#handwrittenmendessoneyearwc

[goldendream-s]

got you

a/n; this lil’ blurb was written in honor of @handwrittenmendess’s one year anniversary and writing challenge!! love ya girly❤️.. also, thank you to @whispermendes and @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o for reading over this and giving me their input!

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Sometimes, you didn’t know what you did to deserve a best friend like Shawn. Other times, you wondered what your life would be like if he and his family hadn’t moved into the house next to yours eleven years ago.

Since the first summer you met him, it didn't take long for you and Shawn to become inseparable. The two of you quickly decided to dedicate Friday nights to hanging out, and tonight was no different when you opened your bedroom door to see him standing with a sheepish grin on his face, hands full. There, your best friend stood with an In-N-Out bag for you in one hand, a Chinese takeout box for himself in the other. 

Seeing Shawn like this would normally result in you welcoming him with open arms, but your lack of energy only allowed you to send him a measly smile. It didn’t take long for Shawn to rush through the door at the sight of you. Setting down the food on your desk, he immediately rushed back to where you stood, frozen in your spot.

“That asshole,” he muttered before engulfing your figure in a hug. Shawn didn’t dare to flood your mind with questions, he already knew this scene all too well. He knew as soon as he saw your face that had become pale from dehydration and your eyes that had grown swollen from the endless crying.

“I... I don't know what I did wrong,” you cried into Shawn’s hoodie-clad body that felt like velvet along your agitated skin. Taking in the scent of his cologne, you snuggled further into his chest.

You craved loved, desired to be loved. Despite your efforts, it felt like the purest of intentions always led you to heartbreak.

“Hun, he didn't deserve you. You did nothing wrong,” Shawn cooed. His words flowed out of his mouth like water, but he would never let you know that they felt like daggers against his throat.  

His hand moved towards your forehead, brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen out of your ponytail.

“Then why does it feel like I’m impossible to love?” you meekly questioned, your own words pulling on the strings of your heart.

A pang in Shawn’s own heart reverberated through his body. He didn’t know how to reply. Shawn wasn’t sure how to tell his best friend that she was wrong, that someone who loved her was standing right before her eyes. He was tempted to let you know how he felt, but Shawn wasn’t sure if a thirty-second confession was worth risking an 11 year friendship.

So instead, he held you in his warm embrace, letting you know that everything would be alright. You needed your best friend in this moment, and Shawn wouldn’t dream of leaving you to handle this breakup alone.

Moving the two of towards your bed, Shawn knew your body was aching for rest. Adjusting your pillows and pulling back the covers, he tucked you in before he removed his hoodie and moved over to the vacant side of your bed.

His arm snaked around your waist, pulling you closer towards his chest. Out of instinct, his hand moved to your hip as he began to rub soft, rhythmic circles along your skin.

“I’ve got you now,” your best friend spoke as he kissed your hair, nuzzling his nose into your neck. He was supposed to be the one comforting you, yet he somehow managed to become lost in your presence instead.

Listening to your steadying breaths, Shawn wondered if you can feel his heart thumping through his chest, though he knew you were already drifting off into slumber.

“Shawn?” your soft voice snapped him out of his trance.

“Mhm?”

“I don’t tell you this enough, but I love you. I don't know how I met a friend as amazing as you,” you thanked him, knowing no one enjoyed spending their Friday nights like this.

He takes a deep inhale at your words, pulling you closer.

“I love you too,” he whispers back, though he knows those three words and eight letters he just uttered meant way more to him than you’d ever know.

[wondershawns]

Pretend

@handwrittenmendess

“Shawn, it’s just for a few weeks before you drop the new song.” Andrew tries to reason with him.

“I don’t care, I’m not pulling shit like this with my friend!” Shawn replies, his voice higher pitched because he’s angry and just finished his concert.

“You don’t have much of a choice, so you need to make this work. You’ll be busy most of the time, so you won’t even have to see her too much, it’s all about walking outside hand in hand with her and letting people take pictures.”

“I’m not doing this.” He stands his ground, running his hand over his sweaty hair and wiping it on his jeans. “I need a shower, we’ll talk again later, this is not happening.”

Andrew doesn’t try to hold him back, he knows it’s not fun for him, but until his contract ends in a couple months he’s going to have to deal with it. He thought it would be easier if he let Shawn talk to his friend, if he didn’t try to impose a girl he didn’t know, but he starts to think it might’ve been a better idea.

