#i want that fake to be a PERFECT REPLICA and bad kills it anyway

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I miss the code eggs. I hope they reappear and start impersonating dapper once bbh loses his memory

[zuzu-hotman]

Ready To Love Pt.5 [[Zuko]]

Pairing: Zuko x Female!Reader

Warnings: Nonsenseeeee

A/N: Sooooo closeeee, and no im not sorry <3 links later

Pt.1,, Pt.4

“   “

At this very moment, Zuko didn’t want to be away from you. He didn’t want to go anywhere, not after finally getting you to talk- to finally open. He just wanted to be near you now, get close and comfortable, just like before but better. However, as of course, nothing really ever worked out in his favor. One moment he was hiding out with you and the next Katara was exploding on him over something he had not done.

Yet it did nothing to stop him from helping. He didn’t want her to hate him forever. Zuko was tired of being hated, especially over something he hadn’t done. He wanted nothing more than to just be accepted.

So he’d gone on a long trip, one he was sure would end violently but it didn’t. Katara got her closure, and they were now on their way back to everyone else. To you. The trip was pretty much silent but then oddly, Katara broke it. Shattering it to pieces with a question.

“So how long have you really known her?”

Zuko can feel his heart hammer away nervously, “Who?”

“___”, she says. Confidently, “Who else?”

He’s not sure how much you’ve told them, and they’re your friends first so he’s not sure what to say. “Didn’t she already tell you?”

“No. Not really. Whenever we mentioned this crazy firenation prince that was after us, she went quiet.”

His hammering heart then sank. How shameful it must have been to know him then during those times. A good friend turned sour, “Mhmm. Well it’s not my place to answer for her.”

He could feel Katara’s eyes on him, but he didn’t move to look back. Even though you were on speaking terms with him, it didn’t mean that you were going to tell everyone everything. It’s not like you had to anyway, so much of everything was very personal. You had told-

“That long huh?”

Zuko just remains silent. All his past regret suddenly coming out to drown him at sea. Yes, that long. Long enough to go from friends to nothing to whatever this was. Adoring you for the entire ride, even if he denied it to himself for some time. So many bad choices- where would he be now if he had stayed with you? Would you two be... something? Would-

“Lucky you. Anyone else would have left a long time ago. That’s  a lot to be put through, s-”

“I know. I know she should have left- but she didn’t, and I’m gonna do everything I can to make it a good choice for her.”, and he means it. He won’t make you regret it ever again, even if it kills him.

Katara is the one silent now, and he can’t see it but she’s smiling. He’d confirmed her suspicions. he was the boy you’d mentioned liking. The one that hurt you without meaning to at first and then betraying you altogether. She knew it was him but she needed proof, and he gave it. He gave it and he proved he’d be better. He’d do what was right- you clearly looked a bit happier than before..

No one had noticed you two had snuck off that night. No one knew what you’d spoken of or how you’d about cried. Zuko assumed you’d said everything you wanted to say, but you hadn’t. You couldn’t tell him the whole truth about your father yet or your feelings for him. Zuko already had much on his plate with his father, the last thing you needed to do was top it off with your father’s death. Yes, the Firelord had a hand in his death and your running away. Your Mother was spared only by banishment, and you were a wanted person. You wondered if Zuko saw the warrant on you.

The runaway Earth Bender, hidden within Fire Nation walls.

You hoped your mother could learn to cope- you know you hadn’t and probably wouldn’t.

You also hoped one day you could tell Zuko how you felt- even if it’s not what he felt. Why bother to hope?

Yet your heart still dared to beat harder the very moment you saw him return, suffocating the urge to run at him like you once used to.Things were so different now. You didn’t know what ground you stood on with him. What was he to you, and you to him?

What now? Now that he spoke all his regrets and truths- now that he admitted to having something with Mai? Real or not, it was a thing that happened. How could you be sure it was fake, why did you care? What did it matter when clearly, he was here. Although, it wasn’t just for you. He was teaching Aang all he knew. There was a war not too far off- life or death of thousands upon thousands of lives. Cultures and homes-people and families.

Why bother think-

“___”

You turned, looking straight into golden eyes. “Hm?”

“I- can we talk? Again? I just- it’s important. Really important.”

You’re not sure how to react- nervous? Scared? Nothing at all? “Okay.”

So this time he drags you off, his hand burning in yours. He holds your hand for a long while- even once he’s stopped in the middle of a grassy clearing. One that outlooks the vast ocean, waves crashing into rocks some ways off. The wind blows his hair to and fro. Creating a messy look, which unknown to you, was a perfect replica of how he felt inside.

“___, I.. well..”, he begins, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, the softest caress you’d ever felt. “I just... I’m sorry..”

“Sorry?”, you ask, staring his your hand in his.

“I hurt you so much and you should hate me- you should hate me as much as Uncle does! I’ve done worse to you and him- you both knew me and believed in me and I-”

“Zuko.”

“I never should have done that-I sh-”

“Zuko!”

“Should have done better by-”

“Zuko!”, you use your free hand to cover his mouth, effectively shutting him up. “Stop beating yourself up. I forgive you, and I know your Uncle will too. Look at where you are- look at the friends you’re making.”

He’s just quiet, listening to you intently. Hanging on every last syllable.

“You’re here with us- with me. You’re teaching the Avatar firebending. You’re out fighting this war- you’re on the right side of history. You have defied all odds. You’re doing good and you’re getting better okay? Don’t sell yourself short, Zuko.”

