#i'm PUZZLED...... im perplexed even

[subsequentibis]

and you're telling me the popular ship in the fandom is gideon/harrow and not gideon/dulcinea. that's what i'm given to understand. no one else is melting at gideon saying very genuinely "i don't want you to die". no one else is really really smitten with dulcinea and practically swoons when she talks

[michaela-o]

Random things i think Cybertronians would find adorable about humans~♡ Pt. 2

1. Us getting scared by small things

Humans jumping or screaming at a bug, sudden noise, or a scare prank would probably seem hilarious to the bots, who would be 100% amused by how easily humans can be startled. I bet MANY bots would take advantage of this when there would be a lil human on the lost light. Bots like Whirl, Trailbreaker sometimes Swerve that would like to scare the human despite them telling him not to.

Ya all know the vine video? With guy that goes: "Aaah stoop im gonna drop my criossant."

Yes that XDD

2. Us getting lost even with maps or GPS

I personally have terrible sense of direction and orientation (*p_q*) And some bots catching humans struggle with directions, even with GPS, would be both puzzling and funny to them. They always wonder how humans get lost so easily. But come on give the lialison a break the lost light is fucken HUGE.

3. Getting “hangry”

I mostly get tired when i'm hungry but when im also irritated i become hangry. I think bots would find humans getting irritable when they’re hungry both funny and perplexing to them who might see it as an amusing “malfunction” due to our a basic need.

4. Human body “glitches”

Hiccups, sneezes or random muscle twitches and similar reflexes would be entertaining to the bots, who’d find these involuntary responses both weird and amusingly unpredictable especially when we tell them that we can't control them. Get ready to be friendly bullied for this by some of the bots.

Human sitting over on Swerve's bar counter: *sneezes*

Whirl: What the frag was that sound? A sparkling's war cry?

Human: ( ｡ớ︿ờ)

5. Collecting random souvenirs

Humans collecting small souvenirs, like seashells, keychains, or mugs from places they visit, would be amusing to Cybertronians, who might see it as an odd way of marking memories. Since from what i was reading in comics i didn't see any bots do this and i think they would find this pretty adorable. Almost like we materialize memories.

We are all like crows :3

6. Huddling for warmth

When humans instinctively huddle together or bundle up in thick layers when we're cold. Bots would simply find it cute amd definitively have to fight the yrge to just- squish-

Our need to find warmth and the cozy solutions we come up with would seem quaint and endearing (*´˘`*)

7. Gathering in groups for safety

The way we instinctively form groups, especially in unfamiliar or intimidating and scary situations would be both cute and a bit amusing to bots who might see it as humans’ way of finding strength in numbers despite their physical smallness. But we find great comfort in it ( *^艸^*)

8. Soothing or hugging each other in stress

When we instinctively comfort each other with hugs or reassuring words would be adorably puzzling to the bots, who’d find it endearing that humans can find peace in such small, gentle gestures. I bet a bot that is visibly sad would be pretty surprised when the human lialison comes up to them and just hug their servo and ask if they want to talk about it. It personally makes me happy when i can comfort and help someone in need ( ｡ớ ᴗờ)

9. Making eye contact to connect

Humans instinctively make eye contact to establish trust or share feelings, which many bots would find very intimate, sincere and honest because it shows how deep the personal nature of human connection can go ( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ )

(bots getting lost in human's eyes is one of my guilty pleasures)

10. Fighting for what’s important

We humans naturally stand up for our values, friends, and families, often driven by an instinct to protect or defend what we love. I think bots would find this fierce loyalty and bravery adorably noble for such a small species such as us. I even think that many would take us for an example in this (｡>ㅅ<｡)

11. Helping others instinctively

Cybertronians would likely find this endearing that humans instinctively help each other out—whether holding open a door, picking up dropped items, or offering support without being asked. This is the very nature that makes us human (*´▽`*)

12. Blushing when embarrassed or flustered

The way our cheeks turn pink or red when we're shy, embarrassed, or flustered would be extremely cute to the bots, who’d see it as a “giveaway” that adds to our vulnerability and the fact that we just can't hide our emotions makes us very emotionaly transparent is just straight up adorable.

13. The way the human brain is so simple

I personaly am very simple human being and i find many stupid and simple things funny and laugh at them. I think because of this many bots would find us very innocent and adorable

(｡>▽<｡)

AAAAARRRGH there's so many other things i wanna write but i decided to make part two of this bc i enjoy writing this stuff. Dis a good soup :33

(i might add a small masterlist to my pinned post :3)

[23victoria]

slam!

pairings: f1 grid x fem!reader

word count: 4.3k

warnings: cussing, sexual innuendos, manipulation ig, lying in a way, it’s a prank, fluff

authors note: first official fic since my writing slump! i hope it’s okay! and im so so sorry if it’s ass lol, also you can see where i had no inspiration vs. where i did…please ignore that 😭, any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!!

want to be apart of my taglist?! CLICK HERE!

f1 masterlist 1k celebration

Charles

The drive to the mall was filled with easy conversation and laughter. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm orange glow over the city as you and Charles made your way through the bustling streets. Charles had one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on your thigh, a comfortable silence settling between the two of you.

You had planned this trip to Sephora for weeks now, eager to replenish your makeup supplies and maybe splurge on some new products. Charles had tagged along, promising to help you pick out new shades and scents, even though you knew he was more excited about the ice cream shop next door.

As you pulled into the parking lot, you felt a mischievous idea brewing in your mind. You wanted to test Charles' patience and see how he would react to a sudden, nonsensical argument. You knew it was silly, but something about the idea made you giggle internally.

Charles parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he was about to open his door, you decided to strike.

"Why do you always do that?" you snapped, turning to him with an exaggerated huff.

Charles froze, his hand still on the door handle. "Do what?" he asked, clearly puzzled by your sudden change in tone.

"You know what you did," you said, crossing your arms and glaring at him.

Charles blinked, completely taken aback. "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Y/N. Can you please explain?"

You let out an exasperated sigh, rolling your eyes dramatically. "Every single time we go somewhere, you always do this! It's like you don't even care!"

