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minniewoos · 6 years ago

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Amortentia ➣ Hwang Hyunjin Pt.1

Genre: hogwarts au, slytherin!Hyunjin, fluff, angst, bestfriend!Seungmin

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 12,932

Summary: Hyunjin was conceived under the effects of a love potion, making it impossible for him to experience love. But you try your hardest anyway. And you kinda succeed.

part 1➣part 2 ➣part 3

"And the final curious potion we will be introducing today, last but not least, is Amortentia." Your potions professor announced. Professor Lee always had a bounce in his step and a delighted grin whenever he taught. Anyone who saw him could tell that potions were his passion. And today's lesson was no different; the smile on his pudgy face was more full than usual today. And you weren't sure why. But he continued dutifully with his teachings.

"I'm sure most of you already know what this little concoction is, it's quite famous amongst kids your age." He chipped, but then held his pointer finger up and towards the small group of students in front of him. He warned, "But don't even think about using it. This potion is considered highly dangerous and very powerful. It does not create genuine love, that is impossible to achieve by means of magic. Just an intense obsession. Understand?"

You heard a few peers around you sigh in disappointment. And you weren't very surprised since you always heard gossip through the grapevine. Stories about your classmates and their romantic struggles. And like your professor said, this potion was very popular. Everyone wants easy love, a perfect romance. You even thought about using it once or twice when you were younger; probably in year two or three. You shake your head at yourself, those days of pining after that certain person were behind you. At least, the childish thoughts of using magic to do that.

"Of course, I'm sure most of you are wise enough not to do that. I expect great things from you bunch, this is an advanced potion class. I see greatness in each one of you." Your professor smiled once again as his eyes landed on every one of you and your classmates. It was a mixed class as well; it had some students from each house attending it. Which was a change from the usual one or two houses per class, but you like it, you didn't interact as much with the other houses as you would've liked to.

"Would anyone like to tell me what they know about Amortentia before we begin?" Professor Lee let the question hang in the air, receiving only silence. His smile dropped for a moment, but it was up once more when he spotted somebody raised their hand. He nodded and pointed towards the owner of the raised hand, "Yes, Seungmin, go ahead."

“It’s complicated to brew, and it makes the person it’s used on have an extreme obsession.” Seungmin said, very interested in today’s lesson, “The smells also different for everybody; it smells like the three things people love the most.”

“That is correct! Five points for Ravenclaw.” Your professor chirped happily. “At the end of class, if anyone wishes, they may take a whiff of Amortentia if they’re curious about the smell.”

You smiled as well, and discreetly fist-bumped Seungmin for the extra points for your house. In your mind, he was always a good kid, if not a little odd sometimes. For the rest of the class, your professor spoke animatedly about Amortentia and went over its painful brewing procedure. You listened, well, you tried to. Looking to the brewing procedure is tedious and quite a bore, especially for such a long and precise potion like Amortentia. So, your thoughts wandered a bit, but you got the gist of what you needed to know about Amortentia. And if you had questions, the textbook was there for a reason. Instead, you were curious about what Amortentia smelled like for you; perhaps it would be your favorite coffee or tea, or maybe a particular food. What did Seungmin smell? Or the professor? You scanned the room, curious as to what the others would smell in the Amortentia.

There were pretty rowdy Gryffindors like Han Jisung or Shin Ryujin. But there was a certain Slytherin you were especially curious about. Eyes trained on Hwang Hyunjin, you concentrated as you tried to think. Your eyebrows scrunched together as you thought about what he would even smell, he was unpredictable, really. Nobody was really close to the aloof Slytherin, but he got along really well with everyone. He wasn’t cruel or stuck up despite the Slytherin stereotype, but he wasn’t friendly either. Hyunjin never stuck to people that well, it was as if he wasn't interested enough to care. On the other hand, people stuck to Hyunjin like glue; you weren't exactly sure why. So it confused you, why care so much about a guy who doesn't do the same? Perhaps it was because of his charm, the few times you spoke to him were very pleasant; it helped that he was a solid ten in looks. Nonetheless, there was something off about him that you couldn't figure out. Hyunjin was indeed a mystery.

“Hey, pay attention.” Seungmin jabbed at your side, effectively derailing your train of thought. “If we’re gonna be partners again, it’s not going to be like last time.”

You rolled your eyes, “Come on Minnie, it wasn’t that bad. Okay?”

He frowned, “Says you, the potion didn’t blow up right in your eyes.”

“Sorry?” You shrugged with a shy smile, feeling a little guilty about the potion incident. Seungmin went blind for a whole hour.

“You better be.” Seungmin turned his focus back into taking his notes. How diligent.

You pouted and leaned onto the desk, your chin resting in the palm of your hand. You muttered sourly, “That sounds like a threat.”

“That’s because it is.”

The class period reached its end quickly, and your mood was instantly lifted. While you enjoy the advanced potions class, it has a knack for putting you to sleep. You were a pretty lazy Ravenclaw.

“Remember class, I will offer you extra credit for this lesson! If you’re interested just sign this parchment before you leave the room, this is your last day to do this before I begin planning the extra credit.” Your professor reminded everyone one last time before dismissing the class.

The small class began to file out of the room, most of them gathering around the table with the vials of potions lined upon them. All the potions the professor went over today were interesting and very advanced. It was predictable which one people flocked towards first. Amortentia.

Chatter filled the air as you heard excited quips of what they smelled; others who were less interested simply left the room.

Seungmin was one of those people about to leave the room, completely ignoring the potions. But you clutched his arm and yanked him towards the table. He yelped in surprise before giving you an ugly look.

"Don't act like you aren’t curious about what you smell." You crossed your arms, standing in front of the table. The small crowd already began dispersing.

"I will act like it because I don’t." Seungmin sighed, then began to leave the room once more. "I'll meet you outside after you're finished."

Lips pursed in a frown, what a downer. You weren't sure what his problem was today, his mood seemed to drop mid-lesson. But ignoring Seungmin’s attitude, you faced the little vial of Amortentia. Little spiraling wisps rose from the vial, dissipating by the time it reached the height of your eyes. Already a little excited, you leaned down and took a whiff.

You smelled everything right away, each scent from the potion was strong and distinct. The corners of your lips tipped up.

Old books, and you knew exactly why. The Ravenclaw common room was absolutely filled with ancient books from top to bottom, and it showed. Bookcases were full of leather-bound books and rolled-up scrolls. The scent was faint but immediately noticeable, old and musty, but endearing to you. Ravenclaw pride bubbled up in your chest.

Then there was a sort of citrusy smell, it was oranges. Other than the fact that they smell good, they were always in season for you. Ever since the first day you sat down at the Ravenclaw table and the feast appeared in front of you, you adored Hogwarts’ oranges. It was the first thing you tried out of the feast, and the taste stuck with you. You’ll eat one whenever you have the chance.

Jasmine. The last scent was jasmine, and while you vividly recognize the smell, you were confused as to why you smelled it. There were no prominent memories associated with jasmine other than it just smelling very good. And despite your confusion around it, it was easily the most potent smell among the three. You stared intensely at the vial, trying to focus on the jasmine scent; it was possible a memory or feeling would come to you. But alas, you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Deciding to give up, you took a step away and just admired the potion for a moment. It was lovely, a light blue color with a sleek sheen to it and spiraling steam. No one would be able to tell what powerful properties it would have. You sigh before you noticed most others have left the class already to carry on their schedule. All except for one.

You were surprised to see Hyunjin standing in front of you on the opposite side of the table. He was glaring down at the potion, a confused and annoyed expression creased his face. Frowning, you wondered what he smelled to possibly cause such an irate reaction from the boy. Unsure of whether it was appropriate to ask, you just stared at Hyunjin’s concentrated expression. But as usual, curiosity got the better of you and decided you wanted to know why he seemed so annoyed. Hesitantly, you got his attention and waved a hand.

“Hey Hyunjin, what do you smell?” You leaned over to match his line of sight, with an awkward little smile to seem friendly. You gulped nervously after Hyunjin’s irritated gaze flicked to look you directly in your eyes.

“What do you smell?” He responded to your question with a question. You frowned but figured you would answer anyway.

“Hm...it was old books, oranges, and jasmine. Pretty pleasant if you ask me.” Shifting your weight, you tilted your head before questioning him again. “So, how about you?”

“Nothing.” His lips pursed with his eyebrows were scrunched, “I don’t smell anything.”

The first thought that came to you was simply that that wasn’t possible. But you couldn’t question him or dwell on the idea any longer. Hyunjin ended the small talk when he sharply snatched his textbook off the desk and left the room, leaving you to feel bad you even asked.

Feeling down since you’ve somehow insulted two people within the span of five minutes, you figure it’s your time to go. A heavy sigh and a moment later you headed towards the exit.

“Miss y/n, please don’t feel bad about that. It’s good to be curious. Some people just have a complicated relationship with this kind of stuff.” Professor Lee consoled you, he was packing his notes and materials up from his desk. His smile was sympathetic.

You smiled and shrugged, “I just don’t think he’s a very open person, sir.”

“Well, Miss y/n, that just makes their journey all the more satisfying.”

“The journey?”

“Getting to know somebody is an adventure all on its own. I’m sure you’ll discover this.” Professor Lee began walking out from behind his desk, parchment in hand. “Somebody like him specifically, Hyunjin, would be a tough but fascinating journey.”

“You’re talking about people like they’re stories, sir.”

“Well, everyone has their own story, for some people, it just takes some digging. I know you’re an inquisitive person, you have a thirst for knowledge."

"Thank you, your enthusiasm when you teach really does help." You smile gratefully, then paused as something came to mind. "Actually, where’s that parchment for the extra credit? I'd like to do it; the lessons have been getting a little hard to understand."

"Oh, of course! It's right here." He held out the parchment in his hand and gave you a quill. "Go right ahead dear, you'll be given a partner to complete this outside of class."

"Okay, thanks sir, I'll see you later." You sign and gather your things, leaving the classroom in a better mood than you would have otherwise. You nearly forget Seungmin was outside waiting for you, so you sent him an apologetic look.

"Took you long enough, I was about to go in and check if you died," Seungmin commented, propped on the ledge jutting out from the sculptured stone walls. He looked uncomfortable.

"Wow, you really did wait for me, I'm flattered." You smiled, pleasantly surprised despite the frown set on Seungmin.

"Yeah, I did, now hurry up before we're late for charms class." He began to walk ahead of you while you trailed behind him, a couple steps quicker to try to catch up. "What did you smell anyway?"

"Hmm, old books, citrus, and jasmine. All quite nice if you ask me."

Seungmin hummed in response, slowing his pace for you; he seemed content. The smug little smirk on your face showed your sense of satisfaction. Seungmin could never stay mean to you, it didn’t matter what; you two have been best friends since the first year. He got grumpy sometimes, but it never lasted long when it came to you. You nudged him with your elbow, catching him on the side; then, you looked up at him to show off your smug little grin. In return, he rolled his eyes and nudged you back, but you peaked at the little smile he attempted to hold back.

The next morning was breakfast time, and the only way to describe your journey to the Great Hall was a hobble. Or maybe a shuffle or stagger. And it was a long ways away from the Ravenclaw tower down to the Great Hall. As a result, you were really struggling to move your tired limbs. Perhaps you'll take a quick nap during breakfast, or sleep during Ms. Hong's charm class. Either way, you were not awake, and it showed. Badly.

Unfortunately, you’ve developed an awful habit of not sleeping when you’re supposed to, and it’s resulted in your morning zombie-ness. And general crankiness if you were going to be honest. All that nagging Seungmin threw at you didn’t help either, he always nagged at you to sleep early or to eat right. It was easy for him to say though, he was one of the early birds in this school.

And as soon as you took your seat at the Ravenclaw table, you knew the look Seungmin was putting your way. He really just reminded you of your mother sometimes. So, before he could nag you, you nagged yourself. You hitch your voice into a slightly nasally tone and scrunch your nose mockingly. “Y/n you need to sleep earlier, study before 10pm, don’t rely on caffeine, stop procrastinating you lazy ass.”

“I don’t sound like that!"

“Shhh, yea, you do, don’t pretend you don’t know. Don’t be so loud in the mornings, please.” You grumble and lay your head on the table after placing a muffin on your plate. After closing your eyes, you sigh heavily and ultimately regret your life choices that lead to your headache and tired eyes.

Seungmin shook his head, “I wasn't even going to say anything. You’re a brat in the mornings, you know that right?”

“Mmmhm, watcha gonna do about it?” You mumble, head still lying on the table and eyes shut comfortably. After a few seconds, you got no response, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Meanwhile, Seungmin wasn’t buying into your childish attitude right now. Simply resting his cheek to the palm of his hand, eyelids lowering in boredom, and with a weary sigh said, “Your robes are on inside out.”

"No, it's not you're just messing with me." You didn't even bother to check.

Seungmin stopped bothering you in favor of chatting with Jeongin. Another Ravenclaw just a year below you; he also had a knack for annoying you. You weren't surprised that he and Seungmin got along so well. Eventually, maybe a few minutes passed before your thoughts shut down, and you were snoozing away. A soothing smell drifted in the air around you, slightly mixed in with the fresh oranges and ripening bananas. It smelled very familiar, but you were too drowsy to remember the name, and it served to make you fall deeper into your morning nap.

"How does she fall asleep so quickly…" Jeongin stared at you in engrossed bafflement and proceeded to wave a hand in front of your face. He was another early bird who enjoyed teasing you about your poor life choices.

“Because she refuses to go to bed at a reasonable time,” Seungmin said, bored as if he’s been through this situation many times before. Which to his credit, he has. "She’ll start snoring soon, just wait.”

And you did, the snores were quiet at first, more like loud breathing. Jeongin raised his eyebrows, “You were right.”

Seungmin smiled a smug smile, and tapped his temple. “I know her well, later she’ll complain about how tired she still is but can’t sleep. Then the cycle will repeat.”

Seungmin then pulled out a quill, a devilish smile on hand. “I have an idea.”

Jeongin mirrored his mischievous grin, immediately recognizing the type of quill he took out. Without hesitation, Seungmin, on your exposed cheek, began to write gently. While nothing showed up at first, the quill contained disappearing ink; and that means that in about an hour the ink will become visible. Just about the time you'd be getting sleepy again, in potions class where he had to deal with your lazy ass.

Seungmin felt satisfied with his work. His little art piece wasn’t visible at the moment. But the little mustache and monocle he drew would give him a good laugh later in class. He even wrote ‘I told you so’ on your forehead, just to take a jab at you.

Eventually, you were forced to wake up. The students around you filing out of the Great Hall and through the large entrance doors, the chatter filling the castle. You lifted your head. It felt heavy as you stretched your arms out to yawn. Drowsy and your vision still blurry, you picked up your muffin and quickly began to eat. You sat there for a moment, letting your sleepiness slowly fade away. Only then did you freeze Seungmin and jeongin left you there, you pursed your lips and puffed your cheeks out. But you should've expected it, it always annoyed Seungmin when your lousy sleeping habits caught up to you, and you knew it.

You shook it off though as Seungmin just being Seungmin and stared dully at the seat he sat in across from you. He had a half-filled plate of breakfast food leftover, and you really just thought of why he would grab so much if he didn't even eat it. But one thing caught your attention, making you do a double-take. A funny feeling began to settle in the pit of your stomach. Your eyes stuck on the teacup across from you as the gears in your head work hard. The silence as the room emptied out only amplified the thoughts in your mind.

Seungmin's tea was jasmine, he always drank a cup in the morning and before bed. Although Seungmin drinks a lot of tea throughout the day, jasmine is his favorite. It was usually routine for him to start and end the day with it. And well, you always liked the smell of it; since you associated it with good memories and Seungmin. You recognized it as the smell that so easily put you to sleep this morning. And you also recognized it as the last thing you smelled in Amortentia.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together, but it was a jarring revelation. Did you love Seungmin? Of course, you would say yes, but to think of him romantically gave you a funny feeling in your chest. You blinked at the teacup in front of you, trying to decipher what this meant for you. If somebody asked how you felt, you wouldn't be able to answer clearly. It was as if that warm, fuzzy feeling right now was also constricting. Your breathing was heightened, and there was a pressure in your abdomen. The most honest answer you could say was that your feelings were mixed.

"Miss," there was a tap on your shoulder, breaking you from your thoughts. You blink wildly as if torn from a daze and stare at the professor in front of you, slightly baffled. She looks at you softly, "it's time to go to class hun."

"Oh," you reply dumbly. But hearing the awkward sound quickly brought you back to your senses. "Oh, yes of course. I'm sorry professor, I guess I'm still waking up. It's not an easy morning I suppose."

"We all have those days, now hurry along and get to class before you're late."

"Of course, thank you" you gather your stuff and rush out of the now empty Great Hall.

You speed walked to your next class in a daze, took notes in a daze, and left the class in a daze. Seungmin. Seungmin? Maybe...but, it was Seungmin. Your best friend, Seungmin.

Which you had your next class with, and you absolutely wouldn't be able to concentrate. It was potions, which you suppose was a good thing. You were good at potions, and Professor Lee was giving out the assignments for the extra credit today. You found yourself standing in front of the potions room door, staring at the floor and thinking to yourself. You shake your head and huff, you just decide to focus on the studies for now. Worrying can wait.

You walk into potions class and take your usual seat next to Seungmin, and everything was as usual. Professor Lee began his lecture, and you and Seungmin made little comments to each other, sometimes snide and sometimes witty. He scribbled notes in his little parchment paper, bound into a notebook. You lean over towards Seungmin, boredom already creeping up on you, and start doodling on his parchment. He doesn’t even bat an eye, he’s too used to your strange doodles. At first, he always complained about the “weird muggle drawing” on his study notes. But he eventually grew to know who Spongebob was, initially asking why there was a “block of cheese with a face on it” on his paper. Being a young first year, you were horrified that he didn’t know who Spongebob was. And proceeded to explain to him what Spongebob and cartoons were. Little pureblood Seungmin was weirded out, but since you kept on drawing on his notes, he figured it was useless to keep complaining. Now he actually likes seeing your doodles on his notes, even if they weren’t that good. It was always a different person or character, and whenever a new one popped up, he would ask about it. Currently, you were doodling a bad rendition of the gang from Monsters Inc.

Seungmin glances over at you, smirks, then looks back down to continue note taking. This action makes you pause for a moment. You stare at him, waiting for him to explain to you why he looks so smug and satisfied. You can already tell this isn’t a good sign for you, to mentally prepare yourself for the worst.

“Seungmin.” You nudge him gently, “What did you do this time?”

He looks at you, eyes you a bit before looking at his paper again, a smile on his lips. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Liar.” You narrow your eyes, trying to think of the previous pranks he pulled on you. It only took a moment before the lightbulb lit above your head, your expression was one of annoyance. “You drew something on my face, didn’t you.”

“Of course not, why would I do that?” He pretends to be offended, but you knew he was satisfied on the inside. His response only confirmed your suspicions.

You grumble to yourself before trying to wipe the ink off your face, but you were sure you were just smudging it. Also hoping nobody else noticed whatever it was Seungmin decided to draw. And you could only wish it was nothing obscene. After a few minutes of trying to wipe the ink off your face, Seungmin finally took pity and began wiping it off for you. He chuckled silently to himself while doing it, though. What a little fucker.

