#i need this in a game now or ill implode

[palmolli]

Really wish tloz had hammered in more mythology. Like... have the heroes be representative of a certain thing, and give them all altars or worshippers or just some damn hieroglyphics or statues FOR THE LOVE!!!

For instance, have Sky be a symbol of love like Cupid, maybe. Warriors... war... dur. Maybe magic for the hero of Legend? Though, that one has multiple contenders (hyrule, four).

Wind could be heavily worshipped by islanders and people who live by the ocean in general, and possibly the rito due to his association with wind. So... he's worshipped by islanders, Rito, and Zora.

Time... perhaps youth? His games have childhood and growing up as MAJOR themes, so I'm thinking youth is fitting for him. Hyrule could be like... health...? grasping for straws here, help me. Wild... tough one there. Nature COULD be his thing, but I feel like that's sorta... lazy. Unfortunately, i can't think of anything better for him 💔. Twilight, crops, farming, and such. Four... I know absolutely nothing about his games. Despite reading both mangas, I have no idea, dawg.

[bluemantics]

here’s a list of all my fics! i won’t be able to post and reblog much since I’m traveling the next week and a half, so I’ll compile all my works here in the meantime :-)

will also update this list as i write more!

klance:

midnight snacks don't exist in space

G | 1.7K | RP/BP dynamics

There are no rules about eating at 3:00 AM if you're in the far reaches of the universe.

In a bright kitchen while the team is asleep, Lance and Keith find each other, as they always do.

Why We Fight

T | 5.7K | truth-telling au

With the Rebels in need of resources, the team ventures to a planet known for its raw materials in hope that they'll join the coalition. Here's the thing: they need to prove that they can be trusted by telling the truth about why they fight.

Lance finds this more difficult to voice than the others. Unfortunately (thankfully), Keith has returned from the Blade and is more than willing to listen.

"This is bigger than any of us alone."

A Keith By Any Other Name

T | 8.2K | coffee shop rom-com AU

Lance McClain was dared to hit on Keith. Keith thought that’d be the first and last time they’d meet. However, Lance keeps coming back, charming Keith with his jokes and charisma.

Here’s the catch: Keith refuses to tell Lance his real name.

“I’m not telling you my name unless you order and move on.” Keith pointed to the register screen.

“Alright, I’ll do a cappuccino.” Lance pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket and slid his card over to Keith. “Now will you tell me your name?”

“My name is Yorak.” Keith passed the card back to Lance, who looked shocked at that answer, his eyebrows raised to his hairline. Keith was beginning to realize how dramatic Lance could be.

“Really?!” Lance demanded. He looked pityingly at Keith, and irritation welled up in his gut.

“No!” Keith rolled his eyes.

“You’re the worst,” Lance huffed.

a billion light years from here

T | 8.5K | post-canon fix-it

Keith and Lance reconnect over letters. Through their writing, Keith learns to open up, and Lance learns what a home is.

"For all the game I talked on the castleship about missing home, now that I’m back on my family farm, I kind of feel like there’s something missing. Like, even surrounded by all of the juniberry flowers Allura gave us, and even with my parents, I still feel lonely. Or restless."

Or: A post s-8 fix-it AU told entirely through letters between Lance and Keith, both sent and unsent.

out of my head

G | 1.2K | high school au

Keith didn’t even want to watch the spring musical auditions. Forced by Pidge to accompany them, he finds himself surprised at the talent of a particular actor. He also finds himself surprised by his own response. 

OR:

Lance is ridiculously good at singing and Keith is a lovable, impulsive jock.

baptism by fire

T | 1.5K | canon-compliant angst

Prompt: write a private scene between two characters with no dialogue, of just them two alone.

Lance just witnessed the unthinkable. Keith offers his company in wake of the tragedy.

kiribaku:

unstoppably, immovably, unbreakably you

G | 651 | canon-compliant

A character study.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

Katsuki Bakugou’s hand implodes against Eijirou Kirishima’s arm; a flurry of sparks surround them with a sound that rings between his skull.

This is something he knows how to do well. With every blow that Katsuki unleashes, he feels Kirishima retaliate with more, responding like a dance to his every movement. Katsuki is a fine-tuned instrument of destruction, every muscle on his body worked with the intention of winning.

as always please let me know what u think thru asks & comments on ao3!! ill answer asks between travel, but im going to frequently be in spotty service.

[infernaltenor]

one more niki analysis.

for now.

ok this one technically i've had in mind for MONTHS but couldn't figure out how to word it until just now because i a) read hot limit about three months ago and it hasn't left my head since b) the idol exploration event.

anyway. the actual crux of this is: niki's character is specifically written to be content, not happy. these often get confused imo. the second part of this is his contentedness isn't natural, it's forced. the third part of this is no one fucking notices, except for one rinne amagi, because of course he does. by no one, i'm talking specifically character-wise here; niki in game tends to get written off as childish or otherwise doing well, and that comes directly from his other unit members.

side note: i'm fairly confident in my own reading of "niki will pretend to not be bothered by anything, ever" and this is bolstered by a few different things; a) the honeycomb summer lyrics in my last post where there's a part of the intro, "hidden the true feelings out of habit / and now you're regretting it" (rinne amagi you slick bastard) b) hot limit. like the entire story. mostly because he was being troubled by multiple different things throughout it (work, idol activities, and his family last name/father's scandal) and the only person who noticed was rinne, and that's probably because he knew the damn guy for five years c) also in hot limit, the exploration into niki seeing himself as a burden because of his illness. why did they add this into his character and then not elaborate further? i don't know. if it never gets elaboration, i'll implode. anyway, it's a part of his character that he usually doesn't show, but he references it as "not wanting to inconvenience the people around him" REGARDLESS of if the people in question don't mind him inconveniencing them (rinne). in general, the only thing he makes a fuss about is food, likely because of his metabolism and the fact that he does become more of a danger to people when extremely hungry (he has bitten hiiro before.); i.e. the inconvenience for everyone else is a 19-20yro trying to bite them, not complaining that he's hungry.

i digress.

niki has referenced himself as being content with certain things before. for instance, in hot limit, it's phrased distinctly as "just getting to eat every day is a bliss to me - i need to be satisfied with that", which comes up again in his letter from the idol exploration:

"it feels like happiness is there to fill my stomach, too!" oh, is it? is it niki? is it now?

basically, what i'm getting at is niki's expectations for life are so incredibly low, so he's satisfied with getting to eat every day. that's it. just satisfied. side note: this is why i went insane when survival was added to his profile; the way he lives/talks about living, he's been surviving more than living. this is also why i think rinne and niki work so well as a pair, rinne's into living and niki's busy surviving. though, to be fair, rinne and niki's relationship is built on this crux anyway. rinne intends (hopes, maybe? his goal?) is to help niki with what he has identified as a problem. thank you rinne amagi.

(for the record, right after i read this, my live reaction was "WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF". that's quite dramatic, and i won't, but i figured someone might get a laugh out of that.)

this isn't the first time that rinne has referred to niki (well, more so implied) as "not happy", as it happens in hot limit, too.

"that's why i'll grant his wish and make him happy" oh ok i see.

anyway. niki's fascinating, because this forced contentedness vs happiness is so interesting to me, because beyond rinne's own read of niki, it's easily bought by everyone else he knows. most notably, kohaku and himeru, as their impressions come off of reading niki quite differently to rinne's:

(i grabbed these screenshots after i finished the event for the time being. rinne's i grabbed before LMAO)

both of them appreciate and even look up to niki in certain ways, and they both like his focus on food. but what's interesting is how both of them see him vastly different from rinne; where rinne focuses on his low self impression, himeru thinks niki's perspective of the world is interesting, as well as i think he gives credence to niki being selfless, which kohaku sees him as both childish and reckless. i'm pretty sure both himeru and kohaku see him as more naive than themselves, which is a fair read. this also does line up with what happens in hot limit; while rinne is aware of the troubles niki's going through, himeru and kohaku are both surprised at the end.

niki's own effort, i think, to convince himself of being satisfied and content pays off, because the only person who notices otherwise is rinne. which, imo, is a whole other source of depth to their relationship; rinne probably saw niki working that out. he was 14 when they met, and likely the shiina parents leaving was recent (side note: i'm a certified niki's parents hater. i know we don't have much info on them, but i don't trust them after that burden thing), which is something i've mostly extrapolated by the contact he seems to have at 14 vs at 19, where they're pretty much never mentioned. yes, i know, niki chose to stay in japan. i just don't think you get through your parents leaving you in your native country at 14 while they gallivant around the globe and your communication with them steadily dwindles results in anything good.

ok. i'm sorry for the parent hating.

but unless proven otherwise i'm expecting them to be the source of these problems.

[helaenalyst]

ep 7 fresh reactions

idk what to say. why were they all standing on the rock next to vermithor. why not one at a time. literally what is the logic here. rhaenyra knew what happened the last time? this is on the level of the "one guard for the entire royal family" situation. no one behaves this stupidly. i'm not going to just accept that she lured all those people in to put them in the way of dragonfire so that when the first guy fails everyone dies?? also why start with the huge dragon and not with the other smaller and potentially more manageable dragon? "i have nothing more to tell you" did she even tell them the high valryrian command words. idk what the hell was all that 😭😭😭

other than that i enjoyed the episode, the jace drama was actually really good, he's definitely one of my fave characters at this point. "and even that you take from me" reminded me of alicent's "and to even that you feel entitled" and criston's "it's all that i have to my fucking name" (i will make an edit with this). ill admit i havent been paying that much attention to jace so sorry to his fans if im fangirling over plot developments that are a character assesination i am opening to listening and learning 🙏🙏🙏

alicent's scenes???? i just can't get past the fact that some random guard is living criston cole's dream. the day he leaves there's a riot and alicent needs rescuing and now shortly after she's asking this guard to go live with her in the woods ????????? like somewhere near rosby criston cole is shaking right now and gwayne is asking him what's wrong from a safe distance because the guy might as well be about to implode. he's taking milk of the poppy for it

oscar tully i was not familiar with your game. i enjoyed the harrenhal storyline sooo much my fave part was when oscar loudly proclaimed he didn't like daemon and daemon actually looked hurt. and the kid had to walk up to him like idiot this is all part of the plan. and the looks between daemon and simon strong were so funny. i'm not sure this season long arc revealed new information about daemon's character (we already knew he didn't want the crown right?) but the torture and everything else has been sooooo funny i just love watching him rotate like he's on a microwave

idk how it goes in the books but how is team green supposed to keep up against team black now? alright they have tessarion but counting sheepstealer the blacks have four new dragons? in addition to caraxes when daemon rejoins them, and vermax? i dont know if someone will switch sides but the greens literally only have vhagar and tessarion right now. is helaena going to let criston cole borrow dreamfyre otherwise it's so aegover and even then it would still be

i cant wait for daemons reaction to learning about the dragonseeds... the one thing he cares about is the family won't he be like incredibly pissed??? coming back from self exhile for 5 minutes then going on self exhile again

[bananafire11]

vent

please dont read if youre not in the right space rn. heavy on anger and feels. just wanna type it out somewhere and this blog is my safe space so

i am so fucking angry right now. like the kind of anger thats pent up and bubbles beneath the skin and is ready to implode out at any fucking second and i hate it so much. i dont feel like i have very good reasons for feeling this way either. or maybe im downplaying those reasons, i dunno

i dont want to bother any of my friends with this shit. i feel guilty because ik they have their OWN struggles. ik feeling this way is silly because i help them through so much, and am so glad to do so. but theres always this doubt.

anyway. on discord, i put my status on DNIUC sometimes because i just need space and ik that most of my close friends will see this and know to be careful that day. or if they text and im slow to respond, ik they understand. but theres these friends who KEEP spamming. and its driving me FUCKING MAD. one, who is very close and gosh i love them so much, sends me so much every day. youd think after the first few times i didnt respond, he'd get the fucking jist and think "ill stop there" but instead he KEEPS ON. ITS OVERWHELMING. and the subject of these texts isnt bad or anything, but its always about him and his bf. i dont have the energy to talk about them 24/7. im beyond happy for him, that hes happy. but FUCK. im asexual and never have been in a relationship, and sometimes it feels like a fuckyou to me?? ik he doesnt mean it that way at all!! but!!! idk, sometimes its like theres a longing for a bf of my own. but i dont want to settle. ill wait for the right boy. right now, hes not here. and im not actively looking for a relationship, i have so much shit going on. so, i usually ignore this guys dms as long as i can. i feel guilty, but at the same time fucking furious that i even have to do it in the first place, if that makes sense. i love him dearly, but it's forced me to just put my status on 'invisible' so it looks like im offline. better to avoid people, ig.

theres another guy, who isnt as close, but ive made great friends with thus far in the time ive met him over a game i enjoy. but again, doesnt know when to stop. why are you texting me when it says dniuc!!! YOU ARENT CLOSE. ive explained 'close' is friends ive known for a year or so, which isnt exactly true actually... but i needed to tell him something that wouldnt hurt his feelings. after i clarified for the second time, he let up. but still. people are fucking annoying and its so FRUSTRATING that i love them because that makes shit so complicated.

then, family. ive been snowed in with my mom and sister for over a fucking week and I NEED OUT. i never thought id say this but I WANT TO BE AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM HOME. my neighbors, who are more so aunt and uncle to me and my sister, let me go over and stay hours with them when i need it. but i dont feel like trecking thru the fking snow to get there. last night i stayed over and watched a favorite movie of mine with them and it was great, but having the energy to do that feels exhausting tonight.

im trying to distract myself with art, but its not working like it normally does. and its goddamn hard. tried videogames, youtube, but nothing is bringing me true relief. but i dont want to sleep either. ugh.

vent art, anger.

[shirogane-oushirou]

oOOH YOU'RE PLAYING THAT GAME? okay, genshin impact or fire emblem, whichever sounds more fun!!

HI NICK!!!! :3 yeah i'm finally answering some that i got a few days ago skdjnfkjn!!! i'm excited to do a character dive for this one, THANK YOU!!!!

so. i've never been too interested in genshin just bc it's a kind of gameplay i don't enjoy (plus i need to keep to one gacha game for the sake of my sanity ;;;), but there was one character that made me falter. given my love of red hair, i wonder who that could be? 🤔💭

i'm sorry. i'm basic. you hand me a character with long, fluffy red hair tied in a high ponytail, i'll grip them in my jaws and shake them around. it's a fundamental part of my personality. 😔🙏🏻

fr tho, i dont actually know too much about him, but if i picked up the game like. right now? he'd be my first aim. i'd probably find someone else while i wait to get him bc that's how my brain works kJANSKJN but he's The Target.

........ of course i typed all of the above, started my character profile tour, and immediately found prime f/o material KJNASKJDN. like i can IMMEDIATELY think of the Meeting, the continued interactions, why we would get closer.... god. head in my hands. the chronic illness struggles. the "everything feels manageable until it doesn't". the search for some miracle. kind but calculative. grrrr bark bark bark!!!! feeling like the fucking weasel from that one barbie movie -- "give him to meee, UNGHHHH".

baizhu if you weren't in a game i can't play for brain health reasons, i'd love you so so hard. ARGH genuinely frustrated to know a POSSIBLE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT F/O exists here and if i pursue him my brain is going to implode both mood-wise and gacha-f2p-efficiency-disease-wise.

it also doesn't help that he looks a liiiiiittle bit like an untagged f/o who i don't talk about often but is special to meee... ukyo my poor little meow meow...

(ask game)

[runekeepershymnal]

"The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform."

(Emphasis mine.)

@staff Y'all. Kindly look at the stats of how many people have "In your orbit" or "Good stuff first" turned off. This would be right up there with Twitter rate-limiting how many tweets you can see in a day in terms of shooting a platform in the foot.

I don't go on facebook other than to provide occasional proof of life to family members / long distance friends who don't use anything else because 50% of what I see is ads, and because random posts I want to read get buried / don't show up on my feed for whatever godsforsaken reason.

I don't go on twitter because I can no longer block all the accounts posting crap I don't wanna see, which is what I'm concerned you're effectively proposing here.

I don't go on TikTok because of the algorithm obsession of its users. I don't want to watch a bunch of ill-informed, clickbaity, "tiktok trend" videos, but, since this is the kind of content it takes to game an algorithm, that's a hell of a lot of what's there.

