉士牛牛堡

“Ah..Nngh..god..” your whispered moans fill the room, blissfully melding together with Caleb’s soft groans and grunts.

His mouth and tongue work up and down your neck, tasting your salty sweet skin.

“Shh, Pipsqueak… you’ll wake Gramma…” His voice was strained as he was desperately fighting back the urge to say fuck it and pound into you like there was no tomorrow.

As much as you wanted him to fuck hard and fast, you know you couldn’t indulge those desires, couldn’t risk Josephine finding out. You know she would be disgusted with this relationship. After all, you and Caleb grew up together, she raised you two together like siblings. Honestly, all that did was further increase the attraction between you two.

You watched him grow into this incredible handsome man and your perverted feelings for him grew along with him. Now he was here, in your bed fucking you and lavishing you, returning that burning passion he has always felt for you too.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles behind his lower back, forcing him to be closer to you.

“Ah.. Caleb.. I want more…” you whimpered into his ear.

Caleb shuddered. God he loved seeing you like this. He’s wanted this for as long as he can remember. Hearing you beg for him almost made him come undone right then and there. His restraint fraying at an alarming speed.

His hands went to your ass cheeks and gripped the plump flesh tightly. Lifting you up and tilting your hips. He started pistoning his thick cock faster and harder.

“F-fuck.. you’re gonna be the death of me…” He groaned into the crook of your neck.

Your hands fly up to his shoulders, your fingernails marking up his soft skin. Staking your claim on his body.

“Yes..yes..fuck yes…” This new angle he found was heaven, hitting your g-spot with every stroke.

Your head falls back into the pillows as your moans leave your lips like a prayer. The coil in your belly winding tighter and tighter. Threatening to snap any second.

Caleb bit down on your neck, sweat beading his forehead. He was really, desperately trying to hold back his release but the way your pussy walls were starting to flutter and clench his cock was making it an impossible mission.

“Fuck…” he groaned. “I.. need you to cum first..pipsqueak..”

Caleb suddenly pulled out, untangling your legs from around him. His big palms find your inner thighs and he spreads your legs wider. He takes a second to appreciate the sight of your well fucked hole before burying his face in your sweet cunt.

Your body responds pleasantly to him, back arching off the bed, grinding your cunt against his face as he feasts on you like a man who was stranded in the desert and found a water source.

“C-Caleb! Please! I need you inside me..”

Caleb responds by sucking on your clit, one of his hands holding your legs open makes its way to your dripping cunt and he starts to finger you. Two fingers, knuckle deep feeling your hot wet walls. Searching for the sweet spot that’ll make you scream.

“Not yet baby…” he swirls his tongue. “Not until you cum on my face.” And there he goes again.

His fingers and tongue pleasuring you until your body starts to tremble. Your fingers gripping the bed sheets until your knuckles turn white.

“Oh fuck oh fuck!” You grab a pillow and press it against your face. Trying to muffle the sounds of your moans.

You were close again. The coil on the precipice of snapping. Caleb finds your g-spot and stars burst behind your eyelids, your toes curl as an intense orgasm rips through you. You scream into your pillow, muffling the cries of pleasure.

Caleb laps up your release making sure no drop goes to waste. He could eat your sweet cream all fucking night if he had the chance. His cock was throbbing now, aching to be buried back inside your hot cunt.

He lifts his head up, his purple eyes darkened with lust. “Fuck you taste incredible.”

You collapse back onto the bed, your body still shuddering from the intense orgasm.

Not giving you any chance to recover he flips you onto your stomach and puts you on your knees.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful like this,” Caleb lines up the head of his cock to your drenched entrance.

He sheaths himself inside you to the hilt. Groaning as your pussy swallows each delicious inch of him. “God! You were made for me.” He gasps before starting to rut into you.

Your hands death grip the bed sheets and you bite your pillow to hide your cries of pleasure. Fuck he felt so deep behind you like this. Each thrust making the familiar ache in your lower belly build.

Why does something that can be seen as taboo feel so fucking right?! The way he makes you feel, perhaps you were made for him like this? To be fucked and loved by this man. Your childhood friend, your ‘big brother’. You never saw him as a brother though, no. Sisters don’t feel this way about their brothers.

“Ah..mmpf..Caleb!” The pillow swallows your sounds of ecstasy. The sound of your coupling echoes in the bedroom.

Caleb’s thrusting starts to lose its rhythm as he feels himself on the verge of release.

“God… I’m gonna cum..” He groans through gritted teeth. Not wanting this moment to end. The feel of your warmth wrapped around him, clenching, sucking him in deeper. It’s all too much.

Suddenly he flips you back onto your back. He hooks your legs over his elbows and crashes his lips onto yours. Swallowing your loud moans as he fucks you deeper than before.

“D-don’t stop..” you moan against his lips.

“Fuccckk..!” Caleb’s resolve is almost at shattering point. He can feel you on the verge of another orgasm.

“Let’s cum together baby!” He angles his hips, finding your sweet spot and suddenly you’re lost in a daze of intense pleasure again. Your orgasm ripples through you, your pussy clamping down hard on his pistoning cock.

“Caleb!” You cry out.

The feel of your pussy clenching him tightly is Caleb’s undoing. He buries himself to the hilt as he cums deep inside you. Thick, hot spurts of his semen coat your insides and you love it. There’s so much of it, it’s leaking out of your pussy.

As you collapse back onto the mattress, spent and sated, he collapses on top of you. His body still shuddering from aftershocks of his intense orgasm.

You’re both out of breath, Caleb buries his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and the smell of your sex.

You wrap your arms around him, holding him close to you as you both linger in the afterglow of your combined orgasms.

“Welcome back Caleb…” you finally murmur after what feels like hours of cuddling.

Caleb chuckles and starts peppering kisses up your neck and jaw.

“Thanks Pipsqueak.” He gives you a soft lingering kiss on your lips, his tongue exploring the depths of your mouth. When he finally pulls away, taking in a deep breath. He look into your eyes, his pupils blown out so much you can only see a sliver of purple.

You just know he’s already thinking about going for another round.

“I’m glad to be back.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[dragon-wolf68]

dc x Dp prompt

So Danny phantom the scrawny ghost boy. Often when he grows up he is depicted as an absolute short king. But I raise you this, Maddie is 5’9 and jack is 6’9 so with those genetics there is no way he would be short no instead he towers over everyone even Dan and everyone is surprised

It’s a normal day in Gotham the birds are cawing, the flowers are wilting, and crime is everywhere. A beautiful day in Dan Phantoms book. He moved to Gotham a few years ago so that he would have a steady source of ectoplasm, and able to fulfill his obsession, wrath. So with that in mind he works as an Arkham prison guard, he’s able to feed off of the prisoners hate and gets to fight them whenever there’s a prison break, which is quite often.

but today is special, today his family is visiting because Jazz wants to become a psychiatrist at Arkham. Both he and Danny tried to talk her out of it but she’s just a stubborn and hard headed as the rest of them. *Ring* oh that must be them

Dan: JAZZ!! Great to see you has it already been 4 years man time sure does fly by.