Soon enough the professor got everyone's attention after his lecture of the day. You tuned in after a whole class period of barely listening, and it’s a good thing you did. He just started talking about the extra credit project. And so, you decide that you need to pay attention to this. Putting your thoughts away, you turned your focus towards professor Lee.

"Now, I must say I am slightly disappointed. Out of the 17 of you in this class, only 4 signed up for extra credit." Professor Lee huffed indignantly. But continued anyway. "But those who have, I’m proud to say, are quite brilliant students.”

You leaned into Seungmin and asked him in a low tone, “Did you sign up?”

He shook his head and shrugged, you pouted, a little disappointed.

“First pair, Na Jaemin and Kwon Eunbin. You two will be brewing the potion Felix Felicus. The next, and last, pair will be Hwang Hyunjin and y/f/n. And the two of you will be brewing Amortentia. Those are both complicated potions you know, and it must be done outside of class. We are much too busy in class here to work on this project. I suggest the four of you see me after class to discuss this more if you have any questions.”

Your curiosity was peaked, you twisted around in your chair to spot Hyunjin a few seats behind you. The odd boy was going to be your partner. He didn’t seem too interested, but his eyes flicked to meet yours when he sensed your gaze on him. You smiled and waved, trying to look friendly enough after what happened yesterday; maybe you came off as insensitive? Hyunjin nodded to you politely, the ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. After a moment, his attention turned back to the professor. But your gaze lingered for another second, you twisted back around after.

Seungmin nudged you, “Got a little crush, huh?”

Your jaw dropped and you smacked his arm in offense, “No, of course not. I just think he’s a little strange…”

“Strange?”

“Yea, isn’t there something off about him? He’s not mean or anything, but it’s like...like an act.”

Seungmin shook his head in denial, “I don’t see anything wrong, maybe that's just how he is.”

You thought about it for a moment, but it still bothered you. Nonetheless, the topic was dropped, and your mind clung onto another question. Was Seungmin aware of the Amortentia thing? He knew what you smelled in the potion, and Seungmin isn’t a dumb boy. Unquestionably he connected the dots and knew you smelled his jasmine tea, but for some reason just held off telling you. Or maybe he didn’t want to cause any awkward feelings because he didn’t reciprocate those feelings…

The thought of that put you down though, like your heart felt heavy just thinking of that possibility. You frowned, you were positive Seungmin knew, because you knew him well enough. He’s a smart boy. You rested your chin on your hand and tilted your head to eye Seungmin, squinting your eyes skeptically.

Of course, he noticed, not like you were hiding it anyway. He only looked at you weirdly and scoffed, amused. “What’s with the stink eye?”

“Not a stink eye, just thinking.” Your response was curt.

He pinched your nose affectionately while you swatted his hand away, “You overthink.”

“What a hypocrite, you’re a thinker too.”

“Yea, but at least I’m still grounded in reality. When you think, your heads way up there.” Seungmin looks up and points towards the sky. You purse your lips, unable to retort. And soon after, class was finishing up.

You stood from your seat, grabbed your textbooks, and waited as you leaned on the table. Eyes closed, you sigh breathily and wait for further instructions. When you open your eyes, Hyunjin was waiting as well with the same bored expression as you. The other two classmates were standing around too, it seems like none of you were particularly happy about this extra credit project. You couldn’t dwell on the thought much longer, though, because your professor stood in front of you all now, a huge gummy smile on his face. You sneak a glance at Hyunjin only to see a prominent frown on his usually indifferent face, your head tilts in curiosity.

“Hm…”

∎∎∎

Two days later and you sat in the library, not exactly enthused about Hyunjin’s tardiness. When Professor Lee explained the criteria for the extra credit a couple days ago, you and Hyunjin decided on when your first meet-up would be. And it was agreed that 6pm in the library would work. You were chewing on some oranges, a pile of the rines sitting on the table, the citrus-y scent wavering around you.

Apparently, it didn’t, because Hyunjin was thirty minutes late and your temper was increasing by the minute. You were muttering to yourself, “This boy, geez, what’s his deal. He better have a mighty good excuse for this…”

Pulling out a potions textbook, you just decide to start on your own. Doing nothing won’t get you anywhere. You probably sat there for another fifteen minutes or so before a couple chairs were pulled out and sat in. Looking up, you expected to see Hyunjin, but instead you were greeted by Jaemin and Renjun, you furrowed your eyebrows. You were friends with the two boys, Renjun was in Ravenclaw with you so it was a natural friendship. And you knew the Slytherin Jaemin through Renjun, all in the same year as you. You tilted your head and rested an arm on your textbook.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked, a bored look in your eyes.

Jaemin whistled, pretending to be offended, “What? No ‘Hi Jaemin! Hello Renjun! It’s so nice to see you guys.’”

You rolled your eyes at him, Jaemin even fluttered his eyelashes for the extra flair. “No, since when have I ever greeted you guys like that. And you didn’t answer my question, why are you here?”

“Ah, you’re so cold to us.” Renjun chuckled, but smiled nonetheless, knowing you were just being comfortable with them. “We just needed to check up on some things. But we saw you and wanted to say hi. The real question is, why are you here and why do you look so pissy?”

“I’m doing extra credit work for potions, but, Hyunjin is supposed to do it with me and I haven’t heard from him.” You frowned, bookmarking your page and closing your textbook.

“What, really?” Jaemin looked confused, “Hyunjin was sleeping last I saw him.”

“He...was sleeping.” You repeated, irritated and about to drag him to the library by his ear if need be.

Jaemin nodded and stood up, “He’s one of my roommates. Never mentioned extra credit or anything.”

Renjun stood up with him and shrugged, “Maybe you guys will have to reschedule your study date. Wish you luck, we’ll be going now.”

“Study date?? Renjun no, no, that's not-” You tried to explain, but they walked away before you even finished your sentence. They even stole a couple of your oranges before they left. You sighed, exasperated and tired, they always teased you; they even had the nerve to steal your oranges! But your irritation caught up to you again as your head dropped and thumped onto the table. You sighed heavily as you just laid there, you figured it’s about time you pack things up. You can’t get too far without Hyunjin, and you weren’t about to do all the work and let Hyunjin slack off. This was a group project!

Just as you stood up and began packing your things away, a familiar figure rushed into the library, making a ruckus and disturbing the calm atmosphere. It was Hyunjin.

The boy basically stumbled through the door and slammed his hands against the wall to keep himself from entirely faceplanting. Somehow while still tripping over his own two feet. All of which caused a loud thud sound and all eyes on him; this provoked a violent and angry “Shhh!” from the librarian. He stood up straight and apologized, seemingly bewildered at how extra his entrance was. Then as he lifted his head up, he was able to see that most eyes were on him. Pink crept up his neck, and his usual calm demeanor was broken as he scratched the back of his neck. He quickly walked away from the entrance, trying to shake off all the eyes on him. It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to spot you and he made his way over, he let out a long, drawn out sigh. He shook his head, eyes squeezed shut for a moment as if he was trying to erase that moment from his memory.

You stood there, arms crossed and a prominent frown gracing your features. About a million questions were buzzing through your head, but first one you chose to scold him. “Why are you so late?? I was sitting here for like 45 whole minutes Hyunjin, and Jaemin comes by and tells me you were sleeping?? Really? Honestly, you better have a damn good excuse for this, this project isn’t easy, and we gotta pick it up if we want to do good on it.”

Hyunjin just stood there, mouth slightly ajar and eyes staring intently. He then stammered, “R-right sorry, I had quidditch practice before this and I got back to the dorm and just crashed… I woke up and ran here...um...”

He didn’t know what else to say. He was...flustered? Your eyebrows furrowed and your anger subsided in favor of curiosity. You’ve never seen this boy flustered before. Hyunjin always seemed level-headed and sharp, but with the way he was acting now, it was a strange new side of him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hyunjin questioned, kind of worried about what you would say next. “Are you about to scold me more or…”

You looked up at him and shrugged, a glint of teasing in your eyes, “I just think you’re strange. Now let’s get started on this project, chop chop.”

Your response clearly caught him off guard. “Wh-what, wait, strange? You can’t just change the subject like that, why? Hey, don’t ignore me.”

“Come on, I already started the research for this, you gotta catch up.”

“I-what?? You started without me?”

“Um, yea, you were late so I’m not the one at fault here. Now come onnn, I wanna get started.”

“Ah...okay okay.” Hyunjin was still a little flustered and confused, but he sat down beside you anyway and looked at the textbook. It seemed like he was in deep thought, just staring dumbly at the textbooks cover. He was still processing the embarrassing moment that just took place.

You had to flip the book open to the right page, and Hyunjin’s lips formed an ‘o’. You chuckled to yourself, figuring this was going to be a bit more fun than you initially expected. Picking up an orange, you began to peel it and handed Hyunjin a piece. He took it gratefully and you plopped a bit into your mouth, savoring the flavor as you started reading the textbook with Hyunjin.

And studying with Hyunjin was...surprisingly easy. He was cooperative, and if he had any questions, he didn’t hesitate to ask. While he very swiftly regained his usual calm demeanor, it wasn’t a stubborn or cold one as you had originally thought. He was just quite a bit more aloof and quiet, not like that’s an awful thing; although, it was as though he attempted to regain his composure. Despite that, you discovered that the two of you actually got along quite well. You were actually making good progress on the research portion of this project. Note-taking and finding the right sources were a breeze, which usually weren’t in your past experiences. It was a miracle in a sense, Hyunjin was able to make good progress, even with your lazy ass occasionally getting distracted. Which he quickly turned your attention back to the problem at hand. The only thing that bothered you, sometimes Hyunjin would get a blank look on his face. It would be in between the little intervals of conversation, and he would just go blank. No facial expression but he was clearly thinking, his mind was running, but nothing was there. It normally wouldn’t bother you, it was just how he felt, right? It was just the vacant look his eyes took on, they were cold and distant. Something about it made you uncomfortable. Those moments were rare, though, and so you just carried on.

Nearly an hour later, you stretched your arms in the air, flexing your fingers out. A yawn escaped your lips as you rubbed your dreary eyes, laying your head on the table between your crossed arms. Hyunjin's condition was no different. He was leaning back in his chair, slouched and his head drooping. His hair fell over his half-lidded eyes while his arms were crossed comfortably. Sleep for these two drowsy sorcerers was imminent. The efforts of your work were splayed out across the table, messy hand-writing and orange rinds and all. Several open textbooks were stacked upon each other, the musty library smell and peaceful silence lulled you two to sleep.

The sun was beginning to set as an illustrious golden glow shown through the library windows. Rays of the intense orange glow shining spotlights upon the few library occupants remaining. As the sun sunk over the horizon, a particularly strong orange ray slowly crept its way right into Hyunjin’s face. He sneered at the disturbance of his sleep, squeezing his eyes before fluttering them open. His hand went to shield his eyes from the annoying light.

Hyunjin had to blink a couple more times to get a hold of his surroundings, temporarily forgetting where he was. But he quickly remembered whenever he was you snoozing away next to him. Your head on the table, using a textbook as a cushion. Your hair fell over your face, a strand getting caught between your lips as you snored softly. Hyunjin’s eyebrows raised curiously as he watched your lips move intermittently, you were mumbling under your breath. Sleep talking.

Hyunjin frowned. What time is it? He looked around the library, and there were simply a few students left, the sun was setting, and even the librarian was giving him a nasty side-eye. He cringed, remembering his entrance from earlier and figured it was time to go. His attention was turned back to you, he reached out and brushed the hair out of your face. Trying not to startle you, he placed his hand on your shoulder and shook gently.

"Y/n…" he prodded, but you were as still as a log, your cheek squished up against the textbook. Hyunjin prodded once more, shaking you a bit harder this time and still no response except a vague mumble of word salad from you.

"Tch, what a hypocrite," he scoffed, but there was no ill intent behind the action. He raised an eyebrow, and his lips raised as well in a smirk. Hyunjin was plotting against you. He sat up and leaned in close to you with his elbows situated on his knees.

"Hey...y/n…” Hyunjin cooed gently beside you, “Honey, I love you.”

You smiled faintly, still snoozing, but you responded nonetheless. "I love you too, Minnie…"

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, continuing deviously, "When’s our date?"

Your eyebrows scrunched and you mumbled something incoherently. "Bu..en..mmm… you asked me out?

"Yea, to Hogsmeade, remember silly."

"Hmmm, I dunno." you trailed off, a soft snore interrupted your thoughts. "Is about time though…"

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed and a smug smirk gracing his features. He was satisfied, and what he suspected was true. Amused and planning on teasing you later, Hyunjin finally woke you up for real.

You lifted your head up and yawned as you stretched your legs, "What's the time…?"

Hyunjin shrugged, looking forward he couldn't help but smile.

"What's that look for?" You sat up and turned toward him, seeing the weird smile he put on.

"Oh nothing," he shrugged, then turned his head over his shoulder, the shit eating grin wider now. "I just discovered you talk in your sleep."

A grain of dread settled into your stomach, small yet very obviously there. The unattractive feeling must've shown on your face since Hyunjin looked very amused. You gulped, a knot began to form in your throat as you muttered, embarrassed. "What did I say?"

You've often been told you slept talk. But it was mostly around your roommates in the late hours of the night, you never talked in your sleep in the day. If you did, Seungmin would've commented on it more. You were sure of that. You stared at Hyunjin expectantly, waiting for him to answer. But he only rested his elbow on the back of the uncomfortable wooden chairs and twisted his back, stretching it out.

"Ahh, that's a conversation for another day. I'm tired and my backs killing me." He whined as he stretched his back. Then rubbed his neck with a soft smile, "The library isn't very comfortable."

There was a hint of teasing in that grin. You narrowed your eyes. "Hwang Hyunjin, whatever I said stays between us, got it?"

In response, he winked and put a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. You narrowed your eyes playfully and smiled. Hyunjin stood up, the wooden chair squeaking against the floorboards, and gathered the leather-bound textbooks. Just as he turned his back toward you, he lowered his head to check the books in his arms and spoke. You noticed his hair brushed over his eyes.

“Have a good night, y/n.”

“You too.”

And so, not too long after you were sitting in the Ravenclaw common room. The tall walls lined with books from all over, old and new. Blue and bronze decorated the entire space, and the white walls stood elegantly. Exhausted and weary, but not tired enough to sleep so you just hung yourself on an armchair as Seungmin read on the floor beside you. You groaned as your head rested on the arm of the chair. Your leg draped over the opposite arm. You squeezed your eyes shut and sighed.

“Was working with him that bad?” Seungmin pulled his brows together, setting his book down and twisting around to look at you. You looked down at him, cross-legged on the floor and staring up at you. Shaking your head, you sighed again and just laid there for a moment.

“No, it wasn’t. But well, I don’t know. He’s odd.” You tried to explain, but the weariness throughout your body was impeding on your ability to think properly.

“Real descriptive.” He smiled and leaned his back against the foot of the armchair. “So, then he’s weird?”

“Well, no, but he’s not...normal? Not like it’s a bad thing, but it’s just, like he’s hiding something? I don’t know, Seungmin, like sometimes I see him and he looks so cold. And sometimes he’s so charismatic, you know?” You exasperatedly waved your hands to try to explain better, but Seungmin wasn’t even looking. He was listening, though, since he hummed thoughtfully. You continued, “I don’t know how to put it, but I can just sense something off about him. The more I think about it, the more he confuses me. You just can’t tell right away.”

Seungmin leans his head again the chair, “You’re thinking about him an awful lot.”

“Because he’s confusing.” You whined. “And now I gotta work with him for the next...oh I don’t know, a month? And it’s just going to confuse me more, it’s intellectual torture, Seungmin.”

“Oh, poor you.” Seungmin faux pouted, then let out a little laugh, “Are you sure you aren’t just, curious about him? Maybe he’s only confusing to you because you want to get to know him better. Mysteries always intrigued you.”

You pondered his words for a while, a frown settling onto your face. The sun had finally set and the only light in the common room was from the little lanterns spread about, gifting the refined room with warm orange light. Maybe Seungmin was right? But that couldn’t be the only reason to be so confused about Hyunjin. You were a naturally curious person, always have been, so it’s not impossible. In the end, you decided to drop the topic and try to go to sleep.

“Well, whatever.” You sat up and ruffled Seungmin’s hair up, “I’ll be going to bed now.”

Seungmin swatted your hand away and attempted to smooth his hair down, but it was too late. You snicker at him and stand up, making your way across the common room towards the girls' dorms. You called out, tiredly leaning onto the cold, stone walls “Goodnight, Minnie.”

“Yea, see ya.” Seungmin yawned and lifted a hand.

∎∎∎

A whole week after beginning the project, and you and Hyunjin were well on the way to making the potion. It was going very well, and in your opinion, you were beginning to befriend Hyunjin. Despite his eccentricities, he was charming to be around. It didn’t surprise you that he tended to get along with most people. While he had his moments, be it a bad mood or whatever, you tried not to dwell on it too much.

Especially since the Amortentia was looking fantastic. The potion research paper and data were all gathered and written down. All that was left was the actual brewing and then the after paper. Fun.

So, after school for four days a week, you and Hyunjin brew the Amortentia in the potions room. Which was where you were heading to, the tapping of your footsteps echoing in the spacious stone halls. The chittering of a few students accompanied the background noise. Still, you figured most students were enjoying their free, after-school leisure time and weren’t trying to wander the halls. Unlike you. Not like you minded much. You’d actually be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to this time spent with Hyunjin, the two of you actually got along quite well.

When you arrived to the potions room, you pushed the heavy wood door open with one hand while your other carried the supplies. When your eyes shifted up, the simple yet comical sight made you bark out a laugh. You experienced a short bout of Deja Vu. Because what you found was Hyunjin standing plainly in front of the cauldron, just looking down into it. He wasn’t in any sort of natural pose, nor was he leaning his weight anywhere. Hyunjin was just standing there, arms at his sides, and looking down at the caldron as if he didn’t know what to do.

He reminded you of a sim. Like from the muggle computer games.

And it amused you very very much.

“You look like a sim!” You laughed delightfully, closing the door behind you.

Hyunjin looked at you, brows pulled together in obvious confusion. He still stood in the default sim pose. “A what?”

“A sim!” You snickered, “Like when they don’t have any instructions.”

And Hyunjin just stared at you as if you were mad. He shifted his weight onto one foot and crossed his arms, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You shot him a sympathetic smile and wiped a fake tear from your eye, really playing up the dramatic act in that moment. “Ah, that’s right. You, my friend, are a pureblood and unknowing of muggle luxuries. What a shame.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t answer my question, what the hell is a sim? Like, a simulator? What kind of simulators do muggles run?”

The boy looked perplexed. It amused you.

You laid your books down on the table next to the cauldron and took out a couple quills. “Nope, it’s a uh, a game. Like on the computer so it’s digital and doesn’t have any real world effects.”

“What’s a computer?” Hyunjin looked intrigued now, tilting his head like a puppy with his soft brown puppy eyes. Why did this guy have to be so good-looking? It wasn’t good for your emotional capacities, aka your heart. You sighed.

“You have a lot to learn about the muggle world.” Shaking your head, you stirred the potion in the cauldron. “It’s a shame cause all of it really had progressed quite far.”

“Yea, but they don’t have magic, how advanced can they really b-”

You jumped, twirling 180 degrees to face Hyunjin behind you and cutting him off with a gasp, “You don’t know about memes!”

