#i like dukeceit more - it fits the names of other Deceit ships

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

|| Fic Masterpost ||

Now up to date! All Ao3 links are on tumblr posts <3

Feel free to send asks about any of my aus or fics, or to request new stories/continuations of other fics! :D I always want to talk about my aus.

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| Oneshots |

Stresses of Shapeshifting - Platonic DRLAMP, canonverse

Aeroplanes are like Shooting Stars - Anarociet, human au

The Official Sanders Sides Emergancy Sleepover - Roceit, Background Anaroceit, platonic DRLAMPR, Canonverse

Not Good Enough For You - Creativitwins, Canonverse

Putting Yourself First - Platonic Prinxiety, Canonverse

Flu Season - Roceit, Canonverse (not on Tumblr)

Duelling - Creativitwins, Canonverse (not on Tumblr)

Stressed Bakes - All platonic, Canonverse

Potions of Persuasion - Roceit, Fantasy

Taking Breaks - Anaroceit, Canonverse

Hurts LIke Hell - No ships, Highschool AU

Fit for Kings - Anaroceit, Canonverse (not on Tumblr)

Primroses and Periwinkles - Prinxiety, Canonverse hanuhaki

Where the Ashes Settle - Anaroceit, Superhero

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cryptid - Anaroceit, supernatural

The Haunted House - Anaroceit, Ghosts

Fairytales : In which Virgil kills some plants. - Prinxiety, Canonverse

The Knight and the Cellar Boy - Prinxiety, Medieval

Smile Wiped Clean - platonic dlampr, Canonverse

We Might Not Have A Tomorrow (Please Let Us Have a Tomorrow) - Prinxiety, Dukeciet, Royalty AU

Never Did I Truely Hate You - Anxceit, Canonverse

Where the Wild Wildflowers Grow - Roceit, Borrower/ g/t

Cozy Sweaters - Prinxiety, Canonverse

Part of the Team - Analoroceit, superhero

I never Cease to Wander - Anxceit, Fantasy

The Creatures in the Garden - Plantonic dlampr, Borrower AU

100 Yearnings - Prinxiety, Canonverse

Dungeons and... Kisses? - Anaroceit, Canonverse

Fire and Water - Anaroceit, Fantasy

Camp Cartoon Oneshots Masterlist

Selkie Coat - Prinxiety, Fantasy

Rainy Hilltops - Prinxiety, Highschool

Red Maple Leaves - Prinxiety, Fae/Fantasy

Little Explorer - Analogical, g/t

Sk8ter Boi - Prinxiety, Canonverse

The Good Thing About Deceit - no ships, Canonverse

| Short fics |

Assassination - Roceit, fantasy royalty (2 parts)

Siren Boy - Roceit, Mer (2 parts)

Perfectly Okay (2 Parts)

We'll Save You (3/4 Parts) - Proper Wing Care (oneshot from the We'll Save You universe)

Over the Rainbow (4 Parts)

The Spiders Forest (2/3 Parts)

The Lost Library (2 Parts)

Enough to Share (2 Parts)

| Series |

Faeries in the forest - Anarociet, Fae AU (6 parts)

New Years Verse - Prinxiety, Logicality, Dukeceit, Urban Fantasy AU (3 parts)

Darkside Roman AU - Roceit, Canonverse roleswap (4 Parts)

More Than Human - Platonic Roceit, God AU (3 Parts)

Fantastical Creatures and the Humans that Love Them - Various ships and fantasy/supernatural AUs (3 Parts)

The Currently Unnamed Vampire AU (Name TBD) - Anaroceit, qpr intrulogical, vampire/supernatural AU (4 Parts)

To Be a Victor - Platonic dlampr, hunger games AU (2 Parts)

Where We Wander - Prinxiety, possibly future anarociet, Fallout AU (1 Part)

| Long Fics |

Crown Princes and Butterfly Wings - Prinxiety, Logicality, fantasy AU

Across Land and Water, Forever and Always - LAMP, Dukeceit, Fantasy AU (tumblr links do not work) (Completed)

The Choosing Ball - Anaroceit, Royalty AU (Completed)

To Make a Heaven of Hell - Prinxiety, Crossover AU with Hells Belles

Ribbons and Rainstorms - Prinxiety, God AU (Completed)

