#i need to remember how to interview normally i think

[foragings]

i know that the quarter life crisis is like a well-attested phenomenon but i can’t help but still feel like i’m the only 21yo who is reckoning with what to do with their life

[sugarlywhispers]

b.katsuki x reader (fem) | quirkless!reader, prohero!dynamight

a.n; I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA OKAY? I HAVE HAD IT IN MY DRAFTS FOR LIKE A YEAR ALREADY AND I NEED YA'LL TO RANT WITH ME ABOUT THISSSS<3 it's mostly enemies to lovers💕

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

"For the love of–... I'M COMING!"

It's Sunday morning. You have been expecting this day to wake up maybe mid-morning, with the gentle warm breeze coming from your open window; have an exquisite brunch that you have been planning and craving since Friday; maybe watch an episode or two of your favorite show before preparing a full spa day, with a long and refreshing bath included. That's how you have planned your Sunday to go.

But no… Apparently, someone's intention was to ruin the whole day for you while their knocks on your door were persistent and annoying at 6 freaking a.m.

You don't think about what you're wearing before stumbling towards the door, with the loud BANGS still sounding. You think of your poor neighbors next door and their newborn baby.

"This little shit," you protest, completely annoyed with this person knocking on your door like someone has died. "Someone better be dead or else…" You open the door in one strong pull and huff utterly annoyed when you encounter the person behind.

Vermillion eyes collide with yours, the intense hate and annoyance so palpable in the air it almost cuts you both.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He tchs, rolling his eyes at you. The bile travels up through your esophagus, and you want to spit at him.

"Save the greetings, if you know what a decent greeting means… Well, considering how well you just did it, I doubt you fuckin’ know…"

The muscle at your temple twitches so hard, you believe he is actually able to see it. That would explain his upcoming smirk.

"The fuck do you want?" You repeat, not even caring or taking the time to follow this banter with him. You would normally do it, come back at him with a snarky response that would probably hurt his ego and he would answer back making you even angrier, and yada yada, nothing new to this ‘hate x hate’ relationship you had with this man in front of you. But today is not a day you planned on dealing with Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki.

He looks down at his hands, his fingers fidgeting a bit with the buttons on his all-black suit jacket you just now noticed he is wearing. Interesting; he never uses formal suits like this one if it isn't for a Hero Gala, and that was only once a year. Or that one time you remember he had to apologize to citizens through a TV interview with Deku because of a villain attack in Hokkaido they couldn't quite contain on time and caused a lot of material damage. You shake your head coming back to the present. Pro Hero Dynamight, a.k.a. Bakugou-annoying ass-Katsuki is standing right at your door, looking a bit nervous while playing with the buttons of his jacket, furrowing his eyebrows like he is angry even at the air he breathes.

You could have expected anything from this unpredictable man who infuriated you almost twenty-four hours a day, the seven days of the whole week. However, you were not expecting at all the words that come from his mouth after he looks up again and his eyes lock with yours.

"Fucking marry me."

Your eyes open wide. And the only thing you think of doing is punching him. And you do.

Your hands close in tight fists, and before saying anything, you punch his shoulder as strongly as you can with one. You know for sure your small and useless fist won't do any damage to this hulk of a man, but the meaning behind it it's what matters.

He simply looks at you in disbelief. "Ouch?" He smirks. He fucking smirks at you, and this time you punch his stomach, which does make him grunt and hover a bit in pain.

You attempt to close the door right at his face, but he suddenly pushes it with his hand and makes you waver a bit back, holding yourself on the door handle. He stands straight again, retrieving his hand from the door when he realizes he used more force than intended to prevent you from closing the door.

"I- umm- Shit, sorry, I didn't-..." 

You raise a hand to stop him from talking.

"Just fucking tell me what you want, so I can go back to bed and not see your ugly face for the rest of my day."

You watch in satisfaction how his face contours into full rage. And this time you smirk. 

"I fucking hate you…" He spits, and you bat your lashes at him while smiling.

"Ah, the feeling is mutual, baby."

Bakugou takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and holding himself on the door frame with strength. You're sure his hand shape will print on it, and you get more annoyed –if that's possible, but you have already learned that when Bakugou was involved, the anger was immeasurable– thinking that you will have to hire someone to fix that.

"I fucking hate you," he repeats through his teeth with his eyes still closed, but then he opens them, and his entire face changes into something you never expected to see. He looks at you, begging, "But I need you to marry me."

You look… perplexed. Again, never in your life have you ever come across the thought that those words would ever come from the man in front of you, much less towards you.

You open your mouth to say something, but the neighbor from the apartment in front of yours opens his door, standing there with his arms crossed and looking menacingly.

"Everything okay, Y/N?" His deep baritone voice asks. Bakugou turns his head and when he sees him, stands straight, head held high and you can imagine the type of defying expression on his face.

You roll your eyes. Men.

"Yes, Arisu, everything is fine. He's… a… friend," the word stung your tongue because you couldn't consider Bakugou that, even though you shared the same group of friends. But it wouldn't have been good having these two fight over something you still didn't understand what was happening; the thought of who of these two hulk men would win still was entertaining to think about. Your money was on Arisu, of course.

"Alrigh’," Arisu says, looking at Bakugou up and down before retrieving himself back into his apartment.

"The fuck this fucking extra-..." You stop Bakugou from turning and going towards Arisu by holding his arm and pulling him towards you.

"Stop it. Come inside," you demand, pulling him as he watches your hand around his bicep, "before any of my neighbors file a complaint against me thanks to your fucking loud mouth."

Bakugou grunts at your words as he lets you pull him inside. When you close the door and turn to him, you realize how big he looks in your small apartment, where there is barely space between the living room and the kitchen and two doors, one leads to your bedroom and the other to the bathroom. You want to laugh at how uncomfortable he looks.

You take a deep breath, scratching your forehead to regain a bit of patience –which was non-existent whenever Bakugou was around.

"Okay, now, explain to me what the hell is wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me. More like what's wrong with you and this small thing you call apartment… When did you-..."

"Bakugou! I didn't invite you in for you to start insulting my living space!" You say more exasperated by every second he is in there. "Tell me what the hell happened to you! Why did you come here, almost tearing down the door of my place at 6 in the fucking morning, annoying even my neighbors, and then you fucking propose out of nowhere!"

His lips are held in a tight line as he watches you almost yell at him, hands opening and closing anxiously. There is silence for a couple of minutes before he says, "My father died."

You gasp, taking a step back. Wow. That's something you were not expecting at all. You get now why the black suit. And now that you look at him better, his eyes look glassy and reddish –probably thanks to how much he's holding himself back from showing any other emotion that isn't anger. And that's… sad.

Your arms immediately hug yourself, one hand settling over your chest. "I- I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," he turns a bit to the left, facing the kitchen to avoid looking at you. "Fucker was a right pain in the ass."

You choke on the laugh that almost escapes you at his words, and after you clear your throat you murmur, "Sorry." He looks at you a bit amused, the right corner of his mouth lifted a bit at your reaction.

You sigh again after a few seconds of silence, "Bakugou, what does that have to do with you asking me to-...”

"My great-grandparents are-were the funders and CEOs of TCA Technologies Corp.," your eyes open wide at the name of the prestigious company that had been ground-breaking in the creation and use of robots, before being the number one seller of technology materials to support heroes. They were high class in society, civilians and heroes. "Yeah, that's the face every extra makes," he smirks when you stick your tongue out at him.

He then looks at you up and down and immediately looks away, clearing his throat in a clear gesture of shyness. You frown confused.

"Fucking go put some clothes on."

That's when you remember you had no pants, no bra, and an old shirt that barely covered your panties. Fuck. You almost run towards your room to get changed. All of this had to be a dream… or a nightmare.

Your Sunday was entirely ruined. You know that for sure.

After you change to decent, more covered clothing, leggings and a big shirt that almost reached your knees –it is Sunday, dammit, and the hell you are gonna dress up for Bakugou Katsuki– you walk again towards the living room where you left said asshole waiting for you there. He is now sitting on your couch, his suit jacket lying over the back of it. His elbows are resting over his knees, his hands holding his head. You have never encountered a tired Bakugou, yet here he is. Looking beaten and down.

He looks up at you when he hears you approach him; his eyes are more reddish than before, kind of like when you want to cry but don't let yourself do it. That made you feel bad for thinking about him as an asshole.

"What took you so long, short-legs? Whatever you wear, you'll still stink and look ugly on it."

Nope. He is and will always be a stupid asshole.

You roll your eyes grunting as you let yourself fall on the couch, as far away from him as you can on that three-people couch, crossing your legs under you.

"Spit it out, asshole. What's all this about?"

He sighs, "My father inherited it all after my grandfather died. His whole life had been that stupid company, his and my mother's. I don't give a fuck about it, but the old hack insists that I- ow!"

You pinch him on the shoulder this time, knowing very well that if you had punched him he wouldn't have felt anything. But pinching… he did feel that.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"Don't call your mom like that, idiot!"

"Fucking piss off, you know shit! The old hack is an old hack, she deserves the title."

You shake your head in disagreement but decide to leave that topic there considering how affected he looks by it.

"The old hack said," he simply repeats that to spite you, and you really want to punch him, "that I need to step up and be fucking CEO of that bullshit, or…"

He looks at you, and you gulp, kind of understanding where this is going.

"Or get married." You finish the sentence, crossing your arms over your chest, "But why? Those two options are completely different from one another."

"The sky will fucking fall the day I understand any-fucking-thing that comes out of her mouth. She's nuts!" He protests, arms exaggerating his words as he opens them wide, evidently showing how much stress he has, before laying back on the couch, head resting over the back of it where his jacket is. He sighs long and deeply before talking again, "My great-grandmother had a strong Quirk, but she decided to stay at home instead of being a Hero. Those were other times, ya'know?"

"I know History of Heroes, Bakugou. I'm not stupid."

He looks at you again, this time genuinely surprised, "I, umm, thought you-..."

"Have you ever thought that despite not having a Quirk, I know about heroes?"

He tchs, "No wonder why you and shitty Deku are such shitty nerds."

You roll your eyes for the eleventh time that morning, "Get to the point, shitty asshole."

Bakugou scoffs, clearly holding back a retort to answer back, then he continues, "I'm the first in generations with a strong, hero-level Quirk. Most of my family had decided to live as civilians, building this stupid company from generation to generation."

"Oh, and you are the first actual Hero in the family. You are the first one to choose differently…"

He nods in response, "It almost gave my grandfather a heart attack. Ever since my Quirk woke up, I knew what I wanted," he looks back at you, and for the first time, you admit to yourself that you're curious of knowing what he wants, what goes through his head, so you nod allowing him to continue, "I want to be a Number One Hero. I want to kick villains' asses as much and as hard as I can for as long as my stupid aging bones allow me to."

The intensity in his eyes and conviction in every word he spoke made you feel his passion. And that was… new.

"But to be that, I can't afford to waste time in falling in love and all that bullshit…"

"Then say no to your mom and the company," you offer as a solution. He snorts letting his head fall back against the couch.

"You know shit…" He shakes his head, "There's a requirement in every hero company, it says that a familiar, or a spouse if the hero is married, has to validate your mental sanity alongside a doctor to keep working as a Hero."

"I… didn't know that."

"Of course not, short-legs. You're not a hero, why would you know?"

"So, if I… If we get married-..." he nods in confirmation even before you say the words. But he says them.

"The old hag won't have to validate my status as Hero anymore, and she won't have anything to hold me back from sending her and the company to hell."

You looked serious at him, "Bakugou, you and I don't like each other. You hate me and I hate you. And you want to put your Hero status in my hands by marrying me?" You say in disbelief, almost anxious about the whole meaning of this. You stand up and walk from one side to the other as you keep talking, "Why? Because your inner kid is in rebellious tantrum mode and does not want to take the responsibility to-..."

"Shut the fuck up! You. Know. Shit!" He also stood up, shortening the distance between you two in the small living room.

"Then tell me! Explain it to me! Cause to me you only sound like a spoiled brat who doesn't want his veggies for lunch."

He looks you right in the eye, hands almost trembling in fists beside his body, and then he drops the bomb.

"My mother killed my grandfather."

You recoil a step back, "What?"

He sighs, hands and fingers running through his hair, clearly uncomfortable, "I-... There is no proof, no solid proof about it. I just- I know it was her." Again, the conviction in his eyes made you believe him. "My mother wanted the money, the luxury life being with my dad could bring her. But my dad had a brother, an older brother."

"Had?"

Bakugou simply shakes his head, "The idiot got himself in between a shooting from two villain groups. He was shot only once, and it killed him. A fucking looser…" 

You try, you really tried not to smile but failed miserably. "You are the idiot," you say fighting back the chuckle.

He smiles back, "No, I got shot several times, I even got thrown at and through walls, and I'm very much fucking alive. I'm no weak ass looser as him."

You can't stop laughing, Bakugou definitely is an idiot.

He waits until you're done laughing before continuing, "Even then, my grandfather didn't think my dad was capable of handling the company and all it meant, so he was thinking about giving it to one of his nephews. That's when, I fuckin’ know, my mother took matters into her own hands. I'm an only child. If I say no…"

"The company has to go to another familiar..." Everything washes clear now in your head, “And your mom won't allow that to happen. So she’ll lie and say you aren’t sane enough to keep working as a hero,” Bakugou keeps nodding, confirming everything you’re saying.

“That way, I’m obligated to work at the company.”

Your hand travels from your forehead and brushes your hair back. “She wouldn’t that… She’s your mom, Bakugou...”

“Haven’t you heard a fucking thing I said? She fucking killed my grandfather so the company was legally inherited by my father! Therefore, she could hold all the rights, all the stupid money! My father was a fucking dimwit who believed every-fucking-thing my mother said. She controlled him as she pleased.”

You gasp as another realization hits you, “That’s why you are an asshole to her…”

“She can fool anyone, but not me.” He declares, standing tall and proud. “I have never played her game, and I fuckin’ never will.”

You hug yourself once more, taking some minutes to assimilate all the confessions he just dropped on you. Everything feels like a script of a freaking movie or something. And there are too many questions you want to ask. But there’s only one thing you mostly don’t understand and you need the answer to.

So you look back at him, head tilting up a bit due to the height difference between you, and ask, “Why me?”

Bakugou does not hesitate in his answer. 

“You’re strong, despite not having a Quirk. And smart. You don’t let anyone dictate what you can or cannot do,” he takes a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours, “You have never backed down from a discussion, with me or anyone else. You don’t let anybody step on you, holding tight to your convictions and beliefs.”

You visibly gulp, feeling a little warmth in your cheeks that makes you want to look elsewhere, but you don't. You hold the connection between your eyes like dear life. And he smiles, the left corner of his mouth raising a bit.

“You have a fuckin’ strong character, you won't even shy down from me,” you suddenly feel the back of his index finger caress the right side of your jaw, where lays an old scar he perfectly recognized.

It was the scar he accidentally left when you were younger, stupider. He had picked a fight with another newbie hero –another asshole in your opinion– who kept talking shit about his other newbie hero friends. Bakugou had snapped when the guy mocked the word “whore” towards you. You have tried to separate them, earning yourself a punch on the right side of your face by this same man that has touched the reminder of that old memory.

“But above all that…” It’s his turn to gulp, eyes going up and down through your face. Is he… Is he looking at your lips? “You are kind. You care about everyone. You always try to solve everything for everyone –that’s fuckin’ annoying actually.”

You open your mouth to swear at him, stupid asshole; but he doesn’t give you time to say anything. “What I’m trying to fuckin’ say is–” he takes a deep breath, “You are… good. A good person. And you… You understand m- us.”

Was he going to say ‘me’? By ‘us’, you know he means heroes.

Your parents had been heroes before they died. Unfortunately, you were born Quirkless, so the dream of following your parents' path was decided the same day you were welcomed into this world. You have already made peace with this idea, it didn’t hurt like it used to when you were young. Despite not having a Quirk, you specialized in Quirk and training analysis, which granted you a job that most Hero Agencies wanted you for. Hence also how now your group of friends involved all heroes.

However, one thing is working with them, working with Bakugou Katsuki, a.k.a. Pro Hero Dynamight, who was the biggest pain in your ass you have ever had since the day you met him. Another completely different is actually marrying the pain in your ass.

You sigh, “I don’t–...”

“What? You want me to fuckin’ beg? ‘Cause I fuckin’ will…” Bakugou takes a step back and literally kneels before you. You protest, grabbing his forearm and pulling him back up, but he doesn’t let you move him even a millimeter. “What do you want? Whatever you want is yours. We can even sign a dam contract if you so want, I don’t fuckin’ care what it is. Whatever you want, it’s yours.”

“This is not a fucking joke, Bakugou. You are asking me to marry you. What if I have a boyfriend? You didn’t even fucking ask!”

His eyes open wide, surprised. “Do you?”

You roll your eyes, releasing an exasperated sigh. “No! I don’t!”

“Then, what are you bitching about?”

You groan. “I’m bitching about the fact that I don’t know why would you put a whole big deal on me when we hate each other!”

“I trust you.”

It’s a short answer, his expression is even so neutral and sure that leaves you perplexed. Surprised at how easily he said those words.

“We don’t like each other…”

“I don’t need to like you to trust you, idiot.” It feels like he’s mocking you, but one look into his eyes and what he is saying actually feels right. He is completely sure of what he is saying. “I would even fuckin’ trust you with my life.”

He already does. Every day, at work.

Still, you can’t pass the opportunity to piss him off. “Wow. That’s deep, buddy.”

“Fuck you.”

Mission accomplished.

You laugh gently, looking at him still kneeling on the floor of your living room. The sight in itself is a miracle. A sight you won't get to see ever again from this man. But it’s not the image of his kneeling position that makes you take the decision.

It’s his eyes.

They are screaming, desperately begging for you to help him. And, damn it, he is right; you always are at the disposal of everyone when they need your help. Fuck! It is actually very annoying –but you will never admit that out loud, especially not to him.

You close your eyes, head tilting back, and take a long, deep breath.

You are so going to regret this.

“Fine, I’ll do it.”

Bakugou Katsuki immediately stands up and practically throws himself at you, his whole hulk of a body surrounding you in what you have never thought would ever happen between you two: a hug.

Are you though?

[astonmartinii]

other side of the moon - chapter five | formula one imagine

chapter five: enter stage left

pairing: fem retired formula one driver reader x ??? fem retired formula one driver reader x platonic!kimi antonelli

one big car launch with every driver in attendance - what can go wrong?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SERIES MASTERLIST

whatever bright spark decided that formula one needed one big, fancy car launch must want y/n dead. here she stood in one of the many green rooms in a black dress that’s a little too tight and an absolute pain to sit down in.

on one side of the room george sits in his dressing gown being doted on five different people while he talks down the phone in a tone too loud for the crowded room. kimi, on the other hand, sits on the couch on the other side, having waved off all of the people trying to smear yet another cream on his face.

“are you just going to be haunting me all season?” george said as he hung up the phone. glaring at y/n through the mirror.

“if i’m haunting you, does that mean you did something wrong?” y/n gasps, “am i the skeleton in your closet, georgie?”

the mercedes personnel in the green room were still, almost waiting for it to hit boiling point and all spill over. george and y/n stared each other down, waiting for someone to make the next move. george steadily looked y/n up and down, not being subtle at all. y/n raised her eyebrow at the brit.

“i could get used to you in my colours,” george said with a smirk.

“bore off russell, i don’t wear anything for you. these will be seen as kimi’s colours before you know it.”

a knock on the door signalled the start of the show. george stood up and took off his robe, revealing the new mercedes racesuit for the season. the brit made his way to the door but before he left, he turned to y/n and said, “don’t get too comfortable, i have my eye on you”

“oh georgie, you always have,” y/n flirted before schooling her face, “and how has that worked out for you?”

the brit pointed to his racesuit, “better than it has for you.”

that was a low blow, but y/n was prepared to play it that way if that was the game for the season. george looked at her again, as if to challenge her, but y/n stayed silent though her stare was unwavering. she had said a lot worse about herself to herself after the crash.

with that george turned and left, calling out to alex down the corridor.

“i really don’t understand him,” kimi said, “it was only like a week or two ago he was cussing you out in monaco, then today he checks you out but then threatens you like two seconds later?”