“What the fuck is a memes??”

Oh, you had so much to teach him about muggles. Which is what you did, and to your pleasant surprise, he seemed interested. He asked a lot of questions, which made you quite happy to explain to him. You rambled on about the muggle world as Hyunjin kept an open ear, all while beginning the brewing for the Amortentia. While muggles aren't as controversial to Slytherins as they used to be, many Slytherin and pureblood enthusiasts still turn their nose up at them.

Hyunjin, you were glad, was not one of them.

The first thing you taught Hyunjin was about gum of all things. You happened to have a pack on you and offered him some mint gum. You told him tons of muggles chewed it, but usually never swallowed it. He seemed a little confused at first. He didn’t complain and still seemed to like it though.

“Okay, so...today we added the ashwinder eggs and a handful of rose thorns” You read off of the instructions. “The potion needs to sit before we do much else with it, so we can continue brewing in about an hour. Then it has to sit for a whole nother day.”

You read over the specific instructions one more time to make sure and check yourself. While the potions ingredients were easily obtainable at Hogwarts, the procedures for it were incredibly tedious.

Hyunjin pulled a face mockingly, “Stir potion rigidly for ten and a half turns, let sit for five minutes before putting in sixteen rose thorns, blah blah blah.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” You nudged him and rolled your eyes, “don’t forget who had to get the ingredients because the bat spleens made you too squeamish.”

“You can’t blame me, those are disgusting.” Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and scrunched his nose, just by remembering the smell in the supply cabinet. He sat down and made himself comfortable, throwing his leg around the back of it so he straddled the chair. He rested his chin on it and he stared at you. “I’m bored.”

You climbed onto the table, next to the cauldron and plopped down on it. Your legs hung in the air and you just shrugged at him. “There isn’t much to do other than wait.”

“Earlier…” Hyunjin began, a hint of wonderment in his voice. “You were talking about muggle games and what they do for fun. Continue with that.”

You smiled, “Well, that’s a broad topic…”

“Oh, let’s play the one. Um… Dare and Truth?” Hyunjin tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows, then nodded to himself.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Same thing.”

Hyunjin surprised you in many ways, but you never expected to be playing truth or dare with the boy. Despite his slight confusion on how to play, it was a fun time and you ended up playing until the end. A lot more fun than you expected, actually. You’ve discovered Hyunjin was quite dramatic and a bit of a scaredy cat, refusing to partake in some of the more out-there dares you suggested. So, you were lenient on the dares since he was a newbie. Although, halfway into the hour, the game started to sound more like Would You Rather since there’s only so much two people could do with Truth or Dare.

Admittedly, you found Hyunjin very charming. He was distant in many ways, but still kind and charismatic. And oftentimes, you found yourself laughing with him. It surprised you how well the two of you connected.

“So…” Hyunjin hummed, taking his time to think of a question. “Would you rather...live as a muggle or a wizard for the rest of your life?”

You opened your mouth, then closed if after a second to think. Off the top of your head, you were about to say wizard, hands down. But as a muggle-born, your whole childhood was spent in the muggle world. Your entire family were muggles, and almost everything you knew was muggle. You loved the wizarding world, but you would most certainly feel homesick. “Um...muggle.”

Hyunjin looked surprised, “Why? That means no magic.”

He seemed perplexed, but you simply shrugged, “I love the muggle world. It’s where I grew up and where everything I know is. My family are muggles...I don’t think I could leave that behind.”

Hyunjin nodded thoughtfully, “It sounds amazing how they live so efficiently without magic…”

“It’s not as archaic as it sounds.” You laughed, “Muggles are actually very innovative. Now it’s my turn to ask you something.”

“Shoot. Oh, can I have another piece of gum?” He asked before you threw him another piece. He’s recently addicted to the mint-flavored gum you’ve been handing out. He wasn’t a big fan of gum before you, but now it just seems like he constantly asks you. The wizarding world does have gum, but it’s somewhat different from muggle gum. You guessed Hyunjin just preferred it more.

“So, would you rather risk your life for someone you love or have somebody risk their life out of love for you?” You smirked. Leaning back on the palms of your hands, you shifted; your bottom was getting uncomfortable from sitting on the tabletop for so long.

Hyunjin went silent for a moment, his expression dropped significantly. It looked conflicted and he slumped to rest his chin on the chairs back. Your smug smirk is wiped off your face as you realize you may have hit a sensitive topic for him, but you stayed silent and waited for his answer. He took his time, but he eventually looked up at you, sincerity crystal clear as he gave you your answer.

“I would rather die for love.”

The look of pure determination in his eyes caught you completely off guard. Your innocent question was answered thoughtfully by Hyunjin, who seemed to have strong feelings about it. At a loss for words, you blinked a couple times. You swallowed a sudden lump in your throat as you felt your heart thump wildly in your chest. These feelings were an unexpected turn of events, but after another moment, you smiled at him.

“That’s really endearing, I’m sure the love you feel is strong if you’re willing to risk your life for them.” You grinned warmly, then you pondered wistfully “I wonder if I could do anything like that...how that would feel to love someone so much in a moment.”

Hyunjin tore his eyes away from you, “Yea, I wonder what that feels like as well.”

∎∎∎

You sat across from Hyunjin, who was being very pouty at that moment.

Your arms were crossed, “Come on, get to work.”

He rested his chin on the table and looked at you with those big, stupid puppy dog eyes. “No.”

“We are literally in the library to do this stupid project,” You lightly whacked his shoulder, “now work.”

“I’m tired.” He whined and put his head down. His arms were splayed out on the table and pushed the numerous textbooks out of the way, ultimately messing up the study space. Hyunjin was not an easy person to motivate.

It was very late. The two of you have been in the library for four hours already, and for some reason, the Amortentia turned a weird green color. You were trying to find a way to remedy it without restarting the whole potion because it takes so long to brew. So you gathered as many potions books you could find and dropped them onto the table. All while Hyunjin attempted to work on the essay that was due with this project as well. And he was not happy with it.

“Y/n, I’m nearly dyslexic. Why did you make ME write the essay?? You’re the Ravenclaw.” He sat up and complained, throwing the quill onto the table. The light plink sound it made caused you to look up from the current book you were reading. You sighed and frowned.

“Look, I know you’re frustrated,” You then held up your textbook to face him. Allowing him to see the tragedy that was the potions book, it had itty bitty font with such confusing wording that even Shakespeare would cringe at it. “But do you REALLY want to read this horror story of a textbook. The dude who wrote this must’ve really been up his high horse. It really just sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo without a dictionary. He really just thinks big words and long sentences means better writing. Yikes.”

“Ah, come on it can’t be that bad.”

You gave him a look and handed him the textbook. “Okay, how about you read for a while and I’ll write?”

“Deal.” Hyunjin took the textbook and slid the parchment paper over to you, flicking it over carelessly and clearly happy to be rid of it. He obviously didn’t care much for this essay. You chuckled and shook your head.

You began by reading over what he already wrote, and it wasn’t bad, you just had to correct a few things before you started writing. Hyunjin only sat in stubborn silence, brows lowered in concentration. It’s wasn’t even ten minutes later when Hyunjin slammed the book down in frustration, “Listen, I don’t consider myself dumb. But what the hell does ‘DEFENESTRATE’ MEAN!!!???”

You calmly looked up from the paper, “The act of throwing something out of a window.”

“I’m about to throw this book out the window.” He ran a hand through his hair and took a long, heavy sigh. “Let me read it for like, ten more minutes and then we can switch back?”

“Yeah yeah, just let me know when. I bet you only last five.” You smiled and challenged him. Then got back to work, finding him a little cute.

“Yeah I’ll prove you wrong.” He muttered and began reading, this time with a dictionary on hand.

Time passed quickly, and soon ten minutes became twenty and you were getting suspicious. It was getting late and the library would be closing soon. The lights were dimming significantly as long shadows loomed through the library rows. Only about halfway done with the essay you take a quick break to see Hyunjin nose deep in the book. The worn leather bound cover clenched tight in his slender fingers as he looked slightly distressed. His hair was more ruffled up, probably from him running his hands through it a few too many times. But his expression was concerning, his lips were pulled taught and there was a heavy crease between his eyebrows. His eyes, especially, looked troubled and worried.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called to him, concern lacing your voice.

“Hm...?” He didn’t take his nose out from the book, eyes still scanning the words of it.

“You can take a break, it’s okay. You just look...I don’t know, upset.”

Hyunjin finally looked up from the book and lowered it, you saw him swallow. His eyes darted away from you.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked at you intensely, as if he were analyzing you. Judging you. It made you fidget in your chair, shifting your weight once or twice under his burning gaze. After he looked away again, he began packing up. Quickly shoving the textbook into his bag with the rest of his supplies. He stood up, frazzled and unnerved, “I’ll check this book out, let’s get out of here and then I’ll explain.”

“Hyunjin, you’re scaring me.” You looked at him suspiciously, slowly packing your stuff up as well.

“It’s okay, I just think...I just think I know what the problem is now.” Hyunjin grabbed your hand and guided you out of the library. He took the lead since he seemed like he wanted to go somewhere specific. He was on alert and a little jumpy, walking quickly. So, you didn’t say much more and allowed him to just show you what he wanted to. Soon enough though he calmed down a little and slowed down his pace, now walking side by side with you. You were clearly confused and a little anxious, but his hand in yours calmed you a little. You weren’t sure if he just forgot to pull his hand away or if he held it deliberately, he was frazzled so it made it hard to tell. You decided not to bring it to attention.

Eventually, he pulled you around a corner and into a room you've never seen before. The door was designed differently from the other entries in the castle, it was larger. Hyunjin quickly shut it behind you and seemed to relax a little. His shoulders visibly relaxed and he took a deep breath, eyes closed.

After admiring the room, it was small. Just about half the size of a classroom but still enough room to not feel suffocated. The room was a little plain but had furniture in the middle, just a couple love seats and a coffee table. After deciding it wasn't anything special except for a lounge room, you looked to Hyunjin. You took a step towards him, "Hyunjin?"

He opened his eyes and distanced himself from the door to walk past you and sunk into one of the chairs. He motioned for you to sit across from him. And you did, waiting patiently for him to explain.

"Um...so nothings really wrong. But…" he began but trailed off soon after. As if he wasn't quite sure what to say. He folded his hands in front of him and looked to his feet.

“Then what was that all about?” You leaned forward, concerned and not quite sure of yourself. “You suddenly rushed out of the library, half-pulled me through the castle, and now we’re in a room I never knew even existed in Hogwarts.”

“Oh! About that, this is called the Room of Requirement.” Hyunjin gained a little more confidence. Seemingly to stall the inevitable conversation, he was so desperately trying to avoid. “It only appears to students who need it, and it changes depending on what the need is. And right now...I just needed a private space to talk.”

You nodded, still confused, “So it just...appears sometimes?”

“Exactly.” Hyunjin nodded and fell silent.

It stayed silent, and you just looked at him expectantly. He avoided eye contact and looked uncomfortable, shifting in his seat and fiddling with his hands.

“Hey Hyunjin…” You called, and in the most comforting voice you could, “you don’t have to tell me now if it’s this distressing for you. It’s okay, as long as you’re comfortable and when you calm dow-”

“No no, I... I want to.” He interrupted you and shook his head, but he still looked unsure of himself. Despite that, he composed himself better and calmed down. “I’m just...nervous? Maybe I’m scared.”

“You sound like you don’t know.” You said quietly.

“I’m the reason why the Amortentia isn’t working.” He said, eyes avoiding you and palms sweaty.

“Is that all?” You seemed dumbfounded, “Hyunjin, if that’s the problem then that's okay! It’s not that big of a deal, this is only a bonus project and even then, it’s not like we were going to use it anyway.”

“No no, there’s more to it. So much more.” He said delicately, choosing his words carefully. “I…”

His eyebrows furrowed as if he wasn’t sure how to continue his train of thought. He tilted his head and continued, “Do you know what happens when a child is conceived under the effects of Amortentia?”

You nodded, “Yea, the child won’t be able to feel love. That’s why Voldemort...couldn’t.”

Hyunjin frowned but nodded. “That’s right. The child can’t feel love. That-that doesn’t mean they’re inherently evil, but the feeling of love just doesn’t come to them.”

“Okay, but why did you bring this up? Voldemort’s be dead for decades.” You were thoroughly confused now. Was Hyunjin concerned about the consequences of brewing this potion? Was the potion being brewed wrong? What did he read?

“Well, turns out...if a person who was conceived under Amortentia, tries to brew it, it won’t work. The Amortentia will have the opposite effect instead...not ‘love,’ but disgust. And it turns a green color...” Hyunjin explained, much calmer now, but the nervous glint in his eyes were still present. His long fingers were fidgety and you noticed his Adam's apple bob.

“Wait, but our potion is…” Your eyes widened in realization, and your lips formed an o shape. Your eyes quickly turned sympathetic. “Oh Hyunjin…"

You quickly reassured him that it was okay and went to sit beside him. You took his one hand and held it between your own, your thumb rubbing reassuring circles over his skin. While his palms were a little shaky, he calmed down a little and proceeded to steady his breathing. Hyunjin finally got the courage to look at you, he lifted his head gently as he gauged you from behind his fringe. And you smiled, your eyes showed kindness and acceptance. You realized this explained so much about him. This was why he didn’t smell anything in the Amortentia, why he felt so cold at times, and why he wasn’t close to many people.

Hyunjin visibly relaxed, “I was afraid that you’d think I’m a monster.”

“Never, Hyunjin, I could never think that.”

“You’re unique then...most people do.” Hyunjin’s eyebrows pulled together, a sad look crossed his face as his lips tugged down. He was reminiscing, but they obviously weren’t happy memories.

You squeezed his hand in reassurance, “I don’t, and others shouldn’t either. Hyunjin, you are absolutely not a monster and people who think that just don’t understand. They...are not the end all be all.”

He nodded and smiled at you, “You know, I’m really glad I’ve met you… This might sound weird, but I don’t think I’ve felt this close to somebody before.”

“And what’s close to you?” You tilted your head, wondering what feelings he felt for you if not love.

“I can’t feel love, but it’s more like trust.” Hyunjin nodded to himself, his gaze towards the ground, “It’s like trust and safety. And I’m comfortable and happy. And well, it’s not like I don’t feel happy around our classmates, I think I get along with most people really well. But it’s kind of like...I couldn’t care less about them. And I don’t say that like I don��t see them as people, I do. But to get myself to care about them and what goes on in their lives, I just don’t.”

“Then, how am I any different?” You asked, still curious about what you did differently.

And Hyunjin only shrugged, “I just feel more comfortable with you, most people tend to say I’m cold when they try to get close to me. They would get offended that I don’t seem interested, but you just...treated me normally. You didn’t push anything and just treated me as you would anyone else. You did it with a kind heart too. I guess you could say you were very loving in a way. I think it’s something I want and seeing you in love helps me. It lets me see what being in love is like.”

“M-me, in love?” You stuttered, caught off guard at Hyunjin's sudden statement. You weren’t entirely sure what he was talking about. Maybe it was Seungmin, or perhaps it was that he noticed you were catching feelings for him. You really hoped he didn’t notice.

Hyunjin chuckled, but it sounded sad. “The relationship you have with your friend, that other Ravenclaw, Seungmin. It’s very wholesome, anybody could see the amount of love and care the two of you have for each other. It’s natural and simplistic and... I don’t know. I guess I get a little jealous.”

Feeling your face redden in embarrassment just made you even more nervous. As your heart thumped loudly, you laughed nervously. And you tried to wave off Hyunjin’s words. “How do you know I love Seungmin? He’s my best friend, of course, I love him but-”

“Remember when you were sleep talking the other day?” Hyunjin’s devilish grin made your stomach drop. He was implying that...no.

“What did I say, I swear to god if you say anything to anybody you are a dead man.”

“Just that you’ve been wanting a date with the one and only Kim Seungmin at Hogsmeade. That’s all.” He teased. Which was conflicting since he seemed much more comfortable now, but he took the liberty to tease the hell out of you.

Immediately you covered your face and buried your head in your hands. Every time you attempt to confront your feelings for Seungmin, you get too confused and flustered. So you just tended to not dwell on it, mainly since it could ruin the friendship. You didn’t want that.

“Sorry sorry,” Hyunjin was very amused and ruffled your hair up, “I’ll stop, but only because if I continue, you’d shut down completely.”

You grumbled and rolled your eyes, “You’re not wrong.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you, and you thought about what Hyunjin must’ve gone through in his life, it definitely couldn’t have been easy. He was scared to tell you, and you could only imagine what happened to him before to make him that nervous. It made you a little sad. You also thought about what he said about feeling jealous. He obviously wants to feel love, he wants to love somebody but physically can’t. All because of some stupid love potion. If there was a way to help him, you would.

“Hey,” Hyunjin called out gently, “what’s it like?”

“Hm?”

“What’s it like to love somebody?”

“Oh, well, it’s probably the most comforting feeling I know. And when you’re with them, the world seems a little brighter. You focus on the little things they do, and it just makes you fall even more in love, you just can’t look away. You just feel like you’re on cloud nine and you don’t want to come down. They’re on your mind a lot, and it’s a little stressful. But only because you want the best for them and for them to be happy. I would die for somebody I loved.” You thought hard and soon after the words just spilled from your mouth, you thought about your family and friends as you described it. Trying to put it into words as best as you could. And Hyunjin only nodded thoughtfully, otherwise staying silent.

“People care about you Hyunjin, I care about you.” You urged, “I hope you remember that.”

“I will, I promise y/n.”

∎∎∎

Back in the potions room, you and Hyunjin were attempting to fix the Amortentia. And he, of course, asked for mint gum.

“Okay, so, as long as I don’t touch it anymore, it should come out okay.” Hyunjin was reading the textbook, “The potion should go back to normal by the time it’s finished.”

“Sounds great.” You stirred the green Amortentia, the color was a far cry from the pearly sheen it was supposed to have. But you were going to trust Hyunjin on this and just continue brewing. So you threw in another ingredient and just went with it. “So, what now?”

Hyunjin shrugged, “Let’s play a game. Truth or Dare?”

You perked up, your lips tugged up, “Absolutely. But you can’t say no to dares anymore, got it?”

He grimaced for a split second, nose scrunching up, “Ah fine, but that rule applies to you too.”

You flashed him a toothy grin, “Easy.”

And you played. Usually, truth or dare with only two people wasn’t that fun, but Hyunjin seemed to enjoy it. And while you guys played, he asked about muggle things as you both chewed on mint gum. It was simple and it was fun, just like how it’s always been when you were with Hyunjin. You laughed as you finally got Hyunjin to participate in the dares he originally refused to do. And Hyunjin got a kick out of teasing the hell out of you. A while passed and the atmosphere calmed down a bit, it was your turn.

“Truth or Dare.”

“Um...dare.” You smiled.

Hyunjin got quiet as he thought, then a mischievous grin pulled at his lips. “Kiss me.”

“....?” You stared at him as you try to remember if you heard that right. “I... sorry what?”

“I dare you,” Hyunjin repeated as if talking to a child, the teasing glint in his eyes, “to kiss me.”

