#how underwhelming and disappointing
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andaniellight · 3 months ago
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That's it? Is episode 8 actually the end of this season? :/
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divorcedfiddleford · 1 year ago
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hold shifty gentle like hamburger
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foggysirens · 6 months ago
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recouping from visiting with my dad by watching supernatural 😌
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fiona-fififi · 7 months ago
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...
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weedle-testaburger · 2 years ago
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remember that time the doctor accidentally revealed he's a werewolf furry
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cannimumsable · 9 months ago
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The pattern is that people straight up do not read™. or they read a 3-5 tweet summary of what happened and treat it as if they did. or because shonen expectations based on "the classics" is bullshit and significantly rotted people's brains when deciding wether an ending is good or not.
Which could be nothing right
yeahhh. i will forever regret reading the last chapter through leaks because it was a dreadful experience, and watching everyone ever shit on it for like a week after genuinely made me want to just get off the internet forever or something because i felt like an idiot for liking the ending (all this is my fault for getting too invested in both tumblr and mha etc etc).
All the "it's rushed" and pacing complaints barely matter to me at this point because you just cannot feel the pacing of something correctly when you're reading it exclusively through leaks. you can't absorb info like that. And don't get me started on the number of complaints and criticisms I've seen of the last chapter that are just provably bullshit (I saw someone say Izuku didn't get a statue lmao. yes he did, you just read the fucking leaks and watched twitter drama unfold instead of reading the actual chapter i fear).
#i just. do not think it is as bad as some people want to make it seem. i know not to take people who make cashier peaked in high school deku#jokes but like some of yall are treating this as if it's a major failure of the manga ? ? ?#it's underwhelming if you want#it didn't touch on stuff you wanted it to touch on whatever#i personally think that it did okay with the constraints it clearly had#like even without going into shonen jump conspiracy theories horikoshi had been doing 15 pages chapters for a while now#I also think that a lot of disappointment comes from fanon interpretations becoming canon in people's minds especially regarding izuku#and like do not get me wrong i had mixed feelings when i read the chapters i still have mixed feelings on some aspects (hawks what r you#doing etc etc)#i dont blame people who didn't like the ending for not liking the ending#i am just very annoyed by some justifications for not liking the ending#i don't even bother arguing with anyone at this point bc i don't want to be that person (too often) and because it just straight up makes m#feel bad lmao#anywayssssss i probably wanted to say something else but i forgor#oh no yeah listen. maybe you think it's lazy and maybe it is lazy to do an 8 years timeskip and leave a lot of stuff up to the reader#i personally really like this choice. important points were addressed and the rest can be speculated upon by the fanbase and by god.#we are the mha fandom guys. we can speculate. we love to speculate. we have EIGHT YEARS#you can do literally whatever you want man#i already have my personal canon for what happened during the eight years and believe me it helps a lot with the mixed feelings lmao#again. horikoshi did Not have a lot of space the story clearly had a lot of plot changes halfway through. i really do think this is more#than okay. this ending is not the end of the world i promise.#anyways i originally started like citing bs criticism i saw and then i thought ok lets not. inside thoughts etc etc.#i am not a meta analyzer i regularly learn i've misunderstood something about something or misremembered a plot point i am Not the person#for actually good meta and a lot of very insightful stuff on how we are very much not the target audience and lack cultural context go see#pikahlua lmao#mha manga spoilers#mha 430#mad mha ramblings//#ask//#i almost want to say ask to tag lmao? i have the mha cri/tical tag blocked so if anyone needs the opposite for me being overly positive
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crmsndragonwngss · 9 months ago
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'Cause I don't know when to give up Every part of me is so numb I'm sending messages to the sky 'Cause it's really got me fucked up And I I'm falling down like a landslidе I'm calling on my last lifelinе
Oh no, I've got a hard time letting go So close but is it real or all for show?
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popstart · 1 year ago
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i think it really fucking sucks that julia is the most rootable reboot s2 finalist and shes STILL awful as a finalist with the way she was written in s2. theres so much authorial meddling thats just "julia is a good character bc look at all the stuff she does compared to everyone else doing nothing" and its like. yeah i guess. she did do all that i guess. but it was all completely roblox godmode stuff. literally none of it was natural which is why its sooo damn hard to root for her. she didnt earn it but she did but she didnt. shes just written so bad😮‍💨
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justagaycryptid · 2 months ago
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Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the movie Smile (2022)
bc I really hate Smile (2022)
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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Y'know I generally like all the sephirah core suppressions but Man I wish Binah didn't have the no pause mechanic. She was going to get it anyways later, why did she need it right next to the guy who's main meltdown mechanic involves limiting your ability to pause.
I also just feel like the fight is actually genuinely pretty fun in the way it pushes your micromanagement skills to their limits, and I feel like removing the ability to pause just makes the fight go from a fun management challenge to just kind of stupid. Maybe that's just a skill issue on my part, but still I think her suppression would be a lot less stupidly hard for no good reason and more of a fun challenge if they just removed the no pause part
#rat rambles#lobotomy posting#I genuinely love lob corp and will defend its difficulty generally speaking but I do think its boss design is a bit. messy at times.#but generally speaking they are clearly built to be some sort of balanced even if theyre meant to be hard as hell#theres few enemies in lob corp that are genuinely just plain unfair in my opinion and while I hesitate to fully call binah one of them shes#damn close at best like I dont even think that limiting your ability to pause for her fight is an inherently bad idea I just don't like it#being fully turned off like of youre going to do hokma dirty like that just go all in and give her own special pause limiting mechanic#just in general I was disappointed by binah's core supression since I actually quite enjoyed the first bit of it#and this is the guy who did the classic fight whitenight with one magic bullet agent method#my bullshit boss design tolerance is pretty damn high with this game#tbf my binah supression disappointment was not helped by her absolutely nothing burger theme#and Im the guy whos favorite core suppression theme is hods so this isnt just a it not being my taste#like I. Kind of get what its going for. maybe? but also I dont get it what is the vibe supposed to be here.#on a similar note chesed is not beating the nothing burger suppression allegations his theme is also kind of nothing#to be fair his supression gimmick does make sense and I get what they were going for#but it kind of just means that youll either breeze through his suppression with ease or get hit with a beam of fuck you#its all rng in a way that I found particularly boring#when I did it it basically just stuck on white damage the entire time which was disappointing since it mean I basically didnt have to#interact with the mechanic or even think about it at all#but the core suppression that makes me the most sad is my girl lisa. they did you so dirty why is your core suppression literally nothing.#like she feels like the most tutorialy core supression and shes the damn halfway point#otherwise I generally have positive feelings abt the core suppressions#I do think netzach's is kind of underwhelming and yesod's is comically easy but neither are major crimes in my book#yesod in particular gets a pass because its funny and also I legit got stressed as hell during his because I lost track of what meltdown I#was on at one point and was just sweating heavily unsure of how much farther I had to go#netzach doesnt have as much of a plus side for me hes just escaping the active dislike pool because its mostly just an issue of the healing#being a bit too generous for my liking and wishing it was a bit more punishing#which isnt anywhere near the worst complaint one can have with a lob corp challenge lol#Id say my favorite is probably hod's partially because I have hod bias but also just because I love the vibe of it a Lot#the mechanic is also simple but strikingly effective in the challenge it brings while not being stupid unfair
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diabeticgirl4 · 5 months ago
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finally finished paprika and. that sure was something.
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whytheylosttheirminds · 1 day ago
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make this place your home - r.c.
Rafe Cameron x Maybank!reader
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summary: Rafe has been begging you to move in with him, but when you finally show him the place your heart belongs to, he realizes he'd do anything to make you happy.
content: fluff, angst, a drizzle of spice, semi-canon obx if you were to eliminate some pretty important things lol
cw: mentions of blood and injury, suggestive comments, closed-door romance, mentions of abusive parents (Luke)
note: my contribution to @zyafics mrga campaign <3
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“Don’t open your eyes yet!” 
“I’m gonna trip over something and fall on my ass. Or run into something. This is The Cut, who knows what junk is just lying around. I’m gonna get tetris or some shit.”
You laughed out loud. Rafe nearly opened his eyes to figure out why.
“See, now you’re laughing at me, you better not be doing some dumb shit to me for a Tiktok,” he warned.
“Oh my god, you’re such a baby, calm down,” you chuckled. “I’m laughing because you’re cute. It’s tetanus, not tetris.”
He should feel embarrassed, but the sound of your laugh and of you calling him cute calmed every muscle in his body. You were a balm that went straight to his agitated heart.
You were the only one who could disarm him when he got irritated like this. You told him once that you don’t take his bad moods personally because you can see them for what they are - he’s not angry, he’s anxious. He realized then that you’re the only person who’d ever really understood him, that you might understand him better than he understands himself. 
It’s why his shoulders relax now, it’s why he can take a deep breath. There was no one else in the world who could convince him to let them drive his boat while he’s blindfolded or walk through the tall, marshy grass without knowing where he was going. Only you.
“Can I open my eyes now?” He asked.
“We’re not there yet,” you shook your head, hand still on his arm to lead him closer to your surprise. “You can go one more minute without seeing where you’re going.”
“Maybe, but I don’t know if I can go another minute without seeing you,” he flirted.
You smiled, tempted to rip the blindfold off him and forget all about the surprise. Too bad for him you already knew all his tricks.
“Nice try, Cameron.”
As you got closer, your stomach twisted. Maybe this was stupid. After all, wouldn’t it be underwhelming to Rafe after all he’s seen? This place meant so much to you, you didn’t know if you could handle any criticism from him. You considered turning around, but you’d already made such a big deal out of this, how would you explain it to him?
“Okay, this is a good spot, I guess,” you said, your voice shaking with trepidation.
“You good?” Rafe asked. Of course he could tell your mood shifted without even looking at you.
“Yeah, I think, just open your eyes.” At this point you just wanted to get his inevitable disappointment over with.
Slowly, Rafe opened his eyes. He blinked a few times to adjust to the blinding Carolina sunlight before finally sizing up your big reveal.
It was your house, the one he’d been to a hundred times before - sneaking into your window so your brother wouldn’t hear, showing up in the night to investigate when you “heard a noise,” defending you from Luke when he got violent. Except, this wasn’t the same house. It was bigger, for one. And slightly bigger, with new walls, new roof, and a big, hand painted flag in your brother’s handwriting: “Poguelandia.” 
It wasn’t much, but it was your dream come true. In your eyes, you may as well have been standing in front of a magic castle. As you watched Rafe’s expression stay completely unchanged you realized that to him, it probably still looked like some shitty shack on The Cut. You wished you never brought him here.
“This is what you guys have been working on this whole time?” He asked, still looking at the house and not at you.
“Yeah, I mean, and the store,” you gestured to the dock behind you where you and your friends had built yourselves a small business. Another thing that would surely seem pathetic compared to what Rafe was used to.
“It’s nice, I like it,” Rafe said.
“No it’s okay, you don’t have to lie,” you said, voice small. You started to turn to leave. “I shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it, let’s just go-”
“Hey, woah, woah,” Rafe interrupted you gently.
He approached you from behind, arms twisting around your waist, forcing you to turn back and look at your home. He had to duck down to slot his chin into your shoulder, swaying you both gently.
“If I had to come all this way, I think I at least deserve the grand tour, don’t I?” he mumbled into your ear.
Your smile returned, you nuzzled your cheek into his, heart swelling.
“I guess, if you insist,” you said with a cheeky grin.
“I do,” he nodded, tickling your neck with his buzzed hair. He tilted his head down to place a sloppy kiss into the crook of your shoulder. “I’m especially looking forward to seeing your bedroom.”
“You mean the one I share with your sister?” 
He groaned, “why do you torture me like this?”
“Because it’s fun.” You twisted away from his hold and slid your hand down his arm to interlock your fingers with his.
Rafe followed you onto the porch. You paused at the front door for dramatic effect.
“Hello MTV, welcome to my crib!”
Rafe smiled as you cracked up at your own joke, but his momentary joy turned sour when you opened the door and revealed an unwelcome sight on the other side; the Pogues.
