#i think this is also how they react when something functions without exploding first

[lazylittledragon]

glorious ovulation pt 2 :'))

(continuation of this)

[mushroom-crew]

Reunions Pt 2

@offederationsfuture

Tilly groggily looks up from where she'd fallen to the floor, her hand coming up to her head on instinct. Sparks are flying everywhere. Groans and quick shuffling from other crew members resound as everyone tries to get back to their stations after that last wave out of the wormhole. Tilly barely manages to stand, finding her way to her own station and looking at the readings. "Feels like my head is in a vice"

"Tidal forces from the wormhole. Like G-force, but nastier." Reno pops up from where she'd managed to get up herself. "Must've knocked us all out, including my damn back." She groans, right as the ship hits something like an asteroid field, sending everyone spinning again.

Tilly barely holds on for dear life. Shields are down. They don't have navigation or warp. They barely have a way to land themselves down on the planet. Detmer manages to get them lodged in a patch of ice, successfully stopping them from exploding on impact with the surface, but still sending everyone flying again in the process.

It becomes abundantly clear once they land that they don't have communications, or truly any of the ship's functions online, outside of life support. Tilly's heart aches in her chest. "Michael's alone."

The words hang in the air for a moment. Saru takes a breath and begins to address the crew. "We are completely disconnected at present, yes. But. We are also together, and alive. If Commander Burnham landed elsewhere, I trust she is aware that we will find her as soon as we are able."

They go about repairs, quickly and efficiently. Tilly throws herself into her work. There's nothing else she can do right now. If she stops for even a moment, she knows she'll break down. Michael, somewhere out there, all alone. Their daughter, left behind in the past with no way of reaching them. She knows that if she lets herself think about it, the weight of it all will crush her.

She still can't tell them exactly where they are, but she finally gets the scans back of the nearby surroundings. What she finds is enough to give her a weary smile. In a flash, she's rushing off to find Saru and explain her findings. Pockets of air on the surface meant for sustaining life. Pockets that must have been made. She finds him checking on repairs in a hallway, and she quickly falls into step with him as she talks.

He looks down at her with a sad look. "Then we are not on Terralysium."

"No, sir." She shakes her head, tears springing back into her eyes for a moment, before she continues. "But there is evidence of an active settlement in one of these pockets, so there... There's life."

"There is... Life." Saru takes a moment to take that in. It worked. Their plan worked. Control did not destroy this future. No matter what, they have to hold onto that fact. Their mission was not a failure.

Their joy is short lived, however, when they discover that one of their communication transtators is need of a complete rebuild. Without the parts they need on the ship, Saru and Tilly brave the outside world, hoping to find help from the local settlement. Philippa demands to go with them, but Saru refuses. He cannot let her interfere with their first contact to the outside world.

The walk to the settlement is long and Tilly talks the whole way there. She's terrified of not knowing where they are, of what it means now that they're here. So many things could go wrong. So many things already have. Saru lets her talk, his own mind still reeling with all of the things that have happened. All he can do is trust in his crew, and trust that they'll find a way out of this mess. The way they always do.

When they reach the settlement, they're almost immediately held at gun point by the locals, who seem just as confused by them being Starfleet as they do by how they're reacting. It's a standoff until they come to a deal. Some of Discovery's dilithium for help with repairs and information.

Things are going well, until Zareh, the courier who's been exploiting the colonists, shows up and causes trouble. He demands that they take him to the Discovery, and kills one of the colonists when Saru refuses to do so. It's enough to make him decide to bargain, offering to give the courier some of their dilithium in exchange for their freedom and the safety of the colonists.

Once a deal is struck, Zareh turns to Tilly, slowly beginning to walk towards her. "Now you. I genuinely like you. I believe you'll come back with my property. So you're gonna go get me that dilithium. How about we wait here, where it's cozy. But be quick, Ensign. Come nightfall, the ice... well it does what parasites do. It infests everything. I've seen it get down someone's throat. But you look like you can handle yourself. Maybe you can outrun it. Explosives help. You forge yourself a path back to us once it's dark. Okay, sweetheart?"

Before she can answer, one of his men finds Philippa around the perimeter, dragging her into the bar with a surprising amount of ease. She stumbles in, still as cocky and assured as ever. "Did I interrupt a critical moment of diplomacy?"

Zareh lets out a dry chuckle and moves to sit down at the bar. "A one-woman tactical response. V'Draysh has officially reached its nadir."

Philippa just smirks and rolls her eyes. "A fancy vocabulary doesn't mean you're scary. It means you have a thesaurus."

"Shoot her," He growls out.

"No, shoot him! He's gonna get you killed." Philippa looks at the one holding her at gunpoint expectantly. "This is when you ask why."

He lets out a small sigh and raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

Philippa grins widely, like the cat that got the canary. "Glad you asked. You think you're the only ones that saw a big ship fall from the sky? He knows your competitors probably detected the ship, and they're already on their way. But he hasn't told you, you're too weak to take them out, and you don't have the firepower."

"Enough!" Zareh rises from his seat, and pulls his own weapon, aiming it at her.

"I'm gonna enjoy this new world. If this idiot can run a settlement, then imagine what I could do in my sleep."

He shoots her as she turns to face him, the laser beam hitting her in the shoulder. It's not enough to kill her, but it's enough to send her reeling. "You've got a mouth, but I've got a gun."

He shoots her several times like that, having a sadistic sort of enjoyment in torturing her. She looks to Saru from where she's fallen to the ground, and he nods in understanding.

She gives it another moment before she rises to her feet, that self-assured smirk coming back to her face. Zareh raises an eyebrow and aims his weapon again. She kicks a barrel into his legs before he can shoot, sending him sprawling. Philippa and Saru manage to subdue, or in her case, kill their assailants, until there is only their leader sitting on his knees on the floor.

Philippa wants to kill him, but Saru refuses, instead letting the colonists decide his fate. They decide to send him out on his own come nightfall, let him fight his way through parasitic ice to find safety if he can.

Night comes sooner than the crew would hope, and it's almost completely dark by the time they're able to leave. One of the colonists gives them a personal transporter to make it to their ship without braving the ice, but it's still much to late to get Discovery off the ground.

They try to take off, to push themselves out of the ice with their thrusters, but it's too strong, they can't get through it alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another ship appears on scanners, and they all fear it's one of the many competitors looking to use their ship and their dilithium. The ship gets ahold of them with it's tractor beam, giving them that last little push they need to be free of the ice. Once they're free, the other ship hails them.

With communications finally back online, Saru decides to answer it. Whoever it may be, they need to try and communicate before more drastic measures are taken. "Open a channel, Mr. Bryce. We will face whatever or whomever has come for us together."

"Channel open."

Saru stands from the captain's chair and takes a few steps forward. "On viewscreen, please."

It takes several moments to get the viewscreen up running, the whole bridge crew waiting on baited breath for whoever will be on the other line. After what feels like an eternity, the screen finally comes on, revealing a smiling Commander Burnham on the other end. The crew lets out breaths of relief and small cheers at seeing her alive and well.

"Saru!" Her smile brightens as she says his name, her eyes watering slightly.

"Michael?" He looks at her in awe and complete disbelief. Her hair, her demeanor. If he didn't know her so well, he wouldn't believe it was her for a moment.

She nods and chuckles. "Yeah, it's me. We found you. We've been looking for so long."

Tilly puts her hands up to her mouth and sighs a breath of relief. At least Michael is home. Her heart breaks again in the same instant when she realizes she'll have to tell her that Jackie never made it back on board. A small quiet sob wracks through her and she turns away for a moment to compose herself.

Saru stutters and tries to find the words to say. "You... You're... You look--"

Michael shakes her head, her smile softening for a moment. "Saru... I landed here a year ago. I've been waiting for all of you, all this time."

Saru finds his voice after a moment, clinging onto the one thing he knows to be true right now. "So you know. Our mission was a success."

Michael lets out a small sigh, and nods. "Yeah, Saru, I do. But there's more to discuss once I come on board. It'll be two to beam down. I have a bit of a surprise."

Saru cocks his head slightly at the mention of a surprise, but he nods all the same. "Of course. We will be here for you when you arrive."

Michael clicks off the channel with another small nod, and turns to Jackie with a large grin. They finally found them. They're finally home. She holds out her hand to her daughter, happy tears welling in her eyes that she has to blink back. "You ready?"

[total-drama-brainrot]

i'm not entirely sure who the first merge boot would be: my options are cody owen and sierra (mostly the first two since i don't doubt cody would use any chance to get sierra eliminated). but, yeah i'll probably just keep owen.

see, i don't think duncan's "alliance" would pan out quite as well here considering the lack of teams, but hm. duncan and gwen in the serengeti (duncan - alejandro, tyler, courtney, gwen - heather, lindsay, herself?, heather/courtney? idk the voting here was weird - duncan) (i like to imagine them both stuck on one half of a cage while feral zeke is in the other because let's not have the guy steal the money in the finale, let's just bring him to rehab) and courtney on easter island is a tantalizing possibility. i could also swap duncan and courtney in that last paragraph without changing too much though.

there is definitely something to be said for keeping the "dives in front of the girl when the plane explodes" moment but i could keep that without heather having to be eliminated and just have chef do it instead. also, she just got un-bald do we really want her to do it again.

i think i might say tyler gets eliminated and then i'm gonna make it consists of alejandro and lindsay arguing about him and heather :/-ing. i don't know what this is how we will end it would consist of. maybe lindsay finally realizing the true extent of what alejandro did?

"you left bridgette stuck to a pole / robbed leshawna of her fabulous soul / made even courtney lose control?! (okay this lyric no longer fits as well but.)"

I. I can't believe I forgot about Cody. He's One Of My Blorbos From My Shows and I forgot about him completely. Throw that twink out pre-merge, have him eliminate himself just to get away from Sierra or something.

You're right about the Aleduncan alliance not having the same basis as canon since they never shared a team. The whole 'love triangle' situation is more than enough plot for Duncan anyway, so you could scrap the whole idea, and nothing of note would really change.

Duncan and Courtney are, as painful as it is to admit, pretty interchangeable as far as plot is concerned. Gwen is far too passive and reactive to function as a conflict generator/plot device (she was the reactive protagonist in Island, and the 'damsel love interest' in Action before her elimination; any conflict involving her is always generated by outside forces and Gwen just kind of reacts to it) so she'd have to be the first of the three to be eliminated, simply because there's not much reason to keep her around. She won't generate anything new for their subplot. But both Duncan and Courtney are proactive problem starters, so swapping their elimination order is fairly easy to do.

But this AU isn't about them, despite how much I've discussed them.

Having Tyler be the one eliminated in Drumheller makes more sense to me, simply because having him in the finale for the tiebreaker doesn't have as much tension as having Heather there would.

Think about it; you've got Tyler facing off against Alejandro in the tiebreaker (assuming Lindsay's the one who wins the cross-country challenge), he's just gonna throw the whole thing, right? He's either completely under Alejandro's thumb, or he's having his doubts thanks to his talk with Lindsay in Drumheller; either way he's throwing the tiebreaker to give the people he loves (both Alejandro and Lindsay) a chance at the million, because he's Tyler. He's chivalrous to a fault, and just earnest enough to care more about the people in his life than the money he could win.

Heather, on the other hand, is here to win. She and Lindsay still have their unsteady 'alliance'- I think there's something poetic about the two of them actually taking each other to the finale this time, since that's exactly what Heather promised in Island, even if she never intended to upkeep it- fuelled by their shared goal of getting Alejandro eliminated. The tiebreaker is her final shot at achieving this goal; the penultimate conflict between herself and Alejandro that the whole season has been leading up to.

Having her eliminated in Drumheller takes all of that plot momentum and throws it out of the window. All of that build up for a face off against the 'villains', gone. In the least satisfactory way possible.

And then you could either have Lindsay and Alejandro duke it out in the actual final challenge, OR you could have Heather beat him and have Lindsay and Heather play a game of 'Who can backstab the other first?'- because there's no trust between the two of them, and Lindsay (as guileless as she is) is wise to Heather's tricks. I personally think, from a narrative standpoint, that having Alejandro and Lindsay as the finalists is the better idea; the whole AU revolves around their conflict, after all.

Meanwhile, Tyler's in the peanut gallery stands, (probably) charred and wheelchair bound, conflicted over which finalist he should be supporting. Does he remain loyal to Alejandro, despite the doubt creeping in? Or does he, now free from the other's rose-tinted influence, wisen up to the fact that he's been played and support his ex instead? Do any of the ex-contestants manage to convince him that Alejandro sabotaged his relationship with Lindsay as a ploy to win the competition?

(For 'This Is How We Will End It', you could just replace Courtney with Tyler, since he's essentially just done with Tyler what he did to Courtney in canon- that is, "lose control" by catching feelings. That could be how Lindsay realises that Alejandro holds no real affections for Tyler, he just sees the jock's feelings towards him as a boon in the competition. And she'd be furious, because he sabotaged her relationship and stole her boyfriend, yet he doesn't even really love Tyler at all?)

[spiderling-space]

How would the Dorm leaders react if they crush say "Hey, I'm cute, You're cute, let's date?"

In Leona's case, use sexy otherwise cute, please.

If wrote something wrong, I'm sorry, english isn't my native language.

Malleus is also on the sexy side too.

🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀

Riddle Rosehearts

“I’m not cute!” Riddle yells in answer, his face turning red.

He may be small in size but he is as imposing as other prefects. He is certainly not cute and is going to prove his point to (Y/N). He feels anger bubbling up but since he just got a semi compliment from his crush, he can’t get fully angry. He even forgets to answer their question.

🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

Leona Kingscholar

A smug expression forms on Leona’s face when he hears (Y/N) calling him sexy whilst asking him out. How brave they are. And they flaunt their sexiness while doing that.

Leona doesn’t directly say “yes or no”, he just says “be prepared” then leaves. Later on, after his nap, he is going to send them a message, stating the time and place of their first date.

🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙🐙

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul the Always Professional is flabbergasted by what his crush said. No one but his mum and grandmother called him cute. The way (Y/N) called him cute is way different from the one he used to. They asked him out too.

Azul gathers himself, fixes his glass and outfit. He smiles, arms open and palms facing (Y/N). He accepts to go out with them before accidentally asking if they want to sign a contract for their date.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim is overjoyed! When he hears his crush call him cute, he just explodes. He immediately says “You are cuter!” without waiting for (Y/N) to finish what they were saying.

(Y/N) gets his attention once again and finally asks him out and Kalim answers yes without a second thought.

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Vil Schönheit

Vil has been called beautiful and handsome but no one just called him cute. On top of that, it is said by the person whom he developed a crush on.

As much as Vil is flattered by their compliment. He has a standard. He acts as if he isn’t affected by what (Y/N) said. He will hint that he wants them to put more effort when asking him out.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Idia Shroud

Idia isn’t sure if he heard it right. His crush called him cute. He must be dreaming or he is too tired that he is hallucinating. When he realizes it is reality, he can’t function.

They think Idia is cute. They, the gorgeous (Y/N) thinks he is cute. And they asked him out! Idia cannot answer their question in person. He rushes back to his room to gather courage then he will send his tablet to answer their question.

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

Malleus Draconia

“Sexy?” That is not a word he would hear in Valley of Thorns court. It would only be said between two betrothed. Then he focuses on (Y/N)’s question. “Child of Man, do you not know today’s date?”, and tells them the date.

When (Y/N) explains that they meant that they want to court him. He chuckles, finally, a wish of his is coming true. He accepts their courtship then teleports to Lilia’s side to tell him everything and write a letter to his grandmother, notifying her that the person of his dreams is courting him.

[linkspooky]

Can you make an analysis on Yuji please?

Sure, non-non-non. Have you ever noticed that Yuji is just a little bit crazy? By that I mean, he has no mentally healthy way of dealing with his emotions so he just represses all of them. The thing about Gojo is, he tends to have a good read on people, he knew Geto was self-righteous right away, and one of the first things he says about Yuji as early back as chapter four is that there’s something not right about Yuji. I’ve seen a lot of commentary on who Yuji is on the surface, but rarely do they dig deep, so let’s dig a little bit deeper. 

1. Suicidal Ideation

So, to set up in the first chapter Yuji has a really bad day. His only living relative dies leaving him practically an orphan, and on top of that he finds out he’s going to be executed. A normal person would be devastated by so much at once, but, Yuji doesn’t really react normally, he never really shows his sadness or the pain of his loss on the surface it shows in his actions instead. I mean, a few hours after his grandpa dies, Yuji’s first instinct is to throw himself into danger, fearlessly, against a terrifying monster.

Ever since his grandpa’s death Yuji thinks constantly of death, especially trying to save other people from what he thinks is a cruel and unusual death and giving them a natural death instead, however he doesn’t ever show the same regard for his own life. Once again in the first chapter, Megumi comments this.

You just seem like you wanna die anyway!!

Constant thoughts of death, a passive longing to die, that’s termed suicidal ideation. I think it’s clear here, Yuji is all smiles on the surface, while at the same time dealing with thoughts of suicide in his head. It’s just he’s not actively trying to kill himself, but throwing himself into dangerous situations with no regard for his life, that’s an easy way to get himself killed. Rather than active, it’s passive, a wish to die, or at least, an unhealthy disregard for your own life. Thoughts like, if I die it’s fine, it doesn’t matter. 