“You’re kidding,” you whined, and your cheeks began to heat up, “you’re just teasing me…”

“No, well, yes. But it’s your rule.” Hyunjin seemed to be serious about this, “You can’t back down now.”

Your eyes trailed down to his lips, then snapped back up to his eyes. Completely unaware of what his goals for this were, you were pouting and felt conflicted. On one hand, you were catching feelings for this boy, and they were getting stronger by the day. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him. But on the other hand, you also didn’t know why he wanted to kiss you, and there was that tiny little voice that reminded you about Seungmin. It was at the back of your conscious but it spoke up and let itself be known. You felt your palms beginning to grow sweaty and your mouth dry up, your leg began to bounce.

Hyunjin noticed your hesitation and took your hand in his, he scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around you. He was incredibly close to you now, and as he leaned down, he was closing the distance. You were hip to hip, his one hand holding yours and the other pulled you closer. Your heart felt as if it were beating out of your chest and you were positive your ears were as red as an apple. His eyes locked onto yours, “I’ll make this easier for you, but you can’t back down. Okay?”

You swallowed nervously and fluttered your eyelashes as you looked up at him and nodded. You mumbled a quick agreement before pressing your lips to his, bringing your one hand up to cup his cheek. You were nervous, but Hyunjin was comforting for you. His touch was gentle as he held you and kissed back. The kiss was soft and delicate. Your lips moved together in just the right way. And when you finally pulled back for a breather, Hyunjin leaned back in for more. Prolonging the kiss and tightening his grip on your waist. Your hand moved to the base of his head, threading your fingers through his hair. The kiss became deeper and more fervent, the delicate touches were replaced. And you stayed like that, relishing the sudden development in your relationship, neither of you seemingly wanting to let go.

And when you finally did, you pressed your forehead against his, breathing heavily. Your eyes were on his lips, one of his best features in your opinion. Hyunjin chuckled lightly, “I enjoyed that.”

He got your attention, and you looked up into his warm eyes, and you smiled back. “Me too.”

In Hyunjin's arms, you basked in the aftermath of the kiss, and you realized one thing. Your heart was captured by this boy, and he wasn’t going to give it back. This gentle, sensitive, amazing boy had your heart now, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. After weeks of slowly building your feelings up, he swept it from your hands and held it carefully. As you locked eyes with Hyunjin, all your feelings were communicated to him. Feelings of love, caring, and understanding. Hyunjin understood completely, and as if a final promise to you, to keep your heart safe with him, he pressed his warm lips to your forehead. A sweet, gentle kiss to protect you as best he could. And you would like to believe Hyunjin gave a piece of himself to you as well.

And then you understood. Your heart was too far gone to go back to the way it was before.

a/n: WOW it’s finally done, and it’s only part one hahahaha. I have a lot planned for this and i reaaaaally love this. I hope yall love it as well, it took a lot of effort. And I’m kinda glad I got it out near Christmas, kinda like a gift :)

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goth-girlfriend · 5 years ago

Note

love your latest endeavor story!!! please do a part 2 omg

Of course!💙 I’m excited for it myself!

Well, now we have to name it,

Endeavor’s Intern

(2/?)

🖤💙❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️💙🖤

“So much for waiting just for a schedule.” I mumbled and finally relaxed again Endeavor’s chest.

He ignored me, his arms still stretched out working away at papers on his desk. My thights started to hurt form being pressed together between his own, so I didn’t what any rational person would do. I grabbed a hold of his massive biceps and ignoring his protests I pushed myself up and pushed my legs over his thighs and knees. In this new position I leaned back completely against his chest, his chin now resting ontop of my head. I took deep breath and looked around his office, the sky has moved from mid morning to mid afternoon. The clouds were not longer just bright white, they had tints of orange and pink.

‘Hey, hows it going?’ -❄️🔥

‘Oh, you know, it’s going’ -☀️🖤

‘Did you cry? He goes easier when you cry.’ -❄️🔥

‘No..., i didn’t get a smack on the hand though, kinda hurt honestly. 😭 -☀️🖤

‘You’ll Live then, it could’ve gone worse.’ -❄️🔥

‘Yeah, okay. So....how’s it going on your part?’-☀️🖤

“Tell Shoto to get back to work.” Endeavors voice vibrates against my back.

“Tell him what?” I asked wanting feel him speak again.

“To get back to work.” He grumbled and pushed his hips back against his chair to lean foreward slightly.

I followed his actions not really wanting to, but because he was quite literally my chair at the moment.

‘Shoto, you dad says get back to work’ -☀️🖤

‘Tell him get back to work.’- ❄️🔥

“Shoto says for you to get back to work,” I tried to looked over my shoulder.

Endeavor mumbled something and I started to scroll through my phone. I landed on Snapchat, ever since the sports festival and leaking my snapchat my views have gone threw the roof. Apparently people like to see what it’s like to be a hero in training.

I opened the filters and started to play around with some, my favorite being the basic heart crown. I took a few pictures with different filters not posting them due to endeavors chest being visible in the background. I might be a little crazy but I’m not stupid. I wonder if I can get a picture with Endeavor.

“Endeavor Senpai,” I felt him tense behind me.

No response, “Will you take a picture with me?”

He didn’t answer, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I angled my phone upwards, at the top of the screen his face, at the bottom was from my nose up. We both had heart crown filters. He seemed annoyed, but I took the picture anyway.

“I don’t like this let me try a different one.” I moved and sat across his lap, my butt on one thigh and my legs over the other.

I turned my phone to its side and then got us both in the picture.

“Smile, it’s not like anyone else is going to see this.” I mumbled and smiled.

The edges of his lips tugged up barely, I took it as the best I could and took the picture.

“That’s definitely getting saved.” I saved it twice.

I scrolled through the filters and found a fan made filter, Endeavor or All Might poll. I looked over at Endeavor, he was staring at me hard as I clicked on my answer. Of course it was going to be him, he been my crush for about two years, and I’m literally sitting on him right now.

The filter changed to red heart and fire emoji crown, I smiled at Endeavor and leaned my side against his chest. I wrapped my right arm about his neck and held up a piece sign.

“Come on, now you really have to smile for this one.” The filter picked up on the both of us and I stretched out my left arm to get more of us.

I was gonna cherish these because this might never happen again. He had a faint smile, I smiled wider and tilted my head to the right slightly, he loved his left arm around my hips and his right arm resting on the arm rest. I felt all happy considering I was literally quitting three or four hours ago.

I took the picture and saved it, I showed it to him. He simply made a “hm” noise.

I let out a heavy sigh, “I’m bored.”

“You go on Patrol soon, go get ready.” With that he pushed me off his lap.

Standing up I nodded and grabbed my coffee smelling and slightly now stiff cloak.

“He totally likes me.” I mumbled once I was outside his office.

I walked to the elevator, the secretary of the floor looking at me smirking.

“Did her get rid of you already?” She was smirking.

“Pfft, If i weren’t here for just a week I could replace you faster then you can order his Coffee.” I sassed at her and did the most cliche finger snap.

She rolled her eyes, I smield and turned to walk into the elevator, Todoroki was there.

“So don’t tell anyone but guess what.” I said once the elevator doors were closed.

“What?” Shoto asked crossing his arms across his chest.

“I-“ I stopped and pulled out my phone to show him the picture I took with his dad, the last picture showed I was sitting in lap with his hand on my hip.

“Look.” I showed him the screen grinning like an idiot.

“What.” He looked at the photo eyes wide, “how?” He asked.

“He smacked my hand and then told me to wait for the schedule change, so I went to sit down but pulled me down and basically said he said he told me to wait not to move.”

“I see.” He leaned back against the wall of the elevator, “So should I refer to you as step mom, mom or just by your name like I do now?”

I blushed and looked down, “Shut it Shoto, your dad is still married to your mom so I actually feel bad now.”

I sulked looking down, Shoto sighed and rolled his eyes.

“(Y/n), they were actually divorced not to long after she was admitted to the hospital. It just never made it to the public.” He sighed and looked down.

I felt bad, I moved and hugged him from the side. My arms wrapped around his chest and my chin bent upwards to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Todo,” I whispered.

He turned slightly and hugged me back, “Together we make a whole mess.”

I laughed at him, a smile made its way to his lips.

“Yeah but now it’ll be you and my dad,” he exaggerated a sigh, “So I’ll be all alooonnee,” he exaggerated another sigh, “No friend, no money, nothing. Just alone.”

“You’re such a baby,” I pulled away and so did he.

“Besides I’d totally be a sugar baby and we’d definitely hang out and I’d finally go to universal!” I put my hands on my hips smiling up at Shoto.

“Oh, so your in it for the money.” His left brow quirked.

“No, not really.” I sighed and looked down, “It’s probably not real, people will think I’m crazy and don’t know what love it. I mean after all we’re only 15 , but I think I really like your dad...” I smiled down at my shoes.

The elevator doors finally opened.

“Well,” he sighed, “Good luck.” We stepped out and he walked off with another hero.

“I’ll see you after Patrols.” He called out over his shoulder.

“See you then.” I mumbled.

I sat on a sofa in the waiting room, I wonder who I’m patrolling with today. I hope it’s someone cool, I don’t really know anyone, so I don’t know who’s cool yet. I kicked my feet slightly just waiting for someone to pick me up and take me with them on patrol. About three other pairs left, not one person taking me, or stopping to ask me.

I deflated a bit with every passing person, did Endeavor lie to? Did he just tell me that to get me out of his way?

“Well, day two is coming to an end, no patrols so far.” I logged down on a mini log I had made in my calendar. “Wonder if I’ll get to go home, or will I wait all night for a patrol.”

Just as I closed the app I leaned back in my chair.

“We’re leaving lets go.” I jumped up quickly at the sound of Endeavor’s voice.

“Yes sir.” I follows quickly as he made his way out the door.

“There are four teams out already, one in the north, east, south and west. Well cover the central area. When a call comes in the group closest will respond first. If they’re busy the second closest will respond.” I followed and took mental notes as he spoke.

“Just a question.” I asked when he took a break from explaining.

He looked down at me arms crossed, “What?”

“Do you ever work with any heroes outside of your agency or is it like a strict agency hero teamwork system for you?” I asked curious why he was talking with Hawks.

“There is an occasional hero that is nuisance, but can complete tasks efficiently.” He didn’t sound to happy about it.

“Hawks?” I asked tilting my head.

“Precisely.” He looked ahead on the semi empty streets, avoiding eye contact as to no have to interact with anyone.

“He’d be useless with out his wings, even if they don’t do much I wouldn’t expect much from them.” He stopped at a side walk lights nd peared around the corner into a dark alleyway.

“What’s wrong with wings?” I asked looking around where he did.

“They get in the way, they get dirty easy, if you’re anything like Hawks the slightly dust will awns you into a cleaning frenzy. Overall I think they are more trouble then they’re worth at times.” He said as he finally began to cross.

“Well I think they’re cool.” I looked down, our shadows fell behind us. “I mean they’re are so many things you can do.”

I activated my quirk, surprise, I can grow wings. I stretched my left wing behind Endeavor’s back to tap his left shoulder he’d turned and I pulled it away quickly.

“Also it’s just something about the sound of flying that just gives me a sense of peace and nostalgia. When I was younger, I used to love birds flying, crows and ravens specially. They would get closer not exactly afraid, I loved to listen to them flap their wings, it sounded powerful for such small birds, considering the size of birds of prey.” I shrugged and started to think about.

“Did you see someone back there?” Endeavor asked as I stopped.

“No why?” I asked looking back.

He didn’t say a thing but looked foreward. I moved to tap his shoulder, looking for a distraction.

“Ooo, look it’s you.” I pointed to a hero Mech store, Endeavor plushies and posters were on display by the window.

He turned to look I too the opportunity and tucked it away. I watched him look over his shoulder then back.

“Have you ever bought any of your own merchandise?” I asked him.

“No, I’m always gifted my own merchandise.” He didn’t seem impressed.

“Well then.” I mumbled and then saw a new collection.

“Look! They have a new thing.” I pointed to a small white box with question marks.

“Text your luck, see what UA student you can collect. class 1-A first collection, sixteen different figures, collect them all.” I read it out loud, “Im gonna buy some, I wonder if I can find myself, this is amazing.”

I got excited and deactivated my quirk, I could foil my own plan. I started to walk in before Endeavor cleared throat. It hit me, this is an internship, I slowly pushed the door.

“Pleeeeaaaasssseeeee.” I stretched it out not opening the door.

“Hurry.” He said and turned away.

I rushed in and bought the whole box. There’s three in each there has to be at least one of me. I saw a different bag and bought three of those, they were pro hero’s.

I walked out bag in head, “Alright I can compromise, if I get more then one Shoto I’ll let you have one, I think they’re keychains.” I said looking at the bag I was holding in my right hand.

Endeavor just looked at me and sighed, I smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Well let’s get back to work...”

As we walked I pulled my belt around my waist, it had a large pouch on the back, I pulled out all the small bags and squished them in there and made sure to-zip if tight. I threw the paper bag and box away and caught up with Endeavor.

We spent the next few hours doing nothing, just walking around. Every now and then I would tap his shoulder while I talked about something nonchalant, he look for whatever it was and turn back around.

“Well, I’m hungry, and you said patrols ended at 2, it’s 2:20.” I was looking at my phone.

“Alright.” He said stopping in the light of some 24 hour shop, “Well take a break.”

I got excited, I’d finally be able to open my toys.

“Great, What is this place I’m starving.” I leaned around and looked past Endeavors broad shoulders and chest.

“Boba tea and cafe.” I read the sign, “24/7 for your convenience. Pro hero discount after 9:40 pm.”

I looked up at Endeavor, “You even get a discount.”

I was about to pass him until someone cut me off. Red wings blocked my view. It was Hawks, I looked around and saw him, Tokoyami. I smiled at him, he nodded.

“Ew.” I said in fake disgust at Hawks with a smile on my face.

“Hm?” He turned to me.

“Oh didn’t see you there shorty.” He was snarky, he used the tip of his wing to ‘take’ my height to show how is a shorter then him.

“Don’t get to cocky, the size of your wings have nothing to do with the type of man you are.” I huffed and swatted his wing away.

It was very soft surprisingly.

He laughed, “Feisty.”

“Yeah, now, move please? I haven’t eaten since last night.” I said trying to get last.

“Endeavor!” He pushed past me forgetting about me and his intern.

I watched Endeavor’s face contort.

“Well let’s eat.” I shrugged at Tokoyami, he sighed and nodded.

Tokoyami and I walked in and made our way to the register.

“Alright, what do you that is good and affordable for high school students?” I asked when the guy asked how he could help us.

“We have a mystery meal,” he started, “You gettour choice boba tea, a side of rice, and depending on the day you get a cutlet, grilled fish, tempura shrimp, steamed vegetables, omelet or dumplings. We give you care and every time you order a mystery meal we lunch a hole, after six visits for the seventh by redeeming your card you can chose a pro hero inspired meal for free.” He explains and showed me a silver paper card with little squares.

“Alright, I’ll take one. Do you want one Tokoyami?” I asked. He was looking at the menu above us.

“Yes but you order fir-”

“Two mystery meals, his apple flavored if you have it and I’ll take strawberries, both with mango pearls please.” I gave the guy my bank card he scanned it and punched two holes in my card.

“Thank you.” I smield and took it from him.

“Aren’t you guys from UA?” He asked and eyes us.

“Yup, is you watched the festival you should at least recognize our own number three right here.” I patted Tokoyami’s shoulder.

We went to sit in a large booth, we kept small talk. Tokoyami telling me how Hawks likes to stand behind him and spread out his wings or carry him so then people see them they look like one whole bird.

After he finished I told him a bout the small figures and pulled out a bag, I asked him if he wanted to open one. He denied and I opened it. Out came three Tokoyami.

“Well then.” I said and picked one up, a small version of Dark shadow was coming from him in the figure.

“Look how cute dark shadow looks.” I pointed him out.

“Here you can have one.” I laid him the miniature version of himself.

He picks did up by the chain looking at it. “Not a lot of variety.”

I let out a few laughs, and shook my head, “Nah, it’s just beginners bad luck.”

I stood the two Tokoyami up and reached for another bag as I moved my pouch to the front to look like a Fanny pack.

“Well, I have our whole class now,” I tried to make a seating arrangement on the table. All the extras piled on the side.

“I’m even here.” I pointed to my smaller self.

“Sixty figures and I only get to keep sixteen.” I said and looked at the rest.

“Oh! Also look at these.” I pulled out a bag of pro hero’s.

“How much can you fit in that bag?” Hawks asked from his spot beside Tokoyami.

“A lot, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I said pulling out the bags of pro hero’s.

“These have four.” I read on fo three bags.

I opened the first bag, three all nights and an Aizawa.

“That’s depressing.” Hawks said as he picked up a Might.

“Next.” I said throwing the bag to the side.

A midnight, present mic and two ectoplasm.

“The bags says your chances of getting top five hero’s are better then the rest, but you literally just got a rare and not a single common.” Hawks said taking the empty bag from me.

I sighed. “Last one.”

I opened it and put came four Hawks.

I looked at him, he was smirking, “Ill end you, I’ll do it.”

I dropped the bag but it made a clicking noise.

I picked it up, “Look.” I showed stood the fifth figure up, “They packed an extra.”

“It’s a little Endeavor.” Hawks said reaching for it, “I didn’t spend 20 dollars for someone else to take it. I swatted his hand.

“But you can have a Tokoyami, All Might and Hawks.” I pushed the three to him.

He pouted and looked at the figure between my two fingers.

“But I want that one.” He pointed to Endeavor.

“No he’s mine.” I argued back.

“Excuse me, can we have a picture of you four for our hero wall?” The cashier boy was back with trays of food and a girl beside him with a camera.

Nobody had time to reply before Hawks was standing and ageeeing. “Everybody show your quirks, they have to know we’re legit.”

I looked at Endeavor who never stopped burning, “I don’t think it’s that hard to believe.”

We lined up, Hawks, Tokoyami, Myself and Endeavor.

I propped my left arm on Tokoyami’s shoulder, Hawks raised his wings and did a peace sign, Tokoyuhad darkshadow infront front of him, I stretched my wings up and out, and Endeavor has his arms crossed against his chest. The girl stuck the Polaroid to a paper and held a sharpie out, “would you like to si-“

Hawks snatched the paper away and looked at me then the paper then me.

“What?!” He asked and looked at me, twats at the corner of his eyes.

“I thought I was special,” he was deflating slowly.

I laughed and looked at the picture, “Ooo, I look good.” I said pointing to my wing, it stretched out further than Hawks.

“Well, don’t hold out on me what kind.” He squinted, “Eagle, when I was a younger everyone thought vulture or raven or crow but surprise! Bird of prey.” I shrugged.

“You know what this means?” He asked.

“No.” I answered honestly.

“Wing buddies!” He lifted his left wing and I looked at it, I tired to resist but sighed and gave in, I hit his wing with my own and sighed, “wind buddies!” I cheered back with a smile.

We all signed the paper and the lady hung it on a wall.

After eating we all headed out, I reached into my pouch and pulled out two figures. I slid back around to my back and held my hand out to Endeavor.

“Here, it’s you and Shoto.” I said offering the two figures.

“Thank you.” His voice was low and smooth, his larger hand covered mine as he took them. Heat leaving his hand and engulfing my own.

