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ashestoashesjc · 5 years ago

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A Necromancer & His Zombie Boyfriend On A Couple's Retreat

Short Story 1/2/(3)/4/5/6/7/8/9/10

"RrRRrrrr... grrr? <Hey, uh, babe... seen my arm anywhere?>" rang Sett's voice throughout their cigar box of a house as he rummaged through closets, opened cabinets, overturned couch cushions.

Shutting and latching the front door behind him, Ulrick began flipping through the stack of envelopes clutched in his right hand. "Huh? Oh…”

“Okay, so… don’t get mad,” Ulrick began, as meekly and guilt-tinged as one can make a shout. “But... there was this huge, I mean HUGE silverfish…”

“GRrrr! Rrrrr. <Dude! Not cool,>” could be heard as Sett stomped his way to the foyer.

“I know! I’m sorry! I’m weak!” moaned Ulrick.

Sett sighed as he entered the cove and laid his single remaining hand on Ulrick’s left shoulder, the other sleeve draped flaccidly at his side. “Grrrr. <Well, yeah.>” he said. Ulrick snickered.

“You know, having your boyfriend kill a bug for you is exceedingly normal,” Ulrick said, separating the bills from the letters that weren’t bills. There were very few that weren’t bills. “Almost conventional.”

“Rrr. <True,>” Sett replied. “Rggrrrr. <Probably while the arm’s still attached, though.>”

“A mere quibble.”

“Rrrrgrrr? <So, where is it now?>” Sett asked.

“Ugh. Still getting cozy with the silverfish, I’d imagine,” Ulrick admitted, guilt creeping back into his voice. He covered his eyes with his free hand and shuddered. “In… the shower.”

Sett sucked air through his teeth in a compassion-filled cringe.

“Yeah,” Ulrick sighed, resigned to his trauma.

“Grrrr. <Don’t worry,>” said Sett. “Rraarr. <I got it.>”

Ulrick slid his hand down his face with a grateful groan. “God, I love you.” Sett pulled him forward by his collar and pecked his forehead.

Continuing to sort through the mail, Ulrick came to a red envelope and, seeing it addressed to Sett, handed it over. “Looks important.”

Confusion clouded Sett’s eyes for the first few, slow moments spent undoing the envelope’s seal flap, until suddenly, a surge of realization like lightning drove him to violently tear the crimson paper away.

As he scanned the contents of the letter contained within, words failing to do his emotional state justice, Sett began to fist pump wildly, God help anyone in the flight path of his singular elbow. Ulrick looked on in entranced bewilderment.

“Was there itching powder in that envelope?” asked Ulrick.

Sett shoved the creased letter in Ulrick’s face, his manic energy not yet dissipated. Ulrick took it and held it out at arm’s length until his eyes brought the words into focus.

“A couple’s retreat?” he wondered aloud, lowering the paper enough to peer over the top at Sett.

“Grrgrrrr. <An all-expenses paid couple’s retreat.> Rrrrrr. <At a swanky resort.> GrrrrRr. <Complete with water skis.>”

“This is from a contest?” he asked, rotating and inspecting the sheet. “When did we enter a contest?”

“Rrggrrrr? <You know those entry slips we’re getting in the post all the time?>”

“The ones I’m always throwing away? I’m familiar.”

“RrrRrrrrr ggrrrr. <Well, your aim could use some work, because some of them wind up in the mailbox,>” said Sett, with a shrug.

The sound that next filled the room, colored with exasperated mirth, was one Sett was used to Ulrick making, though one that never stopped bringing a flush of heat to the place where his heart used to be.

He grabbed Ulrick by the hips and the two began to sway back and forth. “Rrrrrr. <Just imagine it,>” he purred dreamily. “GrrrRRrrrr rrrrRrrr grrr...arrrr? <Massages, rock-climbing, a luau. And… did I mention waterskiing?>”

Swaying still, Ulrick looked up with his head cocked. "I've... never heard you mention waterskiing before."

"GrrRrrrrrr. <I enjoy a lot of things I don't talk about.> Rgrrrrgrrr. <Like country music, or bad chick lit,>" Sett said before twirling and dipping Ulrick in a blur. "Rraarrrr. <I'm a multi-layered zombie.>"

Breaking clumsily away from the songless dance and squeezing the bridge of his nose, Ulrick set down the remainder of the mail on the side table by the entrance and looked his boyfriend over. “It’s totally free?”

“Grrarrr. <It’s totally free,>” confirmed Sett.

Ulrick raised an eyebrow. “No catch?”

“Rrr… <Well…>”

“And streeetch! That’s right! Streeetch!”

At the front of Meadow Grove Resort’s famed yoga studio balanced - one foot planted on the ground, the other hooked deftly behind her neck - Chrysanthemum Smith, a remarkably limber 60-year-old instructor, urging her out-of-shape contest winning students to achieve the same feats of flexibility.

All around Ulrick and Sett, a pretzel factory’s soon-to-be-discarded collection of heinous, gnarly undesirables had been given life in the form of sweaty middle Americans.

That pretzels went through a less agonizing process being baked at 500 degrees was a fact Ulrick was both confident in and envious of. His legs were angled in a way he was sure he’d feel for weeks to come.

Sett, on the other hand, had apparently been a contortionist in a past life, the way he bent himself into poses, well, a pretzel would gawk at, holding each position stoically before moving gracefully on to the next. It also helped that he couldn’t feel what would leave most tendons shredded rags.

Ulrick gave up the pursuit of dislocating his pelvis and instead went to poke Sett in the cheek. Through his mask, Sett made a chomping motion at the finger, though remained otherwise totally still. "Okay, but this kind of bites, right?" Ulrick signed.

"A little. And not in the fun way," Sett signed back.

On a pair of blue, rubber mats to their left were two women - one in a biker's jacket and tattered, patched jeans, short red hair tied into a haphazard ponytail; the other a dark woman donning a shaved head, flower-patterned maxi dress, and combat boots - the former of whom suddenly grabbed Ulrick's attention with a nod.

"You're telling me," she signed.

And in an instant, they were no longer alone in the hazy, secluded sphere that made their reality.

So taken aback was he that he blurted aloud, "You sign?"

The yoga instructor shushed him from her place at the head of the wide room, leading him to duck down sheepishly. With the forced inclusion of an overly casual air, he said more than asked, "You sign."

"Oh, yeah," the woman chuckled gruffly. "Mom's Deaf."

Taking a sudden interest in the conversation, Sett's head swiveled to the leather jacket-clad woman. "Shit yeah!" he signed with fervor, eliciting a harsh snort from the woman. The instructor's head whipped around to glare her way, but went ignored.

Sett's hands jumbled for a moment before he continued. "I mean, I'm sure that must have been very difficult for your family and--"

She gave a dismissive wave of the hand. "Nah, don't worry about it. She's capital 'D' Deaf. A congenital thing. Whole family's been signing forever."

Her wife - Jen, they later learned - chimed in with, "Di does it at home, too. She's taught me half the lyrics to Boys for Pele."

"Wow!" Ulrick said with teeth-clenching enthusiasm. "That's so great! Isn't that so great, Sett?"

The mask did nothing to conceal Sett's raised, beaming features. "That's so great!" he signed.

"I'm sorry!" bellowed the lithe yogi, shattering all delusions of serenity. "Am I boring you?"

Several overlapping voices came to the general consensus of "Christ, yes."

One of the husbands, portly and somewhat resembling the famously affable capybara, asked, somewhat less affably, why they were being stretched into taffy when they should be outside taking one-on-one lessons with the beach volleyball instructor. He was joined by a few surly “yeah!”s.

They were met with an unimpressed crossing of the arms. Though it should be noted Smith’s foot was still being held comfortably behind her head.

"I would suggest, in the future, that you more closely scrutinize contest entries," Yogi Smith advised in as calm a manner as it seemed she could now manage, though with an unmistakable edge to her voice. "In order to partake in our facility’s more... physically involved activities, you’ll first need to align and cleanse your mental, emotional, and spiritual energies.”

This provoked a studio-wide groan, with the exclusion of Jen, who seemed just eager enough to cancel out the cloud of grim impatience encircling her.

“Unless, of course,” Smith said, shifting poses to something favoring the letter ‘G’, “you’d prefer to construct your own schedules. In which case, a full price admission to Meadow Grove Resort remains available.”

She sleekly extended her right leg, pointing its foot pin-straight toward the sliding studio doors. “Don’t, as the masters of yore were wont to say, let the door hit ya.”

When no one moved and the room went quiet enough to hear an acupuncture needle drop, Smith resumed a standing position and bowed three times to each division of the studio. “Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.”

Chrysanthemum Smith had in no way undersold how ‘aligned and cleansed’ couple’s therapy and its airings of dirty laundry and subsequent ferocious dissolutions of decades of marriage; couple’s pottery, the same thing but with clay vases; and couple’s finger-painting, a bonding exercise in shared humiliation, would make their minds, emotions, and souls through sheer gut-rending hilarity.

Ulrick almost didn’t want to stop watching people who, hours ago, seemed all confidence and bravado, now being brought to tears by an instructor’s criticism of their macaroni art lacking ‘depth.’

But their confinement was over and they were free to roam the grounds as they saw fit and Sett, without even feigning to look for a map of the resort, made a beeline for the largest body of water (and the largest gathering of humans) he could sniff. Ulrick was still surprised at times by how agile Sett could be on his feet when on the hunt for blood - or recreational watersports - and struggled to keep up.

Their long-awaited waterskiing adventure began almost as soon as they arrived at the lakeside, the instructor needing a volunteer at that instant to man the skis while he lectured another guest on the controls of the boat. At nearly a head taller than anyone else present, Sett didn’t need much more than a raised hand to stand out.

