#i've gone way too far to turn back now

[playing-pauls-mel0dy]

y'know. at least a couple of times now, i've seen the theory that, potentially, Rainer was another victim of Marvin's (whether that be of rebirthing or just abuse in general). and my brain has decided to latch onto it for some reason.

so uh. There's That.

[indooroutdoorboyfriend]

i genuinely cannot stay asleep for longer than twenty minutes at a time so i am gonna be weird and introspective instead. evan character analysis. btw no i am not in a crisis or anything i'm just trynna dr house my neuroses. delete that "are you good??" dm right now

[anantaru]

⚝ DAY 14 — HE'S POSSESSIVE & YANDERE

kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3

— including. — zhongli, dottore, capitano, pantalone

— warnings. — fem! reader, toxic behavior, tw yandere, mentions of baby trapping (dottore's part), rough syx, mentions of blood (pantalone's part), biting/marking, dirty talk, brat taming, jealousy

⚝ ZHONGLI

zhongli's grip on your waist tightens as though the weight of his soul hinged on the shape of your hips as he whispers your name like a sacred hymn, his lips tenderly grazing over the hollow of your throat— and morax cannot stop repeating himself, mine, you hear it? he mouths it against your skin so sensually, mine in this life, mine in the next, mine across every cycle of erosion.

his cock carves into you with a loving patience that amplifies the fire in his gaze, he wasn't one to fuck you rough and deep right away, not at all, because zhongli was far too old for haste, you know? instead, he buries himself slowly so you can feel it all, with a god's hunger for persistence.

you swear you can feel his every vein graze through your walls, his slow but consistent pumps rocking into you further and attempting to dissolve into your very body as his forehead rests against your own, sweat pearling where your bodies are fused, and his eyes— amber, ancient, stare straight through your soul.

"do you think i could forget this?" he groans above you, his voice aching from pleasure, though his thrusts were gradually becoming more brutal now, "do you think i could ever let you leave, now that i've felt you like this?"

your spine arches at his filthy choice of words and you can feel how soaked you were at this point, your slick dripping around his length in humiliating gushes with every new thrust, your cunt pulsing desperately as he moans out your name, archons, moans— as if your need were his own suffering.

zhongli goes all the way in, fucking every inch, every thick, pulsing vein through your cunt until it's all messily shoved inside you, forcing your walls to stretch around him like they were never meant to, like your body had no choice but to take it. fuck, yes it burns, of course, he's part dragon after all and it's too much yet at the same time, not enough.

you can feel his tip scratch against your most aching spots repeatedly, rubbing them apart and pushing up against the limits of what you could take as he made you twitch and clamp around him like you're choking on the intrusion as your nails drag across the large expanse of his toned back.

zhongli groans at the sharpness digging into his skin as his fingers squeeze your hips bruisingly, tight enough so it's not considered gentle anymore, not tender nor sweet, yet hungry, completely fucking gone.

"even stone," he gasps, no, he breaks, his voice torn from the pit of him, as if his divinity was talking through him, "even stone breaks with time, but not me, not for you, i will not erode, i will remain with you forever," your walls clench around him as he crumbles, forehead crashing to your shoulder with his breath hot and shaking against your wet skin, resembling your complete warmth being the altar and his body the offering.

⚝ DOTTORE

your body utterly rewires with dottore's hand's around your throat— not tightly, not choking, but claiming, like a collar held by his master, with his breath coming in through harsh, delighted pants against your ear as he forces your legs wider with one knee, sinking into you with merciless, almost scientific precision.

"oh, how you weep for it," he laughs, his voice alight with that hideous brilliance, the unholy thrill of unraveling something delicate and divine. dottore continues watches you sob beneath him with eyes as big as saucers, your overwhelmingly broken noises turning his face in awe like a laboratory specimen gone beautiful as he laughs, his expression bright with mania.

"such a reaction— such exquisite collapse," he groans before tenderly licking the tears off your cheek like he's tasting a drug synthesized just for him, so slow and lewd it made your cheeks burn as his tongue trails down to your tensed jaw and gulping throat, obviously where your pulse pounded like it's trying to escape.

"your body tells me the truth," your pulse flutters where his voice settles, rasping low like a warning, "it opens for me even as your mind screams or begs, perhaps? you begs so sweetly," as he thrusts into you again, your hips immediately betraying you and rising up to meet his blows with no mercy for your own good.

"you would never betray me, correct? say it," he echoes mockingly as his warm exhales bleed over your neck, "no, no, this is devotion, this is biology," as he cups your face like a holy relic, feigning any kind of love and fondness within his eyes as for a moment, it could truly be believed that you mattered to him.

if he could, dottore wants to stay in your body forever, not just for this moment, but as a permanent echo as every thrust was a question carved into your velvety insides—will you keep me? will you survive me? as your cunt answers without mercy, sucking him in and trapping him within a tight constriction, fluttering tight, shamefully eager to please your lover.

and to be frank, the friction was slowly about to become unbearable and you do not remember for how long the both of you were going for already as you're full past your capacity, your nerves screaming and shriveling at his dangerous, rigid thrusts that landed with slick, guttural slaps on slaps on slaps which sounds like sin itself, fuck— you feel so filthy with dottore on top of you, it's so wet, loud and nasty that your body was taking him with a noise that should humiliate you, yet it only made you crave him harder.

your back arches, hands clawing uselessly at the sheets yet he doesn't consider stopping anytime soon as he fucks you sharp and unforgiving, each drag of his cock slithering through your walls was calculated to make you scream out in pleasure— it's designed to be too much, every inch of him stretching you wide and cruelly slow as though he's measuring exactly how far he could push you before your body gave up on its stamina.

every step dottore took shook you to your core, yet when he suddenly presses a kiss to your temple, feeling as though he was deranged with fondness, your body shakes underneath his comforting cold, "there's no version of reality where you'll leave this bed without me staining your womb," words fall out of him as his voice drips with venom and delight, "i'll cut your name into my skin if it means you'll never forget mine."

⚝ CAPITANO

all you could hear was the sickeningly loud sound of your bodies connecting and becoming one with the mess between your thighs serving as a reminder of hours gone by as capitano breathes deeply into his chest— each inhale awakening a tremor through you and each exhale hovering hot against your mouth.

capitano doesn't say much to you aside from watching you intently, because you see? the harbinger doesn't have to, in fact, the silence coils around you like a chain, thick with intent, heavy with the gravity of his presence alone as words would only cheapen it— this unbearable, suffocating stillness where only his breath echoed something shallow on top of you.

his gaze pins you down without his weight even trying to, his eyes darker than sin and steadier than death when you realize— no voice could ever claim you the way his silence already did. capitano possesses you with absence, commands you without a sound and without a doubt, your body would always obey him, through chains and trembles, welcoming him open and spread.

his cock forces its way deeper now, each rock of hips impossibly thick as you bite down on his shoulder just to keep from moaning so loudly as you're shaking through the overstimulation he caused, completely wrecked, and yet he hasn't said a single word yet.

instead, his massive hands held your hips in place, his thumbs bruising into your bone as he pushes in again— slowly, even slower than before, not to mention cruel as you swear you can feel him in your lungs.

the weight of his body crushes the air from your lungs as then—finally, the voice of a man who rarely spoke, yet when he did, the world stilled to listen, "this is what your body was built for."

⚝ PANTALONE

"do you have any idea what it costs me to behave?" pantalone spits out as he shoves you flat on your stomach, one hand forcing your cheek into the mattress, the other kneading the flesh of your ass.

by this point, you're drooling, legs kicked open and cunt stuffed, your arousal and his cum leaking down your thighs, "what costs you not to ruin the moment? tell me, for you to stop smiling at someone who isn't me?"

he slides in with a wet, agonizing stretch as you welcome him with your back arching off the mattress when one arm loops around your body to pull you closer. his cock bullies its way impossibly deep thick inside you, and every move of his was screaming rich and cruel as pantalone fucks you like he negotiates— with control and precision, aside from enough venom to bleed you dry, every slap of him scraping you raw from the inside out.

his voice was like a hiss in your ear, thoroughly sharp with jealousy, "you're mine, everything you have is mine, your cunt, your moans, the pathetic way you soak the sheets— all of it," as he belittles you, slapping his hips against you so wildly the sound of it all almost drowned out his voice.

you sob into the pillow as he repeatedly slams into you, again and again, losing control as you're too occupied with salivating in the feeling of his thick cock pounding you relentlessly hard, fucking into you so deeply with everything he's got as his fingers dig into your hips, your stomach caving in from how deep he hits your insides, from the unforgiving stretch and the endless mess between your thighs.

"you wanna be greedy?" pantalone sneers, "you want more? more cock? more cum? i'll give you everything, i'll fill you so full, it'll spill out every time you try to walk away from me," as his rhythm breaks down into desperate, needy thrusts as he bites your shoulder hard to somehow contain himself.

without a doubt, the harbinger fucks like he owns time itself— as if he bought it? truly controlled and luxuriating in every inch of your body like it's the spoils of an empire. yet when he loses it at last, oh, and when the mask cracks you ask? his rhythm shatters into frenzied, gasping thrusts, each one an obvious confession of everything money cannot buy.

at last, he cums with his lips hovering over your throat before sinking his teeth into your shoulder sharp and punishing, almost brutal until a faint amount of blood blossoms under his mouth like a signature as he moans into the subtle wound, his breathing ragged and body spent

"you belong to me, do you understand? i’ll never let you go," how befitting of pantalone to fuck you like he's angry at you giving someone else a faint amount of attention— if he could even claim for it to be the reason still when in reality, the harbinger simply wanted to put you in your place.

©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

[alexiroflife]

"tears"

fluff for the sukuna fans bc i've been in a soft sukuna mood

ryomen sukuna x reader

Synopsis: sukuna isn't a stranger to arguments with you, but when he catches you crying after a particularly harsh one, he finds himself scrambling to fix it... in his own way

to sum it up: sukuna is an asshole but he loves you, so he tries his best

WC: 3,296

Warning(s): a lil angst

You knew exactly what you were getting into when you first started a relationship with the infamous king of curses, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less when his tendency to be an asshole hurt your feelings. 

You know Sukuna isn’t a sentimental person who cares much for things like verbal reassurance, or consideration for the way the things he says can impact you, or anyone for that matter, but damn! Sometimes, he’s just too much of a jerk for you to handle, and Sukuna himself has no idea why your fragile human emotions sway you to be so affected by him. He doesn’t even think he’s said anything wrong the times in which you grow angry with him.

Now, Sukuna can handle your anger. Anger is good. Anger means that there is something he can react to, something he can tame or involve into your intimacies when he takes your mind off of silly arguments or subdues your attitude over what he deems to be small inconveniences. Anger is the only human emotion that he has felt himself in his many years of existence, so he knows what to expect. He understands it. He’s not, in the slightest, intimidated by it.

But what Sukuna finds he can not handle is the sound of your sniffles that resound from behind your door after you’ve just slammed it into his face. Sukuna angles his brows, pressing his ear to the door in confusion. Are you… cold? Coming down with a fever? What the hell are you sniffing your nose so much for?

Then he hears the meek gasps that intercept, the vocalization of pain that creeps into your weakened inhalations that accompany your damned sniffling. That’s when he realizes that you’re crying, and his pupils shrink slightly knowing that he has gone a little too far this time. 

Hell, how is he supposed to handle you crying? He can’t fuck your sadness away like he can with your irritation. He can’t mirror your sadness, since he has no clue what the hell it’s supposed to feel like. He can’t empathize with it either, for he has no idea what he could have done to bring tears to your eyes and empathy, well, it’s not in his vocabulary to begin with. It’s pathetic, he thinks, the way you have allowed him to bother you this much…

Yet it kills him to know that he’s the reason behind your tears.