Which is why it’s actually kind of messedup Yuji just swallows wth finger without thinking of the cosnequences at all. 

If you think of Yuji’s life before this point it was kind of empty as well. He was in the occult club, not because he cared about the occult but because he felt needed there. The only thing he did after school was kill time, until he went to visit his grandpa in the hospital. He doesn’t really seem to have any close friends from his previous life, even though he gets along with others just fine. He was an amazing athlete, but he didn’t feel like joining the sports teams. It’s like, he has all this talent, but he doesn’t really want to try hard at anything, Yuji is a super friendly guy, and yet he doesn’t really act close to anyone. Yuji gives off the impression of someone idling through life, with no particular investment in anything or anyone. 

Then suddenly, he’s given a purpose in life to swallow the fingers of Sukuna and die, and Yuji leaps at the chance. He says he doesn’t want to get executed and he’s upset about that, but if he is, all those feelings are repressed because he doesn’t show them on the surface. Yuji is almost, overeager, to fight and die for this cause the second it’s been dropped in his lap. That’s something that Yaga even says to him in the third chapter. It’s odd how unconcerned Yuji is with the details, he’s way too nonchalant, is he doing something he truly wants to do - or is he looking for some excuse to die. 

This is also something brought up again in curse womb must die, despite thinking about death all the time, Yuji doesn’t really face those emotions. Things like panic, fear, he runs away from. When pushed to the edge and when he’s about to die, Yuji starts reacting like a normal person for once. 

All of this suggests that Yuji functions, by repressing all of his negative feelings, just all the time and only letts the positive ones showing on the surface. For someone constantly thinking about death and how he’s going to die, he doesn’t seem like someone dealing with something so heavy, and that’s because he rarely lets others glimpse what he’s truly thinking about. 

2. A Seriously Repressed Dude

Yuji has a pattern with how he deals with his emotions. He bottles everything up, explodes, and then goes right back to bottling them. Repressing your emotions is an unhealthy tactic for dealing with more negative feelings, because rather than facing them and working through them it revolves around the idea of simply ignoring them and pretending they are not there. Here is Yuji’s pattern in action, repress everything until you’re forced to snap. 

Then, after he cools back down he goes right back to bottling. We know Yuji changed from his interactions with Junpei, from being unable to save Junpei, and yet right in the next arc, Yuji just seems like the exact same Yuji as before. 

Yuji puts a great amount of effort into not letting other people see when there’s a anything wrong with him. He’ll even try to hide things, which only those observant people like Megumi can notice.

This even repeats in a scene in the next arc, where Yuji decides to keep a secret from Megumi because he doesn’t want Megumi to feel guilty for the choice of saving him. 

Yuji’s strategies for dealing with complicated emotions all revolve around avoidance rather than confrontation. Especially in regards to his close friends, Yuji is in no doubt a friendly guy but do you notice while he trusts his friends to fight alongside, he never really confides in them or tells them what’s going on in his life? He encourages Fushigoro to be more open but rarely does the same. If Yuji and Megumi were open and honest with one another, there wouldn’t be a long drawn out chapter where they both decide to keep secrets from each other. 

Yuji deals with his emotions by repressing them until he can’t. It’s a scene that repeats three times. First in the fight against the cursed womb, then in the fight against Mahito after losing Junpei, and finally in the second fight against Mahito.

Yuji hits his limit, and then represses himself and keeps going forward even when that’s not working. We see that’s even his resolve at the end of the Mahito fight, he’s just going to keep mechanically forcing himself onwards even though we’ve shown time after time, this never works. Yuji just represses himself until he explodes again.

I bring up his “just keep moving forward” logic because 1) it doesn’t work, and 2) for the most recent arc it’s a clear parallel to Yuta. Yuta’s most defining character trait being that, just like Yuji he’s a person who seems like a good guy on the surface, who seems timid, passive, but otherwise approachable, soft nice guy. Only to completlely flip out. 

Now Yuji’s craziness is probably going to reflect in Yuta who is hunting him down, because they both have this same tendency. They’re both so unhealthy at handling they’re emotions, they just bottle it all up until they explode. Except this time, rather than fighting a clear enemy, like Geto, or Mahito, they might be pointed at each other. Yuji’s unhealthy habit of resorting to violent anger when someone he loves gets hurts, is now reflected in Yuta who is angry with Yuji for cutting off the arm of Inumaki and hurting his loved one. 

[maddieinwonder]

Bait & Switch

Spencer Reid x GN!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, super fluffy 

Word Count: 3.5k words 

Plot: Reader reveals that they’re going to buy a Nintendo Switch so Spencer invites them to go together with him. In the process, some feelings reveal themselves.  

Author’s Note: My first time writing about Spencer, and actually, my first time writing a fic in a long time haha. Just imagine that this takes place in 2017, although you don’t have to know anything about the Switch in order to read this.

Masterlist

-------------- 

"What's got you in such a good mood, baby?" Derek asked, leaning over his chair. Even without looking up, you could feel the smirk that decorated his face. After almost a month at the BAU, you didn’t need to be a profiler to expect this much from Derek. "Got a date this weekend?"

You tried to focus on your paperwork before relenting, rolling your eyes. Still, you couldn't hide the smile in your voice when you shot back a reply. "With this job? You wish, Morgan."

"Give yourself some credit, beautiful. With your looks I'm sure you could score a good looking fellow for a night you won't forget."

"I'm sure you would know all about that," you replied, this time grinning from ear to ear.

Ever since you joined the BAU, your seat has always been across Derek Morgan. The guy was a terrible flirt but also one of the most trustworthy people you knew, so you couldn't keep up a sarcastic mood for long.

"Actually," you replied genuinely, "I'll be lining up this weekend to buy a Nintendo Switch." Out of the corner of your eye, you could sense Spencer stiffen in his chair next to you.

"A what switch?" Derek asked, his face scrunching up in confusion.

But before you could begin to reply him, Spencer rolled his chair over and opened his mouth. The both of you knew what was coming.

"The Nintendo Switch. A video game console developed by Japanese company Nintendo that's completely one-of-its-kind, on account of its console functioning like a tablet that can either be docked on a home console and linked to a TV, or used as a portable device with two wireless controllers so you can..."

Not being able to help yourself, you giggled at his info dump. You've always admired how much knowledge he could store in his big brain. But more importantly, you thought he was kind of cute like this. A fire would light in his eyes and it seemed like the world around him ceased to exist.

You only realised you were staring at Spencer when the last bits of his question registered in your mind. "...you going to?"

Blinking your eyes, you snapped to attention. Derek seemed to notice, because you felt his signature smirk return to his face.

"Which store are you going to?" Spencer repeated the question. Anybody else might be annoyed, but he only seemed mildly restless. A rare look for the unathletic genius.

"I'm going to the one three blocks down from here," you replied.

"So am I!" Spencer sat upright in his chair, beaming. You think that this is the most excitement he's expressed to you since you joined the BAU.

Then his confidence seemed to waver. He began tugging at the edge of his sleeve, eyes glancing to the side at nothing in particular when he asked, "W-would you like t-to go together?"

A smile spreads across your face before you can stop it. "Sure! Sounds like fun."

Spencer grinned back, and there was a moment of silence before Derek interrupted the conversation that he began. "Well, I'll leave you and lover boy to plan your date. I'm going to spend my Friday night at the bar."

Your heart thumped involuntarily at the word "date", while Derek turned to Emily. "Hey Prentiss, you want to grab a few drinks and dinner? I'm sure I can get the others to leave work for one night."

"Anything's better than this," Emily shrugged, lifting her mug of already-cold coffee.

Standing up to retrieve her bag, she smirked at you and Spencer, having heard more of the conversation than she let on. "Have a great weekend, you lovebirds. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

She and Derek shared a laugh as they moved towards the Batcave to retrieve Garcia next.

As you watched them go, you feel Spencer's eyes on you and a flush warming your cheeks. You knew they were just teasing you with the word "date", but the truth is you've liked the genius almost as soon as you met him.

You may not have an eidetic memory, but you could still remember the flutter of butterflies that exploded in your chest when you first laid eyes on Dr. Spencer Reid.

He had waved from a comfortable distance, the other hand tucked in the pocket of his dark slacks. He towered over you easily with curly locks that barely touched his sweater vest, and you swore you've never seen anybody more attractive in your life. His intelligence only added to your attraction. 

"Shall I pick you up at 7am tomorrow?"

You turned back to Spencer, who seemed even more nervous now that everybody in the bullpen had left. Yet what he was proposing was rather bold compared to his usual behaviour.

“Pick me up?” You repeated.

“It’ll be easier to find a parking spot that way, and the weather report predicts that tomorrow will be a sunny day, so I know you’d rather not walk three blocks to the store.” He rambled nervously.

“You know me well, Spencer.” A cheeky smile snuck onto your face, and in a moment of false bravado, you said what was on your mind. “7am. It’s a date, then.”

Spencer’s face turned beet red.

You didn’t wait to dwell on his reaction, dumping the last of your paperwork into a pile and picking up your bag. But as you walked to the elevator, you couldn’t help yourself from grinning ear to ear. It was a date. Kind of.

-------------- 

You couldn’t sleep. You had gotten home earlier than usual, but the extra time to plan for your “date” tomorrow proved to be a bad idea.

What would you wear? What would you talk about? Should you extend it to a meal, or dessert, or maybe coffee?

Although you were confident in the moment, you were beginning to regret teasing Spencer before you left. You’d known him long enough to know how he reacted to embarrassment, and there’s a good chance he might back away because of your forwardness. 

You groaned, trying to get these thoughts out of your head. The reality of the "date" was sinking in now. This would be the first time that you and Spencer would be alone in a non-work setting. To say that you were nervous was a gross understatement. 

But there was something worse than showing up nervous, which was showing up nervous and sleep-deprived, so you turned off your bedside lamp and tried to will yourself to sleep. That's when your phone began to buzz.

You were so on edge that the sound almost made you fall off your bed. Turning over your phone, your heart leapt to your throat.

Spencer, 2:03am: Sorry to disturb you when it's so late, but I realised I don’t have your address. Could you send it to me when you're awake?

You gulped. Just relax, just relax, you repeated in your head.

Me, 2:05am: It’s alright, you didn’t wake me up. I’ll attach my address below.

Spencer, 2:06am: Thanks. Having trouble sleeping?

Me, 2:07am: A little

Spencer, 2:08am: Me too.

What was I supposed to reply to that? You silently screamed. But it turned out you didn't have to figure it out.

Spencer, 2:11am: To be honest, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.

Me, 2:13am: Why?

Spencer, 2:15am: I suppose it’s because we've never spent any time alone before.

Hearing the genius act so shy made you feel a little more brave.

Me, 2:16am: Well, I'm looking forward to the chance

Spencer, 2:17am: I am too.

Despite your nerves, you smiled at his small confession.

Spencer, 2:19am: We should get some sleep.

Me, 2:19am: I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night, Spence

Spencer, 2:20am: Sweet dreams.

Your anxieties were washed away and replaced with the biggest smile on your face. Without knowing it, Spencer’s words rippled a sense of calm over you, and you fell asleep shortly after. 

The next morning, you woke up with a newfound clarity. You knew what you were going to wear. 

-------------- 

Spencer couldn't stop tapping the edge of his steering wheel. He knew he was nervous, and admitting it to you last night didn't do much to stop that fact from eating away at him.

He texted you 3 minutes ago that he was waiting outside your apartment, but you hadn't replied. Although he knew that there were plenty of logical reasons why you might have missed his text, his hands didn't stop itching to call you and see if you were alright.

Then out of the corner of his eye, you emerged from the corridor and he felt his heart speed up.

You were wearing a blue flannel that he'd never seen you in before with a pair of dark jeans. Your hair, which you usually kept in a up-do at work, was let down in waves, touching your shoulders. And then there was the pièce de résistance, you were wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt with the TARDIS on it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

He didn't break his gaze on you the entire time you got into his car. Even when you beamed at him and wished him a good morning, a small yawn escaping your perfect lips, he was completely tongue-tied.

"Earth to Spencer," you called out, looking up at him curiously. "You there?"

Spencer shook his head suddenly, cursing himself internally for being such a doofus. "Sorry, uh, I was distracted. Good morning." He smiled sheepishly, tucking a stray hair strand behind his ear.

"Anyway," he cleared his throat. "I was thinking we could grab some coffee before we headed to the store? We can make it quick. I know there'll be some people already lining up."

He peeked at you rubbing your eyes and thought it was the cutest thing he's ever seen. “Looks like you might need it," he said without realising he'd just flirted with you.

You giggled, lowering your hands from your face. "Sounds great." 

-------------- 

Spencer wasn't lying when he said it'd be quick, although in truth you could have taken all the time in the world and you would still be happy. The initial awkwardness between you washed away almost immediately as you fell into a quiet conversation about your favourite Doctor Who episodes. 

You wanted to commit the sight of him driving in the morning to memory. The sun had just rose, lighting a gentle halo around Spencer’s messy hair and sculptured face. He was wearing a bigger sweater than usual, the sleeves hanging around his wrists loosely. While his eyes were focused on the road, his lips parted slightly as he softly bantered with you about David Tennant. 

You felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and kiss him despite the driving hazard. And despite the fact that you’ve never kissed him, of course. But you could hope. And hope you did. 

Your hope had grown when he parked in front of the coffee house you’d once mentioned was your favourite. Spencer made your coffee order perfectly and you had found yourself hoping that it was because he’d paid extra attention to you, and not because of his brilliant memory. 

And when you reached the video game store and he opened the door for you, you hoped it was because he wanted to make a good impression, not only because he was a gentleman. 

And when he stood between you and a video game rack in line, you hoped that he was trying to shield you from the other people in the store, and you hoped that he was thinking of pressing you against the rack and kissing the daylights out of you. 

You needed to get a hold of yourself. 

The conversation had swapped to the reason why you two were here in the first place, and you found yourself talking to Spencer about Breath of the Wild, a game that brought you back to fond memories of your childhood. 

“The Legend of Zelda was the first video game I ever played, on the first console I ever owned.” You shared, smiling fondly. “It was the video game that my brother and I bonded over, and we bought every game together since.”

Spencer nodded in rapt. You felt him leaning closer to you, although it may have been your imagination. 

“This is actually the first time I haven’t been with him for a new game,” you realised. “Due to our jobs, we haven’t seen each other in awhile, but we still text each other!” You tried to end on a lighter note, not wanting to bring the mood down on this “date”.

Spencer looked at you as if he wanted to say something, but he kept his lips shut. 

“What about you? What was your first video game?” You threw the question to him, trying to divert attention away from your sad-enough story. 

He blushed in response to your question and looked down at his black converse. You noticed he began touching his sleeve in a familiar motion and you looked at him suspiciously. “Spencer?”

“W-well, the t-truth is, I didn’t actually c-come here to buy a Switch, and I don’t play video games at all.“ The last part of his sentence came out rapidly. You might have missed it, if you weren’t already used to the tongue twisters he spit out on a daily basis.

“What?” You exclaimed a little too loudly, causing the other shoppers in line to glance at you weirdly. “Then... Then what are you doing here?” You said quieter this time. Your eyebrows furrowed as your mind scanned the possibilities. 

“W-well, I, uh, wanted to spend time with you,” he blurted out. He raised his eyes to meet yours, his face completely red.

It was your turn to be flustered now. Your voice was quiet and you could feel your hands shaking. “Is this a date, Spencer?” 

“Only if you want it to be, I mean, I want it to be but your opinion matters to me, and I wouldn’t want to bring you on a date if you didn’t want to. We can just hang out like friends if that’s more comfortable--” 

You grabbed his free hand, gently lowering it from where it was moving as he rambled, until your fingers were intertwined. 

“I would like it to be,” a large smile took over your face. You were a little teary despite how weird it was to confess your feelings for him in a video game store of all places. 

Spencer was quiet for a moment, squeezing your hand in return. “Would you like to go for lunch after this? As a date,” he clarified this time. 

"I would love that,” you beamed at him, “as a date.” 

-------------- 

Spencer had always imagined the kind of girl he would fall in love with. Caring, intelligent, had an appreciation for classic literature, maybe. But when he saw you for the first time, every expectation he held flew out of the window.  

You were beautiful. Wavy dark hair tied into a high ponytail, wearing a navy shirt, and funnily enough, a beige cardigan and black converse. Morgan joked that it was like meeting Spencer 2.0, but he disagreed: the two of you were worlds apart. 

You were incredibly tech savvy, although not as much as Garcia, but certainly more than the rest. You loved the smell and taste of coffee without sugar. You were happy to hug everybody you met, from colleagues to victims. You didn’t like paperback so you read everything on a Kindle. 

But the biggest difference between the two of you, was that you were emotionally intelligent. 

All of your brilliance, combined with your PhD in psychology - having worked as a psychiatrist affiliated with Sex Crimes before joining the BAU - you were able to pick out the team’s moods from a single glance. It’s what endeared everyone to you immediately, and what made you such a great profiler.   

But the way you treated him was different. You just, listened to him. While everyone else had gotten into the habit of cutting him off or simply ignoring him when he opened his mouth, your eyes would light up instead. 

He could always tell you were listening because you would look into his eyes when he spoke, and you would ask him questions after he was done. 

It made him feel like the world around him ceased to exist, except for you. 

So he started studying your interests to grab your attention, trying to throw in a few jokes hoping to see you smile. It only took one month for him to seize his chance. Still, never in his calculations did he think you would say yes. 