He knows Shawn will be mad at him, but it’s better if he’s the one to announce it to him. The kid is pretty grounded, and he has his friends that he likes to keep close to him, he’s not going to like a new member of the management team dictating one of these stunts to him.

Shawn gets back to his hotel without the excitement he usually feels. The crowd was incredible, but the conversation he had with Andrew afterwards ruined his night. Dealing with fans, interviews and rumors is already hard enough, he doesn’t need to create more to get attention for his new single.

He knows she would agree, she’s too nice to let him do that with someone he wouldn’t be comfortable with, but Shawn doesn’t even want to ask. He wants something real with her, whatever she wants, but he wants it real. The smart choice would be to ask her out, and they wouldn’t have to pretend, but the reasons pushing him to do that would be wrong. If she says no he’d have to find someone else, and he doesn’t know what the worst thing would be.

The wheels turn in his head for the rest of the night as he tries to figure out what he should do. The shower doesn’t seem to relax him much, and he knows that singing at the top of his lungs so late would wake half of the hotel up. Instead he picks up his guitar, gently strumming and picking random patterns that calm him down.

“Hello?” She answers the phone on the second ring, and he feels his heart beating against his chest while he tries to remember the words he rehearsed before clicking the call button.

“Hey, it’s Shawn.” He decides to wing it, none of what he thought about seems right to tell her. He’s late for the photoshoot, but if he doesn’t call her now he never will.

“Hey, how are you doing?” She sounds cheerful, and it makes him want to see her smile. Facetime would have been nice to be able to see her, he’d be able to stare without it being weird, but it would also make him more nervous.

“I’m great, what about you?” He responds politely, eager to get rid of the awkward beginning of the conversation. It’s not exactly awkward, but he needs to get to the point before he hangs up without asking.

“Same here, why are you calling?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“No, I just finished my exams, I’m free for a month so I’m looking for a small job like babysitting or something.”

“I might have something to help you, and I hate to call you for that but I could use your help, can we talk? Maybe tomorrow?”

“Sure, where do you want to meet?”

“Starbucks? Around ten?”

“Works for me, I’ll see you then.”

A few hours later both of them are sitting at a table hidden away in a corner, steaming cup in hand as they catch up on the last couple of weeks. The subject eventually turns to Shawn, and he explains his contract as best as he can while trying to make it sound okay. He knows there’s nothing okay about the fact that his management team wants him to fake being in a relationship, but he needs her to agree. He doesn’t just want it because he knows that he won’t be able to do this with anyone else.

“So they want me to find a girl to hang out with outside after shows and shit.” He finishes, fidgeting nervously with his cup.

“And?” She encourages him to continue because she’s not sure why he called her.

“And I was hoping you’d want to travel for a bit with me, because I’d hate to be stuck with some random model.” He bites the inside of his lip as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

“You want me to pretend to be in a relationship with you?” She straightens his words, and he winces at how shitty it sounds when it’s not a crazy thought in his head.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s shitty to ask you that, and you really don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“What would it imply exactly? I mean, you’re one of my best friends, I don’t mind helping you out, but I’m going to need some details.” She doesn’t want to see him with some model either, it’s not news that they have feelings for each other, and they both know it. If he could be home more they’d be together already, but he’ll never make a move if he knows he’s going to leave her alone for months. She’s not sure if he still feels like that, or if she even does herself, but she knows she’s not over him.

“Wait, really?” He’s not sure he should smile yet, and he almost can’t believe she would do this, but he quickly catches himself to give her the details.

“Yes, depending on what you’re going to tell me, so spill.” She urges him because it all sounds too good to be true.

“Alright, well everything will be taken care of for you to follow me on tour for around a month, you’d have to hang out with me,” He smiles and she fake gasps. “Yes, I know, horrible. It’s mostly just letting paps take pictures of us holding hands, it would be fully controlled so we can make sure no one sees your face.”

“So, you mean I get a month of holidays around Europe with you? And I need to hold your hand when we’re outside?” She puts her drink down after a sip and raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, pretty much, I’ll be busy a lot but it’s far from boring. Also, you’ll be paid for it all.”

“Seriously? I was already going to say yes, no need to bribe me.” She smiles when she sees the grin spread on his face.

“College life is expensive, you’re always looking for a job that pays better,” He shrugs, it’s his way of helping her without making it look like that, but he knows that she’s running around all day studying and working to pay for it all.

