#i would go crazy insane if they hugged pj too for example

[dykephan]

new follower here and went on a deep dive on your blog just now. really enjoy the views you shared!! i just want to pop in and say i am also high-key very pissed that they didn't end the show/era with a genuine hug especially after seeing Dan took a pic with Tommy with his hand around his waist...like normal people...? why are they like this?

don'tttttt get me started omg the way they ended tit still makes me sad to think about and the thing with tommy felt like rubbing my nose in it 😭 the entire theme of tit was that cringe is dead, sincerity is in, and they're healing the parasocial relationship between us and them while also recognizing that there's a certain level of weirdness between us that has always been there and always will be, but they've made peace with it and look forward to the future. then they just. ended the show. with no set, no props, no special guest, no speech, and no hug.... like man....

did they not want to hug in front of us because they think we're salivating over it like crazy twelve year old fangirls or something..? i really thought we were past that :(

[just-another-winchester]

What are some of your greatest dreams? What do you want now? And what do you want later?

That my love, is a loaded question, but one that I absolutely love and this answer will probably reblogged multiple times throughout the day simply because I really love the answers.

All my emotions and crap are beneath the cut so I don’t clog up anyones dash.

Okay, my greatest dreams... wow.

I don’t know why, but recently I have been so involved in my writing and it’s driving me insane, one thing I want, I have always wanted, is to be worthy of even just one fangirl.

I have fangirled over many things in my time, the first thing I ever remember actually being obsessed with was Hannah Montanna, then it was Big Time Rush, then I loved a show called Lab Rats, then in between was something that I can’t remember, I think 5 Seconds Of Summer, and now it’s Supernatural.

In that I have fangirled over fangirls, people who write amazing fanfictions for them, I absolutely die for it.

One thing I always have said to myself is, you know you’re good when people write fanfiction about your fanfiction, there was one story on another site I used to use that was just incredible, and not only myself but quite a few other girls actually wrote fanfictions, I would actually adore that.

I know some people may not be fond of that idea, but with my character from You’re Not Alone for example, her name was originally Hali, and when I thought of her I was in the middle of season three, and so in my story, that’s when she met them, I have actually had dreams where Hali is a real character and I would go online and read fanfiction about her and Dean, her and Cas, her and Sam, Charlie and others, just people who love Hali as much as I do, and those dreams would make me wake up feeling so happy, but also sort of sad because I knew that would never be a thing.

I don’t know about some people, but I think I speak for a lot of writers when I say one thing I have always wanted is to see what I’ve written in real life. I wrote a novel a while back that’s just sitting and collecting dust, it’s craptastic, but I was always really proud of it, and I would sometimes and will sometimes read it and imagine that people like it so well that it’s turned into a movie or something. I mean, I can see it, which is why I write it, but to actually watch my story come to life is an incredible thing.

That brings me to fan art, I actually... I really adore the idea of fan art. I can’t tell you how many times I have written something, a scene, where I could see it being a poster or something, like for my upcoming story Something Called Perfect, or for a story I’m still working on, one instance with this unnamed story is where the main character is nervous and so she just leans against the wall by a door, too afraid to enter the room full of people, or when it comes to Something Called Perfect, I adore Mellie, and I feel like I don’t do her justice, Mellie is incredible and I do believe she deserves fan art, in one scene I have her chilling on a couch next to her best friend Jared, dressed in her pjs with a stuffed bear and eating pizza, I would love to see that.

It’s one of those times where I really wish I could draw, I recently met someone who is fantastic at it, her drawings are the cutest and sweetest things, and to have become her friend is mind blowing to me, because she’s so crazy talented and I know I could never be like that, I just can’t draw to save my life. (If you’re reading this Eileen, you da best.)

I actually considered having a challenge where I wanted someone to make me a fan art, whether it be a drawing, aesthetic or whatever, and I would write a fic about it, or a chapter of one of my series, but I chose not to because I was afraid it would make me look selfish.

There are still so many instances in my fics where I wish I could draw a pic for it, in You’re Not Alone, reader character in the second chapter, leaning up against the brick wall and crying, her head in her knees, her attacking Dean in a hug.

I’m not really sure, and I kind of feel bad for talking about it, it’s just a dream of mine, to create something fangirl worthy, fanart worthy, I think we would all love that.

My dreams for the long run... damn.

I’ve always wanted to go to culinary school, I would love it so much, but I was homeschooled through high school and most of my life, so I don’t qualify for any scholarships, and loans just flat out sound scary to me, so college is probably just never going to happen for me.

