#how dare common folk /j

[ghostbsuter]

Twins, minus the Demon (Part 1)

.・゜-: ✧ :-

When Damian and Danyal were created, it was not to become the League's successors, but to be the children for the trio to raise.

It didn't work, eveyrhting shattered when Ra's Al Ghul found out about the heirs.

Their Umi, Talia, went back to the League when the two were taken, Mother and Father none the wiser.

And so, they were trained carefully beneath the watchful eye of their grandfather.

Until they were 10.

Talia, Umi, revolved against the leader of the league and sent her boys to Gotham. She kickstarted a war with a battle cry, holding her sword up and chin never lowered.

Knowing Umi would be back, because she always did come back, they separated and planned.

Damian left with Father, Danyal with Mother.

Neither knew of the other, lest they ruin the suprise after all.

Like cats on a mission, truly.

—

Studying his self-proclaimed blood son, he noticed with sadness that he had Talias eyes, her tan, and walked just like her.

Yet he also reminded him of Selina, with the swiftness of a cat, eyes never straying and only satisfied when succeeded. He mildly notes he had her unruly curls with amusement.

He was a mix of demon and cat, but also with the spice of bat.

Stubborn like him, never backing down and always fighting.

He wonders why Talia left them, hiding a secret child along.

The spot for Robin was free, Tim having renamed himself with a new hero alias and finally flying from the nest.

Bruce should tell Selina, with his new Robin by his side.

—

While the man mourned, Selina had been enlightened when her eyes met his.

It was bittersweet in a way, to know the woman you loved had hidden a child from her and Bruce, but it also brought hope.

Because wherever talia was, this, this proves she didn't leave for nothing.

Selina sees the similarities between her and Danyal, he was quick-witted, let his emotions in the moment lead, and loves just as fierce as Talia does.

She also sees his hair curl just like her own, blue eyes that can only be from Bruce, lighter in shade than Talia is and with the matching paranoia of the bat included.

And she sent her son to her.

Their son.

Because she couldn't take care of him right now, something happened, and it forced her hand and focused on protecting the child first.

It meant one day, she would come back.

To her, to them.

She needs to introduce him to Bruce.

—

While Robin had his fair time as vigilante sidekick, Ragdoll robbed the rich and made sure to tease the other as much as possible.

It wasn't until they met, that the light was flipped and the truth revealed.

(For being such a old guy, Danyal really tips his head to Dick, the guy figured him out in a second, not far behind was Tim.)

(He really should have concealed his eyes, would have been more fun.)

They met on a rooftop, Catwoman leaning on a gargoyle as her little helper stood by her side.

(Catwoman wasn't fooled as easy, it took just a few longer glances that she'd figured out the switch.)

The bat's and birds on the other side, and soon enough, Batman gestures to his Robin, who steps forward.

Mirroring the bird, so did the cat.

"This is Robin." He introduces, and selina bites her laughter back, because–

That's her boy, or apparently, one of her boys.

"Ragdoll." She gives a fleeing smile, tilting her head to her apprentice.

"Okay, so, Nightwing, Red Robin and Black Bat immediately figured it out." Robin speaks up, two firm grips on his costume, and one tug has him dressed as his cat counterpart. He seems sheepish.

(Dick in particular is leaning forward with a wide grin, dragged behind him is Jason, interested but stubborn.)

"Tt," Ragdoll throws his own costume away, revealing Robin. "You need more practice. It took catwoman only 3 hours. I win."

The boy walks forward to his twins side, it seemed to amuse catwoman even more.

"Nuh uh! Technically speaking Batman didn't even know!"

Both pointedly look at the clad in black outfit wearing man, frozen stiff and looking between the two.

"Really, father?" Another 'tt' and Robin grumbles. "Fine, I'll take you to the stupid milkshake cafe."

Cheering, Ragdoll is throwing his arms around Robin's neck, dangling in front of his, the older twin having a secure grip on the black collar, lest Ragdoll fall.

"I get my milkshake!" Robin only seems more exasperated at his behaviour, shaking his head.

With delight and literally vibrating from his spot, Nightwing jumped at the two, staring between them with curiosity.

With his lead, so did the other birds and bats, teasing and playfully giving them head pats.

"Twins?" Batman's gruff voice breaks through the little gathering they have.

"Yes, father." The firstborn easily replies, the second only following behind. "Umi didn't want to overwhelm you and Catwoman when she sent us here. Don't be mad?"

"Now that we're talking about this, neither explained your circumstances nor why now?" She nears them with her cat like dance, slipping next to Batman and leaning into his side.

Both twins share a look.

"Umi was adamant that we'd meet and get along first before bringing in our situation." Robin explains, his voice is steady yet unsure in the way only a child with recent loss could sound.

"It's not that she didn't trust you," Ragdoll explains to Batman when the man looked like he wanted to interject. "Umi knew you'd help us regardless of our blood connection."

They share another look, one fiddles with his hands, the other having a steady grip on his hilt.

"This is no conversation for anyone to hear, we can't risk being found because we slacked off in security."

The twin wearing leather and cat ears snorts, mischief twinkling, and jumping forward to give Red Robin a pat on the chest.

A smile only a cat could wear takes over, and with joy he hollers. "Tag! Your it!"

Not even a second later, he was thrown over Robins shoulder and both skedaddled to the cave.

"Tt, truly experts, to freeze like that on a rooftop. Assassins could have easily killed all of you in that moment."

Robins tease echoes through the comm and causes them all to unfreeze.

With a huff of laughter, Red Hood pushed Nightwing to RR as sacrifice and bolted after the twins.

A yelp and Nightwing was swiftly tagged, RR disappearing with Spoiler in tow.

When he searches for a target, both Batman and Catwoman are already gone.

"Aw man."

—

In the end, Robin comfortably sits at the chair in front of the batcomputer, Ragdoll on the arm rest with his legs tossed out on the others lap.

"You guys are so slow!"

As the other mile around, Damian and Dnyal exchange hushed whispers, only drawn out when Batman urges them by clearing his throat.

"Okay, this won't be easy," Danny drawls the words, fumbling with Damians hair instead.

The other scowls but does nothing else. "First of all, Umi did not leave you willingly." He speaks loud and clear, mask off and staring at Bat and Cat.

"She never planned on leaving, but complications arose with our birth."

Smiling nervous, Danny takes over.

"You're familiar with our grandfather, yes?" At the nods, he grimaces. "When he heard he had potential heirs, he kidnapped us once born. Umi had to follow immediately, lest one of us dies because grandfather wasn't careful."

"She couldn't exactly flee either, with two toddlers, so what she could do, she did. It might not have been the best childhood, but umi did her best!"

While the children of the bat stay mostly silent, Bruce, without cowl, and Selina don't.

"Why now? Why did she send you two at 10?"

Damian drums his fingers on the others legs laid out on him, humming.

"On our 10th birthday, Grandfather gave us a rather... peculiar mission." He winces at the explanation, those words bring no truth of the situation to light.

"What akhi means, we're twins." Dnany holds up two fingers. "Two people, one destiny. Grandfather did not like that two remained, seeing as only one can become the next Demon head."

Someone took a sharp intake of air somewhere, he can't really focus, the memories are not pleasant ones he'd get reminded of.

"Umi didn't let it happen," Damian drawls, massaging Danyal's fingers with bored expression, the forced nonchalance doesn't fool anyone.

"She swung her sword and declared war on grandfather. It was the start of a civil war in the league, dangerous to us for we were still known as heirs."

Danny meets Selinas eyes. "Umi didn't just send us here because of the chance, it was also for protection. With groups joining the civil war for the throne, some might have the idea to kill off the heirs, us in this situation."

A wince and he starts blabbering. "Not that I'd like to die in the next few hours, or days, or weeks, or—"

"You're rambling, daynal."

"Sorry akhi."

With a wave of his hand, Batman nods at the rest of the bat's and birds, they leave to continue patrol.

Silence in the cave, only interrupted by drops of water and the clicks of the bat's above them.

"Thank you." Her voice is soft as she walks to them, heels clicking on the ground. Her gloved hands ruffle the ebony hair of the two and brings them into a hug.

"We will protect you, love you and wait for Umi to come back," Selina declares with careful words, nails running through thick curly hair.

Damian and Danyal can't argue otherwise, the other not as comfortable as his counterpart with the hug, but leaning in neverless.

This will be a journey, neither parents having had twins before and growing back closer with them.

(When talia left, Bruce and Selina grew apart. It brought tension they'd ignore in publics eye, vulnerable moments only for the other to see and so much mourning.)

(Talia is not back, but her children are. Their children. Wonderful twins that will stomp and smash the tension between them and bring back what Talia took.)

(They cannot wait for the day their third will rejoin them.)

[the-self-indulgent-corner]

Genshin Characters x a reader with adhd (part two!)

Summary: Your adhd may be strange, but you're convinced your (boy/girl) friend is stranger despite that.

Or, how the genshin characters react to a reader with ADHD. (Ft some lesser known aspects of ADHD)

Featuring: Hu Tao, Collei, Cyno. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Collei, I wrote hers only platonically)

A/n: Hey it's me again after *checks notes* about nine months. Whoops.

I don't have any crazy stories I just lost inspiration. Truth be told I had 2/3 of this already written out mostly but lost inspo and also time so it was kinda left in the drafts for a while. And I only finished writing it today with minimal proofreading so if there's mistakes no there isn't-

Anyways, you don't need to read part one to understand this, but as I said before I do use some more less known features of adhd in these hcs so i'm putting a general index of what they mean here. It's not a perfect summary but it'll give you a general idea of what it means.

And disclaimer! While I do have adhd, not everyone's adhd is the same. So what's common for me might be super uncommon for other folks with adhd and vise versa. So don't take this index or hcs as verbatim and do your own research if you don't know about something!

Index:

Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis: Wanting to do your job/work, but it feels like you’re physically unable to.

Food sensory issues/selective eating habits: A lot of people with ADHD are ‘picky eaters’ and refuse to eat certain foods even if it's good for them. Usually we pick foods with high sugar since it causes a ‘dopamine surge’.

Auditory processing disorder (APD): Having difficulty making out what someone is saying or processing what someone said too slowly.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Being much more sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection.

Verbal stim: Exactly the same as other stims (Like bouncing your leg or clicking a pen) but just with words. Usually being a certain phrase, sentence or singing, although any vocalization can be a verbal stim. 

Time blindness: Becoming so engrossed in something that many hours can pass when it felt like a much shorter amount of time.

Intrusive thoughts: unwanted disturbing thoughts and ideas that come to mind randomly. Can either be mildly unnerving to totally distressing.

Now with that word vomit out of the way, onto the hcs!

Hu Tao

Y'all can't tell me this girl also doesn't have ADHD. 

Once you tell Hu Tao about your ADHD she'll go "ayo that sounding kinda familiar 🤨"

Whether or not she has ADHD is up to the court to decide but NONETHELESS Hu Tao can absolutely relate to at least a few of these.

Impulsive? Check. Stimming? Check. Time blindness? Check. 

(Society not liking how you act? Check. /J)

If Hu Tao hasn't already latched onto some of your stims she definitely will after you tell her, even if she doesn't realize it right away LOL

You also steal some of hers <3 like her idle animation with the hillichurl song?? Yeah that. 

You two don't even notice it until someone (probably Zhongli) points it out.

The amount of times you two impulsively went out is kinda impressive tbh. Either one of you will be like 'hey are you busy?' And if the other says no they're dragged off somewhere LMAO

You two always have fun though

She’s good at helping you out but her ways are kinda unorthodox 

If your executive dysfunction or smthn is acting up girl will literally just. Pick you up and bring you where you need to.

“What? You need help getting somewhere and I can help! Besides, you said having others around helps you work, right?”

Stop being right about this Hu Tao how dare you /j

Really tho girl can and will just. Pick you up to get you to do something/go somewhere LMAO. Only stops if you get genuinely upset by it.

And while she’s good at helping you she’s also a bit 50/50 on what she does help you with.

If it's actively hurting you in some way she'd absolutely stop it, but if it's a bit more hehe silly goofy she'd prob just do it with you

Don't like this texture of food? Yeah her neither, let's get something else. Found something shiny and now you're distracted? She's looking at the shiny thing with you. 

If you mask/Your ADHD isn't very obvious people would view you as the one who keeps Hu Tao in check which, depending on what kind of person you are, could be true but it's much better imo if you both are equally as strange

Stranger: Oh, you'll keep Hu Tao in check, right?

You, about to do the same thing as her: Yeah of course!

Tbf even if you did try to keep everything in line Hu Tao has a way to always convince you to do it her/another way instead. She knows how to trick you.

You fall for it each time 😔

"Wait. We aren't supposed to be here! We have to go to-"

"Too late! We're already here! May as well have fun!!"

If you're playful like her you two love to tease each other all the time. The amount of inside jokes y'all have is insane

As long as you're fine with it you two try to one up embarrassing each other in other people's presence LMAO

"Hey, 'Tao, remember that one time when you-"

"If you're talking about the knuckleback incident then it's not even half as embarrassing as that time you-"

This can go on for days.

You two have a relationship not many understand but it doesn't really bother either of you. As long as you're both happy you couldn't care less.

You two are little freaks of society /lh 

Although, if you're also a bit of a troublemaker like Hu Tao, y'all turn into team rocket. Prepare for trouble and make it double fr

"Hey, y/n! You'll never guess what I just found!"

"Whatever it is, it better have the ability to mess with someone."

"It does!" 

"Perfect."

The people of Liyue often wonder how you two have that much energy. 

Hu Tao is a pretty good listener and loves to hear whatever you want to talk/rant about.

Probably the best person out of this list to rant about your hyper fixation to because girl will match your energy even if she doesn't care/knows nothing about it. If it's important to you, it's important to her!

You'd be stimming happily talking about it and she'd be doing the same; not to mock you but because if you're excited she's excited too and also needs to let out that energy 

Even if you're talking at 2x speed, she somehow keeps up with all of it. 

She also likes when you space out because it becomes 10x easier to scare you back into reality. She can’t help herself. What can she say?

“Boo~!”

“Ah! Hu Tao!? Why!”

“You were spacing out! Cmon, we can find something better to do besides staring at a wall all day.”

“... Who do you want to prank?”

“I'm so glad you asked!”

You're preoccupied for the rest of the day.

Collei

You 🤝 Collei

BEING NEURODUVERGENT/HAVING A MENTAL DISABILITY 

Even though ADHD and PTSD are nothing alike, girlie is still so happy she's found a kindred soul who personally understands (at least some of) what she has to deal with that many others don't. 

I'ma be real with you tho I don't think Collei really knew what ADHD was before she met you lmao

I feel like at most she's heard the term but not much beyond that. With that said though I don't think she'd have any preconceived notions on what ADHD entails, she's prob the easiest to explain your disability to honestly.

She also hears you explain some symptoms and is like ‘hey wait… Some of this sounds familiar to me!'

She actually confides in you quite a bit because of this. usually about her the lesser known aspects of her PTSD. It's usually the parts she feels bad about telling Tighnari, things like intrusive thoughts. 

She probably thought she was a terrible person for thinking that, unaware that intrusive thoughts are, well, intrusive. Once she tells you about them you tell her about yours as well and probably have to explain that it doesn't make her a bad person. 

Although a good bit of you and her talking about your guys mental disabilities is just that spider man pointing meme since quite a few things overlap LMAO

“Oh! So you say some things repetitively, too? I thought only I did that!”

“Yeah! I have a lot of vocal stims, honestly. Like one where I- Uh… you good, Collei? You look kind of confused.”

“Vocal stims…?”

Despite relating to quite a few things and already knowing she has a mental disability she's completely in the dark about more nuanced things than the standard. You'll have to teach her some things about it 😭

Although some things she's a bit lost on, she's got the spirit!

She can be a bit awkward about the things she doesn't relate to, though. She doesn't mean to be! But this is uncharted territory for her, and she's not quite sure what to say at times. After that initial phase of uncertainty though she sees it's not as scary/intimidating as it sounds on paper.

For example you'll tell her of your executive dysfunction and she'll get so nervous and absolutely blow out of proportion how bad it is/looks but when she once catches you just laying around while you were meant to/want to work she's like ‘oh, that's not as bad as I thought.’

She definitely tries to help you if you need it though. If you had food sensitivity issues she would prob try to make foods you dislike taste better. 

(Even if it failed you appreciate the attempt she made.)

You also teach her how to manage some of her own habits as well by sharing your own tricks. 

Some work perfectly and she's forever grateful you told her about it, but others completely flop.

(Even for those that don't work, she also appreciates that you tried.)

Sometimes though, she's completely flabbergasted by your antics lmao. 

She’ll see you working on something new and asks you about it, to which you respond in 2x speed about how you went down a rabbit hole these past few days and now are trying to learn a completely new skill from scratch and she lost you after your second sentence.

“Okay so basically a couple of days ago I saw this person who was making some pottery and I thought about how cool that was, so I looked into it and-” 

“Wh-what…?”

Girlie means the best but she's so confused 😭 by the end of your tangent she's giving hesitant encouragement because while she has no clue what you're doing or why you seem to be having fun at least. 

But honestly Collei worries about you sometimes, but that's more because she's anxious and even if she's been around you for years can probably never fully get used to your antics lmao. 

She's worried that others will see you as weird since at times you can be so unapologetic with your ADHD and worries you won't fit in.

She's too sweet. 

You always reassure her that even if that did happen, you wouldn't want to be friends with people who think you being yourself was weird or a bad thing.

If you keep this up you're going to completely rewire Collei’s brain. 

You probably inspire Collei quite a bit. She's a shy person so seeing you so open with your disability (and helping Collei with hers as well) makes her look up to you a little. She thinks it's so cool you can be so upfront and honest about it without really worrying about what others think of it. 

At some point, Tighnari pulls you aside and thanks you for being her friend. You helped her by just being someone who can relate to and understand her in some way, something that he can't do. Showing her that no, she isn't less than just because of a disability.

Congrats you officially joined the family.

“Ah, y/n! There you are! I um, have been meaning to give this to you… it's a plush of that character you like a lot! You've helped me a lot so I… wanted to give this to you as thanks! I-I hope you like it!”

Cyno

Congrats Cyno for being the only one on this list to know what ADHD is besides just knowing it exists!!!!!!

Fr tho I think Cyno knows a good bit about ADHD, like how it ties into other mental disabilities, sensory issues or even things like going non verbal… but at the same time he falls for a lot of the misinformation/generalizations about it as well 💀💀💀

If you mask well, he absolutely will not be able to tell you had ADHD. Completely unaware of it LMAO. But he's trying, give him a break.

It might even take a bit longer to explain to him since you have to correct any misinformation he has about it unlike the others who come in with mostly a blank slate. 

Like, no Cyno, not everyone is super hyper. No, not everyone is unable to sit still. No, some of us can mask. No, we aren't all connected to the ground itself- where'd you even hear that from!?

He grasps onto it pretty quickly though, and he remembers everything you say about it. And by extension, how it affects you specifically. 

“You shouldn't buy that.”

“?? Why?”

“It has that material you dislike the texture of in it.”

“Oh shit I didn't notice-”

Tbh Cyno is probably one of the best people to help with your ADHD since he's so observant. He’ll recognize when you're about to hit your sensory limit, remind you to do things you forget, and even helps you when your executive dysfunction is acting up. 

Although Cyno isn't perfect at everything and… honestly, you'll probably lose him at a couple parts.

He doesn't mean to be rude or anything, but some parts he just genuinely does not get. 

That doesn't mean he doesn't respect them or anything, but like when he hears you talk about verbal stims he’ll both think ‘huh that's kinda weird how they have certain vocalizations they like to say I don't think I've heard of that before’ and ‘it's cool they feel safe enough around me to tell me that I wonder what their vocal stims are’ simultaneously. 

Mans doesn't fully understand why you do some of the things you do (and tbf you don't either) but he also doesn't care as long as you're happy.

And while he's a great help, you can't forget that this is Cyno. Since he's helping you so much you know there's only one way to pay him back…

It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!

That's right he forces you to play tcg with him LMAO.

He doesn't really care if you've never played before or not, he will lend you his cards and teach you right then and there if he must.

And if he gets you hooked on it? (or you already are hooked on it) Oh boy-

You two could battle each other for hours, you both probably have before. Cyno is so happy to have someone who likes the game as much as he does tbh. Even if you're not a pro, he still enjoys the battles. 

And if you are a pro, then you may just confuse everyone else around you with your in depth conversations about the most optional strategies and best support cards. 

But if you're not talking about and/or playing TCG, he'd love to hear about your current hyperfixations. He can keep up with you if you talk at 2x speed so don't be afraid to go crazy with it lmao.

He’ll listen attentively and even ask questions about it every now and then, but he tends to keep quiet when you talk about your own interests. Content to just listen to you ramble on and on. 

However with all this new information about your hyperfixation you've given him you accidentally made a monster. Because now that he knows how it works/what it's about, Cyno is going to make bad dad jokes about it and you can't stop him.

When he sees you again he'll tell you his new greatest joke about your hyperfixation. 

“So you remember when you info dumped about that book series to me yesterday?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“*Pulls out a written list* okay so I've got some new jokes about it and-”

Please he's SUCH a dork. Laugh at them he’ll be so happy about it.

He’ll be even more happy if you make your own jokes/add onto his. You literally just made this mans whole month with that. 

Cyno may even repeat these jokes to others if your hyperfixation is something well known.

Cyno will also probably find himself repeating some of your own stims (verbal and non verbal) too. Generally he only does your quiet/silent ones, (quiet humming, tapping a pen, clenching and unclenching his fists, etc…) 

I like to think that once or twice he repeated one of your more bizarre vocal stims and then just. Didn't elaborate.

He probably won't even notice himself doing it until someone else points it out. He doesn't mind it though, just probably was surprised he did it at all lol.

At first Cyno would probably see your ADHD antics as strange (and to an extent, he still kinda does lol) but takes it in stride. As said before he's of the mindset of ‘as long as they're happy and not hurting anyone I don't mind.’

