#he is smart and kind and self-sacrificing on so many levels

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hello, Matchmaker! I hope your day is going well.

I can't use an emoji for this as you requested (laptop), so I hope you don't mind me introducing myself as Raven. I am a 29 year old female, she/her, romantically interested in men. I tend to find men who are smart, loyal, kind, mature and generally calm/level-headed the most attractive. Overly aggressive, arrogant, manipulative and smoking are deal-breakers for me.

As for myself, I am a calm, easy-going person who has a deep passion for singing, making art (including culinary), and spending time with my cats. I tend to think somewhat literally at times, and I can be fairly logical, clever and I can pick up patterns fairly easily. I am not very strong physically, but I like to think of myself as almost phoenix-like after enduring many years of neglect, abuse and multiple illnesses; I've risen from the ashes again and again.

My hopes for a romantic match are someone who is loyal and protective, understanding and patient, but not overly smothering. Due to my past experiences, I've been told I can come across as aloof or seemingly uninterested, but I think it's more that I'm guarded. Confrontations and serious arguments with a lot of yelling can cause panic attacks for me. Anger is a very rare emotion for me to express.

I hope this information is enough to work with, and not too overwhelming, and I thank you sincerely for your time and consideration.

-Raven

Hiya Raven! ^^

No worries, no worries, with the emoji ^^ This works just fine

I thought about this for a while, but in the end I match you up on a blind date with...

Morgen Faust

Morgen Faust is the younger twin brother of (the punk) Nacht Faust, and is not only a kind, protective to the point of self-sacrificing, capable young knight and a noble man. Though his family dabbled in the occult, Morgen was more a "traditional" gentleman, and differed from the rest of his family; the odd one out. So, he'd understand how it can feel, to be so alien to the rest of your family.

He is always trying to help those around him, and does so with a smile on his face, because he wants to bring joy and comfort to those around him. And he values the ties he has made greatly, whether they're formed by blood or by other means in life.

He also had to assume a lot of the noble responsibilities in life due to Nacht being a more of a punk, and a rebel, who didn't care about such formalities. Thus, Morgen had to grow early on, and became very mature for his age, and excelled in his studies.

In the eyes of the public, he was the pride and joy of the House of Faust.

But he is guarded about some things, since he does learn about the heritage of his family; their craft, which he needs to keep secret. Because he doesn't wish ill to those he cares about. So, he's in a state of being caught in between wanting to do good for those around you, while holding a secret about his family.

He's the apple that fell far from the tree, who's just trying to upkeep peace and happiness. He's genuinely a good-doer

[cptn-m]

One Piece 1097 Review

Back on three chapters in a row! I was starting to lose hope, so even this chapter's short length can't take the shine off this win. Ginny has to win some kind of award for being the chapter that took the shortest amount of time between being introduced and appearing on a chapter cover. Excepting maybe Luffy and Zoro at the very start of the series. It's also rare for a chapter cover not featuring the Strawhats to feel so closely connected to the content of the chapter. The last time I remember feeling that was that one time Perona showed up right at the time she made her first appearance in years for one of the Wano interludes.

The start of this chapter spends a long time building our sympathy for Kuma. We've known for a while that he would be a tragic figure, and the noble goals he expressed in a desperate situation last week made us like him, but here, seeing him take on one of the series' greatest acts of self-sacrifice again and again we really get what a good and likable person Kuma has grown to be. There's some fun lore for his fruit here as well, learning that removed suffering would eventually return to its owner. I guess it works differently for his own removed memories though. I think this development also makes it completely clear that Kuma has ended up the way he is in the present as a means of taking on a huge burden for someone else in exactly the same way. The remaining questions are 'who?' and what circumstances resulted in sacrificing his mind being the only way to save them.

Despite the obvious-seeming build-up that Kuma and Ginny's relationship will be the heart of this flashback and her inevitable death will be its climactic moment of heartbreak, Oda leans away from the romance between the pair, with a timejump and a marriage proposal, and a level of ambiguity about whether they're actually intimately involved at this point at all. Romance has never been Oda's strong suit so it's probably smart of him to emphasise the dramatic and desperate circumstances and mutual moral outrage about the state of the world that brought them together instead.

And we go a long time without Bonney here. Maybe those theories about her being mentally and chronologically a child have some weight after all. At minimum she's younger than she appears, barring a massive misdirect.

The next sequence, at 22 years ago, is peak World Government politics. Money at the heart of it all, loopholes for the ultra-rich to save themselves (or at least their wallets) and the denial of human rights all the way through. No accountability or oversight, no compassion for the common man. No wonder the world needs Revolutionaries.

And that's exactly who arrives! The drip feed of Dragon info continues with the revelation that he used to be a Marine. I'd love to see any kind of interaction between him and Garp, knowing this. There must be so many complicated feelings between the two of them. And Dragon is 100% in the right. We can see in this very chapter what the Marines defend. There is no justice there.

What surprises me is how much time we're spending away from Sorbet Kingdom. Some are lamenting the idea that Kuma's 'Tyrant' epithet is just a grandiose name, but we know outright that Kuma is recognised by the public as a ruler of the kingdom. But how (and why) does he become a king after joining up with the Revolutionaries. Does taking the position relate to whatever deal he cut that ended in his cyborg state, or did he seize the country and declare its independence to use as a Revolutionary base and solve their supply issues? Maybe not, considering they're already using Baltigo at this point in the flashback and will remain there until (almost) the present day.

The final page of the chapter, kind of like the escape from God Valley last week, really rush ahead. It's a shame not to see more of what the Revolutionaries got up to in the eight years between scenes, but as with God Valley, this is Kuma's flashback not Dragon's, and there'll be time for the important bits of that later. Still sucks to jump around so suddenly, and to feel like we're ending the chapter mid-scene. I'm glad it's not a break week, because it would well and truly suck to not know what happened to Ginny and have the last panel focus on Dragon's reaction to her predicament instead of Kuma's. Sure, it's a common Oda move to reveal something shocking out of nowhere then flashback to show how it happened, but the pacing of this one feels off. I imagine the next chapter will save it though, with the flashback and Kuma emotional beats the story needs, and when it comes to the volume read the gap between reveal and explanation should be barely noticeable.

My assumption is that Ginny's captivity will be the beginning of the end of this flashback. It seems primed to involve Kuma with the Government and manipulate him into being branded a tyrant and giving up his sense of self. This was something of a transitional week, but the next one should be a big pick up. Looking forward to it.

Old reviews and more on my Wordpress.

[writersmorgue]

Okay okay okay- the thing about Aizawa saying Midoriya had no excuse to not have his quirk under control, assuming he's had it since he was young. Consider:

- it takes two months for a bone to heal

- We haven't seen anyone besides Recover Girl and Eri with a significant healing quirk, even in the many times characters in the show have visited hospitals

- Repeatedly breaking bones and any furniture/buildings/people nearby any time you made a mistake would be extremely mentally traumatic and lead to avoidance, no matter how brave or stubborn you may be

- Quirk counselors, to my knowledge, have not been mentioned in the show. If they exist, it can be assumed they are expensive and/or have waiting lists years long. This can be assumed because of the rising instability of quirks first mentioned in S4, among other, more disputable but likely factors.

- His quirk is fundamentally different from his parents', meaning their ability to help would be limited. Aizawa had no way of knowing this, and it is standard for a child's quirk to be a combination or mutated copy of a parent's quirk, but it is by no means impossible or even terribly uncommon for a quirk to be a unique mutation (as is evidenced by the birth of quirks itself)

All together, this means that Midoriya would a) be unable to practice regularly, making his education tremendously slow, difficult, and flimsy. b) be scared of his quirk. And c) have very little guidance to aid his learning.

So why /wouldn't/ Midoriya want to wait until he had access to a safe, controlled environment with teachers who were supposed to be able to help and a medic who could heal him in just a couple days? Wouldn't waiting be the wiser option?

Aizawa is smart. He should be able to see this. That, combined with the fact that he didn't go after the others with obvious problems (Todoroki for literally only using half his power, Bakugou for attempting to use his quirk to bodily harm another student, Mineta for being Like That), leads me to believe he was being antagonistic for different reasons. Maybe it was the same kind of bias Shinsou has, something relating to Oboro, or something else.

Regardless, as a teacher, he should have done better. Especially after he gets to know Midoriya and learns that Midoriya isn't lazy, unmotivated, arrogant, or anything like that. But he still neglected to help in a meaningful way.

Don't get me wrong; I like Aizawa. A lot. But I really do think he messed up, and never really made up for it. He's lucky Midoriya has never believed in fairness, or else I don't think they'd have ever reached the level of fondness and respect present later in canon.

Sorry for ranting. This has just been bugging me for a long time, and I jumped at the chance to get it out of my head a bit.

"So why /wouldn't/ Midoriya want to wait until he had access to a safe, controlled environment with teachers who were supposed to be able to help and a medic who could heal him in just a couple days? Wouldn't waiting be the wiser option?"

"Regardless, as a teacher, he should have done better. Especially after he gets to know Midoriya and learns that Midoriya isn't lazy, unmotivated, arrogant, or anything like that. But he still neglected to help in a meaningful way."

The way that we have the same brain. I couldn't find the words but somehow you managed to summarize all the shit going on in my head. omfg, this is perfect. Like he totally has the sense to realize shit and act accordingly but for some reason (srsly what??) he doesn't? Maybe something to do with his past, maybe he's just so fucking tired, maybe he doesn't want to see his students hurt Like That anymore and he's willing to risk their future to prevent it. I do think he sees Oboro in Izuku, the same drive, and passion. The same reckless/self-sacrificing tendencies. Aizawa is a great teacher and a great hero but i think he got a little personal with Izuku's case

[lunarfly]

Ok so I decided to finally post the promised: defending Romione (🥺💗💕💖💞💘) against Dr*mione (ಠಿ_ಠ) shippers.

So I've read a few posts about Dr*mione shippers, talking about why their ship is amazing (which had nothing to do with canon btw) and bashing Ron (for no reason) and I'm literally shaking out of anger.

Here are my thoughts:

1. "Ron is too dumb for hermione"

Stop- Just-

Stop.

RON IS NOT DUMB.

Yes, he might not be very interested in school subjects, but 👏 that 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 he 👏 is 👏 dumb 👏.

He is actually very smart! He beat McGonagall's chess game, he is logical and quick-thinking. There's MANY examples of this that I won't name right now, but it's a canonical fact. Ron. Is. Not. Dumb.

And consider he was dumb. So? Would that stop Romione from happening? NO! Hermione didn't mind Ron not being smart. She was just upset that Ron was lazy and wouldn't study anything until the last minute. She wanted to get both Harry and Ron to study according to a schedule.

Is it clear? Intelligence doesn't determine love.

**And this is something that confuses me. This doesn't have anything to do with the point, but why does nobody realize that Harry isn't much smarter than Ron? Yes, he was better at DADA but that requires TALENT, not intelligence. And I'm pretty sure we all know that Ron is talented as well (hopefully everyone realizes that). Nobody uses the fact that Harry wasn't intelligent against Harmione, but everyone uses the fact that Ron wasn't intelligent against Romione. The double standards tear apart the fandom.

2. "Ron bought hermione perfume and Draco could get her something better."

Soooo, you're saying that just because Ron didn't have the money that Draco had means that Hermione didn't deserve Ron?

Wow, this just says a lot about you dr*mione shippers. You only care about the money that Draco has, not his personality. You don't like Ron because he's poor (and I know how FanFics give the "kind Draco" Ron's canon personality so the only "problem" with Ron is his looks and lack of money). And you don't see Hermione nor Ron the way they are. This "point" of yours is literally stating that Hermione should be a gold-digger and get Draco because he can get her the expensive presents that she deserves. Yikes.

3. "Draco can understand the emotional side of Hermione while Ron can't."

Wait

What?

WHERE DO YOU GET THIS IDEA FROM-

Draco is only EVER concerned about his own self, he is a NARCISSIST. He would NEVER care for someone (let alone Hermione) as purely and truly as he cared about himself. He didn't even care about Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson etc. He was selfish. The only reason he could express his emotions was because he had to go through a lot since he realized that killing Dumbledore wasn't as easy as bullying Hermione. This would never ever work.

And even if Ron didn't understand her as much, he STILL comforted her. Take the beginning chapters of The Deathly Hallows as an example. You'll see.

4. "Ron is too immature."

I need help.

Of course Ron was immature when he was 11!! Yes, he acted immaturely many times, yes, he made many mistakes, but guess what? He changed! He changed for Hermione!! Draco didn't change at all, not for Hermione, nor for anyone else. He remained the same bratty bully.

If you could reread the books and read prisoner of azkaban vs deathly hallows, you will definitely see how much Ron has matured. He doesn't argue with Hermione anymore, he comforts her, he's there for her. Yes, he made a mistake but he was manipulated by the horcrux! We don't blame Ginny for what tom riddle's diary made her do, do we? So stop blaming Ron!

Anyways, I think if dr*mione shippers have read the books, they'll know what I'm talking about when I say Ron changed for Hermione. I honestly don't know how you could miss Ron's character arc.

5. "Ron would be jealous of the brilliant Hermione."

What?

If I remember correctly, the reason Draco bullied the trio was because he was jealous of them. His jealousy turned into a 7 year torture for the trio and now you're saying that Ron is the jealous one? Please.

But anyways, Ron has been jealous of Harry and has made a few mistakes. But there are reasons behind them and I can defend him for each of these with arguments other than "everyone makes mistakes" (cough cough* Draco stans* cough cough).

First of all, Ron has admitted being jealous of Harry's fame because he lives with 5 older brothers who outshine him. But that's not really a mistake because he never let it get in his way. There were only 2 situations in 7 years when he left Harry out of jealousy but I think these have different explainations.

No1 Ron left in goblet of fire. I think the real reason that Ron let his jealousy get in his way this time, was not only because Harry got to participate in the tournament which could bring him eternal glory, but more likely because he was disappointed that his own best friend didn't even tell him that he was entering and didn't even help him participate (which wasn't true, but Ron thought so back then).

No2 Ron left in deathly hallows. This one was 100% because of the horcrux and I think we should all accept this by now and stop hating on Ron for being affected by dark magic.

And just like that, Ron never let his jealousy get in his way of friendships. I can't think of a situation where Ron is jealous of the brilliant Hermione so if you remember, please let me know so I can argue against it. <3

6. "Ron and Hermione would break up and remain friends, it's easy to imagine because they didn't have a strong relationship."

This was actually said, someone actually said this-

I'm just going to say that Ron and Hermione are happily married to this day (which definitely proves that their relationship is strong) and give the dr*mione community a moment of silence.

7. "Ron didn't do anything for Hermione and was just a jerk."

Coming from a person who has read and reread the books multiple times, I can assure you that Ron did many things for Hermione.

Of course, he was immature at first, he was mean to her, but slowly he started seeing more of the good in Hermione and started changing for her.

And even when he was immature, he still cared about Hermione and would protect her no matter what.

Let's remember how many times rubbish Ron stood up for Hermione against the brilliant bully Draco. 🥰

Let's remember how cowardly Ronald faced his fears of spiders to help Hermione (and the rest of the school, just how jerkier can he get?). 🥰

Let's remember how ridiculous Ronniekins stood up for Hermione against sensational Snape and got himself into detention (oh yes, this is the book version of the movie moment where Ron agrees with Snape about Hermione being an 'insufferable know-it-all'). 🥰

Let's remember how rotten Ronny comforted Hermione when she was worried about Hagrid and Buckbeak (and he even let her hug him and cry on his shoulder, how rude). 🥰

Let's remember how revolting Ronald sacrificed himself to save Harry and Hermione in the chess game. 🥰

Let's remember how horrendous Ron attempted to hex Draco when he used a slur that was meant to offend Hermione. 🥰

Keep in mind that all of these were done when Ron was still immature and still argued a lot with Hermione.

