#i was once daddy coded and now im never posting ever again coded

[gingerjolover]

okay let’s talk posting schedule because i fear without accountability i will just never post and i have become far too critical of my work since i stopped posting

how can we (i) come up with a posting schedule (that’s sustainable) that lets me post stuff and edit stuff that i’ve already done while also writing all of y’all’s thots, concepts, and whims?

any and all ideas will be considered !

[xo-dailypier-blog]

this is not a recap;

     hey cumguzzlers,

It has come to my attention that Lady X took it upon herself to rate the nether regions of the men of Santa Monica. Unfortunately her assessment was BIASED and hardly based on facts. So as a JOURNALIST, I have taken it upon myself to get to the TRUTH. Today will be a Top 9 list of the men in this town, and their BEDROOM PERFORMANCES.

I’m not revealing actual sizes, because I firmly believe that it’s all about the motion of the ocean. And if you think I’m giving a run down on every SCRUB in this town, you’re out of your mind! I WISH I could have made this a Top 10 but most of the guys on Lady X’s assessment, have already been exposed in the fuck hut tapes during Summer Crush, and honestly? Don’t even make the cut for the top 5. Like, we KNOW the #DemonDick is low-key worth the hype (BUT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM IT BECAUSE HELLO? IT RUINED TWO RELATIONSHIPS IN LIKE THE SPAN OF A DAY! AND IM SURE THE BUCK DOESNT STOP THERE!), and we GET IT, Adam has a massive ROD, and I’m sure (Power Top) Asher, his brother, isn’t that far off. Vic IS well endowed AND can make things EROTIC. And we all know about Jack, who is also well endowed but has, like, erectile dysfunction or whatever. Oh, and don’t forget Daddy Sorrentino is obvs a beast in the sheets, but I’ve been telling you guys that since, like, ever. And I’m honestly on a Jamie/Cunty Sabbatical atm, they’re going through a difficult time after Cunty cheated, so who really needs their dick-info broadcasted on top of all that, ya know? (Cunty deff comes in at an alleged 9 inches, which is bigger than Jamie, BUT he (Cunty) never uses his junk on Jamie because, like Asher, Jamie is a Power Top. (but you didn’t hear this from me). Look, if any guy is left off the list that you have interest in, like, just ask Phobe. I’m sure she’ll know.

But before we get started, Congratulations are in order! You guys voted on Hottie of the Moment, and we have a winner!

It’s none other than Miss Fraudi Zirconium herself (@heidistarks​) The queen of bargains has stormed onto the scene in her Wild Fable Couture and has CAPTIVATED the hearts of all Santa Monicans. In honor of her win, I am giving everyone a $25 gift card to Claire’s! If you go to their website and use offer code SharkThot, you too, can get the Heidi Look. When asked about her recent accomplishment she had this to say:

"It's about fucking time." - Fraudi Zirconium Stark, 2019

Congratulations, again Fraudi! You go girl, work that Forever 21 tracksuit, bitch!

NINE - ALEC CLARKE @alecxclarke​

One of the wangs in question that Lady X TOUCHED ON was Alec Clarke. She mentioned that Alec was more than likely LACKING in the his SOUTHERN MEAT DEPARTMENT. So obvs i had a BONE to pick with this assessment because Alec’s fan base is GETTING UP there with Jamie Carter’s so we have to know what he got in them jeans. Sadly ... while his junk is fine. His way around the bedroom is is abysmal, I honestly thought it was a PHALL-ACY but one girl who is one of his past flings, wrote to me after seeing Lady X’s post. She has asked to remain anonymous...

Hey DP (and Lady X),

I saw your post about Alec and you’re wrong about his size. He’s actually pretty girthy and lengthy or whatever. But he is honestly one of my worst encounters. We met on a dating app, that shall remain nameless. So fast forward to sexy time, and once we started making out it was a tragedy! No tongue, no passion. It was like kissing a mcfucking corpse! His lips were like, so dry, but, whatever, that’s not the problem. Once I started giving him a blow jay he just randomly burst into tears, and said he couldn’t do it anymore, and asked if I wanted to play fucking Yahtzee. I left and bought Listerine. I think you should look into if he is like this with all the girls, instead of his size. Bc that’s the real tea. Anyways, Love the Blog! Kisses!

Its always such a disappointment when this happens. OBVIOUSLY our HoneyBun Alec has some issues to work on. I know he has a Crazy life but I didn’t think things were this HARD for him.

Overall Rating: N/A

Favorite Position: Again, N/A. I could hardly find girls who’ve had sex with him ................. INCHresting. (Ok, that was the last one).

Downside: I mean, Hello? He breaks out in tears mid-coitus! He IS the downside!

Alec! Write into us with your side of the story! I prom (half a promise) that I won’t believe the rumors. Love ya, Honey Bun!