The lively discussion that had been filling your shared living room stopped dead in its tracks. The room turned cold. Six icy stares were aimed in your boyfriend’s direction.
You understood why they disliked him so much. He didn’t put much effort into changing their minds. But he’d changed yours. And though you’d tried for years not to, you loved him. Neither of you had said it yet, but you knew it was true, at least for you. 
There had been countless arguments between you and your brother and the shared friends that were basically family about Rafe. Countless fights you’d stopped between JJ and Rafe, countless nights begging Rafe just to try a little harder, begging JJ just to give him a chance. They both cared for you enough not to kill each other, but it was a reluctant ceasefire. A fragile peace you were always vigilant to protect. A truce that could be broken at any moment. You prayed this wasn’t that moment.
“Sorry, I didn’t think you guys were home,” you explained. The six pogues shared concerned glances with each other, something unsaid that you felt had nothing to do with you walking in with their least favorite person. “What’s going on?”
Kie stood, shot a brief but blazing glare towards Rafe, and handed you a piece of paper. You read it carefully, your eyebrows creased in confusion that was slowly morphing into great concern. Rafe read over your shoulder.
It was an official warning from the Kildare City Council. The land you were standing on and the home you’d built would be rezoned. They were taking Poguelandia.
“What the hell?” You shouted. “Can they actually do this?”
“Looks like they already are,” John B confirmed.
“No, no. There has to be something we can -”
“There’s not!” JJ stood from his seat at the far end of the room. 
You could see it all over his face, the anger that was always lying just beneath the surface starting to make its way to the top. Everyone thought of JJ as a happy-go-lucky, silly, mischievous kid. And he was all those things, but he was something else, something only you really saw; a hurt kid who never healed. 
“There’s never something we can do,” JJ continued, stalking slowly toward you, but keeping his eyes locked on Rafe the whole time. “Not when Kooks are involved. They always win.”
“Back up, Maybank,” Rafe snarled, looking down at JJ, who’d gotten close enough to break the barrier of Rafe’s personal space. 
You stepped between them instinctually, a move you’d made a hundred times before. 
“Stop.” You put a gentle hand on JJ’s chest to back him up, but he didn’t budge. “This isn’t his fault, J.”
“How do we know that, huh?” JJ finally tore his eyes off Rafe to look at you. “How do we know he’s not behind it somehow? Trying to steal our land for another bougie ass development project. You can’t trust these people, sis. How many times do we have to get screwed by them before you realize it?”
You and your brother looked at each other for a long time. The rest of the room watched as the two of you seemed to have a conversation none of them could hear; the unspoken language of siblings who’d been to hell and back together.
After a long moment, you turned your gaze toward Rafe.
“Do- do you know anything about this?” You asked him hesitantly. 
His face fell. A series of emotions flashed across his features so quickly, you were sure you were the only one in the room who caught them all; surprise, betrayal, hurt, anger, and finally, back to his go-to: detached stoicism.
“That’s really what you think of me? That I’d do something like this?” His tone was even, his voice far away even though you were inches apart.
You knew you’d hurt him by even entertaining the idea that he’d betray you like this. But this ground was shaky, and you had been screwed over by Kooks your entire life. The trust you put in him did not come easy, and sometimes it wavered, even though he’d never given it any reason to.
Rafe’s jaw clenched when you didn’t answer. He nodded once, his lips twisting into the kind of smile that had absolutely no joy behind it. 
“Unbelievable.” He muttered.
He took one last searing look around the room, twelve hateful eyes met him, and he didn’t look at your watery ones before turning and storming out of the house, the newly installed screen door banging shut behind him.
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Your knees were tucked all the way to your chest, your chin resting on them as you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to manufacture any sort of comfort. It wasn’t working.
The zone change notice sat on the bed in front of you. You read it over and over, as though if you just wanted it badly enough, the words would change into something less devastating. 
You were going to lose your home. You’d probably lost the love of your life, before you could even tell him he was the love of your life. Your brother was one step from completely falling over the edge, the rocky path toward destruction that you’d pulled him back from your whole lives getting steeper by the minute. A few hours ago you were excitedly cleaning this room so you could show Rafe. How could so much change in so little time?
A knock at the door pulled you from your spiraling thoughts.
“Come in,” you said quietly.
The door creaked slightly despite it being brand new. Sarah tiptoed into the room gently, searching you for any signs of distress.
“Sar, you don’t have to knock to come into your own room,” you told her.
“I know, I just thought maybe you needed some space.”
You shook your head and scooted over on the bed to make space for her. She took your invitation with a smile and settled in next to you.
“So…how’s your day going?” She asked in a singy-songy voice.
You both erupted in bittersweet laughter.
“Oh y’know, I’ve had better.”
She nudged your arm with her elbow.
“Everything’s gonna be okay, you know.” She assured you.
“Is it though? I mean really, Sar, is it?” No laughter hung in the air now. “I mean, what if I just lost my home and my boyfriend? Or worse, what if I just lost my home to my boyfriend.”
“You really think Rafe would’ve done something like this?” She asked.
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to. You heard him though, when I asked him about it, he didn’t deny it.”
Sarah sighed, a deep exhale that usually signaled she was about to say something she didn’t want to.
“What?” You prodded. 
“Look, I’m not my brother’s biggest fan, you know that,” she began.
“Um yes, you’ve made that very clear,” you chuckled, thinking of all the times Sarah had warned you not to get involved with Rafe. 
“But, just this one time, I’m going to…” She paused dramatically, her eyes screwed shut with reluctance. “...defend him.”
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Be honest, how hard was that for you to say?” You teased.
“I’m holding back vomit right now,” she laughed.
“Well then defend him quickly before you yack on my bed.”
“Okay, I just,” she paused to consider her words carefully. “I know you know Rafe really well. I mean you’re the only one he’s ever really let in, so you probably know him better than anyone. But I’ve known him longer than anyone. I’ve seen every version of him. I knew Rafe before he met you, and now I know him after he met you, and believe me when I tell you, those two are not the same guy. As cliche as it sounds, you changed him.”
You sat in silence, letting the words settle over you, surprised by how emotional they were making you. You willed the tears forming in your eyes not to fall.
“Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a dick,” Sarah added. You were grateful for a reason to laugh before you started crying. “But he’s not the same. There was a time where I’d say ‘absolutely, Rafe definitely did this just to screw us over,’ but not anymore. Not since he fell in love with you.”
You looked up in surprise, the tears at your lash line threatening to finally spill over.
“You think he loves me?”
“Girl, be so for real. That man has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you. Believe me, he’s yours.”
Your heart skipped, and the tears finally fell. You rose from the bed so suddenly, Sarah almost fell back onto the mattress. You didn’t know what had taken over you, just that you needed to go, now. Everything in you was being pulled toward him, like sand being dragged back out to sea by the tide. If you spent one more minute of your life without him knowing what you were so certain of now, you might not make it.
Sarah smiled at you, she read it all over your face.
“Go!” She urged.
“Love you!” You shouted over your shoulder as you raced out of your bedroom.
“Love you too, you freak,” she smiled to herself, knowing you were already long gone.
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Where could he have gone? Your mind flipped through all the possibilities as you ran across the lawn toward the dock. JJ would probably be pissed that you took The Snapper without asking first, but didn’t even care about that right now. You just needed to find Rafe.
You didn’t have to search for long.
As soon as your feet hit the wooden dock, they stopped in their tracks.
At the end of the pier sat Rafe’s boat bobbing in the water. The long figure of your boyfriend leaned over the bow. You watched with a big, bright smile as he untied the line, then retied it, then untied it, and retied it once more. He was clearly having a silent disagreement with himself. All that mattered to you was that he hadn’t left.
You approached slowly, avoiding the planks in the dock you knew would creak and give away your presence. The closer you got to him, the faster your heart beat. The words you were dying to say sat perched at the end of your tongue, you knew they wouldn’t be able to hang on much longer. 
Half way through untying the boat again, Rafe stopped and sighed.
“Need a push?” You said.
His eyes shot up to yours, startled. Tension filled his shoulders as he took you in, his shock quickly fading to something softer, yet still unsure.
“That depends,” he squinted in the sun to see you better. 
God, he was gorgeous. You could not let him get away.
“Depends on what?” You played along.
“If my girlfriend will forgive me for being a dismissive prick,” he said.
You forced your lips not to twist into a smile, pretending to consider his words.
“I think she might. If you forgive her first,” you said.
His eyes softened, lips twitching. You were both failing not to smile at each other now. 
Rafe finally tied up the boat for good, hopping up onto the dock. You admired every movement of his body as it drew closer to yours. When he reached you, he placed his hands on your waist, your arms drawing up to wrap around his neck, stretching up on your tiptoes to get as close to him as possible.
“She has nothing to apologize for. The only home she’s ever known is being threatened. She’s just scared. I get that.”
Every word fanned over you like a soft summer breeze. Your heart warmed, impossibly full despite all the anxieties today had brought. He just got you, he understood without you having to say it. This must be the closest two people can get to making magic, you thought.
“Thank you,” you let your head fall forward to rest on his chest. He kissed the top of your head.
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered into your hair.
You looked back up at him, shaking your head. 
“How is everything gonna be okay, Rafe? What if there really is nothing we can do? I mean, who’s even behind this?”
Rafe didn’t answer, but one name popped into his mind. Even with his suspicions, he didn’t know if he could help you. Helplessness was the feeling he despised more than any other, especially when it came to you.
“I don’t know,” he said, his heart breaking at the despairing look on your face. “But you’ve still got me. You could always move into the condo with me, like I’ve been begging you for months.”
“Can I bring my friends with me?” You scrunched up your nose, hoping he’d find you cute enough to say yes.
“I love you, but there’s no way in hell…”
A bolt of lightning shot through you, goosebumps erupting over your entire body. Did he really just say…?
He instantly read the shock on your face, but there was no look of regret on his.
“What? Haven’t I said I love you before?” 
“Umm, no, I think I would’ve remembered that!” You couldn’t help the big, goofy grin taking over your whole face.
“Oh, well that’s weird,” he shrugged, his hands sliding from your waist to your lower back, wrapping his strong arms around you and lifting you off your feet. “Because I do love you, so fucking much.” 
You yelped as he lifted you into the air, head falling back in laughter as he almost tumbled you both off the dock in his effort to sweep you off your feet.
You looked down at him and he lowered you slowly, tucking his head into the crook of your neck, arms still wrapped around each other like you’d never let go. You stood there embracing for a long time, so long that the sun was starting to set, casting a golden shimmer across the water. 
Finally you said, “I never gave you the grand tour.”
“And I was really looking forward to seeing your crib,” he teased, his lips brushing against the skin of your neck when he talked.
“Well, c’mon then.” You grabbed his hand, leading him back toward the house, both of you buzzing with the excitement that there was something much better than a tour waiting for you inside.
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“...And this is John B and JJ’s room,” you opened the door only a crack, afraid to unleash the stench that permanently filled the space. “They insisted on getting bunk beds even though they’re, like, forty. And Pope insisted on having his own room because, as he said, ‘JJ is a walking biohazard.’ Which is…fair.”
Rafe was just watching you with adoration as you showed him around the house. He was barely looking at the rooms you were showing him because he was so focused on the way you glowed with joy. It was true that he wanted you to move to Bayline with him, it was his life’s goal to get you there, actually, but he had to admit that you seemed like you really belonged here. He’d never seen you look more at home. 
“And this is our gallery wall.” You gestured to the display of framed photographs hanging in the upstairs hallway.
Rafe surveyed them dutifully with his hands tucked politely behind his back, like an old man in an art museum. Most of the photographs were of you and the pogues at various times in your life. Out fishing in the marsh, riding dirt bikes, post-surf at the beach. You admired the way Rafe was looking so intently and resisting the urge to grimace at so many photos of you with his once sworn enemies.
