#how does yoUR LIPS
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deliriousblue · 3 months ago
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THE HEART KILLERS (2024) + tropes prior art by @hurlumerlu
+ bonus:
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teddybeartoji · 8 months ago
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toji is so dad sometimes it's so hot
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xxplastic-cubexx · 6 months ago
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maybe controversial take, but i like to think of erik being mostly a huge ladies’ man (look at all the bitches he gets canonically, he can’t NOT love the ladies) but charles is just...... this HUGE exception, lmfao. for a while he was totally oblivious to the fact that he was into charles like that but then one day it smacked him HARD across the face that their Very Special Friendship is actually romantic. he’s since embraced being a bisexual disaster but before charles he had no clue.
would be even funnier if erik and charles had already fooled around a couple times before erik actually realized he was attracted to him. who among us hasn’t fucked their completely platonic bro??
it cant be a controversial take if youre onto something my friend .....
#snap chats#now some might say that a beautiful woman and charles xavier are not that different. are they right? who's to say really.#erik spedning time with charles and getting that gross feeling in his chest known as love and just thinking#'ah yeah no this is simply because charles is an esteemed colleague of mine whom i respect immensely'#completely ignoring the homosexual ideas he has in the back of his mind he is forcibly ignoring those. Charles Is His Friend. His Ally.#but does erik want him to be more ........ dare he think it .... nay ......... he is being foolish ....#it is only because charles was the first mutant he knew .. that is why he feels so special about him... surely no other reason ...#surely not because his Intelligent-If-Not-Frustratingly-Idealistic friend is incredibly handsome with beautiful lips and gorgeous eyes no..#lowkey is canon tho .... like it is gen so funny how often these two will say Very Flowery Shit about each other#like guys thats ..... hm ..... far beyond anything id say about my friend really !!!!!! maybe im just an asshole tho idk !!!!#im still not over that bit where charles was like 'yeah erik and i spend hours if not days on the phone. our wives are very confused'#girl your wives are confused cause theyre still yalls wives they are going to divorce yall so you two can get together instead 😭😭#in any case ... always a big fan of What Are We hcs ... shit makes me laugh forever ...#wdym yall basically raise a mansion of kids and talk about being each others everythings and youre still like 'we're just friends right'#my guy can be eight inches in his best friend and still be like 'surely this what all friends do'. ridiculous. i love them.
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pumpkinrootbeer · 1 year ago
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i feel like we kinda miss the whole. catalyst for fiona and lips relationship exploding.
here's your older sister, and here's the only person you've ever been able to trust. she tells you to get out again and again and again, even though you're so afraid that the moment you turn around everything is going to fall apart. getting out, and then getting the rest of them out, is your job. that's what your supposed to do.
neither of you have been able to trust your parents and all you have is each other, and she's telling you to get out. and it's either doom everyone around you by staying, or trust her and leave.
and then, right as you're finally starting to find the rhythm of a world you've beed denied access to your whole life, it's because of her, the only person you've ever been able to trust in you entire existence, because of you leaving and trusting, that your five year old brother almost dies. he's comatose. he's covered in tubes. he might never be the same again. the only person you've ever trusted has done the exact same thing your parents did. Put drugs and alcohol and letting loose above the kids their supposed to take care of.
Is it any wonder Lip stops trusting her. That Lip takes the longest to forgive her. "it wasn't her coke she didn't leave it out" she got high around a toddler and left him near the cocaine. left the cocaine where he could get it. the two other adults picked him up and danced with him with coke on the table. Lip walks in on this after spending an entire day trying to rescue their other brother. His little sister is the one who finds their baby brother.
even discounting that in response to this he has to suddenly start stealing food or else all the kids in the house will starve, or that Fiona suddenly jackrabbits into another person he has to care for instead of someone he can trust, or that he now has to care for a 4 year old, while working a job, and being a full time college student on work study, discounting all of that of course Lip looses faith in his sister. Of course he does.
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penderbend · 9 months ago
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i have been thinking about malevolent 46 all day theres something about it that just. fucking. works so well. it’s so perfectly eerie and frightening with such great moments of arthur and john reacting so wrong to whats happening. that specific moment in the fairy ring really just latched into my brain it was so wonderfully and whimsically terrifying. the loss of control and arthur’s reaction is so fascinating to me
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bambilovesribbons · 3 months ago
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you're so yummy bambi, would she like to feel 32 year old dick in her throat?
ofcc i 🩷 sucking dick
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faaun · 3 months ago
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said goodbye to him feeling weird!