He stands there for some time, unsure of what to do. Should he get Uraume to handle this? No, that may make things worse. You may want to be alone.

He turns to leave, but something stops him. He feels an ache in his chest, pressing his hand to his bicep. What the hell? What is this feeling?

He can still hear you crying, and somehow, it sounds like it’s getting worse, louder, or perhaps that is all in his head. He can no longer tell, but that sound you’re making is the only thing occupying his mind, and it’s ruining him. It’s making his chest tighten, his brow furrow, his lips press together tightly. He should leave, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to abandon you like this. 

Never once in his life has Sukuna felt remorse. Not even for all the times he has made you angry in the past when you two have had arguments. He is so quick to blame your reactions to things on your feeble human emotions. He is so quick to evade responsibility, or more so, refrain from guilting himself over the things he is responsible for. He is so quick to dismiss you, but it’s always fine because he has never witnessed you grow sad over his behavior, not until now.

Sukuna turns back to your door slowly. His hand flies to grab the handle to throw the door open, but he hesitates. He’s unsure of what’s happening to him, for he’s never hesitated before in his life. This, you crying, him second guessing himself, it’s all so new and he hates it. He needs to fix this immediately. 

What do you humans like when you are upset? There’s a word that’s slipping his mind, one he always hears you pester him for but turns down repeatedly. He had found the concept so irrelevant that he hadn’t even bothered to recall what it’s called.

He crosses his arms and stares ahead harshly in thought, then it comes to him. An apology! Yes, that’s what it is. But of course, you can’t expect him to verbalize such a thing. You must want something as a gift. A physical representation of his desire not to see you cry. He rushes off to locate Uraume for preparations.

About an hour later, you’re curled up on your bed and facing the wall with a blank stare. Your tears stopped a while ago, and since you hadn’t heard from Sukuna, you assumed he just didn’t care about your feelings. Like always.

“Oi,” a gruff voice through the door startles you. You jump and turn over, curling your brows in confusion at the sound of Sukuna’s voice. For a moment, you don’t believe he is speaking to you, so you wait some time to see if he will speak again. “I know you can hear me in there,” his voice sounds again, and you groan.

“Go away,” you tell him, flipping back over.

Sukuna, on the other side of the wall, clicks his tongue in agitation. “Quit your pouting and come open this door.”

“No. Until you learn how to treat me better, I don’t want to see you.”

Treat you better? Sukuna doesn’t understand this nonsense. You live in his large estate, you’re pampered by servants, showered with gifts and homemade meals, you sleep by his side every night, and he allows you to disrespect him far more often than he should. Not to mention, he has his arms full of presents at this very moment that are preventing him from opening the door himself. How can he possibly treat you any better than he’s already treating you?

He growls lowly and closes his eyes in irritation. “If you open the door, your mood will improve.”

“I don’t want anything other than what I just said.”

Sukuna’s eye twitches. Why are you so damn difficult? “What is your-”

“Go. Away.”

Oh. Alright, then. 

You sit up abruptly when Sukuna’s foot breaks in the door with a loud crash. You stare with wide eyes, the door, now off its hinge, creaking open weakly to reveal the king of curses with his arms full of several bouquets of flowers.

“What the fuck, Sukuna?!” you cry. He only stares frustratedly as he walks into the space univinted.

“This was going to go on for too long if I hadn’t done something,” he says, approaching the side of your bed.

“You can’t just- fuck! What is wrong with you?”

Okay… this is already going poorly. 

This is not the reaction he had desired from you, and perhaps he should have revisited the idea of kicking in the door, but he had been growing impatient. Despite his big talk, he doesn’t like when you speak to him in such a cold way. He doesn’t like being separated from you. He doesn’t like not being able to see your face, and after all the work he has just done to collect these plants for you, he can not tolerate being turned away. 

“Must you be so dramatic?” he tsks. “Do you not see what I have brought to you? Don’t you humans like these things?”

You stare at him incredulously, mouth agape. Sukuna can see the tear stains clear on your face, and his heart clenches again. God, why is that sight so abominable? 

He holds his arms out, presenting the flowers to you as if you could have possibly missed them. “They are yours. Take them and be done with this.”

“Be done with what, Sukuna?” you shake your head, face scrunched.

“With your tantrum- your tears, and the sniffles. Be done with them now. Here.”

You scoff. “Do you even know why you're giving these to me?”

Sukuna raises a brow. “To cease your tantrum. As I just said.”

“I can’t with you sometimes, Sukuna. Honestly.” 

“This is really the thanks that I get for bringing you these damn flowers? I thought you were supposed to like things like this. Why would you make me waste my time?”

“If you think it’s a fucking waste of time to bring me flowers, then there’s your problem right there,” you raise your voice, pointing at him accusingly. Sukuna’s face hardens. He thinks you’re getting angry again, but he can still see the sadness behind your eyes. You look almost… defeated. “And if you knew me at all, you’d know that I never cared about any of that stuff. I never cared about the flashiness or the gifts or whatever the fuck.”

Sukuna lowers his hands, letting the bouquets drop carelessly to the floor. “Now you are accusing me of not knowing you?” he seethes. “I’m not sure when you decided that it was acceptable for you to speak to me this way, but I will not tolerate it. I do nothing but dote on you, you ungrateful brat.”

“Yeah, sure, you dote on me, and then you turn around and berate me and call everything I feel stupid because you don’t care to even try to understand why some of the things you say are not okay!”

Sukuna walks closer to invade your personal space, leaning in to glare angrily at you as you do the same. This is what he knows. This is what he chooses to respond to. Not the curl in your brow, not the tremble of your lips, not the unsteadiness of your voice, but your anger. “Why should I care if all you do is whine,” he grumbles. 

You clamp your mouth shut as a lump forms in your throat. Sukuna watches you unravel before him, and while he tries to keep an unmoved expression, he is internally panicking when he sees your eyes gloss over again and your nose flare. 

Shit. He’s supposed to be making you feel better. How has he gone and made things worse again? Why is he incapable of understanding how to be what you want him to be?

You take in a trembling inhale as your hands clench and unclench at your sides. You don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to call you weak, but you can’t help the tear that breaks past your lashes and dashes down your cheek, a physical display of your heartache. 

Sukuna’s crimson eyes fly to the tear, and his brows smooth out against his intent. 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You’re crying again, and it’s his fault. It’s always been his fault. What is this now that he’s feeling? Regret? Shame? Is that what is clawing at his chest and stripping him of his resolve? Making him wish to replay this entire interaction so that you do not appear before him with tears in your eyes once more? Is this what it is to fall? 

You rub angrily at your eyes and huff, turning away from him and plopping back down on your bed, back facing him. You shut yourself away, close yourself off, and deprive Sukuna of your pretty face for the second time today. “Just leave me alone. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t give a fuck about me or anything, for that matter.”

Sukuna’s eyes widen slightly with the deepening of his frown. That ache he has felt in his chest spreads throughout his body, serving as tension in his back, head, and shoulders. You think he doesn’t care for you? What nonsense. You’re the only being on this planet who has made a millennia of existence worth living, and you think he doesn’t care?

Sukuna can not even pin the blame onto you this time around. He can not accuse you of overreacting, nor can he evade such a thing that is so clearly his doing. He has made you feel uncared for, and while his temper may get out of hand, and his inability to fully comprehend the plagues of the human mind gets in the way, and he never tells you that he loves you, making you feel unloved is the last thing he ever meant to do. 

“Hey,” he mumbles, but you do not move. You cling to yourself for comfort because you do not believe he can provide any for you. “Brat-” he starts, but rethinks. He reaches his hand out to you. “(Y/n). Enough of this.”

“I don’t want to see you right now, Sukuna. Can’t you respect at least that for once?” you croak. 

His hand freezes and he lets it fall. Respect. Understanding. That is what you want from him, and he has not been giving it to you. He has not been giving you anything that you request of him emotionally, for that matter. He has been neglecting your mental needs whilst overpowering you with the physical, and it’s drawn you away from him. 

He could force you to get up. He could drag you by your hair to his bedroom. He could make you look him in the eye, make you stay with him, make you stay silent about this from this point on and forever more. Sukuna has the power and the authority to do so…

But the idea is not appealing. Not in the slightest.

Sukuna wants you happy. He wants you to want to be with him willingly, and if he ignores your consent now of all times, it would be like throwing away the life he has built with you. Throwing away your desires, and Sukuna does not long for a world in which you are any more uncomfortable than you already are. 

He takes a step back, looking over the flowers that he has dropped, and accepts the will of the mortal he fell in love with. 

“I will be in my chambers if or whenever you wish to see me,” he says lowly, giving in. He moves to leave but stops himself once more. He never had stopped himself this much before. “...I apologize for making you cry. I will send someone to fix your door immediately.”

Sukuna is well on his way when he hears you shuffling behind him. He turns, admittedly hopeful for your reaction, and finds you peeking in confusion over your shoulder. “...What did you just say?” you whisper.

The king of curses stalls, looking directly into your eyes from across the room. He feels suddenly… weak. Vulnerable. For the first time, he has relented his power for you to take hold of, and it feels strange to say the very least. “Do you wish for me to repeat myself?”

You sit up slowly, turning around. You knuckle at your red nose, watching him suspiciously. “I do. I may have misheard you.”

He studies you for a moment until he realizes that you are being facetious. “You heard me the first time.”

“Maybe I just want you to say it again.”

Sukuna sighs heavily. “I did not intend to make you cry, nor did I intend to make you feel as though I do not care for you. That is a foolish thought, but I understand I do not convey the depth of my feelings for you the way you wish me to convey it.”

You look dumbfounded as you stare at him in silence. Sukuna clicks his tongue, unsure of how you are going to respond. 

“Quit staring at me and say something, woman.”

“I just… never thought…” you trail off, swallowing harshly. “I never thought you would ever say something like that to me.”

“You will only hear me say such things when you are- when I’ve made you unhappy,” he clarifies firmly. Your nose twitches, an involuntary movement that Sukuna catches and finds entirely too adorable. Your eyes are still damp, but your breathing has evened out. 

“That’s the first,” you quip.

“Enough.”

You press your lips together, glancing at the flowers Sukuna brought you. Just then, you notice that they are your favorite. 

You tell yourself you knew what you were getting into when you first started dating the king of curses, but at times you forget that Sukuna is in fact a demon, and a king at that. He does not believe in any better than what he is.

“You hurt my feelings, Sukuna,” you say softly. “Don’t you get what that means? At least for me?”

“No,” he responds honestly. “But I do see now that you have different needs. And I understand that I refuse to watch you cry if there is something I can do about it.”

You try to remain angry with him. You try to keep yourself distanced, but you can not help the way that you are softening, and Sukuna notices. A hint of a smirk curves at the corner of his lips. 

“Is that all I had to say to make this better?”

“Shut the hell up,” you hiss. “It wouldn’t have killed you to apologize for the hundreds of other times we’ve fought, you know.”

“You weren’t crying the other times, woman.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you roll your eyes. 

Sukuna tilts his head, placing a hand on his hip. “You’re not still upset, are you?”

“Yes,” you pout, and he catches on.

“What is it you want now, to be pampered like a spoiled brat?” 

He makes the suggestion as if to offend you, but the two of you both know that he is hardly making a joke. “What I want is for you to fuck off.”

