#he has a lot of good pictures can you blame me 😔

[wishchip106]

Headcanons about dating Charles Xavier ❤️

• He leaves you for his toxic co-dependent situationship named Erik

[byeashhh]

haiiii!!! I'm honestly not super sure how to request things from people, but would you mind writing some headcanons/blurbs about Hellboy with a gender neutral/male reader? maybe a scenario where the reader is just absolutely over the moon about him and super caring and lovey dovey? I love that man so much he deserves his boobs to be grabbed okay 😔 (if not, that's okay! ty anyway :])

thank you so much for your submission! it really means a lot! ♡ i am so over the moon happy that someone requested hellboy,, i hope i do him enough justice in this!! ・・・・・ inbox open ⟶ ♡ ・・・・・ decided to do headcanons and a little blurb! ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

➤ most people see the cigar, the scowl, the big gun. but those who know him see the guy who rescues stray cats from alleys, quotes comic books mid-battle, and keeps trinkets from every mission like a sentimental magpie ➤ he watches people carefully around them, but he trusts them implicitly. he’s just... wary. he’s seen too much to not keep his guard up. but with them, he lets it down a little more each day ➤ hand holding? absolutely. leaning on him while watching tv? always. his favorite. he’ll pretend to grumble about it, but he melts every time ➤ his tail has a mind of its own. it wraps around their leg when they’re standing too close. it taps against the floor when he’s impatient or flustered. once it knocked over a lamp during a kiss. he blamed it on the wind ➤ not always great at words, but he’ll show love through actions: fixing their gear, bringing them back weird little souvenirs, or holding them all night after a hard day. “i’m not good at this stuff,” he’ll mutter, but he tries. and it means the world ➤ loves being fussed over. even if he won’t admit it. they clean his cuts, smooth his hair back, rub his shoulder with balm. he closes his eyes and leans into it with a heavy, grateful sigh. it's the kind of tenderness he never thought he’d get to have ➤ absolutely treasures little domestic moments. grocery shopping. watching old movies. folding laundry side by side. those quiet, human things he never thought he’d have a place in — he cherishes every one of them. ➤ keeps photos of them tucked into his locker or coat. grainy polaroids, blurry selfies, a picture they drew him as a joke — he treats it all like treasure

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

the mission had ended hours ago, but the adrenaline always lingered in his bones like smoke in fabric — hard to shake. his coat was hanging over the back of the couch, boots kicked off and forgotten, one arm draped lazily around them as they nestled into his side.

the apartment was dim, just the low hum of the TV playing reruns they weren’t watching, and the soft sound of their fingers tracing slow circles over his chest. the contact made him feel like something real. something grounded.

they looked up at him with that gaze again — the one that always knocked the air clean out of his lungs. full of warmth and awe, like he was something sacred. like they still couldn’t believe he was theirs.

“what?” he asked, voice low and gravelly.

they smiled. “just looking at you.”

he snorted. “you do that a lot.”

“can you blame me?”

He didn’t answer — just leaned down and kissed the top of their head, his hand curling gently around theirs. he was still getting used to it. to being looked at like this. touched like this. loved like this.

he didn’t say I love you often — not because he didn’t feel it, but because it scared him, how much he did. but in the quiet way he held them closer, the kiss pressed to their temple, the way he exhaled like he could finally breathe again — it was all there. every bit of it.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[ryuichirou]

I had a dream I was in a classroom with a bunch of twst characters and I have to squeeze their asses, so I grab Rook’s butt and I am greeted with a handful of the dumpiest dump truck of an ass to ever exist!

Then I get go get a handful of Trey’s ass, and it is a gloriously muscular butt!

I thought you might get a kick out of my brain headcanoning twst butts, and, honestly, I just needed someone else to know this information.

The dreams our Anons are having are honestly something else. But this is what twst does to people’s minds, so I can’t blame you, Anon 🫠 Everything is twst boys’ butts, and nothing hurts. You’ve also picked such good characters to grab butts of, well, not safety-wise, but butt-wise. Good taste.

Honestly it’s a good question. I think we’ve had this conversation with Katsu several times, but every time it ends with “Yana gives everyone flat asses anyway :( “. Still, let’s fantasize a little bit…

Riddle – an almost nonexistent butt. It’s kiiiind of there, but barely. It’s obviously quite small, but surprisingly? Also quite soft. It’s a very cute butt, but he would hate it if you said that to him.

Ace – eh, just a regular butt? Nothing too special. If google isn’t lying to me, basketball mostly activates the muscles of your upper body, so while Ace is very toned in general, he has more “meat” up there.

Now, someone who does track and field  would have his glutes muuuch more developed. What I’m saying is that Deuce has a very nice butt. It’s not too big, but it’s definitely bigger than Ace’s.

Trey’s butt isn’t super huge but it’s noticeable. It’s round and a little soft, but there’s still probably some muscles there lol

Cater is someone who wouldn’t have a big and noticeable butt, but on some photos it would look big enough for him to write a cringy description for it when he posts the picture on magicam lol

Leona – probably a noticeable round butt. Soft when he sleeps, hard as rock when he’s awakened because someone just touched his butt.

Jack – once again, track and field! He probably has the biggest butt, it’s super meaty and impressive. And the tail just brings more attention to it lol

Ruggie – bones 😔 Feed him more

Azul – as someone who owns a beautiful aniplex Azul figurine, I can say with certainty: the butt is flat   And Azul does a lot to keep it that way. It isn’t as boney as Ruggie though, of course, and is quite nicely toned and muscular. The muscles just aren’t as noticeable.

Jade and Floyd – hmmm, the tweel butts are big, but also not that perky. They have more “volume” in their chest region and also have wide shoulders, so the tweel butts don’t look as huge when you don’t look at them specifically to check them out. They do look nice in their dorm uniform pants though.

Kalim – a small one, not very impressive. For some reason, Jamil’s butt is bigger, even though Kalim eats more and exercises less often. Jamil also breaks the basketball rule, but maybe it’s because he also dances.

Vil – perfection I mean,,, Vil’s butt looks exactly how he wants it to look, not an inch smaller or bigger. In general, he has a noticeable, but not big butt. It looks round, is soft, but also super muscular. He could break a magic pen with his cheeks if he had nothing better to do. I like to call Vil’s butt a “yoga butt” lol

Rook – bigger than one would expect, definitely bigger than Vil’s. He spends a lot of time hiding in bushes, so his leg muscles are something else lol as we also know from Yana’s words, Rook is heavier than Trey, so there is some beefcakey bullshit going on under his robes. It’s honestly a testament to his amazing hiding skills that no one in NRC has noticed his butt yet.

Epel – small, but actually quite bouncy butt. Not a lot bigger than Riddle’s…

Idia – Bones… the bone king himself 😭 and yet, his butt gets nervously tighter adorably if you poke his cheek with your finger.

Ortho – he also barely has a butt. A small and hard robo-butt. Tragic. Maybe his niisan will build a nice one for him if he asks! Idia definitely spends more time thinking about thighs than butts lol

Silver – a gorgeous butt. Round, squishable, he has strong muscles and yet he’s usually very relaxed and soft. Lilia is proud of Silver’s butt, as if he has anything to do with the way it looks.

Sebek – a big and meaty boy. Heavy. Not as big as Jack, but pretty close. Sebek definitely killed someone with the sheer strengths his butt once because he wasn’t careful while turning. But it’s completely their fault! It’s definitely not as soft as one would expect it to be….

Lilia – it’s as if…as if it’s not even there. He used to have a bigger butt when he was younger; these days it’s just… flat lol but Lilia knows his angles and poses, so he can trick you into thinking that he has a cute butt if he wanted to!

Malleus – another quite gorgeous one. It’s a butt that no one ever sees, but it’s also quite legendary. And, in contrast to Sebek, it’s quite softer than one would expect it to be. Also quite pale and tender.

[geographer746]

ENGLISH VERSION

the heads @madisonthetimewalker are so cool that I wanted to share my own (^_^)

(in general, the heads will be mostly about all the dragons because I, well, I love them all very much..)

(the translation may be crooked thanks to Yandex translator😊)

(DISCLAIMER EVERYTHING THAT WILL BE WRITTEN BELOW IS PURELY MY FANTASY, I DO NOT URGE YOU TO LOVE IT IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT, DO NOT READ!!!!!)

(disclaimer 2 there is no information at all about some characters, so I made it up^)

(disclaimer 3 I did not play games, and did not read all the works related to wakfu so the information may not be the same as in the original or vice versa, but I don't care gee gee)

1) there is a lot between Tanafita and Ratrosk..A bad relationship

2) in the era of Wakfu, Ratrosk lives his "human life", works somewhere in the fields, collects wheat, sometimes lies on hay with a spike in his teeth, looks at clouds and thinks about the impermanence of non-existence

3) Draconirus, although he is a dragon of dreams and nightmares, he does not really sleep

4) He smokes a pipe (know that there is not always tobacco🚬🌿💨

5) I do not know how I got to this point, but..Uronigrid and Helioborosus are women.

(it's just that we don't know anything about them at all, so they're women to me. moreover, there are few female dragons, why not)

7) Uronigrid and Helioboros are the daughters of the Great Dragon (haha, the Yugo and Adamai plus more relatives)

8) Uronigrida is always very angry and aggressive, she appreciates balance and hates "sinners", it seems that she does not love her children, but she can be soft and loving

9) Helioborosa is the complete opposite of Uronigrid, she is kind and cheerful, maybe a little stupid and trusting, but if she becomes serious / make her angry..save your asses, she loves his children VERY much, and in principle everyone

10)I sincerely believe that Dardondakal and Jahash were friends, bro all that

11) he misses him very much😔

12) Dardondakal appears at a random moment from dofus and begins "And your father ....!" and tells a "very funny story" about Jahash, Joris "uh well ok -_-"

13) He is VERY TALKATIVE, at first glance it seems serious, but if he starts talking, then there is no stopping him (Jahash is the same)

14)Gresgalion has a vibe a grandfather who drinks tea 24/7 and tells stories from his youth or a kind older brother who always takes care of the younger ones

15) I don't really like the way it looks, so I imagine it more like this

16) Krulaklakoss doesn't like that others can't pronounce his name normally, but he doesn't like it himself

17) he's still that bitch bitch, even though the white dragon

18) I'm thinking about the fact that he specifically 🔞 with crocubuli to annoy the Grougalorasalar

19) if these two meet, the world 12 will not live here, even the gods and all the eggs of the world will not help

20) The Gargoylone doesn't give a fuck about everything, he just sleeps somewhere

21) it is better not to wake him up

22) The one-whose-name-cannot-be-called is the same child who was fucked up by older brothers in childhood, so he grew up hating the whole world

23) Grougalorasalar loved his family very much

24) in general, I see him as a very good father, well, yes, they killed millions of people together, so what🙄

25) blames himself for Crocoburio's death and still can't forgive himself for it

26) as we see in the movie, Julit has a sword, so I imagine Jahash had a two-handed sword

(as a person who has been playing genshin for 4 fucking years, I couldn't help but give an example of a weapon that he could have)

and so we have Wolf's Doom, the Lighthouse of the Reed Sea, the Song of Broken Pines, but they would be in light shades to match Jahash

27) dragons of black/white fire can create weapons from it

since Jahash has a two-handed man, I see Dardondakal with a sword, he is like D'Artagnan and also has his mustache

I saw this picture in pinterest (xs who is the author) but I think such a two-handed sword would suit Grougalorasalar (in general, you understood this pattern, right?)

Krulaklakoss (I couldn't find a normal photo of the captain's sword, well, we have something)

Gresgaulion (and again a Chinese casino without normal photos, well, in general, several one-handed swords)

He-whose-name-can't-uh knives like Juzo Suzuki from Tokyo Ghoul, I think they have a similar vibe both fucked up

Gargoylone uh don't know the axe? It's hard with him

28) Aguabrial, Terracourial and Aerafal I like to see them in human form dressed in costumes and Ignemical who walks semi naked\

29) (as far as I know, it is not clear where Yugo and Adamai are now in the waven) but I like to imagine that during the waven Yugo, Adamai and Joris are sitting somewhere in a tavern, maybe at Albert's with mugs of beer, Yoris and Adamai smoke, sit silent and Yugo he just whines that life is shit, honestly Joris is just there for company, he doesn't know what he's doing there or how it happened.

30) after the death of the soul, I send it to the extern, if a person has sinned, his soul remains here, no, it goes to the incarnation for rebirth (eh, like a canon??)