He explored the wall, eyes lingering on any photo of you a little longer than the rest. The hall continued to lead down toward your bedroom. At the very end, in a high corner, just above a series of photo booth pictures you’d taken with Sarah and Kie last summer, hung a delicate circular frame featuring a worn-out picture almost too small to see. Rafe leaned in for a better look.
In the photo, which was a tad faded and clearly taken several years ago, was a young guy, probably about 30, holding two young kids on his lap. The slightly bigger one, a boy, held up a trout he’d just caught, flashing a toothless grin. The little girl beamed at the man holding her.
It took Rafe a moment, but when he felt your weight shift next to him uncomfortably, he put it all together. The photo was you, JJ, and Luke. Probably the only one you had. And despite everything Luke had put you through, you’d hung it on the wall to see everyday.
Rafe turned to you, you were looking down at your feet, toes digging anxiously into the rug. His heart ached. If anyone knew what it was like to have a complicated relationship with their father, it was him. The fact that you’d still given Luke some dignity in this house he almost destroyed so many times said so much about you, and reminded him why he loved you so much.
“You wanna show me your room now?” He asked gently.
You looked up at him with glassy eyes and a small smile, “yeah.”
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The door clicked closed softly. Rafe took in the room, immediately identifying which bed was yours and which bed (the messy, half-made one) was his sister’s.
“Sarah doesn’t spend much time in here,” you admitted.
“No?” He asked, keeping his eyes off of you, the closed door suddenly adding a nervous energy to the room he wasn’t expecting.
“She mainly sleeps with John B.” Rafe grimaced, you hurried to reassure him. “Like, in his bed I mean, or his bunk I guess. Not, like sleep with him sleep with him, although I’m sure there’s plenty of that -”
“I’m literally begging you to stop talking,” he said, his eyes finding the ceiling, no doubt trying to erase the mental picture you just created for him.
“Sorry,” you chuckled.
Rafe wandered around the room some more, taking in all your decorations. He never understood why someone could collect so many knick-knacks that seemed to be worth nothing, but there was something endearing about it that drew him to you even more. Just another in a long line of things that would annoy him with someone else, but enchanted him with you.
As your time alone in the room dragged on, the air became tenser. You felt yourself watching him, but unable to move, back pressed up against the door, frozen in anticipation. 
You and Rafe had been alone together before - and you had been together before - but something had shifted out on that dock. Something that you knew you couldn’t take back, and didn’t want to. In fact, you only wanted to solidify it more.
“Rafe,” you said softly, finally pulling his attention away from your decor.
He looked up at you expectantly, like he had been waiting for you to give him permission to. He didn’t respond, just walked slowly toward you, his eyes on yours the whole way. Your heart was beating out of your chest.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” you said, trying to laugh to break the tension, though the sound came out more like a hiccup.
“Has something changed?” He wondered aloud.
“Yeah, I guess it has.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “Because today I realized two important things.”
“What two things?” He asked, surprised, and a little alarmed, by your answer.
“The first is that this is my home, and that in a way, it will always be my home. And yet at the same time, I also realized that you’re my future, and I love you.”
Rafe’s smile spread slowly, like he was taking in each word one at a time. His blue eyes sparkled - like actually sparkled - with joy. Maybe you were imagining it, but it didn’t matter, you just wanted him to keep looking at you like that.
“Oh you love me, huh?” His voice was low and dangerous, he stepped closer until he was towering over you.
“Yeah, haven’t I said that before?” You echoed his words from earlier back to him.
He just shook his head at you, tucking his tongue in the corner of his cheek to try and tame his smile. His hands found your waist like they were made to fit there. His voice carried down to your very core as he leaned in.
“You know you can’t take it back now, right?” 
“Why would I take it back? I mean it, Rafe, with everything I have. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And he showed you. His body enveloping yours as he backed you up against the door and kissed you deeply. A whole new energy between you now, your need and your affection for each other stronger than ever. 
Before you could get carried away, footsteps on the stairs reminded you of a very crucial step of bringing your boyfriend home. 
“Wait, hold on.” You pulled away from Rafe and he frowned. His disappointment was so cute you were tempted to kiss the pout right off of him, but first you rummaged through a drawer in you and Sarah’s shared dresser.
“What is that?” Rafe asked when you pulled out a conch shell glued to a piece of twine.
“Just a little system Sarah and I have.” You winked at him, opening the door just a crack to hang the shell from the doorknob.
“Do I want to know?” Rafe asked.
“I don’t know, do you want to talk more about your sister’s love life, or work on ours?” You bit back your smile when he cringed at your words, suddenly realizing Sarah’s use for the shell with a shudder.
“You’re lucky I love you,” he said, before scooping you up and carrying you over his shoulder, just to drop you on the bed with a bounce.
“Yes, I am,” you smiled up at him.
And he showed you, over and over, just how lucky you were.
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It was different this time, more passionate, more intense, more everything. And when he held you after, whispering more I love you’s into your hair, and neck, and the side of your face, you knew it must’ve felt the same for him, too.
You laid tucked into his side, his arm wrapped around your shoulders so he could intertwine his fingers with yours as you both stared up at the ceiling in pure bliss.
You sighed a happy, airy sigh and nuzzled closer to him.
“You know I just mean for now, right?” You said.
He twisted his neck at what must’ve been an uncomfortable angle to try and see your face.
“You just love me for now?” He asked, incredulous.
“No, no!” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant. I meant to say, this is just my home for now.”
“Oh, okay,” he rested his head back onto the pillow. “That’s better, I guess.”
You sat up, shuffling through the sheets so you could see him. You brought your legs up and sat criss cross on the bed next to him. Rafe lazily reached out a hand to tuck your hair behind your ear as he waited for the words he knew you were trying to formulate. He loved that you thought so hard before speaking, always determined to say what you mean. You loved that he waited to hear what you had to say, a patience he reserved almost exclusively for you.
“I know it must seem weird,” you began, “that I’m so attached to a place with so many bad memories. And I know you want me to live with you, and I want that too, eventually. But you have to understand, for so much of my life, it was just me and JJ. It was just us in this house. Even though a lot of it was us hiding from Luke or fending for ourselves when he didn’t come home for days at a time, there are good memories hidden in all the bad ones. Like, at the bottom of the stairs, there’s a spot where JJ and I accidentally ran our sled into the wall when we were stair-surfing. We covered it with chewed bubblegum and colored it in with marker, and Luke never noticed. Or in the kitchen, there’s tally marks under the countertop where we used to keep track of how many beers Luke had so we knew when it was time to go to John B’s for the night. And on the old dock, where our store is now, we made each other a pinky promise that someday we’d grow up and make something of ourselves and buy this house right out from under him. And we did it! And now, they’re just going to, what, take it away? Punish us for rising above the low expectations that they set for us? We were hurt here, yeah. But we also survived here. We did it together. I can’t leave that, or him, not now, not yet.”
Rafe drank in your words, and when tears came, he didn’t wipe them away or tell you to stop crying, he just let them fall. Let you feel what you needed to feel. His hand stayed firmly rested on your leg, there to hold only if you wanted it.
Through sobs you finally said, “this is our home, Rafe. We’re gonna lose our home.”
He’d heard enough. He stood from the bed quickly, pulling on his khakis and polo wordlessly.
“Where are you going?” 
Rafe turned to look at you, saw the worry in your eyes and leaned over your bed so his face was level with yours. You would have been frightened by the steel in his eyes if you weren’t so excited by it.
“You asked me how it was going to be okay, right?” He said, voice low and tinged with danger. 
You just nodded, unsure what to make of this sudden change in demeanor. 
“It’s going to be okay because I’m going to make it okay.”
With that he stood and stalked toward the door, stopping to look at you one more time.
“Get some sleep, yeah? I’ll be back in a bit.”
You didn’t bother to ask where he was going, you knew he wasn’t going to tell you. When he had a plan like this, there was no slowing him down. Usually, his plans were self-serving. He was a strategist, like his father. Only now, it seemed, you were the beneficiary of his plot, and you weren’t sure what to expect.
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It sure as hell wasn’t the doorbell ringing at two in the morning. 
It had started to storm and the thunder was rumbling through the house. It took a few rings before you could even hear the doorbell over the sound of the rain. Sarah lay on one side of you, Kie on the other, Cleo at the foot of the bed. They’d come to comfort you after Rafe left and you all cried yourself to sleep talking about the future of Poguelandia.
You accidentally kicked Cleo when you got up, who then kicked Sarah, who reached over and hit Kie in the arm as if it was her fault. Everyone was awake now.
“Noise. Bad. Make it stop,” Sarah grumbled into her pillow. 
“Hit me again and I’ll make you stop breathing,” Kie said, her threat a little deflated considering she made it with her eyes still closed.
The doorbell rang out again, in rapid succession this time, causing everyone to groan and cover their ears.
“Who the hell rings the doorbell at 2 a.m.?” Sarah whined.
“If it’s those goddamn Jehovah’s Witnesses again, I’m gonna shove their little pamphlet down their throats,” Cleo said.
“I’ll get it,” you said through a yawn.
“Wait, you’re gonna go alone?” Kie grabbed your hand to pull you back.
“What if you get murdered?” Sarah said, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
Kie and Sarah both climbed out of bed with you, but Cleo didn’t budge.
“If you get murdered let me know,” she said, pulling the blankets tighter around her. “I will avenge you.”
Kie rolled her eyes and pulled the blankets off Cleo, Sarah grabbed her hand to drag her from the bed.
“You’re coming with us, babe,” Sarah said over Cleo’s protests. “And bring your knife.”
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Lightning struck somewhere across the marsh at the exact second the door flew open. You and all three girls, wrapped in your blankets and holding various kitchen utensils, screamed at the sight on the other side. A dark figure of a man stood on the front porch, too far from the light for anyone to make out his identity. Cleo stepped in front of you all with her knife wielded.
“Hey! You better show yourself or get lost,” she shouted at the figure. 
As the man slowly made his way into the flickering porch light, you realized you recognized the broad curve of those shoulders, the slope of that neck.
“Rafe,” you whispered.
Just as you identified him, the porch light swept across his face, and all four of you gasped. 
The same places on his face you’d laid gentle kisses just a few hours ago were now black and blue, except in the places they were bloody. And he wasn’t walking slowly toward the light, he was limping, barely able to stand. He leaned against the door frame, holding his right hand in his left, his knuckles were raw and wounded. 
“Rafe!” You repeated, pushing past your friends to get to him. You tried to support his weight but you couldn’t manage it alone. Sarah came to his other side to help catch him as he stumbled forward.
Kie, however, took a defensive step backward, her arms crossed over her chest. Cleo kept her knife raised.
“Think you can put down the knife now, babe,” Sarah told her.
“You never know,” Cleo said, narrowing her eyes at Rafe.
“Cleo, look at him,” you scolded. 
She gave Rafe a once over, finally determining he wasn’t a threat in this state.
“Let’s get him on the couch,” you told Sarah. “Quickly, before he falls.”
Cleo stepped away to allow you to walk Rafe further into the living room. Kie created more distance between herself and your bloodied house guest. You searched her face quickly, it was a mixture of alarm and defensiveness. You could see the decision as it was being made, you tried to stop her but you were too late.
“Kie, wait!” 
But she was already running up the stairs, surely to wake the boys. There was no version of these circumstances that would be made better by your half-awake, hotheaded brother.
You and Sarah finally got Rafe on the couch. He leaned forward, grimacing in pain as he propped his head in his hands. You knelt in front of him, trying to find his eyes with yours.
“Rafe, baby, what happened? Are you okay? Please talk to me.”
You placed your hands on his legs, rubbing soothing circles, begging him to fill the silence with an explanation. You looked at Sarah with pure panic in your eyes, she looked back with concern. Whether it was for you or for her brother, you weren’t sure.
“Rafe, it’s okay, whatever it is, you can tell us,” she encouraged him.
You’d never been more thankful for your best friend. You knew how much it took for her to offer him comfort like that.
You reached up to cup Rafe’s cheek in your hand, touching gently so as to not worsen his pain.
“Please, baby, what happened?”
