#i guess in the grand scheme of things that's not terrible

[msburgundy]

my arms are absolutely destroyed after what can only be generously described as a very modest number of pushups yesterday lol

[wonderfullyinlovewithlife]

I love my man Klaus Mikaelson, but as Christmas time approaches, can we please admit that he would be terrible at gift-giving? Every time we see him give someone (Caroline) something, though sweet (Dresses, diamonds, etc), it is a little impersonal. She liked them because our girl is a fashionista first, but that doesn't change the fact he's given tons of other girls similar things and has figured out what the women like, generally speaking (he has a type, this goes for his type). If you were seeing him and it was Christmas time, I'm willing to bet that he'd roll up to your apartment, knock on the door, walk in without waiting for you to open it (of course), and present to you a tennis bracket made of blood diamond the size of a kidney stone.

He has an empire to run and people to terrorize. He would not be wandering around Barns and Nobles trying to find the latest copy of a book you wanted to read. Elijah would. Definitely, this is Elijah's territory. But Klaus wouldn't, I don't think it would even occur to him to compel one of the younger vampires who is sired to him to go out looking for little things like that which you would like. He's all big action. Big declarations. Big shows of love. Either it's super serious or apathetically casual with him, our man does not do balance.

I feel that if he knew you liked books, he'd get you something awe-inspiring, like, say, Shakespeare's first folio, and it would be grand and big and beautiful, but it would be, at the end of the day, impersonal. these would all be gifts that, though very nice, would be unspecific in the grand scheme of things. any girl would be thankful for something as big as what he'd give, he's hard to turn down, and I guess he knows that.

[scintillyyy]

anyways i guess the idea that it's so sad that tim didn't get a bruce who like laughed and joked and piggybacked as if those are the most important things and a huge loss to me is very. idk i guess i don't see those kinds of things as that important in the grand scheme of things. bruce was changed, yes, he was more serious and less jovial and sometimes worse and a little terrible, but who he is after he was changed is still as important and special and worth having a relationship with as who he was before. and the bruce he became afterwards is the bruce that tim needed and enjoyed and got to play golf with and eat tuna sandwiches with and tim may not have gotten piggyback rides, but tim was an important part of bruce learning to live and move forth again after tragedy and that's just as special and amazing and powerful as any piggyback ride. it's a different kind of special bond, for sure, but to diminish it in favor of a halcyon nostalgia as something that would have been "better" rather than seeing them as equal and special in their own ways man idk. sometimes it's important to see the worth in the person you know now with all their experiences not just lament the person they used to be.

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Bumblezzzz - Thoughts

This episode airs on TV tomorrow, but was released online in the PBS Kids Video App. So if you're planning on watching it on television, or unable to access the videp app, you may want to scroll off for spoilers

I was aware some bees come in blue (hi Martin). But GREEN???? The fuck?

The epitome of "waking up and choosing chaos."

I envy Chris's organized manner.

Bros went from Salamander Streaming to a Salamander Snack ☠️

This raises - so many questions and thoughts.

Apparently there is a "Villain Weekly" magazine that is sold in copies? I mean there's a Finding Your Inner Villain Seminar so I guess that tracks but... just how many people are stanning, supporting, and funding these villains who, I should specify, NEARLY FLATTENED THE AMAZON. You can't just... walk backwards from that without a serious career-and-possibly-life-ending PR disaster.

(Actually I just remembered that Elon Musk exists and has his share of supporters despite how awful he is to the point where it borders on cartoonish, which I guess kinda tracks here)

2. The magazine has a picture of Donita on it, which implies that it's about her. Why would Donita have a COPY of a magazine featuring her? Why would she have to buy it. Do I not know enough about advertisements in the magazine industry?

3. Why would Donita trust Zach with anything? ANYTHING? He regularly gets his inventory mangled by the enemy every week as a result of his own ineptitude and often steals whenever said inventory is too shitty for his own good. She really shouldn't be surprised that he forgot to give it back.

4. Donita canonically lives in New Hampshire. Zach lives in Massachusets. That is an hour and a half away just by driving. Even if Zach isn't by his mansion, still he could've just flown his plane over to Donita's mansion. Or if he was too lazy, he could've hired his bots to do so. Inversely, Donita could've just come and have the manequins collect.

5. DONITA THREATENING ZACH WITH MOB VIOLENCE BY SICCING DABIO ON HIM IF HE DOESN'T RETURN THE BOOK WHAT THE HELL???

I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, this is the same person who quite possibly forced Martin to undress and into new clothing whilst he was in suspended animation in her debut appearance (and also sicced Dabio onto him when he resisted), nearly drove lemurs to extinction all over a dress in the Season 3 finale, attempted to skin salamanders alive for a fire-proof suit in S5, and oh yeah, was instrumental in the attempted destruction of the Amazon Rainforest. But still, this was so out of nowhere, and the fact that Dabio smiles; (and remember, according to Season 3, his ancestors have been working with the Donatas for generations, so this shit was a family business) This one scene, if all others haven't, single handedly manage to show Donita and Dabio as arguably the most brutal, nasty, and vile villains. It's just one scene, but I see these guys in a pretty different light now.

Also, I mentioned this before. If she's willing to do all that previous stuff mentioned above for her own gain, if she's willing to do this to Zach over a petty book loan, what the heck is she gonna do to Paisley when she finds out about her betrayal? What's she gonna do to Rex if he eventually redeems himself?

As someone who has made it my legal obligation to analyze the timeline in Wild Kratts, I will definitely say that this episode takes place on June 20th, the first day of the summer season. That means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I don't even think I should explain how terrible of an idea this is.

This is plain biology and a fact of life, but since they missed the opportunity to make a Bee Movie reference, I will take this as such as compensation.

Because I didn't say it earlier, I'll say it now: Bumblebees are so. Fucking. Cute.

AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

Not enough screengrabs to convey this but the brothers are obviously trolling Zach here and I love it.

For all of you angst writers, here's some new ammo. Because I'm fairly certain that this can unoequivically KILL a human being if bumblebees were as big as us. In fact between this episode, and the next episode, Chimpanzee and Me, I'm convinced that the only reason Zach's robots are henchmen is so that the brothers can get away with being as violent as fuck towards them in so many beautifully creative ways without any actual bloodshed.

The fuck even is this episode 😭😭

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The humor, once again, is amazing. It didn't get in as much laughs as the previous one, but still.

The Bumblebee Suit. It's such a breath of fresh air from the more uncanny looking Creature Power Suits in the modern seasons

Bumblebees are indeed highly endangered. It's good that this episode brings light on that and how important it is to protect them

CONS:

This entire episode's plot goes by... way too damn fast. Seeing the bros immediately get themselves into the jam, and then also immediately seeing Zach, and even the brothers quickly explaining bee features to Aviva. It all feels like this episode is just on fast-forward, even though it's a regular-length episode. It really could've been paced better.

Zach's motivations are stupid as ever, and he is at his peak bitchiness here. But again, the fact that such cartoonishly bullshit evil like this happens in the real world (which WK cleverly delivers a giant middle finger towards), and the fact that Zach gets his ass kicked for his genuinely awful plan mitigates a LOT of damage.