31) there is a prison for sinners in ekstornam (crocoburio and bolgrot hello)

32) there is such bullshit as the "court of death" where sinners (both people and gods) are judged by Tanafite and Uronigrid with Helioborosa

33) in order to weaken God and put him in prison, you need to kill almost all of his followers, the god Uginag and his race do this

34) Adamai swearing (rarely but aptly)

35)Dragons have a very strange sense of humor, no one understands it, even other dragons

36)Dragons =cats

Sensitive tail

they sleep a lot

produce a different aspect of sounds

they see well in low light conditions

mustache for touch (for some)

37) all the gods are drunks

38)To get drunk with a dragon, you need something high - grade or strong and in large quantities (I don 't know a few cases of 100- degree vodka ? or an ancient grandfather's moonshine?)

39) Dragons have well-developed all senses, and they also have a so-called "sixth sense"

40)Joris's eye is always twitching from nerves

41) he generally has such severe sleep problems

(I still have heads, but I'm too lazy, then)

that's all, if after reading my heads it seemed to you that I was fucked up, know that I am😉👍

I'm preparing a post with 18+ heads, isn't that possible here? there will also be heads in modern au and a deadly file called songs associations with characters maybe maybe I'll finish the memes well xs

and that's it thank you all so far

[destinyc1020]

I loved your review of Challengers!!!! I watched the movie 3 times now and although I love the vibes the film gave me, I had big issues with the script and overall's Tashi's arc. I felt that the male characters were more interesting as ppl and their story of a close friendship turned rivalry to ending with both of them not speaking for years was quite compelling. I honestly just thought Tashi was a symbol for them tbh. this is where I blame the writer Justin cause the reason he made Tashi black was because he was inspired by Serena and Naomi Osaka however, this film is very apolitical. Outside of the mention of the alleged racist tennis opponent, her race is never mentioned. Her black father isn't even present in the older Tashi scenes. So what was the point of taking such good care of her white boys' line?

The last point is not going to be a point but a link. It discusses how Zendaya is the next leading lady of the generation. I have some thoughts but I hope you can read it so we can discuss. I do think that one critic has some inflammatory comments on Z that I feel are more personal than biased, but as a dark-skinned black woman, I can understand where that frustration comes from. It is tough because it is a lot and I appreciate if you do want to add any more discourse because I do feel Z sometimes is separated apart because she biracial black woman the bigger issue is Hollywood as an entity but using that white boy line kinda justify it for me.

https://www.vulture.com/article/zendaya-challengers-leading-lady-debate.html

Whew!!! Anon....this was a very deep and interesting read! Thank you for your kind words Anon about my review. Like I said, I'm always 100% honest on here about how I feel lol. 😄

I'll just say this, that overall, people are going to have varying opinions on someone's acting or just a film in general. I look at films and an actor's performance as just something that is subjective.... One person may LOVE a film or an actor's performance, and another person may think the film/acting was just "So-so". It's just like a piece of art. We can all have various different tastes, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that necessarily? Sometimes, our life experiences, exposure, and world view can shape how we view certain films or pieces of art. So, I am not even surprised that one of the critics in this article doesn't really care for Z's acting/films, etc... It's her personal opinion I guess.... 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm a little iffy as well on Justin's writing tbh.... I remember when leaks of the script/screenplay FIRST came out, people were cringing lol. 😅 I'm glad that the film version wasn't as cringe-worthy as some people felt the film would be. I still would have changed some things about the writing.

But hey, sometimes, you don't need a picture-perfect film with picture-perfect characters. Sometimes, life is complicated, PEOPLE are complicated, and you don't need an ending that's tied neatly into a nice little bow with a "happily ever after" attached.

With that said, I'll comment and provide my reaction to some of the points in the article you just linked:

Whew... Welp...She made some interesting points. I know this will probably ruffle a few feathers here, but she's definitely coming in with some hard-hitting thoughts and feelings.

I've been saying this about Hollywood for years... The fact that monoracial, YOUNG, desirable, darker-skinned black women are basically ignored in Hollywood.... I do agree with her statements on this. I am a huge supporter of Z, and I love that she has the type of power that she has in Hollywood, but I do also feel for my darker-hued sisters as well. 😔

With regards to race.... Don't get me wrong, I don't need films where black people (black women especially) have to address RACE in every single role that is given a black person. Is it just me?? But sometimes, it's just REFRESHING to watch a movie, see a black person onscreen, and NOT have to think about race. 👀 We already have to deal with race and think about it just about every single day, 24/7... That can at times be exhausting. Sometimes, when you watch movies, you just want to ESCAPE...Escape your problems, escape reality, escape real life, or just escape what's on your mind atm, etc... You don't need a constant reminder of societal issues, and views of "blackness" in every single film that features a black person. At least, I don't feel that way.

But I do feel like certain elements and ways that woc (black women in particular) are portrayed onscreen DO play a huge role in how we are viewed in society, how we view ourselves, and how certain stereotypes are continuously perpetuated. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyway, I still hate that "white boys" line lol. It just seemed cringe to me, and totally out of nowhere lol. 😅 I'm like, do people even talk like that in REAL life? I doubt it lol.

Hmmm....interesting take.... 🤔

.

I meannnnn....I DO have to agree w/her statement on Timmy and Zendaya in the "Dune" franchise. I sense more platonic/"Friendship" chemistry btwn them, than actual sexual or sensual chemistry tbh. 👀

Whereas, I felt like she and Josh definitely seemed to have tangible sexual chemistry onscreen in "Challengers". Sometimes, you can know someone a little TOO well, that when you act with them in romantic scenes, it's not really believable because you two are like brother and sister vibes irl with each other lol. 🤣 I think that's the case w/Timmy and Zendaya onscreen.

.

While I don't agree with her that black people should ONLY work with mostly other black people onscreen lol, I will say that I agree with her part highlighted above. I've been saying for a while now that I'm really curious to see how Z would fare in a film directed by a black director, surrounded by a primarily black cast. 😊

.

With all of this said, I have to admit, this little part right here made me smile...

I can see it too! The Academy LOOOVES indie films like these. 😊😃

Anyway, great read Anon! 👍🏾 Thanks for sharing! It was good to get dual sides of the coin from their differing opinions.

[wvffles]

ahh, alex this is amazing !!<3 i'm so in love with this ♥️

lots of incoming thoughts lol, sorry in advance :')💘

Biting the inside of your lip, you can’t help but take him in, here in the raw light of day as he lays peacefully on his back. His head lolls to the side on your usual pillow. Your eyes roam over the bow of his lips, the dark eyebrows, lightish brown hair that's softer than it should be between your fingers.

I wish he was real at least once a day, I wanna give him a bunch of little kisses all over his face so bad 😩💗

It starts at Sam Winchester’s joint bachelor-bachelorette party at a nice hotel downtown.

I loveee this. <33 honestly the concept of traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties make zero sense to me, like wdym last night of freedom??? i'd simply cancel the wedding, go be free lmaoo 🙂‍↔️🤚🏽

They look beautiful in their lithe, strapless little cocktail dresses. You’ve had to give up chocolate, bread, and cheese for three months straight to fit into this dress, something slinky and red that drapes over your thicker, curvy figure. But you’re proud of the fact that you’re letting yourself eat cake tonight, even though you’ve often felt like Mrs. Doubtfire while standing for pictures next to Lisa and Jo.

ohhh I felt this to my coreeeee 😭 ( those 'fake nice' mean girls are the worst like it gets to a point you'd just prefer them to be straight up lol)

He can almost imagine that he’s coming free inside you, that you’re milking his cock for every drop, until there’s nothing left for him to give.

now I understand that this is probably a wild thing to highlight, however, it's making me giggle so bad after knowing how the rest of the chapter goes 🤣 his intuition is on point lmfaooo

with that being said, I truly adore their connection. 💓 it's so genuine and comfortable <33 and that spiceeee, it had me blushing ❤️‍🔥🫠 so good 🫶🏽

“And you didn’t even fucking call her. See? This is why I don’t set you up with any of my friends anymore,” Sam bitches at him from his side of the small two-seater dinner table.

you tell him sammy !! I completely understand focusing on training but a simple text message could have sufficed dean ._.

“You know, Dean, I’m pretty busy with my job right now. I just started here a couple of months ago, and I think I just need to focus on that right now,” you say. Part of it isn’t a lie, even though your soft heart is stinging.

I understand why she did this but still, aagh ☹️ my hopeless hearttt lol

Two months later, Dean has taken Sam’s dating advice to heart. A week or so after you turned him down, he ran into Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, while he was at the grocery store buying beer and Twizzlers. She was a smart, sharp, sexy brunette. A yoga instructor, he soon found out. So he took a chance on asking her out. They’ve been going slow and steady ever since. 

deeeep sigh 😔 (nothing against canon lisa lol)

“Dean, I’m pregnant,” you confess.

considering the lovely story banner I should have guessed, but this really did surprise me somehow lollll 😭 (perhaps the gif distracted me 🤣)

“What did he say when you told him?” Sam asks. His gaze is firmer. You get the idea that if he doesn’t like what you tell him, then he’s about to go grab his brother by the ear himself.

aww sammy 🥺 he's such a sweetheart, I love him. also I can totally picture that 💀

Dean can tell that he knows, just in his Big Bird body language. He’d also recognize that accompanying Bitch Face anywhere.

lmfaoooooo dean pls 🤣 gotta love that sibling analysis

Lisa greets you with a “polite” smile at best, but she does offer you water at least. You really can’t blame her for not liking you though. She found out her boyfriend got another woman pregnant right before he started dating her. Really, she has more balls than you for staying with him.

i'd be blaming her for sure because how is she gonna be mad at something that happened before she was in the picture, then continue to be mad as if she's not actively choosing to stay, which is wild to me considering it's only been two months 💀 (she low-key reminds me of mona from friends 😩)

“So, you’re what, six months pregnant?” she asks.

this could just be my anger issues talking but the urge to bitch slap her has appeared and it only intensified the more she talked 🤠 nothing more irritating than thinly veiled insults and backhanded comments. and how dare she do this, not just to another woman, but a pregnant woman? i'd cuss her out so quick like ho is you cool?? pack it up and put it away nobody asked for your projections negative nelly 🤚🏽

She gets up quicker from the couch than you, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss. You avert your gaze while you begin to get up yourself. Dean reaches out to help you, grasping your arm in support.

oh god my patience could neverrr 😭 it may be a bit irrational, but I would be so upset like you just kissed your gf, do not touch me sir. 🤠more importantly though, how are you going to juggle a new relationship with another woman and be truly committed to all the responsibilities of a new baby? :/ oh dean

“Bye, hun. Hope you have a good appointment,” Lisa says, giving your shoulder a pat. You give her the most genuine smile you can muster as you thank her. It's possibly that she's one of those women who don't realize when they're being cunty, but you find it highly unlikely. She's too smart for that.

oooo I woulda smacked her hand away, like don't touch me you sneaky wench 🤺

“And after the birth, I’m just going to be an even fatter slob who can’t take care of her baby,” you sniffle and weep, trying in vain to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself.

awww, i wanna give her a huuuuuug :((

His jade green eyes are firmly set on yours, and he gestures between you and him with a pointed finger. “The reason you and I are here right now, is because the minute I saw you, I wanted you.”

honestly he's so real for this lolll

this was a great first chapter! the preview for the next part has me intrigued, and a bit confused 😅 i’m really looking forward to seeing how this plays out <333

IF I STAY - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Yes, here’s another firefighter AU! Based on a request from one of my lovely Patreon members: @redhoodieone. She requested pretty much all the major beats of this story, so hopefully I did her request justice! This is also partially inspired by Fools Rush In, a beautiful movie with Salma Hayek and Matthew Perry (Rest in Peace, King).

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis

Word Count: 8.7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, thick thirty, hints of body insecurity, but also body appreciation, angst, and hurt/comfort.

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 1: Fools Rush In

Slowly, your eyes slide open into the waking world. Your head is resting on something warm, firm…and a little sweaty. You pick your head up, despite the disorienting, muddy feeling of a slight hangover.

A groan bubbles in your throat. Your gaze travels downward, and you realize that what you’re looking at is more of a who.

Your eyes widen. Oh…my…God…

Not only are you very naked, but your firm pillow is too. It happens to be your best friend’s brother.

Yes, holy fucking shit! You slept with your best friend’s brother.

Biting the inside of your lip, you can’t help but take him in, here in the raw light of day as he lays peacefully on his back. His head lolls to the side on your usual pillow. Your eyes roam over the bow of his lips, the dark eyebrows, lightish brown hair that's softer than it should be between your fingers.