Charles' brow furrowed, confusion written all over his face. "What did I do? I parked the car! What's wrong with that?"

"Never mind," you said, shaking your head and opening your door. "Just forget it, Charles. I'm going to Sephora."

Before he could respond, you slammed the car door shut with a loud bang, making sure to give it an extra push for emphasis. You could see his bewildered expression through the window as you stormed off toward the mall entrance.

Charles sat in the car for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. His initial confusion slowly turned into a mix of frustration and concern. Had he really done something to upset you? He replayed the last few minutes in his mind, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

With a deep sigh, he got out of the car and locked it, jogging slightly to catch up with you. He found you standing in front of Sephora, arms still crossed and a pout on your lips.

"Y/N, wait," he called out, his voice a mix of irritation and worry. "Can we please talk about this?"

You turned to him, your expression softening just a fraction. "What's there to talk about, Charles? You always do this."

"Do what?" he asked, genuinely perplexed. "I really don't understand."

You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile. "You always park too close to the other cars. It makes it hard for me to get out."

Charles' eyes widened in realization, and he let out a relieved laugh. "That's what this is about? Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about that. I'll be more careful next time, I promise."

You felt a pang of guilt for making him worry, but the sight of his relieved smile made it worth it. You uncrossed your arms and took a step closer to him.

"Okay, fine," you said, your voice softening. "I forgive you. But you better not do it again."

Charles reached out and pulled you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you tightly. "I promise, I won't," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Now, let's go get your makeup."

You smiled against his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace. "And ice cream?"

"And ice cream," he agreed, pulling back to look at you with a grin. "Anything for you."

"Charles," you said, lifting your head up from his chest. "I have to confess something."

Charles looked at you with curiosity. "What is it, love?"

You took a deep breath, feeling a mix of guilt and amusement. "I wasn’t really mad at you... it was a joke. I wanted to see how you'd react."

Charles blinked in surprise, then let out a chuckle. "You little troublemaker," he said, wrapping an arm around your waist. "You had me worried there for a moment."

"I'm sorry," you said, standing on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. "I didn't mean to mess with your feelings. To make it up to you, how about I spoil you with whatever you want from the ice cream shop?"

Charles grinned, his eyes lighting up. "I think I can forgive you for that. As long as I get to pick the flavors."

"Deal," you said, smiling up at him. "And I'll throw in a foot massage later, too."

"Now you're talking," Charles said, giving you a playful squeeze. "Just don't make a habit of these fake arguments, alright?"

"I promise," you said, kissing him again. "No more fake arguments. Just lots of love and ice cream."

Charles laughed, pulling you close. "That's all I need."

Lewis

The sun was shining brightly as you and Lewis drove to your favorite ice cream shop. The plan was to enjoy a treat and then stroll through the nearby park. Lewis had been looking forward to this all week, a rare weekend off from the rigorous F1 schedule.

As you approached the shop, an idea formed in your mind. You decided to playfully test Lewis with a fake argument, curious to see his reaction.

Lewis parked the car smoothly, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he reached for the door handle, you pounced.

"Why do you always do that?" you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Lewis turned to you, his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Do what, babe?"

"Every time we go somewhere, you always find a way to make it about you," you said, crossing your arms and glaring at him.

Lewis looked genuinely puzzled. "What are you talking about, Y/N? We're getting ice cream. How is this about me?"

You sighed dramatically. "You always pick the spot to park without asking me if it's okay. It's like you don't even care about my opinion."

Lewis blinked, trying to process your sudden outburst. "I… I'm sorry, I didn't realize that bothered you. I just thought it was a good spot."

"Never mind," you said, shaking your head and opening your door. "I'm going inside."

You got out of the car and slammed the door behind you, glancing back to see Lewis sitting in stunned silence. You felt a pang of guilt but continued walking toward the ice cream shop.

Lewis quickly recovered and followed you inside, his expression a mix of confusion and concern. He caught up to you as you reached the counter.

"Y/N, wait," he said softly, touching your arm. "I'm really sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to."

You turned to him, your annoyance melting away at the sight of his sincere eyes. "It's just… sometimes I feel like you don't consider my opinions."

Lewis nodded, his face serious. "I understand. I promise I'll be more mindful in the future. I never want you to feel like I don't care."

You smiled, feeling a rush of affection for him. "Okay, I forgive you. Now, let's get some ice cream."

Lewis grinned, pulling you into a quick hug. "Thank you. And I'll let you pick the spot next time."

As you ordered your ice cream and found a cozy spot to sit, you couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for starting the argument. But Lewis' genuine concern and quick apology made you appreciate him even more.

After a few bites of your ice cream, you decided it was time to come clean. "Lewis," you began, looking up at him with a sheepish smile.

"Yes, love?" he replied, his eyes filled with curiosity.

"I have a confession to make," you said, feeling a bit nervous. "That argument just now… it was a joke. I was bored and I just wanted to see how you'd react."

Lewis stared at you for a moment, then burst into laughter. "You really had me there, Y/N! I was so worried I did something wrong."

"I'm sorry," you said, reaching out to hold his hand. "I didn't mean to mess with your feelings. To make it up to you, how about I get you that perfume you wanted from Dior?”

Lewis' eyes sparkled with amusement and affection. "You don't have to spoil me, love. But I'll take you up on that offer. And maybe a massage later?"

"Absolutely," you said, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Anything for you."

Max

The drive to the mall was filled with excitement. Max had promised to help you pick out a new pair of sneakers, and you were looking forward to spending the day together. As you approached the mall, you decided to prank Max. Max parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. As he reached for his phone to check the time, you decided to that’s was your “issue”.

"Why do you always do that?" you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Max looked up at you, clearly puzzled. "Do what?"

"You always check your phone right when we arrive somewhere," you said, crossing your arms. "It's like you're more interested in your phone than spending time with me."

Max blinked, taken aback. "I was just checking the time, Y/N. I didn't mean anything by it."

"It feels like you're always distracted," you continued, pretending to be upset. "Like I have to compete for your attention."

Max's expression softened with concern. "I'm sorry if it feels that way. I promise I'm here with you, 100%. I just wanted to make sure we weren't late."