He finally looked at you, and your heart skipped a beat. You thought maybe he was going to confess something terrible, or else cry out in agony. But instead, he just smiled that soft, sleepy half-smile of his and placed his hand over top of yours, caressing your skin with his thumb.
“I made it okay,” he whispered to you.
Before you could react, footsteps thundered down the stairs behind you, the fury of their descent louder than the storm outside.
“What the hell is going on?” JJ bellowed.
“What are you doing here, Cameron?” Pope followed up.
John B rushed to Sarah’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“Everything okay?” He asked the both of you.
“I don’t know,” you shook your head, rising to sit next to Rafe on the couch, slipping your hand into his. The sight only enraged JJ further.
“You have ten seconds to explain yourself and stop bleeding on our fucking couch, Rafe.” JJ barked.
“Jay, can’t you see he’s obviously hurt?” You snapped at your brother.
“Looks more like he did the hurting,” JJ replied.
“You don’t know that! You always assume the worst!” You yelled.
“Because he is the worst!” JJ yelled right back.
You stood in anger, ready to fight your own brother in defense of the man at your side. But Rafe grabbed your hand and pulled you back towards him, not lifting his head as he held you in place. His other hand reached into his back pocket, pulling out a piece of paper that had been folded to protect it from the rain.
Rafe looked up finally, but not at you, at JJ. He extended his arm to offer JJ the piece of paper. 
JJ tiptoed over as if Rafe had somehow booby trapped the floorboards between them. You rolled your eyes at his dramatics.
With all eyes on him, and no sound but the storm outside, JJ unfolded the piece of paper. He read it for a long time. Like, a really long time. The little sister in you had to bite back a joke about his intellect, and you met eyes with Pope to see he was holding back the same comment. Even in this incredibly adult moment, you were kids together.
Finally, JJ looked up from the paper. Staring incredulously at Rafe.
“Is this for real?” JJ asked him, eyebrows raised.
Rafe just nodded, the movement causing the cut on his lip to open, making him wince in pain. You sat down beside him again, watching him anxiously for signs that he was hurt elsewhere. 
JJ just stared at the two of you for a moment before turning and leaving the room, dropping the piece of paper on the coffee table as he left. Pope and John B went to it immediately to read what had caused JJ to storm out, but you didn’t even care at this point, all that mattered was Rafe being okay, you needed him to be okay.
Except, JJ hadn’t stormed out. He had only gone to the kitchen, from which he was now returning, a bottle of whiskey and a bag of frozen peas in hand. He offered both to Rafe, Rafe opted for the whiskey. He twisted open the cap and took a sip, wincing as it went down.
You grabbed the peas from your brother, holding them up to Rafe’s black eye. He flinched at the contact but settled after a minute. JJ watched as Rafe placed his hand on your leg gratefully and handed back the bottle of whiskey.
“What’s the bourbon for? Drowning our sorrows?” Cleo asked.
“No,” John B said, he and Pope looking up from the paper with disbelieving grins. “Celebrating.”
“What does it say?” Kie asked, stepping further into the room, though she continued to eye Rafe like he was a wild animal that could go feral at any minute.
“We got the land back. They’re not rezoning,” Pope explained. “We’re keeping Poguelandia.”
The room froze for a minute, then erupted in a burst of hoots and hollers. Finally, the storm had some noise to compete with. The others hugged and cheered. Sarah rose from the couch and threw herself into John B’s arms.
“How’d you do it, man?” John B asked Rafe.
“Don’t worry about it,” Rafe said, squeezing your leg three times. “I just took care of it, okay?”
He sounded aggressive, like he always did when addressing these six people, but you saw this for what it really was - a peace offering. A grand gesture. A declaration of his love for you. He gave you your home back, he gave you everything. 
As the others continued to celebrate, the volume in the house reaching new heights as they passed around the bottle of whiskey and toasted Poguelandia, you leaned into Rafe, your chin tucked into his shoulder so you could whisper something in his ear.
He smiled at your words, raising his arm to wrap around your shoulders and curling you toward him so he could bring his lips to your temple.
“I love you, too.”
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a/n: had to come out of retirement for this one, missed my boy too much. and holy shit did I have fun writing for rafey again. also this is as canon as I'll write Rafe lol
oh, and what did rafe have to do to get Poguelandia back? That stays between me and him xoxo
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hungharrington · 2 years ago
Text
a little less conversation, a little more action, please
[rings bell frantically] CALLING ALL PPL WHO HAD BAD SEX EXPERIENCES!!! if that’s you, this is for u :D ! this has been in the drafts 4 months and i’m excited to set it free! enjoy! 8k words, fem!reader, oral (f receiving) MDNI THIS ENTIRE BLOG IS 18+
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You think you might be the only person your age in the whole of Hawkins who doesn’t seem to get the hype.
Couples have been caught all over in the act. At the drive-in cinema, in the back of the cinema, hell, even beneath the bleachers at school — tongues down each other's throats and pants around their ankles, so caught up in each other that they don’t care about consequences. That it’s that good, that it’s worth the risk. 
Sex. 
You just don’t get it.
Once upon a time, one boyfriend ago, before you’d ever experienced it, there had been an inkling of eagerness within you. Curiosity twined in with piqued interest, you wondered eagerly about when you’d find someone who’d show you all about why sex got its reputation. 
And then you had it— with Samuel Cosgrove in his twin bed when his parents were out of town, 3 weeks into dating him. Your expectations crumbled. 
You decided quickly that everyone must be lying if that was what you were supposed to be looking forward to. It wasn’t… sexy. You didn’t feel sexy having it either.
It only left you feeling somewhat awkward and a bit foolish, with Samuel trying to ruck your shirt up even though you had asked to keep it on. Embarrassment crept in easily at how you seemed to be half a step behind him the whole time, not quite warmed up, not quite sure if this was the mood, not quite ready to take all your clothes off. 
The springs on his bed were loud and squeaked with every shift of weight. The whole thing sort of hurt more than anything.
You chalked it up to the first time, dredging together your hopes even as they rapidly deflated inside you, cemented by Samuel’s sloppy kiss that missed your mouth and landed wetly on the corner of your lips when he finished. 
His sweat stuck to your skin and you didn’t feel sexy, or good, or relieved or anything else the dozen Cosmo magazines under your bed promised you would. 
Next time, you said to yourself. You had even confided in your close friend, admitting to the underwhelming experience, and asked quite plainly when it ‘got good’. 
“The first time always sucks!” She’d assured you, her voice a hushed whisper over the diner table.“Trust me, the first, like, three times totally suck.” 
You didn’t mean to but, subconsciously, three became the number to reach— get through the first three terrible times, and… all would be peachy in paradise. 
And so when the next time was… underwhelming, you weren’t exactly surprised. Worse, was how it wasn’t anything Samuel did but what he said that stuck with you long after he’d drifted off on your sheets. Lying in the cradle of your hips, Samuel had traced his hand up your legs and then frowned, yanking his hand back. You had startled, propping up quickly to ask him what it was. 
“You’re spiky,” he said, chuckling in a mean way. You could feel your chest ache pathetically at his words and you instinctively tried to curl your legs in, wanting to hide them away. So what if they were? It was the middle of winter and he’d surprised you, showing up at your window to sneak in. 
When the fourth time happened and disappointment weighed heavy on you again, you deduced the truth. Sex was some big scam- some stupid joke that everyone was in on and just pretending to enjoy. 
It was easier to blame sex if only so you didn’t blame yourself. But… it niggles in the back of your brain, a line-up of indisputable facts that all point to the same thing. That, maybe sex isn’t the problem — but you are. 
And, look, it’s not really a problem when you’re not dating or seeing anyone.
… Enter Steve Harrington.
Admittedly, Steve was not someone you thought you would ever date. Or maybe it was the other way around, that you thought that Steve would ever date you.
His reputation as a bit of a player was as far from something you were interested in, especially considering your feelings towards sex, but… he had sort of proven you wrong every chance possible.
One month of dates and it’s been no more than holding hands and kisses on cheeks. You’ve kissed him properly, of course, once or twice, but lest you give him the wrong idea, they hadn’t been much more than a quick kiss. Steve still seemed to glow afterward, no matter what. 
It made you feel good. Safe. Warmed you to know he was happy with whatever affection you felt ready to bestow, and never pushed for more. 
You could tell he wanted it. It was hidden in the flex of his fingers and even the not-so-subtle adjusting of his pants when he’d invited you over for a dip in his pool. You’d shown up in your bathing suit— and it was the most amount of skin Steve had ever seen from you and it did not go underappreciated. He had been touchy, hands skirting up your sides, but still respectful. 
And strangely enough, you find yourself… wanting it too. 
Wanting for his touch, thinking about letting your own hands wander across his skin to find what makes him sigh, makes him groan in pleasure, what might make him whine. It surprises you, the ferocity of your eagerness, how it presses your thighs together tightly and licks pure arousal up your spine — even when Steve’s not even trying. 
(He was, you just didn’t know it. Steve knows exactly when girls seem to be looking at his arms and he’s unashamed to say he will flex his muscles and pretend he hasn’t. Robin has caught him doing this several times.) 
And today has been nothing short of wonderful. 
A balmy Saturday which you found yourself swept up in Steve’s company over at his house, laziness fuelled by the golden sun rays of the day. 
You weren’t even doing anything in particular, just enjoying being near each other. You had stretched out on a pool lounger with a book in your hand for the most part and it was with giddy delight that Steve seemed more than chuffed to just lay beside you, sizzling in the sun and then occasionally cooling off in the pool. 
Which is a spectacle all in itself. 
The sight of his chest gives you one or two steamy ideas, especially as it drips with water when he pushes up on the edge of the pool. His biceps bulge deliciously as you peer over the edge of your book, not as subtlety as you might think. You honestly don’t even mind if he catches you staring, not when this is your view. 
Your eyes trace the sparkling drops of water as they roll down his chest tantalizingly slow, through the chest hair between his pecs, down, down, trailing down his happy trail— fuck, okay, he totally caught you staring. 
Your eyes dart back up to his face to find Steve’s already looking at you, his eyes holding a playful mirth to them. His smile looks just a little bit cheeky. Bastard. 
Water splatters on the tiles where he walks as he pads over to collect his towel bunched on the end of the lounger beside your own.
“Good book?” He asks sweetly.
He says it as he scrubs the towel over his face, drying it off and then starting on his hair— he gives it a quick rub over rapidly so that when he pulls the towel away, his hair is sticking up in every direction. He holds the towel to his chest and gives his head a quick shake, like a dog, shaking out the extra water.
When he looks up at you again, beginning to towel dry his bare chest, you realise you haven’t even attempted to answer his question. 
“Book.” You echo. Steve chuckles a little bit and it kickstarts your embarrassment, finally remembering to say something else. You hold the book up to gesture with it, “Yes! It’s good, it’s…” 
Steve’s resumed drying himself and you find your words leaving you as the towel drags down his tummy, leading your eyes with it. Your mouth feels suspiciously dry. Want. You want him.
“It’s…?” 
He’s teasing you again. You startle, wondering if he’s purposefully trying to put on a sensual towel-drying show for you. You’re surprised to find you’re actually glad that he is. 
It feels like another subtle way to affirm all his affections for you without all of the touchiness you’ve yet to reach with him — come and get me, it’s like he’s saying, if you want. 
You snap your book shut. “It’s too hot to be reading, I think.” 
Steve frowns in his worry and steps forward, closer to you. He presses the back of his hand to your forehead lightly. “You feelin’ too warm? Y’gotta careful being out here too long if you aren’t gonna swim.” 
He sounds on the concerned side but there’s a touch of cheek in his voice too, like he knows why you haven’t turned the page for the last 5 minutes. It stokes the firey feeling that’s beginning to burn in your gut. A smile curls at your lips and you huff a little laugh, leaning back and batting his hand away from your forehead. 
“Yes, mom.” You jest, hand falling back onto the lounger. You lean back onto it to get a better view of him. “I’m not too hot.” 