Final Ranking: 7/10. Still pretty good. I've been anticipating a Bumblebee episode for the past year after seeing leaks of a magazine featuring the Creature Power Suit, and it did not disappoint.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I admire you so much for being able to share your experiences as an aro ace. It’s so funny, because most of my community knows I’m aro ace, but like, I’m so scared of sharing my personal experience and I think it’s because of how much it hurts to think of that part of my life.

The number of years I spent thinking I was broken because I didn’t feel any kind of attraction to others, forcing myself to date in the hopes that it would “just click” like people kept telling me, getting stressed and mentally distraught when I tried to force myself to show any sort of affection… It’s a hard thing for me to relive a lot of that. I very distinctly remember trying to kiss a guy I was dating that I didn’t want to kiss, but felt I needed to. I spiraled into such a bad panic attack that I drove two hours in a terrible blizzard just so I could get back home to what I felt was a safe place.

I think the hardest part for me was people not understanding my aro ace-ness. The difficulties of simply having a male friend around and having to listen to people constantly ask me if I have a crush on them, then acting as if I’m being coy when I say no (even though there’s no indication of that in my voice). I started dreading inviting my friend to events for that specific reason.

When I did try to date, all it did was add more stress to my life. I was constantly expected to be spending every free moment I had with these guys, and I didn’t want to do that. I don’t think it clicked with my family until I broke down in a hysterical sob one day because of how much guilt-tripping was being done to me when I told them I didn’t want to hang out with him.

And the icing on the cake… the number of times I’ve been told to find a partner because “they don’t want me to reach 50 and be alone and miserable.” To be told that romance is the only way you’ll find true happiness… it’s painful. To be told that the things that bring you joy are not true happiness, that your platonic relationships mean nothing in the grand scheme of things… it hurts far more than anyone realizes.

I should probably stop here, ‘cause I’m getting all choked up, but I guess the bottom line is, thank you so much for sharing your experience and making me feel validated. It means so much to me. Keep being awesome, my friend 💕

I'm so sorry for all the hardships... I recognize myself so much in a lot of what you're sharing. I hate in particular that people act like "ending up alone and miserable" is 100% on you, like THEY don't have a say in that and a role to play in that and they're not basically actively contributing to that alienation RIGHT NOW. If people cared about anything beyond a sexual or romantic partner and kids, if people remembered that friendship is a thing and it's a thing that oughta matter, that would solve the problem much better than forcing everyone to conform against their will.

The only reason I feel comfortable enough to say I'm aroace at this point is because one day when I was 21, a girl I told it to just replied "Oh, okay", which was the first time in my life I ever got a reply like this and not a slew of questions or dismissal. That made my brain explode. In a good way. I'll always be grateful for her, she probably will never know how much. She opened up the door for me to be vocal about myself more confidently and build the invaluable support system of friends, and my partner, and my family, that I have today, and that in turn works as a virtuous circle.

And the only reason I feel comfortable sharing it in the form of comics now is because I did once in 2022 during asexual awareness week just to try some vent art for fun, and people didn't ignore it, or didn't dismiss it, but actually reacted positively to it. That encouraged me to make more. The reason I'm this comfortable and vocal about it online today is thanks to you guys here reading this. Having a positive reaction to what IS pretty much vent art disguised as comedy also shows me I'm not alone. This whole thing is mutual. So thank YOU, and thanks to anyone reading my stuff, for also making me feel validated.

[sepublic]

            What gets me about Luz and Hunter’s reunion in Clouds on the Horizon is that she’s being nice!!! She’s trying to be nice! When she brings up Hunter being a Grimwalker so casually, she’s showing him that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, Luz is being supportive that way!

            So when Hunter spits back whether she told the others about helping Belos, it just comes across as cruel like. You can feel the way Luz flinches internally at that. She’s just trying to help and now you’re making Luz feel shitty about her own trauma? And obviously Luz isn’t to blame for it, but I dunno Hunter you being a clone of a witch hunter, while bad, is not comparable to Luz giving Belos THE load-bearing component for his entire rise to power, dictatorship, and genocidal plan. Especially when you’re about to see how nobody judges Amity for getting DNA from her genocidal mother who’s involved in that exact same plot.

            I guess more charitably, Hunter was asking Luz to see if her friends were okay with her, to verify if they’re okay with him. But it also comes across as Hunter implying he does lowkey judge her for it, or think Luz is responsible. And I guess his logic is consistent with himself but then at the start of S3! Luz is so fucked up about her friends hating her, and after Luz took Hunter’s place to save his life and ended up traumatized for it, Hunter attempts to reassure her… Only to immediately pivot the subject to his trauma and his secret and how he’s afraid the others will hate him. Making it about himself.

            Luz and Hunter’s dynamic in S3 just came across as… the worst of everyone’s, because it was this maladaptive echo chamber of poor decision making. Where they just fed into each other’s worst fears and encouraged isolating themselves from the others when discussing it, so they couldn’t get any help from that; Almost this vibe of, “Nobody else will love us for this, but at least we can love each other!” It’s not really solace, it’s the opposite. But it feels more like they’re just sticking together out of the obligation of the shared trauma they went through, this curse, more than actual happiness or choice.

            It was actually deeply toxic and people don’t acknowledge it enough; Hunter wasn’t really being Luz’s big brother, he was lowkey dragging her down to his level to keep himself company, like a tar pit. Like I guess he was alike his uncle in that sense, as well as making Luz feel worse about this thing she didn’t have any real responsibility over. In the grand scheme of their screentime, there’s Separate Tides, where they were enemies… Hunting Palismen… A text… Hollow Mind, and then Clouds on the Horizon onwards where they make their trauma pact.

            What gets me is that by Thanks to Them, we actually see Hunter get to feel better about being a clone, realizing it no longer has any bearing on him, getting to be happy and excited with Cosmic Frontier… Hunter’s getting better but Luz is getting worse, having suicidal ideation and reaching her lowest point when she makes the decision to exile herself. It makes their scene together in the basement sweet but just affirming of the problem; Luz is comforting Hunter, telling him he’s family.

            But then he’s not really returning the favor by realizing, Oh hey if I feel better about this, so should Luz! It feels like an inverse of Hunter asking Luz about her own secret back in S2; Luz is trying to validate Hunter over his trauma but he feels terrible so he also makes Luz feel worse. Now, Hunter’s feeling better about his trauma but can’t offer the same to Luz.

           It gets even worse because when Luz and Hunter initially find out/consider that Belos is alive, Luz suggests getting their friends to help, but then Hunter insists they have to do it alone; Luz is trying to at least let her friends help here, but Hunter enables her problem! And then does it again at the Gravesfield Halloween festival, before leaving Luz behind in the woods! Now granted we do see how Belos can subtly influence Hunter. But his eyes weren’t glowing during those moments, Luz doesn’t notice anything amiss like she had that one time, and in the end it tracks with Hunter’s general behavior.

           Eventually Hunter does the whole “You were tricked, it would’ve been done through anyone else, at least you’re here to fight!” but only after confirming Luz’s friends were chill about it, instead of deciding Screw it I support you no matter what!!!

