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hebuiltfive · 2 years ago

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Loving your stories and couldn't resist sending a prompt.

Conversationalist: character rambles in their sick state.

My absolute top trope. Gonna ask for John, but will accept whatever the muse decides.

I'm still slowly working through the last half of these prompts 😬

Sorry for taking so long! This one is about John, it's just with Gordon as the POV. I hope that's okay! It also ended up taking a darker turn than I'd first anticipated... still, I hope you enjoy it, @sofasurf!

Conversationalist (feat. John)

The fever had taken a hold during the night and had so far refused to let him go. Long, drawn-out bouts of shivers and sweaty delirium had kept both of them from getting a good night’s rest. Gordon tried not to think about the consequences of that, pushing the worries to the recesses of his mind until he needed to give them contemplation.

Nothing about their current predicament had him holding much hope. Gordon wasn’t usually one to lose faith so easily, however having a sick brother stuck in the middle of the Outback with no way of being able to help him was apparently was the key. John wasn’t even supposed to be out there with him; it was supposed to be Virgil… God, how Gordon wished their resident medic was with them now.

Virgil would have seen the signs.

Virgil would have known what to do.

Virgil wouldn’t have allowed John to get this bad.

Gordon had often sat with and tended to his brothers during moments of sickness before plenty of times, but this was different. He was alone, with a delirious John, in the middle of nowhere, with his already very limited medical kit running out of supplies fast. They’d managed to get through one night, but Gordon feared what would happen if he couldn’t get John some urgent medical assistance soon.

He took a deep breath, trying to will those fears back into the box they had escaped from once again.

Worry later.

The call he had tried to make several times over the course of the night had been a wasted effort. It wasn’t because they were in the middle of nowhere — their comms systems operated even in the more remote parts of space — but because his radio had been damaged during the ensuing fight that had followed dinner. If Gordon hadn’t lost his temper in such an uncontrolled way when that shot was fired towards John, he may have fought better. Remembering the fight reminded him to get his ribs checked when they next had access to medical equipment; he was certain there were a few cracked, if not broken, bones. But that didn’t matter. He came out of it unscathed compared to John.

Gordon hoped Tracy Island picked up his SOS. All he could do was hope, given he had no way of receiving transmissions anymore, but given the fact that he’d already begun to lose that optimism… It wasn’t looking good.

John’s clammy hand squeezed around Gordon’s, bringing the aquanaut back to the present again. His eyes were still closed, no trace of the green Gordon longed to see, but chapped lips began to move. He didn’t dare check on the wound on his brother’s side, too scared to see the infection and thus make any of these last few hours real. Gordon knew that burying his head in the sand wouldn’t help the situation but he still couldn’t bare it.

They’d run out of water in the early hours. Gordon had shared his rations with John, encouraging his brother to take small sips whenever he thought he was able to. It was clear by John’s hoarse voice that he was still in need of more.

“S-S-Sorry… I…. Sor-Sorry.”

“It’s alright, John.” Gordon pressed the back of his hand to John’s forehead, ignoring the hair that sweat had adhered to his skin. His brother was still too hot, but without more water the rag used to cool him down during the night was useless. “You’re going to be okay.”

“C-Can’t… Can’t do a-anything r-r-right…”

“No, no. You’re not doing anything wrong. Just… Hold tight. Help is on the way.”

The lie came easy to him. That was the worst thing, Gordon thought. He tried not to berate himself over it. What else was he supposed to say to his brother who was quite literally dying in front of him? God, he really was the wrong person for this. Words had never been Gordon’s thing, and, even if they had been, he probably would still have found himself at a loss.

“A-All…. All my fault.”

“None of this is your fault, John, okay? I promise you, none of it—”

“C-Couldn’t save… Couldn’t save… My fault…”

Gordon halted his replies, allowing John to use his hand as a squash toy because that didn’t make any sense.

“F-faster… Not f-f-fast enough… Broken n-now. F-Family b-broken… and it’s all m-m-my fault.” Tears began to leak from the corner of John’s eyes, sobs breaking through his lips. “S-Sorry… Dad, sorry…”

Gordon’s heart lurched in his chest and he felt nauseating cartwheels being performed in his stomach. If he had thought his brother had been bad with the delirium last night, that was nothing compared to this. At least John was semi-conscious then. Now, his brother was completely out of it. Was that a sign of his system getting worse? Gordon could hardly see how it was a good sign.

“Dad?”

Those green orbs that Gordon had wished to see only moments ago were now visible, but the sight would haunt his dreams for days to come. John’s question had been spoken with such clarity that didn’t seem to match his eyes. They were glossy and unseeing. The light had dimmed in them. They weren’t as bright as they once were.

He was fading.

And Gordon still didn’t know what he could do to stop it.

“You’re okay, John. Dad’s not… Dad’s not here… Remember? It’s me, it’s Gordon.”

“D-Don’t… Don’t cry…” John continued, clearly not out of his delirious, fever-induced hallucination yet. “Don’t… Can fix it… I-I-I… Fix it…”

For the sake of his brother, Gordon tried not to tremble or let any of his fear show. Whether John was seeing Dad in his place or not, he didn’t want to risk making whatever hallucination John was dreaming up to seem anymore real to him.

“You don’t… You don’t need to fix anything, John. You just need to rest.”

John’s body lurched from some sort of pain Gordon had no way of locating let alone treating. He tried to hold his brother still, but the five inches John had on him made the task difficult. Jackets that Gordon had used as blankets to cover John were thrown across the small space as his legs spasmed out uncontrollably.

“John… John! You need to calm down! Can you hear me? John!”

“Useless… Useless… All my fault.”

John’s self criticism continued in-between painful sobs.

“Not your fault! John, listen to me.”

The scream that followed would remain with Gordon forever. So much anguish held in the God-awful sound, so much agony and distress. He wasn’t sure if it was from the hallucination or from the pain John had likely caused himself by thrashing his body around so violently. Gordon didn’t need to look down to know his brother had accidentally reopened his wound. The stitching wasn’t perfect by a long shot but Gordon had hoped it would have held until help reached them.

If he had the time, or the mental capacity, he would have scoffed at being so foolish.

There was no help.

This was it.

John was dying and in a painfully delusional state, and there was nothing Gordon could do about any of it.

The warm blood that had leaked onto his fingers in his attempt to hold John down, not to mention the tears born out of panic and fear that he refused to let fall in the aftermath of that scream, were a stark contrast to the silent calm that followed.

His brother, who had calmed from his tumultuous delirium, was lying so still that Gordon had thought the worst. The shallow breathes that were still being taken, the uneven rise and fall of John’s chest, had his worst nightmare subsiding for the moment. Not dead yet, just very, very sick.

Whatever had caused John to go into that mini-fit was, for the time being, over. Gordon would have breathed a sigh of relief if it wasn’t for the fact that he sensed it was just the beginning of the end.

He pressed a gentle kiss to John’s forehead, trying to block out the wheezing in his brother’s every exhale, and stood with his comms unit in hand. Gordon may have lost hope in any help coming but that didn’t mean he had to sit down and do nothing.

As long as his brother still breathed, he wouldn’t stop, no matter how helpless the situation seemed.

For his brother, he wouldn’t give up.

So, he exited the small cavern, blinking as the morning sun, already so bright and parching, blinded him momentarily. Gordon lifted the radio unit up, whacking it twice with the heel of his palm.

“International Rescue, please, please come in!”

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #ask game #sickness prompts #five answers #john tracy #gordon tracy #five fics

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charlesandmartine · 9 months ago

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Monday 18th November 2024

Surprise, Surprise, on waking this morning, we found it was raining but still very warm. So, a little precipitation wasn't going to stop us from enjoying Cloncurry. The first port of call had to be the tourist information centre a mere 500 meters down the Flinders Highway. The TI was also home to the Cloncurry Unearthed Visitor Museum. They were extremely pleasant there and didn't hesitate to sell two concessions to us, enabling us to appreciate both their museum and also John Flynn Place, another museum marking the work of the Flying Doctor Services. Back in 1860, two explorers' names became famous for their exploits in surveying the interior of Australia. Previously, we have been enthralled by the courage of John McDouall Stuart. Two more of his ilk are Burke and Wills, who set off from Melbourne in Southern Australia to find a route north to the Gulf of Carpentaria. Initially, a team of 19 men set out. They made it to Coopers Creek, approximately a little under halfway, after battling with poor roads, bad weather, and broken wagons. At Coopers, they created a depot for supplies. Burke, Wills, and two others set off alone for the remaining chunk of the journey. They made it north, although due to dense swamps, they were unable to make it to the coast. Returning the way they had come was fraught with difficulties, running seriously short of food, they had to eat three of their camels, (tastes like chicken) a horse and a python, which gave one of their companions Charles Gray dysentery. Should have had chicken, they most likely said. Gray sadly died of his dysentery and was buried on route. Things were now desperate; equipment jettisoned and very weak, the party managed to get back to the depot at Coopers Creek, only to find it had been abandoned hours earlier. Now, without food and too weak to follow the others, Burke carved B&W, C11, 1861 on a tree stump to leave a message that they had arrived. The stump is now in the museum and bears the marks Burke made on the tree. Both Burke and Wills died shortly afterwards, and Alfred William Howitt was dispatched later in 1861 to recover the remains and return them for a proper funeral in Melbourne General Cemetery. What a sad end to such brave and enterprising men, but the route was now charted.