EIGHT - SKYLER DAVIS @skylerxdavis​

No idea where Lady X got the idea that he had the biggest LOVE MISSLE in town, but it is absolutely FALSE. And in fact, what I’ve heard about his performance in the bedzzzZzZzZzzzzzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzZzZzzzz ZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Overall Rating: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Favorite Position: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Downside: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

Alleged Body Count: zzZzZzZzZzZzZzzzzZzzzzZz

SEVEN - NOAH SINCLAIR @nhsinclair​

So next on the list is Noah Sinclair. This one will be brief, because it really threw me for a loop. So I’m sorry to report, that Noah has a Chode. I know. I’m actually crying while typing this but this is only the word on the street, so take it with a grain of salt.

“Darla” (fake name) wrote in to my blog to refute Lady X’s claims. She writes:

I’ve had half way sex with Noah one time and when he dropped his pants I literally laughed. Not to body shame or whatever, but I, like, couldn’t have sex with him because the condom didn’t fit. Sorry, didn’t have a Trojan Jr readily available? He’s good with his hands though.

So Noah has made the list in a sad and unfortunate entry. So ladies if you want Noah to DIP his NUGGET in YOUR sauce, you better make your move!

Maybe this is why he got that divorce. Ugh, poor Natasha. Let’s hope this is all a rumor, I would hate for it to be true.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (The hand thing is kind of important).

Favorite Position: Noah’s Nugget Number (No clue what this means, ask Diana or Natasha).

Downside: There is no downside if you, like myself, are privy to a good Nugget or two. #RanchPlease

MOVING ON!

SIX - LOGAN LANCASTER @loganlancaster​

Our next entry is none other than Long Dick Logan Lancaster. According to Lady X, Logan is average. Well I’m here to let you know that, thankfully, LDL lives up to his name (no nuggets here!). But you guys would have to get with him to truly find out how #blessed he is.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Alligator Fuckhouse, according to sources. (DON’T Google it, live in ignorance).

Downside: The only reason, ya boi has gotten 4 stars instead of 5 is because of the rumors surrounding his hygiene. As we know, there’s been a debate on the internet about washing your legs. And Logan, an able bodied man, doesn’t do that. Nor does he take showers the way that he should. Many girls who’ve been with him have complained of smelling the stinch of onions and mildew while ENGAGING with him. Others have complained of a SALTY taste while going down on him. Most of the girls he’s BANGED have all been in the junkyard of his Auto Shop or whatever so maybe it’s a fetish for them? That’s no excuse for bringing that nasty ass behavior to every other girl in Santa Monica.

Thankfully a bunch of you have been sending body wash to his shop, so maybe we can LanCAST the mustiness away (If this is true).

Logan, please write in, I need to know the truth. But other than that, the dick is BOMB! But make sure you don’t over-do it on B.J. part though, sodium intake is v important and you wouldn’t want to get hypertension suckling on his salty ass COCK.

FIVE - EMRE YOGIOH @emre--yavuz

Ok, so next on the list is Emre Yugoslavia (or whatever his name is). Ok so ... buckle in ladies.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Lion King (I’m serious, don’t Google these things).

Downside: Ok, so Emre is supposedly into bondage. Which totally makes sense since he’s like, repressed from childhood. The whole missing sister thing really took a toll on his psych, since he’s parents totes forgot about him. Now he YEARNS for control. So the word is that he’s basically Christian Grey but not a literal abuser. He’s into bondage, slapping, SPITTING, choking, flogging, and whips and chains EXCITE HIM. An S&M Daddy! Now the only reason this is in the Downside section is because it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some girls find it disturbing, and others are totes into it. I’m the latter! Sign me the FUCK up! Choke me with those strong REPRESSED hands.

I noticed he and Olivia have been friendly recently, let’s hope she knows that she’ll be walking side to side after a night with him (no, but like, because of the flogging, not the dick). Once he’s done with those spread sheets at his hoity-toity big boy job, spread sheets take on a whole new meaning once the dawn comes. You go Emre Yahooligan! #callme

FOUR - DEVIN FLORES @devinxflores

First of all, I just want to give a big thanks to all of you for letting me call him Devin TORRES for the past few MONTHS like a complete MORON! I really appreciate you guys letting me disgrace the future KING of Santa Monica in such a terrible way! No really, you guys are the best. I love my fans <3.

Anyways, it’s well known that Devin and his Alaskan Bull Worm have burrowed through the city. Both the men and women alike have survived the DF experience, with ZERO complaints .... well, except for one ...

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: The Charizard (ONCE again, don’t Google. Just know that it involves fire ... And we aint talking about lighting no candles (which he allegedly seems to enjoy, how romantic!)).

Downside: As we have witnessed, Devin is a complete and total klutz! He is always getting himself into a bullshit that is literally all his fault. Didn’t he glue something to his head a few weeks ago -- actually, you know what? That’s not important. What I was getting at is, the main complaint about DaddyDevinFLORES is that during SACX the klutz JUMPS OUT. He has been rumored to have smacked his head on the headboard whilst switching positions (causing him to go UNCONSCIOUS for SEVERAL HOURS, which completely RUINS the mood). One of his Encounters even claimed that during a Romantic Toast of Wine, he clinked the glass so hard it broke and and SHARDS of GLASS went into his hands, causing him to bleed INSTANTLY. What the fuck, Devin?

