#i'm not scheduling an appointment for a little while. but...the option is available now

[magicagrl]

i just made an account on the doctors on demand website so i can possibly see a psychiatrist through my works insurance and maybe next i'll actually make an appointment to get my anxiety under control. so look at me! i'm getting there ᕙ(•̀ - •́ )ᕗ

[earlgreytea68]

hey egt, i've recently started to apply for jobs to escape a negative work environment and i remembered you were in a really toxic workplace for a few years, just wondering if you have any tips on coping with it, having enough energy to job search at the same time as performing well in an exhausting job, not falling into hopeless despair and give up when you get a rejection, etc. etc.? thank you!

Okay, first of all, I am so, so sorry you're in this position, ugh :-( I know that it's the worst and it's so easy to feel so much despair and that things will never get better, etc., etc. Sometimes I don't think that I coped well with my situation, but other times I think, I made it through so I guess I did pretty well and there is no, like, "good" way of dealing with that situation.

I think also it's important to realize that there are two different sources of stress that are going to collide here with you. The first is the negative work environment, which is obviously a huge source of stress for you. I ended up going to therapy for a little while to help me develop coping mechanisms for that, and if that's an option for you under health insurance and life circumstances, that could help. I got some tips that I still use to this day about how to separate my work from my life. I think the therapist told me that this was my problem, that my work situation was so awful that it was becoming my life situation, and I had to try to maintain separation.

I did this thing where I kept a stress diary for a week and I made a note whenever I felt a surge of stress. We realized that I had a lot of stress around receiving work emails; at the time, it was before the age of smartphones but I had a Blackberry that would buzz whenever I got an email, and my computer would also make a little chime, and it was stressing me out. We speculated what would happen if I took an hour to respond to an email instead of doing it immediately. I'm not a brain surgeon. Nobody was going to die. On an ordinary day, nothing was that urgent. If I were in a meeting for an hour, I would not have thought twice about not responding to the email. So we did this thing where I shut off all the notification sounds and instead I created set times, once an hour or so, to check my email. This helped TREMENDOUSLY. To this day I do not receive work email to my phone and only check it at appointed times, even during a work day when I am working. It helps keep me more productive and helps keep work from taking over my life.

Another thing I started doing was I started scheduling free time the same way I scheduled things for work. Like, I would literally just block off time and be like, "I am not available," as if I had a super-important meeting, but it would just be TV time. This sounds extreme, probably, but I had a job that was working me around the clock. Some days I would leave work after 1 am and be back in before 7. They would work me constantly if I let them. So I had to block off, like, between 8 and 9 pm I could not do a meeting. It took me a little while to realize that you have to take care of yourself, your job is never going to help you do that, so you just have to do that for yourself.

Now the problem with my job was, as is clear, the fact that it was demanding everything of me and then some and I couldn't get away from it (oh, and also, I didn't even like or enjoy what the work entailed in any way). That might not be why your work environment is negative, and so you might need different coping mechanisms to handle it. That's why I said that therapy could help identify exactly what you need to do.

So, the negative work environment is one thing, but then another related but separate source of stress is applying to get a new job. I have never been a person who gets new jobs easily. I don't know why that is. I promise I'm a good worker! Maybe it's hard for everyone to get new jobs and they just all pretend it's easy-peasy, Idk. So I'm here to tell you: Don't be ashamed of all the rejection. I got rejected so, so, so, so, so much omg. I was rejected 87 times before I got a job (I know this because I write a new and unique cover letter for every job application, and I have 88 saved on my computer). So. I put this information out here to let you know that you're not alone and it doesn't say anything about you AT ALL that people don't want to hire you. It's so, so hard not to take that personally but it is never about you. I have been on hiring committees plenty of times in my life and we have never rejected an applicant because we didn't like them. The problem was that somebody else had experience we wanted more, always. So it's not actually about you, basically ever. Please try not to take it personally. It's just that the more jobs you apply for, the more you'll be rejected from. And I'm not saying it ever gets easier, and that I didn't spend lots of time crying and deciding I just couldn't apply to any more jobs because I couldn't handle any more rejection. Because I did. But then I always applied for more. Because.

Because. This is important, I think. This is honestly what kept me going. The only thing that would make my life better was a new job. Like, yes, winning the lottery would have been nice (and I did play the lottery a lot lol). Marrying David Tennant would have been cool (these were David Tennant days in my life). But really I knew I had to find a new job, and I knew no one was going to just magically call me up and offer me a new job (I know this happens to some people, but this is basically the same odds as winning the lottery in my view). I knew I had to keep looking for a job. That was the only thing I could do that made me feel like I had any agency in my own life, you know? Otherwise I felt helpless, except that I knew I was doing everything I could to get out of the situation.