The museum held other treasures such as the actual police station removed from Mary Kathleen town plus other artefacts from the Uranium exploration. The lady on reception was able to recount stories of Mary Kathleen town, or Mary K, as she refers to it from the time her brother had worked there and also playing sport with children from the Mary Kathleen school. These stories made the community come alive. Amazingly, they had the actual Geiger counter that detected the radioactivity that started the whole chain of events.

The follow-up museum was to the John Flynn Place. John Flynn was a man at the right time in history. In 1907 when he studied theology, aircraft were just taking to the skies, radio was being developed and through his Presbyterian ministry he understood truly isolated communities and he felt a need to bring medical assistance to these peoples. A few key things then happened. In 1911, John was ordained a Presbyterian minister. He was persuaded to write a book of elementary first aid for people in the outback, and he met Hudson Fysh in 1921, one of the cofounders of Qantas, who suggested that air transport might open up the country and be able to help people in John's communities. But it wasn't until 1924 that Qantas took delivery of their first de Havilland DH50 that they could practically help out. Qantas was conceived in Cloncurry, and John opened the first Flying Doctor Service working from an airfield in Cloncurry. The development of a pedal powered radio system meant that people in the outback where there would be no electricity could call in for advice and help. Diagnosis charts were drawn up, concerned people would radio in, and if it was required, the doctor would fly out from Cloncurry to all remote areas of Queensland. The service still runs today but operates all over Australia, serving those tiny remote places and from 23 bases and using 79 planes. What a vision.

The remainder of our day out took us to Chinaman Creek Dam which feeds Cloncurry with water, then back to the Unearthed Visitor Museum to see some wallabies gathering on the lawns outside for a meeting. We suspected they might gather just before sunset, and there they were.

Tomorrow, we are off again, this time to Julia Creek, but on route, we plan to make a detour to McKinlay to see the bar featured in Crocodile Dundee.

ps. Another guest here asked me if i knew what FORD stood for? No, I said. Answer, found on rubbish dumps. He thought it was immensely funny. Clearly, not a fan.

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final-girl96 · 3 years ago

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Chapter Thirty-Four

A/N: This is the end for now. If people want me to continue I will. I have ideas for what happens next and it would eventually go into scream 3.

Billy

I was waiting outside the theater and Film building when Sidney came out with Derek, who was only in a pair of boxers. All I saw was red. I reached behind me and pulled my knife out of the back of my jeans, gripping it in my hand until my knuckles turned white. He was going to die and she was going to watch me do it. I stalked forward, lunging, and burying the blade of my knife into his back right into his kidney. He screamed out in pain and I twisted the knife making him drop to his knees, my knife pulling out as he did. Sideny screamed his name and went to help him but I was quicker. I swung my arm, piercing him in the neck. Blood sprayed all over her face and gurgled in his throat.

"You fucker!" He laughed and pulled the mask off. Sidney's eyes widened, "Mickey?" She smiled at her, spreading his arms out wide. "Surprise, Sidney!" He advanced on her until we heard the doors open. We all stopped and looked out into the rows of seats seeing Stu walking down the aisle with yn limp in his arms. "I'm going to fucking kill you!" He growled. When he got closer I could see the tear streaks that stained his cheeks. He set her down gently on the stage before climbing the stairs. Yn was covered in blood and she was completely still. I looked over to Sidney to see her holding her stomach and looking at her best friend. She stumbled over to her and fell to her knees.

Stu

I was going to fucking kill him. His guts will be hanging out of his body soon. "The agreement was that they stayed out of it! You don't touch them and we wouldn't fucking kill you!" He tore off the robe, smiling at me. "I was just doing what you two couldn't do." I lunged for him, tackling him to the ground and started hitting him. He just laughed through the whole thing. This fucker was more fucked up in the head than I thought. He got one hit in, a hit hard enough it knocked me off of him.

"Fucker!" I rubbed my jaw and stood up. I went to hit him again but stopped when he pointed a gun at me. He smiled and directed his arm before pulling the trigger. I heard Sidney yelp and Billy let out a roar rushing Mickey, tackling him to the ground before he started to stab him over and over. I could hear sirens and had to pull Billy up. "We gotta go, man. We'll come back for the girls later." We rushed towards the back entrance and I stopped to look back at yn. I didn't want to leave her m, she barely had a pulse. But we had to go so we didn't get caught. All I could do was hope that she made it.

Hours Later

Billy and I waited everything out. We watched as they loaded yn and Sidney up into the ambulances and rushed them to the hospital. Then we saw Dewey and Gale getting into an ambulance. Police littered the whole campus and so did reporters. We made our way back to the car before we were seen and followed the ambulances. We had to sit in the parking lot for a few hours before sneaking into the hospital. If we were going to get the girls we had to do it before their dad's got here. But then I kept thinking maybe we should lay low for a couple days to let them heal a little.

"Maybe we should wait a couple days. Ya know to let them heal a little. Yn was really hurt, man. He stabbed her twice and deep. She–she was bleeding a lot when I found her. I honestly didn't think she was going to make it. Fuck, I don't even know if she made it. I'm scared to go in there." Billy didn't say anything, he just kept looking straight ahead. "We'll wait two days then come back. Let shit calm down more. We'll have to sneak in at night after visiting hours. Park the car outback and go out that way to get them out. Might need to use chloroform."

"Chloroform?" I asked. "Yeah, so they don't fight us or scream. You don't yn to hurt herself more than she already is do you?" I shook my head and sighed. He started the car and drove back to the hotel we were staying at. We would need to plan everything out before we got the girls. We also need to figure out where the hell we will be going after we do.

Two Days Later

We were again sitting in the parking lot of the hospital. Waiting for visiting hours to be over and waiting until we saw Neil and Luke to leave their daughters. It was hard to believe Billy wanted to take Sidney and not outright kill her. It was only eight-thirty so we still had half an hour to wait. Then we would have to wait a couple more hours before heading inside. "So what made you not want Sidney dead?" I asked. Billy's jaw tightened and he was silent for a few minutes before answering. "I still want her dead. But if anyone is going to kill her it's going to be me."

After we watched Neil and Luke walk out of the hospital, exchange a few words before getting in their cars and leaving we headed around back. We waited there until eleven-thirty and sneaked in through the back door. We made our way up the stairs to the fifth floor. We walked out into the hall and looked around before Billy made his way to Sidney's room and I went to yn's room. When I walked in I had to take a couple seconds. Seeing her laying there. I snapped out of it and went over to check everything out.

The only thing she was getting was fluids and pain medication. I can give her that. I found some bandages and took the IV needle out of her arm. Then I carefully picked her up into my arms, letting her head lay on my chest. I walked to the door and looked out into the hall. Luckily their rooms weren't near a nurses station. I had a rag with chloroform in my back pocket but she was already in a heavy sleep so there wasn't any need for it right now. I met Billy at the door to the stairs and we quickly but carefully headed down them.

When we got outside we got the girls in the car. I set yn down carefully and kissed her forehead before closing the door and getting in the front seat. Then Billy drove off. It was a stupid idea but we were heading back to California to a cabin we got from a guy we met on the road who also happened to be on the run as ironically as it sounds. But it was deeper into the mountains and no neighbors in sight.

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acepalindrome · 3 years ago

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Plans for my OFMD/pirate island in Animal Crossing:

- the entry from the airport leads into a dock area with most of the villager houses floating on the docks, plus resident services surrounded by castle walls to turn it into a pirate-y fort. Mostly completed, just needs more decorations (I constantly need more barrels.)

- north of the docks is the shopping district with Nooks and Able’s, plus Spanish Jackie’s bar and some stalls with various pirate stuff for sale (ranging from cannonballs and cannons to art supplies and fine fabrics.) Very much a wip right now.

- Past the shopping district is a land bridge leading to the Revenge! Very heavily based on this build because it’s huge and perfect and great for customizing with your own designs to make the ship unique. Highly recommend it if you’ve got the room for a big ship on your island, it takes a while to put together but it looks great. I’ve got the basic build but still working on decorations.

- Left of the docks is Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill (aka Ed’s house,) featuring outdoor dining on the beach. The main room of his house is the bar to order from, then a room for the main kitchen, a separate kitchen for the bakery and desserts because Edward ‘Sweet-tooth’ Teach needs a whole room just for sugary goodness, a gift shop, a bar in the basement (don’t tell Spanish Jackie she’s got a rival) and Ed’s living space upstairs which is a mix of Ed’s goth aesthetics and his new found appreciation of fine things. And jars of marmalade for a midnight snack.

- North of Ed’s house is Izzy’s, cluttered with a lot of barrels and boxes to store the extra supplies from the restaurant, and lots of books and stacks of papers for the guy who’s managing the bookkeeping (he’s got to have a job around here to keep him busy or he gets unsettled and cranky.) His house is mostly devoted to keeping Ed’s business running smoothly, but he does have a nice little room for his pet snake that’s all decorated like a jungle so his little noodle buddy has lots of enrichment (and a few hamster cages for food, because he’s a brutal realist.) He’s also got a surprisingly cozy bedroom, if you can find your way there past all the clutter.