Steve grins. “Oh, I would say the opposite. You are, in fact,” He leans in closer, one hand coming up to push some hair behind your ear. His hand lingers, fingertips on the edge of your jaw. “Very hot.” 
You couldn’t stop your reaction if you tried— which you do try, some sputtering cough with a duck of your head as you feel your body flush hotly at his words. His forwardness is something you’re still getting used to.
Just as you’re about to stumble through a poorly constructed sentence, Steve saves you— reaching over to grab his rumpled t-shirt and pulling it over his head. A small, disappointed, part of you wilts. You catch yourself from being so obvious, scooping up your bookmark and stuffing it in a random page. 
Steve offers his hand out for you to take. “C’mon, we both need some water I think.” 
You ponder if there’s a second meaning to his words as you trail along beside him, letting him lead you back through the sliding glass doors that open to the kitchen with your intertwined hands. Steve gives your hand a quick squeeze before he drops it to open the fridge, peering inside. You lean back against the counter, arms folding loosely over your front and allow yourself to look at him. 
Your boyfriend. It sounds even a bit strange in your head and you know if you tried to say it aloud, it would get caught on the way out, tripping over your teeth. Calling him your boyfriend cements all those expectations you worry so much about… even though, not-so-secretly, you revel in the fact thats he’s your boyfriend. 
“Thinking hard over there, I can see,” Steve comments teasingly and you blink, realising he’s already looking at you. He must have asked you a question and you missed it. 
“What?” 
Steve laughs a bit, pink lips pulled into a slight smirk. He shakes the bottle in his hands a little bit, bringing your attention to it. “Did you want to try some of this? I think it’s sparkling and…” 
He trails off, pulling the bottle closer to his face to scan over the front of it. You can’t help but think the furrow in his brows as he reads is adorable. He hums, obviously not finding what he’s after, and flips the bottle over. 
“…raspberry flavour?” He finishes, looking up at you, brows raised. He gives a little shrug. “That sound nice?” 
You think about it for a moment and then shake your head. Steve laughs in agreement and places ii back in the fridge, some mumble about his mom leaving it here the last time she visited home. He turns back to the fridge still rummaging. “Okay, anything in particular you want?” 
You are thirsty but… your stomach swoops as you realise it’s for something else altogether. If you want it though, you’ll have to ask. 
“Maybe, a kiss?” 
Steve freezes for an instant, then he whips around like he’s not entirely sure he’s heard correctly. The fridge door clatters loudly and he quickly grabs it, stopping the rattling bottles and looking mighty flushed when he shoots you a grin. 
“A kiss?” He checks. He lets go of the fridge doors to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly, too aware of his own unsubtle eagerness. “I heard that right, didn’t I?” 
A nervous chuckle scrapes out your throat but you nod. You uncross your arms but can’t settle them, crossing them again nervously as Steve comes closer. His brown eyes scan your face intently, searching to make sure he’s getting every signal right. 
When you smile assuredly, Steve sighs in relief and his shoulders drop an inch. He smiles too, his hand reaching up to hold your faces cupping your cheek. His strokes across your cheekbone as he talks. “Oh, thank god. I was beginning to think, maybe, you just weren’t into kissing me.” 
Then he leans in— and you hold your breath without meaning to. 
The thing is, Steve is a good kisser. A very very good kisser and even your strange gaspy noise as you try to remember to breathe is not enough to ruin the kiss. His plush lips capture yours and have you feeling as hot as the day, a heat blooming in your chest and spreading like wildfire. Your fingers flex at your sides. 
You push up on your toes without even thinking, to steal more of his touch, and when Steve breaks the kiss, you’re embarrassed to find yourself chasing his lips. You clear your throat and avert your eyes, sinking back down— embarrassed at showing how much you’d melted under a single kiss. 
You just don’t realise how it looks to Steve. 
“You do… right?” 
Your head pops up, eyes widening as you try to comprehend his question. 
“Like… kissing you?” You ask meekly, more embarrassed that he’s asking for confirmation. Embarrassed that you’d somehow been overly eager and also convinced him of the opposite in one kiss. God, maybe there is something wrong with you. 
“Yeah.” Steve nods, pulling back a little further from you— like he needs physical space in case you say something absurd like ‘no.’ 
Your hands react faster than your mind, reaching to grab his shoulders to stop him from putting space between you. 
“Yes!” You say loudly. You try to rein in your embarrassment for his sake, swallowing your nerves which feel thick and swollen in your throat. “Yes, I like kissing you. It’s just, I’m… I’m worried.” 
How do you say this? How can you explain that you’ve been so afraid of your kisses going a few steps further because then- then when things get heated and Steve’s expecting things, you have to explain that — that what? 
That you’re not really sure if you even like sex, or maybe that it just doesn’t seem to work for you or — or that there’s probably just something wrong with you that means you can’t figure out how the hell to relax and enjoy sex- and that it’s not his fault but probably totally yours but— 
“Woah, woah, woah,” Steve cuts into your spiralling thoughts, having seen the dilemma spilled across your face. “Stop thinking what you’re thinking and just, like, take a breather.” 
He places his hand on his chest and mimes a deep inhale. You copy him without thinking, chest rising and falling in sync with his, unable to look at him for a moment. When you find the courage to dredge your eyes up to his face, his eyes are soft and his brows have knitted together in concern. 
“Good.” He praises, hand falling off his chest to rub gently at your arm. “Okay, now instead of doing all that worrying up there just… tell me what’s worrying you. Please?” 
Part of you want to huff and hide, to make him really pry so you know that he means it. It’s dramatic, you know — especially because he’s being so good at communicating. He’s asked outright. You try to put the words in the correct order. 
“Just… we haven’t— I haven’t kissed you a lot because I’m worried about what it might lead to.” You say quietly, eyes back to avoiding his gaze. You stare at his chest, the tuft of chest hair peeking out, and do your best to swallow the knot in your throat. 
“And I— I don’t want to disappoint you,” you admit, frustrated at how a familiar sting burns at the back of your eyes. “But I- just, in the times I’ve gone that far and— and slept with someone, I didn’t… I just didn’t like it. I didn’t enjoy it.” 
You squeeze your eyes shut tight, proclamation out in the open, and try to take a deep breath— just like Steve had instructed mere moments ago. Courage gathered, you open your eyes and peer up at him again. 
“Oh,” Steve breathes. You can nearly see the cogs turning in his head, his eyebrows twitching as he takes in what you’ve said and what it means for the two of you. “Oh, well that’s okay. I mean, if you didn’t want to I would never—“ 
“—That’s not the thing.” You interrupt. “I want to. I do. I just…” Your voice trails off, taking on a  trembling whisper as you say the thing you’ve yet to say aloud yet, for fear of speaking it into existence. You can’t quite look at him, eyes focused on the kitchen tiles instead. 
“I think it’s me. I think— I’m worried there’s something wrong with me.” 
Your words hang in the air for a moment and Steve feels his worry shift into something deeper, something closer to devastation, as he realises how deeply you believe what you’ve said. 
You genuinely think there is— even thinking it makes him want to scoff aloud. He forces himself to focus on consoling you here and now, instead of riling himself up with thoughts of whatever— whoever lead you to your immense self-doubt. 
“Well, there’s not,” Steve says plainly. Like there’s no room for discussion— his hand drifting down your arm to gather your hands in his own. They get swallowed, his hands huge when compared to your own. 
“There’s nothing wrong— you- you could never disappoint me in that way.” 
Your eyes lift from the ground to his face, desperate to see if you can see the truth in his words. He can tell- fuck, he can already read you so well. 
“Honest,” He insists, giving your hands a quick squeeze. “I promise you, okay? I- if I was disappointed over something like that it would be- that would be such a dick move.” 
“Well, you wouldn’t be the first.” You mutter bitterly. 
The words slip out without entirely meaning to; you aren’t trying to start a pity party but how are you supposed to explain why you think the way you do? How can you explain why you’re so worried about taking it further? Deep down, you know he deserves to know. 
Steve’s eyes widen for a moment, your words sinking in and cutting as they go. He doesn’t want to think about you sleeping with other people, for all the jealous reasons, but mainly because everything he’s learned today is that nobody has taken proper care of you. 
It twists his heart thinking of some fucking idiot not taking his time with you, not getting you comfortable— so that you get to this point, embarrassed, avoiding his eyes, and so entirely convinced that you’re the problem. 
“Look,” Steve says softly. His hands squeeze yours again and he tries to think of how best to say this. “If we never sleep together, I don’t care.” 
That catches your attention, your head jerking up to look at him — what? That has never even been an option with dating someone. Not in your mind, at least. You find yourself reeling, fumbling for words but Steve just keeps talking. 
“If you don’t wanna, I don’t wanna,” Steve shrugs, like that’s all there is to it.
“There’s nothing wrong if it’s not really your thing.” Another squeeze to your hands. You look up at him, aware you must look a picture of bewildered — there were a thousand ways you imagined this conversation going and this was not one of them. 
A smile pulls on his lips as he chuckles a bit, eyes falling to your conjoined hands. “Hell, for all we know I’d add to your disappointing experiences.” 
You laugh quietly but it’s saturated in fondness. He’s taking jabs at himself to make you feel better. 
“Hardly likely, considering the rumours I’ve heard about you,” You murmur lowly. You find it in yourself to squeeze his hands back, peering back up at him. Steve’s brows rise and he grins. 
“Oh? And just what rumours are we talking about?” He teases. 
“Shut up,” You say, no heat behind it in the slightest. Your chest is starting to feel lighter and lighter as the reality of his words sink in. “You know what they say about you.” 
Steve grins wider. “That I slept with Mrs. Click just to pass her class?” 
“What?” You wrinkle your nose at the horrid picture of your old English teacher with your boyfriend. “No! Did people really say that about you?” 
Steve’s grin fades, edging towards jaded. He gives a soft sigh, tilting his head back an inch. “People say everything and it all means nothing unless it’s coming from the right person.” 
He wriggles a hand free from your unaware tightening holding to brush his knuckles against your cheek tenderly. A piece of hair flops over his forehead, curling back upwards, and the buzz of cicadas fills the empty noise around you.
“So, I don’t know if some asshole told you or you just think that you’re wrong, but…” Steve inhales, his eyes darting between yours. 
The brown in them is intense, holding you fixed beneath his heavy gaze. “If— just you said you want to so, we can try and- and we can go slow and I’ll stop the moment you want to, okay? For whatever reason.” 
You feel a strange bubble of hope churn in your gut. It feels too good to be true. 
“…You’re sure?” 
“M’sure,” Steve nods. “Even for something as small as you don’t like the way my dick looks or—“ 
A laugh startles out of you and you shake your head. “I meant more about stopping but good to know anyways.” You pause a moment. “…Should I be worried?” 
You’re teasing. Steve delights in it, his own voice slipping that little bit lower— his knuckles on your cheek swiping across, down your jaw, til he lingers near your neck. 
“Why don’t you find out?” 
The hunger in your tummy returns with a new heat, rivalling the day. You suddenly feel nervous again, a roll of nerves turning over, but this time it feels far closer to anticipation. The kiss you’ve been yearning to give him, hot and messy, burns up inside you and when you rise on your toes, Steve meets you in the middle. 
Your lower back presses against the counter as Steve leans into you, his mouth slotted against yours. One kiss snowballs into another, and another, the fervency growing as you let yourself give into your desire. Your hands on his shoulders shift, trailing down to feel up the chest you’ve been gawking at all day.
Steve lets out a quiet grunt as your nails dig in and his other hand finds your waist, tugging you to press against his body — his other hand slides into your hair, clutching the strands loosely. You sigh into his mouth, nerves still alight beneath your skin but the way they buzz makes you feel good. Steve makes you feel good. 
Right as his hand scrapes along your lower back, heading lower, you’re both startled by the loud beep! that sounds in the kitchen. At the same time you peer around him, Steve turns and gives a sheepish chuckle, seeing the fridge door still ajar from when he’d been fishing around inside. 