Things were going great; Sett mounted on skis as long as he was tall, the boat revving greedily for take off. At Sett’s thumbs up, the runabout hammered off in a thunderous roar. And then, all at once, things were going wrong.

The envisioned majesty of skimming the motionless calm of the crystal river was halted abruptly with a leaden Sett stumbling mid-lake in his skis, trying and failing to correct himself, going feet-over-head, and sinking like an anchor to the agitated silt of the riverbed below.

Ulrick, though he jumped with concern at the first hint of a misstep, expected a brief swim back, perhaps slowed a bit - but not much - by Sett's stoney limbs. He’d been the star diver of his local swimming hole as a teen and still maintained some of the underwater dexterity, though nowadays tended to lurk the floors of bodies of water like a carnivorous bottom-feeder; eating habits included.

But then a few minutes passed, and nothing. A lifeguard and two of the more experienced swimmers among the guests plunged into the river and searched for fifteen minutes, cracking the surface now and again for a gulp of air, all to no avail. The water was too cloudy with sediment to see past a certain depth, and the orange-purples of dusk were beginning to settle in. They'd need to return in the morning with a diving team.

It'd now been forty-five minutes, and three of the resort’s other guests were consoling Ulrick, one herself on the verge of waterworks. They'd just witnessed a man - someone's significant other - torn tragically from life's teat, and in front of the man he loved, no less.

Ulrick, for his part, was positively miffed.

"When I get my hands on him..." Ulrick started, before one of the grievers tossed him a teary-eyed questioning look. "Er, that is... would that I could only put my hands on him... again..." he corrected.

Just as Ulrick had begun mentally reviewing the basics of the Arts of Throttling, a movement, barely noticeable, shook the surface of the lake. Then bubbles, then the full break of the water as a head rose into view. Then the screams of onlookers as, in the fading light, a ghastly lake monster began its murderous approach. Then screams of a different kind as people began to make the connection proper. Then there was weeping, fainting, more than one declaration of faith renewed. It was a miracle!

Later, after insistences for medical attention were politely but firmly refused and the religious stragglers begging for just a smell of Sett’s waterlogged clothes were shooed away, Ulrick asked why he waited so long to resurface, to which Sett said, "GrrrrRRrr. <Well, at first I was just sort of embarrassed.> RrrrrrrGrrrRrrr? <Then I thought, "How often do these people see miracles?>"

"Oh, sure," groaned Ulrick. "A man comes out of a lake after half an hour and it's a miracle. A man comes out of a grave after a few months and it's "Grab the torches and pitchforks, everyone!""

"Rrrr. <Babe.>"

Ulrick gave a pouty grumble. "I'm just saying. One's a little more miraculous, is all."

Sett pulled Ulrick's head into his chest and stroked his hair. "GrrrRrrrRrrr. <Shh, I know, dude, I know.>" His heavy, soaked clothes and lack of body heat didn't chill Ulrick as much as they should have, and though a fine coating of sand covering him from head to toe gritted against Ulrick's cheek, it only made Ulrick rub his face in rebelliously.

"Okay," Ulrick said, resting his fists on Sett's chest and gazing up into his eyes. "What's the next activity? I think we’re... due-au for a luau?" The moment the words left his lips, his face collapsed into disgusted regret.

“Rgrrr... <Actually…>” Sett said, wrenching off his mask and shaking the excess water from his hair, teasing a blush out of Ulrick. “GgrrrRrrrr? <Doesn’t watching the stars by the lake sound pretty relaxing?>”

Ulrick grinned and took a seat on the shoreline, running his hands through the tufts of ryegrass stretching out in waves around him. He tapped a spot to his right and Sett, half-cocked smile in tow, came lumbering over to take it.

Hours flurried past, changing nothing about the image of the intimately silent pair but the number of stark white pinpricks in the sky they beheld.

They threatened to sit silently basking in each other forever.

And then Sett said, “GRrrrrgrrr, rrgrrr, graargrr. <So, Diane and Jen gave me their number, and they want to plan an outing.>”

Unease shot through Ulrick’s veins, but he held his tongue in search of the correct words. “O-oh?”

“Grrr? Rrgrrrrr. <Isn’t that cool? People want to spend time with us,>” said Sett, ensorcelled with the twinkle of every new star. “Rrrrr. <With me.>”

“That might be…” began Ulrick, before noticing the glimmer in Sett’s eyes and faint lift at the corners of his mouth as he stared up towards a great unknown. He sighed. “It’s going to be great.”

Sett rested his hand on Ulrick’s, their fingers interlocking. He smiled, and the two gazed into an ever-darkening firmament, speckled with a thousand stars and a thousand futures.

#A Necromancer & His Zombie Boyfriend #short stories #supernatural #mlm #wlw #queer #series #A Necromance #original #fiction

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getyourvitamin-bri · 7 years ago

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Super-Mega-Foxy-Awesome-Hot Klance Fic Recs!

One-Shots

Sweet Quiznak - CheckeredCloth Read if your into hurt/comfort and humor, an odd mix but this fic does it awesomely. Summary: "You're really into him," Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance's face is on fire. Hunk is killing him. "Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would've mowed his ass like grass. That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife." Rated Teen & Up

Love Bug Stuff - WhatTheBodyGraspsNot @whatthebodygraspsnot I’m such trash for Love Bug fics, this one in particular is stellar. Summary: Keith is bitten by an alien love bug that makes him fall in love with the first person he sees. And just guess who the heck that first person is? Rated M

Never Saw You Coming - dimpleforyourthoughts @dimpleforyourthoughts Read if you love angst, slow burn, mutual pinning, and hurt/comfort aka read if you love being put through all the feels :) Summary: Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story. Rated M

nothing’s quite as sweet - dimpleforyourthoughts There is cute cats and cute klance, need I say more? Summary: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. Rated Teen & Up

Muy Lindo - flipfloppandas - I’m trash for shy adorable keith and this fic delivered. Summary: In which Lance must learn how to navigate through a relationship with a Keith who is surprisingly shy, but it’s okay because Lance honestly freaking loves it. Not Rated.

implosion (the lines we cross) - pidgeotto_gunderson Some well written hard core angst if your up for it. Summary: The adrenaline is pumping through his veins - this is what he needs, what they both need. To yell and scream and hurt each other before they can mend.Fix-it fic for s7e6, imagining if Lance and Keith fought things out while they were all lost in space and it led to Lance finally spilling about his insecurities. Rated Teen & Up

Crest of White, Bow Down - 2towels @2towels I totally went “awwww” while reading this fic, its so adorable, it will definitely make you smile. Summary: “I don’t know what I need to do to prove to you that I haven’t thought about leaving, but I haven’t.”Without hesitating, Lance lifted his good hand to rest on Keith’s cheek and stroked his thumb across it, silently appreciating his pouty features as he swallowed. “Tell me every day you love me more,” He finally demanded dramatically and breathlessly, flitting his gaze down to Keith’s shoulders instead of the intensity of his eyes, “maybe that would work.”“That wouldn’t even be a challenge.” Keith said quietly.--Five times Lance is swept off his feet, and one time he falls. Rated Teen & Up

Kodachrome - HoddieMaine @joinmeinthishell , Ninke_A @collector-of-hats Wow this is such a beautiful story, its really well written, read if you love pinning and fluff. Summary: Keith has been at a loss for a while now. His job is terrible, his passion for photography has waned, and his pseudo brother has moved to some little town and keeps insisting he visit.When Keith finally does go, he ends up on a little street full of quaint shops. He intends to simply spend time with Shiro but ends up in a record store across the street. With a very attractive man, who signs instead of speaks. Rated E

Thinking ‘Bout You - BleuSarcelle @bleusarcelle, Queerklancing @queerklancing I got a cavity from the fluff in this fic :) Summary: That time Keith had a voice in his head singing and found out he had a quite unique soulmate link. Rated G

Rose-Colored Boy - melancholymango @melancholymango Read if you enjoy angsty lance, langst, & to experience all the feels. Summary: “I missed you, you know.”“Yeah?” Lance sighed, warm and giddy, clearly not absorbing how serious the words truly were. “Yeah.” Keith said, more certainty in his voice now. He reached down, hesitantly threading his fingers through Lance’s and giving his hand a squeeze. Lance tensed next to him. “I still do.”“I mean, I’m right here.”“Are you? You still seem pretty far away.” Rated Teen & Up

Blue Christmas - melancholymango I loved how keith and lance were written in this fic, its just overall super well written. Summary: The team decides to celebrate the holiday season in space as nostalgia gets the better of them, but reflecting on the past hurts Lance more than it helps and Keith doesn't have any memories to reflect on. AKA the one where Keith and Lance hate the holidays together, only to realize that they were actually celebrating all along in their own Keith and Lance way. Rated G

Multi-chapter

Not That Bad - varelsen @lvtvr Yeah this fic gave me lot of feelings, their relationship builds beautifully. Summay: “Am I really going to have to explain this to you?”“No, I’m totally fine with you shutting up right about now.” Hunk cups his hands around his mouth. “You. Are crushing. On Keith.” Or, a college AU featuring coffee shops, silly rivalries, motorcycles, arcade games, friendships, and lots of warm, fluffy feelings that are both confusing and delightful all at the same time. Rated M

Entangled - Purpleneutrino (mackerelmademedoit) @purpleneutrino I found this fic super interesting to read, and literally could not put it down. Summary: When Keith found himself mentally linked to Lance of all people, he never thought that it would end in anything but irritation and misery on both sides. He certainly never imagined that it would be a useful asset in team Voltron's fight against the Galra Empire. Now if he can just keep his feelings in check, they might actually have a chance at defeating Zarkon. Needless to say, when he'd wished for a 'bonding moment' with Lance, this wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind. Rated M

