#i played for a few days in like September and couldn't continue

[kirbyddd]

i think it's getting to be time

[vettelsvee]

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | requests or let's talk!

sebastian vettel x platonic!photographer!reader

based on this request: Okay! So after watching the run Sebastian organized at Imola, I has the idea of reader being someone that works for him (not sure what for though) maybe getting really sick for running in the rain that day, which ends up with Sebastian feeling guilty over it. It’s a silly idea, really, but I think it has a lot of potential to vibes similar to what Sebastian seems to have with the drivers, kind of playing dad to the grid 🥺.

summary: you work as a photographer during the forever senna tribute seb prepared, but you end up being sick

word count: 1618

warnings: none of them really! seb feeling guilty because he thinks reader got sick because of him.

a/n: I'm finally back! sorry for not posting at all during all this past month, university has had me really stressed but I'm finally free from it until september! idk if this is actually something well written because i haven't written anything for a month! also, hope you anon like this even it's definitely crap 😭

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

The rain kept falling on the circuit, but that wasn't such an excuse for Sebastian and his team to cancel what they had been working on for months.

The run that the retired driver had decided to organize on Thursday not only with Formula 1 drivers, but also with those from Formula 2 and 3, and even other members of the sport, in honor of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger, was more than perfect. It was an absolute success. And Sunday, when Vettel would drive the car that once belonged to the Brazilian pilot who died 30 years ago on that same circuit, hadn't even arrived yet.

You had been busy taking photos of everything, as you were Sebastian's official photographer. Now, you were gathering all the equipment you had used because the cold you were enduring was barely bearable. You had been out in the rain all day, following Seb wherever he went, which had made you feel increasingly worse. Now, your hands couldn't stop shaking, and you felt like you were about to faint at any moment.

"Y/N, are you okay?" one of the team members asked.

"Yes, of course," you replied with a weak smile. "I'm just a bit cold. I'll be back to be the same me as soon as we get back to the hotel."

The man nodded, not wanting to press you further despite not being very convinced by your words after seeing your completely pale face.

You decided to continue with your work, ignoring anyone who approached you to exchange even the slightest word. You tried to ignore the growing headache, the fatigue, and the tightness in your chest, which seemed to be worsening. Although the rain had stopped and you were in one of the garages, the sky remained dark.

You were surprised to see Sebastian, still wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, just a few meters away from you. You shook your head, trying not to pay attention, and certainly not to worry. He was just your "boss," so to speak, and he was old enough to know what he needed to do to avoid getting sick. Well, he also had Britta, who was like a second mother to him.

A sharp pain pierced your temples. You staggered slightly, and if it hadn't been for your momentum making you lean your back against the wall behind you, you would have fallen to the ground.

"For God's sake, Y/N, you look terrible," he said as calmly as he could, though you could sense his nerves in his tone of voice. "You should go and have a rest. Like… now."

"Seb, we still have a lot to do. It's not just packing up the equipment, but also transferring the photos to the computer, editing them, then preparing the posts for you Instagram account..."

"Y/N, I love your work, but you've done more than enough for today," he interrupted, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers carefully over it. "Now, I'll talk to Britta and we'll assign it to someone who knows what they're doing, okay?"

For a moment, you considered protesting, reproaching him that this was your job, and that's why he wanted you on his team since shortly before leaving Aston Martin, but the way he looked at you made you stop. He seemed worried, very worried. That's why you ended up not only reluctantly accepting but also letting him guide you to a nearby chair.

"Stay here. I'll bring you something warm."

As you watched Seb walk away, you sighed, managing to relax somehow. You saw him enter the Red Bull hospitality, and you assumed it was where he felt most comfortable. A few minutes later, you saw the blonde with two small steaming cardboard cups. As he reached your height, he offered you one of them.

"Thank you," you murmured, wrapping your hands around the cup and taking a sip. Chocolate, something you loved, and Seb knew it perfectly.

"Do you promise you'll go back to the hotel as soon as you finish your hot chocolate?"

"I promise," you assured him. "But I can't promise that..."

"Y/N, just no work for today," he cut in, seeing that you weren't going to fulfill what you had promised. "I want you to spend today and tomorrow resting. Sunday will be a tough day for us. You can do it, at least for me, or am I wrong?"

You nodded your head as if you were seven years old again. You knew you were going to rest as much as you could in your hotel room, but that didn't mean you weren't going to do anything. As you had already planned, you were obviously going to continue with your work. You couldn't disappoint Sebastian, not on such an important weekend like this.

[...]

Sebastian accompanied you to the door of your room, and despite having exchanged a couple of messages with you on Friday, having let you rest all afternoon and part of Saturday morning, and having agreed that you would come to a meeting room in the hotel at 12pm on Saturday to finalize the details of tomorrow's tribute, he didn't see you there.

"Have you seen Y/N?" he asked Britta directly, a little distressed. "She told me she would come with no doubt."

"And she did come," the ex-pilot's PR commented, "but I sent her back to her room as soon as I saw her shivering. Her forehead was burning, and she said she had a slight fever. It wasn’t just a slight fever, Seb," Britta assured him.

The man nodded but became even more worried. Quickly bidding farewell to Roeske, he headed towards your room. He saw the door slightly ajar, possibly your mistake. He knocked softly before entering, and the sight that greeted his eyes made him feel bad instantly.

You were curled up in bed, trembling uncontrollably. You had a small towel on your forehead with cold water to see if you could control your body temperature since you couldn't take your medicine again until the corresponding hours had passed, which was already the next day.

Your face was completely flushed, and your breathing was labored.

As soon as you realized Seb's presence, your eyes welled up with tears. You tried to force a smile, but all that came out were tears from how bad you felt not only for Seb to see you like this but also for ruining something so important.

"Seb... You didn't have to come," you stammered, your voice barely audible.

"Of course, I did! Don't be ridiculous!" he responded quickly, sitting beside you. He placed a hand on your forehead and realized Britta was right. "My God, Y/N, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling so bad?"

"I... didn't want to worry you," you admitted between tears of frustration and exhaustion. "Tomorrow is an important day. You need to be resting to give your best tomorrow. There are people who have come just for you, Seb, you can't let them down."

You noticed him tense a bit at the mention. His lips curved, and his jaw tightened. He took a deep breath and took your hand almost without thinking.

"This is my fault..." he whispered softly. He seemed overwhelmed with guilt, and much of it. You cursed yourself for making him think that when it was all really your fault. "Nothing is more important than your health, Y/N. I'm so sorry, really..."

"Seb, it's okay, really. These things happen; it's completely normal. There's probably someone else like me..."

His silence was the response you partly expected, but it didn't hurt until you saw him shake his head.

"I just wanted to give my best so that the photos would turn out perfect and you would have content worthy of all the work you've put into this..." was all you could say.

"You're already the best, Y/N," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "In fact, you're so perfect that you should stop being so perfect to start worrying more about yourself. And since you don't worry about yourself... let me do it for you, okay?"

Although you didn't agree with him and didn't believe you deserved his praise, you were too weak to argue.

Sebastian stayed with you all day, including the night. He made sure you were as comfortable as possible, brought you water, and soaked the cold cloth in water to lower your fever as soon as possible, miraculously something that worked. He didn't leave your side, not even when you had a coughing fit or sneezed without covering your mouth.

Your fever began to lower in the late hours of that day. Your breath calmed down, and the color seemed to return to your cheeks. Seb sighed with relief, quickly hugging you while continuously placing small kisses on your face and playing with your hair, making you laugh incessantly.

After ordering room service for dinner, since your appetite seemed to have returned, you fell asleep, at least apparently. To avoid disturbing you, Seb went from lying down next to you to reclining on a sofa next to the bed. His eyes were heavy with tiredness, but that didn't stop him from staying alert in case you needed his help.

"Rest, Y/N," he whispered, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before caressing it. "I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner for the damages I caused."

You smiled at the last thing Seb had said, grateful that every time you got sick, you didn't fall into a deep sleep, and wishing that what Seb had said was true.

[valkyriex]

"Always with you"

PAIRING: Jill Valentine x fem!reader

WARNINGS: Fluff and angst

WORD COUNT: 1.5K+

DESCRIPTION: After leaving Raccoon City for work, you receive shocking news from Jill Valentine after days of silence, urging you to meet her.

AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first time writing fanfiction, I hope its good

September 26th, 1998, twilight. You were driving your car through the almost empty highway, raindrops hitting the windshield in a steady, hypnotic rhythm. The wipers struggled, barely keeping up with the heavy rain, each swipe leaving streaks of water that blurred your vision. They squeaked slightly, their worn-out rubber scraping against the glass, making it clear that they hadn't been replaced in a long time. "I really have to replace them," you murmured to yourself, the thought lingering in your mind.

Inside the car, the smell of stale coffee hung in the air, mingling with the faint scent of wet fabric from the umbrella tossed carelessly onto the passenger seat. The dashboard lights glowed a dull orange, casting a warm hue on your hands gripping the steering wheel. The soft hum of the engine was accompanied by the sound of music quietly playing through the radio—your favorite cassette, the one your girlfriend, Jill, made for you. Each song felt like she was there with you. Her presence somehow visible in the song's lyrics.

As you drove, your thoughts drifted back to why you were even on this lonely road. You had been forced to leave Raccoon City for a job that felt more like a necessity than a choice. It wasnt very far: an hour-long drive, and the offer to move for a work project was something you couldn't refuse. Your heart was heavy with worry for Jill. Ever since her last mission in the Arklay Mountains, she had been plagued by nightmares that haunted her every night. You felt like you were the only one who could comfort her—and it was true.

In just a few days, you both were supposed to leave Raccoon City and take a flight to Europe. Jill was determined to join her friend, Chris Redfield, and continue her search for evidence to take down Umbrella once and for all. While you knew you couldn’t help her with the mission, she needed your presence, your touch, and your reassuring words—and you needed hers just as much.

Few days after that, the radios and news were ablaze with reports of a strange pandemic. You and Jill had seen enough to know that the media often twisted the truth, which only deepened your worry for her. After everything she’d told you about the horrors of the Spencer Mansion, you feared that what was happening was far worse than a pandemic—so much worse. And you were right. Days turned into a blur as you tried to contact Jill, but each attempt was met with silence. You couldn’t even focus on your job anymore, consumed by anxiety.

Finally, at the beginning of October, she called. Raccoon City had been nuked, and she needed to tell you everything that had happened—but only if you came to her. She was staying in an old hotel not far from where you were, and without a second thought, you jumped into your car and drove there immediately. As you pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of the hotel, a mix of relief and anxiety washed over you. You were finally going to see her again. The building was tall, its brick exterior a mix of worn patches and faded paint, but it still exuded a certain charm. The sign above the entrance, though a bit weathered, glowed softly in the evening light, inviting weary travelers inside. As you stepped into the lobby, the air was filled with the faint scent of old wood and cleaning supplies. The reception desk, manned by a friendly clerk, stood proudly in the center, while mismatched furniture created a cozy, if slightly dated, atmosphere. Soft music played in the background, and the walls were adorned with photographs and knick-knacks that added character to the space.

"Room 128," she told you. You made your way there and knocked, the sound of your fingers hitting the door echoing through the quiet corridor. When Jill opened it, you immediately wrapped your arms around her, and she clung to you just as tightly, seeking comfort in your embrace.

“Jill, I was so worried about you. The media was saying—” you started, but she silenced you with a kiss, soft yet desperate, as if to convey all her unspoken fears. As you pulled away, you looked into her eyes—the same ones you fell in love with the first time you gazed into them. But now, they seemed heavy with sorrow. You could feel her pain radiating from her, and it made your heart ache. You were ready to listen to her every word.

“Let’s go out to the balcony,” she suggested. As you stepped outside, a cool breeze enveloped you, ruffling Jill’s hair and filling your lungs with the crisp night air. You leaned against the railing, taking in the breathtaking view of the forest silhouetted against the setting sun, the vibrant colors fading into shades of twilight. The beauty of the moment was almost surreal, a stark contrast to the turmoil in your hearts.

Jill took a deep breath, her voice trembling as she spoke. “This... thing... it’s been hunting me, and I’ve lost so many people.” She paused, her gaze falling to the ground before meeting your eyes again. Her hand reached yours. “But at least... you’re here.” Her hand felt cold in yours, and you squeezed it tightly, wanting to share your warmth with her. “Always, Jill. Always for you,” you promised, your voice steady but filled with emotion.

“I just want to end Umbrella, you know? So no one will ever have to live through that nightmare again.” She looked at you, her vulnerability shining through. You settled next to her, resting your head on her shoulder, feeling the weight of her burden. “So… you’re joining Redfield in Europe?” you asked softly, and she nodded, a mix of determination and weariness in her expression.

As she recounted everything that had happened in Raccoon City, the weight of her words hung in the air. You could see the exhaustion etched into her features, the toll that the last weeks had taken on her. After the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in deep hues of indigo, both of you eventually retreated inside, curling up together in the bed.

“Whatever you decide, I’m with you,” you whispered gently, wanting her to know she wasn’t alone in this fight. A soft smile spread across her face. “I know,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, before taking your hand and placing a tender kiss on it. As she drifted into sleep, you watched her calm features, finally at peace for the first time in a long while. Feeling the weight of the moment settle around you, your own eyes grew heavy, and you surrendered to sleep beside her, comforted by the connection you shared.

But a few hours later, you felt Jill stir beside you, her breathing uneven as she woke from a troubled dream. You turned to her, immediately sensing her distress. “Jill, hey, it’s okay. I’m here,” you murmured, reaching out to gently stroke her hair, grounding her in the moment.

She blinked slowly, her gaze finding yours, and for a moment, you could see the remnants of her nightmares flickering behind her eyes. “I… I’m sorry I woke you,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

“Don’t be. You don’t have to apologize for anything. Just tell me what you need,” you said, pulling her closer, wanting to shield her from the darkness that lingered.

With a shaky breath, she started to share the fragments of her nightmare, but as the shadows of fear loomed, you gently shifted the conversation. “Remember that time we got caught in the rain on our way back from that movie? You were so mad at me for forgetting the umbrella, but we ended up laughing so hard when we arrived soaked to the bone?”

A small smile broke through Jill’s anxious expression, and she chuckled softly. “How could I forget? You said we looked like a couple of drowned rats.”

“And we definitely did.” you added, joining in her laughter. “And you insisted on making hot cocoa when we got home, but we both ended up burning our tongues because we were too eager to drink it.”

Jill’s laughter filled the room, and for that moment, it felt as if the weight of the world had lifted just a little. “I think you were the one who was too eager!” she retorted, her eyes sparkling with laughter.

“Okay, I’ll admit I may have gotten a bit too excited, but who can blame me? You make everything better,” you replied, squeezing her hand and leaning in to kiss her forehead.

The two of you spent the rest of the night sharing stories of silly moments from your relationship, from the time you both dressed up in ridiculous costumes for Halloween to the day you attempted to cook dinner together, resulting in a kitchen disaster. Each memory was a thread, weaving warmth into the fabric of the night and allowing you both to escape the harsh reality that awaited.

Eventually, Jill’s laughter subsided into soft breaths, and you felt her relax against you, finally finding solace in your embrace. As you both drifted back into sleep, the shadows that haunted her dreams began to fade, replaced by the light of your shared memories, bringing a sense of peace to your restless hearts.

[creative99writer]

A Meeting in London (Jack Draper) - Part 1

Sequel to "A Meeting in New York"

A Meeting in New York - Part 1

A Meeting in New York - Part 2

A Meeting in New York - Part 3

A/N: This is once again extremely long, and probably going to be divided into three parts or so, like the first one. Also, is it just me or does ANYBODY else also feel so awkward when they post their writing? Don't know why, but it always makes me so nervous and awkward for some reason. Anyway, I hope you like it and my writing doesn't put you off lol

Off Season.

London, November 2024.

 It had been a long and grueling season. Jack was happy about the break, even though he never could stay away from tennis for long. When he was away for even a week, he'd start to miss it. 

Right now though, in this very moment, he did not miss it at all. It was Hell Week - the week where he'd put his body through hell: training, training and more training, physical exhaustion and pain. It really was hell - but it was almost over. He was nearly done with it (in reality, in his mind, he was quite literally done with it, though he didn't mention that). 

Apart from basically dying, he had spent the week with his big brother Ben and his best friend Paul, hunting for accessories for their new place they'd just bought and moved into. Jack had to admit, interior design wasn't easy, but he did his best trying to make this place their home. Paul did tease him about it not exactly being a 'professional job' at which Jack usually rolled his eyes good-naturedly. 