            I’m torn between liking the idea of a scene where Hunter acknowledges what he did to Luz, VS not really needing anymore Hunter screentime so like. Eugh. At least in the next special, Hunter’s arc involves gaining an awareness of how he’s making it about himself and needs to focus on his friend, via Willow; So I suppose the idea was conveyed in spirit without having to be in exact word. In the end, Luz and Hunter found happiness and acceptance over their traumas AWAY from one another, via other people in their lives. Otherwise they were bad for each other, with Hunter being worse.

            Jeez. Lilith almost killed Luz but somehow her behavior feels more apologetic, and it helps that she spends a lot of time uplifting Luz when she can, and didn’t contribute to the girl having a suicidal depression; It took only two weeks for Lilith to begin supporting Luz, she even left for a while to fix her own health without making Eda’s kids deal with the fallout of the process! And of course Lilith and Luz having the time of their lives when time traveling, Lilith giving Luz genuine advice.

            Meanwhile, Luz has done everything for Hunter; She helped kickstart his arc, she gave him Flapjack, her friends helped Hunter and they likely wouldn’t have been in the headspace to do so without the development Luz sparked for them! She swapped places with Hunter to save his life and then got deeply traumatized for it, and continues to be supportive of him. But what has Hunter done for Luz, in the grand scheme of what I just mentioned? He told Luz how it wasn’t her fault after two months, after waiting for others to say it, and in the end it was Camila who got through to her. I guess a parasitic connection involving the idea of Luz doing things for him but not the other way around really does give Hunter another parallel to his uncle!

[allwormdiet]

Sentinel 9.1

Weld's lucky he's endearing, bc oh my god the ways he manages to step in it this arc

Bro, the city has been kaiju'd to hell, everyone who could use the airports to get out has gotten out, no money is gonna be made any time soon so business isn't happening, and nobody is dumb enough to come to Brockton Bay for pleasure right now. No shit the airport is empty. I'm more surprised that you're surprised by that.

Hey Piggot, sorry your job has gotten like a million times more stressful, hope you're hanging in there

Is robbing part of an airport profitable? That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about airports or robbery to dispute it.

Also it's interesting to see economics and class inequality come up again, especially in the context of disaster response and response to disasters. The gap between rich and poor only gets wider in times of crisis, and the gap was already pretty fucking wide.

So, finally the PRT power classifications get laid out, having been introduced in Interlude 6 and mentioned again in 8.7. And it's mentioned explicitly as something that was used to sort out villains before eventually getting applied to heroes as well. Presumably an effort to know how to respond in case a hero goes off the rails, or maybe just trying to find more justifications to use the system. Dunno. Don't think it matters a ton in the grand scheme of things, trying to shove every power into a neat labeled box seems unproductive after a certain point.

Also yeah "Brute" is a bit of an unfortunate choice, with the additional yikes factor that they were specifically using it to describe villains at first. Like oh, don't worry about dishing out the punishment, it's a Brute after all.

I think Armsmaster would sooner chew off his other arm than retire, so there's definitely a story there

Also yeah Flechette locked in, as expected

This is the only real thing I can ding Piggot's standing for, I don't think it's hard to tell that a friendly rivalry would mean nothing in this context, so the fact that she's coming down on it for even existing feels like an overreaction. Then again, she's trying to bail out a battleship with a bucket, being humorless is hardly the worst offense in a time like this

"They weren't strictly homeless because they were squatting in abandoned commercial and industrial buildings" is certainly a perspective. When they talk about the intentions of Leviathan, it almost makes me wonder if the Docks were targeted to exacerbate things, get more people pissed and hurting and desperate. Between this, being able to target cities based off of social instability and potential media coverage, and possibly trying to eat or free Noelle, that's a lot of different factors possibly urging this attack and its behavior during said attack, and it might just be all of them at once. That's fucking freaky.

Also I think there was a mild slip-up here, calling Moist a Shifter instead of, I'm assuming, a Changer.

Shaper instead of Changer again

Interesting that Hookwolf is the head of the second Empire successor group, wonder if Krieg just didn't have the drive for leadership or got killed after the Endbringer stuff (thus not showing up on the memorial). Also mildly surprised that he's got the biggest number of parahumans.

The fact that the Pure have been rejected "for the time being" raises my hackles though, I've gotta be real. If the Protectorate/PRT actually stoop low enough to cooperate with fucking Nazis I'm gonna start feeling a lot less charitable

So three Masters is Skitter, Bitch, and Regent. I would guess that Skitter is the one they're concerned about, knowing Shadow Stalker's face, and that the other two would be who they consider possible sociopaths.

"Faultline's Crew" is a terrible name honestly. Coil and Faultline both just suck at naming teams...

Also 12 is the highest number we see here, which I guess means Labyrinth is on paper the most busted cape in the city. Good for her.

That's gotta fucking suck, never having a moment away from prying eyes whenever you're in public. How much of this is Weld being a champ and how much of this is Weld being resigned to this being his life?

That. Is rough.

So, that's something interesting. There's an interesting dichotomy between how parahumans can utterly wipe the floor against regular human combatants, even facing 25-to-1 odds with no purely defensive abilities (Grue's darkness can't stop a lucky hit) and coming out of it totally clean, and now there's this concern. We know that the early independent heroes got their shit rocked, Vikare got killed by a blow to the head during a sports riot of all things, so is there an upper limit on how many humans a parahuman can face at once? Does it hinge on how many parahumans are working together to face the threat, like could Grue only take on ten guys on his own if Skitter and Gregor and Spitfire hadn't been there to watch his back?

I'm probably overthinking this, but Piggot apparently considers it worth worrying about, so I won't dismiss the topic out of hand. Parahumans seem to end up above, below, or otherwise apart from the rest of humanity, and that separation could prove troublesome.

Gotta be strange to have your boss act like your dad, but needs must when you don't even remember who you are.

Also yeah fingers crossed Piggot holds to principles here, she doesn't seem the type but I've been disappointed before

Jesus Christ that's a really long-term plan. They've been at this since what, the late 80s?

Also interesting that the terminology uses is stated in-universe to be dated

So what's the "core" Protectorate team in this context? Is that at or above the standing that Armsmaster had before he derailed his own career? Are we talking Triumvirate level, or is there a middle ground I'm not aware of?

I also really really want to know what the meme was involving Weld, that's such a specific thing to have happen

I'm shocked that this would be considered frivolous. That's the kind of opportunity you'd normally seize with both hands, the idea of waving it off seems bizarre. Do they need the Wards too much to fight homicidal supervillains and disarm megaton bombs to let them *checks notes* get more kinds of training in? That feels shortsighted.

Then again a lot of things in Brockton Bay seem shortsighted. The greatest threat against Coil's grand scheme is his own impulsiveness (although easy money says that Taylor will become his biggest problem down the line), the Empire for some reason bothered with petty street crime and protection rackets while being run by, really cannot overstate this, the CEO of a pharmaceutical corporation that was doing well enough to have an entire skyscraper, and Lung put in like 1% of the effort he could've given to running the city. Maybe nobody is coming up with five-year plans because nobody is confident they'll live another five years, or maybe it's something in the water supply.

This is funny but it's so fucking rude, oh my God

Oh Weld, Weld no, do not think about Shadow Stalker like that, she'd corrode your dick off your body with her personality.

Oh, Weld. You have put your foot in your mouth already.