He nods, removing his hand from you to pull your other hand away from his mouth. He takes it in his and gives it a squeeze. He’s quiet as he lets your words linger in the breeze. They float around him and soothe him. He feels content and okay- he feels confident, and so he throws caution into this soothing breeze you’ve surrounded him in. It’s now or never. The war can be damned- all proper timing can be damned.

“___”, he says again, softer now. His words an even softer caress than his hand in yours.

“What now, Zuko?”, you respond, laughter beginning to bubble within you.

He just gives you a small smile. The tiniest grain of who he once was, so carefree and happy. “I...”, he starts, pulling your hand close to his heart, “...I think I love you..”

Pt.6

[avid-windex-consumer]

Heaven’s Trap | Chapter 1 | Birdcage

She doesn’t know how they got here, but she knows this place.

“Doc?” She hears Graham ask, but it’s distant now. Her skin is on fire, she’s burning up, her flesh is charred and she can feel it’s hands on her, it’s breath in her face, and the buzz of flies-

“Right.” She turns around, a painfully fake smile plastered on her face. “Let’s get a shift on. I know this place too well.”

She does. She knows how the walls move, how the rules work here. And she sees the portrait of Clara-she can remember now, the regeneration knocked a few things back into place-hanging on the wall, cracked and old.

4.5 billion years old.

It’s not real, she tells herself. It’s not real and you know it. Because there is no reason for the Time Lords to bring her back to this place.

She hopes. Because she doesn’t know if she can do it again.

“Where are we?” Yaz asks, and her throat clenches.

“Someone’s trying to get my attention, so they somehow built a replica of a place I’ve been before. I don’t know why, or how, so let’s figure it out, yeah?”

It’s overly simplified, she knows. They’re going to want more information, but the screen is on and it’s coming closer.

“There’s something coming for us. Follow me, we need to get to the other side of the castle.”

The four pick up their pace, following the Doctor blindly, filled with so much trust.

“Doctor? What’s going on? What’s coming for us?”

Yaz, always with the questions.

“I’ll explain when we’re safe. The rules here aren’t the same as they are out there.”

She glances to the nearest screen as they round the corner, and sees the portrait of Clara in its view. She narrows her eyes.

That was far too close.

It takes a while to get to the other side of the castle, but eventually they reach the dining room. And suddenly she’s-

Sitting there alone, the spoon drops while his heart does, and he stands up, narrowly escaping its clutches-

“Sit down. Eat. We don’t have much time.” She’s dropped the mask of whimsical happiness, and the companions seemed to have noticed this. It would be hard not to.

“Doc, what’s going on?” Graham questions her, looking around the castle.

“This place can’t be real. If the people who trapped me here originally were going to do it again, they wouldn’t pick somewhere that I know how to escape. This is meant to scare me.” The Doctor thinks out loud, pacing back and forth.

“What are we running from?” This time it’s Yaz speaking.

The Doctor slows down; stops pacing.

“There are rules here,” she begins, “It moves slowly, but it never stops. Wherever we go, whatever path we take, it will follow. Never faster, never slower, always coming. We’ll run. It will walk. We will rest. It will not.

“And I don’t mean to intimidate you, really, you’re my fam, I wouldn’t do that, but you need to know the stakes. I can get us out of here, but I need your trust.”

“You have it.” Ryan, who’s been oddly quiet up to this point, speaks up.

“The screens show where it is. It’ll come here slowly”-

-Always so slowly, never stopping. Why is he here? Why won’t it stop?

Wrong question-

“The only way to keep ahead of it is to keep moving. It takes almost exactly eighty-one minutes for it to go from one end of the castle to the next. That’s when you sleep, eat and plan. And if it manages to catch you, you have to make a confession-

-I’m scared of dying. I just realized that I’m actually scared of dying-

“-Something you’ve never told anyone before. That’s the only way to win here.

“On the other hand, this isn’t the real place, it can’t be the real place, so that means it might not want information. I don’t know if it’ll freeze up once you confess, so best to just avoid it entirely, yeah?”

The companions let her words hang over them, contemplating and listening and learning. That’s something she’s always loved about humans, they learn fast and can run pretty fast too.

-x-

They haven’t gone to sleep, it’s not time for them to, the Doctor knows that. But she also knows that as time goes on, their bodies will be begging for rest. The intervals-

-Click

Click

Click

Click

She’s counting down, she’s always counting down, but it’s been a long time since she did it outside her head-

-won’t be a long enough time for them to get proper sleep. And once the stop sleeping, they won’t be quick and death will be right around the corner.

This place wasn’t designed for humans; it was designed for her.

These companions have been in bad places, there’s no denying that, but compared to what Amy, Rose, Donna, Clara, and all the others faced…

They’re new, they haven’t seen those things yet.

And now they were in one of the most horrifying places she’s ever gone.

Not only that, but who knows if the rules are the same. What if it isn’t eighty-one minutes after all?

What if there’s no way to stop it, what if it’s faster, what if-

She has to stop. There’s no time to think about that. There are more present issues right now, like escape.

Last time she’d escaped it had taken 4.5 billion years.

Assuming there was Azbantium at all, she figures a few extra hands to cut down the time would help.

But 4.5 billion years…even cut down…she couldn’t ask that from them.

So she thinks of a plan.