How could someone who can handle balls so well out on the soccer court, not be able to handle them in the bedroom without accidentally falling out of a window in the process?

Ladies and Gents, much like Emre, Devin will have you walking Side to Side, but if it happens you might be suffering from brain damage after falling in the shower whilst trying to have sex with him. Please seek professional help immediately.

THREE - BERNBERN<3 @carverberncrd

Coming in at Number 3 is none other than Heidi’s personal play thing! We’ve seen his bulge through his Under Armour spanks, so Of Course I had to do a little research to find out the Lipton on HIS heat-seeker. I’ve reached out to his past flings and came to a general consensus.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The women I interviewed all confirmed he is an excellent LAY, so once again, I was right. BernBern<3 outsold your favs.

Favorite Position: Doggystyle (obvi)

Downside: He’s a Taurus so while he will indeed fuck you into a state of paralysis, it’s only to reach his Hedonistic Quota for the evening. He probs won’t even remember your name once he’s done, let alone learn it in the first place. So don’t get attached<3.

His star sign also explains his relationship with Fraudi. Not only are they both so annoyingly stubborn, but Two tops can rarely make it in a relationship. Just ask Ash — never mind. (Omg, btw Idk WHY everyone keeps asking. YES, the rumors are true! BernBern<3 gets pegged, but only by Heidi, it’s actually a testament to his masculinity and how he’s reached the apex of it at this point. But this is all old tea. So I guess Julian isn’t the only #DemonDick in the Stark Fam, Surprise?). Anyways, I ship them, but they get on my fucking nerves! They can’t even admit their undying love for each other, which is so obvious. But this isn’t about #Berni (working ship name), BernBern<3 has a massive COCK (and heart) and it has landed itself on the Top of the list.

TWO - SINRIQUE @itsenriqueaguilar

This one came as a surprise to me because I have no idea who this is. But yalls asses do! So here we have Enrique Aguilar, coming in at number 2 because of the OUTPOUR of receipts on the TALLY WACK ATTACK that he PACKS.

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: You know, there wasn’t a general consensus, he’s a man FULL of surprises.

Downside: No, you don’t understand, there is literally no downside. Look, here is a letter from one of the women he’s slept with. For reasons, you will understand REAL soon, this person has been kept anonymous.

Dear DP,

It’s been approximately 1 year, two months, 9 days, 5 hours, and 46 seconds since I Locked Eyes with Enrique from across a crowded room. That night would go to be on of the most invigorating, tantalizing, and romantic experiences of my life. But when I woke up the following morning HE was gone. I long for the day I see him again. My heart Aches at the thought of him with another women. Giving her the same love that HE gave to ME. I need you to understand that I was a grade A student at my university (4.0). I had an paid internship at an elite institution that OWULD HAVE LED ME INTO A PROMISING CAREER! BUT AFTER THAT NIGHT I BECAME RAVENOUS. I NEEDED MORE. AND IT CONSUMED ME! EVENTUALLY I LOST MY INTERN BECAUSE I STOPPED SHOWING UP! I FLUNKED OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE. I SEARCHED YOU ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA BUT I COULDN’T FIND YOU! ENRIQUE I NEED YOU BACK IN MY LIFE! JUST FOR ONE MORE NIGHT! PEASE I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE! CALL ME AT [redacted]

Obviously Ivy, sent this in ... kidding (But honestly though? They did used to date, which ... yikes ... Good to know Daddy Rique has no standards, maybe we all have a chance. #shade #clapback #scalpt)

Anyways, I’ll have to keep an eye on this one, he seems to have a good head on his shoulders ... AND good head on his shoulders OKURRRRRR!!!

ONE - SEBASTIAN DELGADO @bashdelgado

That nerd that sat in the back of the classroom brainstorm his next nerdy ass invention with high-watered khakis, and orthopedic shoes in like, the ninth grade (because he was focused on Arch Support???????). That’s him, Sebastian Delgado. And Baby Daddy Bash has DITCHED the NERD LOOK and is now ready to SNATCH YOUR CAT BACK.

I’m sure everyone is just surprised as I am. But hey, they don’t call him “Bash” for nothing (except for the fact that it’s a shortened version of his name). He’s totes Bashing Puss with his MONSTROUS MEAT TRUNCHEON (and Buss?? Sebastian contact me about your sexuality).  

Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Favorite Position: Missionary, he’s a man of passion and likes to stare DEEP into your eyes. #swoon #romantic #westan

Downside: Well if you HATE Love and AFFECTION, this one is not the one for you. Not only does he have a GINORMOUS, UN-NUGGETED MEAT SEPTOR/LAP ROCKET/VAGINA MINER, which, by the way, last a LONG time, He is EXCELLENT BOYFRIEND Material! He’s caring, patient, kind, resourceful, loyal, and he is well on his way to becoming a multi-millionaire -- which is NOT the reason he is number one! Money is not the goal here ladies (and guys? Seriously Sebastian, I need to know what’s up).  

