#i like my maxiel to be kinda miserable ...

[fear8not1]

heyyy for kiss prompts may i suggest 36 with maxiel? 💖

thank you for your request ! this turned out a bit bittersweet (i rewrote it thrice and just couldn't make it happy LMAO) so feel free to ask for another kiss if it's not to your tastes.

not my best but it's a very fun exercise !

send me a ship and a number and i will write a kiss

36 (as a promise) - on the flip of a coin - maxiel, 732 words

The music is loud. Loud enough to cover Max’s voice. Not loud enough to cover Daniel’s.

“I’m leaving F1,” he yells in his ear, blue lights aggravating his eye bags when he leans back to look at him, “I’m taking a break.”

Max blinks once, twice. He looks down at his drink, mentally counts the shots he’s taken, but he’s nowhere near drunk enough to hear things wrong.

Daniel is leaving. “You’re kidding, right ?” He asks, trying to search for anything on his face that’d indicate he is — the usual amused sparkle in his eyes, the small smirk. But there’s nothing.

Daniel leans forward again, lips brushing his ear as he speaks. “No, I just- I can’t do it anymore, Max. I gotta leave, mate.”

If Max isn’t drunk, maybe Daniel is. He checks the empty glass in his hand, even though he knows he’s only had a beer and a whiskey coca. Nothing crazy. He opens his mouth to ask why and how and when and complain about the fact that it’s the first time they’ve went out in months and losing him now, when he feels like he’s finally reached him, would be unfair but…

But he gets it. Daniel’s skin looks dull, pale, his signature smile long gone. His cheeks aren’t red from laughing, the lines on his face much deeper than they once were, and, from where he is, Max can see his collarbones peeking from his shirt. He’s not wearing his team kit, not a single item reminding that he drives for McLaren. He used to wear Red Bull merch often. Even off track. “I- I can be there for you, mate. You don’t have to- we can talk about it when we’re sober, yeah ?”

Daniel shakes his head, smiles sadly and bumps their foreheads. The contact hurts, but Max’s brain replays the past few minutes so much he barely registers it. “No, Maxie. Can’t do, won’t do. I…,” he takes a shaky breath, steals a sip from Max’s glass, “I need you to know. Now. Press’ll know in a few days. You gotta be ready, mate, they’ll be all over you.”

Max nods quietly, frowning so hard he can tell he’ll have a headache soon enough. He knows why he’s doing it. He understands. It, somehow, makes it worse. He can’t be angry at him, can’t be sad for him — it feels natural, considering the last few years. “Danny, I- will you come back ?”

The Australian shrugs, looks away for a few seconds. It gives Max enough time to look at him, properly look, for the first time in years. Red Bull, Renault, McLaren, they’ve all taken their tolls on him. Like a disease, it has spread throughout the years, quietly and undiagnosed, and it was now too late to fix it easily. He had to step away. Leave for a while. Work on himself as a last chance treatment. Pray it works.

“Probably,” he ends up answering, voice so quiet Max would have missed it had he not read it on his lips, “I’ll try to come back next year. They might not want me back.” His words are carefully picked, as if he had spent his nights trying to figure out how to break the news for others.

Max doesn’t want to think about that. “They’ll do. You’ll come back,” and, as he says it, he isn’t sure if he’s trying to comfort Daniel or himself, “in a year, then. Gives you enough time to go crazy doing normal things. Then, back to us.”

Daniel stares at him for a few seconds, licks his lip clean from the sticky beer residue, and smiles. It’s nothing like his usual smile, but it’s a small victory, at least. He wonders if he’s also thinking of clumsy nights, years ago, when adrenaline would run too high and healthy outlets were needed. If he’s over it, the way Max is pretending to be.

He wonders, but Daniel puts a stop to it, leaning forward just enough to brush his lips against Max’s. With his free hand, he caresses his cheek and whispers, “I promise, Max. I’ll come back to you,” and kisses him gently. He tastes of alcohol, of beer and whiskey and toothpaste, of salty tears and disappointment, of nights Max will forever miss.