“first lesson of the year, kimi. do not trust a word that man says to you.”

the pair linked arms and made their way out of the green room. there was a gaggle of drivers at the end of the corridor, all decked out in their racesuits except the ferrari boys who were in normal suits. the group fell silent as they all turned to see the new arrivals.

“i didn’t know it was bring your mum to work day?” alex called out as they neared the group, smiling as he came to hug her.

a french-accented voice hollered a ‘milf’ from the back of the group, y/n suspected it was pierre, but paid no mind. an offended squeak followed as y/n looked up to see max delivering a slap to the back of his head.

“i’m just dropping him off, i gotta get to my seat before i’m roped into an interview. i had to sneak in this afternoon, i swear sky sports are like stalking me!”

the group watched along as y/n leaned in to whisper into kimi’s ear, “remember what i told you. smile, be likeable and tell jokes. these people are underestimating you, let them. we’ll do our real talking in the car. good luck and try and have some fun.”

the pair did their ‘handshake’, which really was just a pinky promise, and broke apart. y/n looks back at the group one more time, smiles at max and takes her leave. just a couple paces down the corridor, a voice called out her name.

“y/n, hey!” lewis called, catching up to her quickly, “i didn’t think i’d see you back here tonight.”

“i wasn’t planning on it, to be fair. kimi is technically an adult now, but i still didn’t want to leave him on his own here of all places.”

lewis laughed as the pair looked back at the group. kimi had nestled himself next to ollie, quietly talking to each other with esteban looking over both of them. y/n caught the gaze of esteban and the frenchman gave her a quick nod before inserting himself into the conversation. the height difference between kimi and esteban was comical, but y/n was happy knowing esteban would look out for him in places she couldn’t be.

“i didn’t think you would like the whole mentor role, being so young and everything, but you seem to be doing a good job.”

“thank you lewis, but honestly he makes it very easy,” y/n looked at the group again with a fond look on her face.

lewis brought his hand to her face and made her look at him, “i thought i’d never see that look on your face again.”

y/n looked down and blushed, shaking lewis’ hand off. “i am happy. a lot happier than i expected to be, anyway.”

“i’m happy that you’re happy. i’m happy you’re back, i won’t keep my distance this time, even if you’re in the home of the enemy now.”

y/n laughed, “well i thought it was bad going back to your ex, and look at me now. so maybe they’re not as much as an enemy as you think.”

an announcement from further down the corridor cute the conversation there, lewis tries not to look bothered, but y/n can still tell.

“looks like you’re needed elsewhere, superstar,” y/n said with a wink, “try not to let charles outshine you too much.”

“he wishes.”

y/n watched him walk away and was confused. lewis had never expressed interest in her before, platonic or romantic. even when she was a young rookie with stars in her eyes, she was never on his radar. was she now? the visit in london had been weird and the way his eyes had been fixed on her since she arrived today was even weirder.

y/n didn’t really have the time to be grappling with that struggle today, not with everything else going on. the audience seemed like enough distance between her and lando, but after monaco, there was no real knowing what could happen. george was just as confusing as his compatriot, with harsh words but also a glimmer of something else too.

she needed a glass of champagne pronto.

max watched the interaction between y/n and lewis like a hawk, so focused that he didn’t realise that he had formed quite an audience. nico hulkenberg, kimi, ollie and esteban watched him try and conceal his feelings, but his face showed every thought.

“you want to make it any more obvious that you’re jealous?” nico said, nudging max to break him out of his daze.

“i’m not jealous, i just wonder what they actually have to talk about…”

“you’re not jealous you say? you didn’t even glare at him this much during 2021.” esteban chimed in.

max furrowed his brows and forced himself to look away. he already felt guilty for harbouring these feelings for y/n and now he’s faced with a curious look from kimi, making him feel even worse. he did not want to make the same mistake as lando and george had in the past. he meant it when he said he just wanted to exist with her.

“kimi, how would you feel about having max as your dad?” ollie said, hiding slightly behind esteban.

“he’s very good with the cats?”

“thanks, that’s such a glowing recommendation, kimi, thanks!”

kimi held up his hands in surrender but max couldn’t be angry at the italian - plus he did take very good care of his cats and brando. in fact, he had nearly thrown his back out, much to red bull’s chagrin, building a new cat tower so brando could watch the birds from his preferred spot. the cat had settled in well in his place in monaco while y/n had been staying, the dutchman didn’t want to think too much about what it could mean, but it was on his mind.

“i just mean i caught you googling how to make sure your cat is getting enough vitamin d because you were worried about how cloudy it’s been in monaco?”

kimi tried to backpedal, but his anecdote was overheard by more drivers, bringing them into the conversation.

“are you being for real? vitamins are just pseudoscience dude,” pierre said but isack popped his head into the circle to say, “vitamins are real? and vitamin d deficiency is actually a really huge problem.”

“thank you isack!”

“as if i’m taking health advice from a rookie,” pierre laughed. yuki took his turn to pipe up next, “i saw you eat a whole jar of peanut butter in one sitting last winter break? what do you know about health?”

“why is it gang up on pierre hour? why aren’t we focusing on the real issue here? like how pathetic max is about y/n?”

max sputtered as even more drivers joined the conversation.

“i am not pathetic. brando is practically my son. kimi back me up, doesn’t he love me?”

“he does -” kimi started defending max before charles butted in with a: “calling for help from the other son? we see how it is verstappen.”

this was a losing battle. max just hoped it stayed this light hearted but he saw lando and george approaching the group.

“max is not my dad, but i wouldn’t mind. he drove all the way to nice to pick up my parcel because i didn’t understand monaco postal charges!”

poor kimi was trying to help, but he was just making it inadvertently worse.

“this is making your pseudoadoption last year look like child’s play, oscar,” alex said, earning him a whack from charles.

“kimi is not my son, but that doesn’t mean i won’t look out for him. this is a horrible place to come when you’re already disliked. some people, not naming names, have made it clear they have a problem with him and y/n, so it’s simply my moral duty to look out for him.”

the group quietened down, looking amongst each other.

“why am i so out of the loop, who is bullying this literal child?” nico said, pulling kimi into his chest, the italian letting out a squeak as the german petted him. “so? do tell.”

for two people who were very eager to call y/n and kimi every name under the sun just a week ago, they were very silent in that moment.

“oh! we’re talking about the lovely cocktail party i threw that was ruined by lando and george!” charles blurted out, he grabbed fernando’s hand, “it was so nice, i even brought olives, but they came in spouting all this shit about y/n and kimi and seduction and older women?”

both brits scratched the backs of their necks. the cocktail party drama was not a good move from them, especially so close to the start of the season.

“it wasn’t quite like that?” george hurried out.

“you accused y/n of trying to sleep with me?” oscar said.

“you said that i was going the max verstappen route of getting with an older ‘problematic’ woman?” kimi added from nico’s side.

“you also kinda implicated yourself in y/n’s crash?” alex heaped on for good measure.

“alex!?” george and lando shouted, “whose side are you meant to be on?”

“i’m not on a “side” because i’m not fucking five, but i will point out hypocrisy and stupidity and that’s both of you. come on, it’s 2025 and you guys are still stuck in like 2017.”

“right, i feel really stupid because what the fuck are you people talking about and why wasn’t i invited to this party?” fernando said, a confused look on his face.

“lando and george are still hung up on y/n years later even though she never actually expressed interest in them, max has the best odds on actually sealing the deal and i don’t know, kimi is getting shit because he brought her back and none of them can actually regulate their emotions!” charles said, exasperated, “keep up grandpa, you’ve been here the whole time!”

“i do not have the ‘best odds’ because y/n isn’t a horse, you don’t bet on women?” max bit back.

“actually i bet on women all the time,” yuki said but when he saw how the group were looking at him he added, “ufc, duh!”

even as they were herded towards the backstage, the group continued bickering like children.

“all i’m saying is that your crush is super obvious and you need to be careful! y/n will know and will use it against you, just look at what happened with me and george!” lando hissed at max.

the dutchman glared at the brit, this really had gone too far. “can you like actually give me an example of where she ‘led you on’ i am genuinely curious,” max snipped, “quickly.”

lando immediately looked at the floor and bit his lip. max began tapping his foot with an impatient look.

“well she would be super flirty with me in the videos the team would make us film?” lando didn’t sound convinced, and max didn’t buy a single second of it.

“if that’s what you think flirting is i feel sorry for all of your ex girlfriends, you must be a horrible boyfriend - ouch!” charles was cut off by a shove from george.

“stay out of this charles!”

“i won’t stay out of this, y/n is actually a friend of mine. yeah that’s right she doesn’t hate me because i don’t assume that any girl who is fractionally nice to me is in love with me.”

“lando you basically tortured that girl her entire formula one career, do you need to do it now as well?” max said, “i think this season will be a lot easier for you if you drop this now.”

“is that a threat?”

“it’s a promise.”

all the bickering surrounding the pair ceased, tension rising in the air. the call for the mclaren boys drew lando out of his stare down with max. the brit joined oscar at the front of the queue and painted on his PR smile.

y/n had found her way to her seat, flanked by natalie pinkham on one side and jenson button on the other. there goes her plans for a quiet evening.

“so the rumours are true,” jenson said before jumping up to give her a hug, “i’ve missed you, rocky”

y/n flushed at the nickname. since her first ever race in formula one, jenson had crowned her his ‘pocket rocket’ which had eventually been worn down to just rocky. she hadn’t heard it in so long, jenson’s appearances being relegated to messages via sara or flowers that only gave away his identity with the use of rocky.

“did sky set up this seating arrangement? are you going to ambush me for an interview?”

“i can’t believe you’d think so low of me,” jenson clutched at his imaginary pearls, “and as if you can say no to me anyway.”

the pair took their seats as the show started. natalie handed her a glass of champagne and whispered in her ear, “you might need this.” well that doesn’t bode well.

the two mclaren drivers made their way out onto stage, joined by zak and andrea. y/n leaned into jenson, “i don’t understand why he insists on being everywhere, have we not suffered enough?”

jenson tried to stifle his laugh, “are you sure you don’t want to work in commentary?”

“i think it’s best i keep my opinion on these men to myself.”

the mclaren spiel followed the closely the same scripts they used when y/n still raced for them, though a healthy dose of constructors champions boasting had been added. a second questionable decision from formula one reared it’s head when nico rosberg asked his first unscripted question:

“so boys, how do you feel about the return of former mclaren driver y/n y/ln to the paddock? excited to see her?”

y/n swore she could see lando’s eye twitch from her front row seat. there was an awkward pause and y/n could feel the rest of the audience tense. even though the general public didn’t know the ins and outs of the fall out, there was definitely rising suspicion.

nico found y/n in the audience and gave her such a shit-eating grin that she almost didn’t care about the situation he just put her in.

“we’re of course over the moon to see her back in the paddock. i know i’ve harboured a lot of guilt as to how i ended up with my seat, so i’m happy that y/n can see me in action and hopefully i can continue to make her proud!” oscar said with a genuine smile, the only convincing one from the men clad in orange.

“continue to?” nico asked, “have you had confirmation of this?”

y/n’s eyes snapped to oscar who despite receiving glares from his boss, continued on.

“we spoke at charles’ cocktail party. i’ve always been a fan of hers and it was great to finally set the record straight. she was a lot more graceful than i would’ve been in her position. to be honest i was a bit of a weepy mess, but she was very supportive. i’m only slightly jealous of kimi…”

“very nice. did you get any insight on her opinion on hungary?” nico pushed, only to be cut off by zak.

“if you so desperately want her opinion on everything, you can wait until you’re on sky’s dime. this is a car launch, no? we’re confident in our car for this season and intend on winning both championships. and do you know how we’re going to do that? with the two drivers on stage right now, not one who was a flash in the pan four years ago.”

you could hear a pin drop in the venue. even lando had a shocked look on his face as he and oscar exchanged a look.

“that’s fighting talk from the man who ended her career, but what do i know?” nico said sharply but then turned to the audience, “ladies and gentlemen, mclaren!”

there was tentative applause from crowd and when y/n and oscar made eye contact she gave him a small smile. this was only the first team…

nico looked for y/n in the front row and gave her a thumbs up to which she shook her head violently. jenson burst out laughing, “well, i don’t think we’ll be having this as the car launch format again.”

“i don’t know about you but i’m throughly entertained,” natalie said, “if nico was like that with mclaren, i can’t wait for ferrari!”

the next few teams were decidedly less dramatic. y/n could see kimi and george lining up next to come on stage and she hoped the italian remembered her advice.

george walked on stage with confident strides, followed by toto and finally kimi. the italian looked out at the audience, squinting from the harsh lights but calming his features when he saw y/n. she gave him a thumbs up and got a smile in return.

“you’re loving this mum role aren’t you?” jenson said.

“you’re making me feel old, stop. but yes i would kill myself if anything happened to him, so i guess so.”

back on stage, nico had started his interview. first toto was being grilled about the hopes for the season and how life at mercedes would be without lewis hamilton. the german was clearly trying to bait his former boss into giving him a juicy soundbite.

“kimi, let’s come to you now. you’re first season in formula one and you’ve already brought in the big guns? y/n y/ln as your mentor, that’s a big statement.”

kimi looked startled and his eyes snapped to meet y/n’s. she nodded to him, urging him to answer.

“why wouldn’t i want a legend of the sport like her as my mentor? she still knows what she’s doing, and if it ruffles some feathers in the paddock at the same time, what’s the harm?”

she was so proud of her protégé. jenson choked on his champagne at kimi’s answer, “kids got balls.”

“well, well, well. you’re not beating around the bush are you? but do tell me, kimi, what’s so special about you that y/n would come out of retirement?”

“i’ll save that answer for australia, nico,” kimi said, surprised by the laughs from the audience, “but maybe i’ve just got a charm the rest of the grid doesn’t?”

“holy shit,” natalie said, “was this the strategy, y/n?”

“i told him to make them like him? are you not entertained?”

nico, for once, was speechless on stage. george huffed next to toto, waiting for his turn to talk. the german clocked onto this and a devilish smile broke out on his face.

“so george, you and y/n grew up together… do you not have charm? as far as we can tell, you haven’t spoken to y/n in years?”

y/n’s mouth dropped open. jenson was right, there’s no way this format, at least with nico hosting, was ever happening again.

“i have more than enough charm, thank you nico. are you going to ask us anymore questions about the season or is it all just tabloid questions from you tonight?”

“tabloid?! well, now that makes me think you’ve got something to hide… but as for your 2025 season, are you afraid that you might lose to an 18-year-old rookie?”

george sputtered in response, “i have no fear of losing, i just beat a seven time world champion, a rookie, no offence, has no bearing on my season.”

“that’s a big claim, george. you better hope you stick to it. it’ll be your sixth season in formula one, do you think you’ll finally be able to claim the number one driver role?”

george’s face was getting redder and redder as he tried to remain calm. he made eye contact with y/n briefly, giving her the subtlest glare he could.

“i think i made a very good case for myself for the last two seasons and toto has faith in me to lead this team back to where they should be.”

nico had a wolfish grin on his face, he was enjoying this psychological torture a little too much.

“you don’t think toto has more faith in kimi, a driver he allowed to skip an entire step on the junior ladder and is giving his formula one debut at just 18? and straight into a mercedes rather than say… a williams?”

george’s shiny mask was starting to slip. this was meant to be a fun event for fans but had descended into a nico rosberg masterclass of making everyone suffer - and for once y/n was enjoying it.

“classy as always, nico,” george said.

“it’s what i do best,” nico laughed to himself, “back to you kimi, are you intimidated at all by your senior teammate? do you think you can make a case for yourself as the number one driver?”

the italian paused for a moment, thinking to y/n’s advice - he needed people to like him.

“i’m more than happy to play a team game to bring mercedes back to the top,” he smiled to toto, “but make no mistake i’m here to win and i won’t just step aside without good reason.”

“well, this is a duo i’ll be watching closely this season. mercedes!”

the trio shuffled off of stage and y/n let out a sigh of relief, she could throw back as much champagne as she wanted now.

another couple of teams made their way past nico’s questioning, but as nico hulkenberg and gabriel bortoleto made their way off of the stage the audience held their breath. next was ferrari.

charles, lewis and fred vasseur made their way on stage, and as has become classic fashion, lewis situated himself as far from nico as possible.

“welcome, welcome. a different line up this year and much to think about, do you think you can finally bring the championship back to italy?”

fred started on what was likely a pre-written script and y/n tuned out for a second. the ferrari boys looked nothing short of glamorous in their tailored black suits with the yellow of the ferrari logo popping on the left breast. both men looked assured, no nerves, just pure confidence - the type of confidence that draws you to a person.

y/n caught lewis’ eye and he gave her a quick wink, something that did not go unnoticed by jenson beside her.

“what was that all about, rocky?” jenson whispered. y/n kept looking forward, ignoring jenson’s stare burning into the side of her head. the brit kept poking her, “i’m not going to stop until you answer me!”

y/n batted his hand away, “i don’t know what you’re talking about old man, leave me alone!”

“i saw that, hell, the whole place saw that! you are aware that is a man 14 years your senior!”

y/n downed her champagne and whispered to jenson, “listen, i don’t know what the fuck is happening! he came to my apartment and he’s being really nice? i don’t know?!”

jenson looked between the two and grabbed his own champagne. “i was teammates with that guy! you might be a grown up now but he’s really old!”

y/n slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her laughing out loud. jenson did have a point. was lewis actually flirting with her or was he just being nice? was she falling into the same headspace that lando and george were in with her?

“i am not going to get with lewis, jens. he’s just being nice, that’s all. now shut up i want to see if nico makes the brocedes breakup all of our problem.”

nico had finished his interrogation of charles and set his sights on his former teammate. y/n grabbed jenson’s hand in anticipation.

“so lewis, new team, new you? how do you feel coming into a team where charles has dominated for the last five years?”

lewis gives nico a forced smile, “i am excited for the challenge. there’s a lot of changes coming into this season, people leaving and new faces. it’s best to face a challenge head on rather than running.”

“you didn’t run from mercedes? you didn’t want to stick it out and retire with the team that gave you so much success?”

“you’d know all about running wouldn’t you nico?”

y/n dropped her glass of champagne and the rest of the audience gasped but nico did not look phased at all.

“i am happy with my decision, time will tell if you’ll be happy with yours. charles dealt with sebastian, don’t think he’ll roll over for you.”

charles looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but on stage and fred’s face would tell you he’s at the gallows rather than a car launch.

“was in your brief today to make the vibes in here as rancid as possible? as i said i am excited for the season ahead and nothing you can say today will change that.”

lewis took the lead and left the stage, leaving nico alone with a pleased look on his face. the german found y/n’s gaze again and wiggled his eyebrows. if there was ever a man you need to take the heat off of you, he was the one.

there was one final team to go and this entire nightmare of a night would be over. the final team was none other than red bull - nothing could possibly go wrong here could they?

christian, like the other team principals, started with a long-winded spiel that said a whole lot of nothing. y/n smiled widely when she caught max’s eye and he responded with an eye roll directed at christian’s rambling. the dutchman, for a second, had forgotten he was in fact on stage in front of thousands. the pair stare at each other and bite their lips to keep the laughs in.

jenson leaned in again, “not to keep questioning you, but what is happening here? and don’t lie, i know he’s the only one you kept in contact with and who you have been staying with in monaco.”

“it’s nothing! it’s something? i don’t know what it is? we’re just existing together. i think romance in the paddock is the worst thing for me right now. i need to be fully focused on kimi.”

“first of all - we’re exisiting together? that’s so fucking gross. and two - you’re still allowed to have fun?” jenson wiggled his eyebrows.

“not everyone can be the playboy of formula one, stud.”

“true. i’m not sure you have the devilishly good looks to be a playboy - hey”

y/n snatched his glass of champagne and turned back towards the stage just as max took to the microphone.

“so max, do you think there’s a chance of a fifth title in a row?”

max laughed in his signature way, “here i thought you’d gotten all of your aggression out with lewis. we’ll have to see how we line up against the other teams, but you always have to believe you can win every single race, so that’s what i’ll continue to do.”

a quick glance from nico told y/n that her peaceful night hadn’t started just yet.

“you’ll finally have your best friend back in the paddock, are you still excited even though she’ll be in mercedes uniform?”

“i think toto has another thing coming if he thinks she’ll be wearing that ugly uniform,” max said, “but it makes no difference to me what garage y/n is in, we’re like magnets, you can’t keep us a part for long.”

nico hummed, “is that why you were the only one she kept in contact with after the crash?”