-x-

-2 minutes

Click

Click

Click

Click-

She checks the screen, and she knows exactly where it is. She knows which hallway to take to avoid it.

“Okay team, fam, gang? Ah, work in progress. It’ll be here in a few minutes, so it’s best to get a head start now, yeah? Follow me.”

The team gets up wordlessly, all too trusting, and follow her down the corridor. They stare down through the glass to their right, overlooking the dining room. Below them, it wanders.

I’s right there. So close, through the glass. She’s seen this before, every time she came to the dining room on each loop.

And there’s buzzing, the flies, god, she hates them so much.

And its cloak, and its hands.

No, its claws-

-its claws on his face, burning her flesh

Charring him, holding him tight, and the flies-

Keep it together, she hisses to herself.

She knows where she needs to go, though she desperately doesn’t want to. Room 12. That’s her destination, in the end. Isn’t it always?

And who knows, maybe she won’t need to go there after all. Time will tell.

“Where are we going?” Yaz asks her.

“To the bottom floor of the next tower, there’s something I need to see.”

“Which is?” Ryan speaks up.

“How many skulls there are.”

-x-

It takes them a while to make it to the room they’re looking for, but she remembers it vividly. She dried off here after she fell-

He smashes the chair through the window

Glass shattering

The smell of salt

The density of the air

And he’s falling

Clara

Clara

He hits the water and-

No time to reminisce. It took them long enough to get here, and she’s counting the minutes down. 81...80…

Click.

Click.

Click.

“Alright then! You lot, stay put, I’ll be back in two minutes.” She strips her coat off, putting it in front of the fire.

“Oi! Where are you going?” Graham exclaims as she kicks off her boots and bends down to take off her socks.

“For a swim!” She says cheerfully, trying to distract them from the severity of the situation.

“A swim? Now?”

“Nothing like a good swim.”

And with that, she opens the door to see the water. She knew it would be there, but her heart drops.

She wanted to be wrong. Just once, about this place. Because if she’s wrong, it means she isn’t in the confession dial. Because she can’t be, right?

But every time she knows exactly where to go, what to do, how to win. She hasn’t been wrong once so far.

God, just please, once, let her be wrong.

-x-

She dives down, feels the familiar splash-

Can’t I just sleep?

Question one. What is this place?

Do I have to know everything?

How are you going to-

Clara, I can’t always-

Win?-

-She opens her eyes, and there are skulls everywhere.

Just like before.

Maybe she is back there, maybe she is-

No, no time to think like that.

She swims down, the water gets cooler as she gets lower, and the swim is painstakingly familiar.

She grabs a skull, and swims up, higher and higher and higher, till she reaches the surface.

-x-

After getting out of the water, she renters the room and strips off her blue shirt, leaving her just in her white undershirt and pants, setting the skull down for just a moment.

“Doctor!” Yaz shouts. “Why would you do that?”

“I needed to see something.” She sets herself down in front of the fire, hand on the skull.

“What did you need to see?”

“How many skulls there were in the water.” She answers simply, still shivering.

“Why?” Ryan asks.

“Because now I know a few things. See this?” She points to the skull, then her nose. “Not the same nose. But I do remember that nose, the nose on the skull. I’ve seen this skull before, no many, many times before.”

“Noses? Doc, what are you on about. What do you mean by knowing this skull?”

“What I’m saying is that this isn’t my skull.” The Doctor concludes.

“Well of course it’s not, you aren’t dead.” Graham says with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s ways of getting someone’s skull without ending them. Killing someone and ending them are two different things.” The Doctor says cryptically.

“You know who this skull belongs to?” Yaz cuts in.

“Oh, yeah. Definitely, there’s no mistaking it.”

“Who?”

The Doctor goes quiet for a moment, and then shakes her head. “Not important.”

“You said you’ve been here before…?” Ryan prompted.

“A long time ago, some people imprisoned me here to get me to confess. I escaped, course, but I was here…a long time. I originally thought this was a replica, but if it is a replica…then it’s perfect. Everything, perfect. But they don’t want answers! I don’t think so, anyway. They got all the answers they needed.”

“So why are we here?” Yaz asks, looking around the room.

“I don’t know…but I do know where to go next.”

“And that is?”

“The top of the tower during night. I need to see the stars.”

[nadziejastar]

NO FEAR: IsaLea is still subtly canon (ill take what I’ll get) and Skuld comes and they become a platonic trio. No Isa/Skuld or Lea/Skuld (writers could try to flip it on us). FEAR: Skuld eats up all the attention in the trio. Isa and Lea’s characterization gets reduced to one dimensional fanboys. Skuld paired up with Isa or Lea. We stick in forced pairing hell and there will be ship wars.

NIGHTMARE: The writers make Skuld and either Isa or Lea get married and have a kid. I don’t think push it THAT far. I dunno if they’ll truly go through with a romantic pairing. But I’m gonna lose hope and interest if they do. 

Sora: Kairi, I’ll keep you safe.

Kairi: Let me keep you safe.

Well, if you ask me, Lea and Isa were already reduced to one-dimensional fanboys in KH3. Lea was more of a one-dimensional fanboy for different characters, though. And in future games, he’ll probably continue to be portrayed that way. I’ve already lost interest. The only hope I have left is the sick humor I’ll get watching all the characters get destroyed. Lea and Kairi’s role in the final battle was supposed to be saving Isa from Xehanort’s control. But since that idea was thrown in the trash, they had no real reason to be there anymore. Thus, they became totally irrelevant to the plot. Roxas conveniently arrived just in time to take Lea’s place, while Xion arrived to take Kairi’s place.