He’s painfully handsome. There’s a slight hesitation in your touch, but you softly trace the cut of his jaw and the stubble spread across it. That roughness feels familiar, and not just under the pads of your fingers, though the thought makes you blush. You begin to remember the night before, almost like a movie reel through your mind… 

Ooooh, right. That’s what happened.

It starts at Sam Winchester’s joint bachelor-bachelorette party at a nice hotel downtown. He and Eileen aren't the "strippers and coke" kind of party couple. They're more the "wine and brie en croute with pickled olives" on the expensive crackers you can't afford—kind of couple.

They look perfectly in love, if a bit long-suffering while Dean gives a hilarious, somewhat inappropriate, but still ultimately heartwarming toast to their happiness. After lowering the glass of champagne from his lips, his gaze catches on yours in the crowd. You suck in a subtle breath. 

Technically you’ve met him already, being one of Eileen’s bridesmaids, but there’s something about his green eyes that pin you to the floor. When he hands over the mic to Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, his head turning away from you to offer her a smile breaks the spell. It allows you to breathe.

Dean later finds you by the bar. You’re drinking a rum and coke with your slice of cake, trying not to get a single crumb on your dress. You've put a lot of work into affording it, let alone fitting in it. He leans his elbows casually on the counter and looks over at you.

“Hey, how’s it going?” he nods at you with a smile, subtly taking you in first. Then, his eyes go to your plate. “Ooh, red velvet. Gotta get me some of that.”

You smile back at him. “It’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, looks good in your hand,” he says, adding a teasing wink for good measure.

You don't know why that does it for you, but a half-flattered, half-nervous laugh tumbles out of your mouth. Sam has warned you before about Dean. Apparently his older brother is a bit of a flirt; a ladies’ man.

A man whore, are the words Eileen used.

You’re honestly surprised he’s talking to you when Eileen’s other bridesmaids, Lisa and Jo, are sipping martinis together down at the other end of the bar. Guess they didn’t want cake.

They look beautiful in their lithe, strapless little cocktail dresses. You’ve had to give up chocolate, bread, and cheese for three months straight to fit into this dress, something slinky and red that drapes over your thicker, curvy figure. But you’re proud of the fact that you’re letting yourself eat cake tonight, even though you’ve often felt like Mrs. Doubtfire while standing for pictures next to Lisa and Jo.

They’re Eileen’s friends, not so much your crowd. No matter how much you’ve tried to get to know them while helping the wedding planning in whatever way you can, you still get a high school clique vibe from the women, if with more “polite smiles.” Then they’ll typically go back to talking about crystal centerpieces—or whatever in-depth conversation they were having before you were there. 

But right now, Dean’s focus is on you. When he asks you more about yourself, you tell him about recently earning an elementary education degree.

“Ah, but you already knew that, because Sam told you we graduated college together,” you realize, with warmth tingeing your cheeks. That subject came up pretty quickly when he introduced you to his brother.

Dean’s smile confirms your suspicions, so you just keep filling the silence on reflex.

“Well, I actually just started teaching my first ever semester of second graders. They’re a bit of a handful, but overall, they’re really sweet.” Your smile falters. “Except for this one kid who likes to put little tacks on my chair. He’s kind of a menace, but I think if I bribe him with enough lollipops, he’ll give it a rest. I mean, it’s a behavioral issue and I should probably call his parents. But it's kind of hard to tell them their son is trying to make my ass into a pincushion."

Dean's laugh comes out in a sharp burst, like he wasn't expecting what just came out of your mouth. You didn't either, honestly. You giggle more out of embarrassment, ducking your head.

"He’s in second grade, you know?" you say, in between laughter. "I don't think that little footnote needs to end up on his permanent record. But then there's Micah. He's so friggin' smart. He can read at the fifth grade level already. Can you believe that? And I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but his grades on his spelling tests get him a spot in the comfy bean bag chair pretty much every Friday. Honestly, I think that's what I like about working with kids. I get to see that spark on their face when something just finally clicks for them. Their little faces get all bright and happy and…ugh. God, I'm sorry. I'm rambling, right?”

You stop yourself with a hand sliding over your mouth, not quite covering your smile of embarrassment.

Dean’s grin just widens, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

"It's okay. I kinda like it," he teases.

You duck your head, biting your lip against a groan. He chuckles and reaches out for your hand, earning your nervous glance. He quirks his head.

“Hey, you're passionate about what you do, helping kids. That's nothin' to be ashamed of,” he says, brushing his thumb over your hand. “But sweetheart, I gotta ask. Am I making you nervous or something?”

God, yes, you think, especially at that sweetheart thing. It’s making your heartbeat tick up a syncopated rhythm, but you shake your head, biting the straw of your rum and coke.

“No, not at all,” you say, in a hopefully “breezy” kind of way. You touch your fingers to his wrist. “Tell me about you though. Sam mentioned that you’re a firefighter?”

“Ah, yeah. Firefighter in training,” he says, with a more genuine smile.

He just started at the Fire Academy, and he tells you about all the drills he’s had to learn and all the training he’s had to do to be able to keep up with his classes. You subtly eye him while you sip at your drink, and you notice the crisp cut of his buttoned-down shirt and leather jacket, the definition of muscle across his thighs under the slacks, even while he casually sits.

Your gaze subtly travels down his long bowed legs, smart dress shoes. His cologne is woody and masculine, but not overpowering; maybe bergemot and sandalwood. It pleasantly wafts under your nose every time he gestures with his hands while he talks.

“Aw man, I can’t hold out anymore. I think I need to get me some of that cake before it’s gone,” he says, getting up from his chair.

You’re a bit disappointed that he’s leaving, until he stops short.

“You want another piece?” he offers, gesturing at your empty plate that’s been resting on the counter.

You blink in surprise, but you shake your head. “Oh, no. I probably shouldn’t.”

“Why not? It’s a party,” Dean reasons. His grin is too damn infectious. It has you smiling, and begrudgingly agreeing.

Not only does he bring you more cake, but you watch him eat three whole slices before he asks you to dance.

The rest of it flashes through your mind like strobe lights—the way he’d started small and respectful with his larger hand closed over yours and the other along the curve of your waist. He guided you closer and closer, until you were turned around into his arms, and you could feel his warm breath on your neck.

You felt his lips teasing your skin. Then those hands tantalizingly drifted down your every soft curve, as if showing you a preview of everything he could do to you, and every way he’d make you come apart. You believed him.

And when he whispered in your ear, asking if he could take you home, you let him.

You let him drive you in that big black piece of history he drives. Used to be my dad’s car, he said. A Chevy something. You couldn’t really remember much when his hand was drifting up and down your thigh like that.

His presence burned hot at your back when you two eventually got to the front door of your apartment, your hands just barely shaking as you got the key in. Twist and click—

He waited until you flipped the lights on. Then he turned you around slowly in his arms and pulled you in close, all the while asking you with his eyes and raised brows. This okay? You want this?

“Do I still make you nervous?” he asked, his lips twitching at a smile when yours do.

You nodded, uttering a small giggle. “In a good way.”

That was when he finally kissed you, hot and slow, like he meant to devour you whole. He moaned at the taste of you, at the feel of your ass squeezed in his hands. You clung onto him strong, breathing into his kiss and trying to meet every single demand of his lips.

It soon became a fiery tear to your bedroom, one lamp flicked on, hot breaths and nice clothes crumpled to the floor. You didn’t feel self-conscious even once when he guided you under him on the bed, because he wasted no time in taking you apart, inch by inch.

His lips kissed and licked and sucked a burning trail down your neck, over your collarbone and between your breasts. You felt his hardened length trapped between your bodies while his hands explored you, teasing your breasts and sensitive nipples, and he mapped his way down with his lips.

You explored every part of him you could—every dip of muscle, firm shoulders and the slopes of his back, and then back up to tangle in his hair. Your heated gasps and whimpers filled the room when his sinful mouth found what it was looking for between your legs.

It wasn’t often that you had a strong pair of shoulders to rest your thighs on, but Dean’s grip was hard enough to leave deep fingerprints of pressure on each thigh while he slipped his tongue through your folds and feasted on you.

“D-Dean, oh God,” you gasped. Every sound you made was a sensuous symphony in his ears, washing over his skin and making the well of his desire churn hot in his lower belly. He had to roll his hips into the mattress for some relief for his aching cock, even while he moved his mouth up to your clit, circling the swollen bud with his tongue. He had enough room to slip two fingers deep inside your sopping wet channel, exploring you deeply, stroking and twisting to find what you needed.

Your thighs trembled and squeezed tight on either side of his head. When he sucked your clit tight between his lips, you uttered as gasping moan as that coil snapped its release. Your inner walls fluttered around his fingers. Yours clenched tightly in his hair, threatening to rip out a few strands.

Dean stroked you all through your first orgasm, giving slower licks to your clit. He seemed to sense when you couldn’t handle anymore though. You tugged more sharply on his hair, and he finally pulled away, moving back up your body to gauge your reaction.

You’d collapsed boneless against the bed, but you still managed to smile up at him as you caught your breath.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked. But his self-satisfied grin almost made you laugh. You took his glistening face between your hands and pulled him down for a grateful kiss.

After a moment to savor your lips, he broke away for a second to catch his breath himself. You stroked his back all the while.

“You know, for a minute down there, I thought you might not let me come back up,” he teased.

You choked on a laugh, covering your face in embarrassment.

“Honestly wouldn’t have minded if you did suffocate me,” he chuckled, accompanied by a slap to your left ass cheek. You squealed, and blushed hotly at the way he was grinning down at you.

“Ready for more, baby? Or you want to call it a night?” he asked. His tone was playful, but it was actually a serious question. You blinked in surprise. You’d never had a guy be this, well…generous, and not expect anything in return, especially not for just a hookup.

But you shook your head and sat up, slipping a hand behind Dean’s neck. After a beat of hesitation, you guided him down to you for a slow, sensuous kiss.

“No, I don’t want to call it a night,” you whispered. Your hand drifted down his bare chest, and lower still. You showed him just how well you could return the favor.

And now, come the morning, you’re blushing down to your neck as each scene flashes through your mind. You feel the ghost of his hands all over your body, and how you’d never quite felt quite as bold and sexy and beautiful with a near stranger as you had with Dean effing Winchester. Your best friend’s brother.

You begin to worry your bottom lip with your teeth. How the hell are you going to tell Sam? Especially after he warned you about exactly this. Plus, there’s a reason you don’t typically do the one-night stand thing, and this has the potential to become something very complicated.

You know what, it’s fine! you think. We’re two consenting adults. We’re both single. And maybe…maybe it could be more than a hookup. Maybe we can see each other again, see where it goes.

“What’re you thinking so hard about?” Dean says, his voice croaking with sleep.

You look down at him in surprise. His eyes have cracked open and he has your hand captive, stopping you from continuing to idly trace patterns on his bare chest. You smile in embarrassment.

“Sorry,” you say. Again, you bite your lower lip. “Um, good morning.”

“Morning, sweetheart,” he grins lazily. “You sure wore me out last night.”

Your smile becomes more genuine, even if you turn your face away somewhat shyly.

“Aw, don’t do that,” Dean says. He slides his hand up your arm and behind your neck, tangling into your already tangled hair when he guides you down to his lips for a kiss. “You were awesome.”

You giggle against his lips. “Really?”

“Hell, yeah,” he says, kissing you again.

You shake your head a little. “You were…”

Amazing. Unbelievable. Probably the best night I’ve ever had.

“Perfect,” you decide. Because it’s the truth. The word comes out of your mouth before you can filter yourself though, making you pause. Dean does too, but after a beat, he slowly smiles.

“Oh yeah?” he asks.

You lick your lips, and you nod. “Definitely.”

“Well, then,” he says. His hand moves down to squeeze your hip. “You down for a repeat performance?”

You smile. “Only if I get a turn.”

Bracing your hands on his chest, you slide your thigh across his lap so you can straddle his hips. Dean grins and goes along with your idea. He gets a nice healthy handful of your thighs and helps settle you on top of him. But first, he reaches over into your nightstand drawer and finds another condom, ripping it open with his teeth.

Just like you did for him last night, you take the packet, as well as his generous length in your hands. You gently stroke him to full mast, smiling pleased at his groan of pleasure. Then you carefully fit the condom over him.

“You’re so gentle with me,” he teases. 

“Just returning the favor,” you quip, just before you position him at your wet entrance. Slowly, you sink down over his cock.