Jazz: It sure does, you know you could have visited anytime.

Dan: I could but then again a security guards job is never done and I’m one of the best. Now where’s the brat I hope the little twerp did make you come to Gotham all by yourself. Jazz: No he’s here, he’s just getting our bags from the car.

Dan: Ah no wonder he’s taking so long he probably buried under the bags.

Danny coming up the stairs: No need to worry about me, I’m here

Hearing his voice Dan turns and sees little Danny, only he’s not so little any more. Standing at a whopping 7 feet tall Danny towers over everyone. Dan stands agape, shocked at how tall Danny was.

Dan: HOW, WHEN DID YOU GET SO TALL!!! Last I saw you, you were struggling getting past 5’6!

Danny: Hahah, yeah nobody saw it coming, I guess it just took a while for the Fenton gens to kick in, I mean have you seen our family, short is not a word I’d us to describe them.

Dan: But how, I’m your future self and I’m only 6’9!

Danny: I hate to break it to you Dan but I don’t think absorbing Vlads ghost half did you any favors, I mean he’s plenty tall, but he’s only 6’5.

Jazz: Well while you two talk I’m going to settle in.

Jazz proceeds to walk away form the two, and once she turns the corner Danny gets a hardened look and hooks Dans head with his arm. Dan almost shouts in protest thinking Danny will give him the shovel talk about hurting Jazz when Danny surprises him by saying

Danny whispering: So what’s the plan for keeping Jazz away from Red Hood

Dan surprised: What???

Danny: Oh don’t look at me surprised, we obviously have to keep Jazz away from Red Hood. You know Red Hood the bad boy who has a rap sheet a mile long, has a motorcycle, likes kids, and loves Jane Austin. The moment jazz and Hood meet Jazz will want to jump him

Dan processing: and that’s a bad thing why???

Danny: Because Red Hood has a thing for tall redheads, and Jazz is exactly his type, and if they get together that means we’ll have the bats crawling down our backs.

Dan: oh my Ancients your right we have to keep them away from each other no matter what.

now if he gets to sabotaging Danny’s love life in the process then all the better, because he knows a silent little bat that could kick his ass that Danny would fall head over heels for.

[fastandcarlos]

Soft Launch : ̗̀➛ Lance Stroll

summary: follow along as you and lance slowly reveal your relationship to the world, and your ever so slightly protective brother charles

pairing: lance x leclerc!reader

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and 139,503 others

ynusername: nice way to spend the end of race week ☺️☀️

7,301 comments

username1: wtf yn you can’t just suddenly spring something like this on us 🤯

charles_leclerc: excuse me what happened to heading back to the hotel early to sleep??

username2: hahah not charles having no idea about this 😂

username3: I just wanna know who this guy is…

arthur_leclerc: you’ve gotta lot of explaining to do 🙄

ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc have to catch me first 🤷🏻‍♀️

arthur_leclerc: @/ynusername why have you suddenly turned into a sassy devil??

username4: time to put my investigative skills to use 🔍

carlossainz55: thank you for making your brother freak out, just what I needed on the plane home!!

ynusername: @/carlossainz55 pls remind him how many times he’s surprised me with a new girlfriend over the past few years 😂

username5: it must be someone who was also at the race, but that’s thousands of people 😭

alexandrasaintmleux: ignore your brothers…I want to hear everything 😂

ynusername: @/alexandrasaintmleux knew I could count on you 😘

charles_leclerc: @/alexandrasaintmleux um no you’re supposed to be on my side!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by logansargeant, danielricciardo and 294,604 others

lancestroll: definitely think I could get used to this 💞💞

38,596 comments

username6: ah finally lance has got himself a girlfriend!! 🥺🥺

danielricciardo: lmao scotty mentioned you had a girlfriend but I thought he was joking 😂😂

username7: she looks beautiful, why not let us see her face???

estebanocon: damn bro, looks like you’ve been pulling out all the stops!

lancestroll: @/estebanocon when you know they’re someone special then you gotta spoil them

username8: notice how he’s cropped the photo so we can’t see the reflection in the first pic 🙄

username9: damn these photos are just a reminder that money talks

fernandoalo_oficial: now I see why you couldn’t hang around for a coffee today 😂😂

username10: clearly he must like this girl to be this romantic 🥺

logansargeant: fancy wining and dining me like you do your girl? ☺️

lancestroll: @/logansargeant date night next week pending…

username11: I promise we’re happy for you lance…just spill the beans

chloestroll: my baby bro is all grown up 🤧🤧

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lancestroll, carlossainz55 and 189,482 others

ynusername: adventuring with you is my favourite thing to do ❤️🩷

28,573 comments

username12: eurgh have I ever told you how much I hate soft launches??

charles_leclerc: you just wait until you arrive back in monaco…you’re mine!

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc you gotta catch me first 🏃🏻‍♀️💨

charles_leclerc: @/ynusername I swear-

username13: anyone else think this looks a tad like one of the drivers 🤔🤔

username14: so we’re thinking tall, athletic, dark hair…

carlossainz55: whilst I might not be your brother, I’m begging you to stop sending yours on the verge of a nervous breakdown 😭

username15: peep how lance also announced he was in a relationship last week too 🤷🏻‍♀️

pierregasly: why are you making me so bloody invested in your relationship yn!?

username16: aquariums are such cute places for dates 😭😭

ybffusername: IM WAITING FOR YOU TO GIVE ME DETAILS HURRY YOUR ASS UP

username17: whoever this guy is he clearly looks like he’s falling for yn hard

alexandrasaintmleux: I keep telling your brother to take me to the aquarium, he never listens!!

ynusername: @/alexandrasaintmleux when I’m home we’ll go on a thousand aquarium dates 🐠🐠

username18: I can’t be the only one who noticed that lance liked..

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartinf1 and 139,592 others

ynusername: experiencing life in the paddock in a different colour this weekend 🏎️💚

14,964 comments

username19: I would not like to be in the leclerc household tonight 😂

charles_leclerc: wtaf this is the ultimate betrayal 😭😭

username20: this has trouble written all over it!!

carlossainz55: can’t believe you abandoned the red corner yn 💔

username21: but why did she pick aston martin over all the other teams??

landonorris: all those times I’ve told you to come and be in our garage but you go here instead 🙄

ynusername: @/landonorris I had my reasons!!

username22: the biggest clue yet that lance is our mystery man surely 🔍

username23: can’t believe people are ruling out nando so easily 😂😂

arthur_leclerc: I’m telling mum that you didn’t support your brother this weekend!