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here - klancekorner @dimplesandcurlsss Yeah I stayed up till 4am reading this and it was glorious, I finished at 3am and just thought about it for another hour, so awesome! Summary: Lance and Keith have been best friends since first grade. Lance’s brain is always on overdrive and Keith’s blunt, realistic ass can never keep up. They both come to realize that sometimes you can learn a lot about loving yourself by loving someone else. Rated M

Something just like this - klancekorner A summer romance sundae with a friends to lovers cherry on top. Summary: Keith reluctantly becomes the counselor for the Red Cabin at Camp Voltron, a summer camp in the middle of buttfuck nowhere that his older brother Shiro has worked at for years. Already unhappy with the current position that he is in, Keith prepares himself for a boring, sweaty, miserable summer; and his frustration only grows when he meets the counselor for the Blue Cabin Rated M

You and I Collide - idratherhaveyou @itsthegameilike If you looked up cute in the dictionary, this modern apartment au would be the definition. Summary: Lance likes to sing in the shower. Keith lives in the apartment next door and the walls are not very thick. And you can bet when Lance wakes him up at 7:30 in the morning, Keith has something to say about it. Rated M

I’ve Got You - DragonofFernweh @dragonastral Keith comforting lance is my aesthetic, this fic is my aesthetic. Summary: Keith isn’t great at the whole comfort thing, he doesn’t have a way with words, nor does he have much experience in way of affection. Still, when Lance hurts, Keith wants to do something to help. Otherwise known as; five times Keith comforts Lance, and one time Lance comforts Keith. Rated G

it’s easier for you to let me go - welcometothehumanrace Should be called 6 times I went AAJKSCNSKDCNSJ because of how fluffin’ cute keith and lance are. Summary: Keith did not think Lance's arms were anything to get excited about. Or his shoulders. Or any general part of him. Just everything about him was unexciting as a whole.Obviously. Or 5 times Lance put his arms around Keith and the one time Keith really wanted him to. Rated Teen & Up

The Message - shipstiel @shipstiel-writes Wow this wrong number fic is just glorious, I laughed, I went “awwwww”, I just had such a good time reading this. Summary: Keith is texted by accident by some idiot one day, and honestly he's not even sure why he responds. Or why he keeps responding. Yet somehow he finds himself drawn in, and okay, so maybe this fool is mildly entertaining after all. Who would've thought. Rated Teen & Up

Homesick at Space Camp - K0bot @k0tron So awesome...just a fucking great fic. Its got fake relationship/married, its got angst, its got ballroom dancing, its got so much fluff, do I need to say any more? Summary: Lance realizes he's been an asshole to Keith, and on a diplomatic mission to a key planet for the Voltron alliance he... overcompensates.

Fake It Till You Make It - nikkiRA @aravenlikeawritingdesk I’m a sucker for Fake/Pretend Relationship fics and this one is the fic that started that particular habit. Summary: “What Keith here means to say,” Lance says, and although his voice is steady, he is gripping Keith’s fingers so tightly it’s painful. “Is that we can’t mate with your people, although we, um, appreciate the offer, because, well. We already are. M-mated, I mean. With, you know. Each other.” Rated M

I hope you love these fics as much as I did, they are some of my fav fics of all time. It took me forever to finish this post because I sorta, kinda, maybe, totally re-read a lot of them while making it :) Shout out to fanfiction writers, thank you for putting so much of your time into these stories for free, your all amazing!

Check out my blog if you would like >>> @getyourvitamin-bri

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sidpah · 6 years ago

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Self-Portrait

I’m too late, ‘cause I’ve already given it all away… I would have you see a different man than the one who types in a foreign land touched by the meddling hands of a dozen different peoples, not looking to trade their culture’s wisdom but to strip the land of all that was of value… I’m as exhausted as these trampled streets, these thrashed jungles infested with foreign soldiers protecting their investments of ruby mines and narcotic crops… These filthy marketplaces mirroring the worst of the west… I feel this land’s pain, sweaty, asshole on fire from weapons-grade curry… Feet bare and stained black from disintegrating sandal felt smelling vaguely of stale vinegar…

One worn mala on left wrist strung from a seed whose name I’m too tired to recall... Night steals precious chemicals of communication… Ramakrishna? Ramirez? Rudraksha! Seeds are homage to a rival deity, Shiva. But he can’t be my rival because I’m a loner, no member of a team. I have no church, no faith, no dogmatic practice…

There are no gods left in Sidpah… they’ve all been driven into the sea… In their place is an amorphous web of beliefs constantly respun to create fresh, deceptively vibrant yet undeniably asymmetrical patterns… Sneezing. Spittle web strung from this bulldog face.

This is not how I would have you envision me. Not ten pounds overweight. Or twenty. Not greasy-scalped and hairy-shouldered. Not in boxers three days worn. Not with fresh semen dripping down inside of chaffed leg. Not delirious or deliriously lonely. Not a fermented berry of a man… Not wrung like a wrong number or my hands on a too-hot, two-handjob sleepless night of grey panel torture and anxiety whispers from the dark hollow faces cursing my room... There’s hardly a man to be seen. Sure, there’re fingers and hormones and tree sprouts of white matter, but this vacancy is my truest fingerprint…

Maybe I’m a long way from knowing anything of value – Maybe all these garish visions are only detours – Mara’s little tricks to keep me from realizing that he doesn’t even exist – From realizing how content I could remain, entwined in vines running tree cloud to packed sod – Kusa grass and prayers are sustenance – Filled with admiration for the holy, I feel lazy and defective. Unable to live up to my own nobility –

Body’s a common machine with subtly varied proclivities – This unit spins on tales of letters and adjectives – faulty electronics, broken strings, healed strangers expecting repetitious miracles… It refuses to sit on cushion for more than a few minutes of banal torture –

Who can I lie to but myself? I’m a bear born in the year of the horse who would rather be a bird cutting the sky over a tropical island free and clear. A bachelor, tried, tested and confirmed – Allow yourself to be there – The backs of my hands look offensively large and rough under this light. They’ll sink like a stone. Shatter a keyboard or a cheekbone. Split a vein down the middle. Play an ugly one-stringed melody. Too rarely thumb bodhi seed mala and chant for purity. Too rarely fold into mudra for health or circulation of prana. Never stroke her cheek, or twist knots in her auric hair, or slip surreptitiously beneath silk blouse... They’re always rough sand mortar and burlap, unwieldy bricks in a room of June bugs. And they are but one-twentieth of the whole… Our best features are sometimes the most ungainly –

Nothing can make you feel more self-conscious than an unsolicited portrait. Well here is my self-portrait whether I like it or not: My bones have turned russet from sweat and oil. Tanned skin is painted to walls in gobs of brown and red… Tribal tattoos – Whose tribe are they? Hoary old stalactites… I’m all moles and telengiectasia – Red spots threaten bloodletting – Black dots threaten melanoma – Porous brown bones contemplate fractures deprived of nutrients or forced upon by physical labor – Brain lies in wait for AVM to seize its chance – Colon responds same spastic way to grease, parasite or imaginary humiliation – Eyes grow longer causing me to see things closer and closer – Hair follicles poisoned by drugs, recreationally pharmaceutical, or maybe genetics, give up their will to push – Gums infected ruby red rather than healthy coral, so says dentist. Veins are thick with stony plaque – Torso (most dangerous place) thick with roll of collected fat – Heart overworked and underpaid – Adrenal glands jacked up, depleted, now wilted and suffering, unable to respond with proper chemical dialogue – Convenient codified diagrams of peptide sound – Sinuses full and swollen shut, fine steroid mist unable to penetrate packed cavity – Lungs full of soot and yellow phlegm –

Every cell now thriving, still dying – Skin losing elasticity – Will losing control over mind – Erection still works, though one testicle aches like it’s being tapped continually by a tiny spoon – Mandible muscles tight, jaw crunches clicks, teeth grind with stress or over-taught concentration watching repetitions of breath – Blood cells becoming ineffectual against infection – Antibodies awaiting a battle they will eventually lose – Thus far, all wars have been successfully fought – winning streaks can’t last forever – And still I manage to sit and laugh – this trivial life away –

I’m a fictional beast, leaden of feet and shaggy of back. Reptilian face and beady squint eyes size up each flickering movement for a taste of prey I pray never to taste. A pitiful mirror painted on fat chest reflects the vulgarities of the external world, ignoring the vulgar black tain of my own soul...

Disbelief in my own soul reflects the myopia of others that I live to destroy, condemning them to feel equally base – And I grin knowingly, all the while knowing nothing...

Fixating on microscopic sensation of flesh, the intangible workings of my own conscious thoughts… I dwell until they are their own universes, fashioning civilizations of bigotry, torture and carcinogens. I can see clearly with distaste every vile behavior yet reenact, reenact, justify and reenact them all until I swoon from degradation, frustration, stupidity and self-pity...

I can never be a martyr because I lack a cause. Mild disinterest, no more acerbic than a warm glass of soymilk. I’m neither political nor spiritual. Not even secular because I don’t believe in distinctions. I’m a realist who finds all phenomena to be thoroughly unreal... I will leave nearly all stones unturned and all books unread. The meager knowledge accumulated in my lifetime just so many dusty trinkets in a collapsing display case. One leg bound to give out and destroy the few items of relative value buried within... Whose gain? Whose loss? I’m a beggar for salvation. But I’m too proud to take a teacher’s charity... Lift my head to the warm eclipse of Sunrays, devastating in their splendor… And degraded I sigh, sheepishly grin, and turn away where my mind fondles something or someone else, distracting itself from the fact that I will never be attractive to society…

I’m a rare beast. I know what I want and also why I shouldn’t want it. It doesn’t curtail the cravings, but it makes me feel guilty and ridiculous for desiring them in light of this knowledge… Like lusting for a hammer when you have to drive a screw into the wall. Like lusting for a screwdriver when you have no walls or screws. I’m an unfortified mess…

What is a mess? These parts are not this man. There’s no man, but a mash of aggregates held in six-foot net – And these parts are not eternal. They are already replaced! Even this outer shell replaced every twenty-eight days! These transient parts are not even these parts! They are particles of energy with no essence to be ashamed of!

