#he just wants a hug SO badly

[magic-crazy-as-this]

Me: "I'm writing sad, tragic things for my OC's!" Husband: "Ah, that's why you're in such a good mood."

[old-fandom]

I need to talk about Stan's arms and how they are Ford's home.

You know how there is a difference between a hug and a hug?

I like to imagine that Stan reserves his hugs for Ford and Ford only. And Ford is well aware of this. They are all encompassing and protective and wrapped fully around his body. It's the kind of hug where you can collapse in and find refuge. The kind where you can completely lose yourself in and still come out of it anchored.

Stan hugs a toddler Ford after he was teased at the park, tucking him close as his gross motor skills will allow him. They're on their boat, Stan hugging Ford close after a girl who he thought liked him in their class screamed after he attempted to hold her hand. Stan holds him close in a bush behind the school after Ford has a breakdown how he feels so odd in his changing body and his braces hurt and he's so sweaty now and he hates everything. They're standing in their room in the middle of the night after Ford finally reveals that he received a "bad" grade and is scared to show their Pa, Stan never loosening his hold on him. Ford is bloody and bruised and so tired after another fight at school he couldn't protect himself from but Stan lets him weep as loud as he wants in his shoulder and doesn't say anything about the blood stains on his new shirt. The night is chilly at the beach in November but Ford doesn't feel it because Stan hasn't let him go ever since they left the house after a bad fight with their Pa. Their suits stick to each other after prom when Ford lets that girls actions spiral inside his head but Stan doesn't mind, tells him he likes having him this close anyway.

Ford would have killed for one of his hugs the night Stan was kicked out, even though he was so blindingly mad at him.

During their 40 year split, Ford hadn't received another one of those hugs and he tries his damnedest to forget about them. But the memory, the phantom feelings of those arms around him haunt him. He can feel the muscle under his cheek, the fingers in his hair, the rumble of his voice comforting him, the kisses to his forehead. He tries so hard to forget but in his moments of weakness, he wraps himself tight against a firm pillow and pretends the arms around him are Stan's, that the hands in his hair are Stan's, that those words of comfort are Stan's. But there's too many fingers, the arms aren't big enough, they don't cover him the way he needs, the words are too structured. It's not him.

He forces himself to get over it, that it's not something he needs. He's a grown man. He doesn't need to be coddled by his brother. So he buries it deep inside of himself. So deep that even Bill can't find it. Ford fears what Bill could have done if he ever found them.

The 40 years pass and then he's on their boat. So much has happened, so much could have been lost and yet here they were. Safe and sound and, more importantly, together. Ford doesn't think about those hugs anymore, he hasn't been able to with so much going on for so long. But now that he's so close to Stan and their relationship has shifted, he can't help but think about it.

They want to take things slow, not rush into anything they're going to regret, so they haven't done anything serious. They haven't even regained their platonic relationship yet, let alone a romantic one. There was a lot they had to work to gain back.

One night, Ford can't sleep. He's so filled with grief and self loathing and anger and depression. He's on the deck in the middle of the artic without a jacket, without a hat, without gloves. He tells himself that he deserves to be cold tonight, that this sacrifice of comfort will free him of his sins. But they don't. Instead it gets a Stan in a robe yelling at him to get back inside the damn boat. And he does, but he still doesn't feel right. Like he is a shell of himself, unable to feel anything in the real world, so overcome with self-deprecation.

But Stan won't have it.

He didn't have it when we were kids, teenagers, he wouldn't of had it if they were young adults, and he'll be damned if he'll have it now after everything. So he does what he always did.

He hugs him.

And it's like a dam breaks. Like a puzzle completing itself after being left on a shelf to collect dust. And all of a sudden, he can feel himself again. He's back in his body and he's so cold and his fingers and toes are numb and his ears are red and his nose hurts but he's here.