I’m a simple girl, my dream is to marry a man who will love me, who will do dumb little surprises for me, something I’ve always said was how, my mother is amazing at little surprises like that. One day I’ll be like, “I’m craving a kit kat.” And then the next day she goes to the store and she brings me home a kit kat, that would be awesome. I would love a guy who would do little things like that for me, who would just know me and find the little ways to make me smile.

Someone who would know when to hug me, and when to give me space, I know that seems like a lot to expect, but I’m going to be completely straight with you...

The only time I don’t want to be hugged is if I just lost someone, honestly unless I’m incredibly upset, all the hugs guys, all the damn hugs.

One of my dreams is to meet my two best friends Katy and Amanda some day, that would be the best. I would make them hate me in two seconds flat but... then I’d go home and they’d love me again, lol.

I wanna be a mom, I wanna be a wife, I wanna be a cook, I wanna actually have a bakery or be a baker of some sort. Like I said, I’m simple, olden timey I guess, all I want is a home, a loving husband, and children. I want that connection, that bond, I want to know I have someone to go to, I hate feeling lonely.

So anon, those are my dreams. You got yourself in trouble here, this is certainly long, but you did ask.

If anyone who reads this is with me, drop me an ask, remind me that I’m not alone.

Knowing there are people out there who get you, it’s the best feeling in the world.

[davidcarner]

Reassigned Ch 11, A Very Bartowski Christmas

A/N: There is a LOT of good fanfic on this site right now, and if you're reading this and I haven't had a chance to review yours, I'm sorry, my life is insane right now. My time management hasn't been stellar lately…In the review by Marc Vun Kannon he mentioned the word domestic which got me thinking…Sarah Walker is being hit with everything at once…So far she's handled it well, but we know even in season 4 she had hangup, and she'd known Chuck for a LONG time at that point….So what would Christmas do to her…I give you Reassigned, Ch. 11, A Very Bartowski Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, or Christmas, but you know I try to always work it in.

Sarah stared at the table. Every present was laid out, she had messed with the tree twenty times if she had once. It had to be perfect. Christmas had to be perfect. Christmas had never been perfect, hell, Christmas usually didn't even happen. Christmas time meant it was normally a time to pull a con, playing a fake santa to get donations and then get out of town. She looked back at the table, everything she needed was laid out in precise order, just like an op would be. Scissors, paper, tape, presents, and yet, it was wrong. She didn't know why it was wrong, but it was wrong. There was a knock on the door.

"COME IN!" she yelled. She was getting tense, why was she getting tense? It was just Christmas, just because it was Chuck's favorite holiday was no big deal. Sarah was really trying to convince herself of that. She glanced at the door as it opened. Ellie came in, her eyes big. Sarah realized she might look a little crazed in her current state. She spun toward Ellie, scissors in hand. "What am I doing wrong? I have everything, I have presents, supplies, paper, everything, and it just feels wrong." Ellie's eyes grew wider, and Sarah realized she had been gesticulating with the scissors. Ellie gently took the scissors away, and turned Sarah toward the mirror. She saw she looked a little wild-eyed and crazy.

"Sarah, have you ever celebrated Christmas?" Ellie asked. Sarah shook her head, looking embarrassed. Ellie smiled. "Okay, it's fine. Chuck has the big job tonight, right?" Sarah nodded. Chuck was redoing a firm's security. They asked him to do it at night so as not to affect normal business. "Listen, do me a favor, go take a bath. A nice soaking bath, and I promise when you come out, I'll have everything under control." Sarah nodded, and headed toward the bathroom. Ellie looked around, grinned, and shook her head. She picked up her phone. "Carina, you busy?"

-ooooo-

When Sarah walked out, she felt better. She was in her comfy pajamas, and the room felt different, warmer, all tension gone. The Christmas tree was plugged in, soft Christmas music was playing, a fire was on the TV screen, and Ellie handed her a glass of cider. She could even smell something baking. This was it, this was what she was missing.

"Are you two drinking cider as well?" Sarah asked, seeing Carina.

"Yes," Ellie said. "And don't start. We're all also having cookies and fudge." Tears were in Sarah's eyes. "Sweetie," she said, pulling her in to a side hug. "What is it?"

"I've always wanted this," Sarah admitted. "The tree, family, this life, and it SCARES me. It's stupid isn't it?" Ellie had let her go, and she was surprised when Carina hugged her.

"Blondie, it's not the life for me, but it's obviously what you want," Carina said.

"Is it?" Sarah, asked. "Isn't it the hormones?" Carina and Ellie shook their heads.

"Sarah, what made you want to be an agent?" Carina asked. Sarah looked at her.