My atoms are shinier than your atoms! My electrons are faster than your electrons! My protons look better in a bikini! My neutrons have reached higher states of meditative bliss!

My anger is crimson and molten as your anger. My love as passionate and fleeting as your love, and my wisdom as deep and true as your wisdom. It’s only our learning, stilted and prejudiced that keeps us from knowing this. That keeps me from knowing that I am not these emotions. I am not these colors, melanin, blood, bile, iron…

I am not this face or hands or organs, not this beard, or these callused soles. I am not a brain running strings of 0s and 1s. I am not recollections of old escapades, not every movie watched or novel read with this body placed in role of protagonist – I am not a list of preferreds, a list of don’t-likes, a list of aspirations, a list of disappointments to be avenged, or sulked upon each day to keep their memories alive – flowers on their headstones… I am not the photograph friends, family, acquaintances carry in their tattered wallets – The image they try to bind me to expecting a scripted response to their own erratic behaviors… Unaware that they are not they as much as I am not I. And I am not an I – I am a We, I am an Us, I am a No! I am a Bah! I am infinitely manageable, malleable, fallible…

My mistakes are empty as all the things I ever got right and then wished like hell I hadn’t... All the battles I ever thought I won. All the dreams I ever woke from disappointed to be awake... Cravings repressed until the cauldron boiled over, and I binged night and day until the urges were sated –(Mara kicked back with a cigar and a smug grin…) All the technology I bought then broke, couldn’t find a use for, discarded or lost on dusty shelves in a cluttered basement – All those times I was inches from death, and relieved, died anyway, unbeknownst to this pathological brain – It can’t comprehend that I’ve already perished, that I’m eternally here, already in my final and only and everlasting incarnation as a sublime manifestation of life eternally creating itself – But if it can’t comprehend it, how was it thought, considered, written, embraced, known? I am more than any of us will ever understand. And maybe this is all there is to know –

#self portrait #fiction #memoir #poetry #spirituality #Buddhism #Atheism #philosophy #enlightenment #epiphany

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witandwicca · 7 years ago

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The Untold Witch by Keith Waldrop, part 2

Part 2: She Dreams, She Dreams, She Dreams

Bradley Home; Ellis, Iowa

The sun beats down on the backs of our necks as I watch my Dad toil away at yet another day trying to build my swingset. A song with a heavy drumbeat plays on the radio and though I’m not really listening, lost in the pages of yet another fantasy novel, I kick my heels into the ground to the beat.

Dad’s not a handyman. Not with wood, not with any sort of instructions or the insistent guidance of the woodworking man from Home Depot. Give him a broken car engine and he’ll have it fixed in a heartbeat but he’s been complaining about splinters for the last few days. But the sheer fact that he wanted to do this for me means the world to me--struggles and all, so here I sit in my neon-coated plastic hell while he suffers--anything to spend time with him.

The dog days of summer.

“Gwennie! C’mere!” Dad calls out to me. I look up to watch the sweat pour down his face. He looks like a bucket’s been dumped on him, but I doubt he smells anything less than like a salty sewer.

I hop up from my bright pink nylon chair, book abandoned on the overgrown grass, and run towards him. “Coming!”

“Where’re your shoes?” he asks, a slight frown on his face. “I don’t want you stepping on a nail.”

“I don’t like them. I wanna feel the grass.”

He pushes up his glasses for the umpteenth time but the sweat just makes them slide back down to the edge of his nose. From the bottom of his ladder, I stand on my tiptoes and push them back up.

“I need you to hold these nails while I hammer them in.”

He doesn’t need me to hold them. Not really. He wants me to because he wants me to be a part of the process--the experience. It’s sweet of him, so I nod and cup my sweaty hands as he drops a heap of nails into my palms. They’re rusted, bent and broken in some places. I give them a wary look. But he’s my Dad, and he’s never wrong about anything.

So I simply hold them and look up to the boiling sun, watching the shadow of my Dad as he leans over the frame of the swingset. He’s building it for me. I don’t want to seem ungrateful.

“Nail, Gwennie?”

I pluck the one that looks the least bent, even though the flat head is broken and I can’t really tell which side is supposed to go into the wood. Hesitantly I offer it to him with a smile.

“Maybe we should go back to the store and get better ones…”

Dad shakes his head and laughs. Over back by my chair, the same song continues to play on repeat.

“These are just fine.” His voice, calm and reassuring, doesn’t calm or reassure me. But he takes the nail from me and, with a single swing of intent, hammers the nail into the wood.

“AGH!”

I collapse as a sudden pain blooms across my wrist, staining my vision with a light brighter than the sun overhead.

“Careful now, Gwen. I don’t want you to lose the nails in the grass with your bare feet.”

But it’s too late. I’ve already dropped the nails, forgotten in the long, uncut summer grass as I clutch my aching hand with a child’s might of painful desperation. Red wells up over my small fingertips, pushing and pulsing forward until it crests and begins to run down my forearm in thick rivulets.

The foreign smell of copious blood fills my nostrils and I try not to gag. Coupled with the rusted iron of the nails, it makes me want to throw up my lunch of macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up inside of it.

I hold up my wounded hand, salted tears making it hard for me to open my eyes.

“Dad! Look!” I cry out, waiting for him to rush down from the ladder to help me.

That’s the thing about my Dad. He’s always been reliable in times of crisis. From small knee-scrapes to the Broken Leg of 2009, he’s never failed to be there.

He’s never failed to be there when I need him most--except for now.

But as I look up at him, the sun glaring in my eyes and obscuring his face from me--turning him into some strange, dark creature whose face I can’t see but with humanoid proportions at the very least?--he’s still hammering away at the swingset.

“Dad, I’m bleeding!” I shout with insistence, little teeth gritting in my little skull, and thrust up my hand further to insist he notice my injury.

“We’ve just got a few more nails, Gwen. Just a few more.”

I shake my head in disbelief. He’s like a man possessed. I’ve never wanted a swingset this badly. Not badly enough to ignore me in pain. Badly enough that he won’t come down from the ladder and hug me and kiss it better and bring me inside so we can put some of that stupid burning neosporin on it and wrap it up in seven bandaids because as much as he gets hurt on the job, every silly piece of medican kit in the house has always been for me.

I don’t know what caused his wound. It felt like when he hammered into the wood he was hammering into me. Like it was my wrist he grasped with all of his might and struck the nail into. Just the fist blow--none after--but the pain was more than any child should ever have to bear. And being ignored after? Too much--too much--too much.

“Dad…”

The tears fall hot down my cheeks and I take a step back.

Pain shoots through my foot, a signal that winds its way from my heel all the way up through my leg and somewhere around my heart. I cry out and look down to see all of the stupid, crooked, rusted nails sticking straight up in the grass, just waiting for me to fall onto them.

“Sonuvabitch!” I curse, and hop on one leg as my bloody hand grasps for my bloody foot.

Something’s wrong.

My dad won’t stop hammering away. The sun won’t stop beating down. My skin won’t stop bleeding. And no one’s yelling at me for cussing.

The nails in the grass look up at me like wicked little snakes with rusted little fangs. Come step on us, they say, come give us a taste. I can’t tell if their voice is in my pained imagination or if they’re really whispering to me, but if feels so real that I suddenly want to hurl up my lunch and collapse to the ground. But I know that if I do, no matter where I fall the nails will be waiting to taste and lick up more of my blood and poke more holes in me.

“I don’t want to give you anything! Leave me alone! Leave me ALONE!” I scream, and, Dad and the stupid swingset forgotten, I bolt on my pained limbs towards the house. I’ll be safe in there.

I’ll be safe in the house.

I pass the radio, playing the same drumming song--now with lyrics.

“Give us the blood we are owed. Your blood is ours. You can’t hold what we own. You are our property.”

“That doesn’t even rhyme!” I scream at the radio, and push it into the grass as I yank open the screen door and slam the glass shut behind me.

The house, despite having what should be open windows filled with the midday Iowan sun, with blasting air conditioning and the smell of that stupid air freshener Dad thought would make the place smell less like gasoline from working in the garage if we ever had the guests we never did, ISN’T.

It’s hot, muggy, and pitch black. A strange smell, like something burning, fills my nose, and immediately I’m filled with such a carnal, visceral fear that I’d rather be punctured by a thousand rusty nails outside in the tall green grass.

But when I turn to open the glass door, it doesn’t exist.

Nothing exists, nothing but the blackness.

Even when I close my eyes and mutter under my breath, “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home,” and tap grass-stained, bloody heels together, the unnamed colors behind my eyelids aren’t as dark as the black before me. Not that I expected the damned Wizard of Oz to do anything. Oz is made of a dream, and this place is the stuff of nightmares.

Eventually my eyes acclimate to the darkness and I see a slight shadow before me--something long and rectangular moving downwards.

Stairs.

“I’ve seen every horror movie!” I shout out to the black, and my voice seems to go on forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever… and ever……. and ever…..

“I’m not going down those stairs!”

So in my fully rational, albeit childish, defiance, I sit on the dark ground in the darkness.