"Never mind," you said, opening your door. "I'm going inside."

You slammed the car door behind you and walked toward the mall entrance, leaving Max sitting there, clearly confused and worried. You glanced back to see him frowning, running a hand through his hair.

Max quickly got out of the car and caught up with you. "Y/N, wait. Did I really do something wrong?"

You turned to him, trying to keep a straight face. "It's just frustrating when it feels like I'm not your priority."

Max sighed deeply, his eyes full of regret. "I'm so sorry. I'll make sure to put my phone away and focus on us. I never want you to feel like you're second to anything."

You felt a wave of guilt but maintained your act. "Okay, fine. Just don't let it happen again."

Max nodded earnestly. "I promise. Let's go find those sneakers."

As you both wandered through the mall, Max was extra attentive, making sure to engage in conversation and keep his phone tucked away. You started to feel bad for starting the fake argument but were also touched by his efforts.

As soon as you neared the sneaker store, you decided it was time to come clean. "Max," you said, looking at him with a small smile.

"Yeah?" he replied, his eyes full of concern.

"I need to tell you something," you said, feeling a bit nervous. "I was just messing with you earlier, I was never mad at you for checking your phone. I just wanted to prank you and see how you'd react."

Max stared at you for a moment before chuckling softly. "I was so worried I did something to upset you. You really had me there, baby."

"I'm sorry," you said, reaching out to hold his hand. "I didn't mean to mess with your feelings. To make it up to you, how about I buy you anything you want from the next store?"

Max's eyes lit up with amusement. "You don't have to, but I won't say no to that offer."

"And I'll bake you your favorite cookies later," you added, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Anything to make it up to you."

Max grinned, pulling you into a hug. "Sounds like a perfect evening to me baby."

Lando

The drive to the electronics store was filled with excitement. Lando had been talking about getting a pc setup and you were looking forward to helping him pick one out. As you pulled into the parking lot, you decided to play a little prank on Lando.

Lando parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he was about to step out, you struck.

"Why do you always do that?" you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Lando turned to you, genuinely confused. "Do what?"

"You always take forever to decide on things," you said, crossing your arms. "It's like you can't make up your mind about anything."

Lando blinked, clearly taken aback. "I just like to weigh my options. What's wrong with that?"

"It feels like you're wasting time," you said, pretending to be annoyed. "Like you don't care about getting things done quickly."

Lando's expression shifted from confusion to concern. "I'm sorry if it bothers you. I just want to make sure we make the right choice."

"Never mind," you said, opening your door. "I'm going inside."

You slammed the car door behind you and walked toward the store, leaving Lando sitting there, clearly puzzled and a bit hurt. You glanced back to see him frowning, trying to figure out what just happened.

Lando quickly got out of the car and caught up with you. "Y/N, wait, what are you so mad? I don’t understand. Did I really do something wrong?"

You turned to him, trying to keep a straight face. "It's just frustrating when it feels like you can't make a decision."

Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't realize it was an issue. I'll try to be quicker next time, I promise."

You felt a pang of guilt but maintained your act. "Okay, fine. Just don't let it happen again."

Lando nodded earnestly. "I promise. Let's go."

As you both wandered through the store, you decided it was time to come clean. "Lando," you said, looking at him with a small smile.

"Yeah?" he replied, his eyes full of concern.

"I need to tell you something," you said, feeling a bit nervous. "I’m not mad that you take time to weigh out your options. It’s one of the things I love about you! I was just bored and decided to play a prank on you."

Lando stared at you for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Y/N….you had me so worried. I was like “What the fuck?! Why is she mad?!’ I was so worried I did something to upset you, I was about to take you to Marc Jacobs to get you that purse and perfume you wanted."

"I'm sorry," you said, reaching out to hold his hand. "I didn't mean to mess with your feelings. To make it up to you, how about I buy you with anything you want from a store of your choosing?"

Lando's eyes lit up with amusement. "You don't have to, but I won't say no to that offer."

"And I'll give you a special massage later," you added, leaning in to kiss him softly on his neck.

Lando grinned, pulling you into a hug. "How about we go home now for that massage hmm."

"Nope, we have to get our things first! And then we can go home." you said, smiling at him and winking.

Carlos

The drive to the new restaurant you both had been eager to try was filled with excitement. Carlos had been talking about the place for weeks, and you were looking forward to a nice dinner together. As you pulled into the parking lot, you decided to test Carlos's patience with a fake argument.

Carlos parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he reached for his wallet, you struck.

"Why do you always do that?" you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Carlos turned to you, genuinely puzzled. "Do what?"

"You always insist on paying for everything," you said, crossing your arms. "It's like you don't think I can take care of myself."

Carlos blinked, clearly taken aback. "I just want to treat you. What's wrong with that?"

"It feels like you're undermining my independence," you continued, pretending to be upset. "Like you don't think I can contribute."

Carlos's expression shifted from confusion to mild annoyance. "Y/N, this is ridiculous. I'm just trying to help."

You opened your mouth to continue, but Carlos cut you off. He leaned over, his hand gripping your neck gently but firmly, pulling you close. His eyes bore into yours with a mix of authority and affection.

"I don't want to hear that nonsense," he said, his voice low and commanding. "I pay for everything and will always pay for everything. You're my girl, and I love to spoil you and buy you whatever you want. Complain all you want, but nothing is changing. Anything that has a price on it, I buy it. Not you. End of discussion."

Before you could respond, Carlos pressed his lips against yours in a rough, passionate kiss that left you breathless. When he pulled back, he released your neck and stepped out of the car, leaving you stunned. A moment later, he came around to your side, opened the door, and helped you out, his hand gently guiding you.

You were still silent as you walked towards the restaurant, your mind racing from the intensity of the moment. Finally, you found your voice. "That was hot... really, really hot…and sexy. I think…I wet myself a little bit."

Carlos laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. He leaned down and kissed your forehead. "Good to know," he whispered in your ear, his hand giving your ass a playful slap. "Just wait until later, baby. I'll show you more of what you like."

