#i'd been looking for an opportunity to write bottom eddie for a while

[semperama]

Strong-Willed, Weak-Kneed

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz Additional Tags: Wall Sex, First Time Words: 5500 Summary:

“Okay,” Eddie says. He’s amazed at how steady his voice sounds, even as he flings them both over the edge of the cliff. “You’ve proven you can hold me up for—thirty seconds. That doesn’t mean you could fuck me like this.”

I wrote this for the @weewookinkmeme! Posting it to AO3 now. :)

[littlespoonevan]

Hi!! for the prompt thing i'd love to see either U (Coming home) or W (Waiting impatiently for something) if one of them spark joy. Thanks so much for doing this 🥰

Manon 💖💖 you had to know i couldn't pass up on the opportunity to write something home related after all the metaphors we've gotten this season sakdljhfa

this is a part 2 to amy's prompt which you can read here (but this can probably be read as a standalone too!)

Enjoy :')

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As soon as Eddie’s given the all clear at the hospital he stands at the foot of Buck’s bed and hovers while the nurse checks him over. She gives Eddie the side-eye when he gets in her way but her smile is almost amused when she announces Buck can go home as long as someone stays with him and Eddie volunteers before she’s even finished her sentence.

Buck’s expression is a little harder to parse but he dutifully moves to Eddie’s side and lets him lead them out of the hospital. Bobby is waiting in the parking lot with the battalion car and he only looks a little like he wants to laugh when Eddie directs him back to where he parked his truck near the restaurant so he can take himself and Buck home.

Bobby leaves them with a promise to call after his shift and Eddie’s assurance that he’ll keep him updated.

“I have a mild concussion, I’m not incapacitated,” Buck says exasperatedly, cutting through their exchange, but he seems to melt just a little when Eddie places a hand at the small of his back to guide him towards the truck.

The drive to Eddie’s house is silent which means either Buck suspected they’d go to Eddie’s anyway instead of his apartment or he’s too tired to protest.

He hopes it’s the former.

Christopher, naturally, is ecstatic to see Buck. It’s been a while and Eddie tries not to feel guilty as he watches them hug each other hello.

“Are you okay?” Chris asks then when he pulls back, finally taking in Buck’s dusty uniform.

“Buck hit his head earlier so he’s gonna stay with us tonight to make sure he’s okay,” he explains, not quite able to help the hand he puts on Buck’s shoulder, like he can keep him here if he holds on tight enough.

“There should still be some of your stuff in my room if you want to get changed out of your uniform,” he says to Buck, nodding down the hall. It feels weird, like something you might say to an ex who actually had claim on a drawer or one side of a closet. Buck’s not his ex but two of the drawers in Eddie’s dresser belong to him and his toothbrush still has pride of place in the bathroom next to Eddie and Christopher’s.

Buck smiles, mumbling out a quiet, “Thanks,” and ruffling Christopher’s hair as he heads for Eddie’s room.

“Is he really okay, Dad?” Chris asks when Buck is out of earshot, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth in a move that’s so reminiscent of what Eddie himself does when he’s trying not to cry it almost knocks him sideways.

“Hey, yeah. He’s fine,” he soothes, kneeling down and wrapping an arm around Chris’ shoulders. “There was an accident at the restaurant I went to for lunch so Buck and the rest of the 118 showed up. That’s where he got hurt. But he’s been to the hospital and everything. I promise he’s okay.”

Inexplicably, Christopher smiles. “That’s really lucky.”

“What is?” Eddie asks, tilting his head bemusedly.

“That you were there to help Buck even though you weren’t at work together. Imagine if you had left early or something!”

It makes Eddie pause. He hadn’t really thought of it that way, had been more concerned about making sure Buck stayed awake, but well. He tries to imagine how today would’ve gone if he hadn’t been there. Sure, Buck probably wouldn’t have stuck around in the lobby without the rest of the team. But if the collapse had happened five minutes earlier? If he’d still gotten trapped? Would Eddie be getting a call now telling him to get to the hospital? He shudders; it doesn’t even bear thinking about.

“Yeah, it was really lucky,” he says weakly.

“What’s lucky?”

Eddie looks up to find Buck in the doorway of the kitchen again. He’s wearing my clothes, Eddie thinks dumbly. There are two drawers worth of Buck’s t-shirts and sweats in Eddie’s room and yet he purposely picked Eddie’s clothes. It’s a lot, actually.

“That Dad was there to save you,” Chris explains, craning his neck to grin over his shoulder at Buck.