#hes abt to go skiing w his friend im abt to go back to the uk to an ordinary life#he is perfect and I've felt appreciated none of the time and i think it's not his fault idk#not how racemic compounds work not how amphetamines work not how people work#french suits his mouth but german does a bit more i think . climbed to a very beautiful place#asked him to be my boyfriend then almost took it back yesterday. chemistry is not his strong suit#he carries things for me he catwalks he gives me his jumper when im cold he's good at kissing#he got me a beautiful necklace on a riverside in amsterdam he lights my cigarette with his#he holds my hand and his only complaint about me putting lipstick on his lips is that it wasn't evenly spread#his eyelashes are long and he's sharp and scarily productive and very good at navigation#always on time always the right place . i make a comment about being a beautiful collective and he says yes but it's odd that we havent#received the social benefits of it. what you mean? well when im alone or with friends people just...give me things. flowers baked goods#compliments a pack of cigarettes he says. he asks me if I've ever had to pay for a pack. i felt genuinely SO UGLY like am i. downgrading u?#ppl see me next to you and..what you get negative attractive points? gosh.#unfortunately shutting the fuck up is not my strong suit so i never let that go. he says nooo it's just you are So Gorgeous that you scare#people away. OK!!! he knows he's pretty and he uses this to his full advantage#you're cool and you're friends with all the club bouncers and you take such good care of me and you know#the state secrets and we can scheme murders together and i love that you love your friends#but when i joked we wont get to see each other in months and you said 'so?' that rly did smth very upsetting!!!!#twisting and backtracking is his strong suit but unfortunately seeing it happen is mine#and sometimes it's endearing and sometimes i want to kill him about it. he would be a very good diplomat#who the fuck stumbles gracefully on cliffs? anyway his voice is gentle and he says i don't want you upset#he holds my hands he says lets talk about it please i want you to know i appreciate you#he says all the correct things i believe 0 things out of his mouth and he can tell#i am snappy and terrible and calm. i tell him he's sweet and i want more i want to be missed#SHUTTING THE FUCK UP IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT! would you be ok being just friends? eventually.#and the next day ive decided what to do with you. what is that? you can still be my boyfriend. he says thank you.#walking is our strong suit so we go everywhere. i tell him about my best friend his head looks great thrown backwards#im afraid this is too good for me and I'm also afraid it's not enough. not asking questions is not my strong suit.
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lesbianraskolnikov · 3 months ago
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In 2007 Rodya's actor always pulls this sort of face when someone is either discussing the murder or his innocence lol
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guard dog!suguru the man that you are
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spacerockwriting · 2 years ago
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Galladrabbles: Haircut
Thank you @galladrabbles and @deathclassic for this week's prompt! Have some pre-canon babies.
Haircut
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Mickey sighs, annoyed. He has to buy this stupid English paper from that Gallagher kid. Meeting out behind the school, he notices the boy with the cocky smirk and another smaller kid nearby. The smaller kid is quiet, with red hair and doey eyes. His hair is boxy looking in the back, an obvious tell-tale sign of a bad at home haircut.
“Didn’t he have curly hair?”
“Discovered our sister’s straightner. You wanna chat about my brother’s haircut, or get your paper?”
Mickey hands over the twenty, then a five. “Tell Red those beauty school bitches only charge five bucks.”
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crowned-peony · 24 days ago
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He covers his love letters to you in lipstick tip prints
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cartoonghosts · 16 days ago
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Im so obsessed with people. Like im so in love with everyone what the hell
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e-adlirez · 1 year ago
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Treasure Seekers 2 go brrrrr
So this sequel... exists :D
Welcome to the second entry in the Treasure Seekers trilogy that I'm gonna ramble about for the next six hours (in me time, in you time it's probably gonna be like thirty minutes or less), if you wanna read it yourself before reading this ramble, here's an Archive copy. Otherwise, enjoy the ride :D
So our story begins with the Thea Sisters locked in a basement in the dark, with Russia's penchant for matches (and the basement's lack of a smoke alarm) coming in clutch. Seems like another vacation's gone awry for them :3 How could it have possibly turned out this way?
Flashback: so the girls are vibing in Moscow, visiting all the cool sights and all that, Pam is wanting to try some Russian cuisine, when they spot this girl that's wearing what appears to be a barrette that used to belong to Aurora's sister Hannah Lane. They follow her a bit, find a THUG JUMPSCARE, follow the girl, Cassidy and co into the building they're heading into, and oh dear door with passcode is in the way. They find this dood Sergei, explain to him the situation, deal with him being like "who is u, and wth are you on about mate" until they hear a scream and oh dear turns out that girl with the barrette is Sergei's sister Irina and she's in trouble.