I felt my wings ruffle up a bit as J smiled, “You’re welcome Senpai.” I winked at him and grinned.

He looked over at me, my heart fluttered. His eyes looked so pretty in the dark, being lit up but every other white light we passd.

I was really hoping I wouldn’t call it love, but man, if this wasn’t love what was it?

We walked down the same side walk, I wanted to reach for his larger hand, in my mind I could here Shoto “do it.”

So I did, he tended and I whistled a tune like nothing happened. He just looked ahead, I smiled and tightened my grip slightly on his hand.

“This is definitely the best.”

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

@lovemadnessharleyquinn

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thepulta · 4 years ago

Text

Part 5

The problem wasn’t even the house, it was the chill. The entrance was bright and airy with little cream fleur-de-lis on the walls. Relia had placed a little semi-circle of bronzewood chairs with green upholstery in a semi-circle around the parlor, off the entranceway. There were wood bookshelves on the wall and a fireplace that the maids lit at precisely 6pm. It was bright from the light of the Clockwork Sun and the whole airy place stank like a dead rat rolled in lavender. It was a cesspit of lies and deceit and Stars- just the fucking arrogance of those goddamn lace curtains curling over the fucking windows like little haunting ghosts. Chilly.

Morgan shrank from the parlor and absentmindedly tossed her carpetbag into her other hand. There were light footsteps in the hall. Unfamiliar. Morgan scanned the face of a maid with short white hair who was probably a year older than her. The maid smiled cheerfully, like a little puppy. “Oh! You must be Miss Morgan!” Wow. I hate you. “Captain Faire mentioned you’d be arriving today. I can take your bag, miss. You must be tired.” I’m not tired. “If you pardon me, miss, where’s Miss Westlie?”

“On the trellis outside.” Morgan said, completely serious.

The maid blinked in confusion.

Morgan grinned back and winked. It was a predatory grin and a predatory wink. The chill of the house had infected her face. She wasn’t good at hiding her emotions when she didn’t want them hidden and indignation bubbled just under the surface.

The maid laughed nervously. “Right then.” She took her bag and started up the staircase. She shot a look over her shoulder to see if Morgan was following- she was- and then seemed to shrink into herself. She didn’t chatter again.

How long had the maid worked here? She seemed to know Westlie, but Morgan would’ve remembered her ashy hair, so she must have been hired in the past four months. There were little tells too. If you stepped on the fifth or seventh step on the stairs, the painting of Captain Faire tilted ten degrees to the left. Captain Faire always wanted the portraits level. The maid stepped on them both.

There was a hallway at the top of the stairs. To the right was the master wing. At the top of the stairs was a little sitting room, and then directly to the left of the sitting room was Morgan’s godawful lilac-smelling shithole. The maid opened the door respectively with a little of her initial pep, like Morgan was supposed to enjoy coming home, and stood there while she walked in.

I really need to put some old books under the bed to make it smell better, was Morgan’s first thought, like it always was, and I really need to make the walls more interesting, was the second, like it always was. There were still nails and blemishes in the wallpaper from her and Arthur’s cold war as a teenager. Nothing interesting was allowed to spice it up, although Morgan had managed to drag in several more “acceptable” bookshelves than Westlie’s room and arrange the thicker ones near the door, so the corners of the room were shrouded. This was permissible chaos.

There was a bed with its headboard against the wall. Boring. (Again, Morgan had tried repeatedly to angle it but it always ended up in the same position as before.) Along with a desk in the corner. She had managed to get the desk closer to the bed so her favorite reference materials were in the bookshelf by the window right against it, there was her desk, and then the bed was adjacent in the middle. It made the corner cozier. But that in itself had been an arduous process, inching the bed against the side of the desk so slowly nobody had questioned why it wasn’t in the middle of the room. She had a dresser by the closet.

The whole room was covered in the same fleur-de-lis wallpaper as the rest of the house, although there were several patches in the corners of Morgan’s room that had clearly been sliced and the same wallpaper had been matched against it.

“Thank you.”

The maid bobbed a curtsey and shut the door. And Morgan was left alone.

The loneliness from the house sparked boredom and the boredom hit her like a pound of bricks to the face. It never got any easier. It was an itch that started in her extremities and slowly moved inward until her whole body was screaming that it needed something (the desire was never named) and it needed it now. The boredom, like it always did, brought memories of trying to fix it because there was nothing in the room but the fucking wallpaper to stare at. Morgan hissed and threw open the window, trying to ignore it and inexplicably unable to.

Five years ago, she had been fifteen and adorable and not hellishly jaded. She’d wandered one of the museums and seen a series of cute shelves placed about two feet from the ceiling - about 6ft up, still grabbing distance – wrapping around the whole room supported by well-placed supports nailed into the wall. It was brilliant. A bookshelf you could reach from anywhere.

She scrounged all night for the proper wood at the docks, snuck it into the room in the morning with some definitely-not-stolen tools and got to work bright and early at 6am. She had to give Arthur credit for not caring enough about her he waited 3 full hours to slam the door open. At that point she’d had the supports attached and she was fucking around with the shelf placement, trying to see if she could make them fit without too much sawing. She could still remember his red face and the way he stopped dead in the doorway trying to take in the boards she was sawing in half on top of the footpost and a bookshelf she’d dragged into the center of the room. Morgan couldn’t help the grin on her face. “Good morning.”

“What.” He blustered. “What. Is this.”

“Bookshelves! They’re going to be lovely.” Morgan had stopped sawing and swiveled to look at the supports with pride, hands on her hips. “Look, they wrap all the way around the room. I put a break there for the other bookshelf. It is kinda tall, isn’t it?”

“Get them off. What the fuck are they doing here? You’ve fucking ruined the wallpaper.”

The wallpaper? He was worried about the wallpaper? He’d said more words to her now than all year and it was about the fucking wallpaper? Morgan actually cocked her head to count what he’d said to her in the last two years. 1) He’d caught Westlie embezzling again and he decided to go to the source of the problem. 2) She was a leech and a problem to be endured and she should be grateful. 3) She should be grateful he didn’t ship her off to Leadbeater for good- which was the most recent jab about six months ago when she ran into him in the hall. She didn’t actually bother to retort that one, just raise an eyebrow, walk away, and book her spot to Leadbeater that evening (ironically). She’d left Westlie a short note. And then she’d traveled until Arthur had demanded – through Westlie in an equally commandeering manner – that she come home and Westlie was going to make sure she did it by meeting her in Port Prosper. (Which was rich, Morgan realized, because all she had to do was not show up, and then Westlie would ask where she was twice, and then Westlie would go back to London to get chewed out by Arthur, and Morgan would stay safely away. But that would require Westlie to be chewed out.)

Speaking of Westlie, she deserved to get chewed out right now because Morgan was sitting on the bed staring at this motherfucking godawful cream-ass wallpaper. FUCK.

The itch to move roared back and Morgan flung her carpetbag over to the dresser and scrambled at the window latch. They had to be inside at this point, unless Westlie had gotten too soft in the months she’d been gone. Lizzie seemed more than capable of climbing in. Morgan finally got the window unlocked – it tended to stick, which was why she went and climbed out of Westlie’s more than she should – and she looked at the garden. There was a small indent in the gravel where they’d jumped over the wall and Westlie’s window had been shut. Fine. They were in. Was it seven yet?

Morgan glanced at the clock on the wall – 6:35, fuck – and her eye was drawn back to the wallpaper that was ever so slightly misaligned so you could see where it’d been cut. That had all happened after Arthur confronted her. She refused to take it down. He fumed and left. When she left for the day, it had all been torn down when she got back. At the time Morgan had the energy to be furious and she wanted those shelves. She cut it all out again and put them back up when he was out on a weekend business trip. They got torn down again. Up and down, up and down, until she was red in the face and the docks started putting locks on their fucking wood – which wasn’t a problem really, it was just annoying that they needed to because her fucking father couldn’t fucking stand to have shelves in her room. After a year and a half of trying, Morgan bitterly gave it up. It was futile. The maids were relentless, and they flocked to Arthur’s beck and call. All she could do was sit there, rearrange her bookshelves, and be bitter as the maids rolled out new wallpaper to cover the blemishes of the wood and the nails. A constant reminder of failure.

Twenty minutes.

Morgan snatched up the newspaper and aimlessly flipped through it. It didn’t scratch the itch but it helped.

She slipped into the hallway at exactly 6:59 and cracked open Westlie’s door to see- Oh. Great. Lizzie was crying. Westlie had completely forgotten about dinner. Morgan could already see it. Westlie stood at attention, always; it was her way of being prepared, and she hated stooping because it felt vulnerable. Morgan was generally good at making the facade crumble. She couldn’t always manage it in the house but when they were walking in the street, at the pub, in quiet places, when they were sitting and swinging their feet and Westlie’s shoulders drooped; her eyes got softer and she looked human. When she felt something intensely it shone through too and she would lean, or soften, or some change so she wasn’t ramrod straight. Lizzie however, had done a great job of getting Westlie to bow the knee even though the woman clearly didn’t know what the everloving fuck she was doing. She was not good at comforting.

Ire burst in Morgan’s stomach. “It’s seven.”

… oh, she’d definitely forgotten. Westlie offered Lizzie her handkerchief and glanced up. “I-”

You can’t make it. I know. Another burst of anger. Morgan bit her tongue that time.

“Morgan… she’s scared.” Yes. She’s extremely frightened by the lilac-smelling shithole you brought her to. “I’m not leaving her like this.”

She hadn’t asked her to leave Lizzie like that, although, Morgan guessed, she had insinuated it- That was unfair, saying that though, because she should be happy her sister had a fucking soul, right? So kind and benevolent for no reason- for no goddamn reason to a stranger. Anger nearly burst out of her mouth and Morgan swallowed hard. The ball of fury settled in her stomach and she tried to speak again. Lizzie was staring at her with wide tearful eyes now; Morgan wasn’t hiding the struggle well. “Of course.”

It dripped sarcasm. She didn’t intend for that. She did, but she didn’t.

Westlie caught the undertone and her eyes flashed as her body shifted ever so slightly in front of Lizzie. It was the same predictable physical block she used when Morgan, Arthur, and her were trapped in the same room, but this time Morgan wasn’t the one being protected. “I’ll come out when I’m ready. Where are the blankets?”

I hate you. Morgan’s anger bubbled over. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate your face. I hate that look. I hate how stupid you are. I hate your fucking skirt. I hate your hair. Take your hair down. I hate your shoulders. I hate your eyes. I hate your face. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

But she didn’t, not really, and Morgan hated that most of all.

“Don’t bother. I’m going out.”

“Morgan-”

She spun on her heel and stalked past the two of them to the window. The rope was in a pile on the floor. Morgan flipped open the window and tied it with an expert knot. “Attic. Top shelf. Under the pile of maps. I hope you choke on the mothballs.”

-=-

It took a while for Morgan Faire to get good and properly drunk, so she rarely tried. She was fourteen when she had her first drink of mushroom wine; it was fine. The drink had a nice after-tang. She didn’t realize you were supposed to feel something until a year later when the world of pubs opened to her and three glasses of the stuff had most skyfarers reeling. After a good amount of experimentation, Morgan found she could get buzzed after four glasses of wine, drunk after seven, and fucking sloshed after nine. It varied a bit, especially with whiskey, which was more expensive but worked faster with the high alcohol content.

Which was why she was full bottle of whisky into the evening and starting on the second. The world was starting to spin a bit, and she had to blink at the bartender when he asked for money. The downside of getting drunk was she couldn’t smile at him, wink, and charm him into another glass. She tossed down whatever she had in her pocket after the travel fare. The bartender shoved a few coins back towards her. At least she still looked presentable enough for that.

She poured herself another glass and tossed it back, trying to ignore the room spinning when she slapped the glass back on the counter.

She could still think that was the problem. She never- she never stopped thinking. Even when she was drunk, it quieted, but she could feel the itch of boredom surrounding her, even at the bar. When you looked sulky at a bar people ignored you, and if they ignored her, she couldn’t be distracted, and she was too drunk to go bother them into entertaining her. Morgan picked at the glass indentations on the whiskey bottle. They filled the label in with black paint in thick imprudent letters. Joyce’s Choice. Fuck you, Joyce.

Morgan poured herself another glass. The bartender was eyeing her at this point, probably wondering why she wasn’t fucking dead on the floor yet. If it was John-her-regular-bartender he wouldn’t be wondering, he’d just bring her another glass and drag her into the closet when she passed out and also make her clean in the morning to pay for everything. He was fair. John was great. This guy was less great, but at least he hadn’t kicked her out.

There were other bars, Morgan guessed, but she didn’t feel like walking. Actually, she might not be able to walk at this point. Or hold a conversation? Who knew. She didn’t feel like having one now. She downed another glass and shivered at the burn. She was starting to lose coherency now. Her hands were freezing while the rest of her body tried to process the massive amount of alcohol. The bottles on the shelf looked fuzzy. Everything was floating. Westlie- Westlie- Was she angry at Westlie? Why was she angry at her sister? Westlie was everything good in the world. Westlie- Morgan’s head dropped and she nearly faceplanted on the bar. She shook herself awake. Westlie-

“There you are.”

Westlie. She was too drunk to punch her sister in the face- which didn’t really make any sense but it seemed like the right thing to do. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth; couldn’t talk, couldn’t think. Good. That was the reason she got plastered in the first place. The room swirled and Morgan vomited a little in her mouth.

“You look like shit,” but the words were soft. Morgan yelped as someone slid her – as kindly as possible – off the stool and she drooped against the counter. “Let’s go home.”

“Don- Don’t want-”

Westlie looped one arm around her waist and slid Morgan’s arm over her shoulders. “We’re going home.” It was a command, but it was gentle and even Morgan couldn’t resist. She slumped into it as they made their way out of the pub and slowly down the street. The whole world spun, but it was mostly empty. One person passed; a man with a gold pocket watch and top hat. It was late. How late was late? Was late early? Why was Westlie up? How had she found her?

They stumbled down the streets. Morgan could feel Westlie’s exhaustion the longer they walked together. A little slip of the boot here, a little stagger when the world spun and Morgan had to droop on her. She hated it, a little. She didn’t ask to be dragged home. Westlie never slept at the best of times; now she was out at stars knew when, taking her home when she didn’t need-

Home... Home-?

They made it against the brick wall of the Faire house and Morgan drooped against it. The barrier she usually vaulted over seemed fucking insurmountable. “F-f’king stupid. I can’t climb.”

Westlie’s arms tightened gently around her waist. “We’ll take the stairs this time.”

No. No, no, no, no, no. Please, no. Something inside Morgan screamed and she jerked out of Westlie’s grasp as they made their way up the front walkway. She managed two steps on her own, stumbled, tripped, and staggered into the front porch where she slid to the ground. She shoved her back against the porch steps away from Westlie so she couldn’t drag her up the stairs. “N-no- No. No.”

“Morgan-”

She was too drunk to be angry. The emotions welled up in fat tears that nearly choked her. “Pl- please. Please, I can’t. Westlie, I can’t. Please-”

“Hey, hey,” Morgan couldn't face her but she knew the look. Westlie kneeled on the ground and Morgan felt her arms wrap around her. How long had it been? How- Why-? The tears came harder.

“Please, Westlie please.”

“I love you.” Westlie smoothed her hair back; she curled around her in a protective embrace and Morgan could feel the sobs come harder. “You’ll feel better after you sleep, I promise.”

“I- I don’t want to sleep- p-please- I’ll stay here. L-leave me here.”

“I can’t leave you here.” The whisper was gentle. “I care about you.”

“You don’t! You d-don’t- you don’t- You don’t c-care about me a-at all.”

“Morgan, that’s not true.” The voice was soft and concerned and Morgan wanted to trust it so hard her stomach ached. She choked on her tears. Westlie.

“You d-don’t care- you don’t- you don’t care I c-ome back,” the sniffles turned into heaving sobs and Morgan could barely get her tongue to work. “I don’t want to- to go home- I don’t- I hate it. I h-hate it, Westlie- You c-can’t replace me- Westlie, please- I need y-you don't replace me, please- Westlie, please-”

She was twenty and drunk on whiskey and still covered in coal dust from travelling; they were in the fucking gravel in the garden, her hair was a haystack, but Westlie dragged her onto her lap without hesitating. Morgan sobbed harder against her. The embrace was temporary. It was always temporary. They were so bad at this. But it felt good anyway. Westlie dug her fingers into her hair and wrapped herself around her like a shield. “I love you,” she whispered back. “I’m here, and I love you. I love you. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Maybe it was real, maybe it wasn't. Morgan gave herself up, and she cried.

-=-

When she woke up in her room, it was mid-morning without a hangover, boots off, a glass of water on the nightstand, staring at that motherfucking fleur-de-lis wallpaper.

#liztlie au #I'm not sorry.

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anystalker707 · 5 years ago

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Paintings and cuddles

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader Genre: Fluff/comfort Summary: Gerard and reader barely have time to spend together, but that doesn’t really prevent them from having dates in the middle of the night Word count: 1 876

Difficult. That's how it has been. I mean, not like most of the people expect to have an easy relationship with someone who they're barely able to see. While a great part of my work can be done either from my place or quickly, Gerard is so busy that we're rarely see each other. Of course we're always exchanging messages and occasionally meeting each other, but it's barely nothing considering sending messages are useless when it comes to wanting to kiss the other and when we see each other personally, it's not for long even if the times are relatively many. All of that induces us to being extremely needy when meeting up, not to mention the cheesy texts.

Lately, I'm starting to believe Gerard somehow affects on my creativity. A breathy chuckle leaves my lips as I gaze at the half done sketch over the white sheet; I just can't find how to complete it without making it worse or coming to nothing at all and whenever I try to think about a solution, my need of Gerard is everything ends up filling my mind.

It doesn't take me much to notice I've used all my daily creativity quota by now, so I let go of all my art materials, stretching myself with a groan before standing up. My eyes rest once again over the wide sheet of paper, expecting a random idea to show up in my mind - unfortunately, it never happens and I'm left frustrated as going to bed, rather early than usual. Maybe I'll have some kind of inspirational dream? Sure as hell I hope.

Well, perhaps there would have been any chances of getting an inspo dream if I was able to get some sleep in first place, but all I have been doing on my bed is rolling around for the past hours in long pauses between naps and Gerard thoughts. Immediately recognizing it's my escape from another long hour of staring at the darkness of my room, my hand flies to my phone at the moment it vibrates at the arrival of a new notification. Seeing it's a message from Gerard makes my heart flutter.

Gee❤⛓🌹🖤: Miss u

Me: Miss u too Can I come over?

Gee❤⛓🌹🖤: I was gonna complain it's almost midnight, but I want you too much

Chuckling to myself, I place the phone aside before getting up to my feet; I just bother changing my clothes - into others that are also comfortable, but don't look like they were incessantly used for a certain period of time five years ago - then grab my things to leave. It's not like his place is too far from mine, so a small jog towards there will do. As soon as I reach his place, the cold night air is pleasantly substituted by Gerard's warmth when he throws his arms around me.

"I'm considering kidnapping you and not letting you go for a whole week." I mutter through a chuckle, tightening my arms around him as much as I can, causing him to do the same.