Now applying to jobs is overwhelming, at least in my opinion. When I first started looking, and I had multiple jobs to apply to, I really only applied to one a day, because I found it too overwhelming otherwise. I just find breaking this insurmountable task into a small manageable daily chunk worked for me. Eventually I ran out of jobs to apply to, so I set up job alerts for the kinds of jobs I was looking for, and then I had a separate list in my head of places to look for job listings outside of the alerts. I only let myself look once a week, on Sundays, because in my field nobody was getting hired so fast that once weekly wasn't fine as a timeline, and otherwise it would just eat up my life, the obsessive searching of job boards. Again, I just had to compartmentalize it. I had to make the job search its own thing.

Anyway, I wish you so, so much luck. When I was in the middle of my terrible work situation, I honestly, truly thought I would never get another job. I really did. People would be like, "Oh, don't worry, you'll get one eventually!" and I would smile and say, "Oh, yeah, definitely," but in my heart I thought that was a lie and I never would. I thought I would do that terrible job until I could finally retire. In fact, I used to wish that I could go to sleep one night and wake up and be in my sixties and just have this whole life thing be over. So trust me, I know it's obnoxious for me to be like, "Don't worry, it will get better!" I know it doesn't feel like it ever will. I know you think that's something that only happens to other people, and you'll just be stuck there forever.

I can't convince you otherwise, because I know I could never have convinced myself. But maybe, intellectually, objectively, please read that I made it to the other side and I'm so glad at how much life I've gotten to live and I'm so glad I didn't just sleep through it, it's been wonderful. I can't believe I made it, and I can't believe how long it's been now, and I can't believe how I no longer experience the little remnant shocks of traumatic habits I'd developed that it took me years to get over, I even feel like I've managed to get past those. I truly never believed I'd be this annoying person telling you that it gets better. But I am, I'm here, it's me. I hope it gets better for you so very quickly.

And this is also obnoxious of me to say, but sometimes, like when I'm doing something like this, I think back on that time, and I can remember what it felt like so vividly, and I'm honestly happy that I've never forgotten that, because I do feel like I am grateful every single day for how far I've come, I'm proud of myself every single day for what I've accomplished, for keeping at it and finally getting what I wanted. That is another obnoxious thing to say, but you'll get there. I know you will. I'm rooting for you.

[lovemychoices]

The Lost Prince - TRR AU [Liam x MC] Mini Series Chapter 3

After being married for three years and unable to produce an heir, Liam and Riley are about to give up when Liam gets an unexpected news that changes his life forever.

Genre : Romance, Drama

*THIS SERIES PRACTICALLY THROWS CANON OUT THE WINDOW* YEET!YEET!

Characters except my OCs belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them

Word count : 3038

Chapter Summary: Eventually the truth comes out one way or another.

A/N : Sorry I’m posting via mobile plus I don’t have a laptop with me at the moment so the read more options isn’t available. Grammatical errors everywhere, I’m one of those people who only checks their work once and post.

Warning : I’m rating this PG18 cause there will probably be PG18 stuff that’s going to happen in future chapters. So if you read this series you acknowledge that you are 18 and above.

Catch up with the series HERE

Liam called Leo up the day after arriving in LA, sparing him the details about Theon, he just gave Leo the address where they should meet.

Leo had moved to Malibu with his wife Amara, who he met shortly after he signed on for his motocross career. She was his manager and PR rep, after a year of working together they started dating, eventually got married and had twins not long after. The ride from his place to where Liam wanted to meet was merely an hour and a half away.

He stops his motorbike in front of the victorian style house and slowly removes his helmet raising an eyebrow. “Curiouser?” He murmurs to himself. As he hops off his bike, Liam opens the front door ready to meet him. “Leo!” Liam greets with a smile pulling his brother into a bear hug as he steps onto the front porch. “It’s good to see you too little brother.” A few seconds later they pull apart. “So Liam, what’s all this?” He gestures at the surrounding of the house giving a questioning look. “You and Riley aren’t thinking of leaving the courtly life and moving into this suburban home are you?”

Liam snorts and shakes his head. “No it’s nothing like that. I…There’s something you should know.” His face quickly turns serious. “Maybe we should go inside.” Leo nods wondering what is going on, why is Liam acting all ominous, he steps inside the house and follows him towards the living area. “Wait here.” Liam said returning a few minutes later holding Theon’s hand.

Leo's eyes go wide open when he sees the little boy, he steps closer towards him and crouched down so he can meet him eye to eye. One look at the boy and he knew what was going on. “Leo, I’d like to meet Theon. He is my son.”