Sergei opens the door, they go in, walk in on Cassidy, Stan and Max (who I will from now call SM for simplicity) doing their whole thug jumpscare thing and kidnapping Irina in 4K. SM somehow rolls a high enough strength roll (or the girls roll a low enough initiative) that two roughly intimidating guys successfully trap six people into a basement without breaking a sweat get yourself some self-defense classes girls oml, and that's the end of that.
Luke's up to his shenanigans again, and it seems that he's targeted Irina Lenenko for the same reason the girls double-taked at the sight of her barrette: Irina (and Sergei in conjunction) is a descendant of Hannah Lane, and Hannah Lane may or may not have known a thing or two about one of the seven treasures. It's such a shame tho that Irina doesn't wanna spill any of the tea. What's this about a "queen's jewel"?
Oh also Luke has Aurora's third diary. I would like you to pay attention to this detail in particular. Oh and he's keeping Irina ratgrabbed until she tells them what he wants to know from her. Oh naur
Meanwhile the girls infodump all of the TS 1 LANE LOORRREEEE to Sergei in one whole sitting and finally manage to get around to "what the hell does this have to do with my sister". Sergei thinks it's not really possible for Irina to know anything about great-grandma Hannah's involvement with Aurora, but Irina's still in trouble soooo time to solve this nerdy-ass science trivia keypad puzzle to get outa the basement. Irina's nowhere to be found in the lab itself, so they regroup at Sergei's place to use his phone tracker app on his computer.
Bad news, SM dumped Irina's phone somewhere in the lab so the tracker app is useless; good news, while looking for some Lane Lore™ to get some context about the situation, the girls find some Lane Lore™ :D
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Turns out Aurora was looking for one of the seven treasures again, y'know just updating her sister on that, who'd moved to Saint Petersburg with her husband Ivan.
Seems like Aurora's quest at the time involved "the queen's jewel", which Aurora said she was 1000% down to ramble about to Hannah, maybe when she's done finding all seven treasures and hiding them from Jan.
I would like to take this moment to remind you that Aurora is a British Amelia Earhart, and if you dunno what that means, look up what Earhart was famous for and then look at this with that given context :']
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With that lead, the girls plus Sergei take a ride on presumably the Krasnaya Strela night train to Saint Petersburg, read some Lane Lore on the way, Peter-Griffin upon realizing that they spent the whole night reading AO3 fanfics Aurora's diaries and it's like 2AM now, land in Saint Petersburg, stop by Nevsky Prospekt Street to have some breakfast (I think they went to Venezia?), and discussion.
(For the rest of this review, please assume when I say "the girls", I'm including Sergei because Sergei tags along with them and helps them out in their entire journey. It's okay, Sergei may be biologically male but he is an honorary female in our hearts /j)
Aurora mentioned the queen's jewel in her diary, and when you're in Russia, the first queen that comes to mind is Catherine II, so maybe something relating to her? Some Lane Lore of Aurora taking interest in Catherine II's Amber Room in her palace specifically confirms their theories, sooooooooo it's time to go to the Amber Room to see if Aurora left any clu--
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The girls are about to walk out of the Catherine Palace to Peter Griffin in private when SM JUMPSCARE--
So SM is stalkin' around the Catherine Palace looking for something, so the girls stalk them back and follow them out of the palace, into a car (the girls called a separate taxi to follow them), and to a little gray building in the outskirts of the city. They don't follow SM into the building because it might be dangerous, but Irina's scarf lying around near the premises confirms that Irina was in fact there and possibly being held hostage in the building.
The girls do a little tactic I like to call "the Ding Dong Ditch": Pam and Nicky knock on the door, SM answers it, do a little Metal Gear exclamation point "HOW DID YOU GET HERE", Nicky and Pam book it so SM chases them, and that's literally how the other girls plus Sergei sneak into the building to get Irina out. (You dunno how badly I wanted to make a videogame reference for this but I couldn't find anything so here we are--)
With that, the girls plus the Lenenko siblings book it outa there without SM being none the wiser (seriously it doesn't even cross their mind that there are more than two Thea Sisters, that's how dum they are). Irina books a hotel room at a friend's place and gives them some extra Lane Lore that she never told Klawitz despite the interrogations:
Hannah Lane was once visited by Aurora unexpectedly, a little after Hannah and her husband moved to a house near the Ob River, in Siberia. Possible lead :3c? The girls think maybe, so they decide to head on over to the exact address in Novosibirsk, Siberia.
In Siberia, the girls cross the frozen Ob River in Novosibirsk to this abandoned little house, where they find this little note with a riddle that talks about Cleopatra and an emerald she had at one point, and CASSIDY JUMPSCARE--
Cassidy busts in, snatches the note and books it away on her snowmobile before the girls can even react. You may be wondering, how the hell did Cassidy get there and know where they were? The answer is the same as the reason behind the SM jumpscares in Russia and in book 1, and that is Luke.
