#hinata is abnormal about kageyama in every universe...

[kagehiner]

i wish you would share with us your dark drafts on the pilot someday. and then turn it into a fic

haii my loveliest pookie this is 4 you..... this takes place right after Kageyama storms out and Daichi has a talk with Hinata ↓

The tires scrape loudly against concrete as Hinata halts the bike to a stop, watching as Kageyama drinks the fresh air. He ran pretty far, Hinata just catched up to him a minute ago, which reminds of what Daichi said about Kageyama and jogging.

“So even you get out of breath, hm, Kageyama-kun?”

“What?” Kageyama barks, fanning himself with his jacket. It made him look like a bird flapping its wings.

His heart is still brimming after that talk. It would be stupid to imply that Hinata knows Kageyama just after a few days of volleyball practice, but after everything Daichi said so far, it finally clicked. When Kageyama recruited him that day, shouting his request from the first floor like a madman, Hinata had thought the volleyball club must've been desperate. Enough to go out grabbing anyone by the scruff and telling them to spike out of the blue, going as far as expecting them to do it right. It's stupid. It's reckless. But Kageyama was smiling, and he had this aura about him that sparked in his eyes whenever he spoke.

So he found himself leaping and swinging his arm into nothing but air for hours, tiring his body out more than he ever did in gym class, the high of that compliment draining by the hour. Kageyama was loud and mean, yelling at him in such a way that had no resemblance to the boy who asked him to play just a few hours before. Volleyball wasn't that fun and Hinata barely made contact with the ball unless it fell into his head. He even threw up a little. Fully expecting to never go back, and daring God to intervene, Hinata sat outside wondering why he even followed Kageyama at all.

Daichi sat beside him, and Hinata just vomited every thought on his head. In hindsight, he didn't know these people and owed them no explanation if he ever wanted to quit, but they had no obligation to accept him either. And they did, no matter how mildly hostile the atmosphere was. So he talked.

He might've quit if it wasn't for Daichi encouraging words and insight on the harsh setter's intentions. To have that kind of trust on a complete stranger like Hinata; it sounded alien. But good. It felt good to hear.

“Why did you follow me?” Kageyama asks.

For a second, Hinata thinks they might be wondering the same thing. But Kageyama looks a bit pissed, like whatever is in his head couldn't just disappear by jogging it away. “Captain said to call you back inside. Practice is still on.”

“Worry about yourself. You do realize there's a practice match tomorrow, right?” Kageyama dismisses. “No matter what Tanaka says, you're playing!”

It's only been about a week, but Hinata learned to map out Kageyama's features a little bit. He is always sporting an ugly frown, but his eyes are clear. The insults he throws around carelessly aren't worth retorting. He is harsh, but believes in him. And Kageyama might've shared tidbits of his love for volleyball, but Hinata doesn't yet know why he's so obsessed with it apart from the thrill of winning.

Hinata digs his nails into his palms, speaking to the ground but hoping his words reach Kageyama. “I’m a newbie, and I keep dragging the team down. Half of them wish I never joined. And I don't think I'm skilled enough to play tomorrow,” Hinata says. “I’ll just mess up and cause problems for everyone else… Then we'll drift even further from victory.” He can sense that Kageyama wants to interject, so he raises his head so quickly it hurts. “I think—I might not even like volleyball. I, uh, I got so excited when you believed in me, and I thought maybe I could do this. But you can't do what you can't do. I'm not… like you,” Hinata grits out, ignoring how his voice wavers pathetically. “I can't just summon confidence and do it!”

Kageyama is peering at him openly, his bangs pushed aside gently by the breeze. Still frowning, the setter opens his mouth as if to speak, most likely something unnecessarily crude and mean. But Hinata hops on his bike once again and pedals away, the wind cooling his cheeks as he groans.

That was not what he meant to say at all.

Hinata stares at nondescript patterns on the ceiling while the disquiet of his heart prevents him from sleeping. Flashes of his one-sided conversation with Kageyama keep popping up in his head. He recoils in the dark while remembering how riled up he got, yelling out with boiling hot tears pooling on the corners of his eyes.

When Hinata ran to get his bike and catch up to Kageyama, that was not the interaction he reversed over and over until he saw the setter's shadowy figure. Something about Kageyama's hunched over form, panting wildly with dry lips; it frustrated him. The fact that Kageyama was affected enough to run away, how he didn't fight him, and the way his eyes softened. It felt like Hinata didn't know who he was at all, which he doesn't. But somehow it seemed as though a layer of Kageyama's walls had lowered just enough to see past it. The fear and frustration boiling up behind them mirroring Hinata's pathetic excuse of a will to fight.

Hinata sighs. Tomorrow will be the first time they'll all play together in an actual game, even if it's just a practice match... People will be expecting something from him he fears he can't measure up to. Kageyama sure is underestimating him. What Tanaka said is true: all he can do is jump high.

So he will. He may be cowardly and pathetic, but he can jump, and that's all Kageyama is realistically asking of him. Everything else just melts into noise as he closes his weary eyes.