I'm sorry that new users have difficulty building engagement right off the bat. I follow new accounts all the time because I pop into the tags of things I am interested in when I am inclined to look at them. I am far, far less likely to follow someone whose work was plopped in front of me by an algorithm, just as I'm much less likely to read a book if someone chases me down the street trying to get me to read it.

If this is a profits thing, there is already a way for a creator to get their post to more people- Blaze. If you want to make Blaze more effective, hell, add a higher price tier to Blaze a post specifically to people who follow certain tags, with the understanding that tag spam is tag spam, and if someone Blazes their post to an inappropriate tag, we'll report as we've always done with the standard consequences. You'll have the money already.

You wanna get more engagement and people on here? Let people post smutty art again. That policy change drove a lot of creators to Twitter, and since Twitter's imploding, you might regain a goodly chunk of the userbase you lost by making that change now, because you know Threads ain't gonna allow anything that fun.

Leaning into algorithms and turning this into an "influencer" platform is going to drastically alter the personality of the platform. A huge part of what makes Tumblr more appealing to its userbase is what it DOESN'T do as much as what it does.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[anpamm]

i

don’t have anyone

who could be here for me

other than myself

i keep posting but i have no followers to read me

the people in my life are not good enough

i see shadows in the corner of my eyes

and i see blinks of shadow

but also blinks of sparkle and repeating numbers

even so, the shadows and the objects that move by themselves yell and scream inside my head

so christianity promised me cleanliness now, even though it hadn’t cleaned me my whole life

but when i heard it yelling and screaming inside my head too, i asked for help so i could be changed into something that could accept that yelling

i don’t want anymore shadows near me

but, even so, i still hear two yells inside my head.

suddenly, i thought maybe god is not the way I think they are

and that it is my own fault that they hurt my feelings because of that

even though they have been next to me for the whole ride

i couldn’t get a glimpse of them at all

i see sparkles and blinks of light

but, even though they have been next to me for the whole ride,

i couldn’t get a glimpse of them at all

if i ignore both yelling in my mind

i reject myself in the process, and implode

but if i pay attention to the yelling, i will explode

god is faceless and so am i

even though i love us both

the yelling is so loud and at the same time it’s saying absolutely nothing

it’s the whispers that have answers

but, you know how it feels when your ears have been hearing loud noises for too long? even when there’s no real noise, there’s still an echo playing

the lights are very bright

sometimes i get suddenly dizzy

but…. they have been next to me for the entire ride, right?

…bumpy ride

do i have a condition? is this an illness? is this a season of my life? my mind plays me tricks and so does real life.

i’ve been trying to get out of there. my mind. how many more tries do i get until they run out?

if this was a game, i would’ve already closed it and gone to bed.

i almost did once. but it wasn’t because i wanted to, i just payed too much attention to the yelling. the light let me know that it wasn’t my decision before it was too late.

and now, it could be true that if i walk the path that i make, maybe, just maybe, i could manage to look at my own face for the first time. and, for some reason, that means that i also might be able to take a good glimpse at god’s.

huh, like they have anything to do with eachother, right?

what if i just needed meds. either way, seems unlikely to ever get them.

take the shadows away first, and then i’ll become who i am. or is it the other way around?

[anaveragebibliophile]

He Comes First

Thranduil x Wife!reader x Young!Legolas 

Summary: After finding out some exciting news about your and Thranduil’s future as parents, you begin reminiscing on the all the joys and wonders that this life has given you (especially getting to see your husband excel at fatherhood). 

PART 1 

PART 2: 

https://anaveragebibliophile.tumblr.com/post/659269636241637376/cyclical-love

“Are you one-hundred percent certain, Morwen? I know you are an expert at discerning such things, but I cannot help but still feel the uncertainty reverberating through me,” you said, hands gripping your kneecaps as you awaited the healer’s response. 

“Yes, my queen. All of the signs are there: the nausea, the subsequent morning sickness, the exhaustion. I am positive that I am correct in my diagnosis.” 

“Oh, by the Valar (God),” you responded, your right hand drifting to hold your stomach protectively. “I am with child. Thranduil and I will be welcoming another elfing next fall.” 

“Yes, Queen (y/n). When the leaves begin to fall, you will be holding another blessing in your arms.” 

Walking back to your and Thran’s chambers provided ample time for rumination on this news (because the healer’s quarters were on the other side of the palace). Now, that’s not to say this contemplation was meant to curb any sentiments of regret, resentment, or anger. Not at all. In reality, you couldn’t stop a huge smile from framing your face. You couldn’t help but embrace the elation that was filling every facet of your heart, soul, and mind. Oh, this was a dream come true. 

Obviously, the topic of having another child had been discussed between you and your husband many times (usually on fireside date night with goblets of wine and lots of cuddling). And the funny thing was that the prospect had cemented itself more securely over the last few months. Having and caring for another child no longer appeared to be this unattainable desire, but, instead, it filled you and Thran with this rapture, this thrill. And why wouldn’t it really? Legolas was everything you both could have hoped for, so why not try for that relentless feeling of contentment one more time? You’d have to be asinine not to. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ada, Ada are you awake?” Legolas’ melodic voice asked, breaking through the tranquil haze you’d encompassed yourself in. 

“There is no need to fret, my little leaf. Ada is just resting his eyes. He is tired,” your husband’s deep baritone responded. 

“Of course, Ada, but that is not why I was asking. Would it be alright if I laid on your chest?” 

“You already know the answer to that, Legolas. Climb on up, iôn nîn (my son).” 

And climb on up he did, at least from what you saw through the little crack in the door. Once your little elfling’s voice alerted you to the fact that your two favorite people in all of Middle Earth were in your chambers, your immediate instinct was to rush and join in on the cuddle session that was so obviously taking place. Yet, somehow, right as you put your hand on the doorknob, it was as if your feet were tethered to the floor. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t speak. All because you turned your head. All because of what you were bearing witness to. 

Legolas was sprawled starfish-like on his father’s chest, his little face turned into the right side of Thranduil’s neck. You could see the red, depressed sleep lines marring his face from his morning nap (where he and the pillow became great comrades). And even though that was such an adorable sight, what you saw your husband doing made joy spread through your entire heart in such a way that you thought it might implode on you. 

Sometimes your little leaf struggled to fall asleep at night. Whether it be because of a nightmare or a fear of separation from his parents no one could truly say. His insomnia was variable at best and inevitable at worst. However, regardless of the circumstances, your and Thran’s mission was to get your son some relief, no matter the cost. And you tried everything you could think of: lullabies, rocking, warm milk, literally anything that the rule book on parenting tells you to attempt, but nothing would make any impact. That is, until your husband changed the game. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night in mid-winter, Legolas’ inability to sleep had reached its peak. He hadn’t been feeling well for most of the day--spending most of it snuggled with you in the sitting room or with Thranduil in his office--and by the end of the night had been sporting a pretty nasty fever. He was miserable, plain and simple. You had hoped that the illness would’ve given him the opportunity to give in to his fatigue, to barricade himself in a dream-like state. Wrong. Instead, the infection chose to create a pain in his ear that wouldn’t abate by any means. No question, it made him absolutely hysterical. 

Despite this, though, he was most at peace with your husband, the man who spent most of that day with his lips pressed in a thin, white line and his stomach in knots. All he hoped for was his son to be improving, but it didn’t seem like Valar (God) was in the mood to grant that wish. So, he did what he was best at: finding a way to take control of the situation. In this case, the problem was Legolas’ discomfort. The little guy was trying to sleep--on his side, his back, in Thran’s arms, in whatever position his brain could conjure up--but would then proceed to hold his left ear and whimper. Anything he did would cause pain to shoot through him.  

“Alright, little leaf,” Thranduil said while rocking his son in his arms for the tenth time that day, “how about we try having you rest on my chest. You might sleep better that way.” And all he got was an almost imperceptible nod from the elfling that was clenching his hand so tight. 

Moving over to the bed, he slowly settled himself in the center, making sure not to jostle his son too much. Quietly humming to Legolas, he carefully moved his right hand up and down his spinal column and left lingering kisses on his forehead. 

“There we go, iôn nîn (my son),” he said. “Hopefully this helps. Gi melin (I love you).”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Darling, you can come in, you know. This is your space too,” your husband’s voice articulated, a hint of mockery and teasing in his tone (all in good fun). 

Opening the door all the way, you smiled at the treasures that laid before you. One curled into his father’s chest like an armadillo. The other grinning like a fool at said armadillo. 

“My apologies, sweetheart. Once I got here, I couldn’t refrain from letting you have that special one-on-one time with him.” 

Your husband’s right cheekbone lifted up to create an off-centered smile of sorts. “How was your appointment with Morwen? Was she able to give you some herbs to aid your sickness?”

“Yes, she was. But that is not the only thing she mentioned to me. About why I am ill anyway.” 

“What else is wrong? Whatever it is, it is treatable, yes?” Thranduil queried, his voice getting higher by at least three octaves. 

“Yes, honey. It is treatable. I’ll only have to wait about six more months.”

At that, your husband paused, concentration taking over his features. You felt his brain’s agony at the mere thought of analyzing the riddle and attempting to figure it out. Every mechanism was moving to decipher the answer. 

And then it all clicked. 

“If what you say is true, then that means we are….” 

TBC 

[fellulahh]

Random relationship headcanons (all characters!) - F!MC

I’ve done HCs like these before but not for all of the characters - I thought I’d do an updated version with everybody☺️

Lucifer:

Lucifer effectively never refers to MC by her name ever again, he either calls her ‘my love’ or ‘my dear’

He sets Friday nights aside to take MC out for dinner no matter how much paperwork he has left at the end of the week

Lucifer always unconsciously makes MC a cup of coffee in the morning when he’s getting his

He’s not the sort to hold MC’s hand while at RAD, but when they walk together he does subtly place his hand on her lower back

Often their more intimate moments involve laying in front of the fireplace together, sipping glasses of wine as they discuss and joke over their day

Lucifer helps MC with her every goal and when she succeeds, he is always the first to congratulate her. After all, having MC as his partner is what he is most proud of

If he catches MC sassing one of the brothers, he’ll smirk and boast “That’s my girl.”

Sometimes if he’s feeling stressed, he’ll ask MC if she’ll keep him company by sitting in his lap while he works

Mammon:

He’s an absolute sucker for MC calling him ‘babe’ and tells her off if she refers to him as anything else

Mammon’s 100% the little spoon (but don’t you dare ever tell anybody else that)

Expect random booty slaps throughout the day whenever Mammon is near

He loves showing off MC - if they’re at RAD together, he’ll always have his arm around her; nonchalantly planting kisses on her head every now and again when they’re talking to someone

Mammon tells his brothers off if he thinks they’re spending too much time with his human

“What are you doin’ over there?! Come give me some sugar!” He pouts at least 20 times a day

Mammon never grows tired of seeing MC’s body. Every time she undresses for bed, he gawps at her - practically drooling - just like it’s the first time he’s ever seen her

He often randomly buys MC cards and will write little notes inside with his scrawny handwriting simply stating how much he loves and appreciates her (he’s very soft when it comes to MC)

Levi:

If MC is doing something that Levi deems as ‘adorable’, he will immediately pull out his D.D.D and photograph/film her so if he’s ever feeling down he can go through his album and just gaze at her in awe

When he’s talking to Henry 2.0, he refers to MC as the fish’s ‘mum’ and him as ‘dad’ (but don’t tell MC that he ever said that)

He loves to show off that MC is his girlfriend whenever he’s gaming. If he gets insulted over his headset, he’ll reply with ‘yeah? Well I have a girlfriend who’s super hot! Beat that!’

Movie marathons are a must

Levi loves taking MC to the beach and having her straddle him while he wades through the sea (a bit like Baloo and Mowgli)

When he’s gaming, Levi lets MC style his hair. Considering how long it is, the human is very intrigued by what it’d look like pushed back

He gets incredibly excited if MC gets dressed up for something and practically implodes: “that’s my girlfriend!!”

Satan:

Satan is 100% husband material. MC needs help studying? He’s there. MC needs help with cooking dinner? He’s there. MC is feeling stressed and wants a massage? He’s already offered before she can ask.

He’s quite a tease too and will wait until the worst time to show this side of him. MC and Satan could be at the palace having a really formal dinner when he will start whispering in MC’s ear, telling her all of things he’d love to do to her later that evening

MC’s name is now ‘darling’

Satan’s favourite part of the day is when he and MC are sat in bed each night, both reading a book

He loves to hold MC in his arms with her head on his chest whenever they fall asleep

He always makes the bed while MC’s in the bathroom so she doesn’t have to

When he’s on dinner duty, Satan purposefully cooks his and MC’s dinner first so that they can have it alone with a candle lit

Asmo:

Refers to MC as ‘sweetie’

He’s always surprising MC with little gifts - if he’s out shopping and sees something he thinks she’d like he immediately buys it

He helps relieve MC of any stress - if he senses she’s had a bad day he’ll pull out the nail varnish and give her a full on pamper while she moans about whatever is bothering her

His Devilgram is full of candid photos of MC

You can bet he’s super affectionate toward MC - there will never be a day that goes past where she doesnt wake up with a kiss from him

They’re the fiercest couple at RAD - they’re effectively the Devildom equivalent to Posh and Becks

They also go on really cute dates, whether it be little mini breaks, a simple coffee date at a nearby cafe, a day at the beach or beauty salon etc

Beel:

Movie nights with everybody always consist of MC falling asleep in Beel’s lap and then him carrying her up to bed

He’s always calling MC ‘cute’ no matter what she’s doing. She could be having a full on go at him for eating her dinner and he’d just smile at her while thinking ‘could she be anymore adorable?’

Lots and lots of piggy backs

Beel loves hugging MC, he always does that thing where he wraps his jacket around her so he trap the human with his love

Always invites MC to his sports game and whenever she goes, he manages to perform that little bit better to usual

He always offers MC his jacket if she ever gets cold

Everyone dubs them the ‘cutest couple at RAD’ because they’re always holding hands and have the biggest smiles on their faces whenever they’re together

Often they spend their evenings in the kitchen cooking/baking which results in a food fight and eventually sex on the kitchen counter

MC always wears Beel’s top to bed and it makes him so happy to see her in it

Belphie:

He gives MC all of the comfy pillows in their bed - after all he doesn’t need them anymore because his favourite thing to fall asleep on is his human

He’s always coming to MC’s defence. If a lesser demon ever does so much as scowl at her, he immediately puts himself between the two. Nobody is ever going to hurt his human

Belphie wants to learn everything about MC including the things she likes. And if that means he has to sit through hours and hours of a TV show to do that then he’ll commit to it!

He’s always genuinely interested in how MC’s day went and whenever they reunite at the house, he always asks how she is and will listen for however long to what she has to say

He hides food in the fridge for MC “I bought this cake earlier and have hidden it from Beel so that you could have the first slice”

Belphie always wants cuddles from MC - he has to have his head on her chest

He’s also not ashamed of how much he likes to snuggle his human, even if his brothers do tease him for it

Diavolo:

Diavolo is always going above and beyond for MC and acts like she’s already his Queen

He loves taking her on little walks around the castle grounds; telling her all about his ancestors

If Diavolo has to get up early for whatever reason and leave the palace, he’ll always leave a single rose on the bedside table next to MC so she doesn’t wake up feeling forgotten about

He puts MC before his duty - if any nobles ever dare speak ill of his relationship, he immediately dismisses them from their role

Always compliments MC, expressing how ‘positively radiant’ she looks with a huge grin on his face

He loves making MC wear his crown and sit on his throne, in fact he finds it quite the turn on seeing her in a position of power (that’s not the only position he likes seeing her in)

His favourite part of the day is when he gets to return home and see MC in her element doing whatever (studying, drawing etc) looking like the absolute beauty she is

Diavolo always accidentally lets it slip that he wants to have a future with MC - they’d just be talking about something random and then he’d come out with “well I like to think that when our children grow up...” before quickly blushing, realising what he’d said

Barbatos:

He invites MC to the castle a lot to keep him company when he’s serving Diavolo

He’s always surprising MC and leaving her feeling flustered - he could have a completely serious look on his face while he’s doing something for Diavolo but will then turn and whisper to MC “perhaps when I finish this paperwork, I can do you on this desk too” before walking away

Barbatos is always showing off to MC by taking her to different realms and dimensions. Having dinner at a fancy restaurant is too mainstream for him - you want to see France during the Renaissance? Sure, he’ll take you there!

