#i NEED to know what happns right meow

[kitkatyes]

i don't know how i'm gonna manage waiting until next week for the ddba finale

PLUS i literally got a shift at work that STARTS when it releases-- something tells me its gonna be the longest shift ever

[stardancerluv]

Bitter Tears, Forever Love

Part One

Summary/Arthur’s note: a while back, I fell hard for Ray Stussy & Nikko Swango. 🥺😍 I just love them, and they break my heart. I wanted to so much more for them. Here is the first part of one way, I’d give them more time...this is AU...with its roots ground in the world of the show. Bolded - Real dialogue from the show and the documentary March of the Penguins.

Emmit.

Emmit.

Ray. Fuck.

Ray.

Raymond.

Suddenly, he was above everything. “What the hell happned Emmit?��� He went to shake his shoulder. He couldn’t touch him, his hand kept on slipping off. “What the hell? Emmit look at me...what is wrong with you?” He followed his brother’s gaze. “Oh...” He brought his hands to his mouth. “What the fuck happened?”

Closing his eyes, the last hours events played before his eyes. He crouch down beside his brother.

“Why couldn’t we have had our backs? We were brothers!” He yelled as the tears fell.”

A man, with a straight nose, walked down the few steps, into the apartment and walked around his body. He smiled as he came closer to him and Emmit. “Hello Ray.”

Ray looked at his brother and then at the man. He backed away, further against the wall. “Who are you?”

“Let’s just say I’m friendly go between. When you are with me you are between their world and mine.”

The man was of short stature, he had iron gray hair with smatterings of white as he talked to him, he folded his arms. “He’ll be fine in time, come on.” He beckoned to him. “There’s someone else you have to take care of.”

“Nikki.” He breathed. Pain, ripped through him. Though despite that, he got to his feet.

The man nodded. “Now listen, your love was something special.”

“We were simpatico.” He breathed. “Does it still have to hurt?”

“Well, you were not perfect Ray.” The man gave him a compassionate look before continuing. “And that is the downside of love, real love.”

He closed his eyes and inhaled. When he opened them, they were in a bowling ally. “Hey..wait a plumb second.” He looked around. “Where are we?” How had he ended up sitting on a creaky metal seat at a bar and bowling ally of all places.

“Let’s just say its a place of pause.” The man shrugged. “Would you like a drink?”

“I can have one?”

“Yeah.”

“Beer, please.”

The man smiled.

A tall, glass was slid in front of him. “This is ok?”

The man nodded.

Grabbing the glass, Ray opened his mouth the amber liquid slid into mouth. It was bubbly and crisp just the way he liked it.

He only took that sip before turning to the man. The chair was solid even though it sounded like it could collapse at any moment. “Is this life? Am I going to carry this anguish...this pain?”

“That is the nature of existence. Life is suffering.”

Ray nodded. Looking ahead of him. Bittersweet anguish filled him once, images of his time with Nikki came to him. That last moment, came to him. Why the damn, had he not kissed her goodbye?

Because the bravery, the strength he felt whenever he was around her had filled him. He had just known, he’d be back with her. He’d ease her pain. He hold her while she’d drift off watching some documentary about animals or insects. She loved watching those things.

He still remembered the smile that curled her lips, how bright her eyes were when he gave her the dvd of March of the Penguins. He’d give anything to be back at that lazy afternoon.

.....the emperor penguin decided to stay, to live and love in the harshest place on Earth.

Nikki, nestled closer to his side. His arms were draped around her delicate, curves that were all in the right places. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. The sweet, fruity scent of her shampoo filled his nose making him smile.

“I’d go to the ends of the earth to be with you, to take care of you, Nikki.”

She looked up at him and smiled. Her eyes shimmering. “Oh, Ray do you mean it?”

He nodded. “Yes.” He kissed her nose softly. Bringing a gentle giggle.

Meowwwwww.

Like that, it was gone. Though her giggle still echoed in his ear.

Focusing, a sweet little kitten sat where the beer had been. He smiled at it. The kitten, looked back at him, blinking a little.

Meeooowwww.

“Wow, your will is strong Ray.”

Ray jumped a little not realizing the man was still there. He was still confused about all of this.“Oh?” He didn’t feel strong, more like a rung out towel or a deflated balloon.

“You transported back into your memories.” The man smiled. “That is why I am giving you this chance. The love you two shared.”

“Could I do that again?” Ray raised an eyebrow.

“Not if you want to feel her touch, really feel her touch. I mean.”

“I’m confused.”

“Now, Ray. I need you to focus.”

“Alright.”

The kitten, laid down and rested its head on its paws. It still looked at him. Ray gave the kitten another warm smile, it was awfully cute.

“As I said earlier, you have to take care of someone.”

He nodded.

“In reality, the two of you were meant to be together quite a bit longer...”

