#i live in Chicago where we experience all seasons so realistically I’d wear it end of Sept-beginning of Nov and mid April-beginning of May

[koganphrancis]

Camless Episode 2 Recap

(I can’t give a credit to the gif maker because they deleted their post right after I saved this gif and before I could click back and get their Tumblr url, so, sorry!  If anyone else would be interested in giffing this moment, please do-looks like there might almost be some butt crack in it for us, and that would officially make this the most interesting moment in the episode.)

Once again the best thing I can say about this episode is there was not even a whisper of a mention of Terror ;)  

But the rest of the show-I really don’t recognize anything from what the show used to be.  This is truly like a brand new Showtime show using some of the same actors from Shameless.  No one reminds you of how their character used to be.  They’re all like those Lego people Emmy’s always bragging about using when she directs episodes-plastic and stiff and lifeless.  

Also, this episode had zero sex scenes, which must have been confusing to its core audience that keeps insisting the show is still worth watching.  I’m sure they missed the tits.  

Like last week, I’ll just run down the characters, if I can stay awake.

Frank.  Ugh.  They gave him this incredibly moronic scene in The Alibi where he rallies his fellow white men against “reverse racism” and you could see how hard Macy was working to try to grind out the lines, but it just stunk.  I’m sure the showrunners think they’re coming up with cutting edge social commentary here, but they’re not.  The audience has long been clued into the fact that Frank’s motivations behind his machinations are to serve one thing and one thing only, and that’s Frank himself.  He will go whichever way the wind blows.  If not being a Make Southside Great Again cretin would’ve got him some money in his pocket, he would’ve been making speeches against everything he was saying last night.  Archie Bunker was an iconic character in the advancement of social progress because he did believe the shit he said, and the audience was in on the fact that he was dead wrong.  When Frank says racist bullshit, it’s not “shameless” it’s not commentary, it’s a lazy fuck wanting something for nothing.  It has nothing to do with improvement or education of the viewer.  Shameless has this unrealistic view of itself being a show “about” something, and when it inevitably fails to hit the mark, they just guffaw and say we weren’t supposed to take it seriously, it’s just a comedy, it’s just Shameless.  Well, you’ve cried wolf too many times and I can’t take anything you say as meaningful.  

Also, this and almost every other storyline last night took the most laborious routes possible to get the characters to their next plot point.  Frank only got involved in local politics because he needed beer money (what happened to his one beer a day with the new liver?  Oh yeah, that was a different character on a different show).  And why the fuck would the patrons of The Alibi put money into anything Frank’s going to be in charge of?  Are they that stupid?  

Fiona and Bored Their lack of chemistry continues to astound.  Their conversations make no sense.  Bored clearly doesn’t give a shit what Fiona does, so why does he insist on giving his opinion that, once it pisses her off, he just drops it?  Why say anything to begin with?  And I only watch their scenes once, so I might be wrong on this, but he leaves me with the impression that he squints every time he speaks.  It’s as if he saw Dirty Harry at an early age and vowed to himself if he ever became an actor, his delivery of all his lines would be just like Clint growling out, “Do you feel lucky, punk?  Do you?”  

Anyway, Fiona’s circuitous route has her going to the Gallagher house to find shoes she left there when she moved into her own apartment.  The fuck?  You gotta try so hard as a writer these days to get any of the family together-it’s another piece of the “old” show that is missing more and more lately, and really ripping the show apart at its already weakened seams.  

She has a big power meeting with a commercial real estate developer now that Ian’s bail money is burning a hole in her pocket.  (And, the fuck?  Ian turns down her offer to post bail so she figures he had his shot and if he changes his mind and wants-or worse yet NEEDS-to get out of jail he’s shit out of luck?  They could’ve had her make sure he understood it was a one-time offer, but no.)  Anyway, for said meeting, she’s wearing what looks like a kimono from a day spa and to complete the look she needs the pair of red fuck me pumps that she finds in a small box that looks like it’s only holding said pumps and one work boot.  She left that behind?  Couldn’t squeeze it into the new place?  