You both moan at the feeling of him stretching you again, warm and thick and fitting perfectly nestled deep inside. There had been moments last night where he wasn’t all that gentle, actually, but his passion had only spurred yours on more. You know you’ll probably find fingerprint marks on your thighs and ass, but it’s fucking worth it, you think, as you begin to bob a rocking rhythm that serves you both.

Dean arches his back underneath you, his knees coming up to press against your ass.

“Goddamn, baby. Givin’ me quite a show,” he says, in a panting voice that’s deep as sin.

You utter a breathy laugh.

Dean means it though. He’s enjoying the way you brush your hair out of your face, your beautiful tits in his face while you truly let loose for him. He guides you by the stronghold he has on your hips, his fingers pressing into your soft flesh as he ruts up into you, meeting your thrusts.

Your breath quickens, your nails digging into his chest on reflex, and your heart races as that delicious pleasure builds. But when Dean snakes a hand between you and further parts your folds to massage tight circles over your clit, your vision flashes white. You utter a scream of pleasure on his name, your inner walls choking him tight as you throb around his cock. His release hits him like a goddamn freight train.

“Aw, fuck,” he grunts.

He slams your hips down hard, making your thighs slap against his. A ragged groan escapes him in a rush. His hands move to your thighs just under your ass, where his fingers press into flesh hard enough to leave forensic ID, giving him leverage to bury himself deep into your pussy as he spills a hot release into the condom.

Goddamn…

He can almost imagine that he’s coming free inside you, that you’re milking his cock for every drop, until there’s nothing left for him to give.

The thought surprises him. It almost takes him out of the moment, honestly. That’s not a thought he’s ever had before—not with a woman he barely knows (which is most of his hookups, if he’s honest).

In that delicious, fractious moment just after it hits, it’s like those few seconds are suspended in zero gravity. Your arms are shaking, and your forced to collapse against his chest. Dean welcomes you there for a little while, letting you come down while he smooths a hand over your hair.

Though he can't help the urge to let his big hand drift down over your dewy skin, down the gentle slope of your back and over the curve of your generous ass. He gives one cheek a teasing slap. The sound echoes in the room.

"Goddamn perfect ass," he says roughly, smirking at your squeal. You end up grinning hard against his neck.

"'S that my new nickname?" you quip.

He chuckles deeply, moving you along with his chest. "Hell, sweetheart, if you want it to be."

Eventually, you lean back to give him a smile and one last kiss before you pull away from him. You slip off his lap to find your robe, at least. You definitely need a shower.

“So I’m thinking, after we get cleaned up, I could make us some breakfast,” you offer. “Or if you want, maybe we could go somewhere. I know a little diner down the block.”

“I like the sound of food,” Dean agrees with a smile. Ge reaches over for his phone on the nightstand, to check the time. His eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”

He has to get his ass over to the Fire Academy. He has class in barely twenty minutes.

He tears out of bed and nearly trips on the coiled sheets.

“Sorry. Gonna need to take a raincheck,” he says. He hurries to find his clothes strewn all over your bedside floor.

“What’s the matter?” you ask with wide eyes. You cross your arms under your breasts, but it’s more like you’re hugging yourself over your robe. You watch him tear through your bedroom in a tempest of movement.

Dean spares you a glance, but not much else as he yanks up his slacks and belt and dress shirt.

“Gotta get to class,” he confesses. Thank God he has his uniform in the trunk of his car for exactly these kinds of emergencies. He grabs his phone, wallet, and keys, and quickly kisses you on the cheek. He gazes down at you apologetically. “Sorry I gotta cut and run, sweetheart, but it’s been fun.”

Your smile barely reaches your eyes. He’s pressed for time, but he still notices.

He slows himself down and cups your cheek. “Hey.”

He gets your pretty eyes looking up at him, and he gives you a real kiss, nice and slow. He cradles your cheek and brushes his thumb across your skin.

“Thanks,” he says. His now familiar grin manages to make you smile. “And I mean that.”

You shake your head at him. “Okay go, Mr. Future Fireman. Be safe out there, okay?”

He gives you a playful salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

You can’t help but laugh. This guy’s too much. But you don't think you've had this much fun having sex in...

All right, let's not put a timeframe on it.

You watch him leave your apartment, even though you have a sinking feeling in your chest. You knew this was just a hookup for him, for both of you. Part of you just couldn’t help hoping that it could’ve led to something more. 

Dean means to call you.

He really does.

After that truly awesome, you shook me all night long, kind of a night, he thinks about you more than he’d like to admit over the next few weeks. However, he finds himself locked into his training. He’s so close to finishing strong and earning his badge, he just can’t afford any more distractions.

Still, he should’ve known that Sam would find out—either through Eileen, or through you directly. He also should’ve expected the way his brother let him have it.

“And you didn’t even fucking call her. See? This is why I don’t set you up with any of my friends anymore,” Sam bitches at him from his side of the small two-seater dinner table. They still share an apartment, though in just a month and a half, Sam’s going to be moving out. He and Eileen already found a house that they’re moving into after the wedding.

“Look, I was going to call her, man. They’ve just been bustin’ my ass at the Academy!” Dean argues.

“Bullshit.” Sam levels him with the same finger that holds his beer.

Dean’s brows raise, high and annoyed. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Because if you really liked her, respected her, and respected me, you would’ve made the time,” Sam says.

That falls heavy between the brothers for a moment while they eat their pizza.

“Look, I know her. She doesn’t do hookups that often, which means…she probably liked you,” Sam adds. “And honestly, when are you going to give it a real try with someone? You can only visit that free clinic so many times.”

Dean shoots him a glare. He’s had a clean bill of health from said clinic for six months straight.

“Jesus Christ. Enough, all right?” he grouses. “What’re you, Mom?”

“I’m just saying,” Sam says, lowering his crust to the plate. He levels his brother with a more earnest look, lightening up from his anger. “Look, if it’s about what happened to Dad—”

“What, you mean the way he drank himself to death after Mom died?” Dean says. His voice cuts through whatever softball glove Sam is trying to handle him with. “You think that’s the kind of thing I should be looking for in my life?”

“Oh, and what, do you think I’m making a mistake marrying Eileen?” Sam counters.

Dean sighs, shaking his head. “Damn it, don’t put words in my mouth. That’s not what I’m saying, it’s just…I don’t know. Maybe that kind of life—the house, the wife, the 2.5 kids and the dog. Maybe that’s just not my life, okay?”

Sam gives him a long look. He lets go of a deep breath, and he shrugs.

“Okay,” he says. “If you think hooking up night after night for the rest of your life is going to make you happy, then fine.”

Dean nods, glad that they can put an end to this little After School Special.

“Okay.”

Still, he can’t finish his third slice of pizza. He keeps picturing your face when he left you that morning. No matter how you tried to hide it, he still saw the tinge of disappointment in your eyes. It brews something uncomfortable in his stomach, and a sting in his chest.

You’re eating lunch alone in your classroom, finally on your break, when an unfamiliar number flashes across your phone screen. You look down at it in confusion, but with all the caterers and florists and things you’ve helped Eileen with on the wedding, you figure it could be important. You pick up the call and greet whoever’s on the line.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

You drop your ham and cheese on your keyboard, gaping in surprise.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he chuckles slightly. “Sorry, I know it’s been a minute.”

You frown, because you’re confused more than anything.

“Yeah, like almost a month,” you reply. You put the call on speaker so you can grab up your sandwich and quickly brush off the crumbs from your keyboard. You struggle to say something cool, clever, sexy even. “I’m okay. Just, um…what’s up?”

Smooth, real smooth. You cover your eyes with your hand.

“Nothin’, I was just thinking of that night,” he says. “I had a good time.”

Your frown deepens, despite the beginning of a blush warming your cheeks. If he’s calling you just for another hookup…

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.”

And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

“I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

That part throws you though, you’re not going to lie. What, is this a Netflix and chill situation—with a side of fries?

You consider it. You weigh pros and cons at a frightening speed in your mind, almost like Sherlock Holmes contemplating the layout of a dead body and deducing within moments that his wife committed the murder, despite the man no longer wearing a ring.

You want to let yourself be bold and spontaneous and carefree...but it's just not who you are at your core. You're a planner, a cautious person who looks three ways before crossing the street. Letting Dean take you home that night was certainly one of the most spontaneous, wild things you've done since your friends took you out to a strip club after you aced your final round of exams back in college.

(Sam hadn't been there that night, but he did get an embarrassing drunken text from you at 3:00 a.m., along with a few shame-ridden pictures fueled by questionable substances. Yes, he still had the evidence.)

You just don't know if it's smart to let yourself hookup with Dean again. Mostly because you know your heart has the tendency to get attached, no matter how much you warn it not to.

“You know, Dean, I’m pretty busy with my job right now. I just started here a couple of months ago, and I think I just need to focus on that right now,” you say. Part of it isn’t a lie, even though your soft heart is stinging.

“Ah, okay. Yeah. I get that,” he says. You hear his disappointment too. “But I just need to say, I really am sorry for not calling you sooner.”

Your lips tug at a smile. “It’s okay, Dean. Look, you’re Sam’s brother. I just feel like, maybe it’s better if you and I stay friends.”

“Friends, huh?” Dean says wryly. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t have three rounds of steamy hot sex with any of my friends.”

Your blush comes swiftly again, burning in your cheeks.

“Be that as it may,” you say, “I just don’t want to do anything that will distract from Sam and Eileen’s wedding.”

“Oh, I’m a distraction, huh?” Dean says flirtatiously. 

You begin to smile in earnest. “I think you know damn well what you are, Dean Winchester.”

His deep chuckle practically resonates through the phone and into your chest, going straight down to your pussy. You clench on nothing just at the sound of his voice, making you cross your legs under your skirt. Dear God…

How are you supposed to be even remotely normal around this man now? 

But for Sam’s sake (and your own), you’ll have to try. 

Two months later, Dean has taken Sam’s dating advice to heart. A week or so after you turned him down, he ran into Lisa Braeden, Eileen’s Maid of Honor, while he was at the grocery store buying beer and Twizzlers. She was a smart, sharp, sexy brunette. A yoga instructor, he soon found out. So he took a chance on asking her out. They’ve been going slow and steady ever since. 

Dean hasn’t heard from you since the rehearsal dinner, but he sees you again at his brother’s wedding. All the bridesmaids are wearing long, royal blue dresses that drape off the shoulders and hug the bust and waist, flaring gently at the skirt. Lisa and Jo wear it beautifully, their hair perfectly smooth and coiled. 

But when you step out into the hall outside the church ballroom to join them, Dean actually pauses in what he’s saying to his brother. He nearly double takes when you enter his line of vision—mostly because he hasn’t seen you in a dress since that night. You were sexy as hell then, a lady in red. 

Today, you’re absolutely stunning. 

After greeting Sam with a warm hug, you turn to him with a nervous kind of smile. “H-Hey, Dean.”

With that, he snaps out of it. Dean smiles, eyes crinkling, and goes over to give you a hug as well.

“Good to see you,” he says, trying not to inhale too much of your nice perfume. It’s even in your hair.

“You too,” you reply. Your smile is a little brighter, more genuine. Though there’s something behind your eyes that he can’t quite place.

What he doesn’t notice is the way Lisa is watching you and her boyfriend, a hint of suspicion on her face.

You do though. You pull away from Dean and assemble into a line with Lisa at the helm. As the Best Man, Dean stands with her, followed by Jo and Brady, another one of Sam’s buddies. You and Benny bring up the rear. Benny’s dad used to work with John, Sam and Dean’s father, on the police force.

According to Sam, John Winchester worked a beat for twenty-six years before his liver finally gave out on him. Dean almost went to the Police Academy to follow in his dad’s footsteps, but Benny, already working his way up to Lieutenant, suggested Dean become a smoke eater instead. The suggestion stuck.

Benny Lafitte is slightly shorter than Dean, but just as broad-shouldered, his auburn beard neatly trimmed. Even though you might’ve thought he was rough around the edges at first, his kind blue eyes spoke the contrary. He offers you his arm like a gentleman.

“Well aren't I lucky, getting the prettiest girl on my arm,” he says, with a charming smile.

You smile, and even begin to blush at the way he subtly takes note of you from head to toe.

“Well, thank you. You’re very handsome yourself. Although, hold on.” You slip your arm out of his for a moment so that you can fix his tie. It’s slightly crooked. You make sure that it lays flat under his collar, smoothing down all the edges and picking off any small dust particles that landed on his collar. Benny watches you with an indulgent smile.

“Am I good?” he asks.

“Very,” you reply.

“I appreciate it, thank you,” he says. You don’t know if he means to sound flirtatious, but his voice is a deep drawl that washes over you pleasantly. You find yourself blushing down to your neck as you slip your arm back around his.