Sebastian is the complete package and he has ALL of the other guys in this town QUAKING!

So Stan A True Man. Stan .... Sebastian.

And that, my friends, ends the TRUE tea on the wangs in this town. This was fun while it lasted, but I have some COCKtails that need my attention (ok, maybe THAT was the last one).

xo, DP

[yoonia]

I continue to share my music taste with you. LANY - BRB/Kiss, So, Soo pretty, It was love, 13, Good Girls, Bad Bad Bad, ILYSB; Halsey - both albums (she is too awesome for this planet) my ultimate fav songs by her Young god, Hurricane, Gasoline original and Oscar's Remix, Now or never, Eyes closed and Sorry; G-Eazy - Him&I, No limit; J.Cole - De javu, For whom the bell tolls, A tale of 2 sitiez, Power trip; My play list is really huge.

Frank Ocean - Nikes, Close to you, White ferrari, Pink+White, Godspeed; I’m fan of The Weeknd ever since he was no name for everyone around and here my favorite old songs - D.D., Professional, Montreal, Outside, The Knowing,Next, Echoes of silence, Wicked games, In the mood, The town, Girls born in 90’s, Or nah, Lonely star, Nomands (Ricky Hill). It’s not all yet. And the pleasure is all mine. I love to share my fav songs with people I like. 💜🌸💜

Also I’m a huge fan of Drake and I’ll send only old his songs - Marvin’s room, Wu-Tang forever, Cameras/Good once go, Make me proud, practice, doing it wrong, Shot for me, under ground kings,too much, now&forever, own it,4422; The subways - Rock’n’Roll queen; Kehlani - everything is yours, too much, not used to it, gangsta; Jaylien - Hotel Costes; Nav - Up, Some way; Some k-hip hop Sik-K - FLY, XYZ, A lil bit, interlude 24 7 365, Henny;

PARTYNEXTDOOR - Nobody, High hopes, Don’t run, Nothing easy to please, Persian rugs, Colours 2 whole album as well as Seven days; The Neighborhood- Honest, A little death, Dangerous, Roll Call, Fawless, Leaving tonight, Baby came home, #icanteven(ft French Montana), No gray, Scary love, Void, Blue, Daddy issues, Ferrari, RIP 2 my youth, Jealousy (ft Casey Veggies), H8M4CH1NE (ft Danny Brown); Im still far from over. 💁🏼‍♀️🤗The neighborhood - TRSL, warm (ft Raury), West coast, 93 to infinity, say my name/cry me a river; Jesse Rutherford - Born to be blond, Barbie&Ken, I think we should stay in love, Bff; The 1975 - Love me, A change of a heart, If I believe you, Please be naked, Somebody else, Loving someone; The Dream - Code blue, Omni to genesis overture, Heir Jordan, Vertuous (ft Wiz Khalifa), Cardinal sin, Bury; Michale Bible - Feeling good; Blood orange - Choose; Almost done. 😊

Khalid - Therapy, Location, 8teen; The chainsmokers - It won’t kill ya, Wake up alone, My type; Post Malone - Cold, I fall apart, Patient, Feel, Hit this hard, Fuck, Never understand, Git wit u; Big Sean - Bigger than me, Inspire me, Moves, Halfway off the balcony, Jump our the window, Bounce back, Voices in my head/Stick to the plan, Blessings (ft Drake); k r’n’b - DEAN - Bonnie&Clyde, Pour up, Instagram, I love it, I’m not sorry.

Crush - Hug me, Beautiful, I fancy you; Mino - Body (몸); Miguel - Remember me, Simple things (ft Chris Brown), Sky walker, Coffee; Kendrick Lamar - DNA, Humble, All the stars, Pray for me (ft The Weeknd), X; Jorja Smith - I am; Black Atlas - My life; Reo Cragun - On my way, Prom Night, Peso, Night Crawler; Franck Ocean - Chanel; 6LACK - Ex calling, PRBLMS; Tory Lanez - Say it

And there are some musicians who made music on my mother language. Скриптонит (he is my fav by the way. And his vibes kinda remind me of Yoongi) - Притон, Танцуй сама (I recommend to listen to this two songs one after another), Вечеринка (both versions of this song from MV and from first album), Бумажки, Лям, Сука тащит нас на дно, Я не улыбаюсь, Ламбада (ft T-Fest), Капли вниз по бёдрам, Напомни, Точно не нужно новых, Ага,ну, Не забирай меня с пати, Оставь их, Outro (ft 104, Benz)

I’m not done with my fav from my country yet. 💜 There are some Скриптонит songs left - Стиль, Где твоя любовь (ft Major Lazer), Вчера ночью, Зеркала, Слюни, 1000, Время возвращаться, Животные, Пацан, Положение, Внатуре, Трата времени. Done with him. Another fav is from Скриптонит crew is 104, Truwer and Jillzay. 104 - Королева, 104 & Truwer - Изи, Мерседес, Я знаю какая ты; Jillzay - Мечта, Бар «2 лесбухи», Ниа.