- Next to Izzy’s house is a small farm to supply Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill with fresh produce. Does Izzy manage the farm? Do Ed and Izzy care for the farm together and are working through their decades of issues through the very therapeutic act of growing things together? Maybe! Also don’t ask why there are milk cans. You don’t need to know where the milk came from.

- Right from the docks is an orange grove and little collection of stands to buy oranges, orange juice, and all manner of foods made with oranges. Also a little informational sign about the dangers of scurvy and why you should eat more oranges. And a little medical area in case you already have scurvy.

- North of the orange grove is Stede’s house, featuring a very ornate and very gay rainbow garden out front. His house is also on a little island with a dock outback overlooking a lighthouse. Surely nothing dramatic will happen on that dock. Inside of his house is Stede’s library, auxiliary wardrobe, a nice comfy bathroom in case anyone needs to cry in the tub, and a very comfy bedroom with the framed lighthouse picture. The whole house is loaded with all his weird little nicknacks.

- And at the top of the island, west of the Revenge, is a whole lot of insane foliage! Just a big tropical jungle to explore with lots of natural beauty and hidden treasure (and a petrified orange, if you search hard enough. It’s just a rock I buried at the base of an orange tree, but yknow.)

- There’s also a small beach that’s Frenchie and Wee John’s hangout spot with lots of fire and musical instruments, plus Wee John’s doll, a nice picnic blanket for them to chill on, and plenty of gyroids to sing along with Frenchie.

- There’s a hidden beach north of the natural area where Lucius comes to hang out and sketch people. There are lots of art supplies, books and an art easel featuring an eggplant. There are also eggplant and cucumber items around. For no particular reason. Nothing to do with Lucius’ subject matter at all.

- I haven’t started it at all but I want to use another beach to make a fish market and some other stalls to represent other characters. A food stall with lots of meat for Roach, a bunch of knives for sale for Jim…a stall selling crocs for Olu? Still figuring that one out.

- Also near Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill is a turtle and a crab facing each other as if in combat. Calico Jack has been here.

#ofmd #each of the houses only has about one decorated room a piece #and everything else on the list is like 25% finished #got a lot of basic layouts for builds

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tvandenneagram · 4 years ago

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The Wilds: Dot Campbell - Type 8w9

Dot is protective, caring, resourceful and strong. Dot takes care of the people around her and tries her best to be self sufficient.

At her best, Dot takes care of the people she loves and is a great leader. For example, she assumes a leadership role on the island and genuinely wants to look out for all the other girls. She sees the girls as her people due to their unique situation and as a result takes them under her wing.

At her worst, Dot can neglect her own needs for the needs of others. Dot can also be a bit too closed off from the world (disintegrating to 5) and she starts to become reclusive only going to school and being home to take care of her sick father. She pushes people away and is reluctant to admit that she wants to be with Mateo or wants to go on the trip her father organised for her.

Due to her backstory, Dot has always felt like she has had to fend for herself. Dot had to grow up really fast because of her father's health condition. She felt obligated to help her father and never made him feel like a burden. Even in the island she takes on a leadership role and wants to protect the other girls. When Toni and Martha are both ill she fights to find the pill that Leah lost to try and save both. Like many other 8s, Dot doesn’t want to admit that she needs help and refuses to ask anyone for support, even though she is dealing with a situation that is beyond her age and what should be expected of an average teen.

Dot has a lot of survival skills and is a very valuable asset for the girls on the island. She is very take charge and doesn't want to sit around and wait for threats. Dot is the most concerned of all the girls with taking accountability with their supplies and resources to ensure that they are safe. She is a doer and goes with her gut instinct to try and solve the problems that are on the island, with little hesitation to stop and procrastinate. Dot is very active in dealing with all the changes that occur and faces all her challenges head on with courage and bravery.

In the flashbacks it seems like Dot is a loner and doesn’t have much to do with others at her school. When she takes to drug dealing to support her father financially she encounters Shelby’s boyfriend cheating and buying drugs from her, but she doesn’t interfere as she genuinely doesn’t have any reason to tell Shelby. When they are thrust into the ‘wild’ she brings this up to Shelby but as she gets to know Shelby more she takes back any insinuations she made as she wants to protect her feelings. Dot has a genuinely big heart and doesn’t ever actively try to interfere and hurt others, she will not back down if she feels judged or attacked but she often tries to show the other girls kindness even though she can be abrasive and blunt in her speaking style.

Dot has a wing 9 as she appears to be more introverted and introspective than a wing 7 may be.

Tri-type: 8w9 - 2w1 - 6w7

Some quotes to describe Dot’s motivations:

"This is my rock bottom."

"I haven’t had a whole lot of time for sunsets and s**t."

“You think you know what you've got buried down there... under the surface, but you don't always.”

"I'm not a lesbian. Sorry to disappoint. I just like storage."

"Well, if we want to win those Takis, then we gotta focus. What we’re gonna do comes straight out of Daniel T’s playbook. Second runner-up, Alone in the Outback, season 8."

"You know what? I don't know. I always thought Fatin ran a bit deeper than the whole princess shtick. Ever see her hands? Dude, calloused as f**k. Whatever that girl was doing before she got here, she wasn't half-assing it."

#dot campbell #8w9 #shannon berry #the wilds #the wilds enneagram #the wilds amazon #amazon #8w7 #dot x fatin #dot x shelby #dot x leah #enneagram 8 #type 8 #enneatypes #ennea 8 #enneagram #personality types #enneagram types

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lu-undy · 4 years ago

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I'm not sure if you've already written something like this, but what about Spy showing Sniper his face for the first time?

Here it is!

"Mh…"

"Mornin' gorgeous."

Spy smiled as he felt Sniper's lips on his back, peppering kisses there. The taller man was spooning him, his hands slid along the Frenchman's slim silhouette, on his pyjamas.

"Sniper…"

"Let me just…" The Aussie's hands had laced up to Spy's collar. He undid the first few buttons before he pulled down the shirt, freeing Spy's shoulders to kiss them. His rough hands touched the porcelain white skin and his lips gently grazed it, slowly melting from here to there. Spy lowered his head and closed his eyes, feeling Sniper on his back now. Their legs slid against each other's, under the blanket.

"S-Sniper…"

"Don't worry, I won't remove it." He whispered back, pushing the edges of the mask up to reach further up Spy's back. He kissed and nipped, gently. "Gosh, you're so soft."

Spy smiled, his eyes still closed, and he bit his lip.

"You of all people should know it by now." He answered before he heard Sniper chuckle behind him.

"Spook?"

"Oui?"

"Will you let me see your face one day?"

Spy opened his eyes and frowned.

"I… Do not know." He rolled to face Sniper and the Aussie slid his hands to the Frenchman's masked face.

"I'm sure you look gorgeous under that thing."

"Merci, but…" Spy averted his gaze. "I do not think it is a good idea. Not at all."

"Oh, ok… I-I mean we're alone here, the doors are closed and all, no one else would see you."

"It is not about that." Spy answered.

"What is it, then?"

"A lot of things." He buried his face in Sniper's chest. "One of them is that you will realise that I am far older than you are, far more grey, tired and beaten up by life."

"No you're not. And even if you were, I couldn't care less."

"Sniper, I… I am not the arrogant womanizer that people see in me."

"I know, you also like men."

"That is not what I meant."

"Oh?"

Spy frowned harder and sighed.

"I cannot show you my face, I am sorry."

"It's… Ok, alright. I don't really get it but it's not worth fightin' over."

Spy raised his eyes to his lover.

"What?"

"All I'm sayin' is that well, I'd love to see you entirely but it's fine. I guess we can go on like that."

"You have seen so much more about me, Sniper, I have lain naked in front and under you before."

"I know but… It's odd that in your head you should hide your face more than your… y'know."

"Well, people can recognise me with my face, not with what I have between my legs."

"Yeah, I get it but… Still, a bit of a shame, I think."

Sniper removed his hands from Spy's face and looked away. Silence fell in the Frenchman's room. The only noise was the tireless ticks and tocks of the alarm clock on the night table.

"I am superstitious." Spy's voice slashed the silence.

"What?"

"I am superstitious." Spy repeated.

“What’s it got to do with what we were talkin’ about?”

“Everything.”

“Spook, you make no sense.”

“Of course, I do.” Spy closed his eyes out of annoyance. "You just do not understand."

"Tell me."

Spy laid his head on Sniper's chest and took his large hand in both of his.

"I thought it was only stories but I now fully believe it. Each time that I show my face to a person that is dear to my heart, they… They go away."

Sniper's eyebrows jumped.

"What?"

"It is a curse. Anyone I have shown my face to ends up leaving me, either just moving on away from me, or worse." Spy explained before he sat up on the bed, next to his lover. Sniper sat up too and laced an arm around Spy.

"So you always wear it now, because you're scared it'll happen again?"

"I remove it if I do not care about the person my heart chose."

And Sniper understood that if Spy kept his mask on at all times with him, it was because the Aussie counted an awful lot to him.