You also don’t notice how Dean glances at you and Benny over his shoulder.

As much as you love Sam and Eileen, it’s difficult for you to keep your mind from spinning into fractals as the ceremony goes on. You can’t help but glance at Dean. He stands there behind Sam dutifully, but you see brotherly pride in Dean’s eyes, in his smile. It makes you smile too. You too love Sam like a brother, and it brings a well of happy tears to your eyes to watch him have his moment with his new wife.

It just also reminds you of what you need to do.

After the ceremony ends and the bridal party files out behind the bride and groom, you excuse yourself from Benny apologetically. You wait until Lisa and Jo go off to take pictures with Sam and Eileen, and you grab Dean’s wrist, pulling him aside.

“I need to talk to you,” you whisper.

Dean gives you a confused look. “They’re gonna need us for the pictures.”

“I know, but this is important,” you say. Your voice trembles with nerves, and so do your hands. Dean notices, frowning in concern. He grasps your arm to try and steady you.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Just come with me,” you implore him. You take his hand and lead him into the women’s dressing room attached to the church sanctuary you all just came out of.

Dean raises his brows at the mess you and the rest of the bridesmaids have made of the room—pantyhose and makeup and clothing litter the floor and most available surfaces, while leftover breakfast sandwiches, grapes, salami, and cheddar cheese cubes are splayed out across one of the vanity counters. Dean is tempted to steal a morsel, but he focuses on you first.

You close and lock the door, which makes his brows raise high again. You know he has a girlfriend now, right?

“Uhh, look, I’m not sure what’s going on here, but—”

You heave a sigh. Again, you take his hand and guide him to sit with you at the vanity. The old stools squeak, the overhead lights a bit too bright. This is not where you want to do this, but you can’t hold it in anymore.

“Dean, I’m pregnant,” you confess.

He freezes. His breath stills in his lungs. His eyes slowly widen as the words click in his brain.

“What?” His head tilts, as if he didn’t hear you right.

You squeeze his hand; to ground him or yourself, you’re not sure.

“I’m about two months pregnant. I found out last week.”

Dean swipes his free hand over his mouth while he tries to compute. He squeezes your hand, tighter and tighter. He points to himself.

“It’s…it’s me? It’s mine?”

You give him a weary smile. “You’re the only one I’ve been with in the last few months. It could only be you.”

Oh fuck. The man’s face begins to pale as he descends into shock.

“But we…I used a condom,” he reasons. “All the—all the times!”

You bite your lip. If you weren’t freaking the fuck out yourself, you’d probably be laughing right now. Granted, you’ve had a bit more time to process this than Dean.

“I know, I was there,” you reply, releasing yet another sigh. “One of them probably broke. That’s all I can think of… Honestly, Dean, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t want to disrupt the ceremony or cause a scene before the wedding. But now you know.”

Dean falls silent then. He hasn’t let go of your hand, which you think is a decent sign. He’s likely forgotten that you’re still holding it as he stares off into the middle distance for several seconds.

Eventually, he shakes his head and returns his gaze to yours. He looks uncertain, his handsome face the true epitome of holy fucking shit.

You know the feeling.

But he asks the most important question.

“What do you want to do?”

Briefly you close your eyes as you take a breath. You squeeze his hand before you let go of him.

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and…I’m keeping the baby,” you tell him, though you raise placating hands. “I don’t want money, or anything like that. I just wanted you to know that it’s yours. How much you want to be in his or—or her life, that’s up to you.”

Dean takes a beat before he answers, but you don’t have to wait so long holding your breath.

“Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll help you. Don’t worry,” he says.

And just like that, all the time you spent giving yourself pep talks for this, telling yourself that you’ll need to be strong no matter what he says, all of it crumbles into relief. Your lower lip trembles, and your body shudders as you break into tears. You try covering your face to hide your shame, but Dean grasps your shoulders.

“Hey, hey. It’s all right,” he says. He tentatively pulls you into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay.”

You nod into his dress shirt, probably staining him with your running makeup.

“Thank you,” you whisper. “Thank you so much.”

He holds you a bit tighter in response.

You and Dean agree to keep this to yourselves for now, at least until Sam and Eileen get back from their honeymoon. It’s difficult to explain why your eyes are all red and your makeup is smudged, but you promise Sam that you’ll tell him later. You know it’s pointless to lie to him though. As a lawyer, his bullshit meter is far too high.

However, you also know that he’s half guessed it by the time you all make it to the reception. When you and Dean came out of that dressing room to join the bridal party for pictures, you're sure that you looked emotionally wrecked. Dean had looked pale as a sheet, his body coiled and tense, as willing himself to seem normal. Sam had clocked both of you with a raise of his brow, but he didn't say anything then, especially after you gave him a pleading look.

While Eileen greets her family without him for a moment, Sam pulls you aside. He notes your glass of diet coke, in a moderate sea of guests drinking champagne and cocktails.

“Are you okay?” he asks knowingly.

Tears well up in your eyes again. You don’t know if it’s your damn hormones going haywire, or just the way Sam asks you, with the love of a friend in his eyes. He squeezes your shoulder gently, prompting you with your name.

“Yeah, I think I will be,” you say.

"Is it the same reason you're not drinking?" he asks. "You and Dean earlier..."

You hesitantly confirm with a nod. Sam blows out a harsh sigh, raising folded hands to his mouth as he processes. You begin to look around on reflex, trying to see if anyone's watching you and Sam have this conversation in the middle of the reception. To your relief, everyone around you seems occupied with drinks, hours d'oeuvres and conversation.

“What did he say when you told him?” Sam asks. His gaze is firmer. You get the idea that if he doesn’t like what you tell him, then he’s about to go grab his brother by the ear himself.

You grab his wrist and give a placating squeeze. “He said he's going to help me, be there for me.”

“Damn right. So will I,” Sam nods, and glances back at Eileen, his new bride, with a smile. “We both will.”

“I know,” you nod as well. “I’ll be okay, Sam. You don’t have to worry so much. Just enjoy your wedding day. It’s the only one you’re gonna get. Well, you know…hopefully.”

You tease him with a wink.

Sam laughs, cupping your cheek. He kisses your other cheek.

“I love you, you know that right?” he says.

You give him a trembling smile through your tears.

Meanwhile, Dean has a beautiful woman in his arms. He turns Lisa on the dancefloor, trying not to trip on his own dress shoes, all the while knowing that his brain isn’t here in his body. It’s across the ballroom, watching you talk to Sam. Dean can tell that he knows, just in his Big Bird body language. He’d also recognize that accompanying Bitch Face anywhere.

“Dean, what’s wrong,” Lisa asks him, and not for the first time. She’s getting annoyed, he can tell. She finally looks over to where he keeps glancing, and she notices you with a frown. It’s also not the first time she’s caught him staring at you tonight.

“What was that earlier in the dressing room? She didn’t really get food poisoning, did she?” she asks pointedly. “What, did you two used to date or something?”

He gives a wan smile. “Yeah, kinda. We…had a thing once.”

“What kind of thing?”

Dean closes his eyes and tries to keep himself calm. He’s pretty sure if he tells her the truth right now, she’s going to find the nearest cocktail and dump it over his head.

But shit, here it goes.

“Well…”

After a long day at school, you drive over to Dean’s apartment. You’d agreed to meet there and wait for him to get off his shift at Firehouse 83, where he just started as a full-fledged firefighter on probation. When he gets home, he’s supposed to go with you to an important appointment with your OB-GYN. 

You were hoping he’d already be done with work by the time you got to his place, but Lisa's there to open the door for you. Apparently, he’d already given her a key.

Moving kind of fast, but okay, you think. A second later, you could’ve rolled your eyes at yourself. Pot, kettle, me. Got it.

Lisa greets you with a “polite” smile at best, but she does offer you water at least. You really can’t blame her for not liking you though. She found out her boyfriend got another woman pregnant right before he started dating her. Really, she has more balls than you for staying with him. You wouldn't put it past Dean to somehow have smooth-talked her into giving him a chance.

Or she really loves him. The thought sobers you as you lower yourself down to the couch beside her. Both of you sit there in silence for a moment, trying to figure out something to talk about.

“So, you’re what, six months pregnant?” she asks.

You correct her in thinly veiled annoyance. “Three months, actually.”

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t know why I thought it was six.”

You have a feeling her awkward chuckle is fake, however. She knew good and damn well that you’re not six months pregnant. In her eyes, you must be the size of a parade float. 

“If you want, I can recommend a holistic diet to help you get your body back after the baby’s born,” Lisa offers. “No pills, no chemicals. Just good clean weight loss.”

You feign interest. Honestly, you’d like her to cram that offer right up her hooch.

“I can even give you a discount if you want to try out yoga,” she says. “It’s low impact, but you burn plenty of calories. I have a beginner’s class, not too strenuous. Even my least flexible clients manage to do the poses.”

Is that why Dean likes you? Because you’re bendy? Bet if I sat on you, you’d pop like a fucking balloon.

You hide all of these thoughts behind a “polite” smile of your own.

“That’s really nice of you, thanks,” you reply. It’s non-committal enough, but hopefully it’ll get her off your back.

No such luck.

“You know, maintaining a healthy diet is really important for the baby’s health too,” Lisa adds. “It’s not just about avoided raw fish and dairy products. Oh, and processed food is obviously a no-go. Like, I’m sure you haven’t been hitting Taco Bell and all that stuff, right?”

As a matter of fact, you’ve been eating clean since long before you got pregnant. Not that it’s any business of hers whether you enjoy the occasional quesadilla or not.

Your temper snaps at its leash. You open your mouth to reply, when the front door unlocks and opens to Dean, stepping in through the threshold.

Thank God, you and Lisa both think. She gets up quicker from the couch than you, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss. You avert your gaze while you begin to get up yourself.

Dean reaches out to help you, grasping your arm in support. You shoot him a smile.

“I can still get up by myself,” you snip.

“Yeah, all right. Just in case,” he says with a smile. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, yeah. Let’s rock and roll,” you say, trying to hide your worsening mood. You’re exhausted, and irritated, and probably more than a little hangry. Except now, the idea of food just has you feeling guilty for even being hungry.

“Bye, hun. Hope you have a good appointment,” Lisa says, giving your shoulder a pat. You give her the most genuine smile you can muster as you thank her. It's possibly that she's one of those women who don't realize when they're being cunty, but you find it highly unlikely. She's too smart for that.

You follow Dean out the door and over to his car, big and black and sleek as you remember. You settle into the passenger seat with your arms crossed in silence. Dean switches the cassette to one of his favorite Led Zeppelin albums, though he notices your grumpy face.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

You give him some side-eye, but you’re reluctant to say anything. You just shake your head. As irritated as you are, you don’t want to be the friend who badmouths his girlfriend.

God, are we even friends? You wonder. Or am I just his knocked-up baby momma?

And again, you realize that this whole situation is probably hard for Lisa. You just don’t know if she’s jealous, or if she just…doesn’t like you.

“I’m okay,” you tell Dean.

He raises a skeptical brow. Looks like Sam isn’t the only one with a finely tuned bullshit meter.

“All right, how about this,” Dean says. “Let’s grab some burgers after this, huh? From your favorite spot. Shake Shack, right? Side of fries, frozen yogurt. I think I’ll get chocolate this time… Hmm, I doubt Lisa will want anything. She’s gone on an all-vegan kick or something.”

For one shining moment, you were happy and touched at his consideration. But now your body stills in your seat when you remember Lisa’s words. Tears well up in your eyes with a hot sting, and a sob escapes your throat.

Dean is cut off from thinking about getting extra bacon on his burger. He looks over at you in alarm. “H-Hey, what’s the matter?”

You scoff at him through your tears. “Are you kidding me? I can’t eat burgers anymore, Dean. I was already fucking fat. Now it’s just gonna get ridiculous.”

“What?” Dean’s brows knit together in confusion, along with his deepening frown. It gets worse as he tries to watch the road ahead, while at the same time, watching you continue to crumble.

“And after the birth, I’m just going to be an even fatter slob who can’t take care of her baby,” you sniffle and weep, trying in vain to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself.

Dean grits his teeth, his jaw twitching. Fuck it.

He turns the steering wheel sharp enough to startle a gasp out of you.

“Dean!”

He pulls the car over onto the side of the road, ignoring the honking SUV behind him. He shifts into Park and shuts off the radio—a big red flag, in your opinion. He’s upset too, and fucking serious, more so than you’ve ever seen him. You stare back at him with wide eyes.

“I’ve never once heard you say that you’re fat,” he says.