"My dad got arrested," Sarah said softly. "Graham gave me a choice." She paused a second. "But he really didn't."

"Sweetie, hold old were you?" Ellie asked. Sarah didn't answer for a minute.

"Sixteen," Sarah said softly.

"WHAT!?" Ellie yelled. She was furious.

"Are you serious?" Carina asked. "How was that legal?"

"I'm not entirely sure it was," Sarah admitted. "So, I've pretty much haven't had Christmas since then and before that Christmas meant the Salvation Army scam with Dad." She looked away, ashamed. She went and slumped into the middle of the couch. Carina and Ellie exchanged a look and both of them went to either side, sat down on beside of her, and each put their arm around her.

"The first Christmas after Dad left Chuck and I didn't want to put up the tree. We didn't have anything to celebrate," Ellie began. Sarah turned to look at her. "We went a few days into December and it wasn't up. One afternoon I came home after school and Chuck had put up an old artificial tree. It looked pitiful." She was laughing but there was a sadness in her eyes, remembering. She had a sad smile on her face. "You know Chuck. I came in, and he spun around and had a determined look on his face. He looked at me and said, 'Ellie, they left us, why are we not having Christmas? We have each other, we're here. Why can't we celebrate us?'" Sarah smiled, that was Chuck. "So we had Christmas, which basically was us in our PJs all day, watching the Twilight Zone marathon on some channel on TV."

"I don't have a heartwarming Christmas story, but I'm not a Bartowski," Carina said, making both the other women burst out into laughter. "But, let me add this, you keep hollering hormones this and hormones that, have you ever stopped to think that maybe you are finally able to have the life you wanted? Have you ever considered that maybe you really do want the husband, the kids, the house with the picket fence and the dog?" Sarah looked at Carina, blinking tears.

"No," she said. Carina and Ellie shared a look.

"Sarah," Ellie said softly. "What do you want?" Sarah looked from one woman to the other and took a deep breath. She had never told anyone these feeling. She barely even admitted they were there, and it was silly, it was from a long time ago, back when she had a dog named Bunny. Sarah had never told anyone this, in all her life, but now, now she should. She wanted a real life, real friends, and that's what these were. Sure her and Carina met through the CIA, sure Ellie was Chuck's brother, but these two, they were here for her, and this was about her and what she wanted.

"I want a house," Sarah said softly. She began to pick up steam. "It has a red door, and a white picket fence." Ellie squeezed her.

"A guest room for the Godspy?" Carina asked. Sarah nodded, tears in her eyes.

"It also has a big backyard that I want to mow, because I want to," Sarah said, laughing. "I want my kids to be able to play and swing on a swing set."

"Kids?" Ellie asked, a grin on her face.

"I think Chuck wants more," she said.

"Nope, this has nothing to do with my brother Sarah, what do you want?" Ellie asked. Tears began to flow.

"I want a home," Sarah said. "I want a stupid Christmas trees, and presents and stocking and all the stuff I never got." She stood up, and walked around. "I want them to have parents they can depend on unlike me. I want to have a man in their life who won't tempt them with the open road, and be someone they can depend on. I want them to have a father, not a wander, I want them to have a mother, not someone who they fight with because being with their father is more of an adventure. I want us to adventure with them together. I want Chuck to be that man. And no Ellie, this isn't about what he wants, it's what I want and that's who I want." She took a deep breath getting herself under control.

"Get it all out," Carina said.

"I want not to be terrified. I am so scared, you don't even understand how scared because I don't. One minute I'm sure what I want with Chuck and…and the next minute I think he'd never want to be with someone like me. Then he does something so Chucklike…" she turned to Carina. "Take Bryce for example, I was floored. I know of no one else who would have saved him, and if he can do that for him, then, what can he do for someone he loves."

"Blondie, Chuckles isn't going anywhere," Carina said.

"Anything else?" Ellie asked with a grin.

"Yeah, I wanna make sure you understand something, I love you brother," Sarah said. "He's it, there's no one else for me. I know we've done this quick, but what I'm saying is, Chuck is everything and if he's not it, no one will ever compare. I just don't know if I can ever marry him." Ellie was expressionless. Sarah had never been more nervous in her life, but she continued. "All marriage has ever been in my life is heartbreak and misery. Part of me wonders if it isn't a crutch, that people quit working to be together. You don't need some ceremony to commit to someone." Ellie smiled at her.

