#head of a gecko. body of a skink. tail of a monitor

[whitesnakewine]

Sage kabu if he was a morally questionable condescend talking lizard

I was going to draw him in his normal human sized, but it would send a different message and this is funnier lol

[bestanimal]

Round 3 - Reptilia - Squamata

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Our second order of reptiles is Squamata, commonly called “lizards” and “snakes” (though snakes are in fact a suborder of lizards). This is a highly diverse order, containing the families… *deep breath*… Dibamidae (“blind skinks”), Diplodactylidae (diplodactylid geckos), Pygopodidae (“snake-lizards”), Carphodactylidae (“southern padless geckos”), Eublepharidae (“eyelid geckos”), Sphaerodactylidae (sphaerodactylid geckos), Phyllodactylidae (phyllodactylid geckos), Gekkonidae (“common geckos”), Scincidae (“skinks”), Xantusiidae (“night lizards”), Gerrhosauridae (“plated lizards”), Cordylidae (“girdled lizards”), Gymnophthalmidae (“spectacled lizards”), Teiidae (“whiptails” and “tegus”), Alopoglossidae (“teids” and “largescale lizards”), Lacertidae (“wall lizards”), Rhineuridae (“Florida Worm Lizard”), Bipedidae (“Mexican Mole Lizard”, “Four-toed Worm Lizard”, and “Three-toed Worm Lizard”), Blanidae (also “worm lizards”), Cadeidae (“Cuban keel-headed worm lizards”), Trogonophidae (“Palearctic worm lizards”), Amphisbaenidae (“worm lizards”), Shinisauridae (“Chinese Crocodile Lizard”), Lanthanotidae (“Earless Monitor Lizard”), Varanidae (“monitor lizards”), Helodermatidae (“beaded lizards”), Xenosauridae (“knob-scaled lizards”), Diploglossidae (“galliwasps”), Anniellidae (“American legless lizards”), Anguidae (“glass lizards” and “alligator lizards”), Chamaeleonidae (“chameleons”), Agamidae (“agamas” or “dragon lizards”), Leiocephalidae (“curlytail lizards”), Iguanidae (“iguanas” and “chuckwallas”), Hoplocercidae (“woodlizards” and “dwarf iguanas”), Crotaphytidae (“collared lizards”), Corytophanidae (“casquehead lizards”), Tropiduridae (“Neotropical ground lizards”), Phrynosomatidae (phrynosomatid lizards), Dactyloidae (“anoles”), Polychrotidae (“bush anoles”), Liolaemidae (liolaemid lizards), Leiosauridae (leiosaurid lizards), Opluridae (“Malagasy iguanas”), Leptotyphlopidae (“slender blind snakes”), Gerrhopilidae (“Indo-Malayan blindsnakes”), Xenotyphlopidae (“Malagasy blind snakes”), Typhlopidae (typhlopid blindsnakes), Anomalepididae (“primitive blind snakes”), Aniliidae (“American Pipe Snake”), Tropidophiidae (“dwarf boas”), Uropeltidae (“shield-tail snakes”), Anomochilidae (“dwarf pipesnakes”), Cylindrophiidae (“Asian pipesnakes”), Xenopeltidae (“sunbeam snakes”), Loxocemidae (“Mexican Python”), Pythonidae (pythons), Boidae (“boas”), Xenophidiidae (“spinejaw snakes”), Bolyeriidae (“Round Island boas”), Acrochordidae (“wart snakes”), Xenodermidae (“odd-scaled snakes”, “Borneo Red Snake”, “Dragon Snake”, and kin), Pareidae (“slug and snail-eating snakes”), Viperidae (vipers), Homalopsidae (“Indo-Australian water snakes”), Colubridae (colubrid snakes), Lamprophiidae (“house snakes”), and Elapidae (elapid snakes).