This one reminds me of Namjoon. His voice is really deep and cozy. Jah Khalib - Can’t get you out of my head, Порваное платье, Лейла, Каблук, Тату на твоём теле, Созвездие ангела, Кружимся в танце, Любимец твоих дьяволов, Мамасита; T-Fest - Улети, Цвети, Красота, Мне лень, Молодость, Молись за себя, Outro; L’one. His vibes are definitely like Hoseoks. L’one - Мистер хайзенберг, Адреналин, Авиарежим, Хоккеисты, Мир не прост, Я вижу город из окна, Якутяночка. There are a few musicians left.

Thomas Mraz - Rolling Stoner, Ultraviolet; ЛСП - Монетка, Тело, Лабиринт отражений, Канкан, Ещё один день, Бэйби; Мот - Ливень, Раз,два,три,шесть..., Капкан, Талисман, Понедельник-Вторник, Бенджамин, 24-7, Барон Мюнхгаузен, Когда исчезнет слово, Санторини; Егор Крид (this one is alike with Justin Bieber and JK) - Что они знают, Интро, Не могу, Потрачу, Засыпай, Самба белого мотылька, Берегу, Это все моё; That’s all I think. Hope you’re gonna like it. 💜🌸💜

Holy smokes!! This was such a ride! Thank you so much for blessing me with such an amazing list of music, my love! I’m gonna be making a whole separate playlist for this only. Half of these are the ones I enjoy a lot so I know we have a lot of similar taste in music. But I’m more interested in listening to the ones from your country because I know for sure I haven’t listened to them yet^^

Thank you again for sharing me these gems! I love it so much!

[mittensmorgul]

5.16: *cue horrifying yet somehow disturbingly humorous montage of all of Sam and Dean’s deaths to this point* *shakes fist at 3.11 and 4.08*

Yep, this is another one of those episodes I have really already covered, and recently, in multiple posts on s12... *waves hello at Dabb again* *gee I wonder why this episode has had so much relevance in s12? we may never know >.>*

Heaven, the Samulet, Joshua, the incredibly squicky idea that John and Mary were “soul mates” based on the gross cupid touch making them into the “perfect couple” because they weren’t “perfect” until after Mary was dead, Dean and Sam’s VASTLY DIFFERENT notions of “happy memories” and the fact their heavens are sort of each other’s version of hell (i.e. Sam and Dean are not soul mates, they are absolutely repulsed by each other’s heavens), the fact that Heaven is a construct that we apply our own personalities and experiences to in order to perceive it:

*again under a cut, because wtf is wrong with me, I keep saying “I have already talked this into the ground” about every episode, but apparently I’m trying to talk it straight through to the other side of the planet. I suspect I’ll be bobbing up in the Indian Ocean any minute now*

This is why, once Dean “broke out of his heaven” and set out on the Axis Mundi to find Sam’s heaven, it didn’t look like a pristine white corridor the way Heaven seems to look to the angels (or just in s10 and later, or whatever).

Castiel: Some people see a tunnel or a river. What do you see? Dean: Nothing. My dash. I’m in my car. I’m on a road. Castiel: Alright. A road. For you it’s a road. Follow it, Dean. You’ll find Sam. Follow the road.

Because we were seeing Heaven from Dean’s perspective here, we also saw the road. But he had Cas to give him the secret hack on how to get out of his heaven to find Sam’s heaven.

Ash later underscores this, and strangely 10.17 proves him out. We saw “Bobby Singer” land (like Ash described “Winchester Land” as a section of heaven. We saw ALL the Bobby Singers grouped together in one long corridor. Not ONE BIG HEAVEN COMPARTMENT. All those Bobby’s were NOT soul mates.

Okay? Okay.

I think I’ve seriously talked plenty about this episode. Have my tag for it if you’re interested in the metaphysical nitty-gritty of it, 

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn%205.16

or my tag for Heaven stuff (and all the other realms) heaven hell purgatory and the empty

Dean actually didn’t wake up when someone sneaked right up to his bed and stole his gun out from under his pillow? Incredible. But hey, at least he woke up quick and figured out what was going on before Roy and Walt shot him and Sam...

Seriously one of my favorite Dean lines in the entire series, because Roy and Walt think it’s bravado, but Dean 100% ain’t kidding here:

Roy: Killin’ Sam was right but Dean... Walt: He made us and we just snuffed his brother, you idiot. You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean Winchester’s on your ass, ‘cause I don’t. Shoot 'im. Dean: Go ahead, Roy, do it. But I’m going to warn you, when I come back I’m going to be pissed. C’mon! Let’s get this show on the road.

Just like Charlie thought she was “dreaming” in 9.04 when she was dead in and heaven, Dean thinks he’s dreaming here now...