A Swallows Symphony In Spring - Prinxiety, Royalty AU (Completed)

A Tale of Two Dragons - Anaroceit, Royalty AU (Completed)

Guardian - No ships, Canonverse (Completed)

Dancing For a Flowering Crown - Anaroceit, Royalty

Little Red Dancer - Eventual Anaroceit, Fae

Taking Care of the Little Things - Platonic DLAMPR+Thomas, G/T

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Taglist:

@full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmealdaydrea ms @littlerat2 @goldnskyart @virgeandhis-pocket-protector @amateurmasksmith (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

(apologies for the tag, I wanted everyone listed on the masterpost <3)

[maple-keenes]

the second disaster: playing dumb gets you nowhere*  *with exceptions

the first disaster | the second disaster | the third disaster | the fourth disaster | the fifth disaster

summary: on a visit to the local museum, virgil meets and attractive tour guide and manages to convince him (somehow) that he doesn’t believe that egypt is a real place. 

it gets better. 

warnings: cursing, remus, deceit

pairings: analogical and brief demus/dukeceit/the ship with no name

wc: 1587

a/n: you don’t need to have read the other fics in the series to read this one, but i’d recommend it because i spent a lot of time on them 

um, there’s a mention that patton says he doesn’t know who virgil is, which if you’re following the canon of this series wouldn’t make any sense, so let’s just assume logan described him so badly that patton didn’t recognize him. 

taglist: @analogical-chaos @ilovemygaydad @alltimevirgilant @virgiliananxiety @romanticsanders @theincediblesulk @wroammin @creativity-killed-thekitten @bitchyybabyy400 @wooflesthatwoof @lyditist @heck-im-lost @max-is-tired @demurphart @thelowlysatsuma @land-of-dragons-and-frogs @theeternalspace @magicallygrimmwiccan @weirdsthenewnormal @romansleftshoulderpad @andrewisabraveboy @satanblessi @supbitchss @diamondrush862

- 

"Why did I have to come with you?" Virgil moaned as Roman dragged him towards the local museum. "I don't need the research!" 

“Museums can be cool! Come on, I just need someone here to make snarky comments about the birds in the wildlife wing,” he pleaded. 

Virgil rolled his eyes and relented. “God, I hate you.” 

“Love you too!”

Roman dragged him all the way to the wildlife exhibit he was supposed to be studying, and several families were confused by the angry emo 24-year-old being pulled by the arm by a bubbly 25-year-old theater kid to a random exhibit in the museum. 

Virgil and Roman had been close friends since high school, where they met through the misadventures of a mutual friend, Patton, and Roman’s brother Remus. The four had drifted apart over the years, but the two of them had gone to the same college and now, three years later, Virgil was still stuck going to this stupid museum with Roman. 

As Roman diligently took notes on the exhibit he was supposed to be researching, Virgil wandered aimlessly around the Egyptian exhibit and looked at all the… old stuff. (He was never really one for history. Too many white people pillaging and colonizing and not enough sword-fighting.)

He leaned over to look into one of the glass cases, and the attendant walked over with a smile on his face. “Interested in these artifacts?” 

“Oh… they’re cool. I was just looking around, really.”

The attendant nodded, still giving him that tight-lipped why-are-you-here smile. “Okay. These are scarab beetles. They were very common in ancient Egypt, and they were worshipped back then. They were sacred animals in Egypt.”

Virgil glanced at the attendant, who seemed to be about 26 or so, and noticed that he was… was it appropriate to say that he was smoking hot? He had tattoos up and down both arms, and glasses that framed his face perfectly, and Virgil’s bisexual ass was crying for this man to keep talking to him. 

“Yeah,” Virgil said, running a finger along the edge of the case, “I used to think that wasn’t a real thing until I came here.”

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, before blurting out, "You didn't think Egypt was a real place?" 

Virgil, who was now slightly mortified, did nothing but nod. Oh, god, this hot guy thinks I'm an idiot, he thought, still smiling at the tour guide. “I -” 

“My stars, we get some idiots here…” he mumbled, and Virgil started, a bit offended. 

“So what if I don’t think Egypt is real?” he asked, affronted. “What are you going to do about it?”

The attendant blinked once, twice, apparently at a loss for words. “I…” 

“You know what, I’m going to go now, and you can mull over that,” Virgil said and then stalked out of the exhibit, head held high with the tour guide still tripping over his words behind him. 