Stan's arms are bigger than when he was a teenager. His stomach is also bigger, squishing between the both of them. But his muscle is still there, thick and warm and smelling of a clean aftershave and the sea and glue, of all things. His hands are larger too, covering the whole back of his head with one hand, the other covering his back. Stan rocks them gently with the waves of the ship in their tiny kitchen. The only light on is the overhead lamp of their stove top that is behind a cracked orange cover that they failed to replace before departing on their adventure. It reminds Ford of their childhood kitchen with the nicotine covered chandler that hung above their family dinner table.

And for a moment, Ford is 5. He is 8, 10, 14, 16, 17. He is a little boy seeking refuge in his brother. He is a preteen wanting something to help him understand his body. He is a teenager wanting nothing more but the pain to stop. He is a senior in high school, heart broken and so angry, and wanting no one else but the one who hurt him.

Ford doesn't realize he's wailing into Stan's shoulder until he shifts his face and feels the snot that clung to Stan's robe now wipe against his cheek. He feels gross. But Stan hasn't stopped rocking them, hasn't stop telling him over and over again that he already forgave him, that he will always love him, that he is sorry, that he is here now and won't ever leave again. The kiss on Ford's forehead is both new and old.

Finally they find themselves in bed under their comforter. Stan's robe is gone and Ford has washed his face of tears and snot, but they find themselves in the same position. Stan doesn't protest and Ford doesn't beg.

Everything is finally quiet in Ford's mind.

He is finally home.

[asmodeusamaryllis]

I fear nishi may have accidentally wrote iruma as aroace and only just remembered that she has a main ship she was meant to push

[lainalit]

How to make someone cry in five words or less:

"Please don't tell Elain"

[your9thsymphony]

Posting my favorite panel from every episode of Purple Hyacinth because I miss it severely

Day 45: Episode 44

[fung-fungus]

the way jack is like “he’s fine” when will, sick as a dog, shot a man outside of alana’s house at ass o’ clock is ASTOUNDING

like ik jack’s always terrible and overworks will but why does it take hannibal urging jack to do something?

why did no one but hannibal notice will was sick and not doing well AND did something about it?

ik it’s an obvious running theme about the ablism in how people besides hannibal treat will (yes even beverly) but god every time i find a new instance of it or a new angle i fly in to rage

[chaosduckies]

Silence in the City (4)

Finals are over. School is almost over. We're getting back into writing.

Didn't know what to write at first, but I've been in an extremely fluffy mood lately so that's what we're getting! I admit, not my best written chapter (to me??) but I'm slowly getting back into writing more than just at 2 in the morning-

CW: None!

Word Count: 3.5k

4- Devon

They kept me in the same cold, desolate room for three days, only ever opening the door to give me food and to take it after I was done. Sure, it might be better than being hunted by a 600 foot kaiju, but at least give me something to do if you were going to shove me in a prison for the rest of my foreseeable future! If I were being honest, even if I was probably the most pathetic human that’s ever lived, I think I would’ve preferred being chased by that kaiju after all. Well maybe not unless I wanted to have another panic attack episode. 

In the time that I was locked up, all I could ever retrace my mind back to was how Kieran was doing. I had at least hoped that he was okay, the last time I saw him he had a bad puncture wound and was bleeding all over. Kieran was a bit hard to read, but somehow I could just tell that he was grateful that I gave him my stuffed animal before I left. Sleepless nights for me but it was all worth it if I could at least make his time in this place a little more bearable than usual. Would it be bad to say that I missed him? 

I had thought that today would be another day where I was going to be stuck, but I guess they had other plans for me. As much as I was relieved to be out of my prison, I honestly wasn’t ready for any more near-death experiences as much as I say that I was. It was a sad truth to admit but it is what it is. 

