#i def need to make up proper intro posts for them though

[rynaelasar]

would you happen to have intro posts for your tavs/durges or anywhere you've posted their backstories? i'd love to learn about them!

Apart from my rp blogs, i haven’t really spoken about them anywhere! I def want to do up posts talking about them and their backstories and plots more in depth. They've been rattling around in my brain for a while.

But for now, I’ll summarise them a bit here! I have waaaaaaay more than these ones but these three are kind of my “main” ones right now and the ones I make the most edits of.

First up we got my babe, Ryn. 

She’s my BG1 / BG2 protagonist who I picked up and dumped into BG3 because she had a 100 year vacation, its time for more suffering.

She’s a Sorcerer (Draconic) but she has some wizard training here and there and Warrior training too. Instead of a staff she uses a glaive.

Basically with her in the setting, the Durge that existed died from Orin’s attack (and looked a lot like ryn due to bg2 related shenanigans)

Bhaal decided to yeet all that Bhaalspawn essence back into Ryn bc he’s an ass who wants to punish her.

I’m VEEERY slowly writing fanfic about her. I’ve got a BG1 retelling in progress and i’ve written scenes for her being in bg3 but nothing substantial enough to post yet.

In her first bg3 run, I romanced Gale with her but on her second, I’m eyeing off Shadowheart. In bg1/2 she romanced a monk named Rasaad but that... uh. didn't end well. I'm planning on doing a bg2 replay with a mod that lets her romance Viconia.

My psd/colouring kinda hides it but she has scars and scales over her body which i made myself and im super proud of them.

Then there's Darci, my actual Durge.

she chose the name darci because someone asked what her name is and she panicked and said "the dar-" (franticly looks around for something, sees the chionthar) "-sea. darci."

she didn't know it was a river at the time. probably for the best. 'dariver' doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

She doesn’t exist in the same universe as Ryn, unless i decide i want them to meet in an au.

She’s your pretty average resist!durge. Rebelling against daddy dearest and killing her enemies!

I've also written some general fic stuff for her but not a lot.

She's actually mildly hilarious, unintentionally. She does nice things for people out of spite.

She’s a Wild Magic Sorcerer and Assassin Rogue

She likes to run around without what could be called a proper shirt.

She romanced Astarion in my first run. Unsure who I'm going to romance with her next.

When fighting Harleep in Hell, she had a wild magic surge and accidentally summoned a hostile cambion. Twice. I just wanted to mention that one because I'm still scarred by it.

And then there's Jeremy! I'm making the most edits of him at the moment because his is the game I'm actively playing.

Jeremy isn’t technically my OC, I just put him down as one on my edit blog cos its easier than fully explaining:

He’s technically a character from the book series ‘women of the otherworld’ by kelley armstrong. A urban fantasy werewolf series. He’s my fave character in the series and I’ve been rping him over on my rp blogs for a while now, and he’s somewhat canon divergent (i gave him a husband. its what he deserves.) When I got into BG3 i made him a bg3 verse and its sorta become my main verse to write him in lol. So he’s an AU of a canon character based on my canon divergence and headcanons. (I’ve also made more characters connected to him in bg3 but haven’t posted any edits of them yet.)

Explanation aside, Jeremy is a Half-elf Lythari (werewolf).

He’s a Ranger who lives in the woods with his (also lythari/werewolf) family.

He’s a bit of a homebody, doesn’t really like going into civilisation, or meeting new people.

So being abducted by mindflayers and forced to interact with a bunch of strangers really is the worst thing.

Except its fine (kinda) because Jer is The Ultimate Dad… so once everyone stops flirting with him, he just adopts them.

Astarion didn't like him to start with because he thought that Jeremy might have been one of the werewolves Cazador controls, but they work through that eventually.

Sometime during Act 1 he sends a letter to his family, delivered via Birds, to let them know he's alive and he's going to make his way to Baldur's Gate.