He strolled through the museum for a little bit longer before catching up with Roman, who was still diligently taking notes on the exhibit he was supposed to. He glanced up when Virgil approached him and shut his notebook. 

“Where were you?” Roman challenged, frustrated. “You just wandered off.” 

Virgil stuck his tongue out at him. “Sorry, dad. I was just in the Egypt exhibit; I accidentally convinced a guide that I didn’t believe in it, too.” 

“You did what now?” 

He rolled his eyes, as if this was a normal thing that Roman should have been able to comprehend. “I convinced the guide - who was ridiculously attractive, by the way - that I didn’t believe that Egypt was a real place.” 

Roman stared at him, openmouthed. “You - oh jesus, you’ve got a crush on this guy, don’t you?” 

“How’d you know it was a guy?” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Because I know these kinds of things, Virgil. You treat girls with so much more reverence than you do guys, so this crush is a guy.” 

He pouted. “I don’t have a crush on him. I just liked messing with him.” 

Roman folded his arms across his chest. “Describe him.” 

“What?” 

“Describe him,” he repeated. “Do it.”

Virgil stared at his best friend and then sighed. “He had like, really soft brown hair that looked really nice, and round glasses, and green eyes that were almost blue, and his face looked really intelligent but sweet at the same time, and - why are you /laughing?”

“You’re so gay for him! Oh my god!” Roman doubled over with laughter. “That’s so cute, it’s baby’s first crush.” 

“They will never find your body.” 

He glared at Virgil. “You’re awful, I hope you know that. Come on, let’s go back to the Egyptian exhibit! We can still find him!”

“No, we can’t, and it’s not worth it.” Virgil shrugged. “You done?” 

“I can’t believe you’re just giving up on true love like that!” Roman cried, exasperated. Several families shushed him, very annoyed. He frowned and turned back to Virgil, who was giggling silently.  

Virgil, finally recovering from his fit of giggles, said, “I’m not giving up on true love. It’s a crush, if that.” 

“Ugh, you’re the worst,” he replied, sticking his notebook in his back pocket. “Let’s go, then.” 

Roman, who was a wise man (sometimes) knew that there was essentially no convincing Virgil now that he’d made up his mind, so they went home. 

It was the next day when the guide, who’s name was Logan, and who was 26 years old, was with his friend DC, who was quite frustrated with Logan. 

“So you’re in love with him -” 

“Felt that he was attractive,” he corrected.

“And you just let him leave!” DC threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “Logan, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you!”

“I don’t know what you want me to do!” Logan exclaimed, pacing the room. “I just thought he was attractive and I wanted to get to know him a bit better, but he left, so, oh well.”

DC sighed loudly and glared at him. “I hate you. I hate you so much. Okay, I’m calling Patton and seeing if he knows anyone who fits that description because I’m /sick of your /bitching and I want you to see this guy again.” 

He rang up Patton, who said, “No, I’ve never heard of anyone like that. Do you mind if I try my friend Remus?”

Remus, by some strange stroke of luck, was the brother of the man who had gone to the museum with Logan’s crush, and he directed DC to his brother, Roman, who was the best friend of the man, who’s name was Virgil. 

“Virgil,” Logan said, savoring the way it rolled off his tongue. “Isn’t that such an elegant name, DC?” 

DC flipped him off as he scribbled down Virgil’s number from Roman. “Yeah, thanks, Roman. And tell your brother I said he sounds sexy.” A pause. “No? You won’t? Okay.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “You’re awful.” 

“I just got you the number of the man of your dreams,” he replied, handing it to Logan, who nodded in thanks. “But, yes, I am incorrigible. However, he did sound really sexy.” 

“I’m texting him, I can’t hear you.” 

Me 8:34 PM 

Hello! I am Logan. I was the tour guide at the museum the day you told me you didn’t believe in Egypt, and I was hoping we could meet for coffee and I could tell you all about Egypt… and myself, if you’re interested? 

And the rest was history. 

I mean, that’s not the end of the fic, I’ve still got to get us to the next disaster by the end of this one, but like, it’s written history. Recorded history. 

You get it. 

It was only five months later that Logan was nervously tapping his foot against the ground in the Egyptian exhibit, which was closed down for a special event. 