Until something “breaks through” his dream in a traumatic way, trying to get his attention and alerting him to the fact that no, he is definitely not dreaming. Cas “disrupts” Dean’s memory with a reminder of his own death and then tries to communicate with him on the radio.

Dean: I’m dead. Cas: Condolences.

and then when he realizes:

DEAN: Heaven? How did I get to heaven? CASTIEL: (on radio) Please, listen. This spell, this connection, it’s difficult to maintain. DEAN: Wait. If I’m in heaven, then where’s Sam?

NOT because he assumed Sam would be in his personal heaven with him, because HE WAS TERRIFIED THAT SAM DIDN’T GO TO HEAVEN AT ALL. I mean, just two episodes ago he was detoxing Sam off the demon blood again and watching Sam control demons enough to kill the Horseman Famine. I mean... >.>

(Dean was terrified that Sam was actually in Hell here, not wibbly over Sam not being WITH HIM)

Meanwhile Sam is experiencing Awkward Thanksgiving with Complete Strangers, and has no idea he’s dead or in heaven, because Cas wasn’t able to connect to Sam the way he did to Dean to pass that info along... hmmmm

Dean was then able to “Call” Cas through the tv, but as the transcript describes the connection:

“Dean and Sam move over to the TV. They can see Castiel but the picture rolls and is filled with static. His voice fades in and out and is sometimes distorted.”

He heard Dean “praying” to him, but his connection isn’t as solid as it was in Dean’s actual Heaven.

I’m not actually making any real s12 meta points here, just riffing on all the destiel-y bits because it’s late and the rewatch is actually cutting into my nightly writing time now... I should probably try to stay on point and just get to the point here...

Cas thinks he’s got a couple of “Inside Men” who can get information for him that can only be obtained in heaven... which heck sounds an awful lot like 10.17, called Inside Man... I wonder why... Oh, right, it was also written by Andrew Dabb. What a coincidence.

CASTIEL: (on TV) It’s called the Axis Mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt. The road will lead you to the Garden. You’ll find Joshua there. And Joshua… can take us to God. (The pictures starts to break up badly.) The Garden. Quick. Hurry.

The Road, that Dean drove on to reach Sam’s heaven. It’s ENTIRELY METAPHORICAL, because Heaven is a construct. And Zachariah is officially messing with Sam and Dean.

SAM: Dean. What are you doing? DEAN: Looking for a road. SAM: You… (Dean opens the closet under the stairs) You think the road is in a closet? DEAN: (turns on the light) We’re in heaven, Sam, okay? I mean, our memories are coming true. Cas is on TV. Finding a road in a closet would be pretty much the most (he sees something on the floor) normal thing to happen to us today.

(Dean finds the road in the closet)

And we’ve talked this scene to death recently as well, now that Mary’s back.

Sam is FREAKING MISERABLE watching Dean and Mary interact as if he didn’t even exist, Mary cutting the crusts off his sandwich and giving him pie, but even one of Dean’s “greatest hits” memories includes the fact that Mary and John were fighting, because he got to care for Mary and tell her she was loved, that he loved her.

And that’s it, the only time in canon Dean has ever said “I love you” to anyone.

SAM: I just never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.

And speaking of messes that Dean had to clean up, Sam finds the next “road,” on a post card.

Sam is GIDDY to find his dog from when he ran away, and DEAN IS FREAKING MISERABLE.

*HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT DEAN IS STILL HIDING JUST HOW AWFUL THINGS WERE FOR HIM WHEN “DAD CAME HOME” AND FOUND SAM GONE HERE*

Dean walks out the door of the trailer, while they are STILL IN SAM’S HEAVEN, because they haven’t yet found another “road,” and walks straight into what Dean considers one of the worst nights of his life, and Sam considers one of the best...

SAM: Dean, I’m sorry. I just, uh… DEAN: I know. You didn’t, you didn’t think of it like that. SAM: Dean! DEAN: C’mon! Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving. Okay. It’s bailing on your family. What do you want me to say? SAM: Man, I never got the crusts cut off my PB & J. I just don’t look at family the way you do.

And then we see how Ash hacked heaven. 

ASH: See, you gotta stop thinking of heaven as one place. It’s more like a butt-load of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland except without all the anti-Semitism.

...

ASH: Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not. DEAN: What do you mean ‘special’? ASH: Aw, you know. Like, uh, soul-mates. (Silence greets his statement. Dean and Sam don’t look at each other.) Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s. DEAN: But you ain’t most people.

Yet Ash found Sam and Dean together... and he made some assumptions. He didn’t know that Cas had been giving Dean the “ain’t most people” cheat codes to Heaven.

But Zachariah’s already got Sam and Dean trapped:

MARY: Honey. Why are you up? DEAN: Look. I’m-I’m sorry. I love you but you’re not real and we don’t have time— MARY: Did you have another nightmare? Tell me. DEAN: I gotta go. MARY: Then how 'bout I tell you my nightmare, Dean? The night I burned. ... MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. (Dean stops) I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. (She blinks and her eyes turn yellow.)

And about this point Dean and Sam both realize that Heaven can be just as good at torture as Hell can...