“yes? it’s mostly because we’re best friends but also because i’m a decent human being.”

oh fuck.

“how do you mean, max?”

christian tried to butt in, “i don’t think we need to go into that here.”

“oh i’m more than happy to, and nico has been stirring all night, what’s just a little more to add to the pot?”

you could almost hear the audience shuffling to the edge of their seats and for the first time that evening, y/n felt some of the cameras on her. she gave them a small wave and hoped they would pan back to the actual action.

“all i’m saying is that there are a lot of victim complexes in the paddock, it’s full of people who would rather say ‘i don’t know why she doesn’t talk to me?’ rather than do some actual introspection. y/n will talk to you if you’re not an asshole, just as kimi.”

“so you’re saying there’s a truth to the rumours?”

“which rumours? you know, since your employers like to report on so many?”

nico chuckled, “well, the rumours that perhaps the brits in the paddock didn’t get on as well as we were led to believe?”

max smiled, “well, that’s not my story to tell, but i’ve found that if you ask them, they’re more than happy to give you the scoop.”

for a moment, y/n’s heart stopped, fearing that nico would take this as the chance to bring her into the fray. max seemed to sense this as well and added, “but as for me, i’m just happy she’s back in any capacity. i’ve missed my partner in crime.”

“have you spoken about formula one in her break at all? you won all four of your titles in that time?”

“i know she watched it, but we haven’t spoken about it. i respected her boundaries at the time, but i knew she was watching based on some suspiciously timed texts.”

nico laughed, “i’m not sure we can ever stay away from this sport for long.”

“i’m glad that is the case,” max said, more to himself than anyone else.

the red bull boys were ushered off of the stage as nico delivered his closing remarks and announced the musical guests.

“he’s glad that’s the case? oh he’s in deep,” jenson gasped, “you can’t tell me that’s nothing, i rebuke it right this second.”

y/n sighed, standing and heading to the backstage bar. “i really don’t want to think about it jenson.”

“but you’re staying at his house, he’s building shit for your cat and gushing about you on stage!”

“i am well aware, but i don’t really know what you want me to do about that?”

“i want you to get your man and let him treat you how you’re supposed to be!”

y/n picked up another glass of champagne, talking the biggest sip before replying to jenson.

“you’re just as bad as the girls on twitter sometimes.”

kimi bursts through the doors, back in his comfy clothes, and rushes over to y/n. she wraps the italian into a hug.

“i’m so proud of you!”

kimi blushes, rocking back and forth on his feet, “thank you, y/n! i’m so glad we’ve got this out of the way i’m ready to race now!”

jenson laughed along side them, “an eager one, this one. i remember when i had that much energy.”

the rest of the drivers flooded into the room, grabbing drinks or just taking a seat. max, much like kimi, made his way straight to y/n, also pulling her into his chest. he whispered in her ear, “i’m sorry i got carried away talking about you, i just can’t help myself.”

y/n can’t help but feel the butterflies in her stomach at the confession. she was really trying to keep her feelings out of her return to formula one, but seeing max like this was putting a real spanner in the works. the dutchman’s protective nature along side his intense respect for her made her feel special for the first time since the crash.

“i take no offence, maxy. i’ll never say no to a compliment, especially from you.”

the group moves away from the bar and as they settle into their seats backstage, max’s arm wraps around her waist. y/n knew she shouldn’t do it, not here in front of everyone but that’s what her heart wanted. the first few weeks into her return and all the drama was wearing on her and they hadn’t even made it to the paddock yet. she snuggled into max’s side, letting the dutchman brush her hair out of her face.

“y/n?” kimi said from the other side of her, “i’m really happy you’re here, and i hope you’ll let yourself have this,” kimi motioned to max, who was deep in conversation with jenson.

“don’t you worry about that, kimi.”

“you’ve punished yourself for years, please don’t keep telling yourself that you’re not allowed this. also don’t wait up for me, i’m going to crash at ollie’s”

kimi said as his departing gift as he went to catch up with ollie and watch some of the music. y/n let herself relax back into max’s hold and her eyes close, all of the pent up stress of the evening rushing out.

“are we really that boring?” jenson asked.

“do you want to get out of here, y/n?” max asked, when y/n flopped further onto him, he took that as his answer.

grabbing her bag, max took y/n’s hand in his and pulled her from the seat. the pair exchanged hugs with jenson and made a quiet exit from backstage. they tried to be as subtle as possible, but nothing is ever secret in formula one.

jenson slid in beside lewis at the bar.

“you want to tell me what your plan is with her?”

lewis looked at his former teammate in confusion.

“i saw that wink and i know you were flirting with her when you went to her apartment. what’s the plan, you’re 14 years older than her?”

“i don’t have a plan? i felt bad about how i was when she was in formula one, i’m just trying to make her feel welcome again.”

“and winking at her at a televised event is definitely going to help?”

lewis scoffed, “i don’t really like what you’re implying.”

“i’m implying that you need to watch your step, seriously. the vultures are just waiting for her to make one wrong step, don’t give them an excuse to call her a gold digger or anything along those lines.”

“and what if i said i did like her?”

“i’d ask you if you actually know her? you didn’t speak to her after the crash, you didn’t speak to her when she was in the sport so i’m confused to where this would have come from?”

“you can drop the dad act jenson, i’m just being friendly. it looks like max got in there first anyway.”

jenson hummed, “not everything is a competition.”

y/n and max climbed into max’s hire car for the weekend and finally let themselves breathe.

“that was a lot,” y/n said, slipping off her heels, “nico really was out for blood.”

“i found it entertaining, but that usually is a death wish for anything in formula one.”

the pair laughed, and as max turned the ignition, y/n’s taylor swift playlist crackled into life.

“are you heading back to your hotel or do you want to crash at mine?” y/n asked as she put her address into the gps, despite max knowing nearly every route across london to her apartment.

“a chance to avoid team duties for as long as possible? count me in!”

“so you don’t want to spend more time with me? just want to avoid your team?”

max placed his hand on her thigh, “you know i always want to spend more time with you.”

the streets were relatively clear at this time with the event still in swing. max weaved through traffic as they entered west london. the dutchman nestled his car in y/n’s spot for her pink cadillac that was still in monaco. y/n started to fiddle with her heels to put them back on, but max stopped her.

he walked round to her side of the car and picked up her up bridal style. y/n giggled and wrapped her arms around max’s neck. the pair made their way up to her apartment as fast as possible, but made sure to say hi to frank who not so subtlety gave y/n a thumbs up and a wink.

the apartment was quiet without the meows of brando who was also back in monaco with jimmy and sassy. max stopped in the kitchen to pour two glasses of water but y/n went ahead to the bathroom to wash off the grime of the event.

she slipped into bed dressed in her pjamas that consisted of some old gym shorts and one of max’s toro rosso shirts. the dutchman knocked on her door.

“come in, maxy.”

max made his way into the room, placing the glass of water on her beside table. he sat on the edge of the bed, “good night, try not to dream of me too much.” the dutchman leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead before moving back towards the door.

“max?”

“yes?”

“will you stay with me?”

“always.”

max got under the covers and tentatively reached out to her. sensing the apprehension, y/n turned over and tucked herself under max’s chin. his arms snuck around her waist and for the first time in three years, y/n finally slept peacefully without the images of her crash.

fin.

note: sorry this took so long, i've been a bit of a writing rut but i'm back!

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[starlightkun]

⇢ word count: 6.9k ⇢ genre: fluff, established relationship, secret relationship, office workers!jisung & reader, holiday themed, a bit of a crackfic (everyone in this is slightly unhinged and you should NOT act like them in your actual workplace PLEASE), appearances from absolute nuisances nohyuck (mainly hyuck being a nuisance and jeno being a desk candy bowl thief) and chill boss johnny (he’s actually the only normal one around this office fr), part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon ⇢ warnings: lots of discussions of sex/sleeping together (nohyuck have an absolutely unhinged plot to have reader hook up w jisung w/o realizing that they’re already dating, shenanigans ensue) ⇢ extra info: this was originally going to be part of want from me, but i felt like i was losing the plot a bit, so i tweaked some stuff and made it its own fic instead this is part of my 2024 hallmark movie marathon, three short, unrelated fics starring jisung all with cheesy hallmark christmas movie-esque premises. there’s no continuing plotline between fics in this series, they’re all standalone fics ⇢ author’s note: ok i may be stretching the concept of a ‘cheesy hallmark movie’ in this one, but there’s a holiday party. sue me. ⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon

“You need to fuck Jisung.” Donghyuck sat on your desk the following Monday, nearly knocking your cup of pens over.

“What happened to hello? How are you?”

“I get why you didn’t want to tell anybody when I was interviewing,” Jisung sighed as you adjusted his tie for him. “But don’t you think everyone’s formed their own opinions about me by now?”

“You told me Mr. Kang called you Joosung yesterday,” you pointed out. “We agreed after your three-month evaluation, remember?”

“That’s next month!”

“Two weeks. December tenth, to be exact, will be three months since you started.”

“I know, I know.” He pulled you closer by your hips, burying his face in your neck. “Thank you.”

You rested one hand on the nape of his neck, the other stroking his hair. “I hate it too. I was in the bathroom yesterday and overheard a couple of the women from budgeting talking about you. Apparently one of them wants to ask you to the holiday party.”

He lifted his head up, squinting with confusion. “Wait, was it Song Minji from budgeting?”

“Yes…”

“Yesterday she asked me if I was going, I said yes, then she asked if I had a date, and I said no, and she said she didn’t either. Then she just stared at me. It was really awkward, so I told her I had to get back to my spreadsheets and walked away.”

You burst out laughing, covering your mouth as your boyfriend continued looking down at you with absolutely endearing confusion. Patting his cheek, you informed him gently, “She was waiting for you to ask her to the party, baby.”

“Well, even if I knew that, I wouldn’t have,” he huffed.

“I know, Sungie,” you kissed his cheek. “I know.”

“Good.”

You glanced at the time on your bedside clock, tapping his arm indicatively. “We’ve got to go.”

“Y/N, someone from bookkeeping will be over to pick these receipts up today,” Mr. Suh, your boss, informed you, setting a large banker box down on the ledge behind your computer monitor.

You nodded. “You sure you don’t want me to just take them over there now?”

Bookkeeping was on the same floor as your team, just on the opposite side of the large office building.

“No, I’ve got six more boxes in my office. They should be coming with a dolly. I’ve got a lunch meeting, then I’m on-site at a build. Can you make sure they get them all?”

“Of course. See you tomorrow, then.”

“Thank you. See you tomorrow.” He smiled and reached into your candy bowl, securing a chocolate for himself before heading off towards the elevator.

As you continued working up your reports, another figure approached your desk.

“Hi.” Jisung smiled down at you from over the banker box.

“And what is a bookkeeping gremlin doing over here?” You teased, having already spotted the bright orange dolly next to him. “They let you guys out of your cages?”

“Just me, because I’m on a mission.” He did a little mock salute, making you giggle. He then looked between the dolly and the box. “But I don’t really think this was necessary…”

“There’s six more boxes in Mr. Suh’s office,” you informed him happily, pointing to your boss’ door.

“Oh.”

Two of your team members, Donghyuck and Jeno, congregated around your desk then as well, Jeno zeroing in on your candy bowl as always, and Donghyuck snooping at what you were doing on your screen.

“Boring!” Hyuck declared, hitting CTRL + S on your keyboard to save it for you before exiting out of the program. “Lunchtime!”

“Hey, I was working on that, you know,” you protested, keeping up your usual banter with your work friend.

“Now you’re not,” he shrugged.

“Actually, you were chatting with…” Jeno trailed off, looking at Jisung expectantly.

“Jisung,” your boyfriend filled in.

“—You were chatting with Jisung when we got here,” Jeno finished, popping another chocolate in his mouth and tucking it in his cheek to talk around it. “So you weren’t really working.”

“She was telling me where the other boxes of receipts were,” Jisung explained quickly, gesturing to the dolly. “I’m supposed to pick them up. I’m from bookkeeping.”

Hyuck scanned him from head to toe. “You’re new, right?”

He nodded.

“Come to lunch with us.”

“No, Hyuck,” you snorted, cutting up your food as your coworker attempted to show you a picture of another one of his friends over lunch. “The last asshole you set me up with stood me up, remember?”

“I told you, Jaemin got a stomach bug!” Hyuck insisted. “And that was like, over a year ago!”

You looked at him pointedly. “And he could text you but not me? Think about it.”

“Okay, so he was a flake, but Mark is like, a really good guy!” He elbowed your other coworker next to him. “Jeno, back me up!”

Jeno shrugged. “Eh, he seems like the kind of guy to call you ‘bro’ in bed.”

“Not the kind of back-up I meant!”

“Am I wrong?”

“Why are you thinking about what Mark would call you in bed, Jeno?” You snickered.

He stuck his tongue out at you, and you mimicked him.

Hyuck pushed on in his seemingly never-ending pursuit to set you up with his also never-ending pool of single friends. “Ignore him, Y/N. Will you at least consider? For me? Your bestest friend?”

“I never see you outside of work functions,” you pointed out.

“Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?”

“Whatever. Send me his CV,” you said noncommittally, taking a bite of your food.

“On it!”

“Wait, he’s applying for a job?” Jisung finally spoke from his seat beside you, his confusion apparent.

“No, that’s just what they call whatever information Hyuck sends her about the guys he tries to set her up with,” Jeno explained for him. “It ends up being pretty much the same stuff that’s on a résumé, though.”

Hyuck then focused in on a new target. “Jisung, what about you?”

He froze. “What?”

“Are you single?”

“Uhm—”

“Lie if you have to,” you advised. “Once he smells blood, you’re done for.”

“I’m not a shark!” Hyuck took great offense to this comparison. “I’m-I’m like Cupid!”

You let out a derisive laugh at that, stabbing your fork into your food and lifting your next bite to your mouth.

“I’ve got a girlfriend,” Jisung answered hurriedly.

Hyuck narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “So you’re bringing her to the Christmas party.”

“I-I don’t know, we uhm—we just started seeing each other.”

“You’ll bring her to the next monthly mixer, then?”

“I’m pretty sure this is workplace harassment,” you stepped in on Jisung’s behalf, giving Hyuck a disapproving look. “We had a seminar, remember?”

“You’re not curious?”

“No, I don’t care to see you bother poor Jisung for the rest of our fleeting lunch break.”

“Fine, I won’t disturb Y/N’s precious lunch break,” he gave in melodramatically. “But I want to hear about her when we get back to the office, Jisung.”

When you and Jisung got home that evening, you waited until the two of you had gotten out of your work clothes to address the pout on his lips that had been present ever since lunch.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting at your dining table with him.

He started unpacking the to-go food. “Why did you tell Donghyuck to send you that guy’s info?”

“To get him to shut up about it. He would’ve done that for our whole lunch break, Sungie.” You shook your head, watching as he avoided your eyes. “Are you jealous? It’s not like I’m actually going to do anything with it.”

“I know, but I still don’t like that he’s sending you dating résumés, and it’s apparently been a regular thing?”

“Okay, I know we made it sound like it happens all the time,” you agreed. “This is like the third time, including the guy who stood me up last year. When you and I started dating, I told Hyuck not to bother anymore. But then he heard that I wasn’t bringing a date to the holiday party, and he started his little matchmaking thing again. That’s why I never told you, because there never was anything to tell.”

“I’m sorry if it sounded like I was accusing you of something, baby,” Jisung murmured, reaching for your hand over the table.

“Do you want me to block him or something?”

He sighed. “No, of course not.”

“Damn it, I was hoping you’d say yes. I’ve been looking for an excuse for years.”

He finally chuckled at that, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“Here.” You brought out your phone and stood behind him, maneuvering your arms around his shoulders so he could see your screen as you opened your texts with Hyuck and started deleting the most recent ones debriefing you on his newest eligible bachelor for you.

“Wait a second.” Jisung stopped you before you could delete all the pictures that Hyuck had sent.

“What?”

To your surprise, your boyfriend actually opened one of the pictures of the guy.

“Jeno was right,” he snorted, closing out of the picture.

“Wh—Oh,” you started laughing. “Yeah, absolutely.”

You finished deleting everything about the guy, then shut your phone off. “All gone. Can’t even remember his name.”

Jisung pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Thanks, baby.”

“And I’ll tell Hyuck no more in the future. Sound good?”

“No, maybe it’s for the best. I don’t think you need to be subjected to the interrogation I went through today.” He leaned his head against yours affectionately.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I trust you.”

“Aw, thank you, Sungie.” You kissed his hair then hugged him properly. “I knew that. It was cute to see you get jealous, though.”

“You need to fuck Jisung.” Donghyuck sat on your desk the following Monday, nearly knocking your cup of pens over.

“What happened to hello? How are you?” You blinked up at him incredulously, rescuing your writing utensils and pushing them to a far corner.

“No time, we need to save our new favorite little bookkeeping gremlin.” He quickly saved your project and closed the window on your computer.

“And you think having sex with me is the cure for cancer or something?” You snorted. “They really wasted their money on your slot in that workplace harassment seminar.”

“No, look, he’s in an awful, awful situationship. I know he said she’s his girlfriend at lunch the other day, but he doesn’t have any pictures of her, he didn’t want to show me her social media. He said she probably wouldn’t be able to come to the mixer because of her ‘work schedule’—” Hyuck used finger quotes around the words ‘work schedule’ “—but the way he said, it sounded like he was just preemptively making excuses because he knew she would turn him down. I asked him about their first date, and you want to know his answer?”

“What?” You asked dryly.

“That they don’t really do ‘that stuff!’” More air quotes.

“Okay?”

“Then I asked what stuff they do do, and he turned bright red!”

“So he’s lying about having a girlfriend to get you off his back.”

“Mm, she sounded pretty real.”

“Okay, maybe he’s twisting the truth and he’s got a fuckbuddy and he still doesn’t want you playing matchmaker,” you suggested another alternative. “Either way, you should leave him alone.”

“No, look, I’ve got this all figured out. He needs to be reminded that there’s women other than this girl—”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “How do you have a rotating roster of men to throw at me, but somehow the only woman that comes to mind for your braindead plan is the one in your immediate line of sight? This is confirming my suspicions that you get no bitches, Lee Donghyuck. Have you talked to a single woman other than me and your mother?”

“Listen, it has to be you so nobody catches feelings!”

“So you’re saying I’m unlovable?”

His eyes widened comically as he went to backpedal. “No, of course not! I meant—Jeno, back me up!”

Jeno, who had been silently leaning against the ledge behind your computer monitor this whole time, happily snacking on the red and green Hershey’s kisses in your candy bowl, slowly finished off the one in his mouth before speaking. “Here’s the thing—”

“You condone this?” You scoffed.

He shrugged. “It’s like, his second-worst idea. Marginally better than setting you up with Na Jaemin.”

“Why do I bother asking for your back-up?” Hyuck muttered.

“But he doesn’t think you’re unlovable. He just knows that you’re a professional, and Jisung is still a newbie and works in a different department. So obviously, there’s like no risk of catching feelings if you guys do… Because work, you know?”

You sat back in your chair, glancing between the two of them dubiously. “Do you two think these are normal things to say to people? At work? To your coworker?”

They looked at each other with wide, horrified eyes, beginning to stutter apologetically.

“I’m in,” you declared abruptly, watching their jaws drop. You then focused your next sentence at Hyuck specifically. “If you’ll stop trying to set me up.”

“Done,” he agreed immediately.

Jisung had excitedly told you about the results of his three-month evaluation to you over dinner that evening, and as you two cleaned up after, you relayed your conversation with your coworkers to him.

“I finally got Hyuck to stop setting me up. Permanently,” you announced in a sing-songy voice, drying the last dish Jisung had just handed you before putting it up in the cabinet.

“Really? Did you find out he killed someone or something?” He asked, shaking the water off his hands over the sink before grabbing the towel hanging in front of it to start drying his hands.

“Nope, he just asked me to do something.”

“Oh, and who do you have to kill?”

“Nobody.” You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind him. “You see, he’s very concerned that this ‘girlfriend’ of yours doesn’t like you as much as you like her.”

“I know we’re literally coworkers, but he needs to get a job,” Jisung retorted.