Oscar

The drive to the new amusement park was filled with excitement. Oscar had been talking about going on the latest roller coasters for weeks, and you were looking forward to a fun-filled day together. As you pulled into the parking lot, you decided to play a little prank on Oscar to see how he would react.

Oscar parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he reached for his backpack, you struck.

“Why do you always do that?” you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Oscar looked up at you, genuinely confused. “Do what?”

“You always decide which rides we go on first,” you said, crossing your arms. “It’s like you don’t think I can pick something fun.”

Oscar blinked, clearly taken aback. “I just thought you liked the same rides as me. What’s wrong with that?”

“It feels like you don’t trust my choices,” you continued, pretending to be upset. “Like my voice doesn't matter.”

Oscar’s expression shifted from confusion to concern. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring your feelings baby.”

“Well, it does,” you said, opening your door. “Maybe you should think about that.”

Oscar quickly got out of the car and came around to your side, gently grabbing your arm to stop you. “Y/N, wait. I really didn’t mean to upset you. Can we talk about this?”

You turned to him, trying to keep a straight face but starting to feel bad about the prank. “Oscar, it’s just frustrating when it feels like you don’t consider my choices.”

Oscar sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I had no idea you felt this way. From now on, we’ll make all the decisions together. I promise.”

You couldn’t keep up the act any longer and burst into laughter. “Oscar, I’m so sorry baby. It was just a prank. I wanted to see how you’d react.”

Oscar stared at you for a moment before chuckling softly. “You really had me there, Y/N. I was so scared that I really messed up.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, reaching out to hold his hand. “I didn’t mean to mess with your feelings. I just wanted to see what you’d do.”

Oscar grinned, pulling you into a hug. “Well, you got me good. But next time, maybe pick a less heart-stopping prank, okay?”

You laughed, feeling relieved that he wasn’t mad. “Deal. Now, let’s go enjoy the carnival?”

Oscar nodded, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Absolutely. And you can choose the first ride.”

“We are definitely doing the Kingda Ka roller coaster first.” you said with a smile on your face.

As you walked towards the entrance of the amusement park, you knew the day was going to be filled with laughter, thrills, and unforgettable moments.

Sebastian

The drive to the new bookstore was filled with excitement. Sebastian had been talking about a new release he was eager to get his hands on, and you were looking forward to spending some quiet time browsing the shelves together. As you pulled into the parking lot, you decided to test his patience with a fake argument.

Seb parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he reached for his reusable shopping bag, you struck.

“Why do you always do that?” you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Seb looked up at you, genuinely puzzled. “Do what?”

“You always insist on carrying everything,” you said, crossing your arms. “It’s like you don’t think I’m strong enough to help.”

Seb blinked, clearly taken aback. “I just want to make it easier for you. What’s wrong with that?”

“It feels like you don’t think I can handle it,” you continued, pretending to be upset. “Like you don’t trust me to carry my weight.”

Seb’s expression shifted from confusion to mild annoyance. “Y/N, this is ridiculous. I’m just trying to help.”

You opened your mouth to continue, but Seb interrupted you. “Enough, baby. Arguing about this is pointless. I’m going to carry the bags because I want to. And I like taking care of you. Deal with it.”

Before you could respond, Sebastian grabbed your hair gently but firmly and pulled you into a rough kiss. His lips pressed against yours with an intensity that made your heart race. When he finally pulled back, he looked into your eyes with a mixture of authority and affection.

“Understand?” he asked softly.

You nodded, still a bit breathless. “Yes, sir.”

Sebastian smiled and released his hold on your hair, his eyes softening. “Good. Now, let’s go find that book.”

Jenson

The drive to the local farmer’s market was filled with anticipation. Jenson had been excited to pick out fresh ingredients for dinner, and you were looking forward to spending a relaxing afternoon together. As you pulled into the parking lot, you decided to test his patience with a fake argument.

Jenson parked the car, and you both unbuckled your seat belts. Just as he reached for his shopping list, you struck.

“Why do you always do that?” you asked, your tone sharp and accusing.

Jenson looked up at you, genuinely puzzled. “Do what?”

“You always decide what we’re having for dinner and pick out all the ingredients,” you said, crossing your arms. “It’s like you don’t think I can handle it or make a decision.”

Jenson blinked, clearly taken aback. “I just want to make sure we have a great meal. What’s wrong with that?”

“It feels like you don’t trust my cooking skills,” you continued, pretending to be upset. “Like my preferences don’t matter.”

Jenson’s expression shifted from confusion to mild annoyance. “Y/N, this is ridiculous. I’m just trying to make sure tonight’s meal is special.”

You opened your mouth to continue, but Jenson interrupted you. He leaned over, his hand gripping your neck gently but firmly, pulling you close. His eyes bore into yours with a mix of authority and affection.

“I don’t want to hear that nonsense,” he said, his voice low and commanding. “I pick the ingredients and plan the meals because I enjoy doing it for us. Plus, this argument is stupid because you cooked dinner for us two days ago.”

Before you could respond, Jenson pressed his lips against yours in a rough, passionate kiss that left you breathless. When he pulled back, he released your neck and stepped out of the car, leaving you stunned. A moment later, he came around to your side, opened the door, and helped you out, his hand gently guiding you.

As you walked toward the market, you found your voice. “I didn’t expect that reaction. It lowkey turned me on.”

Jenson turned to you with a smirk on his face, “Lowkey?”

“Okay, yes that definitely turned me on.” you said, turning away shyly.

Jenson chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Well, I guess I really know how to handle you then.”

You smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach. “It was just a prank, but if that’s how you’re going to react, I definitely have to pull some more.”

Jenson laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, you don’t need to, baby. You get me like this just by being yourself.”

You grinned, feeling a warmth spread through you. “Are you sure we need to cook dinner? I’m sure we can just go home now and do something very, very important first. We can order some takeout after.”

Jenson smirked, his eyes darkening with desire. “As much as I would love that, we are cooking this meal. But after we’re done, we will definitely do that something.”

He winked at you, making your heart race with anticipation.