It feels like concrete, but concrete isn’t supposed to be warm. A defining feature of concrete is that it is always cold, and no matter how many layers of socks you wear, or how many blankets you have wrapped up on you, you’re never cold in a room with a concrete floor. I would know--Susan Joybee has a basement with a concrete floor.

But this concrete feels warm. Like someone put a dozen space heaters on it and let them sit for hours and hours. It’s the temperature of my skin--and makes me feel like the floor isn’t even there. But I sit, and hold my still-bleeding wrist and my still-bleeding foot, and wait.

Because by the laws of horror-movies and Goosebumps, there is no way I’m going down those stairs. Not ever, not ever, not ever.

Until not ever becomes passing time that, to my child-self, feels like hours. Maybe days. Sometimes I look behind me just hoping for the glass door to my backyard to come back, but it never does. Eventually I stop looking because the false hope it somehow worse than the little bit of light that hope might give me. I don’t know how long I sit in the darkness, the concrete pulsating its warmth onto me as if to remind me that I’m somehow not alone.

And all the while I know that there’s that staircase leading down into the depths of wherever I am. And the more time that passes, the more interesting it looks. The more I feel that itch in my chest that wants to go explore--the same itch that’s no doubt led to the exploration of things like the New World, or the attempted discovery of the Fountain of Youth. I feel my legs shift like I’m going to stand up... And then I remember Goosebumps, and I sit my little ass back down.

Until the urge to move again comes over me.

Each time I shift a little more, move my legs a little more, inch a little bit closer to that staircase. But I know that’s what it wants and that bugs me more than anything else. Even in this deafening silence and this deafening darkness, which is starting to get… deafeningly comfortable… I don’t feel safe, not one bit.

“I know you want me to go down those stairs,” I speak out loud, the first sound in ages, and my voice croaks when I speak. It feels like I haven’t had water in days, but my wrist and my foot are still bleeding so it can’t have been that long. I wipe a tear from my cheek and feel blood smear across it. I try not to think about it. “But there’s gonna be an axe murderer down there, or something, so I’m not going. I’ve seen ‘Scream,’ and ‘Nightmare on Elm Street,’ yeah, even the shitty sequels. And I know what happens when the little girl does down the creepy stairs!”

My protests echo, but are met with silence. For some reason that irritates me more than if I were to get a response from the air around me, or the rock below me, or even the steps themselves. It’s just me, so I’m going to talk my own ear off.

“Okay, fine!” I cross my arms petulantly over my chest and try not to hiss at the sting of my wound on my shirt. “What if I do go down there, huh? Are you gonna show me my worst fear? Because I got over the monster under my bed last year. And I ain’t afraid of bugs, or Keith Blair who tried to push me into the swingset pole. So there’s not much down there you can scare me with.”

I raise my eyebrows as I look around, but as I suspected the darkness has nothing to say.

“So the worst thing you can do is try to kill me. But I’m a scrapper, everyone on the playground says so. I’ll put up a fight don’t you dare think I won’t. Lil bitch…”

I mutter that last part under my breath. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sitting here on my own for who knows how long, but irritation is starting to creep in. I want to wrap up my injuries. I want to get something to drink. But most of all I want to get back to my Dad and figure out what’s the matter with him because whatever is going on… none of this is normal.

He’s not here for me, and he promised to always be here for me.

“Maybe I’ll go down there just to show you who you’re messing with! Because you pissed off the wrong girl, buddy!”

And, I think without saying it aloud, all stories must progress at some point. No one in Goosebumps simply ended the book by sitting still on the couch or ignoring the sounds coming from the basement. It’s the stupid move, but someone has to do it.

With a deep inhale I finally stand, feeling the pinpricks of sleepy-limbs travel all down my legs, and slick blood try to slip me underneath my injured heel. But I steel myself, biting my lower lip, and clutch my little fists at my side.

“You want a fight? Fine! I’ll give you a fight. I’ll go down there and claw out your eyeballs and feed them to my neighbors dogs! And when I’m done, ohhhh you’re one sorry sonuvabitch, I’ve been reading murder mysteries all my life you dumb fuck. If you don’t think I know how to hide a body and that my Dad won’t help me, you’ve got another thing coming!”

Finally, finally, I take a step forward, and the first step of the stairs creaks.

The wood is old, old like the smell of mothballs is just a part of it. And with every step I take downward my blood becomes a part of that smell. As dust kicks up it tickles my nose, but I keep in the need to sneeze like my life depends on it.

Maybe it does.

I feel a hand take hold of mine. A familiar hand, a hand that should’ve been there this whole time and since it hasn’t I’m actually kind of mad at it. I had to learn to do this all on my own and now it decides to be here? No, no he can go away.

“Go away, Dad.” I say aloud, but the hand doesn’t let go.

“Her pulse is responding to your touch, Mister Bradley. She knows you’re here.”

“Oh thank God. Gwen? Gwennie? Can you hear me? It’s Dad. I’m here, kiddo.”

My brow ticks in agitation and I try to pull my hand away, but he holds on tighter even as I continue to descend the stairs.

“I said go away! I can handle this on my own!” I turn to where he should be, but there’s only the stair rail and more darkness. It doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense. “You weren’t here so I learned to do it on my own now go away!”

“We haven’t seen this much reactivity in months. This is promising.”

“R-Really?”

“No! STOP!”

On instinct I take off down the stairs. My heel screeches in pain--or maybe that’s me I can’t even tell anymore--but I try to run, run, run as fast as I can. But Dad’s hand feels tighter than before. Stronger. Solid.

“I want to fight whatever’s down there!”

“Doctor Lee! Someone get Doctor Lee--She’s waking up! Sir--Mister Bradley, we need you to leave the room, please, now.”

I feel Dad’s hand release from mine and begin to run faster, feeling free from his restriction, free to pursue my enemy.

“What, wait, no! No I’m not gonna leave her!”

“Mister Bradley, I promise you can see her later--DOCTOR LEE!”

“Finefine--who are you? So I can find you?!”

I keep running, ignoring the voices in my head, ignoring how the darkness looks less dark than it did before. How the rickety wooden stairs seem less rickety. I’m going to face whatever sick axe murderer put me in that darkness and I’m going to face him now because no one is going to stop me!

“Come out of hiding so I can kill you!” Screaming until my throat is hoarse, until my lips are chapped, tripping over every other unrefined wooden step as fast as my little legs will carry me, despite all of the cold hands I suddenly feel grasping onto me, trying to pull me out of the darkness.

“NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“She’s waking up! Gwen, can you hear me Gwen?”

“Mister Bradley you need to leave--”

“Who are you so I can find you?!”

“My name is Nurse Lamotte, now please leave.”

“Gwen, can you hear me? My name is Doctor Lee--”

It’s with unceremonial grace that I trip and fall the final dozen steps at the base of the stairs. The concrete is just as hot as it was at the top, but here the darkness is somehow lighter--or I can somehow see better. My palms and knees sting with the collision of my fall but I scramble up against the pain, wiping dripping blood on my clothes as I look around me, fists ready, teeth gnashed and bared.

“Come on!” Comes my voice, an unwavering child’s cry as I whip my head this way and that, seeking my captor and foe. This is My Hour, My Moment. I struggle against the invisible hands that try to yank me back towards the top of the steps. “Come at me! Fight me already!”

But nothing comes to fight.

Instead, all of the voices in my head stop in one blissful moment of silence. No voices, no hands, no urgency. There’s no burning on my palms and knees, no blood on my heel and wrist. No pounding headache that I hadn’t even noticed was there.

Instead of a young child--unafraid, I stand there as a grown woman, shaking in my very bones.

Fear is something I have lived with for the last year. I’ve been afraid of the woman who knew my past, my present, and my future just with a touch. I’ve been afraid of the tumor growing in my head and what it would eventually take from me and the people I loved. And I’ve been afraid of myself--what I’ve been doing to myself as a result of… everything.

I let out a shaky exhale, looking down to see trembling fingertips outlined in the darkness. Before I can do anything, a pair of hands, soft and kind, reaches out to take my hands in their own. The warmth and gentleness of them breaks every bone in my body. I’ve never seen or touched these hands in person, yet somehow I know whose they are without being able to see the face that they belong to, obscured by the shadow that taunted me up above.

My voice comes out of a grown woman’s lips still so child-like and afraid.

“Mom?”

My eyes open to a flashlight shining in my pupils, and the smiling face of a man I don’t know.

“She’s with us, she’s with us…” He repeats, and all around me men and women move, adjusting hospital bags and computer monitors that beep with my vitals.

“Do you know who you are?” the man asks, and I nod.

“Gwen… Gwen--dolyn Rowe.”

The man I presume is the doctor nods firmly, and beside him a portly woman takes down notes on a clipboard.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Miss Rowe?” the doctor asks again, and I sigh, closing my eyes.

I felt my mom, I want to say, but I don’t.

“I was in a bar. I got… into a fight. He pushed me. I hit my… my head…?”

“That’s right. You’re lucky, Miss Rowe. Very lucky.”

“I don’t feel lucky.”

The nurse beside him clears her throat, looking at me with strange eyes as she speaks.

“Why don’t we let Miss Rowe get some rest, Doctor Lee,” she says lowly, “let her recuperate before her Father comes in.”

I try to sit up, but someone to my left I can’t see pushes me back down. “My Dad’s here?”

The nurse smiles and nods.

“Yes, flew in today. He’s grabbing a coffee now, we’ll let him know when you can have visitors.”

For a moment, the room is silent as the nurse and I look one another in the eye. Finally I give her a curt nod.

“Thanks, Nurse Lamotte.” I mumble.