“Why did you say we didn’t go dates when he asked about our first date?”

“I was afraid you might’ve mentioned it before and I didn’t want him to connect the dots if I told the same story.”

“You couldn’t come up with a fake first date? Carnival? Arcade? Dinner?”

“I was panicking!”

“Anyway, he thinks you’re in a toxic situationship, and that the only solution is for me to sleep with you.”

“Wait what?!” His muscles flexed and contracted under your hands with his words, and he seemed almost oblivious as you continued roaming them over his front.

“Because we would never catch feelings for each other, obviously,” you informed him with mocking seriousness, making him scoff.

“I assume you told him to fuck off and stop setting you up anyway?”

“Nope.”

“Huh?”

You finally put a hand under his shirt to touch his bare skin, and he shivered and jerked away instinctively.

“Ah! Cold hands, baby,” he whined, but made no further moves to get away.

“Then let me warm them up, Sungie,” you giggled, pressing your fingers more intentionally against his skin. “Anyway, why would I pass up the perfect opportunity to fuck with Hyuck and fuck my hot boyfriend at the same time?”

“I don’t think I like how similar that phrasing was.”

“Sungie,” you dragged out the last vowel pleadingly.

“So you’ve got a scheme?” He asked knowingly.

“A fun one,” you promised, kissing his neck. “In multiple senses of the word. But it means everyone finding out we’re together a few days later than we planned. Is that okay?”

He let out a deep sigh. “Alright. What’s first?”

“I’ve got to hold up my end of the deal, of course.”

Donghyuck and Jeno were quick to swarm you first thing in the morning. They at least brought you a coffee this time. There was no work up on your computer yet for Hyuck to close out of, so he just made himself at home on top of your papers that were on your desk instead.

“Okay, we need to brainstorm,” Hyuck got right to business as Jeno dug into your candy bowl. Well, not the business you were actually sitting inside of, but his plot. “The holiday party is on Friday. I’m thinking if you start being a little flirty leading up to it, like casual, you know, not too much, that should warm him up.”

“The more planning you put into this, the creepier it gets,” you informed him, taking a sip of your coffee.

The elevator dinged then, and Jisung stepped off, eyes focused on his feet as he hurried off towards the break room. The elevator opened towards your side of the floor, while bookkeeping was on the other side, and the breakroom, storage closet, and copy room were situated at the midpoints on the floor.

“Jisung’s late?” Jeno commented, bewildered. “Didn’t he say he always gets here ten minutes early to make his coffee before everyone else?”

Hyuck looked at this as well, eyes narrowing. He turned back to you and Jeno. “Did you guys see that big hickey on his neck? Now he’s running late and wearing the same tie as yesterday? This is why we need to help him. Anyway—”

You shifted in your seat then, readjusting your blazer so that it ‘accidentally’ pulled your blouse just enough to show off a love bite situated on your collarbone.

Hyuck actually froze in place, staring at you as he short-circuited. Jeno gave you a quiet, short round of applause.

“Damn, you work fast,” he commented.

You looked down at where Hyuck was staring, as if belatedly realizing your mistake, moving your neckline back up to cover it again.

“You really…” Donghyuck trailed off, blinking rapidly as he began rebooting.

You shrugged. “Didn’t want to announce it like we were in a locker room.”

“He’s walking over here,” Jeno coughed under his breath.

And sure enough, Jisung approached your desk. He looked uncertainly at Donghyuck sitting next to you, and ended up standing by Jeno behind the ledge, finally looking you in the eye.

“H-Hi, Y/N,” he stuttered nervously.

“Morning, Jisung,” you greeted him brightly. “Kiss?”

“Huh?!” He squeaked.

“Hershey kiss?” You pointed to the bowl that Jeno was grabbing another candy from. “They’re caramel filled.”

“O-Oh. Sure, thanks.” He took a green one. “S-See you later.”

“Bye.”

With that, Jisung skittered away, back off towards bookkeeping. Hyuck and Jeno both turned to you with wide eyes.

“I’ve made a grave miscalculation,” Hyuck whispered.

“That boy is pussy whipped,” Jeno whistled lowly.

You rolled your eyes at them. “Or maybe you guys were looking at the two of us with flashing ‘I KNOW YOU HAD SEX’ signs over your heads.”

“Oh, did I forget to leave that at home again?” Hyuck replied snidely, mockingly swatting just above his head. He then leaned in to whisper-yell at you, “Do you actually have the cure for cancer in there because what the hell was that?!”

“Good morning, Mr. Suh!” You chirped at your boss as he walked by.

Hyuck sat up straight, saluting to your boss. “Good morning, Mr. Suh!”

“Mornin’, Mr. Suh,” Jeno said through a mouthful of candy.

“Morning, morning, morning,” Mr. Suh greeted each of you in turn, then yawned. “Ugh, is it Friday yet?”

“Not quite, unfortunately,” you chuckled.

At home that night, you were keeled over with laughter on your couch, clutching your stomach as you and Jisung recalled the looks on your coworkers’ faces this morning.

“Who knew you were such a good actor, Sungie?” You choked out through laughter, wiping at your tears.

“I just had to act like I was madly in love with you, that wasn’t acting, baby,” he smiled fondly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer. “I’ve had to act every day at work except today.”

“So smooth, Park Jisung,” you giggled, kissing him.

“It’s the truth.”

“I know. You’ve never been smooth, just honest. And I love that about you.”

“Ouch, and also thanks?”

You snickered and kissed his pout. “Ready for tomorrow?”

Stepping off the elevator in the morning, you didn’t spare another glance to Jisung, who had ridden up with you. Typically, you would take separate elevators, one of you waiting for the next one, but today, you broke that rule. You dropped off your purse at your desk before going to the break room and making your usual cup of coffee.

Jeno and Donghyuck were already waiting for you at your desk. You rolled your eyes at them. “You two have your own desks, you know?”

“You and Jisung got here at the same time,” Jeno stated.

“Is there a question in there?” You raised an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of your coffee.

“Did you get a new shampoo?” Donghyuck asked, leaning forward to sniff the air around your head.

You swatted at him. “Personal space?”

“That doesn’t smell like a woman’s shampoo…” He went back in for another sniff.

“Quit it, freak!” You rolled away from him.

“What’s happening?” A third voice had joined you all, right on time. Jisung was at your desk, cup of coffee in hand.

“Nothing, Jisung.” You threw on a bright smile, scooting back up to your desk. “What can I do for you?”

“I-I just uhm, I wanted to say good morning. And I brought you some coffee.” He offered the cup out to you.

“Aw, thanks,” you said sincerely, then looked down at your own cup on your desk regretfully. “But I already got some.”

His face fell. “O-Oh. I guess I’ll—”

“Hold on, Jisung!” Donghyuck stopped him from leaving, hopping off your desk. Jisung froze in place as your coworker grabbed his arm. First, he took the coffee from his hand and set it on the ledge behind your monitor, then he grabbed your boyfriend’s collar and yanked him down to take a deep whiff of his hair. Jisung yelped at the rough treatment, arms flailing until Hyuck let him go, giving him a loud slap on the shoulder. “That’s all. Thanks for the coffee.”

“Lunch later?” Jeno offered to him. “All four of us.”

“S-Sure,” he looked at you and blushed before hurrying away.

You crossed your arms as you glared at Hyuck. “You literally just assaulted him.”

“And you—” He pointed at you dramatically, “—slept with him again. That’s his shampoo that I was smelling on you.”

“I think my extracurriculars are none of your business.”

“Mm, Jisung’s more of a co-curricular, don’t you think?”

Jeno snickered.

“I think it’s still none of your business.”

“This wasn’t the plan, Y/N.”

“I did your stupid plan, Hyuck. Why are you so obsessed with Jisung’s sex life? Is it because you’re not getting any?” You taunted.

“Nice attempt to deflect, but the plan was to get him to stop being strung along by that other girl. Not for you to start stringing him along.”

“You make me sound like an evil witch.”

“So you’re serious about Jisung then?” Hyuck gasped mockingly. “Adorable. Gonna be each other’s date to the holiday party? When are you meeting the parents? Have you picked a ring yet?”

You bit down on your lip and looked at your lap to avoid laughing, which he thankfully seemed to interpret as guilt on your part.

“Exactly as I thought,” he said smugly.

“The puppy love thing is cute now, but it’s probably best for working together in the long run to just let him down easy sooner,” Jeno gave some surprisingly wise advice through a half-eaten Hershey’s kiss.

Having composed yourself, you finally let out a contemplative, resigned sigh. “Yeah, you guys are probably right.”

“Always are,” Hyuck tsked.

Lunch was honestly kind of fun—It felt like being a kid with a crush again, sneaking glances at Jisung, trying not to be too obvious about your flirting, and playing innocent when your coworkers would shoot you pointed looks every time Jisung did something totally head-over-heels for you.

Mid-afternoon, and Jisung was back at your desk. He had a few papers in his hand, some flimsy excuse of questions about the receipts he’d picked up last week, but really, you two were just talking. Discussing what to make for dinner, additions to the grocery list, what you were working on, little things.

The sound of a door opening caught your attention, and you looked over to see Mr. Suh coming out of his office. He’d just been on a phone conference, and had his empty coffee mug in his hand.

“Hi, Mr. Suh.” You sat up a little straighter. “Afternoon decaf?”

“Yep.” He lifted the mug in greeting as he walked by, heading for the breakroom.

“I’m going back to my cage with the other bookkeeping gremlins,” Jisung murmured. “Don’t want him to catch me still here when he gets back.”

“Laser beams aren’t going to come out of his eyes and incinerate you on the spot if he does, you know,” you giggled.

“How do you know?” He tapped your desk rhythmically, then mouthed, ‘See you later.’

You mouthed it back, contentedly watching him walk away. You were back to working on your reports when Mr. Suh returned from the break room. He drifted over to your desk, however, standing against the ledge conspiratorially.

“Was that the new kid in bookkeeping?” He asked lightly, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, Park Jisung,” you informed him. At your boss’ inquisitive lean forward, you gave a little more context, “He picked up those receipts last week and Hyuck ended up inviting him out for lunch with us.”

“He seems to be over here quite a bit recently.”

“We chitchat sometimes.” You paused, then widened your eyes. “Is that a problem? Nothing’s been late or anything, has it?”

He gave you his usual easy-going smile. “It’s fine, Y/N. Your work has been great as usual.”

“Okay, good.”

“Hi, baby,” Jisung greeted you brightly that evening from your usual meet-up place after work. If neither of you had to stay late, or had an errand to run after work, you would meet up outside a cornerstore a couple blocks away from the office.

“Hi, co-curricular,” you beamed back, leaning into the kiss he was pressing to your cheek.

He pulled away with an adorably confused pout on his face. You laughed, taking his arm in yours as you started down the sidewalks together, relaying your conversation with Hyuck and Jeno this morning.

“I don’t know what’s funnier, the idea of me genuinely ‘stringing you along’ or your new nickname,” you giggled, squeezing his arm.

“You already changed my phone contact, didn’t you?”

“I put a heart next to it!”

“The rumor has spread to bookkeeping, by the way.”

You blinked at him in mock surprise. “You guys have office gossip over there?”

“Yeah, we finally invented the wheel and have time to gossip now,” he snorted, rolling his eyes. “Huang Renjun told me he heard Song Minji and Park Chaeyeon talking about it in the copy room.”

“That’s how it breached containment,” you tutted. Chaeyeon was from your department, but you knew she and Minji were office friends. She must have overheard it from your area—Hyuck wasn’t exactly the quietest man you knew, and there was no way your other coworkers hadn’t noticed Jisung’s frequent trips to your desk if Mr. Suh had.

“Uh-huh.”

“What exactly were they saying? Did Renjun tell you?”

“Some stuff he didn’t want to repeat about you—” He cleared his throat. “But mostly, he wanted to ask me what, if anything was true. I felt bad lying, I like Renjun.”

“Yeah, he was my favorite bookkeeping gremlin before you started.”

Jisung elbowed you, obviously offended. “I still did bookkeeping before I worked here! I just did it somewhere else!”

“He was my favorite at this company before you started. Better?”

“Much.” He smiled as you leaned in to kiss his nose. “I told him the rumors weren’t true.”

“That wasn’t a lie!” You reminded him emphatically. “We’re not just coworkers with benefits, or co-curriculars, or recently started secretly dating, or whatever!”

“I’m just glad we only have two more days of this.” He laced his fingers with yours. “I want to be able to have a picture of us on my desk, and talk about you to everyone, and show up and leave together.”

“Me too,” you agreed, fond smile on your lips as you approached your front door. “It’s been fun, but the best part will be when everyone knows you’re mine. For real.”

This was weird. You had been at work for thirty minutes and hadn’t seen nor heard Hyuck or Jeno. Maybe today would be normal for once. As soon as that idea had crossed your mind, they came beelining for your desk, and you knew that would be impossible.

“Good—” You couldn’t even get a friendly greeting out of your mouth, Donghyuck fully sitting on top of your keyboard, entering a bunch of random characters into the email you had been writing. “Uhm, you know, that email to Mr. Suh wasn’t important, actually…”

Yanking your keyboard out from under Hyuck, you deleted the gibberish and saved the draft email before setting it aside to deal with whatever was going on. You looked at your coworkers expectantly.

“Y/N…” Jeno surprisingly took the lead. “How did you go about letting Jisung down easy?”

You blinked in surprise. “What are you talking about? I just told him we should keep it professional and not see each other anymore…? And that was it.”

“And how did he take it?”

“Fine?” You glanced between their extremely serious demeanors with increasing worry. “Why? What’s going on?”

“We just had to comfort a crying Jisung in the men’s room for the past thirty minutes, that’s what’s going on!” Hyuck finally hissed. “I don’t think your easy is very easy!”

You leaned away from him in utter shock. That was definitely not part of the plan today, and now you were genuinely worried about why your boyfriend was apparently crying in the men’s room—he definitely wasn’t a good enough actor to do that on the spot.

“Woah, I didn’t—”

“Well, you did.”

“You don’t get to pin all the blame on me here,” you shot back immediately. “Whose stupid fucking plan was it for me to sleep with him in the first place anyway? If I recall, you never found him crying in the bathroom with his last girl that you were so concerned over.”

“You diverted from the plan and he got attached!”

“Okay, it’s everyone’s fault!” Jeno cut in decisively.

“What’s everyone’s fault?” Mr. Suh stopped by your desk, briefcase in hand as he had just gotten into the office. “There’s been an awful lot of whispering going on over here. Something I should know about?”

“No, Mr. Suh!” Hyuck chirped brightly. “Lunch plans fell through, we’re just rescheduling.”

Your boss looked at you skeptically, waiting for confirmation. You nodded hurriedly. “Yeah, lunch plans.”

“Alright.” He shrugged. “There’s a good sandwich place a block over. If you’re looking for recommendations.”

And with that, he went into his office.

Turning back to Hyuck and Jeno, you whispered, “I swear to God, I wasn’t expecting him to be crying. Okay?”

“We’re being a little harsh on you,” Jeno admitted quietly. “We should all just leave Jisung alone, I think.”

He took a candy out of your bowl and departed your desk without another word. Hyuck followed, still shaking his head. You quickly brought your phone out, immediately texting Jisung.

[you: BABY SOS]

He texted back immediately

[co-curricular 🩷: IM HERE]

[co-curricular 🩷: WHAT’S WRONG????]

[you: im fine but are YOU okay?!]

[you: jeno and hyuck told me they found you crying in the bathroom]

[co-curricular 🩷: oh nonono im okay baby i promise]

[co-curricular 🩷: im in the copy room, can you come so i can explain?]

[you: omw]

You hurried from your desk to the copy room, relieved to find it devoid of any coworkers except Jisung, who was attending to a copy machine, placing documents on the glass, closing the lid, and copying them in a steady rhythm.

“Sungie,” you breathed out in relief, darting over to him, needing to see his face for yourself.

“Hey, baby, hey,” he said soothingly, letting you wrap an arm around his waist and lean into him affectionately. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

You stepped back, cognizant of the fact that any of your coworkers could enter at any moment. “So what were Hyuck and Jeno talking about then?”

“When we got in this morning, the temperature change from the cold air outside to the heat inside the building was making my eyes water and my nose run,” he explained, gesturing to his face. “I went to take care of it in the bathroom. Donghyuck and Jeno ran into me while I was cleaning myself up and assumed I had been crying. Nothing I said could convince them otherwise, and they of course also assumed it was connected to their advice to you to let me down easy. So I played along. I know it wasn’t part of the plan, but I couldn’t get them to let it go.”

“I was almost feeling bad about lying to them, but they do this to themselves.” You crossed your arms, leaning against the wall next to his copy machine. Your tone softened as you added, “I’m really happy you’re okay, Sungie.”

“I’m happy you checked on me so quick, baby.” He smiled, taking a step closer to peck your forehead. He lowered his voice to say, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you murmured, looking up at him, fighting the urge to just grab his suit jacket and kiss him. “Lunch later?”

His nose wrinkled with distaste. “Are Hyuck and Jeno coming too?”

“Just us? At home?”

“Oh?”

“I miss you.”

He nodded. “I miss you too.”

It was finally Friday, finally the day of the office holiday party. You just had to survive work and lay the last couple breadcrumbs, then it would all be over tonight.

You were making your morning cup of coffee in the breakroom with Hyuck and Jeno, and went to engage them in conversation. “Are you guys bringing anyone to the party tonight?”

“Nah.” Hyuck poured his own cup.

“You’re not beating the ‘no bitches’ allegations.” You clicked your tongue.

“I think it’s a bit weird to bring someone you’re not like… properly dating to a work event and introduce them to your coworkers,” Jeno answered, rooting through the employee fridge.

“So that’s a no?”

“Correct,” he mimicked your taunting tone of voice.

Jisung, who had been quietly measuring out sugar into his own cup of coffee at a far counter, apart from your conversation physically but definitely within earshot, inserted himself then, “I’m bringing a date.”

Jeno hit his head on a shelf in the fridge. “Shit—! Huh?”

“You are?!” Hyuck blinked at him, utterly shocked.

You slowly turned around to face Jisung, cocking your head. “Oh, me too.”

“Since when?!” Hyuck snorted.

“Just because I didn’t tell you about it doesn’t mean I haven’t had one,” you hissed.

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Jisung nodded, and you saw the corner of his lips twitch, ever-so-slightly, too small for anybody who didn’t know him as well as you to catch. “Guess I’ll see you and your date tonight, then.”

“Same. You, as well.” You nodded curtly, watching him pivot on his heel and stride out of the breakroom.

“You don’t have a fucking date,” Hyuck stated dryly as soon as he was no longer in eyesight.

“That was hard to watch,” Jeno said, opening a Tupperware of food that definitely had somebody else’s name on it.

“And neither does he,” Hyuck continued, pointing to the doorway that Jisung had disappeared through. “No way he’s found somebody in a day. Unless…” He looked at Jeno with alarm. “Oh no. You don’t think…?”

Jeno squinted. “What?”

“What if he brings his toxic situationship to get back at Y/N?” Hyuck gasped. He then turned to you, “Look, I guess I can see if Mark’s free tonight—”

“No,” you cut him off firmly. “I’ve already got someone in mind.”

“So beautiful, baby,” Jisung murmured, taking one of your hands and kissing your knuckles.

“Hey, I’m trying to fix your tie clip,” you laughed, pulling your hand back from him to continue adjusting his tie clip that had gone askew thanks to his seatbelt.

The two of you were standing outside the venue of the office holiday party. You were fashionably late, as part of the plan. You had to make sure Hyuck and Jeno were already there, so they could see you arrive together, wearing your coordinated outfits. Jisung’s tie was of course a complimentary shade of the color of your dress—not too matchy-matchy like kids at a grade school formal, but clearly together, not accidental.

“There.” You smoothed out the lapels of his suit jacket, smiling up at him. “So handsome.”

He kissed your cheek. “Thank you.”

“Are you ready?”

“More than.” He grinned, lacing his fingers with yours.

Walking in, instrumental Christmas music was playing over the speakers and a steady hum of conversation filled the room. There were a few familiar faces near the front, but nobody you were overly friendly with. You grabbed Jisung’s shoulder for support as you went to talk to him over the din of the crowd. He hunched over slightly to listen to you better, holding you steady with a hand on your hip.

“Want to get a drink first?” You suggested.