He smiled at the thought, stroking your hair gently as you cuddled on the couch together, watching you play Breath of the Wild. 

After a more than successful first date, you had asked him to come over the next day to spend more time together. A month ago, he would have politely declined with an excuse like needing to read a new academic journal, but when he arrived at your doorstep he allowed himself to be drawn into your arms, relishing the giggle he earned as a reward for being hugged. 

“Damn it,” you grumbled quietly as you ran out of stamina scaling a cliffside for the fifth time.

Spencer laughed. Without a second thought, he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head. 

In the background Link fell off the cliff once again, the game playing a sound that he came to recognise as Link dying. But there were no curses this time, as you had turned to look at Spencer, nothing but adoration in your eyes. 

“That was our first kiss,” you said so quietly and sweetly that Spencer’s heart melted at the sound of it. 

“First?” He took his chance, leaning closer. “You know, the usage of the word ‘first’ almost always implies that there will be a ‘second’ and a ‘third’ and a...” 

His voice trailed off as your fingers left the controller to touch his lips. Your touch was intoxicating and he wanted more. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Spence,” you started, lifting your finger from his lips. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you-” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he managed to get out in a hurry before capturing your lips in his. He felt your astonishment at first, but you quickly lost yourself in the kiss as he brought his hands up to cup the sides of your face, deepening the kiss further. 

You finally broke apart after awhile, both panting for air and smiling widely. Spencer never thought he could be so lucky. “That’s the second one,” he said quietly, bringing up two fingers to indicate the number. 

You looked at him with love in your eyes and abandoned your controller on the table before throwing yourself at him, flattening the two of you against your couch. 

“Ready for the third?”

-------------- 

Derek Morgan wasn’t an idiot. That’s why he could tell that something had changed over the weekend between his desk mate and boy genius. 

The two came into work together on Monday morning, which was weird in itself, but they also took every opportunity to stick to each other, from coffee breaks to disappearing for lunch and “asking” about paperwork. 

When they vanished for the umpteenth time that day for coffee, Derek leaned over Emily’s desk to confirm his theory. 

“It’s not just me. Pretty boy finally made a move, didn’t he?” He cocked an eyebrow. 

“Definitely. Those two are so obvious that even Hotch has picked up on it. From his office.” She quipped, grinning as her eyes moved to the scene behind Derek. “Speak of the devil.” 

Entering the conversation, Spencer did what he did best. “Did you know that ‘speak of the devil’ is the short form of the idiom ‘speak of the devil and he doth appear’? The phrase can be traced back to the 16th century when mentioning the devil was considered prohibited. In fact, when people were caught saying the phrase--” 

Derek caught your eyes drifting to look adoringly at Spencer. He couldn’t take this anymore. “So what happened between you two last weekend, huh?” he interrupted, smirking. 

Your reaction was better than he gambled. You turned a bright red and your eyes darted between Spencer and Derek in panic, truly flustered for the first time since he’s met you. But Spencer was strangely calm, his eyes travelling from his best friend to Emily in the background trying to stifle her laughter, while a small smile tugged at his lips. 

“We’re dating now,” he announced to the two a little triumphantly, while rubbing your shoulder as a peaceful gesture. 

Derek and Emily were stunned by their friend’s directness, only to be shocked out of it as Hotch walked by. “Finally,” he muttered, loud enough for them all to hear. 

You were the first to crack a smile, then the rest followed suit with laughs and congratulations. Hearing the uproar, Garcia and JJ peeked out of their rooms, joining in and demanding more details about this new but not entirely unexpected development. 

Amidst the chaos, Spencer laces his hands in yours and gives it a squeeze. For the first time in a long time, you feel unequivocally, unmistakably happy. 

[beetleboo]

long post. one i’ve been trying to make for a while now. hell, i wrote this like... third week of may. didn’t post it until now because i didn’t know if I wanted to.

but something i want to lay out, been wanting to lay out for months. dont want to talk to anyone about it, just want to put the info out there for it to be seen.

if you re/blog this i will block you. i may put this on the relevant sideblog at some point.

because 2020 was the worst year on record for me for a number of reasons, and it’s torn me down to the lowest point i’ve been in a long time, and this is just. everything that’s gone down. not a callout post, no one gets named, but these are all the events

partially in relation to my fandom sideblog, because that’s where i had community, and where it’s all just. gone. doesnt exist anymore.

i started up a server, ages ago now. somewhere i curated to be a positive and safe space for things, and for a while, it was that.

around the end of 2019, spilling over to the start of 2020 when it picked up, i found, both on my blog and in discord spaces, in particular the server i ran, that people no longer talked to me. no one would hold a conversation with me past a few basic responses, no one replied to anything i shared, no one engaged when i tried to start discussions. so i pulled back from the main server - S1. thought it was just a lull in activity. stayed that way for weeks, months, and I just muted the server. no one ever cared about anything i had to say. was lucky if anything i posted got even a token emoji react

was in another, smaller server - S2. people i talked to damn near every day, even in voice. played games together - that became... no fun simply because everyone else was so much better/further ahead in the game. i was completely useless, so didn’t server a function in game and never really felt like anyone actively wanted me around, but i still participated in chat.

but again, no one ever responded to anything I posted beyond maybe a token react

couple people discussing something one day. I contributed with Theory A, and quite immediately got that shut down. few minutes later, they rephrased exactly what I said and happily nattered away. so whatever I said wasn’t worth it when it came out of my mouth but if they talked about it, it was all well and valid. so again, between that specific experience and no one interacting with me, nor anything I post. server muted. treatment taught me no one cared about my presence there.

gave admin rights to S1, my server, to someone I trusted. two requests only: dont delete channels and let me know if you want to invite anyone (since I kept it private)

RYE (i’m just assigning random three letter names to people to keep this straight) posted public invites several times. never asked me. one of the two things i asked. brought it up with them that it bothered me, just got vague noncomittal responses. more public invites. eventually, after having the server muted for months, i handed over full control and left. that was almost a full year ago. none of the people have talked to me in that entire year, through discord or here or anything.

except RYE who sent me a message after a couple months like ‘wow i havent heard from you in a while hope you’re doing ok’. i wasn’t. after a bit but still the same day, i said as much. that i wasn’t doing well. they never responded. and i don’t mean like, they didn’t respond that day. i mean i literally never heard from them until months later when they sent me a meme and also didn’t respond to me commenting on that meme.

and this is one side of things. all of the above was the first half of the year. this next bit happened about. march2020? I was in another server - S3. another place that was a good space at the time. was in voice chat with two other people. started talking about one thing. MIN very suddenly said something along the lines of ‘i don’t care about this i’ll come back when you’re done’

this is one of the very few things that can trigger me - i’ve had a lot of people talk down to me if I dare look excited about anything. when they came back, i asked if they could try to just. depart conversations more softly. MIN always said ‘if i do anything hurtful to you just tell me! i dont want to do that kind of thing!’

this was clearly a lie as they exploded on me, telling me they always have to walk on eggshells around me, that I ask so many things from them. before what I asked them that day, I can only recall one other thing i asked (which was not to talk about a person who was abusive towards me, and they were like ‘yea sure np’ about that, over a year prior’)

the whole thing turned into basically me having to shut down the fact that i was hurt by what they did, had to ignore that now and i had to fawn and placate them and the only thing i got out of that was that my feelings were irrelevant, only theirs.

(incidentally, I have had two other people turn on me in similar ways, accusing me of doing shifty/bad/terrible things, and not being willing to tell me what they are when I ask, only saying that ‘i should know what i did’ so that’s also now a Fun New Bit Of Trauma.)

and that entire weeklong event lead me straight to a breakdown. literal genuine breakdown i cannot convey how devastating that entire scenario was without going into far too many details.

so between all of these things happening in less than six months, with three different community spaces folding and collapsing and fading away from me, with many of the friends i thought i had just. moving on to other things and dropping me. people i talked to every day just not bothering with me anymore. they all have gone on to other stuff and no one ever went ‘hey beets wanna see what i’m up to’ or ‘wanna do this thing with me’

a handful of instances of me saying ‘yeah i’m dealing with these fears that have been reinforced lately that people aren’t safe to deal with, even thought part of me knows they’re probably irrational it feels like i have evidence to back it up’ and people immediately take it personally like i’m saying they’re not safe. despite. me outright saying. i know logically it should be irrational. but their reactions just reinforce it so it’s just a loop and tells me, again, never to bring up any of my problems with anyone.

so this all just reinforces that there’s something wrong with me. couple years back i spoke to a friend and how i was frustrated that I seemed to end up in bad spaces and they said ‘well you’re the one thing in common so its probably your fault’ and obviously they’re not my friend anymore but that has affected me so deeply. i can’t do anything without overthinking, whenever anything goes wrong i tear apart everything i’ve done and everything i’ve said or thought and i don’t know why things keep going bad. i try so hard but i’m just. not right.

so it all teaches me that there’s no point in reaching out in trying to talk to people because if i say ‘hey this hurt me’ i get ignored at best or torn down, yelled at, scolded. no point in trying to talk to new people because everyone just walks away at some point. not even a natural drift apart, i can handle that. but just very suddenly, they’re gone, off with better people doing better things.

roundabout, ties back to ‘consumption versus community’ - this is why i’ve been struggling so hard with lack of engagement on my sideblog. lucky to get a dozen notes on anything i make, unless it’s something other people can use (like mods) and even THEN it’s rare to see much activity. and that was FINE because i had people to talk to elsewhere, who would ask questions and we could back and forth and i shared my stuff and they shared those and it didnt matter if my posts only got a dozen notes because i had friends to talk to.

now i get (example) seven notes, six of which are likes and one is a reblog with no commentary. when i have something with a ton of notes, still, minimal commentary, no one talks to me. even on a mod with five hundred notes it just feels like i went ‘hey i made something :)’ and everyone picked it up and walked away with it, no one went ‘hey this is cool i want to talk to the person who made it.’

and it just feels like 95% of the time, i’m just overlooked. 

and it’s worse than it’s ever been in my entire life, and I wonder, what’s the point of any of this anymore.

why bother to make the posts to share when it all just gets passed by. what’s the point in trying to reach out to new people and make friends when i get lashed out at or left behind? the social is gone out of my social media. i had community, and now it’s gone.

so this has all been going on for months and months and months and hey! suffering. and i dont expect it to get any better, don’t expect this post to fix these issues, but i’ve been trying to say something about all of this for fucking months and i think just, laying it all out is all I can do about it. i’m sure i’ve forgotten some things to touch on but as it is, all these events, all of it happening all together. new traumas, old traumas reawoken, reinforced, i’ve been torn to pieces i don’t know how to function, i can’t remember the last time i felt like even half a real person. taught that the safe, positive spaces that meant so much to me don’t actually exist and they’ll all turn on me and be torn away. nowhere is safe anymore, and trying to make it safe is just going to ruin me again.

people aren’t safe, places aren’t safe, been proven to me time and time again so i just. stay away.

no matter how much i try to fight that, it just doesnt work.

anyway tl;dr beets needs therapy probably

[marshmallowprotection]

You've probably received an ask like this before, but do you have any specific thoughts/headcanons for Ray Route AE, in regards to the twins, as well as Saeran and MC's relationship? And what I mean by that is... do you think Saeran would have an easier time (even just slightly) getting over his hatred for his brother than he does in 707 Route SE? How would they interact? Would it be similar to how many people interpret their interactions for after the SEs (brotherly love-hate type deal), except maybe toned down a little?

And as for Saeran and MC, I'm not so much referring to the contents of their relationship, but Saeyoung's reaction to it, how he feels about it, etc.

I hope this makes sense, because I love the way you explain things and I would love to hear your thoughts on these ^^

[417]

Hopefully, Cheritz will give us a canon answer soon. I’ve definitely had the time to compare the two of them since I spend so much time in Saeran’s headspace playing around with this and that. Now, if we compare the events of the Secret Ending and the events of Ray Route, Saeran is in a very different headspace by a long shot. His place in his life is also drastically different. Unknown spent two more years in Mint Eye than GE Saeran did. There’s a vast difference between 6 months of being trapped and two years of being trapped. 

Both Suit Saeran and Ray were long buried in Unknown’s consciousness with no MC around to keep them tethered to the front. It was only a matter of time until either of them couldn’t function with what Rika did. I view Unknown to be another personality that split from Suit Saeran after some point during that two year period. Unknown and Suit Saeran have some things in common but they don’t read to be the same person to me. 

SE Saeran is just Unknown post-therapy and confrontation with Saeyoung, so I don’t see them as separate people, but the same person just in different eras of life. I’ve got a whole other people I could make about how it’s possible that Ray could flood back to the surface in therapy, as well as Suit Saeran, but they may not have the same names by that point. That’s more so just a big post on the way that their system works and how all of them cope with their trauma. 

But that wasn’t your question, but I’d be glad to answer that too at some point if you’re curious! Some people are torn on if Saeran has DID or OSDD specifically, and that’s a whole other topic. Anyways, back to the task at hand, SE Saeran in question went through literal hell for a very long time. He is fraught with so much anger and pain. He physically lashed out at Saeyoung and took weeks if not a few months to truly come to terms with what happened. He has to live with blood on his hands as well. 

We all know that SE Saeran tried to get rid of himself and Saeyoung, too. His emotional crisis is a strong one. He’s hurting so much until Saeyoung can get through to him and they can start to heal. It wasn’t easy. It was a fucking mess and that’s how life is. After what they went through? It’s wrong to assume that it would be simple or without pain and tears. Even after the Secret Ending comes to a close and we see Saeran with everyone, he looks so tired. His emotional state isn’t healed. He’s going to be dealing with panic attacks and much of the lingering PTSD for years to come. Saeyoung will as well. 

It’s going to be a constant battle for them. 

But, they’re both trying and the MC, as well as the RFA, are going to be there to help, which is great. A good support system is important but that’s also going to be messy because... well, you know, the truth wasn’t completely revealed to all of the RFA and that’s a ticking timebomb in itself. Saeran’s got issues trusting and being around much of the RFA. He can’t be around Yoosung or Jumin for obvious reasons. 

Either way, the Secret Ending has a lot of weight to it and it’s going to hurt just as much as it can get better for the Choi boys. Saeyoung believes that things can get better, and he’s willing and ready to stand by his brother to fight for their happiness. You know how much turmoil Saeyoung went through because we watched it. We know that he’s willing to do whatever he has to do for the ones that he loves. 

Even if it feels like pulling teeth. 

Now, thinking about what happens in Ray Route, we see the boys past revealed to the world with a direct attack. Saeran is able to realize that he was lied to and manipulated by the people that were supposed to take care of him. He is able to find out on his own that he needs to leave Magenta if he truly wants to be happy and free from his chains. We watch him be so damn strong and turn against the brainwashing and gaslighting. What he did should not be glossed over because going against your abuser is not easy. 

I was so proud of him for learning that for himself. He says himself that MC isn’t the one that got to him completely. It was a combination of factors that allowed him to see it. From how Ray was treated to how Saeran is treated, how they are promised things, and how those things are taken away. How it just didn’t make sense that Rika was disrespecting him and taking away everything. Nothing at all made sense anymore. She said one thing and did another. He decided to fight it even though it made him feel sick. 

You can watch his actions on the last day. How talking about Mint Eye as a bad place makes him gasp and choke, and whenever he tries to give his brother a chance... well, you see how he acts when you’re still holding onto your phone so tightly, asking him to take a chance on the RFA. He nearly has a panic attack when he tries to even say that he should look into it, much less talk to the RFA about it. He knows that he’s been tricked but he’s bouncing between what he has been told and what he’s trying to learn. 

That’s not an easy process. Saeran is going to be dealing with a lot after the events of his ending that we know of. The sudden fusion of Saeran and Ray can actually happen, I know some people feel like that was out of the blue but that can very well happen whether they make the conscious choice to do that or not and it was the best thing for the body at that time. GE Saeran isn’t Ray and he isn’t Suit Saeran, he’s not the two of them smashed together and he’s not one or the other. He’s someone made up of those parts but also his own person. Again, that’s a whole other thing that I’d have to get into here. 

Saeran has a lot to deal with as far as his trauma goes but you know what the difference is between GE Saeran and GE Saeran? GE Saeran had the choice to set himself free and SE Saeran had no choice. He was cornered like an animal and just... exploded. He was put in a position that he couldn’t decide. GE Saeran had the choice to leave Mint Eye on his own. That already makes the world of difference in his recovery. If we’re talking reasonably here, he definitely needs to start seeing someone to talk about what happened as soon as he feels ready to open up. 

So, he’s going to be spending a lot of time working on his problems and God knows how long it’s going to find Saeyoung so he’s likely to be making some good progress on his own. His relationship with the RFA is already pretty good compared to his counterpart as well. He gets along with everyone in the RFA, and he’s particularly close with Jumin, which makes sense given their natural wits. 

Now, therapy and getting a support system is good for Saeran. He’s got his MC as well with him. However, that doesn’t mean that he’s ready for Saeyoung to be back. When they find his brother... he’s going to need time and space for this to work. But, I imagine that he’s in a better headspace to handle it. He will tense up if Saeyoung hugs him and gets overwhelmed to see that his brother is alive after whatever he went through. Saeran will have to gently stop him and let him know that he needs time, he can’t handle all of this at once. Saeyoung needs to take it easy too. 