And these aren't even all.

8. "Ron and Hermione have a loveless marriage."

What the-

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be respectful here but this is crap. And the fact that the person said they also had "proof" from the c*rsed ch*ld but didn't want to spoil it-

As much as I hate the c*rsed ch*ld, I can tell you that it did its job portraying Ron and Hermione's unconditional love. Even in alternative realities, where they didn't get married, they were still in love.

And why would you even think that Ron and Hermione would marry and have kids if they didn't love each other? I need explainations.

Next.

9. "Ron never listens to Hermione."

I'm sorry, what? I'm genuinely confused??

What do you even mean by this? Yeah, they used to argue a lot, and? Ron thinks Hermione is brilliant and wonderful and he follows her advice. I can't recall a moment where Ron won't listen to Hermione, doesn't agree with her and ruins her plans. Anyone else?

Since this one is a big mess and a confusion, I'll move on to the next one until someone explains the points and arguments.

10. "Draco could make Hermione laugh while Ron couldn't."

....

Do I really need to say anything for this one?

Ron was the funniest one from the trio, that's why Harry enjoyed his company so much! Don't you remember the line in goblet of fire where Harry thinks about how much he misses having Ron as his best friend, because without him there's less fun and less laughs? I do.

But what I don't remember is finding Draco's sense of humor funny. I'm sorry but his intellectual level is almost as low as Crabbe and Goyle's. His insults are none other than Potty and Weaselbee, he only got 3 O.W.L.s and all of his jokes were stupid and dumb and their only purpose was insulting people he was jealous of.

These fanfics have rotten people's brains...😬

Anyways, I'm going to stop here. I've delayed this post for very long and I'm so excited to finally post it!

I read a book on wattpad by a dr*mione shipper and it was nothing but a giant headache. That's where I got all of these statements from. Most of the garbage in the book revolved around Draco and Hermione being inseparable and getting over all obstacles (wth) and other stupid stuff like that which really annoyed me. The book was called "why we love dr*mione" and it was by Bittenwizard. You can read and enjoy! Trust me, you'll have lots of content to post about after that 🤠👍

*I always try to be respectful to all ships, but sometimes some of them really anger me because the ships are either toxic or the arguments are plain trash. I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

Thank you for reading this. If you're a dr*mione shipper, I hope I've convinced you to give up the ship or come up with better arguments for it.

If you're an anti-dramione I hope you enjoyed the post. I'll delight you with more anti-toxic-ships content. :)

Thank you once again! <3

[my-tony-stark-drawings]

Chap 14 -- HOW??

One step at a time you'll get there" thought Y/N as she walked along the beach and got closer and closer to the village.

She saw Tony sitting on a bench. And from the moment her eyes found him she could only see him. He was illuminated by the lights of the party and his hair was slightly tousled by the wind.

He was still wearing the shirt he had on when he left on the beach, he had a drink in his hand and was looking ahead.

He was so beautiful. She felt her heart beat so fast again. She had missed him so much.

A few seconds later she saw a woman approaching Tony, waving her hair around her finger.

Even from where Y/N was she was sure this woman was making eyes at him.

And the mermaid felt a feeling she had never experienced before. She just wanted that girl to go away.

Y/N continued to move forward and her wish was granted as the girl left and a few moments later it was a man in a suit who joined Tony and patted him on the back.

Who was this? One of the investors he had told her about? She hoped he wasn't bothering Tony.

She knew that he was stressed these days, always thinking of something important. She had seen him working during hours, always wanting to do better, sacrificing the little relaxation times he could have.

Finally she arrived only a few meters away from the man she had so much wanted to join.

She stopped behind him and waited for a few seconds as if petrified. What was she going to do now, what was she going to say? How was Tony going to react?

She listened to his conversation and understood that Tony wanted to leave to join her.

At this point she simply managed to say slightly

"Tony?..."

At the sound of this voice Tony instantly felt his heart speed up. He turned around in a second as if a force was pushing him to do so.

He saw Y/N standing there on the beach.

His beautiful eyes widened and they quickly moved down her human legs before moving up to her face.

She was dressed in a light dress floating in the wind the color of ocean foam.

Tony looked at her.

"I.. I don't have the words" was all he managed to say.

All his thoughts were racing through his head. He had missed her and was so happy to finally see her again. But.. omg she had legs??

He had so many questions.

How was this possible? And how could he protect her from the world now? So many new dangers! And she was so beautiful. And he could finally take her in his arms... But, was it forever? Why hadn't she told him about all this before?

And now... what to do?

He simply listened what his heart was telling him to do, and go to her and hold her tight.

She had the biggest smile and responded by holding him even tighter.

After a moment they parted and Tony took Y/N's face in his hands as she was still smiling at him.

"I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too"

The mermaid didn't have time to say more because the man who was with Tony had now arrived at the couple's level and they could no longer risk being heard

"Who is this?" Asked the man

"Uh My assistant." Tony replied.

He held her close and Y/N smiled politely and waved at the man.

The man held out his hand and Y/N took it, bragging in her mind that she was doing so well at playing the human and hiding her stress. No doubt it was her love for Tony and her desire to please him that gave her more courage than she thought she had.

She then looked up at Tony who smiled at her and added "And Y/N is also my date for tonight"

This time Y/N felt herself blushing and wished she had as much self-control as a few seconds ago, but she didn't.

"We have made our decision, so why don't you both come over to our table and talk about it" the man invited.

"All right, let me settle some details with my assistant and I'll join you".

"Oh sure" said the man before walking away

"How??" Tony whispered to the woman

"I don't know. I just.. wished for it so hard." Y/N said, mimicking with her arms sticking to her chest "And then it happened! Just like in the stories of my childhood!".

"And you walked all the way here?"

"I'm not going to hide from you that I fell once. Or twice. Maybe six times..."

Tony laughs "You're amazing"

"Says the man who manages to be handsome, funny, kind, brave and smart all at the same time, and who is going to wow the world again tonight with his successful project?"

Tony chuckle not knowing what to say to so many compliments "I'm glad you're here" he says in her ear.

"So what did I miss?" asked the mermaid.

"Previously on -Tony is trying to get people who might be able to help to know about his latest invention-"

The mermaid laughed

"I checked out who they were. Their intentions. I gave them my speech, and now I'm waiting for their answer" he said looking at the men in the distance who were waiting for them.

Then he turned to Y/N and extended his arm like a gentleman. "Dearest let me lead you."

She took it and he led her gently and carefully to the table, taking care with every step she took that she didn't hurt herself.

~

"You've already made so many improvements?" Amazed the mans as they saw how Tony's project had improved between his party and this one. "In two days??"

"What do you think I do at night?" Tony said, which made everyone around the table laugh. All (except Y/N) were unaware of how real Tony's answer was behind the joke.

Tony smiled and laughed but he also held his hands on the table and moved his fingers slightly. Y/N could only admire the way he managed and overcame his stress and she just wanted to help him. She put her little hand on Tony's which made him jump slightly at the sign of affection but then they looked at each other and understood each other in a glance. She was there for him as he was always there for her.

"Tony is a great worker. He would do anything to protect the world and everyone. I'm a witness to that. He has amazing ideas and it would be a shame for you to miss this opportunity to be part of it." the mermaid added in a tone that sounded like she had been doing this all her life

She wouldn't normally be so sure of herself in this new world, but if it was to defend Tony she would go to the ends of the earth. She saw and knows who he is. How this man always puts all his heart in anything he does. How is soul was pure. She felt it the moment her eyes fell on him.

Tony looked at Y/N and felt so proud of his little mermaid. He had met so recently and yet felt as if he had always known her. He never thought he would feel this way one day.

Since he was little he was given an idea of what his life would be like, take over his father's business, listen to people's advice and everything would be fine. Then everything changed when he became Iron Man, his way of seeing things, his way of trusting people. He thought that his only goal was to protect the population at all costs and save as many people as possible. Without ever for a second thinking about himself.

But now everything had changed again. Looking at her he saw, or at least dared to dream of a completely different future. She was smiling at him and he saw a world where he could get peace and happiness too.

"Well Mr. Stark. I think your project has made a good impression on us as well as on our colleagues here. We would be more than happy to do business with you" said finally the man as he held out his hand to Tony, which he shook with pleasure.

---

Masterlist

---

#BringBackTonyStarktolife

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Hello!So there's always been this theory that he tian will join the family business.but dosen't this a contradiction to everything he had done until now? he tian wanted mo to be good and even he tian was trying to be his best self throughout all this time. so he tian joining the business will be like joining the "dark side" at least that what he tian also thinks. so I don't know what reason there would be to make him join because he would need to do some bad things if he would be part of it, im afraid it would ruin his whole process

Hello, dear anon!

I have talked quite a lot about my thoughts regarding the future of HT (and Tianshan). Here are two previous posts that I feel like could be useful for your questions, especially:

Would HT work for his family in the future?

About the distance in Tianshan and HT’s future

However, your question had an interesting character development angle that I don’t think I have pondered before as such. And I feel like the recent chapter had some curious crumbs that also got me thinking about this whole thing again. So, at the risk of repeating myself, I am once again diving into this.

A quick note before getting further, though. The translations of any chapters that come after 341 used in this post are done by @1154lizz Please, go support our fandom’s precious lifelines!

“there's always been this theory that he tian will join the family business”

This has actually been one of the things that the new chapter got me to reconsider. I have heard the theory of HT potentially working for his family in the future, and I have always thought it very likely based on the Christmas specials.

I still think he might end up in the family business, but after the newest chapter, my focus somewhat shifted (ch. 348):

In the Christmas specials, the boys are at college age. ZZX is going to a university while JY is catching up on his high school education. MGS seems to be working, but the pile of books hints that he might be studying something, too.

Considering the He family a bit more, I actually think HT might be going to a university in the Christmas specials. Despite their presumably criminal line of work/involvement, I think the He family puts importance on intelligence and prestige. HT always scores top of his class. He is viewed and treated like an apple of the eye by the teachers, their prized pupil. I also think that if HT is to inherit the position of his family, he is expected to be smart and educated. Not to mention, prestige always means a lot of money which attracts powerful people to rub shoulders.

So, HT having a university degree (in business, perhaps) would make sense in my head. And if Mr. He is located abroad, HT is probably going to a foreign university as well. Of course, that doesn't mean he can’t be already somewhat involved in the family business by then, but I would say it’s entirely possible he’s still being groomed.

But this was just a side note. Whether he is already working for his father or otherwise getting close to that doesn’t really change things that much regarding your question.

“dosen't this a contradiction to everything he had done until now? // I don't know what reason there would be to make him join because he would need to do some bad things if he would be part of it”

This is actually something I haven't really thought about before. At least, not in so many words. I was talking about HT’s future with a friend of mine, and she said that she wishes HT won’t “give up on himself” in the sense that he stops rebelling against this father/family. Especially after everything he’s been through with MGS trying to make him fight for his own future and not submit. What would be the point of him telling MGS to be his own person if HT himself then joins the dark side even if it’s against his will?

Before I get to my thoughts regarding all that, I think it’s important to remember that the future is very much a question mark to us still. Even though the fact that HT seems to be staying abroad (among other things) gives us a base to make certain guesses, we still don't know for sure what he is up to in the future-related chapters. It’s good to keep that in mind when pondering the overall character development.

But I do take my friend’s and your points, dear anon. I could see why it would be disappointing if HT basically undid the progress of working on himself and went against his own principles. I could understand why it would be sad to see his fight have been for naught in the end.

But...as much as I do see where you’re coming from, I still kind of prefer the idea of HT getting involved with the family business one way or another in the future. Instead of disappointing, I would find it realistic and more interesting. HT having to compromise on his rather idealistic principles but still having them represented in MGS would have the kind of angsty layers that personally appeal to me. Both the good and bad being present in HT’s characters in a realistic way - imagine the complexity of that! The bitter-sweetness of “don’t become what I became”. Also, HT trying to keep the world of his family and whatever he has with MGS in the future separate would definitely be my kind of mafia ship aesthetic.

As far as potential reasons why HT might join his family business in the future, I think there are some possible reasons that have been hinted at in the current timeline already. I have talked about these before in the previous answers I linked above, so I won’t go as deep into this topic.

First of all, I think the He family has the kind of resources and influence that could help HT protect his friends and people who are dear to him (ch. 244, 245, 267):

HT’s character seems to have this contradiction that he despises his family’s behavior and way of dealing with things, but he will take advantage of that manpower and influence when it suits him. Granted, he does use them to protect his friends and I’m sure relying on them is less than ideal in his mind, but it still goes against him “being his own person”. In the end, resources matter and even HT can’t ignore that which makes his situation realistic.

Ultimately I think HT using his family could lead to him owing to them and basically being made to submit to his family’s will that way. In fact, I would say it has already happened a couple of times. At the back of one of those incidents, HT had to agree to go see his father. I don’t see why that arrangement couldn’t escalate further in the future as the steaks go higher. I think it very likely that in the future he will keep sacrificing his own ideals and principles to protect the good people who don't deserve to be oppressed by people like Mr. He.

Secondly, despite everything, this is still HT’s family we’re talking about, and I think he is more hung up on them than he would like to admit (ch. 229, 251, 252, 292):

I think the topic of family is very difficult for HT and he has a love-hate relationship with them. It’s painful to be disappointed and let down by the people you love as instinctively as one loves their family. HT has clearly been put through a lot of pain and trauma by the dangerous and ruthless life his family has chosen to lead. 

But I don’t think even that has made HT completely given up on them. Perhaps not even when it comes to his father. I’m not sure if he is naive enough to expect them to change their lifestyle, but on some level, he might be waiting for something. When it comes to our families, the human mind works in mysterious ways. It’s easy to stay in a toxic environment and wait for something to change. And really, there are only two things that can change in those situations: them or us. Either they change themselves for better or worse or we make a decision whether we stay or leave for ourselves. I would say HT’s situation belongs in that last category where he is at this mental crossroad of trying to be separate from his family but also not being able to quite see it through.

Which brings me to another detail that got me thinking in the latest chapter. The issue of HC’s view on Mr. He that has been brought up before in the comic already (ch. 252, 348):

I think when it comes to their father and family in general, HC and HT are in very different kinds of mental positions. As the older son, HC has been subjected to the teachings and principles of their father for longer. I’m not sure if I would say he’s internalized them as such, but he has at least accepted them as a way to live his life. As an older brother, he has also naturally fallen into the role of responsibility a lot more than HT. He hasn’t had the position and freedom to rebel like HT has.

So, when HC tries to defend their father to HT, I think it’s wise to take his “background” into account. I’m not saying he’s lying when he believes their father does care about HT, but I think his disposition as the older brother makes him somewhat biased.

And yet...

And yet, I’m curious about how the new chapter brought this issue up again. Whenever HT accuses their father of just seeing his sons as pawns for his own gain, HC always seems genuinely taken aback by the outburst and how HT is talking about their father. The way HC said HT will “understand in the future” especially piqued my curiosity. Does HC know something about their father that HT doesn’t? Something that could - if not justify - then at least begin to explain his apparent ruthlessness? If that was explained to HT, would there be a chance that he would be less declined to join whatever his family is doing? I would even go as far as asking is HT waiting for a reason that would make thinking about his family less painful if there was something behind it all? Is it possible that HT had learned something like that by the time of the Christmas specials?

Now, that would be interesting.

Overall, I do get why it would feel like a setback in HT’s character development if he indeed ends up working for his family. But personally, I would be more interested in the complexity and realism of him being a part of both good (MGS and their relationship) and bad (the family business) at the same time. In my opinion, including the idea that life is much more complicated and grey-shaded than noble ideals would be really interesting to see.