Lamotte raises one perfectly-drawn brow, and a smirk curls on her lips.

“No trouble, Gwen, no trouble at all.”

#series: the untold witch #tuw: she dreams she dreams she dreams #solo

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allcheatscodes · 8 years ago

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animal crossing city folk wii

http://allcheatscodes.com/animal-crossing-city-folk-wii/

animal crossing city folk wii

Animal Crossing: City Folk cheats & more for Wii (Wii)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Animal Crossing: City Folk cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for Wii (Wii). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the Wii cheats we have available for Animal Crossing: City Folk.

Genre: Simulation, Pets

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

ESRB Rating: Everyone

Release Date: November 3, 2008

Hints

Growing New Fruits

Same as sending out fruit to get furniture, send out a letter to all the characters in your town and attach a shell to each one. Some of them will send you back close but a few will send you fruit that does not grow in your town. To get the new fruit to grow you have to chop down a fruit tree already growing in your town and use your shovel to remove the stump, in the hole where you remove the stump place the new fruit, bury and water the sapling and the new fruit tree will grow in the place of the already existing fruit in your town.

Cross Breeding Flowers

Plant three kinds of flowers in a box shape (example: Tulips, daisies, roses) different colors or the same, water all three flowers for at least 1-2 days, in the empty spot, eventually you’ll have a new color of flowers .

Jingle The Reindeer

On the night of dec. 24 after 8:00 a deer named jingle will be there to deliver presents. You can get the jingle set from him but its kinda hard. Jingle hides in houses and all over your town. He only goes in houses that have the lights off and he doesnt go in your house. When you find him he will ask you 2 questions to determine what kind of furniture you will get.

jingle set:jingle bedjingle chairjingle tablejingle pianojingle clockjingle carpetjingle walljingle sofajingle wardrobejingle dresser

This furniture is really expensive 12, 450 for every piece. He goes away at 1:00 am so thats alot of furniture. I made like 300k bells just that night. So go and do it, but. IT GETS REALLY HARD AND IRRITATING. But worth it.

Bank Deposit Prizes

Deposit the amounts of money listed below into the in-game bank to unlock the corresponding feature.

10,000 Bell Deposit - Shopping Card 100,000 Bell Deposit - Box of Tissues VIP Status (Huge Deposit) - Gold Card

How To Get Big Bells On Halloween! (without Needing Candy)

First change the date to Halloween (October 31st). Then empty out your pockets, go to Tom Nook and buy 16 packs of paper. Next go find the neighbor closest to Tom Nooks and they will talk to you. Say you don’t have any candy and they will get mad and turn your paper into Jack-o-lanterns. After, walk away from them until they are outside of your view. Go back and they will talk to you again, keep on doing this until all of your paper has been turned into jack-o-lanterns. Go back to Tom Nook and sell all of them for a grand total of 15,000 bells! Repeat this until you get tired.

Bug Money

You can get more then 100, 000 bucks on bugs that are on the coconut tree these bugs are Cyclommatus 8, 000 bills, Golden stag 12, 000 bills, Alas beetle 8, 000 bills, Elephant beetle 8,000 bills, Hercules beetle 12,000 bills, Goliath beetle 6, 000 bills. These are very rare though and you have to make a row of coconut trees (by the ocean) and go down the row for some time then you can fill your pockets with bugs and go home and put them down and go back. Hit they are out a lot at 11:00-12:50.

Money Tree!

First buy two shovels. Next find a nice spot to bury on of the two shovel, member where you buried the shovel, skip two days ahead and dig up the shovel you buried and it will be gold! Now you can make a money tree! First take out your golden shovel then get a money bag or a 100 bell token and bury it with your golden shovel then water it for two to four days and then BAM! Money tree when you shake money falls out of it.

Meet Wisp the Ghost

After 8PM, after the stores have closed, come outside and walk around until you hear a voice. It will give you some directions. Follow the directions, and you’ll see a ghost (he is always near water). The ghost is Wisp, and he will ask you to find his lamp, the Empty Lamp. You can sometimes find it early, but only on Mondays! If you’ve done all this, and can’t find Wisp, you can find him up in your attic. He will give you one of three great rewards: 1) Clear ALL weeds from your town (a great first step towards a “Perfect Town”), 2) Clear ALL cockroaches from your town, or 3) Get a random item.

How to Get Some Easy Money

Take a net get some bugs and then sell them. You can also take a fishing rod and cacth fish then sell them.

Paper Candy Mix-up

Advance to halloween (Oct 31) at 8:30 pm then you go to tom nooks store and buy as much paper as you want or that you already have you then find someone they say trick-or-treat and you say heres ur candy. Give them paper and then you have jack-in-the-box which you can sell for a lot more than just paper!

Find K.K. Slider!

Every Saturday at 10:00 pm, go to the roost in the museum and on stage you will see K. K . Slider!

5,000 Bells A Year

On your Birthday you mom sends you 5, 000 Bells, if you want to get rich just keep advancing to your birthday and go up a year and the money will be coming in by the thousands.

Gold Roses

Plant three red roses in a group, not a line, leaving an open space for new roses to grow. When black roses appear (they will look dark purple), water them for a couple of days. Then, let them dry out, turning brown. When you go to water them the same day they turn brown, use your watering can THREE times, placing the water right in the middle of roses. Next day, gold roses. I’ve only been able to do this when playing in the Spring and Summer, and I used my Gold Watering can. It doesn’t always work but I’ve been able to produce five gold roses!

Fishing For Money

Here is a list of fish that are worth a lot of bells.

Sweetfish - 900 BellsNeon Tetra - 500 BellsOcean Sunfish - 4, 000BellsGuppy - 1, 300BellsArowana- 10, 000BellsSea Butterfly- 1, 000BellsClownfish - 650 BellsPirahna - 2, 500BellsCatfish - 800 BellsSea Horse - 1, 100BellsRed Snapper - 3, 000BellsPopeyed Goldfish-1, 300BellsSurgeonfish - 1, 000Bells

Unlimited Paper From Nook

To get this unlimited paper you must be working for nook so what you do is this. When nook tells you to deliver the paper take it and then go outside and drop it on the ground and go back inside and ask for more he will give you as much paper you want all you do is repeat the steps, its that easy.

Free Things

If you find a genie lamp, keep it and one day at 3:00 am a ghost named wisp will appear. He will tell you 2 find a lamp (if you did not find one already). And then he will tell you 2 go in ur attic (the place with the bed and phone). When you r in ur attic take out the lamp and rub it, wisp will appear and ask you if you want to remove all the weeds, kill all the roaches in your house or give you a item that is very very very hard 2 find in any stores.

Shake Trees

Go around your town and shake all of your non-fruit bearing trees. One of four things will happen: 1)a coin (100 bells) will pop out 2) a spider will come down 3)a beehive with bees will fall down or 4)Nothing will happen. If you get the coin- pick it up, go into your pocket and put it in your wallet. If you get the spider- catch it with your net and sell it to Nook for 300 bells. If you miss the spider the first time, re-shake the tree. The spider will come down on the opposite side. If you get the beehive- you will get stung unless you run into the nearest house/building (the owner has to be in the house) before the bees catch you.

Silver Can

To get the Silver Can, go to Nook’s shop and buy all the flower seeds. Do this again for several days. Eventually, Nook will give you the Silver Can, which can heal wilted red turnips back to health!

All The City Folk

People who work in the City:

Harriet styles your hair for 3, 000 bells at Shampoodle.

Kicks shines your shoes for 500 bells on the steps.

Gracie owns Gracie’s and Labelle works there.

Lloid works at the action house.

Dr. Shrunk is a sweaty mess at the Marquee.

Lyle is depresing sometimes, but he works at the HRA.

Katrina is a cat who works in a fortune tent and tells your fortune for 100 bells.

Redd cheats you in a tent.

Sometimes you can see Mr. Resstii in the coned place a little after eight o, clock.

Easy Money

The first thing you do is grab your shovel and start hitting rocks until money comes out. Next, you go around and pick all the fruit off your trees. Then, go to your house and get all the furniture you don’t want. Last, go pick up all the seashells every half hour.

Empty Lamp

Sometimes, you will just be walking around town when, you spot a Genie Lamp. You may think there is a Genie inside, but its empty. I’m not sure what to do with it right now.

Money Trees

First, you’ll need a Golden Shovel. To get this, bury a spare shovel in the ground for a day and dig it up. With the Golden Shovel, you can bury money and it will grow into a tree. Shake this tree and moneybags will fall from it like fruit. You can bury an enormous amount of money by removing it from your wallet (up to 30, 000 Bells) and it will triple on the tree. Be sure to take care of the sapling, watering it and placing it away from other objects. In four days or so, it will become a full tree.

Golden Slingshot Tips

The present balloons that you can shoot down with your slingshot come every time the clock reads “5” in the second minute digit during the hours of 10 a. m . And 3 p. m . (10:05, 10:15, 10:25 etc. ) . That means there’s a total of 12 chances to hit a balloon every day.

The best vantage point is the northern side of you town. You can actually control the balloon with your running movement. You may not be able to spawn balloons if you haunt the northern area, so run up there when you see one. After hitting 8 balloons, one will randomly contain the Golden Slingshot, which fires 3 pellets.