Logan had started working in the archaeology department at the museum, so he still worked there, and therefore was able to shut down the exhibit for a ‘special event’. 

Y’all aren’t dumb. You know he’s proposing. 

It had only been five months, sure, but ever since the first date Logan had known that this grumpy young man was his absolute soulmate. They complemented each other’s personalities perfectly, they were best friends, and their friend groups were now melded, meaning that the six of them were all quite close. And so Logan had Roman, Remus, Patton and DC’s blessing to propose to his emo boyfriend, and that is where we join him. 

Virgil poked his head into the exhibit, eyes widening when he saw his boyfriend down on one knee with a box in his hand. “Holy shit -” 

“Virgil, you are -” 

“Yes!” 

Logan sighed. “Can I finish?” 

“No, shut up! I’m saying yes, save the sappy crap for the wedding!” Virgil beamed and ran over to Logan, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I love you so much.” 

He smiled and hugged Virgil back. “I love you too.” 

So they were married two months later, in a lovely park with friends and family and Remus’s dog, who was the most important member of the wedding party. 

It was two years later that they adopted their son, Remy. He was only a month old when they brought him home, but he was the final addition to their family, and Logan and Virgil were happy. 

Even without the existence of Egypt. 

[skeletaldarling]

Not Quite Alone

Okay so @patton-birdie had some amazing Patton Angst Ideas (right here!) and I really wanted to write something for them so I wrote this!! 

Also! I gave up on the intense angst almost immediately because I just... couldn’t... but now it’s soft and hopefully not complete trash so meh??

Summary: Patton meeting his future best friends (in a high school au) 

Ship: Platonic LAMP, background Dukeceit 

Word Count: 1,274 

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, sympathetic Remus, sad Patton, awkward teenagers, swearing, nothing else?? Correct me if I’m wrong though!!

~ ~ ~ 

~ Virgil ~ 

Patton kept his head down as he hurried down the hallway, he knew there was no point in rushing, he had an hour until his next class but he still preferred to wait outside his classes, it’s not like he would ever go hang out with his friends, he didn’t have any, Patton was used to being completely alone. 

Patton accidentally bumped shoulders with another student and flushed with embarrassment, “sorry!” He said quickly. 

He finally reached the art rooms and exhaled at the sight of the mostly empty space outside them. Just as Patton went to sit on the floor by a wall his teacher, Thomas came out of his classroom, “hey, Patton.”

Patton looked up and smiled slightly with a nod, “hi.”

“You can sit in there if you’d like, get a head start on that homework,” Thomas teased, knowing fully well that Patton was ahead in all of his work. 

Patton thanked the teacher and moved into the classroom, he kicked his bag under the table and pulled his things out, after plugging in headphones and gathering his pencils, he started sketching, it wasn’t school work, but it was fun and it kept his mind off the fact that other students would be hanging out with friends right now... 

Patton shook his head to clear those thoughts and returned his attention to his art. 

Patton had been so absorbed in his art and the music playing in his ears that he nearly fell off his seat when he heard someone speak, he let out a terrified squeak and clutched the table, his pencil clattering to the floor. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” the person said, they knelt down and grabbed the pencil, he looked up and smiled at Patton, “I said your art was really pretty.”

Patton blinked, “oh. Thanks,” he looked at his pencil to avoid making eye contact with the outrageously attractive teenager standing in front of him. 

“Your name is Patton, right? I’m Virgil.”

“Hi, um yeah, I’m Patton.”

Virgil nodded and gestured to the art, “this is really good, by the way. I love your style.”

Patton looked at the drawing, a half cat half human posing dramatically with a bright smile and lots of stars and swirls, he’d started coloured the hair, lots of blue and purple with streaks of pink. 

Wait. He needed to respond, oh dear, “okay.”

Fucking hell. Virgil snorted and covered his mouth to hide his laughter, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh,” he smiled and pulled a seat out next to Patton, “that’s something I would say too.”

Patton shifted in his seat, “oh.”

“I can move if you want,” Virgil offered, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

Patton shook his head rapidly, “no no, I’m just... I’m sorry, I’m not too great at talking...”

Virgil shrugged, “I can relate.”

Patton looked at him, I can relate. He’d never heard those words directed at him before... 

~ Roman ~ 

“That is absolutely insane!” Roman shouted. 