It felt like I had been down this hallway plenty of times, going through the same rooms and seeing the same people. I was instructed to grab a tablet and then shoved into the same dark room, only this time I could barely see my own hands in front of my face. I clutched the tablet up to my chest, not daring to turn it on as I heard the slow, deep breaths coming from somewhere in front of me. Kieran was asleep this time, pretty heavily by the sounds of it. I clutched the tablet close to my chest, walking forward a little bit. 

Walking wasn’t exactly my best idea but curiosity had a hold of me. I could just barely see anything, but as long as I stayed close to a wall I doubted anything would happen. After walking for a while I slid against the wall, sitting down in complete darkness. If I were being honest, I didn’t like the dark. Not at all. At least when I walked into this room I knew who was in here instead of just being thrown in with nothing like the first time I came here. 

Kieran didn’t really sound like they would be waking up anytime soon, so I had no idea what they wanted me to do now. The other times it seemed like they were testing how he’d react to me being in danger. I was trying to figure out what they might be planning but I had no clue. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t want Kieran to go through anything more than they already have put him through. Sure, he looks like a terrifying monster and he can be terrifying when he wants to be, but once he opens up you find out he actually has more humanity than those sadistic psychos that treat him like an animal. 

Now that I thought about it, why was he here in the first place? Sure to fight kaiju but what else was there? It felt like there was definitely something else going on here. I doubt they’d just tell me though. They haven’t so far anyway. 

I held my breath when I heard something big moving, probably just Kieran stirring in his sleep, then returning to the same peaceful dark. I wonder if he still had my stuffed animal. The mental picture of him cuddling up with something so small was adorable. It was kind of funny to think about it though. Someone as sarcastic and tired as Kieran cuddling up with a stuffed animal. It only made me wish that they turned on the lights even more. 

I opened up the tablet, trying to see what was all on it. A series of buttons that correspond with whatever chain is around him. Wrists ankles, neck. How did they even get all of the chains on him in the first place? Probably not willingly. Around each one of those chains, it made me sick to my stomach every time I saw the raw skin, almost like he couldn’t heal it enough before they tortured him even more. A shiver ran down my spine as I continued to check for anything else. 

Time must have flown by, and I must not have been paying much attention because Kieran started stirring again. Air rushed past me, I heard him yawn, grateful that I didn’t see his fangs. It was pathetic of me to even be scared of them still, but the initial fear and shock just take over sometimes. When I say that being trapped in a room for basically days on end was excruciatingly painful, 

I could hear him stop moving, letting out an annoyed huff through his nose before groggily opening his eyes, and I’ve never been more spooked in my life. I hadn’t exactly expected to be sitting right in front of his face. My heart hammered against my chest when his eye landed on me, giving off a very faint glow that wouldn’t be noticeable unless you were as close as I was. I sucked in a shaky breath, watching his pupil dilate just like a cat’s would. He didn’t seem to recognize me until he squinted, his pupil rounding just in the slightest bit when he put my face to a name.

He quietly groaned, picking himself up, and not long after the lights flickered on. He stretched his limbs as much as the place would let him, wincing when he would bang his head on the ceiling. They needed to do something about that. 

Kieran stared at me for a second, bringing one of his hands close to his face and sighed. My heart dropped and my eyes widened when his hand started heading my way, hovering above a little before tilting it. He pulled away as soon as whatever he was holding fell, his eyes studying my reaction. Some part of me had a feeling that he was a little hurt that I was still scared of him, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it had something to do with me too. That didn’t leave a good feeling in my chest. 

When I looked over at whatever he dropped, I gasped, reaching for it and hugging my stuffed animal closely. So he didn’t forget about it? I smiled to myself, searching for his reaction but the second I turned to face him he turned away like he was embarrassed. I laughed quietly, waiting for something to happen. Not going outside today then? What were they planning on doing? This entire time I’ve been here trying to figure it out but I doubt I would be able to. They probably had a million secrets to keep. There was no way I’d be able to find whatever was happening here. Plus, I wasn’t even allowed outside of my room. How would I find out anything if I’m only here to get thrown into the same two rooms? 