This story takes a pretty dim view of humanity, honestly. Poisoning an entire apartment block with chlorine gas just so you can loot it and take over feels extreme; I'm not gonna say it could or would never happen, unfortunately people are just as capable of evil as they are of good and there's not really a limit to how far either of those things can go, but for me at least it's somewhat curious that we don't hear more about any altruists in the city outside of the Protectorate; there would have to be good Samaritans somewhere in the mix, and not even most of them would've already been stabbed or beaten to death by opportunists.

Maybe that's just the perspective the Wards are giving us, but call me crazy, I don't think Taylor is going to be any more optimistic about how things are going.

Also, Clockblocker is jumping down Weld's throat here, but he's not strictly wrong. He's coming into this fresh-faced, having not dealt with any of the aftermath of Leviathan. The strain being put on these kids is intense, not least with the losses that the Protectorate suffered and the teammates they're still grieving. Fifteen hour patrols, Jesus Christ.

Bro got owned by a thirteen-year-old.

How did he not get briefed on the dead Wards? How did he not already look them up for himself? Someone, I think multiple someones, dropped the ball there. I'm also surprised that Weld even asked the question instead of just drawing his own conclusions or looking into it when nobody could catch him being a fool.

Current Thoughts

I do not envy Weld for the situation he's being thrown into. Whatever happens in Boston is clearly a different kind of ballgame from what they're doing here in Brockton Bay, and he has not been read into it yet.

I don't envy any of the Wards, this might be the most thankless position anyone in the city might be stuck with, and none of them are even old enough to buy cigarettes or vote, but they have to fend off looters and wade through waters tainted with death and ruin for hours at a time.

How many rights do you sign away taking this job, getting your ass put on the line like this when not even the military takes kids this young into combat? I think Skitter was right, this whole arrangement blows chunks

[mikkalia]

unbound and drifting | T & Up | 2,936 | Inquisitor Cal

After escaping the Inquisitorius, former Second Brother goes to Bracca to reclaim his Master's lightsaber and hide from those hunting him. Cal Kestis Week 2025 Day One: Rebellion | "Thanks for nothing, I guess" | And Then The Dark | Bracca

Bracca. To be here again is strange. He died here it feels like. Died with blood cooling under his nails and muck caked to his knees and this terrible…pain in his chest that felt like it was consuming him whole from the inside out like a bottomless black hold. But – he stands here now, rain on his face, and muck caked to his boots, and this terrible pain in his chest that burns, and he thinks, maybe, Bracca is where he can be reborn.

And then he dismisses that thought as quickly as it comes, scoffing. An unattainable dream. Like a hope when he shouldn’t be allowed any hope at all. He doesn’t deserve it.

He made it this far and it’ll just have to be enough.

The escape pod is half-sunken into the mud. He stares at it, and nothing feels real. This pod starred in many of his nightmares, encasing him like a tomb, trapping him next to the cooling body of his Master, and yet – it doesn’t look like much. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t much. Scorched and broken, it’s not worth scrapping when there’s a much better pay day just a handful of kilometers away. He drags a gloved hand over the grimy window and peers inside before he risks ripping himself a new entrance. This place is – a hellhole, a cesspool, the perfect place for vicious creatures to thrive in, and he’s seen those scrap rats, he would very much like to avoid their teeth.

As he enters the pod, he wonders if he’ll thrive here too. They used to call him a vicious creature. Behind his back. To his face. Hidden in the professional tones of a report. It never bothered him – he wonders if it should have.

Probably threw them all through a loop when he decided to rebel. The Inquisitorius’ attack dog finally showing his teeth – to his masters.

[louisaguy]

“Diana, you really are being silly about this,” Ingrid hissed, hurrying to keep up with Diana as she did her best to power walk away from her fellow agent. And preferably out of a window.

“Oh! Well! Shall we have a little laugh, then? Ha-ha-ha!” She pressed on a little faster, a twist of glee shooting up in her when Ingrid gave a fraction of a stumble.

“Diana,” Ingrid whispered again, nearly begging as she tailed the woman she still had the audacity to be calling her friend. “Come on, now, it’s only one assignment--”

Diana stopped suddenly, scoffing to turn around and look Ingrid in the eyes. “Oh, only one assignment!” she snapped sarcastically. “You make it sound so insignificant, Ingrid, that you snaked me out of my rightful place--”

“Oh my--” Ingrid shook her head. “Do you even hear yourself? ‘Your rightful place’, like you’ve been promised the world and more, you are so full of it--”

“--As Partner’s protégé , it should be me working next to him on this assignment, not you! And not only am I being passed over, I have to endure the humiliation of not even knowing the details-- I mean, since when do you have higher clearance than I do!?”

“You’re Partner’s protégé now, are you?” Ingrid crossed her arms. “Tell me, when did he bestow that title on you? Because I was under the impression we were all working our way up the ranks, that any one of us could be in line for First or Second desk--”

Diana barked a laugh. Ingrid frowned.

“...And anyway, Diana, like I said, it’s only one assignment. I’m sure you’ll get the next one.”

“No.” Diana’s jaw locked defiantly. “It’s never just one assignment.”

And perhaps Ingrid was right. Perhaps this assignment would prove insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and Diana was here making a fuss over nothing. But a single assignment, Diana knew well, could make or break a career. And, intentional sabotage or not, it rankled with her that Ingrid-- Cartwright’s favorite, and five years Diana’s junior-- would be chosen to work with Partner, for whom Diana had been the most loyal underling of for years. The closer she got to forty-- and she was quite close now-- the more she worried about the amount of time she had left to climb in her career, and whether each new height she reached would be her peak.

And she wasn’t ready to peak yet in her current position-- reasonably high up in the service, nothing to sniff at, but not the one calling the real shots. She had her sights set on First Desk. And nothing would stop her from reaching it. Not even her so-called “friend” Ingrid, who, unfortunately for them both, also had her sights set on the top.

Diana let the fury and the frustration of the previous two hours, as she pleaded her case to Partner and was swiftly and unmercifully denied, emanate through her as she shook herself out, turning away from Ingrid and continuing down the hall to her office door. Ingrid trailed her again, though less urgently now that they’d had their little row, and was just starting to speak again-- saying God knows what, Diana resolved to tune her out-- when Diana swiped her keycard and opened the door to her office.

…And froze abruptly, causing Ingrid to bump into her from behind.

“Diana, what--”

Then Ingrid saw what Diana was looking at, and she froze, too.

The light was on in Taverner’s office. Not a file out of place. Except…

A child, somewhere between five and ten years old-- Diana was always terrible at guessing children’s ages-- was sitting in the big plush chair at Diana’s desk, sticking his legs out as he spun himself in a quick circle.

When he spotted the two women standing in the doorway, he caught himself against the desk, though still swayed in the seat, dizziness making his body lurch in slow rotations.

“Hi,” he said plainly.

Diana, who was already not having a spectacular day, didn’t bother to contain her frustration. “Why. on Earth,” she asked dangerously, narrowing her eyes at the boy. “Is there a child sitting behind my--”

Ingrid squeezed her forearm, leaning forward to whisper into her ear: “Diana, hush. It’s baby Cartwright.”