ynusername: @/arthur_leclerc I’m a grown woman who can do what she wants 🤦🏻‍♀️

fernandoalo_oficial: it was lovely to finally meet you properly this weekend 💚

username24: i hope lance realises he’s a dead man walking with charles around

lancestroll: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, arthur_leclerc and 169,692 others

ynusername: sailing away with my best friend 🤍🛥️

14,604 comments

username25: best friend 🤯🤯🤯

alexandrasaintmleux: @/charles_leclerc take note 📝

username26: they’re still not ready to admit they’re dating are they 😭

charles_leclerc: and here I was thinking that I was your best friend 💔

username27: you cannot convince me that third photo is not lance btw

pierregasly: why am I now playing this stupid guessing game too 🤦🏻‍♂️

username28: only lance would do all this for a girl, he’s a true romantic ❤️💕

arthur_leclerc: how about sailing back home cause we’re still waiting for some explanations???

username29: I love how they still think we haven’t figured everything out 😂

chloestroll: well isn’t this just the cutest date ever, this guy must be obsessed 🥺

ynusername: @/chloestroll what can I say, I’m a lucky girl 🩷🩷

username30: I just want to sail away with lance stroll too yn, I feel ya!

lancestroll: look at that beautiful smile 💞

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynusername, estebanocon and 295,608 others

lancestroll: in my boyfriend era 👑

13,704 comments

username31: lance is glowing in his boyfriend era wtf

estebanocon: idk what this girl has done to you but I don’t recognise you anymore 😂

danielricciardo: is it wrong to say I’m obsessed with boyfriend era lance??

username32: I wanna know who put the smile on his face 😭

username33: surely it’s obvious who put the smile on his face??

scottyjames: since when were you so boyfriend material 😂🤧

pierregasly: I’m only here cause apparently there’s a soft launch going on and I want the gossip 😂

username34: I’m so happy that you’re so happy lance!!

charles_leclerc: funny how you’ve told me nothing about this new girlfriend…

username35: now these photos make me want lance as my boyfriend too

chloestroll: these are the cutest photos, can’t wait to remind you of these every birthday for the rest of our lives 😂😂😂😂

username36: everyone needs a lance stroll in their life ☺️☺️

ynusername: looks like your girlfriend is very lucky to have someone as funny as you 🥺

lancestroll: @/ynusername no no I’m the lucky one 🫠

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lancestroll, charles_leclerc and 159,925 others

ynusername: turns out dating an f1 driver is a lot cooler than being the sibling of one 🥺🩷

21,573 comments

username37: they’ve finally gone official 🎉🎉🎉

chloestroll: my two fave people 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

username38: I can’t cope with how adorable these two are!!

charles_leclerc: there are thousands of people who would disagree btw 🏎️💪🏻

username39: can’t wait for lance to crash all future leclerc family gatherings 😂

lancestroll: seems to me that your boyfriend driver is a lot fitter than your brother driver too 🤔💕

ynusername: @/lancestroll oh he’s definitely the hottest 🫠

carlossainz55: don’t tell charles but he did secretly tell me that he was happy earlier…

charles_leclerc: @/carlossainz55 that was supposed to stay between me and you 🖕🏻

username40: this makes my heart so so happy 💕💕

fernandoalo_oficial: thank god I don’t have to keep that a secret anymore 😂

username41: thank you for ending the soft launch game!

pierregasly: why do I feel proud that I guessed it was lance all along 🤦🏻‍♂️

username42: now this is what we call an adorable f1 couple 💞🏎️

arthur_leclerc: I guess I won’t be needing that explanation anymore…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

requests for smaus are currently open!!

[jellykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Jinwoo x Isekaid! Artist! Reader ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 044 ✦ ┆・

[Tw: I think this fall under depictions of depression and panic attacks. Please, if you're not in the headspace, do not read this. ]

╰┈➤ ❝ [ My Muse] ¡! ❞

Isekaing to Solo Leveling is one thing, but living in this world is just... Way too brutal for your poor heart.

Why is that? Anxiety is a major enemy.

What do you mean everyone else is living normally not having little paranoid moments that lead to panic attacks with overtaking at the possibility of a gate opening somewhere near you and monsters would come out?

Sung Jinah's school wasn't even safe. How are you gonna live?

Anyway.

You have a job to do.

Even though you just wanna spend all of your time crying in the corner of your room and praying to god to protect you when technically you aren't even religious.

But what are you to do?

It's not like Sung Jinwoo will swoop in and save you from misery.

...Hahah, if only.

You are one of his more delulu fans, like every other girl in this country— You are a big fan.

Well, except the fact that you know far more things about Jinwoo since you came from a world where he is fiction.

The flex you have is that you know how awfully adorable that petty bastard is when he was still an E-ranker. Those Jinwoo simps will never know the fact that Jinwoo has the fluffiest and softest looking cheeks ever.

Not to mention, you have all of his powers memorized to even the titles those powers have. You can name a lot of his shadows.

Of course the easiest to name are Beru, Igris, Bellion, Kaisel, Tank,.... And the easiest,... One, two, three, four.... Yeah, you get it.

But why are you being so smug? As if you 're not the same fool who secretly buys Jinwoo polaroids. Coming from this country full of fangirls is a haven for you since there is quite... The plethora of Jinwoo trinkets.

And you, being a lovestruck fool, went all in and took "Take all my money" to the next level even though the man you're obsessing over is 10x more richer than you.

But ah, this isn't the time to fawn over your Jinwoo merch paradise.

You have work.

Thankfully enough, this world has given you mercy. Despite it preying on your paranoid self, it gave you the blessing of living the life you've always wanted.

And that is to be a freelance artist.

Not doing your average 9-5, crying about the lack of fame you receive that hinders the pathway to making a successful art career, not having to listen to family members berating your love for art as low as a drug abuse.

In this world, no one is going off about your craft, no one is belittling your passion to something akin to a crime.

Like it's just a pathetic hobby and there's no meaning to all the hard work you put in the past years improving your skills, there's no value to being able to draw squares and circles more impressive than others, there's nothing note worthy of being able to pick and choose colours— There's none of that.

To be honest, there were even lots of moments where you wanted to give up, where you realized maybe they're right.

Even if you had starved yourself just to save up for your art materials, even if you work hard micro-analyzing your artstyle, even if you spent hours studying the algorithms, even if you shed blood sweat and tears just for the glimmer of hope that maybe you can turn your art into something more— It's all just delusions.

Like how you hope to be one of those big artists who inspire other people to create their own pieces. Like how you secretly hope that maybe your artworks can bring a smile to anyone's face if they come across it. Like how you silently pray to every single star that may your wish come true.

You wanted to keep hoping, for the slim chance of having a single magnus opus that will instantly put you in the limelight— You wanted to keep having your hand outstretched to that tiny light.

But everyday, with each piece, you start to realize that your dreams are all for nothing.

You had been so focused on art that it's the only thing you have that defines who you are as a person and as an individual.

Art is what made you human.

Slowly, your innocent dreams molded itself into a twisted and vile poison that ate you from the inside out. Your love for creating backfired and now it's a blur if your passion stems from adoration or you just ran with it because it's the only thing that made you feel relevant in this world.

Maybe you should give up.