"I completely agree," Ellie said, flooring Sarah. "I've not had the best example growing up either, but I came to a decision." She chuckled. "It was Chuck's speech actually. What they did, they did, but what I do, is what I do, and they don't get to affect me if I don't let them. I want to be married, because Devon is my partner. I want to be married, and I completely understand why you don't, but you need to understand something, if you're going to be with him." She paused and grinned. "If you are going to be with Chuck Bartowski, he won't force you too, and one day, you're gonna wake up, and decide you want to be married to him. Sweetie, whatever you two decide is fine with me, but if you made me bet, I don't give you six more months, because your world has been turned upside down and rocked. Love has made you see things you never have, love has helped free you, Sarah, and one day, you're going to be greedy, and you're gonna want that man as your husband."

"There are a lot of things we've done that don't let us sleep at night," Carina said, looking at the fire on the TV. Both women turned to her, and Sarah took Carina's hand. "I never thought there was any man that could forgive me…us…of some of the things we've had to do." She paused, shrugged, and grinned. "I think that's why I do some of what I do. If no one else is gonna want me after all this, than who cares what I do, right?" Sarah gave her friend a sad, but understanding, smile. Carina turned to Sarah. "Then I met Chuck Bartowski." Sarah grinned, tears in her eyes. "Blondie, I know why you don't want to be married. You want him to have an out. You don't think he knows everything, and you don't know how to tell him everything. I promise you, that guy…that guy doesn't care. He doesn't and he never will. He loves you."

"Huh," Ellie said, trying to lighten the mood. "I just assumed you were the way you were because of a broken home."

"I grew up in a perfectly happy home," Carina said, taking a drink of her cider, feeling a bit left out. Ellie turned to her.

"Really?" Ellie asked.

"No," Carina scoffed. "Dad was an alcoholic and Mom….well, Mom was mom." She shrugged. "I'm sure it has something to do with why I am the way I am."

"Or you could just give off a façade as a defense mechanism," Ellie said.

"I'm going with Ellie," Sarah said, glad not to be the subject for a second. "I know darn good and well you don't sleep with as many guys as you act like you do."

"Girlie, I don't sleep with any of them," she said, grinning. She looked from Ellie to Sarah. "Tough room."

"Carina," Ellie said.

"Fine, but I have a certain reputation to maintain," Carina said. "No, I don't sleep with the 'bad guys' like some think I do. I do enjoy men though, so sue me."

"No one is judging you or thinks any less of you," Sarah said. "But I think you like being seen that way and I know why you like having that persona." Carina didn't answer. "Reputation is more important sometimes than the truth, and people think your just a sex crazed woman, instead of a smart, calculating, cunning spy." Carina grinned.

"But I am sex crazed," Carina replied. Sarah rolled her eyes. "But not as bad as you right now." Ellie laughed at the two of them. "Oh, don't you say a word, just because you've only got one guy, don't tell me you two aren't doing it on the regular." Ellie grinned and shrugged. "He is fine looking." Ellie narrowed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Girl, but he walks around here in as little as he does, I gotta look, he shouldn't dress like that." All three women laughed out loud. Chuck took that moment to walk in the door, and he paused.

"You know what, I should probably go," Chuck said.

"Get your fine ass in here, Bartowski," Carina said.

"Carina," Sarah warned.

"Again, he shouldn't dress that way," she said, laughing.

"Carina, I'm going to need you to quit objectifying men, you're a bad influence on Morgan," Chuck replied. Ellie rolled her eyes. "Seriously you three, I can go over to Ellie's and hang there."

"No one's home, Chuck, and besides, we got to talking, nothing is even wrapped," Ellie replied. "Would you mind doing the dishes, that's the one thing I didn't get done."

"On it," Chuck said. "Just let me put my things up." Chuck headed over to his work area, dropped everything off in a neat orderly fashion, walked back, attempted to give Sarah a peck on the lips, aware of the other two watching, and Sarah having none of that, pulled him in for a toe-curdling kiss. Chuck stumbled into the kitchen. The three began to wrap present while Chuck washed the dishes. The oven went off, and Chuck began to check on the cookies.

"Leave that," Ellie said.

"I've taught him a few things, Ellie," Sarah said. Ellie spun, her eyes wide.

"HOW?" Ellie asked. "I've beg, pleaded, threatened, was kind, yelled, and nothing worked." Sarah shrugged. "Don't ever think you won't be a great mom."

"You know I'd be insulted by that, if I didn't know you loved me deep down," Chuck replied.

"Deep, deep, down, Baby Brother," she said, with a wink. Chuck was drying off his hands as she pulled the cookies out of the oven.

"Everything okay with Sarah?" Chuck asked softly. Ellie nodded.

"Yep, girls night," she replied.

"No, girls night involves dancing and wine," Chuck replied.