Saïx: You’re the fire that feeds Sora’s anger.

Kairi: No… Sora’s in danger because of me…

Kairi wanted to prove herself during her training. She wanted to keep Sora and the others safe for a change. And she does! She becomes a real hero instead of a damsel-in-distress. Psyche! She actually regresses to be an even MORE useless damsel than ever before! 

Her new friend Axel doesn’t even react when she’s kidnapped. Kairi, who? Who cares about her? Roxas Stu and Xion Sue are here! Time for a big snuggly hug! But wait. Now there’s more Guardians of Light than necessary. Kairi is superfluous. How can we make her important? Well, I guess she can motivate Sora again? A-hyuk! How does her fight with Saïx go? Exactly like it did before she could wield a Keyblade, of course! She is simply the fire to fuel Sora’s anger…again.

Kairi: I’m training to become a Keyblade wielder like you. That’s right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures.

It’s okay. She still has a happy ending! While everyone else celebrates, she gets to imagine Sora is with her while crying to herself. Sure, everyone starts to worry as she’s hallucinating. But it’s okay. Sora will be back. 

Donald: Kairi, you were great!

Kairi: Oh?

Sora: You are different, Kairi, but I’m just glad you’re here!

Kairi: You and Riku never came home, so I came looking for you.

Any minute now. She’ll just wait right here for him to come back.

Lea: Ah, I’ll catch up with ya in no time flat.

Sora: What? You wanna be a Keyblade Master?

Lea: Yeah. I mean, I came here to learn how to wield one.

Lea wanted to prove himself as a Keyblade wielder as well. He put himself at risk using the D.T.D just to find Mickey. All so he could become a wielder and find Isa. He believes that inside people’s memories, he can live forever. He spends the whole game training with Kairi in preparation for the final battle. Yeah…Lea was a pretty cool character. 

Xigbar: Axel!

Lea: Axel? Please. The name’s Lea. Got it memorized?

Xigbar: You’re not supposed to be here!

Xigbar was right. Lea, you aren’t supposed to be here.

Axel: You kidding? Do you know how popular I am? I got loads of people rootin’ for me. Sorry, boss. No one axes Axel. Got it memorized?

That’s better.

Sora & Riku: YOU!?

Lea: Hey, thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, I was gonna come swooping in, Keyblade in hand! But I just couldn’t get mine to materialize. Must be in the snap of the wrist or something.

For some reason, Lea stopped caring about Isa, and his sole purpose in life became…Roxas…again. A character who he has…no ability to bring back, actually. Not even with his snazzy new Keyblade. So, what now? How can he still be useful?

Lea: You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel. Now, let’s find out what happens!

Few people realize that Lea—excuse me, AXEL— was breaking the fourth wall all the way back in KH3D. He knew exactly what would happen!And instead of braving the darkness, rescuing his friend, and becoming a hero…Axel gets benched. Literally. He gets to watch from the bleacher seats.

Lea: Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing? 

Well, whaddaya know? It turns out that getting his ass handed to him was just the magic spark Roxas Stu needed to magically arrive and save the day. Axel fanboys over Roxas Stu’s sheer awesomeness! Roxas Stu smiles at Axel with a cool expression. Roxas Stu is back, so Axel has served his purpose. He tells Axel that his five minutes are up now. It’s HIS turn.

Xemnas: Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.

Whoa, Xemnas can break the fourth wall, too? He sure called it ahead of time. But it’s okay. He is more than happy about it. He compliments Roxas Stu and Xion Sue for their amazing prowess with the Keyblade! Those two are old pros, unlike him, after all! A-hyuck!

Saïx: Do you know what happens to those who lose their true purpose? Inevitably, they destroy themselves.

This picture is a fairly decent representation of KH3′s Isa. He’s on his knees, alone, being looked down on by everyone. Lea is disgusted with him. He’s lost all sense of purpose…in the story, that is. If you think about Isa’s canon story, he and Lea try to rescue a girl that they barely know, and are not sure even exists. They become apprentices just for her, then get turned into Nobodies. They devote their lives to finding information about this girl, and they conspire to make Saïx Xemnas’ right-hand man. Saïx is so obsessed with this random girl, he drifts apart from Axel and becomes…a sociopath. Yep, that’s all folks. You were expecting a tragic backstory? Nope! There’s no intriguing human experiment plot! Just girl drama.

Maleficent: You see? It’s just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, now he values them far more than he does you. You’re better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him and come with me. I’ll help you find what you’re searching for…

Roxas Stu and Xion Sue observe with pity as Axel’s OLD best friend gets put in his place. As his NEW best friends, they are rewarded with brand-new DLC packs…starring them, of course. They were always special after all. The only Keyblade users in Days. But it wasn’t enough for them to simply steal Axel and Kairi’s first and only fight as wielders. Now they need MORE screen time so we can bask in their glory.

Axel: You let them reduce you to this?

Axel does break the fourth wall a lot in KH3. Well, he was actually doing it here, too. He’s not referring to Organization XIII when he asks this—he was talking about Square Enix and Disney. He’s asking Isa how he let himself get turned into such a pathetic character. And the answer is simple: Axel went off and made other friends. More POPULAR friends. So he got left in the dust. From a narrative standpoint, that’s exactly what happened.