It was late in the evening, and his brother Paul and Jack were chilling on the couch, watching some sport nobody really paid attention to. Jack was lost in thoughts - like he had been since early September. 

Jennifer Langfort.

That name was playing on his mind like a mantra. 

He couldn't stop thinking about her. About their kisses in the hotel lobby. And about how she fled the scene, never to be seen again.

Jack hadn't really known what to do. Should he have messaged her? Should he have tried to find her after he had lost his semifinals match? He didn't know. He didn't know anything.

After their kiss, he had been a complete mess - at least mentally. All he could think about was her, her, her. Once his semifinals match had approached, of course he was focused on it. But he had wondered whether she would be watching or not. If she was thinking about him the way he thought about her.

His semifinals match was interesting, to say the least. He had vomited three times, and people couldn't stop talking about it and how he had wiped it away himself and continued playing to the bitter end. It had been his firs Grand Slam semifinal, and regardless of the outcome, he was proud of himself. He had done the best he could under the circumstances - the anxiety, the humidity had gotten to him, but he had given it his all. He had wanted to go and find her after he had lost, but what could he have said? That he couldn't stop thinking about her and wanted to do more than just kiss her - he wanted to take her out, properly, talk to her, get to know her. But he didn't really have time, everything had been a complete whirlwind, especially after his loss. He had flown back to London the next day, taken a quick break and then went to play the Davis Cup round for Team GB. He didn't really have time to do anything at all, after that semifinals loss. 

Jen had fared a little better than him - under big applause and cheers she had won the US Open. The big champion was back.

And Jack was incredibly happy for her. She deserved it, and more. What she'd told him about how those security guards that constantly surrounded her made her feel, made him feel for her. He wanted to be the one to protect her - and these thoughts that had been ghosting around in his mind for months now scared him. What did he know about her after all, except for the few things she'd told him and the way she made him feel when she was near (and when she wasn't near, to be fair)? It was absolutely crazy. And yet, he'd come to accept that he felt things for her - that he had genuine, deep feelings for her. 

He couldn't really explain it, and he didn't want to. Jack had told the story to Ben and Paul - they told each other everything - and they had nearly fallen out of their seats. Jack told them to pick up their jaws, they were catching flies, teasing them with the way they looked at him, incredulously. He had hoped that maybe they could help him untangle the mess in his head, but that was probably a futile task. 

"What the hell?" Paul exclaimed. "You guys kissed?!" Ben laughed at him, claiming he knew there was this weird sexual tension going on, which earned him a pillow landing on his face, courtesy of Jack. 

Afterwards, they'd talked about what all this meant, and Jack had tried to play it cool, to downplay the amount of his feelings, but Paul and Ben had shared a knowing look. They'd both known this wasn't just a fleeting moment of attraction or a few kisses shared in the dark corner of a hotel lobby, or even him helping her out - this was much more. Maybe not love,  at least not yet, but given time, it could very well be. 

But then, time had passed, and absolutely nothing happened. 

He had gone on to play the Davis Cup and then Japan, Jen had played the Asian WTA Swing and the WTA Finals. Jack had gone on to win Vienna - his first ATP 500 title - and then played in Paris, where his loss in the second round meant that his season had come to an end. 

Jack had followed her matches, she'd played well, her comeback clearly a huge success. A WTA 1000 title in Wuhan was followed up by her win of the WTA Finals. But not once had heard a word from her. 

She hadn't tried to message or reach him in any way. It was as if their kisses in New York had been a pure figment of imagination on his part, though he knew it wasn't, of course. But it seemed like it, because there was complete radio silence going on.

Jack thought that maybe she'd message him on Instagram, but she didn't even follow him (and he had checked approximately 487 times - he swore, he hadn't counted). He did follow her, the day after he played his semifinals match. But she never followed him back. He had watched her stories, her reels, liked her posts, but nothing was returned on her part. 

Jen had started posting regularly again during the US Open. Her posts and captions were funny, people from the ATP and WTA were commenting on them. Her stories, too, were hilarious, especially the ones that didn't have anything to do with tennis. She posted about cooking and baking adventures, of karaoke bars and her and her friends singing 'Man! I Feel Like A Woman' by Shania Twain (which sounded a bit off key but still good somehow), and she posted of her cats and her dog and going to the movies and living her life. And the funniest thing she'd posted was about a Halloween Party Jen and her friends had attended where they'd dressed up like the Lorax. She looked so funny, and beautiful in that stupid costume, and when he saw the video of her dancing and jumping around to songs of Katy Perry and other early 2000 bangers, he had wanted nothing more than to be there with her. She looked like a joy to be around, so carefree and full of life. Nothing he saw made him want her less - if anything, whatever she posted, made him want her even more. It was insane, if he thought about it, yet here was. Hopelessly entranced by a girl that seemed to have forgotten he even existed.

Complete radio silence. He couldn't really understand it. Had the moments they'd shared meant nothing to her? Had he just imagined the way she'd gazed up at him? Had he just imagined the way her heart sped up when he drew closer to her and her breath hitched? 

No, he hadn't imagined it. Paul and Ben both told him to be patient - to go talk to her when he'd see her next which would probably be in fucking December. She had been named for the United Cup to represent her country, and Jack would be there too. 

Sure, he could have messaged her - but would she have answered? Would she have even seen it? Jack was pretty sure that there were so many others who slipped into her DMs, so she probably wouldn't have seen it anyway. He didn't really know how else to contact her. Maybe he could have asked someone for her number, but it wasn't a given that he would have gotten it - and he didn't want to come off as desperate. 

Yes, he was desperate to a certain extent (which he'd even admitted to Paul and Ben after a few drinks too much, after which they'd teased him relentlessly, claiming they'd known all along 'their boy was in lurrveee') - but he didn't want to appear that way to her. And so he didn't really have a choice but to wait. Little did he know that his chance to talk to her again would be coming sooner rather than later.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jack had survived hell week and now was in normal training, a typical regimen for the preseason that would start at the end of December. He was on the way to his usual training center, the National Tennis Centre, and it was a dreary morning, typical London November weather. He parked his polo at his usual spot, grabbed his bag and entered the training center with big, confident strides. Jack was ready for a day full of training. 

When he entered through the front door, he immediately felt that something was different. He didn't really know what - but something definitely was. There were murmurs and whispers and much more people than usual in the front area. He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "What's going on?" he asked one of the staff, but they only shook their head, as if they weren't allowed to say anything. Jack, annoyed with the commotion, decided that he didn't really care - he was here to practice and that was what he was going to do.

He entered the locker room, putting his bag down and getting ready for his session. He had changed into his practice attire and picked up his tennis bag, the way to the practice courts only a short distance. Suddenly he bumped into a somewhat familiar body. Wait - that couldn't be - or could it really? The figure felt familiar, like the one he had been pressed up against in a hotel lobby in New York. But that was crazy. Why would Jennifer Langfort be in London? At the National Tennis Centre, nonetheless?

"Oof." the person let out a sound that resembled the yelp he had heard from Jen when he had bumped into her in New York. Before the girl could fall backwards after the hard bump-in, he placed his hands on her shoulder to steady her, and then he finally got a chance to look at the girl he'd bumped into, though he already knew it was her.

Yet, when he really saw her with his own eyes, he still couldn't believe it. He looked down at her, his eyes a dead giveaway how surprised he was at seeing her here, where he always practiced.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, stunned at seeing none other than Jennifer Langfort standing in front of him. Her eyes were wide - she hadn't been expecting him either. 

"I-" she stuttered, her eyes darting across his face before locking with his. Jack's hands still rested on her shoulder, but he didn't really care to move them away, because - just maybe -  touching her was some sort of reassurance to him that she was really here, that she was really standing there in front of him.

"I'm here to practice..." Jen's voice sounded surprised at seeing him. "I didn't know you'd be here."

Jack wanted to roll his eyes. It sounded like if she'd known he'd be here, she would have practiced somewhere else. "Oh, thanks." he quipped, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and he finally stepped back, his hands dropping from her shoulders.

Jen exhaled. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I hadn't realized you'd be practicing at the NTC, that's all." She sounded exhausted, mentally and physically, as she bent down to pick up the bag she had dropped. "My usual training center got hit by a flood in September and it's still not repaired, so now... I'm here." she shrugged with her shoulders. "The LTA was generous enough to let me practice here, because we don't really have any other high quality practice courts where I come from, except the ones I usually practice on." 

"Oh." Jack's response wasn't the intellectually brilliant one he had hoped it would be, his brain desperately trying to find something that would resemble words, but it was hard to seeing as his brain seemed to turn into complete mush in her presence.

"Yeah." Jen looked around awkwardly, clearing her throat. "Well, anyway, I have to get going, I'm gonna be late for practice and I forgot something in my locker." she gestured to the room behind Jack, who stepped aside to let her get past. 

As she walked past him, he caught her familiar scent - the same one that had intoxicated him in New York. "Wait." Jack couldn't stop himself. He had to know.

"Why did you disappear like that?" Jack tried not to sound too hurt, but Jen's face was riddled with guilt as she turned back to him, so he probably hadn't been too successful with that. "Look, I know we just kissed but I thought... well, I thought that there was something more going on, you know? Or did I just imagine that?" His eyes searched hers for an answer.

Jen shook her head, earnestly, her voice only slightly above a whisper. "No, you didn't." she looked down and fiddled with her hands, a nervous habit she tended to have, Jack noticed. "You didn't imagine anything, but I ... I think I panicked." she added, not meeting his eyes. 

"You panicked?" Jack was confused and Jen nodded. "It was... too much. All of it." she tried to explain and Jack finally understood. The feelings - the sudden feelings - had overwhelmed her too. But while his way of dealing with it would have been to talk it out, take her on a date and see where this was going, her way of dealing with it was... running away, quite literally.

"And to be honest" Jen said quietly, "I didn't really know what to say." 

"How about, 'Thank you again, Jack, for this amazing kiss. I'd gladly let you take me out on a date.'" he quipped, trying to lighten the mood a little as he sensed the tension around her, and Jen scrunched up her face in an adorable laugh. Oof, I got it bad, he thought.

"Oh really? That's what I should have said?" Jen's voice was full of laughter. "I don't recall you ever asking me out."

"Yeah, well, you never talked to me again afterwards - but if you had, I would have asked, you know." Jack winded her up, a smile making its way onto his face.

"But what makes you so sure I would have said yes?" she teased right back, and Jack loved the way the banter immediately seemed to flow between them.

"I mean... that was one hell of a kiss. Pretty sure you didn't stand a chance at saying no after that." 

Jen guffawed at his mock arrogance, and Jack felt weirdly proud of making her laugh like that. "You're impossible." she playfully punched his shoulder.

"Impossible to say no to?" Jack offered, and Jen rolled her eyes, still laughing.

"You wish, Disney Prince." she shook her head with a laugh, and turned around to the lockers. Jack followed her in, enjoying their banter. 

"Why'd you call me that, anyway?" he asked her as Jen rummaged around her bag. "Is it really the hair?"

Jen nodded earnestly, though the mischievous smile gave her away. "Yep, it's definitely the hair. And because you're really tall, but mostly the hair." Jen looked into his eyes, and he could detect a teasing glint in her gaze, so he decided to step up with his flirting. He walked over to her, closer than before and looked down at her, a slight smirk covering his lips.

"So you said, all the girls would love me..." he trailed off, as he playfully narrowed his eyes at her, and Jen cocked her head to the side. "Does that include you?"

Jack watched, fascinated, as a light blush dusted her cheeks - a blush she desperately tried to cover up by looking down at her fiddling hands. "N-no?" she stuttered, and Jack raised an eyebrow, the smile not leaving his face. As she looked up, her cheeks looked even darker. "Maybe?" 

"So, which one is it?" Jack dared to step even closer, and he was suddenly hyper aware of her presence. His hand reached out and toyed with a string on her sports jacket. He watched as her eyes moved down to where his hand touched the string and then darted back again to his face.

"I-" Jen was clearly out of sorts, and he loved evoking this reaction in someone who was usually so self-assured and confident. But he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he decided to let her off the hook - at least for now. 

"It's okay, love, I'll give you some time to think about it." Jack winked at her, and bit his lower lip as he stepped back. Then he leaned forward slightly, so his face was closer to hers and Jen looked like a deer caught in headlights. "But I definitely won't let you disappear on me again." With that, and a final smile, he turned and left the locker room, heading to his practice. It was going to be a good day, he thought, as he realized Jen would be around for quite a while. And for the first time in three months, Jack felt like he could finally breathe.

----------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck had just happened?

Jen stood there in the locker room, completely dumbfounded.

Jack Draper, otherwise also known as 'Disney Prince' had just flirted his ass off - and Jen had been completely out of it. Her usual confident, smart demeanor had been shattered, and it was all his doing.

Jen hadn't realized Jack Draper was such a charm and flirt machine. Like, he could seriously flirt, and he knew it. He had known exactly where to push her buttons, using her own words against her like that. And when he called her 'love' - God, she wanted to swoon.

She had to admit, after their incredible kisses in New York, she'd googled him, and basically internet stalked him. She had watched his interviews on YouTube - unfortunately there weren't too many -, she had stalked his Instagram and Twitter - unfortunately he wasn't too active-, and she'd googled any article she could find, which also wasn't a lot. The YouTube videos gave her the most to work with because she had studied the way he'd carry himself, the way he talked, and he sounded decidedly professional, thoughtful and, well, not very flirty. His interviews were completely professional, sure, but he didn't give away too much. The only sarcastic or unhinged quip here and there were a few flashes of the person he was underneath his professional persona. But he seemed really sweet, earnest and just really nice. Exactly the kind of guy she could see herself with.

But she'd gotten scared. Of course, she had noticed that Jack had followed her, and that he had liked her posts or reacted to her stories. It was impossible not to notice, at least for her, because she'd checked religiously. Jen had chickened out, pure and simple. She was a chicken when it came to being vulnerable, or letting her guard down. And somehow, Jack had gotten under her skin, he had reduced her to this mess that really only wanted to be close to him, to be held and kissed by him. He had made her want that.

And that scared Jen immensely. She'd told herself she didn't even know him. That this was just her hormones talking. But deep down, she knew it wasn't. It was real, and it was genuine, this connection between them. 

Jack did have a point. Going out on a date would have been the next logical move, getting to know each other, talking to each other properly. But their paths hadn't crossed in months, and to be honest, she thought he'd forgotten her. 

Clearly he hadn't. So maybe they could have a second chance - but would Jen be able to give him - them - one?

-----------------------------------------------------------

The courts at the NTC were bustling, the British tennis elite taking up every court the center had to offer. Jen felt a little out of place, if she was being honest. A little bit like an intruder, she was hiding on the last court of the center, trying to keep any attention off of her, which was easier said than done. Sure, she knew a few of the female players, not nearly close enough to be real friends, but there were some acquaintances, and she'd seen some of the male players around at some tournaments here and there. But this was completely new territory, everybody knew everybody around here, and she didn't. The only person she'd been somewhat close to had been Jack - and really, that was only on surface level, too, even if they'd kissed.

To everyone else around the NTC, having the Jennifer Langfort there was fascinating. Lower ranked players always liked watching the higher ranked ones practice to see if there was something they could learn from them. And that was the case here as well. As Jen got ready for some drills she could feel some of the other players' eyes on her. It wasn't uncomfortable per se, but she was out of her comfort zone here, so she would have liked more privacy. But she had to make do with what she'd got, and so she just dealt with it and ignored the looks and whispers.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jack was on the other side of the center, much to his dismay. He would have loved to watch her train more closely. Or to watch her more closely, in general. But alas, that had to wait. Maybe he could convince her to go get some dinner together after practice - not as a date, at least not officially. He didn't want to scare her off. He had sensed some apprehension on her part, not because she didn't like him or because she wasn't affected by him, but there was definitely something else. So, he wanted to keep it light and somewhat casual, for her sake. Though, Jack knew that was probably easier said than done. He could barely control his thoughts let alone his reactions around her. Playing it cool and casual required a lot of willpower on his end.

He noticed Jen was hiding away on her practice court a little bit. She always seemed to be turned away slightly so as to not be seen by the others that clearly. And he'd noticed the attention she was getting. Clearly, she wasn't too comfortable with it. 