“Hello Theon, I’m Leo. It’s very nice to meet you.” He puts on his best smiles offering an outstretched hand. Theon looks up at Liam as if waiting for his approval, when Liam nods he turns back to Leo and shakes his hand giving a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Liam clears his throat. “Theon maybe you’d like to show Leah the new castle we finished building yesterday.” Theon gives a nod and brings Leah to accompany him to his room, as soon as they are an earshot away Leo turns to Liam. “Care to explain what’s going on brother?” He gives a pointed look. “I'm assuming since Riley isn’t here she doesn’t know about Theon?”

Liam shakes his head regretfully. “Maybe I should offer you a drink first. “Scotch on the rocks?” After handing Leo his drink, he then explains the whole situation about what happened the night in LA and who Theon’s mother was, also why he didn’t tell Riley about it yet. “She’s been through so much lately, I just couldn’t. But I’ll come clean about everything once I have the DNA test done and get the results.”

“You mean you haven’t had the test done?”

“No… That is why I need your help brother. I don’t want to risk the paparazzi spotting me here in LA.”

“And you’re sure that he is your son?”

“Without a doubt, I can feel it Leo. You saw him with your own eyes, he looks exactly like me when I was younger. Will you help me brother?”

Leo gives a rueful nod. As much as he didn’t agree with Liam’s decision to keep the truth about Theon from Riley, he also knew it wasn’t his secret to tell. He just hoped this secret won’t come back and bite his brother in the ass.

************************************************

It has been more than a week since Liam left for the states, what was supposed to be a few days trip turned longer than expected.

Riley waited on the other line for Liam to answer her facetime call. The first time she called he didn’t answer, which was unlikely because he usually answer after a few rings and it was around 11pm where Liam was so he shouldn’t be in any meetings. After a few more tries he finally answers.

“Hey you.. you almost gave me a scare there. I’ve been calling for half an hour.”

“Sorry love, I was in the bath and left my phone in the bedroom.”

“A bath huh? But isn’t it almost midnight over there?”

“I’ve had a long day. Apologies love, I’ve been going on about my day I forgot to ask about yours. Is everything okay in Cordonia?”

“Well.. Maxwell hasn’t accidentally blown anything up yet so I guess everything is still fine.” She jokingly said but it was as if Liam was paying attention. “Liam? Are you okay?” He shakes his head giving Riley a weak smile. “Yes, everything is fine. I just had a lot to think about lately.”

“You know you can tell me anything right? We’re in this together.” Liam nodded without replying, there was this moment of awkward silence between them. Riley clears her throat. “So I can’t wait till you get back tomorrow, Madeleine already scheduled an appointment to interview the potential surrogates.”

“Oh I… I completely forgot about that. I’m sorry Riley but it seems I have to extend my stay in the states for a few more days.” He lied, the truth was that he had gotten the result for Theon’s DNA test and he was indeed his son. The news brought him such joy when he found out but was quickly overcome by the guilt of lying to his wife.

“Liam it’s been more than a week what possible reason could there be? You know how important this interview was to us..”

“I know.. I know.. And I promise to make it up to you. Have Madeleine reschedule the interview for next week I promise I’ll be back by then. I’m really sorry but I’m going to have to cut our conversation short, I have an early morning tomorrow. Goodnight Riley, I love you.” He said and hang up before she got a chance to respond.

After Liam hangs up, Riley had a gut feeling like something was wrong. Ever since Liam got to the states he has been acting differently, they usually talk for hours when he is finished with his day but for the past week he would sometimes find an excuse to leave or just text her and say he can’t talk.

************************************************

Drake and Maxwell were at the parlor having some drinks after a day attending meetings with the rest of the council when Riley suddenly barges in.

“I think Liam is cheating on me!” She belts in an exaggerated manner as she enters the room then plops down on one of the couches.

Both Drake and Maxwell gives each other a questionable look before turning back to her with their eyebrows raised.

“Good afternoon to you too.”

“Riley the last thing Liam would do is cheat on you. Now what’s this all about?”

Riley explains everything that has happened over the past week about Liam’s behavior after he left for the states and that she told him she wanted them to have a child via surrogacy.

“What if that’s the reason he is cheating on me? I’m already failing him as a wife and queen by not being able to get pregnant?”

Drake and Maxwell takes a seat next to her, Drake placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “He is not cheating on you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I’m sure he’s just had a lot to deal with those diplomats don’t make it easy for him.”

“Drake’s right, don’t you worry little blossom.” Maxwell reassures her then wipes a tear from her cheeks. “Hey I know why don’t you go to New York and surprise him instead? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled!”

Riley stifles a cry. “I wish I could but I have tons of upcoming meetings that require my attention.”