Thank you for your question and ponderings, dear anon!

[tcsauaskblog]

Love tcs! Question about Don/Daisy. What was the worst fight they ever had in the high school era?

I’m glad you specified in the high school era because there was definitely a worse fight than this, but the worst one probably happened when they first started dating in the summer of their junior year. Don and Daisy don’t really fight. They playfully bicker about small things occasionally, but it’s never about anything serious. They both know how bad Donald’s temper can get and how thin Daisy’s tolerance can be sometimes, and so they both work hard to avoid any conflicts with each other and with themselves. And it works really well.  But then Daisy starts hearing the hushed comments and snide remarks from others. About how Donald isn’t good enough for her. How he’s just some country bumpkin with no tools in his shed. How he doesn’t have many, if any at all, redeeming qualities. She first starts to hear it from her parents and sister. Their noses turned towards the sky and eyes sharp with judgment every time Donald’s dirty, beat-up pick up pulls into their driveway to pick Daisy up. Then she starts to hear it from her friends, voicing their hushed assertions in the guise of concerns in the hallways by Daisy’s locker as Donald passes them, his hair a mess and his flannel patched and worn and always stained with something. And then there are the whispers from people she doesn’t know. Passing them in the cafeteria or on the street, eyes darting between the two whenever Donald speaks or laughs or is at all loud. Like they can’t really see the connection, and if they did see one, they didn’t like it or approve. Donald’s own family even jokes about it sometimes. How Daisy is too ‘pretty’, too ‘smart’, too ‘whatever’, to be hanging out with some ‘dummy’ like Donald. How can she see anything in a guy who loses his composure over every little thing, whose voice is cracked almost to the point of unrecognition and whose hands are calloused and rough and whose poorer than dirt and has nothing significant going for him. And it’s only when Donald agrees to their ‘jokes’ with a shy and humble smile that Daisy finally loses her cool. It’s her turn to get unbelievably angry and defensive. 

Because it’s not about how she can see. It’s about how everyone else can’t see. 

Can’t see that the dirty pickup Donald drives is the one he built with his own two hands. How every part, every wire, every little screw was tested over and over again until the truck was in perfect condition. How Donald is meticulous about weekly maintenance checks. Not because he’s a car guy. Not because he even likes doing it. But because his parents died in a car accident. And Donald holds a weighted responsibility and guilt on his shoulders that no one else put there but him to make sure that that never happens again. So it looks beat up. So it’s covered in a bit of mud. Daisy would entrust her life in that truck any day of the week just because of the packed emergency first aid duffle bag in the back seat and Donald is always the one behind the wheel.   Can’t see that sure, his hair is a mess and his clothes are ruffed up. But that’s only because Donald spent the night before talking Fethry out of a panic attack from a nightmare he had, staying up long after Fethry had calmed down and gone back to sleep just to rub reassuring circles into Fethry’s back through the blanket and talk quiet nothings too him like a white noise machine. How his clothes are ragged and patched and stained because Donald also works part-time as an everyman for old man Otto a couple of fields over to earn a little bit more money for his family on top of all the other farm chores he has to do at home. That he’s ragged and tired, but still lets Fethry hang off his shoulders while he walks, and listens intently to everything under the sun that Della has to tell him excitedly and loudly, and will still get worked up enough to bite back at Gladstone when Gladstone pokes him in the sides to get a kick out of him because he knows he can get away with it. And he ‘doesn’t need new clothes’, he says after asking Daisy to patch up another hole in this shirt. He says he’d much rather use whatever money they had on tractor parts, or stocking up the pantry with Gladstone’s favorite foods so that ‘the moron will eat SOMETHING at least’, or getting that new book Della and Fethry have been talking about lately about space travel. He doesn’t need to look good. They’re just gonna get dirty while he works anyway. He’s fine with it. He’s fine with self-sacrificing everything about himself for his family’s sake.

Can't see that when Donald is loud and boisterous, it’s only because he’s finally happy and proud enough to be, after spending so long fearing and hating the way he sounds to others and how they perceive him. How long he spent in that dark place and how hard he worked to overcome it. And how when he’s loud, it’s only to make Daisy laugh hard enough to split her sides, and when he smiles, that cute, half-grin that’s just on the legal side of mischievous, it makes Daisy’s whole world brighter and lighter and warmer than the sun.

And Daisy know’s that his cousins and sister are just teasing him. She knows how much they love and respect and cherish him. But sometimes she feels that they can’t see the two together as a good pair. They can’t see the connection between the two deeper than the surface level. Can’t see that Daisy isn't too ‘pretty’ for Donald. She isn’t too ‘smart’ for him. Isn’t to anything for him. Donald is probably the most handsome guy she’s ever met, rugged and kind and absolutely alluring in every way. And despite working practically two jobs and reigning in his rambunctious cousins, he still gets amazing grades, and he’s incredibly knowledgeable in the things he’s passionate about. In things Daisy doesn’t have the slightest bit of info on. 

And why can’t anyone see just how amazing he is. How he’s a romantic at heart, always bringing her tiny gifts that remind him of her, liked pressed Corncockles and New England Asters. How he always saves her the best piece of any dessert he bakes, because he knows how much of a sweet tooth Daisy has. How he’s still so very polite to her parents, even though he knows how much they don’t like him. How he’ll find time in his busy day, even if it’s just for a few minutes, just to spend with her. To listen to her ramble or complain about whatever petty thing bothered her or to just hold her hand and enjoy each other’s company.

And Daisy hates how Donald’s fallen into everyone’s trap. How he sees himself through their eyes and refuses to listen to Daisy no matter how many times she tells him that they’re wrong. How he is good enough. How he’s more than enough. How he’s everything to her.

There first and worst fight involved the two of them hashing it out, with Daisy practically screaming at him to understand. To stop looking down on himself and to stop looking down on her. For thinking she’s only with him as a fluke. That she can’t possibly like him for any real reason and that she sees nothing in him worth admiring. She’s not superficial like that, and it hurts so much when Donald agrees with everyone's downcasted views of himself. How he’s so willing to believe that he isn’t worth Daisy’s, or anyone's, time.  Donald had never seen Daisy cry before that, and it completely threw his world upside and sideways. They talked for a really long time, out in the back of the ranch house by the big pond. About how Daisy wishes Donald would see himself through her eyes, and be as proud and amazed with himself as she was, and about how Donald would try, how he didn’t know she felt this way and was sorry. He made up relatively easily, and even though Donald still kind of puts himself down, he’s quick to regain and defend himself in front of Daisy. And she thinks that even if it’s baby steps, as long as he’s moving forward, Daisy will be right by his side moving forward with him.

[abri-chan]

I was reading your unpopular opinions post and saw your buccellati is an incompetent capo without integrity point which is an interesting take! Would you mind explaining your thoughts to me?

I have hinted this in previous posts but time to compile them in a long one. However, do keep in mind integrity as a capo is different from that as a person. Sometimes they overlap: Polpo was corrupted as a person (a personification of greed) and that greed leaked into his integrity as a capo. As we see his own zone is in shambles during the opening of VA and probably what inspired Giorno to decide Passione needs a better leader. For Bruno, he is actually a kind person, but he doesn’t make the best leader.

So by *integrity* I will use the meaning of “being whole and undivided”, or said in a better way “how much do your decisions or ideals conflict?” So a person would have low integrity if his decisions really go in conflict with his stated ideals. Integrity is befuddled with morality plenty of times, but I want to make the case that it is separate: integrity only measures how much the actions of a system conflict with its core values. Morality comes into play when these conflicts have real consequences on people’s lives.

I’ll also compare Bruno with Risotto, because I see Risotto as a better leader and I want to illustrate by contrast. LONG POST AHEAD

So to start, why is Bruno inefficient? I think his inefficiency as a capo comes from his inherent kindness. It’s a bit like that part in Black panther, where the now dead king says: You are a good man, and it’s hard for a good man to be king. As a capo you have to prioritize your own team; because that’s why they are willing to sacrifice for you in the first place. So sometimes to be efficient you have to take decisions that to you as a *person* may be morally appalling but they’re needed for the greater good of the team. If you think about it murder doesn’t sound okay... but you can justify why Bucci Gang had to commit plenty of murders with regards to their team goal of getting up in the ranks. Or that it is just work assigned by the boss, and so on.

When it comes to Bruno we see him unwilling to harm citizens. Yeah I know he used this guy’s body in his fight with Giorno, but could be the Vegeta effect: at first the author makes us see this guy as bad bc he’s a villain and his personality suddenly changes a lot after he’s baptized as a good guy. I feel mangakas do change small details about characters as time goes on; overall their personality is constant but there are slip ups. Also Bruno may consider those that take drugs to not be worthy citizens... But overall Bruno is okay with torturing a 15 year old boy bc this boy is linked to the mafia by killing Luca, but he’s not okay with sacrificing a 15 year old  girl bc she didn’t choose to be thrown into the mess the boss made. That’s a kind decision, and Bruno really acted like a father to Trish; but that’s a dumb and inefficient decision with regards to his team. As Fugo said, they had done plenty of vile things before, so what’s special about abandoning another girl? You can’t endanger the whole team that has served you and put their life on the line, and then just quit and tell them go do whatever, follow me or not, I don’t care.

In my opinion, one thing people don’t talk about leadership, is that when shit hits the fan the leader is someone that is willing to shoulder the responsibility. A team-member can be relieved from the stress of making a hard decision if they say: my capo made me do it. You can’t be blamed if you are a mindless machine that follows orders. And that’s what keeps you sane in morally grey situations where the answer is not obvious. The leader on the other hand, in return for all the power and the willingness of each team member to be his pawn, has to shoulder the burden of the hard decision as well as its moral blame. He has to live with the fact of being the hand that pulled the trigger, and be the ONE to take the decision that no one else wants to take (bc it’s a mentally taxing thing to do).

So you can’t have a capo like Bruno who cannot take hard decisions, but instead unloads that burden on their team: think for yourselves. Definitely makes sense for the team to be self-sufficient on their own, but the capo sets the team goals, so if you area capo, in a hierarchy, you can’t have every member doing their own thing bc it will lead to chaos. You can’t unburden the decision of “following the capo or not” onto Narancia, bc he didn’t sign up for it. He signed up to be a follower and Bruno just changed the terms and conditions (more on this in a moment). Deciding to betray the boss was a capo-level decision, getting on that boat was a capo-level decision, and Bruno the capo just throws that decision burden away and onto his teammates; you pilot your own plane now I don’t care I never trained you and it was out of the blue. (Don’t come with the argument of maybe they all wanted to be capos one day. Sure, but you don’t train fledgling capos on a life and death situation of betraying the boss! It should be a gradual process, not throwing in the towel so your members have to pick up your slack. Bruno highhandedly dissolved the Bucci Gang as a team with no warning and on the worst situation possible for all his members-- when shit hit the fan his answer was to prioritize this stranger girl instead of his own team.)

Inefficiency is linked with lack of integrity bc if your actions conflict with your core values you won’t get much done. A good capo (different from a good person) would have set some capo core values, as well as core goals for his team, and would disclose those to his team members. There’s a contract between the capo and the team member, with terms and conditions; the member follows and sacrifices for capo’s vision because of tangible benefits that come from rising up the ladder. Sure, in many cases people follow for reasons that are not in the “contract”: we have Narancia following bc he respected Bruno, Abbacchio has a one-sided crush, etc. But the reason they were all elated when Bruno became capo is that all members knew they would have power and other benefits coming from them raising in the ranks of Passione. They trust the capo to stay true to the disclosed values and goals, because TRUST is of the essence.

Now what does Bruno do? He has a different contract with the newcomer Giorno, which he doesn’t disclose to the other team members. It’s not smart to play favorites, especially if you have nothing to justify this preference with regards to what the other team members know. We slowly see signs of distrusts or at the very least anxiety appearing in Bucci Gang; Abbacchio and Fugo question why Bruno trusts Giorno so much. It eventually culminates with Fugo breaking away, because Bruno has no integrity as a capo.

In the boat scene, Bruno prioritized his personal trauma and feelings: Trish reminds him of himself and his complicated relationship with his father. But your personal feelings should not come above your capo core values. (There are core personal values and core capo values, and you cannot mix them up as you please). Other members also have had shitty lives and personal feelings, but they don’t deviate from the team values bc they trust their capo won’t either. Why should Bruno’s feelings be special? Fugo rightfully asks why Bruno suddenly changed their contract, for a girl they don’t even know. And Fugo is right; Bruno betrayed his trust, along with the team’s trust: he didn’t uphold the contract and didn’t disclose his real intentions and core values to them. Not only that, but Fugo is made out to be a coward for not getting into that boat, but how could he follow a capo that no longer has  integrity? Fugo did the logical thing: his capo who he trusted broke his trust for a stranger, changed the contract, and no one even knows what the new contract is. What are the new core values for the team? What are the new goals? Bruno can’t even lead well anymore, and slowly everyone starts seeing Giorno as more of a leader (Narancia in the fight with Squalo and Tiziano). Because Giorno’s core values and actions align: he has integrity. Why would someone smart like Fugo follow a now chaotic leader like Bruno, who doesn’t even care how much the team has sacrificed for them and breaks their trust as if it were the right thing to do.

Compare that to a team like La Squadra, and it’s sad we don’t see more of their interactions. But from what we see, it’s telling that no one defected, unlike in Bruno’s Gang. And I doubt it’s bc these men were more friends or buddies than Bruno’s Gang. I’m willing to bet they have their own subgroups, and some severely dislike one another. But they stick together bc Risotto’s integrity has a leader has trickled down to his own team: they trust that Risotto will make the hard decisions when the time comes. And they trust he won’t betray the trust and sacrifice they have put into this.

Unlike Bruno who has favorites, it seems Risotto treats his men equally, since he divides the pay among them. It also seems the team clearly knows their core values and goals, otherwise they wouldn’t be so secure in following their leader. You can’t just follow blindly, if the leader doesn’t prove himself that his actions do align with the values he has disclosed to you.

As an example of Risotto putting his team’s values over his own personal feelings: Sorbet and Gelato’s death. We know he’s Sicilian and stereo-typically so at times. In the backstory, the murderer of his cousin is punished by law, but Risotto still kills him... bc blood is a family issue. You have to take honor in your own hands and inflict punishment. Mafia is a bit like family too, so the boss killing two of Risotto’s men has caused harm and humiliation to the entire team. No one will persuade me that Risotto’s initial reaction wasn’t to bust down Diavolo’s door (once he found him) and make him pay for the blood he spilled from his “squadra tree”. But he kept those feelings down, he swallowed the humiliation, bc seeking personal revenge on Sorbet and Gelato would be the foolish thing to do. It’s what Risotto the man would do, but now what Risotto the capo should do. He made the decision to bear the humiliation himself, as the capo who didn’t avenge his fallen men, and it took courage to say: “forget about those two, as if they never existed”. He swallowed both his Sicilian and capo pride in that statement. And he probably stays up at night thinking on how he would want Diavolo to pay through his nose.

In fact, La Squadra didn't’ defect again until Trish appears and they have a real chance at taking down the boss. And even then, Formaggio brings up the financial benefits of being the new leaders of Passione: it’s not just about the humiliation of having Sorbet and Gelato killed, but there are clear financial benefits to them following Risotto this time, and that’s worth sacrificing for. And Risotto doesn’t just up and change his terms and conditions as he pleases, so that makes their men feel secure. You can be angry all you want at Prosciutto killing an entire train, but if you’re need a team partner, would you want Bruno who will change his mind bc one guy on the train reminds him of his dad, or Prosciutto who to protect his own team is willing to kill an entire train? I think a lot of courage in Bucci Gang comes from the inherent virtues in his team members: Narancia is loyal by nature. In La Squadra, since even someone like Melone has “team virtues” it probably comes from the way the leader inspires them all and the kind of environment he has created. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather take the team that guarantees no one will abandon my ass in a mission, bc the capo has high integrity.

