#i forced myself to mostly finish these and now i dont want 2 draw anymore i have to work and im going to play professorlayton maybeee hmmmm

[ooliecat]

i saw a deer today

okay meant to post two days ago. and i actually meant to post these before 2025. for winter you know. just look at the date facepalm. does it still snow in february. would you know if didn't tell you these were unfinished. aha. maybe you expect that.

[toyhou-se-drama]

kind of an aita ask but ??? im probably the bad guy in this situation but i wanna talk about it lmao

theres this person i befriended from like 4 years ago, easily my longest online friend but by no means is she my best friend, not even in my top 5 tbh, we were out of contact for a little bit just from natural means (life paths going differently and stuff) but she recently started talking to me again. i thought it would be cool to catch up but i regret this decision with my LIFE and let me tell you why

(tldr here!! she seemed unconcerned about me being sick and expected me to draw for her on my busiest month, with burnout, completely unpaid artwork i dont owe her by any means, but there are important details in the rest of this ask!)

SO, for the details: she had randomly asked me if I'd be open to making a design for them, they said they liked my artstyle (was open about stalking my tiktok) and she asked that i make it based off how i think of her, but specifically with a certain theme and colors (so much for theming it off how i see her) and i said yes (im a massive pushover and i hate it)

now i HAD started working on it, but artfight had legit just started when she asked, so i was not working on it all the time. i made her aware of this!! she knew i had artfight to do. despite that she hounded me over it, almost as if i owed her art or something (unpaid art, and not owed). over the course of like, 2 weeks? i had lost my motivation for art entirely (because of artfight) and stopped working on anything at all. i had kept my last-seen status off and told her i was sick (i was not, but i made up something hospital-worthy so she would leave me alone)... she did not give a SINGLE fuck and kept hounding me over the design. AND I QUOTE!! "What even-did you finish my artwork?" (in response to me explaining my "sickness" and how bad it is)

i seethed over that for a bit. 4 years of friendship and shes unconcerned about my health!! im so happy

anyway... i still had 0 motivation at this point but i was tired of putting it off so on the 24th i erased the previous work i had for it, started over, and finished the design and sent it to her. i forced myself to do it and end my suffering, but then she doesnt like the background and expects me to redo it... didnt even say she wanted it redone, just flatout said "i dont like the background" and later asked if i finished the new background. also same message she started with "what if i just blocked u" and im still confused over why/what that means but. okay...

so! still avoiding that on the 28th, today, not proud of it (and it is by no means my usual business practice) but i feel like this situation is crazy in itself. shes not the type of person to be peaceful if i up and block her with no word so im worried about that and possible slander, but i want opinions (mostly to know if she does anything crazy i wont be like, completely ganged up on by internet strangers...) do note though that im not interested in being friends with this person anymore but i just dont know how to end it between us

and so... aita for ignoring my 4-year friend and her art request because i feel disrespected and used?

thanks for any opinions... i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place

🦫

[toyhou-se-dramas]

kind of an aita ask but ??? im probably the bad guy in this situation but i wanna talk about it lmao

theres this person i befriended from like 4 years ago, easily my longest online friend but by no means is she my best friend, not even in my top 5 tbh, we were out of contact for a little bit just from natural means (life paths going differently and stuff) but she recently started talking to me again. i thought it would be cool to catch up but i regret this decision with my LIFE and let me tell you why

(tldr here!! she seemed unconcerned about me being sick and expected me to draw for her on my busiest month, with burnout, completely unpaid artwork i dont owe her by any means, but there are important details in the rest of this ask!)

SO, for the details: she had randomly asked me if I'd be open to making a design for them, they said they liked my artstyle (was open about stalking my tiktok) and she asked that i make it based off how i think of her, but specifically with a certain theme and colors (so much for theming it off how i see her) and i said yes (im a massive pushover and i hate it)

now i HAD started working on it, but artfight had legit just started when she asked, so i was not working on it all the time. i made her aware of this!! she knew i had artfight to do. despite that she hounded me over it, almost as if i owed her art or something (unpaid art, and not owed). over the course of like, 2 weeks? i had lost my motivation for art entirely (because of artfight) and stopped working on anything at all. i had kept my last-seen status off and told her i was sick (i was not, but i made up something hospital-worthy so she would leave me alone)... she did not give a SINGLE fuck and kept hounding me over the design. AND I QUOTE!! "What even-did you finish my artwork?" (in response to me explaining my "sickness" and how bad it is)