"I… Hold on, you say that people went away as if they have left you in the past. How the hell could they leave you?"

Spy lowered his head and sighed.

"Because at some point, they discover who I am and… and it is better that way." Spy freed himself from his lover and stood up. He slipped on his dressing gown and locked himself up in his bathroom.

Sniper watched him move away and sighed. He both found Spy's words ridiculous and heart-breaking. He wished he could do something to help. He scratched his naked chest and ruffled his hair on his head.

Well, he should get up and make some coffee. That would give Spy some time to feel better maybe.

Sniper got to his feet and grabbed his shirt that he put on, but kept open. He went to Spy's kitchen and got the cafetiere ready. He put two mugs next to it and started to gather the toasts and butter, from the fridge. He turned the radio on and let the chatter occupy his thoughts.

When the coffee was ready and the smell gently floated in the Frenchman's suite, Sniper readied a pan and broke a couple of eggs in a bowl. He knew that Spy liked an omelette in the morning, so he got to work. After beating the eggs vigorously, he went to the fridge to take that goat cheese that his lover liked so much and added some to the mix before spreading it on the oiled pan.

Sniper watched as the liquid eggs hardened while the goat cheese melted. Suddenly, the light switched off in the kitchen. He raised his head to the bulb and headed to the switch when a hand stopped his wrist.

"Non, please."

"What?"

"Don't turn the light on." Spy hugged his lover, and Sniper's pupils retracted to a dot as his eyes snapped wide. He didn't feel the fabric of Spy's mask on his chest, no. He felt Spy's skin, and even some of his hair. "Close your eyes."

Sniper obeyed and felt Spy move away from him.

"I will blindfold you."

"My eyes are closed, Spook."

"I don't want to risk it." Spy answered as he turned around Sniper, who felt a smooth cloth over his eyes. Spy was behind him tying the cloth. "Now…" He took Sniper's hands and stuck them on his face, one on each of his cheeks.

The Aussie's eyebrows rose as he touched a face he wished he could do more than touch. He closed his eyes behind the blindfold and tried to project the image of what his curious digits were discovering.

Eyebrows, eyelids, yeah, he knew those. Gosh, Sniper could feel the lines at the corner of Spy's eyes. He loved those. Whenever he smiled, they smiled with him. And the Aussie had the same too…

Nose, mouth but oh my God, what was that…? Spy's hair… Rather short on the sides and behind his head as well, longer on top. So soft and straight, it flowed between Sniper's fingers like threads of silk.

His thumbs brushed Spy's forehead, his eyebrows and down his temples, his naked cheeks to end on his lover's lips. They were pursed up in a smile.

"I-your hair feels amazin'."

"Merci. It is grey at the front here…" Spy took Sniper's hand and guided him. "And on the temples, here and here. The rest struggles to stay black."

"Gosh…" Sniper bit his lip. "I wish I could see it… And see you really. It's hard to imagine it all with just my hands touchin' you."

"I am sorry. I wish I could but…"

"Hey, it's fine. It's ok."

Spy put his hands flat on Sniper's, which were sandwiching his face.

"I… I cannot afford to lose you. I know it is egotistic, but non. Y-you are… non."

"Hey…?"

"I would rather lie to you about my face and live with the guilt of lying to you continuously, rather than risk losing you."

"Love… I… I don't want to force you and I'm not forcin' you but you know I'm not gonna leave you. You know I don't care about what you look like, you could look horrible and I'd still stay, cause I don't just like you for your face. I just… You're such a good bloke, and a pleasure to live with."

"Sniper, I have heard these words a million times before and yet…"

"Mundy. Name's Mundy. I have only my parents, no siblings. They… They adopted me. They own a little farm in the Outback, nothin' big, just enough to pay the bills and keep them busy. I… When I was a kid, I was bad at school and dropped it as soon as I could. Been workin' with huntin' contracts ever since because Dad had shown me how to and there was nothing else I was half-decent at."

Spy frowned.

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I want you to understand that I… I-I… I don't just stay with you to spend the nights and all… It's… What do I need to do for you to get it? I… I bloody love you!" Mundy burst out. "I won't leave you, I… If I could I'd stay with you forever!"

"If you could?" Spy asked.

"If… If… I was never the one who left anyone. I was always the one who got dumped."

"Why?"

"Because people don't see themselves buildin' anything with me! I'm a weirdo who lives in a van, I don't have a house or a flat of my own, my address is still my parents'. It's-it's not like I have a normal job and a normal life and…" Sniper pulled Spy's head against his chest and held him close. "You're one of the very few blokes I really feel like… Like we can be a bit more than just what we are. I mean… It makes so much sense. No one gets it, you and me, but-but I feel it. I feel comfy with you, like you've always been with me and… Spook, please… What do I need to do for you to believe me?"

Silence fell for a while and their embrace was intense.

"I would love to believe you." The Frenchman said and felt one of Sniper's hands in his hair, his fingers between his locks and pressing him against his bare chest.

"Why don't you?"

"I am scared… Mundy."

"Don't be. I'm here." He bent his head down to kiss Spy's hair. "Gosh, even your hair smells of you."

"Thank you."

"Spook…"

"Lucien." Spy answered, nuzzling in his lover's chest. "My name is Lucien. My parents left this world a long time ago and I have no other family left. My mother used to be a dressmaker, and my father, a lawyer. They lived in the South-West of France, where I was born and raised, under the sun, and between green and red grapes."

"Why're you tellin' me all this now?"

"Because I am more scared than ever."

"Why? I got you here, you're in my arms, nothin's gonna get to you."

"Oui but… Hold on."

Lucien pushed himself away from his lover's embrace and Mundy felt the cloth around his eyes go.

"C-can I open my eyes? You put your mask back?"

"Oui." Lucien flipped the switch to turn the lights on.

"Gosh, Spook!" Mundy slapped his hands on his face as soon as he realised that his lover had lied and he hadn't put his mask back on. "Bugger I nearly saw you!"

"Please…" Sniper felt his lover's hands on his wrists, pulling them down.

"Spook…"

"Lucien." Spy corrected him and as he removed Sniper's hands from his face, he saw that the Aussie had kept his eyes closed.

"But you said you didn't like it if I saw you."

"I have changed my mind."

"Why?" Mundy continued to speak with closed eyes.

"Because of what you said."

Mundy felt his lover's hands on his naked chest. He opened his eyes.

"Oh bloody hell… Look at you… You're…"

His hands immediately went back to Lucien's face and touched again, stroking, brushing, grazing, his eyes darted left, right, up and down.

"My God… H-how…?"

Lucien tried smiling, but not too much. He was very self conscious about his age showing in the million wrinkles on his face when he smiled.

"What do you think - mh?!"

Spy was surprised mid-sentence by his lover's lips. And the intensity, the force with which he was pulling his body and his hair, his very lips too into the kiss. The Frenchman almost felt his feet take off of the ground.

"What was that about?" He asked, although being as breathless as his lover.

"How could you ever think you're too old or ugly or whatever? You look better than in my dreams, you look… Y-you… I-I don't know what the word is, or even if the word exists or-or maybe there's a sentence or maybe an expression? Bloody hell, what am I sayin?!" Mundy's voice was high-pitched and broken, he was out of air and stopped to catch his breath for a while. "You're gorgeous, you're so beautiful, you're… How could people leave you after seein' your face, you look bloody fantastic." Mundy pulled his lover close and hugged him all over, ending with his cheek on top of Lucien's head.

"Mundy…?"

The Aussie rolled his eyes and closed them in bliss, scratching his lover's head as he would a cat.

"Say my name with that accent once more and we're gonna skip breakfast to go straight for lunch." He growled.

"Mundy?"

"Gosh…"

"May we still have breakfast?"

"Maybe."

Both smiled and Mundy kissed his lover on the head.

"Lucien?"

"Oui?"

"Why did you change your mind?"

Lucien raised his eyes to his lover.

"I told you, because of what you said."

"What did I say?"

The Frenchman smiled and blushed. This time, Mundy could see it so clearly that he couldn't help but stare, and his own cheeks turned pink.

"You said that you loved me." Lucien answered.

"Yeah, and I do."

Their smiles widened.

"It is the first time you tell me this."

"Yeah, it's hard to say."

"Indeed, it is." Their eyes met and lingered. "I love you too, Mundy."

"Alright, you looked for it…" The Aussie dragged his lover out of the kitchen.

"What-? Where-?"

"Bedroom, now. Breakfast in bed…"

"What?" Lucien asked as he was led to the bed.

"C'mere…" The Aussie pushed his lover deeper in the sheets.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy

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peigslayers · 3 years ago

Text

and now for dean poems so sorry everybody

To My Father

David Cooke So I send these words out, Faltering, along an unlit path Though what words now Can urge your ghost To break its final silence, Terse enough whilst living? Or what do I know Of that life you led The years before I was born When, with a minimal nostalgia, You quit that Sligo outback To skip through towns In a country at war? A potato-picking nomad, A grafter, you biked flat miles All across the Eastern Counties. Your son, And now a father, too, I have taken your place To resemble you more and more: Born one country and a world apart.