"Sadly, my job would be compromised and I unfortunately need to work if I want to eat something or maintain everything I need." He replies in the same joking tone, placing kisses on my cheek right after. Finally we pull away, but it's just for time enough for me to lean in and lock our lips in a kiss that mixes neediness and relief. We pull away with a last peck placed over my lips before he looks at me with a bright smile, taking my hand in his. "C'mon, it's kinda cold out here." He mutters as pulling me with him, closing the door once we're inside.

"I'm not bothering you, right?" I ask him with a small smile as letting my shoes by the door. "I know I should've asked before and all-"

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head in certain disbelief - I know the exact thought that crosses his mind, don't you know me enough? "I would've let you know." Just one side of his mouth moves when he speaks - the exact way like it does whenever he's being sassy, sarcastic or impatient - while a hand rests over his hip.

"Yeah, but that I want you too much was a reason to get suspicious." Humming, I narrow my eyes at him in a playful manner, watching his defeated face. Muttering for me to come along once more, he takes my hand in his once again and just lets go of it when we're on the couch, so we're able to cuddle. "Being away from you for too long gives me art block." I start, suddenly remembering about today's earlier events while adjusting myself next to him, under the blankets. "I sat for six hours in front of a white sheet and all I could do was nothing."

"I can't say it's easy without you either." Gerard breathes a chuckle mixed with a whine, glancing at me before returning his attention to the TV, setting something for us to watch. "If I didn't see you today, I'd probably go crazy." He furrows his eyebrows while smiling lightly; I slowly shake my head at him, leaning my head against his shoulder. "I'm not joking!" A grin cracks his lips as he turns to look at me, letting the remote control on the other side of the couch. "I wasn't even able to sleep properly!"

"I know you're serious!" I laugh at his reaction. "The same happened to me. Good thing you decided to text me." Because I definitely wouldn't do it, afraid I would disturb him or something.

"Indeed." His sweet tone makes me internally melt, even more when he places his lips over mine once again. Ugh, he better kiss me a lot to make it up for the time he's away. He just pulls away enough to disconnect our lips, still gazing at me with a need that equals itself to mine. "A question." Gerard says rather hesitantly, now with his hazel eyes flickering over my face, hidden twice due to a couple of quick blinks; he continues after I hum questioningly. "Can I... paint you?" A red color makes itself present over his cheeks, intensifying once I smile.

"Can I?" I ask in return, excited about the idea. Honestly, it feels like all the creativity just flows back in my head after his request. In response, I earn from him a shy yes, to what I answer with "Then of course you can."

Seeming happier, Gerard pecks my lips once again before standing up and disappearing in the hall, leaving me watching the TV until he's back with his art supplies - all of them neatly organized inside a paint stained briefcase. He leaves again, to the kitchen this time, but returns quickly with a glass of water. There's a big grin over his face as he sits down next to me with the palette in hands. No words are exchanged to decide where he'll start painting - we simply look at each other and his eyes move briefly to my arm then meet mine with a raise of eyebrows, earning from me a light shrug in response as I move closer, extending my arm towards him.

"So," Gerard starts, dipping the paintbrush in the black paint; it touches my skin and makes me shiver at the cold pleasant sensation. "how was your week?" With the brush gaining a rhythm of taps against my skin, I quickly get used to it.

"Oh," I breathe out, taking a moment to think while half of my attention is still taken by the TV. "it was mostly boring, but had some nice moments." And I start a ramble about how my week was full of suffering for inspiration, boring talks with costumers and a nice art exposition I got the opportunity of going to, mentioning how he'd love it. He makes some comments now and then and it may sound stupid, but it makes me soft how he cares. By the time I finish talking, his job on my arm is done and dry. "That's beautiful!" I widen my eyes at the roses painted on my forearm, carefully moving my arm so I'm able to take a good look at it.

"I need to do my best, anyways, my canvas is you." His hazel eyes gaze at me from under his eyelashes as he cleans the paintbrush, shyly smiling. I scoff at it, silently asking for the supplies this time. He gives them to me and adjust his position on the couch so his arm can comfortably rest over my lap for me to paint it.

"What about you, hm?" I mix some of the paints on the palette until reaching the tone I've got in mind. "You were over to New York this week, right?" He's midway through his answer when the paintbrush touches his skin, making him flinch lightly and move away. That results in me chuckling while he mutters embarrassed apologies.

His week sounds far more interesting than mine and I don't hesitate in showing that, groaning about how boring my life is when he's done. "Of course not." He answers with a chuckle, pressing a kiss to my lips before finally admiring my work. I tried to do something similar to his drawings, copying all the goth punk style. Gerard playfully pulls on a judging face as scanning my painting, raising and lowering his arm to have different angles of it. "I guess it's good." His dramatic tone makes me roll my eyes, containing a grin that ends up cracking my lips when he admits finding it perfect and places a kiss on my cheek.

While the paint on Gerard's arm dries, we get immersed in another talk and, noticing my sleepy state, Gerard pulls me to lay with my head on his lap. Having him playing with my hair gets me to the edge of sleepiness and I'm able to hear him chuckling softly while caressing my cheek with his thumb. "Hey," He asks quietly, continuing once I hum in response. "can I paint your back?"

"Sounds awesome." I grin, thinking about how wonderful it may feel. As soon as I've got my top bare, I lay over his lap, facing down, with my head over a pillow and in a way my stomach is right over his lap so he can easily reach my whole back and I'm comfortable. Wow, fuck, having my back painted almost feels better than having a massage on it. He chuckles lightly at the pleased hum I release, making me smile.

It's simply amazing how he paints precisely, with a light hand and is extremely careful at what feels like the details. Even if the brush tickles lightly, it just happens when there isn't much paint on it, but feels extremely pleasant when he passes the brush over the skin after dipping it in paint once more. I wouldn't complain about having more nights like this. Soon, the moment's comfort pulls me at once to fall asleep.

#my chemical romance #mcr #mcr imagine #mcr x reader #gerard way #gerard x reader #x reader #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #emo #emocore #oneshot #writer #my post

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onewaywardwitch · 6 years ago

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Wedding Crashers

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to think your clumsiness would disappear for one night.

Word Count: 1656

Warnings: Language? Pure fluff

A/N: This summary sucks but I think I might finally be over my writer’s block? (!)

Tony was nothing if not thorough on a regular basis, and his wedding day was no exception. No one was surprised when he had given everyone strict instructions, including being polite to all his guests, a well-groomed appearance, and making sure Pepper’s mother didn’t get absolutely smashed as she tended to at social events.

But lucky you got your own set of rules.

“Just don’t break anything. Don’t cause a scene. And definitely don’t accidentally fire a gun,” Tony had explicitly stated, giving you a stern look while he made himself some breakfast.

“Okay, that only happened twice,” you defended.

He sighed, overloading his toast with an ungodly amount of butter, making you pull a face at the sight of it. “Look, the wedding is next week. Pepper has been pulling her hair out for more than two months now, and she really needs a stress-free week. So please, just don’t be yourself for the next seven days.”

You momentarily took pity on him. He was just as concerned with all the planning as Pepper was. And you were fully aware that you were the biggest risk to their perfect day. So, you promised you would be a well-behaved and perfectly presentable guest.

At least, that was your intention

~~~~~

“I'll take that, thank you very much,” you smirked, reaching across a slightly miffed Bucky and stealing the glass in his hand. Sam laughed at his expression while you just downed the contents of his glass.

“But that was mine,” he whined. “Go get your own alcohol. Or ask me to get you a drink too.”

You gaped at him. “I did! Nearly-,” you glanced at the non-existent watch on your wrist, “-twenty minutes ago. But the bartenders are refusing to serve me, thanks to Tony. He was very clear about me drinking. Apparently I'm a ‘messy drunk’. Not entirely sure why he thinks that.”

“Well, he has a point, sweetheart.”

Your playful bickering continued on, much to Sam’s amusement. It wasn’t anything new. Your incessant flirting had been the cause of everyone’s annoyance for months before Bucky finally asked you out, much to everyone’s relief. You nearly declined. You wanted to be the one who asked him out and it forever annoyed you that he got there before you, something he never resisted to tease you about. Contrary to the common belief, neither of you eased up on the teasing, but it was entertainment for all the other Avengers. Sam was thrilled when you both got together, not that he would ever admit it. He knew Bucky needed to get a life, and you were just the right level of ridiculousness for him. He was forever sending you coupons for a free couple’s massage, claiming ‘it’ll be good for your relationship!’

“God, Bucky will you pop the question already? You two already act like a married couple,” Sam laughed.

That one simple comment set off a number of events.

Firstly, you nearly coughed up a lung as you choked on your (Bucky’s) drink.

Secondly, Bucky knocked Sam over the head. With his metal arm. So, Sam naturally went flying off his chair with the force of the hit. Using his amazing Avenger level skills, he grabbed onto the tablecloth as some form of support, causing all the glassware and expensive cutlery to come crashing to the ground on top of him. Which, of course, drew everyone’s attention to your table.

You glanced at Bucky’s tomato-red face and did your best not to burst into laughter.

“I can help myself up, thanks,” Sam grumbled as he stood up, picking off a napkin from his shoulder, failing to notice all the stares he was getting from the disgruntled wedding guests. Tony was glaring right at you. You held up your hands innocently and discreetly pointed at Bucky who was trying to clean up some of the mess. He gave you a warning glance before turning back Pepper.

The rest of dinner went smoothly. You and Bucky didn’t discuss Sam’s comment. You thought it best if you didn’t. You knew you both acted like a married couple half the time, and after dating for a few years now, it seemed that’s the direction you were heading in, but you decided that the healthiest option would be to bottle it up and not talk about it.

You groaned as you watched Pepper walk onto the stage, hair framing her face perfectly, bouquet in hand. No, you weren’t a bitch for looking miserable, you knew exactly what was coming and did your best to block out Tony’s voice, no doubt calling all the single ladies to gather around.

They formed a terrifying crowd of desperate, lonely women, determined to get their perfectly manicured claws around Pepper’s bouquet. You stood far back from them all near the bar you were banned from with Wanda, leaning against one of the many marble statues scattered across the venue and laughing how it was a silly tradition that got people worked up for no reason. You noticed Bucky standing to the side, laughing at something Steve had said. He must have felt you staring and caught your eye, sending you a wink. You thought after years of dating you’d be used to his flirting, yet it never failed to turn your cheeks a bright pink shade.

You were so consumed in your conversation that you didn’t even notice Pepper throw the bouquet much harder than intended. It went flying over the crowd and everyone turned to watch it hit the back of your distracted head with great disappointment on their half.

You felt the thwap against your head and turned around, convinced Bucky had flung something to mess with you and see if you could get kicked out of the wedding. It was precisely three seconds after you picked up the beautifully wrapped flowers that you realised what they were and their significance.

You reacted exactly how a normal person would in such a situation; you screamed and dropped the bouquet. But it wasn’t just you looking at the flowers in horror. You glanced up and saw that your boyfriend had also shouted and was now pointing at the flowers on the ground, his mouth agape in shock.

You took several steps backwards, observing them as if they were a bomb. Or a spider. God, you hated spiders. You shook your head. Probably not the best time.

You were convinced you could feel the skin on the back of your necking burning off and surely enough, Tony was trying to murder you with pure willpower.

“Ok, this is clearly your new wife’s fault,” you accused, attempting to laugh it off awkwardly. “You honestly can’t have expected me to react in any other way. I’d consider this night to be a success with minimum disasters.”

~~~~~

“Well, this is far more comfortable than those ridiculous chairs they have inside. I mean, he’s a billionaire for goodness sake! You’d think he could afford some chairs with a bit of back support. We don’t all have the build of a super soldier with freakish bone strength!”

“Are you done?” Bucky deadpanned.

You couldn’t even be mad at Tony for kicking you out. You were just happy that you actually managed to last a few hours without causing a scene. You were now sitting on the curb outside the venue, nodding your head along to the faint beat of the music. Bucky followed you out shortly after Tony had you ‘escorted off the premises’, which was a phrase you were excited to hear, even if it was used against you.

He strolled over and sat beside you, throwing his suit jacket over your bare shoulders as he did so. You smirked, looking straight ahead.

“Is this supposed to earn you some brownie points?”

“What? ‘Course not, I'm just being a good boyfriend… did it?”

You laughed leaning your head against his very muscular arms. It was nice sitting there silently; not chaotic or overwhelming or boring. Simply… nice. Normal. Which was a rarity for you nowadays. Maybe you should thank Tony later for kicking you out.

You felt Bucky shuffling ever so slightly. The smallest of movements accompanied by a restless darting of his eyes to you and back again. You nudged him. “You good?”

He cleared his throat, obviously not thrilled or altogether comfortable with where the conversation was seemingly heading. “You didn’t really mean all that stuff did you? About marriage, I mean.” He looked away from you, staring back out at the empty road ahead while you kept your gaze focused on him.

“I… I'm not sure,” you replied. “I think I'd like to get married. Eventually. I just don’t want anything like this.” You gestured back towards party behind you, where you could now see Steve almost completely carrying an extraordinarily drunk mother-of-the-bride into a car, no doubt to drive her home on Pepper’s behalf. You both winced. It seemed you weren’t all able to keep every single one of your promises to Tony. “If we were to ever get married, I'd want it to be small. No expectations. No stress. Maybe Vegas! And we could just wear our pyjamas!” Your face lit up at the thought.

“We?” Bucky questioned, raising his eyebrow as he watched you blush once you realised your words.

“Yeah? Yeah- you're kinda the only person I'd ever want to marry.”

“Sweetheart, I'm blushing!”

“Oh shut up,” you laughed, shoving him off the curb.

He grinned, pushing the strands of hair that had fallen from his bun back behind his ears. “You realise there's a bench right behind us?”

“No!” you gasped, getting to your feet immediately. “The ground is freezing; I can’t feel either of my buttcheeks!”

Bucky smiled softly at you, watching you get cosy on the bench that you hadn’t even noticed, patting the small box in his trousers pocket and mentally thanking Sam for the idea.

Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@glitterypinkkitty

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ranposlittle · 5 years ago

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Hiya! If I could, may I have a bsd matchup please? I think it’ll be longish, so I’ll mark it with (⚜️) I’ll start with the obvious stuff. I’m a. heterosexual female, an INTP and 5w6. My Hogwarts house is Ravenclaw, but I’ve had people assume Slytherin before. Appearance wise, I’m 157cm, have short brown hair and blue eyes, I think I’m fairly pale too?

(⚜️) I really like history and physics (I study physics at university). I particularly like reading and analysing old writings about historical events and getting all viewpoints to paint a better picture. I’m also very fond of cats (they’re very cute). Reading and sleeping are things I do often if I’m not running errands, (it’s safe to say a lot of my activities are rather boring). I would like to do more exciting things, but think it would be weird for me to do them on my own (idk why?).

(⚜️) Personality wise, I’ve been told I’m intimidating at first (people often assume I dislike them) because I rarely talk, but it’s just because I really suck at conversation and ice breakers. I’m pretty self conscious and have trouble thinking of myself being involved with others. I’m kinda lazy too and find it hard to get motivated to do anything.

(⚜️) I struggle with illness, so I think I’d need to have a somewhat tolerant partner, though not so much that I continue to get worse (not that I expect them to ‘fix’ me or be responsible for my wellbeing). Anyway, those are my bad aspects. I am very good at understanding people and empathising with them. I can normally read people and get a good gist of their intentions pretty well (like a sixth sense I guess). I’m also fairly creative so it’s easy for me to find fixes to problems.

(⚜️) If I got attached to someone I’d probably be really clingy? Or at least talk to them about dumb things a lot. Though this also means that once I trust someone and know that they trust me I’m incredibly loyal and supportive (but not blindly). Sorry if this is a lot, I never know where to stop with these things? Thank you in advance!

I ship you with...

🌹 Oda Sakunosuke 🌹

There's practically nobody as understanding as Odasaku is. His tone and words are always gentle, honest and kind. A sense of comfort surrounds this man's presence so to be in a relationship with him would feel quite relaxing.

Despite being The Logician of the personality types, INTPs are known to be shy around unfamiliar faces. This might be why you may come off as intimidating to others but even so, Odasaku would be unfazed by this. He wouldn't mind sitting in silence if there's nothing to be talked about and wouldn't feel uncomfortable. If he notices that it's you who feels uneasy, then he would also be quick to come up with a topic of conversation. INTPs are logically precise and could easily tell the truth behind people's motives but can be quite weak in reading people's emotional complaints or hints. Odasaku functions the same way but he can be really sensitive in seeing and understanding what you might be feeling without you having to voice it out. Because of your intellectual talent as being also a Ravenclaw, you should be able to know that Odasaku is as genuine as one can be. He never hides any hidden intent behind his words nor his actions, making it easier to put your trust in him. It would also probably be not that hard for Odasaku to pick up the trail of crumbs you left him to let him know that you like him and since he can see that you're too shy to act on it, he wouldn't mind making the first move. He understands that the risk of rejection is never a pretty feeling so he would let you know the risk was never there.

INTPs pride themselves on their brilliant intellect and unrelenting logic, because of this, you might often have a book in hand. Whatever it is that you're reading, Odasaku would be peeking on it or would ask you what it is about. Even if history and physics isn't really his thing, he would still be interested to hear you talk about what you've read. He likes that he can learn all sorts of things from you since his schedule doesn't really allow him to spend a lot of time on things that wouldn't be useful for his current work, so he would love it that just by talking to you, his horizons widen. Communication wouldn't be a challenge to the two of you as you share the likeliness of being direct and honest with your speech, creating a mutual understanding to avoid common misunderstandings. INTPs are always full of ideas but usually don't get to venture out often but Odasaku would make a great adventure buddy for you. He will be encouraging and supporting of any exciting experiences you'd like to have and you'll just that feeling that everything will be fine as long as he is with you.

Overall, I think Odasaku is the right man for you because his endearing yet fierce personality would be something that could support your growth and comfort you from your troubles. Of course, he wouldn't try to fix you because he doesn't think there's anything to 'fix' in the first place. You're not just your illness and he will genuinely see you as the person you are beyond that. However, this doesn't mean that he will not reach out his help to you when you need it. Odasaku would not think twice about doing anything he can to make things better for you without being too much. He will let you stand on your own feet but he will be there to pick you up when you fall. The relationship, while being loving, would be simple and logical. No unfulfilled complicated emotional needs or desire for over the top romantic notions to worry about, you're both free to be yourselves whilst being a couple. Your loyalty to each other would be proven over time and whether it be by hugs or through the sparkles of your eyes whenever you tell him about something you're excited about, Odasaku would love that he's the one you're giving your love to. Most of all, if you're dreaming of living surrounded by feline friends, Odasaku would fit the picture perfectly. It would be like playing house but with cute little kittens instead of children. Although, of course, he'll be as loving to children as he is with cats if you decide to have any.