“That’s not even a job, it’s paid holidays, count me in.”

“Well that was a crazy show,” They get back to the hotel, Shawn is still high on adrenaline, and Nina is full of energy after watching the concert from backstage. It’s been a few weeks already, and they’ve grown as close as they used to be a few month ago before he left.

“It was amazing, I mean, the crowd during Mercy? That was insane!”

“It was really cool, I thought the other shows were amazing, but that was a whole new level.” She loves seeing him this happy, he’s tired but he smiles all the time.

“I’m going to shower real quick, I’m all sweaty, be back in a minute.” He starts unbuttoning his shirt before getting in the bathroom, and she lets her eyes take in the shape of his body through the sticky shirt.

Being stuck in one room isn’t really a problem for either of them, it means less space in the bed but it also means having an excuse to sleep next each other.

Shawn comes out of the bathroom with a towel hanging low on his hips, and Nina looks up from her phone while trying to keep her mouth closed. It’s not the first time she sees him shirtless, but watching him walk out almost naked after a steamy shower is much hotter.

“You can get in the bed, I’ll take the couch.” He offers because he’s not sure she’ll be okay with sleeping next to him.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you need to sleep in a bed.” She refuses immediately, there’s no way he’s doing all of this and not even sleeping somewhere comfortable.

“Fine, but you’re sleeping there too. No way you’re sleeping on the couch, and the bed is big enough.”

“Deal, I’ll go brush my teeth,” She diverts her eyes from his damp curls and rosy cheeks, but the image of his defined and very naked abs is still fresh in her mind. “Fuck my life,” She mutters when she realizes how screwed she is.

She splashes some water on her face before leaving the room to make sure her mind is clear and she won’t say something stupid.

“Do you mind if I sleep shirtless?” Shawn asks, walking around the room in a pair of shorts. His v-line is visible, and it takes everything in Nina not to stare.

“No, go ahead, that’s fine,” She tries not to stammer on the words. No of course not, I’m just going to spend the night hot and bothered because I’m sleeping next to the man I want to be with.

“Are you cold?” He frowns when she snuggles into the covers.

“I’m fine,” She’s wearing shorts and an oversized shirt, it’s not the hottest outfit she owns but she wasn’t expecting to be sleeping next to Shawn.

“Take more of the blanket,” He gets it to her side, but she pushes it back to him.

“I’m fine!” She insists. “Stop worrying, I’m comfortable.”

“Are you?” He grins, pulling the pillow out from under her head.

“Hey!” She sits up, reaching for it. “Give it back!”

“Nope,” He holds it out of her reach.

She raises an eyebrow, and he waits for her next move.

“You asked for it,” She reminds him before tickling his side.

He erupts in laughter, wriggling away from her and curling on himself while she laughs and keeps on tickling him. Hearing him laugh and getting an excuse to touch him is a win-win situation, but he quickly reverses it by pinning her down and tickling her. She gasps for air in between her squeals, but as much as she tries to wriggle away from him he has her solidly pinned into the mattress.

“Stop!” She laughs, his body hovering over hers making it hard to think. “Shawn!”

“Okay, okay,” He chuckles, sliding down next to her, but she suddenly misses the proximity.

In a moment of courage she slides her body on top of his, and he watches her with surprised eyes. His hand immediately find her thighs, securing her legs on each side of his body. The playful atmosphere disappears, and they look at each other for a few seconds before she starts leaning down.

“Shit, is this really a good idea?” His eyes rake over her body, completely at her mercy.

“I’m not sure I care.” She answers truthfully, and his “Me neither” gets lost in their lips colliding.

[everimaginethat]

Dance with me?

Hey guys,

In celebration of @handwrittenmendess one year anniversary I joined her writing challenge. I hope you guys like it and it isn't that cringy. Please remember that english isn't my first language.                          Let me know what you think :)

Fandom: New Hope Club

Pairing: Blake Richardson x reader

Prompt: „Dance with me?“

Words: 2036

Warnings: none except for a hella lot of fluff

Y/N – your name

Y/N/N – your nickname

y/e/c – your eye colour

your thoughts

______________________________________________

When your best friend Blake told you that one on his cousins was going to get married and he wanted you to go with him you were quite shocked to say the least. Sure you were excited but you have never been on a wedding before and even that with your best friend since eight grade. You found it nice that he had asked you. But the thing is, you had a huge crush on him for ages and didn't want him to know because you thought it would ruin your friendship. What if he found out and wouldn't feel the same? It all would have been ruined. You only had to look at him with his beautiful dark hair and these mysterious brown eyes of his and of course that smile that would melt your heart and you would think: WOW! What a gorgeous young man. Don't let's begin with his character but boy, he had a deep soul.