You blink at that, but eventually, you’re able to get your tongue to unstick from the roof of your mouth. You wipe the remnants of tears from your cheeks. Your face is already hot from your upset, now tinged with embarrassment.

“You haven’t known me very long,” you say quietly.

It doesn’t help. Dean’s jaw ticks again.

“Well, I’ve never thought it. Not even once,” he says. His jade green eyes are firmly set on yours, and he gestures between you and him with a pointed finger. “The reason you and I are here right now, is because the minute I saw you, I wanted you.”

One corner of his lips kicks upwards. “And that night, you didn’t disappoint.”

Your mouth falls open slightly. You don’t know how to respond, but you do know that a full blush is warming your face and neck. His words have power, and unbidden, they bloom a similar warmth between your legs. You swallow a bit nervously as you bite your bottom lip.

Dean glances down at your mouth when you do. He can remember what your pretty mouth did for him that night. Oh, he remembers all too well. He even had the shade of your lipstick streaked across his skin until he showered up at the firehouse.

He locks that all away when shifts the car back into Drive. If you’re going to make it to this appointment on time, he needs to get going.

And you both have to leave whatever that was right here by the side of the road.

AN: Woo! 😮‍💨 Yep, this is only Part 1, friends. Lisa is a bit different in this. My take was that without Ben in her life, she might be less mature and a bit more catty. As we get into Part 2 I'll leave it up to you to decide why she decides to stay with Dean, and perhaps more importantly, where the reader and Dean can go from here as co-parents. 🤔

If you enjoyed Part 1, please let me know!~

Next Time in Part 2:

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look, I…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours, and achingly familiar.

⋆˙⟡ Read Part 2 on Patreon now!

⋆˙⟡ Coming to Tumblr/Ao3 on 3/23

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@luci-in-trenchcoats @lamentationsofalonelypotato @winchestergirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373

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@kmc1989 @siampie @rubyvhs @masked-lost-girl @spnbabe67

@deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused @supernotnatural2005

[the-ghost-in-my-dreams]

Going to be doing a review of the blog and check again the findings and anything else I may find that needs corrections. Mostly the sources that messaged me back to back which I don't find suspicious at all wink wink. I played along just to waste time, if I find they lied, I took a screenshot of one of them when he had his picture up on his profile. He took it off and changed his details in his profile right before he messaged me. I would of thought it was genuine if I had not seen him before and also showing up at that time so conveniently. The other guy I'm pretty sure who it is and where he lives exactly. By a park. Usually they try to throw me off the total opposite of what they say so yeah you decide. I was at Blaines house and I saw photos so I don't understand why they are so sloppy. And also I remember his face, let's just say its easy to remember because he's not good looking. He has a big one though and he likes eating ass. Im still going with the fact its old men running the show and dare I say gay gangsters. It's the main reason I think I've been blacklisted. I hate them and I'm not shy about telling them so. They ruin everything fun. Anyways an associate of mine said its just better if I put everything out there as true as I can so at least no one can blame me for not saying anything. Who knows how many guys they have taken advantage of by now. There is a lot of them I don't see on the app anymore and I wonder what happened to them. 🤔😔

[tinandabin]

Papa Muzan and uppermoons

Join my discord!!

( where I found this picture- )

( go to page four in the old category )

↑

Douma had done the same to you in the picture above to assert dominance and also to threaten you. Don't worry, he wouldn't actually drop you there. 

So, whenever you get a bit too excited, sad, happy, anything. A little bit too much of any emotion, and poof! You are a kid now. And how to make you an adult back? The best option is to tire you out yet it doesn't guarantee 100% success. 

BUT ANYWAYS.

So you got too excited over finally being able to get out of this hellhole they call home and bam you are a kid. 

And well, as soon as that happens there's only one goal on your mind. Find papa Muzan. 

And so you jump through the infinity castle forcing those doors to open and falling on your bum a lot of times. And you successfully cause enough noise for a biwa string to ring out!! C:

And then you can see Muzan in his female form holding a kid reader on his hip while barking out instructions for the uppermoons while you are playing with his hands. You also plucked out one of his nails but he didn't care nor did he feel it 

Too strong for his own good.😔

And very sadly for Muzan, he has got some business to attend to which is just taking care of his human family so he very reluctantly drops you in the care of the uppermoons. That has been his biggest regret ever since. Nakime isn't an upper moon currently.

And there you can see Akaza playing with kid reader with the toys Douma made with his blood demon art. <3

And there's daki using her obi to make the toys fly and create a whole ass puppet show for you. 

While Daki sent her dearest brother to go and buy some cute plushies and clothes for you. 

And Kokushibo is using his breathing techniques because those crescent moons really amaze you for some reason. 

And well, Muzan doesn't at all allow Gyokko or Hantengu near you. As a kid that is. He also has absolutely forbidden Nakime to show you her full face, also he allows Kokushibo to only be near you if he only keeps one pair of eyes open. 

And let me tell you one thing, TIRING YOU OUT IS NO EASY TASK.

You aren't a demon for nothing. It takes them weeks to even get you to feel sleepy. 

And guess what? When you feel sleepy you feel all the more determined to not sleep. 

So it's a disaster. 

At first, all of the uppermoons which are allowed near you would team up to tire you out. 

It didn't work. Because if you get bored of one of the things an upper moon is showing you, you just Scooby-Doo the fuck away from them and go to another upper moon. 

And so they decided to take turns. Each one of them would be given a week to make you fall asleep, whoever succeeds can be seen rubbing it in others' faces.

And so first of all we have Douma! 

He takes you to his cult leaving it to his worshippers to tire you out. And well, they are human you are not. So at night, they can be seen sleeping. 

While Douma has eyebags under his eyes. It doesn't matter if he is a demon and doesn't need sleep. You, my dear, have the power to make the uppermoons cry. 

He plays with you LITERALLY every SECOND of the DAY. 

And little do they know you feed on the way they crave sleep- 

Cut that line out. We can't have our top-secret out. 

And well, after his time is over you can see him sulking in a corner in the infinity castle while Akaza is smirking and patting you on the head and telling you how you should make Douma suffer more- 

And then comes Akaza's turn. You can't tell me he isn't good with kids. Don't worry, Douma is too. 

And well, Akaza acts like that overprotective mom.

First of all, he would start by playing with you for 2-3 hours and then take you out for a walk or something. 

And then he would steal some cash and buy you something to eat- 

And then he very reluctantly would let you swim in a lake or something. I mean, you can't blame him. You have drowned once or twice, no biggie.

He would basically let you do whatever the hell you want. 

And then he would ask you if you enjoyed the day and then say that if you go to sleep he promises to let you again do whatever you want tomorrow. 

But well, you were like. If I don't sleep this day won't be over and that means I could do whatever I want forever! 

And Akaza too fails. 

Then comes Daki and Gyutaro's turn. Daki would probably take you to the red-light district and would show you so many things over there and would also become as childish as you so it all depends on Gyutaro now. 

I feel like he would let you do your thing for the first few days but when you don't even fall asleep and he also had dealt with his sister so chances of him making you fall asleep are better than the others. 

He would talk to you about random things and answer all the questions you ask and your throat does NOT feel at all tired from speaking so much but Gyutaro's sure as hell does and so at last they both too fail.

Also, I feel like Gyutaro would tell you creepy horror stories hoping you get scared and sleep.

And then Kokushibo. I bet he would try to bore you out and stuff by telling you very old stories.

He would probably also tell you all about breathing styles and stuff thinking your kid brain won't store this information but sadly for him, your brain does the opposite of what others want. So now you know everything about breathing styles. 

And boring you out is really no option because you ask the most random questions and make it interesting and turn this boring lecture into a strange conversation. 

And so he too fails. 

And there comes Muzan. After a month, they still weren't able to make you fall asleep while you looked ready to conquer the world. 

And well, Muzan has not allowed any one of them to do this, NUH-UH. He also tries to avoid doing this but well, he kinda drugs you into sleeping. But sometimes that shit also doesn't work and so he calls Enmu, lower rank one and orders him to use his blood demon art on you which works.

And after a month you are finally asleep. 

If you squint closely you can see kid reader sleeping on Muzan's chest while he holds them close. <3 

Bonus:

After getting a good rest, Douma sneakily comes into the room Muzan and you are sleeping in and well, he wants his revenge because you stole HIS SLEEP. And so he proceeds to attack you with tickling. 

Next scene you can see kid reader on Akaza's shoulders as he laughs nervously while in the background Douma is getting beaten up by everyone. Nakime included. 

Now wanna know an easy way to make the reader sleep? Only Tamayo knows this.🥰

Just sing Tili Tili Bomb lullaby to the kid reader. 

Honestly, that lullaby is so hauntingly beautiful I love it. 

My friend introduced me to it.

Thanky friend, if you are reading this. 

You can listen to the English version of the lullaby here- https://youtu.be/sTKXk0rJwvA. 

( where I found this picture- )

MASTERLIST

[differentfandomsandthings]

( TBB S2 EPISODE 7 & 8 SPOILERS)

CLONE BAR

Some Clones are not happy about Kamino being destroyed. "All those cities, all those people." Lots of guilt. Questioning Rampart specifically. Everyone thinks a cataclysmic storm destroyed Kamino thanks to Ramparts cover up. Now with the clones out the way Rampart is trying to push a recruitment bill.

New clone names Cade and Slip :D love the beard Slip😌

Cade really texted Rampart and gave him an ultimatum. "You tell the empire or I will!"...yeah that's not going to end well😬😬

Annnd Cades dead..but slip gave them...the slip 😉..sorry..

Was that Crosshair?👀...Nope!

Bail Organa!

CHUCHI!!!!

Old hag of a senators (can't remember her name atm) wants to decommission the rest of the clones because of their accelerated aging 😡🤬 but Chuchi is fighting for them❤ "They are not droids we can just discard! How can we make a new army without a plan in place to take care of our current one!" " How do you know what the clones need? Have you asked? Do they know about their future?" I love Chuchi!! But I have a feeling Rampart might want her out of the way...

Rampart is acting tough but I know he's feeling the pressure. The bill has been put on hold many times. If people start digging and find out what really happened to Kamino its not going to end in his favor.

Chuchi is legit, ok. She went to talk to the clones about what they want. They want to keep fighting but she's like " Yeah I understand but what happens when you get to old for that? Let me help." She really cares about them🥺

Slip tells Chuchi what really happened to Kamino and warns her to be careful.

Annnd Slip is dead 😔

REX!! and he saved Chuchi.

Assassin clone? He calls himself A believer?

End of episode 7

Episode 8

Gonky!!!!

Gungi taught Omega how to meditate but she said it doesn't work for her the way it does for him...but she still likes to do it. Asked Echo if he wants to try.

Echo said he doesn't like being alone because of Skako Minor. Said the bad batch saved him.

Omega: Is that why you joined?

Echo: It Was were I Was needed at the time....Echo PLEASE DONT LEAVE THE SQUAD 😭😭

I liked that he opened up about his pass to Omega a little though.

Bad batch meet up with Rex and Chuchi. They are going try and get the data from Ramparts ship. They are going to split up, Omega is going to go with Chuchi to the senate.

Let's get to work >:(

Lol Omega mean mugging Rampart 😠...and did Rampart not recognize Omega?...Did he meet Omega in season 1?

Omega: Where is the clone Senator? We're part of the galaxy too :(

Senator Burtoni...she don't give AF about Kamino or the Kaminoans or so she says.

That pissed Omega off. Just spilled the beans on her being a clone and being on Kamino when it was destroyed

Chuchi is really fighting for the clones and trying to get proof. It makes me sad knowing it's all going to be in vain😔

Once again..Echo PLEASE DONT LEAVE THE SQUAD 😭😭

✨️stealth✨️

Holy crap they actually got the evidence! Poor Omega has to watch that again though😔

Palpatine 😡

They threw Rampart under the bus!! Like yeah he did it aresst him!🤣🤣 I was not expecting that🤣...is Rampart out of the picture? Like for good? Can't be. Definitely not.

Palpatine blames the clones as well for follow Ramparts orders without hesitation. This gives him an excuse to pass the bill and make clones obsolete. Making way for stormtroopers.

The music! The music!

Everyone played right into his hands again!

Omega learned a lesson again. Just because you tell the truth doesn't mean the consequences are always good.

Echo: The fate of all clones are now sealed because of us!

ECHO IS LEAVING!! I knew it! They have been hinting at it this whole time but nooooo!!!😭😭😭

Omega: you can't leave! We're a squad a family🥺

Echo: I'm going where I'm needed

Omega: we need you too😭

Echo: it's not forever. Keep up with your training

Omega:HUG..yes sir🥰🥰😭😭

The music! The music!