Surely, he thought, she was used to the attention from years of being in the spotlight. Jack wondered if her discomfort stemmed from only coming back very recently after her accident - which, granted, would be a major disruption in anyone's life - or if she was uncomfortable with being in the limelight in general. He guessed it was the first because he could tell from watching her interviews she was quite the natural when it came to interviews or being the center of attention, as if she'd always been there - not in a conceited way, but simply natural. Now, however, she tended to hide away a little. Maybe she'd gotten used to her shell while she'd been away from the tennis world and it was difficult for her to get out of it. Jack decided that he'd find out.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as she went through with her practice - serves, forehands, backhands, volleys, drills, sprints, dropshots (her specialty) and all over again. The others were watching her too, but after a while it looked like she was in her own world, completely focused on her training. Her coach seemed nice, very caring and they laughed a lot together. They seemed like friends, and not just coach and player. 

As Jack took a break during his own practice, he sat down on the bench and looked over at Jen, who looked so carefree and full of life as she laughed at something her coach said. He realized he hadn't ever really seen this side of her; then again, he hardly had seen any side of her yet, but he was planning on changing that. He couldn't wait to find out what kind of music she liked, what her childhood was like, what food she liked, what movies, and so many other things. He wanted to get to know the person Jennifer Langfort. What made her her. 

"You're staring." Paul said as he sat down next to Jack who nearly flinched with surprise. He had been caught up in his own world watching Jen practice. "You're making it very obvious, you know?"

"Making what obvious?" Jack played dumb, but he knew exactly what Paul was going to say. 

"That you like her." Paul deadpanned.

"Yeah, so?" Jack shrugged. "I don't mind if she knows." 

Paul's jaw nearly fell to the floor. "Oh, so you suddenly admit it!" he hummed once he had regained his composure and Jack shrugged again, unbothered (or at the very least pretending to be).

"No chance hiding it, I'm afraid." Jack took a sip of his water. "I .. I met her in the locker room. Guess I made it abundantly clear I'm interested." Jack gnawed on his lower lip as his eyes wandered back over to Jen's form in the distance who was now talking to Katie Boulter.

Paul raised an eyebrow, slightly flabbergasted. "Oh?" 

"Yeah." Jack sighed and then smiled slightly at the memory. "I told her that I would have taken her out on a date if she hadn't run off in New York. Among other things." 

"Hm." Paul sounded impressed. "So you finally grew a pair." he told his best friend with a smirk.

Jack burst out laughing and threw his towel at Paul. "Oh fuck off!" he was still laughing, and he noticed Jen looking over at them out of the corner of his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, we finally get to see how the great Jennifer Langfort practices." Katie Boulter teased and Jen playfully rolled her eyes. They had practiced together for the entire day, and had developed quite a good rapport between each other. "I'm pretty sure my training routine isn't that much different to yours." she remarked before she put the water bottle down. "It's really not that special."

"Girl, are you okay?" Katie laughed, astounded. "That was the hardest practice of my life! And you're trying to tell me it's nothing special?"

Jen shrugged, slightly shy at her rigorous training regimen. "I don't really know anything else. It's how I've always practiced. Guess I've always been a little obsessed with improving."

"Huh." Katie looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "So that's how you become World Number 1 then. Duly noted." 

Jen laughed at Katie's remark and then she heard another round of laughter coming from the other side of the hall. It was Jack and a guy she didn't recognize, but they seemed to be really close. Jack was laughing at something his friend had said and threw a towel at him. Jen couldn't help but smile at that. She wished she'd had someone who was this close to her during her early practice years, someone who was a genuine friend. She wished she hadn't always been so alone during these formative years because she was the only one from her country on that level. It sometimes was quite lonely. 

Katie had watched Jen as she had observed Jack and Paul's shenanigans on the other end of the hall. She wasn't stupid - she had noticed Jen trying her hardest not to look in Jack's direction but she had slipped up sometimes, and she had wondered what was going on there, if maybe she just found Jack attractive? She didn't really think they'd met before. And she realized from talking to Jen a little bit that she must have been quite lonely or at the very least spending a lot of time on her own despite the friends she had on the tour. 

"Have you met Jack?" Katie asked and Jen didn't notice the slight glint in Katie's eyes. Katie was so ready to play matchmaker. All the while during practice she'd thought that Jen and Jack would get on great. Jen was absolutely lovely, so down to earth despite her level of fame and she was hilarious - Katie would make a bet with anyone at the NTC that Jen would be Jack's type. So she decided to take matters into her own hands - he mind was buzzing with ideas.

"Uh - " Jen stuttered slightly before catching herself as her eyes flitted to Katie's. "No, I haven't."

"Hm." Katie cocked her head to the side. "Then you definitely should."

Before Jen could even realized what Katie was implying, she was dragged over to court 1 where Jack and Paul were sitting on the bench. 

"Oy, Jack, Paul!" Katie shouted over to them and they looked up at her, surprised. "Meet Jen!"

Jen was being dragged by her new friend across the court to the bench, looking a little like a human ragdoll mixed with a deer caught in headlights. As the girls finally came to a halt right in front of Jack and Paul, the boys shared a look and a smile before getting up and meeting the girls. Katie looked at them expectantly and Paul made the first move. "Hi Jen, it's nice to meet you. I'm Paul." 

Paul looked very friendly and nice as he held out his hand and Jen took it shyly, with a slight smile. "Hi Paul, it's nice to meet you too." she said softly. There was a cheeky glint in Paul's eyes that she couldn't quite decipher and she didn't have time to dwell on it because Jack stepped right in front of her with a barely contained smile. She could see Paul nudge Jack and Jen knew then and there that Jack had most definitely told Paul about their encounter in New York. She immediately felt her face heat up - which was extremely bad timing because she knew Jack could see it, and so could Katie, who had apparently decided to claim the title 'matchmater of the NTC'. Jack definitely noticed her blush because his smile deepened as he held out his hand, a teasing look in his eyes.

"Hi Jen." Jack took her hand and Jen felt her heard stutter. "I'm Jack. Nice to finally meet you, I've heard quite a lot about you." Jen felt completely entranced by him. Since when was he so openly flirty. Somewhere in another universe she could hear Paul choking slightly on a cough in the background, but she didn't really register it as she looked up at Jack with big eyes and red cheeks.

"Hi Jack." she said, her voice slightly shaky. "Nice to meet you too." Jen cleared her throat as she stepped away slightly and Jack licked his lips as he watched get all flustered. He was clearly loving this.

Katie had definitely felt the tension because her voice nearly cut it in half, it was so thick. "So now that you guys have met, what about a welcome dinner for Jen tonight? You know, to welcome her here. She doesn't really know anyone." she said and Jen rolled her lips in to stop herself from snorting. Oh, if she'd known! 

Jack had seen her try to keep in her laughter after what Katie had said and covered up his smile by taking a sip of water. "Of course, that's a great idea. Isn't it, Jack?" Paul nudged his friend and Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes, absolutely. Let's do it." 

Katie clapped her hands together, excited at bringing them all together - and maybe making Jen and Jack spend time together. "Fantastic! I'll ask the others as well - the more the merrier!"

Jen's eyes flitted from Katie to Jack to Paul and back to Jack before she smiled gently at Katie. "Yeah, sure, sound's lovely." she said quietly before excusing herself. She definitely needed a little time to breathe.

-----------------------------------------------------------

When Jack had woken up that day, he hadn't realized the day would pan out like this. After he had met Jen in the lockers he had planned on asking her out and keep it a little casual, but maybe it was a good idea for them to go to dinner all together because that meant less pressure on Jen. He never would have wanted to pressure her into anything that overwhelmed her.

When Katie - completely unaware of their prior connection - had 'introduced' them to each other, Jack had barely been able to contain himself. The situation was so comical and surreal, but at the same time... his heart skipped a beat when he had looked at the girl in front of him. She looked so sweet and shy and her blush... God. That drove him wild. The way she'd blushed when taking his hand. He was discovering so many sides to her and he couldn't wait to discover more. 

And then, when she'd excused herself, he wondered if Jen was getting overwhelmed with the attention or the situation, and if he could do something - anything - for her. He waited a few moments before telling the others he was going to the toilet. Jack didn't care if Paul knew he was going after Jen.

He found her leaning against the railing outside which was sort of like a balcony, outside of the rooms where they usually did their fitness training. It wasn't too hard to spot her, she was the only person in this area of the NTC. When Jack walked through the door, it looked like she was deep in thought. 

"Hey, you okay?" His voice was soft, but she was still startled, her eyes wide as she turned around. Recognizing it was Jack, she relaxed again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... needed a break, I guess. From people." she said quietly, but the amused raise of her eyebrow gave away that it was meddling people in particular she wanted to get away from.

"So I gather Katie picked up on whatever's going on." Jack stood next to her as they both looked out onto the grass outside of the balcony. 

Jen hummed, fiddling with her hands. "Yeah, I guess so. Quite perceptive, that one." she said and Jack laughed. "That may have been less her perception and more the fact that we keep looking over to each other during practice." he chuckled and Jen burst out laughing too. "Yeah, probably. Not quite so subtle." 

The laughter died down and silence set in before Jack broke it. "You know, you don't have to do this whole dinner thing if you're not comfortable with it." he told her softly, before adding, "You can always do dinner with just me." There was a teasing glint in his eye and Jen laughed - a sound that made Jack feel all warm inside. "Very smooth, and very tempting." Jen turned to the side to look at him properly, just to find him already watching her. "But it's fine. I guess it'll actually be quite nice to get to know everyone there." 

Jack watched her quietly for a moment, the teasing still visible in the way he looked at her, before sighing. "Yeah, I guess so. But I'm telling you right now, you're missing out on the best dinner company you could have."

Jen bit back a smile at his remark. "Aren't you going to be there, too?" 

Jack leaned forward, slightly - he couldn't help himself, he was enjoying their flirty banter way too much. "Yeah, but I bet it would be much more fun alone."

Jen's breath hitched slightly as he spoke, and Jack had trouble keeping himself from kissing her right then and there. She caught herself again and rolled her eyes. "You have quite the opinion of yourself, huh?" 

Jack laughed and gently grabbed her hand in his. "No, I just know that if you're there and we're together, it's going to be a lot of fun." 

Jen's eyes darted down to where his hand had touched hers before drifting back to his face, raising an eyebrow. She was quite tough to crack, he had to give her that. He thought he'd had her, and then she regained complete composure. It was almost like a game and he couldn't get enough. "So what exactly does that fun entail?" she murmured and Jack had to used all of his willpower to keep his cool. 

"Maybe the same fun we had in New York?" His voice was just as low as hers and their faces were impossibly close. Jack hadn't even realized they'd somehow drifted even closer together.

"Is that a question or a statement?" she challenged him, her eyes burning into his. And with that Jack had enough - he leaned in, and waited just a beat to ask if this was okay, before she nodded slightly and his lips were on hers.

He'd nearly forgotten how good it felt to feel her lips on his and how soft they were and how she tasted. Jack didn't waste any time - he pinned her back against the railing, his hands in her hair and on her back to guide and steady her. His lips moved against hers almost in a frenzy - he felt like he was in a rush, he hadn't kissed her in nearly three months. Jack felt like a drowning man who only now was coming up for air again, which was ironic because he was gradually running out of breath, but he didn't want to let go just yet. Their kiss was a rush of hands, tongues and sighs, breaths mingling in a heated moment and his head was spinning. He completely forgot the world around him, the fact that they were literally in the National Training Center and anyone could have walked in on them at any given moment - nothing of that mattered to Jack. All that mattered to him was Jen and how she felt once again pressed up against him, her hands on the back of his neck and in his hair, slightly tugging at the long strands. His hands wandered from her hair to her back, pulling her into a complete embrace before one of his hand slid back up into her hair. He was tugging her impossibly closer to him, but it still didn't feel like it was enough. Everything around him was completely drowned out, all he could focus on and feel was Jen. Her hands were soft, just like her lips and Jack could feel them all over his shoulders and chest, the back of his neck, in his hair. Her lips moved against his in what felt slightly like a frenzy, and Jack responded with equal passion. 

He didn't know how long they were standing there, Jack holding Jen close to him, their arms wrapped around each other like they were each other's lifeline. And he didn't care. He didn't want to stop kissing her, he didn't want to stop holding her.

But Jen - between them - was the voice of reason and once again pulled away first. Jack wanted to scream, once again, just like he'd wanted in New York each time she had pulled away. Deep down, his rational self knew why she did, but his heart told him he didn't want to stop. At all. Jack pulled back slightly, albeit unwillingly, and opened his eyes. He breathed heavily and his chest was rising up and down rapidly

"Jack..." Jen mumbled, her hand still in his hair and her eyes closed. "We're in the middle of the NTC... we can't... we shouldn't..." Her words were a slightly jumbled and mumbled mess as she finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. Jack couldn't breathe with the way she looked at him. His mind was foggy and really all he wanted to do was lean back in and kiss her. He couldn't really understand what she was doing to him, and for what felt like the hundredth time he thought he had never really felt like this before.

"I know." he murmured but didn't move away. He still held her in his arms, their hearts beating rapidly against each other's chests. "I know we shouldn't... but i can't stop, I - I don't know how." Jack looked down at her, his eyes slightly hooded. It was like someone - or Jen - had pushed the 'off' button on his mind, because it didn't seem to function properly, just like his body. Instead of moving away like he should, he moved closer again, kissing her softly. And despite what Jen had said, she responded immediately and fervently. It was a soft and gentle kiss, they weren't rushing in the midst of a heated kiss, but the passion could still be felt in the way Jack held her against him and tilted her head into the perfect angle to move his lips against hers. This time he pulled away slightly, his breath mixing with hers, his eyes closed. "I don't want to stop." he whispered against her lips and moved back in into another soft kiss, his hands moving to gently cup her face. 

Jack finally pulled away, knowing that they could be caught any minute - he wouldn't have really minded per se, but he knew that Jen would have felt embarrassed because she didn't really know anyone here that well. His thumbs caressed her cheeks and Jack noticed with astonishment they were slightly red. "You're blushing." he murmured as he watched his thumbs move across her skin. Jen grinned up at him as she held onto his arms and rolled her eyes. "Am not." 

"You so are." he whispered and couldn't help but grin. "You're adorable." Jen blushed even more and his grin widened. He did that, he thought. He felt like it was a huge accomplishment. Jen rolled her eyes again and stepped back slightly. Jack felt a sense of loss now that she wasn't pressed up against him anymore. Jen took a deep breath and straightened her clothes, maybe to distract herself a little, Jack couldn't really tell. But then again, he hardly ever could tell what was going on insider her head. That's why it felt like such an accomplishment to him to see Jen blush or react in any way to him. "I have to go, my team's probably waiting and to be honest... I have no idea how long we were out here..." she said with a slightly embarrassed smile - and there it was again. That sense of accomplishment Jack felt at making her forget any sense of time. He only grinned cheekily and the blush on her cheeks deepened once again. 

"I'll see you tonight, Disney Prince." she walked to the door to get inside from the terrace and Jack watched her, his eyes never leaving her even once.

"Is that a promise, Cinderella?" he called after her with a grin and as Jen walked through the door he could see her smile as she looked back at him one last time.

[kpopsexstories]

TXT MOST MEMORABLE SEX – Story #2: YEONJUN

A new story/member every Monday between September 16-October 28, 2024. Click here to view the posting schedule.

Story: Yeonjun's adopted cousin rides him in a barn.

Type: MEDIUM/UNCONVENTIONAL

Content: Standing, Riding, Sex in a barn

Word Count: 2,767

Members: Yeonjun

Story #2: YEONJUN

Yeonjun had an uncle who owned a dairy farm in the Korean countryside. Every summer for as long as he could remember he spent some time on the farm with his family.

When he became an adult – and an idol – long summer breaks were no longer an option. But since the uncle's wife had passed away, Yeonjun made it a point to visit and help out at least a few times a year.

On this hot August day, he was high up on a ladder outside the uncle's barn. He was wearing light blue suspenders over a white t-shirt, and had a bucket of red paint hanging on a hook beside him.

Yeonjun was deep in his own thoughts while he painted the exterior of the large structure, but was abruptly pulled back to reality when a car approached from behind. He turned to look, and saw a pickup truck racing down a gravel road leading through a fence and up to the main house. It stopped just a stone throw away from Yeonjun on the ladder.

“How's it going?” his uncle asked and waved when he stepped out of the vehicle. He had a toolbox in one hand, and a plastic bag full of groceries in the other.