He takes good care of MC and will often sense something is off with her before she even knows. This demon has a different tea for everything

Barbatos loves cooking all of these elaborate dishes only for MC to try and you can bet he’s already memorised all of her favourite meals from the human realm and has perfected them

In fact, some of the very rare moments where he grins is when he and MC are baking together

Even if he’s the one who’s had an incredibly long day, he’ll still run a relaxing bath for MC with candles and salts

Simeon:

Even if MC wakes up and looks like she’s been dragged through a bush backwards, Simeon never fails to compliment her surreal beauty

He calls MC ‘sweetheart’ all the time

Simeon always gets up early so that he can make MC breakfast in bed as it’s the most important meal of the day!

They always bath together

He and MC often go for walks in the park and will bring Luke along if he’s feeling lonely and wants to spend time with his parents

Simeon is incredibly intimate and passionate in their relationship. There’s no such thing as a ‘casual’ kiss with this angel - he never fails to caress MC’s cheek and gaze into her eyes before laying one on her

He always offers to carry MC’s bags while they’re walking through RAD and will effectively treat her like a goddess - opening every door for her, pulling out her chair etc

Simeon’s always gushing to Lucifer about his relationship with MC

Solomon:

MC and Solomon are such a chaotic couple

To show his love for her, he will quote vines (*insert ‘I love you bitch, I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch’ vine here*)

He is not afraid to show off his love for MC. She could be walking through the corridor at RAD and when he spots her, Solomon will shout ‘DAYUM MY GIRL IS FINE’

Solomon is always making MC laugh. He’s not one for being traditional when it comes to compliments - he’d definitely hit her up with “I would drag my balls through lava just to hear you fart down a walkie talkie”

He’s quite a show off too - the demons are all jealous that MC loves him and not them so he always gushes about his human

If he ever takes an unflattering photo of MC, he immediately turns her into a meme much to his amusement

Although he jokes a lot and isn’t always serious, when they’re alone together, Solomon is incredibly loving and would easily be happy to just sit there and stare at MC in silence for ten minutes so that he can take a moment to appreciate how lucky he is

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʟ | ᴍᴏᴅᴇʟ!ᴀᴋᴀᴀꜱʜɪ x ᴘʜᴏᴛᴏɢʀᴀᴘʜᴇʀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | Haikyuu!! One-Shot

Woo woo! Taking a bit of a break from Jojo and decided to give the loml AGAAAASSSHHIIIII some lovin moments-- sksk I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot~! ;; 

» » Admin Ko

Looking down at the minimalist card, she couldn’t help but release a hesitant sigh as she brought her gaze back up to look at the intimidating building before her. It was a week before the semester ended, and for her photography class she needed to take a meaningful photo that held a deep sense of understanding, and was open to various amounts of interpretations. 

It wasn’t necessarily a hard project, but with her other finals creeping up on her she had ended up pushing this one to the very end; and now? She was in a pinch to find something that could help her leave a lasting impression. Despite not having photography as a major, she took the class more so to improve her skills for her hobby. It was uncouth, especially in consideration of tuition costs, but there was just something about having at least one class she could fall back to when her brain was depleted from energy from factual and information overload. 

Another sigh came from her lips as she melted into her coat. Her features practically melting with her as she couldn’t help but feel as though she was being an inconvenience.

In her search for a perfect idea or motivation for her project, her friend Akaashi had offered his help in her quest to find something that could spark her interests. 

She agreed, happy to have one of her good friends accompany her on her journey; but when he gave her his business card all thoughts went blank as she stared at the card in hand. 

Akaashi Keiji | Model 

xxx-xxx-xxxx | akaashi.k@hmail.com | 22-27, Nishishinjuku 7-chome, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo

“M...Model?” 

Her question went unanswered as she found herself talking to no one. The thought struck her as she felt a sudden weight fall onto her shoulders. Her phone buzzing as she numbly pulled it out before reading the message sent to her. 

[Akaashi Keiji]

I apologize for leaving abruptly, but I had an appointment to head off to. Were you alright when I left you? You were spacing out so much you didn’t even respond to me when I called your name.

Flustered, she quickly typed out a response as she had pocketed the card.

[Me]

Oh! no worries ^^;; I just had a lot on my mind is all! 

»»————-　♡　————-««

[Akaashi Keiji]

Is that so? Please take good care of yourself alright? I wouldn’t want you falling ill before you finish the semester. On another note, please text me when you’re next availability is. I want to make sure I clear out a day for you.

»»————-　♡　————-««

[Me]

! ; o; Akaashi you don’t need to clear out a day! But I promise I’ll let you know! You should also let me know your schedule so I can work around it too!

»»————-　♡　————-««

[Akaashi Keiji]

Nonsense. I want to help you make sure you ace this project. ^^

Utterly shocked, she couldn’t fight the blush that took over her cheeks as she reread his messages. His sweet words melting her heart even more as she quickly pocketed the device. She couldn’t handle another text from him at the moment, not with her mind swirling with the newfound information she gathered. Though as the days dragged on and her deadline drawing near, she couldn’t help but forget about the card....

....until she found herself staring up at the complex he lived in. She was hesitant, that was for sure. Despite talking it out and having a set game plan for what they were going to do and what areas they would head to, she couldn’t help but feel a pit of overwhelming dread hit her when she made her way towards his apartment complex. 

“What even...” She murmured as she shuffled into the building. Her form quickly hobbling towards the elevators as she scrunched in on herself. Once inside of the elegant looking elevator, she quickly sent him a text of her arrival. The thought of being alone with the gorgeous male sent her nerves on end as she stumbled out of the elevator and began her little trek towards his door.

She knew it shouldn’t have surprised her to hear that her college friend was a model, but to see the accomplishments of it really had her reeling in her thoughts. 

As she walked, she hadn’t noticed the figure standing at the door she was walking towards. A soft and adoring smile on their features as they observed her murmur to herself before finally calling out.

“(y/n)-san.”

Immediately, her gaze flew up to meet cool gunmetal blue and a sudden yelp of surprise came from her as she jumped subtly. 

“A-Akaashi-san! What are you doing out here?” 

Confusion was written in her voice as she felt her heart beat erratically in her chest. Despite wearing simple clothes, the style and fit of the clothes made the appeal to him grow exponentially that she began to take notice of his physical features even more.

“I felt it would be better to greet you out here than to let you wander the halls and potentially get lost.”

Despite the motherly tone in his voice, the hint of a teasing tone was also found laced in between as he gave her another sweet smile. Pushing himself off his door, he made his way towards her, gently ruffling her hair in an affectionate manner before leading her into his apartment. 

The action itself had her eyes widen as her cheeks darkened in color. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for Akaashi to be a little affectionate with her, but to be greeted by it when they first met up? It was almost unfair how smooth he was. 

The stammering in her heart didn’t let up as she stepped into his home. Shoes slipping off at the entrance as she took in the simplistic yet cozy apartment. Even with the simple theme that went on, there were little touches of Akaashi that just made her smile. The accents of his favorite color. Simple yet meaningful memories of his time in the volleyball club back in high school. It all reminded her that even if her thoughts portrayed her friend as a model, he was still her friend Akaashi.

“Would you like some tea before we head out?”

His voice cut through her thoughts quickly, and she scrambled out a quick yet as she turned to face him. The look on his face further adding to her ongoing crush with the other as he went to prepare a cup. Once his attention was off of her, she went around exploring the little details of his apartment. Admiring the pictures and giggling at the more comedic pictures with him and who she assumed to be Bokuto. 

“He’s an energetic one. His emotions were always sporadic when we played.”

Flushing at how close he sounded, she willed herself to keep still as she could feel his breath fan her neck as he joined her to look at his old memories. 

“He...seems likes a really fun kind of guy...”

The comment came out soft, though it was truthful. After hearing all of the stories about Bokuto and his emotional roller coaster, she couldn’t help but want to meet the human embodiment of energy.

“You can meet him one of these days. I believe he’ll be free from Volleyball practice eventually.”

The slight tease in his voice had her smile at the tone he held for his friend, and she couldn’t help but look up at the other with her own smile on her face.

“I’d love that.”

Despite her answer being purely platonic the comment he made after had her mind short circuit as she stared at him baffled.

“However, you have to go with me if you’re going to meet him.”

She processed the words in her mind. Once, twice, slowly, quickly; any which way she could she did to make sure she wasn’t reading it wrong. Seeing her expression, Akaashi couldn’t help but chuckle before leaning down to place a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling back. A light blush on his own features as he spoke.

“I suppose I should’ve been more blunt... but I did enjoy watching your reactions, (y/n). The truth is, I like you. I’ve actually liked you for a long time.”

If anything, both the statement and kiss had her stare at him in utter shock. Her brain working hard to work through the information it was being sent, and before she could even think her body moved on it’s own as she pressed her own lips against his. 

The action further deepening the blush on the male’s face as his eyes widened briefly before melting as he loosely wrapped his arms around her waist. Cheeks flushed, she shyly looked down as she fiddled with the strap to her camera bag. 

“I-I like you too Akaashi, and h-honestly I’m kind of...still processing this?”

The comment had a light chuckle escape his lips as her heart swelled with affection. 

“I suppose that could happen. Well, let’s at least sit you down so you can finish processing while you have your tea. I do hope I didn’t completely fry your brain though. We still have to go to those locations today.” 

Nodding, she mutely followed him to the small island in his kitchen before seating herself down. The steaming mug that was set before her sent a feeling of comfort through her body as she went to take a sip. The tea helping to soothe and calm her mind and heart. Though when she opened her eyes she couldn’t help but become starstruck.

The look Akaashi was giving her was...so loving. So loving to the point she almost dropped her mug as she hurriedly struggled to get out her camera.

“D-Don’t move! Please try to keep that expression!” 

Shocked, he was startled by her sudden movements, but did as told as he couldn’t help but feel his own heart swell at her animated movements and flustered appearance as she pulled out and set up her camera. 

“Just...pretend as if the camera wasn’t here.” 

Absolutely amused, he gave her a nod. With that, she snapped a couple of pictures. Checking in between as he took a couple of sips from his own mug before leaning over to peer at one photo she took in her flurry of motions. 

“I...I think I want to use this one...” 

Her voice was soft, but the amount of affection that dripped from her words had his heart practically implode with love as he was shown the photo. It was a simple photo, one that showcased his purest emotions and smile for her mid laugh at her cute antics.

“Then I presume we don’t need to go out?”

Subtly disappointed, he was ready to hear the day end, but was rather surprised with her statement as she looked up at him with a shy, yet sweet gaze. 

“Actually...I still want to go out and take photos....of you.”

Wide eyed and stunned into silence, the male couldn’t help but stare at her before exploding into his own expression of a bright grin as he leaned over the counter to press a kiss against her lips. His words soft as he spoke against them,

“Then I’m happy to be your personal model for the day, and hopefully for a good long while...”

[sullivanspade]

A Literal Nightmare

The final glorious note of the performance resonated through the packed auditorium and Sullivan, along with everyone else in the audience, launched from their seats into a standing ovation. Many had tears in their eyes from the emotional ending scene as the applause grew deafening, but Sullivan’s sentiment was much deeper than the casual theater-enthusiast. As if on cue, the gorgeous raven-haired man taking his much-deserved bows centerstage, straightened up and looked directly at him. Sullivan’s heart leapt, thankfully kept firmly in place by the considerable knot in his throat. And, being the dramatic that he is, Sunny then raised his hand to his lips, placing a kiss there before theatrically blowing it in his direction.

Heart on the verge of imploding and any and all inner thoughts reduced to keyboard smash literacy, Sullivan stopped clapping only because he needed to verify that his cheeks weren’t actually on fire. It certainly felt like they were. He couldn’t hide his beaming smile though or the adoration that made his dark eyes sparkle. He felt so special in that moment. Adored and cherished and...loved, as Sunny took a moment to appreciate him when they were literally in a room packed with a vast range of Kadeu’s ranked, who were all applauding in appreciation of Sunny.

A strange but familiar buzzing started and gradually began to rival the cacophonous applause echoing in the room. Sullivan’s euphoria began to wear off as the feeling of hundreds of eyes penetrated his happiness. Suddenly, he remembered it was not just he and Sunny in the room. He reluctantly tore his eyes away from Yongsun and instantly regretted it. He’d never seen or felt so many people looking at him. The room felt like it was beginning to spin and from the corner of his eye, Sullivan’s horror increased when he realized Sunny was gesturing for him to come down...and join him on stage.

Sullivan couldn’t even shake his head in protest before he felt himself LEVITATING out of Sunny’s box. He gasped in horror, flailing helplessly before remembering that hundreds of people were now staring at him if they weren’t already before. He went absolutely rigid, silently cursing Ara for taking it upon herself to include him in this involuntary game of ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board.’

Descending helplessly toward the stage and into Sunny’s beckoning arms, Sullivan did his best to hide behind him as soon as he was placed on his feet. He smiled widely and laughed, seeming to misinterpret Sullivan’s discomfort as his usual coyness and dislike of overwhelming attention. The stage was Sunny’s home. A place where he felt comfortable, but it was certainly not the same for Sullivan. There were so many people looking at him. Too many people. He felt exposed, almost violated now that he was trapped centerstage under the scrutinizing gaze of the audience.

Barred by Yongsun’s impossibly strong arms, Sullivan began to look around at the audience members, both incredibly curious as to who was watching him and afraid to see what they thought. He recognized certain faces immediately, his trepidation mounting as he analyzed their expressions and somehow missed glaringly obvious clues that this scenario was the working of his inner fears.

The first person he noticed was Ara in the wings, smiling beautifully and giving him two enthusiastic thumbs up with unmistakable ‘you’re doing amazing, sweetie’ energy. Gaze traveling toward the front of the crowd, he spied Prospero and more notably, Eva, who was repeatedly yanking on the poor man’s arm and shouting ‘What’s happening?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!’ He realized belatedly that she was much younger than she should be. Eyes moving directly upwards, Sayge catching his attention.

She stood in her box, arms crossed over her chest and looked incredibly disinterested in the situation that was bordering on traumatic for Sullivan. She was unmoving except for her top hand, which was busily rolling a poker chip over and across her knuckles impressively. The lights on the stage brightened, making it increasingly harder to see, but there was no mistaking the figure beside her. Zuihuo Joui...the bloody Ace of Hearts...completely buck-ass nude, long luxurious black hair draped over his body with strategic Lady Godiva style.

Sullivan’s eyes narrowed as he continued to stare against the intensifying lights. Joui smirked impishly, clutching the journal he’d given him for his birthday as he furiously scribbled down onto paper whatever Sullivan might’ve gleaned from a more expressive expression. The deception left Sullivan distinctly annoyed but sensing from the Ace’s movement that a hair flip of scandalous proportion was underway, Sullivan rightfully averted his precious eyes.

Only to have them land in the box below, where Max was sitting on Bestram Beryl’s lap, his cheek bouncing repeatedly against her bosom as she enthusiastically clapped with her arm around his neck. At this point, the lights intensified to a blinding level. Sullivan let go of Sunny’s arm with one hand to try and block the light but it was no use. He was blind.

The light enveloped him completely, warming him from the inside out. The comfortable sensation starkly contrasted the confusing dream nightmare he’d escaped, so he tried not to question the timely rescue.

“Darling boy, you are ill-prepared for the dark times that await you.”

Sullivan can’t hear the sudden voice as much as he immediately understands the light’s intended message. The words and the light are warm, almost like this entity is smiling at him, but there is something else there too, underneath. Something jagged...wild...dangerous.

“I’ve seen your past. Though they were meddling where they had no right, it seems someone has tried to help you once already.”

Sullivan’s trepidation slowly begins to force its way into the sugar-coated scenario at the revelation that this being has ‘seen his past.’ At the mention of meddling and help he’d been given, Sullivan had an immediate influx of candidates as many, many people have offered him help, but there was only two who had aided him on a ‘magical’ level and only one had been unbidden.