And. Well. That changed things, then, didn’t it? She gave the child a once-over again. Young as he was, he seemed well behaved judging by the state of the office, the only thing out of place a pen and a doodle-covered paper sat in front of him. And now that it was pointed out to her, she could spot the resemblance to the Old Bastard in the boy-- his calm stillness that felt almost eerie in a child, his blue eyes wide and seemingly all-knowing. He immediately unnerved her.

She bit out a dazzling grin.

“Well, of course!” The forced cheerfulness in her voice made Diana want to choke on her own tongue. “Hello, young Cartwright.”

“My name’s River.” The boy pulled his sneakered feet up onto Diana’s chair, tucking them underneath him so that he could kneel to peer over the tall desk, and she had to choke back her reprimand-- do you have any idea how much that chair costs?

“Of course,” Diana said again. She already had a tension headache flaring up. “What a… lovely name.”

River made a face. “I don’t like it,” he told her, as if letting her in on a great and serious secret. “Granddad says my mum was in her ‘hippie phase’.”

“...Ah,” Diana said, unsure how else to respond. She had never been the most comfortable around children in general, and this particular one was even more disquieting. Both his mannerisms, uncannily similar to the man behind the curtain of everything going on at the Park, as well as his proximity to power, made Diana want him to leave very quickly.

On the other hand, his proximity to power could certainly be an asset…

“You know,” she said. “I think I’ve got a few candies in my desk drawer, if you’d like them.” In reality they were only breath mints, but she was hoping the child wouldn’t know the difference.

“Yes, please!” River chirped. He rolled himself away from the desk as Diana approached, but didn’t make a move to get up out of her chair. Damned child. “Granddad told me not to touch anything until he came back, so I didn’t snoop.”

Which meant he had definitely snooped. Diana repressed a groan, hoping whatever the little twat reported back to Daddy would make her look good, or at least not bad. At the very least, she assured herself, he wouldn’t be able to call her a slob.

“Here you are.” She deposited a few of the mints into River’s hand, though she’d done a quick count of the number in the tin and concluded that he’d already snacked on more than a few of them. “You know, you do remind me quite a bit of your grandfather.”

The boy beamed, which made him look absolutely nothing like David Cartwright. That man never smiled. Except, rumor had it, when looking after his grandson, whom he adored more than anything else in the world. More than his political power, even.

Yes, Diana was deciding. She had to find a way to please this child. If he left her office tonight upset, or even offended, she may as well kiss First Desk goodbye.

While River was occupied picking through the multicolored mints, Diana glanced up toward the door of her office again-- Ingrid had let it swing shut, but was standing near it with her arms crossed, an odd kind of amused smile on her face.

“What?” Diana whispered, coming back toward her. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” Ingrid tilted her head. “I’m just enjoying this.”

“Enjoying what?”

“Watching you suck up to a child.” Ingrid laughed. “I mean, really, Diana, he’s eight. Don’t you find this all a bit embarrassing?”

Diana made a mental note of the number. “Well, you can see yourself out, then.”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Ingrid grinned again. “This is the best thing I’ve seen all week.”

Diana ignored her and turned back to little River. Ingrid could poke fun all she liked. It wasn’t her approval that mattered-- it was Cartwright’s.

“How would you like to play a game?” She asked the boy, scouring her brain for any memories of her schoolyard days.

“Sure!” River agreed easily.

.

When Cartwirght finally came to collect his grandson an hour later, it was to the sound of River laughing. After attempting Diana’s sorry excuse for a game, he had convinced her to try one that he played at school. The boy even managed to rope Ingrid into playing, too, though neither agent could quite figure out the rules from River’s unfocused babbling (Diana suspected the rules may have well been changing based on River’s whims), so he kept beating the two of them over and over. Still, it kept him entertained until David appeared in the doorway of Diana’s office, and River hopped up to run over and happily take his hand.

She had suspected partway through the strange experience that River had been left here, in the office of one of the few high-ranking female agents in the Park, for reasons having to do with little other than her high heels, a suspicion which was confirmed when David said, “Thank you for looking after him, ladies,” in a way that made Diana’s teeth grind together so hard she thought one would crack.

But still. She kept her smile. Kept her composure. Until the OB and his grandgremlin were gone. And, all things considered, she felt she had made a fairly positive impression on the boy-- he waved goodbye to her (her, and not Ingrid), as he and his grandfather left. Hopefully that would earn her a point or two.

So, all in all, despite the horrid mess of a day that had preceded it, Diana felt overall quite satisfied with the evening’s end. At least, until Ingrid coughed next to her.

“Ahem-toady-hm.”

Diana scowled, elbowing her in the ribs.

[nohara-rin-dot-mp3]

i am doubtful that you've found her Compelling enough to really have strong onions about but i'd love to hear your thoughts on Sakura for the ask game anyway!

hiii synnie!!! don't get me wrong here i find sakura incredibly compelling i just also find her incredibly intimidating. i don't really understand her but i do have probably misguided opinions about her!!!!

first impression: mildly indignant on her behalf for all of the atrocities she has to suffer through by nature of being a heroine in naruto

impression now: i love her very badly but i have a hard time wrapping my head around her. she's fascinating on like, so many levels, but the narrative has a very hard time exploring literally anything it brings up about her. it wants her to be normal but she is literally so weird. she should be allowed to kill people. she wants to be self-sufficient but unfortunately that will never happen because the narrative just fucking hates her. so badly. she has a second personality that just gets dropped after the first half of the series. she's just so. there's so much going on there.

favorite thing about that character: i do not actually mind that sakura is a medic. it does fit her. is it annoying in the grand scheme of "all women are medics?" yes. but sakura specifically hitting that balance between violence and healing is very interesting to me.

least favorite thing: the hororrrrs let her out!!!!! every time a "perv on sakura" gag comes up i have to punch a wall it's literally not her fault but good lord!!!! set her free!!!!!!!

favorite line/scene: i really like when she decides to poison everyone and then go kill sasuke on her own it's absolutely deranged behavior. i actually just love everything about that section she's so completely unhinged the entire time and it's like played as romance on her part?? which like yeah i guess. but hear me out that wasn't very normal behavior of her.

favorite interaction that character has with another: i love her dynamic with naruto they bite each other... i like that she's allowed to be feral and kick him around like he is a chew toy. especially when sasuke's gone and the two of them descend into almost perfectly parallel despair alkdsaglfd they're so funny to me... when kakashi like. says his name. and then both of them fall to the ground in tears. that was the good stuff.

character that I wish that character would interact with more: god i WISH sakura/kakashi parallels were like. intentional or elaborated on. they're the people who are left behind. like not only would it be so nice to see sakura get some actual training from that guy i'd also love to see them just INTERACT!!!! least existent inner team seven duo dynamic i would kill to see more canon interactions between them.

character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: kam flower that bloomed nowhere. it's the morals that seem kind of normal until you examine them and realize that they are deranged. and the desperate scramble to be the Normal Sane Girl.

headcanon about that character: her parents die during the orochimaru/suna invasion and she never tells anyone because she just can't find the right way to do it. that'd be awakaaaard plus the rest of them already don't have parents what are they gonna do??? throw her a party?? she also doesn't really see herself as an orphan or believe that she needs sympathy or aid because she's an adult when they die (12. but allowed to kill people!!!)

song that reminds of that character: that's why i gave up on music by yorushika

unpopular opinion about that character: that she's a person?? that she's just a human and not like, evil??? that she's an interesting character underneath the terrible writing? sakura opinions are WILD i went into her tag once and it scarred me for life people will just be saying shit about her... the narrative hates her so so badly for the sin of being a women and she can't even get it to lay off in fanon. tragic. and there's another flavor of depiction that "fixes" her that i ALSO hate because like,,, making her a girlboss/fujoshi/braincell haver is also not great. in terms of hashtag feminism. that is not a interesting character that is a cardboard cut out..... sighs.

favorite image:

really like early sakura she was always making excellent faces and showing her teeth.