I sighed, hugging them closer and watching Kieran lay back down, constantly glaring down at me like he wanted to keep a certain distance. Well, so far as I know he wasn’t a fan of touching or being near me. I don’t exactly blame him for it either after the people here probably treat him like some wild animal. 

Kieran studied me for a while before closing his eyes, “You look like you could use more rest.” His voice sounded tired per usual, but I could note the sadness behind it. And once again, a deep feeling of guilt settled at the bottom of my stomach for being the cause of it. So stupid of me to still be scared of him after saving my life multiple times. 

“N-no. I’m fine.” I shook my head. He should really stop worrying about me. Well, unless there were kaiju involved. Then he’d have to worry about me. I had no way to protect myself and definitely didn’t know how to fight. Even if fists would do something against a kaiju. 

Kieran opened his eyes, studying me more before rolling his eyes playfully, “Stubborn,” He let out another huff before picking his head up and holding it up with one of his hands, “Thank you I guess.” I was a little confused at first until I looked back at my stuffed animal. Right. I kind of just left him with it. Though, it seemed like he didn’t mind at all since he gave it back. Wait… did he sleep with it? I laughed a little at the idea, “You’re welcome.” 

Taking another glance back at the stuffed animal I was holding in my hands. Kieran seemed… a lot better with it actually. For some reason, he didn’t look as sad or pained. Just tired. And even then it wasn’t that bad right now. Not as much as usual at least. 

I stood back up and walked towards his face. Not too close where he’d loom so much over me, but to where he’d be able to see me either way. It still surprised me how he was able to see someone so small compared to him. Let alone hear me. Wouldn’t be surprised if his senses were heightened because of his kaiju side though. 

“U-Um, he’s yours now. You can keep him.” I lifted my stuffed animal towards him. It hurt to think about not having anything from home with me anymore, but I’m pretty sure that Kieran would take good care of them. I mean he did while I was gone. 

Kieran stared for a while like he was debating on taking the stuffed animal back. What more was there to debate? I’ve already decided that I was going to give it to him. If he doesn’t take it I might have to force him. 

He groaned, using his arm as a pillow as he rested his head back down, “Mmm, no.” I took a few steps back, a little upset that he wasn’t accepting the one gift I could give him for saving my life besides giving him the “company” that he seemed to like. Was he really not going to keep the stuffed animal? I mean I was willing to give away the one nice thing I took from home. 

I sucked in a deep breath and walked closer to his hand which acted as a pillow for his head. Kieran’s eyes closed again, letting out a sigh that ruffled my hair a little bit. A shiver ran down my spine, but I kept on walking slowly and quietly so he wouldn’t hear me. 

This just seemed like a stealth mission at this point. Get to his hand, start climbing onto the back of it, and place the stuffed animal right on top of him. All of this hoping that he wouldn’t move and I’d inevitably fall off and onto my neck and break it. No that wouldn’t happen. Kieran wouldn’t do something like that. Maybe it would be smart to warm him first? 

I kept on walking over, stopping every time I would step too loudly to make sure Kieran’s attention wasn’t focused on me. After being in a room for two days I forgot just how much bigger he was compared to me. A lot bigger. I sucked in a shaky breath, extending a shaky hand to let him know that I was nearby. He didn’t seem like the type to enjoy people touching him, but it just made sense to at least give him a warning of where I was. 

His skin was soft rather than rough and hard like I had thought. The scales seemed tough from my angle, but as soon as he felt my hand, he flinched, sitting up slowly. I stared up, trying to figure out how I’d climb up his hand while holding the stuffed animal. Why was I doing this again? To spite him? Oh the things I do when my mind is decided. It just felt like ever since I’ve been here I’ve become less terrified. Well, of Kieran and a few other things. What was happening to me? 