i seethed over that for a bit. 4 years of friendship and shes unconcerned about my health!! im so happy

anyway... i still had 0 motivation at this point but i was tired of putting it off so on the 24th i erased the previous work i had for it, started over, and finished the design and sent it to her. i forced myself to do it and end my suffering, but then she doesnt like the background and expects me to redo it... didnt even say she wanted it redone, just flatout said "i dont like the background" and later asked if i finished the new background. also same message she started with "what if i just blocked u" and im still confused over why/what that means but. okay...

so! still avoiding that on the 28th, today, not proud of it (and it is by no means my usual business practice) but i feel like this situation is crazy in itself. shes not the type of person to be peaceful if i up and block her with no word so im worried about that and possible slander, but i want opinions (mostly to know if she does anything crazy i wont be like, completely ganged up on by internet strangers...) do note though that im not interested in being friends with this person anymore but i just dont know how to end it between us

and so... aita for ignoring my 4-year friend and her art request because i feel disrespected and used?

thanks for any opinions... i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place

(also double posting this here and mod beavers page)

yikes

[exactlywhoyouthinkiwas-blog]

[2/27/2015 9:48:23 AM] Evan: sup [2/27/2015 11:23:51 AM] YV??~: (So I was not ignoring this i just only ever wake up around 12 and i never change my status because i dont plan when i go to sleep. just felt like i needed to explain i was not ignoring this) [2/27/2015 3:28:38 PM] Evan: I kinda figured. heh [2/27/2015 3:29:23 PM] YV??~: so you wanted something? [2/27/2015 3:30:49 PM] Evan: Haha not particularly. It's going to sound pretty random, but I actually wanted to ask you a question. [2/27/2015 3:31:01 PM] YV??~: Ok [2/27/2015 3:32:21 PM] Evan: Cause I'm curious, and I can't remember if I ever asked. [2/27/2015 3:32:30 PM] Evan: Heh. Sorry if this is too personal, but [2/27/2015 3:32:45 PM] Evan: Why do you consider yourself a terrible person? [2/27/2015 3:42:39 PM] YV??~: Oh. Well you are in luck because i accidentally did a lot of terribly depression introspection earlier this week and have just the answer for that. From what i can put together from my somewhat incoprehansible whining. I've gotten through a lot of my life manipulating people through lying and gaining their pity all for my own gain...and probably will continue to. I tend to not do ANYTHING in every situation that would be optimal for working. I am able to somehow make people angry just by expressing emotion. and even when i find things i could fix i never try to change anything. [2/27/2015 3:42:54 PM] YV??~: just a short list of some of the things [2/27/2015 3:43:57 PM] Evan: I see. [2/27/2015 3:44:13 PM] Evan: It sounds to me like you're a human. [2/27/2015 3:46:21 PM] YV??~: Ehhh. I mean im not gonna tell people what they can think but i dont have to share anyone opinion [2/27/2015 3:47:23 PM] Evan: Haha, fair enough. I'll spare you the optimistic bullshit. [2/27/2015 3:47:28 PM] Evan: Why don't you change anything? [2/27/2015 3:48:51 PM] YV??~: That takes time. and effort im too lazy to put out. Ive tried to fix some things but i forget like a week later and stop trying [2/27/2015 3:49:40 PM] Evan: Do you not actually want to? [2/27/2015 3:52:05 PM] YV??~: Honestly, hell if I care anymore. I'm trash and thats that, Im not really worth the time or effort. [2/27/2015 3:52:29 PM] Evan: Not even your own? [2/27/2015 3:54:23 PM] YV??~: Im not really worth pretty much anything for anyone. Even thinking deeper about myself makes me feel like that was just a waste of time. [2/27/2015 3:54:49 PM] Evan: What do you do, then? [2/27/2015 3:55:50 PM] YV??~: Weh, theres a reason I have so many OCs and roughly 12 titles to my name with 6 running congruently at various stages of development. [2/27/2015 3:56:27 PM] Evan: Why do you make art and tell stories? [2/27/2015 4:01:07 PM] YV??~: I dont really have any other people around, and I dont really move from one spot like 22+ hours of the day so I gotta have somewhere to go, and someone to be. Even before I ended up like i am now barely leaving the house, I didnt have more than like 1 friend ever so those were my friends. I ended up picking up drawing from my sister seeing her do it because i thought itd be a good way to be able to really see these characters [2/27/2015 4:03:03 PM] Evan: Why do you animate them? [2/27/2015 4:06:56 PM] YV??