[astro-nerd]

Day 16: Waterlogged

Fandom: original characters

Character: Carter

TW: blood, death

Everyone always says they hate wet socks. I can’t blame them for that especially given that your feet can heavily influence the core temperature of your body and how you feel. Everyone always told me that wet socks are the worst feeling. Your socks feel sticky and bunchy in the wrong places, your feet are cold and they take forever to dry. I always kinda wondered if everyone was exaggerating, as if everyone was in on this big cosmic joke that I didn’t understand. Then again I had never experienced wet socks. Never before had any liquid seeped into my socks onto the bottoms of my feet, in between my toes. Never before had I had to go through the discomfort of that feeling. Honestly I could’ve argued that everyone was just being silly and that wet socks are hardly a problem in the grand scheme of things. I was sure that the discomfort was blown out of proportion. I mean how terrible can wet socks really be? Surely not as bad as that time I skinned my knee. Definitely not as bad as the time I trapped my finger in the door. Those times had pain and I’d cried and what was discomfort in the face of injury and something that stung? How could so many people prefer these things over socks that can be removed so easily? Well maybe not if you’re outside and the rain is coming down while you try to make it to your destination, or if you were standing at the bus stop and forgot your umbrella. That I could understand. Then people equate those situations to spilling a glass at home and onto your socks which I don’t understand at all because why not just take off your socks and clean up? It’s the principle they say but really it makes no sense to me. Just remove your socks and your day can be happy again. I guess I just never really understood until that night when I never understood anything at all. When my mummy cried and my brother yelled all at my daddy who just seemed scared. My daddy was never scared. He had a shiny gun and stopped my little sister's cries. He said it was the only way even though mummy disagreed. He and my brother wrestled just like any other day but my brother didn’t get back up like he would have yesterday. Mummy dropped to her knees and daddy stopped her cries too. And in the end I didn’t understand why I wasn’t stopped too. When daddy’s cries were gone and the room was eerily still I walked towards my loved ones in hopes that it was all a game. Nobody stirred or cheered and I was left alone again. As I continued to stand there began a discomfort in my feet and as I looked down towards my socks I found blood painting them beneath. As the liquid soaked through into my feet and between my toes I realised that maybe those people weren’t dramatic after all.

I think I hate wet socks too.

But maybe that’s because they took me from you.

[rayomoonshine]

It has been 7 fucking years

7 years ago in August, I started my MA/PhD program.

Now, my dissertation is about 55 pages from being complete. I'm fucking exhausted. I've been in higher education for 12 fucking years because I did 3 years for my BA with a gap year in there, 2 years for my MFA, 2 years for my MA, and 5 years for my PhD. That's one year of coursework, one year of comps, and 3 years of dissertation writing.

3 years to write a dissertation. I guess that's not too terrible in the grand scheme of things, especially considering I had an entire child in the middle of that.

These 7 years have been the most transformative years of my entire life. I think it took 9 years of grad school to undo the damage of 19 years of evangelicalism, so about half the time I spent in it. I became a gods-initiated witch, a mother, finished the first draft of a novel, came out as genderqueer and bisexual, and cut out my toxic family.

I learned that hating myself only helps those who seek to oppress me, and that daring to love myself and believe that I might be good and worthy, actually, is the only worthwhile pursuit of life. A shit life where you love yourself will be ten times better than a good one with self hatred.

I learned that people will treat you as poorly as you let them. Even good people who love you need the occasional boundary reminder.

I learned that even famous academics are just people whose moms give them shit just like everybody else.

I learned that you have to love the process, not the result. And you love the process by being present and asking yourself, is this the most pleasurable way I could be doing this task?

I learned that the fear of being abandoned is at the core of every decision I have ever made. I also re-learned that I survived abandonment multiple times, and I will survive it if it happens again.

I hate that it took nearly ten years of the chrysalis of grad school for me to decide that it's ok to like myself and enjoy my life. But some people never learn that, so I'm going to be grateful I learned it at all.

[animentality]

I saw a post in the Gortash tag once, can’t remember who the op was and I could never find it again but it stuck in my head SO much, but basically it was a headcanon that Gortash, after growing up in hell, has a very disassociated view of the world and doesn’t see other people as Real People. As in, (part of) the reason he can be so immutably pragmatic and effortlessly callous when it comes to his abuses of others is that he straight up does not see the people around him as people, just dehumanised objects. And that that this is why doesn’t feel the need to justify his crimes, because to him he hasn’t done anything of any real consequence on an individual level. Like sure, he’s making “people” suffer, but their individual suffering is utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things because they are utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of things. People are just cogs and gears for his machines. Tools. Currency. Chess pieces. Playthings. Ladder rungs. Whereas Gortash himself IS a Real Person, and so if he’s been made to suffer that is Wrong. And he would not even see this as hypocrisy. (Imo this would also explain why he has his “you to the exclusion of all others” approach to Durge, because Durge is the only other Real Person to him, and therefore they can be his equal where others can’t.)

I could never stop thinking about this headcanon not because I’m the kind of person who needs to rationalise an explanation for why a favourite character committed soulless atrocities (i.e. whatever else may or may not have influenced him, Gortash committed soulless atrocities first and foremost because he is an evil compassionless terrible power-hungry person). But I liked it because of the parallels of Bane consuming souls with no regard for their previous personhood, and Gortash metaphorically “consuming souls”/using people with no regard for their personhood either. (It also just makes a lot of sense that Gortash would view people as a devil would, and you can almost draw a line between the way Raphael toys with and torments people and the way Gortash does, I guess he learned from the best 😬)

This is an excellent analysis of Gortash as a character. Right on all accounts, especially given the way he was raised by Raphael and later worshipped Bane.

Of course people are just commodities. And it goes back to the Ketheric Thorm line, how people are copper pieces to be traded by the gods.

Dehumanization is one of the best themes of Baldur's Gate, which they did fairly well, given how all the companions have elements of dehumanization and the corruption/abuse of power in their stories.

Gortash in particular, though, had it real bad. He was literally enslaved by a devil as a CHILD, and of course it's going to ruin how he sees humans.

How many humans has he seen give up their souls, when he was never given that choice?

He would think of them as fools, who want to be controlled.

And hence, a little fascist psychopath is born.

[man-down-in-hatchet-town]

THE CASE OF THE GREATER GATSBY EPISODES 20-21

Okay, so tomorrow is the release of the LAST EVER EPISODE OF GREATER GATSBY (cry with me, folks!), and while I’ve been keeping up with my listening I have fallen a bit behind with these analysis posts, largely because these last few episodes have been so jammed packed with answers that up until last week there wasn’t much theorizing to do. So while this post is about episodes 20-22, I’m writing it after having already listened to episode 23 multiple times. I’ll do my best not to spoil anything from episode 23 in the thoughts below, but there will probably be a lot less pondering and guesswork than usual.