I shook my thoughts out and focused on his hand that hadn’t dared move an inch. I bit the side of my cheek and sighed, throwing the stuffed animal as far as I could on top of his hand. Kieran tilted his head, still not moving his hand. It was surprising that he didn’t just come back at me with some snarky comment or push me away. Was something wrong? 

“What are you-” Before he could finish his sentence, I forced myself to climb up his hand a little. It was extremely weird considering I was climbing on his hand, but Kieran wasn’t moving in the slightest so it made it much easier. 

It took me forever to climb up his hand by myself, and the second I finally did I was out of breath. I tried pulling myself up by swinging my leg over, but that was useless. I looked up at Kieran, my heart skipping a beat at how shocked he looked. His eyes were slit and wide, mouth just slightly parted that barely showed his fangs. A shiver ran down my spine as I tried one more time to get myself up, groaning when I almost fell back down. The fall wouldn’t kill me. Unless I landed on my neck or something. Maybe a twisted ankle. I could just be being dramatic. This was just like climbing a tree back at home. That was the best way to describe it to keep my mind off the fact that I still couldn’t believe I was just climbing on Kieran. 

“U-Um, could you help? Please?” I asked, hoping that he could hear me through the apparent shock. I guess he really didn’t like anyone touching him. Maybe this was a bad idea? If he hated people touching him so much wouldn’t he have just moved his hand already to make me fall? Kieran was so confusing to read. He was so good at hiding things. 

Kieran blinked a few times before slowly bringing a shaky hand closer, using his knuckle to lift me up. For once, I wasn’t scared. Not as much at least. Sure my heart was pounding against my chest but that was only because of the circumstances. 

I sat on his hand, blowing some hair out of my face as I smiled, “What? No snarky comment?” Kieran blinked, then scoffed, instantly returning to his same tired look. Though, his hand underneath me began trembling. Was he scared? Was I… making him uncomfortable? It was a silly idea to think that someone so small compared to him made him act this way just by being on him. He never acted like this when he volunteered to hold me. So what was wrong? 

The stuffed animal was only a few feet away from me. I grabbed it and held it up towards him again, “It’s yours. I refuse to take it back.” I set it back down and crossed my arms. Kieran stared at me like I was crazy, and laughed, using a hand to cover up his eyes. My attention, for a split second turned to his sharp fangs, a shiver running down my spine. As intimidating as he was, he was gentle with almost everything he did. My mind drifted off to him fighting the kaiju the other day, fear creeping up to me. Yeah, I don’t think I’d like being on Kieran’s bad side. 

He grumbled under his breath, turning back towards me, glaring, “I-I’m re-gifting it.” He shut his mouth and covered it with one of his hands as if embarrassed by his stutter. Why? It was kind of weird for him to be so scared right now. I wasn’t doing anything. So why so timid all of a sudden? He must have something on his mind for him to be acting. Even more guilt built up in me, the bile threatening to come up my throat. Yeah, maybe getting off of him was a good idea. 

I bit the bottom of my lip and leaned on the edge of his hand to see how far the drop was before turning to face him, “Are you okay?” His eyes widened for a split second before he moved his hand away from his face, “Yeah.” The hand I was on seemed to tremble even more, but I still didn’t understand how he was so good at hiding it. 

With a sigh, I carefully turned back to getting off of him, sliding down and safely landing on my own two feet. Kieran let out a sigh of relief, sneakily placing a hand over his chest like he was checking his heartbeat before very carefully moving the hand I was just on towards his face and dropping the stuffed animal in one of his free hands. I sat down, my legs crossed as I fidgeted with my hands. So I did make him uncomfortable. That was just great. Another thing to add to my conscience. 

Kieran rested his head again, the hand with my stuffed animal in a fist and up against his chest. The bags under his eyes seemed to somehow get even worse in that time span. How could he be so tired all of the time? I guess there wasn’t anything else for him to do in here other than to conserve his energy. Made sense really. 