After a while though it definitely grew on him lmao. Now he actively initiates conversations about it to better understand you and your adhd. 

If you ever feel upset about your ADHD he's kinda shocked because you probably never mentioned it before. Def the type to listen to your worries and calmly yet rationally tell you how that's actually not as bad as you think it is. Besides, you have like a thousand other redeeming qualities, so what if you can't always pay attention? Who else is Cyno going to duel with on a random Saturday afternoon?

… Yet even after learning all this about ADHD, he's still going to come to you asking weird questions.

“Y/n, is it true that people with ADHD like shiny things?”

“Cyno, that's every human.”

“Oh.”

He tries his best, okay?

Ending note: Annnnnd that's a wrap! Sorry if this one is shorter/less detailed than the last one but i'm tired. However if I don't do this now I probably won't post it later because of a lack of confidence oof. Anyways thanks for reading this far and I hope you liked it!

Also what characters do u think I should do next if any?

[my-weird-news]

🔥 Oppenheimer: From Nukes to Trending! 😮

Nuclear Nonsense: A Comedy of Catastrophic Proportions Before the bomb, humanity's knack for destruction was like a sitcom that only non-humans were allowed to participate in. We're talking floods, plagues, and divine acts of cleanup on aisle Earth. Sure, we could picture Mother Nature throwing tantrums and nature's fury causing chaos, but when it came to ending the show, our role was more like a forgettable side character. No button-pushing villain who could bring down the curtain on the human race in a snap. Oh, but then along came nuclear power, and suddenly we were handed the detonator to blow up entire cities like oversized birthday cakes. Scientists, in their infinite wisdom, realized we could even accidentally set the sky ablaze while trying to flex our newfound atomic muscles. It was like giving a toddler a bazooka and hoping they wouldn't blow up the living room. And guess what? Pandora's box just threw in the towel. J. Robert Oppenheimer, the brain behind the bomb, exclaimed, "I'm now Death, the cosmic party pooper!" (Okay, maybe he said it with more gravity, but you get the gist.) Imagine the shock! Anyone from Joe Schmo to Jane Doe suddenly had the potential to turn us all into cosmic confetti. Existential crisis level: expert mode. We're talking not just the fear of instant doom but also a sense that the universe had run amok. With a deity, you could kneel and beg for mercy. But human beings? We all know how stubbornly ludicrous we can be. Even if you tried to shove thoughts of global obliteration under the mental rug, you'd be stuck with a permanent itch of anxiety, like that one popcorn kernel wedged in your teeth after the movies. Speaking of movies, Hollywood's always been the ultimate therapy couch for our fears. The bomb and its bombastic world waltzed back into our cinematic spotlight, from "Manhattan" to "Asteroid City" to "Oppenheimer: The Sequel." But this is a dance that's been going on since forever. No surprise that during the Cold War, the era of bomb-tastic paranoia, filmmakers were on a destruction binge—like Black Friday shoppers at an apocalypse megastore. Take "Fail Safe" (1964), for instance, a film where technological fiascos and nuclear whoopsies lead to an explosion of international proportions. The characters debate if wiping out the world is the ultimate way to evict Communism from the party. But hold onto your fallout shelters, because computers mess up and suddenly it's raining nukes on innocent folks. Cold War cinema was all about serious pondering of human folly, but then there's "Dr. Strangelove" (1964), Kubrick's laugh-out-loud lesson that the end of the world might just be thanks to some very anxious, very, um, inadequately equipped men. Flash-forward to the '80s. Movies like "The Day After" and "Threads" kept the nuclear anxiety fire burning. Even Japan got in on the action, producing atomic-inspired epics like "Godzilla" (not the one where he battles a pizza delivery guy, though). Amidst all the doom and gloom, some films dared to tease the edge of sanity without tumbling into the abyss. "WarGames" (1983), a tale of teenage hackers and their accidental playdate with Armageddon, stole Reagan's heart, because who doesn't enjoy a little close call with global extinction? Back in the day, nuclear threats were as common as mullets, and kids did their nuclear drills with the same gusto as they practiced fire drills. Fast forward again, and we're in a world where nuclear nightmares are as rare as unicorns, or at least as rare as functional self-checkout machines. The Soviet Union vanished, and we stopped practicing the "under the desk" Olympics. The bomb's not completely forgotten, but let's face it, these days we're more concerned about tracking our steps on Fitbits than tracking thermonuclear warfare. Still, we've made a U-turn back to the birth of our atomic playground, perhaps to deal with our modern conundrums. We're living in Oppenheimer's world, the power of the gods in our hands. It's like giving your dog the car keys and hoping they won't crash into a fire hydrant. We're swamped in the feeling that doom's a-swirlin' around every corner, which Wes Anderson's "Asteroid City" gets all too well. Bomb tests pop up like surprise birthday parties, just more explosive. And then there's "Oppenheimer," a movie that's less about biographies and more about the boom of power—atomic power, geopolitical power, power to make you question your own power lunch choices. In a nutshell, Oppenheimer's like an all-you-can-eat buffet of nuclear musings, a reflection of how we became the cosmic game masters. But here's the kicker: we tell ourselves stories about our atomic prowess that are as nutty as a squirrel on an espresso binge. We're terrified, yet we tiptoe around the dread like it's a sleeping bear. But, like any good show, the curtain must rise, and now we're caught in a web of apocalyptic worries, waiting for the grand finale. We're the gods and the end of the line, and the world's biggest punchline. 🍿🔥💣# Nuclear Nonsense: A Comedy of Catastrophic Proportions Before the bomb, humanity's knack for destruction was like a sitcom that only non-humans were allowed to participate in. We're talking floods, plagues, and divine acts of cleanup on aisle Earth. Sure, we could picture Mother Nature throwing tantrums and nature's fury causing chaos, but when it came to ending the show, our role was more like a forgettable side character. No button-pushing villain who could bring down the curtain on the human race in a snap. Oh, but then along came nuclear power, and suddenly we were handed the detonator to blow up entire cities like oversized birthday cakes. Scientists, in their infinite wisdom, realized we could even accidentally set the sky ablaze while trying to flex our newfound atomic muscles. It was like giving a toddler a bazooka and hoping they wouldn't blow up the living room. And guess what? Pandora's box just threw in the towel. J. Robert Oppenheimer, the brain behind the bomb, exclaimed, "I'm now Death, the cosmic party pooper!" (Okay, maybe he said it with more gravity, but you get the gist.) Imagine the shock! Anyone from Joe Schmo to Jane Doe suddenly had the potential to turn us all into cosmic confetti. Existential crisis level: expert mode. We're talking not just the fear of instant doom but also a sense that the universe had run amok. With a deity, you could kneel and beg for mercy. But human beings? We all know how stubbornly ludicrous we can be. Even if you tried to shove thoughts of global obliteration under the mental rug, you'd be stuck with a permanent itch of anxiety, like that one popcorn kernel wedged in your teeth after the movies. Speaking of movies, Hollywood's always been the ultimate therapy couch for our fears. The bomb and its bombastic world waltzed back into our cinematic spotlight, from "Manhattan" to "Asteroid City" to "Oppenheimer: The Sequel." But this is a dance that's been going on since forever. No surprise that during the Cold War, the era of bomb-tastic paranoia, filmmakers were on a destruction binge—like Black Friday shoppers at an apocalypse megastore. Take "Fail Safe" (1964), for instance, a film where technological fiascos and nuclear whoopsies lead to an explosion of international proportions. The characters debate if wiping out the world is the ultimate way to evict Communism from the party. But hold onto your fallout shelters, because computers mess up and suddenly it's raining nukes on innocent folks. Cold War cinema was all about serious pondering of human folly, but then there's "Dr. Strangelove" (1964), Kubrick's laugh-out-loud lesson that the end of the world might just be thanks to some very anxious, very, um, inadequately equipped men. Flash-forward to the '80s. Movies like "The Day After" and "Threads" kept the nuclear anxiety fire burning. Even Japan got in on the action, producing atomic-inspired epics like "Godzilla" (not the one where he battles a pizza delivery guy, though). Amidst all the doom and gloom, some films dared to tease the edge of sanity without tumbling into the abyss. "WarGames" (1983), a tale of teenage hackers and their accidental playdate with Armageddon, stole Reagan's heart, because who doesn't enjoy a little close call with global extinction? Back in the day, nuclear threats were as common as mullets, and kids did their nuclear drills with the same gusto as they practiced fire drills. Fast forward again, and we're in a world where nuclear nightmares are as rare as unicorns, or at least as rare as functional self-checkout machines. The Soviet Union vanished, and we stopped practicing the "under the desk" Olympics. The bomb's not completely forgotten, but let's face it, these days we're more concerned about tracking our steps on Fitbits than tracking thermonuclear warfare. Still, we've made a U-turn back to the birth of our atomic playground, perhaps to deal with our modern conundrums. We're living in Oppenheimer's world, the power of the gods in our hands. It's like giving your dog the car keys and hoping they won't crash into a fire hydrant. We're swamped in the feeling that doom's a-swirlin' around every corner, which Wes Anderson's "Asteroid City" gets all too well. Bomb tests pop up like surprise birthday parties, just more explosive. And then there's "Oppenheimer," a movie that's less about biographies and more about the boom of power—atomic power, geopolitical power, power to make you question your own power lunch choices. In a nutshell, Oppenheimer's like an all-you-can-eat buffet of nuclear musings, a reflection of how we became the cosmic game masters. But here's the kicker: we tell ourselves stories about our atomic prowess that are as nutty as a squirrel on an espresso binge. We're terrified, yet we tiptoe around the dread like it's a sleeping bear. But, like any good show, the curtain must rise, and now we're caught in a web of apocalyptic worries, waiting for the grand finale. We're the gods and the end of the line, and the world's biggest punchline. 🍿🔥💣 Read the full article

[zantedeschia-03]

Hufflepuffs Are Not Useless

In the book series of Harry Potter by J. K. Rowling, there is an inaccurate controversy on whether the four houses are all important as the pillars of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The four houses were made by four great friends who desired to teach young witches and wizards how to control their magic. These houses are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff. There is a common misconception and stereotype that Hufflepuffs are the “softies”. This stereotype is very incorrect when several people and parts of the book are analyzed. Though the other houses are often stereotyped, the most looked down upon house is Hufflepuff, which is an erroneous conclusion.

To someone who is not familiar with Harry Potter, this argument may seem silly or unimportant, however, many fans take their sorted houses as chosen by the official Pottermore website quiz to be a part of their identity. Examples of those who have joked at the expense of Hufflepuffs or criticized them are easy to find. One of these is a broadway musical called “Puffs”. According to Irvin K. for Hypable, “The official synopsis reads: ‘Wayne Hopkins — a boy from New Mexico who is neither brave, smart, nor a snake — finds out he’s a wizard. Upon arrival at a certain school of magic and magic, he’s placed into the Puffs: a group of well meaning, loyal rejects”. This musical follows the story and portrays the Puffs as stupid, light-headed, and as pushovers in general. This is an incorrect interpretation made often by those who feel ashamed to be in the Hufflepuff house. Another example of this is a comedy group on Youtube that made a video titled “HOGWARTS: Which House Are You?” in which they have a small clip of students in each house and him or her says something like “I’m very brave, I’m a Gryffindor”. When it comes to the Hufflepuff’s turn, they make her seem harebrained and childish (The Second City). This is an inaccurate and hurtful representation of Hufflepuffs who are actually caring and well-rounded individuals. In an essay written by Drew Crabtree, he makes the claim that “At Hogwarts, the Hufflepuffs were considered the leftovers” generally interpreted from statements made throughout the book in the Sorting Hat song or in Hogwarts history lessons (kb.osu.edu). These statements from the Sorting Hat were misinterpreted.

To begin, the Sorting Hat from the books is a hat that will place each of the new Hogwarts students into their rightful houses. Each year he sings a new song. In Harry Potter’s first year at Hogwarts, we hear his song. “You might belong in Gryffindor, / Where dwell the brave at heart, / Their daring, nerve, and chivalry / Set Gryffindors apart; / You might belong in Hufflepuff, / Where they are just and loyal, / Those patient Hufflepuffs are true / And unafraid of toil; / Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, / If you've a ready mind, / Where those of wit and learning, / Will always find their kind; / Or perhaps in Slytherin / You'll make your real friends, / Those cunning folks use any means / To achieve their ends” (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone). This explains the qualities of each of the houses. Some of the qualities may cause a few of the Slytherins and Ravenclaws to lose a few of their morals, but this should not cause their entire house to be seen as immoral. In Harry’s second and third year, he misses the Sorting Ceremony and the hat’s song. In the fourth book, however, the reader hears the Sorting Hat again saying, “Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor, / Fair Ravenclaw, from glen, / Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad, / Shrewd Slytherin, from fen. / [...] / By Gryffindor, the bravest were / Prized far beyond the rest; / For Ravenclaw, the cleverest / Would always be the best; / For Hufflepuff, hard workers were / Most worthy of admission; / And power-hungry Slytherin / Loved those of great ambition” (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire). Again the qualities are repeated, simply in different words with more specificity. In the Sorting Hat’s next song, he says, “For were there such friends anywhere / As Slytherin and Gryffindor? / Unless it was the second pair / Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, / [...] / Said Slytherin, ‘We'll teach just those / Whose ancestry's purest.’ / Said Ravenclaw, ‘We'll teach those whose / Intelligence is surest.’ / Said Gryffindor, ‘We'll teach all those / With brave deeds to their name.’ / Said Hufflepuff, ‘I'll teach the lot / And treat them just the same’” (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix). This song specifically is one that stirs up the disagreement because of the words “I’ll teach the lot”. Because of this, many people claim that Hufflepuffs are just those who had no qualities to be placed elsewhere. They were the remainder, the unwanted students. However, as the songs make clear, the house of Helga Hufflepuff was one of patient, sweet, and loyal hard workers.

Speaking of her, Helga Hufflepuff was the one of the founders of the school, and her house is, of course, Hufflepuff. She, among other characters, was an extremely important figure in the history of Hogwarts. According to an article from Harry Potter Wiki:

Helga Hufflepuff [...] was one of the four founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. [...] While the other founders took students based on either ambition, bravery, or intelligence, Helga took the loyal, hard-working, patient and tolerant and treated them all equally. [...] Helga favoured loyalty, honesty, fair play, and hard work, but was known to accept all students regardless of whether or not they possessed these traits. Members of her House usually display at least one of these traits in varying degrees. [...] Helga was renowned for her compassionate nature and charming ways. She took in the house-elves to work in Hogwarts Kitchen, where they could work in peace and safety. [...] While the other founders were careful in selection of students, Hufflepuff took in the rest. She was also a woman of tolerance, willing to accept Muggle-born students and disagreed with Slytherin's pure-blood exclusiveness, as well as bringing together people of varying backgrounds to construct the school and ensuring a decent working environment for house-elves, who were generally treated with indifference if not outright cruelty by most wizards (Helga Hufflepuff Article).

This article speaks of Helga’s many qualities and her acceptance to everyone in her egalitarian ways. Her tendencies are passed down to her house as the people who were placed there were placed there because of their compassionate and helpful natures. Helga Hufflepuff’s disposition set an example for students placed in her house and for those simply learning of her legacy. Her treatment of students, friends, and even the lowly house-elves displays the personality that she is and the wonderful nature that she passed to those in her house.

Another person to be trusted is the writer herself. J. K. Rowling said in an interview, “In many many ways Hufflepuff is my favorite house. [...] There comes a point in the final book where each house has the choice whether or not to rise up to a certain challenge. [...] The Slytherins [...] decide they’d rather not play. The Ravenclaws – some decide they will, some decide they won’t. The Hufflepuffs virtually to a person, stay, as do the Gryffindors. Now, the Gryffindors comprise a lot of foolhardy and show-offy people. That’s just the way it is. I’m a Gryffindor; I’m allowed to say. You know, there’s bravery, and there’s also showboating, and sometimes the two go together. The Hufflepuffs stayed for a different reason. They weren’t trying to show off. They weren’t being reckless. That’s the essence of Hufflepuff house” (Rowling). According to this, the Hufflepuffs have the bravery of Gryffindors without the vain and stubborn disposition of those red and gold fellows. This only goes to show that should a Hufflepuff ask the Sorting Hat to be placed in Gryffindor, they would rightfully fit in because of their well-rounded and fearless natures. Rowling also went on to say “Now, my oldest child, my daughter Jessica [...] said to me - and she by the way was not sorted into Hufflepuff house - but she said to me, ‘I think we should all want to be Hufflepuffs.’ I can only say to you, I would not be disappointed at all to be sorted into Hufflepuff house” (Rowling). This is important as the writer herself has created the idea and story that is Harry Potter. She understands and loves her characters for their personalities and shortcomings. J. K. Rowling is one of the most credible sources as she is the one who created the idea of Hufflepuff. Thus, she knows better than any of her readers or fans what Hufflepuffs are supposed to be like.

Another source is from the books themselves and the characters within. Take Nymphadora Tonks for example. Her character appears in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. As her story progresses along with the series, the readers learn that she is a Hufflepuff. She is a very fierce character who never stops fighting, marries a werewolf, and dies in the battle against Voldemort while bearing a child. Simply the idea of fighting as intensely as she did while carrying a growing child within her is a feat unto itself. Another interesting fact about Tonks is that, though she was sorted into Hufflepuff, she came from a typically Slytherin family. This means that her personality was well-meaning and humble, yet at the same time stubborn and loyal. Other examples of Hufflepuffs who were very useful people were Cedric Diggory and Pomona Sprout. Both of these were very talented people who could do many things in their areas of study. Though they were very skilled people, they did not even come close to boasting of it, they simply used their skills to the benefit of others. Some examples that show that the stereotypes of other houses are imprecise are Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail. Although Wormtail was in Gryffindor, he was an enormous coward. Professor Gilderoy Lockhart was a Ravenclaw, however, he was not brave or intelligent enough to go on his own adventures. Some may argue that he was clever enough to compile so many stolen stories from others, but that is also an immoral act of plagiarism, thus looked down upon by the house of Rowena Ravenclaw. The famous wizard Merlin, for another example, was in Slytherin. But he was one of the greatest, most ambitious, good wizards in history. These examples should destroy the stereotypes for any of the houses.

Yet another example of why Hufflepuffs are not the ‘softies’ can be seen when their banner is analyzed. The symbol of the Hufflepuff house is a badger with the color yellow. Badgers are very interesting and powerful creatures. Badgers are very adaptable. They are hardworking as they dig their homes and are very neat because they keep their homes clean and pass the house down to generations. Characteristics of badgers are that they are very aggressive when the situation arises that they must protect their loved ones, passionate, tough, busy, stubborn, and self-confident (Facts About Badgers). These qualities of a badger, an animal, are all reflected in Hufflepuffs, making them very well-rounded people. “What distinguishes them from their relatives is their extraordinary physical and emotional strength and tenacious approach to life's challenges” (The Badger Personality). Hufflepuffs are willing to take on life’s trials and work with them even in a stressful situation. They are also very happy, positive people as their color of yellow represents. “Yellow is the color of sunshine. It's associated with joy, happiness, intellect, and energy. Yellow produces a warming effect, arouses cheerfulness, stimulates mental activity, and generates muscle energy. [...] In heraldry, yellow indicates honor and loyalty” (Color Wheel Pro: Color Meaning). This definition of the color yellow is interesting because it talks about how it means ‘honor’ and ‘loyalty’ in heraldry. These words apply to Hufflepuffs because of their patience and love towards others. Yellow also is associated with joyfulness and wisdom. All these characteristics could arguably be placed into other houses, making Hufflepuffs versatile and excellent people.

Other things are said of the school Hogwarts itself. The significance of the houses is that people are not judged according to their physical appearance, amount of money, or any of the materialistic parts of the world. They are based off of personality and thoughts. “The best part of Hogwarts houses is that they are proof that personality type does not determine morality. Rather morality (goodness vs. evil) is based on individual choices. The four houses represented at Hogwarts are as follows: Gryffindor (motivated by bravery and nerve), Ravenclaw (is ran by intellect and wisdom), Hufflepuff (for those of community and loyalty), Slytherin (where ambition and cunning is the incentive)” (The Odd Couple: Hufflepuff and Slytherin Talk Friendship). The magical world provided in the Harry Potter series is relevant to society because it gives society the idea that even in a world where things are possible with the flick of a wand, the witches and wizards still have human tendencies and things will go wrong. The Hogwarts houses teaches that the readers can find people like them, even if they don’t appear to be the same, that there is similarity in all of society.

In conclusion, common stereotypes are inaccurate and should not be allowed to cover up the true meaning of different parts of society. Just in this book, Hufflepuffs are interpreted by the readers to be useless or unimportant. This was not the way that J. K. Rowling intended it to be and some readers are simply unable to understand that each house has a purpose in the foundations of Hogwarts. Hufflepuffs are there to provide a friend for the friendless and a help to those who cannot help themselves. This does not make them useless, it makes them loving and necessary. The Hufflepuffs are also brave and compassionate, traits given them by their founder, however, they choose not to boast of them like Gryffindors. In the end, Hufflepuffs are not better than the other houses, they should simply not be underestimated as they often are. Thus it can be concluded that Hufflepuffs are not useless.

Works Cited

Bradford, Alina. “Facts About Badgers.” LiveScience, Purch, 8 Oct. 2015,

www.livescience.com/52420-badgers.html.

“Color Wheel Pro - See Color Theory in Action.” Color Wheel Pro: Color Meaning, www.color-

wheel-pro.com/color-meaning.html.

Crabtree, Drew. You're a Divergent, Harry. Knowledge Bank, Ohio State University,

kb.osu.edu/bitstream/handle/1811/79061/1/LIMA_HCR_2016_ESSAY_Crabtree.pdf.

“Helga Hufflepuff: Harry Potter Wiki.” Fandom, harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Helga_Hufflepuff.