The aspect of you being on a wedding party with him circulated inside your head. You laying in his protectiv arms and slowly swaying to the music. A band quitely playing in the background. You wearing a beautiful long dress that fit your figure perfectly. But than it came to your mind.                Was a wedding really like you imagined it to be? What do you have to wear on a wedding? What about a present? What if his relatives wouldn't like you?           All these thoughts ran through your head as you told him your answer.          „Sure, I'd love to“                              Your mouth was faster than your brain. „Thank you, Y/N/N. I owe you one“ Blake smiled and kissed you on your cheek before he went after his bandmates George and Reece.

Now you're standing in your room trying to move the zipper up your burgundy knee lenght bodycon dress but you couldn't reach it fully.                             „Mom?“ you called and tried for the zipper on your back again but you didn't get an answer. Two days ago you were on a shopping spree with your mother. You tried many different dresses before you found the perfect one for you. Fitting for the dress you had brought high heels in the same colour but due to you only wearing high heels on rare ocassions you couldn't walk on them properly. You only hoped you wouldn't look like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings when walking.              Moments later you looked up as you felt a pair of hands on your back and smiled, a red shadow forming on your soft cheeks. You had a body lenght mirror in your room so you could see who was standing behind you. Blake. And he looked damn fine. He was wearing a black suit with a burgundy tie. His dark hair was nicely slicked back but unruly at the same time.                                        He's so handsome. Damn.                      Your thoughts were swirling around in your head. You couldn't focus on anything other than the boy behind you. You tried calming down, deep breaths escaping your lips. Nervously you looked down again.               His thoughts on the other hand circled only around you. His dark eyes traveled down your exposed back. With his hands still on the zipper he chewed on his bottom lip. Slowly his slender fingers moved the zipper close. The rings on his hands lightly touched your hot skin, cooling it down a bit. A nearly inaudible sigh could be heard behind you and you looked up again. Your y/e/c orbs meeting his brown ones with an intense stare. You turned around in a quick swirl, looking directly at his broad chest. Even with high heels you were a head smaller than him.                   „What are you doing here?“ you whispered, looking up at the boy.               „What? Aren't you excited to see me?“ he laughed, shaking his head a little. „Sure, I'm excited“ you gulped, giggling nervously.                                         „Yeah, we're finished getting ready and I thought you might need help or something. Turns out I was right“ Blake explained while he scratched the back of his head nervously. Your cheeks turned a darker shade of pink, if that even was possible and your skin tingled at the places his fingers met your back only minutes ago. You cleared your throat and stepped closer to him. With shaky hands you adjusted his tie and looked up into his eyes. The eighteen year old boy infront of you was watching your every move.                 „Maybe-Maybe we should go downstairs. I'm ready now“ you spoke after some time. Blake only nodded and led you down the stairs. Your mother was already waiting in the kitchen with her camera in her hands.                 You sighed.                                             „Mom, please. We don't have time for this“

„Oh..... come on, baby. Just one picture. You guys look fantastic“ she grinned. With that she shooed you out of the house and commanded for the both of you to pose infront on the walnut tree in your front yard. A couple photos later you sat in the car of Blake's family that turned out was waiting for you the whole time.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. It was outside in a big garden, everything was made with loving detail. The ceremony didn't last to long, neither was it to short. The bride looked stunning in her ivory-coloured dress. You've never seen such a beautiful young woman before and you hoped you would look as gorgeous as she did on your wedding day.„They look so lovely“ you whispered to Blake.„Yeah...They really do“ he smiled, glancing beside him in your direction. You happily clapped your hands as the newly wedded couple kissed and made their way to the pavilions.

„Congrats Evan and Ella“ Blake hugged his cousin and the bride before he introduced you to them.                               „This is Y/N“ You too, hugged them.„Congratulations. You look stunning. I love your dress, Ella“ You smiled and gestured to the wedding dress.                 „Thank you, love. Your dress is beautiful too“ Ella smiled.                              „Thanks ...“ you began and you guys chatted away for a bit until it was time for the wedding speeches and Blake and you made your way to your places. You sat at a round table with his parents and sister, as well as his grandparents and his great aunt and uncle.