When she arrives back home at the Gallagher house, she finds Liam sitting on the couch and asks him why he’s not at school.  (Forget that, why isn’t SHE taking care of him, she’s his legal guardian!!!!)  He tells her he got kicked out because of Frank, Fi asks what did he do, Liam says, “The moms”, clue laugh track that this show totally needs now.  Fiona brings Liam along with her-he clues her in to how rich folk talk, and she tells the real estate guy Liam’s her intern, a prodigy, cue laugh track.  She has a bullshit meeting with the guy, tries to throw her boyfriend’s name around to prove she has clout (and hey, he has a last name now!  It’s Kellogg, but who will bother to remember that?), uses her patented Fiona looking at real estate phrase when she says a building he showed her has “good bones”.  She’s so obviously bullshitting the guy and we can see her losing her money happening a mile away.  She, however, thinks she’s playing the dick just right.  There’s a scene towards the end where she’s begging to throw her $50K at him, but he says you need $100K to get in, and she says she has it???  I couldn’t be bothered to go back and watch it again to see if at any point she indicates where she’ll come up with twice the money she has, I’m just assuming she’s going to gamble the entire apartment building and lose it all.  And that WILL be believable because she has no business experience that’s not straight out of fantasyland and the only thing that will bother me is they seem to be setting it up that Bored is right and she should listen to him like a good little woman.  

Lip  Lip’s storyline is no longer about Lip, it’s about all the people he keeps taking on as projects.  Last night Xan abandoned the Ball twins she was babysitting to run off with a stolen wallet (what is it with this show thinking child endangerment is funny?).  To nitpick-if Liam was supposed to be in school, shouldn’t Xan have been at hers too?  Last week they made a point of saying she forged a note to her teacher to go to Brad’s wedding...

Anyway, since this new show thinks it’s normal for 24 year old guys to do nothing but parent kids that aren’t theirs and be a one man support system for their mentor and their sponsor (but not their brother), Lip’s taking on a new project, being the reluctant sponsor of a drug and alcohol addict who has an adorable baby.  Lip tries telling Brad that “Gallaghers aren’t sponsors, they have sponsors” (I’m so sick of “Gallagher” pronouncements like that), but in the end, he can see the guy has no one, so he steps in.  And if I could trust this show for one minute I’d be intrigued by this (it’s much more realistic than the whole Xan bullshit)-it’s interesting to think Lip can relate to the baby being with the dad while he was passed out for two solid days more than he relates to the dad-but I just feel like they’ll handle it badly and I’m not going to get attached to the baby or the dad.  

Debbie  She’s shrilly screaming for equal pay and equal rights, but I get the feeling all of that was her circuitous route to meeting this season’s love interest.  It’ll be interesting to see if she keeps up her crusade or if all that’s forgotten once she’s getting sex.

We first see her rattling off statistics from computer print outs, which is a refreshing change from Ian memorizing the Bible overnight, but still.  The stats she’s reading are unfair and horrific, but the people she’s telling them to are in no position to change things.  Debbie takes her “cause” to job sites where again, she’s shouting into the void, since no women are working there and even if they were, what does she expect them to do?  This whole “Norma Rae” thing makes no sense because licensed workers ARE unionized and if the jobs she’s visiting are using under the table workers, no one wants this loud mouth teenager and her baby carriage calling attention to it.  What is she trying to accomplish?  

So, like I said, all the screaming is probably just the set up to her meet cute with the chick she thought was a dude.  Said chick comes to the Gallagher house (claiming she found it because Debbie was screaming her full name and saying she was a welder with a vagina-so good to know everyone in Chicago would know where that person lives...) and does the “big reveal” that she’s a woman.  Debs/Emma is all, “Dafuuuuuck?” and Alex winds up asking her out for a drink.  At home I’m thinking, “Aw, damn, Alex, you’re gonna get roofied!”  