By the time he reunites with his husband in act 3 he’s like “meet our new adult kids i’ve adopted.”

But yeah he’s a werewolf but the tadpole is interfering with that to stop the full transformation

i've written some fic snippets about him too but haven't posted them anywhere because i genuinely don't know how to explain 'its not really a crossover but kind of!' 😂

honorable mention:

reese, she's actually my oc from an original novel i'm writing. in my novel, she can go to different universes. her bg3 verse is basically that. she got abducted by mindflayers while in another world, got stuck with a tadpole and is like "well shit." in faerun she is a bard. i got up to act 2 with her but then my mods killed my game in ... patch 7, i think? and i simply restarted her lol so i haven't gone very far in her run this time

[betratyal]

                       the first clear thought in years:                              I REFUSE TO DIE.

JACOB BATALON? No, that’s actually PETER PETTIGREW from the MARAUDERS ERA. You know, the child of AMBROSIA PETTIGREW and ALISTER MCALISTER? Only 20 years old, this GRYFFINDOR alumni works as a DISH WASHER and is sided with HIMSELF. HE/THEY identifies as AGENDER and is a HALFBLOOD who is known to be CUNNING, HUMOROUS and ALLOCENTRIC but also OBSESSIVE, PASSIVE and COWARDLY. 

LINKS – pinboard, stats, app. CHARACTER PARALLELS – winston bishop ( new girl ), sid jenkins ( skins ), charles boyle ( b99 ), edmund pevensie ( narnia ), eric forman ( that 70s show ), bunny corcoran ( the secret history ) AESTHETIC –  ketchup stains on band shirts, an incomprehensible minute long string of curses, tracing the veins in your wrist, the smell of breakfast and fresh coffee, card tricks at three in the morning, freddie mercury impersonations, lying on the floor of the kitchen staring a the ceiling for three hours, trembling hands holding a joint, a guilty grin. HEADS UP – this intro contains mentions of bullying, death, mental illness (eating disorders (bed & bulimia) and depression and anxiety), self destructive tendencies and weed. ive trigger warned each bullet point where it comes up.

history ( 1960 - 1978 )

peter was born to ambrosia pettigrew, a halfblooded scottish-filipino witch. his father -- a muggle -- was not in the picture and hadn’t been ever since he’d learned of ambrosia’s pregnancy; he would sent her money every now and then, in the first years of peter’s life, but was never in the picture. ( and that was for the best, thought ambrosia; she didn’t love him, and he was a muggle, but still --- she was heartbroken and wished that she could give more to her son ).

peter grew up living with his mother in a small flat in glasgow. his grandparents lived nearby, and he spent a lot of time with them. peter learned how to be alone from a young age, with his mother working a lot and he himself lacking friends and peers to waste the days with --- as a child, he delved into fictional worlds ( superhero comics, roald dahl novels, animated tv shows ) and found friends there.

bullying tw / went to muggle elementary as well, but never felt at home there. he was the odd one out: his clothes didn’t fit well, his nervous habits were annoying to his classmates, his words were too clumsy and his eyes too shifty. he didn’t mind not having friends ( or so he thought, until he did have them ) but he did mind being picked on and teased. end of tw

death tw /  his grandmother died when he was seven and it was devastating; peter’s family was so small and compact, his social world so limited, that it had a huge impact. his relationship with his grandfather did grow much stronger through it. end of tw 

and then peter finally went to hogwarts! and peter made friends for the FIRST TIME. and he found a second home! ah, my god --- peter was so happy, he was really so hyped and in awe of his life and his friends. it all felt a bit surreal; especially because he looked up to james and sirius and remus so much --- james, mainly, but all of them were so amazing, and he was so amazed that they liked him, too.

peter always loved heroes. he loves comic books and people who save the day and get the girl and do it all. i think he kind of … projected that onto james and sirius especially? did not know how to do this friendship thing as an 11 year old tbh, was a mess, was blinded by their amazingness damn, and thus kind of hero worshipped them, didn’t see their flaws and faults.