He steps away from you, pushing the doors closed gently. Turning back, your chest swells with pride seeing the effect you’re already having on him; red lips, shiny with spit and a faint ruby colour in the apples of his cheeks. Steve smiles, boyish and charming. 
“Do you wanna keep—“ 
“—yes.”
You’re not going to squander this chance, not going to waste the days' chemistry when there’s still that tiny worry niggling in the back of your brain that today is all a fluke. That Steve’s words might just be an offer, something else that wouldn’t be a first for you. 
Steve grins. He holds out his hand and you intertwine yours with him, letting him lead you. Your stomach swoops as he takes you out the kitchen and heads for the stairs, checking back on you with a quick glimpse. You do your best to show him your excitement instead of your nerves. You’re not sure you succeed. 
Squeezing his hand does the trick for a final reassurance. Steve resumes leading you up the stairs, taking a familiar turn towards his bedroom, beginning to talk softly as he does. 
“Remember, anytime, anything you don’t like, just say the word.” 
You both pause, standing in his room and you swallow the doubts that try to claw back up your throat. Giving a sly glance at him, you smile coyly and wiggle your hand out from his. Trailing backwards to his bed, you pretend to think about it, til your thighs hit the edge of the bed. 
“Hmm… well,” You begin, a touch of sultriness dipping into your voice. “I don’t like… that you’re still wearing your shirt.” 
Before you, Steve huffs a silent laugh, that handsome smile gracing his lips as he ducks his head. He doesn’t disappoint though, his arms reaching up behind his head to shuck his shirt off in one fluid motion.
He chucks it aside thoughtlessly and where it lands doesn’t even matter — your eyes are fixed on his chest. His bare chest that you’ve been given permission to properly ogle at. You swear you feel your mouth salivate a bit. 
“Should've known this would go first, considering the way you were drooling outside,” Steve remarks cockily, folding his arms loosely. It makes his biceps bulge and you swallow again, this time nothing to do with nerves. 
“I wasn’t drooling,” You defend weakly, beginning to fidget with the hem of your own shirt. “I was admiring, okay? There’s a difference.” 
Steve saunters over slowly as you talk, steps slow and measured. He’s smirking by the time he’s before you, so close you can feel the heat of him. “Uh huh. Totally, sweetheart, I believe you. Need help with this?” 
His hand has reached out, fingers pinching the same hem you’re fiddling with. You nod slowly, “Yes, please.” 
Steve’s smirk fades into something sweeter and he grabs the hem with two hands, beginning to ruck it up gently, his eyes locked on yours — you raise your arms when it starts to get caught, holding your gaze to his until the fabric intersects. Your arms drop and you push away the urge to wrap them around your middle. 
Steve drops your shirt much more gently than his own but his eyes are still entirely on you. There’s a shine of awe in them now, flicking up at down the newly exposed skin. 
The intensity of his gaze makes you want to shy away but you chose bravery instead, reaching out to grab his side. Steve jumps, barely an inch, and before you even get a chance to question, he’s smiling. “Y’got cold hands, honey.” 
He draws them up to his mouth, laying soft kisses across your knuckles. Heat flushes through you and you melt beneath it, lowering yourself back on the bed. Steve follows eagerly, still kissing at your hands. He kneels between your legs and when he finally drops your hands from his, it’s to reach out and cup your jaw. 
“Keep breathing,” He murmurs quietly, eyes dancing in amusement. You hadn’t even realise you had been holding your breath. You realise it in one big exhale and this time, when you reach for him, you actually succeed in tugging him closer. You tumble backward into his sheets and Steve comes with you, his forearms planted on either side of you and his body pressed up against yours. 
“I don’t like…” You say, continuing the bit from earlier, your voice quiet and still tinged with a poorly hidden nervousness. “That you keep waiting to kiss me.” 
Steve’s brows hike up an inch but his smile hides his surprise easily, his entire face glowing a bit brighter. He looks fucking gorgeous bathed in the buttery sunlight, even though it’s just beginning to fade towards darkness behind the curtains. 
You stare unabashedly up at him, marvelling at his features that are etched in with adoration for you. You follow down the strong line of his nose, along the soft arches in his eyebrows, the faint wrinkles at the corners of his eyes that he has from smiling. 
You study the swell of his cupids bow perched above his pink lips and each of the moles dotted all over your favourite face— and think to yourself it’s not fucking fair that he looks like this. Like he’s been carved from marble and cast in gold. 
Thank God he’s yours. 
He doesn’t disappoint you — his lips finding yours and kissing you deeply, his chest brushing your own. Your entire body seems to sigh at the touch, tingling with anticipation — you’ve been overdue for all these kisses for far too long and it seems once you’ve gotten started, it feels impossible to stop.
You kiss needily, your hands moving off his midriff to drift up to his jawline. You cradle it gently, your lips a little less gentle- you try to remember how to do this, how to nip at his lips teasingly, how to soothe them with your tongue. 
Slowly, Steve’s body weight lowers onto you as he focuses more and more on figuring out what you seem to like. Time melts like candle wax and you feel as goopy as it too, all warm and pliable, softened by his kisses. Heat begins to simmer in your gut. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing when Steve pulls away, his mouth cherry red and his face flushed. 
His fingers slip beneath the strap of your bra, toying with it but nothing more. He checks over your face as he asks, “Wanna take this off?” 
You nod, breathlessly. Up til now, it’s been easy to turn off your brain and let all your thoughts revolve around getting kissed absolutely stupid by Steve. 
But as his hands work deftly beneath you, unclipping the strap of your bra and beginning to tug it down, you feel the first worry creep in — this is usually when your panties follow, then his boxers, and then the expectations. Even with all your enjoyment, you know that if he tries now, you won’t be ready. 
Frustration bubbles up in your chest, mingling with your insecurity and you squirm a bit, trying to think of how to tell Steve without disappointing him. 
You’re so sick of disappointing people for something you can’t seem to help. 
Steve notices your squirming. His head shoots up to meet your gaze, a furrow back in his brow. “Hey, hey, what’s goin’ on?” 
“I…” Words die on your tongue easily, a war happening inside your throat as you debate what to say. You like him— you really like him and don’t want this to end and… he told you he wants you to tell the truth. 
“I don’t… I’m not—“ Your whisper climbs in volume alongside your frustration. “Steve, this isn’t working.” 
The wrinkle between his brow deepens and it’s not a comforting sight. Steve shifts a bit, his hand moving from the straps of your bra up to your face. He pushes back a few stray locks of hair, eyes sincere. 
“Not working?” He murmurs, “Baby, we’ve only just started.” 
You blink up at him once, twice. Your mouth opens and then closes again. 
You know that but you also know how this goes. Well, you think you know— so why do you suddenly feel so foolish? 
“Oh.” You say shyly. You sink your teeth into your bottom lip and try to ignore feeling like you’ve just ruined the mood. 
Steve takes it all in his stride, nothing but a twitch in his furrows brows as he takes in your embarrassed expression. He leans down, and kisses your neck, then your collarbone. His lips trail down, down, slow and sensual. Your bra scraps down your arms, tossed aside absentmindedly.
“Sweet girl,” he whispers into your skin. “I’m so sorry.” 
“Sorry?” You echo, a bit breathier as Steve's kisses scrape down your breast. Your nipples peak to attention.
“Mhm,” he hums, his lips wrapping around your nipple and sucking— his hands paw greedily at your back which arches eagerly into his kisses. Steve drags his mouth off, beginning to mouth softly down your breast til his plush lips kiss at your sternum. 
“M’sorry that nobody has ever taken care of you before.”
You squirm beneath him at his words, a warm flush washing through your body as desire spins up inside you. Steve continues as if he hasn’t turned your whole view inside-out— his hand shifting up to thumb at your nipple as he takes your nipple back between his lips. 
“Steve…” you sigh out. 
He’s kneading your body in just the right way, the sensitivity of your chest fuelling the pool of heat growing deep in your stomach. You feel your thighs clench together, hips shifting up instinctively. You haven’t been touched like this before and fuck, it’s a lot. 
“I know, honey.” He says lowly, voice muffled against your skin. He suckles at your nipple and just nips at it, a flash of teeth, enough to make you arch further. Your eyes slip shut and you push your chest further out. 
To your disappointment, Steve pulls back instead. Your eyes open, neck craning to look at him, your chest rising and falling with your heavy breaths.
“Y’tell me if there’s anything you don’t like, alright?” 
Somehow, the heat in your gut flares that much hotter — knowing that there’s love behind every motion. You scramble for threads of courage and hold them tightly. Then you bend your legs until you can slide them around his waist, ankles crossing and tugging him closer. His cock, straining in his pants, presses flush against your core, and at the same time you inhale, Steve stutters out a groan. 
“I’ll tell you.” You say, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip to hold back your grin. It melts away as Steve shifts against you purposefully, one of his hands dropping to hold your hip. The hard length of him grinds against your cunt, catching the angle of your clit in a way that makes you mewl beneath him. 
Steve kisses your breast again but your hands are already reaching for him— fingers cupping his jaw to tug him up. Your lips capture his and this time, when he rolls his hips into yours, the soft noise you make is swallowed in his kiss. It’s fervent, your kisses gaining speed and mess. You tighten your ankles and experiment with your grind and are rewarded with a jagged moan from Steve. 
Faintly, you consider how it makes a little more sense now. That all those desperate motions of making out, rutting against each other, hot open-mouth kisses— fuck, if it was always like this, you get it. You feel like you’re on fire. 
A breeze flutters the curtains across the room, the only indication of time outside your little bubble. It’s far too easy to get lost in the motions— building up your lust until you’re sure the cotton between your legs is soaked through. It feels silly but god, even though you knew this was one of the things making all those past times so terrible, you had just assumed that’s how it would always be. 
The stickiness feels vulgar, your cunt pulsating with heat like you’ve never felt before. It just makes it all feel better though— the warm, hard heat of Steve’s cock, fitting snug between your folds. 
A pause in the makeout to catch your breath. You’re huffing wildly and Steve takes the moment of his undistracted attention to focus on the shorts you’re wearing. He doesn’t ask verbally this time but as he hooks his fingers beneath the waistband, his eyes flash up to yours in question. 
You wiggle your hips and Steve takes his cue, the fabric scraping against your skin as it slides down, down, down. To your surprise, Steve goes with them. He gets halfway down the bed, his head aligned with your belly, hands kneading at the flesh of your boobs before he halts. 
“I wanna try something,” He says, looking up at you. He dots a quick kiss onto your skin as he does, not breaking eye contact. “And I think you’re gonna really love it.” 
He drags out the word really, his voice low enough that it rumbles, nearly a purr. 
“It involves a little bit of this.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss into your navel. He kisses nice and slow, the plushness of his lips scraping across the stretch of skin. 
You shiver a little, feeling how your thighs part instinctively and Steve smiles wickedly, seeing the motion. 
“A little—“ He travels further down, his hands sliding to hold the outside of your thighs. He grips the skin and urges it to spread wider— then takes a greedy fat lick along your inner thigh. “—of this.” 
You squirm. It’s unnerving in the best way, having someone so dedicated to making you feel good— but Steve’s face betrays no hint of insincerity. In fact, if you had to guess, you’d say he even looks excited. 
His large tan hands cover your hips, slender fingers curved atop your thighs to keep them pried open. You’re expecting the next question to be getting the final scrap of clothing off you— a mixture of nerves and excitement at the vulnerability that comes with taking them off. 
He doesn’t though. Drawing a line with the tip of his nose, he nuzzles down from the inside of your knee to your thigh, the warmth of his breath fanning across sensitive skin. He kisses your cunt, once, soft. You twitch, a sweet noise pushing past your lips. 
Steve does it again. This time, his lips part and you feel his tongue press through the soaked cotton of your panties — he kisses again, harder, moving over your clit with his tongue. This time you moan and feel your hips tip up to chase his mouth, surprising yourself. 
Fuck, when have you ever been this wet before? The cotton between your legs is sticky and it only gets messier with Steve’s every lick. The duvet crinkles beneath you as you sigh and sink into it, the low throb of pleasure curling up in your gut. 