Anyways, spoilers for episodes 20, 21, and 22 under the cut!

Okay, first things first—are Shipwrecked really going to get away with not letting us in on Ford’s secret? I couldn’t quite tell what Fig was saying when Ford cut her off, so I pulled up the transcript and it looks like she says “I can’t believe you managed to them all in—“ Which, for the life of me, sounds like absolute nonsense. I’ve spent hours trying to come up with what she could be about to say, and I’ve drawn a blank. Any ideas?

Speaking of Ford, our boy definitely needs therapy. While I understand the place his anger is coming from, probably a lot better than Ford himself does, he does need to remember that technically Fig was hired to shadow Willy as a bodyguard and was technically there on set in her capacity as a P..I. as well. I predicted from the start that Fig’s side job would clash quite badly with Ford’s trauma, and frankly I’m surprised it’s taken this long to get there. But here we are and I am sad. :(

But hopes springs anew! Mel has officially shuttered The Grapes of Wrath! This seems like another tick in my “Mel is intentionally sabotaging the movie” column. If anything, the only real evidence contradicting that theory is that it took so long for her to shut it down in the first place. Perhaps Beanslot is particularly keen on Steinbeck? Regardless, Mel is still my personal favorite suspect for writing the letters, or at least for being the person behind them (I don’t quite believe she composed any of the messages herself). I know Fig and Ford believe the threatening author and the murderer are one and the same, but we have no real evidence for that, beyond the word of the letter writer. Plenty of people could have figured out he was likely murdered, and decided to use that increase the power of their anonymous threats. Mel, for instance, could have learned from Mo Beats. And now that I know who the murderer seems to be (more on that in my next post), I’m not sure what their motive for writing the threatening letters would even be.

Moving on from all these questions, let’s talk a bit about answers. TD stole The Greater Gatsby during the night of Mel’s party to bribe his way into Bixby’s Brigade. He gave the script to Willy on the suggestion of Roger, who was keen on his movie-star wife getting arrested and joining him in prison. Guys, I love Roger. I know he’s kinda’ terrible but I just can’t help it; I guess it’s that classic Gabe Greenspan magic. And he and Willy are, in a very odd and slightly worrying way, kinda’ perfect for each other. The swelling music cue that plays every time Willy decides his dubious criminal action is actually The Most Romantic Thing ever(TM) makes me laugh. Every. Single. Time. It helps that Roger is such a silly goose that it’s impossible to imagine any of his harebrained schemes actually resulting in harm coming to his lovely wife. That’s just not the narrative vibe, I guess. Also, I was right about Dash keeping an eye on Wilhelmina on Roger’s orders! Yay me!

The other bout of answers comes from the Punchwhistle triplets and their grand reunion in Fig and Ford’s office. As expected, “George Astrum” is both Eugene Punchwhistle and the Hinge Highwayman. Except for my brief foray into “Barnaby is Eugene!” madness (look, not all of my crazy theories can be right), George has been my top candidate for Eugene since his introduction in Scott’s tapes. Meanwhile, it turns out that Lex had not been kidnapped or swept up in some epic trail of clues, but had simply gone to ground as part of the search for her missing brother. While I missed the delightful Esther Fallick, the moment where they asked Lex if she was aware she’d been recast was maybe my favorite line of the episode. Love a good bit of meta humor. Lex also gives more evidence that the writer of the threatening letters has plenty of access to the set. While this does point a finger towards the supposed killer unmasked in the next episode, it could also point to any number of other characters. I’ll probably come out of this looking very silly, but, as I said, I’m still not convinced that our killer and adaption-hater are in fact one and the same…

A Couple of Other Thoughts: -If Ford hadn’t been acting so ridiculous about Fig’s onset work, she probably would have taken him more seriously when he said not to hand Mel the script. As it is, I supposed we should just be thankful that Mel did, in fact, destroy it. -Mel and Ford, for all that he hates her, seem to have the same opinion on the bookclub. I don’t think that’s particularly important, other than as an indicator that Ford’s perspective is a bit out of whack, but it’s funny regardless. -God, to be a fly on the wall next time Mel sees TD. I want a three hour Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf-esque character study about THAT.

[tobiasdrake]

So. Yeah. Mariko and Yukio haven't gotten to do much in this film.

Fortunately, they carry the final boss fight. Given that this story rightfully belongs to them moreso than Logan, that's pretty cool, actually.

While Viper's out there trying to extract Logan's healing factor, Mariko kicks us off by weaponizing her lampness. Harada comes at her like, "You'll be my lamp now, right?"

HAHAHA GET STABBED FUCKO Princess is rescuing herself from this castle.

Then she does it again immediately after. While Yashida is preparing to slice off Logan's claws with a heated adamantium sword, Mariko jumps in front like "Whatcha gonna do, stab me, YOUR LAMP!?!?"

Yashida's forced to swerve his swing at the last second and accidentally cut the chair open, setting Wolverine free. Though I'm sure there's a hilarious parallel universe where he decapitates Logan instead.

I'm honestly not sure how his sword works? Like. It's an adamantium blade that heats up to be super ultra hot so it can cut through adamantium. But. Like. Wouldn't that weaken the adamantium of the blade? If his blade is so hot that adamantium can be cut through like butter, then the adamantium of the sword should fall apart like butter.

Weird.

Harada switches sides and takes out Viper because she's about to attack Mariko. She didn't do that one on purpose but I'll count it 'cause it's still in a scene where she's weaponizing her lampness and making it work for her.

We all fight with the tools we're given. Agency isn't about how many superpowers she has; It's about what she does with the hand she's dealt.

Which is how we get to the main throwdown for the Final Boss Fight: Wolverine vs. the Silver Samurai.

Viper's fine, mind you. She gets up and starts taking off her clothes while the men are fighting because that's how her regeneration works I guess.

She has to shed her skin like a snake to heal from the arrow. Thematically, it makes sense, though it's funny that the X-franchise found a way to squeeze in another female mutant who has to get naked to use her superpowers.

They're at least more tasteful about it than the preceding films have been with Mystique, however. What you see above is all that's shown. She's shot from collarbone up just for long enough to start ripping off her face and then she's fully dressed next time we see her again.

For Logan's part, this fight goes really badly for him. He loses one set of claws on the catwalk.

And the other near the end of the fight.

He gets fucking worked over like he's never been worked before.

Harada doesn't fare much better.

Japanese Hawkeye shoots an arrow with pinpoint accuracy into the Silver Samurai's eye-slit, but then forgets that he's a ninja again and decides to go reason with him.

So. Y'know. His cause of death is being absolutely terrible at reading the room. And at being a ninja. Fantastic archer, though. Amazing at kyudo. Really should have stuck with that.

So. Yeah. The men are getting fucking shitstomped here. Wolverine does use Harada's stupid, pointless death as an opportunity to figure out the heated adamantium swords and decapitate the Silver Samurai.

But it accomplished fuck-all because it turns out that men are not actually eleven feet tall. That "head" was purely decorative to make the powered armor look cool.