While I was wallowing in my self-despair at how stupid and inconsiderate a person I was, I didn’t notice the large shadow looming overhead. Embarrassingly enough, when something brushed against my back, I let out a squeak, turning around with wide eyes to see Kieran nudging me with his knuckle, a playful smirk on his face. I laughed, trying to push him away, earning a flinch the second I tried pushing him away, though he never pulled away, instead just sucked in a breath and very gently fought back against me, “Not fairrr you’re a lot bigger than me.” I giggled. Was he doing this to cheer me up? Wasn’t he the one who was sad? When I took one glance at him though, he seemed so calm and happy. Like he wasn’t trapped in this horrific scientists’ playground. Like he wasn’t being used…

“Hm. And I’m half asleep so who’s really the one here who has an excuse?” We both laughed, his eyes slowly closing. 

“Still me. Not fair that I'm half as tall as your fingers are wide.” I stuck my tongue out playfully, watching him roll his eyes and push me gently onto my back. I laughed, watching a small smile creep up on his face. 

“Yeah, whatever pipsqueak. I’ll give you this one,” He pulled his hand away and tucked it under his head letting out a long sigh as he closed his eyes, “Stop being stubborn and lay down.” Kieran ordered. Seriously? He was still going to make me fall asleep? I wasn’t even tired! It felt like it anyway. Or maybe I’m so sleep-deprived that I just don’t feel tired anymore. 

Instead of coming up with a really bad comeback, I did as asked and laid down on the metal floor that was surprisingly not as uncomfortable as originally thought. Kieran hummed and curled up a little more, and a few minutes later he was asleep. It was crazy how fast he was just able to do that. It takes me about an hour to go through everything I’ve done wrong in my life before even shutting my eyes.

I sighed, about to get up before Kieran shifted slightly, mumbling just a few words, “-too nice.” He pressed the hand that held my stuffed animal closer. Oh how I wished I could have a camera or something to record this. Honestly, it was more adorable than embarrassing. Even though he’s the most sarcastic and teasing person I’ve ever met, he still somehow hides the fact that he’s the biggest softie I know. How does he do it? No idea, but it was nice to know that he was getting a little more comfortable and trusting me a little more. I’ve placed all my trust plus some into him, and so far nothing bad has happened. I’ll take that as a win any day.

——————

Again not my best written work but I did kind of enjoy writing this little scene! Kieran is just very conflicted as to why Devon trusts him so much already... andddd the fact that he is NOT used to physical touch in the slightest. A special thanks to @51lly-c3d4r for giving me ideas for this chapter that you didn't even mean to give me-

Thank you for reading! :D

Taglist: @da3dm @dav8530

(If you would like to be added or removed please let me know!)

[crxzytogether]

yk what I really need for season 5? A good heartfelt hug. Like I'm talking theyre both crying because one of them almost died and they're holding onto each other for dear life so tight they can't breathe eyes closed you can FEEL the emotions theyre feeling see it clearly on their faces all the relief and worry and LOVE is clear as day like just a really good emotional gut wrenching hug. They both deserve that hug :") Bonus points if it's raining or theyre bloody or BOTH.

[fandomsarefamily1966]

Does anyone else really want to hug Rick Wright

Because I do

[amoremagnificentbastard]

Your girl saved Shadowheart's parents and fucked Godey up tonight. Next up: we fuck up Cazador even worse.

Also peep Diana's newest set of armor -- which I've kept forgetting to take screenshots of up to now!

[flowercrowngods]

i’ve decided to send an ask for each story you posted in the wip game kdnehdhs who did this to you? lives rent free in my brain 💛💛 (@a-little-unsteddie)

thank you so much 🥰🤍 still slowly working my way through the asks, so have a few more words to make up for the wait 🫶

who did this to you (pt.4) // tales of blue part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | read on ao3 🌷 preceding snippet no 1. | no. 2

Finally, finally, the familiar sound of Wayne‘s old truck rounding the corner into the trailer park interrupts the tense silence that seems to have fallen over all of Forest Hills tonight, and Eddie has half a mind to run out there, run toward them and get the whole story. Just to be sure that everything is fine. Just to be sure that Steve’s still… That he’s still there.