A chuckle rumbles in Sukuna’s throat as he makes his way over to you. You immediately break and screech when he yanks you forward by your ankle and loops you up into his arms before sitting down on your bed and setting you in his lap. 

He looks you dead in the eye and lifts a rough thumb, swiping stubbornly at your tear stains and your damp lashes. “Crybaby,” he mutters, and you swat his hand away.

“Whatever, asshole.” You push at his chest with weak contempt and he looks at you boredly.

“You’re pitiful,” he grumbles, gripping your chin securely and guiding it to him. His blood red eyes seep into yours, gazing intently. “No more tears, do you understand?”

“Then don’t make me sad.”

“I won’t,” he tells you confidently.

A smile twitches on your lips as you look over him, completely unfamiliar with this side of the king of curses. “Can you do one more thing for me, and then I’ll maybe think about forgiving you?” you bite your lip, pressing your finger to his broad shoulder.

Sukuna grunts. “More demands, huh? I suppose you know how to take advantage of a situation. What more do you want?”

You wrap your arms over his neck. “Tell me how much you care about me,” you sing. 

“Did I not just do so?”

“No, I want you to spell it out. Tell me you love me.”

“I highly tolerate you.”

“Tell me you loveeee me.”

“You are the only human being I do not frown upon.”

“Sukuna.”

“Christ, woman, you’re mine. Isn’t that enough?” he grits his teeth and you snort, patting his cheek gently. 

“For now.”

“Such a pest, you know that?” he mumbles, pushing in swiftly to press his lips firmly to yours in a swift peck. “Don’t ever say I don’t care for you again. It is the most false and offensive thing I have ever heard."

[witchywithwhiskey]

something brutal and beautiful

pairing: father's old friend!alpha!bucky barnes x omega!female reader

summary: when your car breaks down on the way to your parents' cabin, Bucky Barnes comes to your rescue. you end up staying in the unfamiliar alpha's cabin longer than you expected, with his far-too-enticing scent driving your omega wild. then, the atmosphere in the cabin shifts suddenly and the tension that's been building finally snaps.

warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), omegaverse AU elements (heat/rut, knotting, presenting, purring, mating, scenting), unspecified age gap, dad's best friend trope, smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, accidental voyeurism, masturbation (m), biting/marking, tit/nipple play, finger sucking, come play, panty sniffing, dirty talk, praise kink, daddy kink, pet names (alpha & omega, baby), begging, teasing, possessive behavior, happy ending

word count: 9k

a/n: here's my week 3 entry for @buckybarnesevents's Hot Bucky Summer event! y'all voted for older alpha Bucky Barnes, and i'm oh so happy to deliver him 🤭 this fic ended up being so much longer than i originally intended, but i just loooved drawing out Bucky and reader's torture. (also can y'all believe this is only the second omegaverse fic i've written?? should i write more???) anyway, i hope y'all enjoy!! ♡♡

prompt: “Not now!” | [Heat/Rut | Rushed Sex | Exhibitionism]

Hot Bucky Summer 2025 masterlist

It had been a long and brutal week. 

The only thing that could have made it longer and more brutal was if you’d gone into heat. But thankfully, your omega’s schedule had always been extremely punctual, and you weren’t due for another couple of weeks. Still, you’d been struggling.

You’d spent the week in a cabin tucked deep into the forest of the Adirondacks, staying in the home of your father’s friend, Bucky Barnes. The entire time, you’d been on edge and frustrated beyond belief. Not because the older alpha had done or said anything to make you uncomfortable. 

It was his scent.

Bucky smelled like fresh air and earthy moss, with an undertone of something warm, like leather. You’d never scented anything so delectable, and it had been driving you wild all week. 

That very first inhale had sent sparks of delight popping and fizzling through your bloodstream, settling pleasantly between your thighs in a thrumming heat. And it hadn’t stopped being an overwhelming distraction ever since.

To make matters worse, your father’s friend was devastatingly handsome. 

Even if he hadn’t smelled as good as he did, your body would’ve responded to his crystal blue eyes and the rugged dark scruff, with just a hint of gray, on his sharp jaw. His hair was a little long, meaning he had to push it back with his strong fingers, making the muscles in his shoulders and arms flex beneath his black t-shirt.

It had taken every ounce of your self-control not to make a fool of yourself in front of Bucky when he’d picked you up on the side of the road, where you were stranded about a hundred miles northwest of Albany. 

Your omega instincts had screamed at you to climb Bucky like a tree, but instead, you’d shyly waved hello and tried to pretend you weren’t affected by the older alpha who smelled far too delicious.

However, things only worsened when you got in his truck.

It was clear that Bucky’s scent had been embedded in every soft surface of his old pickup, and getting into the cab had felt like submerging yourself in fresh air, rich moss and warm leather. Your body was helpless to the alpha’s lingering smell, buzzing to life, an ache blooming between your thighs.

Even as you’d felt yourself getting turned on, you’d also felt inexplicably safe. The moment settled into the worn passenger seat, you felt the anxiety that had been plaguing you since Poughkeepsie drain from your shoulders, before disappearing entirely. 

The longer you breathed in Bucky’s scent, the more the warmth in your body morphed into an intense arousal, like nothing you’d ever experienced before. It was so strong, you’d had to press your thighs together and squirm in his passenger seat as inconspicuously as possible, trying to stave off the building ache in your core.

Once you’d buckled your seatbelt with trembling fingers, Bucky had asked if you were alright, waiting for your answer before he pulled back onto the road. You’d mumbled that you were fine even as heat filled your cheeks. 

You’d focused on staring down at your fingers tangled in your lap, reminding yourself why you couldn’t reach across the truck for him. He was your father’s friend, he was just helping you, he was practically a stranger—and you had no idea if he was reacting to your scent the way you were to his.

But as he drove you to his cabin, Bucky asked about the circumstances that led to you being stranded on the side of the road. You hadn’t wanted to be rude, but you’d kept your answers short. You didn’t trust yourself when you were surrounded so thickly by his scent, you might accidentally ask him to mount you in the backseat. 

Thankfully, Bucky didn’t seem bothered by your quick, murmured answers. His tone remained patient and low as he asked you question after question until he got the full, embarassing story out of you. 

You’d been on your way to your parents’ cabin, which was set on the same lake in upstate New York as Bucky’s, when your car had started making a terrible crunching sound. You’d already made it out of the city, though, and you hadn’t wanted to turn back, so you’d kept driving. 

That, of course, had been a mistake. 

Somewhere deep in the forest of the Adirondacks, your car had given up, puttering out immediately after you’d pulled onto the cracked asphalt of the narrow shoulder. With nothing around but the thick forest encroaching on the road, you hadn’t recognized where you were, and you’d been forced to call your parents and confess everything to them. 

It wasn’t just that you’d gotten yourself stranded somewhere between Albany and the lake, you also had to tell them your reasons for deciding, on a whim, to visit the cabin in the first place. 

You’d been laid off from your job in the city, you were fighting with your roommate over whether to stay in your apartment in Brooklyn, the city in the summer was too hot and suffocating. Everything was just too much, and you’d needed a break.

As they tried to comfort you about everything going wrong in your life, you couldn’t help but feel like your life had gone completely off course. You figured you might as well be stranded on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere New York, since that was exactly how you felt in life—stuck, without having any idea where to go. 

You tuned back into the conversation when your parents relayed the bad news: they weren’t at their cabin like you’d thought they’d be. They weren’t even in New York. They were staying with some friends out west, and they hadn’t been to the cabin all summer, so they hadn’t opened it up like they normally did at the start of the season. 

That had been when you’d really started crying. You began bawling your eyes out with only the creatures of the forest and the whispering wind dancing through the leaves to hear you. It was almost cathartic, if you could ignore the dire straits you’d found yourself in.

The sun was beginning to set, and fear started to creep in that you might end up having to walk to a strange town in the dark. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’d passed any sign of civilization. All you could think about was how there were too many horror movies that began with an omega in exactly your situation.

At that point, with both your parents trying desperately to get you to calm down, your father had gruffly suggested he call his old friend Bucky Barnes. You’d hardly listened while your parents conferred about that idea, then your mother continued trying to soothe you while your father called his friend. 

You’d wracked your brain for any memory of the older alpha, recognizing his name, but came up with nothing. You couldn’t even recall whether he’d ever attended one of the parties your parents had thrown at their cabin while you’d been growing up and in college. 

You’d asked your mother if you’d ever met him before and she’d said something vague about Bucky not being particularly sociable. He and your father were fishing buddies, she’d explained, but that was all she’d said before you heard your father’s voice in the background, telling you to wait right where you were. Bucky was on the way.

When you’d finished telling your story to Bucky, you were grateful he didn’t scold you for getting yourself stranded, or lecture you about the dangers of being an unmated omega lost somewhere in the Adirondacks. He’d only confirmed that the two of you had never met before, and offered you a reassuring smile.

Between Bucky’s low, rumbling voice, that gentle smile on his handsome face, and the scent of him surrounding you like a blanket, you’d felt calm and safe in a way you hadn’t in a long time. 

You were so comfortable, in fact, that you ended up falling asleep while he continued driving, your mind and body exhausted from the stress of the day and the last few weeks.

It wasn’t until you’d arrived at his cabin that you woke, the sun having slipped behind the trees as dusk fell. 

Bucky carried your bags inside while you stumbled after him, taking deep breaths of the fresh forest air before ducking inside the cabin, where his scent was ingrained in every inch of the wooden structure. It was everywhere, and you realized you’d missed it in the short time you’d been outside.

The delightful buzzing pleasure of that smell settled inside your head once again, sparks and tingles spreading through your body. With Bucky distracted by taking your bags into the guest room, you’d inhaled deeply, letting his smell relax you. And if you’d gotten more than a little turned on, too…Well, that you ignored as you took stock of the cabin. 

The house was set into the gentle slope that led down to the lake, with big windows to let in plenty of light. It allowed those inside to feel like they were immersed in the beautiful green foliage of the trees pushing up against the sides of the cabin. 

It was bigger inside than you’d expected for a lone alpha like Bucky. The cabin had a big, open living room and kitchen space that gave way to a hallway leading to a guest room, an office, a bathroom and a master bedroom. All of them were big and roomy, even as the cabin felt cozy and homey.

Once you were settled in the guest room, with a gorgeous view of the yard leading down to the dock and the lake, Bucky made you dinner and gave you even more bad news: your parents’ cabin wasn’t habitable yet. He’d explained it would only take a few days to get the power and water running, then you could go over and air it out. 

But the next morning, while Bucky was on the phone with the power company, he’d learned there was a downed line that only served your parents’ cabin. The company had put off repairing it because it hadn’t seemed like a priority, so it would take much longer than normal to restore power. He’d said you could stay with him until your parents’ cabin was ready.

You’d smiled tremulously and told Bucky it was fine. You’d thanked him for letting you stay with him, and asked if there was anything you could do around his cabin to help him out. You’d told him it was the least you could do while the two of you were trapped together.

But Bucky had shaken his head, a serious look on his face. He’d told you not to worry about helping out an old alpha like him. He’d said you should make yourself at home, choking on his words a little and needing to cough to clear his throat. Then he’d smiled, but you thought it looked a little strained.

After that, you and Bucky had done your best to keep your distance from each other. 

You’d avoided him because every time he was near, all you wanted to do was bury your face in his neck, breathe in his scent and rub yourself against him like a desperate omega in heat. You went to bed every night feeling frustrated and woke up every morning feeling achy and needy, so you stayed away from the older alpha. 