On a tangential note, I do believe Bruno is kinder than Risotto; I feel Risotto is more just than he is kind. But maybe for a leader it is more important to be just then, because too much kindness will get you into contradicting the core values you set up for your team.

[burnedbyshoto]

It may or may not be "controversial" but I don't see how people can say that Deku is better than Bakugou and more skilled/working harder towards being a hero because he's been training/working out and really smart. Yes, Deku has been working out/training and is smart, but, when the UA entrance exam rolls around, he's only been training for ten months. Bakugou has been working hard and training ever since his quirk developed so, basically, since childhood/for his whole childhood.

As for the smart part, Bakugou has shown to be able to make split second decisions in battle to make it work in his favor while also having to properly and safely utilize his quirk. He's also worked very hard to understand how his quirk works and what kind of support item to have that will allow him to make bigger blasts but not damage his body. He also understands quirks in general as evidenced by the comment he made during the sports festival about how quirks are a physical extension of yourself and can be worn out/overused. He's also number three in the class while Deku is number four.

In conclusion, Bakugou is both smart and strong and well-versed in how quirks work, especially with his own quirk. And, so, I don't understand how people can say that Deku is stronger, smarter, and better/the better hero just because he's been shown to train and work harder than Bakugou since the series started when it's pretty obvious that Bakugou has been working just as hard since childhood as Deku has been in the past approximated two years and Bakugou continues to work just as hard as Deku.

so I kinda explained the viewpoint but because it’s a lot, it’ll be under the cut! other than that, I believe that in a summed up version of what’s below, bakugou katsuki is a born true warrior, but not a born true hero. midoriya izuku is a born true hero, not a born true warrior.

here’s my unpopular opinion: bakugou should always have the upper hand over izuku when it comes to one v one battles. I wonder what it’ll be like once izuku masters 100% ofa but for now, he should keep the upper hand. he’s the better fighter & the prodigy 😗

tbh i’ve never heard anyone say that before so let’s hope I digested this correctly! I think this all leads up to something that came straight out of all mights mouth already! if you look at izuku and bakugou you’ll see a person at level 1 to a person at level 65.

when you play games, the early missions arent necessarily worth more than later ones, but because the exp exceeds the level meter, it seems that the level 1 is advancing quicker than the level 65 when in actuality the level 1 is barely scraping by.

it’s something acknowledged by both boys in the aftermath of deku vs kacchan 2 in how bakugou worked his ass off harder and longer than izuku ever did — and that’s true but you gotta remember izuku never had the privilege to be able to do anything of use (sure he could train his body to be super buff and he could be a master at a million different fighting styles, but without a quirk he would be useless against robots. I mean look at shinsou who didn’t have a power type quirk, he failed the test & was relatively around izuku’s strength).

I don’t disagree with anything you say except the hero part, tbh.

being a hero, in the context of the world, is the ability to save and help everyone (think of the entrance exams, villain points were for destroying robots. hero points were for saving and helping). izuku has this innate drive to save people, he’s been doing it since he was four years old! on the other hand, bakugou has an innate drive to win and achieve perfect victory, something he’s been doing since he was four.

bakugou and izuku are quite literally two sides of the same coin — they are each other’s foils, the yin to their yangs. bakugou learned how to fight, izuku learned how to win. both of them fail to accomplish the other sides at first, but they’re growing into both sides as they should be.

bakugou katsuki is an amazing fighter, an amazing warrior. he is the more skilled fighter, but that by itself doesn’t make him a hero. he wasn’t wanting to be a hero because he wanted to help people but because he saw that heroes never lost & his own moral compass would never allow him to be evil.

midoriya izuku is a true hero, someone who will help anyone out in a crisis. he has self-sacrificing tendencies stronger than everyone and while I don’t want to praise it because it’s not praiseworthy considering how wreckless he is, it makes him the true hero. he wants to be a hero because he wants to bring smiles, peace, hope. the only thing he needs to do now is learn how to win without killing himself.

this is why I think they will become the ultimate duo because together they’ll be 100% on both ends and practically unstoppable.

but izuku, in my opinion, is no longer the better hero because bakugou has finally learned both sides. izuku needs to learn how to win to save now. but undoubtedly before, while weaker and lesser, izuku was the better hero.

OH I ALSO JUST REMEMBERED. LOOK AT ENDEAVOR!!!! endeavor, by canon fact, has solved more cases than all might himself. let me repeat, all might has not saved as many people as endeavor, but all might is the number one. why’s that? because it takes more than smarts and strength to be a hero & thankfully for us, bakugou sees that when he’s still learning!

[hillnerd]

Everybody always goes on about how much Ron and Hermione are complete opposites but in what ways are they actually very similar?

\Ooo I wrote on this a while back... let’s see where is that....

*looks* *tumblr sucks at giving me anything a search for* *luckily almost any long post I write is on my google drive!* They are in sync and enjoy one another’s company. The two of them not only spend time with one another, but they see eye to eye on most things. They’re known for squabbling- but as far as actual disagreements go they don’t have that many in the series. The two are a great team who work as a unit to support Harry, Hagrid, defend others, defend each other, and as early as PS/SS even have funny naturally flowing back and forths. Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee. "Don't play," said Hermione at once. "Say you're ill," said Ron. "Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested. "Really break your leg," said Ron. But they straight up enjoy the company of one another. They are seen laughing throughout the series, ‘having the time of their lives’ in Hogsmeade (just the two of them), hanging out in the library, happily hanging out in the common room.  Ron is one of the only people in the series that can bring a smile to Hermione’s face- and it’s so important in any relationship, romantic or platonic, that you’re able to do that. They are highly compatible because they share the same values and core traits that make two people work well together: Honesty, loyalty, fighting for what’s right, valuing the same sorts of people, enjoying spending their downtime (When there’s no ‘activity’) the same way, the commitment they each have to helping the ‘little guy’, valuing intellectual stimulation (not just academically, but through wit, analysis, and people watching), shared ideas of what’s important in life, and the ability to tease/take the mickey with one another. They are both down to earth people who value the simple things in life above everything else, and their loved ones mean more to them than anything. Both have equal disdain for artifice, cowardly actions, hypocrisy, and cruelty. They also see eye to eye on just what constitutes each of those traits the majority of the time.

Ron and Hermione aren’t complete opposites on everything- in some things they are very very similar- and in others they ‘read’ as ‘opposites.’ I mean we’re taking a lot of tropes and meta arguments here to even put it into the category of ‘opposites attract’ when it’s a lot more nuanced than that.

They aren’t ‘opposites’- he’s not good while she’s bad or visa versa. They are both good. He’s not stupid while she’s smart- they are both intelligent in different ways- The WAYS they are intelligent can be INTERPRETED to be ‘opposite’- but in reality they’re just part of a spectrums of intelligence with various highs and lows. The two of them bicker- but we see in the books they are SHOCKED when people see them as ‘fighting’- as seen in OotP and Harry yells at them for fighting and look highly offended at being cut off and chastised like this. The two of them keep each other honest, and have personalities that make a rumble everywhere they go.  People like to think the two of them bring out bad qualities in the other- acting as if Hermione is a quiet sage intellectual who maturely goes about life until Ron comes into the picture. No. Hermione is unsubtle, pushy, abrasive, argues with a lamppost, and condescending. She’s also incredibly smart, passionate, and kind. She’s an emotional trainwreck a lot of the time who doesn’t have much in the way of interpersonal skills- she’s either quiet and kowtowing to authority figures, or pushing at people.  Ron on the other hand is not some chill dude until Hermione comes along. He’s passionate, always ready to throw down, is brash, and calls out anyone on their bullshit within a square mile. He’s also sensitive, loving, and self sacrificing. 

The two are lions through and through with everyone- and that includes one another- but they work so well together because they enjoy passionately tearing into subjects, passionately loving one another, and taking on everything from monsters to parenting Harry. :P Few people could deal with Hermione’s fiery nature- which again seems to be ignored in much analysis. People like to project and think of her as some lofty intellectual who is all cool logic, forgiveness, and objectivity. No. Hermione has never been that. Read the books and you can see how she is ruled by passion over her intellect. I think people criticizing Romione a lot see relationships as something that should be all about shared interests, objective discourse, and perhaps some level of attraction. How very ‘Spock’... They personally read arguments with any emotion/passion/loudness as negative. As a Latina, I gotta say- LOL. My poor poor husband. He comes from a very uptight white family where everyone is quiet and never expresses an emotion much at all. Like that John Mulaney bit- ‘I will keep all my emotions right here [points to chest] and then someday I’ll die.’ So the first time we had a debate and I was loud he was SHOOK. Now he knows- oh, wait, she’s loud all the time- like any time she’s passionate about a topic she’s loud. Ok! It’s like the ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’ family. They just loud.  That’s how Ron is (and all his family are!) and that’s how Hermione is. They genuinely like one another (as shown time and time again how they smile at each other’s actions, value the other’s opinions, admire one another’s actions) love one another (as shown by how VERY much they go to pieces when the other is in danger/hurt, how Ron even said it in the books) and bring out something good in each other. Ron is coded with female traits, while Hermione is coded with male traits in the series- he’s the emotional caretaker (making tea, feeding people, putting pjs on an injured harry, allying the group with emotional enthusiasm), while Hermione is the brain (helps with exposition, spellwork, gives answers to solutions and riddles.) Together they are the perfect team.  The two of them are awkward humans at times, and they are able to make it work. Hermione is able to look past Ron’s flaws and deeply admire him, while keeping him honest and really bringing out his intellectual side that he’d probably neglect left to his own advices. He is able to look past Hermione’s interpersonal flaws and deeply admires her, is able to make her see other sides to equations she doesn’t think about, and brings out the fun side of Hermione she would DEFINITELY neglect without his presence.

[ardentaislinn]

Yuletide Letter 2020

Hi! I am also ardentaislinn on AO3. Thank you so much for volunteering to write one of my chosen fandoms! I really can’t wait to see what you come up with. Most importantly, I hope you have fun writing whichever of my fandoms it is. Any suggestions I make here are optional.

Here you’ll find:

My general likes

My DNWs

And prompts for the following fandoms:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2 (2020) - Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

Stranger | 비밀의 숲 - Hwang Si Mok, Han Yeo Jin

Kingdom | 킹덤 - Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018) - Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

A quick note on the Korean names - I’m fine with however you choose to transliterate them. Hyphen/no hyphen, Shi Mok/Si Mok, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with and I’ll adjust no problem. No need to add the honourifics, though

My likes:

I love getting together fics most of all. I love almost every kind of trope (fake dating, slow burn, rivals-to-lovers, “unrequited” pining (that is really requited), found families, etc.) Also, casefic, epistolary fic, consent, forbidden pleasures, beta heroes, bed sharing, masquerades, military kink, physical imperfections, ladies being badass and female relationships (whether romantic or friendship), relationships that build tension before exploding, equal relationships, trapped together, competence, communication, U/RST, positive endings.

You may notice from the below that my ships mostly involve sweet and occasionally broken men being head over heels for awesome ladies, (and usually not feeling worthy). So that dynamic is strongly encouraged.

I also like smut, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. For smut, I’m (sadly) fairly vanilla. But I like light bondage, cunnilingus, shower sex, and accidental/consensual voyeurism, (Particularly guys taking matters into their own hands when they think they can’t be with their lady, and the woman stumbling across him mid-act. Possibly my favourite kink ever? Writer’s choice whether the woman joins in or gets embarrassed)

Happy endings (or at least hopeful endings) are preferred. Like, super, super preferred. I don’t mind angst at all, but it kinda has to be on the way out of the darkness by the end.

Dislikes/DNWs:

Miserable endings. Major character death. Baby/Pregnancy fic. Humiliation. Drug use/drug mentions/addiction. Self harm/abuse. Non-con/rape. Heavy kink. A/B/O. M-Preg. Incest. Bestiality, animal harm etc. Underage sexual content. 1st person POV (unless for epistolary). Not big on high school AUs or Rock band AUs. Unbalanced power dynamics in ships without acknowledging/exploring that. (This effects one particular ship below, which I’ll discuss in more detail in the fandom section).

I think that’s it?

And so, to the fandoms, in no particular order:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2

Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

While maybe objectively not as good a film as the first one, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Given that it was essentially a cross between Escape From New York and Mad Max, what isn’t to love? I loved the expansion of the world and the clever uses of zombies in the chase scenes. And I loved that the message was that being logical and self-sacrificing isn’t always the right choice - sometimes you should be driven by heart and empathy. And I really liked the idea that anything can mean happiness when you love and are loved in return - particularly in regards to Joon Yi, but also Jung Seok (and his found family?).

What would interest me the most in this fandom is post-movie fics. But if you wanna do a canon divergent/au thing, I’d be cool with that, too. Some prompts:

Joon Yi struggles a lot more than her sister to readjust to a “normal” life

In order to stay together after being rescued, Jung Seok and Min Jung have to pretend to be married

After four long years of loneliness, Min Jung just wants to be touched

Jung Seok isn’t surprised to find himself in love with Min Jung - and wanting to be a father to her girls - but is he good enough for them? He’s left them behind once - can he forgive himself? Can Min Jung?

The zombie plague escapes from Korea - and Jung Seok, Min Jung, and her girls are the closest thing to experts on how to fight back and contain it that the authorities have. Will their nightmare never be over? Or is this a chance to end it once and for all?

With Min Jung in hospital while her leg heals, Jung Seok suddenly finds himself a surrogate father to two very unruly girls.

Stranger | 비밀의 숲

Han Yeo Jin, Hwang Si Mok

This show is just so good, and Si Mok and Yeo Jin - and their relationship - is a big part of that. He’s logical and doesn’t feel things the way most other people do, but that doesn’t mean he’s given a free pass to be an asshole. He’s a good man who always does what’s right. And Yeo Jin is just as smart as he is, and equally committed to doing what’s right, but in a different way. They make a perfect team.

I love how much they absolutely, completely, trust and respect each other. Si Mok cares about her as much as he is capable - probably more so than he cares about anyone else. There isn’t any drama or jealousy or anything like that in their relationship. They are both practical adults. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have a deep bond. I do ship these two - and would love getting together fic if you can!

Prompts:

Yeo Jin will probably have a tough time of it from now on. How will Si Mok support her through it?

How will Yeo Jin and Si Mok keep in touch now that he’s moved away again? Late night phone calls that slowly become more intimate? Texts or emails (epistolary style)?

In the last episode, there was a hint that Si Mok had a prophetic dream. What if he really did develop a power? And Yeo Jin was the only one he trusted with the truth?

What if Yeo Jin and Si Mok had to travel somewhere for an investigation - and there’s only one bed…

Si Mok isn’t incapable of noticing when a woman is attracted to him. But what if that woman is Yeo Jin? Do they try to make a friends-with-benefits arrangement work? Or do they like each other two much for that?

Everyone already knows Yeo Jin and Si Mok are close - but why do their friends suddenly think they are dating? What’s changed? And how do they stop the rumours - without disappointing all the friends who were hoping they’d finally become a couple?

Yeo Jin had drunk one too many shots of soju and thought she might never see Si Mok again - so she’d jumped his bones and snuck out before he woke, full of regrets. But what happens now they have to work a case together again?

Feel free to bring in the other characters, too, as long as Yeo Jin and Si Mok remain the focus! I love the various dynamics they have with the people around them.

Kingdom | 킹덤

Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Like with Si Mok and Yeo Jin above, so much of what I like about these two is that they are great characters separately - but work so well together as a team. They trust each other. He has great faith in her abilities and respects her so much. And she is loyal to him and respects him in return because she knows he’s a good man and a good leader.