K, Irvin. “'Puffs': An Excellent Harry Potter Play All about Hufflepuffs.” Hypable, 30 July 2018,

www.hypable.com/puffs-the-play-review-new-york/.

“The Odd Couple: Hufflepuff and Slytherin Talk Friendship.” Black Nerd Problems, 23 Mar.

2017, blacknerdproblems.com/the-odd-couple-hufflepuff-and-slytherin-talk-friendship/.

“A Quote by J.K. Rowling.” Goodreads, Goodreads, www.goodreads.com/quotes/796768-

hufflepuff-is-my-favorite-house-in-some-ways-there-comes.

Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Bloomsbury, 2000.

Rowling, J.K. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Bloomsbury, 2003.

Rowling, J. K. Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Bloomsbury, 1997.

TheSecondCityNetwork. “HOGWARTS: Which House Are You?” YouTube, YouTube, 5 July

2011, www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0Z5_wipT2o.

Thornton, Jacob, and Mark Otto. “The Badger Personality.” Animal in You,

animalinyou.com/animals/badger/.

ENJOY!!

PLEASE DONT STEAL MY WORK, I ACTUALLY WORKED PRETTY FREAKING HARD ON THIS

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Belgium brings their ex-vocalist back to Rotterdam 2021

Here we chop chop boys like we chop chop wood

This review space would’ve been reserved for Belarus. Unfortunately, their broadcaster was not ready to make nice, and ultimately refused to serve EBU with anything but not-even-so-thinly-veiled propaganda, so much so that EBU, after all they’ve given the time for them for to snap out of it, finally had to be like “bye bitch” (- Lizzo) with enough push from the fandom, and informed everyone that Belarus will miss this year’s contest <3

Which means that I don’t have to deal with 41, but with 39 writeups to do overall, if my timing permits! The Roop could’ve always used a little less competition, anyway /j

Speaking of The Roop’s competition, time to aim at another one of their semifinal folk with a review. Come forth, Belgium!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Hooverphonic, eventhough they’re not as big of a name as Flo Rida, is the biggest act to compete in this year’s Eurovision, and even had lasted longer as a thing than Flo Rida. He barely even got his proper famous kickstart around in the 2000s. Hoover have been around at least for 5 years more than him, if “Years active” section on Wikipedia is anything to go by. And back then they were just known as Hoover, correct. Their lineup of singers has changed for quite some time, but otherwise the band since its inception is rooted in basically two men: Alex Callier and Raymond Geerts. They used to have a keyboardist too but was he a part of their glory years in 2000? No? Thought so, he’s irrelevant then. In fact, their first vocalist wasn’t even present on their first album, so they went to have another one, who did just one album with them before 2000 and left. Now I’m only constantly and consistently bringing up 2000 because that’s when they had their break out moment in relevancy - after they changed their singer once more before they found someone called Geike Arnaert - the woman you’re seeing on the MV’s thumbnail right now, and not someone certain for whom there was a public outcry for she is the only Hooverphonic component that’s not coming back from 2020 to 2021. But more on that later. I’m here to present you the break-out hit, for those who just don’t know:

I used to like to think of Hoovers as trip-hop sensations, well not in the style of Massive Attack because they have their trip-hop sound with actual hip hop thrown in, Hooverphonic’s style is that but with a tinge of symphonic.

Well, “Mad About You” wasn’t really the only hit they had, before that they got a bunch of minor and domestic hits, and their music was used for soundtracks. So it’s a little bit cheating still to think of “Mad About You” as their breakout hit, but that’s still the biggest song of the band. If I were to recommend you stuff from them that aren’t necessarily the biggest hits but still, “The Night Before” with yet another one of their vocalists is pretty good.

So when I tell you that Hooverphonic is a band of a very long career. Well some bands do survive a lot without having their lineup change for 10+ years, but Hooverphonic vocalistes come and go sometimes, and for 2020 forray, when they were first announced, they came in to that talk show studio where they were guests in with a promising little starlet Alex Callier found at The Voice Belgium (for the Flanders region) and was her mentor there, Luka Cruysberghs, as their current vocalist.

Is it just me or her and Stefania Liberakakis look like they could be cousins?

All went smooth and dandy, until Alex started spouting stuff about Eurovision the fans found not amusing, such as calling Eurovision a circus or something, later begging and pleading to medias that his statement was “lost in translation” - now I would say it happens to the best of us, like for Tornike, but deep inside I think I know Alex meant what he meant, inside or outside context. Because everything just went even more sour when everyone found out Hooverphonic were missing from the common song “Love Shine a Light” for the 2020 consolation programme in place of Eurovision, and when they were forced to explain, Alex just straight up said he didn’t like the song, so he decided to not do it. Fuck, I myself don’t adore the 1997 winning song, but I like it, and would’ve still done a piece of that song out of respect. Take it or leave it, god damn. Also they were noted to be the only people plugging in their other material in the time when Eurovision 2020 artists on the consolation programme were either saying inspirational stuff or “hope to see you soon!” or a combo of both, once again, courtesy of mostly Alex. Now I’m not saying his ego is bigger than Kirkorov’s... of fucking course not, no one has an ego bigger than Kirkorov’s. The only thing that can beat him in that regard is if someone booked Kanye West for Eurovision last minute.

Following 2021, they were very excited to jump on the “leave 2020 songs behind” train, while a few artists like VICTORIA and The Roop rallied for to keep their entries in tact if they were allowed to. And with that, in late 2020, they went ahead and celebrated the 20 years of “Mad About You” by getting rid of Luka as a vocalist and bringing back the aforementioned Geike to reprise her part. Seems pretty reasonable, but for the Eurofandom it was simply seen as a dick move, and mostly for the reason that all 2020 artists deserve a 2021 chance, even if they’re band members. What felt more dickish is that Luka was straight up told “byeeee u’re no longer our bandmate xo” on a Zoom call between band members. Like, it’s fine to be told you’re fired in person, even if still humiliating, because what’s the other better way? What’s equally worse is to be told this via email, but the email you were sent was sent like a few months ago and you only read it NOW. At least I guess that proves we know what the “sad and losing game” was that Luka asked to be released from now, heh.

Not to worry Luka-stans, as Alex will still have her, just as not the part of the band anymore. But instead give her a solo career. Yeah well we’ll see how long that lasts.

With the 2000 glory heydays lineup of Hooverphonic we have their entry be “The Wrong Place”, as the completely quite different song they promised (or didn’t) when saying that they will certainly and absolutely get rid of their old one for the 2021 if they had a choice. What they didn’t get rid of is the theme of the worse part of relationships - “Release Me” is about probably wanting to be let go of and released rather than kept by the side when it’s probably not working out. “The Wrong Place” is one of those episodes that probably happened during then - they had a house conflict, she chose to have a smoke to forget about it, the man’s after her Johnny Cash T-Shirt. Not much else to say about the song’s technicality fortunately than I’ve already said so much about the band, so how does it fare in the Hoover-lore, for me?

REVIEW

See, I would like to root for Luka ever having her chance to get to experience Eurovision if she wishes, but maybe it’s lowkey for her own benefit she wasn’t the chosen vocalist for the song, as Geike could do “Release Me”, but Luka wouldn’t be able to do “The Wrong Place”.

“The Wrong Place” is well-suited to the first vocaliste’s melancholic blend-in timbre, and a singer like Luka would sound a little too light on this with her soft-spoken sound of her voice. Besides, I don’t think she could be old enough to relate to the lyrical subject’s domestic struggle issue. Not to say 20 year olds don’t smoke and drink, it’s just that “The Wrong Place” feels a little bit too much mature enough.

Although I think that both of them could absolutely rock the music video visuals.

The song itself is very Hooverphonic. They used to do this kind of standout triphoppy sound back in the days, but as of lately they kind of grew out of the label to do more of the music that kinda sounds like movie soundtrack music. Idek the exact label I could give it to their music so move soundtrack music it is I guess. It has a decently paced structure (could’ve done without the overly repetitive ending where they repeat “you’re in the wrong place” over and over, like ffs I know where I am!!), and interesting lyrical choices. Such as “organic cup of... tea”, as in, WOW! HOOVERPHONIC HAS ENOUGH WITH THE TEABAGS FULL OF GROUND AND GRINDED TEA! THEY WILL ONLY MAKE TEA FROM PURE HERBS AND FLOWERS, AS IT WAS USED TO BE DONE! and acting like her Johnny Cash T-Shirt is the kind of prized possession her man is not allowed to wear to rub it in her face. Imagine if it was something more mundane. “Don’t you ever dare to wear my... pink polka-dot T-shirt”? Damn right it doesn’t seem to suit the mood lol.

It’s not what I exactly wanted from Hooverphonic, but probably what I subconsciously needed from them anyway, ever since they were announced for 2020. I only got into “Release Me” sometime AFTER the contest, “The Wrong Place” is a bit more instant to stand behind. So well done to them to commit to their craft.

Approval factor: I guess I do have to stamp this with my stamp of approval. It’s nice and all. Follow-up factor: “The Wrong Place” follows up as a more of a Hooverphonic discography track after the fairly average and overlookable “Release Me” (eventhough the latter has the tinge of theirs as well because it’s a more symphonic ballad, and they do have symphonic stuff on their discog afterall). As a Eurovision entry, it comes across as even better somewhat, and even slightly more standout, but that might not necessarily work in their favour. Qualification factor: And that’s because they’re absolutely stranded in the semi with too many qualification choices to name. Belgium gets to be a bit quasi-obvious, but they’ve failed with a Hooverphonic-penned song before, plus, the pop girlies of this semi are more likely to eat out a band like this alive, but I wouldn’t exactly say Belgium is doomed to fail either, because I am positive Hooverphonic will think of something. I’m just saying that shocking things can happen every now and then.

INTERNAL CORNER

Well, considering Alex Callier is not running his mouth this time as much as he did so last year’s season, I think it’s safe to say that Hooverphonic have had nothing to write home about.

No, wait...

Well I did mention that Luka got replaced as one of the events that happened to Hooverphonic’s lifetime, but thank God that Alex promised her a solo career, right? Right?

Well, apparently, we’re getting towards it.

And the first lyrics of her first solo forray post-Hooverphonic-vocalist-duties features the lyrics about possibly her making someone “regret it”. Lol now watch this song to be a karma kick into Hooverphonic’s ass if Belgium happens to not qualify this year. Luka forewarned y’all with sharp precision.

Annnnnd that’s pretty much it, besides the band jumping on the trend of turning their entries into a Festivali i Këngës 59 acoustic night European version by presenting their own acoustic version of this track. I did not have the kind of courage to link to the Azerbaijan’s “slow version” on their review in fear of overruning my post even longer than they would usually be for these reviews, but at least it moves people to a certain degree

Well, my question of the days is, does “The Wrong Place” in acoustic make you sad twerk?

ANY LAST WORDS?

Belgium’s big weakness is when it comes to stage their entries, notably for the last two years where the Eurovision actually happened. Sennek was awkwardly put in the middle and succumbed to the curse of Lucie Jones of grimmacing too much and therefore ruining her score in the process, possibly. Eliot was just simply upstaged by the decision to include big drums on stage. Alex Callier acknowledges all that sort of thing, so if anything goes absolutely right and Hooverphonic manage to make it to Rotterdam (which I think they can do because Belgium and Netherlands are neighbours lol? unless their lockdown rules get super strict in May), he should get on to mending all the flaws that Belgium had in the past for staging, and have a spectacular vision. Because it’d be sadly hilariously ironic if Hoovers miss out on the final due to the staging again. Can’t just constantly blame the vocalist - Geike would be flawless live, if Hooverphonic trusted in her for so many years. Can’t blame the song - it’s not too bad. So staging, I guess.

Good luck Hooverphonic, you’ll certainly need it. Also can RTBF consider that they could send anything else from the Wallonian music scene other than The Voice Belgique acts~

[licenselesswriter]

Ten Duel Commandments CH2

Grab a friend, that’s your second.

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Maya slowly walks towards Smackle and sits next to her, "How are things today?" she asks her.

Isadora shows a sad smile without taking her eyes from her tablet, "Well, as you can see, same as the last month, the same three sides of this, my dearest one on bubbles' side, Isaiah is on Lucas' side," she explains.

Maya let out a sigh, "And you're mediating, I suppose," she says.

"Correct," Isadora concedes, "I guess you're going on Bubbles' side?" she asks.

Maya gives Isadora a sad smile, "Nope, I'm gonna be Switzerland," she says, making Isadora adjust her glasses, "What?" she asks.

"Interesting," she comments, "Well, if you're Switzerland, then I guess I'm the Pope mediating between them," she adds.

Maya softly laughs, "Isadora Smackle, the superior brain, cutie with glasses, supreme pontiff," she says.

"Sounds really good, to be honest," Isadora says before turning to look at her friends again, "Think someday things would be back to what they were?" she asks.

Maya gives her a sad smile, fueled mostly by her guilt, "Don't know but doubt it," she sincerely answers.

"The main problem here is that Bubble's hasn't noticed that Lucas is in love with someone else," she explains.

Maya looks at her, surprised, "I'm sorry, what?" she asks.

"How I put this correctly," Isadora starts before looking at Zay and Lucas and privately points at them, "Lool at Lucas," she says, "See how his skin is cleaner? Or his hair?" she asks.

Maya takes a look at her boyfriend before mentally hitting herself in the head to start making the skin and hair routine with him, "Yeah, why?" she asks.

"I know for a fact that Lucas always turns down Isaiah when he suggests he takes more care about his grooming process," she explains. 

A bit nervous, Maya tries to drop that idea, "So, because he's hotter now, he's in love with someone?" Maya asks.

Isadora smiles, "Not only that, suddenly, Isaiah stopped asking him to take care of his grooming, but he's getting better looking with the time, and yes, I know he drinks a lot of water, but that skin doesn't get like that with only water," she adds.

"And that means?" Maya asks.

"That means Isaiah must know something, since he got what he wanted, Lucas taking better care at his grooming, but for some reason, Isaiah acts like he doesn't know about it," Isadora continues.

Maya felt like all her alarms were triggered simultaneously. For the first time, she feared her friend's analytical capacity, "Maybe he doesn't have someone, maybe, he just wants to have one," she replies before looking at Riley and Farkle.

"Maybe, but I doubt it," she replies.

"Doubt that he wants a partner?" Maya asks.

"Doubt that I'm wrong," Isadora answers with a smile.

"That's my girl," Maya replies and hugs Isadora.

Harper writes a few names on the blackboard, "Ok, so, for your next assignment, tell me, what these names have in common?" she asks.

Isadora raises her hand, "Fictional characters who have secrets, and by keeping them, they think they are doing the greater good," she explains.

Harper smiles, "Correct," she says, "Now, what are those secrets?" she asks.

Farkle raises his hand, "Eddard Stark protected his nephew from being killed by Robert Baratheon," he answers.

Zay looks at him a bit mad, "Dude, spoiler alert," he says.

"Got over it, it's been more than a year," Farkle replies.

Lucas raises his hand, "Batman designed contingency plans to neutralize the Justice League," he says, only to be fastly stared by Zay, Farkle, and Maya, "What?" he asks.

Maya smiles at him, "Since you're all Texan cowboy goody-good boy, I imagine you would relate more with the honorable Lord Stark," she teases him.

"Says the woman who read three books in a row and texts me at four in the morning," he replies before pulling out his phone, "R+L=J," he teases her, reading her text.

"That's private, asshole," Maya recriminates him.

Harper fastly cut both of them, "Ok, ok, we get the point, Lucas likes Batman, and Maya likes A Song of Ice and Fire," she says, making sure to keep the peace, "The point of this is, the motives they have to do what they do and if in the end, was the appropriate solution to the problem?" she asks, "Four pages minimum," she finishes, making Maya groan in pain.

.

As soon as Harper's class ended, Farkle fastly gets out of the room, being followed by Lucas.

"Hey, Farkle, can we talk?" Lucas asks him.

"No, have a good day," Farkle replies before leaving him alone in the hall.

Riley looks at him, sad about what just happened, "I'm sorry," she apologizes.

Lucas gives her a sad smile, "Don't, he's his own person, if he wants us to end like this, nothing I can do to change his mind," he explains.

Riley looks down, "Sometimes I wish I never said anything," she adds.

Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder to comfort her, "Please Riley, never stop speaking your mind, that's one of the few rights we still have in this 'Democracy' our older folks choose," he replies.

Riley looks at his eyes, blushing, "How you expect me to not fall for you over and over again when you're like this?" she asks, half-joking, half-serious.

Lucas just stood there before looking at Zay, "I'm gonna go grab lunch, ok?" he says before leaving Riley alone in the hall.

As soon as he left, Maya walks to Riley, "Can we talk?" she asks.

"About?" Riley asks back in a severe tone.

"Well, about how things seem to end between us," Maya answers.

"Maya, I think that day, we made very clear what we think. I don't think there is something for us to talk," Riley replies.

Maya felt really uncomfortable after hearing those words come from her best friend's mouth, "Wow, so that's how things are gonna be," she says.

"That's how you let things end," Riley says.

"Just because I'm not on your side once?" Maya asks.

Riley takes a second to think, "I would love to say that, yeah, it's just for that, but since we argue, you seem to adjust to his side very easily," she adds.

"I said it once, and I'm gonna repeat it, I'm neutral about this whole thing," she defends herself, knowing that was a blatant lie.

Riley takes another second to think, "What you want me to say?" she asks, "You may say you're a neutral party, but that doesn't show," she adds, "And yes, I know you have been spending time with Zay and Lucas," she adds like she was close to solving a mystery.

Maya felt cornered by her words, but fastly she recovers her composure, "Maybe if you stop pushing me away for having a different opinion, I would be back to spending time with you and Farkle," she argues, "I miss you guys, but I'm not gonna compromise with something I don't believe," she adds, hiding her true motives.

Riley gives Maya an uncomfortable smile, "Well, we talk, and I think enough for today," she replies before start walking away from Maya.

"Fuck," Maya says, looking at her best friend walk to the cafeteria.

.

Maya walks towards Lucas and Zay, having their lunch close to the baseball cages, "Silent treatment too?" she asks.

"Yep," Lucas replies before putting a kiss on her hand.

"What we discuss about PDA?" Zay complains.

"Chill out, it was only her hand," Lucas defends himself, "Also, you're safe harbor," he adds.

Zay gives Lucas a soft look, "I'm the safe harbor?" he asks, really happy for being acknowledged as that.

"Well, you're the only one who knows about us, so yeah," Maya answers, "Also, we have done worse, and sweatier, than this," Maya adds, making Lucas blush.

Zay looks at his best friend in disbelief, "For real? For fucking real? And you hide that from me? How dare you, how dare you," he says, in a fake offended tone. 

Lucas just laughs, "Well, now you know, and you need to keep the secret," he replies before taking a bite of his sandwich.

.

Once school ends, Lucas, Zay, Isadora, and Maya walk outside school.

"So, any good plans for this Tuesday night?" Zay asks.

"Peaky Blinders," Lucas fastly replies.

"Still with Peaky Blinders?" Zay asks.

"It's a great show if you enjoy mafia shows," Isadora answers, "It's not The Sopranos, but, well, nothing will be like The Sopranos," she explains.

"See, Isadora gets it," Lucas says.

"Please stop, I have a boyfriend," Isadora replies.

Lucas keeps walking, a bit surprised, but he already knew how she was, "I don't know what to say," he replies.

"Then don't, flirting it's not gonna work with me," Isadora says, making Zay and Maya laugh.

"Yeah, Huckleberry, leave her alone," Maya teases him before looking at her phone, "Well, this was nice, but yours truly, has homework to do," she adds before taking a little jog, separating herself from the group, "See you tomorrow," she adds before leaving them.

"She's not gonna do her homework," Isadora states.

"We know," Lucas says, making Zay laugh, "Call you tonight for some CoD?" he asks.

"You know it," Zay replies.

"Ok, see you all tomorrow," Lucas says, following Maya's steps.

After a few minutes of silence, Isadora stops walking.

"Something wrong?" Zay asks.

"It's her," Isadora says, realizing the truth.

"Who it's her?" Zay asks, hoping for being wrong about what he was thinking.

"Let's go for a cup of coffee," Isadora says before dragging Zay to a Starbucks.

Forty minutes later, Lucas opens his apartment door, only to be attacked by a tiny blonde, "Hard day?" he asks.

"Asshole move to expose me like you did," Maya says before kissing his lips.

Lucas lifts her before deepening the kiss, "A little payback," he replies, caressing her lower back.

"Your Mom?" Maya asks while she kisses his neck.

"Working," Lucas replies, taking off one of his sleeves.

"Funny," Maya says, helping him get rid of his shirt, "Let's finish homework," she adds, taking off her shirt.

"God, I love you so much," He says and kisses her deeply.

.

"Ok, we finished 2 weeks of homework," Maya says, gently putting her bra, "Hook it please," she asks Lucas.

Lucas kisses her back and very lovingly hooks her bra, "You have the weirdest ways to name sex I've ever heard," he says.

Maya chuckles, "Yeah, like you had someone to compare me to," she says.

"Ah, touche," Lucas replies before pulling her back to his bed form her waist, "But in that case, you also have nobody to compare me with," he adds.

"So?" she asks, "I'm pretty happy with what you carry and how you use it," she says.

Lucas smile and takes a deep breath of her hair, "If you're trying to seduce me with compliments, I'm gonna warn you, it's working," he adds, before sneaking his hand between her legs.

"Look, Huckleberry, no matter how much I enjoy our homework sessions, we need to get our real homework done, I need better grades if I want to apply to some kind of scholarship," she adds before turning to face him and gently caresses his manhood.

"It's hilarious how you can say completely serious while you have my cock in your hand," he jokes.

"Well, there is a certain pleasure on getting your secret boyfriend hard with only your hands," she says before putting a peck on his lips, "Makes me feel powerful and in control," she adds.