And Bucky had avoided you because… 

Well, you weren’t sure why Bucky was avoiding you. If you had to guess, it was probably because he could tell what a mess you were and didn’t want to get involved. He was a mature, responsible alpha who’d chosen a solitary life in the woods, and you were an unmated omega who’d accidentally gotten yourself stranded in those woods. 

You could understand why he wouldn’t want to be around you, even if it stung something in your heart and your omega hindbrain, both of which wanted to be close to him every moment of the day for some reason you couldn’t puzzle out.

After a week of staying in Bucky’s cabin, you’d found that the only way to avoid feeling like you were driving yourself up the walls was to stick to a schedule. You had breakfast while Bucky was getting ready for the day, then you waited for him to leave for work, and did everything you could to make sure you were never in the same room as him.

But then everything changed.

The Friday after you’d found yourself trapped in a cabin with the older alpha, you woke up as normal—feeling the near-constant desire flickering insistently between your thighs while you did your best to ignore it. It had been hard not to pleasure yourself in Bucky’s guest room, but you’d wanted to respect his home.

That morning, for some reason, it was harder than it had been to resist slipping your fingers between your thighs and rubbing yourself to release. You hadn’t gotten used to Bucky’s scent and it seemed to urge you on, but you kept your desire in check.

You chalked it up to the long, brutal week staying in Bucky’s cabin and forced yourself to get out of bed. It was early in the morning and you had Bucky’s routine memorized well enough that you knew you could slip out and make breakfast while he was getting ready to leave.

Normally, you would’ve been able to hear him in the shower and puttering around his room while he got dressed, but that morning, the cabin was curiously quiet. You didn’t think much of it as you made yourself some eggs and toast, and by the time you were done eating, you’d decided he must’ve left extra early that morning. 

You were enjoying having the kitchen to yourself, sipping your coffee and reading a romance novel about a forbidden love between an older alpha and a younger omega, when you felt the energy in the cabin shift. Your body tensed, as if your omega instincts knew something your mind still hadn’t figured out.

Then Bucky’s scent hit you anew; its effects were immediate—and staggering. 

A gasp tore from your lips, but you barely even heard it over the desire surging through your body. Bucky’s scent was suddenly somehow more potent, more delicious, making your mouth water with the urge to suck his cock.

Beneath the thin sleep shirt you wore, your nipples puckered almost painfully, your tits feeling heavy with the need to be groped, to be squeezed, to be sucked. And even that feeling paled in comparison to the thumping pulse between your thighs, your clit aching for attention as slick dripped from your slit, soaking your panties in seconds.

You whimpered pitifully, setting your coffee mug down with shaking hands, some of the brown liquid sloshing over the rim and spilling onto Bucky’s butcher block countertop. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the mess—not when you were overcome with a need that you instinctively knew only the older alpha could sate.

For a brief, panicked second, you worried you were going into heat. But your body felt different than it normally did when your heat was coming on. There weren’t any painful cramps in your lower belly as your body yearned for a knot, and, most tellingly, you didn’t feel like flames were licking beneath your skin.

You decided what you were feeling was something else, but you didn’t know what. 

Your fingers gripped the edge of the kitchen island where you’d sat to eat your breakfast, nails digging so deep into the wooden grain that it was verging on painful. Your mind felt sluggish as you tried to figure out what was happening to you, but you kept getting distracted thinking about Bucky’s broad shoulders, and his scruffy jaw and his beautiful blue eyes. 

Without you realizing it, your hips had begun to rock on the barstool you were perched on, your thighs spread wide so you could rub your pussy into the seat. With a desperate whine, you forced yourself to stop, your head hanging between your arms as breaths sawed in and out of your chest.

There was nothing else you could do—you had to find Bucky and hope he knew what was happening to you, and why his scent was so strong. 

Your omega cheered at the thought of getting closer to Bucky, and you let those instincts guide you as you stumbled through the cabin. 

Belatedly, you realized you were heading toward his bedroom, and it wasn’t until your hand was raising to knock on his door that you figured out you were wrong earlier—Bucky hadn’t already left, he’d still been in his room. Doing what, you had no idea.

Biting back a needy keening sound, you rapped your knuckles urgently on the door, trying to ignore the way your slick was leaking down your thighs. Your panties and sleep shorts were soaked with your juices, and the cotton was sticking to your warm skin so unpleasantly, you had the urge to yank them off, but you managed to fight against it.

“Not now!”

Bucky’s roared words sent a delicious shiver down your spine, making your nipples ache so badly for attention that your hand lifted and you began kneading one of your tits while your dazed mind struggled to process what the older alpha had said. 

When you did, your head fell forward, hitting the door with a light thunk. A helpless sound slipped from your lips and your thighs pressed together as you squirmed in the hallway outside Bucky’s bedroom, your body making it impossible for you to heed the warning in the alpha’s tone. 

“Please, alpha,” you sobbed, pressing yourself against the door and scratching at the wood helplessly with your nails. You hardly knew what you were begging for—whether you just wanted into Bucky’s room or if you were already pleading with him to fuck you. But you knew you needed something only he could give you.

There was a vicious grunt on the other side of the door, and your omega hindbrain read it as an invitation before you could even fully take in the sound. Acting on instinct, your hand fumbled for the doorknob and you pushed into Bucky’s room. 

The sight that met you made you gasp sharply, your feet stumbling to a stop in the threshold of his room.

Bucky sat on the edge of his bed facing the door, his naked body bathed in the morning sunlight streaming in from the windows overlooking the lake. There wasn’t a stitch of clothing on the big alpha, and your eyes raked over him hungrily, unabashedly taking in the way his muscles bulged, veins snaking down his taut forearms. 

There was a sheen of sweat on Bucky’s golden skin, and his big, broad shoulders were hunched. But even with his body curled the way it was, you could still see his thick, fat cock standing proud between his tree-trunk thighs. 

The scent of him hit you again, almost making your eyes roll back in your head, but you refused to tear your gaze from the sight of Bucky’s cock. It was so perfect, it made you light-headed. And then you noticed Bucky was moving.

The older alpha had one massive hand fisted around his hard length, his grip punishing as he stroked his cock. The tip was an angry, flushed red as it leaked an endless stream of precum, which Bucky used to stroke himself, the soft, slick sounds resonating in the room.

It was only when a growl tore from Bucky’s throat that you glanced up at his face. 

His handsome face was contorted in a mask of feral lust, his teeth bared and jaw ticking like he was grinding his teeth together. But his eyes—his blue eyes were wild and tortured, staring at you like you were his salvation and his ruination all at once.

“You shouldn’t be here, omega,” Bucky growled, his words so rough you could barely understand them. But once you did, your body trembled with rebellion.

Clinging to the edge of the doorframe, it took every ounce of your self-control not to drop to your knees and present yourself to the alpha. All you could think about was his cock filling your cunt, the base swelling with his knot as he fucked you until the two of you were nothing more than rutting animals.

Suddenly, you knew what was happening. 

“Are you—are you going into rut?” you asked, the breathiness of your voice making you sound more excited than incredulous. In all your years as an omega, you’d never actually seen an alpha go into rut. It was rare, something that usually only happened between true matches…

“Can’t be,” Bucky rumbled, his voice dragging you out of your thoughts. “I’m too old for that.” He was still stroking his cock, grunts of pleasure slipping from his mouth like he couldn’t help himself. His shoulders heaved as he took a deep breath, as if trying to gather his wits, but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

Bucky’s shoulders went rigid, and something about watching his big body tense made your own inner muscles clench. 

You cunt was throbbing between your thighs in time with your racing heart, and your thighs were so coated in slick, you distantly wondered if you’d start leaving a puddle in Bucky’s doorway. 

But then the older alpha’s eyes flew open, pinning you where you stood with the intensity of his gaze.

“Omega,” Bucky groaned, the sheer hunger in his voice washing over you like a wave of warm water. His fist started stroking faster, and he made a choked, frustrated sound in his throat, like it wasn’t enough. Like nothing would be enough—except you.

Your feet carried you forward as if they had a mind of their own, your body drifting beyond the threshold of the room and closer to the grunting, growling alpha. 

He looked magnificent, even hunched the way he was. The bright sunlight brought out the silver in his dark beard, and you wanted to bury your face right under his jaw, inhaling his scent while your rode his cock.

“You should go,” Bucky rumbled, trying to force some steel into his voice, but you could hear the desperation hidden behind the alpha’s bravado. 

If he’d really wanted you to leave, he could’ve barked the order. But he hadn’t, leaving you able to disobey. So you drifted even closer, enticed by the scent of him and the sight of his big alpha cock.

You came to a stop in front of Bucky, standing just out of his reach. There, you wavered. 

You didn’t want to take advantage of Bucky when he wasn’t in his right mind. Sure, there was a haze of lust that had settled thickly over your mind as well, and you hardly felt like you had full control of your body, but you were more lucid.

“Let me help you, Bucky,” you murmured pleadingly, ducking down a little and catching his eye. You kept your expression open and honest, showing the alpha your desire to help. “You’ve been so kind to me, I just want to help you in return.”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say because Bucky reared back like you’d slapped him. His hand came to a rest at the base of his cock, fisting himself tightly where he his knot would inflate. Your cunt gave an answering squeeze at the sight, but you forced yourself to ignore the aching, desperate need in your body.

“No,” he roared, his face twisting into a furious expression. “They trusted me to take care of you, ‘m not going to take advantage of you—I’m not some savage alpha who ruts unwilling omegas.” 

Bucky was spitting mad, the fury only managing to make him look even more gloriously handsome, and it took you a moment to understood what he’d said.

“What if I want you to rut me?” you asked, the words tumbling from your lips before you could think better of them. But when they had the desired effect of softening the edges of Bucky’s anger, even if it was only replaced with confusion, you pressed on. “I’m ready and willing, Bucky, I want to see you through your rut—please.”

Following your instincts, you lifted the hem of your oversized sleep shirt, showing Bucky how your slick had drenched your shorts and was coating your thighs. You trailed your fingers through the wetness on your soft skin, then held your hand out to the alpha, letting him see the way your slick glistened in the bright morning sunlight.

“We shouldn’t—I shouldn’t,” Bucky ground out through his clenched jaw, but there was a clearer tone of a desperation in his voice, like he was trying to convince himself more than you. 

His eyes were flicking between your slick-coated fingers and your eyes, his fist working his cock again. You let your hand drift closer to Bucky’s face, letting him scent the arousal in your juices, and his eyes rolled back in his head. 

With a furious grunt, he continued speaking.

“I shouldn’t rut your sweet pussy until my knot’s buried deep in your cunt and you’re soaking my balls with your scent—fuck,” he growled, roughly working his cock between his thick thighs. “Your scent, baby, it’s been driving me wild. I can’t—I shouldn’t…”

Taking a tentative step closer, you dragged your fingers through the slick between your thighs again and held them out to Bucky, waving them in front of his mouth, below his nose, making him smell you. 

“I want this, Bucky,” you promised. But even as you said the words, you worried it wouldn’t be enough, so you let the full truth spill from your lips. “I’ve wanted your knot since the second I got in your truck. Please, alpha, please rut me.”

Bucky lunged from the bed, moving so fast you barely had time to gasp before his big hands were catching you around the backs of your thighs and hauling you into his lap as he sat back down. One of his hands settled on your lower back, holding you in place, while the other circled your wrist and brought your fingers to his mouth.

The older alpha let out an obscene groan when he tasted your slick, the sound going straight to your clit and making a whine build in your throat. 