“This is the last of the assistance you’ll get. Never say Shukra didn’t help you.”

Sullivan jolted awake, sitting upright in one fluid movement that pulled a mountain of blankets with him. Gradually he regained his bearings, realizing that despite waking up drenched in sweat and with a massive headache, he was in familiar surroundings. Cold morning light painted hazy squares on the floor of his study. The remnants of a fire smoldered in the hearth to his right, a sleeping Adonis at his left.

Relieved that he hadn’t woken him, Sullivan pulled off his saturated pajama top before returning to his rightful place in the crook of Sunny’s arm. He turned toward him this time, laying his cheek on Sunny’s bare chest, comforted by the warmth and the slow rise and fall of his breaths. The headache, nor the dream would leave him as he absently stared at the opposite wall. He spent much of his free time here, especially in the evenings. The room itself was a canvas for Sullivan’s studies. The walls were painted a deep charcoal gray and covered, at most times from floor to ceiling, with Sullivan’s sketches and scribbles. (I shouldn’t say that. Sullivan has never scribbled a day in his life.)

His eyes focus on one particular section of writing, one that he’d painstakingly transcribed from the grimoire the River Witch had given him. One that he was having a particularly difficult time deciphering to the point that he could translate it. One that now looked unequivocally clear from his vantage point.

Sullivan sat up abruptly, this time bumping Sunny in the process and stirring him from sleep. It was only a moment later when he clumsily scrambled over the chiseled torso in between him and the now legible wall. Sullivan put his palms alongside the text, kneeling as he stared in amazement. His eyes were wide as saucers as he looked around wildly, gasping in astonishment as one by one, the mysteries revealed themselves.

Finally, when the realization had sunken in good and well, Sullivan turned to his confused and concerned partner with all the uncontainable excitement and elation welling inside of him.

“I CAN READ!” he exclaimed, almost overcome with gratitude from this unforeseen ‘divine’ intervention.

Wednesday 11 November 2020; Midnight.

You are sleeping. The dream you’re having halts abruptly and you become aware you’re dreaming. A light appears at the edge of your vision, an impossibly bright, golden light. Even as you turn to look at it you see nothing but a light that feels both like it’s searing your eyes as well as gently warming your very soul.

It speaks to you without words, though you understand it all. “Darling boy, you are ill-prepared for the dark times that await you.” You are still blinded by the light, but you feel as though you’re being smiled at. Yet, you can’t shake the feeling the expression is somehow feral. “I’ve seen your past. Though they were meddling where they had no right, it seems someone has tried to help you once already.” The light reaches towards you until all you see, eyes closed or open, is searing golden light that penetrates your brain. As your consciousness fades you hear these departing words, “This is the last of the assistance you’ll get. Never say Shukra didn’t help you.”

You awaken abruptly, drenched in sweat with a blinding headache. Eventually, you realize something’s changed. Acting on instinct, you fetch the tome the River Witch gifted you. You can now read the ancient demonic language.

You have been blessed by Shukra, Guru of the demons, bestower of knowledge.

[rochey1010]

PART 2: 👋

Lucas: Ok, so Lucas's arc this season is connected to Eliott who has focus, instead of Eliott being connected to Lucas like always. His arc is a relationship one and he's also there as background in the insulated intimidating crew contrasted with the isolated lonely outsider in Lola.

So in S5 Lucas moves in with Eliott and we see them in love and domestic. Lucas has independence and has matured. The show really builds his connection with the group too. He is around a lot and basically boy solidarity to support Arthur's story. 🤘Lots of boy group instas fill Lucas's account. Friendship is just a huge theme this season. Lucas also was part of the girl group and had a special connection with manon in S3, Imane in S4 and was more loyal to the boy group in S5 (more on that later) in S6 he is seen having a special connnection with Daphne.

Lucas makes mistakes in this season 5 which i feel is genuinely consistent with who Lucas is. We saw Lucas in S3. And it was his story and a huge part of this story was his epic love with Eliott so he was loving, soft, vulnerable, hurt, angry over his identity. But generally it was exposed Lucas. In S5 we are in Arthur's narrative. Arthur hasn't been there for Lucas crying, spilling his heart, cuddling and loving Eliott. All the things that would make you see just how soft a person can be. In the boy group is how Arthur sees Lucas. That is stupid, silly, chaotic and affectionate. But they're boys so they're moody and annoying and prank each other and can act like assholes. All things we see. Also Arthur's Jerome is Bas and not Lucas.

Lucas is being set up for S6, so we see the slow creeping abandonment issues come back. We see him saying ignorant and prejudiced things. Again all consistent with the character and his behaviour. Things happen with how Lucas treats people and situations that crop up again in S6, and Lucas shows his moral line too. So first the prejudiced things. This time he acts inconsiderate and ableist to Arthur on Valentines. and Arthur tears him a new one. Lucas looks guilty but also strained (something is going on which comes up big time in S6- home issues) he lashed out and was a hedgehog (prickly and reactive)

He apologises some time later after he calms and thinks about it. We repeat this behaviour in S6 and Lucas dismissing Lola's problems, and Eliott calling him out for his judgement. He's prickly and reactive and then clearly calms down later. All consistent with wanting to protect yourself and your environment. Hedgehogs show their quills to the unknown. Lucas all over. 🦔

Lucas in his new home opens it up to the group. They sleep there, don't leave, have meetings, scream and play video games and Lucas joins in. It's a chaotic loud mess basically. This crops up in S6 when Eliott has a new friend Lola who needs a place to stay after a horrible ordeal and Lucas acts hypocritical and says to Eliott "This is not a hotel" and yeah she slept in their bed because Eliott is decent and respectful and gave her the bed, just like maya did too, because she needed it more. And yes i can see that Lucas felt blindslided but as i said before, the moral line with lucas. It is a pattern with him. If you are close and known it's a free for all. If you are unknown and an intruder have some quills. And i genuinely feel if Eliott copied Lucas and brought home loud friends who wouldn't leave. Lucas would not have that at all = Insider v outsider.

Lucas hides stuff from Arthur because he and the gang don't know how to approach Arthur and be honest with him. They love him but the HOH is a new world for them too, so they mess up a lot. They lie and attend a concert that Arthur sees them at. He calls them out in detention. But generally the mistakes are well meaning. They don't want to hurt his feelings. But they set Lucas up as someone who hides things to try to protect those he cares about. Sound familiar?

The big one the fanbase rioted about: Lucas's advice to Arthur about Alexia. Like i still feel this is consistent with Lucas and again the moral line. The 2 groups have merged but they clearly show the boy group is more tightly knit. So now it becomes about group v group. Arthur is a great friend of Lucas's and Alexia is a friend. Like Lucas isn't close with Alexia. So it becomes about Loyalty. He's already failed Arthur so when he gives the advice to keep the kiss from Alexia i feel it stems from him not wanting Arthur's world to implode and knowing the drama of Alexia finding out could bring to it. Like Arthur even says it to the girls. Don't punish the boys, they were just trying to protect Arthur. So i don't feel that Lucas was OOC because he's generally a dumbass in a group of guys chatting in that dynamic, and doesn't want his friend hurt. His moral line is Arthur is more important. I'm not in agreement with fans saying you learn from your mistakes and that's it. It's not though, your own issues can affect your mistakes, your environment can affect your mistakes, your feelings can even affect your mistakes. Like different circumstances can change how you view something e.g. eliott and his problems v lola and hers.

Finally the biggest development with Lucas, and that is the ongoing abandonment issues. So basically how Lucas's abandonment issues work is again very consistent. They stem in the show from S2 but overall it's a life thing. So Lucas's mum is mentally ill and has raised Lucas in that environment. That's trauma, and especially from a young age. The father and the mother obviously have an unhappy marriage. And enventually it breaks down and the mother is in a clinic and the father leaves the family. Lucas is abandoned and feels it too. He runs off to live elsewhere and in S3 he's with Mika and Lisa.

His father is dismissive and his mother very unwell. I don't know but i think the mother is schizophrenic. I'm unsure on that though. But Lucas has issues. But what he starts to do and how they manifest is that he projects them on to his environment, and if he feels a danger of someone leaving he twists it to him being unlovable and people getting sick of him. Now some of the things he does, he creates some of these issues for himself e.g. Mika and Eliott, and some are out of his hands e.g. Yann. But overall he's generally wrong and get's the wrong idea because of the reflection of how he sees himself.

So Yann leaving becomes about Lucas not being worth it instead of Yann leaving because he's hurt that several times over the season to that point, Yann cornered lucas and begged him to confide in him, and Lucas wouldn't. So lucas gets the wrong idea and Yann handles it badly.

So Eliott ending the relationship and going back to his girlfriend is about him being a party/fuck boi and using Lucas, instead of Eliott leaving because lucas broke his heart and inadvertently revealed his skam to him.

So Lucas through the abandonment issues ends up twisting perception and judging people. Like i said before. No favourites here. Lucas had a lot of trauma so i understand what he carries. Roll on S4 and they're back and Eliott isn't ready to tell his story because it was so painful that he never told Idriss he was bipolar and cut the friendship in shame and ran away. "He was alone for a long time i think" and Lucas pushing out of insecurity and fear and they end up fighting. And yes i believe like Imane said it's Eliott's story to tell and he'll tell it on his terms. So i don't agree with what Lucas did there. But abandonment issues are irrational, so i get it. (Roll on S6 with it being Lola's story to tell)

Roll on S5 and there's a talk about cheating and perception. They're in a group and chatting at the van about cheating. And you notice each boy gives their version of their story. So Yann cheated but justifies it as he fell in love with Emma. Eliott is more realistic and calls it like it is. He cheated on Lucille and he's not proud of it but he found Lucas. (And roll on S6 and the mental illness talk with Lola focusing on the need for lucas to the point he hinges his mental health on it.) So pretty consistent with "but i got to be with Lucas" Bas is niave i feel, and gives a very black and white view of the topic. Just end it and move on.

But i've always had this view myself. I have experience with cheating. My dad cheated on my mum and yet i still feel this view. That sometimes it's not that simple. It's not that black and white, and in Eliott's case burying your mental illness in the relationship to the point you're afraid to leave. And in my dad's case. Being in a failing marriage with a mentally ill wife that you still love, children and a mortgage. I'll always maintain that cheating is wrong but i have sympathy and understanding in certain cases.

So anyway, Eliott in answer to Bas's POV does the Eliott thing. He comes at the topic in a empathetic and non judgemental way. He says generally sometimes human want more and are not satisfied so seek it. Now Lucas does the same thing again, twists the perception and projects his insecurities onto Eliott. Eliott who is petting Lucas's hair isn't even thinking of the relationship. It has nothing to do with Lucas at all. It's basically philosophical thinking in that hipster way. That humans are greedy and they want everything e.g house, car, money, job etc. And he's right. Humans have done horrible things to each other in the pursuit of what they want.

But it eats at Lucas because his abandonment issues are more than just a relationship. They are deeply rooted and a huge issue. In reality he should be seeking help. It has to get to the point where you can't blame others and you need to accept that they're bigger than you. And he confides in Arthur instead of Eliott out of fear (roll on S6 Eliott doing the same thing with Lola) this is the establishment of the love bubble and they're both doing it as we can see. So lucas tells arthur that eliott cheated on Lucille and he could do it to him.

My issue with that was, Lucas cheated too but he justifies with him being gay. But the simple fact is he played Chloe and he pursued Eliott behind her back. And when Eliott hurt or disappointed him he played her even harder. So i do find this hypocritical i must say. Then he acts panphobic, but the thing is lucas isn't panphobic. His abandonment issues project and he feels fear but it's really about Eliott leaving him. So he says Eliott goes down the street and he has more choice e.g. Both boys and girls. Add aliens and robots etc. Eliott is pansexual. So he's showing he's scared that eliott will get sick of him and eventually leave (roll on S6 and Eliott having a friendship with a girl, and Lucas scared to be real, and what is about to happen with the spoiler movie)

He very clearly says he hasn't confided these fears in Eliott for fear it may rock the relationship. Oh hi love bubble again. Arthur emphasises Eliott's love for Lucas and how greater it is than his love for Lucille. (Roll on S6 and Eliott emphasising the importance of Lucas and his need for him)

The last we see of Lucas is him crying looking at the friendship mural and Eliott in love and gratitude.

So guys i said this would be 2 parts but i think it'll be 4 because again length here. And i wanted to do Eliott in this post but it's too long now. Next part will be Eliott.

[ori-flails]

Rewatching Guardian - Episode 05 Part 1/2

Episode List || Episode 04 || Part 2

SPOILERS for upto episode 40, SPOILERS for the novel.

The first translation is by AvenueX. The second translation is from the episode on youtube.

How tf could Zhao Yunlan tell this was Shen Wei??

What’s the logic here? It’s not like the SID/Zhao Yunlan’s going to meet Shen Wei in the teachers’ dorm. So Shen Wei moving out doesn’t change much, does it? Am I missing something here?

What are you, a cat??

How tf did he jump on top of the table from the floor like that???

Da Qing’s a wonderful influence. xD

Yeah, he’s happier now that there’s Xiao Guo. xD

This is so precious. I missed out before by not paying attention to this precious interaction.

For all we know, Chu Shuzhi’s not reallyt loyal to Zhao Yunlan at this point, right? He’s here cuz of Hei Pao Shi and hasn’t gotten attached to Xiao Guo yet.

But you can’t convince me that he doesn’t have some level of respect and fondness towards Zhao Yunlan for him to have survived the mess that comes with working under him.

Also, Chu Shuzhi’s so perfect in all his feral beauty ugh

...oh my god *facepalm*

Das creepy, Shen Wei.

And it’s creepier cuz of the unnecessary ominous music.

Shen Wei’s scarce appearance in this episode actually upsets me so much because of the suit he’s wearing. He looks so fine, I can’t.

This is my favourite look of his, clothes wise. The only contender for this would be the rich blue suit from the episodes where Shen Wei was chained to Ye Zun’s pillar.

I’m starting to think Shen Wei has some sort of illusion related power that he uses to stay lowkey.

Him taking off his glasses in certain scenes can definitely mean he’s being authentic instead of wearing his Professor Shen mask. But I also wonder if this is a visible indication of him letting his illusion crack a little. So others, specially Dixingren, can feel his power and know he’s something more than a simple human Professor.

Zhu Jiu had said earlier that Shen Wei represses his power/doesn’t use his powers to his fullest ability to stay hidden.

Oh no... Oh nooooo...

I hope this isn’t what I think it is...

Wu Tian’en is unwell. Whatever it is that’s making him unwell can effect Shen Wei too despite the huge difference in power levels if Shen Wei’s worried.

Does staying in Haixing cause Dixingren to experience very slow, gradual light energy poisoning? Is this why Wu Tian’en’s weaker than before and ill?

Assuming the Sundial exchange, Ye Zun, all that doesn’t happen, would Shen Wei still have died because of light energy on Haixing? It would take far longer than 20 years if that’s what it took to mess with Wu Tian’en. But still...

And the implications of this is terrible for other Dixingren that escaped to Haixing, some probably really weak in terms of dark energy power levels, and none stronger than Shen Wei.

Again, assuming what happened at the end didn’t happen, this would mean that no Dixingren can permanently shift to Haixing.

So what about the undercover Dixingren that end up stranded in Haixing after the portal/gateway gets sealed at the end of the show?

If light energy from Haixing messes with Dixingren the same way Dark energy from visiting Dixing messes with Zhao Yunlan, a Haixingren, then Wu Tian’en getting sick over the course of 20 years is not the norm and he was actually pretty strong 20 years ago.

Fuuuuuck this... this is awful. Assuming NONE of the Haixing-Dixing complications existed, Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan would still not be able to have a true happy ending.

Why must the show make it so difficult for fanfic writers that write fix-it fics and the readers that live off of them? No amount of time-travelling can fix this!

This is one of the topics I’ll probably discuss in its own post.

Ugh I feel awful now.

There is so much here in this one phone call... So much saturated in this one damn minute... I feel like my head will implode. (Or that could just be the inexplicable headache I have had the whole day but eh)

“Professor Shen, where are you?” - This was Zhao Yunlan floundering again. I was too busy being worried for and about Shen Wei the first time to realize.