Lazarus Risen

Peter Sirr

How could my body not obey the voice Choiring flesh back onto the bones? Lumbering out into the hectic light Like some dishevelled beast, I found myself Notorious, and would have returned to darkness But that cool and candid gaze unstitched My shroud till it fell about me like skin And I walked among my weeping, bewildered kin.

Now their houses fall silent when I enter And children cry. Even the trees whisper Among themselves as I pass, myself a leaf Some thunderous air has blown to this Unnatural resurrection - Sustained by a miracle, like flowers in a vase My astonishing life continues in parenthesis And strangers beat on my door

Who only know that death advances. How should I expect them to understand My need for darkened rooms and blankets To cover my head? I remember Barabas, drunk, circling the cross as blood Issued like a parable no-one understood; How when they buried him I hid and waited To see the wound his body constellated

Burn through the stones. Is it madness Drives me now to watch in the evenings The gentle procession of light From the grey loaves of the cemetery? Here lie the unprotesting multitudes, Prisoners of a dry, persuasive air. And I am Lazarus, venturing forth. My brittling bones have seen the dark before.

An Equestrian Event

Joe Sheerin The most important news that year Was my own death. I read it first In the embers of the christmas tree. February confirmed it baring the knuckles Of the ground and whipping late piety Into the snivelling hedges.

From then on nothing mattered, famine and war Abroad, small family dramas at home, the Relentless patriotism of sport, the sun making His tedious rounds of the world were a dull Backcloth to my fierce play.

Breaking the news to the family was terrible The dinner things half cleared, I coughed For attention and in a newscaster's voice Announced my oncoming death. We had cream And tinned peaches for dessert.

Only my job remained constant. I stuck Like a tick fattening on the body of dull Routine. Over the months surreptitiously I carved my initals deep in the underdrawer Of my desk and read in the deep runes A final sense of purpose through my fingertips.

Let the horseman come.

When the Women Have Gone to Bed James Simmons

Your hand reaches me down, the square bottle of Jim Beam from your sister's drinks cupboard. The glasses are on the shelf Above, tumblers, too big for whiskey. Choose the smallest and pour a measure with your eye, the way you learnt in the bar trade. The years have made you generous, so the customers are lucky. And you are the customer.

Me, I'm a slightly overflavoured whisky, perfumed and rough, sour mash. Under the tap take care. Let it run steady before you proffer the glass. It never works to undilute from the bottle. Whisky's a short never a thirst quencher, and drinking from brimming tumblers is missing the whole point, tasteless, dangerous.

Set down your glass and put away the bottle. This is the last tonight. Douse the lights in the kitchen. Carry your glass back to that easy chair Whose square arm holds nicely Ashtray and drink. Fag lit, lift Tanner's The Rain of Wonder, the chapter on Hemingway. Sip, take a drag.

Remember this. You misunderstood me if you think you need more, if you think of the next glass before you start on this one. I say, 'Drink me, be happy, read til your mind wonders, then go to bed.' If you reach for another, tomorrow night I'll be different, a friend grown dangerous, and so much emptier than you expect.

Bonfire Ryan Vine

Three snowflakes for every black chip of soot we send into the sky. And he can feel the snow always

falling, my father, who orders me to ready the fire. So I pile chopped buckthorn at the edge of the yard

where the switchgrass hasn’t yet turned to swamp and drizzle from the Folgers can dirty oil

across the branches. The bark on the grey kindling peels and darkens where the fuel soaks in,

and beneath the heap – and for the fuck of it on top – I crumple open sheets of last week’s News Tribune.

The forest is flashing its bonewood, but under my jacket I shine like a marathoner, like a sword in its sheath.

When father comes stumbling through the snow with a drink, I pack the pipe, pass it, pack it again. Every time

I take a hit I hear the stylus drop and drag through the groove: I’m not afraid. I light the fire.

I’m happy with what happens a hundred years from now: the soot I loose gathers like a new moon. My son,

his son, staring through the snow-dappled sky, both swear they can see it, spinning in perpetual eclipse,

even though – like me – they know they lie

#yes #this is navel-gazey as shit #i am going to do one more post after this and then no more poetry for a while #dean winchester #spn

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betwecouldmakesome · 5 years ago

Text

car full of moments untold

fandom: julie and the phantoms

pairing: luke/reggie/alex and julie/flynn

word count: 3,656

read here on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090439

Julie watches critically as Luke and Reggie seemingly play Tetris with everyone’s bags to get them to fit into the trunk of Alex’s Subaru outback. She isn’t sure why they have so much packed, they only plan on being gone 3 weeks. Flynn made sure to mark where their route and local laundry mats overlap so lack of clean clothes shouldn’t be an issue.

She also has a sneaking suspicion that one of Luke’s duffle bags is entirely beanies. She’s going to let it slide, knowing she’ll end up borrowing them.

She, however, won’t let whatever Reggie is trying and failing to smuggle into the car by hiding it behind his leather jacket, slide.

“Reginald!” Julie calls as she pushes off from the garage she was leaning against, hiding her smile when he jumps and flails. He looks to Luke for help, who shrugs and gives him a look, one she knows means “you’re on your own dude” before he heads back inside.

Reggie leans against the car and brings his hand up to hold his leather jacket closer to him, “Hey! Julie, fancy seeing you here, how’s it going? I’m doing fantastic, totally not doing anything."

“Whatcha got there?” she asks, purposefully ignoring his question and pointedly looks at his hand. Now that she’s closer, she can make out that the something he is holding is moving.

“What? this?” He lifts his hand and chuckles nervously before rubbing at the back of his neck, “it’s just uh, my binder? Yeah! my binder! I wanted to make sure I have a few extras on the trip just in case?” It sounded more like a question then anything.

Julie hums, knowing the boys made sure their binders were the first bags packed. They even checked to make sure they were in the car three times.

It only takes 13 seconds of making direct eye contact with him before he cracks, which to be fair, is a new record for him.

“Okay! Stop giving me the disappointed mom face.” Reggie sighs. He pulls his hand out from underneath his jacket, revealing Miss Petunia, his pet corn snake.

Julie continues to stare at him, slowly raising her eyebrows higher.

“Okay! Okay I’m going” He turns around heading back inside, presumably to give Petunia to Carlos who agreed to take care of her while they were away.

Julie sighs, this is going to be a long trip.

«»

They haven’t even made it out of Los Angeles before it starts.

“Why does Luke get shotgun?” Reggie complains, shoving his upper body between the two front seats.

“Because I won rock-paper-scissors.” Luke says, shoving Reggie back by his forehead. He sounded way too proud for someone who won a child’s game that involves no skill.

“Why is that how we always decide things? I always lose” Reggie pouts, crossing his arms across his chest.

“That’s why we do.” Luke laughs, quickly flattening himself against the door when Reggie lurches forward again.

“Hey! Cut it out. Reggie put your seatbelt on, you can switch with him when we stop.” Alex interjects, his gaze flickering between the road and Reggie.

«»

They’ve only been back on the highway ten minutes when Julie slurps down the rest of her slushie, noisily sucking on air at the end. It only takes a few seconds of her shifting around before she leans forward and announces her need to pee. Reggie and Luke quickly agree with her, although Luke looks sheepish about it.

“Seriously?” Flynn asks, raising a less than impressed eyebrow.

“Why didn’t you go at the gas station?” Alex also is not impressed but his eyebrows are less expressive then Flynn’s.

“I didn’t have to go then” Julie defends, Luke and Reggie nod in agreement.

“This is why Flynn is my favorite.” Alex complains. Although he changes lanes to get off at the next exit, so it doesn’t hold much weight

«»

It is pushing half past nine before Alex decides they’re done for the day. They planned on driving until eleven but there are only so many road games that he can take. If he had to listen to one more game of eye spy, he was going to drive them straight off a bridge. Flynn, the goddess she is, finds them a motel to stay in with two available rooms and reads off the directions to him.

For the first time since they left, silence takes over the car when they pull up to the motel. The place is creepy looking, like straight out of a horror movie.

After spending about a good twenty minutes trying to convince Reggie the motel is not haunted and that they won’t die, they cautiously make their way up the old rickety stairs leading to the second floor. They all jump when a loud clang echoes out from the alleyway and quickly scuffle up the rest of the stairs and into their respective rooms.

Alex lets out a relieved sigh, locking the door behind them and looks around the room. It’s not as bad as he was expecting. There is a weird smell he can’t, and doesn’t, want to identify, but it looks relatively clean.

Reggie comes out of the bathroom with Luke right behind him, both now having taken off their binders, changed into pajamas, and brushed their teeth. Reggie drops his backpack at the end of the bed and flops next to it, immediately grabbing the tv remote, “I’m so tired, driving is exhausting.”

Luke shoves at Reggie till he groans and moves to the top of the bed. Reggie takes the side farthest from the door and Luke lays beside him, taking the middle as he called dibs on it, “You didn’t even drive, Alex did all the work.”