Bucky licked your skin clean, his hot tongue snaking between your fingers and making you think about where else you’d like to feel it—on your neck, on your nipples, on the slit between your thighs…

“Alpha,” you whimpered, squirming on Bucky’s lap as you sought friction but found none. His cock was trapped between your belly and the softly padded muscle of his stomach, so far away from where you needed him that you whined sharply.

With a pop, Bucky pulled your fingers from his mouth, and for a brief, fleeting moment the two of you simply stared into each other’s eyes. 

Bucky’s pupils were blown so wide they were blotting out nearly all of the blue in his eyes, and you could see the feral hunger of his alpha’s rut beginning to take over. Somehow, it only made him hotter, to see the older man so on the verge of losing control. 

It called to the omega deep in your hindbrain, the part of you that wanted to be taken—to be rutted and knotted on an alpha’s cock until you were nothing more than base animal instinct. You could feel a wildness brewing in your chest, your breaths coming in sharp pants as you and Bucky hovered on the edge of something brutal and beautiful.

You didn’t know who kissed who first, all you knew was that the tension between you and Bucky snapped, and then his lips were crashing down on yours, and you were moaning as the taste of him exploded on your tongue. 

The fresh air and earthy moss and warm leather made you feel like you were taking a deep breath of a forest breeze. You could taste your own slick, too, which only drove you more wild.

Bucky’s kiss was messy and filthy, all snapping teeth and untethered desire. There was no finesse to the way Bucky’s mouth claimed yours, it was pure alpha dominance. He was rough and uncompromising as his tongue plunged past your lips to devour your mouth, a harsh growl rumbling in his chest as his bearded jaw worked against yours.

All the while, you met Bucky’s ferocity with your own fierceness, sucking on his tongue and wringing a groan from the big alpha that had him kissing you even harder, bending you backwards until you hung suspended above his spread thighs. 

The only thing that stopped you from toppling off his lap entirely were his hands pressed firmly against your back, holding you crushed to the softly padded muscle of his chest. 

Your nails dug into Bucky’s broad shoulders, reveling in the way his skin was hot to the touch, matching the heat blooming and throbbing between your thighs. Your hips squirmed on Bucky’s lap until you felt the thick, hard length of his cock press into your core. 

Even through your sleep shorts and panties, Bucky felt exquisitely perfect. His cock was hard and throbbing, his own precum mixing with the juices coating your skin. 

Your scents were mingling and turning into something new—something that was so intoxicating it went straight to your head, making you achier and needier even as it gave you a sense of soul-deep satisfaction. You were too distracted, though, to think about what that meant.

A keening whine worked its way up your throat, and Bucky swallowed it down with an answering growl, like he felt it too—felt how perfect you were together. It made you cling to him harder, your hands sliding up his shoulders and burying your fingers in his soft brown hair.

The kiss broke just as suddenly as it started, with Bucky wrenching his mouth away from yours to tear at your sleep shirt. You helped him pull it over your head and then his mouth was on you again, his big hands roaming all over your bare skin. 

Every graze of his roughened palms over the curves of your body had you moaning mindlessly into his mouth until he could barely kiss you anymore. 

His mouth hovered close to yours and you both panted against each other’s lips, his groans blending with your breathy whimpers while he learned the feel of your body.

Bucky’s hands grabbed at your hips, pulling you deeper into his lap until your cunt was pressed flush to his cock through your clothes, leaving you to rock against his hardness while his hands wandered up your back, fingers tracing the vertebrae of your spine. 

He brushed his thumbs teasingly against the sides of your tits, and when you keened pitifully, he relented and groped your soft mounds. A feral grin stole across his handsome face when he plucked at your nipples, pinching them between his fingers so harshly, he made you let out another desperate whine. 

He kept playing with your tits until you were a writhing mess of need on his lap. Only when you were on the verge of tears did Bucky take pity on you.

“Get those shorts and panties off and present for your alpha,” Bucky growled, turning and tossing you down on top of the mussed blankets of his bed. 

He got to his feet, towering over you and watching you while he pumped his cock in one hand. He stared down at you with so much hunger, it made your pussy clench, aching for his knot.

But you didn’t let the magnificent sight of the older alpha standing naked in all his brutal glory distract you for long, not when he’d issued an order that you were all too eager to follow. 

With scrabbling fingers, you pushed your panties and shorts down over your hips, tearing them off your legs. Before you could toss them somewhere in the room, Bucky held out his free hand and you gave him the drenched mess of tangled fabric. 

The older alpha brought the bundle to his face, pressing the soaked cotton right against his mouth and nose then taking a deep breath. 

A rumbling growl echoed in his chest, the sound going straight between your thighs as you stared at the hottest thing you’d ever seen—Bucky inhaling the scent of your slick straight from your panties.

“I’ve been dreaming about your scent all week, baby,” he rumbled gruffly, his eyes at half mast as he continued stroking his cock, even more precum leaking from the tip. It was so hot, you were frozen where you were, unable to look away. 

Bucky’s gaze was hazy and unfocused as he stared down at you, looking like he was completely undone, and it was your smell that had him looking that way. The knowledge of how much power your scent had over the alpha made your omega preen, a smirk fluttering around the corners of your mouth.

“Been thinking about burying my face in your sweet cunt and drowning in your scent,” he went on, like he was confessing his sins. “Been thinking about having you soak my beard with your slick and then fucking you so good you come on my knot—want to be so wrapped in your scent that I never get it out of my head.”

Your body clenched hard at Bucky’s words, a moan spilling from your lips as you felt more slick leak from your hole. You didn’t know how Bucky was holding himself together while going into rut when you were on the verge of losing it and demanding he knot you. But it reminded you of his order.

In a rush, you scrambled onto your hands and knees to get into position. You lowered your shoulders to the bed, burying your face in the blankets and breathing in his scent just as deeply as he’d done with your panties. Moss and leather swirled in your head, making you moan into the sheets. 

Then you were arching your spine and pushing your ass high in the air. You presented your aching pussy to the older alpha, whining to get his attention. “Alpha, please!”

Bucky’s gaze sharpened and snapped to you, his eyes going molten hot when he saw how you were positioned on his bed, head down on the blankets, ass in the air, cunt on display for him. A lazy smile curled his lips and he dropped your panties and shorts to the floor, moving to you.

“Good omega,” Bucky purred, climbing onto the bed behind you, his big hands stroking over your ass and hips and thighs. “You look so pretty presenting for your alpha—you gonna be a good girl and help me through my rut, huh?”

A happy hum thrummed in your throat and you nodded, watching Bucky over your shoulder. He was transfixed by your body, his eyes following his hands as they roved over your curves. He grabbed big handfuls of your ass, kneading you so roughly, you could hear the quiet, wet sounds of your pussy lips pulling apart. 

As he groped your ass, Bucky pressed his cock firmly against your pussy, so you could feel the hot, hard length of him against your soft, dripping folds. He rocked hard into you, holding your ass in place so you had nowhere to go while he was grinding his cock against your cunt, coating his shaft in your slick.

His eyes were growing more hazy and unfocused by the second, but before Bucky could go into full-blown rut, he wrenched his gaze away from the sight of his cock pressed against your pussy, and caught your eye over your shoulder.

“You sure about this, omega?” Bucky asked, his voice strong and steady even as you heard that undercurrent of desperation in his tone. 

His eyes searched yours, and you could see the strain in his face. It was taking everything in him to stop himself from following his instincts so he could check on you. 

“I can manage on my own if you want to stop,” he promised.

You couldn’t explain your body’s reaction to Bucky’s words, but the fact that he was still, even on the verge of going into rut, putting your needs above his own had heat licking beneath your skin. It was a pleasant, glorious warmth that wrapped around your heart and soul, making you even more sure about your decision.

“Please, Bucky, I want this so bad, you don’t even know,” you murmured pleadingly, arching your back and presenting yourself even more. You pushed against his hold to press back against his cock, reminding him of your eagerness. “I want you to fuck me, alpha, please.”

“Alright, alright, baby,” Bucky rasped, ducking down and capturing your lips in a quick brutal kiss before he was sitting up again. One of his hands grabbed your hip while the other fisted his cock and rubbed the head through your dripping folds. “Hold on then, ‘mega. Once ‘m inside you, I’ll go into full-on rut.”

Bucky’s eyes were dark, even in the bright light of the sunshine streaming into his bedroom, and you could sense him hesitating. He seemed stuck on the edge of pushing into you and finally—finally—satisfying the need burning through both your bodies. 

You realized he needed another little push, something more than reassurance.

Reaching back, you wrapped your fingers around Bucky’s wrist, clinging onto the strong arm holding your hip. You gave him a squeeze and caught his eye when he looked at you in question. 

You let a smirk curve your lips, his only warning for what was about to come out of your mouth.

“C’mon, old man,” you said, your voice cheeky and playful as you grinned up at Bucky. “Rut your omega good and hard, alpha—I can take it.” You gave him an insolent wink, and he finally snapped.

Bucky’s eyes burned into yours and a feral grin slashed across his face. “My omega,” he growled, right before thrusting into your pussy, burying his cock deep in your tight heat with one, brutal stroke.

A scream burst from your lips as pleasure detonated within you. 

Bucky’s cock was so thick and hard inside you, filling you up so perfectly and making you stretch to accommodate his heavy length. The veins dragged exquisitely against your sensitive inner walls, the tip hitting a spot deep in your pussy.

It all set off sparks of delicious pleasure that went spiraling through your body. You gasped for air, barely knowing what was up or down, only your fingers around Bucky’s wrist and his cock buried in your cunt keeping you tethered to earth.

Above you, Bucky purred in satisfaction, pleased with the way your pussy wrapped around him tightly. And then you felt his rut take hold. 

The alpha barely gave you a moment to adjust before he was pounding into you, his hips pulling back until only the head of his cock remained inside. Then he plowed forward, filling you up all over again and again and again.

You were helpless to the alpha, your body going weak and pliant in his hold, giving in to the ferocious power in Bucky’s thrusts. 

All you could do was moan and mewl, your fingers still clinging to his wrist while he fucked you so hard and fast, your body and mind were lost in a dizzying, endless dance of pleasure.

“My omega—my beautiful, perfect omega,” Bucky growled, his words spilling from his mouth almost mindlessly. “So hot and wet for your alpha, baby, you’re squeezing my cock so tight. Ya want your alpha to rut you and knot your perfect cunt, don’t you, ‘mega?”

Bucky curled his body over yours, engulfing you in his heat and scent. His hand shifted from your hip, fingers tangling with yours and pressing it into the soft blankets next to your head. 

Twisting your body, you grabbed Bucky’s beard and pulled him down for a kiss that was all nipping teeth and soothing tongues. It was brutal and beautiful in equal measure, just like the joining of your bodies.

“You want to be mine, don’t you, baby?” Bucky rumbled against your mouth, a self-satisfied smirk curling the corners of his lips. 

“Yes, yes, god yes, alpha,” you cried, taking his pounding thrusts with your face half buried in his blankets. 

With every stroke of his cock inside you, you could feel the beginning of his knot catching at the edge of your hole, making you whine and squirm dumbly beneath him. You needed him so badly, you babbled unthinkingly.

“Want you so bad, alpha, want you to split me open on your fat, alpha knot and claim me as yours—please, daddy!”

That last word, the one you’d only thought about in your most secret fantasies, slipped out so easily in the face of the overwhelming pleasure Bucky was giving you. 

And even through the haze of your ecstasy, you felt his cock twitch inside you and hips stutter in their rhythm. Then he was moving faster and harder. 

“Oh fuck,” Bucky growled, his mouth right next to your ear, his coarse beard tickling your neck. “Say that again, baby—call your alpha that filthy name again.” 

