#has fallen for HER... such a lowly woman with awful connections. NOT EXCUSING IT... just observing....

[bennetsbonnet]

I think many people take the whole 'Darcy had not looked at Elizabeth properly before insulting her' as canon because it helps to explain what happens later. After all, Darcy finding Elizabeth too ordinary for a dance, and then later doing a complete 180 in a short space of time is absolutely non beliavable, imo

I suppose this is a response to this post about the 'tolerable' comment and why people seek to defend it. Not sure if you're agreeing that Darcy had not really looked at Elizabeth before insulting her (which is debatable, it could be argued as a snap judgment though even that would not excuse him) but regardless, Darcy not immediately being attracted to Elizabeth and subsequently changing his mind is evident in canon.

In isolation, you could say that Darcy's insult at the Meryton assembly was more of a snide remark about not wishing to elevate Elizabeth in the social pecking order rather than a lack of attraction on Darcy's part. However, the text tells us otherwise.

So, while I do think how he can make such a comment and still end up 'bewitched' by her is partly explained by the fact that Darcy hadn't actually looked at Elizabeth properly, and his overarching emotion at that moment was a refusal to have his pride hurt by being seen to be dancing with a plain country lady, who simple country gentlemen (far less illustrious personages than Darcy!) have already snubbed... combined with a snobbish belief that if he did dance with Elizabeth, it would be the most consequential thing that had ever happened to her and she would always be known in Meryton as the lady who danced with Mr Darcy (and we know he could not have been more wrong about Elizabeth, which makes it all the more satisfying)... there is more to it than that.

Darcy admits that he wasn't initially attracted to Elizabeth himself. I tend to believe this is credible, as though Mr Darcy does not always state exactly how he feels, it's reported by another and he does not refute it.

The evidence for this lack of initial attraction is not solely due to his comment at the Meryton assembly. It's found much later in Chapter 45, though evidently reporting on events shortly after the Meryton assembly, when Caroline says:

'... I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty; and I particularly recollect your saying one night, after they had been dining at Netherfield, "She a beauty!—I should as soon call her mother a wit." But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.' 'Yes,' replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer, 'but that was only when I first saw her, for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.'

So we have an account from Caroline of Darcy making a joke about Elizabeth's looks and Mr Bennet's lack of decorum, and Darcy seemingly admitting that he indeed did not think much of Elizabeth at first.

Now, I would say that could be excused away as a joke at Mrs Bennet's expense if it had occurred perhaps immediately after the Meryton assembly... but this is clearly after at least a second meeting, which we know happens, as Elizabeth tells Charlotte during the party at Lucas Lodge in Chapter 6 that Jane and Bingley have met 'tolerably often,' that Jane 'saw him one morning at his own house, and has since dined with him in company four times, and expands that they have spent 'four evenings' together which 'have enabled them to ascertain that they both like Vingt-un better than Commerce.' We can assume that Elizabeth and Darcy would also have been present on these evenings.

The joke also is unlikely to have occured Elizabeth stayed at Netherfield and dined with them during Jane's illness, as Darcy had already admitted that appreciated Elizabeth's 'pair of fine eyes' and called her pretty to Caroline, and he did seem to be making more effort with her then (by his abysmal standards).

So, I think it's pretty clear that Darcy indeed didn't think much of Elizabeth initially in regard to her looks. Which I suppose is no great shock, given that Darcy will have been exposed to the crème de la crème in London. But it further demonstrates how dazzling Elizabeth's personality was that she stood out to him. Also, it's no reflection whatsoever on Elizabeth that she didn't stand out at first, because a) Darcy is a snob who finds a reason to dislike almost everyone and b) Darcy would have been used to seeing far wealthier women dressed in the latest fashion trends, with access to better materials than Elizabeth would have been able to obtain from Meryton. So even though he doesn't seem particularly fond of women that try too hard (in his mind) he's still a snob who has a certain notion of how ladies should dress.

The exchange I cited where Darcy finally stands up to Caroline regarding Elizabeth illustrates not just his changing attraction towards Elizabeth, but also it demonstrates his growth as a person as he would've joined in with Caroline's remarks months ago but now he is disgusted by her behaviour. It's one of the many ways, in my opinion, that Jane Austen did an exceptional job of selling his redemption. She did not making him so irredeemable that it is impossible to root for him and think him unworthy of Elizabeth. Both of them were flawed and had to grow as people.

Personally I actually adore that Elizabeth and Darcy were not instantly drawn to each other, (though, of course, not at all how Darcy went about expressing it) as to me it shows it wasn't merely lust at first sight, they both had to work through some things. Plus, given their obstinacy, such a courtship seems, to me, the natural way both Darcy and Elizabeth would have chosen their spouses and ultimately, it also feels like the kind of relationship that you really believe will last. They know each other's flaws and they still love each other regardless. Very romantic and believable, to me!