Luke Von Klawitz is doing a little segment that I like to call: Luke Touch Grass, where it becomes increasingly clear that Luke's spent way too much time on 4Chan (/j but you'll see what I mean). Luke hears about SM's failure and facepalms. Then he calls his friend Petrovski, who has access to the database of all of Russia's airports, for help tracking down "six mice leaving Saint Petersburg". Petrovski gives him results in minutes: the girls and Sergei are leaving Saint Petersburg and heading for Novosibirsk, Siberia (most likely Tolmachevo Airport). With that intel, Klawitz looks into his own database of Aurora Beatrix Lane, finds a picture of Hannah and Aurora together, and uses his own version of Google Lens to figure out the exact coordinates where the picture was taken, which happens to be in Novosibirsk, Siberia.
No this man does not in fact canonically touch grass on the regular, who's asking
Anyway so he sent Cassidy the coords, instructions and Aurora's diary to go, and that's how Cassidy walked in on the girls in that little abandoned hut next to Ob River. Only thing is uh, she dropped her purse on the way out. A purse that just so happened to contain Aurora's diary that Luke gave her.
So the girls scoop that puppy up and assume that the treasure is Cleopatra's emerald, thus they think it's in Egypt.
So the girls go to Egypt :D (29 and a half hour flight there good god no wonder they conked out in the plane--)
The girls read some Lane Lore, something about Aurora finding the treasure and hiding it somewhere in a desert, in an "expanse pure and white" that a star compass will lead to. First thing the girls think of at the desert bit is the White Desert (Sahara el Beyda), specifically a spot near Cleopatra's pool, so they leave the airport (not realizing Cassidy is following them now) and head over to a market to buy some supplies because might I remind you, they initially went to Moscow, Russia for vacation.
While in the market, Pam meets a guy named Omar. Pam tells him a little bit about them going to Cleopatra's pool in Sahara el Beyda, and she finds out that Omar just so happens to be an Archaeology major in Oxford University who's here on his summer vacation and works as a guide for Sahara el Beyda, and is more than down to give the girls a tour. Talk about lucky :D
The next day the girls take the scenic route and after a while make it to Siwa, where Omar books a room in a hotel for them, and the girls find this interesting myth there about Cleopatra that I will summarize here:
Cleopatra was once given a jewel that maxes out the owner's rizz and the effect is supposedly indefinite. Cleopatra liked the jewel so much that she wore it on her crown at all times... until she grew a bit self-conscious about the gem's maxxed rizz effect and how everyone kept eyeing the emerald a second too long for comfort, so she decided to hide away said rizz in a spot where none of her rivals could get to it. Oh and uh Cleopatra wrote up a dedication to Ra that's hella cryptic too.
One long rest later, the girls go to Cleopatra's pool on a donkey cart. Yes, a donkey cart. It was Omar's idea. Speaking of Omar, prepare yourself buddy because the girls have dubiously decided to give you some Lane Lore to chew on. O-oh you like it a lot. A lot a lot. Well okay cool, maybe you can help out, cool.
The girls manage to figure out the riddle in Cleopatra's dedication, find a little stone coffer that has the queen's treasure and-- SM JUMPSCARE
With a donkey as the girls' only escape method and Omar having suddenly disappeared, a scuffle ensues where the girls play hot potato with the box until SM gets their hands on it and opens it, and here we get a very accurate depiction of what SM and the girls found in the box once it was actually opened.
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Description: a hand made of salt shaped in an upside-down "ok" symbol, circa 1920s-30s.
The sheer whiplash of this leaves both sides of the conflict losing enough HP that they're all on red-- SM is blaming the girls for this (how dare >:[) and dip. Omar is gone, and all the girls get as compensation is the empty box and a letter from Aurora telling them that they'll know to read the hidden clues. The girls head back feeling very hollow and dead inside, and this is the one time one of the girls questions how the hell did SM know they were at Siwa. I mean they never get any answer to this (kinda), but it is a milestone! They're aware of it now!
Once they get back to Cairo, they ask around and find that Omar's completely up and vanished, and they decide they'll just head back to Moscow since their investigation has come to a dead end. On the way, Pam comments about the falafel she bought being hella salty, which leads Violet to an epiphany that hey, the Sahara isn't the only desert that exists, let alone the only desert known for how white it is (like how Boracay Beach is known for how white and fine its sand is, but it's not the only white sand beach that exists). A quick Google search (and a long flight (35 HOURS CAIRO TO SUCRE???)) leads them to the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia.