"It's funny how I can dominate a bull, but against you, I'm just a puppy, and not even a Pitbull or a Doberman, I'm like, don't know, a Pug," he comments.

"Well, you're one hell of a cute Pug," Maya says before getting up from his bed again, "Now, seriously, I need help with my homework, the school one, so please, help me," she asks him.

"Fine," Lucas says after a few minutes, "So, Math or the Essay?" he asks while he puts his boxers.

"Essay, for some reason, I don't feel good thinking about that Essay," she says.

"Yeah, me too," Lucas says, "But this is not about us, this is about fictional characters who hide things," he adds before kissing her cheek.

"Don't you feel bad for her?" Maya asks him, "I mean, she is your ex," she adds.

Lucas takes a deep breath and puts his shirt over, "Can I be frank with you?" he asks.

"Please," she says.

"It's hard to feel bad for her when I'm this happy with you," he says before picking one of her hands and put a soft kiss on it, "Yes, I do care for her, and for her feelings, but I'm happy, even when I have to be happy inside one of our homes and for a certain amount of time," he adds.

Maya gently puts her hand on his cheek, "You have to be the compensation God send me for being abandoned by my father," she jokes.

Lucas looks at her seriously, "You know I hate when you joke about that," he says.

"Sorry," she apologizes.

"Don't," Lucas replies, "I know that's how you deal with my sappiness," he adds before kissing her, "So, four pages Essay," he says.

"Here," Zay says, giving Isadora her coffee.

"Thank you," she says before taking the lid and pouring three sugar bags.

"So, what do you need for me?" Zay asks.

"Just to confirm a few things," Isadora answers.

"Well, hope I can help," Zay replies.

"I have to warn you first," Isadora says before mixing her coffee, "Everything we're gonna talk here, will never leave my mouth, so please, be honest with me," she adds.

"Ok," Zay says, a bit nervous, "Seems serious," he adds.

"It is," Isadora replies, "First, did you notice that Lucas has a clearer skin, right?" she asks, setting a statement.

"I know where this is going," Zay replies, giving her a nervous look.

"So, it's true," Isadora says.

"Can't confirm or deny anything," Zay replies.

"I asked you to be honest with me," she says, appealing to his words.

Zay puts four bags of sugar in his tea, "Honestly, I don't know what you want me to tell you," he says, focusing on his tea.

"Till when you're gonna protect everyone from the truth?" Isadora asks.

Zay looks at her, a bit mad about her attitude, "Why you talk like I'm the bad one in this movie?" he asks, "Suddenly, I'm a bad guy because I want to protect my friend and his right to choose?" he asks.

"You're not bad for doing that, you're 'bad' because you're keeping everyone in the dark," Isadora answers.

"That's when you're wrong," Zay says before taking a sip of his tea, "I know exactly where my loyalties are, I'm not keeping nobody in the dark, or lying to anyone," he adds.

"Bubbles is in love with Lucas," Isadora argues.

"So?" Zay asks, "Just because she's in love with him, he's forced to be her partner?" he asks this time, "Forgive me for my manners, but that's complete and utter bullshit," he answers his own question.

"But she's our friend, she deserves the truth," Isadora keeps pushing.

"I agree, it's our friend," Zay concedes, "But you're dead wrong if you think I'm gonna put her over Lucas, not now, not before, not ever," he states.

"Wow, who might think your guilt might drive you this far for him," Isadora says.

"Guilt, friendship, sense of making us even, call it whatever you want," Zay says, taking another sip of his tea, trying to keep his composure. He keeps silent for three minutes before breaking it, "I might be friends with everyone here, but don't forget that above all of that I'm still Lucas best friend," he adds, "And if he didn't want to tell me, his best friend, probably the only person besides Maya who will have his back no matter what, who am I to reveal his secrets?" he asks.

Isadora takes a sip of her coffee and stays silent with Zay for a few minutes, "Bubbles, she's gonna be crushed," she says.

Zay takes a deep breath, "What you want me to tell you?" he asks, "Do I feel bad for her? Yeah, I do, but keeping her safe it's not my job," he states, "Hell, it's not even your job, your job it's to protect your strongest link, and that's Farkle, not me, not Lucas, not Maya or Riley," he explains his point of view, "I should be having this conversation with Farkle, not you," he adds.

"Why?" Isadora asks, "Just because it would make it easier to lie to him?" she asks this time.

"Yeah, sadly, he's too naive and too good for this world, people lie, even his friends," Zay says.

Isadora and Zay keep silent for a few more minutes. Isadora finally breaks it with a chuckle, "I can't believe you will throw every one of us under the bus to save Lucas," she says.

Zay chuckles at her affirmation, "I'm his best friend, I owe him," he says.

"To heartbreaks," Isadora says, lifting her paper cup.

"To heartbreaks," Zay replies.

Zay is and will always be Lucas best friend, you can’t change my mind.

[happymetalgirl]

Babymetal - Metal Galaxy

The ongoing “controversy” surrounding Babymetal and the protests from so many metalheads about their very existence honestly doesn’t even deserve to be addressed, at least not in the context of what they bring to the metal biome. Rather, on a contextual/cultural basis, Babymetal reveals more about several unfortunately prevalent mindsets among the metal community than it does about the band themselves. More than any other band in metal right now, Babymetal gets so many disparate groups to agree on a common ground of shunning them from the realm of metal, many of them being the otherwise “reasonable” and “open” types. And look it’s okay to not like their music, I’ve only really gotten into a few songs of theirs up until this point, and I’m certainly not their biggest fan. There is definitely room for criticism for the band’s prototypical blending of Japanese pop and various styles of metal at a compositional level or even their part in contributing to the greater systemic mistreatment of young pop idol stars. But the ways that the band gets criticized more often highlight the very dogmatic kind of thinking within the metal community that so much of the music rails against (at least in aesthetic). But, again, the tantrum surrounding their existence is worse for metal than it is for them; the worst thing about Babymetal is not what they bring to the table, but the embarrassing reactions to it and them from so many in metal culture.

One of the most prevalent gripes about them and their gimmick is their industry-built origin, which many have reacted to the potential cash-grabbing motives behind defensively and skeptically. And I do get that position and not wanting to feel like something you love is being manipulated for a quick buck, and for all the public disdain directed at them, it’s certainly not stopped Babymetal from finding success, which one could suggest implies that they are simply an industry plant and not reliant on good artistic performance. so it’s not like they have even had real pressure to improve their craft. Yet Babymetal has been active for nearly a decade now, and in the five years since their debut album, the project has genuinely evolved and its creative masterminds have gotten a better handle on their sound in a way that shows a transparent dedication to artistic investment in this project from its workhorses and not just monetary investment from higher ups.

Plus, when it comes to cheap cash grabs in metal, the kind of projects I think of are not projects like Babymetal, but rather nostalgia-driven shit like Prophets of Rage, or clear ploys for mainstream radio/Spotify-playlist crossover like Bullet for My Valentine’s last album. Despite the red flag the pop elements of the group’s sound throws in the face of contrarian metalheads, Babymetal has continued to nurture and tighten the bond between the pop elements and the metal elements that make their signature sound, and upon hearing Metal Galaxy, I was honestly surprised at what a resounding testament it is to their progression and enduring dedication.

Like the albums before it, Metal Galaxy offers a wide array of impressively well-produced song types to make for a rather dynamic listen, with nothing really off limits. We get some more upbeat, fun, poppy songs, especially near the beginning of the album, like the power-synth-driven, Gaga-esque dance number, “Da Da Dance”, as well as the djent-juxtaposed pop bop of “Elevator Girl”, and the middle eastern melody of rhe clap-along “Shanti Shanti”. But we also get songs like “Oh! Majinai” with Sabaton’s Joakim Brodén, which come out of left field with a seemingly cocaine-fueled blend of synth-accordion-powered folk metal and J-pop that sounds like the kind of metallic drinking song a band like Alestorm or Korpiklaani would right. And then there’s the unmistakable technical swagger of Polyphia guitarists Tim Henson and Scott LePage over the tasty snaps and measured rhythm section of “Brand New Day” and the similarly balanced electronica and distorted guitar backbone of “↑↓←→BBAB”. The gimmick of the simple colliding of many genres is no longer novel for Babymetal, but they aren’t simply darting between poppy sections and heavy sections of songs for the eccentricity of it like they were on their debut album. The songs here are much more focused and their parts more cohesive as the various styles are far more complimentarily compositionally intertwined now, again, showing how this band is actually evolving and improving their craft.

What’s surprising furthermore (arguably) is the ramp up in energy the album takes at its tail end. The jolty synth-driven power metal pop of "Night Night Burn!" and the subsequent ceremonial choral intro of "In the Name of" open the album up to its heavier side, with the latter track layering downward-shifted and somewhat unclean vocals with punchy metallic guitar bursts and tinny Slipknot-trash-can percussion hits. But the band delivers some serious fucking bangers afterwards with the crushing industrial nu-metalcore bounce of “Pa Pa Ya!!” (reminiscent of the currently in-form Motionless in White), the filthy industrial djent-driven trap swagger of “BxMxC”, on which lead vocalist Sumetal provides an impressively speedy and characteristic rap-flavored vocal performance.

Alissa White-Gluz also makes a positive vocal contribution to the somewhat disjointed, but hardly offensive melodeath pop single, "Distortion" as well. The uplifting "Kagerou", meanwhile, feels positively Periphery-esque, with a vocal melody thay sounds like something Spencer Sotello would have soared (probably even higher) with on his band's most recent album this year. While also stratospherically soaring in the clean vocal department, the band go pretty straighforwardly heavy on the deliciously rumbly 8-string groove of the otherwise heavenly "Starlight", with the subsequent, less enthusiastic, string-laden "Shine" the only real weak link on the whole album. The songs I’ve gravitated toward on the previous two albums were the bangers like the melodic alternative metalcore jam, “Megitsune”, the mostly instrumental symphonic death metal grandeur of “Babymetal Death”, and the nu-metalcore bop, “Karate”. But these seriously heavy tracks on this album here manage to match the intensity of the band’s heaviest material while giving a sense that they could even do more, that this could be just the tip of the iceberg. The band sound so in tune and in form the crushing grooves and breakdowns flowing so naturally, I would honestly trust them to come through with a win if they announced a purely heavy album in this vein.

The unexpectedly truly inspirational, hair-raising power metal finale on the closing track, “Arkadia” (driven by Sumetal's beautiful vocal melody), which even more surprisingly doesn’t feature anyone from Dragonforce providing the dizzying axe attack, reaches new ethereally emotive heights I never expected from this band and concludes the album on its strongest, most resounding foot. I dare this band's many detractors to try to deny themselves from being moved by this song's emotional power.

It finally sounds like all the parts are beginning to come together on Metal Galaxy. It's definitely Babymetal's most accomplished and consistent effort yet, reliant not on standout singles to keep its head above water, but comfortably traversing the stormy seas of various styles and demonstrating its ease with the task at hand, making it look good the whole time. Like I said, I've never been any level of committed to fanning this band and I wasn't at all expecting to like this album nearly as much as I did, but this album sure makes it look attractive. While I'm sure it will do little to nothing to soften the hard hearts of metal's Pharisees, the band's excellence on this album and the increased difficulty it gives their detractors to scoff at them is the best retaliation to the constant sneering the band could have dished out. Even as a neutral, it's great hearing them succeed artistically and defy metal's religious "authorities" by simply perfecting their craft. Well done!

Dude, what the fuck? Why is this fuckin' Babymetal album good?/10

[didanawisgi]

by Bridget Phetasy, September 21, 2020

“Americans aren’t just fleeing liberal strongholds like California, Chicago and New York in droves. We are moving politically, too. As I often find myself caught in the crossfire of the culture wars, I also find myself at the crossroads of this migration.

Since my last column, headlined ‘Why I won’t vote’, I’ve received hundreds of emails from others who feel politically homeless. I’ve also heard from many who have voted Democrat or Republican their entire lives and, for the first time, in 2020 will vote for the opposite party. Lifetime conservatives are voting for Biden. Independents are being radicalized to vote red or blue. People who didn’t vote for Donald Trump in 2016 are enthusiastically voting for him now.

I even heard from a guy who hasn’t voted since Nader but is coming out to support Trump. Many who identify as ‘politically homeless’ are opting to vote third party or, like me, not to vote in the presidential category at all. (Allow me to clarify something I should have made clear in my previous column: I will be voting down ballot.)

I recognize the limitations of anecdotal evidence. But reading hundreds of emails, one starts to see patterns. My overall gut instinct from everything I’m hearing is that I won’t be at all surprised if Trump wins in a landslide — and that the only person who can beat Donald J. Trump is Donald J. Trump.

The first trend I noticed is that it appears the mainstream media massively overplayed their hand and red-pilled a large portion of blue America. Over and over again I hear the same story. People were locked up for months on end. They socially distanced and gave up working in order to ‘flatten the curve’. They missed funerals, weddings, graduations, school and seeing loved ones die. Then came the protests in response to police brutality and for a moment, it seemed like America was united against the police. But then epidemiologists came out in support of thousands of people gathering. It’s only natural that folks sitting at home started to question the information they were receiving. And then came the riots. Undecided Independents, many of whom were leaning toward Biden, cite the riots as having cemented their decision to vote for Trump.

For many former Democrats, the ‘mostly peaceful protests’ were the pivotal moment that they abandoned the mainstream media and started seeking out other perspectives. They began listening to independent journalists and, more importantly, seeking out the source material itself. One man wrote: ‘I started to notice how a lot of what he [Trump] would say the media would take out of context or frame in a negative way. I felt like I’d been lied to for almost four years.’

We shouldn’t underestimate either, the effect of what I call ‘micro-cancellations’. These are the small fallings-out that have happened in friend groups, social circles and families across America in the wake of 2016. Almost every Democrat who is voting for Trump has a personal story about being ostracized, shamed or losing a close friend or family member over politics. I thought perhaps after Hillary’s loss the left would learn that bullying people, tone-policing and punishing people for wrongthink only turns people off. Oh, how wrong I was. In fact, the left reinforced its bubble, doubled down on calling everyone a bigot who didn’t agree with it or dared to question its logic, facts or opinions, and kicked anyone right of Bernie out of the party.

The woke purity tests went mainstream. Out of a desire to go viral or appear virtuous on social media, fellow citizens are snitching on one another and publicly humiliating each other. Rejection is a powerful motivator and it’s staggering to conceive of how many potential allies the left has managed to alienate in four years; so common is this story that it feels self-destructive. As writer Mitchell Sunderland said to me recently: ‘They are a right-wing recruiting machine.’

This is why, despite his personality flaws, many believe Trump is still the lesser of two evils. The thing Trump has going against him is himself. He is incapable of ‘rising to the occasion’. He can’t transcend his baser instincts because that’s exactly who he is. One conservative voting for Biden said something that stuck with me. He explained that he couldn’t vote for Trump and look in the mirror and pretend that character matters.

In many ways, Trump is a black light revealing the human excrement that stains all our institutions, our politicians, our media and our souls. He’s revealed what’s always been there; we just couldn’t see it. Trump doesn’t inspire us to strive for our ideals. He instead gives everyone permission to be the worst versions of themselves. Even people holding their noses and voting for Trump because they like what he’s done ‘on paper’ express disgust and exhaustion with his constant drama, bullying, hypocrisy, blatant lying, cozying up to QAnon and ass-kissing of dictators. They describe him as a ‘bad and selfish person’ or ‘the biggest piece of shit ever’.

One man summed up the internal struggle people are echoing quite succinctly: ‘I’m voting for the most corrupt, self-serving politician I’ve ever seen because the other side won’t stand up against violence, Marxism and race-baiting. I feel like I’m drowning and, in order to keep from going under, I’ve had to throw my arms around a giant, floating turd.’”

This article is in The Spectator’s October 2020 US edition.

[ampharos-writes]

Welcome Home

Statement #0160604 Author’s Name: Andrea Roberson Nature of Incident: The death of her childhood friend Apollo Byrne Date and Location: June 21, 2010, Casper, Wyoming, USA Date of Statement: September 19th, 2014

Statement

First of, no, of COURSE that wasn’t his real name. We were from… well, anywhere in Wyoming is “small town” Wyoming, but you get the picture. No, his real name was Ezekiel Jones. Frankly, I don’t think he even really needed to change it in the first place - Zeke Jones is pretty punchy, ZJ are cool initials for an autograph, stuff like that - but I’m pretty sure he hated being reminded of where he came from. Of who he was.

See, Zeke… Apollo, rather, was Mormon by birth. His parents had migrated up from Utah when their fortunes went down and their rent went up, and they’d been living just outside of Casper for something like 30 or 40 years when Apollo came around. The Joneses were simple folk. They had a small farm, just enough to make a living off of, and they kept to themselves. Quiet family. Not like Apollo. He was always loud, in-your-face, always fired up about something-or-other, always looking to live life as largely as he could possibly muster.

I’m not even sure how we became friends, really. We didn’t have that much in common. But there was something so… warm about him, so congenial, so inviting. He was easy to talk to. He was fun. And believe me, fun was hard to come by in Casper, but Apollo found a way. We found a way. For basically the entirety of our school days, we were best friends… and occasionally more than that, though in the end we mutually decided that wasn’t gonna work out.

I still remember the day he left. It was the summer after our senior year of college. I was planning on heading down to Boulder to study Biochem, and Apollo was… well, I don’t think he was quite sure what he wanted to do with his life. He had big dreams, that was for sure, but they were always just that, and I think I always kind of suspected that he would eventually settle down into that farm life he had always hated so much. I didn’t WANT him to, but I thought he would.

He didn’t, though. When he came to our usual meetup spot that day, it was hot enough that I was sweating through my t-shirt, but it was the only time I had seen Apollo look… cold. He didn’t say a word to me, just leaned against the wall and pulled out a cigarette, gaze fixed hard on something in the distance, something only he could see. I didn’t say anything either. We just sat there, frozen in time and space.

Eventually, he did speak, in a hoarse whisper almost too soft for me to hear. “I’m leaving,” he said. “California.”

We both knew he didn’t have the money to go to California. We both knew it didn’t matter. He’d find a way.

He threw his cigarette on the ground, stomped it out, then suddenly pulled me in hard for a hug. I couldn’t say how long it lasted. All I remember was the stillness of the moment, the warmth of the tears running down his cheeks. It was an instant, and it was an eternity.

And then he left. He walked away, and that was the last that I - or anyone - ever saw of Ezekiel Jones.

It certainly wasn’t the end of Apollo Byrne, of course. Everyone knows HIS story by now - one day he’s nobody, the next he’s got his big break in that one indie flick, and suddenly he’s Hollywood’s new heartthrob. A world renowned partier, philanthropist, and flirt - though he always stopped short of actually engaging in romantic contact with another person, so much so that he never even so much as kissed another actress on screen. I always thought that was somewhat odd. So yeah, the story of Apollo Byrne the movie star’s been done to death, but here’s the thing: I’m the only one who knows how it ends. How it [i]really[/i] ends.

ET did an interview with him, right before he… yknow. It was after they wrapped filming on his last flick, some action movie or other. They asked him what he was gonna do between then and the premiere, and he said that he had some things to sort out. That he was going home. I’m not much of an ET watcher, but I happened to have it on in the background the night that it aired. I was living in Denver at the time, and my parents were still in Casper, so it wasn’t that big a hassle to take some time off work and stay with them for a week or two. I told them I wanted to see them, of course, but also that I wanted to catch up with old friends. I didn’t mention Apollo by name. I’m still not sure why.

It was on the morning of my second day in Casper that I realized I didn’t actually know how I was gonna track Apollo down. He had to deal with paparazzi all the time, of course, but he had always been coy about which small town he was really from, so it was unlikely they’d track him this far, which meant I was on my own. Would he go to his parents? Something about the thought made me uneasy. He hadn’t complained about them [i]that[/i] much when we were kids, but he always seemed… disdainful, I think, of them and their lifestyle. Still, it wasn’t like I had any other leads, and I figured maybe they had at least kept in touch to SOME degree.

The fire had already started by the time I got there.

There was a stiff prairie breeze pushing the smoke steadily out into the open country, so it wasn’t a surprise that I was the first one on the scene, but the fact that there was a scene at all sent me into immediate shock. I had only been over here two or three times before, but it was so strongly associated with someone I had once cared so deeply about that to see it going up in flames was like a red-hot poker straight to my gut. I didn’t even think to call 911. I might have dropped my phone, I’m not even sure. All I know is that all of a sudden my legs were moving of their own volition, carrying me towards the roiling inferno, desperate to discover and rescue whoever might be inside.

The heat hit me before I was even inside, like opening an oven to check the readiness of the contents, but growing steadily more persistent, more intolerable, with each step I took towards the house. The acrid stench of smoke filled my nostrils as I slipped through the warped entryway, and I quickly wrapped my shirt around my face. Time was not on my side, and I quickly maneuvered past embers and debris, calling out when I dared, searching for anyone who might be trapped inside. 

Finding nobody on the first floor, I sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time to minimize my chances of stepping on the wrong one in the wrong way. As I rose, so did the temperature, growing hotter than I had previously thought possible. I recall thinking vaguely that the fire must have started on the second floor, but I quickly cleared the thought from my brain. It wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was making sure that whoever was in here (and for some reason, I was convinced that SOMEONE must be in here) would be OK. I moved down the hallway one room at a time, peeking through doorways when I was able, kicking down doors when I was not. Each room I checked was empty, and eventually I found myself face to face with the only unexamined room in the house: the master bedroom at the end of the hall. The doorframe was warped, blackened, and cracking under the pressure, with the interior of the cracks glowing the same angry red as the handle of the door. I ignored it, of course, and kicked it down.

Inside the room stood Apollo Byrne.

He stood shirtless, with his back to me. A thin sheen of sweat covered the tanned flesh, though it was somewhat… less than I would expect, given the conditions. His normally perfectly-coiffed hair was damp. He wasn’t doing anything. He was just… standing there. This was odd, of course, but my brain wasn’t quite processing on that level, and instinct took over as I called out to him, part of me relieved to see him and part of me rapidly panicking as I realized that he was in imminent danger.