The little pause after Shen Wei points out that of course he’d be at his office because Zhao Yunlan called his office landline is Zhao Yunlan trying to recover the situation lmaoooo

I swear to the seven realms, my heart did the weird flippy thing on behalf of Shen Wei when Zhao Yunlan called him by his name.

My heart did the flippy thing so hard, I felt like I needed to kick my brain into function again lol.

Kudos to Shen Wei for not losing it. Poor thing’s had too much practice at not losing it during emotionally overwhelming situations.

Bless him.

Zhao Yunlan really is too happy to be talking to Shen Wei. This feels like flirting and I see it all the more clearly watching it the second time.

And I bet after this conversation, Shen Wei probably couldn’t go back to his work that night. xD

Let’s play a game. Let’s keep count of how many cases there are in total in the show that had similar themes to the final revelation regarding Ye Zun’s motivations.

Let’s keep a track of how many of these dumb cases contributed to lessening the impact of the YeZun-ShenWei backstory.

Because while I had noticed that had happened, I didn’t notice the similarities this early on. I thought the sole culprit was the fruit-seller-Hallow-brush case.

But this case is even more similar actually.

Person A is wronged by a third party, and suffered a great deal believing person B never came back for them.

Person B believed person A to be dead after desperately trying to find person A, then they grieved.

They met a long time later, and person A holds resentment towards person B and gets upset that person B seems to prioritize others over them.

But then the resentment’s somewhat dealt with once they talk about what had actually happened.

There are differences, obviously. And I do think this recipe for a backstory/villain motivation can be used repeatedly if it’s done well. But Guardian trashed it.

An example of repeated themes for backstories being done well could be MDZS: Jin Guangyao, Xue Yang, even Wei Wuxian. Cuz poverty and the class segregation.

(Continues in part 2)

[packsbeforesnacks]

Notes on Camp || Orion & Winn

TIMING: Friday, April 10th, 2020, Sunset LOCATION: Somewhere in the Foothills of Appalachia, Maine PARTIES: @3starsquinn & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Rio and Winn were supposed to go on a retreat for their theatre class. Winn gets them lost. Maybe the real camping trip was the friends we made along the way! (feat. Yeth Hounds) WARNINGS: None.

There were few things that Winn enjoyed more than a good ol’ fashioned campin’ trip. And given his run-in with the asanbosam earlier in the week, he was more than happy to get out of White Crest for the weekend. Darbussy had been ecstatic when the sun came out on Monday evening, now no administrative excuse for why the retreat would have to be cancelled. He knew Blanche would hate it — hell, Orion probably would, too. But it would be a good bonding experience. Probably.

Blanche had laughed him off the phone when he’d called her to see if she was ready, which he took to mean that she’d put off packing until the last possible moment. Orion seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, though. He’d be packed, for sure. So, Winn drove to the library, whistling a happy tune.

He pulled up on the curb, and honked twice. Winn didn’t want to kill Orion, so he’d dressed conservatively — a loose tank that showed off his arms and only a hint of his pecs. Tasteful side boob, as it were. He honked one more time for good measure, just in case the younger man hadn’t heard him, and set about fiddlin’ with the radio before decidin’ he’d toss Orion a bone (ha) and the AUX cord.

This was gonna be great.

Orion was a mixed bag of emotions, but what else was new? Sure, he did want to hang out with Blanche and Winn. If only his desire to make friends was strong enough to completely destroy the fear of embarrassing himself in front of them. But alas, it seemed like that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon, so instead he would just have to force himself against his own judgement and will to go camping. Really, the only thing he could hope for was that he didn’t have a straight up panic attack like last time, or at the very least that the two found his awkwardness endearing. It was all he had going for him.

Of course, when Winn had offered to drive, Orion wasn’t going to disagree, but he certainly wasn’t about to let Winn pick him up from his house. If his mom had been home… well, Orion didn’t want to think about that. If his family found out he was going out in the woods camping with a werewolf? They would implode. That was how he ended up at the library, bag full of clothes, supplies and snacks awkwardly resting at his side while he read one of the books he had planned on checking out to bring with him. Just in case he finished one. He didn’t know Winn’s sleep schedule, and if Rio found himself up late he could get some good reading in.

The horn cut through Rio’s hearing like a bullet, catching him off guard and forcing him to jump (much to the surprise of a few other students around him; either they hadn’t heard the horn or it wasn’t nearly loud enough to scare normal hearing). Assuming that may be his ride, Orion jumped up and slung the bag over his shoulders. He tucked the stack of books under his arms and ran over to check them out, another honking lighting up his senses. At least he didn’t jump that time.

Orion waved on his way to the car door and opened it up, tossing his bag in the back as well as his stack of books. “Hey! Thanks for picking me up.” Of course, Winn’s muscles were on full display, and Orion rubbed at his eyes to force himself to look away. He climbed into the front seat, holding onto one of the books that he had checked out. “I’m excited!” Mostly.

The corner of Winn’s mouth tugged upward into a half-smirk as Orion took the front seat of his car. ‘Course, who was he to argue with dibs? Blanche hadn’t been ready, so Blanche could lose her seat. ‘Sides, he was more than willing to get to know Orion. Since their ill-fated acting exercise, he’d tried to stick close to the younger man, the same old instincts that made him go into counseling cropping up. Wolves ran in packs, and Winn wouldn’t deny he made friends — or, folks he would call a friend — fast. And since Orion was clearly uncomfortable with Darbussy’s constant needling at all of their expenses, Winn figured he could be (somewhat) of a buffer. He was broad and charming, and Blanche could take care of herself.

Given that Orion had been fairly normal around him — other than the occasional raised heartbeat, which, right, Winn still needed to organically bring that little tidbit up — Winn figured he was doing a half-decent job of making sure he stayed under the radar in his attempts. Darbussy had seemed to notice, though, and, for better or worse, paired Winn and Orion up for exercises more often than not. There was, strictly speaking, less touching and certainly less kissing involved than their initial encounter, so it had been fine — even fun! But Winn still felt like he didn’t really know the other guy.

He glanced over to make sure Orion had buckled himself in (humans were squishy!), and noticed Orion was rubbing at his eyes. He wasn’t yawning or nothin’, but the joke came easy: “Stay up late partying?” Winn chuckled. Thirsty Thursdays, indeed.

But Winn didn’t really think Orion was that much of a partier, if at all. After all, he’d seen the books that Orion had slung into his backseat. Was he doing homework this weekend? Gross. Not if Winn could help it. But then, there was one in the other man’s lap. Maybe he… just liked reading? Winn knew he liked comics. And if nothing else, Winn was great at small talk. “Whatcha got there?” he asked, sticking a thumb out towards Orion’s lap as he pulled off the curb outside the library and drove towards Blanche’s house.

This was going to be fun, right? This was going to be fun… This was totally going to be fun. This would be fun! If Orion told himself that enough he would create some self fulfilling prophecy. He wasn’t really worried about the company, at least not exactly. If anything he was worried about himself in front of the company. Orion had learned that he seemed to make himself far more nervous than other people had the ability to. Not that people like Winn or Adam couldn’t do just fine prickling Rio’s nerves on their own. But Orion seemed to always find a way to make things even worse.

“Ha ha.” Orion fake laughed at Winn’s joke, shooting him a side eye and trying to keep himself calm and collected. No need for nerves right now. “Just stayed up late I guess.” Not exactly an exciting answer, but it would take a bit longer for Rio to find his footing before he could try for a joke. Orion kept glancing over at Winn, mostly because he hated himself he supposed. It was supposed to be sunny today, but still not above the 50’s, which made Winn’s choice of outfit stick out. Knowing what Orion knew, the cold probably didn’t bother Winn much anyways. On the opposite end of the scale, Orion was probably getting ready to sweat during the hike today. He had worn a long sleeve shirt with a hoodie on top of that plus a pair of track pants. But he wasn’t about to make the same mistake that he had with Skylar at the Farmer’s Market.

“This?” Orion asked, flashing the book that he held tightly in his hands. “Nothing, really. Just a book on Norse Mythology. I met this guy who speaks some Scandinavian who offered to help with some translations if needed. So I’m going to reread through some of these and try to pick some out that I hope he can help with.” Orion smiled nervously. That may have been the lamest thing he could possibly have said to Winn, but oh well. Despite Rio’s desire to make some friends in this town, he also wasn’t exactly prepared to change anything about himself to do it. “You uh— Ready to do some hiking?”

“Couldn’t sleep?” Winn asked, trying to pry a scrap of information out of Orion. He was beginning to sense he was maybe, a little bit, out of his element. It wasn’t that Orion was a brick wall, precisely, more than Winn didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. He wished, like with Noah, he could just push past the awkwardness and into a blossoming friendship. But, well. Maybe Orion would open up if Winn revealed more about himself? “Can’t get to sleep myself, a lot of the time. Have to take a sleep aid to get me there.” Among other things. But he’d hold off on suggesting Orion try weed or, well, any of the supernatural drugs and sedatives that Natalia had hawked in his direction. The younger man seemed a little clean-cut for that. Not that Winn really knew. “You look snug as a bug in a rug, though. I run hot. Heck, even in midwinter I was only puttin’ on pants when I had to be somewhere, y’know?”

His ears perked up at Orion’s mention of Norse mythology. When Winn was younger, before he’d gotten involved in sports and his afternoons were burned away with practices and games, Winn had had an ongoing, but passionate, love affair with his father’s stacks of myths. He’d learned a little bit of everything and, while he’d forgotten most of it, he couldn’t deny that he’d cottoned onto the Norse myths the best — the idea of different realms, of the deep magic in those stories, enraptured him. Made him an easy target to believe in werewolves, he supposed. “What’s your favorite part about it?” he asked excitedly. “My favorite deity is probably Frigg or Freyja, though I know some folks think they’re the same goddess or came from the same goddess? ‘S kinda cool, right? Like, Frigg having the whole “I see the future” thing and havin’ to keep it secret and be kind of mysterious. I, uh.” He coughed, blushing a bit. Most of that had jumped out of him before he’d even really thought about it, and he’d been about to talk about wonderin’ if the gods and goddesses were real. That’d prolly be a step too far, even for Orion. He pivoted. “I, uh. Dunno how serious y’are in myths and whatnot, but I can read Chinese. Simplified and traditional. A little out-of-practice, but if you, like, needed help, I could help. If you needed help.” Wait, shit, he’d already said that. He decided to take the lifeline that Orion had given him.

“Shit yeah, bro,” he said, fist pumping to no one in particular. “Hiking is the bomb. Gettin’ out into nature, really seein’ what’s hidin’ in the woods? If you’re lucky, o’course. How ‘bout you? Could prolly carry you on my back, but it’s a lot more fun for the both of us if you can keep up.” Shit, was that offensive? Orion was kind of small, but it’s not as if Winn knew his, like, muscle mass. Maybe he worked out. He fumbled, again, shit, he was really putting his foot in his mouth today. “I, uh. If you want some music, there’s, like—” he gestured vaguely at the AUX cord hanging out of the cassette deck “—that whole thing. Should work. I’m into most everythin’. ‘Course we can just keep talkin’, so long as it’s not, like, dead silent. ‘Course, when Blanche gets in here, there’s no chance of chatter dyin’ down… Actually, speakin’ of which, I should give her a call, we’re only a few minutes out. Y’wanna stop and get some grub before we head out or wait until we get there? This car’s taken its fair share of food stains, so don’t worry your pretty little head about bein’ polite. I can scarf down with the best of ‘em.”

Orion shrugged. He didn’t talk about his sleeping issues much. The nightmares kept him up a lot of times. They weren’t usually as bad if he was sleeping at the Scribe Headquarters. He figured that was because he was away from his parents and that house. Still, the headquarters kept him busy enough that he usually ended up staying up way too late into the night reading anyways. “I uh—I get distracted easily.” That was the simpler way to put it. He didn’t feel the need or desire to delve into the nightmares right now. Not exactly an easy or friendly conversation. “Really? Sorry to hear that. I—” He wasn’t sure what Winn was implying when he meant sleep aid. Like sleeping pills? Or something else? “It depends on the night.” Rio crossed his arms instinctively. Rio wished that he ran cold, so the outfits would make more sense. But he had adjusted. “Oh yikes. I’d freeze to death.” He laughed nervously, trying to push the thought of Winn without pants far from his brain.

Orion had to admit that he was pleasantly surprised by Winn’s interest in Norse mythology. Not that Orion had wanted to judge a book by its cover, especially considering that first interaction the two had during the improv class. Plenty of Winn’s choices had taken Orion by surprise that day. But here the two had found some sort of common ground—and just the thought of talking about something like Norse mythology was enough to put Orion more at ease. “Oh, those are great! Yeah, there are a lot of stories that equate them to being the same deity, but regardless Freya was crazy cool. Some of the stories credit her with teaching Odin what he knew about magic. That’s so crazy cool. Since Odin would go on to be one of the mainstays of Norse Mythology in popular culture.”

He thought on things for a moment. “Obviously Ragnarok is an incredible story. Everything about it is just so… grandeur. It makes some other mythologies look like children’s stories. Which I mean, I guess a lot of, like, Greek mythology has been turned into a children’s story. But it probably shouldn’t be, you know?” A giant grin spread across Orion’s face at Winn’s offer, not knowing that about him. He paused for a moment, not speaking as he tried to home in on a few of the words that he had learned of Chinese: “That’s so cool!” It was broken up and the pronunciation could have been terrible for all Orion knew but he was like 90% sure that he had at least said the correct words. Whenever he started learning the basics of a new language, he usually started with phrases that he said a lot in English. ‘That’s so cool’ was probably one of Orion’s most used sentences. “Oh, I take mythology and history very seriously. And I really appreciate it! The other day I was reading about unicorns and how they’re considered a sacred animal in Chinese mythology, but how they look nothing like what we picture as unicorns. Turns out the idea of a horse with a horn is a lot more European than universal. Which I found fascinating.”

Turned out, Winn really liked to talk. It was perfect, because it meant that Rio didn’t have to worry as much about keeping a conversation going.  Plus, the more Winn talked the more Rio realized that… he almost sounded a bit nervous at times. Which was, well, comforting to say the least. “I’m incredibly clumsy and my body rejects the outdoors, but other than that I’m very excited. I like hiking enough.” He hadn’t done it much admittedly, but it was definitely something that he was interested in doing. With the right people. He giggled at the comment about Blanche. Thankfully, Orion was very comfortable speaking to her now, surprising even himself. “I’m good with pretty much any music. I uh—I’m not really picky about anything. I’m not super crazy about, like, metal. Or Christian Rock, I guess.” The mention of food made Rio’s stomach growl on reflex. “I uh—well, I could definitely eat. Always. But I’m fine with waiting.”

“Hm,” Winn said. “Mostly just gettin’ to sleep, for me, rather than stayin’ awake and gettin’ lost in somethin’ or other.” Winn privately wondered if his transformation had thrown off his Circadian rhythm. The wolf wanted to be out at night, prowling, so, maybe, it would do anything to fight off its other half, to make Winn feel like he couldn’t sleep at night, that he should switch over entirely. But no. He was still, well, negligibly human. Had to live a human life. Not his fault that his inner wolf had taken all of his rebellion and ramped it up to eleven. “Rain helps, white noise. Stayed in Seattle for a couple’a weeks during undergrad? Best sleep I ever got.” Granted, part of that was Roberto keepin’ him exhausted. But, well, Orion didn’t need to know that much about what Winn got up to.

“And let’s be real, Odin prolly needed someone to teach ‘m magic. Shit, if magic were real—” Winn laughed privately “—I bet all those goddesses, like Hecate, Freya, Isis, whoever, would come down to show us what’s happenin’. I remember gettin’ jealous, like, when are dudes gonna get to sling around spells and potions and shit? Like, I’unno, Loki was sort of that. Though, guess they were a little more gender-fluid, so maybe not the right example.” He hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, man, if the Greeks and Romans could see what Disney did to their myths, they’d be, like, super mad. “Go the Distance” is a bop, though, so the dead folks can suck it.” He watched as Orion’s face split into a (brilliant, frankly) smile at his offer of translating, and when he spoke, admittedly a little rough (but like would Winn be rude? naw), Mandarin. It was precious. Winn wondered why he didn’t smile more, it really changed his face. Not that Orion was ugly or nothin’, but there was something about enthusiasm, about pure joy, that really lit people up from the inside, gave their souls (or whatever) a chance to shine.