I also love how the show uses both politics and horror elements, both to best advantage. It’s so well-written and compelling.

Now, I can see how this ship skirts close to my “no unbalanced power differentials in relationships” DNW, since he’s a prince, and she’s very much not royalty, so I thought I would clarify my position on this. I would most like fic set after he gives up his place in the royal family, since I think that mitigates basically all the issues. Even though I don’t think he would have intentionally abused his power over her, and Seo Bi was never particularly deferential to him, it still would have effected the relationship. Now that they are on more equal footing, there may be some lingering, residual issues surrounding this, but I feel like it’s at the level of bringing some interesting angst into the equation without feeling icky, if that makes sense.

Prompts:

Lee Chang and Seo Bi are somehow transported into modern day Korea. How will they adapt?

Both Lee Chang and Seo Bi have seen horrifying things - and they have the nightmares to prove it. How do they help each other through?

I feel like there are a million stories you could tell within the time jump at the end of the second season. Seo Bi and Lee Chang are travelling together, but no doubt keeping their mission to find the resurrection plant a secret. Are they pretending to be married? Is there anything Lee Chang has to adjust to now that he’s no longer, technically, the crown prince? How are they making money? Is Seo Bi hiring out her medicinal knowledge, while Lee Chang sells his sword? How far will they go to find the answers they seek?

The properties of the resurrection plant are still largely unknown. What horrors will they have to face next, now that another outbreak is looming? 

Lee Chang decides that Seo Bi needs formal fight training - and takes it upon himself to teach her.

What moments of levity can they find together amongst the horrors?

Lee Chang knows he shouldn’t think of Seo Bi in that way - they are colleagues, and despite everything he is still from a royal family. He needs her too much to risk everything because of his desire. But oh, how he wants her…

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018)

Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

So much about this movie is absolutely my jam. The action scenes, the exploration of what desperation can drive people to, the unclear loyalties that are slowly revealed. That whole sequence when they first meet and spend time together is like a distillation of so many of my favourite things. He sees her and is just instantly gone on her. And she for him. And from then on it’s just a quiet, intense longing between them. They are so aware of each other, every sense drawn towards the other. But he’s so broken, and he sees himself as more animal than man. And it’s revealed that she has equally deep wounds, too.

An argument can be made that at least some of it was an act, of course. They were both trying to deceive each other after all. But I think it’s pretty obvious that there were real feelings there, particularly because she tries to warn him that he’s walking into a trap, and he comes back to save her. Maybe even they don’t know how deep their feelings go, or the other’s feelings, but the audience knows.

And yet...I’ve seen it twice now, and the ending is still no clearer to me. Like, is he dead? It doesn’t seem like it, since both she and her brother saw him at the train station. But maybe he’s like a guardian angel now? And if he’s not dead, where did the shot come from? A hidden gun? The sniper? And most importantly of all, if he’s not dead...why aren’t they together??? Like, aren’t all the potential impediments to their relationship gone by that point?

So, I guess most of all I would like fic that makes more sense than that ending - preferably by giving them the happy ending they deserve.

Prompts:

Joong Kyung watches over Yoon Hee from the shadows - but she always knows he’s there. How can she convince him to come into the light, and back into her life?

Yoon Hee’s brother gets himself into trouble, and the only person she can turn to for help is a man she hasn’t seen in too long - Joong Kyung.

Joong Kyung now walks the line between the living and the dead, but he can’t stay away from Yoon Hee. (Paranormal/magic AU?)

Has there been too many lies between them to make a relationship work? Neither think they are worthy of the other, but when they are pulled back together (to give evidence for an official inquiry?) they can’t quite keep their distance.

Joong Kyung is on the run, and he doesn’t know who to trust - except the one woman he’s never forgotten.

Misunderstandings and lies abound between them - but what happens when they are trapped together and must wait for rescue?

If you don’t want to do a post-canon fic, how about canon divergence? What would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung in that warehouse at that moment? Might Yoon Hee have told herself that she could use her body to prove her loyalty to him? And might Joong Kyung have told himself that it couldn’t hurt to succumb - that it didn’t mean anything?

I think that’s everything. Thank you so much!

[lastcrystalwitch]

Feeling Guilty Taking Time for Myself

When there are many things that need to get done, sometimes it seems like I am looking at a to-do list that is never going to end. I attempt to run around the house, studious and determined, to meet the day with expectations that I will have a cleaner house vs. the mess that it was previously in. I just need to remind myself that doing a little bit every day will get me to the cleanliness level that I am so desperately searching for.

I grew up middle-upper class. My mother was a house wife, and took great pride in keeping the house clean. Even if I go over there now it is spotless.

This means I grew up with a discipline system that when you made a mess, you were criticized, punished, or scrutinized. Needless to say, it is ingrained in me that success comes from being clean, neat and tidy. When dishes aren't piled in the sink, there will be no excuse for bugs to take up residence. When I lived in Arizona in with an ex who liked to have parties and friends over who never picked up after themselves, forced me to deal with infestations of cockroaches. Much to my horror and the irreverence of my ex-husband and his roommate who left pizza boxes half way piled to the ceiling. Not only was I unappreciated, but I was busy. I worked two jobs and went to school full time, paying most of the rent and paying for my college and his. I put him through school. I wonder if he ever got off his entitled ass and put in the hard work and got his degree? I was not respected, appreciated, and my needs were never put first unless I put them first.

2012 was a horror show.

I have lived in filth, much to my dismay and been completely out of my control from people moving in animals who had fleas, and possibly parvo, and have payed over a grand fixing my mom's house infested with fleas because of other people who brought their pets over my house and infected my pets. I have been the one, time and time again, to self sacrifice myself to help others, fix others problems, clean up their messes. Now that I am older, and wiser, I am learning what it is that makes me tick. And for me its unacceptable for others not to help out.

But I have to change. I have to be able to tell others that they have to help instead of just expecting them to pick up a broom and get to work. I just don't want to sound like a nagging person. But I realize that others simply don't have the same priorities that I do. And this is a difficult pill to swallow, kind of. Never assume that someone knows how you feel. How can they? People can't read minds. You can read a room. You can read someone's body language. But unless you let them tell you what the hell is going on inside their head, you can only assume. And circular thoughts of assumptions lead to misunderstandings. Lack of communication period will break up a relationship.

I need to get better at saying what I want. What I need, and what I expect. That is what has made trouble in the past with roommates. I just have such an ungodly fear of hurting other people's feelings. A real fear that is as real for me as a natural disaster is real to the residences of that area. This debilitating fear of rejection, and fear of disappointing others can no longer be an excuse for me not to move forward with growing as an individual. And self reflection takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of work. But if we never strive to get better ... we never will.

But I've had only 25% control of the cleanliness of my house so far. With myself usually being the only person who cleans out of the 4 people who used to be there, its easy to feel out of control, hopeless, constantly stepping on wires, dirt, dust, and trash and dirt absolutely out of control. I was the only person cleaning routinely for the past 2 years basically. No one else seems to put cleanliness as a priority except for me. It simply felt like no one cared. And I thought no one cared on purpose. That they didn't care about me. I thought that since the house was never cleaned, it was all up to me.

But at what cost?

Its possible to keep a spotless home, or at the very least a tidy home, but everyone has to be on board.

Oh. And did I mention? My house has been a construction zone for the past two years with people constantly moving in and out of it. I helped purchase the house, but I have had zero control over the residents.

I grew up with a manipulative narrsacistic mother, a misunderstood dad who was never there because he was always at work, and a single brother who turned to bullying as a way to deal with what he was going through growing up. There were always feelings of I am not good enough. I am not a good enough student. I am not a good enough daughter. I was always trying to please others, and dealt with more mental abuse than you can shake a stick at. Its enough that I wrote journal after journal so I'd never forget about the unfairness exacted on me, horrific stories that would make you want to put your fist through the wall.

The bullying and constantly being told that my emotions and thoughts were wrong, and then told how I should be thinking, forced me into thoughts that self harm and mutilation is acceptable. Its really not okay to be treated that way. Because if I'm not doing something right I should be punished. I have since identified this as an irrational thought. But this was just a dip into my past reality. No one can ever scream at me and abuse me the way that I have done to myself. Because I expect it now. Before, I was okay with that. That was normal for me.

When I GTFO of my moms house in 2007, she called the cops on me because she thought, correctly, that I was running away. For me, it always takes someone else who cares about me, to tell me, no. The way that your mom treated you was wrong. My friends have told me, previous boyfriends, and even their entire families have told me what an abusive dysfunctional family I have suffered through as I was raised.

You know what makes me laugh? My mom is so caught up in herself that she cannot see how she's hurt me. She tells me that my previous boyfriends manipulated me and brainwashed me into thinking that she was the bad guy. Which wasn't true. I ran because I needed to get the hell out of toxicity at any cost or I was going to cut too deep one day and that would have been the end of it. Had I stayed in that situation. There was so much injustice that I was suffering, that when my chance came to not only get a college degree and move forward with my own life, I took it. Moving out in the middle of the night, not telling my mom where I was going. Getting married so that I could put myself through college, which I did. Taking my favorites with me and gaining guardianship of my best friend who was 16, and moving her out of a toxic situation as well. I picked everyone up that I cared about, and with the three grand that I had saved from working Monday-Friday since I was 15, I took others with me. I helped others start their life over. I helped give myself and others, that second chance that they were so desperately in need of. I saved a life. And I will never take that back or change my mind that leaving the best decision that I ever made in my life.

With one roommate out the door for new beginnings, and the second one about to venture off on great adventures, I will have only two weeks to have the house to myself for the first time since I bought it two years ago. My life partner and I will be alone in the house with just our pets, and dreams. I am greatly looking forward to it.

I plan to clean the house spotless before his family moves back in with us, two weeks after everyone has left. Honestly though I am very excited to have his family stay with us. His sister is super smart, retired Navy, and has a brilliant mind that is second to none. Her husband is a happy go lucky go getter that doesn't mind sacrificing a day to help me go run errands. He is able to keep most of the things on my list in his head, and its amazing because this means that I'm not forgetting a butt ton at the store. Their daughter is a cunning little angel. She's super smart. 4? I think?

I'd really like to take them to a park once it warms up and do some professional photos for them. They have a beautiful family! And some of the kindest coolest people I've ever met.

His sister is interesting to talk to. She has a mindset that is very different than mine, and very logical based, where I have a very intuition based mindset. She illuminates points of view, that are refreshing, feministic, and not selfish, but thinking of yourself first, which is what I am trying to work on.

My brother in law once told me I needed to stop being passive aggressive. I'm working on that.

I think his sister is a very good role model for me, and I look up to her because my brain is always flooded with how I can take care of everyone else, and while she has a kind heart and good morals, she always looks out for herself and family first. This is different than what I do, which I'd like to change. Because It is difficult for me to think of myself first at all. Except the bare minimum.

For people like me, I have heard, it can be difficult to relax. It can be easy to get overwhelmed because I flood my brain with a list of tasks half a mile long, and think of others worries more so than my own. My old way of thinking was, if I make them happy, and help solve their issues, they'll be happy and that will make me happy. But this is a flawed way of thinking I am realizing.

Don't judge me. We all learn life lessons at different times in our lives. I have had a lifetime of poor inner thought process that I finally feel like I have the tools I need for self recovery, and reprogramming my brain.

It has been a hard past year. Many, many dramatic changes, heart break, and suffering. Many many tears have been shed, bonds have been strengthened, people have been pushed to learn lessons they haven't learned yet either. Not just me. We've all changed. We've all grown. The difference between me and everyone else is, I'm ready to become a better version of myself through self reflection, not succumbing to negative self talk, but shaping my mind to be more positive instead of me just mentally putting myself down. I'm using tools like, meditation, exercise, positive self talk, gratitude, routine, spending time with myself for myself, music, writing out thoughts, and getting enough sleep, which I aim for 7 hours a night. Sometimes I make it sometimes I don't.

But these are the tools that anyone can use to help them feel better and improve themselves. I highly recommend using these tools which when you realize that if you take care of yourself and listen to your inner voice, and take control of your feelings ... it's the recipe for happiness.

[yadds]

Tony Reappears, Part 3 - Tony has come back with more than he bargained for.

Part 1 - what would happen if Tony appeared out of nowhere to be found by Peter, who’s still haunted by Beck’s reality bending?

Part 2 - Tony is in bad shape and Peter helps, Strange snarks, and Pepper gives him the kick in the pants he needs.

_____________________________________________________________________

The next few hours were filled with catching Tony up on some of what he’d missed.  Peter convinced Strange to step out and let him be for a while as Pepper filled him in on what Morgan was like now - how she was so dang smart and had his snarkiness and his sense of humor.  But she also had Pepper’s level-headedness, thank God.  It helped ease some of the sting of her not being there, but it still hurt like hell that he’d missed half her life.

During a pause in the conversation, Tony asked, “And what about you?  How have you been, Pep?”

“I’ve been good,” she replied automatically.  

When he just looked at her, she dropped her eyes and pressed her lips together briefly.  “It was really hard, Tony,” she admitted, voice thick.  “I knew there was a chance you wouldn’t come back, but there was always that chance and you somehow always got yourself out of it.  I guess I’d gotten lulled into a false sense of security.  And with Morgan...I wasn’t prepared to handle that.  But we got through it, with the help of so many people.  I don’t think you really ever realized how many people cared about you, Tony.  Everyone has been really great - especially Peter,” she said, directing a fond smile at the door where he’d left a couple hours earlier.  

“They adore each other.  And Peter loves taking her into the lab and teaching her everything she could possibly want to know, which is great since I sometimes can’t keep up with her brain already.”

That was a bittersweet image.  He loved the idea of Peter bringing Morgan into his family and using what he learned from Tony to teach and mentor her, but not being able to do that himself was still hard to come to terms with.  Hopefully, they could all go together soon.  He was getting more and more antsy the longer he was awake.

But as much as he appreciated Peter taking care of his daughter, Pepper had once again brought the subject back around to Morgan.  “And you?  Who’s helping you, Pepper?” he asked.

She was quiet for a minute.  “I’d been seeing someone else,” she finally said.

Tony could see that she was still talking, but he couldn’t hear her over the roaring in his ears.  

He’d had a small hole behind his heart that had been growing as he heard more and more about what he’d missed while he’d been gone.  Dead.  It was now ripped open into a gaping pit, threatening to pull him under.  Everyone had moved on - SI, the Avengers, Morgan, Pepper.  Even if he was here to stay, what possible purpose would he have?  No one needed him anymore. 

Small, soft hands were gripping gently at one of his own and he was vaguely aware of Pepper calling his name, but he couldn’t snap himself out of it.  

Someone else was suddenly grabbing his chin roughly and his arm instinctively came up to push them away.  There was a loud crash that rang dimly in his ears as his eyes were caught by the brown gaze in front of him, slowly becoming aware of the heavy hand on his chest pushing him down into the bed and a blazing weight across his thighs.  

“Mr. Stark.  Tony.  You need to calm down,” someone was saying firmly, voice low and even.  “I know you don’t want to hurt me, Mr. Stark, so I need you to come on back now.”

It felt like an eternity before Tony was able to focus on anything long enough to comprehend what was going on. 

Peter. That was Peter in front of him, eyes steady and intent on him. Probably also his hand on his chest. Okay. His gaze traveled down and his heart kicked back into overdrive again when he saw the hand wrapped around Peter’s throat, his skin white and dimpled around the clamped fingers. What the fuck was going on? Was someone else - ? 

No. That was his hand, he realized numbly. He let go abruptly, feeling his cheeks flush as reality suddenly came crashing back all at once, horror and shame coursing through him. His other hand was holding tight to Peter’s. He released that too. Peter stayed perched where he was, slowly bringing that hand to his side as he moved the other one from Tony’s chest, obviously ready to spring back into action if necessary. 

