#i gotta put plot on plot on plot and glue it all together with *emotions* boo

[ronearoundblindly]

WHY HAS THIS BEEN SO HARD TO WRITE IN READER'S POV???

Big Girls Don't Cry

CEO!Steve Rogers x co-CEO!Reader from It Had To Be You series

prompt from this dirty ask game, and I'll give you a hint--they absolutely do cry, and in this instance, Steve, uh, really likes it.

Summary: It goes against everything his Ma taught him, and his every instinct to protect, but Steve is willing to comfort you in any way you please after a horrible meeting ruins your mood.

Warnings for smuuuuuuuuuut, and we do not waste a single sentence of lead-in. This is a little rougher than usual for these two, and it took an angsty turn, which I guess means I will have to write a makeup for them... MINORS DNI. Kiddos and my delicate flowers, you can find something else to delight you on my Light Masterlist, but not here. WC ~1.1k

"I know, precious, I know," Steve soothes with a rough grip to your shoulder, keeping you from sliding farther across the satin bed sheets as his hips wetly slap your ass. "Let it out, sweetheart."

The arch of your back deepens when you bury your face and sob. He continues to keep his pace steady, just like he promised.

Steve sits up, adjusting his knees until his thrusts visibly shove your jiggling ass higher, and slowly pets that broad hand down your sweaty spine.

"That's it," he whispers.

Peppered in with your tears are grunts of anger. He understands only a little, but after the morning's disaster of a meeting, he'll do anything to make up for his blunder.

You take over and bounce on his length, pumping him with your tight pussy while Steve eagerly watches himself disappear and reemerge shinier with your dripping arousal.

This...shouldn't be the hottest sex you two have ever had. He should feel awful about walking you into a conference room of chauvinists, encouraging you to ignore their snide comments, and whiffing the opportunity to stick it to them.

You did everything he should have, and now he has to grovel in whatever position you demand. He can't question or argue. He can't comment on the how loudly you cry for him to fuck you harder. He can't mention that he found you hiding in your old apartment, curled on the couch, soaking the sleeves of a baggy sweatshirt with your tears. He can't take time to parse how you went from that to jumping in his arms, to ripping off his clothes, to pushing him into the bedroom, and to presenting your bare sex.

Who is he to argue? Steve is but a man in love...

God, it feels like your sucking his soul out of his body though. His face is scalding with desperate embarrassment that he really likes how this afternoon took a turn.

He's not going to last if you keep this up, so his goal changes from glorified fuck-boy to proper boyfriend. Steve can only take so much crying from anything other than pleasure. Your frustration has to be mostly worked out by now, right?

"Come 'ere, precious," he gasps, holding your hips still as he leans to kiss your shoulder. His arm threads beneath you and lifts, pinning your back to his front and stretching both of you to face the headboard.

He painted you that picture which hangs above it. He's noticing it's askew, probably from the repeated smack of your bed upon the wall. Steve resolves to fix that later.

Instead, he keeps his arm locked beneath your breasts, free hand snaking down between your legs and slapping gently. He can feel the strike in his balls.

You yelp, and damn, he is liking this.

He smacks again, softer this time, like a kitten swat for your undivided attention. "Give me a big one," he rumbles, beard scratching at the column of your neck where he licks a stripe. "Please."

The begging never fails to make you whine. Steve knows this, so he keeps pleading for you to come while his slick fingers circle your clit. He can touch the base of his cock in those same strokes, nudging at your sweet spot with pointed ruts from behind.

Shit, he's close.

Your mewls are tinged with sadness, your head falling back against his pec, eyes closed with tears still escaping the corners.

"Hey, hey, look at me, baby."

A slow, heavy gaze locks onto his.

"Fuck those guys. You are everything, precious. Everything."

Steve hopes you can't hear the unhinged crack to his voice as he feels his orgasm wrenching through his gut.

He lowers his lips to yours to mutter "I love you" against them and spanks your mound one last time before he loses control, cum leaking into the condom, threatening to fill to the brim.