“Then give us your schedule and well take it from here. No but’s…” Drake said firmly.

Riley hesitates at first but she knew there was no going against the two when they joined forces. She smiles and gives both Drake and Maxwell a grateful hug. “Thank you.”

After that the three headed to Liam’s office where his assistant Nicholas was sitting in the front desk just outside. When Riley ask about Liam schedule for the rest of the week he gives her a puzzled look. He explained that there was a meeting in New York but it ended a few days ago and Liam didn’t attend but Hakim did instead.

“HE WHAT?!” She snaps, now she definitely thinks he is cheating on her. How could he do this?

“Mam, I’m sure there’s an explanation.”

“Oh there’s gonna be an explanation alright!” She turns on her heels and stomps out, Drake and Maxwell follows after her all the way to her office where she paces back and forth, frustration written all over her face.

“Riley wait!” She shushes them with her finger while she dials a number on her phone. “Hey, I need your help.”

************************************************

After finding out that Liam had lied about what he was doing in the states Riley had Olivia help track his cell for his whereabouts, she knew that Bastien wouldn’t help her because he was obviously helping Liam. It took a few hours but they finally managed to track his cell all the way to LA.

“Isn’t Leo living in LA? Maybe he is there visiting Leo?” Drake said trying to convince Riley not to jump to any conclusion until there is proof.

“Then why would he feel the need to hide it from me?” No!” She waves her hand dismissively. “Something is not right.” Riley knew what she had to do she would have to go to LA, find her husband and get the truth once and for all.

*************************************************

Riley asked another favor from Olivia to borrow her private jet instead of using the Royal jet, thinking if she did Bastien would find out and tell Liam and she didn’t want him to know what she had coming for him.

She made Drake and Maxwell to swear and keep their mouth shut.

“I’m going to LA to find Liam and I’ll be flying with The Nevrakis jet to avoid suspicion from Bastien. No one must know of this and if they ask you will tell the staff and the royal guard that the queen is away with duchess Olivia on a short spa trip and does not wish to be disturbed. I’m leaving the two of you to keep things in check while I’m away and I need the two of you to swear not to breathe a word of this to Liam are we clear?” She said in a stern voice pointing at both the men who gave each other a look then nods. “Say you swear it on your balls so much as if you break your promise you’ll lose them.”

“What? Riley I’m not gonna swear on my…”

“Swear it Drake!”

“Geez! ok fine! I swear to lose my balls if I so much so say even one word about this to Liam and anybody” Riley smiled trying to hide a giggle then turns to Maxwell pointedly with her hands on her hips. “You too agent breakdance.”

Maxwell chuckles “Hey, you don’t have to tell me twice. I like my balls where they currently are, attached to me and fully functional.”

“Good then I’ll see the two of you in a day or two.” She closes her suitcase and turns on her heels towards the door, looking over her shoulder before she leaves. “Try not to burn anything while I’m away.”

“Heard that Drake, she was talking about you.”

Drake gives Maxwell a sarcastic eye roll. “Sure she was.”

*************************************************

Riley stepped on to the front porch of the Victorian home where one of Olivia’s spies managed to track Liam down, she could feel her hands tremble feeling a bit hesitant to give the doorbell ring. What if she didn’t like what was behind those doors? Why was her husband her in a house she didn’t know existed until now? Better yet why did he feel the need to lie about where he really was? She sucks in a deep breath and exhaling calmly before finally having the courage to press that golden plated button.

She felt like she was holding her breath forever when the door opens up and a petite young woman with dark hair and tanned skin stood in front of her. “I’m sorry miss are you looking for someone?” The woman asked with a confused look on her face.

“I uh…” I must have the wrong address? She thought but just then a familiar face steps behind the woman. “Leah, is something wrong?” Liam asked when he sees Riley standing at the threshold,his eyes go wide open. Her nostrils flare and her eyes narrowing at him while her fist curl into a ball of fury. “Riley love, I can explain it’s not what it seems.” He sputters and takes a step back holding his hands up defensively.

“After everything we’ve been through, how could you?!” She barges in with her voice raised, she pushes Liam so hard he almost stumbles back. “I gave you everything and you go behind my back and cheat on me with some other woman!”

“Cheat? Riley no I would never! Leah is just a friend there’s more to this I swear if you just listen…” SMACK! Riley’s hands immediately connects to Liam’s cheeks before he could finish his sentence.

“Daddy what’s going on?” Theon walks into the foyer after hearing the commotion, he looks frightened and confused. “Daddy who is this?”

Daddy? Riley glances at the boy, who looks exactly like a younger version of her husband. Suddenly she could feel her heart beating rapidly and her head spinning. It was like she way losing the oxygen in her lungs and couldn’t breathe soon after she falls to the floor and everything turns pitch black.