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© 23victoria 2023-24 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate or claim my work as your own

[the-butch3r]

alright, i’ve been holding onto this for a while as i wrote it a few months back, but im not really in the fandom anymore and i dont want to finish this as i originally planned to break it up into 3 parts (in the forms of act 1, 2 and 3) but i dont have the.. *anything* to do that. so, i'm going to post most of what i have of act 1, seeing as i won't finish it and i do not want this to go to waste lol so enjoy if anyone wants to continue this (i doubt it) lmk, i really dont care as long as credit is given

DEFAULT DARK URGE X READER (TAV): ACT 1

good aligned playthrough, spoilers for act 1 ahead here (obviously) tav is more of a ‘sweet and caring’ type of person, fyi 😕

You both met right after the nautiloid crash, on the beach. You spotted him facing away from you, seeming discombobulated and disoriented. Seeing the opportunity for any help, you approached and greeted him enthusiastically.

To you, he was another survivor; a potential friend who could help you get out of this mess.

To him, you were just another sheep among all others, your soul to be eventually ripped and shredded from this world one way or another. He wants to rip you apart as the bloodthirsty, vicious wolf, to make you bleed and shriek by his accursed hands. At least, that is what his mind tells him - His own flayed heart feels different. He is confused as to why it is this way, or better yet, who he even is, but he stays vaguely quiet about it for now.

Your minds lock together, as yours did with Shadowheart and Lae’zel just earlier – you sense something hungry, locked deep inside of you, yet you know not what. You are confused, puzzled, but there’s more to it than that.

He groans, rubbing his fingers on his skull in an attempt to ease the pounding blood in his head. You explain that it’s the tadpole’s doing, and you then introduce yourself. He reciprocates, but takes a pause as if deciding on a name, and subsequently landed on ‘Durge.’ It was a strange name, but you didn’t judge. You invited him along on your journey to seek out a healer, and seeing as he had no other choice, he accepted.

As he travels with you, it’s easy to tell something in his head has been twisted, other than what the tadpole might have affected. looking into his eyes deep enough gives you the sensation as if they contain a malicious hunger deep inside them – he perks at the slightest mention of anything within the nature of obscene violence, and it’s almost like he changes into someone completely different during combat. You sense that the nautiloid wasn’t the only unfortunate occurrence he’s suffered, but you didn’t want to pry now, so you decided to yourself you’d stay quiet until he’d ever wanted to confide in you, assuming you two would be able to get that far.

When you make it to the grove, you stumble upon the cutest squirrel you’ve ever seen! You kneel down and admire it, holding a hand out to it before it bites your finger. You recoil and curse under your breath, not even able to react before Durge straight up kicks it splat into a tree. His eyes go wide and he glances around as if some invisible entity were responsible for this incident, seemingly perplexed that he could be the one to do something like that. Your other companions go wide-eyed as well, taking a subtle step away from him. You figure that now may be a good time to ask him about, well, his wellbeing.

You question him, not wanting to pry too much out of respect, but also curious about whatever just happened. You make a funny comment about needing protection from things other than squirrels, but he doesn’t laugh with you. You correct your tone and ask sympathetically, is everything all right?

He answers honestly. No. He’s not alright. He confesses he has amnesia – he does not remember who he is, and his mind is just spinning with what feels like a raging headache.

You lay a hand on his shoulder, attempting to console him to your best effort, to which he smiles softly and expresses his appreciation for it. You offer a healing potion to see if that might make him feel better, but he declines. He assures you that he just needs some time to adapt to his condition. He should be fine as long as he takes it easy, for now.

There are more various encounters you note over the course of a few long rests, such as the Arabella incident. You always take a glance at him once in a while, to see if he has that crazed look in his eye. Usually he does, but you can tell he tries to subdue whatever is inside of him. You start to quietly question yourself about who he is – could he be lying about his amnesia? No, surely not. He seems genuinely befuddled. There is definitely more to his situation than amnesia. You sympathize. You want to help him, somehow.

You and Durge grow closer together, over time. He deeply appreciates how you show your concern for him, and he expresses that. You could soon call yourself friends after knowing him only a few days to a week. He was always by your side on your adventures, attached right to the hip. You were the person he was most comfortable around, so far.

You enjoyed his presence as much as he did yours. He was mostly quiet, but you of course didn’t mind. He was smart, and he listened to you, and valued your comfort just as much as you valued his. He respected you, and you respected him in turn.

And that’s where feelings grew. A fondness resonated between you two, and you felt safe in his presence, despite how intimidating he may stand out to be. But that only increased your attraction for him. Even better, he was gentle with you. It feels like you had unlocked a secret softness inside of him, reserved only for someone like you, which made you feel very accomplished.

On his end, he was distraught. Overwhelmed by this emotion. At first, he recognized his fondness for you, but hadn’t seen it as a romantic emotion. The thought hadn’t even so much as brushed against his mind. But now? He is in such denial, and so many confusing feelings are buzzing around his head that he could not even comprehend or interpret. It is as if his bitter heart were never made to dispense emotions such as this. He doesn’t even know how to feel about it. Is this a good emotion for him? He doesn’t know. He has never recognized the soft feelings he gets when he’s near you. For now, he tries to learn how to live with them, if he cannot decipher them, hoping these may go away soon. Unfortunately, they only get worse.

Just as much as he recognizes his feelings for you, the urge only grapples its talons on you like a target. Two halves of him either want to kill you, or protect you. Seeing as you’re still alive, he’s doing a better job at protecting you, but whatever deplorable evil is inside him scares him. He knows, beyond any doubt, it will unleash chaos within him, sooner or later.

As a result of the urge to both keep you alive and kill you, he tries to spare at least a bit of distance from you. He moves his tent all the way to the other side of camp, away from you and everyone else. He purposely lags behind, just a bit, whilst you’re exploring. He stays away from you in combat, using his sorcery on enemies from afar. He slightly avoids you, just in the hopes it will keep you a little bit safer.

Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice. Until it gets worse. He seems to grow only more and more distant to you every day and you’ve been noticing it for the past week, and you don’t know why. It gets to the point where he only speaks in short monosyllabic words to you, if not outright ignoring you. He even stays in camp most of the time, refusing to come along with you anymore. Did you do something wrong? No, you can’t think of anything you could’ve done recently to upset him. Perhaps he just needs space, and you can understand that. But still, you want to know. So you ask him, on the night you prepare to raid the goblin camp with your other companions.