He stays right where he is, though, staring at Buckley‘s wild hair, feeling her shadow walk over him as Wayne pulls up to their driveway and stops. She is right in the centre of the headlights, but still she doesn’t move. Eddie wants to scream at her. Wants to nudge her and shove her out of the way — imagines it, imagines all the alternate universes in which he finds her wide eyes scared and unseeing as Wayne‘s voice sounds behind them, telling them that Steve didn’t make it.

Except in this one, Wayne said they’re coming home. In this one, shit like that doesn’t happen to eighteen year-old boys and their friends.

Aside from that girl. Barbara Holland.

Eddie swallows, his eyes flitting between bright lights to the silhouette of Buckley right in their centre. Like a doe, he thinks. Terrified of what she’ll find.

Don’t you wanna know? Eddie wants to ask her. Don’t you wanna see? What are you afraid of? What did you see? Who is he, Robin, and who are you? Why the fuck won’t you move?

In the end, it is the sound of a car door slamming shut that snaps Buckley out of her stupor, and she all but flies off the steps towards the truck. Towards where Eddie can vaguely make out the shape of a badly bruised face, the play of light and darkness not enough to conceal the deep purple splotches or the sluggishness of his movements as he raises his head. Turning toward Buckley like a flower to the sun.

She presses her hand to the window for a second, just looking at him — and Eddie is glad he can’t see either of their faces. He has a feeling that what he’d see there would haunt him forever.

[morphosmeliae]

follow up from my last post i was sad bc i was rewatching sk8 the infinity cause i miss them and the homosexual tension between reki and langa through all of that drama was apparently too much for my heart they just been through so much and i love them so so much esp reki if any of you hurt him again i will destroy the world and then myself please he is my world i want to hug him so badly

digital watercolour time for him because I MISS HIM AND I LOVE AND APPRECIATE HIS EXISTENCE HE IS IRREPLACEABLE AND GIVES ME JOY

[rabbithaver]

silver is so touch starved that i think if you hugged him his brain would short-circuit. he's so used to being alone... i think if he trusted you enough he'd just melt into the hug. maybe go boneless like a ragdoll cat

[wikitpowers]

i'm thinking about thule!kit...

there are so many different ways he could've turned out to be like what version of himself is he currently? i'm desperate to know where he's at!!! i need to know, like is he good or bad? did he fall into the deep end and become evil? or maybe he's still just a sweet little sunshine boy?

sorry but IMAGINE if rosemary and johnny are alive in thule and they are a happy family who love their son so badly and would literally protect him with their lives (yes, i'm stealing this one from tessa)

and maybe johnny is a great father in thule bc he never lost rosemary... and kit knows he is loved and important to someone :(

and if our world!kit meets them... THEN WHAT?! he would literally be looking at what he could have had but doesn't :( i think a part of him would truly break inside :(

[thebrokenmechanicalpencil]

Deep breathes

( @quibble-auk we have a bit!!! Blurb...Thing....Maybe this is alright. I sorta wanted to add a bit to the Dropmix trials again. Sucks I cant figure out how to write Drop. ONE DAY. I just love him, he is my favorite...Old...Cruel....Bastard...)

------------------------

Comet wished he could just make the tears end. That he could flip a switch, turn off the leaky faucet. They never failed to mark him as a weak runt. In the arena they had run brown with dust and sweat, in the warzones they leaked in pink streaks echoing the bodies he had cradled. Sunstreaker had seen those horrible, disgusting tears and decided he loved him.

The gladiator had rubbed a rough thumb down his face, catching the liquid with curious optics. Crouched and posed to kill him. To end his suffering and loneliness. Comet remembered how he had only been able to chirp, begging he not hurt him anymore. How the titan had leaned close, studying him like a subject for his canvas. 