He’s got to react to the fact that he’s no longer bound by the agency and that he can live a life not hiding behind a mask. That’s going to be his own journey in itself that we could talk about for a while and I hope it doesn’t get glossed over because Saeyoung’s got a lot of his own woes to work on. So, don’t expect it to be perfect or anything here either. 

Saeran is able to breathe through the unease this time, but his MC will be there to hold his hand and help him speak to his brother about it. That first meeting is going to be a lot. It might trigger him, too. That would be the first time that Saeyoung is able to see that Saeran has someone that cares about him and that would be the selling point. If his brother is overwhelmed and scared and the one with him holds his hand and gently calms him, and removes him from the issue at hand, he’s sold. 

No hesitation. 

You protect Saeran, you show Saeyoung that you love Saeran, and that’s all he needs to see to trust you. He may not know all the details at that point but you can fucking count on him to be on board. He knows how to spot liars and people with bad intentions, and you don’t have that. 

He wouldn’t forget to tell you that, either. 

I think even more than that when he’s around the MC, he will notice how they just know when to touch Saeran’s hand and calm him. Saeran and his Mc have this silent communication. They don’t even really need words. They just look at each other and understand. That’s not something that is easily found in any relationship and when you see people that work in harmony you can’t help but smile. Saeyoung has hardly ever seen Saeran smile and you know when he sees it, he feels grateful that someone was there for Saeran when he couldn’t be there. 

There’s going to be guilt and other feelings in that but he’ll swallow that down. One more thing to add to his list of things to talk about when he’s ready to get his own help. 

Saeyoung and GE Saeran are going to interact slowly but surely. They’re going to be awkward... tense... maybe not angry, but there will be tight moments that feel overwhelming for both of them. Saeran might get angry and Saeyoung might be upset so there’s no avoiding a fight here and there but it may not be as violent as with SE Saeran and Saeyoung. Them getting to know each other is like getting to know a stranger... it’s been nearly a decade, they really don’t know each other at all. 

Sad as that is, it’s fun to get to know each other again. Saeyoung gets to learn things about his brother all the time and he writes that down, trying to make things right and make up for the past... Saeran swallowing back his shame and telling his brother that he’s not mad, and them just looking forward. It’s not always easy but I do think that GE Saeran and Saeyoung will have a different kind of relationship given purely from the fact that Saeran was allowed to choose recovery instead of being forced into it. 

[kerra-and-company]

16, 19, 24 for the headcanon asks!

Ooh sure, sounds like a plan! :D (And while I'm here answering your ask, thank you so much for making this excellent ask game; 'tis very fun to both ask and get asked these questions! <3 )

16. Have you put any thought into how Asuran Magitech works? (If yes the author of this game would love to hear as many details as possible ;D)

I have no idea how much of this is supported by the actual canon, but I tend to picture magic as an energy source of sorts, like heat or electricity or light. It's both more chaotic and more malleable than some other forms of energy, and the asuran magitech functions by harnessing that energy source. They can harness it via runes or via crystals (which are kind of like batteries), both of which I think can be found on the golems we see in-game, and I bet they've made solenoids and circuit boards and capacitors and inductors and all that other fun circuit stuff that functions with magic rather than electricity. And this would just be the inherent magic in Tyria that they're pulling from, not the magic of individuals.

This does bring up a question that makes me want to hide this post from the Inquest, though--if we take the headcanon that they're harnessing magic this way, could they pull magic directly from a person to make a device work? Would that have different effects, since an individual's magic tends to be class-based, and could they ever possibly be beneficial or useful or would devices just explode? I hope no one from the Inquest has tried anything like this; I have to imagine that people are worse batteries than crystals, and draining their magic for a device would most certainly hurt if not outright kill them. But considering that it's pretty much canon that they put people's brains in golems both as an experimental method and as a torture one, I don't have high hopes on that point :P Alternatively, and on a slightly less evil-scientist (but still angsty) note, if an important magitech device malfunctioned at a critical time and needed a power source because for whatever reason its original one wasn't working, could it be modified to pull power from the operator instead? This entire thing might not be possible at all, of course; the magic produced by a person might not be in a form that's usable for a device, just like ATP (our cells' energy molecule, to oversimplify) can't really power an electrical grid.

And if magic is like light or electricity, is it possible to build something that acts as an insulator for magic? Or is that not possible because magic is such an intrinsic thing in Tyria that it permeates everything on some level? I could see either one.

19. Can skimmers actually go underwater or is it just a gameplay mechanic to satisfy the fans?

I 100% believe they can actually go underwater! They are completely made to swim if you look at their design, and though I do think they breathe air and don't have gills, I headcanon that they can hold their breath for quite a long time underwater, potentially as long as some whales can--up to 90 minutes or even more. @mystery-salad gave me the lovely image of a shoal of skimmers in the ocean, snacking on tiny plankton and other small things, so I'm passing that on here as well. Also, stingrays burrow in the sand to hide from predators, and I definitely think skimmer pups will do that too (underwater only, above water the sand's too hot for them) when their parents are away (if their parents care for them, which I headcanon they usually do, at least for the first year or so).

(Side note, did you know a group of stingrays is called a fever and a group of manta rays is called a squadron? I didn't until just now and thought I'd pass that on, too xD )

24. Wild card slot. Just anything that’s on your mind

Ever since I answered the question about the Mordrem and the Branded and what happens to them after their masters die, my brain's been throwing around what happens to the Icebrood and the destroyers after Jormag and Primordus are gone. (tw: discussion of injuries in the next paragraph)

As far as any of Jormag's minions/followers who were touched by their magic go, there's gonna be a lot of melting involved. I grabbed this from the icebrood wiki page: "Recently corrupted icebrood are merely covered in ice, still having blood in their bodies, while older icebrood are said to have frozen insides." So anyone turned recently has a chance of surviving, but those who weren't are most likely dead. Also, even if they do survive, they could be left with pretty dangerous injuries (see: Bangar and the "unfortunate" holes in his throat because of being the Voice and having a spiky ice collar). There's also a high probability of cellular or brain damage from being frozen that long; cells can burst when frozen. I think the Frost Legion, or whatever's left of them, will probably survive with faculties intact, though injured for sure. And the Frozen are confirmed to be alive inside their magic prisons, so I'm going ahead and saying they're all right, too.

My first instinct for the destroyers was to say that they would continue on being a nuisance, kind of like the Branded or the Risen might, but if they react the same way as Jormag's minions, they won't be able to maintain their warmth anymore without Primordus. They'll slowly cool and solidify, like lava, and thus won't remain a threat for long. Tyria might get some frustrating (because they could get stuck to the ground) but kinda neat statues out of that whole process, and I bet the asura (and everyone else) would run lots of tests on the leftover volcanic rock.

[thesolotomyhan]

Narcos México: Dating them would include: (3/7)

In the end, Chapito won the vote so imma just leave this here, the next headcannon shouldn’t take long to come out since I already have it done! I hope I did My Chapito justice in this! Enjoy ❤️

Warnings: NSFW!

Tags: @visintaes

Let me know if you want to be added in future posts☺️

Chapo:

Chapito🥺,,, he’s an old school type of guy ok

He was taught to respect women, you can tell that by the way he is with his mother

He’s really, and I mean really, romantic with you

Uggh, I go soft just thinking about Chapito

He wasn’t necessarily nervous when asking you out for your first date, because I can definitely see that you guys were close friends

So he had no sweat when asking if you wanted to go see a movie or something..

The only thing he did seem to worry about was thinking that maybe you were going to reject him and he didn’t want to lose your friendship,,,

Oh god, can you see the smile that shows up on his face when you tell him yes without hesitation🥺

Such a pure ass and loving relationship

And the definition of what a gentleman is

He always wants to make you happy and he wants to be the reason for that feeling

Always buying you antojitos on the way to see you or if you’re both just walking down to the streets of Sinaloa

Dates in his hometown, just hear me out, he loves showing you what he grew up around and what he would do

He would be presenting you to everyone he knows with a proud ass smile as he holds your hand

“Te presento a mi futura esposa”🥺

And All the time, whenever he’s with you, he has his arm slinged around your shoulders because it’s easier to kiss your head

I feel like he prefers to give you small pecks on your lips and your temple in public, it’s such a soft gesture- ughh

But he also loves to just gently grab your face and kiss you before he has to go work

“Te amo, mi vida, cuidate, y llámame si ocupas algo.” Such a worried bby, I’m dying

On your dates, he pulling as much details as he can, like decorating the place really nice, getting you a nice bouquet of flowers and about 95% of the time he’s giving you something his mom sent him with

His mother ADORES you, I repeat, just absolutely adores you, she believes that Chapo scored the lottery with you and you can’t tell me otherwise that she will defend you

I just wow- she sends things she knows you’ll like with Chapo when he goes to see you

I can just see that he’s in a rush to go pick you up for your anniversary date, like he’s already running out the door when his mom calls out to him

“Mijo, espera, ten, llevale esto para mi nuera”

“Pero ma, ya le lleve un regalo ayer”

“Y que tiene? Dile que se los hice con mucho amor, para hoy”

I can’t-

That being said, Cochi is also cheering you guys on from the sidelines, even when he third wheels all the time with you guys

I can just see the time Miguel was throwing his birthday party, Cochi is scoffing in the back of the car because he’s the only one who didn’t bring a date

“Podrían haberme dicho que iban a traer a sus mujeres, me hubiera quedado en la casa”

“Pues, no chingues Cochi, esto es el amor verdadero, algo que tu no entiendes”

The banter between y’all is what I live for

But he low key enjoys being the single funny friend in his eyes

He also just loves seeing his carnal, Chapo being happy with you, someone he’s known and cared for like a younger sister

So, Chapo is always inviting you to come to parties with him because he gets to show you off

And he also really enjoys being around the people he considers his family

You can’t tell me this man will not whisper jokes to you and Cochi about the Arellanos,

Chapo loves seeing you laugh at his jokes and how he’ll bully and get on the Arellano-Felix's nerves

I just know that Chapo would be one to just drag them about how he has no vergüenza bringing his mujer to parties unlike them,,

he has that smile on his face because he just knows he’s getting the rise out of them

Chapito always has you basically squished into his side when you’re sitting down, it makes him feel safe that you’re right at his side and in arms reach

I’m screeching, can you imagine dancing banda with this man🥺

“Vente, vamos a bailar, mi amor”

The way he fucking holds you as he gets carried away with you in his arms- I can’t

I can see Cochi yelling something like

“Que vivan los novios!” Because you know he would, escandaloso el cabrón

just Couple Goals!

You know that time Güero told Chapito he’s not an idea kind of guy when he mentioned building a tunnel

I feel like after that, Chapo would come home to you and just bury himself into your neck,

He would then tell you what happened and how disappointed he was

but you just grab his cheeks and tell him to go for it, prove hector wrong

Because like, cmon that’s hella smart that Chapo would think about building tunnels to transport things

God, you’re his #1 fan and always pushing him to follow his dreams🥺

Hyping him up when he wears his fancy shirts! Ugh

The soft heart eyes he gives you is everything

He’s also always helping you make tortillas calentitos while your making food, I’m so soft

Going back to his mother, can you just imagine the smile he has when he sees his two favorite women bonding and laughing while making food or desserts in his childhood home, I-

Or the way he can let his shoulders slump after a long day when he comes home and your escorting him to go sit down and eat the dinner you made as you kiss his temple

He has that graceful smile because you care for this man with your whole life

Soft! Mornings with him-

he’ll either hold your hand or have you hugged into his side as you both drink cafecito with pan dulce in the morning-

I’m in love with Chapito

NSFW:

Haha, I’m in danger.

Such intimate ass sex with this man, it makes me weak

I don’t know, Chapito gives me soft vibes, ya feel?

🥺,, I’m listening to Hermosa Experiencia by Banda MS, and I’m crying, it describes what I’m trying to say-

Anyways

He’s taking his time getting to know your body and how you react to his movements

Your pleasure comes before his ok, he’s worshipping you like a queen

Soon he’ll know your body better than you:

So, he has to look at your face when you have sex, it just makes him harder than he already is

This man is caressing your body as he thrusts into you and praising how fucking beautiful you look

“Mi preciosa mujer, solo para mi”

He lives for being as close as possible to you, so he’ll have his arms resting near your head as he thrusts into you

I can just see it, the way he wrinkles his eyebrows when he sees you throw your head back from the pleasure as you let out moans

He places his hand on your cheek and lets it rest there from how he makes you feel because it’s just that GOOD-

“te gustó eso, ¿verdad, amor?”

Or The way he sighs as he drops his head in your neck when he feels his orgasm coming up and let’s out muffled groans as he pulls you by the hair to expose your neck more

That’s his favorite spot, your neck, he just really loves giving you kisses there

And the feeling of your hands locking behind his own neck-

Can’t tell me that couch sex is not a thing in your relationship

Like, this is where you’re guiding him back as you both get lost in each other

he gets carried away with kissing you as it is,

Your pushing him into the couch as you straddle him and he looks at you with the most loving expression I’ve ever seen

god the atmosphere is so full of love for each other- I can’t

Going back to exchanging the most intimate kisses as he starts to come back to function normally

He starts to lose his patience when you begin to grind your hips on his as you reach down to unbuckle his belt and pants-

He’s trying to hurry to help you take off your clothes and once your both fully nude in front of each other

The whole situation slows down

FuCk, you’ll grab the side of his face as you stare into each other and he’ll place his hands on your hips as he smiles- I’m gonna cry

When you finally sink down onto him he’ll let out a deep breath as you bite your lip

The most euphoric position for him, and keep in mind it doesn’t have to happen on the couch all the time, he loves this position equally on your bed-

He’s able to just wander his hands all over your body and be able to clearly see how his cock disappears inside you- ok, someone please kick me out

It’s a steady buildup from there that will leave you both being drunk off one another

Like you’ll start by slowly grinding yourself on top of him to soon enough, bouncing on him

When Chapo just can’t hold himself back anymore, he’ll meet you halfway and take over

He pulls you even closer as he gives you the most deep thrusts that have you only remembering his name

Holy Fuck, the ways he groans when you pull on his hair while you’re riding him and digging your nails into his shoulders

Chapito only reserves sex in the safety of your own home when no one is around

I feel like he’s tried having sex somewhere in public with you just for the thrill of it but you both got caught by Cochi

Like Chapo is making you feel so many things at once as you’re looking up at him, gripping his arms, as he just pounds you into the office desk

And neither of you heard when the front doors open from all the fucking noise you’re both making and then you just hear-

“Pinche Chapo, si ibas a hacerlo en público, deberías haberme invitado, no chingen”

You swear you never saw Chapo move so fast to cover you and throw something at the door

“Chinga tu puta madre, Cochi”

You’re just blushing as you both hear Cochi laughing as he hollers to Güero about what he found

Since then, Chapo would rather explode from sexual tension to get home than have you go through that again

But even when he avoids embarrassment in front of his friends he can’t avoid it with him mother

I just know, she would eventually ask you both when you’re giving her grandchildren and when’s the wedding date-

God, don’t get me started on how he’ll treat you after your wedding day- I can’t

He treats you so gentle but just right to get you on cloud 9

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Colston Hall in Bristol, UK - November 18, 1975

x

The photos could be from either night.

This article from the November 29 issue of Sounds chronicles the second night in Bristol.

Queen triumphant

QUEEN ARE the type of group that make a man want to abandon rock writing. They pose questions and never provide answers. They exist in their own space-time continuum, visible and audible but keeping their secrets to themselves.

On the surface they couldn't be a nicer bunch of people, but they carry English reticence to an epitome. It isn't, as Geoff Barton said two weeks ago, that they're boring, it's just that they're reserved. Or in writer parlance, they don't automatically provide colourful copy. All my instincts as a writer tell me that there is a great story in that band, but after two nights with them I'm hardly any the wiser.

Skin tight

That their insularity has a lot to do with them being one of the most amazing heavy-metal and/or rock bands in Britain - with all the signs that they'll end up monsters on the order of Zep - is fairly obvious, but just how much bearing it has on the matter is hard to say. The enigmas they might pose mightn't even have answers.

Is there any logical reason why they present an image and persona straight out of the Beatles school of interlocking chemistry?

John is reserved, almost nonchalant on stage, as if it's all in a small, personal joke. When asked how he saw himself within the framework of the band he replied, with a small smile, "I'm the bassist".

Roger is his opposite, the cheeky sidekick in a Clint Eastwood movie, and attracting a lot of cheesecake attention in America and Japan.

Freddie is an original - one of the most dynamic singers to tread the boards in quite a few years. His attraction is obvious.

Brian is perhaps the biggest enigma of all. What is this seemingly frail, gaunt astronomer doing on that stage, striding purposefully and blasting diamond-hard rock? They're all equally strong personalities - like the Beatles there's no one major focal point. Ask four fans who their dream Queen is and you'll get four different answers.

Queen have been busy lads these past few months. Having disassociated themselves from their former management and joined with John Reid, the fourth album was seen to. Reid decided that a tight schedule wouldn't cause them undue harm, and figured on two months to record before embarking on this current tour.

Only Queen are driven to better each previous album - which at this stage of the game is obviously producing some excellent results - and 'A Night At The Opera' turned into a saga - culminating in 36-hour mixing sessions in an effort to allow at least a few days for rehearsal. In the end they managed three and a half days at Elstree with four hours off to videotape the promotional film for 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.