“Steve,” you sigh his name like it’s a prayer. 
He hums against your core, his fingers gliding beneath the elastic of your panties but not pulling them down just yet. His hot mouth drops lower, his nose pressing into you at the perfect angle. Your breathy exhale is lilted with moans. 
“See?” He murmurs, so low you nearly don’t hear him. 
“S’Nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. Y’just needed…“ His fingers grip your panties and begin to pull and you aid him quickly with a lift of your hips. “…someone to take a little more care with you.” 
Any fear of vulnerability is whirled far away; you need his mouth back on you, like, yesterday. Especially when Steve groans. Like the sight of your glistening cunt is enough to make his cock ache. Your tummy heats further at the thought. 
His hands re-situate, soothing up to your tummy before sliding back down to grasp the tops of your thighs again. He pulls them open wider. 
Pure fire streaks through your nerves, a sweltering pleasurable burn twisting in your gut as Steve’s tongue licks through your folds in one bold stroke. Your hips try to twitch forward but his hands are already there, holding them down. 
There’s one more pause, one soft curse of adoration, as his nose nuzzles along the soft skin of your inner thigh. You feel unbearably warm in his sheets, heat pulsating and dancing beneath your skin. 
“Steve,” you whisper his name again, urging him gently. “Please.” 
“I got you,” He murmurs in response.  “You don’t gotta say please with me,” He hums lowly, then kisses right on your clit, languid and warm, his tongue swirling around it deftly. You cry out softly. 
He drags his mouth off you and if you looked down, you’d see the soft sheen of your slick on his rosy lips. “I wanna give you everything you want.” 
You gasp as he finally puts his mouth on you properly, pleasure dribbling through your core as he suckles on your clit. He’s killer with his tongue, twisting it and flattening it against your bud in a way that has you squirming. The sheets scrunch in your frenzied grip. 
For the first time, you understand why pornos even sound like that— taking a moment to realise the whiney gaspy noise you’re hearing is coming from you. 
“Oh god,” You whine prettily. “That’s— uh— fuck, that’s really good.” 
Between your thighs, you hear and feel the moan Steve gives back. Your thighs are twitching, torn between trying to keep them apart or warm your boyfriend's ears. Your hips are moving, subtle grinds up into Steve’s face and he takes it all appreciatively. He sucks and slurps, tongue dragging down your folds to toy at your clenching hole— making you squeal. 
“Fuck,” he rasps, pulling back for a moment. His voice is doused in arousal. “You’re so wet.” 
Heat plumes low in your tummy as he dives back in, a groan echoing from his throat. The coil in your gut tightens, winding tighter and tighter. Your chest heaves as your voice melts away until everything you say is a whimpery little “yes, yes, yes,” and Steve’s name. 
His huge hands are still pressing your thighs apart but one shifts suddenly, barely noticeable in your mounting euphoria, until it’s tapping at your hand fisted in the sheets. 
You lift your head, confused, and peer down at him. 
It’s a mistake. His hand is resting on the bed in front of your own, propped up and fingers spread. It's clear he wants to hold your hand. Chest heaving and still lightly moaning, your eyes dart from his hand to his face — and that’s the mistake. 
He’s fucking beautiful. Hair mussed, rosy-cheeked, and dark-eyed, Steve can only hold eye contact for a moment before his eyelids slip shut as he moans against your cunt. Fire blooms under your skin, coil turned tighter and together. He wants to hold your hand. Your fingers just manage to tangle with Steve’s, holding tight, as you tip over the edge with a cry. 
It’s intense — jagged waves of pleasure that ride through every nerve in your body and have you nearly overwhelmed with how fucking good it feels. Incoherent babbling whines pour from your mouth. Your thighs lock up, beating Steve’s strong hold now that he’s down to just one hand, and close around his head. He moans in response, his tongue never letting up, licking and sucking at your cunt fervently. 
And he holds your hand the whole way through. 
You feel thoroughly flattened by the time your orgasm tapers off, your legs relaxing and flopping tiredly against the bed. Vaguely, you’re aware you should apologise for likely cutting off his oxygen flow for a good couple of seconds there but you’re too out of breath yourself to do so. 
Your chest rises and falls and a sweet contentment settles into your skin. You feel happy, loved. Without meaning to, an awed laugh titters out of you. 
Then another, and another. You can’t seem to stop laughing, a gleeful silly joy as you release his hand to bury your face in your own. 
“Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself. Then, slightly louder. “Holy shit, Steve.” 
You hear him laugh and the sheets crinkle — and then he’s in your field of vision, hovering over you with an adoring grin on his face. His lips are still so pink and there’s a shine on his chin. He wipes it away absentmindedly, focused on you. 
“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” He says, genuine and not at all cocky. He settles down, one arm on either side of your chest. One of his hands sweeps over your face sweetly. 
You nod, tucking your bottom lip behind your teeth to constrain your grin. 
“Uh huh,” you say, voice all gooey. “I didn’t—“ 
You pause. “I thought— and then you— and Oh my Goddd.” You cover your face with your hands again, groaning exaggeratedly as you try to roll over and melt away into his bed sheets. 
“See? I told you it wasn’t you,” Steve says, peppering little kisses where he can reach. He kisses your shoulder, along the side of your face. He coaxes you out gently, pressing your shoulder to roll you onto your back. You face him properly.
“There is nothing wrong with you.” He reminds you. You’ve never been so happy to be wrong. You nod, hair scrunching against the pillow behind you. 
“Okay,” You say, with a small smile, finally believing it. “There’s nothing wrong with me.” 
Steve’s stare is glowing with fondness and the next moment, he’s lurching forward to press his mouth to yours. You kiss back greedily and lazily all at once.
He pulls back and you hate how the thought comes to you, unbidden; the smallest wrinkle creasing between your brows. 
“But,” You begin, voice small. “That wasn’t sex though.” 
Steve’s head tilts an inch, like an adorably confused puppy. “What do you mean? That was sex.” 
“What? That was— that was like second base.”
Steve huffs a laugh, though not directed at you. His gaze shifts above your head as he chooses his words. “Uhh, sure, if we were still in high school. But even then, that’s still sex. We just had some sex.” 
Stating it so plainly, you can’t help how it makes you giggle a bit. Steve rolls his eyes, even though you can tell he’s entirely endeared. 
“We just had sex,” You repeat his words, eyes bright and grin growing. “And I really enjoyed it.” 
Steve laughs loudly and steals a quick kiss from you. Holding up his hand, he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Just had sex high-five?” He jokes. 
You slap your hand against his anyways, twisting your fingers to hold onto his hand as you let them fall to the bed. Steve beams, cuddling in closer, the tip of his nose nuzzling against your own. 
Turns out, you might be starting to get the whole big deal around sex after all. 
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mywritersmind · 8 months ago
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LITTLE BLACK DRESS - LN4
halloween special
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summary : loosely based on little black dress by 1D😊 happy halloween my horny bffs
listen up : kissing, yelling… him being horny. lando x fewtrell!reader
word count : 1655
⋆。‧˚⋆
She's always been beautiful. She’s the sort of pretty that when she walks into the room, everyone’s head turns toward her.
Today though… shit. She looks straight up sexy.
Max punches me in the arm, realizing I'm not paying attention to whatever he’s saying. But I can’t stop looking at her, long legs and a tiny black dress is all I can see.
As she gets closer, her hair bouncing with every step, I realize that it’s the type of hunger that will only be satisfied by my lips on hers.
There is one slight issue, though. “Sis!” Max grins, messing up her hair as she pushes him away, “Nice costume. You get it half off?”
⋆༺
you
“You're so turning into our dad!” I roll my eyes at Max as he laughs and whips his arm around me, pulling me into a forgiving half hug. He's the mad hatter, cute since I saw Pierta in her Alice costume a few minutes ago.
I scrunch my face up before looking up at Lando. God… Lando. His eyes are practically setting me on fire, looking up and down my body. He's a skeleton.
Looking ridiculous hot in all black, his costume is made by the makeup on his face. An illusion of bones with black and white.
“Hi, Lando. Happy Halloween” I say sweetly as he brings his cup to his painted lips.
“Lookin good, Y/n.” He gives me a slight smirk and I can feel Max’s annoyance before he starts complaining.
“Lando. No!” Max says as if he’s some sort of dog.
“I didn’t do anything!” He puts his hands up in defense before looking at me, “Want a drink?” I flash him a smile, fangs and all. He raises a brow at my favorite bit of my costume.
A vampire is not basic, It’s classic!
“She wants nothing from your grubby hands!” Max says immediately, his mad hatter hat tilting on his curls.
“Grubby!?” Lando scoffs as I laugh, but I see my friend in the crowd and squeal, leaving them both.
⋆༺
lando
How weird would it be if I said I want her to bite me? Fuck, it sounds weird doesn’t it? I don’t care. She’s been dancing with P for the past thirty minutes, downing at least two drinks and moving her ass in a way that should be illegal.
There’s fake blood on her chest and mouth. A mouth I'm desperate to kiss.
I’ve known her forever, and I would never admit it to Max… but I've always had a bit of a thing for her. How do you tell your protective best friend that you’re hot for his younger sister?
The answer is that you don’t.
But this feels different. We’re older, we’re both hotter, and I swear I saw her checking me out.
Max has disappeared and there’s a girl by my side in an instant. I take one look at her, get disappointed that she’s not Y/n, and leave.
I spot her at the bar.
I tug on her hair and she lets out a little scream before she turns and sees me. Her mouth contorts into a mischievous smirk, her nose scrunching. “Two vodka shots.” I nod at the bartender, standing close to her. “I like your costume.”
She looks bored, “Think I look hot?” When she turns to get my reaction I just tilt my head a bit, biting back a smile. She knows I do.
“Well I think yours is a bit underwhelming.” She sighs as I scoff.
“Hey- P spent an hour on this!” she giggles, “What would you rather me be?”
She thinks for a moment as the bartender slides us the shots, “Hmm… a driver?” Her body shifts towards me, holding up the vodka and smiling innocently.
“Very funny.” I take my own shot, tapping the table and downing it without breaking eye contact.
“You here alone?”
She leans against the bar, “Nope… my friends are here somewhere.” She breaks eye contact, surveying the packed crowd.
I lean in closer, “I mean did you come here with a guy?”
She narrows her eyes at me, “No.”
I can’t help but smile, teasing her is my favorite activity. “You open to leaving with one?”
She blinks, biting her bottom lip, “Lando…” I know i’m playing with fire but I don’t care.
“What?” I say innocently, “For safety reasons.”
She lets out a little laugh, “I’m not fucking you in the name of safety.” I frown.
“You’re losing your little flirty spark, Fewtrell.” I lean closer, my arm resting on the bar, “You grow up, finally?”
“I grew up.” She nods, “But I'll never lose my spark.” She looks offended, my eyes flick down to her body… her chest… her lips.
“Prove it.” Her hand goes to her hip.
“You gonna flirt with me all night or actually make a move?” Spark is still there. 1000% still there because the way she’s leaning into me makes me hard.
I glance at the people drinking and dancing, seeing Max instantly in his hideous hat. He's not looking at us, but I know he’s gotten a vibe tonight when I was staring at Y/n’s ass.
“You really want me to make a move in front of your brother?” I ask her and I can tell she’s torn.
Y/n has always been close to Max, but she was always known to be troublesome. I liked her more for it. She would sneak guys in when their parents were away and Max would always call me, purposefully being loud about how much he could bench to scare the guy away.
“Let’s dance.” My hand slips to her waist, tugging her closer. She gives me another suspicious look, “Come on… I wanna see the way you move for me.”
She rolls her eyes, “Take you and your one liners somewhere else.” She starts walking away, but I follow.
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.” I take her hand finally, tugging her into the crowd and pulling her close to me.
“Don’t act like you don’t get off on it.” I bite the inside of my cheek as her hand moves to my neck and into my hair.
“You’re so fucking hot.” I should probably think twice about telling this to my best friend's sister, but why lie?