He stiffened as he heard me call, and for a moment did nothing, but then he began to turn, and as he did so I was struck by the odd realization that I hadn’t seen him shirtless since high school, even amidst all the action films he had been involved in throughout the years. And when he finally turned around I saw why.

Exactly centered on his stomach, burned into the flesh, were the letters “J. F. F.” Jones Family Farms. His father’s personal brand.

That was, of course, the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was his face. He didn’t look flushed, didn’t look like he had been exerting himself, didn’t expect to look anything like you would expect someone who had been trapped in a house fire to look. His mouth was grinning, his teeth that Hollywood white, unblemished by plaque nor ash nor soot. His eyes were crying, the tears turning to steam on his cheeks.

The third thing I noticed were the charred and blackened corpses at his feet. I didn’t recognize them. Even the greatest medical examiner on the planet wouldn’t have been able to recognize them. But I didn’t have to be able to recognize them to know them.

Apollo was still looking at me as my eyes drifted back up to return his gaze. After a moment, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and took a puff. I hadn’t seen him take out a light.

Still grinning, still crying, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “You should go.” And I did.

I didn’t look back as I walked away from the Jones family homestead, but I did listen. I listened to the crackle of flames as they licked at the aging wood of the well-loved home. I listened to the occasional crash of a piece of the second floor falling to the first, or of a door finally losing the battle against its own frame. I listened to the dull roar of the thick black smoke as it trailed off into the clear blue sky. And I listened to the long, terrible, agonizing scream as for the final time in his life, Apollo burned.

Supplementary Comments

Well this is… interesting, to say the least. Receiving statements about celebrities always is, and it happens more frequently than one would think.

Apollo Byrne, born Ezekiel Jones, famously perished in a fire while visiting his family home in Casper on June 21st 2010, alongside both of his parents. He was an only child, and left behind no romantic partner or children of his own. The fire was discovered late in the day by a USPS driver come to deliver the day’s mail, and by then it was far too late to save the house or anyone inside.

Mrs. Andrea Roberson bears no apparent connection to Mr. Byrne save for their shared origin in Casper. At no point in the immediate aftermath of the events described did she attempt to take her story public, and at no point prior did she confide in anyone about her past relationship with Mr. Byrne. We can assume that a possible exception was her wife, one Shirley Chau, but she passed away in late 2012, apparently after a mishap in the kitchen of the restaurant she worked at.

Ara is attempting to secure permission for us to interview Mrs. Roberson, but doing so may be tricky, as the latter is currently serving a 30 year sentence in the Colorado State Penitentiary after multiple felony arson convictions.

-Amy A. Ampharos, Head Archivist February 21st, 2017

[drumpfwatch]

Here’s a quick one about the events in Christchurch.

Briefly, on the Youtuber PewDiePie: I don’t like the guy, but I don’t think he’s a Nazi or anti-semite in any besides the way he doesn’t care about Jewish people. I won’t blame him for it, because it’s not like he encouraged violence directly. But I hope that this will be a good, clean, soul searching moment for the man.

Pewds, if, somehow, you manage to read this, I’m sorry for all the shit you’ve been getting, but you need to grow up. To some people, your jokes are not jokes. The Nazis refer to you as a great source of getting young people into the movement. You’re not a bad guy, as far as I can tell, but at some point good people don’t let Nazis use them for propaganda. Be better.

I’m sure he’s been talked about to death though, which I think is sort of what the shooter wanted.

Before I continue, I want to make it clear that I have not read the man’s manifesto or...anything about him. I don’t even know his name, and I want to keep it that way. I know enough, and I’ll get to that.

See, the shooter’s manifesto was similar to other psychopaths in that he was hoping to start a religious race war of sorts. He called Muslims “Invaders” and talks about his mission as one to cause chaos, upset people, and most importantly defend his homeland.

Disgusting.

Make no mistake about it, this is terrorism. Terrorism is any violent act intended to get a reaction, earn renown, and get revenge. Most importantly, the targets are interchangable. When Osama Bin Laden attacked the United States, it didn’t matter that he chose the World Trade Center partly because of his political philosophy, but frankly would have been happy with anything on American soil. Osama didn’t hate the World Trade Organization with a bloody vengeance and want to shut it down completely - he wanted to hurt America in a place people couldn’t ignore it. He wanted people to know about the horrors America had done to his people so very long ago. Actions he wanted revenge for.

This man clearly wanted notoriety, he said as much in his manifesto. He also wanted revenge on the Muslims because how dare they exist, I guess. And he wanted the reaction of war and battle. He wanted people to turn on PewDiePie and have that draw more people into his way of thinking. And that’s about all I’m going to talk about this idiot and his agenda.

The point is, this is clearly, without a doubt, and without exception, an act of terrorism. This isn’t something that can or should be equivicated over. It was terrorism, and a spade is a spade. End of discussion.

So imagine my joy when, after a little bit of time determining things, the Prime Minister of New Zealand came forward and called it terrorism. She then denounced members of parliament who held racist viewpoints, and attended the funerals of the dead in hijab despite not being a Muslim. She also promised to crack down on hate groups and start working on gun control. Imagine that. Imagine a government seeing guns used for these horrific acts and saying “Maybe we shouldn’t sell assault rifles so easily?”

There hasn’t been time to solidify everything yet, but I’m so happy they’re already taking steps. The kiwis are doing a good job!

I was so god damned happy to see the response. Even the people weren’t having any of the alt-right’s shit, with common folk egging a racist politician. It was a wonderful site.

That said, when our own American politicians refused to call it terrorism, and our news anchors did everything they could to blame Muslims without actually saying they were blaming Muslims…

    Well, I’d like to say I was disappointed, but that would imply I expected anything else.

Some of them are, of course, not hideous scumbags. I won’t name names on either side at the moment, but I will say pretty much everyone on Fox News is in the “bad” category in this regard. I think my (least?) favorite example is when one of the hosts took the opportunity to slam Congresswoman Ilhan Omar of Minnesota as being “Unamerican” because she wears a “Hee-jayb”, thus proving she has no interest in the American Constitution and only wants to enstate Sharia Law. As if her Christian friends haven’t done exactly that nonsense to our secular nation.

But most disgusting of all is why this post gets a pass on to this blog is our President. Donald. J Trump, who lost the popular vote by over 2 million, decided to spend all weekend losing his shit. Not only does he refuse to call this a terrorist action, he basically kept screaming like a chicken with its head cut off about all the people on Fox News who had been rightly chastised for their insensitivity or stupidity.

He failed to denounce white nationalists as a problem (probably because he is one) and just. Disgusting.

If you’re not going to be supportive, shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down, and let people who actually know things about terrorism and Muslims actually say shit.

[haengbokjae-blog]

fae/fairy jae au

genre: fluff!!!

word count: 2501

A/N: fae is really the same thing as a fairy, its just the common male term for fairy!!!

lets pretend this Doesnt Suck ok? ok ty (and if im completely honest,, the part of the fairytale is a True Story from my childhood,, my dad always told me ab it so i thought it was kinda sweet ok anywayshifg)

this is heavily inspired by @/chenle ‘s demon!jae au, you really should check it. its so beyond precious!!

(this gif is literally so perfect for this .. just wait uwu)

so yknow youre just a Soft Soul

you like to take time away from all the stress of your busy life

after coming home from your classes and taking care of homework or tidying up or making dinner

bc yknow a gal’s gotta eat

sometimes u just like to go outside in your garden

(its french style,, really lovely tbh)

and relax.. Listen to music, play music

bask in the summer sun and feel the breeze in your hair

just girly things yk

imsosorry

anywa y s .. ,,,. .

you would also bring your violin out every once and a while if the neighbors weren’t home, or even if they were, the complaints were sparing because

Lets face it

youve been playing since you were seven years old.. You’ve just turned twenty now..

you’re good

uhh yeah. Hehe xd ok so

since you were a child, your dad always liked to indulge you in these beautiful fantasies, letting your pure mind take you away to something better than reality

you felt like magic was real for so long..

he told you, that everytime you laugh and smile, a fairy was born.

they were all around you, and if you listen closely, you would hear them giggle along with you :’)

of course now, you don’t believe it,, wh- pssh thats nonsense

tbh your heart just wished these things were real, that the make believe could become reality just for a day

things would be so simple, so beautiful, you could be a princess like your dad always said you were, and you could live a pretty life with the birds and fairies and and and

after a particularly stressful day, you returned from class to the house you owned by yourself near campus (for convenience yk) and just decided it was a day that you needed to take time for yourself

so , like a sensible human being, you put on the prettiest white sundress you had, you let your hair that was once tied up fall gently against your back, you poured yourself a glass of champagne (with basically more fruit juice than champagne bc bitter alcohol isnt cute)

and brought out your violin along with a little bowl of fruit and sighed before letting it all go once your bow hit the strings

you decided to play one of your favorite pieces, Introduction and Rondo capriccioso in A Minor, Op. 28

you only got a minute in before your neck started to hurt, you dropped your right arm and put your violin in your lap before sighing, giggling a bit, and taking a quick sip of your little champagne concoction

because damn it just felt nice to let go and play after not having been able to in such a long time

but before you could rest your violin under your chin again, you heard

a Boy

and …. is that a giggle?

s-shit thats precious..

WAIT

you look around, knowing you dont have anyone living near you thats near your age

its literally all old folk okay-

and right near the peonies, is this little mist

b-but your sprinklers arent on..

the mist starts to rise and suddenly, theres glitter in the mist

i-its pink… uwu ?

and once the mist clears, out steps a boy

a really cute boy

a very tall boy

“why’d you stop? it sounds so beautiful…”

your brain : w-wUAaAAAAaAA

you:

he’s… a fairy????

the tall boy blinks once before revealing the brightest, most beautiful smile

he walks over and sits himself down next to you in the plush grass, a pair of iridescent wings slowly moving and fluttering like a butterfly’s, and pops a blueberry from your bowl of fruit into his mouth

you’re literally sitting there…. Dumbfounded

did a fairy literally just pop up because you were laughing

dAD WAS RIGHT

“a-are you a…       f-fairy?”

his smile (and his little wings) legitimately dropped so fast

“i’m not a fairy im a fae.”

“there IS a difference okAY??”

“so.. y/n, right?”

“hOW DO YOU-”

“i come around sometimes”

“i read your schoolwork, your diary”

oh … oka- hEY WHA

after getting a better look at him u just kinda realize

wait why is he … beautiful

literally his skin is shimmering and his ears do the pointy thingy

“so.. why dont you play some more, sweets? you’re really good! after all, i came all this way to hear it..”

is he? …. flirti- no. no he’s not.. chill out y/n just bc he’s cute doesnt mean he thinks you are too

here you are . sitting, confused, theres a FAIRY fae in front of you

but … here goes nothing i guess?

you start to play again, and immediately he sighs dreamily and you can feel him staring at you with those sparkly eyes

all of a sudden, he reaches out and puts something in your hair, so your bow screeches on the string and you reach to touch whatever it is because the cheeky fae might have-

“nO stop!! its just a rose”

you look around

owo

“wai- i dont have roses planted in my garden right now...”

“well thats okay” he muses, then blows a few rose petals from his palm in your face

“i can plant some in your garden right now if you’d like! it needs a little freshening up…”

muttering while looking around “oh.. more freshening up than i anticipated” thinking u couldnt hear

u… u could

“hHEY ITS THE BEST I CAN DO IM A STRUGLGIN COLLEGE STUDTENT”

he just sticks out his pink tongue at you, and you notice how plump his lips are

they seriously look like rose petals.. this fairy fae

fairies and fae alike are described to be mischievous

what more can he get up to??

dont worry. a lot.

“well mr. fae, what will you do to my garden? my mother and grandmother helped me out with it, i dont want to go overboard and ruin it, they worked hard an-”

“if you please, my name is jae. and don’t worry. i know what i’m doing! you humans are too careful. have some fun!”

and as soon as he would even scan his eyes over the vines creeping up the side of your house, or the bushes of blackberries or the small rows of flowers, they all flourished, growing in ample numbers, adding sprouts of fruits and vegetables and spreading throughout the span of grass of your backyard.

your jaw was literally

...hanging open

“oh my… i-” you breathed. “j-jae..”

“you’re welcome!” he laughed, beaming down at you

the sun was literally shining brighter because he was there

the rest of the afternoon he stayed and watched you play violin, asking about different songs, who wrote them, when they were written, what you think the mood is

and slowly the sun faded and the sky grew pink

and everything was bathed in a warm light, jae’s eyes were still shining and luminous

“its been such a nice time, but i really should be going, i have pets to feed and a hut to clean”

ngl you were disappointed. you knew you’d miss him even if you only just met

but like… being needy? whos she?

“you’ll see me again, dont worry!” he smirked

“h-how did you-”

“i didn’t, but good to know you enjoy me so much!” he shook his head a little, laughing

he grabbed your flute of champagne and sipped until there was only a small bit left

he literally dared to turn the tall glace around so that the place where his lips had been

were now touching your lips

your face literally got as red as the tomatoes jae planted in the corner

you grabbed the flute of champagne, turned it, and sipped

(angrily??) can u sip angrily? (doesnt matter, u did it)

jae laughed once more and just sighed “you really are something, y/n”

“i-iTS A GOOD THING DONT WORYR”

for once today, he was the one flustered and scrambling to save himself.. funny…..

“w-well look. i have a way you can call for me.”

and out of the palm of his and, he revealed a little bell.

you held out your hand, and when he placed it in your palm, you realized just how much bigger he was than you

like damn for a fae you’re a Long Boi

you tried to ring it, but it was silent

????

“it’s too high for humans to hear, so you can be discreet with it”

“well how do i know that it’s working?”

he grinned and grabbed your shoulders, then moved your hair away from your right ear, then your left, kissing each.

your face is darker than the tomatoes he grew for you now ok a   y

“w-whAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?”

“ring the bell now”

you shook it lightly, and you could hear the tiniest little tinkling noise

“so you can hear this anywhere?”

“that’s right!”

“you had to kiss me for that?”

“well no, you could it hear as soon as i touched your ears. i only kissed them to get a reaction out of you”

“can the bell send you away too, or?” you gave him A Look

“alright, alright, i’ll be on my way then” he raised his hands in defeat.

you laughed though, he was really something..

“just ring when you need me, y/n” he called, and with a wink, the mist reappeared, replacing the lanky body with wings

you sighed and grabbed your violin, the bowl and the empty flute, and walked inside

that night, you lay in bed, studying the little bell. it was golden with a delicate J engraved into it

your eyes were drooping while you looked over the bell, and slowly you drifted off to sleep

during the night, the bell had fallen onto the floor, and because it was so small, you didn’t hear it ring, but jae sure did

so around like 5am, jae poofed into your room

mist, glitter and all

seeing you were asleep, he was confused at first, but picked up the bell from the floor and put it on your bedside table before walking out of your room into your kitchen

around 7am, you awoke to the smell of tea being brewed

it smelled so nice and warm,, the thought really could put you right back to sle-

what the f- w-why is tea on its 7:12 in the morning

you threw your legs off of the bed, your feet finding your slippers

and you grabbed the bell, clutching it to your chest

because.. i dunno what if something bad happens?

oh christ what are you thinking what is a fAIRY BOY GOING TO DO TO PROTECT YOU?

you round the corner to see..

“jae?” your groggy morning voice makes him turn and his wings twitch and flutter and his cheeks turn a rosy pink (he would never admit to that happening tho, try it lmao)

“good morning, flower” he said gently while flicking his finger and pulling out a chair at your dining table, cueing you to be seated

“you dropped your bell really early this morning, so i just decided to not make my trip here for nothing…” he spit out

was he being .. bashful??

“you put tea on?”

“and i made muffins, i hope you dont mind i used your kitchen”

thats actually…. really sweet

no one but your mom has ever made you breakfast

you nodded wordlessly and grabbed a cup of tea from his hand

“i don’t have a teaset like thi-”

“i brought my own” he said quietly

why is he so shy all of the sudden i-

he always teases you so whats changed now huh

he brings over two plates with muffins on them, meaning you two were going to eat together

you decided to take the first bite and ….

they were so goo d  like what

and ig he noticed you blushing because all of the sudden he was so proud

“glad you like them”

“t-they’re alright” you said stubbornly

he grinned and shook his head, taking a bite

you both finished breakfast together, talking a bit along the way, him teasing you more about not wanting to admit that he’s actually a damn good cook

and finally you realized your class would be starting soon… fuc

“what time is- oh GOd i have class in thirty- jae, i’m sorry but i need to go- shit we need to cLEAN okay quick i’ll take th-”

“you get ready, i’ll tidy up” he said immediately

“but- don’t be silly! Cmon i can take-”

“y/n, im not necessarily assertive for much, but i will be now. go. i can take care of this”

this mans… is he really ?

you were stopped in your tracks but he raised an eyebrow at you

and you turned away sO FAST to hide a blush bc

wow this fae is … g orge o u s ok

and since you were turned around

(and not to mention class was quickly approaching and you couldnt afford to waste more time) you decided at last to just leave jae to it

you could just feel him smirking in such a satisfied way hghfh

you marched on to your room and picked out a casual outfit and just threw it on, then proceeded to brush your teeth and braid your hair rather messily

you emerged again and the kitchen was … spotless??

(better than it had been, to your embarrassment)

“w-hoW DO YOU”

“y/n, class?”

“oh dEAR YOU’RE RIGHT”

you quickly ran to the door with jae at your heels and turned to say goodbye.

“until next time...i guess?”

only “ig” because who knows when he’ll just pop up, does the bell even matter to him?

protip: it doesn’t

PRO protip: he’s gonna show up when he wants bc lets face it he wants to be around you as much as he can but he’d never admit that

unless u did first

“yes, you can count on seeing me soon”

why is he being mysterious .. explain

you cocked your head bc . tf jae

but he only grinned at you and leaned against the doorway

“i’ll lock your doors when i leave, you go on y/n”

“well, goodbye then jae”

(rather upset bc .. in all honesty, being away from him already felt wrong)

you turned around before making your way down the path leading to your doorstep

“thank you again for breakfast”

(you made an effort to smile [much to your own chagrin, bc part of you is so tsundere but you .. wanna make his heart flutter like he makes yours bc payback… yea])

he shook his head while letting out a soft chuckle

“until later, little flower”

and with that last flirty phrase, he winked and disappeared with his usual mist

as you walked down the sidewalk to campus, you took his bell from your pocket and studied it more, with a smile lingering on your face.

[love-max1982-us]

However with an increasingly diversified global Rogue portfolio

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[pudgecuddles]

Ugh needa rant about a phone game I’ve been playing:

* some details changed and names censored for privacy

I’m a member of the strongest guild on my server. Like, monopoly levels strong. There’s like, two other competitors and they look like ANTS in comparison.

To be a strong player, you need to be part of a strong guild.

Basically, if one were to be shunned or even kicked from “o** o**”, you would be toast.

My grievances stem from the clique like atmosphere the guild has developed, and the fact that like, half of the members are half my age.

The post-pubescent members are the most powerful on the server. They constantly reach the highest rank in competitions. They get the highest rewards for most damage in events. They have the rarest mounts, pets and outfits.

Needless to say, they’ve spent lots of time and money on the game. They’re the bosses of the server.

I don’t have a problem with this. You find it in every game and they’re good players, they’ve earned it in my opinion.

My problem is that, given that they’re the most powerful players, they have pretty much final say in everything from who gets what event win to who deserves an achievement more.

They have a discord server where they chat about events and plan achievement hunting, which they’ve invited me to. I appreciate being involved, however this has only shown me just how much of a clique they really are.

L owns the discord, K is the “supreme” of the server, M owns the guild, A decides achievements.

It’s a tightly run ship, which I usually appreciate if it weren’t for the exclusion and the hypocrisy they occasionally dip into.

I’m level 108, a pretty neat number for how long I’ve been playing (two days after our server was online). The elites of the server are from 118-130 in levels and nearly double my strength due to buying limited heroes and upgrade packs.

That isn’t to say that they don’t work hard. They’re online nearly all the time! So don’t think that I hate them or anything. I actually appreciate how they monetarily support the developers, which in turn tells the company that there is interest in the game and that it should be tended to and updated.

It’s just, recently, they’ve been super extra about things. Probably because they’ve already gotten all wins and achievements several times over and have gotten bored with it (they’ve literally said this) so they decided to score some morality points by creating a lottery wheel to decide who gets to be #1 next.

It seems fair, right? The untouchable, unbeatable elites giving the common folk a chance at a pity victory. The lucky winner feels a vague sense of accomplishment and the elites feel a vague sense of moral generosity.

The problem is, the lottery wheel they use to decide who gets to win next? Only includes the cliques names.

There’s 61 members in the guild and only like 35 are active. Only 25 of them are in the guild discord and only 12 slots on the wheel.

Those 12 people? The clique.

Only once the entire clique has been “taken care of” do the elites start asking around those lower than level 105 if they need a win or two.

My irritation begins with one of the clique being chosen for an achievement which requires 3 consecutive wins in a flash event. K makes sure that everyone is in on the fact that it is J’s turn and that we should vote for her only.

I don’t usually participate in the finals for this event, only the preliminaries, so I wasn’t too bothered.

Turns out, someone (vague posting) “stole” the win! How dare they not be in the loop! How dare they want to play the game the way it was meant to be played! How dare they maybe be a literal 7 year old! For shame!

I missed the final voting event and woke up to a very righteously upset K @ everyoneing in general.

First the vague posting. K silently shames the person who “stole” the win despite most people knowing who it was.

Second the fake niceness. “It would mean a whole lot!” while in the same message saying “Wait. Your. Turn.” Pick a tone K.

Third, “We have a name picker for a reason.” Yeah, a name picker with like, an 8th of the guild in it. I know for a fact that mine isn’t, and neither is a couple of my friends on there.