“Sure,” he agreed, keeping his hand on your lower back as you moved through the sea of people.

There was a special cocktail for the night, ‘Mistletoe While You Work,’ which you ordered out of curiosity. Once it was in your hand, you took a sip, and you were pleasantly surprised. Not too sweet, and you couldn’t taste the liquor at all.

“Hey, baby,” you smirked, holding your glass up between yours and Jisung’s faces. “Uh-oh, we’re under mistletoe… kinda.”

Jisung laughed, and you put the glass down to watch his face crinkle up and his nose scrunch in all its adorable glory. “Mm, hard to argue with that.”

You were still smiling as you pressed your lips to his in a short but sweet kiss. He kept you close when you broke apart, an arm still wound around your waist.

“Uhm, Merry fucking Christmas to you guys, too,” Hyuck announced himself, standing off to the side, his own drink in hand and Jeno of course with him.

“Oh, hey guys,” you greeted them nonchalantly. “Merry Christmas.”

“What happened to your dates?” Jeno cut right to the chase.

You and Jisung pointed to each other, making nearly identical faces as if you were oblivious to why Jeno and Hyuck were confused.

Hyuck started buffering as he tried to process the situation. “What…?”

“We’ve been together this whole time,” you finally put them out of their misery, watching as their jaws dropped simultaneously.

“Since before I interviewed, actually,” your boyfriend added.

“Over a year, to be exact.”

“You guys are sick in the head,” Hyuck jabbed an accusatory finger at you both.

“Who was making a whole convoluted plan for me to sleep with one of our coworkers that you barely knew?” You immediately fired back. “You’re lucky we did this instead of reporting you to HR.”

Jeno quickly threw on a wide smile, clapping Jisung on the shoulder. “You fit in great here, Jisung.”

“Glad to have you on the team.” Hyuck went to hug Jisung, making him stiffen up at the unexpected affection. Your coworker then gestured to both of you, putting a hand over his chest. “You two are so adorable together. What a great couple. I’ve said that from the beginning, right, Jeno?”

“You thought they would’ve had awful chemistry.”

“Would it kill you to back me up for once?” Hyuck turned his ire on your other coworker.

Mr. Suh walked up to the bar then, putting his order in with the bartender before greeting you all. “Ah, hello, everyone. Merry Christmas.”

A chorus of hellos and Merry Christmases rang out in response.

“Was Mr. Suh in on it?” Jeno asked you.

“Whatever ‘it’ was, no, but now I wish I was,” Mr. Suh answered, clearly intrigued by this conversation.

“Y/N and Jisung are dating!” Hyuck immediately tattled, and you rolled your eyes at his childish tone.

“There’s nothing against the rules,” your boss said calmly. Then, he added with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “Especially if the relationship predates one of you working here.”

You and Jisung exchanged a surprised look, making Mr. Suh laugh.

“Okay, I had a hunch, but that was the confirmation I needed,” he chuckled. “When I’d see Jisung at Y/N’s desk alone, I don’t know—you two seemed way more comfortable around each other than two people who had only talked for the first time a week ago. No matter how much you liked each other.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hyuck gawped.

“It didn’t seem like any of my business.”

⇢ 2024 hallmark movie marathon

TAGLIST

@annenakamura @bee-the-loser @lotties-readings @ppddpjdr @reiofsuns2001

@giirlfriendd @shaqs-oatmeal @sofipolii01

@tearinka @yoursyuno @yutasputa69

@winkeuu

[barcapix]

since ur taking requests for pedri right now can u write one where reader looks after him and comforts him for having to miss the match since he’s been sick the past couple days 🤍

✮ (Heart)ache - Pedri González

pedri gonzález x fem!reader

sy: sometimes it’s hard for your boyfriend to admit he needs help, but your always there to provide him it when he needs.

a/n: my heart breaks for him i swr and he still deserves his 2022 hype + the reason i have time to write fics now is that im lEGIT bedbound.. not ideal?

warnings: noo.

seven to one. that was the score.

as pedri lay nestled in the darkness of his bedroom, the soft glow of the television illuminated his face, which bore traces of fatigue and weariness.

the jubilant cheers from barça’s victory reverberated gently in the background, but his absence from the pitch left a void in his heart.

you entered his room quietly, carrying fresh chamomile tea and his favourite steamed vegetable soup. placing it carefully on the nightstand, you climbed into bed next to him, draping the blanket around both of you.

instinctively, you brought the back of your hand to his forehead, as his temperature was gaining intensity by the minute. you sympathetically frowned, guiding his head to rest on your chest.

“hey baby, i made you something to eat,” you said, whilst combing through his untamed hair. “you actually like it this time.”

he offered a weak smile, “thanks.”

you brushed your thumb along his cheek, noticing how pale he looked. his lips were dehydrated and pasty, his eyes carrying indigo circles beneath them.

normally in times like this, he wouldn’t think twice about chewing your ear off, yapping about how his day had been and informing you on every detail he could remember. yet tonight, his silence spoke more than he ever could, which made your stomach churn with dismayment.

pedri hesitated for a moment, the words slowly forming on his tongue. “you don’t have to stay here with me you know,” he murmured, his tone laced with guilt, “you probably have things to do and i don’t wanna make you sick.”

you shook your head, exhaling softly. “pedri, im not leaving you here alone.”

he shifted uncomfortably, his voice now slightly shaky as he cleared down the lump in his throat. you could sense the overwhelming guilt he had gnawing away at him; he hated the thought of you prioritising him over yourself, but how could you not?

you couldn’t bring yourself to leave when he needed you the most, no matter what he said.

“seriously,” he began, his fingers tentatively reaching for your own, “im gross right now, and i’ve kept you here all day. all i’ve done is lay here and you shouldn’t—”

“shh cariño,” you interjected with a small laugh, tilting his chin up so he could look at you. “you speak some nonsense sometimes p, you know that?”

he blinked at you, his eyes tender but unsure.

“do you think i care about that?” you asked, a sincere grin curling at your lips. “about you being sick or not entertaining me? im doing this because i love you. and i care about you. you deserve to be looked after guapo, because your always the one looking after everyone else.”

if you weren’t completely exhausted, you could of sworn that his eyes were brimming with a certain gloss—tears.

pedri parted his lips to speak, as if to protest but you cut him off by pressing your hand against his feverish skin. “i know you hate this,” you continued. “being stuck bed-bound whilst the team is out there; i know for sure it’s eating you up.”

“…i know you’ll never admit it, but you need someone right now. so let me take care of you sí? im here for you.” you whispered at last, tinged with a softening soothingness.

for a moment, the only sound in the room was the beating of the air-con machine, and raphinha’s post match interview radiating from the tv. then, he closed his eyes like the fatigue had finally won its battle—the tension in his muscles giving way as he melted into you.

“i just don’t want to be a burden.” pedri admitted, his head dropping into the crevice of your neck.

“you could never be a burden amor,” you whispered, “not to me.”

even if he was contagious right now, that didn’t stop you from littering kisses all over his temple.

as if your words had a significant impact, he stayed silent after that final reassurance. he would never admit it, but sometimes that’s all he wanted: reassurance. his breathing rate became slower, more even, as you began to rub his back.

“i’d be so lost without you y/n,” he confessed, his words muffled by your shirt. “i don’t know what i’d do.”

a yawn escaped his lips, his grip on your waist tightening with every shooting pain in his stomach that hit him. you cradled him against you like he was the most precious thing in the world—because to you, he was.

“you’ll never have to find out,” you replied, seizing your arms around his body a little tighter. “te quiero mucho, pedri.”

“te quiero más,” he mustered up something of a sentence, clasping his hand around yours. he found solace in the tiniest things with you, which is why you couldn’t love him any less.

the ache of missing the match was dulled by the comforting warmth of your embrace.

[wonderjanga2]

Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four (here)

Chapter Four

"I can't believe you bought an apartment just to store food." Jill said as the two of you stood in the doorway to the new apartment of Sam Franzelli.

A.K.A you.

"Well, it isn't just to store food, y'know. We could use it as a secret base." You walked in, looking around. It was a small studio apartment. It was perfect. As of now, it was kinda of barren though. Maybe you could both decorate it? Buy some cool thingy-ma-bobs? Paint a wall? Have Jill possibly get some of said paint for said wall on her cheek which you could wipe off with your thumb, causing the moment to be suddenly charged with tensio—

You’re getting off topic.

Point is, you both should totally decorate the place. You’ll take Jill shopping with you later.

"You mean an evil lair?” She murmured warily. “I'm assuming we're going to be plotting murders in this place." She walked in after you.

"Jill, if you think about it too much, you're gonna get that traumatized look in your eye." You chided as you both came to a stop in front of what was actually going to store your food.

"What look?" She sounded offended.

"You know which one." You replied as she gave you that slightly traumatized look you’ve been seeing a lot lately on her face. You gave her a pat on the cheek before turning your sights on the item, missing the both flustered and bewildered look she gave you for that action. She also looked to the item that was going to be used for [Name]’s food storage.

"And you also bought an ice cream freezer to keep bodies in." She said, looking like she was imagining all the future murders and getting more and more pale with each image that popped into her mind.

"Yup. All we need now is someone evil, deserving, won't be missed, and under 18 cubic feet.” You almost rubbed your hands together like a supervillain. Good thing you aren’t.

Jill paused and slowly looked to you. “We aren’t gonna kill your dad.”

“…Not what I was going to say, but it is extremely interesting to me that that’s where your mind immediately went.”

She gave you the most suspicious look. “I have no idea how that guy even trusted us, especially you, to have this place.”

That guy, was the skeevy, balding landlord. You remembered the interview like it was yesterday. Which it was!

//Flashback//

The man rubbed his oily mustache as he looked between both you and Jill. Neither of you knew how to dress for this, so you both ended up in extremely businesslike wear.

Jill in a pantsuit. Nice.

The landlord didn’t look pleased though. Likely because he was sitting across two teenagers, which under normal circumstances, wouldn’t even be able to afford an apartment. You didn’t blame him for that, after all, it’s not like the guy would know you could actually pay for it. Or at least use your father’s money to pay for it.

“Name one reason I should even consider renting you both an apartment…” The man trailed off to look down at the paperwork in front of him. “… Mx and Ms Franzelli. Are you both siblings?”

“Married—” You started, ignoring the look Jill gave you for saying that.

The man cut you off before you could continue talking. “Is that even legal?” He asked, looking between the two of you once more.

“I’m… sure it is somewhere.” Jill said, turning her look onto the landlord. “But as for why you should consider giving us the apartment, we can pay.”

“With what money?” The greasy man asked condescendingly.

“This money.” You placed your father’s black card down onto the table. You held it under a finger.

The man glanced at it. “That’s fake.”

“No, it isn’t. We could do a type of up front payment if you’re so unsure.” Jill offered with a super serious expression that made you feel tingly.

“Fine. Five hundred dollars. Now.” The man demanded, probably thinking they couldn’t pay.

“You got one of those card paying machines?” You asked, trying to mimic Jill’s seriousness.

“Of course.” The man sneered.

//Flashback End//

It was actually a couple days later, by which point you were starving, that you finally came to the idea about who to kill.

See, the two of you were walking back to Jill’s apartment when all of a sudden, a police car pulled up and two officers got out of a car to shoot at a random man walking down the street. When the man went down, the two cops arrested him and threw him into the back of the car, probably to bleed out and die.

“Jill. I know.” You said with a little bit too wide of a grin.

“Know what?” She looked to you, definitely disturbed by said grin.

“I know who my meal’s going to be.” You sounded a little excited. You thought that was valid considering you hadn’t eaten in a couple days.

“What?” She somehow sounded both panicked and relieved.

She pulled you all the way to her apartment and all but threw you onto her couch. Hot. Wait no.

“Explain.” She had her hands on her hips as she looked down on you with eyes that very clearly demanded answers.

“Okay. So remember how we saw those cops?”

“Yeah?” She obviously didn’t know where you were going with this.

“Okay, so when I saw those cops, I thought good. Then I thought that the opposite of good was bad. Then I remembered that the people I’m gonna eat are gonna be bad people. Then I realized that most people who are bad are criminals and who arrests criminals?” You sounded like you were rambling, but you swear you had a point.

“Cops.”

“Cops! Right. And who also throws criminals into jail?” You spoke with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Also cops?”

“Right! So then I thoug—”

“How about you just tell me what your idea is?”

You frowned and then sighed dramatically. “Fine… I wanna go pay someone’s bail and then eat them.”

She looked like she was about to say something to that. “Wait… that’s actually kind of smart.”

“You sound so astounded by that.” You murmured.

“I am. And once we bail them out, we can take them here or wherever else and kill them. And when they don’t show up for their court date, we can just say they skipped town!”

“And no one’s gonna give a shit cause we’re in Gotham!”

“Yeah!” Jill also sounded a little enthusiastic as she spoke. You weren’t going to comment lest she look traumatized again.

The next day, after taking a cab to Gotham City Jail, both you and Jill stood inside of the building talking to the officer at the behind the a gate between the three of you. The man sat at a desk, typing at the computer every now and then.

“ID?” The tired looking cop held a tired hand out for it.

“Uh… well here’s the thing…” You trailed off as your eyes trailed down to his name tag. “Mr Lopez.”

The man rose a brow.

“Why don’t you just take a look yourself?” Jill sighed and slipped it to him from in between the bars’ gaps. The man looked at it.

“You’re both seventeen.” The man drawled, handing it back to Jill. “You can’t pay a bail unless you’re legal, I’m assuming you knew that?”

“Well, yes, but we’re close enough, aren’t we? Can’t you just let this one slide?” She asked, probably worried that if they couldn’t get somewhere from here, you’d end up jumping a random person.

You slid a Benjamin through the bars. “Besides, we have a little something to sweeten the deal.” You’d always wanted to say a line like that. You sounded so cool.

The officer working the counter stared at the bill for a long minute. After a while, you both thought he might snitch and call his boss. That’d be really really bad too! Bribery? On your record? No! The man eventually pulled a pen out from somewhere, probably his ass, and marked the bill. That seemed to do nothing as the pen didn’t mark it. Mr Lopez still slid the bill into his shirt pocket. “Fine.” He looked around. “Come here.” He gestured with his hand as he pressed the button for a door nearby to open. When you both stepped through, you realized you were both in the room behind the metal bars. You both approached him. He pointed to the computer.

“These are everybody with available bails to pay. You said you were looking for specific people, right? No family, friends, did something real bad?”

“Yup.” You said as you and Jill nodded a little dumbly, surprised he was actually helping.

Mr Lopez tapped the keyboard, the clacking going on for a bit before he pointed to the screen once more. “I can’t say much about friends, but these three have no family, and each committed some kind of premeditated murder. Does that count as bad enough?”

“Yes sir.” Jill said, looking between you, Mr Lopez and the computer rapidly.

“Then these are your options, I suppose.” The officer relaxed into his chair, staring at the screen as he folded his hands over his stomach.

You and Jill gave each other a look.

“Which would you say is the worst?” Jill asked hesitantly.

“Oh. Caleb Patrick all the way. He murdered four children, ages 6 to 12. A real sick fuck.” The officer spat, glaring at the screen. At least it was nice to know the man didn’t condone murder, unlike bribery.

As for this cuntstick of a murder…

“We’ll take him!” You exclaimed, clapping your hands together as you stood straight up.

This guy was perfect!

After the completing the paperwork and handing Mr Lopez a few more Benjamins, the wait for the jerkoff’s release felt like forever. It was during that wait that you told Jill to go ahead to Franzelli’s apartment to set the thing up. Y’know, the standard murder stuff? Place tarps everywhere, throw on a raincoat, block any exits besides the one you and this little kid murdering fuck are gonna enter through.

“I’m not gonna just leave you to deal with this guy alone.” She whispered to you as you both sat in some shitty chairs, waiting for the guy.

“But you have to get the place ready!” You whisper-yelled back. You didn’t want blood to stain Sam’s new floors!

It took a lot of arguing back and forth until you finally convinced her to go. Coincidentally, as soon as she left, the prick came in.

“Mr Patrick!” You stood, forcing your best, nicest smile.

“Who the fuck’re you?” The cuckhold of a man, snarled.

“I’m the one who bailed you out of jail.” Your eyes trailed down to look him over. No ankle monitor for this guy? You didn’t know whether to be happy or disappointed in that failure from the justice system. Then again, him having no ankle monitor makes this a whole lot easier.

That man seemed confused about that. “I don’t know you though. Why’re you doin’ this.”

“Well, you see Mr Patrick, me and my associate who left earlier, are apart of a reformation program!” You exclaimed, the happiness not forced anymore as you thought of all the ways you were going to eat him. “The people we work with are reformed into the best person they can be. Murder? No more murdering! Thievery? No more thieving! You get the idea. We’re going to show you to your new apartment. Come now.” You grabbed his arm and dragged the man along. “Chop! Chop! Mr Patrick!”

Getting into a cab with a kid killer was something you never thought you’d be doing. Nor did you think you’d ever be making “pleasant” conversation with the man to pass the time. You supposed it was easier to do that when you were fantasizing about eating the man’s earlobes.

The onion rings of the human body.

When you and the man finally went into Sam’s apartment complex and went into Sam’s apartment. It was nicely wrapped.

“The place is so… siranwrappy.” The shitbag muttered.

“It’s to keep the place clean of any dust.” You said, unable to stop a smile from crossing your face at the sight of Jill huddled in a corner in her rain coat waiting until her moment to pop out.

You talked more with the piece of trash until she finally spoke, causing the dickwad’s head to turn to her. With that, you immediately and quietly rushed away to put on your own raincoat.

Jill entertained him until you ran over, not bothering to be quiet anymore to jump on the man’s back and rip his throat out with your teeth.

When you were finally done with him, the two of you took to stuffing him into the freezer. When it was all over and you were now mostly covered in his blood, Jill gave you the biggest hug ever.

“I’m so glad he didn’t hurt you or something while I was gone.”

Sam’s a gender neutral name right?

Taglist: @shinning-stars @tuabuelaenvinagrexd @lettucel0ver @holderoflostmemories @cherrydaisymanic @11queensupreme11 @vanessa-boo @darktrashpoetry @nyra-42 @horror-lover-69 @chemicalwindexbottle @sadslasher13 @mintynilla @otakusimp1 @1abi @exactlynumberonekryptonite @ceramic-raven @depressed--therapist @nisarelle

[meganwritesfanfics]

How to Save a Life (Dr. Jack Abbott x Reader) Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Companion Piece: You Are My Sunshine

Word Count: 1807

Trigger Warnings: Discussion of Blood, and injuries. angst

It was a normal shift, or as normal as any shift in the Pitt could be. After a heartbreaking case, Y/N heads outside to clear her head and talk to her husband Dr. Jack Abbott. But suddenly a normal shift takes a deadly turn when Y/N is taken hostage by a disgruntled patient

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Robby yelled as he rushed to Y/N side. “Go get Langdon!” He yelled at Dana. 

“Y/N, keep your eyes on me baby. Keep looking at me. You are going to be fine, you are going to be just fine.” Jack pleaded as he scooped her up into his arms. The room was swarmed with police, most of their focus was on Driscoll’s body, but some had surrounded Robby and Abbott. “I need you all to fucking move!” Jack screamed as he pushed past them running to trauma one. 

“We will need to interview…” One of the officers said. 

“Not now.” Robby snapped as he followed after Jack. 

“We need to get people back, she is going to need…” Jack started when Langdon burst in. 

“Jesus fuck,” He gasped as he rushed to gown and glove up. 

“The bullet punctured her lung, there is no exit wound so we need to retrieve the bullet we…” Jack’s mind was realing, he was trying his hardest to stay in doctor mode to distract himself from fully spiraling. Y/N quickly reached out grasping his hand tightly. 

“I’m so sorry.” She mumbled. 

“Y/N, no you have nothing to apolgize for.” Jack’s voice cracked as he leaned over the bed, he could feel Robby and Langdon rushing around behind him. “I love you so much.” 

“Kiss me,” Y/N pleaded knowing there was a possibility this may be the last time she would kiss him. 

Jack let out a soft sob as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Y/N. The minute their lips connected, Y/N couldn’t help but remember their very first kiss. 

They had been friends long before they had even felt anything more. They worked along side each other flawlessly. It’s almost as if they could read each others mind. If Jack was going to try something on a patient, Y/N was next to him with everything he would need without him ever even saying anything. And vice versa, he would appear in the moments when she started to feel overwhelmed, and all it would take would be his whisper of “You got this.” And she was filled with confidence. 