It doesn’t go as well as you would’ve wanted it to. When you approach him and sit next to him, he blatantly ignores you as if you were not there. You start speaking, expressing your concerns about him, until he snaps at you. He argues with you, telling you that you wouldn’t understand. You let him yell at you until he’s done. You say nothing, and try to lean in for a hug, but he pushes you away. You tell him that you care about him, and you want to help him. You sympathize with him; you want to help him find out who he was as well. You then wish him a silent goodnight and head to your tent. You don’t see him come out of his tent the next morning.

He feels remorseful for pushing you away, but if it is what he has to do to keep you safe, then so be it. He wants to be near you, but he doesn’t want to hurt you. He tries to fall asleep quickly afterwards to avoid the guilt, but he can barely sleep thinking about you. And when slumber does take him, he’s only tortured by more gorey nightmares. And of course, they are of you.

The next day, you left to raid the goblin camp, and emerged victorious. You returned to the grove to inform Zevlor, and he rewarded you gratefully for your effort. He asked you if he and the tieflings could throw a party at your camp, and you, being the generous hero who initially saw no problem with that, accepted.

Everything was great. You were celebrating your victory. Everyone seemed to be having fun, and you mingled happily with your companions. But you noticed that someone was missing… Until you realized that you hadn’t seen Durge anywhere. You asked all your companions if they’d seen if he went somewhere, and Astarion observed that he “saw him slink into the woods.” You thanked Astarion before he could interject you, and ran off into the woods with a torch. (Unless you have darkvision.)

It wasn’t hard to find him, considering how bright his scales were, glistening in the bright moon above. He sat on a log facing away from you; to the lake, gazing at the moon. You quietly sat next to him, and he slightly flinched, as if lost in thought and then taken by surprise.

You greeted him normally, and he reciprocated.

You couldn’t bear this anymore. You admitted to yourself in the moment, you felt something intimate for him. You couldn’t bear having him push you away anymore. You wanted him to open up, so you started to confess your worries about him. You knew there was something else about him. Something diabolical, writhing within, something that he harboured inside. You wanted to help him, but you didn’t know how unless he opened up to you. You reassured him, he didn’t have to now, but you just needed to know what was happening, why he was pushing you away?

He takes a deep breath, before explaining it to you in the best way he could. He disclosed to you about the urge. Something inside of him continuously filled his head with dreadful thoughts that he seemed to be somehow desensitized to. He looked at you with fear in his eyes as he expressed how he knew, deep inside, something bad was destined to happen because of this urge, and he was frightened of it.

You inquired him; why push you away?

He hesitated before answering, but filled his words with emotion: “Because I care about you.”

He avoids eye contact, embarrassed, as you absorb his words. He expects you to get up and leave, to turn your back on him, and tell him you wish never to see him again.

Yet you lay a hand on his bare shoulder, giving him the most doting smile he’d ever seen as you comfort him. You will get through this with him, and you will get to the bottom of this.

Even as he exposes the truth of his vile nature to you, you still look at him the same way you did before. You didn’t see him as a monster. And that’s when he admitted to himself, as well, he loved you without consequence.

He’s taken aback when you lean in for a kiss, but he doesn’t pull away, his body acting on its own accord. You quickly pull away, a blush corroding your cheeks. You apologize, but before you can say anything else, he gently caresses your cheek and leans in for another kiss.

You spend a few minutes in silence together, subtly placing your hand over his as you admire the scenery of the lake together, leaning your head on his shoulder.

In this moment, he forgets about everything. The tadpole, the absolute, the fear he holds onto… Everything. But the urge is still there, always. It sickens him like a parasite dug deep into his soul, far worse than the tadpole.

You face him and smile, offering to head back to camp and get a good night’s rest. He accepts, and you walk back to camp together, hand in hand, as you spend some time in his tent reading books together, talking, or just sitting together, for a good hour or two.

You yawn, feeling drowsy, and rub your eyes. You bid him a goodnight as you walk back to your tent, and he smiles, feeling the warmth in his chest bloom, embracing it. He was still afraid of hurting you, but now, less so. He fell asleep that night dreaming about you. Not in the pleasant way most would expect, but he was used to it by now.

fin. this is probably going to be discontinued. again lmk if anyone wants to continue this for me or smth

[umbracirrus]

WIP Wednesday💛💛💛

'tis Wednesday! I've been looking forward to sharing this part of the WIP, because I've been enjoying writing greatly these past few days (probably because I'm working again as of next week and inevitably won't have as much time)!

Tagged by @thequeenofthewinter 💛

Here are some more festival shenanigans, following on from last week's WIP, featuring Elyse, tarts, and a very drunken Hrongar....

"Where's Balgruuf, Elyse? I thought you were with him," Hrongar drawled just as he finished what was most certainly not his first tankard of mead that night based on his breath alone, taking a seat beside her on one of the benches beneath the Gildergreen where she had hidden herself away from the main bustle of the festival. "He was… pretty damn eager to spend the festival wi' you."

Having been caught by him in the middle of eating some of the tarts that she had taken far too great of a liking to because of just how delectable and cheap they were, she had to quickly wipe some of the pastry crumbs from around her mouth before she could properly speak. "We decided to check out a few of the stalls together, before he realised the time and said that he needed to return to Dragonsreach soon…" She then pulled the remaining tarts, which had been laid out on a cloth beside her, closer to her leg and hopefully out of sight, though the one she had been eating rested on her lap. "He's probably back there now, if you're looking for him?"

His face scrunched up at her response. "Idiot had an opportunity…" he attempted to mutter under his breath, just for it to come out much louder than he likely anticipated, and leaving her feeling puzzled by what he meant. "I'm not looking for 'im. Just thought the two of you would be together." He then shrugged, and leaned back. "By th' way… You're not hidin' those cakes well."

Scowling, she grabbed her half-eaten treat, then bit into it. She had been very much enjoying not having company as she indulged herself, but it seemed that the drunken Hrongar was there to stay given that he was now reclining to her side. She also didn't half feel perplexed by... well, everything he had said.