She throws her head back, laughing. She shakes her head and keeps dancing. The neon lights swirl around us as people push and scream over the music. I can practically feel the djs mix in my body.
Y/n’s hand goes to the back of my head again, standing on her toes to yell in my ear. “I don’t want to smudge your makeup.” I think I'm about to faint.
I shake my head, making her look at me in the eye to make sure she’s serious. She’s staring up at me, a brow quirked as if she’s daring me.
My lips are on hers embarrassingly fast.
Gripping her waist, I slip my tongue in her mouth. The fake fangs scrape against me but I'm too focused on her so close to me to care.
⋆༺
you
I've spent an unhealthy amount of time wondering what it would be like to kiss Lando. Now I know that my younger self was completely wrong.
He’s possessive and rough, holding me close and sliding his hand up my body, to my neck. He tastes like makeup and alcohol, my hands holding his neck and tugging at his shirt.
It’s too loud for him to hear me say his name. He bites my lip and I let out an involuntary whine. He's smirking against me when I tug his shirt, pulling back.
I smile at him, catching my breath for a second just to make sure this is real. “I love this song.” It's ‘little black dress’ by one direction. The song that I played every day of my teenage years whenever Max and Lando were bugging me.
I laugh, leaning back as he rests his head on my shoulder, pressing a kiss to my skin. I turn his head to face me again, kissing him softly. “Maybe I'd be okay with going home to a guy.” I say in his ear.
“You better be talking about me.” His face is serious but I can’t help but laugh, slapping his arm before kissing him again.
“Of course it’s you, muppet.” I’m kissing him again. I get lost in a haze of smoke and music, melting into him as he breathes against me.
He’s kissing my neck now, moving his hand down past my back. Then he’s gone.
He’s off me in a second, “What. The. Fuck!?” It’s Max. “No! No! No!” He looks like he’s about to kill Lando.
“Hey…” I think Max it’s going to be okay until a smirk breaks out on Lando’s stupid face. “What if I told you I'm really drunk?”
Max’s fists clench, “Lando-” He turns to me, looking pissed off, “I can’t even with you!”
I push my hair back, shrugging and wiping my mouth. I look at Lando who’s about to laugh, his mouth is smudged with blood, black paint, lipstick.
“My sister!?” He yells, getting the attention of few around us.
“I- Okay look! I didn’t. I mean! Yeah… She’s hot!” he goes through options, clearing giving up as he looks at me. Max loses it then, “Yup!” Lando turns and fucking bolts.
Max is screaming and i’m laughing, it’s almost too comedic. The crowd basically parts as Lando hurries past, my brother chasing after his best friend.
When they’re about to be out of view, Lando turns, “Yo, Vamp!” He calls out, running backwards with a scared and mischievous expression on his face. He brings a hand to his head, mimicking a phone before breaking out into a grin, “Call me!”
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islandheartprincess · 6 months ago
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bully!rafe ༚⁠ᵕ˖⁠♡ pt. 3
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part 1 ✧ part 2 ✧ part 3
‧₊˚ ⋅ summary: he wasn't your boyfriend, why did he get so pissed seeing you talk to another guy. you put him in his place, but not long before he reminds you why you can't forget him
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ pairing: bully!rafe x sassy reader
୨ৎ .ᐟ a/n: ik this was long awaited, drk know how I feel ab this 1, feedback highly appreciated!
‧₊˚ ⋅ c!w: swearing, p in v, fingering, unprotected sex, reader is that bitch, switch sub & dom, reader makes fun of rafe, name calling
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in an attempt to get your mind off things, especially about your last encounter with rafe, you found yourself out and about with your friends.
you guys spent a whole day having fun, ending your day at some nice little food spot that most kildare teenagers you knew hung out at. it was until your day took a turn when you were reminded of your actions from last week.
it's not like you exactly regretted what happened, quite the opposite. being stuck in a state of disbelief, you were still struggling to process what even happened.
yet everytime you saw rafe, it was like it never happened. you still saw him acting as the same playboy flirt as always, the same dickhead.
for rafe, he knew that one encounter wouldn't satisfy his need for you. being the man he is, he tried to shut you out. when fucking some girl he couldn't remember the name of, it was your face he was picturing. and, your name he moaned on accident.
he also knew you seeing him with random girls wouldn't sit well with you. convincing himself, how the poor girl you are, you would just sit there and wait until he came back to you. you weren't pathetic like he was, he should've known better.
so when you saw his face, it almost felt as though the people around you disappeared. your heart skipped a beat, but you quickly regained control of yourself, and came back to reality. turning back to your friends, laughing and returning to the conversation.
no, he wasn't disappointed in your underwhelming reaction, was he? hm, trying to play cool, that must've been your plan. not for long though, he was determined on getting back your attention.
rafe was seated down with his friends, hoping nobody would notice his odd behavior. his eyes were on you, pretentiously watching and waiting until your gaze landed on him. you couldn't have appeared more unaware and unbothered, it was like he wasn't even there!
"hellloooo? you there bro?" he was snapped out of his trance by toppers hand waving in front of his eyes. he honestly forgot there were other people around him, "huh? yeah- uh, what?" his friends around him snickered, "dude, did you even hear anything we were talking about?" topper continued.
"nah man, he was too busy staring at those chicks over there." kelce teased, tilting his head in your direction. your friends noticed their stares, nudging eachother with giggles.
"really guys? ignore them! there total losers...." you shunned the girls around you, with a pout on your lips. one of the girls continued her giggling, "kelce is like, so cute tho! i really hope they come over here!!"
that would be your last wish. there is no way you'd want rafe Cameron and his stuck-up friends to come over here. rafe, ugh, he would just look at you, thinking of some snarky comment to say. with his annoying, stupid, gorgeous, soft, lips. huh?
their swooning quickly settled over. "im gonna go order a snack or something" you mumbled to your friends. you stood up, and made your way over to order. you took notice to the familiar cute taller boy standing next to you, waiting on an order. perhaps you'd seen him in one of your classes before
for some reason, you felt a little confident today. wanting to spark up a conversation, you turned your head over to him. "hey, i think I've seen you before?" he looked to you, before his lips quickly raised into a smile. "yeah, you go to [school name] too! i think we have some classes together!" his face lit up, as you two conversed getting to know each other a little.
he flirted a little, you flirted back, and before he picked up his order, he gave you his number. unbeknownst to you, rafe was watching you the whole time. he felt his fists tighten into a ball, feeling furious as he watched the boy smile at you.
who the fuck was he to be talking to you like that? and who the fuck were you to be whoring yourself out to him. it was just a conversation, right, but he thought he made it clear, you were his.
rafe quickly stood up when he saw you headed toward the bathroom, "gotta piss guys," he said quickly departing from his table.
he jogged a little to catch up to you, grabbing your arm and pushing you into the bathroom.
you gasped, ready to scream at the sudden ambush, but rafe quickly slapped his hand onto your mouth. when you saw it was him, you were a little relieved. then you remembered it was rafe cameron, and returned to your state of panic.
"did you forget what I told you? hm? last time in the hallway?" his voice was highlighted with fury, your mind quickly pinning what he was talking about. the memory replaying "you're only my slut, kay?" his voice echoing in your head. you shoved his hand off you, catching your breath.
"what the fuck, rafe? are you insane?" panting, thinking that he truly must've lost it. "holy, we literally just talked, that's it." you shouldn't have been defending yourself, he had no right to an answer. he looked at you with confusion, placing his hands behind his head.
"y-you just talked? really, so, you didnt get his number or anything." you couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth "if i did is that your business? are you stalking me or something?" you shoved him backwards, making him stumble and continued your rant.
"also, i don't remember you being my boyfriend or anything. you've also been having fun with your fair share of chicks isn't that right?" he went silent, anger fueling up.
"nothing to say now? c'mon you had a lot to say to me before, fucking dragging me into a bathroom." rafe opened his mouth, trying to find the right words but just ending up stuttering in his fake confidence
"right, how could I forget, you're just a pussy. always will be." laughing in his face, watching the way his lip quivered very seemingly furious. "don't fucking call me a pussy. 'm not a pussy." his fists balled at his side.
"mmm, no i think you are baby. too pussy to talk to me normally, too pussy to ask me out, too pussy to fuck me?" the way you spoke made him almost forget he was supposed to be in control.
rafe finally grabbed you, eager to shut you up. you yelped and knew you were gonna get what you wanted. he slammed you over onto the sink of the bathroom, roughly grabbing your ass. "god, y'just don't know when to stop talking." he groaned into your ear while unbuckling his pants.
you bit your lip, hiding a giggle. he pulled down your pants, and harshly slapped your ass. "fuck, that hurts!" you squeaked, but he barely heard you. "it hurts? im gonna make you hurt a lot worse sweetheart."
it was almost unbelievable how aroused you were hearing him talk to you like that, and when rafe pulled your panties aside, he was also in disbelief. "damn, you're wet." letting out a moan in response as he put two fingers inside you.
"fuuuck you're even tighter than the first time, can't wait to break you in" humping back into his hand, your patience faltering.
he quickly pulled his fingers out, shoving his boxers down and spitting onto his dick. you looked up into the mirror, watching him jerk himself off before meeting his tip to your entrance.
you felt a slight burn when he first shoved his tip in, the penetration feeling odd and uncomfortable. "ngh, oh my-" gasping, when he slowly shoved his length more and more into you.
rafe had to resist the urge to fully slam into you, but he wasn't that mean. when he finally was fully into you, he moaned so loudly into your ear. "you're squeezing me so tight babe"
the uncomfortableness quickly turned to pleasure as he started off slowly pacing into you, and you knew it wouldn't last long before he started slamming in and out of you.
quickening his pace, you could feel the counter of the sink digging into your hips. your fingers tightened around the countertop, rafe's roughness pushing you into it everytime he fucked into you.
rafe latched his hand onto your hair, yanking your head back. "look at how well you're taking me, fuck!" your eyes were forced up to the mirror, looking at the unreal scene in front of you.
the room was filled with the sounds of skin slapping and groans. his cock doing unexplainable things to you, you felt yourself black out when your high was nearing.
"oh my- rafe, fuck, rafe im close" blabbering, as your vision went out only feeling him inside of you. "yea? cum on my dick princess"
his eyes were focus on the mirror, how good you looked being fucked out of your mind. he should've lasted a little longer, but with a girl like you he could cum in his pants. not the first time it's happened.
his breathing was heavy, hearing your moans made his cock twitch inside of you. he was sooo close, unable to hold himself back.
you felt yourself cum all over his dick, your sight returning as your brain started functioning again, heavy in ecstasy. he kept slamming into you, aware that he was close.
"m' close, so close baby" groaning out, his grip on your waist was harsh. "yea? cum inside me rafe." you said with a stern tone, a tone that made him release in seconds, his cum shooting up into you.
slowing down, he pulled out and watching your shared semen drip out of you. he grabbed a paper towel, and cleaned you up with minimum effort.
you finally picked yourself up from your bent position, knowing you would have some bruises next morning. pulling your pants up, and turning around to face him.
he looked up at you, heart beating a little faster when you stepped over to him.
you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing his jaw "maybe you're not as pussy as i thought" you giggled into his ear, grabbing his face and kissing him before walking out of the bathroom.
it couldn't get better than this for rafe cameron. the woman of his dreams, but it wasn't that easy to work it out.
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part 1 , part 2(≽^•˕• ྀི≼)
i think this will be the last part, sorry im not as active but please give feedback <3
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freakywizard · 7 months ago
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i cant stop thinking about why i hated arcane s2. arcane is so supremely frustrating because it's not a complete failure. real love, time, and care went into production - especially the animation and voice acting.
this wasn't something that was made quickly and cheaply to turn a quick buck. of course it's just a glorified advertisement for riot games, but it still had a budget of a quarter billion dollars?
and yet, season 2 failed so spectacularly. on the macro-level. how is it possible that the story is so bloated yet empty? so convoluted? so devoid of actual coherent, cogent themes, ideas, arguments, etc.? it's disappointing to see a piece of art made with so much love be so... underwhelming
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