And their friendship wasn’t just a work. He often invited her out after a shift, and they would talk for hours. Jack wasn’t one to let people in easily. He was a quiet person and he liked his quiet life. But she surprised him. She showed up and turned his world upside down. She was smart and funny, and being around him made him feel so much lighter. Y/N brought some light to his dark world.

He knew the exact moment he fell for her. It has been a normal day nothing super eventful. She was sitting down charting her latest patient and she had pulled out her glasses, ones she didn’t like people seeing her wearing, and she was heavily focus. So much so, that she had her tongue sticking out slightly. His heart swelled and he knew his feeling towards her had changed from friendship to more. But he didn’t want to ruin what they had. She was far to important to him to lose her. And he knew that he wasn’t the easiest to be in a relationship with, if his long list of exes were any indication. So he was respectful, he kept his feelings at bay. Plus he didn’t think she felt the same. 

But little did he know, she had fallen for him around the same time. Every single thing on her shift had gone wrong, not in a bad way but just little things that were annoying. She misplaced her stethoscope, her badge stopped working and everytime she needed to buzz in anywhere, she had to ask for help like a child, and she got vomited on. After changing into new scrubs she headed up to the roof, just to clear her head. She had barely stepped out when it started to rain. She groaned and reached back for the door handle when it snapped off in her hand. She froze for a moment not fully believing that it had actually happened. The small drizzle of rain quickly turned into a downpour. She tried putting the handle back, she pounded on the door hoping that someone would hear her, she even thought about trying to jump down to the other balcony that was a story down. Finally in desperation, she tried to use her badge to try to shimmy the lock open and miraculously it worked. She rushed inside and back down to the Pitt. 

“What happened to you?” Shen asked. 

Suddenly there was the sound of someone laughing. Like gutteral laughter the kind that is absolutely addictive and hard not to laugh along with. As Y/N looked up she could see Abbott bent over in laughter. Normally she would be annoyed but with Jack she found it endearing. 

“I’m glad you find this so hilarious Doctor Abbott.” Y/N sneered. 

“You really have had the worst  day.” He laughed as he walked past her. He was gone for only a second when suddenly she felt a blanket wrap around her. “Come on let’s give you dried off.” He said and her heart skipped a beat. 

They day of their first kiss had been horrible. There had been a multiple car pile up and they lost 5 patients in total. One of them was a four month old baby. At the end of it all all Y/N wanted was to curl up in a ball and stay there forever. But she also knew that Jack needed her. And she needed Jack. They are the only ones who could possibly understand the pain they were feeling. 

She knew exactly where he would be, and made her way up to the roof. 

When she got out there she found him in his usual spot, he was standing on the other edge of the railing staring down at the ground below. 

He turned slightly acknowledging her and then turned back. 

“What are you doing up here?” He asked but Y/N didn’t say anything as she made her way towards the railing. When she reached it she quickly climbed over. “Whoa, what are you doing. Y/N you are afraid of height you…” 

He went silent as he hand found his and she gave it a soft squeeze. They both just stood there taking in the world before them, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Nothing had to be said. Her head slowly lowered onto his shoulder, and he felt like he everything bad that happened that day didn’t matter, not when he had her by his side. 

“Can I kiss you.” He suddenly blurted. 

Y/N’s head lifted off his shoulder as she looked at him eyes wide. 

“I don’t know why I said that, I have never felt anything like what I feel when I’m with you. I don’t feel like I have to pretend to be someone else when I’m with you I…” 

Y/N cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss. 

When they broke apart it was Jack’s turn to look surprised. 

“You ramble when you are nervous.” Y/N smiled. “I find it very adorable.” 

Jack pulled her back in for another long kiss. 

As Jack pulled back he found that Y/N eyes were shut and she had a slight smile on her face. 

“Y/N,” He called as he shook her slightly. “Y/N baby, open your eyes.” He shook her more vigorously this time. “Baby, open your eyes.” He quickly checked for a pulse. “She doesn’t have a pulse!” He screamed as he started compressions. 

Robby moved quickly. “Langdon take over on compressions. Jack you need to back up.” 

“No, Robby I got this, get the defib ready.” Jack insisted. 

“Jack you can’t do this.” 

“Micheal please. I need to do this. I will not lose her.” 

Robby looked one more time at Jack before he sighed. “Intubate her Langdon.” 

“Come on Y/N, come on.” Jack pleaded. 

Robby worked around him as he got ready for the shock. 

“Clear,” He snapped but Jack just kept working. “Jack,” 

Jack threw his hands up and watched as Y/N’s body convulsed with the shock, but still no pulse. 

“Starting compressions again.” He called and he could feel Y/N’s ribs cracking under his pressure. “Y/N, come back to me, please, come back to me.” 

“Clear.” Robby called again, and Jack flew back, watching, waiting for the sound of the heart monitor to go but it still remained silent. 

“No,” Jack said tears streaming down his face. “No!” He screamed starting compressions again. “No, that asshole does not get to take you from me. We have a life waiting for us baby. Hell we are just getting started. Y/N please. Don’t leave me.” 

“Clear,” Robby called one more time and he hoped and prayed they could get her back. He knew Jack would be devastated, but also he knew the Pitt would never be the same without her. 

Jack never thought the sound of a heart monitor beeping would bring him such joy, but as the sound filled the room, he let out a loud sob as he brought Y/N’s hand to his mouth. 

“Oh thank god,” He breathed kissing it over and over. 

“Garcia is ready for her.” Langdon said as he hung up the phone. 

“Jack,” Robby started.

“Please let me stay with her as long as possible.” He pleaded. 

“Ok, come on, I’ll go with you.” Robby said as the two of them rolled her up into surgery. 

“Micheal, if something happens, if they can’t save her, I need you to be the one to tell me.” Jack said as the rode up in the elevator. 

“Jack I can’t I…” Robby’s voice cracked. 

“Please, if I hear it from one of those surgeon assholes I’ll lose it on them. Please.” 

“Ok, Jack I can do that. Do you want me to stay up here with you? I can call Shen, see if he can come in early?” 

“No, it’s ok, the staff is going to need you after everything that happened. Plus one of us is going to have to talk to Gloria and it cannot be me.” 

Robby chuckled slightly. And as the doors opened they found Garcia and her team waiting for them. 

“We’ve got this now.” She said giving Abbott a sad look. “We will do all we can.” 

“She’s pregnant, 8 weeks, please try to save the baby as well.” 

Garcia just nodded and Robby could see she had tears in her eyes. As they vanished, Jack crumble,d and Robby quickly pulled him into his arms and held him up as he sobbed.

tag list: @rosewritesitout, @brnesblogposts @emma8895eb

[justatypicalwizard]

Katsuki doesn't believe in love at first sight

Katsuki never believed in love at first sight. How could someone meet eyes and feel as if a thunder ruptured down from the skies and struck them? To love someone means to accept every part of them and to be able to incorporate them into your everyday life. It means building a brand new everyday with that person.

In order to do so you need to know a lot about them. Who they are, what are their plans for the future, what is their character and so on. Then you need to see if you are compatible in many spheres. You need to invite them to your friends group to see if it’ll hit off, you should try living together, they need to get to know your parents.

There are simply so many things to check off the list in order to be able to say you love someone. Otherwise it’s just empty words. I love you here and there. I love you for a week. I love you when you do as I please. Bullshit.

Mina constantly pestered Katsuki that his definition of love feels more like a chore or a job interview than like something a human would be able to accomplish. It wasn’t his fault he had some standards everyone else seemed to lack.

So even now Katsuki doesn’t like to admit that he fell in love at first sight, because it wasn’t the first time when he looked at you.

A quiet ping of his phone tore him out of his work. A new message from someone he didn’t recognise. Without much thought he opened the text.

[Hi, you may not know me but we go to the same lecture on Wednesday at 1 PM. I heard you have neat notes and wanted to ask if it wouldn’t be a problem if you send me today’s ones. I  got sick and couldn’t come and I wouldn’t want to fall behind with the material. Thanks!]

Geez, was there a longer way to type it? Couldn’t you just write: can you give me notes? On the other hand he always complained about people being douchebags.

Clicking onto your profile Katsuki saw a cheesy photo and a few posts from your daily life and vacations. Nothing much to be honest. Yet, he could vaguely remember your face around the people who entered the lecture hall. It won’t hurt to help.

[Sure]

[File attached]

Pushing his phone to the far end of his desk he went back to work. A few minutes later there was another quiet ding and this time Katsuki felt irritation bubbling inside him. It was you once again.

[Thank you so much!]

[I owe you]

[If you ever need anything feel free to write]

Whatever.

It only took a week for Katsuki to be indeed looking for help from someone. Once in a while, during his hero training, he was forced to pair up with someone in order to work on his rescue skills. Usually they’d use dummies but some fucktard in the course planning team decided that it would be most helpful if the students could train with a real human.

Normally Katsuki would ask Mina. He’d swallow his pride and force himself to listen to her babbling for two hours. Just to get it done. Unfortunately, Mina dumped him today, leaving only a [sorry, not feeling well, find someone else]. Damned flu season.

Who was he supposed to ask now, Denki?

As he scrolled down his chats, your profile pic flew by making Katsuki halt.

If you ever need anything feel free to write.

Screw it, you said it yourself, might as well find a person already and move on with his day. He typed a quick explanation and pushed the send button. The day was nearing the afternoon when you responded.

[Sure, if it’s two hours I can make it. Send me when and where I should be]

He shrugged and gave you the address for today's training.

In the early evening Katsuki found himself trotting towards his usual fighting ground absentmindedly. He was thinking about something related to work at Miruko’s when the idea flew out of his head. You were there, he could see you from afar, walking in circles in front of the main door.

Were you an idiot? It was the middle of winter and the early evening cold tore through layers of warm coats to sink into your bones. Why weren’t you entering the building to warm up a bit.

That’s why Katsuki is so stubborn about the whole love at first sight thing. It certainly wasn’t that exact moment when his heart skipped a beat because of you. You were shivering, hiding your chin and red tinted cheeks deeper into the collar of your winter coat. When you spotted him you reached out a gloved hand and waved.

“What the fuck are you doing outside, get in there or you’ll catch another cold.” He persisted, ushering you towards the entrance.

“Wow, good evening to you too.” You looked at him from under your woollen hat, surprised to get yelled at first thing you see him. Though, you did hear the upcoming pro-hero Dynamite, who went to the same lecture as you, was rather intense. “I don’t know, this place just looks fancy. Didn’t want to stand inside like a dumbass not knowing where to go.”

“So you stood outside like a dumbass not knowing where to go.”

“Exactly.”

He let you in and showed you around. After leaving your coat and getting a warm tea (his idea), you were ready to help with his training. The support students and university staff running around asked you to take off any unnecessary piece of clothing such as jewellery or sweaters that could get in the way. You gladly went through with their instructions.

You b-lined another student, a senior support course, who showed you the place where you’d be waiting to be rescued. The spacious arena was moulded into the shape of a city. Some buildings were fine, others rundown as if a villain attack rolled over them. There were paveways and roads, streetlamps and plastic trees. You even spotted a car, though it didn’t look like it could take off anytime soon. 

“It will look the same over and over. You sit or lie down in the place where I leave you and wait for your hero.” Your guide briefed the rules. “And every time pick out a different scenario and tie the band in the place that is put on it.” He handed you a dozen of ribbons with small notes attached to them. The first one you grabbed read: broken arm (tie around elbow).

“Sure.” You nodded your head and he left you on the second floor of a wannabe office building. There were a few chairs scattered around and a table that had a weird bite mark on it. You obediently wrapped the band around your arm and sat down on the floor, waiting.

You wondered how it’ll be, to get fake rescued. You were never in such a situation, always watching the villains from the comfort of your TV rather than first hand. What was Dynamite’s quirk? Suddenly you felt stupid for not knowing. On the other hand, you were never up to date with new heroes and all the popularity polls or colourful magazines. Guess you’d just have to wait and see.

Katsuki didn’t leave you for long. You were counting the pieces of shattered glass beneath your feet when a series of explosions passed beside the building. The small pieces you were meticulously adding shook and you let out a squeak when something heavy hit the wall behind you.

“Shut up, it's me.” Craning your neck, you saw Dynamite’s face, upside down, looking at you. He was halfway through the window. “What have you got?”

“God, you scared me.” You chuckled but quickly shut your mouth. The guide asked you to play the best victim you can. Victims shouldn’t laugh.

Dynamite hopped in front of you and crouched to read the note attached to your elbow. He mumbled something in the lines of fucking scenario and looked you straight in the eye.

“I’m gonna get you out of here.”

There wasn’t anything dramatic going on, it was even quiet outside save for a few shouts here and there. Yet, there was just something in a bulked man looking at you and promising you protection, one secured by his own arms. You felt like the guy from the firefighters video.

You couldn’t stop the giggle at the thought.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” Dynamite spat.

“Nothing, nothing.” You shook your hands in front of your still laughing face. “Oh shit, this one’s supposed to be broken. Okay, just save me already.” You really fought with the snicker but the cheesiness and awkwardness of the whole situation had you in a chokehold.

“Whatever.” The hero sighed, visibly annoyed, and scooped you into his hands like a sack of potatoes. “I’ll need you to wrap your legs around me. Push the broken arm into my chest and use your healthy one to hold onto me.”

You did as instructed and glued yourself to him as tight as you could. He still held you with one of his arms and just when you started to wonder how the two of you would get down from the second floor he jumped out of the window.

A scream escaped your lips but it was muffled by a loud explosion.

For the next two hours you flew through the air in Dynamite’s hands over and over again. He held you in different ways, depending on your supposed injury, but every time you landed into the safe zone, you realised you were the first or nearly the first. That guy was quick like hell.

The last scenario rolled over and it was a panic attack. You were supposed to be physically fine but otherwise unresponsive and difficult to work with due to your shock. Dynamite tried to take extra steps to calm you down, speaking about how he’ll take you to safety and how it will all be over in a second. It looked like he was having a hard time.

“I need to touch you to take you somewhere safe.” He said, wrapping one of his hands around you.

When you were both at the safe zone, with cardboard paramedics to take care of you, Dynamite did something different. Instead of leaving you in the place where the group of injured would grow, he carried you straight to the ambulance.

“She has a panic attack.” He said to the empty fake vehicle and you just couldn’t take any more of it. You erupted in a fit of laughter. Your body shook in his hands and you gripped the X on his uniform to steady yourself. “What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You tried to explain but the laughter squeezed your throat. “I’m a shitty actor.”

“I see that.” Dynamite grumbled.

“Do you really need to talk to cardboard people and empty vehicles for two hours every week?” You asked, wiping a tear from your cheek.

“Is it really that fucking funny?”

“No, no! I get it.” You finally calmed down, letting go of the front of his costume. “It’s not that funny, maybe a bit but not that much. I think I’m just in a good mood.” You shrug your shoulders. “It was fun, flying with you, like a free rollercoaster ride.” You gave him a big, big smile. A big genuine smile. A big, genuine, lovely smile, with your eyes closed and teeth out and cheeks tinted pink.

People are stupid. That’s what Katsuki thinks. It’s not love at first sight. It’s love because of a single sight.

Even though Katsuki came to some fundamental conclusions in the topic of love he would get all defensive and intense when he was asked about how the two of you met. It would sound way better if he could say the two of you met, then started to talk more, then went on a date and agreed to meet each other and so on. He just felt so stupid, so awkward and silly when he had to admit that all it took for you was a single smile to make his heart skip a beat.

The worst part? It felt a little pathetic honestly, as if people never smiled at him, but truthly they didn’t, not like that. Not like you.

Katsuki still doesn’t believe in love at first sight. Yet, every other piece of his meticulously calculated equation of love was torn down and rewritten, all of which he gladly took.

[the-blue-countess]

Primo headcanons that aren’t ‘old man doing old man things’

(I love those, but we as a fandom - bandom, I might say - need to remember how batshit he was)

- starting off simple, Primo unironically loves the Beatles (it started out as a way to piss off Nihil in the sixties, but now it’s a genuine appreciation)

- refuses to use electricity most of the time, would rather smack into walls by candlelight than embrace the clinical and frankly ugly modern lighting.

- hates humanity, especially after basically raising Secondo and Terzo while Nihil did whatever he wanted. He loves his brothers, who are a bit of a soft spot for him

- adding to this, I believe that canon cryptid Primo and loving older brother Primo can both exist - He was the best older brother, careful and loving, often acting in a manner perhaps a bit more subdued than normal. Primo embraced his more caring traits when with his brothers, ensuring their happiness as best he could regardless of his reputation. He tried to be, what he considered to be, a better version of himself for them.

- as such, when he went on tour and said all those crazy things in interviews, his brothers had to do a double take.

- this isn’t to say that, when not with his brothers, he wasn’t doing weird and creepy things. Primo often enjoyed being off putting, and occasionally does strange things to keep people on their toes.

- once they were all grown up, Primo allowed some of his more bizarre thoughts to be said out loud. Every so often, Secondo will burst into laughter at something he has said, especially at the conversational tone

- often says things and people can’t tell whether he’s joking or not. Occasionally he’ll say something outlandish, which mustn’t be true, surely, only to be proven right at a later date, so Terzo takes him at his word on principle, no matter how stupid the claim may be.

- He once claimed to be Jack the Ripper, and some children of the clergy managed to get word of it and believed him.

- makes terrible jokes, and enjoys wordplay that makes his brother sigh

- was definitely a goth during the 80s

- in addition to his marigolds and daisies, he probably grows poisonous plants too, such as belladonna and foxglove, along with Venus flytraps. As such, he has to make sure that Copia’s rats stay out of the garden

- refuses to watch Nosferatu (1922), because he feels insulted by the portrayal of the vampire, which he claims was based on him.

- no one really knows how old he is, not even Nihil, who was a teensy bit stoned the year Primo was born

- fairly eldritch, and likes to do the Michael Myers disappearing act, but only when people look away from a distance - never during conversation (unless it’s Seestor, who he allows himself to be rude to)

- has a tendency to lurk; around corners, in the shadows, in the backs of rooms

- pierced his tongue during the 70s

- like to have bitchy conversations with Chain ghoul, who he gossips with, often about macabre things. Likes to spend gloomy evenings strolling through cemeteries and judging the headstones, often mocking the inscriptions.

- on the subject of ghouls, has grown fonder of them over time, ceasing his previous disturbing behaviour, although despises Phil, who keeps popping up where he’s not wanted. They definitely help out in the garden

- there are rumours that bodies are buried in his garden beds, and that’s why his flowers are so huge. He never confirms nor denies these accusations, only commenting that he has a good fertiliser.

- after his run of Papa, he relaxed a little. He spends most of his time doing whatever he wants, mostly on a whim.

- every so often he’ll disappear, sometimes for days at a time, only to reappear later, hair full of twigs and knotted something awful, with new light in his eyes.

- nobody knows where he goes, and it’s anybody’s guess. Secondo has bet money that he’s visiting a lover, whereas Terzo thinks he likes to hang out away from people and live in the trees for a bit. Copia thinks that he has his ghouls bury him alive for some much needed rest from the world. They have no idea if they’re right or not, because Primo refuses to tell them.

- Copia once walked into the kitchen of the Ministry in the middle of the night to find Primo, after being gone for a week, sitting calmly by an open window with a chalice in his hand, jumping at the sight and almost dropping his rats,

“Holy fuck, where the shit have you been?”

“I have no idea what you speak of. I never left.”

- refuses to go out on sunny days without an umbrella. Would rather takes his walks at night and bathe in the moonlight.

- despite his paternal instincts, he cannot bake for shit, his biscuits always ending up burnt to a crisp, no matter what he tries. Eventually he gives up, and Secondo does the baking from now on

- probably sleeps in a coffin, just for laughs

- always wins at Uno, but cannot play cards to save his life. Purposely avoided playing any type of card game with his brothers because they can beat him without fail, even without knowing the rules

- claims to only watch silent films, but has a secret love of torture slasher films, as they allow him to revel in the cruelty of the human race, stoking his hatred of humanity.

- fucking adores Elizabeth Bathory, and will defend her to his dying day. Gets into arguments online about whether she was innocent or not.

- spent a week in an opium den, for no reason other than he could.