Strange wasn’t so trusting. He used bands of energy to immediately restrain Tony’s arms, which appeared to have also been the oddly warm, tingly weight on his legs he’d felt earlier. 

“This is why she shouldn’t have been here. Definitely not unsupervised,” Strange bit out, throwing a cutting glance in Peter’s direction. 

She? Oh, God. Pepper. Tony’s head whipped to the side, searching for her. 

He found her on the floor several feet from his bed, one wrist cradled in a nurse’s grasp and a slow trickle of blood oozing from a shallow cut on her forehead. He saw her eyes clench tight and her breathing hitch as they tried gently moving her hand. What had he done? 

“Not helping,” Peter said, still keeping his voice steady and eyes locked on Tony. When he saw Tony’s attention refocus on him, Peter smiled. 

“Hey Mr. Stark, you’re good now. Everything’s under control and everyone is okay, just a couple bumps and bruises.”

Seeing the helpless confusion still lingering, Peter continued. “I'm not sure exactly what happened but I heard your heart suddenly start racing so I came in to check on you. You looked completely zoned out and Pepper couldn’t get you to respond. When I tried, I guess you saw me as a threat and lashed out. And, uh, it looks like you might have some kind of super strength now?” Peter tacked on at the end, over casual. 

“Excuse me, what? How about you run that by me again,” Tony said, looking incredulously at him. 

“It probably would have taken all my strength to hold you down,” Peter explained. 

“Which he wasn’t willing to do, in case he sent you back to a grave,” Strange expounded, not sounding like that would be such a terrible idea. “Hence the additional restraints.” 

“Well we don’t know if accelerated healing is part of the package, or if your body is even strong enough to handle the effects of using that strength - it puts a lot of stress on the bones and muscles,” Peter said, arms crossed and posture defensive. 

Tony turned back to Pepper. “Are you okay, Pep?” he asked quietly. 

She looked up and gave him a tired smile. “I’m fine, Tony, don’t worry about it. I’ve been shoved off worse things than a hospital bed.” Tony didn’t appreciate that particular allusion. 

At Tony’s raised eyebrows, the nurse spoke up as he finished wrapping Pepper’s hand and stood up. “Just a superficial scratch and a sprained wrist.” 

“See?” Pepper said. “They should really be looking at Peter, not at me.”

Tony’s gaze moved back fast enough to catch Peter throwing her an irritated glance and a slashing motion with his hands. Pepper mouthed ‘sorry’ back at him with a shrug, not looking particularly sorry. 

As Peter waved off the nurse coming to do just that, Tony finally noticed that a few of his fingers were bent at odd angles. From him. Fuck. This just kept getting better and better. At least this was making him much more grateful for Morgan’s absence. He probably would have willingly thrown himself back into the afterlife if he’d hurt her. 

Peter noticed Tony notice his fingers and moved quickly to straighten them with his other hand, bones popping loudly as they were shoved back into place. He tried to smile through the harsh wince. “No big,” he grit. 

Strange heaved a put-upon sigh. “I’m surrounded by idiots,” he muttered. To Peter, he said, “You know, I wish you wouldn’t do that. I can tell you from personal experience how soul-wrenching it is to be without properly functioning hands.”

Peter wrinkled his nose in Strange’s direction, stretching his arms over head. “Never been a problem before. My hands get messed up all the time with all the slinging - throwing my body weight around on a string at high speeds is hell on my hands and shoulders. One wrong turn and bam! Everything is out of place,” Peter said nonchalantly. 

Tony felt his heart sink further. He thought he’d accounted for that when designing Peter’s suits. Apparently not good enough. Story of his life. 

Peter looked around when the silence drew out past a normal pause. “Oh come on, guys, it’s really not that big a deal. They were just dislocated, not broken. And hello? Super healing? It’s a great perk.” He held up his previously injured hand and wiggled his fingers. Fully functional.

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay,” Tony cut in harshly. “It still hurts.”

Peter’s eyes shuttered and his jaw clenched, looking abnormally vulnerable. But it only lasted a second before he relaxed, shoulders rolling back. 

“Yeah, you’re right Mr. Stark, sometimes it sucks. But at least I heal, so if someone has to be hurt, I’d rather it be me,” he said with a crooked smile and a helpless shrug. 

And right there - he reminded him so much of himself, except 10,000 times better, that Tony couldn’t bring himself to say anything. 

Luckily, Strange took that chance to chime in. “You know what’s even better? Making it so that no one has to get hurt, including yourself.”

“Yeah, well, if I could control the fabric of time and space then maybe that would be a valid argument,” Peter grumbled with a roll of his eyes. 

“Or you could work on not being a self-sacrificing moron who rushes into things the second there seems to be trouble.”

“I feel like that’s directed at me,” Tony said dryly.  “But if I remember correctly, it was that exact quality of mine that, oh, I don’t know, saved the world? And I seem to remember you saying that was literally the only way for that to happen successfully.”

“The exception is not the rule.”

“Pretty big exception,” Peter pointed out. 

Strange tsked, rolling his eyes. “You’re impossible. I don’t even know why I bother.”

Pepper approached his bed and took his hand again. “Well this is truly awful timing, but I have to get going - there’s a stakeholder meeting that starts in two hours. Please try not to beat yourself up too much. Everyone is fine and we’ll get this figured out.”

“A stakeholder’s meeting? Really? You don’t think they might let you off the hook considering one of their greatest assets has returned from the dead? Even if they don’t like me, I make them a lot of money. Made. Will make again. Hopefully.”

Pepper smiled wryly. “If it was common knowledge then yeah, maybe so, but we’re keeping it out of the public for now.”

“But you’ll be back, right?” Tony asked. 

“Of course. Not tonight, but soon.”

“Right. You’ve got someone else to go home to,” Tony remarked bitterly. 

Pepper grimaced. “Okay, well yes, I do - our daughter. Apparently you didn’t hear what I was trying to tell you earlier. I had been seeing someone else, but we called it off when I got the news about you coming back.” She moved forward, touching his cheek. “I still love you, Tony. And I want our family back together if possible.”

Tony felt the knot in his chest loosen, slightly. “Okay,” he said simply. “Soon, then.”

“Soon,” Pepper agreed, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Then she was gone.  Tony was agonizingly aware of the loss of her touch, her warmth.

Peter flopped into the chair next to him and propped his feet up on the edge of the bed, grinning when Tony shot him an incredulous glance. “So, what else do you wanna know, boss man?”

They talked about what Peter was up to now - in his 3rd year at Columbia, double majoring in biochem and computer engineering, still the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man but also a full member of the Avengers. 

“And they let you keep your secret identity?” Tony asked. 

“Oh, no. Man, I forgot you didn’t already know about that. Yeah, I was outed only a few months after you were gone.”

“By SHIELD?” Tony asked, brow furrowed. 

“No, by one of the bad guys. He tricked me into thinking he was one of us then when he couldn’t get rid of me, he made sure to record a video that he broadcasted internationally right before he died, revealing who I was and saying I was the bad guy that killed him and was responsible for everything else. It was kinda, uh, crazy for a while.”

Tony felt his heart drop.  At this rate, it was going to end up a permanent resident in his stomach “Shit. I’m sorry, kid. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

Peter shrugged and quirked a quick smile. “Nah, it was my own fault really. I was young and stupid and trying to just be a kid instead of a superhero. I was too ready to trust someone else to take the load because I didn’t want it. And Ms. Potts actually helped a ton in containing the bad press and image recovery. She was a life saver!”

Tony flashed a quick, fond smile. “Well she’s had a lot of practice dealing with a lot worse. I feel like there’s more to this story, though. What exactly happened, Pete?”

Peter focused on a point to the left of Tony’s face, jaw tight. “I’d actually rather not talk about that right now, if that’s okay?”

Tony blinked. “Uh, sure, yeah, no problem kid.” To be completely honest, it was killing Tony to not know what happened, especially since it was obviously still very present in Peter’s mind. But it was also evident that if he pushed any harder, Peter might break. But why? What the hell happened? 

Peter’s answering smile was weak. “Thanks Mr. Stark.”

Tony glanced awkwardly around the room during the following silence. “So, uh, got a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? You know, no judgment,” he finally blurted. 

Peter shook his head. “Nah. I did finally go out with MJ, you remember her,” Peter said with an amused sideways glance. Tony snorted in response. Yeah, he remembered her. “But it turned out we were better off just as friends. She’s still kinda pissed that no matter what she does, she’s still mostly just known as ‘Spider-Man’s girlfriend’, even though we were only dating for like 6 months after I got outed.” 

Peter leaned back in his chair, resting his ankle on his opposite thigh and playing aimlessly with his shoelaces. “I tried dating a few other people, but it just hasn’t worked out. Either they just wanted to get to know me because of the whole Spider-Man thing or I just couldn’t pay them the attention they deserved between school and patrolling.” He shrugged. “It’s okay though. I’ve got good friends and the occasional hookup when the stress gets too high.”

Tony’s eyebrows rose, somewhat impressed. “Peter Parker, an active participant in casual sex, whoda thunk?”

Peter laughed. “Well, turns out I don’t do casual real well, which surprises nobody,” Peter said wryly. “But sometimes a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. It’s all good as long as everyone’s on the same page.”

Tony held up his hands. “Hey, no need to defend yourself to me, honeybee. I mean, look at who you’re talking to here.”

“You still remember that far back, old man?” Peter jibed. 

Tony grasped his chest. “Ouch! Critical hit, kid. Don’t you know I have a sensitive heart?”

Peter rolled his eyes. 

After another soft pause in the conversation, Peter pulled out his phone, tapping it against his palm and opening his mouth to speak several times before stopping. He huffed a breath then finally just asked, “Do you - um - do you want to see more pictures? Of Morgan?”

Tony couldn’t help the way his breath caught in his throat and his eyes stung. His immediate answer was yes, of course he wanted to see pictures of her. But at this point, he didn’t know how long it would be before he’d be able to see her. If at all. Could he handle seeing her right now? 

“I...I- yeah. Yeah, I think I would. Please,” he said hoarsely. 

Peter nodded, quickly punching in the passcode and pulling up his photos. Tony felt his heart stutter when he noticed Peter had a whole album dedicated to her. He craned his neck in Peter’s direction, suddenly desperate to see. Of course Pepper had shown him pictures of her, but that was before the idea of not seeing her felt so real. 

With shaking hands, he took the phone from Peter when he thrust it in his direction, cradling it gently. The picture on the screen showed her laughing - big, wide-mouthed, teeth-baring, nose-scrunching, eye-squinting laughter. Tony’s fingers ghosted over the screen, tracing her wild dark hair, the freckles on her cheeks. It made Tony smile, even as his eyes blurred. 

He ran his hand over his face as he sniffled and cleared his throat. “Man, it sure is warm in here. What’s a guy gotta do to get a glass of water in here?” 

Peter got up to get him one, passing it over (with a snarky, “I feel like I’m becoming your personal water boy,”) without commenting on the bullshit excuse that was fooling no one. He remained standing and stretched in an exaggerated manner. “I think I’m going to just stretch my legs for a minute,” Peter said before ambling across the room. Tony appreciated that pointed ignorance of his vulnerability more than he could say in this moment. 

He glanced back down at Morgan, noticing now that she looked just as he remembered her. He looked at the time stamp. Three years ago. He scrolled slowly through the 643 pictures in the album, watching the subtle changes as she grew up. Whereas Pepper had showed him mostly school pictures and professional photos, Peter had the real shots. There were silly selfies, blurry, grainy shots in what looked like a blanket fort, stupid Snapchat filters, several sleepy, angry glaring photos where she obviously didn’t appreciate having her picture taken (with some middle finger action thrown in the mix there), ones where her face is scrunched in concentration while she stands on tip toes on her stool at a lab table with her hands buried in a project. But mostly, she was smiling. Looking so damn happy. And surrounded by love - Pepper, Peter, Happy, and Rhodey all featured heavily. He stopped at the first picture he saw of Morgan with Pepper and a man he didn’t recognize. The man had his hand on Pepper’s hip and Morgan was smiling up at him. 

Tony couldn’t help the immediate surge of rage and loss he felt as he realized who he must be. 

“His name is Tom,” Peter said quietly, looking over Tony’s shoulder. 

Tony had to set the phone face down on the bed for a minute. Just breathe. He couldn’t blame Pepper for moving on, he reminded himself. He was dead. No one would have guessed he’d be coming back. And he wouldn’t have wanted her to be alone forever. 

“I can’t.” Tony grit. 

Peter pulled gently at the phone. “I can take those pictures out.”

Tony tightened his grip. “No.”

Peter looked at him. 

“No,” Tony said again. “I can. I just don’t want to. But I need to.”

It was almost another minute before Peter sighed and pulled his hand away. “Okay.” But he stayed close by this time, seemingly on edge. 

He picked up the phone again and kept going. Although he’d braced himself, there were actually not that many photos with this Tom guy in them. 

He’d started to relax when he got to one of the last pictures, this one just of Tom and Morgan, her curled in his lap, asleep, his arms around her. 

His vision went white and his head felt full of cotton, the world muffled and distant. He felt a sharp pain and looked down to see Peter’s phone crumpled in his hand, the glass shattered. Peter’s hand came slowly into his line of vision, coaxing his hand open. He pulled the mangled phone from his fist then sat on the bed and held Tony’s hand in his lap, methodically plucking shards of glass from his palm. 

Peter seemed to sense that Tony was floating back to the surface because he looked up briefly before resuming his task. “I think we’re gonna have to get you into anger management classes, Mr. Stark,” he said dryly. 

Tony blinked. And again. And again. And - there we go. Now his brain was connecting with what he was seeing. “Shit. I’m so fucking sorry, Pete.”

Peter scoffed, tightening his grip on Tony’s hand. “Stay still,” he chastised. “Yeah, super strength isn’t all fun and games, that’s for sure. If you think I haven’t done this same thing way too many times before, you are sadly mistaken. Don’t worry about it! Although if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll make you replace it.”

“I’m not only replacing it, I’m upgrading it. Isn’t that the same phone I left for you three years ago? That thing’s gotta be a dinosaur by now.”

Peter shrugged. “Not as much as you’d think, actually. With dealing with the consequences of the reversal of the snap, it hasn’t really been top priority to come out with new phone models. And there’s still nothing that can compare to your StarkPhone.”

“I knew those assholes at SI were lost without me,” Tony muttered a bit smugly. 

They were quiet for a while as Peter continued pulling the glass from Tony’s hand.  A nurse came in and tried to insist that they do that, but Peter firmly declined, belatedly glancing at Tony to make sure that was okay.  At his nod, Peter smiled and returned to his work.  

The nurse pressed her lips together firmly before sighing and bringing back some medical tweezers.  “At least use the proper tools,” she scolded.  Peter murmured his thanks as he took them.  Tony waved cheekily as she turned and left.

Feeling Peter’s firm grip, fingers dancing over Tony’s hand as he searched for any remaining pieces, was releasing a tension he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Despite the sharp stings as each shard was pulled from his skin, Tony found this oddly relaxing.  He leaned back into his pillows, watching Peter methodically squint, massage, tweeze, and pull, over and over again, strangely content with the silence in a way he rarely was.

Tony hadn’t realized Peter was done until Peter finally released his hand.  With the loss of contact, that drifting, floaty feeling came crashing back to earth, shattering as effectively as the phone had in his super-powered grasp.  He had to use all his self-restraint to keep from chasing after Peter’s retreating touch, desperately wanting an anchor to ease his sudden reeling.  But that would be weird.  And pathetic.  Which he’d had enough of, thank you very much.

Suddenly that silence, so peaceful and soft, was deafening, suffocating.  “Kid!” Tony blurted. 