“I'm nearly done with this side,” Yeonjun replied and dipped the brush in the bucket. His clothes were stained with paint and a red streak ran across his cheek.

The uncle had a daughter – Ye-jun, Yeonjun's cousin – who stepped out of the passenger side of the truck. She was wearing dark blue overalls but had taken the top down and tied the arms around her waist. Her chest was covered by a tightly fitted white top.

She smiled at Yeonjun on the ladder but didn't say anything as she walked with her father into the house. Yeonjun couldn't help but stare at her perky breasts. There's no way she's wearing a bra under that, he thought.

He continued to work in silence while a song played in his head. He began to hum along to it, until Ye-jun came back out to greet him properly.

“Hey,” she said, looked up, and shaded her eyes with the back of her hand. “Looking good!”

“Hey,” Yeonjun replied. “Thanks. It's not my first paint job.”

Ye-jun smirked. “I didn't mean the wall,” she said and winked at her cousin. ”Dad asked me to come help you. Can I do something?”

Ye-jun was not like other girls. She was a country girl. Not by blood, but by a genuine interest. She was born to live and work on a farm. Now, Yeonjun enjoyed the feeling of being the one to tell her what to do, rather than the other way around the way it usually was when he came to visit.

“You could move the hay in the barn,” he said. “I started earlier but never got to finish.”

Ye-jun smiled, put her hand down and walked around the ladder. She stopped in the large opening leading into the darkness of the structure Yeonjun was working on.

“Aren't you hot?” Ye-jun asked and winked again.

“Insanely,” Yeonjun said and wiped his forehead with his arm.

“Come take a break with me.”

“Later, I promised I would finish this.”

Ye-jun looked around the farmland. “Hey, will you do something for me?” she asked in a lower voice. She had a naughty, playful expression on her face. ”Take off your shirt.”

Yeonjun laughed. He and Ye-jun had always been flirting and loved to tease one another, but nothing had ever happened between them. He knew that the request was meant to embarrass him, to make him uncomfortable. He decided to not let her get to him that way, and to give Ye-jun exactly what she asked for. It was his way of teasing back.

She stood patiently for a few long seconds, waiting for his reaction. She was chewing gum and blew a large, pink bubble. The moment it popped, Yeonjun put the paint brush on the edge of the bucket and pulled down his suspenders. He took the t-shirt off, and confidently maintained eye contact with her down below.

Then Yeonjun pulled the suspenders back up over his bare shoulders. The fabric felt weird when it touched his bare and sweaty skin.

Ye-jun smirked up at him while chewing her gum slowly. She admired his slim and toned figure. But the stare soon became too awkward for Yeonjun, who broke the connection between them by laughing nervously. He wiped his face with the shirt, then tossed it down at her.

“Ew!” she said when she caught it. She immediately dropped it to the ground. “It's soaked!”

Now it was Yeonjun's turn to wink and smirk. “I told you I was hot,” he teased.

Even though the two cousins had grown up together, and seen each other grow into young adults, they were both totally fine with the flirting and sexualizing that had been going on between them at least for the last few years, since Ye-jun's mother passed.

You see, Ye-jun wasn't Yeonjun's natural cousin. She was adopted. Though she'd always been a presence in Yeonjun's life, the fact that they were related only spiritually but not by blood, meant that they both dared to say and do things they otherwise wouldn't have said or done. They would never tell or show the uncle this, and it did indeed feel forbidden and even wrong, but that sort of secrecy and naughtiness only made it all the more exciting.

Ye-jun giggled when she walked away and disappeared into the belly of the barn. Shirtless and sweaty, Yeonjun resumed his duties.

The song in his head had stopped playing. Now, he imagined Ye-jun with her perky breasts in the tight top, forking away at the hay inside the barn. The mental image was an insane turn-on, and he would surely masturbate to the idea before going to sleep tonight.

His horny thoughts were interrupted when the uncle came back out and headed for the truck. “Hey,” he called out to get Yeonjun's attention. “I forgot something in town. I'll be back in twenty, okay?”

“Okay,” Yeonjun replied. He suddenly felt embarrassed after all, just as he knew Ye-jun had wanted him to feel. Sure, it was hot, but why would he suddenly have taken his shirt off when he was nearly done with the wall, and only when his cousin had come out? It wasn't something he usually did.

His uncle didn't question it though. He started the truck, made a hasty u-turn, and drove away through the opening in the fence and down the dirt road. As soon as the sound of the engine and the tires on the gravel disappeared, Ye-jun called from inside.

“Hey Yeonjun,” she shouted. “Get in here!”

Yeonjun was confused. Had something happened? Was she alright, or was this another one of her jokes or tricks? It didn't matter, because if it was either of those he was eager to get to her.

He quickly stopped his work, climbed down the ladder, and jogged to the dark opening of the barn. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the difference in light, but he quickly spotted Ye-jun.

She was seated with her legs crossed on a tightly packed square hay bale, half-way into the belly of the barn. The fork she'd worked with stood beside her, in the pile of hay she'd been separating and moving.

“Come,” she said and smiled. She wasn't in any kind of trouble, which was a relief.

Yeonjun walked over to her and stood in front of her. He struggled to keep his eyes off her chest. “What?” he asked.

Ye-jun held out her hand. “Come closer,” she said.

Yeonjun took another step forward and grabbed the hand. When he did, she un-crossed her legs and yanked his arm until his whole body was standing between her thighs.

As flirty as they had been in the last few years, this was new territorry. Yeonjun had always wondered what Ye-jun felt about him, and what she made of the fact that they were cousins only by adoption. He was about to find out.

When he didn't immediately show any signs of wanting to get away, Ye-jun placed a hand behind his head and pushed his face towards hers. Yeonjun's heart almost stopped. He opened his mouth a little, closed his eyes, and they kissed.

The kiss felt amazing. It was one they'd both secretly longed for, something they had hoped and wished would one day happen, and now it finally did. So suddenly, so unexpectedly, and at Ye-jun's initiative.

Yeonjun responded well to it. It felt great. They made out for half a minute, until Ye-jun took the suspenders and pulled them over Yeonjun's shoulders. When he realized what was happening, he reached out to feel the breasts he'd been eyeing all day.

“Uncle,” he said in between kisses.

“We've got at least ten minutes,” Ye-jun replied.

That wasn't a long time, but it was all they needed.

When Yeonjun's suspenders slid down his arms, Ye-jun suddenly let go of him and took off her top. Yeonjun froze and stared at her naked breasts in awe. He quickly snapped back to reality and reached out to touch them. He was in awe.

With Yeonjun's hands and lips all over her, Ye-jun stood up. She untied the overalls around her waist and pulled them down to her ankles. If she was wearing anything else underneath it all came off with them. She suddenly stood naked in front of Yeonjun, who could hardly believe that this was happening.

Ye-jun sat back down and spread her legs. Yeonjun was quickly and instinctively onboard. He pulled the one-piece down and his boxers off with them.

Ye-jun leaned back and admired his body, and the hard dick as it was presented to her. She smiled, then grabbed the shaft and yanked it, causing Yeonjun to take a leap forward.

“Ouch!” he said and laughed. But he quickly forgot about the pain her eager movements had caused.

He wanted to kiss and fuck her desperately. To play with the gum in her mouth and pass it between them with their lips and tongues. To feel the warmth of her vagina as it swallowed his meat, and rub its walls with the head and shaft.

Ye-jun spread her knees a little wider, and Yeonjun reached down between their legs. Things were happening fast, two horny young people who had been flirting for a long time, and who now released their desires and sexual tension all at once.

When he penetrated her, he quickly pulled his hand away and started to feel his cousin's breasts and soft skin again.

He stood with his feet firmly planted on the ground and clenched his ass cheeks. His hips immediately rocked back and forth. The shaft pushed inside, then came back out, as he began to fuck his adopted cousin with passion.

Their kissing was sloppy and hot, their bodies slippery with sweat. Yeonjun kept thrusting fast and hard, pushing in and out of the girl. She used her tongue to push the gum out, and he gladly took it in his mouth before returning it.

Ye-jun leaned further and further back on her elbows on top of the hay bale. Then she suddenly sat up straight again. She pushed Yeonjun away and leaned forward to remove her shoes, and pull the overall over her feet.

Yeonjun bent down and did the same to his own clothes. He nearly lost his balance as the shoes and suspenders came off, and he suddenly stood completely naked before his partner.

Nude, horny and filled with years of built-up sexual tension, Ye-jun stood up and swirled around. She took the fork and pulled it out of the stack of hay she had created, then threw it on the ground. With her free hand she pushed Yeonjun on the chest to show him what she wanted him to do.

He fell backwards onto the makeshift bed. The dry grass pricked his skin, but once he'd sunken into it, it felt soft and cozy.

Ye-jun sat down on top of him. She dug her knees into the hay on either side of him and grabbed his boner between her legs. Eager to get it back inside her, she lowered herself onto the stiff shaft.

Yeonjun had his eyes wide open and fixed on the beautiful figure on top of him. He rested his hands on her thighs while she got into position. When she began to rock her hips back and forth, he took a firm grip around her waist.

Ye-jun soon began to bounce up and down. She straightened her back and reached behind her neck with both hands, to collect her long hair and brush it to one side. Yeonjun held on tight around her waist, had his mouth half open, and took in her body with his eyes.

Ye-jun's perky breasts jumped up and down with the rest of her. As she rode him, Yeonjun reached up to feel them. He massaged and cupped them with his palms. They were round and firm and felt amazing to touch.

From the large opening leading into the barn, all that could be seen was Ye-jun's upper body peaking out among the hay bales around them while it bounced up and down, and Yeonjun's outstretched arms and hands on her breasts.

Yeonjun started panting as Ye-jun's vagina slid up and down his dick. “Uh, uh, uh,” he moaned repeatedly.

“Fuck me,” Ye-jun said. She leaned forward and placed her hands on Yeonjun's chest, pushing him deeper into the hay. She moved her hips faster up and down, and Yeonjun matched her speed with rapid thrusts.

“Ahh, I'm gonna come,” Yeonjun announced and suddenly closed his eyes. In that very moment, they heard the pickup truck approaching on the road outside.

Time was suddenly of the essence. Yeonjun's heart nearly stopped when he heard the engine, and imagined the dust behind the car as it raced toward them.

But Ye-jun was determined to finish things. She suddenly pushed herself up again, straightened her back and bounced even faster. Yeonjun let go of her breasts, squeezed her thighs, and moved his ass up and down at an insane pace. He grimaced and moaned as he pushed and pulled her body, determined to reach a climax before it was too late.

Yeonjun orgasmed just as the car stopped outside the main house and the engine was shut off. He groaned when he ejaculated inside his cousin. Ye-jun, in turn, quickly leaned far down to kiss him, effectively hiding herself from view. She moved her hips slowly back and forth on top of him, as he fully emptied himself inside her.

When they heard the car door close, Ye-jun quickly rolled off. Yeonjun stood up and put his feet inside the suspenders on the ground. He pulled them up while Ye-jun reached out from behind her hiding spot to grab her clothes. She giggled and pressed herself close against the nearest hay bale to stay out of sight.

Her father appeared as a dark silhouette against the bright sun outside, just as Yeonjun pulled the second strap over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” the uncle asked when he spotted Yeonjun inside.

“Nothing,” Yeonjun said, flustered and still with a semi-boner between his legs. He hadn't had time to put his underwear on under the suspenders. “I needed a break.”

“Where's Ye-jun?”

“I don't know. She said she'd help me but I haven't seen her since you left.”

Ye-jun swallowed her gum and kicked his leg. Fuck you, she mouthed but smiled when Yeonjun briefly glanced down at her.

“Alright,” his uncle said and turned around to walk away. “Finish the wall, then get back to moving the hay. Dinner will be ready in an hour.”

“Okay,” Yeonjun said and watched as the man's silhouette disappeared.

When it was gone, he turned to look on the ground beside him. Ye-jun was huddled up, naked and giggling in the hay. They both burst out laughing, and covered their mouths to keep the sound from escaping the depths of the barn.

When she was dressed, Ye-jun gave Yeonjun a kiss on the lips before leaving him. Red-skinned and bare-chested he started walking toward the sunlight, while Ye-jun took a door at the other end of the barn to walk around the house and avert suspicion.

To this day Yeonjun had no idea if his uncle saw or suspected anything. They never said a word about it. But from this day on, visits to the farm became so much more interesting, until one day a few years later when Ye-jun moved out.

When she did, the uncle finally sold the farm. The place that had been a fixed and cherished location for the cousins their whole lives soon became a distant memory. The memories, however, of both the farm and of their hot sex, forever lived on in Yeonjun's mind.

[mrtequilasunset]

The phenomenon of young Revacholian metalheads venturing out to the Porch Collapses (coined 'porch sitting') for the sake of proving how 'hardcore' they were started sometime in the late summer of '13 by a (then) Corpsemetal band called Timor (meaning Fear).

Fronted by 22-year-old Tobias Hawthorne, the band struggled to find any real renown, even amongst the Metal Underground. Reports of the events that took place during the early days of their arrival are based heavily on speculation, but it's believed that the group (Consisting of Hawthorne, Beauchamp "Beck" Waters, Antonio "Tony" Zaldivar, and Edgar Laaksonen) arrived to an unspecified porch sometime during September of '13 and set up camp. Though they had spent much time flaunting the plans of their endeavor to members of their circle, they had not actually told anyone exactly where they were going, for fear they might be followed by law enforcement or someone hoping to piggyback off their innovation. The four young men took only a medium sized petrol generator, one week's worth of food and clothes, two small tents, one pot, two microphones, a small mixing table with headphones, four sleeping bags, and minimal cold weather gear with them.

They claimed it would only be a brief week-long endeavor, but it took nearly a month and a half before an emaciated Laaksonen arrived back home as the only surviving member of the four piece. With very little of his memory still intact, and palesickness leaving him bedridden and decomposing from the inside out, getting the story of what had happened from the young man was an incredibly difficult endeavor. Despite this, across the few interviews that the family allowed to take place, as well as testimony from people at his bedside, the following recount of events was pieced together.

Upon their arrival, the band had set up their modest camp with the intention of capturing Pale Frequencies using one of the microphones and the mixing table, but being ill prepared to handle such proximity to the entity, they began to notice symptoms of palesickness within the first day. Nausea, headaches, and fatigue were the first, but seemed manageable, so they continued on with what they had set out to do.

It was in their minds that they were creating a new genre of metal, which they coined PaleMetal. It was set to be their claim to fame, a goal they hoped would award them with reverence, to be pioneers of a brand new sound, and, at first, it seemed they were succeeding. Only one of the mics they had brought was sophisticated enough to capture the frequencies, and Waters had been put in charge of mixing them with the demos they had recorded prior to their departure. Entroponeticists believed that being the sole person in charge of listening to and analyzing these frequencies on a near-constant basis played a heavy hand in the deterioration of his mind. As the days crawled on, Waters began to exhibit symptoms of minor fever psychosis. Laaksonen recalls hearing him have fully fledged conversations with himself, often staying up into the late hours of the night just listening to the recordings on loop. He told of an encounter the two had where Waters believed himself to be a Graadian woman. "[He] spoke the language and everything," Laaksonen claimed. "Put on this weepy little voice— couldn't remember who I was. And then, three hours later, perfectly fine".

Meanwhile, the rest of the band began to experience symptoms of their own. Hawthorne had become fixated on the microphone. Nearly every waking moment was spent out near the edge of the porch, clutching the small metallic device and holding it out towards the pale in hopes of capturing more. Every time he went out, he moved closer, soaking up more radiation. "It was as if he was waiting for something. Like he expected something to happen—I don't know what it could have possibly been. He was an entirely different person every time he came back". Laaksonen notes that physically, the man began to change as well. What started as a tall, well-built man was swiftly becoming something more akin to a shambling corpse, and every time he returned, he would have more frequencies to feed the mixing table. More frequencies to feed to Waters. 

It had become a sick cycle, but battling their own ailments, Zaldivar and Laaksonen could do little more than watch on. Rarely ever did they leave their tent, and their week-long endeavor quickly turned into two, then three. Food went mostly uneaten due to a lack of appetite, and dehydration was near constant. Their bodies had begun to show physical evidence of deterioration. Gaunt faces, sunken eyes, and pallor, along with the rapid decline in muscle mass, had made it clear that something was very wrong, and yet Laaksonen describes an almost euphoric sort of trance that snuffed any desire to leave. "It was strange," He states. "It almost felt like we were already dead. The sort of peace you find when the end is almost near and there's nothing to be done. Like, a sort of acceptance that this is where we should be for the rest of eternity, that the rest of Elysium doesn't exist for us anymore".