“Rude! That is rude!” Remus yelled back. 

Dee crossed his legs neatly with a loud sigh, “give it up, Ro. No one can beat my Reeree in ridiculous debates.”

“Ah-hah! See? I have backup!”

“How am I related to you!?”

Patton watched the argument with a smile hidden behind his hand. Roman and his twin, Remus, continued to fight from across the classroom until finally, the teacher came in and told them to sit down. 

When Roman sat down next to Patton, the shy kid didn’t expect him to lean over and whisper to him, “I really like your shirt.”

Patton glanced down at his Aladdin shirt, “thanks.”

Roman tilted his head to the side, “so it can speak... interesting.”

Patton shuffled his feet, looking away for a moment, trying to figure out the right response, okay didn’t quite feel like the right fit. Roman chuckled, “I’m kidding. You should talk more, you seem like the kind of person with interesting things to say.”

Patton looked over, “I do?” 

“Mhmm,” Roman smiled, “you do, Patton.” 

~ Logan ~

Virgil looked up from his art work and saw Patton, the quiet kid from the other day. He gathered his things and sat down next to him, “hey.”

Patton looked up, appearing slightly alarmed, “oh, hi, Virgil.”

“You can call me Virge.”

Patton nodded, “right. Okay, Virge.” 

Virgil smiled slightly, three words. Progress. 

Virgil noticed his friend walk in and he waved, “hey, L!” 

Logan noticed and walked over to sit on the other side of Patton, he nodded in greeting, “salutations.”

Virgil gestured to his friend, “this is Logan.”

Patton nodded, “hi, Logan.”

Logan pulled out his own art work, “I’ve seen you around, your name is Patton, correct?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I’ve also noticed your art on posters around the school, you’re talented.”

Patton blushed, “yeah, teachers like it when I make posters for them.”

“Cool,” Virgil said, “posters are fun.” 

“I agree, I enjoy summarising information into readable and well thought out designs.” 

Virgil snorted, “yeah right, you use obnoxiously long words and confusing speeches instead of normal sentences.” 

“I feel as if obnoxiously qualifies as a long word.” 

“Not my point.” 

“You’re only saying that because because I’m right,” Logan teased. 

“Shut up.”

Patton listened to them with interest, not daring to interrupt. The three of them worked on their art for a while longer, Virgil and Logan chatting the whole time, well, less chatting and more debating but still, talking nonetheless. Every time Patton tried to speak, he’d stop, a little nervous he’d ruin the conversation. 

Logan put a hand on his arm, “are you alright? You’ve been quiet.”

Patton glanced at the hand on his arm, it wasn’t threatening, it felt... comforting; a welcome sign that Logan was listening and interested in him. Patton shrugged, “I’m just a little quiet, I’m sorry.”

“Nonsense,” Logan dismissed, “no need to apologise, you shouldn’t feel pressured to speak but I would hope you’re comfortable enough to talk when you want to.” 

“I am,” lied Patton. 

Logan moved his hand from Patton’s arm to his back, “did you know that some people find physical contact comforting because it helps them feel welcome in the conversation?” 

Patton looked at him, a questioning look in his eyes. Logan nodded, “fun fact,” he added with a small smile. 

~ ~ ~ 

Patton knew he kept shifting and shuffling around but he couldn’t help it, he wasn’t used to being around other people, it felt unfamiliar and strange and if constantly moving was helping to work off some of that nervous energy, then was it really so bad?

Logan looked at him, “Pat, come sit over here,” he offered, pushing Roman’s backpack aside so Patton could sit next to him on their school field. 

Roman scowled playfully as he moved his bag away from Logan. Patton crossed their small circle and sat where Logan had suggested. 

Virgil snatched some food from Roman’s hand and popped it into his mouth with an evil smirk. Logan put an arm around Patton’s shoulders and moved so their sides were pressed together, “tell me to move away whenever and I will,” he whispered. 

Patton nodded, “thank you,” he leaned in even closer, “but you don’t need to.” 

The four of them adapted quickly and it didn’t take much time for Patton to open up completely. He’d chat and giggle with Virgil and Logan all through art. He’d laugh and cheer for Roman when he fought with his brother. He was always grateful when they held his hand or hugged him or assured him through small touches that he was welcome here. 

And Patton would smile. 

Maybe he wasn’t completely alone after all...