“Thank my father!” he said back, then in English to cover his bases. Winn listened to Orion talk about Chinese mythology, an area that he, oddly, didn’t know as much about. “My pa taught comparative literature, but I guess he had a pretty… Western trainin’? Or had mixed feelings ‘bout China. Never really found much. But that’s cool. I mean, unicorns are associated, in the West, with, like, purity, right? I can imagine Europeans focusin’ on a horn and associatin’ it with purity, if you catch my meanin’.” He wiggled his eyebrows, to make his intent even clearer. “But, naw, that’s really cool. I’m serious about the offer. Could help pass some of those sleepless nights, and I… miss it, I think.” Plus, like, who knew what elements from mythology were real. Orion might stumble upon somethin’ that Winn would actually run across. He wished, in that moment, he could show the other man. He seemed like the type to appreciate it, rather than run away screamin’.

“C’mon—” He fumbled, since he was pretty fast and loose with the nicknames. Didn’t want to offend Orion, but he felt like he’d heard Blanche call him somethin’ else a few times… “Rio. Just pick somethin’, bro. I got no judgment in my heart. Though, well, actually. Yeah. No Christian rock. This car’s been part of too many sins to not burst into flames. Don’t think either of us would love that.” Rio’s stomach growled, and Winn smirked. “I heard that. Like I said, don’t be shy about needin’ anythin’. We’ve got plenty of time and I like night drivin’ regardless. You prolly know this town better than me, so just pick somethin’ and we’ll head there after gettin’ Blanche.”

Speaking of. Winn picked up his cell, knowing they were coming up on Blanche’s house. He’d been almost taken aback the first time he’d visited her, post move. And then, like, hangin��� out when Blanche had been tailorin’ him for his date with Ricky. It was a big house and, like, Blanche—if her reaction to Winn’s own wealth was anythin’ to go by—seemed, uh, uncomfortable with money. To say the least. Blanche picked up on the fourth ring. “Winn,” she said, “Please tell me you aren’t at my house right now.

“Uh, pullin’ up in five. What’s up?” he asked.

“Winn! My shoulder is wack, you think I’m going to that? I’m at work!” Blanche said. Winn heard a loud rumble in the background. “Gotta go, have fun, bye!” Then, she hung up.

Well. Huh.

“Uh,” Winn said, intelligently, as he put his phone into one of the cup holders. “So, looks like Blanche isn’t joinin’ us on the trip. Forgot she hurt her shoulder, and I guess she forgot to tell me she wasn’t comin’? Just you ‘n me, Rio.” It’d be fiiine.

Conversations like this reminded Orion of how little he knew about Winn, which shouldn’t have been surprising considering the two hadn’t known each other long and didn’t spend much time talking to begin with. At least not about themselves. “That’s cool. I feel like you’ve… been a lot of places? Like travelling and stuff.” As much as Rio liked to think he knew about the history of the world, he had never actually seen any of it for himself. He had never even left Maine.

Orion remained pleasantly surprised by how much Winn knew and seemed interested in Norse mythology, but he was even more surprised by how much he was talking to keep up with the conversation. Maybe it was because the conversation was about history that Orion had turned so chatty. Of course, thinking about it seemed to make Orion a bit more nervous and he resigned himself to mostly nodding in agreement with Winn, chiming in to proclaim “God the Distance is a bop. All of Disney is.” He giggled about the unicorn, the phallic symbol of the horn never really occurring to Orion until Winn had mentioned it. “I- well I actually never thought of it that way. But yes, the symbolized peace or innocence. In Chinese cultures they look like sort of a chimera of other creatures. They’re considered one of the four noble animals of East Asia. It sort of symbolized virtues and it had all kinds of powers associated with it. So thanks, I will definitely take you up on it.

Orion procrastinated with choosing music just long enough for Winn to get on the phone with Blanche. His hearing picked up on the conversation and Orion felt his stomach drop. He was going to be alone? With Winn? Oh god. He was going to pass out. But it was too late to bail now… what excuse could he possibly come up with? “Oh.. right. Well, yeah that’s probably for the best. That she gets some rest.” He nodded, maybe a bit too long and had to force himself to stop nodding. Oh boy. “Um, welp let’s get going I guess!” He finally picked a song. It seemed easy enough to go based on a song that they had just agreed was a bop. So Hercules it was.

“I have,” Winn admitted. He’d alluded as much to Blanche, referenced being from the South in conversation often enough, that it was a fair observation. Winn always felt privileged, in some ways. Even before his trust vested, Dad and Ma had taken him over the country — and beyond. They always returned to Falls Church, but Winn knew he’d seen more of the world before his eighteenth birthday than some saw in their lives. “I always thought to myself, ‘The world’s a big place, there are places some folks never see. I wanna see ‘em all.’ Have you travelled much?” Winn got the sense… maybe not. It wasn’t just the clear interest in Rio’s eyes whenever he talked about the places he’d been, but that helped. “Where would you want to go? If you had your pick o’ the lot?”

He could hear Rio’s heartbeat skip a bit when he announced Blanche wouldn’t be joinin’ them, but Winn was used to it. Would Rio ever not be nervous around him? What was there to be nervous about? Winn hummed along to the melody line of “Go the Distance,” half-singing the end of the chorus when it came up. It was… unexpectedly a little emotional for Winn, but he didn’t need to unload his baggage on Rio. They barely knew each other, after all. “You, uh…” He coughed, hoping to hide the roughness in his voice. “Figure out dinner?” The song faded in the background, and into “I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)” smoothly.

Orion laughed. It was sarcastic, but not harsh. “No. No, I haven’t. I’ve never even been outside of Maine.” He was still laughing, mostly under his breath now. “There are so many places I’d want to go. I want to go to Massachusetts and eat Sonic, first thing.” He laughed again, realizing that without context it didn’t make much sense. “Uh— That’s a conversation I had with someone. I’ve never eaten there.” He shrugged. “But, uh, like a serious answer. God… so many options. I want to go to Egypt. And Rome. And Tokyo. And a bunch of other places.” Not that he thought he’d ever really get the chance.

Orion hummed along quietly to music as they drove along. “We can just swing by any fast food place and grab something on the way. I will eat anything.” He tapped his fingers against his knee along to the music. Winn had a good voice, and the desire to sing along with Disney was strong. But for the moment, his own nerves kept him from joining in outside of humming along to the muses' words. He cracked open the book he had been holding onto and absentmindedly stared at the words. “Sorry that Blanche couldn’t come along. I know I’m not really exciting company. Blanche is always fun.”

“Sonic does make a good burger to satisfy all your beastly cravings,” Winn said, laughing a little at his own joke. Beastly. Ha. Speaking of which… He turned the car away from the road to Blanche’s house, heading towards a burger place on their way out of White Crest. Darbussy would be Dar-pissy if they were late, and Winn knew Rio already was nervous around their professor, especially after that first day with all three of them in class together. “But, bro, we could swing down to Massachusetts on any weekend! Hell, if I didn’t think the teach would kill us, I’d take us there now. Could still camp out, even…” Winn got lost in his own daydream for a moment, humming lighty. “Never made it to Egypt, and the one time I was in Japan, I got food poisoning. Bad sushi.” Winn shuddered. “But Rome is… stunning. There’s really nothin’ like it. I’m not that good at appreciatin’ art or nothin’, but I could get lost in that city for days and never get bored. Why don’t you take a Study Abroad or somethin’? If money’s a problem…” Winn trailed off, shrugging. “Well, I mean, don’t let it be a problem,” he said cryptically.

They ordered quickly, Rio picking up a standard meal — his indulgence of choice being a chocolate milkshake. Winn ordered about three times as much food as he needed, figuring a lukewarm burger reheated on a campfire was still better than his sorry attempts at cooking. Plus, he got the vibe that Rio wouldn’t order as much as he wanted. Even more so when the younger man apologized for, well, for not bein’ Blanche. “Rio, man. Blanche is great. But you’re great, too. Your greatnesses are in their own vacuums. I like hangin’ with you, from what little I’ve gotten to do it.” He smiled, genuinely, poking Rio’s cheek with a fry. “I don’t hang with folks I don’t like. Don’t got much time for that shit. So, c’mon, lighten up. We’ll show B that she should’a come with us! I hope you’re ready for approximately a metric butt-ton of selfies, bro.” His eyes shone with laughter, and he turned the car again, trying to remember the way to the campsite. It was a left, right?

Winn was definitely trying his hardest to conversate with Orion. Rio knew that it wasn’t always easy. Talking to people, especially guys and especially especially attractive ones were not easy for Rio to connect or communicate with. In most cases, he usually found that it was easier to just… not communicate with them at all. But he supposed he didn’t have much of a choice here. “I can’t say the money would… exactly be the problem? It’s hard to explain.” Rather, he did not want to explain it. Especially with that obnoxious tingling feeling constantly ringing that kept reminding Rio that Winn was a werewolf and Rio was a Hunter.

“I don’t really do selfies…” Rio mumbled, but mostly to himself. When Winn asked about the turn, Rio couldn’t offer much assistance. “I have definitely never been here before. So, uh— you’re on your own.” They kept driving around for a while and the more they did, the more Rio was pretty sure that the campsite was nowhere around here. “So, uh— you sure that campsite was here?”

Winn decided to let sleeping dogs lie (ha), and not press Rio on the reasons he couldn’t travel to other places. Winn had been the kinda person, once, to go along with what other people wanted for him. Whether or not he still did, sometimes, was no one’s business but his own, but now, at least, he knew that he could make those decisions. Expectations be damned. His ears twitched a little when Rio mentioned that he didn’t do selfies. Winn was, slowly, learning more about Rio, and the first real thing he’d picked up on was the younger man’s near-criminal lack of self-confidence. And, while Winn couldn’t say he understood, per se, he’d been friends with enough folks with shit self-esteem to know when to press. Now, Winn knew, wasn’t the time.

“I’m not… not sure?” Winn said dubiously, pulling the car off to the side of the road for a moment and flipping his hazards on. Just in case someone drove past and decided to take pity on them. The sun had begun to set over the horizon the longer they’d driven, and now it was almost dark. His phone was little help, having lost signal a few miles back, but Winn was able, at least, to double-check the address. Winn hadn’t really noticed, content to let Rio read in the dim light provided by one of his overhead lights, but they’d driven for longer than he thought it’d be. He cracked a window and sniffed as subtly as possible, not smelling the salty brine of the ocean for once. Had they gone too far inland? He looked out his window, trying to get a sense for the terrain, of the soft dirt and the slow inclines and the— Oh, that scent. Slightly different, but familiar all the same.

“Think I drove us to the mountains, bro,” he said, softly. “Luckily, you can’t piss in Maine without hittin’ a campsite, so let’s keep driving for a minute. Park rangers might have a phone we can borrow, call, ugh, Darbussy and explain that we’re not skippin’ class. And then, like, have a fun, chill, bro weekend to ourselves, I guess? Head back in the morning, pretend it never happened, uh, ha, right, yeah.” He was rambling, he knew, but the last time he’d had a bit of a word vomit, Rio had noticeably calmed down. So, maybe his panic could prove some use. Winn flicked off the lights, flicked on his headlights, and continued down the road, a tight frown marring his usually sunny face.

Admittedly, Orion wasn’t heartbroken about missing the acting class field trip. Rio still wasn’t sure Darbussy even liked Rio. He could never get a read on her after he ran from the class that day. He couldn’t tell if she thought it had been part of his character or if he was skipping out on class. Either way, she hadn’t acknowledged him much outside of it. Maybe that was for the better though. Despite this, Rio was terrified at the idea of spending an entire night alone with Winn. Oh god. “Right. Yeah. I mean… hiking is fun! I like hiking and other stuff. I guess… let’s do it? Just pick a place.” Rio jumped out of the car as soon as Winn had parked and stretched out his muscles, staring up at the sky. The sun had not completely set yet, though the sun was beginning to creep towards the horizon. A few stars were already visible across the sky. “This place looks pretty. Want to hike up that mountain there and see if we can find a place to set up?” Hiking would pass the time and get them closer to the morning.

“You don’t sound too convinced,” Winn mumbled, huffing out a laugh under his breath. Didn’t want Rio to think he was makin’ fun of him or nothin’. Winn sniffed the air again. No signs of anythin’ that’d make their life uncomfortable for the night, even if they were more or less roughin’ it. He pulled out a map the park official had handed them on their way in and squinted at it for a moment before handing it to Rio. “Looks like there’s some trails out here, leadin’ up the mountain some. Don’t think y’want to be in one of the big areas, but looks like there’s some single-tent clearings? So long as we can see the stars, I’m a happy camper.” Ha. He popped the trunk, slinging his bag out and onto this back, along with the tent he’d brought along in a rare moment of forethought. Darbussy hadn’t made it clear whether or not they’d be goin’ with a cabin or what. He started walking, letting Rio set the pace. “We might both be up late, given what you said earlier, but you’ve got a sleepin’ bag or somethin’? I run hot, so I don’t mind you usin’ mine, if you need it.” The winter chill hadn’t entirely left the air, but Winn would be comfortable down to a certain point. The thick scent of pine entranced his senses, reminding him, simultaneously, of home and of something new. Hiking always had that appeal to him — of nostalgia and discovery workin’ in tandem. “Soooooooooooo,” he drawled, trying to let Rio pick a topic of conversation. He’d never been great with silence, unless he was in a session. But he was still figurin’ Rio out. Best to encourage any openin’ up the younger man wanted to do.

The two worked to unpack their things from the back and then set off on a trail that Orion assumed would lead up to the clearing that Winn had pointed again. Given that they had already gotten lost once, Rio wasn’t entirely convinced they would end up where they were supposed to go. But as long as they knew how to get back to the car in the morning, he supposed it didn’t matter much. “Have you seen my clothes?” Rio attempted humor, holding his arms out and spinning around, the baggy hoodie swinging out widely in response. “I’m basically always wearing a sleeping bag.” It wasn’t that the cold didn’t bother him, Rio found himself cold quite often during the winter. It was more that he wore layers of clothes all the time that helped keep him warm. “My family used to go hiking sometimes.” He wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but as he looked up at the sky as things began getting darker and the stars got brighter and brighter, sparkling across the sky and lighting the path for them. Not that either of them needed it, honestly. Rio had no issues seeing at night, and the constant tingling feeling was proof enough that Winn didn’t either. “They’re all super active. Big into competition. Hiking became more of a like… sport. It was all about the race. Some big competition to get to the end of the trail first. I never really got the chance to appreciate all the views.” But that wasn’t exactly a stellar conversation. “You uh- you must like the woods right?” Jesus Christ. Rio facepalmed himself silently and rubbed at his temples. What kind of stupid question was that? “I mean uh- that’s what dudes do right? They like the outdoors and stuff? Or something?”

“Adorable,” Winn said, deadpan, as Rio spun around in the setting sun. It was, but Winn figured as much distance between the truth as possible was likely warranted. “But forreal, if you need the bag, take it. Hell, we can just unzip it and use it as a blanket. Tent’s a little snug, as it is, since it was mostly my backup plan.” He hadn’t planned on sharing it with anyone, but Rio was fairly small. They could make it work. If Rio didn’t want to be as far away as possible, that was. “Same, actually. Well, not the competition thing. My gran’pa, my mom’s dad, was a coal miner, so we went into the mountains pretty often to see ‘m. I spent a lot of nights, when I was young, listenin’ to the crickets ‘n frogs, watching the stars and tryin’ to catch a new one formin’. Ambitious little asshole, in that regard.” He laughed, mostly to himself. “Doesn’t seem like your all that competitive, no ‘ffense, really. Think I like you just the way you are.” He whistled for a moment, content with the walking, taking a long drink of water while Rio rambled slightly. He cut the younger man off with a gentle: “I do. ‘S in the name, right?” He laughed again, louder, at a joke that Rio couldn’t possibly pick up on. “I’ve always felt a little more at-home in the woods, honestly. I like the city, I do, but there’s somethin’ out here that feels more… real? Present? But naw, not every dude has to want to go white water raftin’ to be a load of fun. Way I see it, we should all get to choose our own paths, our own things we like to do. Who cares ‘bout what dudes should wanna do? If y’want to be a mountain man? More power to ya. But there’re lots of things that folks who keep themselves in boxes miss out on.” He paused, looking up at the sky and considering his next words as carefully as possible. “Don’t know if I would’a ever kissed a guy, if I hadn’t shoved myself outta the ol’ box. And even then, I still got so stuck in it, for so long.” There was something wistful to Winn’s voice, a precarious sort of melancholy that seemed like it could tip over into mournful at a moment’s notice. And yet, he smiled.