Once she had finished eating, she remained sat for a few moments, fingers digging into her knees as she contemplated either seeking a new place to finish her remaining tarts, or just letting him continue to linger in her personal space. Or perhaps she would even try to seek out Lydia, Dagny, and Mila on their 'sweet treat tour of Whiterun' just to get her mind away from the awkwardness.

She settled on returning to Dragonsreach.

Just as she stood up, and ensured that her remaining tarts had been carefully bundled away into the satchel which she had with her, a large hand suddenly grasped hold of her wrist. She turned to face Hrongar and glared at him as he held on tightly and didn't allow her to pull herself free.

"Jus'… before y' go," he mumbled, his voice starting to slur even more than it had been previously. "He's got walls built up. But… I think a dragon can bring 'em down."

[liesmyth]

I'm curious that you think that the existing lyctoral necro-cav pairs shows that John can't choose at will who is a necromancer & who is not, because to me it's the opposite! The fact that both scientists & the lawyer (of intellectual occupations) all end up as necromancers and theis companions as cavaliers strongly suggests a guiding hand. Who do you think he would array differently if he had the power?

A few different reasons! All of them boil down to #vibes. My thoughts on this are all over, and I think it IS possible he chose them. I just think it’s slightly more likely he didn’t.

tldr: if he chose who got to be an adept, I think it was more intuitive / subconscious / accidental than a planned out choice with forethought behind it.

Assuming that he absolutely wanted to create matched pairs (why though? more thoughts below) I AM a bit puzzled over the criteria. It's not just intellectuals, they all were—“a cop and six different kinds of nerd.” Anyway, here are my thoughts, one by one.

Augustine, Mercy, and G1deon: these are obvious. They were his long-time friends, unflinchingly loyal, total enablers. If he did pick and choose, they were always going to be an automatic in.

Nigella: that’s easy also; she seems to be the member of the gang John was the least close to, brought into the gang by someone who was mildly critical of him. She IS a pass.

Alfred: second to least fave, though he was the one who figured out the dirt of the FTL fleet by following the money. (He IS a nerd, and more STEM-adjacent than Cassy. Finance runs on probability theory) I can see why he’d have been left out, though; John doesn't think much of him.

Cristabel: this is harder to justify! John had a very high opinion of Cristabel. He called her ‘sister,’ he saw her as a guide, and near the end they worked closely together trying to find the soul. Maybe he resented her for the way she forced him to ascend, but I didn’t get that impression from the flashbacks + John loves having people around who have their own failings, so he can feel better about himself. If he could bestow necromancy, I don’t get why he wouldn’t have picked Cristabel.

Pyrrha and Cassiopeia: these are the ones that leave me the most perplexed. They’re both strong-willed women who weren’t afraid to stand up to John. But Pyrrha was the one who betrayed her cop friends to warn him, who stood by him even after he killed her former colleagues, who encouraged him to be a “bad wizard” — she absolutely enabled him every step of the way. Cassiopeia, by contrast, was by his side in the early stages and ditched her bosses for him, but she seems to have stuck around just as much for Nigella as for “the cause,” if not more. She drops under the radar a third into the flashback narration when things get weird, and only makes herself heard again near the end to call out John; the only one who did. I really don’t get why he’d have picked Cassiopeia. Likewise, I don’t see why he didn’t pick Pyrrha; it’s true that Gideon was always close to her and “never knew who to pick,” but when it counted Pyrrha never went against John, and also, you know. He did wipe their memory. I don't think he saw Pyrrha as a threat.

Ulysses and Titania: ????? They were science projects. He had no attachment to either of them. Why not make more of his original friends into necromancers and give them Ulysses or Titania as “companions” if he was that attached to that model? The only scenario I can see in which they were included would be if John brought them back before anyone else to serve as a test case, but I don’t get why he’d have kept them around. I can, however, see John keeping them around if they randomly came back as an adept/non-adept matched pair and he was like, oh how nostalgic, control group yet again.

More broadly—regardless of who was picked, I don't think he planned out matched adept/companion sets.

One: Lyctorhood wasn't John's initial plan. He didn't bring them back thinking “I’m going to make my besties my immortal warriors and they’ll need a loyal companion.” He brought them back planning to keep them near him, and possibly to make them immortal. He accomplished that, successfully, for hundreds of years—but their immortality was conditional on their physical proximity to him. (John being John, this would be a feature, not a bug!) and didn’t come with huge necromantic powers. They were still killable. That only became a drawback once they were “on the clock for the resurrection beasts,” when it was imperative that his friends should also be his trusted lieutenants, able to carry out missions all over the universe. “God should be able to touch all of creation,” but he can’t do that if his fingers have to stay by his side. That’s why everyone ascended at the same time and the cavaliers went to their death. Before that, though? There was no point. I doubt he knew of the RBs until after the resurrection was complete.

Two: why the necro/cav pairs? I just... don't see why he'd split his friends into matched couples. I think it’s way more likely that the concept of “death wizard and death wizard’s fighting sworn companion” as social roles and as a tradition, is something that evolved because the original disciples made it a custom, rather than because John designed it to be that way. And, if he could bestow necromancy at will, why not give it to everyone who’d stood by him? Why did it have to be an even number split in couples, everyone with their companion? Like, I don’t think it’s out of character for John to go on a godly power trip and decide who gets to have powers. But I also don’t see why he would create a divide within the group. (Later, after 200 years, I absolutely get why he’d want to be THE most important person in all his Lyctors’ lives. But I don’t get that same vibe from immediately post-apocalypse, based on the flashbacks)

Basically, it's both some of the choices in who ended up a necromancer, and just... the forethought that this decision implies. John isn't a great schemer IMO, and I doubt he was especially lucid in the time right before the resurrection; I don't think he sat down and started worldbuilding his new social order and space empire. (Yes, he very much did build the Houses like a DM worldbuilding for an RPG campaign, but that happened more gradually and his friends had a lot of influence. I don't think the beforehand had much planning involved.)