With self-preservation taking a backseat, the boys' physical and mental wellbeing continued its staggering nosedive until one fateful morning, when Laaksonen recalls waking to the sounds of arguing outside him and Zaldivar's tent. Upon unzipping the flap to the outside, they were met with a scuffle between Waters and Hawthorne. It is unknown who started it or why, but at some point, Waters managed to fish a switchblade from the pocket of his jeans as he was pinned to the ground. It's estimated he landed around fifteen stab wounds to Hawthorne's neck and torso before the larger man collapsed, dead. 

Waters, still in a state of psychosis and adrenaline, then took off into the pale. "I remember before he left, he sort of sat there crouched over the body for a minute, and then he looked at me with these big, white eyes. He just stared for- god- I don't even know how long, and then he just got up and took off. It was crazy, too, the way he disappeared. It's like he was there and then just... gone. Like the mist swallowed him." [Laaksonen pauses and takes a breath. His head turns to gaze out the window of his hospital room]. "Those eyes, though... I'll never forget them. There was nothing behind them. It's like he wasn't a person anymore." 

It seemed as if that encounter had been a wake-up call for the remaining band members, who gathered what they could (namely, both the mixed and unmixed recordings) into a single backpack. The MC they had used for the journey there had refused to start, so there was no choice but to make the trek on foot. Zaldivar made it through less than a day before collapsing, and it wasn't until two days later that Laaksonen was picked up by a Lorryman who recognized the symptoms of palesickness and gave him a ride to the nearest medical center.

Despite the combined efforts of many experts, Laaksonen passed away a little over two months after he was found. The damage done to his internal organs and tissues was too great to be reversed. His body was donated to an entroponetics institute to better study the effects of the Pale on the human body.

Before his death, he released the final mixes of the recordings under the band's label as the new genre Pale Metal. Despite no evidence that copies of the tracks cause adverse health effects, many still believe the recordings to be cursed, and most record shops won't even carry the EP in their stock. Copies have been known to circulate on the black market, often selling for several thousand Reál. The original tapes were given to the Waters family, who refuse to release them to authorities even to this day.

Despite the story of Timor becoming infamous amongst metal communities, it still sparked a trend of young people venturing out to the fringes where land meets pale, in search of experiencing it for themselves, as well as some wanting to create their own "True Revacholian Pale Metal". Very few who depart for the porches ever return, and the RCM (as well as other authorities) will refuse to open missing persons cases for anyone even possibly suspected of being affiliated with the PaleMetal scene. The official statement is that they "refuse to risk the health and safety of their officers by deliberately subjecting them to Pale radiation". Unofficially, it's believed they don't have the funding, manpower, or desire to go looking for "masochistic long-hair freaks". Those who do return often gain renown in metal circles for their bravery but still find themselves living with long-term health effects.

The practice of Porch Sitting has mostly died out, and PaleMetal is still considered one of the most taboo subgenres of metal, though plenty of diehard metalheads still listen from the safety of their own homes. Some bands still pop up every now and again, trying to recreate the sound. As of '51, it's estimated that nearly 300 people have disappeared due to this phenomenon.

[batlleonafc]

She’s a scab. She only cares about herself and what she can personally gain. She let her “friends” take the fall more than once now so she could get a world cup and continue to push that she’s the best player in the world when in reality she played like absolute dog shit and really that second ballon dor shouldn’t have gone to her in the 1st place. She’s just trying to stay relevant sorry that I’m giving you guys the truth 🤷‍♀️

Welcome to @handmeascalpel's ted talk, I'm your host @batlleonafc buckle up and enjoy the ride

Hello, anon. I've read everything you've mentioned. Do you have any evidence to support your claims? Considering that I'm reading this now, you don't. So, let me present the evidence I have. If you understand after this, great. If not, I can't stop people from forming their own opinions.

Exhibit A:

You said, "she only cares about herself and what she can personally gain."

On September 1, 2022, Alexia tweeted in support of Irene Paredes when the RFEF essentially blamed her for the players' opposition to the federation. Alexia was injured at the time and wasn't even in camp or eligible for a call-up. She was the first to tweet, sparking the revolution against the RFEF.

Ironically, on September 23 of the same year, exactly one year ago, Alexia was the first to post the Las15 statement, stating that the players wanted a "firm commitment for a professional project" and expressing their unhappiness that private conversations with the federation were leaked.

Exhibit B:

You said, "she let her friends take the fall more than once so she could get a World Cup."

As I mentioned earlier, Alexia was injured and therefore ineligible for a call-up. So her statement and email were never considered valid.

Every statement has always been posted by her first because she has a large following. She has consistently spoken out loudly and clearly about the problems. She never let friends take any fall. More proof is attached below.

She went to the World Cup because she was fit and couldn't escape sanctions, in case you forgot about them. I'd like you to tell me how many players who came back from an ACL injury immediately played well, or maybe just give me some names.

#seacabo was started by Alexia, and she took the lead for everything. It's not hard to find this evidence. Regardless of what people like you want to say about her, both on and off the pitch, you can see what kind of person she is.

Exhibit C:

You say, "that second Ballon d'Or shouldn't have gone to her in the first place."

Who do you think should have won it then? I'd be happy to hear your answer.

But since you brought up the Ballon d'Or, let me share a few things:

Official stats from the 2021/22 season:

La Liga Femenina:

- 26 games played.

- 18 goals scored.

- 16 assists.

Copa de la Reina:

- 4 games played.

- 4 goals scored.

- 1 assist.

Supercopa de España:

- 2 games played.

- 1 goal scored.

- 1 assist.

UEFA Women's Champions League (UWCL):

- 10 games played.

- 11 goals scored.

- 3 assists.

Regarding the Ballon d'Or voting, she only missed out on 29 days, equivalent to one tournament (the Euros). Nobody came close to her stats, and she's a midfielder. These stats are only for her club. Her national team stats are just as impressive, as she has been crucial in every single match, not just easy ones. She essentially surpassed her own record from the previous season when she won the Ballon d'Or. In short, she deserved it.

There's more to a player than just stats, especially for defenders. But the stats Alexia has as a midfielder are outstanding.

Exhibit D:

Finally, you said, "she's just trying to stay relevant." Sorry to say, but she doesn't have to say anything to stay relevant.

She uses her influential platform to talk about what's true and important, unlike many players. Ramona Bachmann is a good example, and even Athenea, for that matter.

I hope you've learned something today, anon. If not, good luck with your opinion of Alexia. You might just look foolish for hating on her.

Thank you for listening to @handmeascalpel's ted talk I hope you learned something today!

[whiteraven87]

Driven by Love: Rebirth from the Ashes - 13. I'm Back

-----------------------

The Unstoppable Series - Masterlist

Part 3: Driven by Love. Rebirth from the Ashes

Prologue

Nightmares

For Her, I'd Do Anything

Shared Nights

I Thought It Was the End

Scars

Say it again

Pleasant Views

Oh My God

Together

A Shared Trip

The Boss's Girl

I'm Back

She's mine [18+]

The Fight Continues

I Bloomed

Something's Going On

No Brakes

City of Sin [18+]

Title Defense [18+]

FIA Gala

Home and Christmas

Just Us [18+]

A Dream I Don't Want to Wake Up From

Return to Scotland

The Woman Who Blossoms

Return to the Paddock

Media Circus

Total Domination

Marathon

The Limits of Restraint [18+]

The Unexpected Guest

Fear of Loss

The Truth I Didn't Want to Say

I Won't Let You Go

A Promise I Couldn't Keep

The Truth I Couldn't Tell Her

The Last Evening

The Darkest Day of my life

Epilogue

---------------------------

Warnings: slow burn, age gap (23 years), woman racing in F1, boss/driver relationship, sex scenes,

---------------------------

13. I'm Back

Netherlands, September

POV Miriell

The engines of the private jet hummed softly as I gazed out the window at the clouds drifting slowly beneath us. The flight to the Netherlands would take just over an hour, but I already felt a thrill of excitement. A month away from racing was enough to make me miss the roar of the engines, the competition, and the adrenaline rush of every race.

It had been a month since my accident. A month since I thought I might never get back into a race car again. But the pain had subsided, my body was fully recovered, and I hadn't allowed myself a single day of idleness. Daily training, hours spent on the simulator at my home in the Bieszczady Mountains, reflex tests-I did everything to make sure that when I lined up on the grid in Zandvoort, I'd be ready.

Only one thing had changed. Toto and I had become a couple.

Toto sat across from me, flipping through some documents, but every now and then, I could feel his gaze on me. He was watchful, attentive, as if he wanted to make sure I was truly back to full strength.

If someone had told me a few years ago that I would fall in love and end up with Toto Wolff, I would have laughed in their face. Not because I had sworn never to fall in love or be with anyone. It was just that... Toto had always seemed out of reach. He was in a completely different league-older, experienced, the head of one of the greatest teams in F1 history. And most importantly, back then, he was married to Susie, in what seemed like a happy marriage.

But life draws its own unpredictable paths.

The last month in the Bieszczady Mountains and Austria had changed everything. We had spent every day and every night together. Shared meals, training sessions, late-night conversations, kisses, and whispered words in the darkness. Neither of us had to say it out loud-we knew we couldn't live without each other.

But now, we had to be careful.

No unnecessary gestures in the paddock, no glances lingering a second too long. Pure professionalism. At least in theory. In practice-our eyes betrayed more than we wanted them to.

"You should be more careful," Niki suddenly said, sitting to the side with an amused expression.

I raised an eyebrow, and Toto glanced at him over his papers.

"What do you mean?" he asked, though I was sure he already knew the answer.

Niki scoffed.

"Do you really think it's not obvious?" He shook his head and gestured toward us. "You might control your gestures, but the way you look at each other says it all."

Toto leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, but a faint smile played on his lips.

"You won't tell anyone," he said confidently.

Niki raised his hands in a mock defensive gesture.

"I don't have to. Anyone who knows you well enough will figure it out on their own."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling.

"Maybe that's just because you're an old fox, and nothing gets past you," I said with a teasing smirk.

Niki let out a short laugh.

"Possibly. But I'm warning you-the paddock is full of vultures. Not everyone will like this."

I knew he was right. So did Toto. But we had already made our decision.

Zandvoort would be our first test in keeping this a secret. One thing I knew for sure-no matter what happened, one thing would remain unchanged.

We were in this together.

Dutch GP, September

Just a month after the accident, I was back on track.

The Netherlands welcomed me with a sea of orange. Even as I entered Zandvoort, I could see crowds of Max's fans-thousands of people dressed in bright shirts, waving flags, holding banners, and lighting smoke flares. There was no doubt: this was his territory.

I knew this weekend wouldn't be easy. Max was my biggest rival this season, and his fans were among the most devoted in all of Formula 1. Every time I went out on track, I wasn't just battling the clock-I was facing the atmosphere they would create.

But I wasn't alone here.

Amid the orange waves, I spotted white and red. Polish flags fluttering in the wind, banners with my name, and even a massive sign that read: "We're with you, Miriell!"

My heart pounded harder.

Ever since I started racing in Formula 1, Poland had erupted in euphoria. When I won the championship, I became more than just a driver-I became a national hero.

I remembered how people once went crazy for Adam Małysz, then Robert Lewandowski, and later Iga Świątek. Now, it was me.

Wherever I went, I sparked enthusiasm. Karting in Poland was booming-tracks were popping up like mushrooms after rain, and every little girl wanted to be like Miriell Joschke.

I didn't think about it every day. But when I saw that crowd, when I heard Polish voices among the fans, it reminded me of the immense responsibility I carried on my shoulders.

It had been a few months since that moment, but the memory was still vivid.

I held a gold medal suspended from a white-and-red ribbon. The Order of the White Eagle. Poland's highest honor.

I stood on stage, facing President Trzaskowski. He was overjoyed-not just as the head of state, but as a longtime Formula 1 fan. I knew he had followed the sport for years, but seeing a Polish driver competing and winning the championship was something entirely new for him.

"Miss Miriell, we are proud," he said as he handed me the medal.

Beside me stood Toto.

He watched me with that signature half-smile of his, full of pride and tenderness, though at that time, we weren't together yet. Still, even then, he had already become more than just the head of Mercedes to the Polish people.

"The honorary Pole"-that's what they called him.

And there was some truth to it. After all, his mother was Polish, and as a child, he spoke Polish just as often as German. Later, when he started working in an international environment, Polish faded into the background, but he never forgot it.

When we met, we sometimes spoke in Polish, though it wasn't easy for him. At first, he struggled-his grammar was shaky, he occasionally lost words-but he insisted that I correct him and never switch to German or English.

"Miriell, you have to speak Polish with me. Don't let me off the hook," he would say stubbornly.

At that time, he was my boss, and I was just beginning my F1 career. I was young and reserved, and he was someone I admired-someone who intimidated me, though I'd never openly admit it. But that shared thread, the fact that we could speak in my native language, made me feel more at ease around him.

Now, when we were alone, we spoke almost exclusively in Polish. Sometimes in German too, but Polish had become our daily language.

Niki found it amusing.

"When you two start speaking Polish, it's like you're encrypting messages," he laughed. "No chance anyone else will understand."

There was a certain charm to it. We even argued in Polish in the most amusing way-especially when Toto, in the heat of the moment, started mixing Polish with German.

Polish journalists spoke with him only in our language, and Polish fans treated him as one of their own. They adored him.

Niki once joked that Mercedes was a German team with a Polish soul-thanks to me and Toto.

And maybe, just maybe, he was right.

***

I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.

Toto.

"Ready?" he asked softly, his gaze steady.

I nodded, though tension still coiled inside me. This was the first race after Spa. The first after the accident. The first real test of whether I was truly ready.

But I couldn't afford doubts. Not now.

"Always," I replied, stepping forward, ready to face my next challenge.

Mercedes Motorhome

The Mercedes motorhome was buzzing with life. I stood in the doorway for a moment, scanning the familiar faces. Mechanics, engineers, team members-people I had known for years. My people. My family.

"Look who's back!" George strode toward me with a broad smile. "You're recovering faster than I get new contracts!"

I laughed as he pulled me into a brief hug.

"I had no choice," I replied. "I have a world championship trophy to claim."

"That's the spirit," I heard James Allison's voice. He stood beside Bradley Lord, who nodded approvingly.

"Unstoppable as always," Bradley said.

That was nice. Really nice.

I felt the entire team's eyes on me-their admiration, their genuine joy at having me back. In a world where results were everything, support like this was rare.

Toto stood beside me. Close.

For a second, I wanted to reach for his hand, to squeeze it lightly, to feel the familiar warmth of his skin. But I knew I couldn't. Professionalism.

We had to play this game carefully, especially here in the paddock. Even though his gaze told me everything.

When it was time for testing, I stood next to my car. I was back. My car. My place.

I slid into the cockpit, fastening the belts, and a familiar rush of excitement filled me.

No fear. No doubt. I was ready, and I had only one goal-to beat Max and prove that I was still the best.

The Race

As the lights went out, I felt the familiar tension. Adrenaline surged through me, and my body operated almost instinctively. I was back. In my element.

The start was clean. I held my position, fending off Charles and Lando's attacks into Turn 1. Max was leading, but I wasn't going to let him enjoy that advantage for long. This was his home, his territory-but I wasn't backing down.

The first part of the race was all about strategy. Staying close to Max, managing the tires, reading the conditions. I knew my moment would come sooner or later.

And it did.

On lap 32, after a perfect pit stop, I rejoined the track right behind him. As soon as my tires reached the right temperature, I started attacking. Corner after corner, I pushed him, forcing a mistake.

And then, on lap 38, I finally made it. He had a less-than-perfect exit, and I seized the opportunity, diving around the outside. For a moment, we were side by side. I saw the determination in his eyes-but I was more determined. I didn't back off. This was the moment I lived for.

I took a deep breath, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. I knew I had to hold onto it.

Then, suddenly-pain.

It hit me like a wave. Uninvited, brutal, relentless.

Lap 45. I was leading, but every gear shift, every G-force started to take its toll. My ribs burned, every breath was like a dagger to my side.

But I couldn't give up.

"You can do this." Toto's words echoed in my head. His voice, the certainty he always had when he told me I could do anything.