Carl  Carl is moronic as fuck this week-more so than usual.  He tries to see his local congressperson (who is secure in his seat and not running in the same election as Frank’s tampering with, I guess?) and is told by an assistant the list of things Carl will need to get a recommendation for West Point and to come back in 9 weeks.  Carl totally ignores most of the list, the scholastic and athletic achievements-does he really think he’ll get in without it all?  Can’t he just ask Ian what he’ll need to do?  Oh wait, no one knows Ian-I’m thinking of that other show again.     

He starts on a quest to find volunteer work (since court ordered post juvie hours don’t count-cue laugh track), and asks at the first place “if it pays”.  Right there, he’s too stupid to get into any reputable school, why are people wasting their time with him?  

He winds up working for a retired veterinarian who uses an unconventional but cheaper and effective way to euthanize dogs.  The show goes totally off the rails, having Carl “rescue” them and taking them home to die a “natural” death in his basement instead.  Is the writer so stupid she doesn’t know that that’s just forcing the dogs to live out their days in pain, or are we only supposed to think it’s Carl that is that stupid?  Either way, why go there Shameless?  Why drag innocent dogs into your “it’s Shameless!” world of the unfunny?

Kev and Vee  Their painful role as the show’s family sitcom portion continues.  (side note: I was cackling with glee when I heard Bob Saget will be making a guest appearance-I called that Full House vibe from the start!)  They’re checking out preschools and the first place they go, the woman who runs it is dressed as a full on fairy princess.  As if that wouldn’t be enough of a red flag to GTFO.  When they hear the cost of tuition, K&V flip out.  Because, ya know, they had no idea daycare/preschool was expensive?  Have they been hit with the same stupid stick as Carl?  They get a lead on a Catholic school that’s in their price range, but there’s only one spot!  What to do?  Easy, just tell their obviously not identical twin daughters that one of them always has to keep out of sight at school and that from now on, they’re both “Amy”.  Cue laugh track.  

Ian  Oh man, why isn’t Cam gone already?  This week starts with him performing the prison yard triple wedding.  He’s speaking in the cadence and manner of a preacher, yet he’s only been to 2 weddings that he can recall?  Does he watch You Tube videos of sermons now?  It makes no sense!  Anyway, a guard tells him he’s made bail, and all lame, choreographed hell breaks loose as the prisoners want “Father” Gallagher to finish the ceremony.  

Next time we see him, he has at least half an inch more hair and he’s being released back into society, wearing the clothes he was arrested in 9 months ago.  The handmade God Loves Fags T shirt is better than some of the things I’ve seen Cam wearing in real life lately, but I digress.  Geneva is waiting for him and is jumping and yipping all over him like an overexcited puppy.  He tries telling her, “I really wasn’t done in there-those guys need me.”  She’s not listening as she tells him “so much exciting stuff has been happening” (off screen-there’s nothing exciting happening on the show itself)-”We have sponsorships now, we’re in 45 states, 1 mil strong on Insta, we’re getting some of the conversion centers closed down.”  And, just, you lost me with the hyperbole.  Say they’ve spread to 3 states or something believable, not almost the entire continental US.  Anyway, she tells him they crowd sourced his bail and asks if he’s ready to face his public.  He just looks dazed and confused.   A little group is waiting for him behind a (as in one, solo) police barrier.

Next time we see him, he’s being delivered to the Church of Gay Jesus in a luxury SUV.  People are waiting there to greet him too-some wearing unintentionally hilarious masks of Ian’s face-well, really GJ, but come on, that’s Cam!!!