Peter jolted, startled by the sudden, jarring exclamation.  “Uh, yeah?”

Tony’s mind raced, trying to come up with something to say, anything.  “You gonna be my jailer for a while, I guess, while we try to figure out what’s up?  You got some good board games or something?”

Wincing, Peter looked down at his hands for a second before leveling Tony with an apologetic gaze.  “Actually, I’ve got to get back to school tomorrow.  I’ve been studying here, but I’ve got to get back for finals.”

Tony was pretty sure he was able to keep the hopelessness from being broadcasted across his face, but it didn’t stop Peter’s kicked puppy look.  “Yeah, of course, I’m sorry Pete - I honestly thought it was still summer.  Shit, I have no idea what month it is.”  He rubbed his hand across his face, suddenly tired in a way that had nothing to do with his exhausted body.

“It’s December, Mr. Stark.  But in two weeks, I’m done with my semester and will have a month off!  Hopefully you’ll be out of here by then, but if not then I’ll be back to give you the ‘good cop’ experience.”

“Ah, shit,” Tony groaned, realizing what Peter meant.  “That means I’m stuck with Strange for two weeks, aren’t I?”

Peter grimaced sympathetically.  “I’d say he’s not really that bad, but-” At Tony’s unimpressed glare, he cut himself off.  “Yeah, I’m not even gonna go there.  But at least the feeling is mutual?  I mean, if you’re both dying to get away from each other, hopefully that just means you’ll both work harder to figure everything out so you can get out of here?”

Tony snorted.  “Is your middle name Positivity?  That’s got a ring to it - Peter Posisitivty Parker: always looking on the bright side.”

Peter laughed but his smile was a little off.  “Yeah, when there aren’t a lot of good things going for you, you either get angry or find each little piece of goodness around you,” he said with a shrug.

Tony looked at Peter for a long moment, watching him stare aimlessly to his left.  He struggled to sit up a bit, raising his hand to card through Peter’s hair gently.  “You’re a good kid,” Tony said, voice quiet and sincere.

Peter raised his eyes to meet Tony’s briefly before he looked back down, cheeks dusted pink.  “Thanks, Mr. Stark,” he said softly, leaning subtly into his touch. Tony relished the soft strands of hair, the warmth of Peter’s scalp against his skin before finally pulling back, knowing he was quickly broaching ‘weird touch’ territory.

Tony cleared his throat.  “So, finals?  How about you quiz me on some stuff?  See if any of my brains made it back with me?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one being quizzed?  I don’t think asking you questions is going to be super helpful for me,” Peter said with a grin.

“Teaching is the best way to learn, you know,” Tony said, hand waving dismissively.

Peter rolled his eyes.  “Yes, because I’m definitely going to need to teach you engineering concepts.”

“Hey!  You never know, I may be a bit soft in the head now.  I’m counting on you, Professor Parker.”

“Some would say you’ve always been a bit soft in the head,” Peter quipped.

“I would say I resent that, but I’m sure you’re right.  Books.  Now.  Chop chop.”

_____________________________________________________________________

I was originally going to cut parts out of this and make it shorter, but I’m terrible at editing down, so here it is.  

Someone pointed out last post that I mentioned at some point that this might be four parts.  ha!  Definitely going to be more than that.  Not sure how much, but we shall see.  I’ve got a few future scenes written out, I just need to get there (yikes).  I also mentioned that the starker would start here aaaaand I lied again.  Seriously y’all, don’t ever believe a word I say about future updates that haven’t been written.

Tag list: @starkerprince @peachbabytarte  I feel like I’m missing somebody?  If I am, super sorry!!!!!

Part 4 - Tony is Iron Man. Plus, Tony gets to go home.

[kiu-k]

"Why they say Winifred Barnes raised a true gentleman"

[Translation] (Original author's permission granted)

Original Author: 燕麥夾心巧克力 (Original post)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the date of that "last night", Bucky held that date girlfriend's hand(maybe that's not real/official girlfriend). They didn't watch movies, didn't have a decent dinner, didn't go to a pub, but visited a science exposition. The science exposition that represented the future. Sergeant Barnes, who was going to England in the very next day; and who had made much of and had lived a smooth life in the first half of his life, had no idea how turbulent his future was gonna be and even went beyond everyone's imagination.

In this gif, the 25 or 26-year-old Bucky was holding a young, carefree, charming girl's hand. This makes me can't help but imagine, what kind of life he could have had, supposedly, in a world that Hydra and Captain America never existed. This passionate, gentle, responsible, caring, brave, willing-to-sacrifice man would have got a proper job, built a nice house, married a beautiful wife and had some kids, after the war. That's the kind of life he's SUPPOSED to have. NOT a brainwashed assassin, insane murderer, terrorist, or a haunting ghost from WW2. In this gif, was there any trace of the Winter Soldier or brainwashed Bucky in the Civil War? No, coz he had never prepared that fate would trick him in such a brutal way, over and over again.

The most ridiculous thing is, he didn't go on this happy life as he deserves, but some other irrelevant guys did, overtly. Still, somebody praised that and get the hump about Bucky owing Tony an apology. But, who is going to give Bucky an apology? Hydra? Fate? In fact, no one. He'd done nothing wrong, not even a mistake. He's just an ordinary American soldier, a kind-hearted person. Why do this to him.

Back to this gif, Bucky was always so gentle with girls. He held her hand, instead of her waist; he just smiled softly, not much talking, instead of lower his head and kiss her. He was this gentle to everyone. His best friend changed his mind in the last second and not willing to stay with him on his last night, he had no anger at all. Later, when Peggy who was in a glamorous red dress, approached and give Steve a notification, Bucky tried to flirt with her. But he is nothing like other soldiers, no whistling, not using any offensive wordings, or making those vulgar jokes. In that scene, She didn't even throw a single look to Bucky. This was already kinda rude. Yet, Bucky didn't get angry, didn't complain after she left, didn't cry foul at her impoliteness and arrogance. He showed complete generosity and confidence throughout the whole process, then just laughed off his own embarrassment at last. He is a true gentleman.

This is Bucky's gentleness to girls, and his gentleness to the world.

We all know that Captain America is widely respected because he sacrifices himself for saving millions of people. Then does that mean Bucky's sacrifice is negligible? Every single soldier's sacrifice, especially Howling Commandos', had brought great improvement for the final victory of the war. However, Bucky's sacrifice was way more than that.

Because he was sacrificed on the mission of the arresting Hydra's top scientist Zola.

Captured Zola finally agreed to cooperate with the government, and later recruited by SHIELD. He revived hydra, let it parasitised SHIELD. It was Bucky's death caused Zola's arrest, and at the same time, it's also the amnesty and recruitment for Zola made hydra chose Bucky to be the one to experiment. Imagine how Zola was disgustingly gloating while he was brainwashing Bucky-- "Oh, Sergeant Barnes. Do you know that, if you hadn't been that desperate to arrest me back in those times, I wouldn't have experimented on you over and over now."

What was Bucky thinking after he fell from the train? The rescue team was useless, he's still alive. Compare to the broken limb, the loss of blood and severe pain should be nothing at all. Was he hoping someone to save him, when he was temporary awoke in his lonely waiting? Did he think that he was rescued when he saw those Soviet soldiers' jackets? But he had no idea, still, not a single idea, that's just the beginning of his tragedy. Since then, that smiling young adult, James Buchanan Barnes, had waved his hand and farewell to him. And he had dropped into an abyss of darkness, which only gets deeper and deeper.

No one was able to find Bucky in those 2 years of absconding.

But this doesn't bother to change the way they call him, look at him, treat him. From "the only sacrificed Howling Commando" to "the infamous former Hydra agent/assassin". Half of the world hates him, terrified of him; half wants to manipulate him, control him. During the endless and bitter self-searching, he chose to hideaway. Of course, it's because when he got his conscious back, his home was no longer his home anymore. The era he knew had gone far away. He realized that he was forced to do so many horrible things, and the world chose to give him a cold shoulder. He didn't have a place in this world. But that's nothing to the Winter Soldier. It was just like when those smart-alecky German Special Forces locked him in a cage for beasts, he didn't break out of it because just he didn't want to. The reason for him to hide, was mostly because he knows how dangerous he is.

He knows he is unstable; he knows trigger words. He feared that he would be controlled by bad guys and caused bigger harm. So he hid away, wrapped himself like a silkworm, isolated himself from the society. That's the way to protect more people. He couldn't seek help from anybody coz he knows that will bring what kind of mess to them. This is his gentleness to the world.

Can you imagine? A man who had suffered 70 years, brainwashed by his arresting target, blamed by the world which doesn't care about the truth, doesn't even a bit of an emotion called "resentment"? From CA: CW, we can see that Bucky's memories have already recovered to the level that every tiny detail can be described clearly. He recalled the inhumane experience of testing those "Winter Soldiers" when he was a subordinate of Karpov. And even after all this time, he didn't blame anyone after he was freed and conscious. He didn't complain, didn't punch a dozen sandbags to vent, didn't feel frustrated with his missed date. He treats the world so gently as he used to. He'll say thank you to hawkers when he buys plums; he'll hide himself in a small safe house, retrieve memories and do self-questioning; he'll confess honestly to Steve: "I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve." He'll still go on the battlefield to save the world when it's in danger.

I cannot imagine there would be someone like you, the one and only Bucky Barnes.

The world does not deserve you.

--------------------------------------------------

ALL THE CREDITS AND ANALYSIS ABOVE BELONG TO THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR. I DID NOTHING BUT ONLY TRANSLATING IT. (Thanks a lot for tolerating my poor English.)

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, RACHEL! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF CAPHRIEL.

Admin Cas: This decision felt practically impossible to me. We received two applications for Caphriel, and each application offered a completely different perspective of her, tapped into two totally opposite aspects of her character, but what drew me back to your application, Rachel, was your eagerness to tackle the — ah, less savoury aspects of Caphriel, shall we say? You said it yourself, it would be easy to look at Caphriel through rose-tinted glasses, given all she’s sacrificed and all she insists on doing for mortal-kind, but the matter of the fact is that she’s still an Angel. Yes, she’s kind, she’s selfless, she’s sombre; but she’s also haughty, she’s also resolute, she’s also violent. I think it was this line that sold me: “Though she despises war, Caphriel carries her sword wherever she goes – can she not say that she is prepared, if she must, to cut down those that stand in the way of her love?” I can’t wait to see what other terrible things Caphriel is willing to do in the name of love in your capable hands! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Rachel

Age | 22

Personal Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | Inspiration comes in waves, but I try my best to keep a net one or two posts per day. It might mean I spam the dash with all my replies on one day and then am lurking the rest of the week, it might actually mean one reply a day, it all depends on work and life and such. I am around every day to chat about things, though! You can count on me lurking on discord an alarming amount of the day.

Timezone | PST

Triggers | REMOVED

How did you find the group? | Rosey was like Hey. I think you’ll enjoy this. and she was right!

IN CHARACTER

Character | Caphriel

What drew you to this character? | It took me a long while to settle myself on Caphriel. I was torn between a number of characters as they were posted, but I kept circling back to her – her radiant kindness, the exquisite pain of loving wholeheartedly, despite the weight of sorrows that she carries for others. She is a breath of light that is so deeply compelling to me. It could be easy to see her through rose tinted glasses, but I think there’s an edge to her that I really want to try to draw out.

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? |

I. TAKE UP THY BLADE

Love has brought Caphriel to violence, and it shall do so again. She committed unspeakable acts against God and her fellow angels in their great coup all for the sake of humanity, acts she would repeat tenfold if it meant they remain as they are: stumbling towards a light of their own making, figuring out their place as they define it. Though she despises war, Caphriel carries her sword wherever she goes – can she not say that she is prepared, if she must, to cut down those that stand in the way of her love?

If and when the divine beings start to chafe at their self-imposed equality with the human race, if and when they seek to be once again revered without question, Caphriel will once again take up her sword against her brethren. It is an inevitability, one she feels in her bones. 

Caphriel may not go to bat for every human that she encounters, but there are individuals whom she found fight tooth and nail to spare the horrors of the world. She would put herself on the line for humanity as a whole in a heartbeat, if it came to it, though she would prefer to teach her brethren the things she’s learned from the humans first, instill in them the same deference that she holds. Break from them the desire to be worshipped, for that era seems firmly in the past. I think it would be very interesting to have her interfacing with her fellow angels, attempting to teach this point – in all likelihood, it would go poorly, especially among those that still crave power over anything. She cannot force love when it is absent, but she would bleed herself dry if it would make them understand.

Perhaps the angels get restless. Perhaps her shared animosity with Nerissa comes to a head. Perhaps someone dares to harm those that are beloved to her. I feel there are many paths that can lead to her digging back into that measure of destruction she holds within herself, all varying degrees of boundary-testing. This would be a longer-term arc for her as the plot develops, as there are a lot of dominoes that would have to fall first in order to get her to turn to violence – all other avenues must be closed, or she must really, truly feel like it is the right thing.

II. I WOULD DROWN IN THE FAVOR OF YOUR EYES

As an immortal being, Caphriel has lost a great many things. She watches the decay of mortals with a bittersweet resignation, but there are always a special few mortals whose loss she feels keenly, who she weeps for ages down the line. Luca Riche is one of these, though she has not lost him yet – and she is determined to keep him, greedy and indulgent, for as long as she can. 

History repeats itself, it seems – she loved Abel then as she loves Luca now, but this time she is at his side, an equal rather than a distant observer. He is not hers to protect, but she aches to do so, would likely turn at an instant on one who did him harm. The thing is: did she love Cain less, for his sin? Did she resent him for his violence against his brother? She had wept for him as he bore the mark even as she turned her back on the darkness he harbored within himself. Her draw towards Luca unwittingly brings Jasper into her sphere, and she can sense a similar darkness about him. The brothers have her transfixed once again, but can the violence between them remain unfulfilled?

I would love to explore the established connection with Luca and how that affects her connections to Jasper. Does she see the animosity harbored by Jasper? Is she blinded to the issues by Luca’s own love for his brother, and her love for him in turn? She is a bit of a meddler, albeit a well-meaning one, so there’s a distinct possibility that she would try to facilitate some form of reconciliation, especially if the strain between the brothers begins to reflect negatively onto Luca. It might just blow up in her face.

Whether she eventually learns they are Cain and Abel does not, I think, truly matter – either way there is still the push and pull of her benevolent love vs. the specific instances of Jasper’s darker leanings, the sickly sweet danger of her love for Luca. She was not a direct actor in their story initially, but she could be now – I think she will cling to this, and it may eat at her. This possessive love could so easily turn to rot – she hovers on a precipice which, really, either brother could knock her over the edge of.

III. THERE IS BLOOD ON THE WALLS OF YOUR HOME

Caphriel’s position within the hierarchy of angels feels, despite her mantle as virtue of Charity, quite tenuous. She shuns Caelum in favor of Sanctus Terra, adores humanity more than she ever has her brethren. She took up the sword with the rest of them, followed Michael into the fray not because she believed in him, but because she believed that God had turned against His people. All that she has done has been for humanity – how plain is that for other angels to see? It is etched into the very marrow of her bones – it seems impossible that the other angels would not be wary of this, unsettled by this almost lack of loyalty. 

Michael made her the virtue of Charity – but does he trust her? She had walked away while he was building his empire – does this not smart? Do the other angels view her has naïve for placing her lot so heavily with humanity? Her ferocity still lingers in their memory, but the goodness that she radiates now may turn the stomach of those angels lingering in the darker corners of Caelum. 

She spends most of her time in Sanctus Terra, and I would like to really dig into her feelings about coming ‘home’ to Caelum. Whether she is drawn in some official capacity or simply visiting as part of her travels, there are a lot of mixed feelings about the place and the people. She harbors no ill will for her brethren, but their pride chafes on her after too long a stay. 