„Thank you all for coming and for all the congratulations. We hope you have fun. I don't want to drag this wider and wider because I know you are hungry, I for myself am starving. So the buffet is opened. Eat as much as you can“ laughed Evan, Blake's cousin.   „I'm getting food. Do you want something?“ Blake leaned over and looked at you with a questioning look. You nodded.        „Yes, could you maybe bring me something from that chicken? It looked delicious“

„Sure. I'm back in a minute“ he smiled, squeezed your hand lightly and got up from the table. „Thank you“ you called after him. Awkwardly you sat at the table, alone with a woman you didn't know. All the others have left to get something to eat. Your eyes wandered around the big pavilion. Everyone was talking and laughing. Quite music blasting through the speakers. The buffet was overrun with fancy looking people.        You cleared your throat and took a sip of your water.                                       „So, you're Blakey's girlfriend?“ his great aunt asked after some time. You nearly choked on your water. I wish I was. „No-No, we are best friends“ you answered with a sad tone in your voice that you tried to cover but you were sure she heard it.      „Too bad. You would make a cute couple“ she sighed and looked at you with a sympathic smile.                                                                      „Thank-Thank you“ you blushed.        „Oh, love. You don't need to feel embarrassed. He really likes you, you know. Just look how his eyes are always lighting up when he sees you. And every time you talk he's smilin'. It's the same with you by the way“             „Really“ sceptical you looked at her.          That couldn't be true. How was it that obvious and you hadn't noticed by now?     She nodded, her brown curly hair bouncing with every move. Before you could say something Blake was back at the table with two plates full of food.                     „One's for the lady, one for me“ he grinned and put your plate infront of you before he sat down. „Enjoy your meal“ he smiled.         „Thank you, Blake. Enjoy your meal too“ you smiled back and began to eat.

The evening went on in a rush. Funny wedding games were played. The married couple opened the dance floor with a traditional wedding dance and the bride had her daddy-daughter dance. The atmosphere was filled with laugher and good mood. After a while it wasn't that awkward anymore for you to talk to the strangers and before you knew it it was already dark outside. Some guests were already gone and some were on the move. The children that had attended the wedding were going to get sleepy, except one little girl in a green dress and blonde hair. She was standing on the shoes of your best friend and danced with him to the music of Ed Sheeran's „Barcelona“. You sat at one of the tables with a perfect view over the dance floor.                                                                       You giggled as you watched him doing silly dance moves to trie to make the little girl laugh. In one swift movemet you fished your mobile phone out of your purse. You opened your camera and filmed the scene with a grin plastered on your face. Sometime in the middle of the song the little girl got tired of dancing and Blake led her to her parents. He hugged the girl goodbye and made his way towards you. A slight smile on his lips. Quickly you shoved your phone back into your purse and looked at him smiling.       „You were cute out there“ you grinned at Blake as he sat down beside you.  „Well, thanks. I do my best“ he laughed.    The song ended and a slower one began to sound through the speakers. It was a cover of „A Million Dreams“ from The Greatest Showman and was sung by the group Anthem Lights. (If you want you can listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12EMOE3Py9o)                                                      Blake jumped out of his seat.           „Dance with me?“ Blake asked and held his hand out. You nodded and took it. His hands wandered to your hips and yours slung around his neck. You lightly swayed to the music. „Thank you for dragging me with you“ you smiled and layed your head against his chest. Blake didn't answer but it was alright with you. You enjoyed it. Dancing with your long-time crush and appreciating the feeling of his hands around you. You slowly danced to the music, blending everything out around you. Shutting out all the talking people. It was only the both of you at that moment.               Blake's hands gripped tighter around your hips. „Y/N?“ Blake quietly asked. You looked up at him.                                         „Thank you for being here with me“          You nodded and played a little with the string of his necklace at the back of his neck.  „Have I told you that you look drop-dead gorgeous“                                          „You look very handsome yourself“ you smiled.                                              Before you could register what was happening his soft lips were on yours. Out of shock you couldn't respond to the kiss in time. He broke it off and moved slightly away from you.                                     „I'm-I'm sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have done that“ he stuttered. You smiled, grabbed him by his tie and pulled him down towards you.    „Don't be sorry. I enjoyed it“ with that your lips met again.