Alex listens to them bicker while he brushes his teeth, dreading going back out there. He might have been the one to convince Reggie the motel wasn’t haunted but that does not mean he wants to sleep closest to the door. He spits out the mouthwash and heads back into their room, not at all surprised to see Reggie already asleep cuddled into Luke who looks seconds away from passing out himself. Alex smiles softly and shuts off the lights, he leaves the tv on but turns the volume down. He slides in next to Luke, who immediately, even in his half-asleep state wraps his arm around him and pulls Alex closer to him, burying his face into Alex’s neck. It doesn’t take Alex long to fall asleep, the comfort of laying with his boyfriends outweighing the worry of being haunted.

«»

Julie and Flynn wait till ten am for the boys to wake up before giving up and going to explore the town on their own. They walk down main street, hands intertwined, weaving their way through the crowds of people, stopping at any store that catches their eye.

So far, they had stopped at a local café for coffee, a bookstore where they got books for themselves and for each of the boys. Their favorite spot so far was a thrift store that they spent most of their morning trying on the most ridiculous clothing items they could find. and were now googling places they could go next.

Flynn keeps her attention on her phone as she walks, googling places they could go next. She glances up once and awhile but mostly relying on Julie to make sure she doesn’t run face first into a pole. She hums in question when Julie tugs at her arm, only to get her arm tugged on harder in response.

“Look!”

“What? Is there another dog in a stroller?” she asks, locking her phone and sliding it into her back pocket.

Julie grins and points across the street, “We have to go there.”

Flynn eyes where Julie is pointing and grins back at her, letting Julie pull her across the street to where a tiny tourist trap store is.

The bell rings when they push open the door. The person behind the counter jumps at their arrival, startled by the bell, and plasters a smile on their face before just nodding at them in greeting and goes back to flipping through their magazine.

They decide to split up and peruse the shelves for Knick Knacks. Looking for gifts for their families and funny things for the boys.

Julie ends up getting Carlos a snow globe with a ghost inside, her dad a joke book, a pair of earrings for her tía, some shoelaces with rainbows on them for Alex, and two cowboy hats for Luke and Reggie.

Flynn gets her mom a scented candle gift set, her dad a 1,000-piece puzzle of the town, her older brothers each a screaming goat figurine and a world’s okayest brother coffee mug, an assorted pack of stickers for cryptids for Alex, a pair of socks with ostriches on them for Luke, and a kid leash for Reggie.

(She got him a stuffed horse as a real gift but the look on his face, and the laughter from everyone else, when she hands him the leash is worth spending the extra money.)

«»

It takes 3 days and too many coffees and red bulls for them to get Alex to let Julie drive.

It takes an additional 15 minutes for them to convince him that they will not, under any circumstances, let Luke drive, before he hands over the keys and climbs into the back with Luke and Reggie, falling asleep in seconds.

«»

They are somewhere in Arizona when it becomes evident that it is too hot to keep driving. The temperature pushing 106° Fahrenheit and they are sweating through their t-shirts, hair sticking to the nape of their necks. They are practically all climbing over each other to get out of the car when Alex slows to a stop, having found a river nearby to stop at. Reggie and Luke collapse on the grass under the shade of a tree, leaving Alex, Flynn, and Julie to rummage through the bags for their bathing suits. They jerk upwards with a yelp when Julie throughs their swim trunks and tank tops at them, managing to hit them right in the face.

Luke is the first one changed and immediately runs towards the water. He dives under as soon as it’s deep enough before coming up again just as quick, a wide grin on his face as he shakes out his hair.

“Last one in has to pay for dinner!” He yells out.

The rest of them all share a look before sprinting towards him, letting out battle cry’s as they hit the water

«»

After spending a few hours having chicken fights and wading through the water they decide to camp out beside the river for the night. Alex makes a quick trip to the nearest store to get the supplies to make sandwiches and s’mores, Reggie and Flynn oversee the fire while Luke and Julie set up their sleeping bags.

They settle into their sleeping bags, the sound of crickets chirping, the river flowing, and the crackling of dying embers from fire the only noise, everyone silent as they look up at the stars. It’s dark, the fire barely going anymore, the moon and bright stars now their only light source. It’s peaceful and reassuring in a way the city could never be.

“What if we didn’t go back?” It’s Luke who whispers it, but it doesn’t matter, they were all thinking it, this is the most relaxed they’ve felt in forever.

«»

They take lots of pictures during their trip, snapping them whenever they get a chance. Photos of Luke, Flynn, and Julie passed out in the back seat, cuddled up and drooling on each other. Videos of Reggie yelling “Horses!” and pressing his face against the window every time they drive by any and Alex saying “if you do that one more time, I swear I’m going to crash the car” every time. They take pictures of themselves at every state sign they pass, and every landmark they visit. They take pictures of the scenery, the sun rising and setting. There are videos of them singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. They have videos of every dumb stunt the others try, videos of them joking and laughing. They take as many as they can, trying to capture every moment, hoping to savor as much as they can.

«»

It takes Julie and Flynn 5 days to realize Reggie and Alex never call their parents.

It takes a few more for them to realize Luke doesn’t answer when his do.

«»

Julie and Flynn are leaning against each other drifting in and out of sleep, Luke already snoring in the passenger seat when they get startled awake by Alex swearing loudly and slamming on his breaks before making a U-turn.

“Alex! What the hell?” Julie yells, smacking the back of his headrest repeatedly.

He swats at her hand halfheartedly, “We forgot Reggie at the last stop!”

They all exchange a look, knowing they will never hear the end of this.

«»

Alex knows, rationally that it’s dumb to worry. Reggie can take care of himself, but there’s still a hollow feeling in his stomach as he pulls back into the run-down gas-station. He sure they’ll laugh about it later, just another funny story to tell, but the silence that hangs in the air as they pull in to see Reggie nowhere in sight is chilling.

As soon as the car is in park, they all spill out, running across the parking lot and into the building.

Reggie is fine, of course. They find him sitting on the checkout counter, kicking his legs back and forth as he chats with the cashier who’s working. He beams when he notices them, waving at them with the hand he is holding a hotdog in.

“Hey guys!”

Alex is the first one to react. He rushes forward and pulls Reggie into a tight hug, lifting him right off the counter, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

Reggie hugs him back at laughs against his neck. “Took you long enough.”

«»

They get ten miles down the road before Reggie clutches his stomach and groans, “I’m gonna hurl.”

They pull over three more times for him to throw up before deciding to stop for the night.

Reggie swears that he is never eating another hotdog again.

«»

It’s six am, raining and gloomy out as they leave the motel. It is entirely too early after checking in after midnight. Alex wordlessly hands the keys to Julie and climbs into the back, Reggie and Luke both still half asleep following him.

They don’t wake up for another few hours and even then, it’s not by choice, it’s by the girls shaking them awake. Flynn hands the cardboard tray with 3 coffees back to them and goes back to quietly talking to Julie.

Reggie yawns and takes a sip of theirs, leaning forward after to kiss the girls on the cheek in thanks.

“It’s a Them day.” They say, slouching back against Luke. They only stay awake long enough to hear the groups hums or mumbled “okay’s” in acknowledgment.

«»

They get a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. A straight stretch of road going for miles and big open fields going as far as they can see.

“Shit,” Alex swears under his breath and looks to Reggie hopefully, who shakes his head and looks to Luke, only to get a sheepish shrug in response.

“Shit.” Alex repeats, louder this time.

Julie and Flynn exchange a glance before rolling up their sleeves, “We’ve got this, boys.”

“How did you know how to do that?” Reggie asks in awe, as the girls stand back up while wiping the dirt of their hands. The flat tire now replaced by the spare.

“My mom taught us.”

“We’d be lost without you.” Luke grins.

Flynn pulls him into a side hug and ruffles his hair, “Damn right you would.”

«»

Alex pokes at the paint on his cheeks, checking to see if it was dry. He had rainbow stripes on one side, and purple, white, and green on the other. He had been the one put in charge of doing everyone’s face paint and he had waited to do his own last. Luke had the demiboy flag painted on one cheek and the ace flag on the other. His nails painted pink, yellow, and blue, and is wearing a crop top with a trans flag wrapped around him like a cape. Reggie had Alex paint the genderfluid flag and trans flag onto his face, and his nails painted with the bi flag colors. Julie has the demigirl colors on one cheek and the bi colors on the other, with an ace flag wrapped around her. Flynn has dark orange, light orange, white, pink, and dark pink, representing the lesbian flag painted onto both cheeks.

Alex reaches around Reggie to grab his trans flag, the last part of his outfit, and wraps it around his shoulders.

Julie claps her hands together, getting everybody’s attention, “Everyone ready?”

Reggie lets out a shout of excitement, grabbing Alex and Luke’s hands, lacing his fingers with their own and tugging them out the door. Julie and Flynn follow them, shaking their heads and laughing as they watch all three of them try and walk down the narrow staircase side by side. ��

«»

“I’m dying.” Reggie gasps out, dramatically flinging themself over a rock.

“We’re almost there, it’s just a few more minutes.” Julie reassures them, the rest of the group taking the opportunity to stop and rest. All of them had woken up at five am to hike a mountain and watch the sun rise. The trail was about two miles, and this was the third time Reggie had announced that they were dying, although this one was more dramatic than the others.

“You’ve been saying that for the last 20 minutes!”

“Well this time I mean it.”

“Luke.” Reggie whines, drawing out the name as they shift their gaze to Luke, who is pouring some of his water over his head.