“Daddy,” you cried, shoving your hips back to meet Bucky’s thrusts, stars bursting behind your eyes as the tip of him pounded into a spot deep inside you. 

The growl that rumbled in his chest was pleased, and it urged you on, emboldened you to continue calling him that dirty word.

“Knot me, daddy,” you begged, your voice thin and pitiful, which only made Bucky fuck you harder with his cock. “Rut your omega’s pussy and fill me with your come—please, alpha, please, I need it!”

“Fuck, baby, you’re such a perfect omega for your alpha,” he rumbled, pressing messy kisses to your cheek and jaw before trailing down to your neck. “You’re gonna get daddy’s knot, ‘m gonna fill you up so good, baby.” 

His filthy words were a promise that he sealed by scraping his teeth teasingly over your throat.

You tipped your head to the side, not even a little bit concerned that he could bite you, break skin, and cement a bond between the two of you even though you’d only met a week ago. 

You weren’t worried, you trusted Bucky. You trusted him not to bite you without your consent, even if your body was asking for it. 

He chuckled into the curve of your neck, sucking on your skin hard enough that even if he didn’t bite you, you knew he’d leave a mark behind. The idea of him claiming you in that way had you grinning happily, an omega purr rumbling in your chest. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby,” Bucky murmured into your skin, his voice rough with pleasure and something else, an emotion that tugged on your heart and had your fingers squeezing his where they were still tangled together. “My omega, my sweet, beautiful, perfect omega.”

Your body clenched around Bucky’s cock and tears of swelling emotion sprang to your eyes. You dragged him to you for a deep kiss, your entangled fingers curling in his beard. 

His mouth was softer, even as his hips picked up their pace, the older alpha rutting into you faster and harder.

Bucky lost himself entirely to his instincts, babbling gruff, barely intelligible words about how perfect you were and how good you were to him. 

He mumbled a litany of filthy promises, telling you he was going to fill you with his knot and his seed and keep you impaled on his cock while he flooded your cunt until you were overflowing with his come.

Even through the haze of his rut, you could still feel your alpha in the tenderness of his touch and the care Bucky had for you. 

Though he was rough and wild, he never hurt you, pushing you to the brink of a pleasure that was so brutal and beautiful, you weren’t sure you’d survive it. But you trusted Bucky to guide you through it safely.

When he was close, Bucky’s fingers slipped beneath your body and pushed between your thighs until he found your clit. He rubbed your sensitive bud in tight, merciless circles, making you shudder and clench around his cock, pushing you closer to the edge of your own release.

“Come, omega, come on your alpha’s cock,” Bucky growled in your ear, his hips grinding his cock deep in your pussy as he rutted your cunt. “Be a good girl for daddy, and come, baby.” 

It was too much. Bucky felt too good, his thick cock filling you too perfectly and pressing against that spot deep inside you. 

You were helpless to his rubbing fingers and filthy words, flying over the edge of your release and screaming your pleasure into the blankets of your alpha’s bed. 

Bucky followed right after you, grunting and growling through his release. He bit down on the curve of your shoulder, careful not to break skin and cement a mating bond even as he came. 

The feeling of his blunt teeth sinking into your skin sent another wave of white-hot ecstasy through your body, and Bucky groaned when your pussy clenched around him even tighter.

Bucky’s cock twitched inside you, flooding you with his come as his knot began to swell. It inflated quickly, and you gasped at the feeling of his knot plugging your pussy, locking you together while you rode out your releases. 

Gradually, the waves of euphoria began to recede. But still, you felt heat licking beneath your skin, starting from where your body was connected to Bucky and flowing through the rest of your limbs.

At first, you thought it was the beginning of renewed pleasure, your omega instincts responding to Bucky’s rut by readying for another round. But then you felt a gush of slick between your thighs and your cunt clenched down greedily on Bucky’s cock, like your pussy was trying to suck him and his knot even deeper. 

The alpha’s body was still curled around yours and he grunted at the feeling of you squeezing his cock. Shifting and dragging his nose up the side of your throat, he buried his face in your neck and took a deep breath, his body going still at whatever he noticed in your scent.

“Are you due for your heat, baby?” Bucky asked carefully, his voice clearer than it had been while he was in the throes of his rut. 

He sounded so calm, his voice so low and delicious it took you a moment to understand what he’d asked.

“I—I shouldn’t be,” you stammered, confusion fighting against the warmth filtering through your body. Already, you had the urge to arch your back and beg Bucky to fuck you again, just like you would if you were in heat. “I’m not due for a few weeks.”

Before you could even properly protest the idea that you were going into heat, Bucky’s knot deflated enough for him to slip from your pussy. A gush of fluid spilled from your hole, but the two of you were too shocked to pay any attention to that because your bodies had proved you wrong.

Alpha biology was so well attuned to an omega’s that if they were in heat, the alpha’s knot would deflate faster than normal, and their refractory period would speed up, making sure they were able to attend to their omega’s heightened sex drive. 

Bucky’s cock was already hard again, the shaft brushing against your pussy between your thighs. And your skin was burning up, so the warmth of Bucky’s body became almost cool to your touch. 

Everything was pointing to you going into heat, but you still couldn’t quite wrap your mind around it.

Gently, Bucky turned you over onto your back and settled between your thighs, his big hands encouraging your legs to hook around his hips. His thick cock nestled against your soft, swollen pussy while he dug his arms under your back, holding you cradled against his chest, his face hovering above yours.

“Hey, are you ok?” he asked in a soft, gentle tone. He ducked his head to catch your eye, but you were staring unseeingly through him, trying to make it all make sense.

“Does this mean we’re…” you began to ask, your voice trailing off as the words stuck in your throat. 

They were trapped by the hope bottling up in your chest. You wanted to sure about what was happening before you let your emotions loose, let the elation fly free and whisk you away to the life you’d never dared to dream about.

But where Bucky had been hesitant before, he was steady and sure in the face of your uncertainty. A smile flirted at the edges of his mouth and he captured your lips in a quick kiss before he finished your question for you.

“True matches?” 

At those words, your eyes suddenly focused and searched for him. Your body settled instinctively when your gaze met Bucky’s, and his smile turned affectionate as he stared down at you, stroking your cheek fondly with his thumb. 

“Yeah, baby, it means we’re each other’s true match,” he said, seemingly happy to help you understand what was happening. “Only an alpha’s true match can trigger a rut, and only an omega’s true match can spark their heat.”

Bucky gave you a moment to soak in his words, waiting patiently while his thumb traced your lips. His big hand was cupping your face so reverently, it nearly brought tears to your eyes, and you stared up into the alpha’s gaze. 

Seeing the open affection on his handsome face finally got through to you.

Bucky Barnes was yours. He was your true match, the one alpha in all the world who was meant to be yours. And you were his. 

It was why his scent smelled so good to you, why you’d felt so drawn to him, and why you’d been so frustrated by him avoiding you all week. It was why you’d rebelled when he’d pushed you away when you wanted to help him through his rut.

That realization made you snort a laugh, which had surprise dancing across his features, a question in the furrow of his brow. 

“And you thought you could fight this,” you said, your voice wavering with laughter before you dissolved in a fit of giggles. 

A rumbling chuckle came from Bucky as he waited for you to get ahold of yourself. You were still laughing helplessly when his mouth found yours in a slow, sweet kiss. 

The laughter finally died in your throat and your fingers tangled in Bucky’s hair, kissing him back for all you were worth. His beard scraped against your cheeks and you delighted in the feeling, your pussy throbbing between your thighs.

“Mm, you really are mine, aren’t you, baby?” Bucky murmured against your lips after slowing the kiss and pulling away slightly. His blue eyes shimmered with affection and hunger as he stared down at you. 

“Yeah, Bucky, I’m yours,” you answered in a voice so full of happiness it was practically a purr. “And you’re mine, alpha.”

“Damn fucking right,” Bucky growled. He dove back down for another, deeper kiss, plunging his tongue into your mouth and tangling with yours. 

It wasn’t long before the heat simmering beneath your skin became too insistent to ignore, and you whined into Bucky’s mouth. Your hips rocked beneath the older alpha’s bigger body, grinding your cunt against his hard, twitching cock and coating him with a new layer of your slick.

“Please, alpha, I need you to knot me,” you whimpered pitifully, fingers digging into the strong muscles of his back. “Fuck me, Bucky—rut your omega and fill me up, daddy, please!” 

“Don’t worry, baby,” Bucky said, shushing you gently as his hand slipped between your bodies. 

He guided his cock back into your pussy, sliding deep into your tight heat while you moaned into each other’s mouths. 

“Your alpha’s gonna take good care of you, ‘mega,” he promised. “Just be a good girl for daddy and take my cock.”

Then Bucky was fucking you, hard and deep, rutting into your cunt with all the ferocious power of an alpha. It was glorious, pleasure spiraling through your body as you met his every thrust. 

After that, you succumbed to your heat, your omega giving in to your alpha and letting him take care of you.

For the next few days, you and Bucky barely left his room while he attended to your every need, whether that was filling you up with his knot or getting you to eat and drink some water. It was a haze of warmth and pleasure, and by the time your heat broke, you were wrung out and exhausted.

Bucky tucked you into his chest, holding you tight against his body as he purred and soothed his hand up and down your spine, urging you to sleep. You fell asleep quickly, excited to wake up rested and begin your life with your alpha, your true match, your love.

The journey of finding your way to Bucky Barnes may have begun with a long and brutal week of frustration and unsatisfied need, but you were excited to build something beautiful with him—something that would last for the rest of your lives.

Hot Bucky Summer 2025 masterlist

[sukunasweetheart]

Sukuna, a middle aged man jaded by the harsh realities of his life. He steps outside for a smoke nearby a convenience store, completely bored out of his mind.

A lady is handing out flyers nearby, although nobody is bothering to look her way, including sukuna himself.

You approach the man who's getting irritated by the lighter that refuses to work in his hand.

"Hello there, sir. Would you be interested in taking up classes for arts and craft?" You offer the cute flyer up.

Sukuna scoffs. Is she serious?

"No thanks."

"Are you sure? You look like you could use a bit more colour in your life."

He's too exhausted at this point to get angry at a random woman on the street.

"...You're not too far off, i suppose," sukuna mutters, still trying to get the spark to stay on his lighter. "Even so, I'm not interested in the likes of arts and craft. Do i look like a child to you?"

You withdraw your offer of your flyer, and inspect him for a moment.

"Arts and craft can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of age. But moving past that... you seem a bit down. If you'd like to confide in a stranger for a night, I'm happy to listen."

What a strange, persistent woman. Sukuna gives up on his lighter, and takes out the unlit cigarette in his mouth to think back for a moment. One thing does come to mind.

"I'm not feeling down. But i remembered something, now that i think about it..." he confesses, feeling weirdly compelled to tell you about it.

"Today is supposed to be my birthday."

Birthdays have never been special to him. Nobody celebrated his birth as a child, and in turn, he's never paid attention to the birthdays of others.

"Oh, happy birthday. Are you doing anything special for yourself today?"

"No. I've never cared for birthdays. And I'm getting too old for that anyway."

"Well, that won't do... Hold on for a second."

Puzzled, sukuna looks back at you but you've already gone inside the convenience store. Whatever you're up to now, couldn't possibly be more enticing than getting in a proper smoke right now. Sukuna begins to zone out.

He only snaps out of it when something mildly cold grazes past his cheek, leaving a ticklish and moist sensation on his skin as it disappears upon impact.

Bubbles. Bubbles are flying past him, and floating away into the sky.