As this order is so diverse it would be hard to summarize their anatomy and behavior in one paragraph. Squamates have 4 legs ancestrally, but many groups have secondarily lost one pair or all of their legs. Some of these groups retain vestigial hind limbs beneath their skin. They can be herbivorous or carnivorous, lay eggs or give live birth, be terrestrial, fossorial, arboreal, semi-aquatic, or fully aquatic. Some utilize a flattened body or flaps of skin to glide. Some lack teeth, some have one or more teeth, and some have teeth designed for injecting venom. Venom, used in hunting and sometimes defense, evolved early in ambush predators of the clades Caenophidia, Anguimorpha, and Iguania, before the three groups split. It can be delivered via specialized fangs or saliva. Squamates “smell” via chemoreception, taking in scent particles on their tongue and transferring them to the Jacobson’s organ on the roof of their mouth, which then sends the information to the brain. Thus, when a squamate flicks its tongue in and out of its mouth, it is “taste-smelling” the air.

Squamata and Rhynchocephalia form the superorder Lepidosauria, which is the sister group to Archosauria, the clade that contains crocodilians and birds. As rhynchocephalians first appeared in the Early Triassic, the lineage leading to squamates must have also existed at the time. The oldest known squamate ancestor is Megachirella, which existed in the Middle Triassic. The oldest unambiguous fossils of squamates date to the Middle Jurassic, with the first appearance of many modern groups during this period.

Propaganda under the cut:

Many groups, such as the blind skinks and blind snakes, have greatly reduced eyes covered by a scale. These eyes can only sense light and dark. They have little need for eyes though, as they burrow underground and utilize their sense of smell and hearing to perceive the world.

Male squamates have hemipenes (two penises linked together), which are usually held inverted within their bodies, and are everted for reproduction via erectile tissue like a mammalian penis. Only one is used at a time, and some evidence indicates that males alternate use between copulations. Stay tuned for more Penis Facts™.

Snakes, the most recent suborder of lizards, are thought to have evolved from burrowing lizards during the Cretaceous Period. One of the most basal known snakes, Najash rionegrina, was a two-legged burrowing snake from the Late Cretaceous. However, snakes are not the only lizards to have lost their legs, and many other families seem to be following in their footsteps… or lack thereof.

The smallest squamate, and the smallest known reptile, is the Jaragua Sphaero (Sphaerodactylus ariasae), also known as the Jaragua Dwarf Gecko. The Jaragua Sphaero measures 14–18 mm (0.55–0.71 in) from the snout to the base of the tail and can fit on a US quarter. It has an average weight of 0.13 g.

Meanwhile, the longest squamate is the Reticulated Python (Malayopython reticulatus), which can grow up to 6.5 m (21.4 ft), and weigh up to 75 kg (165 lb). This upper range is rare, however. It is surpassed in weight by the Green Anaconda (Eunectes murinus) which can weigh up to 80 kg (176 lb), the Komodo Dragon (Varanus komodoensis) which can weigh up to 150 kg (330 lb), and the Burmese Python (Python bivittatus) with a record weight of 182.8 kg (403 lb) in one captive individual.

The largest squamates in history were the mosasaurs, a clade of lizards within the suborder Anguimorpha, which also includes the beaded lizards, legless lizards, monitor lizards, and others. These fully aquatic lizards were adapted for a life at sea, and ranged from the 1 m (3.3 ft) long Dallasaurus turneri, to the 12 meter (39 ft) long apex predator Mosasaurus hoffmannii.

Though they survived the Cretaceous–Paleogene extinction event, many squamate species are now endangered due to habitat loss, hunting, the pet trade, invasive species, and other anthropogenic causes. Because of this, some squamate species have recently become extinct. Breeding programs exist in many zoos, both to retain reservoir populations and to boost populations in the wild through releases. Unfortunately, not every species is charismatic, and it can be hard to get the public invested and involved in squamate conservation.

[cryptratfromrunescape]

cretures by dumbness (this is a joke all creatures are amaszig)

sea sponge: 0!!! NO BRAIN!!! IT DONT EVEN MOVE!!! IDIOT CREATURE!!!

starfish: 0.005 barely even creature it so silly and dumb

leech: 0.01 evil parasitic creaturrr

sea slug: 0.018 pretty shell, but no brain

fruit fly: 0.15 it lives so short no time to get smart

ant: 0.25 they do not think, but are very good at being ant.

honey bee: 0.96 ALMOST THERE!! BUT still stupid insect creatur!!