Riku: Take care of her.

Somewhere along the way, Saïx became part-Xehanort. The implication in KH3 was that he willingly became a vessel, since he wasn’t being controlled like Terra was, and Lea was disgusted at how he let himself get reduced to his state. So, he basically sacrificed his humanity JUST to find this random girl. Totally believable actions from a complex and multi-dimensional character, right? Then he became obsessed with power…or something? Meanwhile, Axel makes other friends. Saïx gets jealous and becomes a giant asshole, and now he has to redeem himself by getting replicas for Lea’s NEW bestest friends. 

He then quietly fades away in the background, out of shame. It’s an utterly sad and pathetic story, really. One more fitting for a tragic villain than someone on the side of the good guys. I can’t decide which would be worse. Isa and Skuld actually getting together, and rewarding this horrible characterization…or Isa continuing to degrade himself for her while his feelings go unrequited. I remember how much I despised Riku’s character arc in KH1, and how pissed off I was during his ending scene. I was SO grateful that the future games stepped away from shit like this. But now, it’s back, I guess.

Roxas: You’re me, so you can feel what I felt.

Sora: No. Roxas, you’re you. We’re not the same. I wanted to tell you that. That you deserve as much as I do to be your own person.

Personally I doubt that Isa and Skuld will actually become a couple. I think Isa’s fate is to be the same as the Riku Replica. Naminé brainwashed him, and implanted false memories inside of him to make him think he was in love with her. He became obsessed with a phantom girl to the point where he wanted to kill his childhood friend, Sora. He finds out the truth about how their relationship was a fraud and never existed in the first place. Then he dies.

Then comes back! But…he sacrifices his only chance at having his own life. Like Isa, he did it “all for her”. In a narrative sense, he was sacrificed as a pawn in order to bring back Naminé. She needs the replica more (ie. is more popular) than him. And nobody needs him, since the REAL Riku is already around anyways. A faithful replica until the very end. Isa served the same purpose in KH3. His arc was sacrificed in order to concoct an excuse to bring Roxas and Xion back, and also to put the spotlight on Skuld from now on.

Riku Replica: So…it’s over. Hmph. Death doesn’t frighten me. Good riddance to a phony life. My heart was never real. I’m sure even what I’m feeling now is probably all fake.

Riku: What are you feeling?

Riku Replica: What happens when a fake dies—one like me? Where will my heart go? Does it disappear?

Riku: It’ll go somewhere. Maybe to the same place as mine.

Riku Replica: Tsk. A faithful replica until the very end. That’s…okay.

Riku Replica had a MUCH more dignified death in CoM. He rejected the fake memories he had. He resented the fact that he was a fake replica. He didn’t have to go to the Dark Realm or the afterlife. He was always a part of Riku. So ultimately, he went back to him. They had the same heart—they were the same person. I thought that was a fitting end, and his final words were quite compelling actually. KH3 plays up the fact that replicas are totally unique individuals, yet treats Riku Replica as being even more disposable than before. But it’s okay. He’s happy about it. A-hyuk!

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

[ghostbustermelanieking]

the managing of patient 309: crack!fic written by my friend who hates the x files

pretty much exactly what it says on the tin: this is a fic based off of a dream had by my friend who hates the x files. said dream was likely brought on by the four episodes i’ve made her watch around a year ago (squeeze, irresistible, pusher, and detour) and me never actually being able to shut up about the damn x files. yes, she really hates the show after seeing the badass fucking episodes listed above; however, this friend of mine is a saint, not only for listening to me talk about the x files even though she doesn’t give a shit, but also for drawing me hilarious fanart (she’s the artist of “go-fuck-yourself/well-should-we”) and for writing me this hilarious fic. it’s kind of amazing how well she gets the show after only four episodes. it’s probably because i never fucking shut up. i have a problem. anyway, go read this hilarity because it’s kinda epic. you can feel the bitterness.

The Managing of Patient 309

I found myself in a tacky nurse´s outfit. That´s the only way I can really start this situation off. It seemed like the exact replica of what Elle Driver wore in the hospital scene of Kill Bill (a great movie if you haven’t watched it already). Anyways, I was walking down a dimly lit hospital hallway with a tray of prescription pills. As I walked down the deathly quiet hallway my footsteps echoed, ¨clack, clack, clack.¨

 I stopped in front of a door labelled 309. I knocked once and entered without hearing a response. Inside there lay a curtain veiled bed with a nightstand and an IV drip. I pulled the curtain to reveal the patient sleeping in the bed. There… (you like that suspense? I bet you can guess who it is) lay a typically beat up Mulder. I set the tray down on the nightstand and gently shake him awake.

¨Scully…?¨ He mutters.

¨Nope. Just your nurse.¨

¨Where am I? Why do I feel like I got attacked by a Werebuffalo?¨

¨I don´t know anything about a Werebuffalo but I do know that you’re here because of blunt force trauma. Left you looking real nasty mister.¨

Mulder looks around the bleak hospital room in bewilderment. I make myself busy and prepare his dosage of pills.

¨Okay Mr. Looney Tunes, time to take your medicine. Would you like a glass of water?” I ask.

¨I want to know where my partner is. I need to leave right now!¨

¨Now, now, Puppers McAlienConspiracy, calm down and just take your pills. I think that would make everyone happy in this situation. Relax. Chill for once.¨

Mulder tries to get out of the bed but winces in pain.