[pearsonstickseason]

Handwrittenmendess’ Writing Challenge

So, in honor of my one year anniversary on tumblr I’m gonna be doing a writing challenge! The rules are below if you want to participate!

WHO YOU CAN WRITE FOR:

Shawn Mendes

New Hope Club

Chris Evans (or Steve Rogers)

Sebastian Stan (or Bucky Barnes)

Tom Holland (or Peter Parker)

WHAT YOU CAN WRITE:

smut is allowed

fluff is allowed

angst is allowed

it can be up to two parts as long as you specify in a lil note at the top because I want to be able to read everything that is written and if you guys write to many parts it’ll be a lil hard

if you write more than one part please try to have the second part up by the deadline as well

GENERAL RULES:

please make sure your writing is a reasonable length

Up to 2 people can use a prompt, after two people have asked to use it, I would put a strikethrough on it

If a prompt has a strikethrough, don’t ask to use it because it has been taken

tag me in your writing and use the #handwrittenmendessoneyearWC

Deadline is July 31st

Send me an ask with the prompt you want and who you will be writing for!

BELOW ARE THE PROMPTS:

1. “You want me to pretend to be in a relationship with you?” (1/2) @shawnmendesstorycollection w/Shawn Mendes

2. “I need you to pretend to be engaged to me.” (1/2) @rainbow-marvel w/tom holland

3. “I fell in love with you.” (0/2)

4. “Let’s get a dog/cat.” (0/2)

5. “I don’t want you around me right now.” (0/2)

6. “Why are you always horny? I have things I have to do too.” (1/2) @shawnsassymendes w/ shawn mendes

7. “I am not going to throw everything away for someone I’m not even sure loves me!” (0/2)

8. “Could you not stand so close to me?” (0/2)

9. “You don’t deserve this.” (1/2) @justanothershawngirl w/ shawn mendes

10. “But it’s storming.” (0/2)

11. “Please just go to bed.” (0/2)

12. “That doesn’t work on me.” (0/2)

13. “I’m not your babysitter, do it yourself.” (0/2)

14. “You are impossible to love.” (0/2)

15. “Dance with me?” (1/2) @everimaginethat w/blake richardson

16. “That’s the stupidest idea I have ever heard.” (0/2)

17. “Please put your penis away.” (0/2)

18. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but, you were right.” (1/2) @shawnsassymendes w/shawn mendes

19. “That’s a lie and you know it.” (1/2) @fawn-mendes w/shawn mendes

20. “I don’t want to live without you.” (0/2)

21. “Just for one night.” (0/2)

22. “I’m not in the mood for a fight.” (0/2)

23. “Sorry can’t fix this.” (0/2)

24. “You’re my best friend.” (0/2)

25. “Look what you’ve done.” (0/2)

26. “Are you gonna help me clean up?” (0/2)

27. “Are you still mad at me?” (0/2)

28. “Baby, I’m sorry.” (0/2)

29. “Not now. Not ever.” (0/2)

30. “Can I go with you?” (0/2)

31. “I’ve got you now.” (1/2) @sowhatshawn w/Shawn Mendes

32. “What happened to us.” (0/2)

33. “You have really soft skin.” (0/2)

34. “Sorry I got lost in your eyes.” (1/2) @shawnsassymendes w/ shawn mendes

35. “I’m tired of this.” (0/2)

36. “This is my future too!” (1/2) @everimaginethat w/sebastian stan

37. “I love you. I’m in love with you.” (0/2)

38. “I can’t be just friends.” (0/2)

39. “I’m all yours.” (0/2)

40. “I can’t let you go. Not again.” (0/2)

41. “I’m leaving.” (0/2)

42. “You know nothing about me. And care even less.” (0/2)

43. “That pain will never go away.” (0/2)

44. “What the hell was that!?” (0/2)

45. “What is your problem?” (0/2)

46. “Get away from me.” (0/2)

47. “Can you hold me?” (0/2)

48. “I’m tired of running.” (0/2)

49. “Uh, no. I don’t do that.” (0/2)

50. “Will you sing to me, baby? I love how your voice sounds.” (1/2) @shawnsassymendes w/shawn mendes

Have fun and you can message me if you have any questions!