re: peter being a gryffindor; peter admires heroism and bravery and chivalry, and it’s your values that get you sorted some place. and he always did try to be brave, and he WAS in a lot of moments, because he became a damn animagus for his bud! i mean! he was not a hatstall btw  — i choose to ignore that stupid bit of post canon. it took a while for the hat, sure, but no more than two minutes.  

peter was a pretty bad student, to be honest. not because he was stupid, but because he’s just not build for school. deadlines? exams? homework? no thank you --- those were both sources of stress and horribly tedious things and peter was much too occupied with shenanigans and having fun. peter learned better in different settings: he got very good at certain charms because they allowed him to be lazy ( hello, accio! ) and was able to put his mind to becoming an animagus because there was a necessity and a proper motivation, and became better at potions because of all the hangover potions he brew. 

becoming an animagus for remus was ! important ! to peter ! he did it for remus, not because of peer pressure, or anything else — he did it because it was right, and his friend deserved it and ! he did it, too, because he could. sure, his transfig grades may have been more than poor, but the kid did have some skill. he just needed motivation, which mcgonagall didn’t give (bc. she scared him.) and this situation? motivated the hell out of him.

peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken a bit aback when he learned about remus’ lycanthropy — not because he was scared of him, to be honest, but he was just ? shocked ? he was more scared for remus, and so sad? so fucking sad for him? : ( he cried

he also loved spending his time at hogwarts playing games; from muggle card games to chess to gobstones. collected chocolate frogs Very Seriously as well, and still does tbh.

weed & anxiety tw / peter started smoking pot in the summer between his fourth and fifth year, and never really stopped. it made him slack more at school, but also eased his anxiety, which had started to develop in his fourth year. as months passed, peter became more and more of a stoner, which made him both more relaxed and funnier, but also … a whole of a lot lazier. end of weed tw

peter had always been a bit … fidgety, easily on edge, a bit nervous, but he’d never really known anxiety until around fourteen years old. his insecurities grew, as he started comparing himself more to his friends and finding nothing but things he lacked in comparison to them, and questions as to why they put up with him. end of anxiety tw

so his schooldays mostly looked like … doing nothing, playing games, having fun with his mates, getting high, forgetting his homework, stressing about homework, and somewhere, in a tiny corner of his being, worrying about the war. whenever those worries started coming up, though, he was able to push them away, because the war was not yet there, not for him at least. there was graduation to worry about first, and once that was done, then he could worry about the war.

post graduation - now ( 1978 - 1980 )

peter joins the order along with his friends, because it was what was right. peter believes in their cause, hates the death eaters, hates discrimination and racism and terrorism --- of course he fucking does, and so he joins, even though he feels incompetent. i have written a lot about this in his app too, which is linked above! 

he starts working as a dishwasher in muggle glasgow, preferring a bit of a break from the wizarding world every now and then. peter’s not unambitious, per se, but he doesn’t have enough faith in himself to try and pursue a career ( and besides, what’s the point in the midst of a war? ). plus, peter doesnt need any more stress on his plate, and dish washing is laidback and at least kind of fun. 

depression & weed & eating disorder (bed/bulimia) tw | peter feels useless in the order, though. he seems to lack the skills, the guts, the everything that the people around him have. before, their heroics mightve inspired him; now they just make him feel like a shitty person, like a burden. peter starts secluding himself a little, hiding in his mother’s home. he smokes more pot. he sometimes goes almost week without seeing someone besides his mum and his coworkers. he watches too much telly and reads comics and drowns in fictional worlds and he becomes depressed. he sinks into it without noticing and can’t come back from it. his eating habits ( which have always bordered on unhealthy ) turn worse; peter binges, and then restricts, falls into a cycle. it’s the only routine he has.