I blocked out the pain. Focused on the drive. The final laps were a battle-not just against Max, but against my own body.

And then, the finish line. I crossed it first.

I had won.

Just a month after the crash. I showed them that nothing could break me.

The radio erupted with the team's cheers, but I barely registered it. I rested my head against the headrest, trying to catch my breath.

As I pulled into the pit lane and stopped the car, I knew the worst part was coming.

Getting out of the cockpit was torture. For a moment, I thought I would collapse, but I clenched my teeth and forced my body to obey.

The crowd around me was going wild. Max's fans... but mine too.

"MIRIELL! MIRIELL!"

That was something I hadn't expected. The entire paddock looked at me with admiration. Even those who had come for Max couldn't help but appreciate what I had just done.

Only Toto knew how much it had cost me. He stood there, beneath the podium. Tall, with his arms crossed over his chest, smiling, but with that familiar concern in his eyes.

My heart trembled.

The trophy didn't matter. The celebrations that would follow didn't matter.

I just wanted to step down from the podium, grab his hand, and disappear with him into the motorhome. Just the two of us.

As soon as I stepped down, people surrounded me. Congratulations came from all sides - from the team, from officials, from people I didn't even have the strength to register. I smiled, nodded, thanked them, but with each passing minute, I felt my last reserves of strength slipping away.

And then I heard his voice.

"Let her rest." Toto's voice was firm but calm. He didn't need to say it twice.

Before I could say anything, I felt his hand on my back. Gently, yet firmly, he nudged me toward the motorhome. I moved forward, but after just a few steps, my legs began to give out. Once we were out of sight, Toto wordlessly wrapped his arms around me and lifted me as if I weighed nothing. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting him carry me. I was safe now.

We reached my room. Toto stepped inside, closing the door with his foot without letting me go. When he sat down on the couch, he still held me, and I had neither the strength nor the desire to protest. I nestled into his neck, closing my eyes and soaking in his scent.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. I only felt his hands gently tracing my back, his breath near my ear, his presence - the only thing I needed right now.

"That was incredible, what you did today," he said softly, his voice smooth but filled with emotions. "You showed everyone who you are."

I lifted my head and looked at him.

"And who am I?"

His fingers brushed my cheek.

"A warrior," he said with tenderness. "You have something that can't be taught. A strength that makes people stop breathing when they watch you in action."

My throat tightened. Not from pain, but from something deeper.

"I don't know if I could have done it without you."

Toto smiled slightly.

"I know you could. But I'm glad I was here with you."

I closed my eyes, pressing closer to him.

"I don't want to go back there. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to celebrate..."

"You don't have to," he answered immediately. "You don't have to do anything you don't have the strength for."

His words were a balm to my exhaustion.

"I just want... to stay here. Like this."

"Then we stay."

I felt him gently rocking me in his arms. I was exactly where I wanted to be.

I was exactly where I wanted to be.

In his arms, in the silence, away from the crowd and the noise. Just us.

I wanted to stay like this, to let exhaustion win, to rest in his embrace. But we both knew we couldn't afford that. Not here. Not now.

I sighed softly, pulling away from his neck, but before I could say anything, I felt his hand on my nape. Toto pulled me to him and kissed me.

Fiercely, passionately, with all the intensity of emotions we had to keep hidden. His lips were hot, his hand tightened on my back as if he wanted to keep me there longer. And I wanted to stay.

"Meine kleine Löwin," he whispered when our lips parted, and I could still feel his breath on my skin.

I shivered, but it wasn't from cold. It was longing.

"Rest," he added softly.

Rest? After that kiss? After what had just happened on the track?

I clenched my fingers around his shirt and shook my head.

"I'll take a shower, my meds, and I want to celebrate with the team, at least for a little while. I owe them a lot. The car was perfectly prepared, and the pit stop was flawless."

Toto narrowed his eyes, as if debating with himself, but after a moment, he just smiled and shook his head.

"You're impossible."

"That's the role of a leader," I replied lightly, and he only sighed, knowing I wouldn't change my mind.

***

The paddock party was in full swing. Laughter, conversations, music, celebration. My team was in their element-they were rejoicing with me because this victory was theirs too. I wouldn't be here without them.

But me... I spent more time sitting in the garage than dancing among the people.

"I think we underestimated you, Miriell," I heard a familiar voice.

I looked up and saw George. He was grinning widely, but there was genuine pride in his eyes.

"In what sense?"

"We thought you'd come back strong. We didn't know you'd come back like a damn tank," he laughed, sitting down next to me and clinking his bottle against mine.

"I had no choice," I shrugged. "A world championship trophy doesn't win itself."

George chuckled and shook his head.

"You know you did something today that people will talk about for years?"

Before I could reply, another familiar voice joined in.

"That's true, Kindchen."

I lifted my head and saw Niki Lauda.

My mentor, Toto's friend, a man I had admired forever.

"You're incredible, kid," he said, giving me that piercing gaze of his. "Not many could have done this. Maybe a few."

"Like you?" I asked softly.

He smiled faintly.

"Maybe. But I never got to win a month after my accident. You did."

A warmth spread through my chest. That was one of the greatest compliments I could ever receive.

"Thank you, Niki."

"Don't thank me. Just keep doing what you're doing. Because if anyone is going to rewrite the history of this sport, it's you."

I was exhausted but happy.

The celebration was still going, and I could feel the unique energy around me-pride, joy, admiration. I was glad, but at the same time, I felt the adrenaline slowly fading, leaving room for exhaustion and the throbbing pain I was trying to ignore.

And then I saw someone walking toward me. Max.

He surprised me. He wasn't the type to hand out congratulations easily, yet... here he was.

"I wanted to congratulate you," he said, standing in front of me. There was no pretense in his voice, only genuine respect. "What you did today was... damn impressive."

I raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

"I didn't expect that from you, Max."

He shook his head in amusement.

"I know. But racing against you is a pleasure."

Those were big words, especially coming from someone like him.

"Thanks. You know there won't be any mercy in this title fight."

Max grinned.

"That's the point. It's just the two of us."

"And neither of us will back down."

"Exactly."

We shook hands, and George, who had been watching from the side, just shook his head.

"This is shaping up to be an epic battle," he said, clinking his bottle against the table.

"You'd better be ready, Russell, because we're leaving you behind," Max laughed, and I just raised an eyebrow.

"You might be in for a surprise," George muttered, but we all knew that the title fight would come down to me and Max.

***

Toto arrived later.

He didn't approach right away, didn't blend into the crowd of celebrants. He observed from a distance.

I knew him well enough to understand why. He didn't want to tempt fate. If he got too close, he might do something that would immediately be noticed. And we couldn't afford that.

But I saw the concern in his eyes. He knew I was exhausted.

He approached when most people were already preoccupied with something else.

"Come, I'll take you to your room," he said quietly, placing a hand on my back.

I didn't protest. We walked together in silence until we reached my room in the motorhome.

I stopped by the door, looking at him hopefully.

"Stay with me," I whispered.

Toto sighed, reaching up to touch my cheek.

"You know that's a bad idea, meine kleine Löwin."

I closed my eyes as his thumb gently brushed against my skin.

"I know," I replied softly.

He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. A tender gesture, full of love but also longing.

"Good night, Miriell," he said quietly before stepping away, heading toward his own room.

I closed the door, leaning against it for a moment. The lonely nights were the worst now. With a sigh, I reached for my phone and typed a short message:

"Good night, Kochanie. I love you."

I knew Toto wouldn't fall asleep until he replied.

A few seconds later, my screen lit up.

"Good night, Liebling. I love you too. You're amazing!"

----------------------------------------

NEXT -> 14. She's mine [18+]

----------------------------------------

"I put my armor on, show you how strong I am."

You can read the story here as well:

AO3 Unstoppable Series

Wattpad: Part1 I Part 2 I Part 3 | Part 4

🇵🇱 Dla Polskich czytelników [for Polish readers] [PL]:

Seria Niepowstrzymana AO3

Wattpad PL: Part1 I Part 2 I Part 3 | Part 4

[agustsmuse]

Libra | KSJ

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Genre: Non-idol AU

Synopsis: Jin surprises you with an unexpected gift on your birthday. One you'd always hoped for.

WC: 1.2k+

Posted: 18 September 2023

The air was crisp, the sky clear as you stared at the stars overhead. You just needed a few minutes, a breather, a little quiet. It was your birthday, another year swiftly passed and here you were sitting on the ridiculously overpriced outdoor couch on top of your friend’s rooftop to escape your own birthday party. You loved the gesture but so many people began to get a little too much. Hobi was hosting and he knew how to throw an amazing party.

Jin had wanted to take you out for a nice quiet dinner, that's what he'd suggested to Hobi but with Jimin's birthday just around the corner too, he simply HAD to make it a big get together.

So here you were staring at a bottle of Jack Daniels, millions of miles away from reality. Waiting for something to pull you back down but what you wanted would never come.

Or so you thought.  

The sound of a door opening caught your attention but you hadn't fully pulled yourself back to earth. The wind brought that familiar scent to you, you knew immediately who it was. You didn't have to come back to reality just yet. You were safe.

“Mind if I join you?” Jin enquired as he walked over to you. 

“It's peaceful here.” Jin assumed that was a yes and sat down next to you.

His eyes rested on you. You'd been friends with Jin for a while. He knew everything about you, remembered all the little things no one else ever cared about. There was a bond between the pair of you that neither of you had with anyone else. He loved you, but never said or did anything. The man full of confidence turned into a shy little boy whenever he was around you. 

Jin had been a serial dater for the past several months. He'd come back to you complaining about how painfully miserable the date was, how dull the conversations went and if he was feeling particularly Jin-like on those days, they couldn't handle his personality. The last one you couldn’t even remember why they broke up. Something about him putting in enough time or effort.

In the poor girl's defence, he did spend most of their relationship with you.

"Too much?" He asked, pulling you back to earth when she slipped a stray hair behind your ear. Greeting you with a soft smile. "There she is"

You blush, covering your face.

"Don't do that!" He pulled your hands away, holding them so you couldn't hide again. "It's just Jinnie."

“I appreciate the surprise” You state, in defence of your departure. Your fingertips and Jin's absentmindedly playing with the others.

“I did try to tell him but he wouldn't listen,” Jin sighed, defeated in his tone. “I wanted to take you out, have dinner, maybe a movie or both and we could have cuddled up on the couch. Just the two of us. I don't like all these people around either.”

He wasn't shy about wanting to spend time with just you, nor was he shy about his love either, admitting just how much was the problem. Jin regularly said he loved you, but you, one of two idiots in this equation, only thought it was platonic, a close friendship, the two single friends making each other feel better. He squeezed your hand to make you look up at him instead of your intertwining fingers. He felt the alcohol burn in his throat or maybe it was the words he wanted to say and really mean them. Declare that, in fact, he did not want to be just friends with you.

“Thanks for my gift” You distract from your pounding heart as you lock eyes with him. He’d given you the prettiest new necklace, one he knew you'd been eye up for quite some time. Of course, chocolates and flowers too. Your favourites, without fail. 

“You're very welcome,” he replied. "Always the best for my best girl."

Failing into a peaceful silence again, you pass the Jack between you both for a little while. 

“Can we talk?” Jin said, breaking the silence.

You nod for him to continue. Clearly something was running through his mind.

“I haven't been entirely truthful to you” He admitted, blinking nervously. Jin lied to you? He would never. You'd lose all faith in him, and men in general, if he had. He was one of the only people in your life that would never betray you. Like he could see your mind going into a panic, he quickly continued. “I met someone"

“Oh, I'm happy for you.” You lie, heart shattering into tiny little pieces. You forced a smile regardless. You'd be happy for him no matter what. 

“She's quite amazing actually.” You didn't know if you wanted to hear about this woman but his eyes lit up like dynamite and his smile was so big at just the thought of this woman, you didn't interrupt him. "She has all the right reasons to be a mean person but she's not, she's kind, patient and loving, even if sometimes people don't deserve it. I wish she knew how amazing she is and even if I told her until I was blue in the face, she probably still wouldn't believe me"

"She seems nice."

"I'm not finished" He shushed you. " You can share all of your secrets with her and know they are safe. She makes me laugh even when I don't want to laugh and without even trying too. She's helped me through some of my most difficult times and I'll never be able to tell her how thankful I am. She supports me, cares for me, loves me in ways I never thought anyone would even want too."

"Maybe you should be telling her this?" You felt sick at this point, blood boiling over a woman you didn't even know. Ready to tell your best friend and talk shit the minute the two of you were alone.

“Y/n, you’re my favourite person in this entire world, my best friend but I want to be more than that,” Jin admitted. What now? His heart raced as he scooted closer to you “I love you and I want to be yours.”  

"That's not funny, Jin." You had tears welling in your eyes.

Without hesitation, he leaned in to kiss you. He could feel you smile into the kiss, his hand caressing your cheeks.

You eventually allowed yourself to break the kiss briefly “I’ve loved you for a while. Too Long” You confessed. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Why didn't YOU say anything?" You asked with a soft giggle. 

“I... Yeah... Fair" He laughed, His brain scrambled for one coherent thought. Instead opting for the obvious...

His lips met yours again. You moved your hand from his face to his neck. His hands slipped to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. He didn't even care about the need for air until he heard applause, hollers and cheers from inside the house. The boys and their partners, which included your best friend, were standing behind the window. Your best friend and Hobi standing cuddled up with each other with shit eating grins on their faces. 

“Finally!” Yoongi yelled. 

His ears turned bright red, nuzzling his face in embarrassment into your neck as you let out a soft laugh.  

“Happy birthday, Y/n,” Jin looked at you once again with a soft smile before you pulled him in for another kiss

authors note: this fic was written for my amazing best friend, @lifeinakpopbubble's birthday. i wish you the happiest of birthdays and can't wait to see you open your gifts and spend the day with you!

i didn't plan on posting this so soon but she's impatient.

tags: @sopebubbles-read

[cru5h-cascades]

Okay I made one of these last year so might as well do it again but for this year :D

I might add some more stuff onto this if I remember anything else but for now, here's...

2024: A Year that Happened

A rundown of highlights from this year over here at Cru5htown

January - Poppy Playtime Chapter 3 releases! Public perception of the game shifts from looking down on the game to singing its praises! Side Order's release date is revealed and the crowd goes wild! Also I ended up getting my first mutual on this site, Lbodraws!

February - Side Order releases and I start work on what would go on to pretty much be my most iconic Splatoon OC, Winnie, because the Parallel Canon exists. This is also the month where I found out about Maya and the Three and started going buck wild with reposting fanart for the series and making some stuff of my own.

March - Pretty uneventful month tbh I don't remember much that happened this month.

April - The Death of Slim Shady gets announced! Because my curiosity was peaked by the announcement I started listening to more of Eminem's music and became a fan of the guy. During the same month, Jojo Siwa releases Karma and the rebrand goes into full swing.

May - Another uneventful month

June - That one debate between Trump and Biden happened and the Zelda Game Where You Actually Play as Zelda is announced. Also the iconic Other Friends animatic featuring both @eliziethegirl's and my OCs is released :D

JULY - Okay this is when shit gets WILD. LIKE ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT CRAZY. Okay so July 1st we get a release date for TDoSS, Jojo Siwa's first EP releases the same day TDoSS comes out, and Splatoon 3's first Summerfest happens that same weekend (this is also the first splatfest I ended up getting into a match with a splatuber!). Relatively normal month, right? WRONG. JULY 10TH, 2024. 3 DAYS BEFORE TDOSS RELEASES. I end up getting vids on YT talking about a mysterious "new Nintendo IP" teased that very morning. I put off looking any further into the topic until later that day and I watch a few vids on the subject matter. That morning, Nintendo posted a video onto their YT channels simply titled Emio, featuring a dude in a paper bag mask just standing there menacingly. This teaser would keep everyone guessing what tf is going on for a week until we got the full reveal and a bunch of people lost investment in the mystery bag man game. Except for me and a few others, who would go on to post frequently about the game for a while and continue to post about the game TO THIS DAY. Anyways, Biden drops out of the election and somebody tries to assassinate Trump.

August - Not only does the Co-op Cult of the Lamb update drop, but the full release of Emio as well. Man that game was a trip. Also a phone ban is enacted in my school.

September - I play the bonus chapter of Emio and boy howdy I was not ready for how dark that was gonna be. Anyways Grandfest and Grand Run happen in S3 and Team Past wins Grandfest. Here's to hoping for 2000s themed Splatoon 4 with a rock band for the idol group.