***

Hello there, anon~ here's your matchup! ❤️ I hope this was well worth the wait and thank you for being here! (｡˃ ᵕ ˂。)

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd hcs #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs scenarios #bsd headcanons #bsd matchup #bsd matchups #bungou stray dogs matchup #matchups #matchup #odasakumw #bsd odasaku #oda sakunosuke #odasaku sakunosuke #sakunosuke oda #bsd oda

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camillesfm · 5 years ago

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。· . ˙ ⌈ alva bratt + cis female + she / her + the intangible concept ⌋ yo , have you meet that KOOK , camille 'cj' petersen , yet ? — no ? well , to give you a little heads up before you do , they’re a TWENTY year old , PRE-LAW STUDENT , and have been living in coston for TWENTY . since i’ve known them , they’ve reminded me of PALE PINK POINTE SHOES , CHAINS MADE OF WHITE CLOVERS , A PURPLE SKY JUST BEFORE SUNRISE , STEADY WAVES CRASHING AT LOW TIDE , AND SHATTERED & SCATTERED GLASS . usually they’re quite LEVELHEADED & THOUGHTFUL but just make sure you keep an eye out for them around town because i heard can be quite RETICENT & ALOOF as well so here’s hoping they aren’t the ones to undo this whole peace pact they have going on this summer . but just between you & me , i kinda hope it all falls apart . the rivalry keeps this whole boring town interesting . –– this is cj . . . let’s just . . . dive into this mess !

𝐁 𝐀 𝐂 𝐊 𝐆 𝐑 𝐎 𝐔 𝐍 𝐃 .

scarlett petersen is a name known statewide, as she’s the best corporate lawyer on the east coast, clever as the devil and twice as pretty with long blonde hair often pinned into a sleek ponytail. david petersen got his degree at vanderbilt university, moving on to get his phd at unc chapel hill where he could never quite shake that carolina blue. he’s been sitting chancellor for the past six years in tandem with a long term sports-medicine, neuroscience research project that studies the long term affects of brain damage in athletes in contact sports. they both hail from old money families, and long lines of success are continued in two people who hold appearance and accomplishment far above humility or even . . . . humanity lol. they’re good people, really . . . just not really the parenting type.

which is unfortunate! as. well into their marriage, they had twins, caleb, first, and camille, ten minutes later. bright eyed and blonde haired, the perfect petersen babies were angels in their infancy, and it was easy to parent them . . . especially when they were paying someone else to do it.

caleb and camille grew up under the watchful eye of a rosy-cheeked nanny. think julie andrews as nanny in eloise. they were happy, but lonely, though you’d never guess it by their wide smiles in cuddled family portrait christmas cards. for all anyone else knew, scarlett and david were perfect parents, raising two beautiful children who they loved more than anything . . . but behind that iron gated entryway to a house on the coast was another story.

they liked their kids, sure, but whether or not they loved them was another question entirely. camille, growing up to be the spitting image of scarlett, was liked in the way a rare porcelain artifact was. she was a beautiful thing to behold; seen, not spoken to. shown off, not interacted with in anyway. held with delicate hands and passed around as a humble brag: look at this precious thing i’ve brought into the world. i bet mine’s better than yours.

but as time passed, the novelty of having children seemed to wear off, and they were moving to the next big thing, the next big step in their careers. they weren’t around when camille began going by cj because it was easier for little voices to say. they weren’t around when blonde ringlets relaxed and grew darker. they weren’t around when she started to develop a personality of her own, interests of her own, talents of her own. christmas cards would go out, but rarely were they all together on christmas morning. thanksgivings were often spent with grandparents, as their parents worked through the holiday. they spent more and more time away from coston, leaving cj and caleb in nanny’s capable hands.

but life goes on, and sometimes it was easy to forget that it was abnormal not to have your parents around. as a youngin, cj was interested in everything. she took a liking to soccer and lacrosse, painting and drawing, piano and guitar . . . but somewhere in between a blue mat and pale pink pointe shoes, she found her thing.

it was obvious, from an early age, that cj was one hell of a dancer. disciplined and precise when she needed to be. creative and passionate when it called for it. gymnastics trained her strength, ballet trained her patience, contemporary pushed her limits with creativity, partner work taught her teamwork. dance was very clearly her best thing and her favorite thing.

her parents only ever attended recitals when it didn’t conflict with anything else on their schedules and when it was classical ballet. dance was a frivolous thing for them, but for cj it was everything. being a naturally shy kid, naturally timid in the shadow of her last name, she became a completely different person on stage who dominated a spotlight . . . without even needed a literal spotlight. ultimately, this is what she spent her life doing. monday through thursday evenings, dance. competitions and performances on the weekends. if neither were happening, you’d catch her teaching classes at coston’s local studio.

it’s what truly made her happy, but that wasn’t something her parents understood. caleb and nanny did, sure, but her parents? not one bit. someone would ask what she wanted to be when she grew up, and if dance was mentioned, she’d be cut off mid-sentence. they didn’t want to hear about it because it wasn’t logical. you can’t make a career out of it. it didn’t help much that her brother was the ideal child in that realm, charming and on a path to success in the medical field. they still had questionable motives, but they favored nonetheless.

sometimes it was a blessing; sometimes it was a curse. when she could slip under the radar, she was grateful, but it seemed that her parents had a keen eye for her screwups. any chance they had, they’d use to scold her or nudge her away from the pointe shoes.

so cj spent a lot of time being pristine in the way that was expected of her, never letting anyone know too much about her, only keeping a few friends close enough to really know her. she stayed out of trouble, kept up exceptional grades, smiled and nodded when necessary, and began catering to the idea that she’d go to law school, a fate pre-determined by her mother no doubt.

nowadays, she attends brown university, pre-law. she’s a picturesque ivy league gal with a dark academia aesthetic when at school, but there’s a restlessness lingering under the surface. even she’s doing what her parents require of her, she never seems to live up to their unrealistic expectations. we rly do be . . . . waiting for her to have a complete breakdown . . . . aklsdfjha

𝐏 𝐄 𝐑 𝐒 𝐎 𝐍 𝐀 𝐋 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘 .

miss camille . . . better known around town as cj . . . is, above all else, the picture of serenity. she’s levelheaded and calm, and patient as all get out which is probably why she’s so damned accustomed to just going with what her parents thought of her. she’s really great to have in a crisis because very few things cause that steady nature of hers to crumble, and because she’s honestly. . . quietly very maternal. putting the needs of others before her own comes naturally.

she’s quiet and shy, yes, but just because she doesn’t speak doesn’t mean she doesn’t listen. she listens and sees and is . . . quite observant. there’s a way about her that notices the little things, which makes her quite thoughtful when it comes to the people she loves. if you’re lucky enough to be close to her, you can bet she quietly takes notes of little habits and favorites and carefully uses them to idk love ya better ya feel??

reticent comes from the fact that she doesn’t often let people get close to her. the way her parents treated her and caleb growing up has taken. .. . a toll for sure because honestly she’s terrified of disappointing people by shattering the mirror of perfection and revealing too much about herself that’s unexpected

aloof comes from the way she’s calm and quiet . . . and how that sometimes translates as apathy . . . on top of that she’s very daydreamy like she is That Bitch who is staring out of the window producing a whole move in her head which sometimes causes her to not hear when people are talking to her . . . cue the ‘hm? what?’ tuning back in

when i say cj is a different person when she’s dancing . . . . i mean it. like i REALLY mean it. she’s confident and expressive. her choreography tests the limits of tradition. she pushes boundaries when it comes to the physicality of performances. like u rly look at her being quiet and to herself in the corner at a country club event and then see her performing like she invented contemporary and ur like . .. . are u SURE that’s the same girl

people who know her most know her as warm. when she opens up, getting past the shy, she can be a little goofy, definitely has avery creative way about her, wants to know that you’re okay and if you’re not, how can she help ya know!!

has a black cat named lucky because ya know . . . black cats are bad luck . . . ha ha ha ha . . . get it

the ‘j’ in cj is for her middle name . . . but no one really knows what her middle name is . . . except family and close, close friends

absolutely hates the energy of the pogue/kook rivalry and thinks violence is most cERTAINLY not the way to go

often times found by the shoreline at night, just a little ways off from the petersen estate because she likes the way the waves sound as they roll in. it helps her think

is trying to make the best of law school by studying to become a defense attorney and she likes it! sort of! really, she just wants to dance for as long as she can and ultimately open up her own studio

definitely believes in wishing stars

bad case of insomnia

has a finsta dedicated to lucky

has a dance insta too . . . . but that’s lowkey bc her parents can’t know about it

please for the love of god watch this because charity and cj have the same energy

this also has cj energy

so does this . . . classical is fun when it’s telling a story and she loves a good pas de deaux but otherwise meh

my girl is physically . .. QUITE strong

says sorry WAY too often

incessant need to prove herself, prove her worth, since her parents never seem to find it

loves caleb sfm but will thump him in the forehead for mentioning he’s older

overachiever . . . . yikes

ABSOLUTELY burns the candle at both ends

idk if y’all watched high school musical the musical the series but gina . . . . . .. minus the ‘mean girl’ plot they tried . . .. is v cj and bitch i hate to say it but neville longbottom??? also a cj mood LMAO

OK THAT’S IT THAT’S ALL THERE WE GO IT’S DONE I’M DONE GBYYYYYE BABIIIIE

#coston.intro #what the f kinda NONSENSE did i just write lmao

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borisbubbles · 7 years ago

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EUROVISION 2018 #5 & #4

05. SWITZERLAND ZiBBZ - “Stones” 32nd place

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~*Wild Jokah On A Gole Froam*~

Yanking away the top NQ slot in this year’s ranking is, of course, everybody’s favourite Sibling alliance, ZiBZZ!!

As you know, I looooooooove mental health awareness songs, and I particularly love those with approaches that work (*cough* NOT “Goodbye” *cough*). While most of these songs are doused in motherly, cloddlesome tones, “Stones” doesn’t beat around the bush and argues that one must confront their fears HEAD-ON.

To transliterate the (ridic, amusing) lyrics into Common English:

“People have always been shitbags and have treated others like crap for aeons and there’s nothing I can do about it because people won’t fucking change.. SO fucking WHAT? Why would let those assholes affect my present and future the same way they’ve influenced my past? Fuck that noise. It’s time to let the inner demons rest, grow as a person AND help others get out of the deep end while doing so.”.

Holy fuck what an epic Truth BOMB, I can relate to all of that scalding hot tea. The best way to get around depression, anger and frustration *is* to 1) remove you from the toxic environment 2) find kindred spirits and support each other 3) find the courage to leave your past behind and build a future for yourself. Mental health is a BATTLEFIELD that HITS YOU with its best shots (did I just ref Pat Benatar twice? 🤭) while you’re struggling and “Stones” acklowedges this reality so hard. About fucking time someone lit the flares of ferocity to stand up against BULLYING and HATE. ALL HAIL COCO the ZiBB, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE UNDUN, MOTHER OF FLARES, KHALEESI OF THE DOWNTRODDEN, NON-THROWER OF STONES, BREAKER OF TABOOS, QUEEN OF THE HURT, TORMENTED AND BROWBEATEN.

Ain’t the only one who don’t wanna throw stooooooooooones

But of course, message alone isn’t enough to get such a high ranking, but fortunately ZiBBZ delivered musically as well. “Stones” has the perfect type of melody for Eurovision: catchy, repetitive and accessible, but never boring or tiresome because the arrangement was spot.fucking.on. The horns and tuba’s give the music so much gravitas, the backing AHEMs are excellent and CoCo’s five-packs-a-day type of gravelly voice adds so much realness to the song. "Stones” as a whole is jarring and complex and succeeds at elliciting the emotional response it aims for. This is my favourite song of the 42, by no small margin.

And then there’s the staging, which... I have mixed feelings about, not gonnal ie. It saddens me that even at this high a rank I must again resort to critique. I mean, the ACT was great. That motherfuckin’ flare is one of the few goosebump moments I got from this year, Coco is Minerva in a hipster body, Stee is a lovable goof, but... you have this amazing, dynamic song that is capable BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY and it kinda... doesn’t?

I would say that “Stones” was mostly hampered by its camerawork, which was mostly AWFUL. Which idiot [Hans Pancake 🙄] is responsible for framing such a powerful, uptempo song with slow, drawn-out shots?

I mean, shots such as this one:

(why didn’t they just focus on Stee??? or the audience?)

and that one:

(You can clearly see Coco throwing away a drumstick at the start of the preformance... Why the faraway shots?? Why no close-ups when she’s drumming happening???? NO ONE CARED ABOUT SANNA’S LIGHT CAGE SO WHY WOULD THEY START CARING NOW??? (seriously, fuck you Hans Culpepper))

This is the reason why “Stones” failed to ensnare the audience’s attention. Wrong people with the right to stage and ZiBBZ can’t do anything about it. I chose to not take it into account when I decided on their final ranking, but it’s sooooo frustrating to see Switzerland FINALLY strike the motherload and fall flat because of some moronic cinematographic decisions. Now watch Switz pick something mediocre and be overrated by the Basics/NQ once again (lol I say this without having listened to the Swiss songs, but can you blame me?). Oh well, ZiBBZ have since moved on to better things -

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- and so should we :). Still praying they pull a Poli in five years or so. THE WORLD NEEDS IT

04. SLOVENIA Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!” 22nd place

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Damn’ this is such a tough decision. Cutting entries loose at this point really hurts y’all.

So as you know, I really, REALLY fucking love Lea Sirk and even said that, in the unlikely event that she qualified, she’d WIN the ranking. However, while I am probably obliged by contract to grant her the first place, I can honestly say that... I like my top three more? Lea could have easily won this ranking, had my opinions on Elina, DoReDos and Ieva stayed the same; but they didn’t (they went up obvi), so here we are. The above paragraph is just a disclaimer to explain why Slovenia don’t rank higher than they do, because holy fuck this "Hvala, ne!” was awesoooooooooome. Anti-establishmentarian trap-pop that was a shock qualifier and made a flashy gimmick work TWICE <3 There’s a reason why the Good Gays Fanbase (do I include myself in that? hmmm 🤔) have nicknamed it “Hvala Slay!”.

But first, (-- Julie Chen-Moonves) let’s discuss the PHENOMENON that is Lea Sirk. My love for her predates this contest by several years, from the time when I only knew her as the botty cyborg sidekick to the heiress of the Ravenclaw Empire herself, Tinkara Kovac.

“KEN U BEE-LIEF ET???”

who happens to be *my* fave of Outstanding Eurovision Year 2014 (Yes, over Conchita, go cry) and is a contender for fave entry of the decade. The Summer of 2014 was a fantastic experience, partly thanks to Lea and I will forever cherish her for that reason. So when this beautiful dubstep fae was selected to rep Slovenia, now sporting a lilac killer braid, a trashbag jumpsuit and a cabal of slut-dropping dance devas of destruction... like *instantly* fanning my proverbial clit right there. It only got better during Lea’s pre-show content, proving her not only cool chick onstage, but off the stage as well. Having a teenage girl crush on Waylon <3 (Confessing this IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED BOTH WAYLON AND HER HUSBAND lmao bless <3). Impersonating Salvador on some Slovene version of the Soundmix Show <3 There’s no way Lea couldn’t deliver in Lisbon.

And “deliver” is underselling what Lea did, holy fucking hell that live was EVERYTHING. It’s hard to even name what the brightest shining star of their performance was, since Slovenia brought an entire fucking galaxy of them. I’d say the best thing was probably the choreography, which managed to be spellbinding, professional and hilarious all at once. Lea and her dancers-in-crime put on an amazing, electrifying show, aided by dynamic camerawork and lighting (Take note, Hans Pancake 🙄).

My personal fave thing about “Hvala ne!” however was that it QUALIFIED BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN AND WOULD HAVE UNDER ANY POINTS SYSTEM <345871 I love a deserving shock qualifier (see: Albania), but when it happens to a preshow fave of mine that I considered all but doomed (and a contender for last in the semi). . . There are no superlatives in my glossary that can describe the state of elation I felt when Lea was announced as a finalist. Netta might as well cede her trophy because the Eurogaes were the actual winners of this year 💗🧡💛💚💙💜 “Hvala, ne!” more like “HVALA motherfucking SLAYS HATERS” amirite???

Granted “Hvala, ne!” was the same in Lisbon as during the preshow, with only two marked exceptions. One was Lea had added a chorus in shabby Portuguese (”OBRIGADA NAO NAO!!!” <3) which was hilar, and the other was... the break!

Granted the semi break was kinda *blah* to me. “Zomg the music dies riiiiiiight before the bridge how coincidental”. Sure, Jan. Either way, I found it moderately funny, mostly because of the random extras that were clearly being paid by production to oversell it <3

But the best thing was that it WORKED and brought Lea to the finale where she performed a SECOND break and this one was downright epic. The audience actually sang along with her <3 <3 <3 <3 Two different instances of the same gimmick and making it work BOTH times <3 When will YOUR faves???

I suppose that, at the end of the day, “Hvala, ne!” was an experimental song that you either love or hate. Why anyone would ever hate this radiant nymph is beyond me, but whatever. My ranking, my rules, ya shallow fools. I *loved* this bizarre mix of K-Pop and Hip-Hop, sung in Slovene and Portuguese, (which is the most unique combination of languages ever featured in a Eurovision entry, I’m sure <3), with badass self-referential lyrics that SLAM DOWN musical conformity in a year that was all about rewarding it. In other words PRECISELY WHAT THIS CONTEST NEEDED. You know, there are plenty of countries out there that have never scored a top five in Eurovision and probably never will until they find their monster runaway winner (Lordi, Salvador). I *hope* the next one is from Slovenia. Raiven performing a song by Maraaya, with Lea and BQL as the back-up singers. Come on y’all, let’s make Eurovision Great Again. Hvala, slay, slay, slay, slay

RANKING SO FAR

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

#eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Eurovision 2018 #Switzerland #ZiBBZ #Stones #Slovenia #Lea Sirk #Hvala Ne!

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suchakidder · 7 years ago

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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein Characters: Jean Kirstein, Armin Arlert Additional Tags: Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Discussion of masturbation, the slightest bit of voyeurism but it's most unintentional? Series: Part 1 of Jearmin Week 2018 Summary:

Jearmin Week Day 1: Fantasy Titans are mostly eradicated, the ocean has been seen, and the Survey Corp finds themselves with free time for the first time in years. There's one activity Jean prefers to indulge in above the rest, but when it seems Armin doesn't get as much out of it as he does, a conversation must be had. Featuring penis insecurity, Jean learning more he ever wanted to know about his friends' sex lives, and no actual smut in the first chapter.

You can read it on ao3 but it’s also posted below the cut. It’s kinda long so I’d suggest ao3 BUT it’s all up to your preference

“Are you sure you’re alright Jean?” Armin asks for maybe the third or fourth time in the last half hour.

Jean’s not. The whole post-dinner walk to the beach had been for the express purpose of talking about what’s bothering him, but the closer he gets to asking the question he needs to ask, the less he wants to hear the answer.

“Armin, I have to ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” Armin says and when Jean doesn’t he frowns slightly. “Jean, you know you can ask, or tell, me anything, right?”

Jean takes a deep breath, steeling himself for any outcome. You only want the best for Armin, his happiness is most important.

“Is my dick too small for you?” Jean finally asks.

Armin wrenches his hand from Jean’s to turn and face him. He blinks several times, and then opens his mouth to reply but no words comes out. He closes it, then opens its, stops to think and the process repeats several times before finally, “What the hell Jean?”

---

The problem started on Jean’s birthday. Precisely it began the day his mother gave birth to a boy with a penis too small to please his lover, but for this particular instance the problem started on Jean’s seventeenth birthday when Armin’s present to him was the best blowjob in the world. That cum was the only thing to shoot from Jean's dick, not his soul or the remains of his dignity, was phenomenal. That Armin could smile and talk, his throat not wrecked from that amazing performance, was a goddamn miracle. Where it had all gone wrong was when Jean asked how to return the favor.