*************************************************

Riley’s eyes slowly fluttered open with a ringing pain in her head. Was it all a dream? A terrible nightmare that she just woke up from? She presses her hand on her forehead and let out a soft groan, she turns to her right a sees a blurry shape of her husbands figure in front of her. “Liam?”

“Riley, love. How had a slight fall and hit your head on the floor.”

“Liam, I had this bad dream. I caught you cheating then we fought and there was this little boy who looked just like you.” She stops when she notices the expression on her husbands face, then it made her realize. “It wasn’t a dream was it?” Her voice starts cracking. “My love, please let me explain.” He pleads reaching for her hand but she swipes it away looking the other way. She couldn’t stand to see him, not if he cheated not if he was going to lie to her again.

“Riley, I didn’t cheat on you. But I have been keeping a secret from you and I’ll explain everything if you’d just look at me and listen.” He said in a tired voice. Riley finally meets his eye looking at him pointedly with her arms crossed. “Then explain and tell me the truth, is that boy your son?”

“Yes he is. Leo had the DNA test done and we had the result yesterday.”

“Leo knew? Who else? Bastien?”

“No. Just Leo.” Liam finally tell Riley the truth about everything that’s been going on, about how he met Theon’s mother a few years before he met her. How she kept Theon a secret from him all those years and that he only found out about him when she passed. He told her why he had to keep the secret from her until he was truly sure what to do with the situation. Riley quietly listen not saying anything after, her expression unreadable. “Love, please say something. I understand if your mad and I don’t expect you to forgive me but I had no choice.”

Riley closes her eyes trying to gather her thoughts before she finally opens them and speaks. “I’m not mad that you had a one night stand all those years ago before we met or that you have a son because of that night. I’m just disappointed and hurt that you couldn’t trust me enough to tell me all of this from the beginning. Did you really think that if I knew about your son that I would ask you to abandon him? Do you really think that low me?”

“Off course not, I think is would never think that of you.” He answers taking her hand in his. “I was just worried about how you would feel, you’ve already been through enough with the press and the whole thing about being unable to produce an heir. I just didn’t want to add to the stress.”

“I’m a grown woman Liam, I can take care of myself and I certainly can handle any truth you throw at me. Yes this information is a lot to process considering how I found out about it.” Never in a million years did she ever think the two of them would be in this position. “But no matter what we’ll get through this together like we always do. Just promise next time no more secrets.”

Liam leans in and kisses Riley on the forehead a slight feeling of relief. “I promise, so where do we go from here?”

“We go back to Cordonia and bring Theon with us.” She answers with a soft smile and Liam’s expression is somewhere between surprised and relieved at the same time. “Are you sure?”

Rileys gives him an assuring nod taking his hand in hers. “Theon deserves to be with his father, he deserves to be with family. With us.”

“Have I ever told you that you are the best wife ever?” He smiles.

Rileys chuckles. “You have but it never gets old. Now, I believe it’s time you introduce me to someone?

*************************************************

Incase anyone wants to be added or removed let me know.

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[erasethedarkness]

Hi! Can I request some Aizawa x ftm reader fluff? I'm just so in love with this man 😭

Hi there! Thank you so much for getting back to me when I had more questions about what to write for you. -^^- As I was writing this, I was a little concerned it wasn’t fluffy enough, so I apologize if it’s not! I’m happy to re-work it, make it fluffier, or try my hand at a different scenario for you if that’s the case. ^^’ 

Reader: FTMScenario: Aizawa accompanies you to your consultation with an SRS specialist surgeon, there to support you in any way that he can. You two have been dating for years, and he has been with you from when you started testosterone injections, to now, as you move forward with your surgical options. Word count: 1361

Years. You had waited years for this appointment. Honestly, it felt like you waited a whole lifetime, and sitting in the waiting room as time drudged on only served to turn your excitement into anxiety. Even though it was only a consultation, you were making progress on finally getting top surgery. Inside, you felt like a nervous wreck. What if they denied you, or couldn’t do it for some reason? What if you couldn’t afford it? Or if-

“(Y/N).”

Your thoughts froze as you heard his voice. It was low, and no matter what he was saying, always carried a gravity to it that grounded you. You were staring off into space, eyes seemingly glued to the clock even though you weren’t reading the time, and began to subconsciously wring your hands, nails scraping underneath each other absentmindedly. His fingers slipped between your palms as he separated your hands, taking the one to hold on top of his thigh with your fingers intertwined. The touch of his hand prompted your eyes to blink and then you turned your face, looking at the man beside you. He didn’t smile as your eyes met, but he didn’t need to. Those commanding black eyes of his reassured you that he was there with you, that this appointment would go well, and that everything would be more than fine.