October - Deltarune Chapters 3 & 4 are confirmed to come out in 2025 :D

November - Trump, unfortunately, wins the election. But on the brighter side of things I figure out how to do Splatoon voices in Beepbox thanks to the awesome @celestedoesarttm and I start churning out my reworked versions of my Splatoon OCs.

December - Luigi Mangione murks United Healthcare CEO and everyone goes buck wild. Soon enough people start digging up stuff from the guy's past and his story becomes more and more interesting (Fun fact: did you know Luigi has played Slime Rancher, Undertale, and Celeste?). Poppy Playtime Chapter 4's release date and main villain are revealed and I couldn't help but have a sense of deja vu when they showed off Harley Sawyer's design for the chapter lmfaoooo

[shortandslytherin]

The Fake Gryffindor - Neville Longbottom x Y/N Malfoy (Part 2)

Sorry it took awhile my life got a little crazy. I'm not sure if there's typos it's 2:23AM. I'll check when I wake up.

Summary: The reader finds herself caught up in a web of lies when she accidentally is mistaken for a Gryffindor. Soon she finds herself covering up lies for Draco and her family but she might just have a few secrets of her own.

Warnings: Insecure Y/N, light angst, bullying, Umbridge exists, Y/N lies a lot, and mention of death.

Notes: Y/N is Draco's twin. Y/N will have she/her pronouns. She's obviously going to look like Draco but occasionally will change that. In the occasions when she changes that I'll use (h/c) or (e/c). If you are blonde or have blue eyes just use whatever colors you'd like. I'll also use (Y/N/N) which means your nickname but that will make more sense later on.

September 1995

Exactly three days had passed since Neville Longbottom called you the prettiest girl in Gryffindor. You had deflected. He called you perfect, you said you weren't. Now you couldn't stop thinking about how you'd told him that he was perfect. You also had called him awkward and clumsy. You felt terrible that he was friends with this Gryffindor girl that didn't exist. You should have just told him. Your guilt had you staring at your reflection and wondering if was true that you were pretty. It didn't feel true. You might as well have been what Draco would look like as a girl; in fact that's exactly correct. But you were trying to stare deeper than your reflection. You didn't remember much from your younger years but you remembered that at a Christmas Ball your parents held you'd been told pretty is on the inside. The woman who said it proceeded to call you adorable so you had assumed she didn't think you had a pretty personality. She was right. Later that night you'd thrown a tantrum because you were tired and your father wasn't ready to end the party.

But now at fifteen you didn't think you could get away with throwing a tantrum. So you'd just have to stare in the mirror until it made sense. You'd never been so unsure of yourself. But one thing you knew for sure, Slytherin and Gryffindor didn't mix. You were rival houses for so long that many people just continued the rivalry even if they had nothing to do with the reason that it had all started. You sighed softly and pulled your eyes from the mirror before hurriedly getting ready for class and rushing off. It was today that world decided to test your ability to keep a promise. Neville had done good to stay out of the path of the Slytherins; he'd much too busy looking for his Gryffindor mystery girl. No one knew who she was. Not even the professors seemed to know who this girl was. There was one professor who had a pretty good idea but he wasn't about to confront you about your personal life. But both you and Neville seemed to be unlucky today.

When you turned the corner to get Herbology, you saw Draco and his entourage bullying some poor kid. You sighed and started walking up to them ready to play your part that was written from birth but you heard Pansy speak and stopped dead. "Draco, you can't honestly believe that his little girlfriend exists? I mean look at him." Crabbe and Goyle laughed at her comment. Blaise didn't react. From your vantage point, you could see his facial expression and he looked like he was forced to be there. Draco, however, spoke. "Oh no she's very real. I was in the hall when the met. It was almost pathetic. He was crying over something Snape said and she bumped into him. But she didn't seem like the type to ghost someone." Your brother's words set a bomb off in your brain. You refused to be the topic they used to bully someone you barely knew. You rushed your way over to the greenhouse and narrowed your eyes at Draco. He slung his arm over your shoulders. "We were just telling Longbottom here th-" He quickly gets cut off by your sharp tone. "I heard what you were telling him. Just leave him alone. So what if he has an imaginary friend? You did until you were like twelve." You say in a harsh tone and risk a glance at Neville.

He looks at you with a little hatred but also thankfulness. A combination that makes your stomach churn. But there's a sense of familiarity in his eyes that you can't escape. You feel like you've got some so secret tether to him and you can't help but find it enjoyable.

Harry Potter had been in detention quite a few times for speaking out in class when you'd finally heard the rumors. There was rumors of a pen that Umbridge was using to make students write lines. When they wrote lines it would engrave the words into their skin. You'd been wanting to get your hands on this pen for days now. It didn't matter if the cut would appear Y/N Malfoy. Y/N/N L/N needed to make an appearance before people really thought Neville made up an imaginary girl. It really had started to seem like that and you'd felt bad. You were going to fix it.

"Sis, is this really a good idea?"

"Look, Draco, only I can put an end to these imaginary girlfriend jokes."

"And that requires you getting hurt?"

"Longbottom has to think I was ashamed to talk to him."

You change the color of your uniform tie to Gryffindor. Afterwards you changed your hair color and eye color. "There. Now I'm ready for Umbridge's class." Draco looked at you confused. "I don't understand the goal here." You look at your uniform and laugh slightly. "Well first of all, Y/N/N L/N gets seen in a class which gives her the illusion of being real. Second of all, I get a break from being hit on by Zabini. Finally, I will be able to cause trouble in class."

"What's so bad about Zabini?"

"He's too cocky. I don't care if mom says it's a good match. He'd be a terrible boyfriend."

"Okay. What about Nott?"

"Draco, can we talk about this later? Little busy right now." You respond as you walk into class. You unceremoniously drop down next Neville. It seemingly throws Seamus Finnigan off guard. "Hey, Neville. Sorry, I disappeared on you I've been feeling a little sick." Neville raised his eyebrows. "You know none of the Gryffindor girls seem to remember you?" You nod. "It's expected. I tend to keep to myself..." He seems to accept this answer but the feeling of guilt and ugliness rears it's head in your throat once again. It starts to feel like you might throw up when you hear Umbridge start laying into Harry again. You stand up and slam your hands the desk. "Oh whatever. It was murder. It wasn't murder. Who cares? Cedric is dead and frankly I want to learn something."

"I don't believe we've met yet miss...?"

"Uhh...we have and it's Y/N/N L/N."

"How have not given an outspoken girl like you detention yet,Miss L/N?"

"I usually end up in trouble with Professor Snape first...." Quite a few people, mostly Slytherins, laughed at that comment.

"Detention during study hall."

"Yes ma'am."

You stay quiet the rest of the class period. You weren't even sure what caused you to get angry at that very moment. You had everything planned out. You were going to argue with Draco when he inevitably made fun of a Gryffindor. But your own ugly behavior reared full force ahead instead.

When Study Hall came around all whispers were about you. It seemed no one knew your name. But maybe that was better. You walked into Umbridge's office for detention and sighed at the pink office. Everything was pink. It was disgusting; even when you were a child you didn't like pink that much. "Professor Umbridge... I'm here for my detention..." She set a piece of paper and quill in front of you. The quill you wanted so badly to see. It wasn't even because of the reasons you'd told Draco. You could really care less what Neville Longbottom did or didn't believe you. The truth was you wanted to see how how it worked for yourself. You were sick of rumors that Umbridge was using a magic quill to cause the scars. You had to see for yourself. "I want you to write 'I will not speak out in class' one hundred times. You'll know when you're finished." You immediately start and cringe at the pain of the quill writing into your skin. It wasn't a lie. She really was scarring students but you wouldn't say a word of it to Draco. You just quietly worked through your detention; letting out a whimper of pain occasionally. You left the office when the scar was fully present on your arm. The second you left the room, you looked at the words and you didn't even feel angry. There were tears stinging your eyes but they weren't from Umbridge's detention. Her detention was immeasurable to the pain you felt when you remembered you had an ugly heart. You were still deceiving Neville. And for what? What did you gain from him not getting bullied? A clear conscious? Definitely not. You couldn't let this go on. You had to tell him the truth. But as you walked back to the Slytherin common room reversing the color charms, you realized why you couldn't. He would hate you for being a Malfoy. But more than that he'd hate you for lying. You covered your arm with your sleeve and tried to rush to your dorm. But you were stopped by your head of house. "Show me your arm."

"Please, Professor, don't do this. It's fine."

"I'm not asking as your professor."

You held out the wrong arm and he nodded softly. "Head on, up to bed." He didn't say anything else as you ran off to your dorm.

The next morning, you walked up to the Gryffindor table with every intention of telling Neville the truth. But you choked. You instead said the first thing that came to mind. "I heard I missed your girlfriend yesterday. Too bad I had the twenty four hour flu. Draco couldn't stop rambling about it." Neville looked at you annoyed. "She's not my girlfriend. We're just friends. Did you actually need something? Or did you come here to mock me?" You looked at him shocked. That was a good question but you didn't know. "Well actually....I was hoping..." You looked at the Gryffindor table for an excuse. "We could have some of your pumpkin juice? We never get enough at our table. I mean I'm sure we get plenty but it's always empty." You cast a glare at your brother's cronies before looking back at the Gryffindors' confused expressions. Hermione Granger is the one who speaks up. "Get lost,Malfoy." You smirk at her and lean over the table to look at her. "Oh you just wait. You'll get yours, mudblood." You walk away and drop down next to Draco miserably. You feel even more miserable as Blaise Zabini tries to court you. Arranged marriage really does suck. You pretend to be interested and flirt back just to appease the eyes of others. But honestly this is just more ugly behavior. You could care less if he falls for you or not. You want to marry someone who wouldn't leave you to take care of the house alone.

October 1995

Everything was fine between your alternate persona and Neville until September 24th. He came to your spot talking about how you should join some revolution that Harry Potter started. You rejected this idea saying that your parents were way too strict about pureblood supremacy and worked for the Ministry. You told him that you'd surely get in trouble. Every date since that one he'd tried to convince you that you could make a difference in the world. Eventually you told him you were going to act like he never told you about it so he might as well not bring it up. And that's how things were. It was October 4th when the first meeting was held and you only knew that because that was the first time he'd cancelled plans on you.

[queeniecook]

Mid Summer of last year

Ever since the warlock James had paid Inna a surprise visit, thoughts had been swirling around in her mind. She doesn't have any intentions of being a part of his plan, but to say she got curious would be correct. She spent hours searching the internet on this Vera Grant. Of course she found things like a simbook profile and a profile on the new big thing - the social bunny media app. Inna has to have them all due to her career. Smartly, Vera seems to have all her personal stuff hidden to where only her friends can see it. But the more she stared at the profile picture of Vera on simbook, the more she reminded her of someone, she just couldn't put her manicured finger on it until she went on a stroll down on the Del Sol Valley walk of fame. She was casually reading the stars, like she usually does - vowing one day her name will be there too - when she saw it. Right beneath her feet, the star that reads "Evie Grant." It all clicked together. Armed with the new information, she spent even more hours googling Vera Grant and her family. She finally had to stop when the information ran out after Evie married a man named Paka'a Uha and became pregnant with her first child. It seems Evie wanted to drop out of the spotlight for the most part after that. Only a few appearances happened for charity up until her death.

It changed nothing. She just found it interesting, that was all. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Who is the girl in my kitchen, Vlad?" Inna questions. She had asked him here for information, not to play hostess to someone she doesn't know. Not that she minds playing hostess but she prefers to have a heads up first. 

"Do not mind the child, she is simply cooking." One of her mentors tells her. The other half, Elle DeVampiro, is currently over in Italy at one of the pairs' many Villas. 

"You don't usually travel with witches..."Inna trails off, something isn't right about the situation. 

"Very smart of you to keep food in your kitchen, dear one. Just in case you need to entertain those who require mortal food." Vlad continues in his usual tone. Not bothered by the young vampires' proding. "You wanted information, yes?"

Inna just looks at him and bites her tongue not to make a snarky comment, both Vlad and Elle did a lot for her over the years. She pretty much made it impossible for Lilith to help her after Caleb turned her and Lilith had no choice but to hand her over to Vlad and Elle. They helped her tame her blood lust, which she would always be grateful for. She has never killed anyone, something she feels happy about. Her mentors also taught her about the finer things in life and etiquette, while also opening doors for her in the field she loves - acting. "I would be much obliged."

"Vera Grant-Uha is her legal name and she is indeed the child of Evie Grant. She also has a brother, Apollo, who lives in Sulani with his wife, Naya and son Apollo Grant Junior. Miss Grant currently resides in the village town of Henford-on-Bagley. Miss Grant and Caleb Vatore are set to wed on September 20th of this year in Windenburg." Vlad supplies, it wasn't hard for him to get someone to gather the information. Money is a great tool at his disposal.

Inna nods and glances at the witch in her kitchen briefly, who was still cooking, before looking back at the vampire in front of her. "Thank you, Vlad. You always come through for me."

This earns a smile from the elder vampire. He's not quite as old as Count Straud himself but close. "I have to ask, out of concern. You know that even though I did not turn you I am quite fond of you, dear one." Vlad pauses before asking"Are you planning to see Caleb Vatore again?"

Inna looks at him and shakes her head. "No. I won't lie and say I'm not curious about who has finally stole his cold undead heart. I'm also a bit worried, does she know what she's getting herself into?"

"If you are concerned he may turn her against her wishes as he did you, you need not." Vlad assures her before speaking again because he can tell Inna is confused. "He can't turn her. Vera comes from a long line of merfolk. "

Inna blinks, truly stunned. She kind of wishes her mentor had lead with that bit of information to start with.

[black-arcana]

DISTURBED Performs 'Don't Tell Me' With HALESTORM's LZZY HALE In Sydney, Australia

Video of DISTURBED performing the "Divisive" album track "Don't Tell Me", featuring a guest appearance by HALESTORM's Lzzy Hale, on March 23 at Knotfest Australia in Sydney, Australia can be seen below.

DISTURBED played "Don't Tell Me" with Lzzy for the first time two days earlier at Knotfest Australia in Melbourne. A short time later, DISTURBED singer David Draiman shared a couple of backstage and onstage photos of him with Lzzy and he included the following message: "Thanks so much to @officiallzzyhale of @halestormrocks for absolutely nailing @annwilson 's part in #donttellme last night at @knotfestau".

In January, DISTURBED released the Matt Mahurin-directed music video for "Don't Tell Me". The song, an epic emotionally charged duet with HEART's Ann Wilson, marked the first time the band had included a guest feature on an LP.

Regarding how the collaboration with Wilson came about, DISTURBED drummer Mike Wengren told Terrie Carr of WDHA-FM 105.5 FM: "That was always supposed to be the 'power ballad,' per se. And as we were tracking it in the studio, David just threw out the idea, 'Hey, let's do a duet on this song.' We've tossed around the idea before, but there wasn't ever either the right material or the right time. So in this particular case, we kind of said, 'Well, who you've got in mind?' And he didn't even have a list; he just had one person, and that was Ann. It was a no-brainer. 'Hey, let's hit up Ann. Let's see if she'd be into it.' And she was on board right away; we didn't have to convince her."

Mike continued: "[David and Ann] sort of struck up a bit of a friendship, a little bit of a rapport. When [DISTURBED cover version of] 'The Sound Of Silence' came out years back and had its success, she was one of many artists and celebrities that took it up themselves to go on Twitter and praise the song and praise our version of it, which we couldn't have been more honored. Iconic, legendary Ann Wilson thinks that we did a great job with a SIMON & GARFUNKEL cover. That's pretty incredible, a pretty great honor. So when we reached out to her, she was more than willing to jump on board. And she came in and she killed it… And she's super cool and down to earth too, and just incredibly talented. It's such an honor to have her be on our record. And to me, the blending of her voice and David's voice, they really, really work so well together. I'm so proud of David and just so honored to have her a part of our record."

In September 2022, DISTURBED guitarist Dan Donegan, whose divorce inspired "Don't Tell Me", told Meltdown of Detroit's WRIF radio station about the band's collaboration with Wilson: "Early in our career, we wanted to really establish ourselves without having any guests. We didn't really talk about it much, but just [felt], 'This is the band.' Not that we were ever against it, but this far along in our career… We're always pushing ourselves, trying to do stuff that's different musically. And there's so much talent out there and so many people we would love to do collaborations with now or later in our career.