¨I told you to stay in bed! You wanna die more than you have before?¨ I say exasperated.

Mulder sighs but looks at me with a determined glint in his eyes.

¨I’ll only take the pills once I know Scully is okay. Better yet if she were the one giving them to me,¨ He says.

I roll my eyes, ¨Scully is not qualified to do that. I’m your nurse, not her.¨

Mulder takes a deep breath and says, ¨Scully is perfectly qualified to give me my medicine. You know how smart she is?? Super smart. Although sometimes she doesn’t believe me when I tell her about the aliens and their cryptic companions even though it´s very obvious half the time and this dynamic is the driving force of the plot in the earlier seasons; nevertheless, she’s perfectly capable!! For all I know you might be trying to give me some alien drug that turns me into a puppy because that sounds like a perfect way to set up the plot for a lot of X-Files fics out there.¨

I stare blankly at Mulder.

¨Take the fucking drugs Mulder.¨

¨I refuse. Bring detective Scully.¨

¨No. Calm your needy ass for once in your life and just cooperate.¨

Mulder turns away from me and begins to try and take out his IV. I sigh and walk to the other side of the room and push a nearby intercom.

¨We need some restraining in here ASAP,¨ I say in monotone.

Soon enough very muscular male nurses burst into the room and restrain Mulder. He begins to shout and try and resist.

¨We could have avoided this Mulder. This story might have ended up where you take your pills, you go on an acid trip and dream about marrying Scully and capture all your jolly aliens and everyone is happy in the world. You might have even dreamed about holding hands with your precious Scully and eating ice cream in Bigfoot’s backyard. But noooo, you had to complicate things (sound familiar?)¨ I say.

I pick up a syringe and prepare to inject Mulder. The muscular male nurses are doing a great job at restraining him. Maybe Mulder is even happy he is being restrained by muscular male nurses. Maybe he planned this from the beginning. Maybe he imagines Scully as a handsome, muscular, male nurse. Who´s to say?

After I inject Mulder he is soon unconscious. I thank the male nurses and then travel to the Dean’s office to report what had happened.

I knock on the Dean’s door and enter. In front of me lay a large office with a giant painting of the Dean in between Mulder and Scully. Underneath the painting it says, Your happiness is mine. So please be happy and give each other lots of cuddles. In the center of the room was the Dean’s desk and behind it their ¨Big Boss Man¨ chair.

¨I´m here to report the incident in 309, Ms. Dean.¨

¨Ah, what did he do this time?” She asks.

¨He refused to take his medicine unless it was given to him by his precious Scully.¨ I subconsciously gag.

¨Of course. He loves her so much after all. No worries though, I have a plan for a good countermeasure.¨

¨You do Ma´am?¨ I ask.

¨Yes. Bring me Ms. Suckerpunch!¨

***Wooop Time Skip Yoooooop****

Once again I am walking down the hallway to room 309. I believe the Dean´s plan was very silly but I don’t get paid enough to care. Do I even get paid?? The Aliens are stealing my money. Actually it’s more likely the Bees. They are probably after anyone they can get after being featured in that one X-Files movie. Anyways, this time I am accompanied by none other than Ms. Suckerpunch.

¨You know what to do correct?¨ I ask her.

She smiles and nods.

When soon reach the room and enter. I walk over to Mulder and wake him up.

¨WATCH OUT YOUR EX VAMPIRE ONE NIGHT STAND TEAMED UP WITH THE BEES AND THEY’RE OUT TO GET YOUUU,¨ I shout.

Mulder awakes with a start. He frantically looks around the room and then sighs after he remembers where he is.

¨Good you’re awake. I have a surprise for you,¨ I say.

¨Ẅhat is it?¨ He asks with puppy eyes in a puppy tone (you know cause he´s actually a puppy in disguise apparently).

I motion to Ms. Suckerpunch. She waves and says, ¨It’s me Mulder.¨

Mulder starts tearing up because he’s a puppy and that means he is a baby dog, so naturally he starts crying at the sight of his special person.

¨Scully!¨ He shouts happily.

I shake my head. Ms. Suckerpunch is actually a person who the Dean hired in order to dress up as Scully and get Mulder to take his medicine. Apparently anyone with red hair and a pantsuit will do.

¨Will you take your medicine now Mulder?¨ I ask.

Mulder looks to the fake Scully and she nods.

¨Yes,¨ He replies.

I give Mulder the pills and a glass of water. He takes them and at long last takes his medicine.

¨I suppose that wasn’t so bad,¨ he says.

I smirk, ¨We´ll see.¨

Mulder gives me a puzzled look and then collapses. I shake my head. In actuality Mulder was right in the beginning and I was an alien trying to give him alien drugs. Too bad no one ever listens to Mulder. Poor Mulder.

THE END…Or is it??? Who know cause this show never dies.

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun/Taemin; skree; PG

when you’re a skeleton necromancer and you’re also easily swayed into bad ideas by the slightest amount of convincing

“Fine, fine,” Taemin grins. He lifts his hands again and hovers them carefully over the fossil that looks the cutest. “But only just to show you that it won’t work,” he adds.

ao3

“Hey, uh, quick question,” Jonghyun says. Taemin doesn’t glance up from his morning comics as he hums in reply. “How many, exactly, of these little reanimated skeleton creatures do you have wandering around your house?” Tiny little taps of bone on wood follow his sentence and Taemin does look up this time to see Jonghyun gently placing a skeleton lizard on the table next to his coffee. Taemin watches Elizabeth jump right back onto his hand and scuttle up his arm to rest on his shoulder. Jonghyun scrunches his nose at her and Taemin grins.