Even if there is a drastic improvement in your art with each piece, what good is it if it can't guarantee that career you oh so desperately want? The big artists say that you should make art for yourself, well yeah, they're right. But what if even if you do that it doesn't work?

Colour theory, shape language, line language, composition— All of those improved out of sheer love to learn. You've seen other people around you get careers out of it so it will happen to you?

Right?...

Right?

You're not a problematic artist, you don't make trouble, you don't make enemies, you don't participate in drama, you stay humble and eloquent.

Surely it will work... Right?...

Hahah.

In that world?

No it didn't.

It did not.

You died in your deathbed after being involved in a hit and run.

And after a long period of slumber, you have awoken in this world where somehow you are a renowned artist.

It felt shallow, really.

Suddenly having all of that in a snap of a finger through death?

Hah.

It felt like it mirrors Jinwoo's life. Except he had rightfully earned the glory of his powers.

Truthfully, you love him because of that.

What was it?

Ah yes.

"Because I was rock bottom, I longed for the highest peak."

That was the line that made you love him.

As someone who had no future in your art career, it was that line that made your heart yearn for him.

Two unfortunate souls who struggle in the same thing in different dimensions, except one managed to create that dream into reality.

Sure, you have the glory now. And although it made you so happy, it still felt so shallow because you didn't achieve this through hardwork. You just had to die.

You had to be dead.

It took dying to be given the mercy of having your dreams be granted.

And that just made you feel so... So awful.

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

With a canvas on one hand, your painting materials neatly arranged in a bag in the other hand— You take a deep breath and enter the party.

Brilliant golden lights twinkle above your head coming from the magnificent chandelier hanging above. Cameras flashing, the clinking of glasses as hunters and celebrities discussed amongst themselves dressed in luxurious outfits and blinging jewelry.

The sight made your stomach sink and a lump in your throat forming.

This is an entirely different world you knew from the lonely greys and blues.

You look around frantically, almost panicking at the overwhelming chatter and blinding lights.

"Ah, you're here" A voice snaps you out of it.

You turn to see your sponsor, Choi Jong-in flashing a polite and handsome smile. You bow your head politely.

"Please," Jong-in simply shakes his head, "No need to be so polite. I am pleased that you have arrived in time. Champagne?"

He extends a glass towards you and you shake your head, sheepishly saying "O-oh... I'm not really an alcohol enjoyer. I'm fine."

"Ah, I see" He nods apologetically before gesturing you to a clearer space.

Jong-in escorts you to a less crowded area of the ball, the lessened crowd and noise calming your accelerated heartbeat down.

"If there is anything you need, please feel free to call me or the waiters" He says kindly, "You are also free to eat food."

"Thank you, Mr. Choi" You bow politely.

Before he could even reply, Jong-in was called over by a beautiful blonde girl you knew all too well.

Cha Hae-in.

She's as lovely as she was in the manhwa panels, with that red dress and her neatly tied hair— She was a sight to behold.

But as soon as you see a tall man clad in black, you feel a distinct thump in your heart, a twisting kind of small pain that made you feel like it stopped beating along with the way your lungs stopped breathing— You knew who it was.

"A guest?..." He inquires, making your heart thump even harder at the sound of that deep voice you only heard through the speakers of your phone and laptop.

"Mr. Sung, I'm glad you could make it along with my vice master" Jong-in hums, "This is an artist I'm sponsoring, I thought it would be a good idea to commemorate this important event celebrating humanity's win against the gates"

"Ah, I see" Jinwoo's handsome grey eyes would sweep onto your anxious form who is fidgeting uncontrollably in her hands. "I'm Sung Jinwoo,"

He extends a hand, making you look up at him with an even nervous look. It took you a while to extend your hand, and the moment your palm touched his— You felt as of you're touching someone from a different species. Something too unreal and divine.

You barely had even managed to speak your name out with how much of a nervous wreck you are. Shaking his hand didn't happen if it weren't for Jinwoo gently doing it and letting you pull your hand away.

Your palms may have been trembling, but now it's even more erratic as you step back, not meeting his gaze.

Thank gods Jong-in decided to start a conversation to pivot Jinwoo's attention away from you.

As you attempt to calm yourself with a persistent panic attack, you feel a soft tap on your hands.

"Thank you for coming, I-I hope you enjoy your time" Hae-in says in her hesitant voice.

And you, who cant mutter a single word after your very first encounter with Jinwoo— Only muster a polite nod at her as she turns away to join Jong-in and Jinwoo in their conversation.

You were on a trance for almost five minutes, before finally deciding to set up your easel and canvas. You took out two different mason jars and filling them up with water; the gouache paint you will be using as a medium; the ceramic palette you have been using for quite a while now; and finally gently arranging your brushes.

Jong-in didn't specify what you should be painting for this event. But decided to paint the stage. An hour into the event, Jinwoo would start giving his speech as he is the main hero of the war against the gates and monarchs—As well as the person this whole event is dedicated to.

You had to pause in your process of painting the canvas, just to give respect to Jinwoo.

Your idol.

Your role model.

The man of your dreams.

His words aren't even registering as you can't help but be lost in a trance as he continues with his speech. Unconsciously, your hand raised itself and started to paint carefully, your eyes fixated on the hunter as your hand moved with a mind on its own.

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

Jong-in was extremely worried for the artist he had hired, he could tell from earlier she was having a panic attack with the hesitance. And when Jinwoo came into the picture, it seemed to frighten her all the more. He quietly called for his secretary to add at least 40% more of the initial payment that was planned to compensate for the unintentional distress he had put her onto.

While Jinwoo was giving his speech, he couldn't help but check on her by glancing from the distance.

In that canvas, he saw the stage, and in that stage was Jinwoo.

The artist was carefully painting Jinwoo.

Delicate strokes despite her eyes not on the cloth and brush. She was just mindlessly moving her hand as she looks at Jinwoo.

"Ah... I see it now."

Jong-in quietly smiles to himself.

It wasn't that she was frightened of Jinwoo's intimidating presence. No way does someone scared of a person have that same intense look with such dilated pupils.

With a determined hum, Jong-in knew exactly what to do.

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

It had been three days since that event, and Jinwoo was attending to paperwork when he was informed of Jong-in's visit.

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with a bit of worry that his 'senior' might scold him for renting out gates in territory of Hunter's guild.

To his surprise, Jong-in entered carrying a rather large thing into his office.

"???" Jinwoo cocks up an eyebrow, silently inquiring Jong-in at what is the thing he brought in.

"Take a look, hunter Sung" Jong-in simply says and the hunter reluctantly stood up from his chair to approach the item his senior placed down.

When Jinwoo pulled off the protective cloth, he was met with a brilliant painting that felt like it was straight out of a renaissance era painting.

The red curtains were blood red and shaded softly. The wood is delicately painted, with even tiny specks that indicates the painter's exquisite attention to detail, but most importantly— His eyes were drawn to the middle, where a man stood center.

It was him.