Geneva asks him if he’s okay and he says “Yeah, just used to being in lock up.”  Again, Cam’s not giving us much to work with, but I guess we’re supposed to see that he’s already overwhelmed and doesn’t want to be part of this anymore?  Geneva introduces him to a bunch of workers for the GJ movement that have actual titles-they’re practically a corporation now, then drags him inside where he’s going to make a press statement and take selfies with donors that gave one thousand dollars or more for his bail.  Ian looks down at the index cards with his statement and reads aloud, “My harrowing and abusive time in jail?  Prison was inspiring...”  Geneva is officially his new Terror and dismisses anything he has to say.  She tells him to just emphasize his oppression as a gay man and the daily violence he endured.”  Which, yes, hello, that actually WOULD be his experience in jail, but the show chose to make it cute and sweet.  Grrrr.  

Ian doesn’t have a reply to that, I guess, so he looks at a map on the wall with a bunch of pins in it and asks what it is.  Geneva tells him it’s where they’ve blown up vans, and they’re going to do more in his name.  He seems genuinely upset.  Guess he’s missing out on the fact that he could meet more fireman if he keeps blowing up vans-opportunity missed, John Wells!!!

Another disciple comes up to Geneva with an old timey prison striped shirt for Ian to put on for his statement.  Just like Jerome wore for so many scenes in Gotham.  I don’t know if the show thinks it’s a clever nod to Cam’s other job every time they do something like this, but to me it just pulls me out of the story and I go off on a thought tangent yet again, thinking about how much more realistic Gotham had handled all Cam’s prison stuff.  But I digress.  Ian says, “Am I allowed to take a piss?” which, really?  That’s how the kids talk these days?  He wouldn’t say “go to the bathroom”?  Whatever.  He goes into the bathroom, stares at his reflection because that must be in his contract, stuffs the prison shirt into the trash, flips down the baby changing table, and uses it to escape out the window, flashing the camera a shot of those ugly ass blue shoes with the gold heel coverings.  

In his final scene of the night, Ian is sitting in the dark in the Gallagher kitchen, undoubtedly thinking about the huge-probably life altering-mistake he made.  I’m referring of course, to when TPTB at Gotham sold him on the “Jerome has an unknown twin!” storyline.  Carl comes up from the basement and the two of them share the most awkward scene since the British version of “The Matches”, as told by Eddie Izzard:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qfw60qXtOH0  Oh look!  He’s wearing a spa kimono-like garment too!  

Anyway, Cameron and Ethan stiltedly say some lines as if neither of them has ever acted before, and Carl goes to make his escape quite rapidly, but not before we get proof (not that we needed any) that no one’s been visiting Ian in prison, and that when Fiona visited, she didn’t bother keeping him up on family news in the 9 MONTHS he’s been gone.  

Ian: Who’s the girl in my bed? Carl: Peyton List?  (I know I was confused-Lip’s been sleeping in Ian’s bed, Xan’s over in the corner where Carl and Kassidi-remember her?  She’s dead now-slept.)  Let me try again:

Carl: That’s Xan-Lip’s kid.   Ian:... Doesn’t really react to that either.  I HOPE what all this is driving at is that Ian doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere anymore-he doesn’t want to be part of the huge nationwide movement that Gay Jesus has turned into, he shouldn’t want to be in jail/prison even if there will always be gay men there, he doesn’t belong at “home” where they don’t even have a bed for him and all the kids except Liam are out of the nest now.  For Ian, home is not a place, it’s a caring, loving man with blue eyes and an ass that won’t quit...

[dannofaust]

I know that I need to get out and do some long days on the river this summer to prepare for my Mississippi trip next year, so I thought I’d do the Des Plaines River Canoe & Kayak & Kayak Marathon. I have something in common with this event. We both got our start in 1958, so this was the 62nd edition of the race. It was started by the late Ralph Frese, who owned and operated the Chicagoland Canoe Base. You can read more about the history of the race here: Des Plaines Canoe & Kayak Marathon

Last year the the event got cancelled due to a dangerously high water level. With the wet Spring that we have been experiencing throughout the Midwest in general and heavy rains locally, I was a bit worried that the event would be cancelled again. Thankfully that was not the case. The river was high, but not dangerous on the day of the event. The Des Plaines River gage near Des Plaines, IL was reading about 850 cfs with a gage height of about 11 feet when I launched my kayak at 9 a.m..