- always knew that Nihil would choose Seestor over them, and likes to haunt them both before they die.

- likes to give pep talks to the other papas before touring, especially Copia and Perpetua although his advice can vary in its usefulness, and is often oddly specific and irrelevant.

- he, Secondo and Terzo hang around the Ministry more often now that Copia is Frater, doing their best to make sure he isn’t lonely or sad.

- refuses to buy into the capitalistic machine, and makes all his own clothes, with the exception of the crimson sweaters that Secondo knitted for him.

- likes to take a lawn chair to busy intersections to watch the carnage

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕰YES ON THEM PT. 2

Manon Bannerman x fem!reader

summary: eyekons gathered evidence of bannern/n from their socials (tweets, instagram posts, tt reposts, etc.)

warnings: fluff, fake everything, over analysis, kinda a blurb

prev. next.

📌 BANNERN/N STRUGGLING TO KEEP SECRET; a thread

i. Y/N’s Instagram posts 2022 (dream academy)-2024

Liked by daniela_avanzini, meretmanon & 126,771 others

ynln nyc opening show was a dream come true <3

18th April, 2024

lararajj OMG MOMMY

meganskiendiel just one chance please?

user01 Megan ily but please get in line

user02 MEGAN YOU’RE SO REAL FOR THIS

y0on_cha3 Pretty Y/N :D

meretmanon you’re my dream come true ;)

user03 manon ain’t slick

user04 Yes support your girl ma’am

user05 Manon only opening this app to comment on

Y/N’s post is a mood

user06 @user05 girlie makes an exception

Liked by lararajj, y0on_cha3 & 11,662 others

ynln missing my tyla (iykyk), but thankful for the break

3rd December, 2022

lararajj Bring me some of your mom's cooking

emilykelavos phone me when you're back pretty

user01 omg predebut emy/n crumbs

user02 Hi Emily!!

sophia_laforteza omg send me that photo of everyone

meretmanon tyla misses you too baby

user03 THEIR PR TEAM SWEATING

user04 guys who's stalking in 2024 and just finding this

user05 I'm not fucking normal about this

user06 WHERE ARE MY BANNERN/N TRUTHERS

< NOW DELETED POST BELOW >

Liked by sophia_laforteza, meretmanon & 16,043 others

ynln grateful for this valentine's day @meretmanon

14th Janurary, 2023

meganskiendiel Didn't need this on my tl...

lararajj puked seeing this <3

ynln haters hate me cuz they aint me

lararajj if that helps you sleep at night

adelajergova At least ya'll kept it out the rooms!

user01 I just know they're sick of them

user02 ADELA YOURE OUR STRONGEST SOLDIER

meretmanon you’re my dream come true ;)

user03 You guys look great together!

user04 I always knew they were close on DA

user05 WHERE ARE THEIR MEDIA MANAGEMENT

user06 This was pre-debut so they didn’t have it yet

ii. Manon’s tiktok reposts

iii. The Katz/DA talking about Bannern/n in interviews

When Daniela and Megan were doing their section of a tiktok video for Billboard about how well they knew their members, they were asked “which of the girls’ pulls the hardest”.

“I feel like it’s a tie between Lara and Y/N realistically,” Daniela glanced over at Megan for support.

The Chinese-American hummed in agreement, “Yeah. Lara has this whole girl crush aesthetic goin’ for her and it’s definitely a big hit with a lot of fans. Y/N has a cleaner, old money vibe, so she pulls more with like people we used to meet. Like remember, back in dream academy?”

Daniela laughed, “Yeah, it was so hard tryna eat with her.”

“People would just come and ask her for her number, but she was tak—!” Megan slapped a hand over her mouth, earning a wide-eyed hiss from Daniela. The redhead laughed nervously, shaking her head to dismiss what she almost said. “She just wasn’t interested, so she’d turn down so many people.”

“So yeah, definitely Lara or Y/N pulls the hardest.”

In another interview of Sophia and Manon talking about how they balance their work and life, the Filipina shared ways she kicks back on days off to make sure she put self care first.

“Yeah, I love cooking for the girls, it relaxes me.”

Manon raised her mic, “I think we also just all go out together and hang out like normal friends, y’know. We go out to dinner, go to the movies and go shopping when we can.”

“Yeah, I remember when we first debuted, you and Y/N would go out together a lot.” Sophia mentioned without realizing.

Manon eyed the camera, nodding her head.

“Yeah, retail therapy solves everything,” Manon joked, “I do enjoy a good trip to the mall and like a long night out with all of us when we’re free. Super therapeutic.”

On Emily’s instagram live, questions about Manon and Y/N’s relationship during the survival show were asked.

“Wow, you guys are going straight to the point, huh?” she chuckled, “Y/N and I were pretty close on dream academy, but her and Manon were 100% closer. The management liked pairing them together a lot on the show cuz they looked really good together onstage, but they spent so much—and I mean, so much—time together off set.”

user01 is y/n currently dating anybody?

user02 when did you last talk to y/n?

“Y/N and I still talk a lot, but she’s really busy. She called me a couple days ago, but yeah, I really miss her.” Emily pouted, “I am not sure about her personal life, but that’s not a secret I’m in a position to share.”

The blonde’s face visibly irked, her expression changing when she spotted a comment about Y/N’s old instagram posts.

“I just know Y/N has a good thing going in her life right now. She really loves what she does and she loves all the support you guys show them.” Emily nodded, “And honestly, at the end of the day, the real fans will support Y/N through whatever.”

VIEW MORE OF THIS THREAD?

[wosospacegirl]

New kid thing - Arsenal teen!r

Summary: Y/n gets her period during her first day of training at Arsenal, and the girls make sure she is comfortable.

Warnings: Y/n has a small platonic crush on Leah, but nothing weird since she is just 17.

Word count: 2k

Masterlist here

..

Training with a new team for the first time was embarrassing enough, especially if you were a 17-year-old girl making your debut with a senior team where half the players had played in the Olympics, the World Cup, or both.

Y/n felt out of her depth—nervous and, frankly, like a child trying to fill shoes that were too big for her. She knew she had to be at least a little talented to have signed a two-year contract with the Gunners, but her nerves wouldn't let her relax. 

The team immediately noticed her nervousness and was quite good at making Y/n feel welcome. After a few pleasantries from McCabe and Kyra, Y/n even smiled a little and told the girls about her history with football, and how she got into the sport. She had a nice chat with the two Arsenal girls and felt a real connection with them, probably because they were also foreigners in the country.

“It's going to be a little weird at first,” McCabe said. “A lot of new faces, a new culture, a new way of training and playing, but don’t worry, you'll fit right in.” The Irish sat down besides Y/n and patted her on the back.

“Yeah, and if you need someone to talk to, or want to wind out and maybe go for a walk to get to know London you can call me,” Kyre smiled. “Besides, all these old women have no idea about the cool places in London, I know a few places and would be happy to take you.

“Wow, are you calling us old and lame?” McCabe argued

The two girls began to argue as Y/n laughed and giggled.

The rest of the day went smoothly, much to Y/n's surprise. She met many of the staff and was pleased to learn that Arsenal had a team of psychologists, gynecologists and even psychiatrists. Professional players know how hard it is to find a medical specialty that also understands the toll that sport can take on the body, and how some treatments work for non-footballers but don't for footballers, especially because of inadvertent doping caused by convenient medicine and all that.

The team was doing some cool-down stretches while listening to country music - it was Leah's day to choose the music played during training - and Y/n was humming along to some of the songs she knew. Suddenly the 17-year-old felt a familiar pain in her stomach. 

Fuck no, not now, Y/ n thought to herself. She couldn't be having her period right now. It was her first day on a professional team, she was wearing white shorts and everyone was there, chatting away in a semicircle, even captain Leah Williamson, who Y/n had been fangirling since she was 13-years-old.

Y/n was well aware that periods were normal, and that they happened to every single woman on the team, but she was still embarrassed about it. Would they think she was immature? Not having the fucking capacity to pack at least one pad or tampon in her training bag?

Ok, maybe she was being too hard on herself.

Y/n just needed the older girls to finish their cooldown first, so she could be the last to leave the gym.

Five minutes passed. Then 10, and then 15… All the girls were still stretching their legs and thighs. Y/n looked around, trying to come up with another escape plan as the Arsenal women seemed to be enjoying their stretching time a little too much.

“You ok, Y/n?” Leah asked, catching Y/n off guard. It wasn’t that the captain was unwelcoming or anything, but Leah hadn’t really talked to her besides the classic greetings. Y/n remembered watching an interview where Leah said she was a bit more reserved with new people, and that she needed time to warm up, so she wasn’t very bummed about that.

“Oh, yeah, very much ok… yeah!” Y/n lied, and it was a very bad lie because none of the girls believed it, they just looked at her instead.

“It’s ok to be nervous, Y/n,” Lessie said, patting Y/n’s arm. “Everyone here was new at first, except Leah who’s been here since she was a kid,” Lessie joked cheekily, looking at the captain. “I know you’ll feel more at home in no time.”

Lessie was a real sweetie, trying to make Y/n feel welcome, little did she know that the whole  new kid thing had moved way down the list of her problems today.

“Thank you, Lessie. It will get easier in the next few days.” Y/n smiled. Thank God the girls haven’t known her yet, because they would have been able to tell right away how much of a fake smile Y/n was putting on.

The 17-year-old shifted her position, stretching her arm and trying not to move too much, afraid that the blood would stainfic her kit. Well, who she was kidding, judging  by her flow it was safe to say that her bottom and the middle of her tights were a war zone right now.

She just needed to wait a few more minutes and then the players would all be gone and the girl would be able to take a shower in the changing room, then take a cap home, put a pad on, and clean her kit as if nothing happened.

Just a few more minutes and no one would know.

One by one the girls got up and went to the changing room to get ready to go home. Y/n prayed that they would take their showers at home and not in the changing room, that way they would go home faster and Y/n would be able to get the situation under control.

McCabe and Foord were the last ones to get up from the floor. “Are you coming, Y/n?” The Matilda asked, smiling.

“Yeah, right behind you,” Y/n said with fake enthusiasm.

When the two older women entered the changing room Y/n waited for a few minutes. Y/n stood up very carefully, scared to look at the floor and find a pool of her period blood, luckily the floor was spotless.

“Ok, that was close, I just need to—”

“Oh kid, I think you got your period!”

No, no, no, no.

Y/n froze.

The voice Y/n heard came from behind her back, it belonged to Leah. The young girl was mortified, Leah could very well see the stain of blood in her clothes. 

Fuck, getting your period unexpectedly was very embarrassing, but to have Leah Williamson, team captain, and lioness captain, the woman who you had a very innocent crush on (who wouldn't? come on), tell you you had  period was even worse, Y/n thought to herself, still trying to find the courage to face the captain.

Y/n felt a warm hand on her shoulder. “I’ve got some tampons if you need them, They’re in my locker, c’mon, I’ll give you some, ok?” Leah said, her voice soft now as if she knew the girl was embarrassed.

Y/n turned around, her cheeks warm with embarrassment. “I-I didn’t know I was getting my period today,” Y/n said, avoiding making eye contact with Leah. 

“It’s alright, stuff like that happens all the time, especially here,” Leah said, putting her arm around the young girl’s shoulder and leading her to the changing room. “We are a team of what? 30 women, we just learn to work around periods, and cramps and all that, that’s why we have a gynaecologist.”

Y/n remained silent, looking at the floor and wishing a double-decker bus would kill her right now.

They got into the locker room, half the girls were still in there.

Yeah, I’m definitely throwing myself in front of the first car that drives by, there is no way that this is my first day and I’m already making a fool of myself. Y/n thought as she sat in front of Leah's locker after grabbing her jacket and tying it around her waist. The others didn’t need to see the mess in her training shorts too.

The captain was very calm, whistling Sweet Carolina as she opened a toiletry bag. It looked like she was very used to these types of situations. Y/n wondered if Leah had gone through this t with any of the other girls on the team before.

“What size do you usually use?” Leah asked bluntly, clearly not trying to be subtle about it. Yeah, maybe she was a bit too comfortable with this topic. “I only have like, super plus,” Leah said, showing you a lilac packed with tampons in it.

“Hm, I normally just have regulars or smalls,” Y/n said hesitantly. “But these are ok, thank you.” They were not ok, Y/n looked at the tampons and knew they wouldn't fit comfortably.

Y/n was never a tampon girl, she always thought pads were more comfortable, she only used tampons on match days or during hard training sessions.

Y/n reached out d to take the pack of tampons from Leah’s hand, but before she could do that Leah shouted to the other side of the changing room. “Hey, Kyra, Less, have either of you got smaller tampons? Y/n needs some.”

“No! It’s alright, please, I don’t want to be a both–”

“I’ve got some,” Less said, smiling af if she was very happy to help. “Here Y/n, these are regulars, but I also have a small one too if you need it.” The blonde handed Y/n a blue box, which the young girl took.

“Thank you, you both,” Y/n said sincerely.

“Is that why you were a bit sad during the cool-down?” Less asked

“Hm, yeah, I just was - well, I am a bit embarrassed and all that, I know periods are normal and blah blah blah, but I’m just a little uncomfortable about it.” You confess, looking at Leah and Less.

“Periods are hard to talk about because people think we should be ashamed,,” Beth said Y/n hadn’t even noticed the lioness was in the changing room. “You're gonna get used to it, you are just a teen, when you grow old you’ll just realize it’s a part of you.”

Y/n smiled, feeling more at ease. Maybe she wouldn't throw herself into traffic after all” :)

“This conversation reminds me of  when I got my first period, I was so embarrassed,” Leah said, holding the bridge of her nose. “I was 14 training on the pitch with the Arsenal youth team when the head coach blew the whistle and asked very loudly if I had gotten hurt because there was blood running down my leg.”

“I just put the ball down and ran to the locker room,” Leah said laughing. “Then Maureen, the assistant coach, came down to talk to me and handed me these big pads and asked me if It was my first period.”

“Oh my first period was during the Matildas Under 15 tournament,” Kyra said. “I had just turned 14, but my mum made me carry a bag of tampons and stuff like that everywhere, so the first time it happened I just went to the toilet and told my friends about it. 

Then every girl shared some funny, and not so funny period story, which made Y/n feel calmer. 

Y/n would get along with the Gunners; she knew it.

[yuikomorii]

AYAYUI IDOL AU: Chapter 5

// I finally found the time and inspiration for this chapter! I’m not sure why, but I had the most fun writing this one so far. I think Ayato will make you laugh—at least, I hope so! I’ve already started ch.6, and from how things are shaping up, let’s just say it’s going to be... interesting. >:3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Ayato’s monologue

No, no, no… this can’t be happening!

There’s absolutely no way this girl is the same person, right? Tokyo is a massive city, full of people. What are the chances I’d run into her again? Statistically speaking, as Reiji would say, I should be in the clear!

And yet… the height, the voice— they’re similar. Way too similar. No, scratch that. It’s not just those things. It’s the mannerism too!

Ugh, this is bad. Really bad. If she recognizes me, I’m not just in trouble—I’m done for.

I can already imagine her running back to her friends, completely out of breath, being like:

"You girls will NOT believe what just happened. So, you know Ayato from SAKAMAKIS? Yeah, THE Ayato? Well, guess where I met him? At a private strip club! And he wasn’t even having a good time! The guy looked like he was about to pass out from drinking too much! I swear, I thought I was gonna have to call an ambulance. Or an exorcist. Maybe both. Hahaha!”

…And that’s how I’d end up on the news, with my career pretty much over.

Yui: Uuh… Are you alright? You’ve been spacing out a bit. Is the cut hurting you that bad?

Ayato: …!

( Okay, stay calm. I can’t let this show on my face and let her see how much this is stressing me out. )

( If I act like everything’s normal, she won’t remember me from that night. Yeah… she definitely won’t make that connection. )

Ah, yeah, no biggie. I’m just a little tired. Y’know, idols have quite messed up schedules, so it’s normal to get less than five hours of sleep.

Yui: Eh? Less than five hours? That’s…

I’m sorry to hear that. It must definitely be tough…

Ayato: I mean, sure, it sounds a bit insane, but it’s just part of the job. No worries~.

( Good, we’re having a normal conversation. Nothing’s too suspicious. )

Yui: If it helps, in case we win, you’ll have the chance to relax in the onsen!

Ayato: Heh, right!

( Now that she brought it up, spending a bit of time at an onsen sounds pretty good. A long, hot soak to just melt away the stress... mhm, that’s exactly what I need after this. )

Yui: I suppose Ayato-san doesn’t usually have time for that, no?

Ayato: Hmm… more or less. When we’re promoting in Japan, we have some hours off, so we can basically do whatever we want.

Yui: Is that so? But how do you deal with your fans then? I’m sure they would always be in your face wherever you go because they love you.

Ayato: That’s because I—

( Danger alert! If I say I go out in disguise, she might put two and two together! )

—I honestly don’t mind that. After all… I go with bodyguards! Yeah. Big, scary guys. You know, keeps the crowd at bay.

Yui: Ah, makes sense. I thought you sometimes spend time with fans too.

Ayato: ( Hah? Spend time with fans? What kind of fantasy land is she living in? Does she seriously think idols just go around hanging out with random fans like it’s some slice-of-life anime? )

( Is she really that dumb... or does she just know absolutely nothing about how being an idol actually works? )

Well… let’s just say that kind of thing isn’t exactly in the job description.

Yui: I see… However, would Ayato-san spend time with them if allowed?

Ayato: ( Tch… What’s up with this loaded question!?What am I even supposed to say— “Sure, let’s go grab boba tea sometime”? )

( This girl’s really pushing it... or maybe she’s just too lost in her own world. )

Ayato: Hmph, depends on the fan. If they’re not screaming in my face or trying to steal a lock of my hair so as to sell it for thousands later, maybe I’d consider it.

( Anyway, the hell’s this supposed to be? An interview? )

( Just focus on cooking, girl. Last time I checked, I wasn’t here for a therapy session. )

You ask a lot of questions, y’know that? Shouldn’t you be paying more attention to that pot over there before it explodes?

Yui: …! S-Sorry, I’ll fix it right now!

Ayato: ( Haa… this is gonna be a long day. )

Yui: Phew, luckily everything’s fine. Usually cooking is my strong point, but today I was careless… I apologize once again…

Ayato: Just don’t poison me and we’re good.

( Though honestly, if this keeps up, I might start envying whatever Subaru’s doing, even if it’s just sulking alone in a corner, while a girl cooks his part. )

Yui: Thank you for your understanding. You’re surprisingly really kind.

Ayato: Heh, “surprisingly”? What’s that supposed to mean? Do I look like some grumpy, unapproachable guy to you or what?

Yui: N-Not at all! It’s just that… when I think of idols, I imagine really hard-working people. I merely thought you’d all be very stressed out and not have much patience to deal with others.

Ayato: Well, you’re not totally wrong.

( She’s not as clueless as I thought. We are indeed overworked half the time and running on caffeine and pure ego the rest. )

Yeah, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. But hey, some of us still manage to be charming.

( Like me. Obviously. )

Yui: ( The truth is, based on my first impression, I thought he was cold. Everyone else kept saying he’s friendly off-stage, though. )

( But now… after he apologized and considering how our conversation’s been going, I really do believe he’s a good person too. )

I think that’s one of the reasons why fans love Ayato-san so much.

Ayato: Because I’m charming…?

Yui: Not only that. But despite your visuals and high status, you still don’t let fame get to your head. You’re able to converse with people casually, as if we were on the same level as you.

Ayato: …Huh.

( Okay, now she’s making me sound like some kind of saint. But, I guess it’s just better to give her a cheesy idol-like reply. )

Ayato: I mean, gotta stay grounded, right? Fans are the reason I even have the spotlight in the first place.

Yui: That’s true, but I also think it’s because of your talent.

Ayato: ( Talent, hm? She must’ve actually paid attention to the MVs and stages to say that. If she hadn’t, she’d most likely be commenting on my looks like most people do. )

Of course~!

( However, I admit that sometimes it’s nice to hear someone notice that instead of what’s on the surface. )

Yui: ( After all, Ayato-san is exactly how Hana-san described him. )

( Wait—! Hana-san! The autograph! How could I almost forget about that!? )

Yui: So… since the food’s almost ready, do you mind if I ask you something? Just a small favor.