Their first few dates had not been without errors and the quartet were still not feeling totally comfortable their second night in Bristol, fourth night of the tour. You'd never know it, though.

Like all other aspects of the group, the stage is sophisticated. A black scrim provides a backdrop bounded by a proscenium of lights both front and rear. At each side the p.a. rises like a mutant marriage of Mammon and Robby the Robot. Amp power is readily evident but the most extraordinary is Brian May's subtle set up: nine Vox boxes stepping back in rows of three. The only packing crate visible is holding a tray of drinks, and you may rest assured that no roadie will rush, crawl or lurk across the stage while the show is in progress unless it's to rescue Freddie's mike from the clawing crowd.

As the auditorium darkens the sound of an orchestra tuning up is heard over the p.a. The conductor taps his baton on the music stand and a slightly effete voice welcomes the audience to A Night At The Opera. The Gilbert & Sullivan portion of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' follows, a brief glimpse of Freddie is allowed, and then in a blast of flares and white smoke the blitzkrieg begins.

Roger is barely visible behind his kit, just his eyes and tousled locks. John is wearing a white suit and playing the-man-who-must-stand-still-or-it-will-all-blow-away. Brian is slightly medieval in his green and white Zandra Rhodes top, while Freddie is...

Around his ankles his satin white pants flare like wings - fleet footed Hermes. Everything north of the knee is skin tight - tighter than skin tight - with a zip-up front open to AA rating. But further south, definitely in X territory, lurks a bulge not unlike the Sunday Telegraph.

There have been sex objects and sex bombs, superstar potency and the arrogant presentation of this all-important area, but never has a man's weaponry been so flagrantly showcased. Fred could jump up on the drum stand and shake his cute arse, leap about and perform all manner of amazing acrobatics, but there it was, this rope in repose, barely leashed tumescence, the Queen's sceptre. Oh to be that hot costume, writhing across the mighty Fred!

Phallic

Freddie is not pretty in the conventional sense of the word; like Mick Jagger of '64, he is his own convention. Also like the Jagger of the time, his stage persona and action is unlike anything else. Although it borrows - like most of the group's plagiarisms - slightly from Zeppelin, in tandem with Freddie's supreme assurance and belief in himself - he always refers to himself as a star - it explodes into something that is a constant delight to watch.

He reacts to his audience almost like an over-emotional actress - Gloria Swanson, say, or perhaps Holly Woodlawn playing Bette Davis. At the climax of the second night in Bristol he paused at the top of the drum stand, looked back over the crowd and with complete, heartfelt emotion placed his delicate fingers to lips and blew a kiss. Any person who can consume themselves so completely in such a clichéd showbiz contrivance deserves to be called a star.

Freddie's real talent, though, is with his mike stand. No Rod Stewart mike stand callisthenics here, just a shortee stick that doubles as a cock, machine gun, ambiguous phallic symbol, and for a fleeting moment an imaginary guitar. He has a neat trick of standing quite still in particularly frantic moments and holding the stand vertically from his crotch up, draw a fragile finger along its length, ever closer to the taunting eyes that survey his audience.

Their show contains lots of bombs and smoke, lots of lights, lots of noise. They fulfil the function of supremely good heavy metal - i.e. you don't get a second to think about what's going on. When they do let up for a few minutes, it's only so you can focus in on the bright blue electric charge crackling between your ears.

Bulldozer

Dominating the sound is Roger's drumming, a bulldozer echo that bounces like an elastic membrane, meshing with your solar plexus so that your body pulses in synch with the thunder. Tuned into that, everything else is just supremely nice icing.

For three days rehearsal, after eight months off the road Bristol was extremely impressive. In speculative mood I quizzed people on how long they thought it would take to headline Madison Square Garden. I was thought a radical at a year and a half. John Reid smilingly assured me it would take a year.

That Queen should end up with John Reid is an entirely logical proceeding. Everything about Queen demands that the world eventually kowtows at their feet in complete acquiescence - so big that bodyguards have to accompany them at every step. Well, no - they found that an annoyance in Japan, but, you know, huge.

Such status demands a Reid or a Peter Grant, and whatever the causes for their leaving Jack Nelson and Trident, an elegant group like Queen is going to look for a man with class. Reid found the idea of managing a group interesting, and having to deal with four strong personalities a challenge. He only concerns himself with their business and ensuring that the year ahead is mapped out. In January they begin a jaunt through the Orient, Australia and America, by which time it's March and they begin preparations for the next album.

Reid's prediction of a year was proven highly credible the next evening in Cardiff. The band had still not paused from the rush up to the tour and spent most of the day relaxing and sleeping - no doubt a factor in their near recumbent profile. Also, unlike most groups, they were keeping their dissatisfaction with the show to themselves.

They stopped off at Harlech TV on the way to see a cassette of the video for 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. The general consensus was quite good for four hours, with much laughter during the operetta. Brian finds film of the group educational - the first time he saw himself was a Mike Mansfield opus for 'Keep Yourself Alive' - "It was 'All right fellows, give it everything you've got but don't move off that spot.' It was terrible." You don't like Mansfield, eh? "Oh, I hate him - we all do... I was horrified when I saw it - I couldn't believe we looked that bad. I looked very static - seeing myself has taught me a lot about stage movement. Some of the things I do are planned for effect, but it's mostly just feeling the audience and communicating that back to them."

Arriving at the motel - several miles out of town - Freddie immediately fell asleep, John held court of a sort, joined later by Brian, while Roger went jogging, a daily event when touring. Tuning in to rock via Bill Haley and Tommy Steele, he became a drummer because he was better at it than guitar. All through school he was in bands; he only went to dental school out of "middle class conditioning, and it was a good way to stay in London without having to work". His mother thought it a bit strange when he opted for a career as a rock star, but she doesn't worry too much now.

The concert starts in much the same manner as the previous night, but there are signs that tonight is work, with posing an afterthought. The endings to most of their songs are magnificent and majestic, especially 'Flick Of The Wrist' and the rapid harmonies of 'Bad Boy Leroy Brown'.

Maniacal

The audience, seeing their faces in town for the first time, are vociferous in their appreciation. Guys know all the words to every song, yelling enthusiastically at every effect and solo. The band picks up, Freddie receiving the crowd beneficently, telling them they’re beautiful.

As the show builds it is obvious that things are gelling more. The previous night Brian had seemed totally out of place, not moving too much, taking solos with the weirdest half blank half possessed stare, talking to himself; cocking ear towards guitar. He was the proverbial stranger in a strange land, one step removed from the plane inhabited by you and me.

Tonight he moves fluidly, the gonzo lead guitarist of a gonzo band. His expressions are just as maniacal, but it only makes him look more demonic. His solo in 'Brighton Rock', an exposition in riffing and echo, is a treat because of his physical response to both music and audience, complete with ham acting. Freddie gets into the same game on 'The Prophet's Song', where he conducts an acapella madrigal with himself. It's a pretty commanding moment.

It’s soon after this that Madison Square seems reasonable. About a minute into 'Stone Cold Crazy' it becomes very obvious that Queen have suddenly Plugged In. Found the metal music machine and Connected. Freddie's movements explode in perfect unison with the music, the lights and surroundings go crazy, and the audience goes berserk.

Freddie asks for requests and receives a roar out of which one can vaguely make 'Liar'. Fred walks along the stage, nodding, agreeing he will do this one and that one while the kids roar on. "I'll tell you what - we'll do them all!"

'Doing Alright' opens slow and portentously. Queen's variation of light and shade is one of the major factors in their popularity, but even so the quiet sections frequently find the audience's mind wandering. One kid starts getting a joint together, totally forgetting it when everything blasts off again; guys talk among themselves, only to instantly leap to their feet, fists flying to the beat.

'Doing Alright' changes into a cha-cha beat, Freddie snapping his fingers, the coolest hipster in town, and then instantly drops into faster-than-light drive - the whole row next to me leaps to their feet as a man, rocking back and forth as Brian roars into a blinding solo.

Two songs later, in 'Seven Seas of Rye', the kids break - very fast - and in five seconds half the audience is a seething mass in front of the stage, climbing on each other in pyramids, sudden openings appearing as a splintering seat sends a few bodies to the floor.

The rest of the show is equally intense, especially for a couple of minutes during 'Liar; where Fred and Brian merge into a tight little triangle with Roger while John stands in front of the bass drum, staring out with his small smile.

Freddie has treated his encores - 'Big Spender' and 'Jailhouse Rock' - differently on successive nights, once appearing in a kimono and in Bristol with rather rude tight white shorts, giving the song title new emphasis. In Cardiff, though, he doesn't bother to change at all. Later it transpired that Brian had twisted his ankle during 'Liar'. While he’s attended to, kids out front pick up chair slivers to keep as mementos.

On the bus back to the hotel Brian sits quietly at the back, chatting with two girls. John sits at the front, as always. Freddie stares out of the window, lost in his own world. Roger bounces around, starts a pillow fight with Brian - which stops as soon as Brian scores a direct hit to the face - then discovers an eight track of 'Sheer Heart Attack', punching it through the channels as he conducts the group. The two hours towards which they have channelled the day's energies are spent.

Ambition

That Queen have become a top attraction through a fair degree of plagiarism is amusing. Stealing is nothing new in rock (or any art for that matter) and mostly Queen use the borrowed material better than the originals. That they would be big I don't think anybody really doubted. All four have immense desire to be successful, and that kind of ambition will keep them slogging until they achieve it.

But there are popular heavy metal bands and there are popular h-m bands. From watching Queen's audience it is apparent that Queen speak for them in a way that bands such as the Who and the Stones and the Beatles spoke (and continue to speak) to their audience. Uriah Heep may be great at what they do, but five years after their demise who'll remember them? Creedence Clearwater Revival demonstrate the same thing - who remembers them? And yet five years ago they were the largest band in the world.

Queen will probably always be remembered, because as their tour is beginning to demonstrate, they have the ability to actualise and encompass the outer limits of their sense of self-importance. Queen and their music, presentation, production - everything about them says that they are more important than any other band you've every heard, and who has there been, so far, who has objected? Certainly not the 150,000 people (plus 20,000 a day) who bought 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in the first 20 days of its release. Certainly not me.

See you at Madison Square Garden.

[text © J. Ingham 2007; photos © Kate Simon]

~ You can see the photos which was mentioned on the article, from the link on the title. ~

[anonniemousefics]

My Dearest Inej | Chapter Four

Chapter Masterlist

Originally posted on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up

Synopsis: A series of letters kept among the personal belongings of Captain Inej Ghafa.

Chapter Four: The Hot Air Balloon Ride

My dearest Inej,  

These new treats you’ve sent us from Shu Han are interesting. Wylan and I have been trying to figure out how to open them. Jesper thought he had it figured out (I tried to warn him) and ended up eating wax. Don’t tell me. I’m going to work this out.

Speaking of the wax-eater, Jesper’s birthday is fast approaching, and, given the amount of painfully obvious hints that Wylan has been dropping, I can tell I’m expected to purchase gift. I could use your advice. This is the one thing about being disgustingly rich that I had not taken into account before the Van Eck affair: buying gifts for rich people is impossible. And why should I even? Jesper can buy himself whatever he wants whenever he wants it. That was literally the entire point of the Ice Court and the Van Eck affair. Why am I buying him a birthday gift again? I should be exempt.

This is truly amazing. I am still penning this letter, and I can already tell you’re glaring at me as you read this. Remarkable. How are you doing that? I have to know. I would also like to be able to project my rage and disgust through time and space.

I’ve been hesitant to ask when you’ll be returning to Ketterdam next. I imagine there’s some sort of deficit now, after you spent the extra travel helping after the fire. But I’m bracing myself now. Go on, I can take it. What’s it to be? Five months? Six months? As long as the answer isn’t never, I’ll be at Fifth Harbor whenever you want me.  

Yours,

K. Brekker

P.S. – You’re sure you didn’t accidentally send us just a fancy box of wax, right?

P.P.S. – Never mind. Got it. Toffees are better.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My surprising, delightful Inej,

You probably couldn’t tell, since I don’t possess your otherworldly command of projecting human emotion through dimensions of time and space, but I was actually smiling when I read your letter. I had no idea you were planning on stopping back for Jesper’s birthday. This is great news. That’s, what, three weeks from now? You spoil us.  

I have to be honest, though, I really hate your idea. An experience as a birthday gift? This sounds like work. This sounds like the exact opposite of why we all nearly died trying to get rich. Inej, love. Please. Don’t do this to me.  

Ugh, you’re doing it again. The inter-dimensional glaring. If this is what having a conscience feels like, I’d like to have it surgically removed as soon as possible. So, make a note: that’s the experience I want for my birthday.

Very well. An experience for Jesper. I’ll talk to Wylan for some ideas.  

I just had this sinking feeling in my gut – I don’t actually know when your birthday is. And that is something I should probably know. Don’t kill me. Just let me know in enough time to craft a proper experience. Since apparently this is what we do now.  

Could I just let Jesper shoot me? That would be experience he’d like. And then I don’t have to do anything.

Despite my trepidation, I remain,

Faithfully yours,

Kaz  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Inej, I have to make this quick. Jesper’s getting nosy. These are the ideas Wylan and I have. Pick one so we don’t have to.  

Tickets to the Komedie Brute

Canal cruise with kvas tasting

Hot air balloon ride

Private dining experience in The Lid

Hiring a magician for an exclusive show

Shooting Kaz in a non-vital extremity so he can go home

The last one can be done in combination with any of the aforementioned. Just circle one (or two) and send back posthaste.

Yours,

Kaz

(Hot air balloon ride has been circled and the final suggestion aggressively crossed out multiple times.)

(The letter has been resent with a final note in Kaz’s handwriting)

This is literally my least favorite option, Inej.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(in an unaddressed envelope marked only “Inej – Please use discretion when reading”)

Inej,

I’m just going to hand you this letter tomorrow when you arrive, because I know I can’t say this, especially since I’m not sure we’ll have a chance to be alone before this evening. Gods, Inej, I am spiraling out about this. Just read this and help me think straight.

It’s this hot air balloon ride. I am genuinely not trying to be an ass right now. Let me just paint a picture for you:

What Wylan has described to me after he made the reservation is quite the close-knit, possibly romantic scenario. There’s wine and chocolate-dipped fruit and starlight, and I can tell he’s thrilled about all of it. Jesper will be, too. You picked a great option for him. But this ride is for all four of us. They’re going to be as they are – comfortable, close, enjoying each other as they do. And you and I. Well. We’re you and I. I can’t do this yet. I want to but I can’t, especially not in a tiny basket in the sky. Inej, I am freaking out. I do not want to vomit in a wicker basket hundreds of feet over unsuspecting tourists. Or worse, faint and fall out of said tiny basket to my inevitable death. Although, in the latter scenario, at least I won't have to concern myself with how the rest of the Dregs will react to my very public disgrace. While all of this would definitely make for an experience, I don’t think it’s what Wylan has in mind. This is exactly why I don’t do celebrations.

You’re going to be disappointed. I can already picture your face. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I am sorry I keep saying sorry when what you want to know is that this will have no echo. I can’t promise that yet. I suppose the word I’m looking for is regret. I am full of regret. I am so full of regret and disgust with myself that I might explode. Remember this is not you. This is not a reflection of how much I want you. How do I do this? How do I not turn this birthday into an absolute shitshow?

He really can’t just shoot me in the leg? It’s just a leg. It’s not like it was a fully-functioning leg to start with.

Help.

(addition in Inej’s handwriting)

Just wear your gloves. Do whatever you need to do. If you’d rather, I’ll stand on the complete opposite end of the basket and make faces at you all night. I’m honestly happy you’ve told me all this first, even if you did have to write it. This is far more preferable than you not saying anything at all and making yourself uncomfortable and angry all night. Now we can make a plan, and no one has to faint. This does not have to be a shitshow.  

Here is the plan: no one touches your skin tonight. I’ll cut anyone who even tries. Take all the personal space you require.

But no one’s going to shoot you, no matter how much you beg for it. Might as well let that one go.

Does this help?

(addition in Kaz’s handwriting)

You are an actual Saint, did you know that?    

Don’t stand on the opposite end of the basket, though, if you don’t mind. If you don’t find the gloves particularly offensive, I’d like to keep you nearby and at least attempt to be a little normal.  

Thank you for this, Inej. I owe you one.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the one, the only, the indispensible Inej –

I don’t even know where to begin thanking you for a truly spectacular birthday. I expected nothing at all, and I have been completely blown away. Wylan said the hot air balloon ride was your idea – or rather, one of his ideas but you gave your stamp of approval. Easily the best moment of the night. You know me well. And your magic trick? We need to know the secret. You know what I’m talking about. How the hell did you convince Kaz to come along? He didn’t even seem particularly miserable, from what I could tell. I’ll confess to being a little preoccupied. Wylan really outdid himself. Hopefully, you both really did enjoy yourselves and you weren’t just lying for my sake.  

Thank you for coming. Thank you for caring. Thank you for planning. Just a thousand thank yous for being Inej and being around with all of your Inej-ness for my birthday. It was the cherry on top of a perfect night.  

I’m going to get you back. Prepare yourself for the best birthday of your life.

All my love,

Jesper  

P.S. – And thank you for the toffees. I’m not sure how you knew the exact moment we were all finally starting to crave them again. I don’t know whether to be impressed or afraid of how well you predict us. But I’m not going to think about it because there are toffees here again and all is well with the world.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej.