“Please, PLEASE try not to steal wins?”

Hun. The game was meant to be played this way. There’s no such thing as stealing.

“I don’t even want to win anymore.” Guilt tripping. The most powerful player in our server saying that she’s bored of being number one is supposed to motivate us into also not wanting to be number one?

“It isn’t fair to the chosen one if their win is taken away.” The chosen one is taken from a short list of your closest friends, exclusively. The only thing they got lucky about was being over level 120 and thus liked by you.

Besides the hypocrisy, I think what I’m mostly mad about is the fact that the only ones with the chance to win a win are high level players. When you win any mini-game here, you get rewards that are very powerful and rare. These would be a huge help to lower level player's progression in the game.

This specific flash event is formulated so that although higher level players have a bit of an advantage, a lower level person could easily take number one if they were strategic about it.

This rewards those who plan ahead even if they wouldn’t normally receive rewards like this. Unlike the other flash events where it has to do purely with power levels, which only the elites would have a chance to win.

By socially and morally high-jacking all events, K and her crew have not only guaranteed constant wins for the clique, but also shamed the average player out of even participating in these easier games for fear of “ruining” a streak for someone superior to them.

The intentions were pure, but the execution sucks.

Any other mini-game and I wouldn’t have a single issue with it. But the only one that you can win without being a 5 million power score player? Oh my god, just let it be a fair competition!

You don’t have to micromanage this event! You just vote for the prettiest dress! Your 5 million power score doesn’t effect this whatsoever!

Sure! Make a lottery for the fighting games! You always win those anyway! But oh my god, this one isn't a competition you need to control!

(a more petty irritation that I have with them is the fact that I am never invited to be part of a team for a world wide (not just server) event because "Sorry! We already chose teams ahead of time!" when in actuality I'm 90% sure it's because I'm 10-15 levels lower than them and would hold them back. The rewards for this event are massive and the competition is strong so I can see why they wouldn't want me, but still it kinda stings.)

[whereareroo]

FALSE PREMISES

WF THOUGHTS (11/14/20).

Trump received 73 million votes in the election. That's 10 million more than he received in 2016. Does a 10,000,000 increase smack of voter fraud to you? If the system was rigged against Trump, how did he surpass his former total by 10 million votes? Trump didn't lose because of voter fraud or because votes were improperly counted. He lost because Biden, who received 78 million votes, beat him "fair and square."

Despite the huge body of evidence which proves that Trump is a pathological liar, millions and millions of people continue to believe whatever Trump says. They believe Trump's claim that he is the victim of "voter fraud." They believe Trump's claim that recounts will overturn the results of the election.

Trump's latest lies are very, very dangerous. He is attacking the very foundation of our democracy. He is trying to permanently undermine the credibility of our elections. This is very serious stuff.

If you are a Trump voter, I beg you to ignore Trump's lies about voter fraud and recounts. It is very important that you believe in the integrity of our elections. Please look at the facts instead of Trump's lies. Isn't your loyalty to America, and to our democracy, more important than your loyalty to Trump? Please don't damage America by believing, and repeating, Trump's dangerous lies.

Let me give you the facts. Please consider these facts with an open mind. The facts don't lie.

1. VOTER FRAUD IS VIRTUALLY NONEXISTENT IN AMERICA.

A. Think about how our elections for president work. There are 50 "mini-elections," one in each state. Right off the bat, there are 50 state officials (usually the Secretary of State) monitoring the elections. Every official has a big staff. To rig an election, the officials and their staffs would have to coordinate with each other. There's no way that a bunch of election officials, and hundreds of staff people, could wrongfully influence an election without getting caught.

B. Keep thinking about the process. In every state, there is a county election official who monitors the election activity in their county. Within each county, there are dozens of "district captains" who monitor the election activity in their district. At each polling place, there is a manager who monitors the election activity at that polling place. Once again, all of these administrators are surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of staff people. In short, within each state there are thousands of people who monitor election activity. Voting fraud would involve coordination between hundreds of people. They couldn't do it without getting caught.

C. On top of everything else, there are "observers" all over the election process. Every step is observed and monitored by members of the political parties. Every step is observed by members of the media. For voter fraud to occur, a number of observers would have to be involved. It doesn't happen. If it did, the other observers would sound the alarm.

D. Common sense alone should tell you the people who run our elections don't engage in voter fraud. Our process involves too many people. There are too many eyes on the process. In addition to the fact that it would be wrong, election officials don't attempt to manipulate the process because they'd be caught. When Trump says that the election officials from Blue States engage in voter fraud, he's lying.

E. If you don't trust what your common sense tells you about the integrity of our elections officials, try Google. I dare you to find a case where an election official was caught engaged in voter fraud. It doesn't happen.

F. Voter fraud by individual voters happens so rarely that it never influences the outcome of an election. A recent study by the Brennan Center for Justice found that the chance of getting struck by lightning is greater than the chance that an individual voter will commit voter fraud.

G. If you're a Trump supporter, don't take my word that individual voter fraud is an extremely rare and inconsequential occurrence. Maybe you'll listen to the Heritage Foundation, an extremely right-wing organization that actively supports Trump. The people at Heritage did a major study of "mail ballot voter fraud" and "in-person voter fraud." For mail ballots, they analyzed 250 million ballots cast between 2000 and 2019. They only found 193 fraudulent ballots. Thus, the fraud rate was 0.00007%. Let's call it 0%. For in-person voting, the Heritage folks picked 6 suspicious states and they looked at all votes cast for 16 years. They were looking for things like voter impersonation, multiple voting, voting by non-citizens, and voting for dead people. They found only 13 cases of in- person voting fraud. Let's call that O% too. The point is that even the very conservative Heritage Foundation admits that in-person voting fraud is virtually nonexistent. Trump is lying when he talks about individual voters committing voter fraud. Don't listen to him. (Trump supporters might question anything from Loyola University, but they studied 1,000,000 in-person votes--from 2000 to 2014--and found only 31 fraudulent votes.)

H. I can bore you all day with stories that prove that voter fraud is a myth. Let me give you 3 quick examples that might be convincing to Republicans:

▪The Secretary of State in Kansas, Kris Kobach, is a huge Trump supporter. After the 2016 election, he spent 2 years looking for voter fraud in Kansas. He found 9 cases.

▪There was recently a lawsuit in Texas regarding its strict Voter ID law. Texas is very pro-Trump.

Evidence in the lawsuit included the results of a voter fraud investigation that had been done by the Texas Special Investigations Unit from 2002-2014. The investigation found 2 cases of voter fraud.

▪Before the 2016 election, the Republican Governor of Florida (Rick Scott) launched a major effort to purge noncitizens from the voting rolls. They reviewed the records of 12,000,000 voters. They identified 85 wrongfully registered noncitizens, but only 1 of them had ever voted. I'm glad I didn't pay for that investigation.

I. I like court cases. I'm sure you don't want to hear about the hundreds of court decisions which find that voter fraud is virtually nonexistent in America. For Trump supporters, let me provide three quick examples from Republican states:

▪In a 2016 elections case in Texas, referring to the time period from 2004 to 2014, the federal court found that there were "only two convictions for in-person voter impersonation fraud out of 20 million votes cast in the decade."

▪In a 2016 case in North Carolina, the federal court found that the state "failed to identify even a single individual who has ever been charged with in-person voting fraud in North Carolina."

▪In a 2016 case in Indiana, the home of Mike Pence, the state Supreme Court found that there was "no evidence of any in-person voter fraud actually occurring in Indiana at any time in its history."

J. This week, with respect to the 2020 election, The New York Times contacted the top election officials in all 50 states. The Times asked if the state had encountered any statistically relevant illegal voting. Not surprisingly, 49 states reported no relevant voting issues. Texas, of course, did not respond.

K. The Department of Homeland Security, part of the Trump Administration, just issued a report with respect to the 2020 election. It says that: "The November 3rd election was the most secure in American history." It also says that: "There is no evidence that any voting system deleted or lost votes, changed votes, or was in any way compromised." Those are the words of Trump's own people.

L. I have end the voter fraud discussion here so I can make a few comments about the ridiculousness of recounts. All Americans, especially Trump supporters, should have full confidence in our electoral process. The facts show that voter fraud--by election officials or by individual voters--is virtually nonexistent in America. Trump is lying when he complains about voter fraud.

2. RECOUNTS WON'T CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE ELECTION

A. Trump is also lying when he claims that he will win after the votes are recounted in a few states. The history of recounts proves that Trump is a liar.

B. In effect, the presidential election is 50 separate statewide elections. An organization called "Fair Vote" has studied every statewide election from 2000 to 2019. Here are the facts:

▪There were 5,778 statewide elections.

▪There were 31 recounts.

▪ Only 3 recounts overturned the original results of the election. In all those cases, the original margin of victory was less that 2,600 votes.

▪In the 31 recounts, the average shift of votes was 430 (0.02%). The largest shift of votes was 2,600 (0.11%).

C. Thus, history tells us that recounts normally do not change the vote tally very much. For the sake of argument, let's say that the shift might be 500 votes.

D. Right now in this election, here are the vote deficits that Trump would have to overcome in the key states:

▪Wisconsin = 20,500

▪ Michigan = 145,000

▪ Pennsylvania = 55,000

▪ Arizona = 12,000

▪ Nevada = 36,000

▪Georgia = 14,000

Those deficits won't be eliminated by recounts. Trump would have to win several recounts to win the election. It's not going to happen. Trump is lying when he says he is going to win the recount war.

E. Thankfully, the courts follow the law and aren't hypnotized by Trump's recount fantasies. So far, Trump has launched 16 lawsuits related to recount issues. He's lost 15 of those cases. He won a minor Pennsylvania case that involved a small number of mail-in ballots that were received after a deadline. Those ballots had never been counted because the cautious election officials had set them aside pending the legal ruling.

F. This is a good place for me to note an obvious point regarding recounts. In the Senate races across the country, Republicans did better than expected. In House races, Republicans did better than expect. In general, Republicans are very pleased with how the votes were counted in the various states. Why is Trump the only one asking for recounts? Trump's opponents desperately wanted to win control of the Senate. If anti-Trump forces were rigging the election, why didn't they rig a few Senate races too? Trump's position makes no sense. Trump sticks out like a sore thumb.

G. It's instructive to look at 2 particular examples involving Republicans:

▪There was a big Senate race in Arizona. The Republican candidate, who got fewer votes than Trump, was defeated. She is not seeking a recount. If she thought there was a problem with how the votes were counted, wouldn't she want a recount too? Why is Trump the only person who is talking about recounts with respect to Arizona?

▪In a Michigan Senate race, a Republican candidate got the same number of votes as Trump and lost. He is not seeking a recount. Why is Trump still making noise about a Michigan recount, where he lost by 145,000 votes?

H. Everybody should disregard all of the noise about recounts. The election is over. Recounts are not going to change the outcome.

Let me conclude by focusing on Trump's dangerous behavior. It's been a week since Biden was declared the winner. The writing is on the wall. Is Trump unable to concede, or is he simply unwilling to do so?

Many who know Trump personally say that he is unable to concede. They say that his psychological deficits make it impossible for him to take personal responsibility for any setback. The same psychological deficits prevent Trump from removing himself from the spotlight. If Trump doesn't keep fighting, he will no longer be the center of attention. Trump can't do that to himself.

Others say that Trump is unwilling to concede because a concession is not in his self interest. Most people in this camp think that Trump is planning to launch his own media company. He needs to keep the controversy going until late January so his followers subscribe to his new outlet. His initial ratings will be better if he is dragged, kicking and screaming, from the White House. He's afraid that he will be forgotten, and his ratings will suffer, if he concedes now and acts rationally for the rest of his term.

I don't really care about Trump's psychological issues or his offensive commercial motivations. I care about the fact that, by spewing fake claims about voter fraud and recounts, he is damaging America. There is nothing we can do about Trump. Individually, however, we can each fight back against his lies. We should renounce his false claims, and we shouldn't spread his false claims. The facts, set forth above, reveal the truth. The election is over. Joe Biden will be the next president. Let's move on, and let's reject all attacks on our democracy.

[cryptechhq]

CrypTech: A Cultist Conundrum

I’m throwing up the first story written in the CrypTech universe. Fey wrote this one out and I love it so much. Minor editing was done by me, but it was her creation and it’s great. I’m only uploading it because I work nights and was awake while building this blog. Enjoy!

The bookstore was wedged like a cut of cheese between the buildings as he glanced up from his book. Shelves like honeycomb and the air thick with the scent of liquor. Tonight was game night, the night he waited for since the last blue moon. The night where the eye over the world flickered and he saw what lay deep within. Those who were never allowed to walk in the daylight, those who hid themselves.

Fixing his favorite shirt, the one with the flowers, palm trees and surfboards, he remembered his vacation. He had walked around looking for a certain book he never did find, but instead he found this shirt under a pile of blue and neon pink button up shirts. The ocean scent on the air, it had been the last time he saw his mentor.

Tails, claws, eyes and sharp teeth were upon him as he smirked. Here at this bookstore, that had stood since the old days, he felt at home. The store had always been here, along the veins of the earth that ran beneath it. The energy that twisted its inner blood throughout like highways. This small piece of land hid secrets under the dirt, where runes were once carved and people left the dead in the sea of dirt.

Playing with his phone, he went to take a picture of his dungeon and dragons group as the flash went off and he saw a woman hiss as she took off towards the back. Staring at the picture he saw the green like smoke that was around her and those cat like reflective eyes. A whisper she was, as he tried to recall her. Had he met her before? Grasping at his memories, he tried to think, but nothing was coming to him.

A sharp pain came to his mind as he got out of his seat and chased after her quickly. As he caught up, he saw she was in the small alley looking around. Time slowed as he went to say something to only be caught by what he was seeing. The mirror like shards around her slowly coming back up as he saw the pointed ears, reflective cat-like eyes and those sharp teeth. They reminded him of a dream, as he saw the mirrors take whole as she appeared human. As if the image he had saw before was nothing but a dream.

“Wait!” the word vomit hit the air as she stopped tilting her head looking at him.

“Why?”

What was she? He had seen creatures and monsters in the city before, but she was something new. Something different from the typical creatures he saw. Was she a witch too?

“Are you-” He went to ask, but he saw her eyes go wide before she took off down the alley. Turning around he noticed the shadow watching them, and as he looked back she was gone.

He had seen her at the bookstore before, on game night. But recalling her name was hard. He knew nothing about the others, aside from that a few worked in the city. But the dead zone was theirs. The area the city forgot about, with the cenmatry(?) building that once held patrons. Now it was just an empty shell, wrapped around with a grass fence.

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Entering the dead zone, the huge white shelter stood there in the middle of the street. No bus ever stopped here, only rushed down the road like a roach when the lights were turned on. The sign stapled to the boarded up window said “not in business.” as he fished for the keys in his pocket. The city forgot about a lot of things. Here in the center there was nothing, except boarded up shops and stores. Not a living creature dared to come through unless they were quickly passing through. No one ever stopped, unless they were like him. Those who have seen in the back of the eye and know the eyes does not see all.

Popping the door open, he kept trying to figure out what she was. Reflective mirrors, was it a spell or an enchantment. He was still learning more than his craft. Scribbling in his notebook, he came up with ideas, but was interrupted by a dripping sound. A single drip that tattered against the floor, the note played over and over again. As he searched for the source, he hoped a spring would not form from the ceiling, creating a waterfall.

A crash came from upstairs, and he rushed towards it. as he reached the top he saw her there, soaking wet and sniffling. Raising an eyebrow, he went to ask a question, but stopped as he saw blood running down her arm. He went to her side as she took a step back.

“Don’t.” It came out a hiss, and he raised his hands defensively

“I think I have a spell for that.”

“What?” She asked, as he flicked his wrist, and the cut on her arm slowly healed. Looking around she heard a noise and shivered.

“I gotta keep going, bye.”

“You’re safe here, warded the place myself. I’m Jakz, and you are?” He asked, as he looked around. Grabbing up an old shirt, he tossed it towards her. The shirt dropped like a dead bird as she watched him.

“Fey.” One word as she went to the window looking outside. Left, right, and up. Nothing was there. She crumpled near the window, taking in a breath.

“This is stupid, you aren’t CrypTech.”

He raised a hand, gesturing to the room. “This is CrypTech.” She ran a hand through her hair.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope.”

Leaning back against the wall, she let her shoulders drop. “You’re one person, and you state you have supernatural solutions. Ever dealt with pissed off cultist?”

“First time for everything. So what type of cultist?” He looked out the window before shutting the blinds, leaving the room dark. He went over and turned on a lamp. Sitting down in a chair, he looked at her as if telling her to come sit at the table. With a foot he tried to clean up the water on the floor.

“Also where did the water come from?” He asked. She sat down across from him wiping her nose with her arm.

“It was raining in Arcadia.”

“The city?” He asked as she made a face.

“For supernatural solutions you don’t know much. Arcadia is another name for…you know right?” She asked as he looked at her shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t tell me I am your first customer….” She let out a nervous laugh as she took in a sharp breath.

“Well, I am fucked. You’re what a warlock? Mage? Made a contract with a good neighbor?” She kept playing with the black rubber band on her wrist as she looked around taking in the room. The TV, the computer set up with four screens and the carved runes.

“No, I am a witch...and you are?”

“Give me your full name and find out?”

“Rumpelstiltskin.” He replied in a deadpan voice. Smirking she nodded her head.

“But yet don’t know what Arcadia is. Wow, didn’t get into Hogwarts or something?”

“Listen here, Tinkerbell.”

“Oh, so you do know what I am?” He made a face, she could be or couldn’t be, glamour magic was very common, especially around creatures that lived in the dead zone.

“You said cultist and you needed help. I do know some stuff about them.”

“Oh really, Mr. Potter.”

“Tell me everything, Tink.” He saw her smirk as she let the glamour drop.

“Kay, Jack?” She questioned as he shook his head. “Jack isn’t your name, how about another one with a J? Jake?”

“You said you needed help, Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo.”

She laughed as she wringed out her hair. “Cthulhu cultist.”

“In the desert?” He blurted as she nodded her head.

“Yes, they been recruiting out here and weren’t happy I called their old one or whatever sushi.”

“You must have done more for them to come after you.”

“I also took something, humans didn’t and shouldn’t ever have, maybe.”

“Easy. give it back, no more cultist.”

“Not so easy, that’s why I am here. If I wasn’t desperate I wouldn’t be here, I would be home googling answers.” She placed a book on the table as he went to touch it, she slapped his hand.

“Don’t touch, it’s the Necronomicon. It does stuff to humans.”

“How-?!” He saw her pull it back. Yet as her hands crossed over the book, it disappeared.

“You think they would have hidden it better. Also they never said I wasn’t…” She paused before finishing her sentence.

“Wasn’t what?”

She shook her head, “So help me deal with them and I’ll pay you.”

“I need more information.”

“I just told, you I took the book and now they are after me. When you took that stupid picture earlier it messed up my glamour, and one of them found me.”

“So that’s why you ran.”

“Why else would I run? We were in a middle of a campaign. And now my poor tiefling rogue is stuck unless you continued game. “

“You play Azura!” She rolled her eyes as he tapped his fingers against the table.

“We will go talk to them.”

“No.” She blurted, “Are you nuts, they are cultists and not the average cultists. They still use blood.”

“Like I said I need more detail.”

“Urgh.”

“Look you give me information about them, and your kind, and you don’t have to pay.”

“I can pay, no problem, but giving information is rather hard. Especially ‘cause your human. How do I know this isn’t going to end up like a episode of the x-files or something. I don’t want Trump coming after us.”

“Even creatures are scared of trump?”

“More like scared of what he can do. Like, hello, you live on this planet too.” Rubbing her eyes, she tapped her fingers against the table, before speaking.

“Fine. Ask and I’ll answer, but you have to help me get these sushi cultists off me. And no, I am not returning the book.”

“Why do you need it so badly?” He watched her as she looked at the mark on her wrist.

“Mostly, no human should have it. It’s like the ultimate necromancy field guide. Bet they can’t even read this.”

“You’re a necromancer, and?”

“You can ask more than one-word answer questions, you know?” Rubbing the back of her neck, she watched as he scribbled more stuff down.

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“Ever hear of good neighbors?”

“What, like State Farm?” he asked looking up from his notebook.

“Fairies, fae folk, elves, trolls, ringing something in that head?”

“Heard of them yes. So you’re a fairy?”

“sort of.”

“Arcadia is what. fairy land?”

Nodding her head, she glanced out the window. “Faerie it used to be called. But with all the fae names and stuff Arcadia was the best. So, Jacob how you gonna take care of the sushi cult?”

Glancing at his notes, “Well Wanda, we are going to go talk to them.”

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“We are going to die.” She stated as she dried herself off downstairs. He grabbed a backpack and a few items from the desks.

“Good thing you’re a necromancer.”

“Can’t re-animate myself, blondie.”

“What type of witch are you? Water, an element?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Locking up the shop, he stopped as she cracked her back. Quiet like always but something felt off.

“They hide in downtown, near the old church.”

His car chirped as she stood near it. “How did you get into my place? I warded it.”

She froze, her eyes never meeting his. “Ever have things go missing in your place?”

“Yes, but answer the question.”

“You left a welcome sign in the window. What does that do?”

“Stop with the riddles, Fey.”

Leaning against the car she crossed her arms over her chest. “You welcomed anyone who needs a welcome in. I am shocked you didn’t know about that rule. So pretty much any fae folk are welcomed, along with blood suckers. Also it's easy getting to places through Arcadia.”  

“Wait, have you been taking my stuff?” She got into the car as he got in the driver seat staring at her.

“Who knows? Could have been anyone in Arcadia going through the dead zone.”

“You better not have taken my Runic black dice set.”

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“Left up here.” The street lights guided the way. There were people out this night, walking along the shops. As he drove into a small parking lot he could see the huge black iron fences surrounding the old church. Large, grey and white stone, it used to tower over the city Now it was just a small building in a shadow of a corporate office.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he parked the car.