But it’s good enough, for now. It’s a promise he can cling to.

[maxybabyy]

happy new year friends!

to celebrate the new year, i wanted to go through some of wonderful stories i read in 2024. going through the tags and my bookmarks, i have come to the realisation that I still suck at keeping track of my favourites, so these are just the one still stuck in my head.

five (+some) full length fics

sour and delicious, secret and unrepeatable by @officialmood (maxiel)

i know this was written for that trope you hate fest, but i absolutely loved every word of it. all the tiny details, the shoe tying scene that still lives in my head, daniel preferring adynamic sex, max thinking he cannot have both. all of it is just so fucking good. I think it is such an incredible fic and such a good way to explore the maxiel dynamic.

table in the back by @janinaduszejko (galex)

i think if i could take one fic with me into 2025, it would be this one. i am more of a peripheral galex enjoyer, but this just hits ALL the right notes for me. the angst and misunderstanding is just so perfect that i can still feel the hurt in my finger tips. 10/10, will read again to keep george in miserable company.

rosetta stone by @janinaduszejko (carcar)

unlike galex, carcar does have me in a chokehold. oscar learning spanish and being called out by Fernando, dropping hints that they should move in together, only for carlos to tell him he loves him first. it's so fucking great.

everything carcar by @testarossa is also so fucking perfect, but especially make a mess, lioness is so, so good.

the entire Yours verse by @loquarocoeur (lestappen)

i still remember reading the first chapter of yours and not knowing what to think, only for it to turn into the most wonderful series. i am such a sucker for close-to-canon fics and this just done so well. i don't even know what to say, it's just sooooo fucking good, and i am in love with the dynamic between max and charles.

four espressos (and a lifetime) by @ferrarisma is another wonderful lestappen fic. i love the 'they grew up together' trope and the identity porn is just so perfect!

Cad Dad, a Dad of cats by @33max (max-centric)

max-centric fics are such a weakness of mine. cat dad max bringing the cats to races so he can make sure sassy gets her medication is so, so lovely and wonderfully written.

i have also read the first two chapters of famiglia-familie by @lsunstreakerl and i am very intrigued! gp taking in kid max is such an interesting take on it, and I cannot wait to read the rest.

four scenarios for tumblr fics omega max has a very special place in my heart and both @officialmood (post) and @lost-in-fandoms (post) have made such wonderful posts about it. i love all the different ways omega verse can be used to explore the maxiel dynamic!

girl max (my beloved) is another trope that I love, and the winter warmers posts (day one, thirteen) by @thewindowatkirkland have just been absolutely perfect!!

daniel's partner dumping him for max is also such an incredible fic by @officialmood. it's such a fun take, and daniel is wonderful as the spiteful, insecure ex who kinda, maybe also wants to fuck max now?

also the absolute masterpiece by @boxboxlewis that is max dating ricardo from melbourne while daniel, you know, is totally cool with it.

three works of my own Writing this i realised i haven't written a lot this year, here or ao3. i really hope that will change this year, but i just wanted to highlight some of the works that i had a good time working on in 2024:

cameras in the traffic lights

this was my first big html coding project, and while it was such a pain in the end (and still not perfect even now!) the process of it all was so much fun. i really liked working with the format, and the writing process of the tweets, the timelines, and the planning of it was so different to the prep-work i usually do for fics. the response to the fic has also been very overwhelming, and i am so glad so many people seemed to enjoy it.

max run club

max run club is another pet project of mine. it's such a fun world to play in, figuring out how to characterise max when we only really see him during daniel's time on social media/work out apps, the whole scanielax aspect of it. i don't know if it will ever be a full length fic, but i am not done with the series.

toothbrush fic

it's getting late, and i don't really have that much to say about this. but this was also very fun to write, and i still think if you love someone, you should offer to brush their teeth once in a while.