“No.”

“Babe! Please, I’m dying here.”

Luke sighs and rolls his eyes before crouching down, not being able to resist Reggie’s puppy dog eyes, “Hop on.”

Reggie cheers, jumping up onto his back, “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“I think you should remind me.” Luke grins, tilting his head back towards Reggie.

“Maybe I will.” They laugh, leaning forward and press their lips against Luke’s, smiling into the kiss.

“Hey!” Alex calls after them, “I’d like to be reminded too.”

“You were going to let me die, you don’t get any kisses.” Reggie looks back over their shoulder, sticking their tongue out at him.

“Well I’m the one carrying the food so maybe you should reconsider.”

“Are you bribing me?”

“I don’t know, is it working?” Alex asks.

“Yes. Yes, it is.” Reggie slaps at Luke’s shoulder, telling him to let them down.

Julie and Flynn make their way around them, wanting to make it to the top of the mountain in time.

Reggie skips down to Alex and wraps their arms around Alex’s neck, pulling him down to kiss them.

“So, can I have a snack now?”

«»

“Guys,” Flynn looks at the scene before her in exasperation, “I was gone for literally five minutes.”

“We know, help now scold later.” Reggie shifts, trying to yank his foot out for underneath Julie

“How did you even manage this?”

“We couldn’t decide which one of us got to sit in the cart and we thought we could all fit.” Julie peaks her head out from behind Luke. She blows a piece of hair out of her face so she can see, only for it to fall right back.

“You too, Alex?” Flynn asks.

Alex shrugs, looking guilty, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“You’re apart of a human pretzel!”

“We won’t do it again, just get us out. I have to pee, and Luke is crushing my bladder.”

“Hey! at least you don’t have Reggie’s knees in your back,” Luke argues, “and I’m not even that- wait, Flynn are you taking pictures?”

“Oh yeah, definitely” She nods.

«»

“That’s the fourth store we’ve gotten kicked out of this week.” Flynn complains, glaring at the grocery store.

“That’s not too bad.”

“Luke, It’s Wednesday.”

«»

They sit on a pier in silence, feet dangling off the edge as they lean with their upper bodies over the bottom railing. The sun is setting, gradually receding into the waters below. The sky is more purple than red now, further indicating that their night is coming to an end.

It had been a few hours since they made their way away from the carnival that was bustling with activity to somewhere quieter. Further away from the bright lights and loud music, the yells excitement and overwhelming noise of big crowds of people all talking and closer to the sounds of waves crashing against shore and seagulls squawking.

Julie picks at her cotton candy, ripping a piece off and hands it to Alex, who accidently dropped his into the ocean below them.

“Maybe we don’t go back.” Again, It’s Luke who says it. He sounds more confident this time.

“Are parents would kill us,” Alex says. He looks down awkwardly when Luke looks at him pointedly.

“Okay, Ray would kill us.”

“Hey! Ray’s cool, he would never.” Reggie objects.

“We can’t just not go back, right?” Alex looks around at each of them, “Could we?”

Flynn shrugs, “I hear Maine is really pretty in the Fall.”

«»

Ray is cool and he does not kill them. His exact response is “I get it, I’ll miss you! Stay safe and be careful. Send post cards. And because I’m being so cool about it, you get to be the one to tell your tía.”

#car full of moments untold #luke x reggie x alex #julie x flynn #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #julie molina #flynn jatp #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #julie and the phantoms fic #userdhylen #naomi's content

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wingedflight · 4 years ago

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First Lines

tagged by @athoughtfox and @rthstewart

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

From most to least recent, and keeping the original formatting:

1. oh blue, if only you knew (Among Us)

It’s night shift on the Skeld but no one is sleeping.

2. Against All the Powers Ranged (Narnia)

“I don’t understand,” Susan said after Edmund first explained his intentions. “What would be the point?”

3. a gift for an old friend (Narnia)

Twas the night before Christmas and up on the roof Sat an elderly woman looking for proof She’d been waiting quite patiently, bow on her knee: A gift for the old friend she needed to see.

4. Strange Happenings At the Deacon Brothers’ Bar (12 Monkeys)

The Deacon Brothers’ Bar isn’t busy when the crazy old lady shows up.

5. to perish in fire and water (Narnia)

In the darkest copse of a near-dead forest, a witch slides a stone knife across her palm.

6. if one could drive forever (Supernatural/Narnia)

For a long time, there was nothing.

7. White Lilies (Narnia)

White lilies and bright sunlight and the sweetest water she’s ever tasted and, beneath it all, an insatiable longing…

8. Tidings From Beaversdam (Narnia)

The missive arrived mid-afternoon by way of courier pigeon all the way from Beaversdam.

9. The Hidden Sword (Narnia)

“We should probably bury it all,” said Eustace, looking down on the little pile of Narnian weaponry that had been temporarily stashed in the bushes behind the gym.

10. Roll For Initiative (Narnia)

The lights are low, the air thick with anticipation.

11. The Lion In The Outback (Narnia)

Come my soldiers, my witches, my kin.

12. Scrapbook (Umbrella Academy)

Article clipped from the Toronto Star, written by reporter Edward Hughs:

FATHER OF MODERN EXPLORATION FACES BRAVE NEW WORLD Reginald Hargreeves becomes Father of Seven in One Fell Swoop

13. by the blood of the stars (Narnia)

There are travellers on the Ettinsmoor.

14. The Great Star Heist (Artemis Fowl)

Excerpt from LEP Human Case File 3012: The Great Star Heist:

No one has ever claimed responsibility for the Great Star Heist. Not officially, at any rate.

15. Cheers, Girlfriend (The Good Place/Killjoys)

D { I SELECT rac.Lucy, void.Janet N FROM RAC.Vessel AS rac G JOIN Void.GoodJanet AS void ! ON (rac.AIEntityID = void.AIEntityID); ! }

16. seeking horizons (Narnia)

First: A flash of swords, a cry of command, legends turned to flesh.

17. Golden Lights and Perfect Games (Narnia)

Well, I'm right pleased to be meeting you, Jill.

18. The Splendour of the Stars (Narnia)

The sun was hot for Archenland, or so the nobles of King Lune’s court repeatedly claimed.

19. Flashstream (Spider-Man)

💥Flash💥 @theonlyflasht

Hey flash fans, tune in at 4pm ET for my next livestream. You’ve heard rumours but today I tell all: I MET #SPIDERMAN’S BUTLER.

20. Regarding the Likelihood of Dodging Certain Death (Artemis Fowl/Umbrella Academy)

Excerpt from Research Notes obtained from the Fowl servers, dated five months prior to the Kidnapping of Captain Short:

There are an astonishing amount of stories, myths, fairy tales, etc. involving the irregular passage of time.

IN CONCLUSION:

Turns out that 9 out of 20 first lines are short excerpts, flashbacks, dreams, or poetry before I dive into the actual real first scene of the piece. This is an insight I now have that I’m not very sure what to do with. Probably write more fics starting in exactly that same kind of way.

Tagging @syrena-of-the-lake @alexseanchai @klaineharmony @thatgirlnevershutsup @bywayofmemory @owl-song @larmalot

#narnia #chronicles of narnia #narnia fic #among us #12 monkeys #supernatural #spn #umbrella academy #tua #the good place #killjoys #spider-man #artemis fowl #my writing #Fic #fanfiction #mine #tag meme

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years ago

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Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 14

A/N - OMG its been a while.... again!! Im so sorry i promise i’ll try to update quicker. 💕💕

Having no work meant i had no reason to wake up early....i slept in until 10am then went downstairs to grab some cereal and a cup of tea which i took out into the backyard being as it was a nice day out.

Andy had text me just before 9am saying good morning, so i quickly shot a message back to him. I checked my emails and quickly scrolled through the news before deciding to go shower and start my day of doing absolutely nothing!

The day had been dragging so bad, i had already cleaned the house top to bottom and done the washing etc and it was barely lunchtime! I never thought id say this but i missed work.

It was nearing 10pm when i heard my front door being unlocked, i had a sudden rush of fear until i remembered i gave Andy my spare key.

"Hey" he said quietly as he dumped his coat on the arm chair. I looked up from where i was laying on the sofa watching some cooking show.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Tired" he scoffed before climbing onto the sofa squeezing in behind me so he could hold me close.

"How'd your meeting go with Joanna?" I asked stroking my fingers up and down his arm.

"Erghh" he moaned as he buried his face in my neck.

"That good huh?"

"Jake told us Ben had been bullying him, thats why he didn't tell anyone when he found his body. He thought he'd get the blame.... then Laurie brought up the stuff about my dad....Jacobs now pissed at me for lying to him"

"He'll get over it, he's probably just lashing out...."

"Maybe" Andy nodded "then i went to talk to Duffy, i needed to know if they were still looking into Patz.... i asked her if she could get me a copy of his file"

"She gonna help?"

"I dont think so. I thought we were friends you know? But turns out she didnt agree with me" he said sadly.

"Really? I thought you guys we're friends"

"Apparently we're just work colleagues"

"Im sorry you've had a crappy day" i turned to press a kiss to his lips and he smiled down at me.