The end scene with Omega hugging lula alone I'm crying man 🥺😭

The batch took Echo leaving in stride but I have a feeling Omega is really going to take Echo’s absence hard and I wonder how the rest of the batch will handle it. Maybe that's why she's going to tell Tech "We're more than that, we're a family."

I know they're going to reunite with Echo at some point because of the leaked screen shot of her hugging Echo again. I just wonder how long they are going to be separated for🤔 🥲

10/10 episode even though it ended on a sad note. At least no one died. None of the main cast at least.

[luescris]

Just wanted to say some things!:

First of all; I wanted to ask, if you have seen/seen anything about the new Season 4 Special that just came out! I think it came out the same day as the new TMNT MM trailer too. Man, what a day. I slept most of that day, and woke up to the LMK and TMNT fandoms freaking out (and me freaking out w/ them too!) What a thing to wake up to. If you have seen and/or seen anything about the new LMK S4 special, then what did you think about it?

I loved what I have seen of it so far, and what I have seen being posted about it; so far! There has been a couple more mixed posts I have come across, but most people seem to be having loving it (and breaking apart over it; due to what happened in it), so that is cool!

I remember seeing a LMK poll about what Season, plus their Special was their favorite, and while I love all the seasons and Specials, I ended up going w/ S3 and it's Special (just that whole season, man. That, and LBD and Not-Mayor were such good build-up villains/villains man. And so many other reasons too), but Season 4 was a close 2nd for me (S3 and S4 were the closest in that poll), now that the S4 Special is out now, man, I don't know anymore. I think S3 and it's Special is still my top favorite, but idk, S4 and it's Special could top it for me, or being tying with it. It is either one of those two things, or a close 2nd for me.

What about you ? What is your LMK favorite season and special; if you have any? I know it can be hard to pick, because all the seasons and specials are good imo.

Also, ty for being a SWK apologist. He has defin. made his mistakes, but he is trying to make up for them; he does so much to make up for them and to protect the people he cares about. Can he be too secretive (and him being secretive is some part in due to more deeper parts of his past being hard to talk about and because he took a lot of responsbilty on himself. Thinking it is his responsibility to fix things and protect everyone imo), and has he made mistakes both in the past and present (though everyone has made mistakes)? Sure. But like I said, he tries to make up for them, and he really does try to more permantently deal with problems (which, people can debate if that is too final/much or not if they want), but he either gets stopped from doing so, or they somehow sometimes come back.

He and Mac and some of his friends have had mistakes with each other. But honestly; they all have. And SWK is making amends/starting to make amends for his own. And now; S4 Spoilers:

It looks like him and Mac are going to start to heal and make amends w/ each other, so that is very nice/cool! ^^

End of Spoilers. (I don't want to get too much more into S4 Special Spoilers, in case you haven't seen it/seen much about it yet).

Anyways, thanks for being a SWK apologist. I love him and his character too! He is one of my favs. in LMK. MK is another one of my favs., such a great and interesting character and mc/protagonist. I have more, but I don't want to ramble all day about LMK here, so I will just stop with these two.

I love ur Pfp and Tumblr Banner picture.

I got more to say, but I will save that for another Ask, since this getting long, and this is a more LMK-focused Ask, and the next one(s) will probably be more TMNT-based.

Ask 1/?.

Alright, here we go. *Rubs hands together*/lh

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry this response is so late, but now that I've seen both LMK and the Spiderverse movie (I think that's mentioned BSBSBS), I think now would be an appropriate time to respond to your ask! :D I'm gonna put a read more thing after this paragraph just in case people don't wanna read all that I gotta say lmao 😂

Next I want to say thank you for sending me an ask!! :D I don't know if you have seen what I posted, but I am unfortunately not as into LMK as much as I once was, and the turtles are to blame for that 😔😅 Though I will still watch it!! How could I not, it's still the best thing I've ever seen in my life!! This season's special was. Whoo boy. I don't even know where to begin

Azure really did just want to help people. He really did want to make the world a better place, and the way he sacrificed himself while having tears in his eyes I just-- 😭😭😭😭

I don't know if I have any favorite seasons or episodes in particular, honestly! :0 Like I said it's all so good, though before I think I would've said any and all episodes that have Wukong angst in them LMAO 😂

Speaking of him though, I agree with you!!! I think he's got a long way to go with learning how to do. Well, a lot, but it certainly doesn't make him bad, nor did it ever

Do you think he was so against Azure because he knew what it was like to try to search for power, and already knew the concequences?? O: Or something like that I don't know if I'm explaining my thoughts right right now haha 😅

And YESSSSS I'm so excited to see how they're relationship grows in the future!! :D I myself think that they consider themselves brothers instead of lovers, so I'm really looking forward to what happens with them! ^3^

Please ask all the questions you'd like!! I can't promise you I'll get to them quick, but I will get to them eventually, lmao 😂😅

Thanks, see you again!!! :D

[nightmarewritings]

Thoughts on Rob Zombies Halloween remake as it's watched (spoilers!)

Also, theres like, swearing and I thirst a lot.

very hard to get past the first 3-4 minutes, took me legit 5 tries because I couldn't stand Myers family. 😔

Grown Michael HOT. 🥵🔥Really digging that orange mask.

Don't wanna sound like a monster but it's been really hard to care about these deaths except like Danny Trejos. Like dang, these are some EVIL rednecks!

Dr. Loomis HOT, glad they took advantage of Malcolm McDowell's beautiful blue eyes for closeups.

You really can't go wrong with Ken Foree, can you? He's hilarious in this.

oh he's dead.

Not really liking this Laurie so far, but I've only seen like a minute of her so there's plenty of time to turn it around. she looks younger than Jamie Lee Curtis did in the original, but from what I've seen of yearbooks people just looked older back then for some reason.

The armless skeleton decoration cracked me up

Rob Zombie is really good at writing young kids, Tommy and young Michael both sounded a lot like how real kids talk. Dude has missed his true calling writing a kids show.

not gonna lie, I know he needed the iconic mask but I sure wouldn't have minded if he wore that orange one more.

DANIELLE HARRIS? OH HELL YEAH!

I want a spin-off of Udo Kier, Clint Howard, and Malcolm McDowell just chewing the scenery together.

Lmao I love Laurie and her friends talking shit to Michael, that was funny.

Always kinda lowkey thought Brad Dourif was hot. I blame One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.

I love Lauries coat. I want it.

That skeleton figure continues to delight.

Loving all these cameos!

One thing I love about Rob Zombie movies is the dude legit has great taste in music and a good eye for interesting aesthetic. This movie really nails the autumn feel.

Oh shit one of the jump scares got me!

Idk what it is about this Michael Myers but I wanna lick that dirty mask (and then die from my latex allergy).

Tommy Doyle has some damn good skeleton makeup, kid looks badass!

Every scene with Loomis is a treasure

Brad Douriff too, these dudes are KILLIN IT!

The Strode's answering machine message is charmingly dorky.

That's a really weird way to deal with finding a baby at a crime scene isn't it? I don't know, I'm not a cop.

Rob Zombie is really good at making tense scenes.

MICHAEL MYERS BUSTIN THROUGH

Michael carrying Laurie like that got me like “god I wish that was me”. I really shouldn’t watch slasher movies while thirsty.

Aw this part where he’s showing Laurie the photo is kinda sweet.

Man I just want one movie where the final girl joins the villain and it isn’t really gross and cheesy like in Texas Chainsaw 3D.

Oh she stabbed him. I get he’s evil but dang girl, dude was opening up to ya. Didn’t have to open him up too lol pretty badass tho, can’t lie.

How’d he fit all that hair under his mask anyway? Makes me wanna buy one and see how much hair I could fit in it, but the latex would fuck me up.

Myers family had a really nice pool.

I want to cuddle up close to Loomis too while he tells me it’s alright.

OH JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL- lmao Loomis that’s such a weird thing to say there

Laurie is REALLY good at hiding. Like dang girl you need to enter competitive hide and seek or something.

Michael’s big and hot but ngl I kinda want Laurie to shoot him at least once because I don’t like how he’s just smashing up this house. I don’t care if it’s old and falling apart anyway, you’re ruining the aesthetic.

Just pictured Billy Lenz falling out of the attic on Michael and laughed so hard I snorted.

Man this Laurie went through HELL, like all Lauries have but her face looks ROUGH, like I can barely see it through the blood. Real badass though!

Not a big fan of the ending, too abrupt, but overall it’s MUCH better than I thought it’d be, once it got going it REALLY got going. Plus I want big giant like 6’7” Michael to stomp on my 5’ self. Not my favorite horror remake, but it’s certainly not the worst and not nearly as bad as I used to guess. Overall, very glad I watched it!

[baekhvuns]

Omg I forgot to answer earlier 🤡

I don't know enough NCT bsides to form an opinion, maaaaaaybeeeee I'll listen to them one day. I listened to a few from the latest NCT U album, I think I like U's titles the most. I like Next Level much more than Savage, both songs have cool parts like I said they just don't always work together well and I like Savage more when I listen to it on speakers not headphones, lmaooo. But I liked their debut a lot, Black Mamba made me intrigued but then uhmm... did you hear their pre-released track? The song is pretty good but the beginning with yummy and tummy and all the slurping???!!! I'm UNCOMFORTABLE

Someone had a MILF sign at Woosung's concert!? It was great, but the show was so short like only an hour, but he came to my city so I didn't mind

About dark concepts, give me some dark angels, wings etc. Dreamcatcher and Pixy are doing great with the witchy and creepy stuff, now that would make those antis properly scared lolol. And judging by Black Cat Nero Ateez can deliver disturbing shit! I wouldn't mind them going more emo than hard-hitting EDM, but if they do I wanna hear rock or pop punk, something in the style of TXT's releases from last year, because the songs were still hype.

Yeah even my feet hurt during period it's awful. AK... why my first thought was about AK (Kalashnikov) idydisjdhhshs that one would help for sure 😭😭😭😭 for some reason I can't read smut while on my period, because the mood is just not there you know? Like I'm suffering and can't think about sex stuff, because I want my uterus G O N E

Rip, you could've had your Y/N moment 😔 Imo we should we able to hibernate during winter

Well sorry to Y/N's dad but it is what it is, you hired a bodyguard for your daughter and his guarding her body every night 🤗

Accidental murder framing 🤔 I like it but I don't like it...🧍🏼‍♀️

Yes bad girl x bad boy aka the worst people together - the worst in a bastardy way not literally toxic and awful, just dumb sad kids with issues. I can definitely see them in a prestigious school, even uni and everyone's like WHY ARE YOU THERE because they do not study and fail everything lmaoo, but rich parents and parental issues. <3 it would work in a regular school too, but this idea is more angsty because instead of being awful but popular, they could both be outcasts with problems 😩

NOT LIKE A BEAST 😭 because I picture them transforming into the Beat from Beauty and the Beast or some shit 🔫🔫🔫🔫 I know people are into monster-fucking but let's not go there!

Seonghwa's father simp vibes, from the phone conversations and letters I saw from his mum she sounds as sweet as Hwa. But I think my favourite Ateez mother is Wooyoung's, that lady is T I R E D and so funny 😆 I mean she has 3 sons I can't blame her

Imagine if Kboo was like a "proper" newspaper we would come to work, sit at our little cubicle work stations and write about Seonghwa every day 🤡 what a job. I once had an internship at Metro one of UK's trashu newspaper - dark times but I had no choice - and worked as a beta

I didn't wake up specifically for Hwa's live, but I stayed awake for him, hsysiwhdjahaysyqq. I wonder if he would be the same if there weren't thousands of people watching him, we know he can get frustrated and start throwing stuff. He still does that in tiny. But what a saint with great patience, ahhahaha.

ASMR Hwa is good boy x bad girl for sure. Imagine him being the top student, then a new student Y/N arrives and he's like 😍😍😍 I CAN FIX HER, but he would act "tough" to make an impression and fail miserably

I don't know Baek, first try to win over miss Tiny then we can see how it goes... I can't believe I called Seonghwa my son, please let's move on!!!

NERD HWA WHEN YOU ASK? NERD HWA WHEN I ASK?!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CeTWiErt7Kf/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 😩❤

- DV 💖

hi hello!!