MARY: And then, finally, I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you. (She takes a big breath.) Everybody leaves you, Dean. You noticed? Mommy. Daddy. Even Sam.

But that is NOT THE REAL MARY. That’s not even her ghost or spirit or soul or whatever. Zachariah calls it a “Blessed Memory” of her, and honestly that’s pretty much what Dean has always thought of his memories of Mary. 

They finally meet Joshua and arrive at the garden, where we learn that God talks to Joshua, but it’s really only a one sided conversation. It wasn’t until 11.20 when Metatron was allowed to talk BACK to God (and I mean that in the sense that he back-talked at God) and push him to accept his responsibility for EVERYTHING, and it STILL took three more episodes after that before he finally acted on it at the 11th hour and because of Dean’s direct influence on both him and Amara:

JOSHUA: He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the Apocalypse has begun. He just doesn’t think it’s his problem. DEAN: (stunned) Not his problem? JOSHUA: God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in heaven (he turns to face Sam directly) and after everything you’ve done too. It’s more than he’s intervened in a long time. He’s finished. Magic amulet or not, you won’t be able to find him.

And back to the “magic amulet.”

Proof to Dean about his own “deadbeat dad” from way back in 3.09, and now proof to Cas about his “deadbeat dad” in 5.16. And that was just one deadbeat dad too many for Dean. When he first gave Cas the amulet in 5.02, he warned Cas not to lose it, and then asked for it back later... but now, 

Dean’s first act on reviving from being dead is to call Cas. And he has to watch Cas’s moment where his faith in God breaks completely, and he returns the amulet and disappears...

Sam is still talking about finding another way to end all of this, but Dean’s losing his faith in himself, and throws the amulet in the trash...

Now in s12, Dean does have faith in himself again. He doesn’t doubt his instincts anymore. He’s not dealing with things so far above his pay grade that he can’t even get straight answers and is getting dragging around by the nose by middle management angels.

God has made Dean pancakes and told him he and Sam can take care of Humanity now... (with Cas’s help of course, because God keeps bringing Cas back for them).

The one thing Dean has to reclaim for himself is Mary. She’s absolutely not this warped Torture Hallucination Version that Zachariah presented him with, but she’s also not just that “Blessed Memory” version that Dean had presented himself... Nor are Sam and Dean the little boys that she thinks she remembers from her own version of Heaven. They’re just as fake as Dean’s childhood memory of Mary was in his heaven.

And to continue this already ridiculously long rant with more from the continuing series of Chats With Lizbob:

mittensmorgul maybe dean will tell mary what heaven's really like, since she's got this weird idea her whole family was there with her... he needs to set her straight, tell her that NONE of them actually share a heaven because he and sam have been there that it's just your memories and not real

elizabethrobertajones yeah, I can almost hear that - "It's not real Mary, WE are£

mittensmorgul: that PEOPLE are real, that the Dean and Sam on earth here with her are real. Heaven was just memories

(I love that there’s an accidental typo of a pound symbol there, like a random reminder I’m talking to a British Person, in case I was forgetting to read Lizbob’s parts in an English accent...)

mittensmorgul well, she's already brought up heaven twice, once saying she didn't remember it, the next saying she was there with John and her little boys, and now I think she needs to hear the truth

elizabethrobertajones DOROTHY Dream? Charlie, you died. Don't worry about it, though. You're not a real hunter until you've died and come back again. CHARLIE Slow down. Why would you think I died? DOROTHY Heaven -- it's your dream life.

Because as much as Mary knows, I’m not sure she really understands all of this yet. And I think she really needs to in order to be able to finally let go of the past, for better or worse.

Okay, now I have officially used up more than an hour of my writing time on this episode I’m gonna go see if I can’t write some fic instead. :P

[thegoldandsugar-blog]

BABY DADDIES.