Nicky reserves a room for them at Hotel Luna Salada (a real place you can book a stay at actually :D), and they make a friend by the name of Adriana, a local waitress in the hotel restaurant. Adriana helps them pick out a dessert, fills them in on some stuff about the Salar since the girls came here 100% out of impulse, and talks about possible itinerary locations to go to, like the Isla de Pescado, Tiwanaku (the "Gate of the Sun"), Lake Titiaca, and Laguna Colorada. Y'know, typical tourist stuff, and Adriana was so kind to show them pictures she took when she visited said places herself! :D
Anyway so while the girls long rest, Luke is mulling about in his base waiting for updates. Someone calls him about the whole Egypt thing, and Luke calls the girls incompetent? Rude, oh and something about the caller being Luke's "secret weapon". Cassidy calls him on a theory she has about the gemstone being in Cleopatra's palace, and since the girls are currently long-resting (which means they aren't doing anything), Luke figures that a little diving trip in Alexandria to search for the gem with Cassidy won't hurt. Besides, he still has his secret weapon.
Oh yeah and he knows the girls are long resting because he has a drone in Bolivia spying on them and showing him their every move. Touch grass, Luke. No, going on a diving trip in Alexandria doesn't count, there's barely any grass there /j
Morning comes in Bolivia, and the girls head out early to search the Salar as much as they can. They look around the flat white desert, eat some late breakfast, toy around with forced perspective camera shenanigans for a bit, and read up on some LANE LOOORREEEEE
So Aurora's been to Pumapunku and Tiwanaku which is cool, she paid a visit to the archaeological site probably and that's really cool. She says something about hiding the queen's treasure in a fish's stomach covered in very fine thorns. Sergei ends up having an epiphany, and that leads the girls to Isla de Pescado, which just so happens to be "Fish Island" in Spanish, and has cacti on it, it's all coming together :D
Oh and the fish drawing Aurora made is coords to the treasure seemingly so that's cool-- OMAR JUMPSCARE
The girls are very surprised to find Omar joining them, and Omar explains that he booked it when SM came over and lost his cellphone as a result. However, he managed to figure out that Aurora's riddle was about salt and not sand, and decided to head on over to Bolivia since he assumed that's where the girls are going. How did he find them? It was just out of pure coincidence, and also the fact that the girls are extremely recognizable. Hm.
Anyway, Paulina plugs the coordinates into her GPS and leads the girls plus Omar to a little cave at the bottom of a little embankment. The girls find that, lo and behold, there's an old tin box containing a bright green emerald!
Meanwhile Luke is not finding anything in Alexandria haha L, LVK L get dunked on Luke, Cassidy girlie that's not a man to simp for find someone else gurl-- oh dear Luke is alerted that the treasure has been found and now he's planning on heading over to Bolivia? Now how could he possibly know that?
In the meantime, I dunno what's up in the air or if it's the Archaeology major speaking in him but Omar's really invested in this treasure, even more so than the girls to the degree that the girls are a little freaked out by it-- RHEA JUMPSCARE-- Paulina calms the big bord down and gets it to not trample Omar please, he's still a friend of theirs. Colette picks up this blue notebook Omar seems to have dropped.
The girls plus Omar head back to the SUVs, and Omar is really trying to persuade the girls that he should bring it back to Cairo. The girls are not jazzed at the idea because Omar bringing it back alone will be too unsafe, y'know with Luke and Cassidy and SM and all. They gotta think about this rationally-- WHOA OKAY OMAR calm your man tits buddy why are you demanding they trust you like you automatically deserve your trust-- ohh that's how Klawitz has known about the girls' whereabouts, Omar was working as a double agent.
So yeah Omar snatches the box from Colette and drives off in his SUV, leaving the girls in the dust. The girls freak out and are feeling that EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, but Colette for some reason is very calm about Omar booking it with the emerald. And that's because SHE HAS IT :D she did a lil' switcheroo so now the emerald's with her while the box is with Omar.
For context about how Colette knew about this, remember the blue notebook Omar dropped? Yeah that notebook was a company LVK notebook, straight from Luke himself. Then after Colette saw it, everything about Omar became incredibly sus, so she performed this precautionary measure.
So now the girls talk to the local authorities about how the whole thing with the emerald is gonna go down, and soon the girls are waiting for a plane back to Moscow.
As for Omar, well, he goes over to Luke's super-fancy hotel in La Paz, Bolivia, and he hands the box to Luke, explicitly stating that he decided he'd let Luke open it before he himself can appreciate it.
Luke opens the box, and here we see an accurate depiction of what Luke sees.
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Description: an upside-down "ok" symbol drawn in strawberry pink lip balm, signed Colette [insert last name], circa 2018.