The band in your belly snaps, too, tensing your body in his arms, forcing him to hold you up as your legs curl forward and off the mattress.

Steve keeps a slow, steady pace of rubbing again, swallowing your powerful moans in a greedy kiss, letting himself fall back to his heels and come hard with you.

"Beautiful," he praises. "So perfect..."

Your limbs jolt while you ride out the aftershocks, and he moves his hand to press you flush with him, no need for the sharp angle of your spine when he slips out easily now.

But you're still crying when he lowers you to rest on your side. Your body immediately shrinks like it was on the couch.

"Shhh, my good girl," Steve tries. "It's okay. You're alright."

He sees you shiver and scrambles to find the blanket, tucking it around you but not giving you space to hide your face.

He cups your cheek so you can't cover your eyes either, thumb sweeping across the wet streaks left behind, asking if you're ready to talk to him about it, but you shake your head.

"I love you," you do say. "I just hate you a little right now."

Steve frowns.

He shouldn't have given in. He shouldn't have taken the bait. He knew this wouldn't fix anything.

He thought you needed it, though, thought you needed him. He wants to be needed. He thrives on being needed by someone so independent.

Professionally, Steve's always been needed for his products, his poise, his persistence. Personally, he feels like nothing but a burden.

That feeling crossed over today, and he hated himself just a little, too.

He cleans himself up, returns to wipe you gently with a warm cloth, and drapes a fluffy towel over you to layer under the blanket, worried that the overhead fan you insist stays on will give you chills from sweating.

He's not leaving, and he tells you as much before settling to face you on the pillows.

When you don't answer, your eyes open but staring down and away from him, he offers, "I can't go back in time, precious, but I can promise I will never kowtow to men like that ever again."

You huff judgingly.

"I'll believe that when I see it, Rogers."

He'll take it, begrudgingly, but Steve lives to fight another day for your renewed respect. For the moment, all he can do is vow to succeed or die trying.

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk]

Sarazanmai - Thoughts

I’ve been hearing so much hype about the ending, and I just watched the end. I’m just going to voice some candid thoughts. That’s why I call it “thoughts”; it isn’t a proper review or anything.

Long story short: 

It was a pretty good series! It wasn’t amazing or anything, but it was fun to watch for the most part. I couldn’t take it seriously at times, but I still found myself invested in it at some points. The art was nice, the music was great, and the voice acting was pretty good too! I would recommend this series to people who like kappas, drama, and butts.

Kunihiko Ikuhara is credited with directing many masterpieces (that I haven’t watched) including Revolutionary Girl Utena (which he also created), Sailor Moon R, Sailor Moon S, Mawaru Penguindrum, and more. His work is praised by a lot of people in the anime community, and he does have a lot of talent. He incorporates themes that aren’t usually seen in anime which is fully present in Utena where childhood idealism, illusions, ambition, adulthood, sexuality, abuse, and identity are all prominent themes. Many regular tropes are known to be deconstructed. When people heard he was making Sarazanmai, a lot of people were excited! A stacked cast, Ikuhara himself, and the MAPPA production team? It was already set up for greatness.

But after all that hype, what’s left? I found myself a little disappointed after getting myself a little too excited. It wasn’t like other series where I went in with no expectations or other series where I actually did go in with high expectations that were delivered. I went in with these expectations, it delivered somewhat, and now I find myself with a slightly unsatisfied feeling.

Three boys accidentally break a statue then are tasked with becoming kappas and fighting zombies. They do this to return to their human form. At first, these three seem unconnected, but over time, secrets are revealed. They eventually accept the risks to collect dishes which can grant a wish. This is the sarcastic fantasy of three boys who don't feel connected to their important ones, getting to realize the real meaning of bonds.