“Fifty-seven, I think,” he says. “Ish. I’m not too good with numbers.” He shrugs, reaching over to gently pick Elizabeth up and place her on his own shoulder. She nuzzles him with her nose and he gently gives the top of her skull a little kiss. “I can make them stop bothering you if you want,” he says, smothering his widening smile when Vani starts slithering up and around the back of Jonghyun’s chair.

“No, it’s… fine,” Jonghyun says. He turns to watch the little snakey skeleton when she pokes her head around his ear. “Just wondering how long it’ll take me to learn all of their names and shit,” he says. He holds his hand up and lets Vani wiggle her way on and around his wrist. Taemin smiles fondly as he watches.

“You will,” he says encouragingly. “I wouldn’t have agreed to be your physical study assignment if I thought you wouldn’t care about my little pals.” He’d never had one of those stuffy academic types from the university come to him and ask for his help in a class, but he’s already glad that Jonghyun did. Jonghyun is gentle and sweet and Taemin is happy to teach him about his little forest house of plants and skeletal necromancy. The sweet paycheck he’s getting from the school to let Jonghyun live with him for a few months doesn’t hurt either. Jonghyun hums a little noise of thanks, running the fingers of one hand gently over its spine.

“All reptiles?” he asks, looking back to Taemin curiously.

“Mmhmm,” Taemin hums. “Or, almost all. Some are birds.” He shrugs, gestures vaguely to the little perches he has dangling from his doorways. “And there’s an opossum somewhere but she’s usually hiding under the back porch because she’s shy. But yeah, reptiles are just easier for some reason.” He shrugs again, lifting a finger to boop Elizabeth’s nose away from his neck. One was enough for him to never want to try reanimating a mammal skeleton again. They’re complicated little shits.

“What about a dinosaur?” Jonghyun asks. Taemin snorts.

“Yeah, let me go out and find a pet-sized dinosaur skeleton just lying around in the woods behind the house,” he says sarcastically. “That’ll be super easy.” Jonghyun huffs, rolling his eyes.

“There’s a paleontology museum in the city,” he says. Taemin opens his mouth to reply, then closes it. Hmm.

~

“Honestly, this isn’t going to work,” Taemin mumbles as they walk through the wide hallways of the museum. This seemed like a good idea on the way here, but now that they’re actually here, he’s realizing what a not great idea it was.

“Have you tried before?” Jonghyun asks, glancing at him over his shoulder. He glances at his little brochure map of the place after and leads Taemin down a right turn into the smaller dinosaur exhibit. Taemin rubs his nose awkwardly.

“I mean, no,” he says. “But it’s harder when they’re older,” he says. “And what if dinosaurs were actually birds and not reptiles?” he asks. Science is advancing towards the former and he’s not so good with skeletons of the aviary variety.

“You have some birds, you can do them,” Jonghyun shrugs. He pauses to smile at a little diorama of herbivores before continuing on to wherever it is that he’s going. “And if you can't do it then you can’t do it.” He throws Taemin another little smile over his shoulder. “At least you’ll have tried,” he says. “There’s nothing wrong with trying.”

Taemin doesn’t know how some peppy, soft-spoken college kid he took on as an apprentice two days ago wound up being the one to encourage away his insecurities, but he can’t say that he doesn’t like the little boost of confidence that gave him. He likes that Jonghyun believes in him.

Still, as Jonghyun comes to a stop in front of a display of a little group of dinosaur skeletons, Taemin is highly doubtful that this is going to work. They look small and manageable enough; the plaque in front of them labels them as--

“Com--cosm--compson--Cops--I’m too fucking dyslexic for this shit,” Jonghyun mutters as he squints at the label. Taemin muffles a snort at that blatant complaint and shakes his head.

“I don’t think I can pronounce that either, if it makes you feel better,” he says. “Just call them cosmos.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” Jonghyun grins. He wiggles his knees so the rest of him wiggles as well. “Little space dinos.” He reaches over gently to boop one’s nose. “Anyway,” he says, stepping back and looking at Taemin expectantly. “Go ahead,” he says. Taemin puffs up his lips, staring down at the little skeleton. She looks cute, yeah, around chicken sized with a long wiggly tail. He lifts his hands, but hesitates, biting his lip.

“Jonghyun, I really don’t think this is going to work,” he sighs. “These might not even be real fossils,” he says. “A lot of museums just use, like, plaster replicas.” And he’s not good with birds, and they’re really old, and bigger than what he’s used to, and he doesn’t want to look like a loser in front of his new apprentice before the first week has even finished passing, and and and. He pouts, clenching his hands back into little fists.

“Yeah, well,” Jonghyun shrugs. “If it doesn’t work then we’ll know that it’s a fake fossil. Either way we’ll learn something new,” he says, and that is just… such a fucking genuinely interested university scholar thing to say that Taemin has to laugh softly. He can’t say no to that. He won’t deny Jonghyun in his pursuit of knowledge.

“Fine, fine,” he grins. He lifts his hands again and hovers them carefully over the fossil that looks the cutest. “But only just to show you that it won’t work,” he adds.