“There’s iron, if there’s a fight I am screwed. Also there’s not much dirt. More concrete than anything.  If I need to raise the dead I need dirt, they can’t break out of concrete. Modern coffins are bad enough.”

“We are talking not fighting. Let me handle it.”

Her eyes shifted as she curled her hands. He opened the fence, and she followed behind him, trying to not touch anything as she kept an eye out. Fixing his shirt, he ruffled his hair a little as he looked back at her.

“Where to from here?”

Shrugging her shoulders, “Not sure, I came from Arcadia to here. I didn’t have to enter the church this way.”

The door was falling apart as he pushed it open, letting it fall. Inside was a heavy layer of dust and spider webs.

“No one here.”

“We need to move the altar.”

“I thought you said, you never came in this way.” She started trying to push the altar as dust flew all over the place.

“This usually causes something to happen in action movies. Also I can use an extra set of hands.” The altar moved as she was huffing.

“Don’t work out much?”

“Shut up, Blondie.”

There were stairs leading down as she looked at him and then started down the stairs.

“You can see in the dark.” He whispered as she felt the walls as she walked.

“No, I am following the wall.”   A light was flickering as she stopped, and felt him bump into her. She stumbled as she saw cloaked figures running around like she saw before. “Uh.” It came out as she went to take a step back to stay there.

“Go.” He stated as she looked back at him.

She took one step as she saw a hooded head look towards her. “You.” A growl came out from the hooded person as she smiled and waved, “Hi. Sorry about calling your octo god sushi?” She walked slowly as she felt Jakz get in front of her.

“We are here to talk, nothing more.” The hooded figure glanced at him before sniffing the air.

“A human.”

“Middle man.” Jakz explained before grabbing Fey’s arm. She turned to look at him as he mouthed two words Trust me.

“She took something of ours.” The hood was pushed back showing a human with fish like skin. It took Jakz a thorough effort to not start humming a Lovecraftian Christmas Carol.

“Is there somewhere we can talk? Instead of right here? Like a café or something?” he asked. as he took in the hallways and lights.

“The chamber, Elder Craft should be there. This way.”

Following the fish like man, Jakz held on to Fey’s arm as she curled her fingers. The chamber was huge, and looked as if they were under the sea. Blues, greens and the scent of sea salt. A man was pacing as he stopping locking eyes on them. The fish man bowed his head,

“Elder Craft, a human brought the thief.”

“Good, reward him.” Elder Craft stated. As Fey looked at him the green smoke started to form around her.

“I am not here for a reward. Here to talk, Elder Craft, right?” Jakz stated as the smoke started to disappear, still lingering. “Why don’t you tell me about the book she took?”

“It’s none of your concern human.” Craft hissed as Jakz let go of Fey’s arm.

“It is my concern when you start hunting down my client.”

“She’s a thief.”

“Then how come the book belongs in Miskatonic University library? Is a thief a thief, if she took it from a thief and returned a lost library book?”

The elder walked quickly to Jakz face as he was a few inches away, hissing. “She did what? No.”

Fey glared, her eyes locked on the elder. As she glanced around she saw there were bloodstains being cleaned. The elder went to grab her, but stopped as lighting crackled from Jakz.

“Don’t touch my client. We done here? If you want your book, you’re going to need a library card.”   

Fey rubbed her wrist as she heard foot steps coming quickly. A growl as the elder looked at her.

“Sorry for calling your god sushi.” The elder made a face as he turned his back to them.

“Never come back here. Else when he wakens, you’re going to be the first sacrifice.”

“Bye.” Jakz went to say something she grabbed him as he felt sea sick. Everything was turning as he saw trees and lights and then they were back at the car, Fey taking quick breaths as he looked at her dizzily.

“What was that?” He tried focusing on something to stop the feeling of being at sea. She looked beat.

“A glimpse of Arcadia. I didn’t like that they were surrounding us, and they looked ready for a new sacrifice. Couldn’t have the guy helping me end up a soul for some sushi god.”

“Now to get the book to the library.”

She glared as she looked at her wrist. “No, our deal was I keep the book.”

“I have a plan. But more questions.”

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Smoke danced from the coffee cups as they sat in the studio apartment. Morning crept through the window, and Fey added another spoonful of sugar to hers.

“What now?”

He took a drink from his cup as he placed a hand on the table. “Can I see the book again? I am not going to touch it.” Crossing her wrist over the table, it appeared.

“I need it for a day.”

She took a drink as she glared. “What are you planning? You can’t touch it.”

“Why not?”

She sighed. “It corrupts human minds. The whispers of it often causes people to kill and, well, you saw the cult.”

“Then how come you can touch it?”

“Fae blood. Also, that library…”

He smirked as she looked at him, “It doesn’t exist.” She looked shocked as she took a spoonful of sugar and placed it into her mouth.

“You tricked a cult…who knows, maybe you have fae blood in you.” She smirked as he saw her rub the cover.

“Why didn’t you hide in Arcadia instead of coming to me? You said you were desperate but yet you seemed to be taking note of everything? What are you hiding?” She tapped the spoon against the coffee cup.

Cracking her neck, she had a smile on her lips, “It’s a long story as well...” She flipped out a knife, as crackling could be heard. She looked at him as she craved a symbol into the window’s glass. She put the knife away as she sat back down. “To keep other fae from entering. And blood suckers. And it’s a long story.”

“I have time.”

“Trade you a tale for your full name?” He let out a laugh as she put another spoonful of sugar into her mouth.

“Hey.” He blurted as she looked up at him shrugging. “You’re going to eat all the sugar.”

“I need to get my strength back, jumping to and fro is tiring.” He looked at her as she leaned back in the chair. He stared at the cover as blue lighting danced from his fingers. She saw him point his hand, and the sparks went to the computer.

“What are you?” He looked at her as he was focusing on the book.

“Hey.” She blurted as he closed his eyes. Sparks dying out as he smiled as she leaned over the table looking at him. Before slapping one of his cheeks like a seal  “Don’t be possessed. Come on I don’t need another corpse.”

“Boo.” She almost fell back as she glared like a house cat.

“What did you do?” She grabbed the book checking it over as she opened it looking at pages, flipping through them quickly.

“I made a copy.” Raising an eyebrow, she hugged the book to her chest.

“You downloaded the book…that’s new.”

Putting the book away she finished her coffee with a yawn. “This has been one hell of a night. Still can’t believe you ended that conflict with a lie.”

“I do that sometimes. How long were you running from them?”

“Four months. Any other questions, tech wiz kid?” He let out a laugh as she looked at the desktop screen to see the typed words moving as if alive.

“Want a job?”

“I don’t know, let me check my schedule.” She pretended to flip through a book as she nodded her head, “I can move grave robbing to tomorrow at midnight, and... oh no. Well, I can move that to next blood moon.” She looked at him. “I figured you were going to need help.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked

“You don’t know everything. Some things, yes. And you got yourself a silver tongue.  I did say I would answer any question. We made a deal.”

“What does that have to do with a job?”

“Don’t know much about fae folks, a deal is a contract. You’re looking at you new co-worker, Jules.”

“That’s not my name, try again co-worker.”

[nocancer]