For a moment, he gets mesmerised by the swirl of colours that are harboured in each one. Even just from the light of this dingy street, they fly up while holding a multitude of different colours inside them. Time seems to slow for a split second, and he doesn't understand why.

His gaze follows the trail to identify it's source. And unsurprisingly, it's you, standing behind him. You blow a couple more out, and then grin at him childishly. He finally looks at your face properly for the first time.

"Birthday bubbles. For the birthday man," you chuckle sheepishly, knowing that you probably look a bit silly right now. You put the bubble wand back into the small bottle of the soapy mixture, and screw it tightly.

"Here, you can have it. Next time you're feeling a bit antsy, why don't you try blowing some yourself? They're pretty, aren't they?"

You also hand him a different small item.

"And i also threw in a little something else, while i was at it."

He looks down, and sees that it's a new lighter. He slowly pulls his hand out of his pocket to take both of them from your hands.

"I hope you get to do something more special next year. Birthdays are supposed to be joyful, after all," you comment.

"Thanks for putting up with my nosiness. Farewell."

And then you leave him after a quick wave.

Sukuna stares wordlessly as you walk off, wondering what to name this ticklish feeling rising in the pit of his stomach.

The small bottle in his palm reminds him of a moment in his childhood. Kids in the park bragging about their bubble wands that were gifted to them. the laughs that resounded as they all ran off to catch the fragile spheres as they blew away in the wind. The tiny feelings of envy in his heart.

The item he tucks away into his pocket is the lighter. And when nobody is watching, he blows a couple more bubbles into the night sky.

-

Every time he passes by that convenience store, the thought of you comes to his mind. A flashback of your smile in the back of his mind. Every so often, he comes to this particular store. Despite having closer options, he comes to this specific one.

At times, sukuna regrets not taking one of the flyers that you were handing out. He wouldn't have had to mope around a convenience store in hopes of running into you again.

Today is a rainy day, and this calls for a hot piping cup of instant ramen. He doesn't usually enjoy convenience store food, but he wants a reason to stay around inside for a bit longer.

He needs to wait five minutes for the noodles to soften. In this time, he stares out the glass frame of the store, and watches the various rows of people walking past with their umbrellas opened.

There appears to be one anomaly in the crowd, however. Running without shelter from the rain, clutching her bag as if it contains something important in there. Sukuna realises that it's you.

Forgetting about his instant ramen, sukuna grabs his umbrella and dashes out the door.

You're mildly panicking about being stuck behind the red light at the zebra crossing without anything to save you from the rain, but the sensation of the droplets hitting your body come to a stop all too suddenly.

You look up, and there's a black umbrella sheltering you, big and strong looking. You spin around and recognise the stranger with pink hair and sharp eyes. Seemingly out of breath.

He signals to the light that has now turned green behind you, and ushers you forward to cross the road before you can say anything to him.

Now safely on the other side of the road, you begin to converse with him.

"It's you! Hello. Thank you for sheltering me. How have you been?"

"... So-so. Nothing's changed since the last time we met."

"I see. You look better than last time, though." You get the feeling that his eyes have a little more light in them.

Sukuna doesn't really get what you mean, but he moves on.

"What’s in your bag that's so important for you to be protecting it like that?" He asks, effectively changing the topic.

"Oh, this? I literally just bought some brand new origami paper... i can't risk getting them wet and unusable. The children would be disappointed."

"Origami, huh? How original."

"Hey! That's not all... there's a lot of options i offer them. They voted on origami this time."

"You got a lot of people signed up?"

"Not really... but I'm sure it'll start picking up soon. Slowly, one at a time."

You smile up at him hopefully.

"...is the offer still open?"

You cock your head to the side slightly, confused. Sukuna grits his teeth, feeling a little bashful about having to ask more specifically.

"You know. Lessons for grown adults."

"Oh! Of course, anytime! Would you like to come sign up today?"

"Do you offer one-on-one sessions too?"

"Yes, I do."

"Alright. Let’s go."

Sukuna can't fathom the words that are coming out of his own mouth. But fuck it, what's the worst that could happen? You've somehow intriged him, and he can't think of a better way to approach you.

You chatter his ears off along the way, and he nods along while his shoulder gets wet from the way he leans his umbrella closer to your side.

[sixxels]

Masterlist ~꙳⋆‧₊˚

regarding requests!

long fics ⋆‧₊˚

!! disclaimer !! ALL OF MY WORKS DO NOT CORRELATE, THEY ARE ALL STAND ALONE STORIES DESPITE BEING MOSTLY FRAT AU’s !!

choso kamo !

⇩ CURRENT TOP STORY FROM SIXXELS ⇩ ⇩

sex with a stoner ⇦ word count ~ 16k your stoner best friend choso and you are deeeep in sexual tension, you are his girl, but not really his girl. cuddling, forehead kisses, being glued to eachothers hip, it eventually simmers down until neither of you can take it anymore. (my favourite work i've done so far) (smut with a shit ton of plot, angst, fluff, comfort.)

sticky situation ⇦ word count ~ 26k one night of accidental sex with your stoner friend choso destroys the safe and comforting friendship you once had, the both of you spiraling while being in love with one another and not being brave enough to be honest with your feelings makes things sticky for not just you, but your whole chaotic friend group! (ANGST, a lil smut, comfort, crack)

you, always. ⇦ word count~ 12.8k you were best friends first. then the hookups started. now it’s messy, emotional, and way too late to pretend it doesn’t hurt. a frat party turns everything upside down. heartbreak, weed, jealousy, and finally, maybe, something real. (angst, comfort, crack)

gojo satoru !

babydoll ⇨ (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) word count ~ 28k frat boy satoru spots the most adorable girl he’s never seen on campus before and just has to have her, suguru throws in a bet and it gets crazy when your ex sukuna gets involved. (fluff, angst/comfort/ smut)

it girl ⇨ (part 1)(part 2) word count ~ 38k nerd gojo finally plucks up enough courage to talk to the popular model he stalks on instagram on the daily, what happens when she seems interested in him as-well? things get wild when your fling!sukuna gets involved. (fluff, smut, angst/comfort)

satoru gojo and suguru geto !

ruin me ⇦ word count ~ 26k obsessive nerds satoru and suguru have fawned over you since freshman year, jointly thirsting over your instagram and watching you silently in the halls. the stoners are invited to one of choso's partys, and fuck, they get really lucky. they worship you like a goddess and end up being thrown into your perfect orbit, in a secret affair behind your horrible boyfriend sukuna's back. (fluff, smut!!! angst, comfort, toxicity)

ryomen sukuna !

play it back word count ~ 16k sukuna and you fuck, fight, and figure out your seriously fucked up feelings while juggling your chaotic friend group and crazy parties. emotionally hot and heavy plot line with a sneaky gojo. (angst, comfort, smut)

mine, eventually ⇦ word count ~ 11k he’s your slutty frat-boy-best-friend and you’re his sweet, bubbly angel who has no idea that sukuna's been in love with you for months. he hasn’t fucked a single soul since he realized his feelings, not one. pretending he’s fine while you curl up into his chest at parties like it means nothing is slowly driving him insane. (slow burn, fluff, lil angst, comfort.)

toji fushiguro !

taunt me ⇦ word count ~ 18k an angsty slow burn college au where you’re just friends with toji fushiguro—or at least that’s what you both keep telling yourselves. caught in a web of jealousy, miscommunication, and late-night parties, one kiss gone wrong shatters everything. now he’s spiraling, and you’re the only thing he can’t let go of. (angst, smut, slow burn, eventual comfort)

kento nanami !

in the hush of it all word count ~ 10.3k in a bustling frat where everything and everyone has something going on 24/7, nanami is the lull in an ever changing sea. through longing glances and awkward first meetings, your relationship with the stoic man who keeps the frat together grows. (fluff, slowish burn.)

drabbles ⋆‧₊˚

gojo satoru !

home ⇦ overworked satoru coming home to his caring girl! (fluff, comfort) ~ wc: 1.5k

diva ⇦ nerdy gojo loving on his baddie girlfriend. (fluff) ~ wc: 500

suguru geto !

sketch me ⇦ friends who yearn to be lovers. (slight angst? no comfort?) ~ wc: 500

ryomen sukuna !

yearn ⇦ sukuna getting high regretting his actions. (angst) ~ wc: 1000

oneshots ⋆‧ ₊˚

gojo satoru !

perfect ⇦ boyfriend!satoru taking his shy!girlfriends v-card! (smut) ~ wc: est. 3k

mr. take your girl ⇦ frat satoru stealing sukunas situationship and ultimately saving her from a horrible relationship. (smut, angst, fluff) ~ wc: 10k

about sixxels !

i'm a 19 year old girl, in my second year of studying surveying in university. i'm from australia and i live next to the beach! i love art, i was almost going to go for an arts degree after high school, but my mum said no way, lmao. i love writing, it really brings me the most joy to see others take such a liking to my ideas, and although i could never tell literally anyone in my life about this hobby, its hands down my most fulfilling and enjoyable past time. my favorite anime is hands down, nana. my holy grail i love it with all my heart, i have the full set of manga and i make clay sculptures to go with them on my manga shelf 😭 my favorite music artist would have to be either sonder or tyler, the creator. and MOST OF ALL i love love LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS YOU KEEP ME GOINGGG ! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[tiramissyoucake]

Escape attempt gone wrong (not clickbait)(my husband gets pissed?!?!)

Viltrumite Mark x fem reader, forced marriage, the whole shabang, I know nothing about Viltrum♡ word vomitted, lame fade to black scene because idk how to end this

You see a few ships zip by your windows on some days, you know they don't need ships, so a lot of them were dormant in landing zones.

"What're you thinking about?" Your husband's hands snaked onto your shoulders as his voice reached your ear, a small smile on his face.

"... nothing, I'm just wondering why you have ships since Viltrumites can fly." You noted, Mark hummed. "... honestly? I can't tell you either, maybe it's for longer journeys or cargo." He kissed your cheek gently. "Why? Planning to take one on a joy ride?"

The idea was tempting. "Don't be ridiculous," you scoffed. "I can't fly those."

Later that night, a formal meeting between a few powerful Viltrumites you didn't care about busied Mark and a majority of your guards have turned in for the night, you were left to your own devices in a big bedroom stockpiled with gifts from every corner of the galaxy.

You tossed and turned, sleeping early didn't help. You were restless, you've been restless since you've been demanded to remain in one building and one building only. It infuriated you, your supposed husband most likely saw you as a reward for decimating a planet and not a living being with autonomy.

You sat up, glancing aside to the empty space next to you. He had some nerve, locking you up then leaving to play emperor like this, anywhere else in the galaxy would be better now.

... 'anywhere else' wasn't impossible.

. . .

"You need to mind your manners," Nolan scolded as Mark left the room the 'conference' was held in. "I know you're doing a good job in power, but that doesn't mean you can disrespect your seniors."

"I don't respect those who don't respect me." Mark spoke, his tone grated through gritted teeth. "All I want to do is get this stupid cape off me and see my wife."

Nolan restrained an eye roll, the human pet. "You're too attached to that human, what do you see in her anyway?"

"Everything. She's kind, interesting, she sees me beyond my strength, it's like..." he let out a sigh, holding back a shiver from showing, the sigh almost sounded lovesick. "It's like she sees right through me to my core, sees me for who I am, not what I am."

Gag. His father ignored the romance ramble. "You'll learn to see her as a tool for the good of the empire."

Mark rolled his eyes, parting ways at a hallway. "I'm going to bed, I neglected her enough." He didn't wait for a 'goodnight' or any last comments from his father as he left.