when he’s around his friends, he lives up a little. he cracks jokes and wants to play games and laughs and feels a bit more alive, but he always craves his time on his own. that’s his new way to feel safe: to stick to his newly found routine, hidden in his room, away from reality. | end of tw

the idea to join the death eaters comes out of fear. peter feels like the order is losing, and feels like death is inevitable. i dont know how true this is, but the fact is that the death eaters are ruthless and that his life is on the line because of his position. i wrote a Lot about this in his app too, so if u want a more comprehensive explanation i’d def read it here, its the second hc!

he joins, because he thinks it will give him a saver position. play both sides, play for the winning side --- he’s always had a bit of an opportunistic streak, which definitely helps sway his decision. in the end he’s just afraid of dying, and that’s why he joins; he’s twenty, his life has hardly started --- he doesn’t want to die, no cause is worth that, none at all. ( he should have just ran )

he joins in may 1978, for timeline reasons, so he’s been a death eater for only a few months. it’s been a lot different than he imagined ----- peter thought he’d blend in the background quietly, that he’d have to do shitty jobs ( which is true ) and that he’d be left alone. he underestimated it, because well --- he was desperate when he joined, and he didn’t think about the consequences, and he didn’t think about how voldemort’s cruelty wasn’t just reserved for his enemies but for his followers, too. there’s no stepping out of line with the death eaters; mistakes are not treated lightly and peter --- afraid, a bit of a bumbling idiot, learns this quite soon.

his function is mostly just to be a spy; relay information and share plans, name members, etcetera. he’s not very active because he’s a spy, but i imagine that he is present at the bigger meetings. AND FML HE’S GOOD AT IT! he’s good at lying and sneaking and being a sly bastard --- he used those skills for pranks, once. now he uses it to betray his fellow prankers : D

peter, at that point, hates himself. he’s always had a bit of self loathing, but it’s gained the upper hand now and he’s drowning in it; it does allow for him to ignore his conscience, though, for him to ignore the reality and just stew in his negativity. he’s got a woe is me mentality, for sure, and he’s so god damn passive about his situation. 

timeclash reaction.

peter’s reaction to the timeclash was ... a lot. i wrote about it in his app, so if u want to read my whole ass rambling, i rec that. but tldr: he’s shocked, at what he becomes. the peter he is now is a traitor, yes, but he’s not yet the person who ends up betraying james and lily and harry, who frames sirius --- and it’s ground shattering to find out that he’s on the road to become such a person. 

self destructiveness, weed, alcohol tw / his self loathing grows more. peter wasn’t doing very well before, but the timeclash makes something snap inside him --- he abandons his needs, punishes himself in small ways, loses sight of himself. he drinks and smokes too much. he’s so scared of himself. he’s in hiding, when he first finds out, scared of his friends and the death eaters and the order members and the people from the future who have met a worse version of him end of tws

part of peter is also like “i havent done any of these things yet, i know i am not the BEST person but i am still . not That Bad! stop being mad for something i havent done yet!”

around this time, he’s realising that he can either keep hiding, that he can completely destroy himself and all the ties he has, or he can take this opportunity to change his course. to not become the person all these people from the future know, to change change change, to make up for the wrongs he has committed and the wrongs he will commit if he keeps on going the way he is --- and that’s where he’s at now.

on another hand, he definitely watched all the star wars movies that came out over the past 50 yrs and hates kylo ren and cried when han died!!! he is in awe of the mcu movies but also thinks they did the comics dirty. i wish someone would introduce him to video games bc he would cry from happiness.

personality & details

OKAY onto the fun stuff, that was way too depressing and peter is usually a comedic icon

peter parker is his favourite superhero just because … they share a first name and because peter parker is a bit of an underdog too and peter is just like! amazing! he named his owl parker.

he hates cats. used to love them — he was allowed to take the cat from home with him to hogwarts when he was eleven, but he brought him back home after an unfortunate incident where his cat nearly ate him while he was in his animagus form. “sorry ma, i don’t love him any more. here. have him.”