Ayato: ( You‘ve been asking me countless things anyway, so it wouldn’t make any difference. )

Fine, go ahead.

( She’s looking at me with puppy eyes… this better not be something like “can you say hi to my hamster” or whatever girls ask on fan calls these days. )

Yui: Could you please sign this napkin?

— hands it to him —

I know a piece of paper would’ve made way more sense, but I just remembered that a co-worker of mine, who really admires you, couldn’t be here today…

That’s why, I was wondering if you’d be willing to give her an autograph? Her name is Hana.

Ayato: ( Well, it’s definitely not the weirdest thing I’ve signed. At least it’s not a bra this time. )

Alright. Can’t have your friend crying at work over a missed chance to meet the Great Ayato, right~?

— signs it —

Here you go.

Yui: Woah, thank you, Ayato-san! Thank you so much!

Ayato: Heh, no need to get all dramatic. It’s just a napkin.

Make sure she knows it’s a one-of-a-kind, limited edition autograph, okay? I don’t usually sign tableware.

— Yui giggles —

Ayato: Now… is the takoyaki done too?

Yui: Yup! That one was easy to make after—

Ayato: Gimme! Gimme!

Yui: Eh?

( His eyes just lit up like a kid at a festival…! Does he love takoyaki that much?)

Ayato: What? Don’t just stare! Hurry up and let me give it a taste check!

Yui: Fufu, sure thing.

— places the plate in front of him —

I think they came out a bit crunchy instead of the usual soft texture, so if they aren’t yummy, I can try to—

Ayato: Shh! No more talking. Let me enjoy this moment.

— starts eating —

…!

Yui: ( He looks… shocked? Did I really mess up that badly?)

— Ayato stops chewing —

Ayato: Okay, these… these are actually good. Like, dangerously good!

( Crunchy or not, this flavor’s legit. Did she secretly get trained by some takoyaki master in Osaka or what!? )

Seriously, have you never thought of opening your own takoyaki stand? I’d be your number one customer, no question!

— grabs another one with zero hesitation —

But no raising the price just ‘cause I’m famous, got it?

Yui: ( Wah—! He’s patting my head…! )

( Getting praised like this… it’s making my heart beat so fast for some reason. )

I-I’m glad you like them, Ayato-san! But, uhm… you shouldn’t eat them all. They’re for the contest, remember?

Ayato: Just one more~

Yui: ( Fufu, he’s acting like a child again... )

( Even got crumbs around his mouth like one, but he doesn’t seem to notice. )

— gets closer and starts wiping the crumbs off his mouth gently —

Ayato: …?

( What the hell is she doing? )

Oi, what’s up? Are you cleaning me up like some kind of child?

Yui: ( Oh no! I think he’s mad! )

S-Sorry!

— tries to move away quickly —

Ayato: Haa…

— grabs her arm and pulls her back —

I didn’t say it bothered me, did I?

Go on. If you're going to do it, you might as well finish.

Yui: ( He doesn’t mind it at all…? To think that an idol such as himself would let an ordinary person touch him like that… )

( But now that I’m so close… I can see how small his truly face is. It’s almost like it could fit right in my hand, even if he’s a boy… )

— suddenly touches his cheek—

Ayato: ( I don’t feel any crumbs there though. )

Yui: ( His skin is so smooth... way softer than I imagined. His entire face is so delicate too, almost unreal. )

Ayato: Are you done checking me out now? Or should I start charging you for the VIP experience, since you’re getting a bit too personal with me?

— chuckles —

Yui: ( W-Wait! What on earth am I doing!? )

I-I wasn’t checking you out! I was just... trying to clean your cheek! That’s all!

— pulls her hand away —

I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to cross your boundaries!

Ayato: Relax, relax. It’s not like you’re the first one to stare. But… you’re still the first one to get this close without permission~

Yui: ( Uhh... this is so embarrassing! What even got into me!? )

( To make matters worse, there’s something about his words that’s making my heart race even faster than before...! )

( I wonder if he can hear it, the way it’s pounding... )

Ayato: You know...—

*Knock Knock*

Chief: Excuse me, but we’ve got a problem!

[tevanbuckley]

some low points from the ry*an g*zman interview because i need you all to feel my pain.

when talking about his celibacy (yes he uses that word): "I haven't entertained any interactions with any other females" — gave me the ick 0/10

uses the phrase "a woman's touch," to explain why women are inherently good at interior decorating(?) and that this skill is how women are able to enrich a successful man's life — side note: at no point do they talk about how men enrich women’s lives.

immediately after this the religious imagery takes a left turn and exits my frame of reference, bc instead of just asking "do you think you still have things to work on?" like a normal person, the host says "I want to know what one Thorn is in your flesh." — someone raised more religious than i was needs to chime in on if this is normal christian doctrine or a sign he might be in a cult. (is it a reference to the thorns in jesus' crown?)

ryan makes a weird comment about how "you've seen civilizations built on [a man in love]" — genuinely idk what the fuck this means — but it leads into a tangent about like, men as providers and how "I would do anything for my women."

"peace is key yeah we got enough problems in the world outside the house and so long as I come back to the house and I get peace," — maybe i'm being pedantic but the way he keeps framing woman as belonging in the home is 🚩🚩🚩🚩

"for the next woman I would have in my life I can see that they navigate their their problems and still offer peace to their men." — again 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

surprisingly claims he has been to therapy, which assuming is true, idk it worked.

the host: "women may be fighting internal battles you know kind of themselves do you believe that a woman still fighting those battles are able to still bring peace" — because remember ladies, no matter what you're going through your job is to bring peace to your man's home.

there's some more brief gender essentialist bs where ryan talks about how men "like to fix things," but are bad listeners, and how "problems within women are so specific to women that I wouldn't even try and and say that I have a grasp on them."

then the host randomly asks him if he thinks men need to be financially stable before entering a relationship or if dating a broke guy is a way to "present loyalty."

weirdly ryan actually kind of dodges this question, but ends up suggesting social media is a good place to get "great examples of what does and what doesn't seem to work." in relationships — and no. no it isn't.

oh and then he starts talking about conor mcgregor for some reason? and how it's bad he disrespected his wife by stepping outside their marriage — and i mean sure, although infidelity feels second to the rape accusations??

says it's harder for a woman to come into a man's life when he's already established because "now the man has proven to himself that he never needed a woman." — which, interesting given how later he talks about how women need to stop trying to do the independent woman thing.

he also gets weirdly possessive over his daughter at one point. does the classic "God forbid I find out that man disrespects my little baby." — idk, on the surface he talks about how he wants her to know her value, but it seems like he has a pretty limited view of what that value is.

the host drops lore about how she moved out of her parents house at 14/15 and how she had to "stop thinking like a woman and start thinking also like a man," but stay feminine and "know what a man wants and how to cater to that but also still be soft." — i mean good lord, i don't even know where to start 🤢.

this btw is the preamble to ryan's rant about "independent women."

and god the more i read the more i am deeply concerned about the woman hosting (i saw someone earlier say she's 21). this woman is barely an adult and has so much internalised misogyny, talking about how "us women don't know how to direct our emotions." and "in today's generation a lot of men are deprived of even the small things because a lot of women are takers."

this whole interview is utterly bizarre and i feel like it's taken years off my life. like i said earlier, this isn't a normal podcast he got weird on, this is straight up christian propaganda

[girlkisser13]

helping bruce wayne relieve some stress

pairings: bruce wayne x secretary fem!reader

warnings/tags: smut (18+), handjob, oral sex (m receiving), cum eating, power dynamics.

divider by @iwonbin

"hello, y/n," bruce says as you quickly enter his office, aware that you're a few minutes late.

"hi, bossman." you say, smiling wide as you enter. you place his iced coffee down on a coaster at his desk.

"thanks for deciding to show up." he groans, pushing himself away from his laptop, needing a break from staring at the screen.

"i’m only like five minutes late." you pout. "it's just because your coffee was taking a long time and—"

"no, i don't care about that." bruce shook his head quickly. the second he saw you in the lobby, among the line of people waiting to be interviewed for being his secretary, he knew you'd be chosen.

you were wearing a tight pink shirt that showed off your cleavage and a skirt that was clearly bought just for the interview.

"oh, okay." all the negative emotions you were feeling disappeared as you shrugged.

"but i do need you for something. come here." bruce beckons you over and you move quickly to the other side of the desk.

"what is it you need?" you ask, quirking your head to the side.

"i need you to help me relief some stress." he grunts, adjusting the front of his pants from where he's painfully pressing against the zipper.

"okay, like a massage?" you question. you're not sure what the normal functions of a secretary to a ceo entails, but for how much you're getting paid, you're willing to do pretty much anything.

"yes, a massage." bruce nods enthusiastically. "exactly. and i have one place that really needs to be massaged."

"okay…" you nod, figuring it's his shoulders or his back. instead, bruce tugs at his zipper and pulls his painfully hard cock out.

"oh my god!" you squeal, covering your face quickly, palms smacking against your cheeks.

"no, no." he says calmly. "this is a part of the job."

"i... are you sure?"

"yes. now come give me a massage so i can get back to work."

"okay..." you take a better look at his dick, hard and long, it was huge. you grab your desk chair from the corner of the room and drag it towards him.

you sit down next to him, glancing again between his eyes and his exposed cock. bruce gives you an encouraging nod, and there's no way your boss would lie to you, right?

your hand reaches out to grasp his cock, swallowing thickly to ignore the urge to wrap your lips around it as you begin to stroke him.

"is that good?" you question.

"yeah, so good, just keep going." bruce relaxes into his chair, plush and comfortable for the long hours he spends in the office, always arriving before you and leaving long after you've called it quits for the day.

you reach your other hand forward as well, working his length with both hands. you tug your lower lip between your teeth, focusing on his pleasure as you jack him off.

bruce keeps mostly quiet. however, you notice a slight increase in the noise of his exhales, but not quite yet a sigh. you leave one hand moving up and down his length and bring the other to the head of his cock, moving in teasing swirls before swiping the pad of your thumb right over his tip.

"oh, that's good." he mutters, his eyes blinking hard to stay open, wanting to remember exactly what it's like to have you leaning forward, tits almost spilling out as your hands work on his cock.

"anything for you boss." you smile. you do love working for him. being his secretary is mostly just dealing with his schedule.

"you’re really good at massages." he smirks.

"thanks." you feel your cheeks blush, face heating. it's hard to get a compliment out of bruce. the nicest thing you think he's ever done is when you caught him staring at your ass as you walked away.

"keep doing that." he says when you cup your hand over the head of his cock, rubbing your palm against his leaky tip.

"okay." you hum again. your other hand keeps stroking over his length, squeezing just enough to have his lower jaw dropping in pleasure.

you both jump when the phone begins to ring. bruce reaches over to quickly end the call until he sees who it is.

"stop, it's tokyo," bruce whispers as your hands continue to move. even though you stay out of the business side, you know how significant the company's japanese partners are.

"answer it!" you squeal, your hands continuing their movement.

bruce know he can't keep them waiting so he quickly accepts the call, trying to fix his voice while you stare at him, still stroking almost absentmindedly up and down his cock.

he answers questions from representative as you drop one hand down to fondle his balls, squeezing your hand into the opening in his pants to touch them.

bruce pulls the phone away from his mouth as he lets out a quiet curse, eyes pleading for you to stop, but you can't make yourself, and bruce certainly won't push your hands away when he's longed to have them on him for so long.

his voice is shaky as he answers their questions, his cock pulsing in your hand, tip turning pink as you realize what is about to happen.

you look around for something to catch his cum with as his cock pulses in your hand but you come up with nothing, so you drop your head and wrap your mouth around the head of his cock just as he begins to cum, sucking gently to empty him as you obediently swallow.

your hands fall away as you look up at him, lips locked around his cock. you give one final suck that has him gasping before covering it up with a cough before you pull off of him with a pop.

"shit." he groans as the call finally ends.

"is your stress relieved now?" you ask, somehow still looking the perfect mix of sexy and innocent even though your lipstick was smeared from his cock.

"yes." he nods. "and next time i want a massage with your mouth."

[nkogneatho]

you would be lying if you said you weren't intimidated to meet the gojo clan head but you needed the money and babysitting his grandkids was the only job offer you had managed to land. you'd heard about him a lot. clan head yuuta was old enough to be your granfather. of course you were scared and just wanted to get over with this interview without having the urge to kill the man in front of you. old geezers are scary. and they are annoying, ugly—oh

oh.

but yuuta wasn't. he was scary, sure. the first thing that caught your eye was the dark eyebags. on anyone else, it would look ugly but on him? it had you bewitched.

"please have a sit." fuuuuuuck. he was so soft spoken even if he had some ruggedness to his voice. contrary to the old geezers you've dealt with. you don't speak, just nod and take a seat on the zabuton opposite to him. "was it hard to find the place?"

"uhm...no. you have the whole estate so..." you say meekly. he chuckles. it's low but it's endearing.

"i see. well, as my assistant told you on the phone, wife's not in the picture. i lost my son and daughter-in-law to the missions, leaving my two grandkids behind—"

"i am so sorry for your loss," you interrupt, sympathizing with him. although you've heard it on the phone before, hearing him say it hurts. you cannot imagine what he's going through. he shoots a warm smile your way, accepting your condolences.

"although i do know how to raise kids, think i've lost my touch after all these years. plus the clan head responsibilities take too much time off my day. i need someone to not only look after them but make them feel like they have a normal childhood just like everyone else."

"i understand. losing parents at such an early age, when they can't even form proper sentence, is cruel." yuuta has a hint that whatever you just said might have been coming from a place of personal experience but he chooses not to bring it up. the atmosphere is suddenly very gloomy so he decides to change the subject.

"anyways. as you know, i am an old man now. it's hard to remember things or do things on my own so you're basically babysitting me too." he knows it's lame. but he watches your expression. you're clearly flushed. of course, i am. have you ever seen a mirror?

"yes, sir." fuck. fuckfuckfuck. his cock stirred at the way you cooed that sir. he knows he should tell you that he is comfortable enough if you call him by his name but now that he's heard call you that? no way in hell he is going to correct you.

his cock kept twitching the whole interview. he knew he had to keep you. yes you had the right skils for the job but he's also willing to see what else you can do. how far can he push you.

yuuta gave you a warm smile, walking you to the exit, his yukata thankfully hiding his boner.

"congratulations. see you next week, sweetest."

[hughiecampbelle]

Thunderbolts Preference: Being The Youngest Teammate

A/N: *Comes back to life after watching a new MCU movie pretending that everything is fine and I did not disappear and that I'm not the worst writer, but maybe second or third worst, when really I am deeply so very sorry for leaving, again* Enjoy my loves! Thunderbolts requests are open, I'm making a big post asap! 🖤

Bucky is used to being the oldest person in every room, but you age him another thirty, if not forty years. You're experienced, and methodical, and you do things like he would have, like he has, and it makes him queasy. When he sees just how young your face is, he regrets trying to blow up the limousine. None of them know who you are and they all definitely talk about you behind your back: who is this kid? Where did they come from? Should we let them go? As the mission continues, they're all hit with the reality that Valentina wanted to hire you for a reason. That you weren't just lucky in aim or thoughtful about how to kill, you were one of the most skilled they had ever seen. Bucky tries to take you under his wing a little. Not as fatherly as Alexei tries to be, but he does want you to know you've got someone in your corner with such a scrappy set of teammates. He confides in you about being the Winter Soldier and, in return, you share bite size pieces about your past. Your childhood spent learning to kill, to become an expert in the craft. All those years you spent along, in dangerous places, with some sort of faceless boss ordering you around. He knows you have a dark side, you all do, but you were so eager to step across the void. He doesn't want you to think that's an option when you really do have so much to live for.

Alexei immediately sees you as his child, or at least part of his responsibility. Because they only know bits and pieces of your past, Alexei assumes (rightfully so) that you missed out on normal young adult things like a first date and prom and graduating from a traditional school. Though those things can get to you, you put up a front that you'd rather be killing world leaders and cleaning up Valentina's messes. Still, he catches you doing things a younger version of yourself couldn't do, like watching cartoons on the weekends with a bowl of extremely sugary cereal or sleeping in until past noon when you know you all have somewhere to be, becoming a gremlin to wake up in the morning. Because he sees you as so small, he is jarred when reality hits that you can out drink almost all of them or that the shame room you had was you as a very young child being trained to kill. he asks if there are any normal memories of a family, siblings, of soccer games or stuffed animals, but you can't remember anything. He takes it up on himself to protect you, or at least thinking he can, when in reality you're the one saving his ass. because he lost so much with his daughters, he tries to do better by you, whether you like it or not.

Yelena and you actually become pretty close. You remind her of herself, of Tasha, and she can't help but gravitate towards you. Similar to Ava, she doesn't want to be seen as a paternal figure. You have enough of those with this team, you don't need someone else lecturing you about swearing when that's the least of your worries. You speak Russian together, along with Alexei, when you want to talk shit about the others in front of them, teaching Bob at the same time so he can be in on all the jokes. When you shut down, disappearing for hours on end, unreachable, she isn't met with worry or hostility. She knows, like a stray, you'll always come back, you just need your space. Yelena pays more attention to the little things than the others do, like when she surprises you with something sweet, a muffin or a scone and a coffee, you prefer fruits to something sweeter. Or, when you wander between 1am and 4am, she can find you re-watching old interviews and documentaries of your teammates. Part of it is gaining information, sizing them up, but mostly you just like knowing things about people. She'll sit beside you and watch, every so often watching you like she used to watch her sister.

Ava, unlike the rest of the team, doesn't see you as being so much younger than them. You're young, yes, and your baby face doesn't help, but she's not going to talk down to you or pretend you need a paternal figure when you've clearly been handling yourself well. Maybe behind closed doors or with the rest of the group, she'll be caught off guard when you make a reference to just how young you were or make a joke that doesn't sit well with her, she'd never do any of that to your face. You have just as much a right to be in this team as any of them. She adores how much you and John don't get along, which makes your bond stronger. Things aren't always sunshine and rainbows: not with any of them, but especially not you. You go days without sleeping after a night of nightmares and you lash out, trying to push everyone away because you're too damaged. Bob is the one you go to when you're feeling low, really low, but she hopes one day she'd have the honor of being confided in. You were all kids once. Some of you were relatively normal, but most of you were not. She's not going to act like because you're younger, you must want normalcy. None of you know what that's really like and she doesn't believe it's right to push that on you.

John does not like you. When you met, he thought you were some scrappy kid who snuck in and got yourself in a bad situation. That you had no idea the real danger you were in and that he had to save your ass from getting killed by Yelena, Ava, Bob, or Antonia. He tells you to get behind him and his shield and when you start a fight, he can't believe what he's hearing. Once you got to know one another, you liked him even less. He calls you Baby Assassin and questions how many kills you have given your age. You roll your eyes, eventually going into detail of some of your worst, and most famous, kills. It makes him sick thinking you were nine, ten, eleven years old doing those sorts of things. John likes to get in your face about things and you have no trouble bringing up that his wife left him, something the others might cringe at knowing how much it must hurt. You don't care. You will not be patronized by him. You're told to keep your distance and when you do unfortunately have to interact, you stick to commands without name calling. You still laugh at the fact that Bob made his shield into a taco, something that wasn't funny in the moment, but now can bring you to tears. John thinks, foolishly, because of your younger age, that you're inexperienced and impulsive, but you know that could not be further from the truth.

Bob doesn't see you as being so much younger, mostly because you're closer in age vs. 100+ year old Bucky. It does, secretly, make him feel sick that you were so eager to step into the void. That, like Yelena, you were forced to relive some of your worst and shameful memories. But, like always, you brush it off like it's nothing, like you don't really have feelings. Bob quickly becomes a confidant. You never knew anyone who felt the way you did, so low it scared you to be alone with yourself. You guys spend a lot of quiet time together. He's sure, though he'd never say, he knows the most about you, your history. You don't know why it comes out, why you say it, but he's never judged anything you've had to say. He doesn't mind when you sleep in past noon or lose important things like a gun or a grenade. He doesn't mind when you want the windows down in the car or the music you play that everyone else can't stand. He has a lot of patience with you because no one had the patience for him. It's the least he can do. You're methodical and always planning for the worst: what is everyone leaves you? What if they're all killed? Etc. If he can offer whatever comfort he will. You're not just a teammate, you're a friend.