Buck has the same deer in the headlights look Eddie’s sure he himself was wearing a few minutes ago but he recovers quickly. “Your dad always has my back,” he says as if those words don’t make Eddie want to pull Buck into his arms and never let go. As if they don’t make him want to call Bobby right now and beg him to reinstate him.

Instead, he musters up a smile for Christopher’s benefit and says, “I sure do. Hey, Chris. Can you hang out in the living room for a little while so Buck and I can talk?”

Chris looks between them and clearly considers how to work this situation to his advantage before turning a shrewd eye on Eddie. “Okay, but that means I can play video games until you’re done.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

Buck snorts out a laugh, shaking his head as he watches Chris go. As soon as the door closes behind him the air in the kitchen feels suddenly heavy. Eddie clears his throat, feeling lost for a beat, before he turns to the cabinet. “I’ll get you some water. Might help your headache.”

Buck doesn’t answer but Eddie catches his nod out of the corner of his eye. There’s the scraping of a chair then and when Eddie turns around, glass in hand, Buck is sitting at the kitchen table and staring up at him with wide eyes.

Eddie swallows the dryness in his throat and sets the glass down in front of him. He takes the seat across from Buck, folding his arms on the table top.

“I’m sorry,” Buck says, seemingly out of nowhere. “You said it when we were trapped but I’m sorry too. I don’t like fighting with you.”

Eddie nods, following the vague pattern the grain of wood makes on his table. “You brought up the will.” He looks up to meet Buck’s gaze but his eyes are unreadable.

“Yeah,” Buck breathes and Eddie’s heart is pounding so hard in his chest he’d almost think it was a heart attack if he didn’t already know better.

“I- do you want to know why I didn’t tell you after the well?”

The faintest flash of surprise colours Buck’s features and he still gives a measured nod.

Blowing out a breath, Eddie tries in vain to steel himself. “Chris is my heart, y’know? He’s- he’s the most important thing in the world to me and you’ve been a better support to me in the past three years than my parents have since Chris was born and I know you know I trust you more than anything-“

“I get all that, Eddie,” Buck interrupts, voice soft. “I’m not- you know I love him. But that was still a conversation or- or a decision we could’ve made together. You could’ve told me.”

Eddie closes his eyes, curling his fingers against the table. “When I was underground-“ he grinds out. “When I- I almost gave up and it was like people always say, you know? My life flashing before my eyes. And it was all Christopher.” He raises his head again and finds Buck watching him with glassy eyes. “It was Christopher,” he says again. “And then it was you.”

Buck sucks in a breath like the words are a physical hit, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.

“It was- so much of you, Buck,” he tells him. “You were everywhere. You and me. You and Chris. The three of us…and I just- I knew. Christopher is my heart and I knew he’d be safe with you. But if I told you then you’d know. And I was still afraid of that, I think. Afraid of what it really meant.”

There’s something quietly devastated etched into the crevices of Buck’s expression and Eddie suddenly gets it.

“But you didn’t know, did you?”

Buck shakes his head, sniffing and scrubbing at his eyes. “I thought I did. In the moment- I think I did. But the more time that passed, and the more I got in my head, it just felt like- like I was a backup plan. One that you didn’t need once you quit.”

“Buck.” Eddie reaches across the table and grips Buck’s hand before he can think to pull away. “You’re not a backup plan, how can you even-? You’re on my walls and in my drawers and my bathroom and in my fridge, I-“ He cuts off with a rueful laugh. “I thought I was laying my whole soul bare and you thought-“

“That you were trying to make this family conditional.” Buck shakes his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and letting out a noise that could be a laugh or a sob. “Fuck.”

Eddie can’t take it anymore. He pushes back his chair, standing up and rounding the table until he’s in front of Buck. He crouches down, waits until they’re level and gently tugs on Buck’s forearms to pull his hands away from his face. “The only condition here is if you love us because if you do then-“

“I love you,” Buck interrupts, the words blurted out in a rush, but they still give Eddie a dizzying kind of head-rush.

“I love you,” he repeats, hands gently cupping Eddie’s neck. “I want this family. It’s all I want, Eddie.”

Eddie breath hitches and he can’t help the way he sways forward to press their foreheads together. “Me too,” he whispers and he’s not sure if he moves first or Buck does but either way their mouths meet in a bruising kiss.

And it feels like love. Like a question that’s finally been answered. Like trust and a thousand years’ worth of moments packed into three and a half years.

It feels like coming home.

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