I don't know enough NCT bsides to form an opinion, maaaaaaybeeeee I'll listen to them one day. I listened to a few from the latest NCT U album, I think I like U's titles the most. I like Next Level much more than Savage, both songs have cool parts like I said they just don't always work together well and I like Savage more when I listen to it on speakers not headphones, lmaooo. But I liked their debut a lot, Black Mamba made me intrigued but then uhmm... did you hear their pre-released track? The song is pretty good but the beginning with yummy and tummy and all the slurping???!!! I'm UNCOMFORTABLE

nct u has some rly good songs! dream also does beat box is rly good but main 127 one are usually a hit or miss for me 😭😭 i rec rainbow by nct dream and magic carpet ride by nct127 so good the nice r&b <33 YEAH DEF NEXT LEVEL WAS A BOP I BE DOING THE DANCE EVERY TWO SECS okay omg black mamba was a lit debut it was debuted when everyone was doing the same things and aespa just shifted it entirely I DID YES THE YUMMY THREW ME OFF BUT THE SONG IS GOOD IM JUST FBWNFH NOT GONNA LISTEN TO IT

Someone had a MILF sign at Woosung's concert!? It was great, but the show was so short like only an hour, but he came to my city so I didn't mind

HRKWHDKWHDWK NO WAY GOTTA GO TO HIS CONCERTS 😭😭 also svt concert, one ticket. $700. one of my friends went to the olivia rodrigo concert here and it was right after the grammy’s and someone had the sign “did v (bts) smell good? <3 <3” SHE NEVER RESPONDED

About dark concepts, give me some dark angels, wings etc. Dreamcatcher and Pixy are doing great with the witchy and creepy stuff, now that would make those antis properly scared lolol. And judging by Black Cat Nero Ateez can deliver disturbing shit! I wouldn't mind them going more emo than hard-hitting EDM, but if they do I wanna hear rock or pop punk, something in the style of TXT's releases from last year, because the songs were still hype.

yes yes give uS THE CULT DO IT GO SO DARK THAT WE CANT BREATHE and pls if the lyrics are like dissing antis >>>>> EXACTLY THEY CAN ABSOLUTELY BEGGING FOR THEM TO DO IT WITH THE CREEPY ASS MUSIC TONE 😮‍💨😩 omg yes txt does some of the best rock in kpop truly so so good !!!!

Yeah even my feet hurt during period it's awful. AK... why my first thought was about AK (Kalashnikov) idydisjdhhshs that one would help for sure 😭😭😭😭 for some reason I can't read smut while on my period, because the mood is just not there you know? Like I'm suffering and can't think about sex stuff, because I want my uterus G O N E

NO WAY???? BESTIE ARE U GOOD DID U GET IT??? 😭😭😭🤚🏼 NO I GET IT SMUT IS THE LAST THING I THINK OF but when its near the end of the cycle im suddenly reading every single one fbsndbd

Rip, you could've had your Y/N moment 😔 Imo we should we able to hibernate during winter

I COULDVE 😭😭😭 SOME RICH SENIOR COULDVE HELPED ME UP 😭😭😭 we absolutely should, we are bears.

Well sorry to Y/N's dad but it is what it is, you hired a bodyguard for your daughter and his guarding her body every night 🤗

THE WAY I SCREAMED AND LAUGHED MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN AND ALL FHWKFJQKDHWKDBWM so true, his absolute fault to put hwa as her guard, absolutely his fault if she starts to like him <33 BFWNBDK its rly crazy writing it bc the tension they have is insane, he cannot absolutely do ANYTHING but she’s like “why are u scared bro go for it!!”

Accidental murder framing 🤔 I like it but I don't like it...🧍🏼‍♀️

Yes bad girl x bad boy aka the worst people together - the worst in a bastardy way not literally toxic and awful, just dumb sad kids with issues. I can definitely see them in a prestigious school, even uni and everyone's like WHY ARE YOU THERE because they do not study and fail everything lmaoo, but rich parents and parental issues. <3 it would work in a regular school too, but this idea is more angsty because instead of being awful but popular, they could both be outcasts with problems 😩

GIRL U KNOW WHAT I WILL WRITE IT IM RLY AN INTRIGUED BY IT !!! a prestigious school and they’re the outcasts from rich families who expect way to much from them but don’t know what their kids do at school,,, “why tf are u at my hiding place” “you’re at mine” “did u fail again? lol” “didn’t you get a 2/10?” absolutely this, i will absolutely write this. yes yes.

NOT LIKE A BEAST 😭 because I picture them transforming into the Beat from Beauty and the Beast or some shit 🔫🔫🔫🔫 I know people are into monster-fucking but let's not go there!

LMFAOOOO BRKWDHWK THE BEAST ALWAYS MAKES ME WANNA SCREAM NAURRR FURRY KINK 😭😭😭 YEAH LETS NOT GO THERE

Seonghwa's father simp vibes, from the phone conversations and letters I saw from his mum she sounds as sweet as Hwa. But I think my favourite Ateez mother is Wooyoung's, that lady is T I R E D and so funny 😆 I mean she has 3 sons I can't blame her

absolutely his father is seonghwa’s idol in romance absolutely omg SHE RLY DOES 😭😭 she seems like she makes those cute little things and doodles and what not and thats where hwa gets it from 😭😭 LMFAOOOO MISS EUNKYUNG BESTIE IS TIRED 3 BOYS AND A HUSBAND GIRLIE WOULD BE SO MF HAPPY WHEN HER KIDS GET MARRIED SO A GIRL COMES IN THE HOUSE 😭😭😭😭 woo and kyungmin def the problem child <3 their house must’ve been so chaotic raising them

Imagine if Kboo was like a "proper" newspaper we would come to work, sit at our little cubicle work stations and write about Seonghwa every day 🤡 what a job. I once had an internship at Metro one of UK's trashu newspaper - dark times but I had no choice - and worked as a beta

u have the coolest jobs ever?????? omg??? NO FR ID COME TO WORK EVERYDAY IF IVE TO WRITE FOR HWA ANYDAY

I didn't wake up specifically for Hwa's live, but I stayed awake for him, hsysiwhdjahaysyqq. I wonder if he would be the same if there weren't thousands of people watching him, we know he can get frustrated and start throwing stuff. He still does that in tiny. But what a saint with great patience, ahhahaha.

“stayed awake for him” the shinestar dedication 😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO OH ABSOLUTELY I JUST WANNA SEE HIM LOOSE HIS SHIT COMPLETELY like when he yelled @ hongjoong to “stop it!” in the thanxx concept photos 😩😩😮‍💨

ASMR Hwa is good boy x bad girl for sure. Imagine him being the top student, then a new student Y/N arrives and he's like 😍😍😍 I CAN FIX HER, but he would act "tough" to make an impression and fail miserably

YES ABSOLUTELY !!!! I CAN FIX HER FBWMFJWKB HE’S THE PICK ME FOR HER stop i will write this, he’s to tour her around while she does not rly care but she finds herself caring in the little things he does AND WHEN HE GETS BULLIED (??) IF HE DOES THE WAY SHE WOULD FIGHT HANDS ON ITS ON-SITE and then he patches her wounds ☺️

I don't know Baek, first try to win over miss Tiny then we can see how it goes... I can't believe I called Seonghwa my son, please let's move on!!!

LMFAOOOO SWEET HOME ALABAMA ANON???? WITH UR SON???? BFNWBDKW

NERD HWA WHEN YOU ASK? NERD HWA WHEN I ASK?! https://www.instagram.com/p/CeTWiErt7Kf/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 😩❤

gOD 😭😭😭 WHEN IS IT OUR TURN TO BE HAPPY AND BE WITH HIM 😭🤚🏼🔫 HE LOOKS SO SOFT AND DOMESTIC 😭😭

also,,

i also found a new manhwa and have to share the main lead.

😀😀🙂

[lilac-and-cherry]

I’m starting to believe my husband has anger issues. I had trouble seeing that before, because he doesn’t yell like my parents did. I thought anger issues always = yelling and/or raised voices. As I type this I’m starting to realize my parents probably had anger issues … yikes no wonder I’m so sensitive to anger. I’m also starting to believe I “fawn” as a trauma response. I only learned this term recently and it fits me almost perfectly.

So yesterday. Husband suddenly switched into “I’m angry about son struggling with hiragana” mode again. He’s switched into anger mode over son’s Japanese ability for years now, I’m emotionally broken and exhausted over it. Especially since he indirectly blames me because I’m teaching son English, sometimes he says it flat out when he’s angry enough.

So we had our family bath time/shower time as usual yesterday. Husband was being short with son, which I don’t like, but I tried to let it go. I’m trying really hard not to tell husband how to parent. You know? He was trying to get son to cooperate in the tub and let him wash him. Son wanted to try by himself - great! He needs to learn. Husband kept correcting him, son gave up and asked me to help. I kept thinking … why be so critical of a 5 year old learning to wash himself? No wonder son gave up, he was worried he was making his papa angry. So husband started washing son again, and said something in Japanese I didn’t understand.

Then he flicked the swimming goggles son was wearing! Hard and loud too, it startled me. I finally jumped in, that seemed too physical to me. I guess he was telling son to take off his goggles and son wasn’t listening? But I already washed son’s hair and face, why was it such an issue? All that was left was the neck down to wash.

It was giving me bad feelings from the past when husband was getting angry at me being sad/shocked, I held my hands to my chest and did some deep breathing to calm down. Husband got angry, jumped from the tub and left the shower. I said “papa …” and he closed the door.

I tried my best to comfort son. I wanted him to know he was safe and loved. That he’s a good boy and he did nothing wrong. He was worried about playing with his swimming goggles again, I assumed him it was fine and put them back on his head for him. Luckily he took it well after a minute and was back to playing and diving in the tub, but he did talk a little about his papa being angry. His English isn’t fluent yet, but he said something about … ripping a picture of his papa? I hope I misheard that, but it was shocking to hear. I do he imagines things though, like he was punching himself in the head, implying his papa did or would do that. I’ve never seen husband do that. I want to believe my son, but I have to be careful because I know he can exasperate stories with a lot of embellish since he’s only 5. He’s also started his lying phase for the first time. However, I am taking it as a sign there is a problem, to be careful and mindful, watch how he behaves around his papa, etc. As long as he’s back to snuggling and playing with his papa I’ll just keep it bookmarked to watch out for later. It’s tough with little kids … I would usually never hesitate for a second to validate his experiences. 100% if I see them for myself.

So the chat after bath time didn’t go great … husband said something in Japanese under his breath and I had to ask like 3 times what he said. He finally admitted he said he was wondering if a Japanese woman would understand him better. This isn’t the first time he said this hurtful thing to me. 😔 Overall the problem is he thinks I’m too sweet on son, and he doesn’t see how his anger issues are scaring son from trying to write hiragana. He then gets angry at son for not just doing what he’s told. He’s 5. My husband has never (to my knowledge) spent time with 5 year olds. I have for over a decade at work, teaching English. And they’re local Japanese kids, since that matters to my husband.

I was on the break of crying over this. I told him I can’t handle him getting angry like this over and over. He reminded me he scheduled a counseling session this month. I said great! Of course, I’m so happy about that. And secretly worried he will cancel at the last minute as he often does, but I didn’t say that. I asked if he could please talk about his anger issues, he said he would (gosh I hope he will) but apparently what he REALLY wants to talk about is his son watches iPad and plays video games all the time and doesn’t study, and if that’s his fault. What?!? I said, that’s our job as parents, son is 5. 5! 5 year olds never think “wow I’ve been playing a lot of video games, I should study.” - even junior high kids can’t do that sometimes! I told husband he needs to set a plan, like a routine, of his expectations with son and enforce it. Son’s not going to do all that himself, that’s our job. That’s why kids need parents.

That said, I’ve wanted to start daily hiragana practice with son… but I’ve hesitated because husband kept getting angry and son was giving up as a result. I told husband I did some hiragana practice alone with son recently. At first he was scared, naturally. But I let him take the lead and not only did he do a little, he wanted to do more. Husband seemed … neutral or surprised, I’m not sure. I started begging him to give me a chance, and let me decide how we do hiragana drills with son. Because I had no issue getting him to do it. I warned him it would be hard at first because son it scared of doing it with him, but if we go slow, I’m sure I can get things better. Husband agreed. I hope he does when the time comes. A 5 year old can only handle so much erasing and feeling like he can’t do something he’s just super new to. *sigh*

I want to believe once son is fluent in Japanese things will calm down. But now, as I type this, I don’t think so anymore. What about when he starts getting homework? Bad test scores? Bullies at school? All these future problems and all parents face when sending their kids to school. How is husband going to deal with all that? Probably with the same anger.

I’ll have to deal with sons problems… AND my husbands anger. That’s just, too much. 😭