[Paraphrased from MAL]

It came off as being completely weird and bizarre, and it stays that way. In a way, it’s quirkiness was its strong-suit, but it finally got down to the drama and conflict in the story, I found myself not finding it seriously. The writing itself wasn’t bad, but with its art style and with its already outlandish plot, it ultimately made me feel a bit confused. When they had scenes that were supposed to evoke emotions, I couldn’t quite feel it right.

Especially when there’s a kappa in the frame. I kind of thought, “How am I supposed to feel when there’s this staring at me?”

I found that the only emotional scenes that even slightly hit the mark were the ones where all characters were in human form. Yeah, that’s right. I just said kappas ruin the mood. 

Character: No! Don’t die! Me: *chuckles* he’s a fricking kappa.

Everything towards the end felt a little melodramatic. Don’t get me wrong, I can be down for melodrama. I’m that person who enjoyed Kiznaiver. I just felt like this series was episodic for the most part with a bit of sprinkling of the main story, and I couldn’t have done it any differently. I just felt like something was missing. Reo and Mabu’s storyline was only riveting towards the end. For the majority of the series, they are shrouded in mystery then we get a wham of backstory and stuff over the last few episodes before the climax with Hosoya and Mamo hit.

Speaking of voice acting, they kept Kouki Uchiyama to play the kid version of his character, and I didn’t mind that. The main trio was okay! Shun Horie, Ayumu Murase, and Kouki Uchiyama did great jobs! Ayumu does a great job voicing the darker and lighter moments (as expected since watching 5 episodes of Devilman). I feel like Ayumu and Kouki didn’t really do a role that was that much out of their zone. Kouki plays another edgy “cinnamon roll” while Ayumu plays another energetic boy (like Hinata from Haikyuu). I don’t know what Horie did in other anime though.

Mamo and Hosoya surprised me towards the end, but surprisingly, I would’ve directed one of Mamo’s lines differently during episode 10. I won’t say which one, but I felt like the character didn’t portray emotion properly. Besides that, those two have acted in so much together. The music they provided was great (even though there were only two songs).

The art was okay! It was very out-there, new, and fresh, but it wasn’t stand out enough that when I watched it, I went, “HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE”. It was nice, fluid, and it was definitely... sexual. I haven’t seen so much butt and a**s (b-hole) stuff.

The music was really catchy! I know Yukari Hashimoto for composing the music for Toradora, 3-Gatsu no Lion, Gekkan Shoujo, and a few other things. While I can’t always say that her music sticks like glue, I can say that there are certain tracks that still resonate with me. I gotta admit, the quality of the overall series affects how much I like an OST. This one was repetitive enough (with its episodic nature) to be catchy.

Oh yeah, the ED by the Peggies was better (for me) than Kimi no Sei from Seishun Buta Yarou (which I didn’t really like... please don’t kill me). The opening was so much fun. I really liked it. It ranks up there with that Naruto OP. I can feel its significance growing, and I listened to it more than once (which is rare for me)

Anyways, I can’t be the only one who had a hard time really getting with the drama of this series. It was pretty good... it wasn’t great, but I still enjoyed watching this. Unlike most anime series, this ends on a good note.

I would rate this a 7.5/10 (rounding it up to an 8 on MAL)

Spoiler Part:

Toi went to a juvenile detention centre for three years but for which crime? If you murder someone and tried as an adult, that’s an automatic 20+ years. If it was truly self-defence, he would’ve been pardoned. So, what was he exactly charged for?

Reo and Mabu were great, and I didn’t realize their greatness until the end because their side plot was put off until the end. Mamo mostly did a good job. Hosoya’s role wasn’t as tasking as maybe some of his other ones. I’m just glad to see Hosoya singing and working together with Mamo. I think we all wanted to see that.

I still can’t take kappas seriously. Have we learned anything from Arakawa Under the Bridge?

The ending was great though. I found that saved its rating because some anime end so badly that it goes from a 9 to a 4 real fast (nothing beats reading what happened in Usagi Drop which continues to be a scar on my mind that bursts out bleeding whenever remembered)