peter is actually a solid cook. this is because he learned to make some basic food when he was still a kid, first with his grandma, and later on his own. he liked doing it for his mother and he was. .. good at it? peter is also just passionate about food and finds comfort in cooking. breakfast food and baked goods are Prime Food Categories.

he is asexual af, panromantic. has kissed both guys and gals and nb pals but did not like it??? confused. does not understand sexuality and all that jazz but tries not to think abt it because like! he’s got enough stress! doesnt need to think abt this!

peter is also agender, but i think he’s a lot less aware about this, because it’s confusing and so he just tries not to think about it. he does feel okay with he/him pronouns, but just doesn’t feel connected at all to being a boy/man

peter has abandonment issues because his dad, well, never even bothered to be there. not even for a second. he’s just constantly scared that people will leave and it’s funny, because he will probably end up abandoning all of his loved ones KDJFHSDF.

peter is quite non confrontational but also not … meek? he just avoids it, either by physically staying out of people’s way or by dismissing most of the things said and getting out of there. a Passive Kid. 

he’s such a fucking dork i swear to god. but he’s funny! peter is really funny. i deeply believe in this. he makes great puns and is able to just come out of nowhere and make a comment that just. hits the nail right on its head.

peter curses a lot and has a scottish accent and sometimes he will have a minute long cursing session that no one rly understands.

[asgardianhammer]

*

(( Some Marvel Wank: An Essay by Mir, or, How And What Shall Be Ignored 5Ever Regarding Endgame. ( SPOILER HEAVY BEYOND THE CUT YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND, SO MUCH SPOILER )

To be honest, I am rewatching both Infinity War and Endgame this weekend, but for now I need to pour some salt truths and thoughts out about mostly Endgame. Very frankly speaking, Infinity War was mostly acceptable but also sort of forgettable in a weird ‘ I like it but I kinda don’t ‘ sort of way. It’s hard to explain, I might actually better liveblog into 1 post when I watch it again so I don’t miss any... thoughts on what happened.

----

Where do I actually even begin with it? As someone who has watched Marvel start with Thor’s story, and abandon any sense and reason when it comes to his character development, I feel Endgame was honestly just a final nail in the coffin of an already deteriorated version of an otherwise glorious character. The final noose around his neck, the falling chop of the guillotine if you will. The weirdest thing is that they sort of did other characters dirty by doing Thor dirty, which is something I didn’t expect but oh well... ( sans Steve, per usual <3 )

New Asgard: I love the idea of it. I had envisioned the remaining Asgardians would be allowed to settle somewhere, and it makes sense it would be by a shore but also with mountains. Even though they would thrive in woodlands and mountains I feel the connection to the Vikings of old would give them this opportunity, and the location is fitting. Do I suspect they will resurrect Asgard properly at some point? Absolutely. They would want to rebuild much of their former home, and I feel that would be only possible off-Earth, possibly hovering above it.

Vakyrie: It warmed my heart to see her thrive, and seemingly happy. I don’t like it when trauma and PTSD, ( and gods know what else ) is glossed over by movies, but it’s understandable they couldn’t focus in depth on her character, or the Asgardians for that matter. That still doesn’t mean my greedy ass didn’t want it, or means that all is well and good, emotionally and mentally, for her ( or any of them ).

Thor: - cracks knuckles - Listen, my bias for him as a character should be clear and well known at this point. Everything about him, about the setup, intro, continuation and the overall approach was a joke, literally... 

I find it acceptable he wouldn’t be in a palace anymore, their main priority is getting their people back into the swing of normal life, coping with said life and this new world, and supporting each other. Nobody cares about glitter and gold at this point, and Thor def wouldn’t. He would NOT however live away from them. Post Infinity War, post everything, his people is what matters most to him right now, and getting revenge on Thanos. Showing him as a recluse makes no sense, and he would never, period.