[justanothersecretfangirl]

Honest

A/N: This is my submission for @handwrittenmendess‘ Writing Challenge in honor of her 1 year-a-versary. A little fluff, a little angst. My prompt is bolded. Definitely based on Honest by Shawn. Hope you enjoy! Don’t judge the writing. It wasn’t proofread hahaha PS 3 fics posted in one day. I’m on a roll.

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Warnings: none? A little fluff, a little angst. 

Word Count: 1935

“Shawn!” you half laugh, half yell as your boyfriend tickled your sides. He chuckles at your screech, but stops tickling you, instead running his hands up and down your sides inside your shirt. This causes another feeling altogether, and you grab his hands. You look at him pointedly. He just smiles and wraps his arms around your small frame. You immediately nuzzle your face in his shoulder and close your eyes.

After a few minutes, he gives your torso a tight squeeze and pulls away from you. You whimper at the lack of contact, but he just chuckles.

“We have to go get ready to go, Y/N. Tiffany is going to be here in about an hour to drop off our outfits.” You glance at him, and smile. He is wearing a plain white t-shirt, and he’s still in his boxers. You had a lazy morning around his condo, and you loved it when you got to just hang out with Shawn.

“You’re probably right. You need to put on pants,” you tell him with a big smile. He laughs.

“You’re one to talk!” It is your turn to laugh, as you are wearing one of Shawn’s shirts as a nightgown. He gives you one more quick squeeze, then lifts himself up off the couch. You immediately curl in a ball on the warm part of the couch where he was sitting. He laughs again.

“Come on, Y/N. You’re the one that didn’t want me to get someone to do your hair and makeup. You need to get up!” He punctuates the end of his sentence by tickling your sides. You screech again, but you’re up and off the couch, twisting out of his grasp. You take off toward your shared bathroom, Shawn chasing after you. You come to a halt in front of the mirror in your large bathroom, plugging in your curling iron. Shawn walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“What did I do to deserve you?” he whispered into your hair. You giggle, but wiggle out of his grasp. You proceeded to put loose curls in your hair, and light makeup on your face, while Shawn showered and gets himself ready. You were going to the iHeart Music Awards tonight, and you would be lying if you said you were excited. You were actually very anxious about it. You start picking at the skin around your nails nervously, a tick you developed that helps ease some of the anxiety you feel. It was no secret you had clinical anxiety. Shawn knows you take medication to help control it, but you know he doesn’t completely understand how debilitating it can be.

After Tiffany drops by and helps you get dressed, you stand in front of the full length mirror in your room, tilting your head from one side to the other. You are startled when Shawn walks up behind you, his floral suit looking amazing on his large frame. Your dress is pale grey with similar floral patterns overlaid, though they are much more subtle than Shawn’s. You smile at him in the mirror, hoping you hide your nervousness.

“Are you about ready? The car’s out front.” You nod, keeping his eye contact in the mirror. “You look beautiful,” he says quietly into your hair. He pulls you into him and you close your eyes, cherishing the feeling of being so close to him. You let out a sigh as Shawn lets go. You walk over to the bed to grab your clutch, then turn back to him. He holds out his elbow, and you grasp onto it tightly.

“It’ll be okay, Y/N,” he says, but every step you take makes the pit in your stomach get bigger and bigger. It gets harder to breathe around it and you aren’t sure you’re going to be able to breathe by the time you get to the car. Your legs are rapidly turning to jello, and you are grateful to make it to the car. Shawn opens the door for you, and you slide into the seat. You feel a tear roll down your face as Shawn closes the door. You quickly try to wipe it away, but before he can get around the car to his door, tears are silently sliding down your face. You are trying to hide your face from Shawn, but he quickly knows that something is wrong.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he says, sliding closer to you, but you keep looking out the window, trying to control your breathing. “Y/N, please. Look at me.” He puts his hand on your arm and turns you to face him. His eyes slide over your face. “What’s the matter, love?” You just shake your head, trying to wipe the tears off your face. His hand rests gently on top of yours and you finally meet his eyes. “What’s the matter, Y/N? Please tell me.”

“I can’t do this, Shawn,” was all you were able to choke out. Shawn nodded, and pulled you into a hug.

“It’s okay, Y/N. It’s really okay. I can go by myself. You can just go back to the condo.” You pushed away from him, knowing your makeup would get all over his fancy suit. You nodded, and he kissed your hair.