Fossil Prices

Those dig spots around your burg may turn up fossils. You can be a philanthropist and donate them to the museum, or sell them to Tom Nook for cold, hard Bells. Here are the prices you’ll get from old Nook:

Amber – 1, 200 Bells

Ammonite – 1, 100 Bells

Coprolite – 1, 100 Bells

Dinosaur Track – 1, 000 Bells

Archaeopteryx – 1, 300 Bells

Pecking Man – 1, 100 Bells

Fern Fossil – 1, 000 Bells

Dinosaur Egg – 1, 400 Bells

Shark Tooth – 1, 000 Bells

Trilobite – 1, 300 Bells

T. Rex Tail – 5, 000 Bells

T. Rex Torso – 5, 500 Bells

T. Rex Skull – 6, 000 Bells

Tricera Tail – 4, 500 Bells

Tricera Torso – 5, 000 Bells

Tricera Skull – 5, 500 Bells

Mammoth Torso – 2, 500 Bells

Mammoth Skull – 3, 000 Bells

Ankylo Tail – 2, 500 Bells

Ankylo Torso – 3, 000 Bells

Ankylo Skull – 3, 500 Bells

Apato Tail – 4, 000 Bells

Apato Torso – 4, 500 Bells

Apato Skull – 5, 000 Bells

Dimetrodon Tail – 4, 500 Bells

Dimetrodon Torso – 5, 000 Bells

Dimetrodon Skull – 5, 500 Bells

Iguanodon Tail – 3, 000 Bells

Iguanodon Torso – 3, 500 Bells

Iguanodon Skull – 4, 000 Bells

Sabertooth Torso – 2, 000 Bells

Sabertooth Skull – 2, 500 Bells

Pachy Tail – 3, 000 Bells

Pachy Torso – 3, 500 Bells

Pachy Skull – 4, 000 Bells

Parasaur Tail – 2, 500 Bells

Parasaur Torso – 3, 000 Bells

Parasaur Skull – 3, 500 Bells

Seismo Tail – 4, 500 Bells

Seismo Hip – 4, 000 Bells

Seismo Chest – 4, 500 Bells

Seismo Skull – 5, 000 Bells

Plesio Torso – 4, 500 Bells

Plesio Neck – 4, 500 Bells

Plesio Skull – 4, 500 Bells

Stego Tail – 4, 000 Bells

Stego Torso – 4, 500 Bells

Stego Skull – 5, 000 Bells

Ptera Right Wing – 4, 500 Bells

Ptera Left Wing – 4, 500 Bells

Ptera Skull – 4, 000 Bells

Icthyo Torso – 2, 000 Bells

Icthyo Skull – 2, 500 Bells

Rapter Torso – 2, 500 Bells

Rapter Skull – 3, 000 Bells

Styraco Tail – 2, 500 Bells

Styraco Torso – 3, 000 Bells

Styraco Skull – 3, 500 Bells.

Late Summer Fishing

For massive amounts of money, consider going fishing in late July or early August around 7 at night. You’ll find some of the most expensive fish on those days at that specific time. They are listed below, along with their value.

Hammerhead – 8, 000 Bells

Napoleanfish – 10, 000 Bells

Red Snapper – 3, 000 Bells

Shark – 15, 000 Bells

Downgrade Tom Nooks Store

After Nook has upgraded his store to Nookington’s, he’ll occasionally ask you about it, about once a month. Your answers can cause him to revert the store to a previous model. Give the answers listed below for the desired store:

“Variety” – Nookington’s

“Balance” – Nookway

“Hours” – Nook ‘n’ Go

“Sorry, no” – Nook’s Cranny

No Bee Stings

Wear your WII mask and you won’t have the swollen bee look. You will still get stung but no one can tell.

Get the Lighthouse and Windmill

To get the lighthouse or windmill you have to donate 1,000,000 bells to the town fund (NOTE: you will get to vote for a windmill or lighthouse) If you are not happy with your decision, donate another 1,000,000 bells.

Play Hide-n-Seek!

Sometimes if you talk to a random animal, not one who wants to talk to you, they will want to play hide-n-seek. They will get two other animals to play with you. They will give you 10-15 minutes. Where you have to look for them is behind trees, signs, houses, and buildings. Look closely because they will poke there head from behind a tree. An easy way to see if they are behind the building is run directly along the building. They are never inside.

HRA Prizes

Score lots of points with the HRA and feng shui. They will reward you with these prizes:

70,000: house model

100,000: wide-house model

150, 00: two-story house model.

Lucky Items

The following items are very lucky in your house.

ArwingDrcaenaGarden GnomeIvy PianoJank in the boxLefty lucky catLovely phoneLucky black catLucky catLucky gold catMaster swordMusic boxPiggy bankRacoon figureSamurai suitTreasure chestTriforceWasher/Dryer

The Lost Key

Sometimes, an animal in your town will say that they lost their house key. Go to their house, and it will say that it is locked. Go fishing for a small fish. You will eventually catch a key. Give it to the animal, and you might get some Bells or a Gyroid.

Silver Slingshot

Nook rarely sells the Silver Slingshot after Nook Way expansion for 500 Bells. I got mine the 12th of Feb, so warp back to then!

Gyroids Keep Beat

If you place a Gyroid in your home and start some music, the Gyroids will keep the beat with the song. I think the best beat-keeping Gyroid is just the Tall Ombloid. Too bad you can only have 4 Gyroids on at a time.

Get Blathers to Say the Museum Is Better

To get Blathers to say that “the collection is coming along quite nicely” instead of “almost nothing on display” donate at least 67 items to the museum.

Shoe Shine by Kicks

In the city, there will be a skunk named Kicks who will shine your sneakers. He may also change the color of your sneakers, especially when you choose “Go by color! ” . When you choose “Go by color! “, he will change the color of your sneakers based on the hat your wearing. If you don’t like the way he changed your shoes, just put your other hat back on, and have him shine them again.

Talk to Phineas

Sometimes in the city there will be a fat seal named Phineas. Talk to him. He gives you dorky prizes. Example: a bubble wand.

Shoe Shine

While visiting the city, find the skunk. He will shine your shoes, allowing you to change the color.

Nookington’s

If you wanna keep your store as nookington’s, when nooks says he wants to talk to you about something, he will ask you what you look for in a store. If you always say variety, it will stay nookington’s If you say something else he will change the store back to nooksway.

Gyroid Room

Go to the coffee shop and always bring a Gyroid with you. One day, Brewster will ask you about it and he will ask for it. There is a special room that he keeps them in and you can back an get it later if you want.

Get A New Bridge, Fountain, and Lighthouse or Windmill

Go to the town hall an donate 200,000 bells to the town fund an they will give you an option of 3 places you can get a new bridge. Then donate 500,000 and get a fountain an when you throw an axe in once a day a goddess will appear an she might give you a gold axe if you keep trying, but don’t be surprised of she keeps your axe. Then donate 1,000,000 and you will have an option of a windmill or a lighthouse.it takes about a week for them to put them out in your town.

Tips For Auctioning Items

Certain items like Gyroids and fossils bidding prices can be predicted. If you auction off an item such as a robo-tv the prices will vary.If you auction off a Gyroid you will get somewhere around 3,000 bells a piece.If you auction off a fossil like a T-rex head you will get 4 times as more bells than what Tom Nook will give you. So if it is 5,000 bells you will get a whopping 20,000 bells! That is if it sells.

Pitfall Your Neighbors!

If you plant a pitfall seed and push your neighbors into it they will be stuck. The only way they can get out is by talking to them. Afterward, they will be sad for a short period but it’s just fun to see your neighbors panic!

Star Fish

If You See A Star Fish in the the Ground use yourshovel and dig it up. It could be anything.

Mario References

1.If you buy a type of a guitar(for instance a country guitar) and put it in your room and you press A when you are near it, it will play the Mario tune2. When you find the money rock and you hit it a couple of times,when bell bags come out it will play a sound affect like when Mario gets a 1UP mushroom. 3.When you get 10,000 points at Nooks Shop you will be able to buy Mario's standard Kart From Mario Kart Wii.4.When you get 500 points at Nooks Shop you will be able to purchase the banana from the Mario Kart series.5.When you get 800 points at Nooks Shop you will be able to purchase the triple red shells from the Mario Kart series and they actually rotate!

Easy House Things

First just go and buy paper. Then all you have to do is go and get a whole bunch of fruits. Write a quick letter to someone and put the fruit as a gift. Keep doing that till you write using all of you paper. Send to the post office. Wait a day or two and then all of the people you sent letters to will have sent you something back like furniture, walls, or flooring.

Wild World Import

Transfer your saved game files from Animal Crossing: Wild World, and all of yourunlocked items will be available in Nook’s store.

Bunny Day Dates

Just in case you want to change the date to bunny day the dates are organized by the year.

2009: April 122010: April 4

Snowman Items

During the winter, there will be two snowballs somewhere in your town. All you have to do is roll them around and they will grow bigger. Make sure the head of your snowman is slightly smaller than the body of your snowman. If you roll a snowball into another one, the snowball you were rolling will end up on top and that will be your snowman. If you get it right( and it will take some time to make your snowman happy) then he will say something positive about the way he is built and you will get something in the mail from him. If you didn’t get it right them he will say something negative. There will be two new snowballs everyday during the winter.

Gracie Furniture

If you see Gracie the Giraffe walking around your town you might receive furniture from her. Talk to her during each season to receive cool furniture sets.

The Salon

For first timers at the salon in the city, you can go in and ask Harriet the salon owner,and she will ask if you want a makeover or a new hairstyle. If you choose hairstyle you will have to pay 3,000 bells to get your hair done. If you choose makeover and it is your first time there you can do it for free (The makeover is when you get to look like a Mii. You choose the Mii and Harriet makes you look like that me!

Messenger Bird

When you go to a message board, sometimes there will be a yellow bird. When you approach it, it flies area. Once you see the message’s one is new.

Silver Shovel

On some random night’s in the city, go all the way to the right after 8:00 pm. You will reach a place if the cones are pushed aside. Talk to Mr. Restti. He tells you to get out and take the Silver Shovel with you!