~: Ive always been able to make up stories but when i create them i dont think of it as words, as a story would be if i wrote it down, I actually see the story's progression moving. When I create a story and characters I see them move and create the story themselves with small things i put in, and I hear them actually say what they have to say. out of all mediums of visual story-telling, animation is the closest to the original "being" of the story. [2/27/2015 4:07:38 PM] Evan: Why do you share them? [2/27/2015 4:10:20 PM] YV??~: I do that with pretty much any work i finish. Like "here i made this, heres proof it exists." Basically so i have something to show for myself, that i do have the ability to make things. [2/27/2015 4:12:29 PM] Evan: Does it make you proud? [2/27/2015 4:15:32 PM] YV??~: euuhhh...Proud? No. Satisfied with actually being able to have a finished product of some kind, even if its less than the original plan, is a little more like it. Even if I hate it later because there are things that could have been done better if given the time, its still better than nothing. And even then usually the ones i hate the most give other people the most enjoyment. [2/27/2015 4:17:22 PM] Evan: Do you make things that you hate? [2/27/2015 4:20:59 PM] YV??~: Oh yeah. Serious things that just went wrong early on and i was unable to fix, and joke things that ive put too much effort into that got too big compared to real work. I usually dont hate projects though. Even when I feel like theyre going no where and i retire the idea completely i dont usually hate those. Mostly art and animations, actual stories are different. [2/27/2015 4:28:05 PM] Evan: Does art make you happy? [2/27/2015 4:32:56 PM] YV??~: Not usually while im in the process of making it, im mostly just mind set on what it SHOULD look like. But stepping back to look at everything come together and finally become something finished usually is satisfying at the least. Some i never look at after that final moment of its creation, but some im really happy with the way it came out and end up looking at it over and over. So I suppose once the peice is made it does, in a way. [2/27/2015 4:34:34 PM] Evan: Are you proud when your art makes others happy? [2/27/2015 4:36:44 PM] YV??~: Well, i mean, i guess its nice when other people can find enjoyment out of something ive done. [2/27/2015 4:37:13 PM] Evan: Do you like making people happy? [2/27/2015 4:39:21 PM] YV??~: depends, usually i try not to sacrifice too much for other people, but sometimes i can be generous with somethings. really it depends on how I feel pretty much. [2/27/2015 4:41:55 PM] Evan: What makes you happy? [2/27/2015 4:47:07 PM] YV??~: I dont know, I tend to spend most of the day in a neutral 'emotionless' state, and most of the time any emotions I do have are very miniscule that I dont usually remember them. Though I enjoy being in the presence of other people, even without participating, people tend to ignore me 90% of the time. Thats a question that im not sure has a real answer [2/27/2015 4:50:26 PM] Evan: Do you have a dream? [2/27/2015 4:53:07 PM] YV??~: I try not to make solid plans more than 3 years in advance, so im not really sure. There's not a whole lot, at this point, that I could really accomplish by 2018, who can even say I'll still be alive by then. [2/27/2015 4:54:04 PM] Evan: But is there something you would want to do? [2/27/2015 4:58:05 PM] YV??~: Usually I just put goals on my characters, and I just exist to help them get there. I dont really see it so much as my life and things I want to do. Really the only thing id regret in dying is not that im stuck nowhere and im not going anywhere, but my characters not fufilling their roles and reaching THEIR closure. [2/27/2015 4:59:23 PM] Evan: Is there anything else that you do? [2/27/2015 5:02:50 PM] YV??~: All of my hobbies relate with art and story-telling in someway. Voice acting, singing, creating costumes and clothing. pretty much all of it is art and in some way has a story behind it. [2/27/2015 5:06:28 PM] Evan: What do you want to be better at? [2/27/2015 5:09:51 PM] YV??~: wehh..I dont know, theres a lot of things i could be better at and somethings i should be, but...im not really sure. [2/27/2015 5:22:15 PM] Evan: What do you think you're best at? [2/27/2015 5:28:41 PM] YV??