If I live to be a hundred, I won’t forget this night. I want to always remember the way you look in starlight. I’m going to bed remembering the look of your elated smile in the glow of the balloon. The way that laugh of yours echoed over the city. Forget inter-dimensional glaring. I want to know how you are able to take these seemingly mundane moments and turn them into cherished, joyous occasions. That’s not a trick. That’s actual magic that you do. I don’t know if I’ll ever be bored of it.

And in case you’re worried, I’m not writing intoxicated this time. I didn’t even taste the wine. If I’m drunk on anything, it’s remembering how it felt to hold you close while we floated over Ketterdam. The way you smiled up at me when I did. The way you held me back, and I felt miles away from the water in a way I’ve never felt before.

An experience as a gift. I get it now. No amount of kruge could have bought that moment. You are the devastation, Inej. You devastate my expectations in the best possible way.

Now focus on your task at hand. However long this next journey of yours takes, know that I am contented as I wait. I feel now as if I’m richer than I’ve ever been.

With all of my heart and without a shred of armor,

I’m yours,

Kaz

(found written on the back, translated from Suli)

Sankta Elizabeta.

Help me with this man and his dueling personalities.

When asked what he thought of the balloon ride that night, his single response in its entirety, and I quote:

“It was nice.”

What do I do with this?

[detonizing]

headcanon.

50 headcanon challenge prompted by @bnharpchub​ bc so many people were doing it on dash and my restraint is only so strong 

coming up with 50 new headcanons was so difficult jfc AWOEINAWE i cheated a bit and some of them mention hcs I already wrote about before, but I did my best to focus on a different part of it to give it a new spin so it’s technically new....ish. awoieNAWEIAWNE

he learned how to cook because his parents were always busy and he wasn’t going to just expect them to cook for him when he could just do it himself ( he learned a whole LOT of things because he realized he could just do it himself )

he doesn’t usually keep things for sentiment reasons. there ARE a few exceptions, but for the most part if it’s important enough to remember he’ll just simply remember it 

he likes the view from up high. mountain climbing really made him aware of that, and it was a part of the reason why he wanted to learn how to fly ( that, and just the fact of it being practical, using his quirk to enhance movement ) 

sometimes puts on a clear coat of nail strengthening polish during weeks of particular harsh training. he would put on coloured polish too, but they often get ruined very quickly because of how much he uses his hands and so he doesn’t see the point to do it often 

his sweat isn’t actually toxic ( mostly bc I do NOT want to deal with all the problems having toxic sweat would cause, but there is more to it that I’ll write in depth of another day when I’m less lazy ) 

His volume is one of the few ways he feels like he can be heard. His mother is also a very loud person, and growing up he would be stuck in situations where if he doesn’t yell LOUDER, he won’t be heard. If he is WILLINGLY quiet around you, that is a sign of trust, a sign that he’s comfortable enough to not feel the need to be loud. 

he cannot stand his mouth being covered, nor does he take well to being told to keep quiet. He GETS that not many people appreciate his loudness. He KNOWS there is always time and place. But being loud is a defensive mechanism, and it being taken away against his will just messes with him a lot. 

speaking of, a large part of why he got the ‘i dont give a fuck about anyone else’ attitude is because no one would really care about him. It wasn’t just because he had a big head. He was acutely aware that people around him would praise him and rise him up, but never actually listen to him or cared what he wants. Why should he care about other people if no one gave a fuck about him? ( he knows better now )

he’s cautious about giving villains second chances. it’s not like he’s against giving villains a chance at redemption ( he knows he’d be a fucking hypocrite if he was ) but he also is realistic, and knows that some people are just shitheads and will refuse to change no matter what. knows that some people will take advantage of people with bleeding hearts ( cOUGHS like dEKU’s COUGHS ) and so he’s just. very wary and distrusting. he’ll give you a chance, but he’s going to watch you during it. 

if the ranking system of heroes gets abolished, it won’t really affect Katsuki’s goals. from the start when he says ‘number one hero’ what he cares most about is being number one by HIS standards. ofc he was planning to get ranked number one too, but if such a system falls apart, he’d just make sure he becomes the Best till no one can argue against it either way 

katsuki has always used his quirk often. he hates rules regulating quirk use because it’s so stupid to him. how the hell was he going to become number one if he didn’t know how to use his own damn quirk? ofc he still tried to abide by the law well enough, in public refraining for the most part ( but his middle school very obviously was super lacking in discipline so he just didn’t bother hiding his usage of quirk there )

his quirk acts up when he has high emotion — but MOST of the time, that is less him losing control and more of a conscious decision on his part. resisting the urge to explode when his body is aching to is dangerous, so it’s better to let loose small, controlled, explosions when the time comes. He works hard to keep control of his quirk, he knows when it’s best to just let explosions loose and when he can hold it in

even without explosions he has a habit of his fingers twisting or fist clenching when he’s high strung. restricting his hands in any way, esp during these times, are an absolute no for him. he WILL react violently if you take away his only method of physically defending himself. 

the reason why he NEEDS to be able to defend himself at all times comes from his lack of trust. He doesn’t WANT to rely on other people, because they could mess up so it’s just better to do it himself. so if people try and stop him from doing it himself.... just nope. 

he’s so so so SO bad at accepting compliments. he’s used to empty meaningless compliments, praise for things he didn’t even earn, so getting actual compliments that are WORTH something. it’s. a lot. he doesn’t know how to properly handle it yet so his first reaction is to reject it somehow ( either by telling the person they are being an idiot, or finding fault in the compliment itself, or something along those lines ) 

he has a base respect for pro heroes in general, because he understands that they have experience he is obviously lacking being a student. but he won’t be blinded by their status. if they fuck up, they fuck up and no ‘hero’ status will keep him from recognizing that 

he doesn’t actually hate quirkless people. he never really has. he had a problem with DEKU, but not exactly quirkless people in general. he started calling Izuku as “Deku” before he knew that he would never get a quirk. He called him ‘deku’ because izuku would fail at bouncing a ball or skipping stones and such ( back then, almost ALL people were ‘useless’ to him, not just quirkless people aoweinaoweianwe ) 

he as sharp teeth. not enough to be called fangs or anything, but they are definitely sharper than average ( he’s a little gremlin so I must give him sharp teeth ) 

he’s still struggling to ask for help. he can easily admit that he needs backup when it comes to hero works — knows that teamwork is essential at times and saving and BEING saved in turn is how being a hero is. BUT for PERSONAL things? Outside of being a hero? As a person??? He doesn’t know HOW to ask for help with that. 

He’s ALWAYS been super independent. so people just. expect him to be fine on his own. HE himself expected to be fine on his own. But by the time he realized wait no, I’m not fine. People stopped trying to check up on him. ( until U.A., but then old habits die hard. but he’s learning ) 

he tends to shower at night more than in the mornings, because he often works out not too long before bed. he also just takes more than one shower a day if needed ofc he takes hygiene seriously

he HATES when he can’t get a full night’s sleep. And sadly ever since getting kidnapped it’s been happening more and more often. he’s unused to functioning without a full eight or nine hours, so he gets cranky all day and feels fucking awful. He used to hate naps, felt like a waste of his day, but they’ve become a bit of a necessity with how shit his sleeping pattern has become. ( plus jordyn’s shoto has shown him the wonders of napping aowienawe ) 

he doesn’t take long to get ready in the morning. even if he needs to dress differently for an occasion or anything, he doesn’t spend long trying to decide what to wear

his quirk isn’t affected by rain or water like people would expect, but it’s fucking COLD so he still hates getting wet

he’s really good at fighting even without his quirk. he absolutely has thought of situations where he couldn’t use his quirk to full capacity, and so he decided he needed to kick ass even without it

he’s really level-headed in battle!!! despite how he acts, he ALWAYS considers all options and acts on the best one. He just thinks really fast and acts the way he does so it SEEMS like he’s charging in without thinking ahead. That being said, he used to often underestimate his opponents so he’d sometimes make the wrong call. He’s getting MUCH better at not doing that lately tho

he doesn’t really celebrate his own birthday. he gets well wishes from his family, often they’d get a cake maybe, but he doesn’t really WANT or NEED presents, so he had his parents stop trying to gift him things years ago. His birthday is SUPER close to the beginning of the year, so it is often times overlooked by his peers too, but he doesn’t care

Katsuki is demisexual!! He can recognize when people are traditionally attractive, but he doesn’t really fucking care and isn’t attracted TO them. It’s only once they’ve become someone he actually CARES about could he then develop any feelings beyond platonic ones ( no love at first sight here )

he’d NEVER pick up smoking, and even when of age he’d very rarely drink. He wouldn’t want his health to deteriorate by stuff like that. And he wouldn’t want his ability to think be hindered by alcohol

he doesn’t like lying unless for good reason ( like hiding ofa ) but he doesn’t see lying by omission as the same. To him, that’s just him deciding it’s no one’s business and so there’s no need for him to admit to anything

people have tried to bully him as a kid. we’ve seen him chase off older kids in canon before. It wasn’t just a one time thing. It was pretty constant, actually. Other kids, usually those older than him, would hear about him and his attitude and try and ‘put him in his place’ It’s not like he was very popular as a kid, it’s just that Katsuki always WON any fights so no one could actually do anything to him

his nicknames, for the most part, aren’t actually meant to be insulting. Besides like Deku, and when he called Todoroki “holding back bastard”, the rest are just,,, descriptions in his mind aowienAWE ThEY ARE RUDE AF but he doesn’t actually seek out the rudest name he can think of to call people. It’s just whatever comes to mind first

he doesn’t actually mind when people call him out on his shit anymore. he’d in fact admit that they have guts to do so. If they try and call him out on BULLSHIT though, then he’d get angry bc they are just wasting his goddamn time. 

he KNOWS when his classmates are purposefully manipulating him to doing something by phrasing it as a challenge. It’s just he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll rise to the challenge anyways and prove them all WRONG. 

If he really doesn’t wanna do something, there’s absolutely nothing that could get him to do it 

his way of SHOWING that he cares is through actions and gifts. Doing things for people ( studying, cooking, etc ) that he cares about comes naturally to him

On the contrary, he struggles to process it when people try and show that they care the same way. He doesn’t like getting gifts, and he rather do the things he needs to himself??? The easiest way he can understand people showing that they care is through quality time. If you are willing to spend time with him, seek him out? He can get that means you WANT to. ( if this is proven wrong it’d shake his entire acceptance in that person. he’d struggle to believe that they care for him at all in any way after ) 

once you broke his trust, it’s impossible to gain it back. he DOESNT trust easily. he takes so many careful measures to prevent himself from trusting the wrong person. if he gave you his trust you better fucking treasure it, because it’s only given out once. That being said, there are different levels of trust that katsuki gives out — as seen on his relationship page. Level two trust is when it starts getting serious. If you have that, that’s when if broken it’s unfixable. Level one trust is a toss up if broken, very dependent on situation

soft smiles are hard to come by from katsuki! We’ve all seen his confident grins in the face of danger all the time — he smiles a lot during challenges and battle!! But soft ones? Full of fondness and love? They are pretty rare. And even when they DO happen, often it’s only when no one can see

His EYES are actually what turns soft first!! You have a better chance catching his eyes and eyebrows turn a bit less aggressive, but again they aren’t exactly common per say. He doesn’t like showing such expression unless he feels like attention is off him. ( he just. isn’t USED to expressing himself this way. so he doesn’t really like when people draw attention to when he does. because it makes him feel like he did something wrong, in a way )

it’s actually easy to make katsuki flustered and embarrassed. he’S not uSED to it so he’s weak let him live aowieNAWE his ears are the first to turn red!!! but if you really get him embarrassed he does go completely red sorry kats

he does all of his homework well in advance. he hates leaving ANYTHING to the last minute, really

he’s done modeling work as a kid. sometimes he still does, but very rarely. He doesn’t exactly hate doing it, but he just isn’t the least bit interested so he rather spend his time doing something else. When he does do it, you bet he takes it 100% seriously.

he won’t argue if someone calls him a shit person. he knows that he is, and he refuses to deny that. what DOES piss him off though is when people solely focus on how shit of a person he is to the extend of disregarding the perfect results he gives. He’s a shit person, but he’s still the BEST and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

he also knows that he is changing, because it’s a conscious effort on his part TO change. But that’s also the thing. He’s working hard to not be shitty ALL the time, but that doesn’t change the fact that at his core, he’s still not a NICE person. he’s acutely aware that the things he struggles so much with, comes so easy to other people. He wont let this STOP him , he’s never called it quits before just because something was difficult for him, but it still sucks. knowing just how much effort he’s putting into this when some people barely think about it at all

katsuki was well versed in medical knowledge even before U.A. Not because he was thinking about how heroes may need to give emergency care on the field, but just from his own injuries during self training. he needed to know how to treat them properly so it doesn’t cause him problems in the future 

katsuki runs hot, but he gets cold easily. Because he’s used to keeping himself running at high temperatures, his concept of cold is different than most other’s. Suddenly being in like sixty five degrees Fahrenheit feels COLD to him

intended use for furniture are only suggestions. That means yes, he WILL sit on top of desks and counters, stand on top of chairs, and put his feet on the bed while he lays on the floor if he so goddamn chooses. 

no matter how close with a person he is, he’ll eventually need time alone and his personal space left untouched. It takes a lot to get to the point where physical touch is something he’d allow, ( having both touch starvation and touch aversion in equal parts ) but even with people he is completely comfortable with, sometimes it still gets to be TOO mUCH and he needs to step back. he has bad days, too. where just a brush of contact would set him off and he can’t understand himself why it happens. all he knows is that he really hates those days.

it still stings, the knowledge that All Might never even considered him for a possible successor. he was RIGHT THERE when all might picked izuku, after all. and all might can say all he wants about how ‘he was already powerful, he wanted to give midoriya a fighting chance’ or whatever. he knows he was never a contender. it’s not that he WANTS ofa though. he is perfectly happy with his quirk. It’s not even that it’s deku who ended up getting it, he in retrospect is glad deku can fight him now. It’s just. in the end, he’s always always lacking something. it just fuels to his belief of never being good enough when it counts. because HE is NEVER anyone’s first choice to be the up and coming number one. He’s GOING to be. He’ll prove EVERYONE wrong. But, it sure would be nice. Someone else believing in him, too.

[dailyspider2880]

L'appel Du Vide

In the mind, we know of processes, thoughts, and feelings. But we are missing a few crucial pieces of information; how does it work? Where does it come from? Some find it unbelievable, but there is a much less scientific explanation that has been found. One that seems as though it comes from a child’s book, merely a piece of the imagination. It calls itself The Mindscape. Man can venture into this foreign land, by accident of course. One cannot seek out such a place as The Mindscape, for it is too unbelievable to the normal human mind. It’s believed that in the afterlife, one can go to The Mindscape freely.

The scenery of The Mindscape depends on the person’s backstory and personality. What they see, what they feel, what they like… The Mindscape is forever changing, it does not have one set look. However, it has a few key features that go across the board. 

The Hall of Memories, The Forest, The River, The Library of Knowledge, and The Brewery. None of these names have been confirmed, merely given to the mysterious land that is The Mindscape. 

The Hall of Memories houses, well, memories. Doors open to each key part of a person’s life, where the memory can be replayed. From learning how to walk to one’s death, all and any memories can be seen. Some doors have locks, these are presumed to represent memories that were forgotten, unimportant, or something of the matter. If in the afterlife, all of these doors shall unlock. 

The Library of Knowledge is a closely guarded building within The Mindscape. Large locks adorn all possible entrances and exits, preventing anything from getting in (more about this later). It houses shelves upon shelves of books, the book containing what was learned in life. Writers occasionally come into the Library and fill in what has since been learned. In most Mindscapes, there’s a book that can be found from behind one of the tall bookshelves. This book is what tells us of The Mindscape, generally with just pictures and not much of anything else. 

The Forest is a special place, with the River running through it and the creation of the creatures. The Forest’s appearance will change depending on the person’s life story. For example, someone who lived in or near a snowy and cold forest will see that in their Mindscape. As mentioned, creatures will make an appearance in The Forest most, if not all, of the time. There will rarely be any creatures to never spawn there, and more details will be provided on some individual creatures later.

The River runs through The Forest, it’s generally a winding stream tinted with a faint lavender and blue color. If one were to look closely, they would find words, thoughts, imagery, etc. The River flows off of unused thoughts, actions, words, and feelings. When someone thinks of saying something but decides against it, those words get sent to The River. Sometimes The River is bustling, fast, and powerful, others being just a trickle. 

The Brewery is, unfortunately, not a place to grab a pint when done exploring. The Brewery, rather, brews emotions. Dangerous concoctions of anger and love, sadness and guilt, self-loathing, and irrationality. There are, of course, many more combinations that are possible, but also The Brewery can stir up pure emotions as well. Pure anger, sadness, disgust, joy, etc. 

Creatures. The creatures are the most difficult part of The Mindscape to explain. There are many of them and they vary greatly between each person. It’d be near impossible to list every single one, but they’re one of the key functions. A few will be listed here, along with short descriptions.

OCD; a slightly frightening being, is proportionally tall and lanky (goes to about knee height on the average human being). Half black and half white, one side representing obsessions and the other representing compulsions. OCD interacts with paranoia and intrusive thoughts directly. OCD can cause intrusive thoughts to either multiple or get larger. OCD will cause paranoia to appear scarier to the human eye.