Also: a lot of what John does, power-wise, is vibes. His soul merging with Alecto was done totally on the fly. Figuring out you can bestow necromancy, figuring out how necromancy is bestowed, doing some trial and error until you know how it works, and only then resurrecting your buddies—IDK, that’s a lot of planning.

Anyway. This is why I think that if he MADE a choice, it was subconscious. That's why more in line with how John does things.

[esther-dot]

I love grrm subverting our expectations- not like the way is normally done! Bran the character that is so distanced of the political side end up king pf 6 kingdoms (im being kind with the developing of wow-ados), Jon is king too but for unkown reason does kot last, Sansa the classical princess becomes queen in the north! @ry@ lives in the sea coming and going everywhere! Oh and D@ny... she is not the prophesied hero or the rightful queen. You would think that certain things end up "this way" but was always and always foreshadowed to end the other way. (And the magic? You ask. It was doomed to end like the old customs)

I really love this message anon!

I'm one of those who is not happy with some of these developments, but thinking of subversion in this way is really interesting because in some instances it’s a twist on what we expect (Sansa will rule rather than simply marry a prince), and for someone like Jon, it means getting to the expected endpoint (king), and then ticking right on past it. We would rather end where characters are at the epoch, not have to experience the turn, but it’s a really interesting idea to progress them past those points. Although, while I admire the desire to subvert genre expectations, knowing what someone like Jon has gone through already (and what he still has to go through) makes it feel pretty cruel. I’m not sure anything (even my own rationalizations) will ever make me ok with it. I accept it, don’t like it.

Magic ending/leaving the world is a cool way to fill an ending with a sense of loss, weightiness, that a fantasy story might not otherwise have, but I am still completely perplexed by how Bran will end up king (as young as he is) if his powers aren't a factor. Not that I object, I didn’t like the idea of a magical monarch, but what leads us there is puzzling.

Thank you for your message!

[cavedraconem]

I'm going to be mean and send you a hard RGU ask, since it's something I don't really understand myself. The Utena and Anthy portions of "Nanami's Egg," especially the ending. I feel like it's really important (the egg is somehow connected to ChuChu? What does this mean for all of the things that he symbolizes about Anthy?), but I just /can't/ figure out what the hell is going on with that scene. Is it connected to the conversation about reincarnation? If so, what is going on there? Im perplexed

Hmm. There is a lot that is puzzling about that episode - apart from the more obvious themes of puberty, sexuality and maternity (tumbled together into one glorious mess) and the character elements of social alienation and Nanami being an adorable space alien human being there also appears to be a lot of other stuff going on that isn’t necessarily clearly or fully stated. 

I think the scene at the end of the episode links to the practicalities of it rather than the themes:

[Chu-chu turns up in the lift]

The combination of Chu-chu being away for a while, Anthy’s face and this scene occurring directly after Nanami wakes up to discover her egg smashed very heavily suggests that Anthy sent Chu-chu to smash Nanami’s egg and, presumably, to plant it in the first place. (Honestly, the only other reason I can think of would be that Chu-chu was in the egg, which I suppose would give the conversation about reincarnation a slightly different meaning.) I guess the question then becomes why Anthy would do such a thing. It’s pretty well-known that Anthy is angry at Nanami specifically after Nanami bullies her in the first few episodes (for example, when you think about it Anthy must have orchestrated the cowbell incident, or at least had it in her power to stop it.) So perhaps this is an extension of that, supported by the fact that Anthy does leap on the chance to mock Nanami by comparing her to a chicken in the earlier scene:

Like in the cowbell episode, we have a case of misplaced identity: through the power of the shared name and an associated token (in this case, the egg), Nanami takes on some of the aspects of the chicken, becoming broody. Actually, now that I think of it that comments nicely on the malleability of identity for young people - they don’t have who they are quite sorted yet, so it’s easy for them to be influenced by outside ideas and, notably in this case, what others might think about them. I wonder, given that, if Anthy wasn’t attempting to hurt Nanami so much as teach her something, and her sly smile is evidence that she succeeded? Compare the Nanami of this episode to that of the earlier ones. Once Nanami drowned a kitten because they got between her and her brother; in this episode she goes back for the egg even after Touga rejects both her and it. In the cowbell episode, Nanami is confident in her fashion choices despite everyone talking behind her back; in this episode, she is paralysed by fear that people will reject her as a space alien; but by the end, she attacks Saionji for the egg no matter what he might think (and she runs away just as he starts to tell her what he thinks). The egg somehow brings out a protective, nurturing side in an otherwise incredibly spoilt and narcissistic girl - I love Nanami, but you can’t deny that it’s true. And at the end of the episode, the egg breaks and Nanami learns about loss and grief. Whether it was Anthy’s intention or not, I think that a lot of the character stuff in this episode leads directly towards the personal strength that Nanami exhibits at the end of her arc, when she gives up her exalted status and breaks herself off from her brother.

I’m still not entirely sure about the reincarnation conversation, but this strikes me as relevant:

[Anthy:]

[Utena:]

The ideas of maternity and reincarnation (the one inherent to this episode, the other apparently only appearing in this conversation) are here merged: being a parent and passing on parts of your life to your children is almost like reincarnation, as something of yourself lives on in them after you die. I don’t think the implication is that Nanami is going to teach her space-alien child to be as amazing as she is - in the context of this discussion, I think it must be implying that Anthy is trying to pass something on to Nanami. And now that I look at it, the egg drama engages Nanami in the aspects where she is most like Anthy herself. Anthy is a slave to public opinion, so Nanami is taught that some things are more important, that it can be ignored. Anthy can’t break herself free from her brother, so Nanami is taught that her own brother is far from perfect. Anthy still mourns the loss of a previous life, so Nanami is taught that good things can end and you have to move on. She’s pretty cruel about it because, well, this is Anthy, but I think that the overall intention was to help Nanami rather than hurt her. And that’s why the topic of reincarnation came up in the midnight conversation, because Anthy is trying to leave a better version of herself behind.

This is one of those posts in which I had absolutely no idea where it was going when I started writing it. This explanation seems really satisfactory but I kind of can’t tell whether it’s a stretch or not. Thanks for the interesting question (and giving me the excuse to watch Nanami’s Egg again)!