"Its getting better now"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"You eaten? I could make you something..."

"Not since lunch, but i'm good i just want to hold you" he mumbled with his head buried in my neck, a loud rumble from his stomach made us both laugh.

"Okay so maybe i'm a little hungry"

"I'll go make us something" i chuckled as i slipped from his arms and headed to the kitchen.

"You're the best, i love you" he called out making me turn to him with a smile.

"I love you too".

Over the next few weeks Andy and Laurie tried to make Jacobs home life as normal as possible. They hired him a tutor, his 2nd grade teacher who had now retired....It had kept Jacob occupied.

When he wasn't working on school work he would be in his room playing computer games.

I had been spending a lot of time at the Barber house after Andy told me he felt better with me around, i also became good friends with Laurie. We'd often make lunch and evening meals together before Andy would drive me home. He would sometime stays the night if he didnt have to be anywhere early, It was nice just to have some alone time with him.

Laurie had decided to go back to work today so i had offered to help Andy get dinner ready. We were nearly finished with everything when Andy noticed the time.

"Laurie's usually home by now, i hope her day went okay" Andy said quietly as he wiped off his hands.

"Maybe she just had a lot to catch up on, she's been away for a while"

"Yeah maybe, i'm just gonna go check on Jake. You okay here for a few minutes?"

"Im fine, go" i chuckled shaking my head. Andy pressed a quick kiss to my lips and headed upstairs to check on Jacob. After a few minutes i heard Andy come back downstairs and head out to the front porch, Jacob came into the kitchen giving me a quick smile.

"My dad said to help set the table"

"Thats great, this is nearly ready" i smiled at him, Jacob had been a bit quiet around me when we first met but he was more comfortable around me now.

"You okay?" I asked noticing that he seemed a little moody.

"Yeah, its just my dad...."

"Oh no, what did he do?"

"Got pissed at me for playing video games online"

"He's just looking out for you Jake, he knows how all this works. What they look into, the things that can go against you. I know you probably think he's being over the top but he just wants to protect you"

"I know, it just sucks" he said sadly.

While Jacob set the table Laurie came rushing in.

"Hey mom" Jacob greeted her with a smile.

"I'll be right there" she replied before rushing upstairs. Jacob shrugged and continued to set out plates.

When Andy didn't come back inside i went looking for him, Laurie had come back downstairs looking like she had been crying... what was going on?

As i walked outback to the yard i saw Andy standing in front of the garage door.

"MURDERER ROT IN HELL" had been spray painted in huge black letters.

"Oh my god...." i gasped holding a hand over my mouth, no wonder Laurie had been upset "Jesus christ Andy....."

"Im so sick of this shit" Andy mumbled under his breath as he tried to scrub off the hateful words.

"Have you got another brush, i'll help"

"You don't have to....."

"I want to" i smiled up at him, Andy pressed a quick kiss to my lips and then went to find an extra brush. We scrubbed for what seemed like hours and we still couldn't get it off, the letters faded to a dull grey but you could still see what it said.... at least it wasn't as visible to anyone passing by on the street now though.

I reheated some dinner for me and Andy and we sat down to eat together, Jake had gone up to his room like usual and Laurie had gone up to bed to read (i think she just wanted to be alone).

"Laurie seemed like she was struggling with everything today" i said quietly to Andy taking a mouthful of my beer, he nodded slowly picking up his own beer.

"Yeah, she was told not to go back to work..... they can't risk being associated with her"

"Thats rough, that would have been a great distraction for her for a few hours"

"It would have been good for her but i get why they done it. This whole thing with Jacob hasn't just ruined his life....."

"I know" i reached over taking Andy's hand "but you're handling it great"

Andy scoffed looking at me with a smirk.

"Im a mess....."

"You're not a mess, you're strong for Laurie and Jake, you support them through all this bad shit"

"Then i fall apart when i'm with you" he scoffed.

"But thats okay, they don't need to know that and i don't mind..... i'm here for you"

"I love you"

"I love you too" i smiled before taking a another mouthful of my beer "so, what was in the file...." i pointed my bottle towards a file Andy had placed on the table.

"Duffy came through on that Patz file" he cracked a smile.

"She did?..... huh maybe you guys are friends after all".

"Maybe".

The following day Andy and Laurie were meeting with a specialist in genetic inheritance and behaviour to discuss Jacob, Joanna had suggested it was a good idea just incase they tried to use everything with Andy's father against Jake. While they were gone i stayed with Jacob at the house while his tutor came by. I was sat on the sofa watching a rerun of Friends to pass the time when my phone vibrated in my pocket. When i looked at who was calling i was surprised to see who it was.... Frank.

"Hello?" I answered quietly so i didn't disturb Jacobs lesson.

"Hey beautiful, how are you?"

"Im good... how are you?" I hated how his voice still gave me butterflies!!

"Not too great, i miss you"

"Frank....."

"I know, i know. You're with Andy now.... i... i missed my chance...."

"Frank are you wasted?" I asked catching the sound of his slurring.

"No baby of course not"

I sighed shaking my head, if he hadn't been drinking that must mean he was high.

"Look i cant talk right now...."

"Can i call you later?"

"Im not sure thats such a good idea"

"Please? i just wanna talk"

"Fine, i wont be home til after 9pm...."

"Thats fine i'll call you then"

"Okay, bye Frank" i quickly ended the call tucking my phone in my pocket, that phone call should be interesting.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @ms-betsy-fangirl

#sebastian stan #chris evans #bucky barnes #sebastianstan #captain america #steve rogers #sebstan #defending jacob #endings beginnings #eb!frank #andy barber #andy barber x reader #eb!frank x reader #reader insert #rose coloured glasses

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charlesandmartine · 2 years ago

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Tuesday 7th March 2023

Our apartment could hardly be described as roughing it. The Motels can only be regarded as adequate in most cases and we only used them in the Outback when no Airbnb solution was available. This place is total luxury with the covered area containing the BBQ (with sink), bar style seating, sofas, Netflix and hot tub allow the perceived outdoor Aussie lifestyle become an absolute reality and is extremely desirable. Martine is most pleased because she once more has a cafetiere. I think I want to live here. Thing is, if you go past our superbly appointed apartment around a corner of the outside space, there is what one might describe as a well appointed shed. Perhaps that was where we were supposed to be? The first thing on the agenda was to go down to the station to check arrangements for the train journey on Thursday on the tilt train to Brisbane. We popped into the station at about 5 o'clock yesterday and it was completely deserted and locked apart from a couple of girls who appeared to be living in the waiting room. Well at least the bedrolls were laid out. Perhaps they were Matilda's?

After so much travelling we thought a quiet day was required and the best place to find a quiet day is on a deserted beach. We asked our host, Deborah, where we would find such a place. Well she said you don't need to be in woop woop! Yes they do actually say this! Aussie for middle of nowhere! Anyway on her advice we pointed the Nissan towards Yeppoon. Well that is after we had another go at the station. The staff were all there this morning and we made arrangements to dump our cases there tomorrow evening. I think the itinerant girls had moved out of the waiting room. Yeppoon was 35 mins drive away but we were soon to be getting our first glimpse of the Pacific again after what seems ages. We were heading for Cooee Bay, Wreck Point Lookout, and Lammermoor Beach. James Cook had called here in 1770, but it was in 1802 that the famous Navigator and Cartographer Matthew Flinders arrived as part of his renowned circumnavigation of Australia mapping the country for the first time. Some of his maps are still in use today apparently. Aussies love Flinders and his cat Trim. There are monuments, roads, stations, statues to his and Trim's memory all over. He returned to England and soon after died aged 40 in 1814. Big hero, gone. Not only that but he was buried in St James cemetery near to Euston station but even in 1852 the exact location was lost. Some people were convinced he was buried under platform 4. However when clearing the old cemetery for HS2, they found him! He was one of 40,000 graves cleared. I heard he is likely to be reburied with his father in Lincoln. Wreck Point recognised the loss of the good ship Salina in 1848. She was due into Sydney in July 1847 but she failed to arrive. Instead she washed up at Wreck Point 15 months later with no explanation. Well life is full of mysteries. We had no hope of solving this so we moved on to Lammermoor Beach for the quiet time. And quiet it was too. We had the beach to ourselves. We discovered approaching the beach there was a local outlaw, the Tilapia fish. Report all cases, it is an offence to have one dead or alive! Well we tried to be helpful; looked everywhere for it but couldn't find him. Luncheon came and went, the sun baked down in a cloudless sky moving what little shade there was but still 33 degrees. The beach started to fill as the kids came out of school so we moved on to Emu Park. Now we could do with seeing a few more Emus but it turns out Emu Park is a small township with no Emus apart from an artist's depiction of some but with fantastic views of the Keppel Islands nonetheless. Disappointed, but a couple of Magnums did the trick and we repaired to Woolworths and Liquorland for some beers and other items for another BBQ.

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thoschei-rights · 5 years ago

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Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later??

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears??

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing??

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ???

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

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to-read-or-not-to-read3088 · 4 years ago

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70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

📷

Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

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At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

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Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

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Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

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Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

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Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

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This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

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What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

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Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

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Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

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Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

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Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

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For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

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Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

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Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

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For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

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