His face was delicately painted, even his tousled black locks were intricately painted to imitate the way his strands behaved, his body language was painted in a relaxed but still managed to somehow translate the undertone of authority and power he held over the crowd that was purposely painted in a blurry manner to give more focus to him. Even the lighting of the stage was expertly imitated on the canvas.

The piece looked as if its goal was to put emphasis on his—the man who is standing in the golden limelight. As if it were trying to put him on a divine pedestal, to show him off as this some sort of god woth the painting.

"Who?..." Jinwoo finally manages to inquire.

"The artist chose you as her muse for the painting" Jong-in says, fixing his tie as he does so. "Quite the talent, no? Even us hunters who have quite the skill in the art of combat, are taken aback by such craft. It was as if she had magic on her very fingertips despite being just a civilian."

"Her muse," Jinwoo repeats, not knowing what to feel about it.

"It would be... Quite indecent of me to keep a portrait of a rival in my guild, no?" Jong-in coughs out, making Jinwoo awkwardly nod. "Consider it as a gift and a thank you for assisting my guild in jeju raid as well as your role in the war."

"I have quite the awards really, no need" He shakes his head.

"Yes," Jong-in glances back at the painting. "But I think that you, as the painter's muse, must see for yourself this piece created on your image."

"Mn...."

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

Jinwoo quite frankly grew curious of the little painter he met and made him the centerpiece of her painting. He was honestly worried at first, she was so small compared to him and she was trembling at the sight of him. It didn't help that he noticed how she grew more shaken after they exchanged pleasantries.

Maybe he had gripped her hand a little too much.

Beru on the other hand, was visibly very pleased at the painting as well as the other shadows who wont shut up about it.

Throughout his monotonous days and hours, Jinwoo would often think of the painter.

It feels... Weird to be in someone's painting.

It's unreal even.

But ah... By chance, he met that pleasant little painter again.

She was in the bookstore, picking up several heavy books. When he approached her, she was flustered and nearly dropped the books she was purchasing if it weren't for him assisting her.

Just like their first meeting, she was clearly bashful and anxious. So Jinwoo made space between them and made small talk.

Somehow, their small talks would develop into long and meaningful ones with the days passing of them having frequent encounters.

There is this tiny, tiny warmth in Jinwoo's heart whenever he finds himself in the presence of his painter.

His heart whom he thought had lost its capability to harbor affection— Is beating fast whenever he crosses paths with her.

There is... Something about her.

Her little habits, her never ending curiosity, her childish habits and her love for everything beautiful. Somehow, everything in her eyes has the potential to be a piece of artwork.

Jinwoo was never a creative soul, he's only ever creative at insults maybe.

So to see someone so dedicated to her own craft, to see someone so full of love for something... It's like peering into a different world he never thought was there.

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

Go Gunhee decided to visit Jinwoo, it was to thank the hunter again with coffee beans and two— Just to visit Jinwoo.

"Ah, hunter Sung," Gunhee smiles as the person he waited for appears. "I hope you don't mind, I just wanted to pop in"

"Not at all, director" Jinwoo smiles politely.

"That piece," The old man's gaze drifts to a painting hun by Jinwoo's side. "What a magnificent work of art. I heard Hunter Choi gifted it to you after the artist he hired decided to put you as the centerpiece. Truly such remarkable talent by a younger lady."

"Yes, hahah" Jinwoo awkwardly rubs his nape.as he serves Gunhee a cup of tea.

"My father told me that artists have a special kind of love" Gunhee hums, reminiscing. "He told me that having an artist love you is different. A writer glorifies you into pleasant words, a musician translates your beauty into compelling music and a painter immortalises all of you in a single painting. A blank canvas is a tool by painters that they use to communicate. All the ugliness of the world can be put into ink, and all the beauty into wonderful pops of pleasant colors"

He continues, "And through my years, this is one of the few most magnificent pieces I've ever seen that shows the painter's love for it's muse"

"Her muse," Jinwoo repeats it, "I've been told the same thing."

"A lovely feeling, no?" Gunhee chuckles, "To be loved by a person so full of love."

"...So that's what it means"

"..."

The old man's face wrinkles into a happier smile.

Young love, truly beautiful, isn't it?

⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪

"That colour is really pretty" You mutter absentmindedly glance at the flowing water underneath, as if trying to ingrain the memory and behaviour of it.

"Thinking of a new artwork, again?" Jinwoo asks, glancing down at the direction you were staring at. "I can't wait to see what you'll make."

"Your pieces are always so beautiful"

It felt as if something struck an arrow at your heart, you glance at Jinwoo— Completely frozen in state.

When he noticed the heavy silence, his eyes would befall on you before his mouth going a little agape.

You're crying.

"Did... I say something wrong?..." Jinwoo asks and you panic, immediately tearing your gaze away.

"No, no, no" You shake your head, hiding your shameful tears from Jinwoo.

Compliments with your art were never really foreign, but you, being the insecure sad soppy excuse of a human being would always downplay it most of the time.

You were never truly satisfied with yourself and anything you ever made. Mostly because you came from a household where everything is never enough.

Ultimately, that system has been fully ingrained into your body that it became your personality.

Colors are muddy, the lines aren't steady or too thick or thin, the anatomy is off, the composition isn't fluid and the harmony is all over the place.

You were always, always, critical of yourself.

Nothing is ever enough.

Your works aren't beautiful enough, and you thought they never will be.

But when Jinwoo told you your art was beautiful, it caused something to crack inside and burst open.

Maybe it's because you loved him so much. Maybe it's because he is the person you admire the most in your sorry, lonely life.

It was always Jinwoo who was in your mind whenever you had those bad episodes of just having silent mental breakdowns.

It's his image that became your most beloved saviour.

Perhaps you're sobbing because you're finally able to hear the words you've imagined he would during the times you daydreamed about him.

Or maybe... Your body reacted because you knew deep down that Jinwoo was never a liar.

That he didn't say those words out of empty praise, that he said your crafts is beautiful because they simply are.

In your broken, shattered heart a heavy yet soft warmth swelled. Swelling so much that you felt so overwhelmed and couldn't control your emotions.

That kind of validation just felt like it washed away all the doubts that plagued you for years.

As you cried uncontrollably, Jinwoo would instinctively reach his hand out and pull you in for a searing kiss. His tongue gently nudges your lips before shoving itself into it.

One flick.

Two flicks

Three flicks,...

Until you yourself cant even count it anymore.

He pulls back slowly, but still not far enough for you not to feel his hot breath fanning over your cheeks.

"I only said your paintings are beautiful and yet you are crying like this, sarang?" He rubs his nose against yours, "Just what happened to you that you're this emotional, hm? Did you not think what you make is stunning? Did you never once think that your pieces are captivating? Why are you crying like this? How hurt have you been that it feels like you're crying out this kind of sorrow I can't seem to understand?"

"Why does your sobs feel like you've been dealing with such loneliness that a simple sincere compliment breaks you to this extend?"

"Everything about you is beautiful. All of you is beautiful." Jinwoo says in that ever so gentle voice of his, "Never doubt that for even a single second."