Money Fish

In Winter, there are a lot of MONEY FISH! One is called the Football fish which sells for 2,500 bells. The others are Red Snapper, lobsters and that’s it.

Lots O Bells

First you must finish Tom Nook’s part-time job. Then get the fishing rod. Go to the ocean and fish! You might catch Sea Bass, Red Snappers, Barred Knifejaw’s, Sea Horse, and more. Sell them for a lot of bells. You will be rich in no time!

House Expansions

Below is a list of cost for expanding the size of your house for each addition.

Normal House - 19,800 Bells First Expansion - 120,000 Bells Second Expansion - 248,000 Bells Third Expansion - 368,000 Bells Fourth (Final) Expansion - 598,000 Bells

Tom Nook Points

When you spend money in Tom Nook�s store, you earn a point for every 100 Bells you spend. Purchase the items listed below from Tom Nook for the corresponding amount of points earned.

500 Points - Banana 800 Points - Triple Shells 1,000 Points - Yoshi�s Egg 2,500 Points - Bad Bro �Stache 3,000 Points - Toad Hat 4,000 Points - Peach�s Parasol 5,000 Points - Hero�s Clothes, Varia Suit, or Wario Hat 6,000 Points - Hero�s Cap, Majora�s Mask, or Samus Mask 6,500 Points - Midna�s Mask 10,000 Points - Kart

Selling Mushrooms

Mushrooms are valuable items that can be sold to Tom Nook for Bells. If you happen to find Elegant Mushrooms, you’re in luck, because those valuable items are worth a shocking 10,000 Bells a piece.

Easy Money

Every day one of the rocks in your town gives money for 5 seconds if hit with shovel or axe. Can only be done once a day and rock changes every day

Fishing Tourney And Bug Off Dates

Here are all the Fishing Tourney Dates

December 13January 17February 14March 21April 11May 16October 10Here are all the Bug off datesJuly 18August 15September 19

Hair Colors

Lighthearted- BlondeSafe- BrownFiery- RedFlirty- PinkMysterious- Dark BrownYoung- Sky BlueLush- GreenRadiant- White

Flea Market Dates

Here are all the flea market dates:

November 23January 25February 22March 22April 26May 24June 28July 26September 27October 25

Golden Shovel

Same as the last game, bury one shovel with another then wait 1 day exactly. dig it up and there ya go! you can also put 1,000 bells in the ground water EVERY DAY and have a money tree!

Cheats

K.K.’s Secret Songs

K.K.’s three secret “request-only” songs are:Stale CupcakesSpring BlossomsWanderingThey will sound oddly familiar. K.K. will be very surprised that you know these “secret” numbers.

Unlockables

Harvest Set Unlockables

To get a furniture item from the Harvest Set, You must talk to Tortimer after 3pm on Harvest Day, (which this year was Nov. 27). He will give you a Fork and Knife pair, telling you that the ‘Special Guest’ hasn’t shown up yet. There will be a Turkey character, Franklin, hiding somewhere in your town. You will be asked to trade himm the Fork & Knife. If you do, he’ll give you an item from the Harvest Set. The set includes: Fork and knife, wall, rug, bed, dresser, bureau, sofa, char, table, mirror, TV, clock and lamp.

Model Of Town Hall

It unlocks a year after you move in.

Birthday Cake

When it’s your birthday, talk to your neighbors.

Spooky Items On Halloween

You can unlock the following Spooky items on Halloween starting at 6pm. You have to find Jack and give him a piece of candy. If you give him candy, he gives you one of the following from the “Spooky” series:Bed, dresser, wardrobe, sofa, chair, table, vanity, bookcase, clock, lamp, wall, carpet.

Jingle Series Furniture

To unlock the jingle series of furniture, talk to Jingle on Christmast Eve (at 8pm). You can get:wall, carpet, bed, dresser, wardrobe, sofa, chair, table, lamp, clock, piano, and shelves.

Mario Items

Shoot down the ballons with the sling-shot from Nooks store to get one of the following:”?” block, 1-up mushroom, brick block, cannon, fire bar, fire flower, green Koopa shell, starman, green pipe, flagpole, super mushroom, coin, brick flooring, and mushroom mural.

New Years Shirt

Talk to Tortimer at town hall on January 1st to get the New Year’s Shirt for each year.

Wendell

You’ll find Wendell on weekdays between 6:00 and midnight (12:00) find him fish and he’ll give you prizes! NOTE: he’s a big fat blueish purplish thingy.

Angelfish: Field of flowersApple: Coloring nookArapaima: Nothing! (inedible)Arowana: PitfallBarbel steed: Horizontal streetBarred knifejaw: Curved track 3Birthday cake: Self-portraitBitterling: IntersectionBlack bass: GrassBlue candy: Coloring boyBlue marlin: Iron floorBluegill: Street corner 2Butterfly: Horizontal trackCarp: Vertical streetCatfish: Mystery circle CChar: Street corner 2Cherry: Coloring ResetiiCherry salmon: Street corner 1Chocolate heart: ChocolateClownfish: Curved track 4Coconut: Coloring houseCoelacanth: Nothing! (inedible)Crawfish: Rhino beetleCrucian carp: GroundDab: Curved track 1Dace: Street corner 1Dorado: MoneyEel: Mystery circle DElegant mushroom: MemoFlat mushroom: MemoFootball fish: StairsFreshwater goby: Mystery circle AFrog: Water puddleGar: GyroidGiant snakehead: ManholeGoldfish: MoneyGreen candy: Coloring girlGuppy: Field of flowersHammerhead shark: Nothing! (inedible)Horse mackerel: Horizantal trackJellyfish: Outer spaceKillifish: Water puddleKing salmon: Treasure chestKoi: FootstepLoach: Mystery circle BLobster: Red carpetMoray: Pitfall warningNapolean: Nothing! (inedible)Neon tetra: Field of flowersOcean sunfish: Nothing! (inedible)Octpus: Curved track 2Olive flounder: Curved track 1Orange: Coloring PellyPale chub: Street corner 4Peach: Coloring BlancaPear: Coloring K. K . Pike: Stone pavingPiranna: Cracked groundPond smelt: IntersectionPopeyed goldfish: MoneyPuffer fish: Forbidden signRainbow trout: Street corner 3Rare mushroom: Picture frameRay: Treasure chestRed candy: Coloring girlRed snapper: Curved track 3Red tunip:? BlockRound mushroom: MemoSalmon: Red carpetSea bass: Vertical trackSea butterfly: Outer spaceSea horse: Curved track 4Shark: Nothing! (inedible)Skinny mushroom: MemoSquid: Curved track 2Stringfish: Nothing! (inedible)Surgeon: Horizontal trackSweetfish: Street corner 3Tuna: Iron floorWhite turnip: BrickYellow candy: Coloring boyYellow perch: Street corner 4Zebra turkeyfish:! Sign.

Serena

First you have to donate 500, 000 bells till you get a fountain once you have a fountain, buy an axe, and walk up to the fountain and press A with the axe in your hand, then you’ll throw your axe in the fountain then Serena will show up, answer questions for her and she MIGHT give you a silver axe or a gold axe. WARNING: she will make VERY mad, just answer the questions to try and be polite.

Get More Hair Cuts

After you’ve bought every hair style at least once Harriet will offer you hair cuts for the opposite gender!

Golden Shovel

Plant a shovel with a different shovel. Wait one day then go and dig it backup. Now you have a golden shovel.

Foreign Fruit

To get other fruit, shoot down a lot of balloons and you might get a different fruit.

Silver Fishing Rod

To get this item, Tom Nook rarely sells it after Nook ‘n’ Go store expansion for 500 bells.

Golden Watering Can

To get this item, keep your town perfect for 15 days straight!

Silver Watering Can

To get this item, buy 50 bags of seeds from Tom Nook.

Fountain

To get a fountain in your town, you have to donate 500,000 bells to your town fund. Once you do get it, go get a ax and throw it in the fountain. Then a goddess will appear. You will either get a golden ax, silver ax, get your ax back, or not get it back at all.

Tortimer’s Goods

To get the following of Tortimer’s goods, speak to him on the corresponding day noted below.

Cool Globe - Nature Day Leaf - April Fool's Day Picnic Basket - Labor Day Resetti Model - Groundhog Day Sailboat Model - Explorer's Day Wheat Bundle - Harvest Moon

Easter eggs

How To Get Rich On Easter

First, switch the date on the Wii to April 12, 2009. Then, when on Animal Crossing City Folk, go infront of the town hall and meet Zipper T. Bunny. He will tell you about bunny day and tell you to go dig up Easter Eggs. He will also tell you about the special prizes in the eggs (Bunny Foil) and if you find some he will give you a special treat (Bunny Day Furniture). When you dig up as many as you can, go to your pockets and click on the egg and select ”open”. If you find bunny foil (golden foil with a white bunny) take it to Zipper T. Bunny and he will either give you a.

Bunny Wall

Bunny Floor

Bunny Bench

Bunny Bed

Bunny Chair

Bunny Clock

Bunny Stereo

Bunny Toy Set

or a Bunny Table

If you take these to Tom Nook’s Store, he will give you like 5, 000 Bells for each piece! I once sold the whole set and made like 80, 000 Bells! But if you decide to keep the furniture you will score high with the Happy Room Academy.

Easter Day Money

On bunny day you will get bunny furniture. Sell all the bunny furniture to nook and soon you will have 100 bells. Skip to the next sway and go back to bunny day and collect Easter eggs and sell the bunny furniture to nook again and if you keep doing this you will soon be rich like me!

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Animal Crossing: City Folk yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently we have no guides or FAQs for Animal Crossing: City Folk yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

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