It would be interesting to push this divide to the brink, test the limits of Caphriel’s love and loyalty. When given an ultimatum, which side would she choose? She was made to love and protect humanity, but can she really turn aside from her own divinity so easily?

IV. A HEART IS A MUSCLE LIKE ANY OTHER

This is building off something Minnie had in her sample app! I think it’s really compelling that Arianne and Caphriel occupy the same niche in a strange way. They both can assuage the suffering of another being, though Caphriel’s empathy is a bit less immediate of a fix than Arianne’s manipulation of the heart. There is an element of violence to both of their pathways – for Caphriel to take a memory permanently rather than just see it, she must wield her sword; for Arianne, it is easy to simply stop a heart entirely. Caphriel aims to soothe from a place of love; it seems that Arianne seeks the power that comes from dependance. 

They are strange parallels, and I would love to have a possible confrontation between the two. Caphriel tries so hard to love all humanity, but I think that Arianne would push at her limits. She has made herself into humanity’s protector, though the threats she works against are myriad and deeply, deeply unexpected. Arianne’s ability poses a particularly strange threat, one that I believe Caphriel would keep an eye on, especially if she got wind that people were really hooked on Arianne. Her interest is equally a strange sort of covetousness for the position of humanity’s aid and wanting to mitigate what could be a real threat to people.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | If she were to go, it would not be without a fight. In short, yes, but only if it’s really compelling for the narrative/serves a strong purpose.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation |

Love. A deep, abiding love for humanity in all their glorious failures and corruptions, their triumphs and joys. Caphriel cannot rid the world of all its woes but she can ease the pain of them, and the desire to do so has driven her to the ends of the earth and back again. Her love is a ferocious thing, not the gauzy lightness of poetry but rich and radiant, forged in blood and tears.

Before God’s defeat, Caphriel ached to understand the woes of humanity on a more intimate level, to feel them herself rather than observe their effects from afar. Her empathic power allows her to do that, and she gladly takes humanity’s pain onto herself. She is a hardier being, at the end of it – they will not weigh her down as they do the frailer humans. She will not let them.

Her love is not always good. This is, I think, the crux of her character, and what keeps her from becoming something flimsy. She has spilled blood for this love. Overthrown her creator. Likely even committed violence against the humans she so loves for the sake of sparing the masses further pain. Though her love comes from a place of righteousness, it is, ultimately, her own, and there are those that would see it as a curse or as the delusions of one individual. Her love can blind her to elements of reality and she can lose herself in the memories of others. 

She exists in a strange middle ground – not quite angel, not quite human. It is her divine nature that allows her to act as she does, yet she has always hungered to know the depths of humanity. This counterbalance propels her, though she may not even understand the true extent of it.

Character Traits |

+ STEADFAST

Caphriel’s love for humanity has not wavered for eons. She remains committed to them, driven by the desire to help, to ease their suffering, to feel as one with them. Her unwavering devotion to humanity has shaped her life and all her most important actions: her turn away from God, her participation in the coup, her retreat to Sanctus Terra once it became habitable. Though this devotion is overall a net positive, it can, in certain cases, take on a negative aspect.

- OBSESSIVE

There are certain things that she cannot let go of. Her love can turn to obsession, to covetousness, blinding her to the dangers of her actions. Her hunger for connection to humanity has gnawed at her for eons, driving her forward at times against her better nature. She can lose sight of the forest for the trees if she is not careful in moderating herself.

+ COMPASSIONATE

Her powers of empathy heighten her already compassionate nature. She wants to help, to listen to others when they talk of pain, of suffering, to work with them to ease their burdens.

- MEDDLESOME

Her acts of charity are not always welcomed by those she bestows them upon. Her ministrations and particularly her empathic ability often pry deep into a person’s psyche, which she doesn’t realize may alienate those that have not sought her presence.

+ GENTLE

Angels can be fearsome things. The sword worn across her back and the brilliant white sweep of her wings may be unsettling, but Caphriel’s calm and kind demeanor puts that to rest. She radiates a sense of contentment, in harmony with the hum of her blade, the sweep of her wings through the air.

- VIOLENT

She does not often give into her baser natures, but when Caphriel is incited to a fight, she is vicious. She made a name for herself among the angels during the war with God, her greatsword forged by Michael himself whetted on the bones of her kin. Her mild demeanor may belie her fighting prowess, but the truth is: every angel is terrible. Even one built for love such as she.

In-Character Para Sample |

When she descends to the earth at the end of it all, after the bones of her Lord God have stripped themselves bare, after the Blood Plague has ravaged the new, fledgling land, she weeps. The first touch of her foot to the land of Sanctus Terra breaks her chest open, pain and joy and love, uncompromising love, spilling from the very core of her, mirrored in the souls around her. She walks, heart open, into the fold, sword a comforting weight upon her back, wings a blinding mass behind her. She learns to fold them away, over time; saves the revelation of her erstwhile divinity for more intimate things. She tucks the gleaming herald of her wings out of sight, but still she glows, lit from within by the undying flame of her love.

She walks the length of the land, leaving no corner unexplored. Her footsteps are those of Moses, of John. Of all those that wandered the earth, driven by love for their people, for their Lord. She trails a path through the indelible marks of history, the eons crumbled to ash in the reformation of the world. She carries these pilgrims with her, their memory mingling with new stories, their pain and grief and love cradled between her ribs.   

It is her sword that announces her presence now, its gentle hum blown by the breeze into the small town she has wandered to. Her cloak is heavy and warm in the noonday sun, her body one large and familiar ache that comes from hours on foot. A small child stops in their tracks at the sight of her – she offers them a warm smile. That seems to spook them more than anything, and they run to hide behind the legs of a woman who bustles around the yard of a nearby home. People peer from windows as she passes, pause in their ministrations to watch her go by. They listen to the radiant hum of the sword that glints on her back and they wonder.

She takes a deep breath, lets the energy of the town seep under her skin. They are all so tired, these people – they all seem to be, the further she moves from the center of the Holy Land. Settlers bending the will of the natural world to their own, terraforming the same soil their ancestors had once turned, eons ago. She has drawn up a crowd by the time she arrives in what seems to be the main square, a rough dirt clearing amidst the houses. The people keep their distance, intrigued but wary – she cannot begrudge them this, though she aches to close the space between them, to take them up in her arms and sooth the furrows from their brows. To nurture them as they nurture the land.

There are people in the square – older, she thinks, though she’s never been good at gauging these things, so used to faces that do not line with age. Humans pass so quickly, their meagre collected years a blip in her existence, yet she yearns to understand the scope of their lives, the honors of reaching fifty years, sixty, when all she knows are millennia. She sees the child from before in the corner of her eye, trailing behind her with their mother, so small. A man and a woman speak in hushed tones as she approaches - snippets blow to her, but she captures none but their names - Gideon, the woman says, Sarah, he responds. Old names, familiar ones, and Caphriel is overcome with her desperate adoration of a people too stubborn to die out, rooted deep into lives eons ago whose stories no longer grace people’s lips but in their most basic form: the name of it all.

“My name is Caphriel,” she intones, as the man named Gideon steps forward to meet her. “I come seeking shelter and to bring aid where it is needed.”

“Why do you hide your wings, Angel?” The man before her says. She sees the glint of mistrust in his eyes, the tension in his stance. She had hoped, once, that she might someday no longer be recognizable at first glance – her brothers had laughed at her when she’d said it, so she buried that seed deep within herself. Her cloak was a small concession to herself, though it seems in this case it had been a misstep. It is no hardship to her to assuage his fears, so she bows her head briefly and removes her cloak, unfurling her wings behind her, a blaze of white stark against the dirt road, the richness of her dark skin. She sees the spark of wonder in the man’s eyes and she smiles, a small but radiant thing. 

“I do not mean to hide what I am, or to dissemble and take your hospitality under false pretenses.” The low murmur of the crowd quiets as she speaks. “I take solace in walking where my brethren would fly, and have found it convenient to cover them when they are not in use to shield them from the wind and dirt.” She cocks her head, coy, lets her smile bloom wider, drops her voice like she is telling a secret. “They are a true pain to clean when they get dirty.”

She hears a ripple of laughter from behind her, bright feminine voices, and she knows she has settled into the hearts of these people. Even Gideon, frame still stoic, returns her smile. “Come,” he says, gesturing her into a home along the central square. She folds her cloak in her arms as she walks beside him, eyes adjusting to the change in light as they duck indoors. It is sparse but comfortable, and Caphriel feels at peace. “We don’t get many visitors here, let alone the start of a host of angels.”

“No host,” she says, unlacing her scabbard from her back, laying it alongside her folded cloak. “Just me.”

“Well, that’s lucky,” he replies, “Seeing as I’ve only got one spare bed.”

Her laugh is melodic, filling up the space between them, bright and bubbling with happiness. “Gideon,” she smiles, tasting the prophet’s name on her tongue, rich with history and repetition. “I want to help you. If you tell me what you and your people need, I swear I will do everything in my power to aid you. All I ask in return is a roof over my head for as long as it takes.” She holds out her hand, palm up, a minute act of supplication. “Let me help you.”

“Well,” the man before her says, “Caphriel.” He clasps her hand to shake. She feels the warmth radiate up her arm, into her heart. “Let’s get started, then.”

[but-first--tea]

LFRP: Kyraeth Vale

location: Crystal Data Center (Balmung)

full name:  Kyraeth Aille Vale pronunciation:  Keer-uh-eeth Awl-uh Vale (The Celtic origin of the name is Cyhiraeth, but I altered the spelling to make it more user friendly.) nicknames:  Kyra height: 5'6" age: 27 (almost 28, her birthday is next month!) 

languages: common, Sharlayan, can read some ancient languages but doesn't speak them

relationship status: single

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

hair color:  copper eye color:  pale green skin tone:  fair body type:  lithe accent: Sharlayan, with definite Limsan influence posture:  poised and confident scars: none visible accessories: a silver chain that bears a darkened crystal pendant which is typically always hidden from view

Traits

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

CHILDHOOD

Much of her very early childhood was spent moving from place to place as her parents avoided any potential pursuit for their crime. However, most of her memories are of growing up in Limsa, her father often at sea, her mother coddling her and worried about her frequent illness, and her older brother bringing back piles of books from Gridania to keep her occupied. Her life changed completely when a stranger calling himself Drutwas showed up and offered her the "cure" for her illness.

place of birth:  Sharlayan

hometown:  Limsa Lominsa, though she's spent the last two years traveling abroad

siblings:  an older brother named Faolan, deceased 4 years ago

parents:  Mathu and Irnan Vale.  Irnan deceased 2 years ago

upbringing: by her highly overprotective family, reading as many books as she could get her hands on, and awaiting more tales of her "privateer" father's adventures at sea.

ADULT LIFE

Kyra's entire world changed when the cause of her frequent illness was "cured" by a man calling himself Drutwas. He was later revealed to be a lesser Ascian attempting to manipulate her to his own ends. Much of her adult life has been focused on attempting to free herself from his machinations, and finding a way to end him. After years of working toward this goal, her beloved Tay sacrificed himself, binding his own spirit into a relic that now serves as the Ascian's prison. She has promised to make his sacrifice worthwhile, and live the best life she can, moving forward.

Character RP History: located here.

occupation: soulcrafter/spirit healer (not advertised openly), aetheric researcher

current residence:  Goblet

financial status: never seems wanting for gil, but doesn't flaunt it, either. 

weapons: arcanima, being smart enough to avoid the fight in the first place, a sword that she doesn’t seem to know how to wield, its hilt wrapped in silk painted with warding sigils.

vices: reckless and impulsive behavior, a weakness for rum, a bit of hedonistic tendency

SEX & ROMANCE

sexual orientation: heterosexual, demisexual

preferred sexual role: switch

turn ons: strength, altruism, intelligence, emotional maturity, intensity, strong-willed, determined, kind, sense of humor, confidence, loyalty, time spent together, a bit of danger

turn offs: ignorance, immaturity, cruelty, drug dependence, submissive, overly charming/insincere, selfish, shallow, betrayal, overly materialistic

love language: trust, a willingness to allow the other to lead, physical contact, devotion, indulging

relationship tendencies: Kyra has experienced a great deal of hardship and loss, and has built up her emotional armor accordingly. While she's not snobbish or hostile, she's difficult to get physically or emotionally close to. She won't assume that anyone particularly cares for her without said person making it too obvious to brush off or ignore. She won't rush into anything. Any relationship with Kyra will be the result of a slow burn. She is monogamous by nature. If she actually physically touches someone voluntarily, it's a fairly significant act. Enjoy a challenge? Here’s your ship!

MISCELLANEOUS

hobbies to pass the time: reading, drinking tea, listening to musical performances, sight seeing/exploring/travel, learning any new skill no matter how random, anything she's never done before (within reason... usually). Currently trying to learn swordsmanship.

mental illness: oh, she has some serious emotional baggage, but nothing that would qualify as an illness.

physical illness: aetheric hypersensitivity, currently "cured"

left or right brain: balanced

self confidence level: situational. Typically very outwardly confident, no matter how she feels about the situation inwardly.

vulnerabilities: self-isolation, a lack of physical combat skill, vulnerable to physical contact

RP HOOKS

walking library: this woman has spent her life researching things as a coping mechanism. If she doesn't know the answer, she can probably tell you where to find it. 

also a walking bomb shelter: she is protected with enough magical warding on her person you'd think she were expecting to be hit with a meteor at any moment. Paranoid, much? Anyone aetherically sensitive/trained is probably going to notice this and wonder... what the actual hells?

but... why?  She carries a sword with her, always, but can -clearly- not wield it. Anyone experienced with a sword could tell that she's definitely not.

probably in need of a bodyguard: She has a lot of (sometimes rather shady) things she intends to do, and a lot of people/creatures in the way of said things. She’s not really a combat character, and it would go rather badly if she tried to do them alone. 

spirit healer: this character focuses on healing non-physical ailments. MSQ has now made this accepted canon, as soulcraft \o/. However, I won't RP her showing up, fixing your problem instantly, and leaving. No heal-botting, please.

searching for an artifact: She's looking for a soulstone to replace one she's had taken from her, in hopes of gaining further insight. She'll chase down any rumors, hints, or leads no matter how bad the idea sounds. It probably won't even be the one she needs, but it's worth looking into all the same.

extremely curious: Have your own story arc? Kyra can’t seem to mind her own business, and can easily be drawn in! Want to hook our stories together so our characters end up working with each other ... or against each other as it plays out? I'm up for plotting and brainstorming!

open to shipping: While this is my one and only RP character and I won’t ship with alts, or engage in AU or multi-shipping, I am interested in potentially developing a romance for this character. 

OOC

I am 40 years old, and I started RPing when I was 15. I prefer emotionally mature RP partners, and I have no tolerance for poor communication, toxic behavior, or drama. I am NOT interested in any OOC romance.

I am in the CST time zone, and I make my own schedule. I can be available for Discord RP at nearly any time of day, and in-game things anywhere from 8am to 9pm. However, I’m not a night owl and you won’t find me in game at all after 9pm.

While I don’t do hard core raiding, I do enjoy content. I can play most jobs, and I’m an omnicrafter.

I have a love for very long-term, complex story arcs that can take months, or even years to play out. I don't particularly enjoy "tavern RP" or random scenes that don't build up to anything. I do enjoy slice of life, but only when it's building the character dynamic between co-workers/friends/family/romantic partners.  I prefer to put my time into building character connections with strong significance, and as such I'd rather not RP with rarely-played alts.

My character is located on Balmung, but I am happy to RP with characters located anywhere on the Crystal data center. 

Discord: Kyraeth#4608

@balmungrp  @ffxiv-crystal-rp​ @mooglemeet​