꒰ 🪼 A/N: what started as another simple fluffy idea turned into something more... Personal :'DD. Sorry guys hahahahsheshdg. Idk when I will have the free time to make the second half of the cai bots yet but please look out for when I do. ꒱

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ — All stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌉Your Exciting Urban Love Story ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Life’s full of twists and turns, and we don’t often know beforehand the kinds of encounters that could change our lives forever. Before events actually take place, do you know if you’re being specifically guided towards a special someone? Have you ever thought of that? Some kind of an unexpected, but destined, rendezvous? Have you ever felt the pull? 🤪⭐️🤯

‘That day, that time, at that place; if I hadn’t met you, we would’ve remained eternally strangers.’ – Suddenly, A Love Story by Oda Kazumasa

series: Friends (2002)

deck-bottom: Queen of Swords, Red Alchemist (John Dee) & Priestess of Contemplation

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Pile 1 – Heartfelt Old-School Romance

‘Love, I know that someday real soon, you’ll be right next to me. Holding me so tight, so I will always be yours. Although we can’t be together now, remember I am here for you, and I know you’re there for me.’ – One (OST Friends 2002) by Lee Soo Young

unexpected rendezvous? – XIX The Sun

OMG this Pile has the strongest old school vibe. It feels very romantic in the sense of what you’d expect from it as depicted in movies, books and other forms of literature XD It’s open, honest, straightforward, without any pretences. This means your Destined Person is likely to show interest from the get go and make it clear to you that they’ve got intentions~ It could also be the other way around, although it’s more likely that you both share this mutual attraction from the start <3

It's very likely you meet your Destined Person during the daytime, but it could also mean outdoors or basically, where there’s a bright light for some reason LOL It’s a cheery situation and this rendezvous could happen as an ‘accident’. Like you’ll think there’s no way you could be meeting someone this important in the manner you find yourselves in! It’s just crazy! Probably even embarrassing for one or both of you XD

But, you’ll be glad the ‘accident’ happened at all. Without this tiny hiccup in the grand stream of Fate, you’d probably never crisscross each other’s paths. And what a delight it is to have met someone so similar to yourself! Someone who also lights up the darkest corners of your heart. Someone so positive and helpful and kind, and possibly also wise ;P Making you feel…what an aspiration of a person <3

ah, courtship! – 6 of Cups Rx

Your Destined Person is totally not an ex or anybody you’ve known in the past. Could also be someone from a foreign land (or you could be the foreigner in town). And yet, in spite of these immediate differences, you really do find yourselves to be very similar! Like two peas in a pod kind of similar! Which is so fascinating especially if you’re visibly different by nationality, race, custom and some such.

And yet, here you are sharing similar philosophies, taste in music, aesthetic, etc. Maybe even some past struggles with personal development, too. There are so many similarities shared between you that makes being with each other feel like a homecoming. You are awash by a sense of renewal of the spirit or of the psyche hahah This ‘foreigner’ is really just me in a different body~! And this whole thing motivates the both of you to become better people in general, but also for each other <3

There’s a genuine sense of appreciation for each other’s Souls, talents, skills and life’s many downfalls and triumphs. You both really connect on a mental level but especially on emotional and spiritual levels. And it’s such a beautiful thing because, all this time, with the people who seem more similar to yourself, you’ve never felt a connection this deep yet effortless. But this stranger… You view the world with eyes that seem to be made of the same cosmic material~

adoration ON – 4 of Cups Rx

Smile, baby~! Because your Destined Person’s smile literally brings sunshine and calm into your Life. If you get to meet them often, every day is a cosy day of fun and meaningful conversations. You see, up until the point juuust before you meet your Destined Person, Life could’ve gotten quite boring, stagnant, or you could’ve been quite disillusioned with your routine or the stream of events you were used to operating with. But when this person popped into your Life, it’s like being reborn in their inspiration.

Surely it’s Love? This much adoration. And how much you feel stronger and more excited about what could be next for you if you keep going? Surely, it’s something such as Love that could move you in this way? Yes, your Destined Person adores you in a mature and sensible way. They think very highly of you, so when you feel seen by someone just as capable, as motivated, someone so strong and positive, you can’t help but view yourself that way, too. Awesome by association, you know? :D

Their inspiration makes you go for a levelling up! That in itself—them adoring and cheering on you like that—becomes the fuel that makes Life full of wonders again! In essence, theirs is a Love that nurtures your Soul just by them having their heart connected to yours~ <3

MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💗

what signs are they receiving about you? – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

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Pile 2 – Business Partners Turned Power Couple?!

‘I kind of liked it your way, how you shyly placed your eyes on me. Did you ever know that I had mine on you? So let me come to you, close as I wanna be. Close enough for me to feel your heart beating fast.’ – Final Fantasy VIII (Eyes on Me) by Faye Wong

unexpected rendezvous? – Ace of Pentacles

Ah! This the power couple Pile! XD Chances are very high that you could meet your Destined Person at the workplace. This could also be a business partner of yours if you already have a business of your own. This could also mean meeting your Destined Person during a business event, trip or meeting. Basically, your unexpected rendezvous with your Destined Person has something to do with ‘work’. For some, this could also mean meeting your Destined Person at a ‘charity event’ if that’s something that’s deeply important to you <3

You could also meet your Destined Person when doing some ‘charity work’ such as helping the less fortunate or feeding the homeless or even when building a house for somebody else! So, this is a really cute Pile in which on the day you meet, you kinda intuitively know that something special is likely to occur…but you’re not quite sure what it could be. It’s just…such a good, cheery day and your heart is very wide and open. It’s very possible this occurs outside when the sun is out, too~

Even if you’re the type that’s been thinking and manifesting your Destined Person, this sudden meeting will still be very unexpected, possibly because you’ll have forgotten all about this reading LOL On the day you meet, there’ll be other people present and you won’t be at your own house or anywhere near it. Basically, there’s this ‘work’ vibe so you’ll definitely be working on something at some other place that’s not your house or theirs, though it could be somebody else’s house nevertheless😉

ah, courtship! – Queen of Wands Rx

You probably have gotten this from other readings as well but your Destined Person isn’t your usual ‘type’ if you have any. Like you normally wouldn’t fall for a person like this, whether it’s their face, race(?), height, age, or overall style and vibe. Even if you never declared a type, your friends could tell that you had a tendency to fall for a certain look, age group or behaviour LMAO But your Destined Person is kinda totally on the outside of those preferences… AT FIRST GLANCE!

Your Destined Person is without a doubt extremely attractive, but what really draws you to them is how pure and honest they are. It’s giving, ‘With that kind of a face you could be the smoothest criminal and still get away with most things, so how are you so, so… good?’ They may have a look that gets people misunderstanding them because they’re just that attractive, but your Destined Person is really lovely on the inside. Their heart is kind and tender, and this is the type of person who genuinely wants True Love <3 They got no game.