Luke punts the box (prolly with the lip balm still inside it) into the swimming pool, tells Omar to get out, and that's the end of that. Haha Omar L Luke L
The girls head back to Moscow to drop Sergei off when SURPRISE PARTY BY IRINA'S SQUAD :DDD
Then the girls are about to return to Whale Island to presumably Peter Griffin in their dorms, when Colette suggests they make a journal a la Aurora Beatrix Lane, and they do. In a pink notebook because it was Colette's idea so we might as well give her that
And they take a black-and-white group picture of them wearing adventurer clothes like Aurora would've done. The brainrot is real, these girls are mentally ill /j
And that's the book :D
... Honestly it's the most meh out of the trilogy besides the big-brain bits in the middle and the end imo
The writing was so much more stilted in this one, even for Scholastic standards, and everything feels pretty..... kid's book. Even more so than the usual in the book's English translations. I do readings for the books in some of my Discords, and this book did not read well at aaallll. And I haven't even mentioned the typos in the book (they're not a lot, but they exist, and they're kinda egregious :D) and some grammar errors if I'm remembering things correctly. It might just be a translation thing-- I worry a bit for the translator who had to put this together.
Luke's character here is also kinda wonk? For one we see him directly contradict his anti-friendship spiel in TS 1 since he literally greets Petrovski like a friend (maybe it's a "friendship doesn't exist except in 4Chan" thing, I dunno). Then in the middle of the book, he gets... very Disney villain-y. The most egregious example here is the chapter "Lurking in the Shadows", where as you can see
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I am confusion?? Luke has been described as a to-the-point brat who hardly cares for the means to his end (unless it will impact his ability to achieve the end) and is so fixated on his goal that he doesn't touch grass. Is this not-touching-grass behavior? Yeah, definitely, but this??? This is too Disney villain???? Why does the man break into an evil cackle in front of Cassidy???? I understood it in book 1 because man thinks he's doing a "You may think you have outsmarted me but I have OUTSMARTED YOUR OUTSMARTING", but this one?? Maybe it's my personal taste, but it's too cartoonish and too... deviated from what we know of him up to this point.
ALSO TWIRLING HIS MUSTACHE? WHAT MUSTACHE IS HE TWIRLING THAT THING IS NOT TWIRL-ABLE
Also time to address the one big plot hole in this book: Aurora's diary.
So in this book there's only one diary, which is infinitely simpler than the two we got in the first book. This diary supposedly contains Aurora's records of her mission in hiding Cleopatra's Rizzmerald, and the details are supposedly vague enough that Luke felt the need to kidnap and interrogate Irina, a Hannah Lane descendant, to fill in the blanks. However, when you look at the contents of the diary itself (which lord knows how many times Luke himself has looked through it), there's hardly any blanks that need to be filled, at least if you're Luke.
The diary itself is mostly in the background-- like I said, not as much Lane Lore here as the previous book, the girls mostly rely on Aurora's letters to Hannah here-- but there's one specific entry the girls read in the latter half of the book that explicitly mentions Pumapunku and Tiwanaku, and how Aurora is there for her mission to hide the emerald. Complete with coordinates hidden in a little drawing! My one question I have for Luke is, why didn't he go straight to Bolivia and started searching there? Why did he go through all the effort of kidnapping Irina, tailing the girls around Sahara el Beyda, letting SM fall for the salt replica gambit, left his base to touch grass and go on a dive with Cassidy in Egypt; all if he could've just gone straight to Bolivia to look for the treasure there? Sure, Aurora did a good job hiding the coordinates in the fish doodle, but someone as observant and as obsessed about the outcome instead of the journey like Luke would rather have sidestepped all the Aurora shenanigans and beelined straight to the goal if he was able to.
Luke hardly has an excuse here because he owned the diary at the start of the book, and most definitely read through it many times (and we know he's the type to do this, see TS 1). The plot hole is plot hole-ing, it seems :/
Maybe it was just an excuse for the girls to get a giant glowing arrow pointing in the direction of the treasure? It certainly feels like it.
Anyway, the things that carry this book and made it memorable when I first read it (and allowed me to ignore the iffy bits) are the gottems and Omar as a character. Aurora setting up a salt replica of the Rizzmerald as a gottem in a time capsule, only to be opened almost a hundred years later to still be as potent as intended when it was made so long ago? That is amazing, like c'mon, pure comedy material.
Even funnier is Colette doing the exact same thing, only with her lip balm. Luke is quaking in his bougie-ass leather boots.