Intrusive thoughts; A black creature that floats around, looks particularly smokey and the color lightens up as you near the end of its tendrils. They follow the person around and screech. They invade every and any nook and cranny of The Mindscape that they can reach. Their presence stirs emotions high (literally) and can cause more creatures to appear, based on how the human generally reacts to such thoughts.

Paranoia; Paranoia can be described mostly as just a gnat, but larger and with more teeth. It’s approximately the size of a baseball, yet soft. Paranoia likes to fly face-first into humans, smacking them and drawing their attention away. It also hisses… quite the frightening creature and it can send the human into an anxiety attack. 

Anxiety; This creature closely resembles a cat. Anxiety will skitter around The Mindscape, running and jumping. Eventually, they’ll explode into a gooey mess. Anxiety tends to bother the workers in The Brewery, throwing off the emotions of the human vessel.

Depression; depression is a creature that has the appearance of a slimy blue blob. It has a trunk-like feature that suctions onto the human visiting The Mindscape (or the ground if there is no one inside). It consumes the energy from whatever it is suctioned onto. The creature can be easily defeated, however, it comes back frequently unless properly dealt with outside of The Mindscape. And a fun note; it makes a blblblblblbl sound when scurrying away

ADHD; beautiful large bird-like creatures, truly majestic. Very colorful and vibrant. They frequently glitch about and some of its key features will shuffle. ADHD likes to poke around in The Hall of Memories. Multiple ADHDs like to think they all move towards a common goal, but each generally has their idea of what the goal is, and it can pull the person into many different directions all at once. Its colors tend to fade between different pigments, almost always nabbing the attention of the person viewing them.

This hasn’t been previously mentioned in this article, but it wouldn't be a proper report on The Mindscape without mentioning The Void. The Void is the closest thing to a god The Mindscape will ever get. The Void is an otherworldly being, even compared to The Mindscape. It can grant requests, from as simple as giving the vessel a pen to destroying the fate of creatures within the mind. A power like this is not easy to use, and humans have yet to discover its full capabilities.

Surely, all of this sounds as though it’s fiction. It’s not an easy subject to understand, at least… not as an adult. Once a Psychiatrist found his way into this land of wonder, and ever since he’s been using it to explain how the mind works to children patients. They seem to find it believable enough.

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this is some worldbuilding i did for Jekyll & Hyde! some of the sketches were not described and this is purely because i couldnt get my computer to cooperate and crop the image :anguish:

none of this reflects my views on mental health, or how these mental illnesses work.

itd be neat if people ask questions because i like answering them :D

the french translates to The Call of The Void

All art belongs to @c0rpseparts on Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter.

[fimflamfilosophy]

Characters Akimbo, and How to Create Them

A long time ago, I wrote an article called “OCs Akimbo and How to Make Them”. This was in the golden age of the internet when people still owned their own websites and we walked uphill, through the snow, both ways because it was good for our glutes. We didn’t need to be fed a constant stream of memes produced by bots in Malaysia because we were not yet living in a post-ironic, dystopian future where many are forced to work from home or not at all. The joy came to us naturally in those times, and a “meme” was a thing that saved bandwidth, so you couldn’t spam them – bad memes were a waste of money and a waste of good internets.

But that article has been lost, swallowed up like so many other web-ventures of old by the insatiable beast known on Walstreet as FANG (Facebook, Amazon, Netflix, and Google; Netflix is in there because the acronym is rude otherwise). Also, people don’t write articles anymore. They’re too efficient and only run ads at the top and bottom of the page without interrupting what you’re trying to read, unless the author is one of the sub-human monsters that puts ads in the middle of his articles and makes you scroll past them just to get the rest of his insipid opinion. Rest assured, my insipid opinions come without ads in the middle. And likely without ads at the top or bottom, either, because maybe only a hundred people will read this and that’s worth about $0.01 today.

So characters! You want to make a character! Put your hands down, we’re not taking questions until later, so for now we assume you’re reading this because you want to make a character for something. I don’t really care what. Whether it’s for a roleplaying game, which has become more in vogue recently thanks to the show “Stranger Things”, I hear, or because you want to present yourself as a foxy cat-girl getting busy with a catty fox-man in your dirty, filthy Discord group.

If you’re designing a character for amorous roleplay, I assume the reality is that you are fundamentally playing yourself, with all the same excruciating hang ups and personal insecurities, except as an animal. But suppose you didn’t want to play as yourself? How to go about that. Well, there are several ways of thinking about it, but since I’m the author, I will use my tyranny of the mic to write as though my perspective is the only valid one.

You Choose Your Shirt, You Choose Your Life

We’ll start with the basic way to make any character and have it work. Figure out how they feel, and then play everything around coping with those feelings. No, seriously, it’s the simple banality of human existence and anything else you can think of is just going to be taking a back seat to whatever your personal psychosis is. That’s all you are – a wet sack of flesh with crippling mental problems and a strategy to overcome them.

To put this in terms you shouldn’t understand, think of how you choose to put on a shirt in the morning. Maybe you choose the shirt because it says something on it, or because you like a specific color, but how do you know you like that color? How do you know you like the band, or the terrible joke you should be embarrassed to wear in public? When asked these questions, many people will try to draw a string of logic. They’ll say that red is a dominant color, or they want to support their favorite musician, or they’re being post ironic and the point of their joke shirt is that it’s not supposed to make anyone happy.

But these are all falsehoods. Every time you put on a shirt, you don’t actually examine the whole wardrobe on an intellectual level and compare their relative advantages and disadvantages on factors as minute as color. People who do such a thing are considered to be obsessive compulsive, which is considered a disorder because they are barely able to make choices. The more time you spend trying to logically examine such a thing, the less able you are to do anything. The truth is, you pick your shirt on a whim because you feel like it, and you like the color red because it reminds you of succulent berries, or your monkey ancestor’s big red ass, or something. The insistence that red is a “power color” is just something people make up.

Many snap decisions come down to your lizard hind-brain and your feelings. People argue that their intellect is so huge, this is no longer true for them, but emotions actually control most of our decisions because emotions work quickly and easily. If you see something and it makes you scared, or angry, you react accordingly and right away. You don’t have ten minutes to evaluate the sight of a snake and determine based on its colors and head shape whether or not it’s venomous. If your kid climbs a tree, you don’t get to do a lot of math about their weight and the height they’re climbing at before you get nervous. Your instincts and your emotions are the same thing, and it’s how you make the majority of your choices.

There are some exceptions, when you have time, where you can try to evaluate facts and figures and try to let that shape how you feel about something, but in this day and age I’m sure everyone has had enough heated political arguments to realize that for many people, feelings can be difficult to change. In fact, much logic is only presented to specifically alter your feelings, and not necessarily to provide you with more comprehensible information. Ultimately, even things you spend a lot of time thinking about eventually get processed on an emotional level.

The Past and the Future are the Same Thing

So what does all this mean for making a character? Well, let’s divert into a little anecdote. I enjoy role-playing games as a hobby, and learned to play in a group that enjoyed a lot of theater and acting. We often shunned systems that were heavy on rules and templates, and focused mainly on having dynamic character personalities with clear motives, then playing those games around those characters. This made running games fairly easy for the guy in charge, because all he had to do was invent a colorful cast of faces for the group to interact with, and then see who they hated the most, then go from there.

But most groups are not especially fond of acting. Dungeons and Dragons is handily the most popular roleplaying system out there, and it’s no coincidence that it’s also one of the most restrictive in terms of describing your job within the group and telling you what you’ll learn as the game progresses. In D&D, the fighter fights, the wizard wizzes, the rogue steals everyone’s money and has to do everything in secret or otherwise the whole rest of the table declares a spot check every time he does literally anything.

And it was while running a game with a D&D sort of group that I first encountered a player who had written four pages of backstory for their character. Just to reiterate, I learned to play with a group that focused entirely on character motives and acting, and I had never been given a four page backstory before. Once we had enough experience, my old group could typically sum up a character backstory verbally, in a few sentences. It would be easy to remember and you wouldn’t write it down because all the important details were short.

There’s something to delve into regarding brevity, but to focus on this four page character – none of the backstory made sense or really conveyed how the character felt about anything. This character, as far as I can recall, obtained magic powers because he walked down an alleyway, was accosted by cultists, the cultists cast a spell, the cultists exploded, and then the character could cast magic. I think he may have also been some kind of zombie, but I don’t remember because it wasn’t an element that was integral, except, I believe, the player used it as justification to hide their magic powers. They were embarrassed about being undead, or something, and even though the rest of the group was doing magic, the character thought their magic would be linked to their lack of pulse. It wasn’t even useful magic – it was the ability to throw fireballs, so hiding it was the best possible way to make the character non-functional.

The rest of the writing was irrelevant. There was information about family history, past work, blood type – whatever – I barely remember it because it was frosting with no cake. The player never wrote a character. They wrote an expository list of events that were all linked to one person without any sort of personality. That is, the player never really understood how this character felt, or how that shaped their life, and it’s clear they hoped that by writing enough things, eventually a character might take shape. As though you might learn a lot about a man by listing what kinds of weeds were growing in his back yard, or by listing the cities he’s lived in, or by listing a chronological sequence of events the person was present during.

This player, and frankly nobody, should ever require a four page back-story for a character. When it comes to writing a character, the core element of who they are, the past, present, and future are all the same. If this person has anger problems, they probably have a pattern of lashing out, and solving their life’s problems by being too frustrating to deal with. If they’re timid, they probably have a history of conflict avoidance. If they’re smooth talkers, they think they can talk their way through everything. Whatever emotional way people engage with the world around them, they’re likely to behave like that through their past, present, and future. You can know who someone is in the present and know who they’ll be in the future without examining an in-depth historical report of their past. Indeed, how else could we interact with other humans if this weren’t the truth?

People get confused easily, and will quickly insist that the backstory makes the character because they see on TV, constantly, stories about the past. A show will say, “this man is like this because of something that happened to him years ago”. But what you have to realize is that when TV does it, and when it does it well, it’s not the past that defines the character. The past events being described are conflict. Say it with me: CONFLICT. Not character.

Conflicting Over Conflict

Conflict is what a character reacts to, and it drives the story forward. So let’s consider, if you were to show a character’s past, how is that story structured. Well first you begin with a character, right? Because without the character, how do you know how this person will react to conflicts? You don’t. So the character is designed before the backstory. So what is this story of the past? It’s a story about some conflict and how the character interacted with it.

If your character in the present is a knife-wielding maniac, then one plausible story about their past would be when they were confronted by a problem that was solved by stabbing the problem. What this shows you is that the character moved towards this behavior of violence, and it worked for them so they kept doing it. Over time, they came to believe that most problems could be resolved by stabbing things, and that’s just how they live now, but it still takes a specific kind of person to try stabbing something the first time.

If you imagine a violent person, you may also imagine they tried conflict avoidance and it didn’t work. Perhaps they tried being confident, and they were quickly ground down. Finally they resorted to violence and achieved success, but that may have been after a long progression of abuse, which is why they also don’t form personal attachments or trust anyone. These looks at the past can add a lot of flesh and explanation to why your character feels certain ways about certain things – why they feel their life’s coping strategies are the best ones. That’s why when you see them, a good story of the past gives the viewer the feeling that they’ve developed a better sense of who the character is.

Whether the past defines the character or the character defines their past is a chicken and the egg question, and something you as a writer would have to decide. There’s no one answer and there are good ways to go about both approaches, so long as you know who your character is before you start doing any writing at all. Because whatever you write, the event you describe will merely be a conflict, a moment, and how the character reacts to that conflict tells a viewer who that character is.

In and Out of Character

Speaking of role-playing games: you’ll find the overwhelming majority of players are on about the same level as those guys pretending to be cat-girls in their filthy, unspeakable Discord group. That is, most people just play themselves, but with a gimmick. They play themselves, but with a stutter, or they’re french, or a they’re a cat-girl, or a they’re a samurai, or they’re a robot; they can be anything, but not anyone.

This gets a bit more into acting, which actually does play in to every work of fiction. To act properly, you need to be able to put yourself comfortably in the mind-space of your character and behave as though you only know what your character knows. The generations-old story of the rogue that steals from the party is a great example of the challenge at work here.

Imagine you’re facing a lot of life-and-death situations back to back with somebody, but this person is also slippery and difficult to trust. They never let you down openly, but they’re constantly wrangling you into bad contracts that benefit them, and you think they might be embezzling the group’s funds. In terms of writing a story, this is a good opportunity for conflict. A good role-playing group can handle this on the fly, while a typical role-playing group absolutely can’t.

A typical role-playing group always has the same response. Whenever the rogue tries to skim a little money off the top, the whole table rolls “spot checks” to catch the thief in the action, and then prevent him from stealing there in the moment. This is what the people playing the game regard as an enforcement action to prevent stealing – as long as the whole table rolls, someone is usually going to roll high enough to catch the rogue before he gets away with it. But how does every character in the game know to be hyper vigilant all of the sudden? Well, they don’t, and just rolling dice at people isn’t how we solve conflicts like this in the real world.

A good group will actually start to develop suspicions they’re being stolen from only after it happens, as they do their accounting and realize they’re short some cash. They may suspect the rogue, but they rely on him to find and disarm traps, and he’s somewhat irreplaceable. So the conflict now becomes trying to solve that problem without simply executing the rogue on a mere suspicion. The other players have to go out of their way to try set some bait or catch the rogue in the act, and if they prove what he’s done, then there can be a punishment. If the rogue keeps getting away with it, perhaps the party starts establishing rules to try to cull the potential for stealing, and now the rogue has to work around these new restrictions.

The second group is more nuanced and more believable. They’re facing a conflict and trying to figure out a way around it, instead of just using game mechanics to stop it entirely. And while this may seem like it begins and ends with roleplaying groups, the logic here works for most every other medium. You can never just have characters behaving as though they know things they aren’t supposed to know, and the way your characters react should follow the fundamentals of how they feel. Characters react to what they know, not what the audience knows.

Another example that would follow closer to other fiction is the following: quite recently I played a super hero game as a “reformed villain”, which basically meant I was playing a villain. The main hero died, leaving a vacuum in leadership, and at the same time a new, young hero joined the group. My villain character quickly swept in and began mentoring this fresh, young recruit, introducing him to as many morally gray aspects of the job as possible. Using deception to get closer to villains, fighting people who were too insane to know better, sometimes even doing lasting harm to ordinary people in the heat of the moment.

As the game went on, the group demonstrated that being a super hero was a very fine line that was difficult to apply idealism to, but my villain never quite killed anybody. He maimed people. He once dressed as a pizza delivery guy and threw a pizza so hard it knocked somebody unconscious. He sold hotdogs on the street without a permit. All while mentoring this kid and showing him the advantages of tap-dancing on that fine line.

Until the villain did kill somebody. A super scientists who was building deadly “Iron Man” style suits for a gang of terrorists used an ejection seat to try to escape the scene, and the villain threw his shoe. The shoe was thrown so hard, it caused the scientist’s head to burst like it’d been hit by a cannon ball. It all happened in the blink of an eye, against the wind, as the ejection seat rocketed off at dizzying speeds, and the villain claimed the murder was not intentional, even though it was clear at the table that I, the player, the author, had killed the scientist on purpose. It’s something I’d done as a snap decision in reality, because I thought the scientists was dangerous and it seemed in character to make that choice.

What ensued was much less in character. The young ward my villain had been mentoring turned on him instantly and carried on, from that point forward, as though the villain had intentionally killed an innocent man. He used the justification that my villain was very accurate and “never missed”, even though my villain missed his aim plenty of times throughout the adventure. He did not respond to any argument about the potential threat of the scientist, or about the very real possibility of an accident in the heat of the moment.

The player knew it was on purpose. The player felt his naive young character was a fundamentally good person. Ergo, he and the villain were now at mortal odds and could never reconcile. It’s a delicate situation and something that some actual writers could fall into, where the audience is shown the intent behind an ambiguous situation, and somehow the characters come to the same conclusion the audience does even though the characters don’t have the same information.

In television, this is sometimes due to run time limitations. Perhaps the character was supposed to gather more evidence before coming to the conclusion the audience was given, but the evidence gathering was cut to save time. But in a book, or a roleplaying game, there’s really no excuse. Everything should be handled based on what the character knows, and not on what the audience – or in this case the player – knows. At least if you’re a purist. I will be honest and admit there have been some popular works of fiction where characters side with the audience in spite of, in narrative, not even having the same moral system as the audience, let alone their knowledge of the plot.

What you actually should have between the villain and the ward, is a major point of conflict. Not in that the ward knows the villain killed someone on purpose and has an issue with it, but that he doesn’t know if the villain intentionally killed someone. That, in and of itself, is a very real moment of awakening to anyone with idealistic opinions on a job that entails violence and apprehension. It requires soul-searching, and even coming to the conclusion that the villain did kill someone and that it was wrong revolves around a complex set of emotional and moral beliefs.

Such a moment is pivotal to a character. It puts them at their lowest point, where they question all they know and all they ever wanted. Where they doubt everything. And how they come out of that situation? That’s the character’s arc. Denying them of that arc, and simply using the audience’s knowledge to make a fast choice obliterates the character’s development and robs them of an opportunity to tell a story within themselves and to their audience. Using the audience’s knowledge is quick, and keeps you on the same page as the viewers, but it is dirty and tells a less interesting tale.