Why It Rains

~~~~ an excerpt from a working novel by Cancer moon. ~~~~~**

Lately I’ve been channeling from a higher source. And it’s not something I have to keep up with. It feels like, natural almost. Like im always at the same level of it, or at least very close. I’m not gonna lie, I was scared at first. Scared that I would fail. Scared that I wouldn’t live up to the expectations I set for myself while meditating. But so far things are looking up. I even got that new computer I wanted. Who knows, for now I’m just gonna keep writing and go from there. I’m not too concerned with the trivial things that life likes to bother us with, seemingly always at the worst times imaginable. I might check out this internet thing too. It’s promoted as this fun happy place and if I didn’t know any better, I’d of taken that for face value, right off the bat like a sucker. Next thing you know the internet turns out to be a cold and lonely place, and I’m left to wallow in my own self-pity, clutching my knees in the fetal position, mad at myself for failing to see the internet for what it is, a stupid marketing scheme. The point is, I have to see for myself. That’s just the type of person I am. You can ask my mom that. She’ll tell you. Ask her about the time I told the guy who was fixing my alternator to shove it when he was trying to charge me a thousand. Mind you, I had the money. But you’re not supposed to be dishonest to me just ‘cause I’m a millenial. The guy pretty much called me that. He said, hey kid, try to be more polite next time. But I never listened. I don’t need advice from a deadbeat greasemonkey. Anyway, apparently everyone’s connected to the cloud via sites like facebook and instagram. And when people log on to jump in on the action, usually the first thing they do is say hi to their friends, and maybe even drop a smile or two to show them they care. And if they drop a heart then you know they already had a chance to settle in, and are just trying to take it to the next level, now that the internet, in all its digital, impermanent page swiping glory, is owned, unabashedly theirs.

Conscious apples of languid rotundity creep along countless borders of a pale grey sky. 

The pears are unwavering in the efforts of embassy, initiating calls backs when the time calls for it, and deceit when grape factions step in and intervene. 

“What are these meddling affairs, young pear?” asked the grape.

“I don’t know. It’s the apples control our every move. How we live. Our daily lives.”

“Hush with that nonsense. You are nothing but a pear, a young one at that, how could you possibly know who’s behind it all?”

“I don’t know.”

The grape and the young pear sat on a brook and wondered who was behind it all.

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You see this all-seeing-eye mural in Atlanta? On the side of Ravine across the street from the federal reserve building? Yeah. I could strip down naked and run to the middle of that intersection there and scream my lungs out until i started coughing up blood and act violent to anyone who approached me and i still wouldnt match the frequency of that demonic shit. People walk by it everyday going to work, going to lunch, going to walk their dog, and nobody bats an eye. An eye for the government, an eye for the media, an eye for world hunger. Not a single raised eyebrow goes towards whats in control of every aspect of their daily lives. Oh the president controls my life. But I voted for him, so its okay. Is what they would say, as they munched on Mcdonalds with vaccines in their arms and got mad at traffic because they were going to miss their favorite show. A show that retroactively fed into a never ending problem and response feedback loop that activates the reptilian part of the brain by broadcasting images of rape and pedophilia via techniques that the producers learned at Harvard’s school of broadcasting, which also used a system of coercion, this time in the blind trust the students had for their professors just because they dressed nice and said big words. You’re going places. This kid’s gonna be a star. 

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I’m only half of what I am without your other half to complete me. Only kids ask rhetorical questions. But why should I be any different? 

I live by the way side. Wherever the wind takes me. I notice things that most don’t. I’m not sure if what I think is valid or not. I don’t believe anything is valid. Likewise I dont believe anything is invalid. One things for sure. If there’s one thing I know to be true. Is that I’m not an adult. No, Definitely not. 

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Hiksos lamented blast fully daring the credence of all his undoing. Unjust and bashful forwritten to layers upong layers of drug smitten landscapes. 

“Youre good/” Said Jamie.

I see why she likes so much to hate on anyone she can get her hands on. And im not talking about physical hands. No, these are claws of misfortune. --The bad falls into a category still undefined by our human grasp.--

Apples on seminoles. Berries on amazing places we strove for. 

The graveyard was pure and unassuming as a place for the dead should very well be. And with that we took our ritual to newer, more fulfilling levels. Levels of which determine our outlook as shades between optimistic and cautiously realistic. With our futures in the balance, 

“Whatchu think dawg?” said Jerry. He was on his 2nd beer and 5th shot of vodka sprite. and I was on my mind long enough for nothing to be worth a damn. The vibe was dull, and the smoke gone. I lit a cigarette.

“I feel like shit.” 

“You good?”  J

“Yeah but I’m just tired like overall.” About life.

“Why not be happy about life? It’s all in your head. Just flip the switch. Like a light. On and off. Boom. No more stress.”  J

“If only if it were that easy.”

“It is that easy. That’s the thing.”

Sipping heroically, going farther and phasing out all menial contrivances. Searching for myself like the lost land of atlantis. Humanity will get what it deserves. 

“In due time” said Thomas. 

I look at orion and wonder if those faint stars below its belt are actually indicative of a warrior kneeling on one knee with his shield raised or if its a flaccid penis that hangs all the way down to his knee. Im a pervert, always have been. Theres no stopping how much i will crash thoughtforms together in a heinous way until they stick together and form a common truth. I’m on the last life cycle of a cat’s 9 lives. Theres really nothing to lose by being a pervert. I had a friend in high school who said we’re all gay. I dont remember when. He said it more than once. I dont know if he was gay. I didnt think like that back then, but I wouldn’t to be anything other than who I am today. But again, there’s no stopping a mind so spiritual that it can hold each and every possibility at once and consider them valid. Then an external force canceling out my infinity. And I’m left to deal with people as if playing some sick little game thats suppose to teach me a lesson or something. So that I can ascend to the next plane of existence. At least thats what I’ve heard. But when the night hits and everyone finally shuts up for once it seems much simpler than that. Like im watching myself through a lens bestowed on me by a god with no intelligence. And during the day he becomes intelligent, and I’m left trying to keep up with, on his terms. “Fuck you bitch” I tell it often. “Youre not real” I’d say over and over. “What the fuck” is the saying that gives closure to it all. The only reason God looks good on paper is because it’s a testament to the author being strong enough to have it in his mind and make sense of it. It’s a mark people wear like aushwitz that make their beliefs somehow something you should pay attention to because I’m physical and God’s not but I speak of God so therefore God’s physical so you should listen to me. But then thatd make the speaker God. 

By and by I’ve messed up hastily my dreams and aspirations. Tattooed on a building as ink drips down like an inner angst perceiving things as they are, and not what society says they should be. The happy medium an ephemeral code that could shift and shake into any causality one deems it to. The rulers of the world have taken domain over the one thing every human on earth has in common. I call this desire. They call it money. A body that begets greed and turns hatred to lust. Actions which motivate our inhibitions to phantasmagoria. Until we accept our place as lesser than the pettiness of our common folk. Shy and afraid, contingent upon basement dwelling lab rats who fane logic to reasonable bell curves while sucking nature dry of her own resources. The very nature that sunlight reflects upon his incessant rays which batter and tumble the distance. If only they knew she was her and he was them. But it doesn’t go like that here. Because if it did, then all karmas coming to a head would get their just due, and we’d be in purgatory. While heaven remained for the gods and earth for the mortals. And nothing can be God except authority to mortals when they’ve been tricked into accepting the state and thus have become it..

What a lovely home indeed. No one could bother me here. Except for the only one’s I knew. Because nobody knows I exist except for those who know me. I’d rather keep it that way. For a streak of doubt can enter me at any time and cause worry for my future. A future still so far away  because I lack the initiative to care. Maybe that will change now that I have room to breathe. Just when I thought I was going downhill for good, my dad came around for me. And now I have a responsibility to get me up in the morning. No more waiting in line for luck to befall me in my yoga. The truth is, when reality caved in itself, and I could see the dying whispers in the eyes of those around me, I accepted my estrangement from the happy things in life. My avoidance of the dastardly grotesque was keeping me back this whole time. I like darkness and pitiful efforts of circumstance that vibrate low enough to stay hidden from others, but high enough so that it is detectable by my astral receiver. Two of which is an outward expression of another. The extension of material that is necessary for movement to take place. Before this realization I endured through pain of my own doing.  

“How are you?” people would say.

And I never had a response.  

Telepathic centrifuges would scan my mind. Taking flight off far off reaches of iniquity. All facets calling upon a microverse for an answer. I an I. Then they’d be gone without hesitation.  

“Jerry’s calling” said Thomas.

“for what?” This guy wont leave me alone, I thought.

“I don’t know answer it.”

“Why are you bored?” I said.

“Yes, maybe he has weed.” Said Thomas.

“Ay whatsup man. Me and Thomas we’re just talking about you.”

“Oh word?”

“Yeah and then you call its like divine intervention or something?”

“Yeah thomas was tryna find some weed and you the first person he thought of so you must be doing something right.”

“Yo Thomas.”

“Oh hold up let me put you on speaker.” I said quickly.

“Is Thomas there? Yo Thomas.”

“Jerry, whats good?”

“I got the pack man, I heard you was lookin for a come up. I got the pack man.”

“Aight bet cus im bored as a motherfucka right now ya feel me?”

“It aint my fault.”

“Yo he do gotta big ass house tho I aint gone lie but like shit aint got nothin in it.”

“I just moved here a week ago.”  

“So for a whole week- Yo is today Friday?”  

“Yeah its Friday.” Who cares? I thought.

“So that’s last Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and now Friday, and you still aint got nothin in here but a fridge.”

“You aint even seen the whole house.”

“Nah you know you just in the middle of the carpet with no pillow no blankets or nothin.  

And you wake up and go open the fridge and aint nothin in it. Then you go back to sleep.”

“Ay what he dream about?” Jerry said through the phone.

He aint dream about much ‘cept for one occurring dream. Of a fridge, but this time it’s a mini fridge. And its pink and he’s able to move it around, so he takes it up to his room and opens the freezer door just a little so it’s a little crack and he starts beatin it up till he has a wet dream and wakes up.”

“Alright you took it too far. It was kinda funny before but you killed it.”

“Wait, Where’s the fridge now? It’s not in the kitchen?” Jerry said.  

“Bruh that’s the thing its just in the middle of the living room not even plugged in or nothin.”

“Jerry I know you so concerned about my god damn fridge but this time dude is lying over here.”

haha

“It’s in my kitchen like a normal person. Like I don’t know I guess you think this shit is funny or something but whatever come through and you can see for yourself.” Don’t talk to him he’s a loser was the attitude I was picking up. I thought they we’re beyond all that and capable of extraneous thought. Oh well, I guess I’m done with these idiots.

No more sitting around all day.

If I can see them for who I want, and not who they really are, it’d make no difference. 

It’s a best of both worlds type situation. I just hate that I have to resort to this.

Its a sporadic and unpredictable endeavor that can detach you from life’s depiction. Seemingly framing a purpose in cosmetics among layer-caked mine field of mind clouds. I want to be a positive addition to those around me. And for them to be honest to me in return. Honest  because everything around me is a nuisance. And dishonest It’s not necessary to have car insurance, police, governments. This realm is alive. 3 dimensions respective of splashes and 3rd parties. Because of this fact, I must be able to flow freely, grounded in freedom, estranged to control. Last summer when I jumped into the alleghany i felt freer than i have in a long ass time. Jerry asked me if he thought we’d still be here next year. I told him I didn’t want to think about it. That I was enjoying the moment.

“Man fuck that bitch.” T

“What? Who you callin’ a bitch?” J

“You know what I mean.” Thomas smacked his lips.

“I really don’t but whatever.” J

“Yo Jerry did you leave yet?” 

“How far away is it? Not too bad right?”

   “Nah it’s not too bad you’re like 30 minutes away. You’re in a nice area. Lots of rich people.” J

“Yeah I came up on it. It kinda just happened.”

“Whatchu mean it fell out of the sky?” Jerry asked.

“It’s been in my family for a while and I was lucky enough to be gifted it.” I said.

“That’s dope, you’ll get some good use out of it.”

“Yeah I’ma take advantage of what I got ya know? Make it so anyone can pull up as long as I fuck with them.” I said.

“Thats why I’m comin’ through. 

Just say its the spot and I’m there.”

“For sure. But yo, if youre bringing your girl over then bring some pillows and blankets to sleep on cus I only got mine.”

“I need some too.” Thomas joined in.”

“We’ll stop then.” I said reluctantly.

“

“And where are we gonna chill? We can’t just sit on the floor.” Thomas took his eyes off the road.

“Alright, theres a home depot near the chinese place we’ll go their while we wait.” I said.

“Does Home Depot have blankets?” Thomas said like he was so concerned.

“No but they got that outdoor patio section for furniture and shit, So I don’t know we’ll find something.”

            “They got mad carhartt jackets for the low low there. You should check them out.” 

           “Alright I’ll check them out.” The streetlights suspended time in space.

“Yo spicy egg rolls, add it to the list.” Jerry said finally.

“Sounds good.” Thomas replied. There was a pause.

“You headin’ out?” T

“Yeah. I am. Right now.” Jerry responded.

“A’ight I’ll see you when I see you.” T

I interrupted.

“I was gonna get spring rolls instead and we don’t want too many rolls so you want dumplings instead?” The thought popped into my head and I had to get it out.

“I dont really care either way” Jerry said.

“So yes on the dumplings? Pork, Chicken or beef?” I said.

“Dude I really dont give a fuck.” 

“A’ight peace.”

“Wait actually get some extra spring rolls. I don’t want my breath to stink.” Jerry was a quick thinker.

“Okay. Peace.” 

I ordered the chinese while Thomas turned the radio down.

It was 7:30 on a Friday. Traffic was still out and slow except on the highway. The plaza where Home Depot was sat on an indent so that a perimeter around us denied the sun a chance of bringing light to the inevitable darkness. Highway barricades exalted the east coast away from our position. I closed my eyes and listened to newly formed divinations stemming from a horizontal after-glow. What was AM was now PM. And just as I would prepare for a weekend of contract work,  I too was going to do the same for the night. Because Friday was in the air, telling me I was the cause of it.

Thomas pulled into the lot and flicked his cigarette a stop-sign to an array of F150s and pug-faced express vans that sat high enough to deem his reliable, good on gas mileage, crusty seated hand-me-down first-car shit-box a worthy proponent of wu-wei. It was the type of car that doesn’t speak for anything or reflect an image onto its owner other than its being there. 

At least this one had a little personality though, fashioned by who was behind the wheel, and the fact that I knew him through drive-ways of careless faces, drive-thrus, and drunken waffle house binges where we kept to ourselves and almost forgot it wouldn’t last. And even though the universe proved its worth to me, I cant help but feel theres in imbalance in my past.

That these were just moments. And days would go by. Blunts would get passed. Pets would die. We’d hope to not hear of our relatives dying, but that would happen to. Cause of death? Old age. It wouldn’t say that on the obituary. It was say something safe like stage 4 cancer or hodgekins lymphona. But everyone knows about the cap put on as at birth. That there’s a limit to how long we get to stay here. Sometimes we’d hear of our friends dying too. But those were rare cases. Few and far between. Unless of course you were the type of kid to attract that sort of stuff. Then you probably deserved it anyway. That pain. Irregardless of the pain it takes to die. You imagine how it must have felt in the body of your friend. Like they we’re on the otherside begging you to come with them. I’m free. They’d say. It only hurts a little. And unlike the old people, their obituary would read suicide. Basically an off-hand way of saying they needed jesus. Because in the end, nobody truly knows what would drive someone to do that to themselves. We can speculate all we want. They we’re bipolar. They wore funny clothes to school and we’re bullied as a result. But only someone with special access could consult them on that. To ask them why they denied life and chose death instead. Only someone who could be objective about the whole thing and not get caught up in their emotions could ask them this. In America that’s Jesus, God of funeral homes, shepherd of lost souls. The frustrating part, at least to me, is that all he can come up with is it was Satan’s fault. But that doesn’t do it for me. No. I need more than that. After all, Jesus, you faked your own death and ran away to the pyrynees. Did you not? You we’re too afraid to commit suicide. You half-assed your commitment. Maybe you knew what awaited you resembled a sleepless dream? Certainly you knew another part of you was fit for ascension. But then wouldn’t be the center of attention like you we’re on earth. You’d be around people who knew a light language and we’re just as smart as you, if not smarter. The applied principles of the sun was common knowledge there. That was like basic shit. Nobody was looking for preachers there. What they we’re looking for was way more advanced than your little yoga techniques. Stop hiding and tell us what’s really going on out here. Something tells me it has something to do with Satan, just not in the way you’re telling us. I have a feeling he holds the keys to a piece of knowledge we never even knew existed. If that’s the case, and I find out we’ve been duped, then I might just take it upon myself and offer you the same fate you offered my friend when he was down bad on that fateful Spring night mad at the world and pissed off at the hypocrisy you created for him.  But this time when I get to you I’ll make sure you won’t be down bad. There will be nothing to numb the pain. No. You’re gonna feel this. Then things will come full circle. Order. I like when things happen that way.

“Yo I need paint. “

“ Paint?”

 “I just remembered. For the walls.” I said in a descending volume.

We walked through the doors in the purgatory between store and street. I grabbed a cart.

“Is that what we’re gonna do for fun? Man I might regret this whole night if we end up hanging dry-wall and shit.”

“I hear you bro but we can play poker, I got a speaker so we can bump some music, and we’ll just kick it.”

Thomas strayed passed the check-out lines and almost ran into a stack of wood hanging from a guy’s trolley.

“Where are you going?” I said.

“Where’s the paint?” He said turning around.

We looked like we should be in the city rather than the hardware store. Everyone was looking and I know I’m not paranoid when I say that. We we’re foreigners visiting a small scale metropolis under construction. A place for bandits to face their acrophobia and not make it across to the next tower without getting grime on their gats ort hope they liked our style.

"They got krylons?" I said. The aisle opened up where the rafters stretched through the ceiling leaving ground level two by fours in their dust. If I focused I could hear an echo reverberate off my skull, taking its merry time and judging me before I could hold my breath. “We used to be so into this.”  Thomas said.

“I don’t know why we stopped.”  I said. He took it as a valid question.

“We got older I guess. Fuck.”

“Remember the overpass on Holcomb Bridge? I wonder if our shits still there.” 

“We need to go back there.”

Gum soles in an unfinished basement. This was the most people I’ve ever seen. a’ve ever seen. The fire marshall could’ve came knocking any moment. Though I don’t think anybody would hear him. Lil Pump was 3 doors down. To the fire marshall, is that everyone was moving as one. To the fire marshal, this could be a good or bad thing in the lens of a fire marshall. Good because if someone started popping shots off with an uzi or something and everyone tried to run out the house through the basement side-door, the main one through the hall at the back by the bathroom, or if they went up stairs and found the wrong door and had to jump off the balcony or something, if shit really started to pop off like this, of shit really hit the fan, then it’d be good to have 1 body instead of a hundred. There we’re straddlers of course, but all they’d have to do is hide in its belly folds and hope to not get lost while the body was hauling ass down the street resorting to the dreaded question, “Can I get a ride?” And simply put it’d be bad because human flesh burns quite well when laced with alcohol. That was a risk we were willing to take and that brought us that much closer together.

When I came in with Katie I noticed the crystalline qualities of blonde hair captivated the vibe and were on display in the trim lining. When you looked across it was like some secret edition of the yearbook where everyone didn’t have to pretend they liked each other.

Only this time there were no profiles, only shadows. And instead of signatures there were tattoos on skin that said things like “im too good for you” and “the sky is watching.”

 What collected at the corners were pushed outside to observe that ways a part equidistant to the cups on the table to the enthusiasm among them. This was inside. Everyone needed to make sense and not be meta. You couldn’t point out how we were all here by chance like Tommy did, “xxxxxxx” What an idiot. You couldn’t speculate as to why Rhea spent the whole month showing out for sympathy on twitter and crying at school over her breakup with Nick but is now falling on top of him, grabbing his arm and shit and Nick’s just going with it like he doesn’t care his best friend got sucked off by yours truly in front of everyone at last weeks party and he was there and she was there and it was all fine like nothing happened. “Well Nick got with Mercedes, and her and Rhea ignore each other now. It’s really awkward.” Despite the fakeness, there was an heir of trust unlike any ive ever seen here unlike back at school where we’d be leaning into our cheeks thinking about how to score more brownie points with the cliques we were in.

At least that’s what others were thinking about. The teacher’d be talking about solving for y for the millionth time, you know, moving things around by reverse operations to make sure they maintained the same relationship with one another. I never had to study because when it came time to test it’d be like the answers’d just come to me and I’d end up acing the damn thing. I became known as a smart person who didn’t care so everything canceled out and I was able to stay neutral and move between the punks to get drugs, the nerds to get power, and the popular kids to get access to parties like the one I was at now. I know this all sounds vain, but I guess that’s how it works when you’re a teenager still trying to find yourself when everyone else was doing the same but would rather die then admit it. Now that I look back I realize the whole thing was meaningless. There was no substance, no fulfillment. High School was mostly waiting with small pockets of being thrust into the limelight.   Just a series of empty promises leading nowhere. You could of met your better half completely in the midst of knowing each other at a soul level but all indications were that it wouldn’t last so you made excuses and broke it off before it was too late so that your future could be at least bearable when you we’re laying in your cheeks mad at the world wondering why you were the only thing you could think about. You could rest your heart on your decision. The sex flashbacks at the most random times like talking to your grandma or waiting in line at the grocery store didn’t matter anymore. You could put it all on that. Your decision. 

“Daniel, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Likewise Sharlene, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh how sweet of you to say that to me.”

“Wait, why are you guys being so formal?” Katie said like she overheard.

“We should stop.” Sharlene said. Daniel was taller than all of them.

“How was your day?” His eyes got bigger. Crazy.

“Did you have a good day?” Leaning forward with his back against the counter.

“I did have a good day.” Sharlene said. “Did you?” She put her hand up and when she realized this she snapped them across her face and into his. 

“Mr. Sassy?”

“Mr. Sassy!” Some dude in a hat with lettuce coming out said.

These we’re the types of exchanges that went on inside. Loud but cold. All in the vain of attention seeking like some sort of competition or test of brilliance. Only that this time unlike in normal society, where everyone’s trying to get their point across as clear and concise as possible because focus is king over style, this time brilliance was a stage of show. And whoever could hold onto it the longest was most certainly king or queen and surely the apple of their eye. Their being the cult that was the inside.

The 5 of us ended up by an air conditioning unit. We were staring at the moon thinking about what do next because we were already exhausted. Not because we weren’t faded enough. It was quite the opposite. There was too much judgment. And that was as bad of a high you could get when you were on the other end of it. We were over it. We were desperately passing a blunt I’d been eager to light since I rolled it in the car. 

“I needed this.” Jerry said.

“Yeah? Me too.” I looked at Katie. She’s the one I rolled it with earlier in the day when 4 different people we’re blowing up my phone asking if I was coming and telling me who I could bring or not.

“I don’t know it’s just like the vibe or something. Like something’s off.” Tom said.

Katie was mostly quiet and sipping the blunt with her cute little hands and was gravitating towards Miranda in a nonverbal display of boredom.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Jerry said.

“We really don’t.” I agreed.

“Talk about what?” I’m just saying.” Thomas said after a pause.

“Yeah I know but I’m not about to go behind their backs and gossip like we’re not fuckin’ with it thats cool we can do our own shit.”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Is there anything close?”

“You tryna go to waffle house?” 

Katie and Miranda laughed. First Katie snorted then Miranda bent over and held her knees.

“What are y’all tryna do?”

“Uhh can we just get out of here?” Katie said towards the street.

“Yeah. Let’s walk.” I said.

You left your memories with me.

So you could live without you.

You left your past in the dark, and

it was something you did for the hell of it because life

was too easy for you.

 "What's wrong?" I said.

"Leave with me." You said.

"Is something bothering you?" I said.

"No." You were always in the dark.

"Where?"

"I don't know. Anywhere but here."

"I can't tell if you're being serious." You threw a rock

down the train tracks, and pointed where I was looking.

"That way's North to Chattanooga." You turned around.

I leaned to the side as if I was peeking down a narrow

hallway.

 "South to Miami. Hmm. It depends." You said rubbing your chin.

"It depends on you finding a girlfriend so you can get back to reality is what it depends on." I said.

I dont think a single car

drove by since we got here. Moving trucks could be seen on the overpass where the crossing signals were, but were inaudible. The only thing audible was the large-scale kithen across the street which would hiss occasionally over its constant hum. It also had steam coming out of it. We walked towards the red-light on stones half the size of our trainers and went to balancing on the rail half to avoid twisting our ankles and half to ammuse ourselves.

"I was gonna say it depends on what's better, a good ol' country bitch who'll cook you catfish till you cant eat no more, or a bad spanish mommy who may or may not be there for you when you really need it."

 "Oh, si senorita Hot like tamales. Muy bueno.

Como te amos rapido rapido mucho Miami me gusto."

"Bro we're hopping trains not borders

you fucking wetback."

"Whoa, hold up ese, you're hopping trains, not me.

Besides, we'll be hopping on a lot more than trains

if we keep this up." I said.

"Trains not borders, puto."

"Man watch your mouth."

"Here comes one now."

ijijiijjiiji

We hid in the bushes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Me fist then the girls and Jerry while Thomas was last in..

"We should of put a coin on their,:

*End graveyard party and go into chapter about family* BONES laden arrows

----

Just say its the spot and I’m there.

“Jerry just texted me.” I said to Thomas.

“What’d he say?”

“He’s bringing Erica.”

“Why was it even a question?” Thomas said. He was flipping his head back and forth at me. Zig-zagging from hinges to nails to glue guns and floor tiles, biding his time, sulking like i was gonna feel sorry for him.

“I don’t know man. I’m sure it had something to do with his roommates not being out.” I said. 

“Well if his initial reaction was him being scared then what that tell you about what he think of us?”

“Nah. You’re thinking too far into it. He’s tryna get her to let him hit.”

So much was out of context. There was disharmony. I continued.

“Maybe there’s something about two dudes without girlfriends that isn’t exactly the most potent

“

Smoke stacks comply and hesitate partaking in sport. Indulging in an aptitude that continues to see how it feels when you say such simple words as “hello, and, thats cool.” That continues to touch a nonverbal membrane when you move in such a way that broke the color barrier between black and white. So I’ll appreciate you like all the others do. Because I, completely and utterly, should know to carry you with me into infinity. And I should know, for a fact, that distance is dependant on its terminal velocity at the moment of impact. Gorgeous you are when tulips gather around cow pastures only to wither away upon the changing of the guard. Tip toes, necromancy, ice skates, all these make sense to me now, that ever since the day of my christening, good beings struck witherto my intelligence and rendered them useless. These knots, the qualities of which we’re twisted, utterly finagled to a degree that crystallized under pressure. I feel like I was born so I could come into people’s live when they needed someone to blame their problems on. That’s why I always get those stupid looks. Sometimes I just wanna ask them like “what the fuck are you on?” I guess all those diamonds couldnt teleport you out of here huh? Too bad. I ain’t judgin’. 

knotted in purpose. 

Oh how I looked on in brevity the callus threads that stretched for miles upon miles into causeways of blindness which overtook me in haste. Very painstaken I was in the trials before then. But now I see the reason for them. For nothing could have felt better than to be relieved of all that built up stress which churned and churned until a mechanism of ventricles let go in common translation. Like ruminating gats and dust swipers caged so discreetly so as to fixate on unto sizzling barge-heads. Almost as if silly esquires of desperately manifold doldrums exist solely to highlight the difference of deceit and merry.  the difference of you, a you, and I, an I.

“Man I need blankets.” Thomas said.

“Pillows too.” I said tracing the outer perimeter of Home Depot. 

Them Carharrts nice too. Our eyes met at the rack.

“I bet you could fit a gun inside this.” Thomas said feeling the durability of a canvas hoodie in brown. 

“No I don’t have a gun.”

“You should get one.”

“They got em here?”

We fell out of the portal. 

____________

Vicious bar flies and scarcities falsify the other-half.

“It is settled” said Chief Wallitzer

“Then buy more plankton from the Chief” A creature said. Decrepit. Monsteral. Lectivicious. The creature continued.

 “And as soon as I stray a lochness is when the fortifications manifest wholly and without contempt.” I must ignore him.

“What am I to do?” I said on the levy. 

“Take a boat from the garter over thine gully there.” Said the Chief. 

And I summoned a boat from his power.

“I’m crossing.” I said under my breathe. I said aloud. 

“Bless you Chief! Aye. May good fortune amass in your possession!” Because realization finally hit me, that I was to join my comrades in battle, once and for all.

“Aye, and to not flee as well.” This was the last I ever heard of the Chief. 

--------

Today I’m going to buy a car.

Anxiety is a MK Ultra Mind Control Tactic (designed to keep humans subordinate to the matrix) ((which is ran by the 10%))

(((who answer to archonic entities from the 4th dimension)))

Logical reasoning is when an internal problem is identified as separate from the self so that it may not be subject to the whims of ego, which is fleeting and irregular, and stems from an evolutionary need for man to keep desiring more and more mates to reproduce offspring with so that his tribe grows strong in number as opposed to getting complacent with having one or few mates, retiring from the world, and letting him and/or his offspring die without a big enough tribe to defend them from bigger tribes with more man-power. Humans have advanced beyond the need to reproduce. In fact, Over-population is an existential threat to the continuation of humans on Earth. Because of this there should be no desire to reproduce. However, there is still a desire to reproduce. This is because the consequences of over-population like famine, disease, and global warming have yet to be internalized by most humans. Once it does, there will be no desire to reproduce, and all remaining sub-strata will go too. These remaining sub-strata include love, greed, and status all begotten from the main desire of humans, which is to reproduce. The reason that is 

The main desire of humans is that humans want to survive. If humans didn’t want to survive they’d be dead. If humans we’re dead they wouldn’t be living. And if humans weren’t living they wouldn’t exist. Additionally, If humans didn’t exist they’d be nothing. And If humans were nothing they wouldn’t be something. Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards the very notion of being something 

with the very notion of that word and all the associations it comes with, 

 Finally, if humans wouldn’t be something, as in, they we’re in a state of denial towards being something, 

knowing full-well  the associations it comes with, then humans would be refusing their ego, which is fleeting and irregular.

Once this desire (to reproduce) is gone, then allser forms of this desire like 

and not get his needs are met

 be processed in an objective manner, and not subject to whims of ego

solutions can be formulated in an objective context, and the solutions necessary to overcoming that problem, may not be weighed against emotion, which is fleeting and irregular.

 and it’s existential

consequences, both good and bad, can be weighed objectively against 

solutions that are based in reality

The distinction between needs and desires is a matter of time. Needs are immediate. Desires are built up over time.

The distinction between needs and desires is, in fact, only a matter of time

Anxiety needs to be alleviated when there’s not enough time, but it should anxiety will be alleviated because their is time.  . 

^^^^^^^^^cap*********

*********************

Anxiety is when an internal problem needs to be alleviated. Its just that the actions required to alleviate said problem seem far off and distant. So much that you begin doubting your abilities as a measly human and turn to a god instead. When this god doesnt fix your problems your anxiety is compounded heavily. Because you have one more problem than you started with. If you couldnt hold a candle to your first problem, being as their solutions were so far out and demanded too much in a short amount of time, then now you got a doozy on your hands. All we can ask for is perfection, and hope we come up short.

********************

************

//All God can ask for is perfection. That’s why he doesn’t relate to us.// If you had a bag that led to another bag you wouldn’t keep the first bag cus it’d already be in the second one. These are the ancestors working behind the scenes.

then what makes you think

Our teachers taught us proper sentence structure in the third grade. A subject followed by a predicate. The subject is invoked and the predicate carries the burden like a hag witch carries  it and thus justifying the subject so that it is not floating in space, susceptible to being bothered by minds whose job it is to question things that float in space for no other reason other than to not have a purpose, and stand as a monument against all these grammar nazis stand for. So viciously chaotic, free in its lightness, completely unencumbered by menial contrivances of formality, it seems, are these subjects without predicates stand unapologetically in the vast concourses of space as monuments against all they stand for. The problem is that words can only do so much when describing a subject. Whether it is a noun or pronoun, abstract or not, a person, place, thing, or idea, it could even be an interjection, the problem is words can only do so much for describing the essence of a thing, the unseen force which discerns certain vibrations as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency at which the brain can perceive.

certain things as unalike from one another and neatly packages them into a frequency that vibrates at a rate at which the human brain can process through its hypothalamus and perceive them as things in the 3rd dimension.

apart from the rest is limitless when not bound by words, which can only be deduced as a lesser form of magic.

Thomas and I see the same things. Ever since our childhoods we were never separated. And even if we we’re, or it appeared as if we we’re, we always had the same eyes. Not just the same view, but the same eyes. I don’t mean that these eyes were like detachable lenses, that could be passed around to and fro like a can on a string, I mean that we’ve had the same experiences, just in different forms.  And if we ever shared a difference of opinion, which happened a lot, like with this Erica thing, I never had to worry about things getting heated. Because no matter what, I could always fall back on us letting things calm down for a while, alone in our rooms leaning into our cheeks trying not to think about it. until both of us realized we were coming.from the same place, and that where, and to what degree we took it to, was ultimately meaningless.

I must be going now. It’s getting late. What time is it? 2:30? Jesus. Fuck. That’s later than I thought. Already? Oh well. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Anyway. What I wanna talk about is how fucked up you look to me, and I don’t know if you see that. I mean, if you can see what I see. Dread, angst, all of mine and your miseries seem to have burdened you. I want you to know that I’m here. I’m a man. I can fix my own problems. Really. I can. I may not look it but I’m grown. You don’t have to worry about them. Here, look at this picture I took last year. It’s of you and me. Don’t we look so happy? Happy. Is that the right word? Or maybe we’re crumbing for our last breathe of smile in us. Fuck. I’m beginning to think that’s true the more and more I think about it. Because you we’re never happy. Neither was I. But that wasn’t the goal for us like it is for so many others. No. We just wanted to get by. And that’s all we could ever ask for.

--jgcjgcjgcjgcgjc

I wanted to keep this sacred so it’d come across a more genuine when the right person came across it. but now the urge is too strong and the resonance too concentrated for me to dismiss the trailblazing force of circular momentum. And its nice out too. The grass is still damp from yesterday’s rain but not so you couldn’t lie in it. That’s what I did today. That along with thinking. Moving on. I won’t talk about personal experience in this article. The truth is I’m not important. What matters is my guidance. So from now on take my “I’s” as placeholders for something greater. Make it what you want. A parakeet, a landing pad, veganism, law and order, anything. It could even be the universe itself with you and me included. Whatever it is just don’t miss the point that follows this inconspicuous “i” because there is no truth, only different paths to getting there. 

The truth is I haven’t been out the house in a few years. Sure there were gaps in between like parties here and there. But even then I was inside myself, leaving people to wonder if I was as social as I looked. Sometimes I was normal, others I was a wallflower. Only rarely did I meet their expectations and become the center of attention. I still remember those moments because I’m preparing for the next time it happens so I can maintain a sense of self better so that I can let it go and channel what comes out of me more freely. Some call this going into the world. I call it getting out the house. Leaving the nest. All those times i was still at home within myself. I never left my shell. There’s no point when that shell is filled with angels.

Language can be tricky. It can be used for yin and yang. It can be used for contuation or stagnation when concerning the path of self and how one wants to judge said self through language so that it may have something ethereal to manifest from. Before I continue I must say that there is a self because any indication of there not being a self relies on the suppusition there there is a self. Perception plays a role too, as in, agreeing or not to accept the definitions of the words you lay on yourself as true or not. The pessimist sees the world as signs and symbols and interprets stimuli af a higher level then the optimist, who is often naieve to the hidden world where everything comes from. This is why pessimists are often dualists. To the optimist it appears they are one-sided because they take them at face-value. Again, they are unable to see the hidden world where everything comes from. Those who fly under the radar appear that way because they are in direct contact with this world so as to filter their thoughts before speaking them. This world is a place pessimists visit often within themselves and rarely show out of. They show out only in dire situations, and that makes their actions that much stronger because they have kept sacred the hidden world where everything comes from so that it is pure and cutting-edge when it comes time to release it upon the known world. Like an endless stream does their wrath come out of them because they’ve been holding it in so long. 

Anytime you insert the I into a situation is when a princible of measurement can be applied to you as infinite potential to fail or succeed relative to the third party as the perfect amount of what you needed to be faced with. 

with chakra wheels that exist so we can find ourselves in a better light.