"When she has the baby, that will happen," Ellie replied.

"Good, I can watch the baby and you all can have a night of fun," Chuck said, turning and hanging the dishtowel. He suddenly felt a body slam into him from behind hugging him. "Ack!"

"Sorry!" Sarah said, letting go. Chuck turned around and was crushed by a hug again. "You'd really do that?"

"Do what?" Chuck asked. "Watch our daughter?" He separated her from him gently. "Sarah if I'm in this, I'm in this. If you want her to be 'my daughter' then I'm your partner in this. Obviously I can't do much for the delivery, and if you decide to breast feed, but the rest, I am here." Sarah grabbed his face, kissed him with a loud smack, pulled away, and looked at Ellie.

"Thank you," she said.

"That's all him," Ellie said grinning.

"No, Ellie, someone taught him right, and I'm quite sure it was you," Sarah said, truly grateful. "Now if only you could get him to quit eating fudge." Ellie snorted.

"I think you have eaten more than he has," Ellie said. Sarah shook her head.

"Pretty sure it was the baby," Sarah said grinning.

-ooooo-

Sarah sat on the couch, drinking cider, watching the Christmas tree lights. Chuck had gone to bed shortly after everyone had left, but Sarah was restless. She was beginning to think about her talk with Carina and Ellie, her feelings, and what those feelings really were. She didn't even hear him, when he laid his hands gently on her shoulders. She barely flinched, but she did.

"Thank you for not killing me," Chuck said, jokingly, but just a little serious. "What are you doing up?" She patted the seat beside her. He came around and sat down beside her. She sighed and smiled a happy smile.

"Chuck, I want perfect," Sarah said. "But I was taking the literal word. Tonight I've realized something, I'm getting everything I ever wanted. No, the baby's not yours, no, we didn't do it in the 'right' order, but I'm getting what I want, so isn't that perfect?" Chuck gave her a warm smile that made things jump in her she was pretty sure wasn't the baby.

"Sarah, as long as we're happy, that's all that matters," he replied. "So what's this all about?"

"My dad was arrested when I was sixteen," she began. "I was recruited to the CIA that day. I've been an instrument for them ever since. I've celebrated Christmas in hotel rooms, undercover, and in places that was not a home. Before that, it mean that dad would run the Salvation Army scam. I've never had Christmas. I've never had a home, I've never had a family, and I've never felt like I belong." She paused and decided to go for it. She trusted Chuck with her life. She knew that. "That changed when I met a couple of Bartwoskis."

"We have been known to heartwarm," Chuck said, grinning.

"Chuck this is so new, so different than anything I know, and I am scared," Sarah admitted. "I know I've gone back and forth on marriage, but you are it."

"Hey, after the baby is born," Chuck said. "Quit worrying about everything. If after the baby is born you don't want to, I understand."

"Chuck, you are my forever, it's just I've seen nothing good out of marriage," Sarah admitted. "But I believe we can be good." Chuck smiled. "I'm sorry, I know I've been driving you crazy with this, but I need you to be happy, and not settling."

"Settling?" Chuck said, near laughter. "You do know you're kinda a big deal, right?" Sarah looked away. Chuck got up and walked over to the Christmas tree. He squatted down and dug through presents until he found what he was looking for. He came back over to Sarah. "I was gonna wait, but I think you need this. I think you need to understand something, and I think this says it best." He handed her the gift, and she just looked at him. She opened the gift and pulled out a bracelet. Chuck gently took it from her, and put it on her wrist. "This is my mothers. The charms on here are me and Ellie, and I don't know how to tell you any cleared where I stand. I'm here Sarah."

"Chuck, this…this.." she couldn't speak.

"This belongs on the wrist of the love of my life, and Sarah, that's you," Chuck said. She grabbed him in a hug, and then jumped back, shocked. "Are you okay?" She nodded.

"Chuck, she kicked!" Sarah said. Chuck went to put his hand on her belly, but paused. She rolled her eyes and took his hand placing it on her abdomen. He smiled and then his eyes grew wide.

"Sarah," he said, in awe. He leaned over and kissed her. "I'm here, Sarah, forever if you'll have me."

"I love you, Chuck," Sarah replied. "You're my home. Forever."

"Merry Christmas, Sarah."

"Merry Christmas, Chuck." They snuggled together watching the Christmas Tree lights, and both thinking this was perfect.

A/N: So this one was short, but necessary…Truths were told that needed to be…We are done with these two wondering if they can do it…Now the how…with Bryce around… Hope you liked it, reviews and PMs are always welcomed…Til next time!

DC