Orion had to turn away from Winn to hide the red in his face. He had instantly blushed at Winn’s compliment, but didn’t need that embarrassment on top of all the other things today. He was pretty sure he didn’t have a crush on Winn. At least, it didn’t feel the same way it had with other guys Rio had previously had a crush on. But Winn was still a hot guy complimenting him so… yikes. “No offense taken. I’m not competitive at all. I don’t really care about winning.” That had to be a good thing, considering he spent so much time losing. Wouldn’t have been good for his psyche if he was a sore loser on top of being bad at things. “I get that. I used to think I wanted to be one of those people. The like… outdoorsy woodsy type.” Rio sighed, maybe he still did. He couldn’t tell anymore. “But I’m kinda comfortable with being a nerd, honestly. I like reading from the comfort of my own home.” Winn’s words about kissing a guy struck a weird, sympathetic chord in Rio. He didn’t even know that kissing dudes was something that Winn did on like… a regular basis. He had still been half-convinced that the kiss in theater class had been some kind of joke on the new student clearly flustered by the attractive actor. So, hearing Winn say the words made Rio feel… weird. “Maybe someday I’ll fall out of my box too?” Knowing Rio, it would probably be face first. “You seem to have a pretty good handle on yourself though. Like… who you are as a person?”

“I know exactly who I am,” Winn said, chipper and confident. “But it wasn’t an immediate thing or nothin’. Took work.” What was that old phrase? Anythin’ worth doin’ was worth doin’ well? Winn didn’t regret the time it had taken him to step out of his parents’ expectations, to become more of the person he was today. But he wouldn’t lie to Rio either; it had been rough. There had been some dark moments. But, speakin’ of the dark… The sun had set fully now, the stars darting the sky. Winn paused, whistling low as he looked skyward. “Beautiful.” He scanned the line of the sky for Boötes, having picked up a little star-gazing from his nights under the moon. Okay, now, Ursa Major should be… He glanced further to the right, stopping midway to Ursa Major and squinted, thanking his werewolf senses for the ability to really gaze at the beauty of the dimmer stars. “There,” he said, pointing. “Canes Venatici. Or, the hunting dogs, probably of Boötes. But they’re a little hard to see, so…” He traced his finger, farther and farther over until he found it: “There you are,” he said, smiling. “Or, Orion anyway. But I’m sure you knew that. Behind him, though, there’s the real dog star. Sirius, with Canis Major. Any earlier, and it would’ve been under the treeline, I think. We got real lucky. A Hunter and his loyal dog. Or… dogs, anyway. Canis Minor is… somewhere around here.”

“I’m glad you do.” Orion trailed behind Winn, watching him as he walked. It certainly did seem that way, didn’t it? Winn seemed so sure of himself. He talked to people like he had known them his whole life. He walked with a sort of confidence that Rio could only hope to achieve. And he talked about himself with no hesitation in his voice. In Rio’s eyes, it couldn’t just be an act. Nobody was that good at faking it, right? If so, how did Rio learn how to do it? “Everytime I think I do, something comes along and shakes my world.” Rio stopped hiking and stood by Winn, happy to let him point out constellations along the sky. Though Rio didn’t know exactly where to spot a lot of them, he was familiar with the names. “The stories about Orion are all so different that it’s sometimes easy to forget that almost all of them involved his hunting dogs.” How ironic, the Hunter aided by a beast. “It’s said that people in the Nile used Sirius to signal the flood of the Nile River. It symbolized the Sun God Osiris rising from the dead.” He continued staring up at the sky, getting lost in the stars as the cool breeze provided a break in the silence. But eventually the wind was enough to make Rio shiver from the cold, and he broke from the haze. “Come on. I think we’re probably getting close.” For show, Rio flicked on a flashlight. It didn’t affect his vision much, but he was supposed to be a human. The two continued towards the camp, quieter for the final parts of the trip. Finally, the two found the clearing in the trees and Rio happily discarded the bags he had been carrying, dropping them on the ground in a pile and stretching out his arms to relax the strain in his muscles. “Wooh. That was exhausting. We made it!”

“Exhausting, but fun!” Winn chimed in, shrugging the tent off of his back and into a pile with his bag. “C’mon, help me set this up, bro.” If Winn was bein’ honest, it had been a minute since he’d slept in a tent proper. He was, more often than not, content to find a soft patch of ground, let the wolf come out, and keep his ear out for any threats. That long year he’d spent in the mountains, he’d gotten used to it, and, sometimes, he wondered if that wasn’t part of his insomnia. Tonight, he hadn’t brought any aram with him, not wantin’ Rio to get into it (or worse, ask questions), so he was prepared to lay awake, stuck with his thoughts for company. Given enough time, he’d reorganize the entire team six different ways before settlin’ back on their current arrangement. The work went quick, despite Rio claimin’ he wasn’t much of an outdoorsman, and Winn glanced over at the storage container, undoing the heavy latch and sliding it open. “Grab some snacks and we’ll throw the rest in here. Don’t want a bear comin’ after us.” Not that a bear would be a huge inconvenience. It had been… a minute, since Winn had fought one off, but he could still do it. Probably.

No sooner than he’d said the word bear, there was a soft rustle in the bushes. Winn stifled a growl, wolf already on alert. “Aw, fuck. Stay back, Orion.” There was a long stick, left near the firepit, and Winn crouched down to grab it. His eyes trained on the spot where he’d heard the noise, and he used the stick to push back the brush. “Oh, what the fuck,” he said, recoiling back as the creature approached him, snarling. Its tentacles moved slowly, whipping at leaves, and its canine skull was, near as Winn could tell, poking through the remains of its skin. He dropped the stick immediately, kicking off his boots behind him and pulling off his shirt. Then, he remembered. Rio. Shit. He could feel the change coming, his claws and fangs eager to tear through in the moonlight… and he wasn’t sure he could stop it.

Orion didn’t mind helping Winn set up the camp. He didn’t know what he was doing really, but the tent wasn’t that complicated. Plus, Rio was really looking forward to finishing up with everything so he could finally relax and lay back.

Of course, the noises out in the woods would ruin that plan. Rio heard the rustling bushes, immediately tensing up. If Rio had been logical, he would have assumed it was a rabbit or deer or something else completely normal to be out in the woods. But because Rio was paranoid and terrified of basically everything, his immediate thought was some kind of killer monster that wanted to kill them. Or worse, a werewolf Hunter. Or worse-worse, his parents. Rio didn’t waste any time jumping behind Winn as they faced the potential threat. Rio was pretty sure Winn would be more useful in a fight against whatever came out of the woods anyways. But thank god for both of them, the creatures that came out from the woods were practically harmless. Rio breathed a sigh of relief. He had never actually seen a Yeth Hound in person, and had to admit that they certainly looked terrifying. But despite the horrifying appearance and Rio’s typical attitude of being scared of practically anything that moved towards him too quickly, he couldn’t have any other reaction besides excitement towards the creatures.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like Winn had the same amount of information as Rio did. He discarded the stick and began kicking his boots off before ditching the shirt as well. Rio immediately blushed, knowing this wasn’t the time to think about that, but suddenly very interested in looking at anything other than Winn’s chest. Rio grabbed onto Winn’s arm, “Hey, don’t—” he started, but it looked like the transformation had already begun. Rio could see the claws extending and Winn was shaking against Rio’s hand. And he was strong. “Winn!” Rio tried again, louder this time. He ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach as he wrapped his other arm around Winn’s stomach and planted his feet into the ground, putting a bit more Hunter strength into it this time as he tried to hold Winn back. “They’re not going to hurt us! I promise. They’re called Yeth Hounds and they’re harmless!”

Every transformation was different, every time the wolf was let out had the potential to go wrong. There would always be a part of Winn worried that this time would be the time that the wolf really went wild, tearing apart everything in its path. Like he’d expected, Winn wasn’t able to stop himself from transforming, once he began. It was still too close to the Full Moon, he was still too amped up from his encounter with the asanbosam. But he heard what Rio was saying, as the younger man tried to hold him back. In his wolf form, Winn was just bigger, and he felt, as his bones twisted and reformed, as the wooly fur spread across his skin, Rio being pulled up and onto his back, until the younger man was gripping at his coat. Winn growled softly, unsure how Rio, who had claimed he was no outdoorsman, had been strong enough to hold him back from leaping forward. There were a few answers, none which Winn liked.

The Yeth Hound approached them, and Winn crouched down, mock-bowing to the other canine. If Rio said that the Hound was harmless, Winn believed him… He crouched, to allow Rio to hop off of his back, if the other man wanted to, before sitting back on his hind paws, sniffing curiously at the Hound. The smell wasn’t quite as… dead, as he would’ve thought and, like Rio had indicated, Winn didn’t sense any malice from the other creature. Juliet had been dubious, given her normal quarry was (dangerous) werewolves, on other species and how dangerous, or not dangerous, they were, but, as Hunters were wont to do, had recommended Winn assume they were all dangerous. Of course she would say that, even as generally on the side of angels that Jules would. Hunters were indoctrinated in their ways, even the ones that were less stabby. Winn had been too eager to believe it, too, that other creatures might be a threat to him, to the safety of humans. But… Well, he wasn’t human. Not anymore. He couldn’t believe shit that black-and-white. It was a lot to think about… too much to think about when Winn was a giant wolf-man.

He whined curiously, nudging Rio’s back with his head, not wanting to change back (on the off-chance Rio was mistaken), but wanting an explanation as to what Rio knew about the creature. ‘Course, there was only so much he could communicate in this form. But, well, Rio clearly knew something, and far be it from Winn to not let the younger man talk. He stretched, languidly, setting one paw just in front of Rio, ready to protect, if given a reason.

Orion wished that he could have been more graceful while climbing off of wolf Winn’s back. Unfortunately, he was far too awkward to pull anything that cool off. He mostly slipped off, trying to hop to regain his foot once he landed but instead he twisted his ankle and crumbled to the ground and just barely caught himself at the last minute. He sighed at himself and shook it off, focusing instead on the exchange between Winn, now fully in wolf form, and the yeth hound. The whole thing was pretty incredible. Despite reading the books and being attacked by one, Rio had never actually seen a transformation in its entirety. It was… remarkable. And a bit scary.

Before leaving, the Yeth hound glanced over at Rio. Of course, despite everything indicating that this should be another creature that Rio was irrationally afraid of, the only thing Rio wanted was to reach out and pet the dog. But he knew better. Yeth hounds trailed behind humans, following them around from the shadows. They didn’t want that physical interaction with a human. Rio was respectful enough to acknowledge that. The creature, content with the two apparently, scurried back off into the woods. Rio was still shaking from the excitement of seeing one in person.

But that left him alone with Winn. And not just Winn, but Winn in wolf form. He supposed that a conversation needed to be had at some point now. “I’ve always wanted to see a Yeth hound. Since I was a little kid.” Rio detoured, staring at the spot in the bushes it had originally emerged from. “My sister never really understood it. I was so scared of everything and yet all I wanted was to have one as a pet. Crazy right?” Rio laughed. Partly from the irony of his story and also because he was currently talking to a werewolf. A full on werewolf. “But uh- they’re harmless creatures really. They like the scares. But they wouldn’t actually harm anyone.” He didn’t know what Winn was thinking at this moment. Had he already connected the dots? Was he still trying to figure out why Rio wasn’t freaking out over the werewolf thing? Sometimes Rio wished that he could read minds. But instead all he could do was fall back against a tree, sliding down it until he was sitting on the ground and staring at the werewolf. “This is so cool. Holy crap.”

There were moments when there was nothing more than the wolf wanted to do than wag its tail. Encountering another wolf was usually the typical scenario. Despite Winn’s reservations about other wolves, his furrier half didn’t care. This time, however, his tail wagged at the human (?) in front of him, talking adoringly about the mons�� creature that had just appeared before them. Winn tried his best to communicate his approval with a huff of air that could be mistaken for a laugh. The best thing, Winn figured, about being a wolf-man was that he could be expressive, marginally. Rio did seem scared of him, nor was he going in for the stabbing. So, Winn did what any curious animal would do and approached Rio, sniffing the younger man. Nothing on him… or, well, at least not wolfsbane or something equally bad. And then — partly because he figured it would be funny, partly because he got the sense Rio maybe knew that Winn was a werewolf before now, and partly because caving into his baser instincts was, sometimes, just rad — Winn licked the side of Rio’s face.

He bowed his head into Rio’s personal space — look, everyone wanted to touch the fur, Winn had wanted to touch the fur before he’d been turned — allowing the man to poke and prod at him if so chose. Then, because he’d have to turn back eventually, Winn sniffed at the perimeter, stalking around the clearing for any signs of bears, moose, or the like. His human form hadn’t sensed anything, but, well, then he’d found the yeth hound. So, clearly, another look around was in order. And, oh. There was an idea. Rio had said it was cool to see Winn in this form and, short of riding him around the woods, there was one more thing werewolves were pretty famous for. He reared back on his hind legs, coming up to stand tall, inhaled deep and howled at the still-mostly-full moon in the sky. It wasn’t a mournful howl, or an angry howl, but a howl of pure pleasure at being allowed to run free.

But all things had to come to an end eventually and, after another gentle head-butt to Rio’s chest for good measure (and… well… maybe some pets), Winn dipped just outside of the clearing, behind the tent, and shifted back to his human form. ‘Course, that left a naked Winn Woods standin’ behind their tent and, while Winn didn’t have any shame to speak of, he figured he should ask before flashing Rio. “Bro,” he started, “if you could go in my bag and pull out a spare pair of shorts, that would be, like, so great.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the younger man because, well, why not?

Orion still hadn’t quite wrapped his head around the fact that the wolf in front of him was Winn. Moments ago, he had been a human, setting up camp with Rio. Now he was… well, a wolf. Rio had known about werewolves his entire life, studied them and memorized everything he could about the species. Yet, this moment was still more informative than anything he could ever see in a book. He knew a werewolf. In real life, knew one. Winn sniffed at Rio and eventually licked his face. Rio laughed and backed away nervously, wiping at his face. Was it weird to accept licks from someone he knew was a human? Where did the rules stand with werewolves? He knew where his family stood on the issue, obviously.

Eventually, Winn took off, and Rio decided not to follow. Opting to hang back and observe instead. He seemed… happy? He couldn’t be sure, but Winn seemed to enjoy being in this form, out in the wild. Rio had always seen werewolves as strictly human, the wolf form being something that they only used when necessary or when forced by a full moon. It had never occurred to him that some may like or maybe even prefer the wolf form. And then Winn did what Rio had always wanted to see, he howled. Against the Hunter’s hearing, it was unbearably loud. But despite flinching and squeezing his ears shut between the palms of his hands, Rio was smiling the entire time.

Winn came back over to Rio once more and nudged against him. Unsure what else to do, Rio tapped his hand against the wolves head. Was that what Winn had wanted? Was petting something that he… enjoyed? It was an entirely new world for Rio. He had no idea what to do or expect. His heart raced a mile a minute. And it only got worse once the wolf disappeared behind the trees and he suddenly heard Winn’s voice again. Shorts? Oh god. He turned beat red immediately, frantically leaping for the bag and grabbing out shorts, closing his eyes and covering them with his hand for an extra precaution. He stumbled through the woods, tripping over branches and dips and flat out falling at least once. But eventually he made his way to Winn’s voice and held the shorts out, waving them wildly until Winn grabbed a hold of them. “Sorry, uh— Wow. That was… so cool. And crazy. But cool. And did you see those Yeth hounds? Incredible. They look like something straight out of a Goosebumps story. So creepy.”