A smile pressed on your lips, however. How did you get so lucky to have Aizawa Shouta as a partner? The pro hero whose epithet should have read “The Aloof Hero” instead of “The Erasing Hero” was actually the most supportive and considerate person you had ever met. It was a severely guarded secret of his that presented itself over the span of years to most, but with you, it had only taken a few months- and then the rest was history. It’s been years since then- he was there from the start of the T-injections, and he was here as you moved forward with your transition.

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, taking a deep breath that filled your belly and then escaped your lips.

As your nerves were finally subsiding, the door opened and you were called for. Aizawa stood with you, still holding your hand and giving you a reassuring squeeze that kept your anxiety from spiking again. You were led to an office, two seats angled towards each other and facing the desk that your potential surgeon sat behind. She greeted you with a bright smile and cheerful disposition, standing and gesturing to the seats for you two, offering her hand for a shake as you two sat. Instantly, you were at ease, your partner paying close attention while the doctor spared no details about the processes for each type of surgery and what made them different and what they were most effective for. At the end, she asked you for your opinions- if you had any preferences or absolutes that needed to be considered. You worked together, nixing each surgery until you were left with one. During all of this, your partner simply observed closely.

“Okay, this one is definitely the best fit for me. It suits my chest size and covers everything that I had hoped for, but wasn’t sure if it would be possible.” Your voice was so happy- this was so unreal. You looked at Aizawa with the happiest smile he’d seen in weeks from you.

“Of course. We aim to assist our patients in being as comfortable as possible in their own skin. This procedure is more complex than most, due to the precision necessary to maintain the sensitivity of your areolas, as well as keep their pigmentation. At minimum, it will cost ¥650,000.”

“I’m sorry- it costs how much? A-are the other procedures cheaper?” That price tag was ludacris to you. There was no way you could afford that; you were expecting maybe half or a quarter of that number- but ¥650,000- it just wasn’t feasible.

“Well, yes, of c-”

“(Y/N).” There it was again- that voice that calmed and steadied you. The surgeon turned to look at the man she honestly forgot about due to his stillness and silence, your eyes shifting to him as well.

“Y-yes, Shouta?”

“I didn’t support you through years of T and struggling to see you settle and take the cheaper route. Pick the procedure that fits best, and don’t worry about the money.” His voice was level, but you could pick up on the height of his command.

“But-” However, you couldn’t obey.

“If you’re going to do this, you’re going to do it right,” he sharply cut you off. You could tell that this was non-negotiable. Even though Aizawa must have sounded controlling and rude to the doctor, who looked stunned and unsure of what to say, he didn’t to you. He wasn’t infringing on your bodily autonomy- he was liberating you from the financial restraint. You didn’t hide your excitement and happiness before the price was revealed, and he attentively listened as you and the surgeon narrowed down your options to the one that you knew was ‘definitely the best fit’ you.

“Don’t worry about the money.”

Silence befell the room as Aizawa’s eyes stared at you intensely. Once again, you took a deep breath, closing your eyes in the process and turning to look to the surgeon.

“I would like to schedule the surgery for the procedure we agreed was best for me.”

The surgeon hesitated, looking between you and your partner. “…You’re sure? It seemed out of your price range. We require a 25% deposit when the-”

“¥650,000 is within our price range,” Aizawa spoke nonchalantly, the intensity from before seeming to have never existed at all to him. Your heart fluttered as you lingered on that possessive.

Still taken aback, the woman across the desk conceded. She pulled up her calendar, and you picked the earliest date available. Insisting on paying the deposit, you refused to let Aizawa cover the 25% down. You were prepared for at least that much. Much to the doctor’s surprise, she saw Aizawa accepting your demand without so much as a glare or sigh. It finally dawned on her that he wasn’t being rude earlier- he was paying you the greatest respect.

You took Aizawa’s hand as you both exited the office, leaving the SRS specialty clinic after that emotional rollercoaster of a consultation. For the longest time, neither of you said anything. There was so much for you to process. The surgery you wanted for so much of your life was finally on the calendar- it was basically tangible now. A countdown started the second that deposit went through, making you so elated you didn’t know what to say. And then there was the love of your life- unrivaled in rationality- who floored you and the doctor with what seemed like complete impulsivity. Your eyes drifted to his face, gazing at him with adoration and a smile on your lips. In the years you’d known him and the ones spent loving him, you never saw him react to something brashly. This was no exception.

“What’s on your mind?” His eyes glanced to the side and met yours briefly. Your smile only grew before you looked away, paying attention to where you were going. You squeezed his hand, feeling him squeeze back affectionately.