“Mmhmm,” Jonghyun hums. He leans up against the wall next to the display, eagerly watching Taemin’s hands. Taemin shakes his head fondly before he really starts to focus. At least when this doesn’t work, the next time he does it on an actual forest lizard or whatever will be extra amazing to Jonghyun.

He takes a deep breath, fumbles in his jacket for his little pin to prick his finger with, winces at the sight of blood like usual, touches it gently to the fossil’s skull, closes his eyes, and starts whispering the spell he wrote and tweaked and perfected years ago.

Magic grows inside of him, warms him up, feels familiarly sticky all in his veins, and then, all at once, to his extreme alarm, it all flows out and directly into the fossil.

The skeleton twitches, wiggles, and opens its jaw wide in a silent yawn.

Taemin blinks down at it, fucking astounded.

“Shit,” he whispers.

“Oh my god,” Jonghyun says. “You did it, Taem, that’s great!” He’s smiling wide, beaming, as he looks down at the little skeleton in wonder, but Taemin just feels regret and anxiety filling him up where just a second ago there was magic.

“What the fuck,” he says loudly, taking a step back. The dinosaur cocks her head and takes a step towards him, tail swishing pleasantly behind her. “This is not great, what the fuck,” he tells Jonghyun. He’s realizing all very suddenly that this was an awful, awful, terrible idea. “This is illegal, fuck,” he says. Jonghyun’s smile falters; with one hand, he gently holds the fossil in place.

“Small animal necromancy is legal with a license,” he says slowly, like Taemin needs to be reminded of the law he’s known his whole life. Taemin huffs, clenching his hands back to his chest so he doesn’t accidentally fuck anything else up.

“I meant stealing,” he snaps. “Stealing a fucking fossil from a museum is illegal.” Fuck, they are so fucked. Jonghyun just frowns, cocking his head in confusion.

“Who said anything about stealing?” he asks. “We weren’t gonna take her. Just make her dead again.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal but Taemin groans, putting his face in his hands.

“I don’t know how to make her dead again, Jonghyun,” he says. Jonghyun’s eyes widen; he looks back and forth between Taemin and the fossil quickly. Then he looks around the rest of the exhibit for anyone else that Taemin fucking hopes isn’t around.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to make her dead again,” he hisses. He leans close to say it as quietly as possible, but it still sounds way too loud in the silence of the room. Taemin shrugs his shoulders wildly, looking back down at the skeleton with despair.

“I’m not a murderer, I don’t know,” he whines. “I could never make myself learn how to kill something a second time.” He could never kill something, even if it was already dead in the first place.

“Oh my fucking god,” Jonghyun whispers. “You play with the forbidden laws of the sacred cycle of life and death on a regular basis but putting an undead pet down is too hardcore for you?” he asks.

“This was your idea, oh my god,” Taemin whispers back. The dinosaur scoots closer to him and nips playfully at his fingers with her rough teeth. Taemin grimaces, but lets her. “What the fuck do we do now?” he hisses at Jonghyun.

~

Cosmo hops over the kitchen counters, lopsided on her one leg but still happy to be able to explore. She peeps out the window, noses at the fruit basket, clickety-clacks her way on top of the microwave.

Taemin sits at the table, staring at his hands and contemplating what he’s done.

“I don’t believe it,” he says quietly. “Two days as my apprentice and you’ve already turned me into a criminal.” He taps his fingertips together, twists his wrists to look at the backs of his hands. Hands of sin. That’s what they are. He should be in the slammer.

“Oh, stop being so dramatic,” Jonghyun says. He walks to the microwave, picks Cosmo up, and cradles her in his arm, careful of the gaps in her tail where the museum put fake plaster bones to replace missing ones. “You’ve been a criminal for almost a decade,” he says. “Animal necromancy has only been legal for, like, two years.”

“PICKING--” Taemin starts loudly, looking up to throw Jonghyun a sharp glare. He cuts himself off and huffs lightly. He hates being loud. He shakes his head, then tries again, quieter this time. “Picking up a dead lizard off of the ground in the forest is different from smuggling a fucking ancient fossil out of a museum,” he says steadily. Very different. Extremely different. No one ever even came to visit him much before, when he just moved here out in the middle of the forest and was experimenting with his first little lizard skeleton friends. Now it’s common knowledge that there’s a recluse necromancer living in the woods and the missing skeleton will be all over the papers tomorrow, probably. He’s amazed that the police haven’t kicked down his door yet.

“Yeah, well,” Jonghyun mutters. He’s scritching the top of Cosmo’s skull gently as he speaks. “At least we learned you could do it,” he shrugs. Taemin sighs loudly, slouching back in his chair and staring at the ceiling. Fucking fuck.

“You are not writing about this in any of your essays,” he says. When he looks at Jonghyun again, his mouth is open, eyebrows furrowed in angry disbelief, but Taemin shakes his head. “I am not being arrested just so you can write about your little dinosaur bff,” he says. Jonghyun puffs all up and looks like he’s going to argue, but then sighs and deflates to lean against the wall.

“Fine,” he grumbles. Cosmo nuzzles his head, rubbing up against his cheek and mussing around his hair. Her long tail coils around his forearm and hand, the tip ending up in his palm so he can hold it. Despite his low mood Taemin finds himself smiling at the image.

“At least she’s cute,” he says.