Now for Omar. This may be a hot take of mine here, but Omar's sus-ness is actually at a decent level compared to the girls and what they usually deal with. On one hand, Omar is incredibly suspicious with how incredibly lucky the girls are to find an Archaeology Oxford major working as a Sahara el Beyda tour guide; but on the other hand, the girls had almost the exact same situation with Diego in Mexico (I didn't mention him in the first review, but he came in clutch in TS 1).
The girls met Diego in Merida, Mexico, and he helped them with their research into "the invisible place", which happened to be Uxmal, along the Puuc Route. Diego also just so happened to be a tour-guide-in-training for the Puuc Route, which was the place the girls just so happened to need to go to find Aurora's second journal.
In comparison, the girls meet Omar in Khan El-Khalili while they were looking for supplies for their trip to the Siwa Oasis. It comes up in conversation that the girls are headed to Siwa, and Omar just so happened to be a tour guide for Sahara el Beyda, which was where the Siwa Oasis is, and it just so happened to be where the girls needed to go. When you stack them up together, it made perfect sense that the girls thought they could trust him-- Diego didn't know much about their trip and helped them the best he could (which was a lot), so why wouldn't Omar do the same? He's an Oxford Archaeology major, too, for crying out loud, the girls struck gold in the end!
Gold that was too shiny and too good to be true. Gold that was, in the end, nothing more than pyrite, fool's gold.
Omar is a good case for why you should be careful with who you trust, and when you should start thinking a little bit when you're getting a little too lucky with the people you meet. When the girls got to know him a little more and decided to trust him and tell him the deal with their trip, he got way invested in the gem-- too invested to not be a little bit suspicious. Maybe the girls mistook it for his passion for his archaeology major, maybe they mistook it for something else-- but whatever the case, Omar pulled the cheesecloth over the girls' eyes and really only fell apart near the end, when his alibis and behavior started becoming more and more suspicious; and by then, Omar didn't need to be as inconspicuous, and the girls had gotten to know him too much to readily say to him "okay buddy can you kindly f%ck off, your vibes are not vibing here".
The girls probably should've been suspicious when Omar reappeared in Bolivia out of nowhere, but I guess his alibi was just good enough (and the girls at this point were probably running on adrenaline, caffeine and a brain on 70% capacity at most) to pass the Deception check.
Fr tho there were some bits where the girls should've found him sus but they didn't (him accidentally saying "I did it" when they uncovered the emerald, and also him handling the emerald the way he did), so shrugs. It could be a translation thing, but it could also be something else.
Anyway, kinda meh for a sequel, but it does have its standouts that allow it to somewhat stand on the same level as the first and third books. Kinda.
Hey, at least it's not as bad as Crystal Fairies-- that's the bar of bad-ness I'm setting. It's not as bad as Crystal Fairies and that's what matters--
Also special thanks to @ishmeowwow (it won't let me ping you for some reason bestie <:[) for making the lil' artworks haha
#geronimo stilton#thea sisters#thea stilton#book review#book rambles#book rant#thank you ishmeow for making the gottems for me :D#you came in clutch while my ipad is still dieded thank you bestie <3#in the book it's just the lip balm but ishmeow decided to go all-out with the gottem gag and i can't be more grateful lmao#same goes with the gemstone in aurora's gottem (it's just the fake tiara plus fake gem) but hey the more salt the merrier :D#book 2 luke is so jarringly different from his other depictions but at the same time#he does not in fact touch grass and he does crack an evil cackle at least once a book so#i dunno how i feel about it . .#on one hand it adds to him not touching grass#but on the other hand it doesn't connect with his “this villain is supposed to make you shnit your pants at how intimidating he is”#he's intimidating because of his connections his ability to basically spy on the entire world and control everything from his base#and y'know he can tell his goons to do whatever and they'll literally wreak havoc to fulfill said requests#he was so intimidating in concept that they had to nerf him with incompetent goons lmao#after doing last minute research i am deeply concerned for the girls' wallets and their mental and physical health :D#like good god i thought a ten hour flight was unbearable and made your body stiff but holy damn#i'm not complaining too much about the timeline tho because this is hilarious and makes the girls look so neurodivergent#“what do you mean we flew a total of 64 hours by plane feels like it's only been a day to m--”#*dies*
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invinciblerodent · 6 months ago
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btw since I'm Verbenaposting, nice as your LI's smile is at the end as it is, and how I like how it kind of echoes the way they gaze up at the Inquisitor and their advisors after the final fight of that game (which, really nice, here they're beside you and in no way below, driving home the way Rook in the story is part of the group while the Inquisitor is always above in some way), I kinda wanna rewrite it for myself the same way I did then, and hc that the immediate aftermath of the final fight is far less dignified.