“I was thinking that I’m really lucky to be with you.”

At your words, Aizawa stopped walking. With your hands still held, you felt some resistance and looked back at him, getting pulled into his arms. As one hand came to your lower back, the other raised to your face, caressing your jawline before he gently held your chin between his thumb and index finger. The way he gazed at you took your breath away, and you held what little you had left in your chest.

“You shouldn’t credit luck,” he spoke softly, drawing nearer, “because it’s not by happenstance that my heart beats for you. You are my best fit, (Y/N).” You were speechless, and that was just fine with him as his lips joined yours in a gentle, loving kiss.

[heroes-of-your-heart]

Present Mic, Katsuki, and Eraserhead with a transguy s/o who has mild insomnia, some self harm tenancies, and depression? I'm looking for comfort.

Hey anon, I did my best for ya.-Mod Martyr

Present Mic/ Hizashi

If you don’t take medication for the depression or insomnia, Mic is all for you seeing a doctor, cause he knows that, in some cases, meds can really help a guy out. He’ll also 100% clear his schedule to go to the appointment with you, if you want. Hizashi also gives 0 fucks about the stigma surrounding depression as a mental disorder. He’s there for you.

If you don’t want to take medications to help, Hizashi is still going to try and help you as much as possible. He may not understand that you aren’t ready to get that kind of help, but he’ll accept your decision. This man has his phone on vibrate 24/7 in case you text him feeling terrible. Hizashi has become a master of answering texts without being caught by his students or coworkers.

Once your relationship became serious, he gave you a key to his place. You’re encouraged to come over if you feel awful or can’t sleep. If you can’t muster up the energy, he’ll spend the night at your home instead, so you aren’t alone. Mic is very aware of how dangerous it can be to leave somebody with self harming inclinations and depression alone.

Lets face it, he’s probably woken up to get ready for work and found you sitting on his couch, half dead in a binder you’ve been wearing too long because you haven’t slept well in days/weeks. If this is the case, Hizashi will make you shower with him and give you a fresh set of way oversized clothes he has. He doesn’t even care if you want to steal a pair of his boxers.

He WILL send you texts to remind you not to wear a chest binder for over 8-ish hours. If you’re on HRT he also tries to make sure you adhere to the dosage and schedule that you need to.

Hm, oh boy, when Mic found you with fresh injuries from self harm, he was a bit shellshocked. He thought somebody had legit pinned you down and hurt you at first, but then he realizes how ridiculous that idea is. If somebody had done that, you would have fought, called him, something to that effect.

If he wasn’t meant to see them, he just pats your shoulder for a second, not sure how much physical contact you’re willing to put up with after him seeing. Hizashi’s first words are something like “It’s okay, I’m not angry or disappointed, just let me disinfect them. Please.”

The concern level went from 0 to 100 real quick when there are more injuries and scars than he expected. He cries a little bit, trying to tell you how much he loves you. He knows asking you to stop for him is the wrong thing to do, since you’ll feel guilty about the issue or feel compelled to hide it.

After that incident he asks you to at least cuddle with him that night and let him lay his head on you. He whispers that you’re the strongest guy he knows. Allmight has physical strength, but not the fortitude of spirit you do. Nobody else he knows is struggling this hard to live, and he’s so, so proud of you for making it this far.

Katsuki Bakugo

The first thing he found out about was the scars/injuries. This boy walked in on you just after putting your binder and undergarments on. At first you don’t understand why he stopped talking after coming in. Then you realize. This set of clothes doesn’t cover the scars. You fucking scramble to your bed and rip the top blanket off to cover yourself. He’s smart enough to know they aren’t just the usual scarring from injuries. They’re too neat and orderly for that.

Being bullheaded as he is, Bakugo isn’t leaving until you explain what’s going on. He’s only been with you for a few months, but you already mean a lot to him. He knows you don’t sleep very well, or very often, but the rest of your problems are still a mystery to him.

The short explanation of your coping mechanism isn’t smooth, and you’re clearly very upset that he knows now, but Bakugo doesn’t give one fuck if you’re upset. He leaves right out, not saying anything. You panic, wondering what he’s going to do, and try to throw on your clothes and shoes as fast as possible. You also toss on a coat and get ready to run. Bakugo was prone to violent, visceral reactions, and you knew it.

When you go to open your door to get away for a while, he opens it.

“Where the fuck are you going, sit back down.”

You’re probably shaking or crying at this point, and Baku seems to have no fucks to give. You step back, and he comes in, using his foot to shut the door behind him because his hands are full. He’s got a cabinet’s worth of medical supplies from the bathroom, and dumps them all on your bed.