cockroach: 1 they skitter they survive they tough

common house gecko: 3.9 skjsgjk stick its little tongue out

guppy: 4.3 dumbest fish evar, so smol no room for brain

sand lizard: 4.3 tiny lizard, tiny brain

crested gecko: 5.4 no thoughts, head empy

brown water snake: slister slither

leopard gecko: 8.08 thick tail stores knowledge

greek tortoiouse: 8.5 thick shell wise turtle not that wise

tokay gecko: 8.8 it screams, for it knows nothing

russian tortoise: 9.008 it knows secrets. it forgot.

corn snake: 10.6 slister slister

rainbow boa: 11.08 it not smart, but it can still kill you

common snapping turtle: 13.6 bite bite

painted turtle 14.3 who put paint on this turtle

frog: 16. ribbit.

boa constrictor: 19.7 every spot on its body is another smart point

yellow anaconda: 20.03 slither squeez

major skink: 24.1 skinky

naked mole rat: 26.8 first mammal on the list, it look stupid

green iguana: 29.09, haha even a lizard is smarter then the naked mole rat.

gold tegu: 31.3 valuable

smoky shrew: 36, it burrows. it need not be smart.

short tailed shrew: 52, smarter, but why?

pig-nosed turtle: 53.02 what a smart turtle!!

house mouse: 71, squeak!

asian water monitor: 78.2 big lizard, bigger brain.

king quail: 80.4 our first, (and dumbest) bird

nile crocidile: 80.5 why croc need to be so smart?

heart nosed bat: 81 Our first bat!!

diamond dove: 81.8 makes pretty noises

golden hamster: 90, it might be able to learn something!

common quail: 117.7, much smarter then its king

hairy tailed mole: 124, the smart is in the tail

star nosed mole: 131, strange creature!!

zebra finch: 131, not as smart as a real zebra...

goldcrest: 164, im running out of things to say about these animals

grey partrige: 170.2 is he in a pear tree?

brown rat: 200, i have heard they are smart, i guess it is not true.

eastern mole: 204, it is a mole (what do you want me to say)

great tit: 226 haha tit

guinea pig: 240

common wood pidgeon: 261

hammer headed bat: 275 not too smart, i guess someone hit it's head with a hammer

wood duck: 305.8

pidgeon: 310 smarter then a rat

budgeregar: 322 dumbest pet bird

mallard: 367

common blackbird: 379

marbled duck: 386.9 we sure are getting a lot of ducks

ferret: 404 error

cockatiel: 453, smart for a bird, but dumb overall

grey squirrel: 453.6

banded mongoose: 454

prairie dog: 473.9

common starling: 483

wild turkey: 492.8

european rabbit: 494.2

octopus: 500 smartest sea creture!!!

indian peafowl: 570.9

little owl: 585.9 not a lot of room in there for brain

common kestrel: 624.5

common marmoset: 636

eastern rosella: 542

barn owl: 690

cat: 760, sorry everyone who thought their cat was super smart

magpie: 897 smarter then a cat

western jackdaw: 968

long eared owl: 991.3 almost at a thousand

mute swan: 1001

common buzzard: 1001

black vulture: 1009

greater rhea: 1030

earasian jay: 1085

racooon dog: 1160

emu: 1335 for such a smart creature, it sure acts dumb

rook: 1509

grey parrot: 1566, some people think this is the smartest bird. it is not.

tawny owl: 1580

capybara: 1600

common ostrich: 1620

jackal: 1730

snowy owl: 1807 i didnt know owls were so smart

fox: 2011 i guess foxes arent as clever as we thought

racoon: 2148

kea: 2149

raven: 2171 still not the smartest bird

pig: 2220

chihuahua: 2510

chow chow: 2610

yorkshire terrier: 2640

springbok: 2720

blue and yellow macaw: 3136 SEE i TOLD you there was a smarter bird!

common squirrel monkey: 3246

german shepard: 3530 what a smart pupper!

striped hyena: 3885 but this is an even smarter pupper

lion: 4667 leagues beyond a house cat

brown bear: 9586

giraffe: 10,750

yellow baboon: 10,950

chimpanzee: 28,000 and its our closest living ancestor!

orangutan: 32,600

gorilla: 33,400

human: 86,000

african elephant: 257,000