Too soon, your car pulled up to the venue, and Shawn looked down at you. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Shawn,” you mumble, then squeeze his hand. He takes a deep breath, and straightens his jacket. You giggle lightly. “You look great. Don’t worry about that.” He smiles at you, then opens his door, glancing back at you quickly. You smile at him softly, then he gets out and closes the door. You watch as cameras flash all around him, and let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The driver drives you back to Shawn’s apartment and you slowly walk up the stairs to his door. You pull your key from your clutch and open the door to the empty apartment. You quickly turn on every light in the entire apartment before pulling yourself out of your dress and into one of Shawn’s shirts and a pair of leggings. You grab the throw blanket off the end of your bed and wrap it around your shoulders before plopping down on the couch and turning on the TV to the broadcast of the awards. You smile as you watched Shawn walk up the red carpet toward the interviewer.

“Shawn! How are you buddy?” the interviewer says, patting Shawn on the back.

“I’m doing great, man! It’s so great being here,” Shawn says with enthusiasm. The smile on your face only widens.

“It’s always great seeing you. Where’s your lady tonight? You two have been inseparable lately,” the interviewer probes.

“She wasn’t feeling well tonight, so she stayed home. I hate doing these things without her, but her health is more important.” As the words left Shawn’s mouth, you felt a stab in your chest. You had always known he needed someone to rely on in these situations, but hearing him say it made it all real. Tears started running down your face again, and you swipe at them furiously. You quickly stand up, knocking into the coffee table on the way up. You start pacing around the apartment, crying. Then, you make a decision. You grab a piece of paper from the counter and write out a letter.

Dear Shawn,

There’s not an easy way to say this, but I have to be honest with you. I can’t give you what you need. You need someone who can stand by you in everything you do, and I just can’t. I don’t know how you do it all, Shawn. You are sincerely my hero.

I know this is going to hurt you, and I hate myself for not being strong enough. You don’t deserve this, but I just can’t handle this anymore. Everything I said was honest and sincere. You were different and when we kissed I felt like that kid in love, the one that everyone envied. And I know that I'll probably regret doing this. I might wish I never said this at all.

I’ll be staying with my parents for a little while, until I figure all this out.

Know that I love you so much, Shawn. You just deserve more than I can promise, and I’m just trying to be honest with you.

Y/N

You finish your letter and sit at the counter, crying into your arms for a few minutes. Soon, you have no tears left to cry, so you wander into the room you share with Shawn and pack a few essentials. You pull the suitcase behind you as you walk back out into the living room. You switch off the TV, and walk over to the counter. You softly place your key on top of the folded letter. You walk to the door and turn off all the lights behind you.

SHAWN’S POV

Shawn was completely exhausted by the time the awards were over. He slowly climbed the stairs to his apartment, and opened the door slowly. He didn’t even think about the fact that the apartment was completely dark until he turned on the light in your bedroom. He noticed right away that the bed was still made, and you were not in it.

“Y/N?” he called, but heard only silence. He felt his pulse start speeding up, assuming the worst. He checked in the bathroom, but found nothing. He ran through the condo, checking each room, until he made it to the kitchen and skidded to a stop when he saw your letter and the key. Tears started running down his face immediately. He felt his knees buckle and he hit the floor. He grabbed the letter off the bar, reading through it quickly.

“No…” he trailed off, tears still running down his face. Without thinking, he grabbed his car keys and ran out of the condo. He drove as quickly as he could to your parents house across town, and, not even realizing it was almost 2 in the morning, ran up the sidewalk and pounded on the door. He waited a few minutes before he heard footsteps on the other side, the light above his head turning on. You opened the door slowly, eyes swollen from crying.

“Shawn, what are you…?” you asked sleepily.

“Y/N,” he started, not sure what to say, just knowing that he needed you. “I need you. I can’t do this by myself.” Shawn had tears running down his face, not even trying to wipe them away.

“Shawn, I can’t even do what you need me to. I can’t handle going to your award shows, or out when you see fans. I can’t handle it. I am not even helping you now.”

“You do help me though! The only thing that got me through that awards show was you! You didn’t have to be there. You never have to go with me if you don’t want to. But just knowing that you’ll be there when I get home…. That’s all I need.” Shawn reached out to grab your hands, and you let him. He pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in a big hug.

“I’ll quit. I’ll do anything you need me to, Y/N.”

“I can’t let you do that, Shawn. This is your life. This is what you love.”

“You’re what I love, Y/N. It’s you. It was always you.”

Forever tags: @embracehappy @atlas-of-a-human-soul