Cometeater desperately wanted those optics on him now. Violet and lined with dark, squinted with protectiveness. With warmth, Comet would even take Sunstreaker’s wrathful gaze. As long as he could be there. 

Another sob escaped his throat as he laid up against the wall, shivering and trying his best to gain some control. The smells had lightened, music played softly through the room pulling him out of the depths, but Comet couldn't stop crying. He knew Dropmix hadn’t left. He could feel that gaze like a wet canvas, suffocating and uncomfortable. 

It only made Comet cry harder.

He wanted his brothers. He wanted his room. He wanted Sunstreaker, he needed his older brother to hug him or cuff him. Tell him to get up. Or take a deep breath. He needed the duality of his loving jerk of a guardian.

If only Sideswipe would wake up.

It triggered another round of tears, that horrible image of Sideswipe bloated with his own fluids. Buried in the rubble, optics flickering. Comet had never felt so frightened. 

Cometeater would rather face Sunrazor again, have those monstrous optics cut him up and pin him like some animal. Then ever see Sideswipe so…Hurt. So vulnerable, so broken.  If he had been faster, both of them would be ok.

Before Comet could spiral once more, the gladiator across from him breathed a little too deeply. 

Alertness struck him, exhaustion deepened. 

He needed to stop. 

He needed to breathe.

Comet forced a shaky breath, focusing on the odd strains of music wafting through the air. How it moved in soft strokes, guiding his breaths. While the music guided his lungs, Comet closed his eyes and clung to the familiar smells he could catch. Sideswipe.

Deep warm and kindly peppery. Gentle enough to not hurt Comet’s nose when he breathed deeply, enough to warm his heart. 

Cometeater forced out another breath in time to the music, trying to carve out Sideswipe’s smell from among Dropmix’s. Past the smell of danger and the nightmarish past, was his brother. Sideswipe wrapped around him in garb of comfort, slowing his heartbeat and allowing the blood to flow without a rush. Comet felt  his claws  deeply scrape the floor beneath him, he was ok.

Cmon Com, deep breathes. I'm here your ok… 

Comet was ok.

…No listen, feel me, feel how Im venting….

Comet was breathing easier now, the panic and despair melting.

… Thats it….Im here….I promise…

Sideswipe was here, he wasn’t alone. Sideswipe was breathing, his spark humming. Sideswipe was ok.

Cometeater allowed his shoulders to relax as the old memory slowly drifted away. But the feeling of arms around him lingered, of Sideswipe’s thick chestplate firm against his back.

…I’ll protect you…

Comet opened his eyes and sighed. The bone deep feeling of exhaustion leadened his neck and limbs as he slowly turned to stare at the large mech that had never left.

Dropmix had folded himself to sit a ways from him, an anxious air about his shoulders. It was folded into the curve of his mouth, an  anxiety ridden gladiator in hiding.

Comet couldn’t bring himself to do much more then bring a hand to his chest, trying to ease the ache.

Both mechs stared for a couple minutes, Comet catching his next wind.

As the seconds ticked by Comet’s mind cleared, the fear now a numbed whiny voice in the back of his skull.

Cometeater sighed deeply and laid his head against the wall. The thin plan forming on the edges of his mind.

 He knew he was pushing his luck, in his tired brain he knew allowing the gladiator to dominate too much would be a mistake. But, Cometeater was tired. His chest and head hurt, his hip screamed now with every breath. 

The part of him that twitched to change shape moved to show his neck, let Dropmix know he was tired. He was done with the whole game.

If he wanted to buy Sunstreaker time, keep Sideswipe breathing. He needed to allow Dropmix to think he had a leash.

Utterly vulnerable, completely exhausted, Comet forced is tired back to relax. 

“Please…. leave.”

[statementlou]

.