A safety bulletin was issued by the event organizers warning inexperienced participants about the dangers on the river and offering a full refund. They also instituted a mandatory lifejacket rule requiring every participant to wear a properly fitting and approved lifejacket. I always wear mine anyway, so that was no big deal. No one else seemed to be bothered by the requirement either. Anywhere from 700 to 1000 participants were expected this year. That’s a lot of people on a river that’s not very big. As always , safety was paramount.

I left the house around 6:30 a.m., so I arrived at the Put-In a few minutes after 8:00 a.m.. Right on time. It really didn’t leave any time to shuttle my car though, so I resigned myself to doing the car shuttle after the river trip.

The event was very well run and organized. As with anything in the city, space was at a premium. Everything was crowded at the put-in. Parking was good … well … it was great by Chicago standards because it was free and only about a block away from the put-in. Traffic control at the put-in and take-out was very well organized by the local police. Everyone was helpful and friendly.

The Put-In.

It rained for just a little while at the end of the trip. Otherwise the weather was pretty good for a long day of paddling hard. It was overcast most of the day, with occasional sunshine. It was windy though. The wind was brutal sometimes, especially near the end of the trip. There were powerful gusts blowing directly upriver which were intensified as they squeezed below the bridges at Willow and Milwaukee Roads.

I was struck by how slow I was compared to some other Paddlers. I was moving pretty well and going faster than many others, but I was still slower than many Paddlers who were in boats that I would have thought would be slower than my boat. I guess it just goes to show me that the paddler makes a big difference, it’s not just the equipment.

I was also amazed at how fast some of the SUP’s were. At one point, I looked over my right shoulder and saw a guy coming up fast to pass me. At first, I would have sworn he was standing up in the cockpit of a surf ski, but as he passed me I could see that he was paddling a very sleek ( and very fast ) SUP. It made me want to try one.

There are trails flanking the Des Plaines on both sides most of the way along this river section. There are also quite a few foot bridges that make crossing the river from one trail to the other convenient. These foot bridges also serve as great observation points for volunteers who keep track of which participants pass their location.

I was surprised by how consistent my speed was over the entire route. No matter how hard I paddled, my average speed was incredibly consistent. My moving average speed never changed by more than 0.1 mph.

A little current can make a big difference in the speed of my boat. I had a top speed of 8.3 mph, but that was obviously just for a short distance while the current was swifter through one small section of the river. I could feel the current pushing the kayak along faster, so I gave a dozen hard and quick strokes with my paddle to achieve this top speed.

The DesPlaines river is beautiful. If you live in the Chicago area and want to paddle somewhere close by, the DesPlaines River is a great choice, but this section of the river was not exactly a wilderness experience. There was loud traffic and airplane noise along most of the trip. I did see a fair share of wildlife, but there were also plenty of reminders that this is an urban river. I’m glad I did this river section, but I probably won’t be rushing back here anytime soon. There are many more enjoyable places closer to home for me.

After a couple of hours of paddling down the river I realized that I forgot to bring my paddling gloves. This came to my attention because I had a hot spot on my right thumb. This spot has been a problem in the past. My paddling style puts too much pressure on this one spot. If I wear gloves it’s no problem. Without gloves I get a blister. Oh well. I guess I’ll remember next time.

I found a bobber! It’s a little game I play whenever I am on the river. I try to spot a lost bobber. I spun around and picked the bobber out of a bush along the shore. Some  paddlers passing by commented that I was cleaning up river debris. I just smiled and put the bobber in the pocket of my life jacket, not wanting to make myself seem any more peculiar than I probably already seemed to them. How strange would they have thought I was if I had told them about all the bobbers I have collected while paddling. My bobber quest completed, I continued my journey downstream, with a silly little grin on my face.