"You fell for my trap of thinking that a man tall enough to wear this like normal actually existed." XD

You know, it's not that surprising that Yashida faked his death in the grand scheme of things. But the reveal that the Super Shredder over here is just a mech suit piloted by a decrepit old man is really funny.

Fortunately, things are going much better for the women. Yukio FINALLY! GETS! TO! BE! COOL!

It's by Designated Girl Fighting with Viper 'cause stories created by men sometimes get really nervous about letting male heroes fight female villains, and will rope in either male villains or female heroes to do it instead. Yeah, I see you, movie that has managed to ensure Wolverine's claws never actually come anywhere near the one female villain in the entire film.

But at this point, I'll take it. Yukio gets to fight someone cool, she gets to look awesome doing it, and she actually wins.

Hangs Viper with a cord and then breaks her neck via leverage. Fuck yes. Eat shit, Viper.

Viper can't just take off her clothes to fix that, I guess, because her neck is broken so her hands don't work anymore. Kryptonite factor.

Meanwhile, the main thrust of the Final Boss Fight is going very, very badly for Wolverine.

Yeah, he. Uh. He loses this fight. Logan loses the Final Boss Fight. In a movie called The Wolverine, Wolverine loses both of his claws, gets incapacitated by the Final Boss, and has his bones drilled into to steal his regeneration.

There will be no sudden turnaround for him. No second wind where he gets a brilliant idea and brings it back around. He just. Fucking. Loses.

Letting the character whose story this really should be instead of him be the one to put an end to it instead.

Taking Logan's own fucking severed claws for herself.

Credit where it's due, she's only able to do this because Logan cut his helmet off earlier. But it's still both surprising and refreshing that it's Mariko, not Logan, who defeats Silver Samurai.

She even does it with a sneak attack via throwing the first blade. Because unlike Harada, she fucking paid attention in Ninja Class.

Logan killsteals with his regenerated bone claws at the very end but. Like. He already has one adamantium blade in his brain and the other in his throat. Yashida had a remaining life expectancy measurable in seconds as it was.

Mariko and Yukio are, surprisingly, the MVPs of this battle. Good for them.

[letoscrawls]

How would you rate each version of Duncan from the Dune series and of his love/shipping interests whom do you think he had the best and worst compatibility/chemistry with?

Oh i love you for this question because i've been making silly little rankings in my head for YEARS and you just gave me a reason to unleash them in the wild

So, when it comes to Duncan i think the first thing you gotta take in mind is that his original version had a thing for lady jessica (love or whatever), and it's implied in some of his other relationships that she's always there in the back of his mind somehow.

Duncan and Alia: okay let's start with the one that irks me the most. Alia is my daughter, my beloved, my everything and i hate that she had to be overshadowed by her mother even during her marriage. but it's not jessica's fault, it's stupid duncan that saw jessica in alia, and someone even told him at some point. i don't remember who, i think it was jessica herself??? also you're a psychic living computer whatever HOW can you not see that your wife is being possessed by an evil presence. GOD. i'm obsessed with the tragedy of alia and i loved those scenes when duncan realized she was gone and he started crying ugh. chef kiss. very shakespearean if you will, but yeah Alia deserved a better companion so i'd rate this a 4/10 at best. four points for the tragedy and nothing more

Duncan and Hwi: 0/10. -1183948/10. this is the worst. not even tragedy can save this mess of a ship. hell it wasn't even a ship it was just wrong. poor hwi was paired with the worst men ever and then died??? wtf!! that was terrible for women in general. Not to mention god-emperor duncan is the worst duncan of them all i hate him so much you have no idea. he was a sexist homophobic dumb piece of shit and i hate that he survived and probably died peacefully with siona. also something tells me his encounter with hwi wasn't very consensual you know? maybe the way it was written was ambiguous, but i got the feeling she wasn't really sure of it and it did nothing for the plot, it made no sense. just a bad vibe in general

Duncan and Siona: meh, we don't see much of them, we just know eventually they got together and had a lot of babies and saved the atreides. i've always felt like siona was a half written character, we saw her in the beginning and she's a fearless rebel with a mind of her own, but then in the end she succumbs to the insanity of leto II's grand scheme of things and she seems more like a puppet in his hands. i don't know i'd rate this a 3/10 just because we don't see much and i think they were forced by the events and nothing more. P.S: i would have to look on the dune encyclopedia for more details, maybe they actually liked eachother like ghani and farad'n but i'm not sure

Duncan and that Jessica pseudo clone: they are mentioned briefly in god-emperor i think and it proves once again that this man had un unhealthy obsession for jessica (an assumption based on the fact i don't like him and jessica didn't either. stay with me you know i'm right). but yeah they were happy i guess??? i'm sure if some guy resembling duke leto showed up that jessica lookalike would have dropped duncan's ass in one millisecond though. 6/10

Duncan and Murbella: oh we really are in it aren't we. now THIS is a fucked up relationship. they get a higher score because she's as fucked up as him, and i appreciate equality. But hell duncan and murbella are insanity at the highest level. She imprinted on him when he was a teen and he reverse imprinted on her and they got stuck in a weird sexual curse???? peak madness i just. i don't even know what to say, if i didn't read god-emperor before heretics i would have said this is the most insane thing frank herbert did in these books. but anyway, we actually get to see a little more of their relationship (or maybe situationship, i don't even know what to call that thing they had) in chapterhouse, they are addicted to eachother and made a ton of babies for the bene gesserit. i would say there's tragedy in them as well and even though i know they dynamics that got them stuck together is not healthy and ok and they are by far the weirdest pairing in the entire six books, i'll be honest i was saddened when murbella eventually choose the bene gesserit over him. the scene when she's going through the ritual to become a bg and he's desperate to lose her might have moved something in me. idk. i give them a pass because they are fictional and weird, but overall they are a solid 8/10 to me. and i appreciate the fact that duncan was finally able to have feelings for someone who didn't have 95% of lady jessica's genotype

Duncan and Sheeana: meh. they were meant to be according to the bene gesserit plan, and they did seem to have some sort of bond in chapterhouse. but i don't know, i feel like they were two kids manipulated by the bene gesserit in different ways, and nothing more. But since the saga is incomplete, i'm sure the final book was supposed to explore their dynamic as well. i would say 5.5/10 for the potential (sheeana was super cool on her own and i like to think they could have joined forces to take down the bene gesserit and fall in love while they were at that. but it's all in my head so idk.)

i'm at the end of this long ask and i realized you asked me to rate Duncans and not his relationships. oh well (i had a drawing planned for that years ago). my apologies

Original Duncan: 10/10. bestest boy. gone too soon. he was one respectful king

Messiah Duncan: you know what despite everything I DO LIKE THIS DUNCAN. 9/10 bc he has cool metal eyes and he's very similar to the original Duncan in a lot of ways. should have treated alia better though.

God-Emperor Duncan: get this fucker out of my sight. 0/10.

Heretics baby Duncan: just a baby. an innocent soul. my son. you deserved to live a happy life with your adoptive dad Miles. 8.5/10

Chapterhouse Duncan: a pathetic loser trapped in a toxic situationship with a computer inside his head. he did try his best let's be honest. also a skinny legend. 8/10