"Ann Wilson had mentioned before — she tweeted about us before," he continued. "A few years back, somebody asked her in an interview or whatever if there's anything new out there, or newer, musically that she's heard that she's fan of, and she mentioned she really loved our version of 'The Sound Of Silence'. And that kind of opened the door to a social media friendship between her and David a bit. And then when we wrote this song, it just seemed like it would lend itself to Ann's voice and then trying to see that merge between her and David's voices together. She jumped on the opportunity. Immediately she responded, and we were, like, 'Holy shit. She just said yes to this.'"

Asked by Meltdown if "Don't Tell Me" is a more mellow track than the standard DISTURBED fare, Dan said: "I can't give it away, but their voices, it's like Fergie and Jesus — a little 'Step Brothers' [2008 movie] quote there… It was a pretty magical moment to be in the room and to hear the two of them harmonize together.

"We tracked David's vocals in Nashville, and we wanted to make it easy and convenient for her, 'cause we were, like, she said yes, she's gonna do it," Donegan continued. "Let's make it as easy as possible on her.' We flew out to California to meet with her. We went into a studio out there for just a couple of hours, and she sang against David's tracks. And he was there kind of going over the harmonies with her and stuff too. So it was kind of a really magical moment to see the two of them working on those harmonies together. It was pretty impressive. And she's such a pro, and she's so damn good. She's a legend. So it was pretty exciting. And it's not like she sits there and jumps on people's albums either, so we take that as a badge of honor to think that there's not many times where somebody as big a legend as she is that she would jump on any album. She doesn't have to, and she chose to be on this one. And she loves the track. And it just came together great."

Released in November 2022, "Divisive" was recorded earlier that year with producer Drew Fulk (MOTIONLESS IN WHITE, LIL PEEP, HIGHLY SUSPECT) in Nashville, Tennessee.

According to Billboard, "Divisive" sold 26,000 equivalent album units in its first week of release, with 22,000 units via album sales.

On the all-format Billboard 200 chart, "Divisive" debuted at No. 13.

DISTURBED has had five No. 1s on the all-genre chart, beginning with "Believe" in 2002.

[inkycherie]

I have had the most amazing summer. In July, my best friend came to visit. I brought her to Paris (her first time), showed her around my town and other neighbouring cities around Geneva, and we drove to the south of France. I made different meals for everyone to enjoy, danced to the loveliest music, and drank the best wine(s).

The third week of August, I went back to the Philippines. We had a long overdue family reunion. Our uncle from Canada also came to visit with his family, and my cousin who works for months at a cruise ship extended his vacation.

We all flew to Zamboanga del Sur to surprise my grandma and our extended family whom we haven't seen in 13 years ! We spent a week there living the simple life, eating pandesal for breakfast, and singing karaoke kahit brownout.

The first few days of September, I spent back in my hometown. I saw Bowie again. I didn't let any minute pass without cuddling him. Whenever I'm in the PH and everyone else is back home, my sisters and I stay in one bedroom with our parents (and Bowie), chatting away until we all fall asleep. These nights were even more special because we were all cooped up in one room while there was a storm outside. Felt just like the good old days when my sisters and I would spend nights holed up in our parents room trying to pass the time until electricity was back on.

I was also sooo happy to walk around the malls with Christmas music already playing in the background ! We bought surprise presents for our parents. My sisters and I chipped in to buy papa his dream TV, and mama a new iPhone. The rest of my money I spent on groceries, more presents for the fam, pasalubongs for Jon, books, Cheetos, Spicy Century Tuna, Vienna sausages, and Spam. lol

We spent my last week in Manila. Took mama, my sisters, and our aunt on a date - brunch in Wildflour and shopping at Rockwell, and then continued to shop in MOA. I wanted to make dinner for everyone, so I made sinigang na baboy which was perfect for the stormy weather. We had drinks with our cousins before bed (red horse, spicy Oishi, and isaw at bbq).

The next day, I brought my parents to IKEA so I can buy them stuff for the house. I could tell mama was so excited to drive back home so she can start using everything we got. Uncle flew back from Zamboanga later than everyone else so the day after he arrived, he went straight to the condo so we can spend more time with him. We asked him to make lola's bistek Tagalog as he is the only one who can make it exactly the way lola does. I am glad to report that I watched him closely as he was making it - even volunteered to be the sous chef - so I will make it for dinner tomorrow.

The day before my flight, the entire family celebrated my aunt and cousin's birthdays. I made some of my specialty meals, and we ordered a bunch of other food. Of course, there was cake.

I flew back to Switzerland on the 7th. I arrived on Friday at 8 in the morning, unpacked my stuff, ate pancit canton, and fell asleep at 16hr. I woke up at 3am still tired, but I managed to clean up and do all the laundry. I was hanging clothes at the balcony even before the sun was out. I found it hilarious. The rest of the day, I spent on the couch still feeling quite sluggish and brushing off the fact that I was having chills, and my nose wouldn't stop running.

Jon and I went on a quick café date and I couldn't taste the coffee nor the pastry I ordered which I found strange but thought nothing of. We did errands and bought groceries but I started feeling sicker as the hours passed. As soon as we got home, I checked to see if I had covid. The test came out positive. Dinner wasn't much fun. I was much sicker so I couldn't enjoy the food Jon prepared for me - he made me the perfect steak which I couldn't taste hahaha and some soup to make me feel better.

This morning, I woke up at 5am and called my family right away. The symptoms are getting worse, and now I have chills, body pains, and constant headache. I will rest more so I can feel better by tomorrow. I just find this to be a silly end to an incredible summer.

[growling]

What's going on with akatsuki and t9.....

ok so basically

direction issues and constant reworks during development, leading to the 5-year long development time, around the time of release and even after employees were on a crunch with long development hours

Akatsuki had a policy that "those who do not have a sense of belonging" will be excluded, leading employees to resign, and "removing those who cannot keep up"

the game EOS'd like 3 months into being released (and I thiiink a few more since the first playtest + the time before they nuke it in september which is how people started now calling it Tribe Nine Months To Live)

before/after(??idk) that they fired the entire dev team which I don't know if that's like a standard thing for game companies that they do idk I'm getting familiar in any way

many people in the dev team were actually very passionate about the game, really loved it despite the stress and the working hours and wanted it to go somewhere. members of the team tried to continue and were willing to volunteer, but the company refused

ok now complaining time: the in-game handling of the eos also sucks assss like I don't knoww I mean the game's dying you could at least like rerun all the banners or unlock all the characters or release what you got finished with the chapters or other content for people so they hate you slightly less or like something like I dunno would that like take away profits or something if they did that?? But also game's dead so I don't know?? Instead every event banner was deleted, Ichinosuke was a playable and finished character in ch3 that was supposed to run on the day of the EOS however now you can't get him anymore even though he's literally finished and was already in-game cause there is no banners anymore. And also like a week-or-so after eos they ran a "maintenance" in which they straight up deleted even more features that had a timer, like there is now no contract/"battle pass" feature, ranked XB matches are completely gone, Fractal Vice is still kinda up but there is no weekly events where certain patimons are more likely so now it's just random always. And like mannn I don't get ittt why don't you just extend the timer or something like there is barely any point in playing the game anymore since you can't do anything why is it still up until septemberrrr Akatsuki would that really be that hard like legitimately I don't get it. Would making the game playable until it officially dies be that undoable like I don't knowww But also most people are mad about Ichinosuke since he was literally in the game already but whatever. whatever this is just a complaining zone not like i care or anything.........

also something something related to their handling of refunds which made people pissed (apparently its made the refunding process very annoying for people?) but i don't really understand it any more than just that soooo that is All for this bullet point

Apparently Akatsuki has a history of making gacha games, getting all the money they could from them and then eos'ing as soon as it's not apparent it's not gonna become the next Genshin or something while also like barely promoting them at all, then announcing another then repeat

Akatsuki was inspired by Mihoyo's way of developing games which. I don't know much about Mihoyo development but from what I can gather then whattda hell waterboarding couldn't get that out of me

They also for some reason keep deleting streams and interviews about it?? But people also noticed and started archiving everything related to T9 so at least I think most of it won't be lost forever

Tribe Nine dev team come to my house. I will provide for us. Also I'm probably forgetting something but that's the gist of it pretty much hope that's coherent

[xtrablak674]

[From my Livejournal - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 1:17pm - edited for clarity]

Ho hum bored. I seriously need a new client. My work with the body.com is cute and all but it isn't going to be enuff to support this "workless" phase of mine, by September though it will be a full year since i worked, which i think will be so totally cool.

[I don't recall exactly how long I did web-based design work for The Body, maybe a couple of years? I think Bonnie was my contact there she would send me little projects, and I would get a little money for them. I recall designing two different tote bags along with a redesign of the Visual AIDS website, a hub for the artwork of HIV positive artist, amongst other things. It was a cute remote gig. I would say I was a little bit designer a little bit production artist. I think I did some coding too for them since it was also in my skill set.]

I am very happy to not have worked or had the desire to work that long. Its been so therapeutic, But I really need to make a bigger effort to find some client work to do, so I can continue my respite. I got this guy i am sort of talking too, the funny thing is i am not really obsessing over him, or thinking about him a lot like I usually do with new guys i am dating, I guess since I am so wrapped up in my own life, I don't really have time for him...

But I guess with basketball every weekday, I am keeping myself more busy outside. Wednesday is comic book day, where i usually shoot some hoops in the morning, then go to the comic book shop later in the day, and then go chill in the park and read my comics, being careful not to interfere with the bees, whom always seem to still be at work when I am there. I feel bad, if bees are out working and collecting honey etc.

[I still have my black basketball in my house. I sort of forgot about my basketball months, down on the other end of Washington Avenue just beyond Myrtle Avenue. I was no Kareem Abdul Jabbar I was just looking for an activity to get me out of the house, the two mile walk, one there and one back was good a long with the running around of playing basketball. I wasn't old at this time but not necessarily a teenager either.

I would stop collecting comic books I think in 02 or 03, I couldn't financially support the expenditure of what thirty to forty bucks per week anymore. It would take me another few decades before I even looked at comics beyond the early aughts. And then even later where I would just download bootleg digital comics, since they take up no physical space.]

Why do i have the right to be chilling and not working?? Well its has a lot to do with the fact that I have had to deal with so much responsibility all my life, its my time to live with very few responsibilities, and I am very happy about my decision, truly happy. And I really want to keep this lifestyle up, doing this project based work. In which I am just in and out. DONE.

[This is something very very real for me, due to my mom's parentification, hold for explanatory comma,

Parentification or parent–child role reversal is the process of role reversal whereby a child or adolescent is obliged to support the family system in ways that are developmentally inappropriate and overly burdensome. For example, it is developmentally appropriate for even a very young child to help adults prepare a meal for the family to eat, but it is not developmentally appropriate for a young child to be required to provide and prepare food for the whole family alone

Now my mom wasn't having me purchase food for for the family, but she was emotionally burdening me with the fiscal responsibilities of the household which was totally in appropriate. I had no clue how to help her make ends meet, at nine, or how to cover the rent, or find the money for a car repair. But I did attempt to give ideas or advice, and right when I found her dead I was going to ask her if I could get a job delivering papers so I could earn money for the house.

I don't think it was her intention to be developmentally inappropriate with her child, I think she just lacked a good support system of friends as an adult raising three children under the age of ten by herself. The fact that I was so emotionally tuned into her feelings and moods, and my natural intellect made me appear to be more mature than I really was.

This followed me into adulthood where I always felt the need to be so responsible at all times, working myself into the ground like I had three children at home to raise, which wasn't the case at all. This jobless time I think was very healing for me emotionally because it let me realize that I can let my hair down, contemplate my navel if I so choose, or sit out in the park on a sunny day and read comic books while trying to avoid upsetting the bees.]

I was hoping the wedding site http://www.sheilaandjoel.com would generate more business, but it has not. I know Joel and Sheila are trying their best, but they have lives and are tryin to buy a new house etc. Ugh the married life. I still hold a lot of resentment towards, married couples and couples in general, I know its in part because I have spent like 99.9% of my existence not with a couple...

[This remains true, not that I am anti-couple, but that I have been single and continue to be. My very few relationships, have been so inconsequential to my overall life that I could nearly say they never happened. I am of two minds about couples, one is I love a beautiful Black couple, but I also am leery of them because usually when your friends have kids that friendship is all but over.]

Which make me wonder about this new guy Chilly Willy, that is the code name for him, me and my ex Tony have code names for everyone, its more out of silliness then anything. There is BJ Cuddles, and Poca Suave, and Demanda Melange, Crystal Dishes, Julie, Lurch, and now Chilly Willy has joined the group, I actually think its an amusing way to talk about boyfriends, best-friends and ex's. It makes the conversations that much more interesting.

[I was thinking at first Chilly Willy was this guy from Detroit named Darren, who is a ginger, and I did have a crush on him. But that never went anywhere and I Mos Def didn't talk with him on the phone. I am sure if I took a look on my laptop I could find photos of this Chilly Willy which was basically his screen-name. I can tell you now that it went no where, I don't think we ever connected in person.

Tony was so brilliant with these nicknames that I think I can recall everyone here:

BJ Cuddles - Mark Payne

Poca Suave - Paul Soave

Demanda Melange - Adam Melaney

Crystal Dishes - Christian

Julie - Julien Gutherie

Lurch - I think Lurch is Eric Acklowitz, cause who else could it be?

Squirt Jocky - Darin Ross

Jeffie Poo - Jeff Casto]

I spent all day in the house yesterday, I am realizing one of my bigger expenditures is entertainment, and as my tap is running low, I have to try to cut expenses even more. And stop going to see like 5 movies a week even if i'm only paying for 2 or 3 of them. I need to find other, low budget thing to do with myself, I would bike more, but i so prefer long distance biking with a partner. And since me and BJ Cuddles are not speaking now, long story, I don't have a partner to go out and chill with, our last big ride was like 50 miles, I felt so buzzed after that trip.

As my personal trainer says Jeffie Poo, my body just craves for the exercises, I wonder how he knows this, is it just my body type, or does he know something that i don't know.

I wish he was more confident of his sexuality i would have dated him in a hot minute, even though he probably couldn't stand me in an intimate relationship. I think he just put on that he likes me, he knows i am a horror.

[The entry before this one and this one I say things that don't make sense to me. In the last entry I said I had a crush on BJ Cuddles, and I was like WTF? I have always been fond of Mark and his bipolar ass, we of course met sexually, then we became friends doing a lot of biking around Brooklyn together since at this time he lived over in Park Slope just a neighborhood over. But me catching feelings for him doesn't feel right, I mean we didn't even fuck, he was just an oral partner.

But Jeff wasn't gay. His very non-toxic masculinity lead our supervisor who hired him to think he was too, I remember her with all confidence telling the rest of the staff this, but then having to walk it back and apologize. But Jeff wasn't gay, he would say he had a gay brother, which he does.

Now had I caught feeling for Jeff working with him? Yes. Jeff has such a gentle energy, and is always so frictionless it made it hard for me not to fall for him. He's also quite fit, not that I ever saw him unclothed, but I could see how his clothes fell on his body and he was lean muscle. He could always just diffuse stressful situations so effortlessly and was always a pleasure to be around. I totally had a crush on Jeff, and frankly probably still do.]

Anyway, back to chilly willy, We spoke on the phone for like 6 hours, and that was our first real conversation, i was dominating most of it but then he filled out at my request, I know i have a tendency to blab, esp since i don't really have a best friend right now, or anyone who i spend exclusively a lot of time with, I just had a lot of things to talk about that i don't usually get the time to talk with anyone about.

That has definitely been one sacrifice of me cutting people off or not dealing with unhealthy relationships. I don't always have people to bounce things off of. I seem to make due, but in this awkward new dating thing, I don't know how to shut up, but its fine, i gotta be me, or he has just got to be gone.

I wasn't really looking for anyone which is the most curious of all of this. But i guess thats when someone shows up. All my friend think he is cute, I am still a bit out on that, it may just be the pictures, I will photograph him personally so he has better pictures to send out. I am so silly but i am so in love with my own pictures. Well the boys must love them they keep using them on their sites. Tony has my photos up, and so does bj cuddles and squirt jocky. So i guess i am doing the right thing somewhere. Oh well maybe i should listen to a few more Seeing-eye theatres from the sci-fi channel and chill for a bit. ttyl

[Photos by Brown Estate]