And Your Point Is…?

So like I mentioned at the start, none of this is actually universal. Some stories are more event-driven, and expository writing can be fascinating as well. You really could write a tale about a sequence of events so long as the events were interesting and kept the audience reading, so a strong character isn’t even always necessary. But for what it’s worth, I think knowing how to make a character in such simple terms makes the whole process of writing much easier. If you know your character, you know how they’ll respond to conflicts, so every story is as easy as thinking up a conflict.

But hey, it’s also true that in some settings, trying to follow the rules of a good character or a good story may hurt you. A lot of role-playing groups will shun that type of thing because they’d rather roll dice at the rogue, and they think the person playing the rogue is in the wrong for trying to skim money from the party, because these people aren’t playing characters, they’re playing a game. They don’t care about an opportunity to have a character conflict with the rogue, they want their money, damnit. The fact they have nothing to spend it on in 5th edition D&D is another matter entirely.

[quixotic-writer]

Midnight Mischief

Requested by: @birdgirl1772

Summary: Of course things were awry on this tour and they were left to relocate motels but could only get two rooms since the hotel was fully booked. Sal and Q share a room and a series of events lead some emotions to bloom.

———————————————————

The boys drug their luggage back to the tour bus completely appalled at the state of their initial motel and decided that wouldn’t be the safest location for them to be spending the night. Joe was busy on the phone back on the bus attempting to call other locations in hopes of some open vacancy for the four jokers.

“I could NOT believe what I saw in my room, it was disgusting I still feel my skin crawling.” Sal exclaims as he thinks about the terror he just witnessed in his room and shivers. Mysterious stains everywhere, pretty sure there were bedbugs crawling about the mattress, the bathroom looked as though it hadn’t been cleaned in ages. Needless to say he was the first person to back out of staying at the sketchy stop, it was a germaphobe’s nightmare.

“I can almost guarantee that there’s been special ‘services’ performed in the room I was in. It reeked of shame and prostitution.” Q chuckled as they finally reached the bus and threw all their things back on board.

“Mine had what i’m pretty sure was a used needle on the dresser! That was fun!” Murr chimes in with his own horror story worthy motel room. They walked on to see Joe pacing in circles, deeply invested in his phone conversation. They watch in awe as the typically goofy character goes serious business mode over the phone. Soon though, the conversation ends and his demeanor quickly shifts back to his normal humorous aura.

“Okay boys, got good news and got some bad news. Good news is I found a half decent non-crime-scene looking motel we can stay at.” He beams with joy and pride.

“And the bad news?” Murr mumbles out.

“Well we only got two rooms, don’t know how but they’re packed. But i’d rather stay in two good rooms than have four health code violation rooms.” The boys all look to each other and they shrug their shoulders. Joe made an amazing point, some sacrifices are willing to be made for their safety and comfort. “I’ll be talking to the tour manager later about this incident. We’ve had some ‘experiences’ in sketchy places but I think we all can agree this one takes the cake.” They erupt into laughter and reminisce on some of their previous run ins with run down battered motels and hotels. As they continued their journey on the road, they all gathered on the sofa of the bus to discuss sleeping arrangements.

“Okay, since i’ve lived with Joe before i’ll just bunk with him for tonight.” Murr says. Sal quickly agreed with the idea knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to stand Murr in a cramped room for longer than an hour, let alone a whole entire night. He wouldn’t have been surprised either if Q was on the same track as he was.

“Cool that means Q and I will be sharing a room tonight then. That alright with you, Q?” All heads turn to the man in question and Q nodded along. In his mind, however, he was trailing off now knowing that he’ll be sharing a room with Sal. He always played up the “Vulquinn” shenanigans just to get reactions out of fans and out of Sal, but the joke slowly became a little too real for him to handle. He would never admit it but he started to have some feelings for Sal. The once playful banter and flirting they kept doing was usually for show around others, but they soon found themselves doing it in their normal day to day lives with and without an audience. The way Sal looked at him made it feel like his heart stopped for a moment, any time Sal grabbed him while laughing so hard made his whole face would go red, and the playful flirting drove him to insanity because he wasn’t sure if it was real or not anymore.

The rest of the short ride was filled with chatter about the upcoming shows and what material they could bring on. Once they had arrived to their new destination, it felt like déjà vu as they unloaded all their stuff and retreated to their designated rooms.

Sal and Q walk to their room and open up the door to see a decent looking single room living area with a bathroom connected. The only issue: there’s only a single king size bed and no sofa, the only chair in there was a fold up chair in the corner of the room.

“Well looks like we’re just gonna have to share a bed tonight.” Sal says matter of factly, not at all bothered by the predicament. Q, on the other hand, felt his heart race at the thought but it evolved from excitement to panic fairly quick.

“I can sleep on the floor Sal it’s fine.” Q panics trying to find any alternative way out of the situation.

“Q that is going to seriously mess up your back. We need you in one functioning piece this tour. Also, germs, Q. The floor is so filthy. It’s cleaner than the last place, but still not clean.” Sal sets his suitcase off to the side and heads into the bathroom to scope out the joint. Q places his things away and just accepts his fate for the night mentally.

“I’m gonna get ready to head out for dinner then.” Q says then goes to freshen himself up a bit, splash some water on his face and change out to better looking clothes. He wants to focus on dinner but his mind can’t seem to wrap around the fact that all he ever wanted was coming true in the worst way possible. Sal cleans himself up too following a similar ritual as Q.

They both leave the room and meet up with Joe and Murr to go and find something to eat. Collectively they all decide on Denny’s as the safest place to eat around the area being that it was the most familiar, affordable, and also the closest since they didn’t want to stray to far from the place they were staying. They sat in a round booth, Q being squeezed between Joe and Sal with Murr sitting on the other side of Joe. As their meal progressed, Q couldn’t help but take occasional sneaking glances at Sal as he got lost in the conversation during their meal. He couldn’t help but also notice Sal doing the same, or he thought that’s what he saw. Maybe his mind could just be playing tricks on him to give him some sense of false hope.

Once the meal was over they all had grown tired and decided to call it a night and walk back to the motel and get some much needed rest to fuel up for the long day they had coming tomorrow. They said their “good nights” and that left Sal and Q to trail off to their room to wind down for the night. Q throws himself onto the bed and Sal groans.

“Q, off the bed, you haven’t even showered yet. I don’t want your grease in the bed i’m also sleeping in.” Q sits back up on the bed so he doesn’t have to hear Sal be the hygiene commander anymore. He plops himself on the shitty fold up chair in the corner of the room that creaks as he put his weight on it. When he looks up he sees Sal remove his shirt and disappear into the bathroom where the door shut and locked. Q felt heat rise in his cheeks and his heart race, it was only a split moment but it was enough to burn an image into his memory. His hands grip at the sides of the chair seat as though he was bracing himself for something.

“Stop it Quinn, you shouldn’t be thinking about your best friend like that.” He quietly curses to himself. He rubs his face and anytime his eyes shut all he can see is Sal. Everything has been driving him crazy but today just seems to be the icing on the cake. He just sat there and stewed in his whirlwind of emotions.

The bathroom door quickly opened back up and a wall of steam falls into the room. Sal emerges from the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist and now Q felt like his head exploded.

“Bathroom’s all yours.” Sal casually strolls over to his suitcase to grab what he needed without batting an eye. Q quickly hides in the bathroom and closes the door behind him. He stands there for a moment frozen. Why is the universe testing him today?

“This tour is going to be the death of me.” He says to himself as he strips all his articles of clothing away and steps into the shower. As he stood under the hot running water and cleaned off his body, his mind began to play scenarios in his head. Sal walking towards him with nothing but a towel on, hazel eyes filled with a seductive energy, his hands all over Q’s body, lips connected, the towel falling. “Fuck.” Q quietly murmurs as his hand slides down and wraps around his now hard cock.

More filthy ideas play in Q’s head, his eyes closed fully envisioning all he’s ever lustfully desired. Their bodies intertwined, hot breath on his skin, love bites littered all over their bodies, the aching relief of climax. He pumps harder and faster as he leaned against the shower wall biting down on his knuckle so hard it nearly breaks the skin to prevent any sinful noises from slipping out and echoing past the paper thin walls. the harmony of their bodies moving rhythmically together, Q hovering over a needy whining Sal, thin layer of glistening sweat that made him glow underneath him, mouth agape with dirty obscenities falling out.

It all had become enough for Q to unravel and accidentally allow a loud and low groan of his crush’s name to escape that he couldn’t quite catch before it was released. He came down from his high and covered his mouth realizing how loud it actually was and what exactly he let slip, he stood silent for a moment to see if the man on the other side of the wall would react at all. The running water was the only sound that was consistent, pure silence besides that. Q sighed in hopes that he had gotten away with it, but worry and nerves still settled in the lower parts of his stomach because maybe Sal knew but didn’t say anything.

He finished bathing and decided to shake the feeling away and try to convince himself that everything was fine. He steps out of the shower and sees the room is dark, he goes to his suitcase and peeks over at Sal. There he was in bed curled up quietly in peaceful rest. This calmed Q now knowing now that Sal probably hadn’t heard his slip up. He dressed himself in his pajamas and climbed into the sheets on the empty side of the mattress.

As he sat there with heavy eyes, he couldn’t help but stare for a little bit at the man that snoozed away next to him. He looked so calm for once rather than being on edge. Finally the weight of his eyes got to him and he fell fast asleep.

In the middle of the night, however, he felt his sleepy state grow lighter until he was half awake but refused to open his eyes. He felt a warmth pressed up against his side and it felt as though it was moving. He finally managed to pry open his eyes and look to his side where he was met face to face with Sal. It slightly startled him to a more awake state as that wasn’t what he was expecting to wake up to. Sal was still deeply asleep, snoring lightly as he breathed. As he looked down to see what the movement was, he almost had to do a double take.

There was Sal grinding up against Q’s thigh like a dog in heat. Q went very stiff unsure of what to do in a predicament like this.

“Do I move him? Do I move? Do I wake him up? Do I keep this secret? What is going on?” Was playing in his mind along with a thousand other questions. His thoughts were zooming at a million miles a minute trying to process the situation and take proper action. Although he was lost in his head, there was something that quickly brought him back to reality.

“Mmm~” A low hum came from Sal’s vocal chords and Q felt the blood begin to rush to places he didn’t want it to. Things were getting messier and messier by the second and Q still had no clue what to do and felt like a deer in the headlights. “Fuck... Brian...” Words slipped out of Sal and it made Q’s eyes go wide. Now he knew he would not be able to go back to sleep. Was he dreaming about him? Q couldn’t ignore it for much longer and decided it’d be best to wake him up, he couldn’t bare much more of this.

He shook Sal on his shoulder lightly until his snoring and moaning stopped and his eyes fluttered open. Sal didn’t say anything but groaned at the fact that he was awoken in the middle of what obviously appeared to be a pleasurable dream. Sal looked down to see the position he was in and his whole face went pale as he pieced together what was going on.

“I’m so sorry Q.” Sal said sheepishly, he stumbled over his words and was absolutely mortified and wanted to crawl into a cave and never return to civilization. “Did I... say anything?” Q felt his face go red as he recollected all the things Sal moaned out in his heated moment.

“You might have mumbled a few things.” He said trying to hide the fact that he knew Sal was having a wet dream, even worse a wet dream about him. Sal looked up to the older man and smirked.

“So you could take a wild guess as to what I was dreaming about then. I know i’m not the only one that’s been a little needy on this tour.” Sal eyes Q up and down and Q mentally flatlined in that moment. “I heard you in the shower, you’re not as sneaky as you think Quinn. Sneaking glances at me in the restaurant, playing coy with all this flirting, and now jerking off to me in the shower? You play a dirty game.” Sal knew. That son of a bitch knew. But more importantly, he felt the same way and this was Q’s green light to stop fantasizing and start living the reality he always wanted.

“You say I play coy when you’re just as bad. Listening to me in the Shower, Sally boy, that’s pretty dirty if you ask me. And I had to find out that you have the hots for me with you grinding up against my leg like a horny teenager? Who’s the one playing dirty here?” Q gets up and hovers over Sal whose face filled with shock and the realization that he teased Q a little too much and now he’s going to pay the price for it. “Do you want me to continue.” Q feels fired up and watches as Sal swallows hard beneath him. Sal quickly grabs the collar of Q’s shirt and reels him in for their lips to crash together, lips working hard at the other’s with desperation. That was all Q needed as he ground his hips against Sal, feeling his aching hard member through the layers of their pants and boxers.

Q’s lips escape Sal’s and go on to kiss at the sensitive skin of his neck which got a long drawn out moan out of Sal. Sal’s hand reaches down and snakes its way into Q’s pajama pants and grabs hold of his hard on.

“Oh shit.” Q breathes out at the sensation of Sal’s hand and he quickly grows into a groaning mess as Sal begins to pleasure the man on top of him. Q thrusts his hips, physically begging to feel more.

“Someone’s excited.” Sal says as he watches Q fall apart before him, delicious music to his ears. Sal pushes Q off of him and lays him on his back, he sneaks down underneath the covers and devilishly smirks knowing what he’s about to do. Q feels the warm body move under the covers and on top of him, his pants slide down along with his boxers, a hand hold his cock, and then suddenly a wet hot warmth around his it.

The sensation made Q’s toes curl and he desperately gasps for air. He props himself up on his elbows and moves the covers up to reveal Sal taking sucking Q off. Sal notices and smiles a bit while he continues to bob his head, taking the tip of his tongue and swirl it around the head. Q’s head flung back and his hand shot to Sal’s head, grasping at the hair on top of his head feeling as it moved up and down. Nothing comprehensible came out of Q’s mouth, just a strew of noises that only made Sal more excited as he worked his mouth around Q to keep the noises coming. Sal ground his hips against the mattress to get his own sense of pleasure and he hummed at the sensation, the humming sent vibrations through Q which caused his release to creep in faster.

“Fuck, Sal, i’m gonna cum. I’m so close. You’re so good at this, shit.” He whined out. Sal removed himself and looked into Q’s eyes as he pumped his dick hard and fast in his fist.

“Do it, cum for me Brian.” He said in a low seductive tone. Soon enough, hot ropes of cum came shooting out of Q with the same groan of Sal’s name he had released in the shower earlier, only this time he wasn’t afraid to allow all his sinful noises to echo through the room.

Brian huffed, seeing stars as he descended from his high and looked at Sal who was still humping into the mattress. Q smirked and pulled Sal up so his back rested on his chest and kissed along his neck and shoulders. He reached his arm around to grab hold of Sal’s hard on and started giving him the sexual attention he deserved.

“There’s no telling you how long i’ve waited to see you become putty in my hands like this.” Sal’s hands gripped around Q’s forearms as he watched breathlessly as the older joker jerked him off. The sensation of Q’s hot breath on his shoulder, wet kisses along his silhouette, broad hands and thick fingers around his dick, and the pump of Q’s heart against his back sent him over the edge into a pool of pleasure. He quickly met the same fate as Q as his back arched at the sensation.

Q assisted in the clean up, grabbing wet cloths from the bathroom to wipe the two of them down. They clothed themselves again and snuggled up in bed and a wave of exhaustion swallowed them whole as their bodies sunk into the comfort of the thick sheets and soft mattress.

“So when we’re you gonna tell me that you like me like that?” Sal jokes as he curled up against Q’s chest.

“I don’t know, I thought the whole flirting thing was just a long stretched out joke.”

“We both know it wasn’t really a joke anymore.” Q chuckled knowing they both had crossed the barrier between playful and serious and they both were a little too oblivious to realize it.

“You’re right, but here we are. I mean, that is if you wanna be a thing?” Q stops himself from solidifying anything too fast. He looks to Sal and he’s staring back but with a shy smile.

“I would have liked if you took me to dinner first.” He giggles and Q can’t help but smile. “But i’d like if we were a thing in all seriousness.”

“What are we gonna tell the guys?” Q asks genuinely curious now that everything that happened had fully sunk in.

“They can figure it out themselves. Who knows, maybe they’ll just think this is part of the gimmick, it’ll make it even funnier.” The thought of that made Q laugh even harder, the rumble of his chuckle made Sal shake a little. “Okay now enough with the pillow talk, we seriously need sleep and i’m on the verge of passing out.”

“Okay, okay. Goodnight Sal.” Q brings the other in close and gently kisses the top of his head, Sal nuzzles his head into. his chest and takes in the scent of Q’s musk. He felt comfortable and content.

“Goodnight, Bri.” They both closed their eyes and drifted off to sleep knowing now they no longer had to dream of the other or keep their feelings locked away. And it was all thanks to some midnight mischief.

———————————————————

Next door to them, however. Joe and Murr sat there in bed grateful that the moaning and groaning had finally stopped and they could finally get some shut eye.

“Who in the hell has surprise sex at this hour? I swear when I see them i’m going to kill them.” Murr grumbled as he pouted trying to find a new comfortable position to finally go to sleep.

“Or we could get back at them.” Joe jokes over to Murr who clearly was not having it at all and just wanted rest.

“Not a chance Gatto.” Those were his final words before he finally decided he had enough for the night and was determined to go back to sleep. Joe just shrugged his shoulders and curled back up in bed.

“Eh, it was worth a shot.”