Upon closer investigation you’ll learn that your Destined Person has a character that’s everything you’ve ever dreamt and prayed for. You’ll see how this person opens up to you very quickly because they themselves can’t deny their attraction to you. They’ll be all over you very fast but they got no game on you. That’s not what they wanna do with you. This is a person, who, when they hold you, they hold all of you in their embrace to heal you and make you safe and very happy. Quite gallant, indeed! <3

adoration ON – 3 of Cups

It’s obvious to all of your friends/colleagues that there’s something unusual going on between you and your Destined Person XD The attraction you feel towards one another is undeniable! It can’t be hidden, especially from your Destined Person’s side. Their friends will notice just how different they are when looking at you, talking to you, just being with you. There’s a kind of cheerfulness that seems to shine only when you’re around; and it’s obvious to anyone who knows you both that there’s Love here.

Due to ‘work-related circumstances’ you may not become a couple right away—in spite of the attraction—but everybody at the workplace is whispering, and possibly even gossiping, speculating if there’s something more going on between you two LMAO For the most part, most people are SUPER SUPPORTIVE of you two. There’s just… something quite pure and innocent in the way you treat each other. You two adore each other in the softest, sweetest manner. And that’s such a breath of fresh air—aspirational, even.

As a means to get to know each other, your Destined Person is likely to hang out at ‘innocent’ places with you. You could have lunch breaks together quite a lot hahah They could accompany you to a café; grab a baguette at a boulangerie with you; run errands ordained by your bosses; and other activities that seem work-related and unromantic that could potentially turn accidentally romantic by some higher power XD Well, maybe that Higher Power is really just your intent😉

MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻💙

what signs are they receiving about you? – Red Physician (Galen of Pergamon)

how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Luck

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Pile 3 – Unexpected Love After a Total Heartbreak

‘The miracle of our rendezvous changed the colour of my tears. You make me feel brand new and I wanna Love that’s brand new. I don’t worry about the dark night where I can’t see the Cosmos because I can see you. You are my Shinin’ Star and I wanna be your Shinin’ Star.’ – La La La Love Song by Kubota Toshinobu

unexpected rendezvous? – Queen of Cups Rx

Some time in the future, you’ll have your heart broken by someone who’s irresponsible—prolly downright callous and even narcissistic. The whole experience is very likely to break you apart, leaving you traumatised and may even find it difficult to trust again. In some ways, you could be questioning your worth, wondering why nobody loved you the way you wanted.

‘I asked for snuggles, but all I got are struggles…!’ kind of frustration LMAO In many ways, you could’ve given up on the idea of love and romance. You’d given so much of yourself but got nothing in return—if anything, you got garbage and mistreatment in return! So, it’s likely you’d decide to take this time for self-reflection and building a connection with yourself. But that instead is the magical part!

On the way towards healing and loving yourself, very IMMEDIATELY the Universe sends you a match who’ll answer all of your prayers! By ‘immediately’, I really mean immediately! Like, straight away you will meet your Destined Person to replace all of the heartache you’ve sustained up until that point in your Life! Dang! The manifestation works way too fast it may take you by surprise! <3

ah, courtship! – VI The Lovers

Well, yes, for some of you reading this, the manifestation of your Destined Person could be in the flesh immediately. For some of you tho, this could mean ‘meeting’ your Destined Person in the spirit first! It could be that you begin to wake up to the notion of Soulmates (even Twin Flames, hopefully the real notions of it, if you are a Twin Flame indeed). If you’re meeting your Destined Person in the spirit first…

Their aenergy could come to haunt you regularly in the forms of…let’s see:

angel numbers (this could get persistent!); repeatedly seeing names, numbers and symbols that make you wonder if these signs are related to their identity in the physical realm; coming across memes, quotes and tarot readings online that seem to redirect your attention to this notion of a higher romance—a spiritual kind of Love; aaand receiving messages while seeing glimpses of them in your dreams~

For those that’ll manifest immediately in the physical, you’ll notice—immediately—that your Destined Person is the complete opposite of whoever caused your heartbreak in the first place. That in itself will be very healing for you because, immediately, you’ll believe in Love again—maybe even in the goodness of the Lord, as the religious ones would say LMAO

Basically, your Destined Person is like a mirror-Soul to yours and by this point in your spiritual evolution, you’ll have been able to tell what’s trauma bonding and what’s a real empathetic bond based on kindness and mutual compassion ^o<

adoration ON – Knight of Pentacles

Oh! Seriously, let me just say first that you need to watch or at least find clips of Long Vacation drama on YouTube. Your Destined Person’s aenergy feels quite similar to the main guy, Sena. Very kind and caring, responsible but shy while being quite a tough and stubborn male character LMAO Your Destined Person feels very much like this part of Sena’s personality. He has a lot of compassion for the people around him but especially you, after knowing what kind of bullshit you’ve had to brave through all alone T.Tv

In many ways, they respect you a lot for your strength and courage! They feel like they could learn a lot from you. As much as they admire you in this way, they also want to be the person who babies you—they want to be allowed to take care of you. They will seriously, and carefully, endeavour to make you feel safe, nurtured, cared for…they just…really, really want to keep you safe, feeling secure in the connection. They want you to trust them wholeheartedly and will show through cute little actions how dependable they are. They will plan cute dates with you, all for you to simply have a good time <3

This person is the type that fantasises about having a Life with you, and they’re serious enough, responsible enough to truly plan everything out. Something in you—something very cute in you—motivates them to become a bigger, stronger, more dependable version of themselves! Even if you identified as a demure character and your Destined Person were the more cheerful one, they’d still think of you as the Sunshine in their Life~☀️

MANIFESTING A HIGHER ROMANCE🔻🧡

what signs are they receiving about you? – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

how are they feeling as you’re manifesting them?? – Priestess of Fertility

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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[padmerry]

Ford & Stan: bravery and heroism

This is going to be about Stan’s vs. Ford’s types of heroism/courage. More specifically old Stans. I want to focus on the period at which they’ve already matured and already gone through and survived the worst of their lives. Them at their bravest, you could say.

I’m going to start with something a tad (or very) controversial. Among my Gravity Falls merch, there’s my sticker album. This is how they describe Ford (translation below) 👇

“Differently from his twin brother, [Ford] is valiant, intelligent, and has six fingers.”

“Valiant” is basically a fancier way to say “brave,” so... yeah.

The friends I’ve showed this to were indignant on Stan’s behalf. My album was being unfair to him! And yes, I agree. If Stan wasn’t brave, he wouldn’t have faced Bill alone. And regarding his intelligence—Alex has commented before that all four Pines are quite intelligent, just in different ways. Mabel, for example, has much more emotional intelligence than Ford. But I digress. That isn’t the subject of this post.

The thing is: I wasn’t very surprised about Ford being considered more stereotypically intelligent than Stan. Ford is, after all, a recognized genius, of a very obvious sort. His nicknames go from “IQ” to “Brainiac.” But Ford being considered braver than Stan... where does that come from?

Certainly, old Stan has never behaved in a cowardly way in situations where Ford in his place would never, right?