Since you haven’t really moved from your place by the door, still shaking or crying, he comes to you. Bakugo rests his hands above your hips, even when you flinch at the contact, he doesn’t hesitate. “You’re not in trouble, you’re my boyfriend. You look after me when I’m hurt, I’ll look after you now.” Baku is so, so gentle in trying to mend your injuries. His calloused hands resting gently on your skin and his quiet shushing you is sweet. He’s all over you, like he usually is in private, but his chaste kisses are soft and excessive.

After that, he won’t leave. He’s dragging you into bed with him to lie around and cuddle. He asks you to explain exactly what’s going on, and is firm in his resolve to help you. Things are still pretty normal, but he tries to check on your mood more often.

When the depression is hitting hard and you can’t get out of bed, he’ll carry you. Bakugo makes sure that you’re decently clean. If he has to, he’ll make you lean over the bathtub so he can wash your hair. He’s very aggressive in trying to care for you.

If you let him, he’ll bring Kirishima over because Kiri will ramble on about how gentlemanly you tend to be, and how manly you are. Plus his energy is infectious, and sometimes you get a boost when he’s around.

Bakugo does a lot of research on self harm, depression, and insomnia to try and find some strategies to care for you when you feel awful. After all, you tend to him when he’s being an asshole, or is injured. To him, it’s not very different than that. He loves you and nothing will ever change that.

Eraserhead/Aizawa

He knows you’re an insomniac like him, how could he not? You’re usually awake when he is, and he knows you don’t take naps or go to bed early, so it’s the only available option left. You both text back and forth when you’re apart at night, things like cat pictures, memes, and reminders for the coming day.

If you’re together at night, it’s usually at your house. Aizawa actually sleeps more when he’s there, because your house is a pretty safe space to him. Having him around eases you a bit, because even if you can’t sleep you can stare at your lover all night and contemplate his gentle expression. It gives you something to do other than antagonize over how little sleep you’ll be running on tomorrow.

Since you’re a pro hero like him, he does worry about your cognitive functions being messed up because of the insomnia. It fucks him up sometimes, so naturally it’s gotta fuck you up too, right? Not with the amount of caffeine you drink. During your hero patrols, you carry energy bars, a thermos of coffee that’s so strong that it’s downright nasty, and some facial cleansing wipes to make you feel more clean and awake on the job.

Aizawa is so worried for you. He once saw you brew that gross coffee, and ever since has been wary of drinking any beverage you make. This guy loves being awake and alert as much as you do, but one cup of that shit can move him through a whole school day, and you drink a lot more than he does.

He also picked up on your self harming tendencies long before you told him, but he lets you decide when you’re ready. The little ticks you have like scratching at scabs or not caring about the pain of injuries are a couple of the things that tipped him off, as did the razor he discovered missing a blade in your cabinet. Living alone, you weren’t as careful as you used to be about hiding things.

When you finally think telling him is unavoidable, and do it, he asks very, very politely if he can see. The scars and injuries both fading and new surprise him with sheer numbers. He hadn’t quite expected this, but he’s ready. Aizawa reassures you that he loves you, and that if you ever need him he’ll be there. He also suggests seeing a doctor or licensed professional to try and find better coping skills. But he knows he’s the pot calling the kettle black, since his form of self injury is working himself into the ground.

Back when you first got together, he noted the excessive use of dry shampoo and day old clothes you wear, signaling that you don’t take great care of yourself. Hell, he’s the same way, sticking greasy hair up into a bun and spraying febreze on his clothes to make himself look and smell socially acceptable, if a bit lazy. Aizawa also has depression, and tries to stick around you on bad days so that you can suffer together. He takes medication for it, but there are still shitty days and nights.

Usually you’ll both get up to do house tasks together. Even though you’re both tired and dying on the inside, you can do just about anything together. On some days you’ll both clean your living space, on others it’s his being organized. You’ll both try to do the bare minimums: laundry, washing dishes, and airing out the apartments. This becomes a lot easier if you move in together, as do lots of other things.

Aizawa tends to buy both of you little self care kits. Bath bombs and lotion are some of his favorite things. Anything you ban both do together and relax is a blessing, and when you both take baths, he’ll lean your back against his chest and wrap his arms around you, letting the hot water soothe all of your collective aches and pains. He knows your injuries sting a little bit, but the qualities of the bath bombs he gets seem to be helping your scars fade faster, and your skin is soft too.

After the bath, it’s mug cakes and doing paperwork on the couch. It’s not as relaxing, but it’s easy to work while you’re together in your pyjamas. Every once in a while, one of you will lean over and kiss or just lean on the other, prompting a short break of smiling and exchanging gentle contact.