Like you can't give me sweet, passionate men like Davrin and Dorian, and just have them SMILE at their beloved after they return from what, to everyone reasonable, looks like absolute mortal peril.
It's not just a nice, fond smile, but a fucking bone-squeezing, leg-swinging, drunk on victory kind of hug that's still dripping all sorts of grime and blood, but nobody really cares because (to live with Davrin's turn of phrase) bleeding thorns, you're here, we won, you're alive, you're here, you're mine, I love you.
... So I think that following the endgame, Ver holds it together just until they manage to descend from the Thing (the one that I keep wanting to call the brainstem even though it's not), and Davrin was left down there to help defend the people so he's there to catch her as she basically leaps into his arms and crumples- just like he's always been there to catch her, to lend his strength, and wherever you are, that's where I am, god bless
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in my mind, the bottom of that thing being just. a big heap. a cuddlepile.
Ver first crumples into Davrin's arms from like a foot up that thing still. then Taash and Bellara, who came up with her, silently embrace the both of them (Bel on shaky fawn-legs and looking like she's unsure of whether she's about to burst out laughing or into tears; Taash with their head dropped and stock still save for the tremble in their hands- processing still but about five minutes from a "WHOOOO!!!! YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"), all three (now four) covered in Elgar'nan's weirdly sticky, tarlike blood that smells like death and clings like a shadow (but it no longer sings with Blight, so Davrin honestly doesn't give half a shit).
Assan is circling their legs like they're slalom poles, overjoyed that his other favorite person is back again. There's all the couples embracing (with most of Neve's weight probably being supported by Lucanis tbqh, poor woman must be so terminally exhausted), but honestly, few people really care whose hand they're shaking or whose arms are circling around their waist, because they fucking won and survived, and there's the fucking Sun, and the overwhelming joy ripples out from the epicenter of it all until the soldiers and citizens in Minrathous are all crying and laughing and embracing one another.
(Dorian is off to the side fussing over his amatus for climbing down a fucking Blight-wall with essentially one hand because for some reason he didn't think that he shouldn't wear his everyday, carved wood prosthetic hand this morning instead of one that moves in any way, and honestly, what is he to do with this man, Maker he's going to be the death of him, they'll have to find another Archon, and then he'll be sorry.)
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hellafluff · 2 years ago
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Currently obsessively thinking about a silent hill from Mary's perspective. Starting in the hospital, the nurses replaced with doctors, faces blacked out except for white shiny gnashing teeth. She only has in her pockets a note written on hotel stationary that says I'm Sorry.
Escaping and meeting a young man, cute and a lil awkward, who says you look a lot like his girlfriend Maria, and shes missing too? Can we look for her together?
Hes... sweet, a bit quiet. He gets very close to Mary often, pushes her boundaries, but this is all weird and strange and maybe hes just scared. When she mentions it, however, he makes a rude remark abt Just Wanting To Help Her but backs off.
They get seperated when the Red Pyramid Thing, unchanged in this version, comes and attacks them both, but chooses to persue him.
Laura is still there, and when Mary and her meet they cling together. She talks about an awful, ugly man she met earlier, and to watch out for him. She helps guide Mary through a maze like area before the Other World sets in and separates them.
The monsters in Mary's Silent Hill are almost all larger then her, and many masculine in appearance. They attack her head, try and choke her. Certain ones cough and gasp, arms thrashing wildly and thrashing on the floor when knocked down. Some seems to have exposed, black lungs that stutter to breathe. If Angela and Eddie are the same in this version, then their boss fights remain the same. The Abstract Daddy just as horrifying to Mary as it is to Angela.
Every reunion with the man, hes different. Less nice, more haunted looking. He starts to call her Maria, and barely acknowledges her if she corrects him. Following his advice leads to darker and more dangerous areas. The Red Pyramid keeps coming and chasing him away, but shes always collateral damage when that happens.
Eventually, she makes it to the hotel. Hes waiting for her in the hotel room, haggard, almost unrecognizable from the man he was when they first met. He has a monologue about how she's been sick, and hes been trying his best to be there for her. She doesnt understand, she doesnt know him, shes NOT Maria! She never will be. She starts coughing.
He makes to leave but at the last second turns, and hes a monster now. Large, fleshy, imposing, always trying to suffocate her under thick hands. Upon his defeat, two Red Pyramids arrive and stab at the dying thing over and over until finally impaling themselves.
There are different endings still. She remembers her disease, and her murder, in most of them. In the best ending she leaves the town with Laura, likely still ill, but alive again. In one of the worst, she wakes up in the trunk of a car, as water begins seeping in.
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tanevcolton28 · 1 year ago
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We need a caption contest😂😂
When the pizza rolls are done
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