Or perhaps... perhaps he has.

Meanwhile, Ford was doing a Ford-core speech about the true meaning of being a hero.

Was this an exception to the rule? Or the norm?

Looking at Stan’s and Ford’s expressions as Probabilitor the Annoying appears, probably the norm.

Or Stan’s behavior in these self-explanatory moments from the comics:

“But,” you might say, “Stan had so many brave moments too! Against the zombies, against Bill!”

Yeah! He sure did!

But what did all of those badass moments have in common?

Ah, yes! His family—mostly Mabel and Dipper—being in any kind of danger and/or needing his help.

In fact, what I found hilarious about the very first moment, with Waddles, is that he started off as a complete coward. The same kind of man who ran away screaming from the goat. Attempting to sacrifice poor Waddles while he hid beneath the mushroom, survival instincts kicking in. But if it truly concerns Mabel’s happiness? And, let’s be honest, Waddles’, because he does have a soft spot for the pig? Then he finds it in himself to face a dinosaur!

Waddles knows how he works, hahah.

Stanford Pines, meanwhile, is a different breed of dog.

When in danger, his first impulse doesn’t seem to be fear, but pure, unbridled rage.

That’s pretty much his default mode. Ford has a classic, very obvious type of bravery that is easily identifiable as such. I could keep giving you guys examples, but if you’ve watched GF or read Journal 3 at all, I won’t need to. I think it’s self-explanatory given that this guy wanted Dipper to suppress his fear by focusing on his intellect:

To him, emotions are a weakness. They hinder his clear thinking. They need to be suppressed.

I also find it fascinating that he canonically endured insane levels of torture at Bill’s hands. He was emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused—Bill manipulated and deceived him, haunted his dreams, controlled his body like a puppet, threatened to commit suicide with it, hurt it all over to the point of giving it bruises, used it to ruin his reputation with the townsfolk, tattooed it without his consent, made his eye bleed, drove a nail through his hand, made him eat live spiders, pulled his bones out of their sockets, threatened to erase his memories, messed with the meaning of words in his brain, hunted him down, humiliated and mocked him publicly, turned him into a golden statue, electrocuted him—overall violated his consent and bodily/mental autonomy in horrific levels and subjected him to excruciating pain. And yet, every time he faces Bill, he faces him with impressive courage, always confrontational, always resolutely angry. He never wavers in that anger, not even for a second.

Ford’s biggest moment of fear as a lone hero, even if brief, was when Bill threatened him with, “I’ll make you talk! It’s only a matter of time,” before beginning the very torture pictured above.

That’s still him being courageous, of course. Courage is not the absence of fear, but doing the brave thing despite the fear, and we watch him resisting Bill’s torture resolutely after that.

Remember, though, how I said Ford conducts himself as if emotions are a weakness? Despite all of Ford’s bravery and resistance, Bill is right when he tells Ford, in that very scene, “Everyone has a weakness, tough guy!” Because what finally, finally breaks Ford is to see his family—the most important people in his life—in danger.

It’s the same old weakness Bill used against him in TBoB, calling Stan’s number to threaten suicide in Ford’s voice—the one thing that made Ford say, “But then [Bill] crossed a line” and “No. [Bill] wouldn’t,” in despair, even after all the terrible things Bill had done to him.

In this sense, Stan and Ford are perhaps opposites of each other. Look at how, even though Ford looks defeated here, Stan’s expression hardens in the second gif—with determination.

Look, too, at how Ford looks away, how his hands shake when he has to erase Stan’s memories, the sacrifice that Stan is making so stoically, due to his feelings for Stan:

(Read this meta, if you want, for more on how this must have been terrible for Ford.)

Why do I say Stan is making the sacrifice so stoically? Why does he acquire this look of determination as Ford is hopelessly planning to give himself up to Bill? Well, Alex seemed to imply in the commentary of Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls something I already believed to be true: that it was Stan who offered himself up/volunteered as the one to have his memories sacrificed to save all their asses, not Ford who suggested it to him. (“And even though it’s Stan who agrees to—‘I’ll be the one! Erase my mind! It’s fine. It’s worth it.’—like, it’s a sacrifice for both, like, Ford at this point is willing to get his brother back and has to lose him again.”) Stan shines when his family is in danger!

Meanwhile, when does Ford’s brand of bravery shine the most? I think it’s telling that, despite the jokes about Ford being a damsel in distress, you still have a man who survived thirty years completely alone in the multiverse while having a bounty of an entire galaxy on his head. In a way, I think Ford is way more in his element, so to speak, when he’s his own company, he’s the only one in danger, and he just has to take care of himself. He’s the lone hero, after all.

Even with Dipper, before whom he peacocks by showing his more cavalier side, sometimes to the point of recklessness (according to Alex and Rob Renzetti in the DD&D commentary, Ford would never act that irresponsibly around Stan), he seems to get hindered by his responsibility to care for his nephew, as it was shown in Dipper and Mabel vs. The Future with their fight against alien technology. The robots wouldn’t even have been activated, after all, if not for Dipper’s adrenaline levels.

Stan, on the other hand, is at his core a family man. He will make himself brave even in occasions he wouldn’t normally be, for his family! All for his family!

In the commentary of Not What He Seems, Alex and Matt Chapman point out the badass side of Stan:

Alex Hirsch: When I saw the storyboards, they managed to make Stan this awesome action hero while still keeping him Stan. [...] He steals a wallet, he smashes somebody against the wall, he sasses him but he also has this just great Inception moment, and it’s because we’re building to a big question about “who is Stan?,” I felt a moment of seeing him be kind of awesome further increases your “who is this guy?,” right? He keeps going back and forth between like “oh geez my back” and you’re like “all right that’s the Stan I know” and then like “whoa, he just did an awesome jailbreak! Is he some kind of super villain? Who is he really?”

Matt Chapman: And in Scary-oke early on too, you know, you get to see Stan—the street-fighter in Stan come out too.

Alex Hirsch: There’s more of Ford in Stan than I think Stan realizes. I think it only comes out in certain moments.

Stan’s badass moment in NWHS was, too, in service of his family, particularly one member: Ford. Stan needed to escape the agents, to ensure that the portal was fully activated and successfully brought Ford back. He needed to be there for Ford. The “Ford in Stan” that Alex mentions does come out when Ford himself was in (perceived) need of Stan.

If Ford’s bravery (or at least his suppression of fear) comes from focusing on his intellect, as he advised Dipper, Stan’s bravery comes from the opposite thing: focusing on his emotions, on his feelings for his family. Ford might be right about emotions being a weakness, but they are his weakness. They are Stan’s strength, in the same way their loved ones are Stan’s strength and Ford’s weakness.

At the end of the show, Ford learns that Stan has been so terribly brave and noble and saved the world for the sake of those feelings. That is part of the weight that Ford’s “You’re our hero, Stanley” carries.

Hopefully, by the end of it all, Ford has come to a place where, despite not regretting his previous mindset, he sees both emotions and people as a valid source of strength!