I covered the 18.5 miles in just under 4 hours. The higher than average water level undoubtedly helped carry us along and aided our swift progress. I averaged 5.1 mph while moving and 5.0 mph overall. I only paused for a few moments when my spray skirt came loose and for a short break to have a snack. My GPS recorded my “stopped time” as being under 10 minutes, but I think that was because even when I stopped for a break or to refasten my sprayskirt, I was still moving around a bit by the current. The bottom line for me is that I can cover the river miles if I have to.

Another lesson is that I need to be in better condition. This trip took a toll on my body. It will also be wise to start out slow and build river miles as I progress along on my Mississippi River trip. If I push too hard, especially early in the trip, I may actually slow myself down because of the toll on my body. Paddling isn’t as much fun when your body is hurting.

Paddling with a whole river full of other Paddlers was fun, but it’s not the experience that I’m looking. Canoe and kayak racers are not the most friendly bunch. This is understandable because they are trying to maintain their focus and perform well during the race. Some racers were nice enough to let me know that they were about to overtake me by saying “on your right” or “on your left” in a friendly voice as they approached me from behind. I thanked them whenever this happened. Neither of us wanted to have a collision and it was often times difficult to keep track of the many racers approaching from behind.

Only one “racer” slowed his pace to visit for a few moments. He commented “Nice boat” as he was overtaking me. I replied that he was moving quickly and turned to see that he was paddling a Tsunami 165 ( a longer version of my Tsunami 145 ). I quickened my pace to visit with him for a bit and then he graciously sped away to continue the race. He is preparing for the MR340 and this was his first race of the season. I wish him well. I hope that he will continue to be friendly and out going, even when it slows him down a little. Those few moments when he slowed down to talk to me where the highlight of the paddle for me. I wish I had got his name, but there just wasn’t time. Racing … it’s not for me.

I’m not a racer and that’s OK. I like goals though. I can push myself and manage time to reach a goal. This event helped me figure out how to pace myself. It showed me what kind of river miles I can do. That way I can make my goals more realistic and achieve them without hurting myself or getting frustrated.

My main takeaways for the day were that over the course of an all day paddle, paddling harder isn’t necessarily going to increase my overall average speed. Maintaining a consistent speed, conserving my energy, and just keep moving are the things that will get me down river further each day.

The Take-Out.

The take-out was well organized and efficient, for the most part. Some paddlers didn’t seem to grasp the concept of taking turns when it came time to approach the narrow boat ramp at the take-out.

Portaging my boat and equipment to and from the river was physically the most difficult and challenging part of my day. The portaging is what took the biggest toll on my body. Thank goodness for the volunteers who were helping people at the takeout. The young woman who carried the bow of my kayak up from the river at the takeout was a real life saver. My legs were stiff from sitting in the kayak and I was pretty worn out. I don’t think I could have do it alone.

The shuttle bus was waiting when I got all of my gear squared away, so I hopped aboard and rode back to Libertyville. We were dropped off just a few yards from where my car was parked and soon I was headed back to Glenview to pickup the Tsunami and the rest of my gear. There were still people coming in off of the river and plenty of others milling around waiting for the awards ceremony. I didn’t plan to stick around for that, so I hoisted the kayak and lugged it over to the car. it wasn’t far, but once I got to the edge of the parking lot I set the boat down on the grass and started unloading it into my car, which was just on the other side of the narrow parking lot. Once the boat was unloaded, and much lighter, I hoisted it again and put it on the roof of my little Mirage. I quickly secured the kayak and double checked that I had not left anything behind. Then it was time to start heading home. Traffic was terrible. I do not like driving in Chicago. Pontiac, IL never looked so good.

“Blessed are those who see beautiful things in humble places where others see nothing.” – Camille Pissarro

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Des Plaines River Canoe & Kayak Marathon I know that I need to get out and do some long days on the river this summer to prepare for my Mississippi trip next year, so I thought I'd do the Des Plaines River Canoe & Kayak & Kayak Marathon.