~: Ive practiced various methods of drawing for years but, even though i just picked up sewing as a craft 3 years ago im better at that than i was with drawing early on. Everything else has taken since around middle school to get to a good level where i can still do it comparatively quickly, where sewing only took a year to get to that point. Overall for me it went from a beginner level to at least moderately experienced much faster than everything else. [2/27/2015 5:38:07 PM] Evan: What's your favorite thing to do? [2/27/2015 5:41:19 PM] YV??~: I dont know. Usually if im bored, and not too fed up with holding a pencil, i end up idly drawing....Its really like the only thing I do. [2/27/2015 5:50:40 PM] Evan: What inspires you? [2/27/2015 5:53:13 PM] YV??~: Usually things just pop into mind on their own. Sometimes they happen while im listening to, or watching something. [2/27/2015 5:53:40 PM] Evan: What sorts of things do you watch and listen to? [2/27/2015 5:57:06 PM] YV??~: Usually I put on miscellaneous gameplay footage or lets plays, and i pretty much switch between that and music. [2/27/2015 5:57:49 PM] Evan: What kind of music? [2/27/2015 6:00:23 PM] YV??~: It usually depends what i feel like. somedays its lighter faster stuff, somedays its heavier stuff. Somedays a combination of both, sometimes i just let my music shuffle and play in whatever order. [2/27/2015 6:02:12 PM] Evan:  Is music important to you? [2/27/2015 6:05:52 PM] YV??~: I guess....I mean some ideas wouldnt have happened without certain songs, and some projects probably wouldnt exist. [2/27/2015 6:07:53 PM] Evan: What's your favorite project? [2/27/2015 6:10:21 PM] YV??~: Honestly, there isnt a lot of public information on Mahito but ive been working with it for 2 years, and it was actually the first thing I envisioned myself actually animating. [2/27/2015 6:11:00 PM] Evan: What's Mahito? [2/27/2015 6:22:17 PM] YV??~: Its something I came up with one day, I guess the best way to describe its themes in short would be Madoka-esque even though i came up with the basics including designs before i even watched it. I guess one could say its very "magical girl" though it is not a straight female cast. It follows a team of 6 highschool students, their leader being a socially withdrawn, sucidal girl whos only real support are her brother and his best friend. These 6 people are given powers and forced into a battle thats been going on for centuries, for supremacy within a group of supernatural beings known to the humans involved as "gods." Many of these gods have no regard for the people they force to fight so long as they are able to take surpremacy in someway, since they are unable to kill each other or be killed. The team has to fight both other human fighters and "monsters", that are the remains of humans who tried to rebel against their "god", which live beyond a barrier and can threaten to destroy inncent human life. At first they look at it as their chance to help people, but eventually their powers become a burden. [2/27/2015 6:24:26 PM] Evan: That sounds really interesting. How much have you done with it? [2/27/2015 6:29:45 PM] YV??~: So far I have designs and short biographies for the main cast. As well as designs for a few of the mosters they will face, and bios for a few minor characters that still have some influence on a part of the plot. A lot of what i have written besides characters is mostly world building, information on the roles and powers each member of a 6 man team can have. Descriptions of the basic behaviors of monsters on different intelligence levels. I plan to have all the designs done at the end of this year, and the timeline for the plot fully written in detail at the end of 2016. [2/27/2015 6:33:31 PM] Evan: Cool. O: I assume it's also going to be an animation? When do you think you'll start making it? [2/27/2015 6:38:45 PM] YV??~: Ive been saying since around last year or so itll come out in 2018. It was the first thing I considered animating seriously, things before that where like that would be cool, or this scene could be animated. But this, i decided, this was going to be fully animated, i tried to start it out in a static format just to get things laid out to be adapted into an animation, but it never worked. While 2018 may be a little too ambitious, this is going to be nothing but animated [2/27/2015 6:44:46 PM] Evan: I see. [2/27/2015 6:46:57 PM] YV??~: yeh