Continuing on from that idea, let me make one thing very clear. I’m NOT against the loss of his physique, or whatever the hell that means, I’m not against the notion that he suffers from (suvivors) guilt, depression, and that various other issues would haunt and plague him to no end. Including poor coping mechanisms that goes with that. But painting him as someone who would wallow in self-pity, after everything he has experienced and been through, after everything he has lost? Not in a million fucking years.

These tantrums, and whining, and staying hung up on mistakes and a lost battle of all things, is going against everything he has learned over the years ( and considering both Taika and the Russo bros shat on all previous movies and everything they displayed, I shouldn’t have been surprised). Thor has grown and evolved from that brash, foolhearted boy, CHILD he was, with every step he has taken since being dropkicked in New Mexico, and with every loss and grief he had to endure since then. He was raised by a father who demanded loyalty and bravery from him since the day he was born, and raised by a mother who taught him compassion and seeing the good in others. He had friends ( AND LET’S NOT FRICKEN FORGET SIF IS STILL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE TYVM, don’t even get me started ) that have taught him how to persevere, that have encouraged him and brought him down a peg each time his head got too big. He is a MAN now, someone who doesn’t hide or run from his responsibilities, and definitely someone who will NEVER allow the woe is me to take his focus of his purpose. And speaking of purpose....

Not A King: Thor has always been reluctant to take the throne, this has been a red thread through his arc in the MCU, with waxing and waning intensity towards the issue. But judging by the comments ( mostly of the casual fans, but def some of the die hards as well ) people seem to believe he doesn’t want to be king at all. Honestly, I disagree so hard it makes my body itch. Thor is not Odin, and Thor has rarely understood, let alone agreed with how his father ruled. He didn’t want to be a king LIKE HIM. He didn’t want to be caged on a throne, and ( seemingly ) rule without a heart, without ACTIVELY doing something. That’s what he didn’t want. He is tempest made flesh, he has compassion and a heart, and he needs to DO SOMETHING. And he didn’t feel, for a very long time he was capable to be and act as a king without Loki, without someone by his side to do the ‘ hard stuff ‘, he thought he was incapable of doing what was necessary. He has believed himself unworthy often, of both his hammer and definitely of the throne, and after all this he will not cower and hide, and play Fortnite ( he would be an Overwatch or Skyrim dude anyway tyvm). This is why this... characterization if you may call it that, this story of self-pity and loss of confidence, is outright bullshit. It implies, once again, that he doesn’t learn from the past, and it’s regressing his character so much it’s painful. He would never ever run from his responsibilities, at this point in his life, and that’s why I cannot accept his renouncing of the throne, in whatever form that may be.

The Running Gag And Why It’s Gross For All Involved: I understand that contrast is funny by default, and that extremes, in characters, can be hysterical at times. I didn’t appreciate the Thor Is Fat jokes running through the movie, constantly. It made everyone participating looking like a douche in the process ( Rhodey for example, was so utterly disappointing I legit gasped...). Rocket is a character I expected cheap things from, but the OG 6 ( sans Steve, bless ) participating in it was so OOC for them it was cringe. They were there during the battle in Infinity War... they KNOW what he feels, they understand the guilt. And they would NOT act this way towards Thor.

A Moment Of Brightness: I’m happy with the closure he received with Frigga, fricken finally, but of course it had to be ruined by the ‘ eat a salad ‘ bit. Frigga would not give a rat’s ass about her child being fat, ffs. Steve wielding Mjolnir was magnificent and complies with my headcanons from years and years it makes my heart sing. Steve in general was a jewel in a sea of shit. The throwbacks to other movies were ingenious.

What We Needed But Never Received: A moment between Loki and Thor, at the very least, to offer some closure there as well. T’challa and his people being more than just canon fodder. Captain Marvel being used properly. Multiple characters just... being more than just screen filler.

In Conclusion: This topped my very disliked Ragnarok and that’s saying something. A proper synopsis will follow of course, and updates on the verses page per movie. As it stands I’ll probably be like 80 - 90 % canon divergent since the AoU era, and that’s frankly a-okay with me.