“I’m good.”

“But I can make you feel really good” Jean had countered, but his attempts at a seductive voice must have failed because Armin just laughed at him. Armin, naked and cum stained, laughed at him.

“Just enjoy your present,” He’d said and that should have been the end of that. Jean was man enough to admit his dick sucking techniques were probably good but nothing near that, but it wasn’t like they only ever traded blowjobs.

While Armin dozed, pillowed on Jean’s shoulder, he had done the math in his head. In the past three weeks, they’d had sex nine times and Armin had finished three times to the best of Jean’s recollection. Three times. A whopping two thirds of the time they had sex, Armin didn’t orgasm. Including that time last week when Armin topped; how could he not come from that? Sure that was only a three week sample of their nearly two year relationship, but if Jean had included the first few months, pre and post returning to Shingashina, the rate would probably be even lower.

It’s not that Jean didn’t try, Armin just seemed to hurry them along and he either fell asleep right after or got up to shower. Case in point, a few days later, Jean had tried to focus solely on Armin, kissing down his body slowly, before zeroing in on his cock, but Jean had been there only a minute or two, hadn’t even managed to fit all of Armin down his throat yet, when Armin took hold of Jean’s hand and moved it from his thigh to his backside where, holy shit, Armin had pre-lubed.

Jean had tried to go slow, find that perfect angle that drove Armin crazy and keep him there with long, full strokes, but Armin dug his heels into Jean’s back, and he pleaded and begged him to go faster and looked so good, a flush starting at his chest and moving up his neck and face, those big blue eyes blown, that Jean had complied. And when he tried to reach for Armin’s dick, Armin batted him away then dressed almost immediately, teasing Jean they’d be late for dinner.

Jean didn’t have any previous experience, they’d been each other’s first everything, but he did have the contents of his mother’s bedside table. He must have been seven or eight when he found her collection of erotic novels, and since that day they had been his favorite past time when both his parents were out of the house.

In those novels there were one of two reasons a man couldn’t please his woman. The first was his lack of oral skills, but Armin didn’t have those parts anway. And as for the second, how many times had the heroine laid under a man, usually her husband, as he worked her over with his small tool, while her thoughts were a million miles away on men with nearly double the length and girth.

Armin’s dick was only a few centimeters longer than Jean’s own, and pleased Jean perfectly well when he was bottoming, but he topped more often than not. He knew his penis was average sized; after five years of communal showers, he knew the size of most of his fellow teammates, flaccid at least, and knew he measured up to most, aside from Franz’s abnormally large physique. But, if Armin weren’t coming nearly as often as Jean, maybe he needed more?

Which led to here, ruining their weekly beach stroll. Jean should have let sleeping dogs lie, Armin wasn’t complaining after all, but the thought that Armin might be unhappy wouldn’t stop nagging him.

“Why would you think that?” Armin asks.

“You didn’t come last night.”

“Ok, I don’t have to every time-”

“Or Sunday night.”

“There have been plenty of times where I’ve come and you haven’t Jean, there’s no - “

“You’ve come three times out of the last ten times we’ve had sex.”

That finally gives Armin pause. His brow furrows as he thinks it over in his head. “That bad? It’s not that I haven’t noticed there’s this discrepancy but…”

Jean waits for him to finish, but Armin looks uneasy suddenly. He’s looking down at his clasped hands, not meeting Jean’s eye. The moment of truth is upon them, Jean only hopes the solution won’t be Armin leaving him for another man.

“I always thought you were just… a little over enthusiastic.”

Which is not the reaction Jean thought was coming at all. “Wait, you think I’m the one who comes an abnormal amount?”

“A few times a week is a little excessive, don’t you think?”

“A few times a week? Armin, we lived in the same dorms. After lights out you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting someone who was jerking off."

“Yeah, that was when we were twelve. I’m pretty sure our hormones have cooled off since then.”

“Armin, since we’ve had our base, I either have sex with you or jerk off almost every single day. Sometimes twice in one day. Sunday? I masturbated like 40 minutes after you blew me.”

“You’re joking.”

“I am not.” Sunday had been a little excessive and Jean honestly thought he didn’t even have any cum left after Armin’s birthday present, or the mindset to jack off once the doubts of his skills and size came into play, but once he started thinking of sex and of Armin and of Armin during sex, well, it really wasn’t too hard especially with an uninterrupted view of Armin’s back and ass.

“Jean, that’s just… don’t you ever get bored?

That just confirms everything Jean read in those novels. Armin must see his distressed face and is quick to try to correct it.

“Bored’s the wrong word Jean, I’m not bored with you or with sex, I’m just… I think a lot.” Armin looks pleadingly at him. “Well what are you thinking about?”

“During sex? I’m not. Or if I am its just what position to get into next. Once, just once I wondered if Sasha or Eren could hear.” He actually has that thought a lot, there have even been times he’s afraid the whole wing could hear them, but thats always a thought for before or after, or occasionally in the morning when he meets Eren’s gaze as they exit their rooms at the same time.

“What are you thinking about?”

Armin has the decency to look chagrined. “I take it supply chains isn’t the answer you’re looking for.”

“No it’s not.”

They face off against each other, quiet but for the waves breaking over the shore.

“Let’s go back to our room.” And if Armin is offereing to leave the beach, things must be bad.

---

They don’t talk the entire way back. Even when they’re fighting, which has been only a few times in their relationships, they usually keep talking to each other. It’s why they don’t really fight, Armin doesn’t ever let the subject die nor does he let Jean storm away, so by the time they finish talking it out, they forget why they were upset in the first place.

As if to keep up appearances, or maybe just to placate Jean, Armin takes his hand as soon as they start walking, he even lifts it to his mouth and gives him a brief kiss to his knuckles, followed by what Jean thinks is a supportive smile but it doesn’t do much to ease the dread curled up in his stomach.

As they pass through the yard in front of the compound, Connie waves them over to where he’s sitting with Mikasa and Sasha under one of the trees, with what looks like a card game between them. Sasha catches Connie’s hand and pulls it down, only confirming Jean’s suspicion that even holding hands, something looks off between him and Armin. He hasn’t looked over to Armin, but he knows his own expression is stormy, the criminal look Armin calls it.

Inside, once they turn the corner onto their hall, Eren is there talking with Levi. The pair is at Eren’s door, which comes before Jean and Armin’s, and as they pass Levi turns to say something but Jean ignores it. Armin stops, the motion pulling his hand free and if he answers, Jean’s already opening their door. He tries to shut it gently once he’s inside, or at least with the usual force it takes to close a door, but his hand slips and it slams.

Great, now even Eren and Levi will think he’s too dramatic. But too dramatic would be packing up his things right away, when he doesn’t think their fight is anywhere near that level. Though if it would be, Jean suddenly despairs at their choice of only one room. The vets wing only has seven bedrooms, if he and Armin break up they’d have to repurpose an office somewhere, or worse. Jean’s imaging his life back in the new recruits dorms at seventeen when the door opens and Armin quite literally jumps at him.

They hit the bed, Jean first and Armin landing with a bounce on top of him. Armin’s arms are around his neck, and Jean is worried maybe they’re physically fighting, but then Armin burrows into the crook of Jean’s neck and Jean realizes they’re hugging just horizontally.

“Jean, I love you, alright. And I love having sex with you. And I love all 16 centimeters of your penis. I don’t want you to think I’m not satisfied with you- with any part of you- just because I don’t come as often as you do.” Jean holds him tight, one hand cupping the back of his neck and he starts to stroke the soft hair there while Armin kisses the side of his neck. With no warning, Armin pulls his head up, dislodging Jean’s hand, and looks at him hard.

“Wait Jean, are you hard?”

“No!” Jean says, not defensively at all.

Armin spreads his legs so that they drop down to either side of Jean, giving him the leverage to grind down into Jean’s crotch.

“You are!” Armin yells triumphantly, sitting up, still straddling Jean’s hips.

“You’re grinding on me, I’m somewhat aroused, what of it?”

“You were totally turned on before.”

“Well, you were talking like -”

“Like what? I love you? That gets you off?” An evil grin spreads on his face when Armin realizes he’s on to something. “I love you!” Armin repeats it again and again until Jean has to reach up and cover his mouth

“Eren and Levi are right outside the door.”

Instead of using one of his hands to remove Jean’s, or biting him, Armin starts to stroke Jean’s palm with his tongue, then pokes it between Jean’s middle and ring finger, doing his best to suck his ring finger into his mouth.

“Now I’m really getting hard, is that what you want?”

Armin shrugs, then succeeds in his mission and sucks his finger in deep.

Jean yelps and pulls his hand free. “Armin be serious.”

Armin pushes his hair back from where its fallen all around his face. “I suppose you’re right. Though,” and he really grinds down into Jean’s dick here “this isn’t what you’d consider fully hard? You are only 16 centimeters after all.”

Jean shoves Armin off and he falls back to the bed laughing.

“That’s low Armin.”

Armin tries to respond, he keeps making the beginning of what should be apologies but he can’t get any word out around his snorting, laughing so hard he curls up on his side and clutches his stomach. Jean can only imagine what Levi and Eren must think is going on in here, and for both their sakes, hope they cleared the hall long ago.

“I was thinking you’d leave me for bigger guy, but I think I’ll have to leave you for someone who doesn’t laugh at my pain,” Jean says.

Armin, still laughing, crawls back on top of Jean and peppers his face with kisses. “Jean I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

Pinned down, the only escape Jean is to turn his head to the side, leaving Armin to kiss the side of his face . He should have never given him an opening though, because after sucking a kiss under Jean’s jaw, Armin sticks his tongue into Jean’s ear. Jean’s reaction, screaming and flailing, sends Armin off in another peal of laughter, and Jean really hopes Eren and Levi aren’t listening in.

“I’ll find me a nice guy who doesn’t stick his tongue in inappropriate places.”

“How boring,” Armin comments. He’s still on top of Jean, his weight a nice pressure against his, somehow, despite everything, still somewhat hard dick.

“You can’t break up with me anyway; we share a bedroom.”

“I could if I left you for Levi. Then I could share his bedroom with him.”

“That’s who you’re going with, out of all your other choices?”

“I need a mature man, who can really understand me.”

“I’ll be mature for you,” Armin says in a voice that neither sounds mature, nor does anything to alievate Jean’s erection.

“Was there something you were going to talk about or just tease me all night?”

Armin sighs, so put out. He climbs off Jean, and fixes his hair that has once again, gone tangled and messy around his face. Jean sits up too, and reaches out with his thumb to rub away the tears collecting in the corner of Armin’s right eye.

“I can’t believe I’m dating someone who finds my misery so amusing.” Jean says. Armin opens his mouth. “If you’re about to say you can’t believe you’re dating someone who’s only 16 centimeters, I swear I’ll go proposition Levi right now.”

“He wouldn’t want you anyway.”

“Wanna bet?”

“I want to now, just to see you try.”

Jean considers it. “He’d kill me.”

“I guess you’ll have to settle for me then.”

“If I absolutely have to. Can we get on with it?”

Arnim nods, and suddenly it’s tactician Armin sitting on the bed with him, not his silly boyfriend who’d been teasing him the last few minutes.

“Our problem is we have a limited frame of reference for sex. I.E. we only have our own experiences with each other and by ourselves. So we need an outside view.”

Jean had even considered that briefly, before he’d confronted Armin about their issues. He’d even go so far as to sit down next to Connie, before realizing the fatal flaw in his plan. That flaw being the most important factor in Jean’s life; Armin is his best friend, his closest friend, and as such the only person he would ever talk to about matters even far less personal than his sex life.

“I’m not talking to anyone about our sex life.”

“Oh come on Jean. It doesn’t have to be personal.”

“How is ‘Hey Connie, I can’t make Armin come from my adequately sized cock, do you have any tips?’ not personal?”

Armin breathes in deep through his nose. “I like your dick Jean. Its big. In fact, when you’re inside me I feel so full, like I couldn’t take even the smallest millimeter more. I-”

God damn it, his erection had just gone away.

“Alright, I get it but what, I tell Connie I can’t make you come because you think too much? That’s still too personal.”

“Are you being purposefully difficult?”

Which, ouch, stings a little when Armin had been the one derailing the conversation at every turn just a few minutes ago, but Armin sorta has a point.

“Fine, Armin, what do I say to Connie then?”

“Our problem is we’re just apparently different in what turns us on and how often. So just ask Connie his experiences. If every day is less, more, or on par with his habits. If ‘I love you’ would work to turn him on. Things like that. And Sasha too.”

“No way!” As a whole, he’s close with Connie, Sasha, Armin, Eren and and Mikasa in ways only people who experience life and death situations together can be, but as for personal relationships he hit it off with Armin and sorta stayed there. He’s closer to Connie and Sasha than Eren and Mikasa, and he and Sasha go practice at the range together to fairly often, but he can only see himself talking to Connie about this, and even just barely. To ask Sasha?

“Would you rather talk to Eren and Mikasa?”

“Not only would I rather eat sand until I suffocate, but I don’t know if I want Mikasa and Eren knowing about our sex life.” They’ve been mostly good about their relationship, but Jean still gets looks from Mikasa occasionally that tell him otherwise. This afternoon, walking back from the beach, he was pretty sure Mikasa was gearing up to take him down when they passed by, and only a small wave from Armin, a clear ‘stand down’ wave, stopped her. Even once they’d passed the rec area and into the base, Jean still felt her eyes on the back of his head.

“They know we’re having sex Jean. Everyone does. Eren has more proof than others.”

Not only was Eren their neighbor to the right, he’d also learned his lesson about entering without knocking pretty quickly.

“I know they know, but they don’t know know. I don’t want them having to hear about how I deflowered their childhood friend.”

“That’s such an antiquated idea; do you think Kaitlyn Wegmann deflowered Mikasa?”

“Kaitlyn Wegmann? The military police transfer? She and Mikasa are---”

“Yes, quite frequently.”

“How do you know this?”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

Jean had noticed Mikasa had a new friend. There were recruits and transfers from all over now that the Titans had been eradicated; even Jean had made a few new acquaintances. But he didn’t think Kaitlyn and Mikasa were that friendly. Mikasa’s room was only two down surely he would have noticed if--oh god, he suddenly remembers the time a few weeks he’d walked to the men’s restroom as the two were coming out of the women’s. But Jean had showered with the other guys all the time and he wasn’t sucking Eren’s or Connie’s dicks.

“Who else is hooking up?”

“Well…,” Armin lowers his eyes, conspiratorial. Jean leans in close, even though they’re in the privacy of their own room. “You do know about Historia and Ymir right?”

In a role reversal, Jean is the one tackling Armin to the bed this time. They land easier, it’s a much shorter distance to go from sitting on the bed to lying back than from standing at the foot of it, and Jean immediately gets to his knees so his hands are free to grab and poke at Armin’s stomach.

“I may not catch on to romance that well, but I’m not an idiot, Armin,” Jean says as Armin thrashes away from his tickling hands.

“I never-” and Armin breaks into laughter so hard he can’t talk “Jean please- ah ah ah - I never called you an idiot.”

“Well you definitely thought it.”

“Never.” Armin gasps. “Jean, I’m gonna pee myself if you keep this up.”

Jean relents, sitting back on his heels, still straddling Armin’s hips. The view is one he can never get tired of, Armin laid out underneath him, gazing up at him with that easy, thoughtless smile.

“So you’ll talk to Connie and Sasha then?” Armin asks, like anything in that conversation confirmed that.

“Have either of them had any secret hookups?”

“I’m not sure, but I at least have first hand evidence that Connie’s masturbated.” And at Jean’s disgusted face, “Come off it Jean, we shared a dorm. What were you saying earlier, a cat died every time someone masturbated?”

Which was not what Jean had said at all, but the fact remains. “That doesn’t mean I knew who was masturbating individually, I tried to tune that out.”

“I didn’t mean to listen, but come on. You had to be able to tell the difference between voices and sounds. I have an enclyopedia worth of knowledge on the individual habits of each of our fifty person dorm. I could - “

“Even me?”

That causes Armin to pause and he flushes, cheeks turning berry pink before he’s quick to recover. “You were a dormmate, were you not?”

Armin’s eyes track his movements as Jean places first his left, then his right hand to either side of the pillow. When Armin finally looks back up at him, his face is blank. If Jean didn’t know him well, he’d think Armin wasn’t affected, but this is his best friend after all.

“I was.”

“Well then, you were included in that list.”

“That’s it? Just one, completely insignificant noise in the middle of the night amongst all the others?” Jean lowers himself, their faces now only a few inches apart. Trapped and completely caught in his own admissions, Armin manages to still look aloof.

“Mhmm, that’s it.”

“So you watched me jerk off?”

“No!” Armin answers too fast.

“Tell me about it.”

“There’s nothing to tell. It was- I went to the bathroom one night and on my way back… You know it was always noisy at night. Guys were always snoring and coughing and shifting or adjusting themselves, and when I got close to your bed I heard something that made me look over and you were obviously touching yourself.”

Underneath him, Jean can feel the slightest shift as Armin moves his hips the tiniest bit. Armin’s chest is rising quicker and harder than any time in the night, tickling and laughter aside, and his pupils are wide, watching Jean closely. Insignificant his ass.

“That’s it? Come on, babe, I’m the injured party here, with some night creeper peeping on me. The least you can do is tell me what you saw.”

“Oh Jean, I couldn’t really see anything, it was dark and you were under the covers. You were half sitting,” Armin’s eyes close, as if he’s painting the picture in his mind. “Kinda leaned against the headboard and your legs were spread out, knees bent.”

Jean nods, he remembers many a night in the dorms spent bent over his cock, pumping furiously while visions, mostly of Mikasa, played out in his mind. Never more defined than just her presence, dark hair and eyes, thin red lips, some pressure and thrust. He only had his mom’s novels to go off, torrid love affairs, wets folds and quivering members. He had no idea what sex was like when it was with someone you wanted, with someone you loved.

“I moved closer because I could tell you were awake and I don’t know, maybe I was going to say something but then… I could see your right arm, your shoulder really, pumping up and down. Your other arm bent at the same angle so I thought you were probably… cupping your balls or the base of you dick... And you were, uh, moaning just a little. Yeah, a quick, low moan. And cursing, or… I couldn’t really here the words you were saying, but I think it was shit or fuck or…”

Again, Armin shifts, squirming under him but making no move to buck Jean off. Jean’s not resting any weight on Armin, but he lowers himself just a little, and yeah, Armin’s definitely turned on.

“And then?” Jean asks.

It takes a moment for Armin to reply, and when he does he’s back to aloof. As aloof as he can be with his pupils blown, his breathing shallow and the beginning of an erection forming.

“And then I went back to my bed and I never thought of it again.”

“Uh huh,”

“You don’t believe me?” Armin asks, and it’s too much for Jean not to lean down all the way, lips so close to Armin’s he can feel every exhale.

“You know what Armin?”

“What?”

“My bunk wasn’t between yours and the bathroom.” And then he finally closes the gap between them.

And as it would turn out, that night Jean’s sixteen centimeters are more than enough.

#jearmin #jearminweek2018 #thejearmincollective #jean kirschstein #armin arlert #i've had this ready to go since last week I'm so excited to finally post it

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