Sixty days since December, A lot has changed from the furthest i can remember, Yes, Like Amber, My new daughter with the town's celebrity plumber, ( Now that's not the funny part so don't crack it yet, infact no comedy is intended here at all!) Sons and daughters, Offsprings of reckless nights and flash considerations, Granted life by a guilty conscience brewed from the ten accords back in my youth when "the God's child" still lived in me. "Who's my father?" ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ TONY. The Church Deacon, Well, It wasn't an angel that brought forth the request or message about your birth, A child concieved of a holy spirit - man, it was no Bible story, You are a memory that lives to haunt my past and blurred my future even as much as i try to shake it off, An eclipse that shadowed my faith in God and sucked up hope drowning it with everything i ever dreamt of, "Respect Your Elders And You Shall Live Long " That was the bible son, the holy book that bound the faith of every Christian but blinded my very eyes from predicting the patterns of mischief and lifelong trauma. Had i had the chance to relive it, I'll die in the morning, Before mama's call to take my deceased father's Bible to that soulless creature! I'm sorry son, sometimes i didn't kiss you goodnight just to have a good sleep without nightmares! ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ JAMES. Officer Richard James, They called him thr the African-White Man, beloved of the blacks in South Africa ! Kind and gentle, Took the duty to serve to his heart and held it close by, That name's still a sale at the county police, Gave you the same to solidify the resemblance for some child support but i forgot, The police are law enforcers so somehow they're Supreme to the law. Saved me from a month in those stinking caves with ancient graphiti they dare call correction facilities, Are they the same which the budget allocated millions for their renovation last year? Who knows? Anyway, A good man i could say, He could wish the doctrines about police conduct and general codes of humanity will share the same thought, Let alone anticorruption units and his wife! It was just a poor lady hawking cheap goods in rich man's land and a 'gentleman' extended a hand to help, Don't you think so? Somewhere they must have told you about man-eat-man society, We're true worshipers in that religion son, Mother was dying from cancer and your elder brother was still a toddler. I had to. ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ SARAH. Now you, What was your father's name again? What did he even look like apart from the stubborn self i see in you? He should be some crack dealer or hired security at a local club, one of those playing that loud bullshit making me sing your little sister back to sleep thousands of times each night! Im sure you've been to one with your uptown high-end living friends you worship at school, Dreaming about Hollywood nights living like Paris Hilton in the State Of An Empire, Defaulting in school fee payments because you believe the money i clean up filthy homes for is best buying you lipsticks than knowledge, I wish i could burst out a laugh but sympathy is overwhelming my dear, Oh, now am being too hard on you? The reason you can't post good grades even when I tire all day to buy you a Disney pencil pouch! Then suddenly i should feel touched and apologize to you, "Honey I'm Sorry "," So so..." A psychologist is out of grip for my pockets but a tip or two you should really consider, Your mother isn't a role model, neither is the hype! ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ JIM! Dear son, How's school going? I know i missed the format up there but a letter is still one if the message goes through. Your mid-term report was delivered a week ago and the grades are still amazing though that's no call for reluctance. You can still be better. Just like your father. Let's say wasn't a good listener and composed as troubles have shaped me to be in these times, A man sat at the table in a corner and asked for a cold beer from a worn out bar maid working extra hours to feed her three kids back home with a neighbor, Two weeks before she was fired for refusing to go under the sheets with her boss, This one time out of a couple times he made her do it with a threat on losing the job she so needed to keep her load rolling down the plank. I think that was Sarah's father, Now i recall the face of that dreaded monster with that strong Arabian accent, Yes! That was him! Anyway, that man at the bar lived to shelter a stranger with three hungry children for two long months, Eating and crying on his left arm as his right struggled to finish his book, "The Pigs" He called it, Pigs who ate the whole lot of fresh food in the farm to the remains left for low lifes, Pigs which tarmacked our lives with lies and false promises weeks before elections so they could run their heavy flashy mortocardes, Purchased from German dealers with "National projects'" money, running on tonnes of fuel catered for by the "government" over pricing the same on citizens, The same pigs that sold numerous copies of your father's hardwork and never paid him a dime before imprisoning him for insulting the "state powers" because he sued them, And in all this, this woman right here wasn't anywhere close because she'd chosen to leave long before, His stories were boring, he'd done enough for them, he was too good for her, He had a graduated British accent from Oxford that she didn't like it (or understood it-its a dropout disease ) Too many blank reasons son. Just too many to run away back to the past where no golden days had been seen. Still an innocent man, To his last breath behind bars built by demons fighting truth and justice throughout the systems , To the depths where he lays awaiting apocalypse, Took great care of his son! To his last insurance policy. Enough of today's writing. Always stand by the right pillars through your eyes so the world won't crumble and drag you down with it, Prepare and care to ask before acting, Success has less room for mistakes, The timezones too might be corrupted, chase time with all your stamina. Stay safe son, Your Truly. ✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴✴ Who else has a father question ? Young man! Please go play with the neighbor's children, It's a blessed society we live in, Loyal descendants of Adam and the woman*, Eve was once someone i called "mother" Long Long before Tony's father, When i was this little angel singing in the church, summoning the holy ghost to the dias with a voice Maya Angelou admired, 'You're Alpha and Omega...' and the angels seemed to fly yonder singing the praise with us, With brother John Nkubu, the ministry's most dignified deacon! He loved children! Mother's loved him, both for his great personality and PHYSIC! That was the type of my mother, The long praying holy women chosen by God through the lamb. The mother's that don't listen to their daughters' cries, neither believe a doctor's report on the same, Just because the author of this horror story is a director in their erotic movies and preacher of gospel he knows nothing of, It's called church people, Church! Go boy! Mama's stories are always sad. When you grow old you protect your little sister, She doesn't have to be a writer of such a story, People no longer read these anymore, Come on, all those fashion magazines with super model covers? All those comic books or alien superheroes and human bats? You'll even be crazier reading than listening to some new school jams about sex, drugs and money, What more moral lessons could you be asking for? Its a great world but the fact that some parts are tearing away doesn't mean that we throw away the cloth, The fabric still has some strength, You can sew it back together.