“Nikki and I?”

The man nodded.

Tears filled his eyes again, he didn’t bother wiping them away. He let them fall down his cheeks.

“We can’t stop accidents. They happen. What happned to you Ray was one of those accidents.”

He nodded. The kitten reached out and padded at his tears that fallen onto the bar.

“So here is my proposal. I will let you go to her. I am certain, she will take you in.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

The man chuckled. It was not demeaning, it expressed a knowledge of the ages.

“She won’t see you as you are now. Though I am almost certain she will feel that its you.”

“So how do I do that?” He rested his head in his hands careful to not squish the kitten. He felt hopeless.

“You will become that kitten.”

“What? How?” He pulled back and looked at the man and then the kitten then back at the man.

“Right now you are a wandering soul.”

Ray, patted himself.

“A soul is what gives a body its substance so patting yourself, you will feel solid.”

“Oh..ok.”

The man continued. “I will allow you to go into this body, this kitten to keep an eye on her.”

“Any other options?” His brow furrowed. How could he protect as a kitten. A tiger...a lion not a kitten.

“You could continue in this state. You would be wandering, lost in memories till someone else decides you deserve a chance. By then she may no longer Nikki.“

“But how....I don’t even how..”

The man held up finger. “I take care of the particulars.”

Ray took a breath. “Then, yes....as beautiful as the memories are I need to be with her. I want to keep her safe.”

“Wise choice Ray.”

******

He shivered, blinking he looked up and saw the number thirty four on the door, it was so large. Looking, down he lifted one...then the other. It had all been true. He was now that kitten. He inhaled and exhaled, then shivered again. You’d think with that fur, he’d be warmer he thought.

How am I going to get in there? Looking up he noticed that she had propped the door open. Oh, she was gonna be a handful but then again, that’s why he had loved her.

He pushed the door open, then springing forward he managed to hop in before the door came to rest against the latch.

Where should he go, he mused. Spying the bed, he jumped up and then using his claws he climbed the rest of the way up. Once up, he saw that the blankets were still wrinkled and rumbled from her laying there.

Seeing, the alarm clock it had only been forty minutes since he had left. Wow, only that long, it had felt like a life time.

Going to the pillows, he sighed. They were still warm from her. Lost in the moment, he rolled against the warmth that lingered.

Hearing the door creak, he looked over and saw that she had returned with ice. He immediately sat up, proper till she would notice him. On the tv, was god awful looking insect. Before he could keep his mouth shut he let out a meow. Half of it was in disgust the other half instinctual fear that now was the part of him a cat. He immediately, looked over to where he last saw her.

Her face had grown pale, as mask of fear etched and contorted her fine features. Though they almost immediately softened as she looked down at him. He took a few steps toward her.

“Why hello there?” She reached out with hesitant fingers, just barely touching him before pulling back. “How did you get in here?”

He meowed. He was still annoyed that she propped open the door though he knew how she desperately needed that ice for her bruises.

“Oh! She whispered, turning she closed and locked the door. She smiled at him.

“Wanna keep me company while I wait for Ray to come back?”

He meowed again, he was growing sad again deapite being with her. Eventually, he would not return and the hope in her voice would fade.

“Alright, kitty come on over.”

She came around to the other side of the bed. After stuffing some fresh ice into the rubber pouch she had used earlier, she winced and made sounds that still killed him as she went to lay down. She finally came to rest against the pillows again.

He just sat there dumbfounded, looking at her.

“Well don’t sit so far away. If you’re gonna keep me company you have to be closer.”

He went over to her, staying on the side he had always favored.

Sighing, she smiled before gesturing to the tv. “We’ll watch this till he comes back. That should be any moment now.” Wincing she put the rubber pouch on a purple bruise that marred the gentle curve of her hip.

He was too nervous to lay down. He sat properly near her. Her finger tips just grazing him. “These are very informative you know. You can learn quite a bit watching documentaries.” He looked at her and then at the tv. How she could watch these particular insects was beyond him. But that was his girl. She loved it. So he’d watch them with her.

“You, know I think Ray will like ya. Maybe we will keep you.” He felt as her fingers touched him a little firmer, he leaned ever so lightly into her fingers. Before he knew what he was doing, a purr came from him. Her giggle filled the room. “Aw, I think I am growing fond of you too.” He held his breath with what she did next. Carefully, she placed him on her stomach, she looked at him closer. “I don’t see a collar. Do you need a family?” He meowed. She was softer then any pillow. “How could someone give you up?” He tilted his head as he looked at her and purred once again. A large smile spread across her face again.

Her attention was drawn back to the tv. He always enjoyed when she talked. Anything and everything that was on her mind, she’d tell him. She was always so impassioned about something.

@rosionis @brookisbi @johallzy @foreverhockeytrash @frostypenguinoz @dandycandy75