Winn winced as Rio tripped and stumbled his way through the brush, eyes closed, hand clamped. Not that he was one to go around assignin’ sexuality or anythin’, but… If a higher power hadn’t made this dude gay, they’d sure made him confusing. Not for the first time, Winn wondered if he’d accidentally stolen Rio’s first kiss. Which… oops. He slipped on his shorts, tapping Rio on the shoulder when he was mostly-clothed again, sidling around the backside of the tent to look for his thrown shirt. “Hmm,” Winn said, intelligently. It… Well, honestly? Rio was right. It had been cool, even if Winn had almost gone toe-to-toe with somethin’ harmless just ‘cause it looked weird. “Yeth hounds.” The words felt odd in his mouth, but, then, what new supernatural thing hadn’t sounded weird. Hell, even the word “ghost” was loaded, nowadays, full of things he didn’t know.

But… There was the lingering question, in the back of his mind, somethin’ he needed to clear up before he got too attached to his new friend — even if that friend hadn’t tried to kill him, had looked delighted to see a werewolf up close (and, thank fuck, the wolf had played nice today). “So… Didn’t seem too surprised to see me get all, y’know, furry. Knew a bunch about the hounds, too. Now, you didn’t knife me the second I turned, and you seem pretty chill — and, like, I have friends who do the…” He trailed off. Rio deserved a firm question, more than his rambling. “Are you a Hunter, Orion?” There. It was out there, and Rio could deny it, but… Well, like, he had the feelin’ this dude was bad at lyin’. “No judgment,” he added, as an afterthought. Just because Rio had known, probably, what Winn was, didn’t mean he was obligated to tell Winn everything about himself, so, before he could answer, Winn barked out a laugh.

“My name is Winn, and I’m a werewolf.”

It couldn’t be avoided, Orion supposed. He had used the Hunter strength. He certainly hadn’t meant to. But it was too late now. The last thing that Rio wanted to do was expose himself as a Hunter to Winn. He didn’t want to be hated. He liked Winn, enjoyed hanging out with him. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure why Winn liked him back. “No— I’m not.” Rio began, sure that he wanted to be honest. “I mean, yes. Technically speaking. I don’t really like to acknowledge that though.” He was nervous, scratching at the back of his neck. He didn’t know how to explain this away. If Rio had been a werewolf, alone on a mountain with a Hunter, he probably wouldn’t take it very well. “But I’m not a Hunter. I don’t… hunt. Anything. And I definitely don’t want to be known for that.”

Rio laughed at Winn’s joke, rolling his eyes and stepping away and towards the tent. “I’m not saying I’m a Hunter, just fyi. But uh—very funny!” He climbed inside the tent. It wasn’t big, but it would be fine for the night. Especially after Rio stacked six pounds of pillows and blankets between the two of them. The last thing Rio needed was thrashing around and touching Winn during the night. Nope. No thanks. If there weren’t enough pillows or blankets he would figure something else out. Like their bags, or branches. Whatever it took.

Once he had divided everything in the tent, Rio finally settled in. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Winn knew about Rio being a Hunter and he hadn’t yelled at him, left him or killed him. That was insane. “Okay well… don’t kill me in my sleep tonight, please. I promise I don’t care that you’re a werewolf. Actually, I think it’s insanely cool. But I think I’m going to bed?” Rio didn’t really do sleepovers or the like. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to sleep tonight. But he could pretend to be. “So, uh— I guess we go to sleep now? This is so awkward, oh god. Uh… night?” Oh boy. This was going to be a long night.

[skzm7]

MOBEIUS

BEEZLEBUB’S PURPLE KISS

BUBBLED UP TO SCAR

ITCHIN’ WITH SOMEONE’S SIN

FIRED UP IMPLODING FIST

FEELIN’ FEINT K.O.’ED

SCARLET STAMPED CRAZY! KID

USELESS SHADOW BOXING WALL IS NUMB

JAB HOOK UPPERCUT WHO?

THERE’S A HELTER SKELTER IN SKY CITY

COUNTDOWN TIL IT CLICKS KID

YOU GOT A BAD CASE OF 

WACKO BONKERS LOOPY!

TEN NINE EIGHT

HEY SEVEN

HEYSIX 

WAKE UP FIVE 

COME BACK TO EARTH

PUT ON FOUR YOUR 

THINKING CAP THREE AND GLOVES

ROUND 2 FIGHT!

WIPE OFF THAT STICK

GET YOUR BOTTLE OF LIGHTNING

THROW IT TO THE GROUND

CRACK IT OPEN

YOU’RE TOO BRILLIANT TO BE KEPT IN

LET THE LIONS ROAR LOOSE

FILL UP THE STADIUM

THE MAN WITHIN

DOESN’T GET OUT YOUR ILL

BOX THE OLD WOUNDS DREAMING

AND GET REAL

FALLOUT OF MEMORIES

ROOTED TO FEELINGS

CHAINSAW! HAHAHA

I‘M YOUR SECOND COMING!

SLIDE ON MY LIPS

ENJOY LIKE MANY

THE GRAND CHESSBOARD

OF EBONY AND IVORY

IT’S IN YOUR NATURE

TO GIVE YOURSELF IN

I THINK YOUR SMILE 

HAS TOO MANY TEETH 

FOR A SALESMAN

DING DING ROUND

3, MIND IS MESSY

BODY SO ORPHAN THIN

YOU CAN SEE THE HEARTBREAK 

THROUGH THE SKIN

I CAN DO THIS SO WHY AM I TRIPPING?

BANANA SLIP HEAD SPLITTING

BRAIN FREEZE NO ICE CREAM

BUSY B’S SHADOW BECKONS ME DIVE IN

I WRITHE I WRESTLE I CAVE IN

I KNOW BETTER BUT I’M TOO BUSY DYING

NO ONE SEES MY HEAD’S PURPLE FIRE

DROWNING UNDER THE SURFACE

THESE CANNOT BE MY LAST WORDS

THESE CANNOT BE MY LAST!?

THIS CANNOT BE MY LAST CHANCE

THIS CANNOT BE MY LAST

GASP!

ENTER YOUR UTOPIA

THROUGH THIS GLASS OF MIND

KALEIDOSCOPE VISUAL

TAKE THE CLOCK WITH YOU

SIT ON MY LAP GOOD BOY!

SANTA’S LIST IS INSTANT HERE

YOU’RE A NEW BORN PHENOMENON

NO CREDIT CARD HISTORY

NO RESPONSIBILITY

NO RISK IN THIS

LABYRINTH OF VISIONARY

I’LL HOLD YOUR HAND

I’LL BE YOUR CANARY

FORGET BEING A VICTIM OF CONSCIENCE

WHEN RELIVING YOUR PAST IS SO

M MM MMM DEEEELICIOUS!

AND YOUR LOVED ONES ON EARTH

DON’T NEED YOU ANYWAY

THIS IS WHERE YOU ALWAYS WIN

HERE’S A SICKLE

PLAY GOLF WITH YOUR ENEMIES HEADS

IT’LL TICKLE

HEY WHERE AM I WHAT THE

HELL AM I DOING?

GOING FOR A BIRDIE

CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?

IN THIS BERMUDA TRIANGLE ZOO

HOURS AND SENSES WHAT DID I DO?

MY COMPASS TURNED INTO A U

DIDN’T REALISE I WAS SO BAD

MAD REVENGE NEVER ENDS

NOW I GOT A CLUE HOW IT STARTED

BECAUSE YOU WERE A COWARD

AND YOU DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE

HERE YOU HAVE A VOICE

NO! YOU’RE THE PLACEBO EFFECT GONE WRONG

THOUGHT IT WAS WORKING WHEN IT’S BROKE

DIAMOND MIND REFLECT IN STEAD OF WOKE

BECAUSE YOU’RE SICK

AND THIS IS YOUR SONG

WHAT’S THE POINT PLAYING

IF YOU CAN NEVER LOSE A GAME

TIME’S UP WHERE’S THE GONG

YOUR AUCTION IS UP AND

BONG! YOU’RE SOLD

I GOT SO DARK I FORGOT THE SUN

BECAUSE THE NIGHT IS MORE FUN

WHERE’S THE ALARM WHERE’S THE PINCH?

RING RING! IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY BITCH!

ROUND 4 SAW THE PEN AS MIGHTIER

BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF WORDS

WHEN MONSTERS ONLY HEAR

THE POINT OF THE SWORD

I DECLARE WAR!

LIFT EXCALIBER FROM THE STONE

RECLAIM THE THRONE

IT’S MY RIGHT TO OWN

START A QUEST TO SLAY AND SLICE

THESE SNAKES HISS IN MY HAIR AND DICE

I’VE PAID THE PRICE MEDUSA VANITY

LET’S DESTROY THIS PLACE

WITH DYNAMITE SANITY

DOES YOUR MIND SWIM IN PURPLE FIRE HM?!

MY BURNING EFFIGY?

WRITHING AGONY

WINDOW SHOPPING WAYS TO VICTORY

LAY IN BED CONTINUE THE LIE

WITH NARCISSISTIC OCD

PARANOID ANDRIOD DELUSION DEFICIENCY

SHOOORYUUUUKEN!

GETTING DESPERATE ARE WE?

COULD I INTEREST YOU IN AN ALTER EGO?

OR ARE YOU ALREADY FULL OF YOURSELVES MY DEAR?

WELL YOU’RE HARD TO IGNORE

FLIPSIDE OF THE COIN

YOU’RE THE PASSENGER

I GOT THE RADIO

SEE I REMEMBER

BEING DEALT A BAD HAND 

FROM THE REALER

MADE ME LEAVE THE TABLE

BECAME MY OWN DEALER

BUT ALL I KNEW WAS THE BAD HAND

KEPT ON PLAYING WONDERLAND

DOUBLED DOWN ON WHAT IF’S 

INSTEAD OF I WILL

CLIMB OUTTA THE RABBIT HOLE

BRACE YOURSELF BUSY B

THIS MIGHT HURT A LITTLE

YOU’RE GONNA NEED A PLASTER

‘CAUSE I’M WELDING PETER VENKMAN’S GHOSTBUSTER ZAPPER

YAWN I’M CROSSING THE STREAMS

PAWN TO TURN INTO A KING

ROUND 5

BLACK ALWAYS LAUGH’S LAST

BECAUSE WHITE MOVES FIRST

TO FALL INTO THE TRAP

TIPPY TOES TO THIS BUZZ

FADE YOU HYPNOTIC TO WHO AM I? FUZZ

SEND YOU FIRST CLASS TO WHERE ICE BURNS

WORSE BEFORE I GET BETTER

WHERE HEAVY IS THE HOLLOW

WHERE AGONYS END’S 

IMPOSSIBLE TO FOLLOW

WHERE SOULS ARE SPLIT TO LICK

SWEET SICK TO SWALLOW

WEAKER BEFORE I GET STRONGER

ABORT THE PLAN

REWIND ESCAPE ATTEMPTS

MICE OF MAN

HEY THE TRAP IS LOOSE BUT

I WILL WIN

CIRCUMSTANCE SNIP! OOPS SORRY!

CIRCUMCISION MISSED THE CUT

BALLS GOT LOST WITH THE MARBLES

KERPLUNK!

I WILL SWIM

SIX DRINKS DEEP

WALKING AUTOPSY TURVY

IMPRESS AN INVISIBLE AUDIENCE

AND LOOK AT ME! TROPHY

I WILL MAKE SENSE

I WILL BECOME KING

YOUR BODY’S OUT OF ORDER

TAKE THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

FIND AIZEN AT THE DOOR

TAKE A TEARS HINT YOU’RE GOING DOWN

WHERE NEVER IS THE FLOOR

THIS IS EASY PULL OUT THE STITCH

I CAN BAMBOOZLE YOU SO MUCH

I’M INSIDE OUT LETS SWITCH

JUPITER CAN YOU SEE THE SPOT I’M IN?

I’VE BEEN UP AND DOWN

WITH CHOICE AND REASON

NOTICE PICKING NOTHING

NEVER BEEN IN SEASON

FASHION DISASTER

THIS MAN WENT MISSING IN ACTION

SAVE THE MILK CARTON 

TAKE YOUR PSYCHO STAMP AND COLLAR

I’LL GET US HELP KISS IT BETTER 

MAKE US SOUND

THIS YO-YO SOUL’S TURNED THE TABLES A

ROUND! 6 I’M ALWAYS BESIDE

A PART OF PERSONALITY

MOBEIUS SHYS

UNTIL IT MADE ME

MEMORY WITH A TWIST OF FANTASY

SOON GAVE ME A VOICE OF MALICE

NOW IT’S MY TURN TO EAT WONDERLAND’S ALICE

AND WITH PURPLE STAINED LIPS MWAH!

PIERCE THIS PSYCHIC PLACE RAW

SHOUT HALLEYUYAH AND A REST IN PEACE

SO PRINCE BEEZLEBUB CAN RISE TO THE SEAT

ALL THE WOMEN I WANT TO KISS

ALL THE MEN I WANT TO KICK

THIS WORLD I WANT TO RULE

I’M THE ONE WHOS GONA LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER FUCK

YOUUUAAAYOURRRCANTRRDOGGTHISHHHWITHHHHOUTHHMYAASAYSO!

ROUND 7!!!

THISISMYSCREAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

I’LL BE MY OWN HERO

LET ME LIVE GET MY SOUL SURE

FIND A GOOD HAND

TO RAISE ME UP

MAKE A STAND

BE WHOLE ONCE MORE

SPEAK THE TRUE

BREAK MOBEIUS’ ILLUSION

DOUBT WHAT NO ONE ELSE SENSES - FAITH IN ABILITY

WHEN THEY SWAP SEATS ON BELIEFS SEESAW

YOU’LL KICK YOUR OWN ASS 

AND STROKE YOUR ELBOW

RECREATING EVENTS LOST MY

MEMORYS LOGIC OF WHAT’S NEXT

MOVE FORWARD OR BE

STUCK IN THE MUD WITH YOUR INVISIBLE FRIEND?

THINK I FOUND MY HAPPY THOUGHT

HEY PIXIE I CAUGHT MY SHADOW

SORRY I SPLIT LICKEDY LET’S GO

BUSY B AIN’T GOING DOWN EASY

BORN A FIGHTER FROM CHAOS FIRE

ORIGINAL PRIMORDAL METAPHYSICAL DESIRE

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE KID JUST RETIRE

THIS IS MY POWER THIS IS MY HOUR

TO TAKE BACK WHO I AM

AND GET OUTTA L.A.’S TRAFFIC JAM

DISCOVERY IS THE WISH OF THE SOUL

ROAD RAGE BREAK OUT INEVITABLE

NO ONE CAN SOLVE THIS ALONE

IF YOU ARE YOUR OWN PROBLEM

I’M THE MYSTERIOUS WAY

CAVE TO MY SAY

IN HERE I’M KING

I’M THE PURPOSE

YOU’RE THE HORSE

YOU SERVE ME

LOOK UP AS YOU

BOW BEFORE BUB

RATHER TAKE ON THE WORLD

BRAVE DON’T FEAR THE GRAVE

FACE THE MUSIC

FACE THE ENEMY

ANSWER’S ALREADY HERE

SEEING GHOULS OF DEMISE

OR ANGELS IN DISGUISE

ONLY THAT YOU DECIDE

NO ONE EVER FAUGHT FOR YOU

I WAS TEACHING YOU HOW TO FIGHT

ALL YOU NEEDED IS THE SIGHT

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

WALLS OF STEEL AND STONE ARE A WEAK PRISON

MIRRORED WALLS OF SKIN AND BONE

THEY’VE DONE THEIR JOB PRETTY

SURE YOU’RE TOO LATE THIS IS

ALL MINE FOR THE TAKING

MY HEART’S PURE

YOU CAN’T PUNCH THIS LIGHT

OUT OF MY FUTURE

EITHER SHAKE MY HAND OR EAT MY FIST

STEP BACK INTO THE RING

LET’S SEE WHAT YOU GOT KID

THINK I’M GONNA BE ALRIGHT

I GOT WORK TO DO

LET’S FIGHT!

***

From “The Silent Album”

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DHMQ673