The grand doors to the bedroom creaked open, nothing changed. Your body under the sheets, gifts untouched and floors clean, he let out a sigh of relief as he threw aside the cape, loosening the collar of his clothes. "Are you awake?" His voice was soft compared to the usual commanding tone. "I missed you, dear.."

He came to his side of the bed. "I've been waiting to—"

Pillows. Not your peaceful sleeping figure. A stack of pillows. Confusion flooded his head as he got up.

"... oh, oh! Haha! very funny, love." He looked around. "You can come out now!" He waited for a beat, eyes glancing around for any movement.

None, nothing, not even a shuffle. Panic tingled at his fingertips, as he tugged the sheets off the bed, rapidly looking under the bed his eyes darted around the room. His heart raced, looking in any and every compartment that you could possibly squeeze into.

The room grew into a mess but he couldn't care less, sweat coated his forehead from the frenzy of pure panic. "You're not here." He finally admitted to himself, his heart pounding.

Silently cursing the meeting in his head, he sped off to collect whoever he can from guards or staff to form a search party, you couldn't have gone far. Humans were weak, vulnerable, he'll find you. He'll find you. He'll find you.

. . .

You held the cloak you found in the back of the closet close to your chest, you didn't know if Viltrumites recognised you but you wouldn't risk it, but your feet hurt as you ran through the unfamiliar structures.

The hallways were empty, the doors were loose. It was a miracle. You got a chance to leave this nightmare of a marriage, you had no clear idea on where you'd be headed, but you heard stories of galaxy nomads and travellers making ends meet and surviving! You're a smart person, you've got common sense. How hard could it be..?

The landing zone. You just needed to get to the landing zone.

A gasp escaped you, you heard a few barks of commands. "Spread out! She couldn't have gone far!"

You needed to get to that landing zone.

Keep low, keep hidden. You repeated that in your head as you ran, you thought you'd never get there or that you may have gotten lost, then the landing zone came into view, you saw a few ships and suddenly, hope seemed within your reach.

The search party seemed too focused on the buildings and structures, you thanked whatever architect decided to put that place outside of populated areas, the shouting dwindled, turning more distant as you got closer.

You tossed the hood off seeing a few Viltrumites guarding a gate, spotting you as you closed in, they grew confused. "Your imperial majesty? What happ—"

"Open the gates!!" For the first time, you commanded them. "Open them, now!!"

They had no choice but to listen, the gates opened and your heart almost pounded out of your chest. The ships lined up and their states were clear, maintenence, maintenence, offline, maintenence, offline, reserved, offline, reserved.

Finally, 'Ready'.

You could hear the shouting return, but you didn't care, the ship took you in so easily and you could see a new life for yourself outside of this miserable planet, now you just need to learn how to get the controls to listen to you.

It was quiet inside the ship, save for the rapid button clicking and switch flicking from you, everything was coming to life in the ship's mechanics, you held onto the yoke of the ship as you saw the landscape shift, it would levitate off the ground soon.

. . .

He saw it in the distance, hovering high over the empire he saw a ship start to levitate, he knew about every ship, item and living being that entered and left Viltrum.

"No. No. Nononono." His body moved, launching him to the landing zone area with his fists clenched ready to tear through metal.

Mark mumbled to himself as he closed the distance quickly, angered at your audacity to try to escape him.

. . .

Freedom was on the horizon, you were out of here, out of this nightmare. Your hands readjusted repeatedly on the yolk as the ship moved.

A booming sound caused you to whip your head to the back of the ship, your heart dropped seeing an indent in the metal.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" You never heard Mark's voice reach that level of volume, the pounding continued. "COME OUT!"

You stood your ground, even as the fear of what he might do if he gets you caused your hands to tremble and your heart to race quickly, you repeatedly tapped a few buttons, didn't this stupid ship have thrusters or whatever?!

An alarm blared, one meant to let a pilot know the ship wouldn't listen, you had a feeling it had to do with more rumbling from below, curse his monstrous strength, you heard a piercing noise, followed by a grating, screeching noise. He was peeling the metal with his bare hands.

"You'd rather DIE in the cold of the galaxy? You despise me to THAT extent?!" He screeched at the top of his lungs, the ship sparking after he destroyed its engine from the outside and it's structure being torn apart.

Your hands rapidly tried to find any button that could reverse or override the damage. "Please," you mumbled as if the ship could hear you. "Please work, please! I can't stay here..!"

"(NAME)!! TURN THIS SHIP OFF!! NOW!!"

His yelling scared you, you gripped a lever and before you knew it, a flury of sparks flew from the control panel, so powerful it almost knocked you out, but the ship being pummeled back to the ground beat the sparks to it, the tilt of the ship causing you to fall out the pilot's chair and hit your head on the way down to the ship's floor.

Your head hurts, your heart hurts, are you going to die on this ship? You didn't want to succumb to the pounding in your head, you were scared you'd wake up chained or worse. A burning sensation collected at the point of impact on your head.

The ship was useless now, Mark made sure of it, the engine being destroyed in an instant, tugging the metal back until there was enough of an opening for him to slip through, he bent his head down to enter the ship. its lights flickering off, he looked up with a piercing glare, a scowl on his lips and eyebrows furrowed, his knuckles were reddened from the sheer force of his strikes against the metal.

It was quiet for a moment as he watched the consciousness slip away from you, his footsteps that approached you quiet compared to the powerful banging of his fists from seconds ago.

"You've got some nerve." He started, a look of anger, sadness, frustration and heartbreak in his eyes. "You think it's that easy, don't you?"

Black spots formed in your vision, your expression was one he couldn't dissect, it pissed him off more, and he knew he'd still take care of that bump on your head after bringing you back home.

It doesn't matter, he'd indulge in his win for now and seethe about the insolence after. And right when he thought you were becoming more obedient too.

"I'm not letting you go." Mark stated to make the situation clear to your fuzzy state of mind, "Not now. Not ever. I'll make sure of it."

[chrizzmaster]

Ur dead homeowner au got me maladaptive daydreaming like I've never before and I'm making everybody's problem /j

My mind came up with this either stupid or genius idea so sorry if I start rambling and it gets too long...

Imagine Reggie (aka Regina Rejection) being the only one (maybe other than like Skylar or smthn) that actually LIKES the reader. Not in a shallow way, or "I'm just being polite way", but actually like enjoys the reader's company and actually defends them against the other objects (which I know is ooc but bear with me, I have a point-)

I just imagine Reggie appearing after so many objects have rejected them and he's all excited cuz he's expecting DRAMA, smthn JUICY. Like, he's expecting the reader to be someone so incredibly sassy or hateful and he's about to revel in the notion that there is someone who's just as much a ragebaiter as he is but when he does finally appear, all he finds is something...pathetic.

It's nothing dramatic, nothing exciting, it's just...sad. The reader isn't even being rejected because they did something that really set ppl off, they just...exist and everybody hates them for it.

Everybody's grieving and they're pinning all that unchecked emotional baggage on an innocent person and I like to think Reggie absolutely hates that. He hates when the concept of hate is used for stupid reasons like "they don't act like this dead person I miss so that means they deserve all the shit they get".

So imagine Reggie befriends the reader (maybe even more? Wink wink?) and actually TEACHES them to be sassy and self-confident. His moto is now "If they hate you for no reason? GIVE THEM A REASON" like he's all why waste all this good hate wallowing when you could use it to your own advantage.

Now gone is the soft and gentle new homeowner and in comes someone who actually knows their worth thanks to the literal concept of Rejection, and takes NO SHIT from anyone and they don't have anyone to blame but themselves.

Oh, Stefan burned their food again out of spite? Good luck having a rusty stove top then, I ain't cleaning your shit in weeks. Deal with the fall out.

Rebel starts talking shit? To the far corner of the attic with you, where you can collect dust along with Vaughn.

Hector acting outta line? Guess who's buying a new AC unit!

And any time someone tries to tell them off, Reggie's just there to call out their hypocrisy like "Tf did you expect? For them to just take your bs forever? Did you just expect them to be a doormat for eternity? Y'all are such pathetic losers lmao."

And anytime reader fights back with their own brand of menace, Reggie just stands looking so proud and lovesick like "Hell Yeah! You're doing great, sweetie!"

*ahem* anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I love Reggie and I want him to be the unexpected guiding light for the Reader, thank you very much.

Love your work btw!! Chef's kiss! 😚👌🏻✨

Staying for only a month or two and the objects had started this one-sided beef with you for no apparent reason. Their excuse for this sudden hatred towards you? You were 'replacing' their old houseowner and weren't acting as they would be. Why the fuck would you? You were your own person! But you were understanding... too understanding. Too nice. You let them all step all over you with a patient smile on your face- hoping that they' soon wake up from their blind hatred and accept you.

For now, you're getting rejected time and time again by almost all of the objects in the house- and it doesn't even stop there! You managed to develop a hate relationship with the personified of nightmare and existential dread! Seriously, what god did you pissed off? How could this many things alike despise you so-?

Reggie was having the time of his life feeling the rejection in the air! Deciding to finally show himself- eager to see who was this asshole that could get almost a hundred objects to hate them. You might just be his kind of guy. Excited and jittery, he turned up to witness Cam telling you to, "Fuck off, asshole!" and vanished as the trashcan fell (on purpose, he's sure) the contents of it spread across the floor as you sighed, getting on your knees to clean it up. Reggie cringed at the sight, you who were so focus on cleaning up you didn't even notice him.

The sight was... pathetic.

He wasn't expecting an evil mastermind dictator- no. Perhaps a ragebaiter such as himself filled with sass and a pinch of hate in them but you were anything but. One glance at you was enough to know what kind of person you were.

Gentle, polite, kind and patient. Ugh, Reggie's going to barf.

Then... what was all that about? Cam left calling you an 'asshole' but an 'asshole' wouldn't be cleaning up his trash. This was just plain pathetic and... sad. Once you were done cleaning up, you went to the sink to wash your hands only for the water to splash all over you which had you wincing and turning the tap off. Your upper body being soaked.

The look on your face had Reggie even feeling sorry for you.

You just... existed. How could they hate you for just living? Was this hatred coming from them because of the old houseowner? Was that it? Just because they were grieving- hell, he spent some time mourning as well- so this was an excuse to pin all their unchecked emotional baggage on you? Reggie was a lot of things but the thought of an innocent pure soul such as yourself being a victim to all these objects who lacks emotional intelligence (and critical thinking) was genuinely pissing him off. He hated how the concept of 'hate' was used for stupid reasons such as this.

When you turned to find a towel, Reggie was right next to you handing one that he simply took from the table beside him. "Here you go."

"Thanks...?" Your wide eyes were a clear sign that not one of these objects had served you with even the slightest bit of kindness.

You dried yourself off and was going to say something but suddenly widened your eyes in fear, quickly apologizing, "I'm so sorry! I didn't even ask who you were! I'm so rude- forgive me, please-" Reggie's eyebrows knitted together, feeling uneased and cut you off, "Hold your horses- you don't gotta apologize for nothin', alright? Ya hear me?" He placed both his hands on your shoulders, looking straight at you.

"I-" You were at loss of words- no one had treated you this... nice?

"Right," Reggie sighed, placing a hand on his hip, "I'm Regina Rejection," he introduced himself to you, an air of of danger around him that you could sense but... strangely enough you felt quite safe with him. If his name is anything to go by- he's the personified of 'rejection' then.

"You can call me Reggie," he added as you nodded. "That's a really pretty name, Reggie!" You thought the compliment would had him smiling and yet you were met with a disappointed shake of the head, "Tsk, tsk. Oh no, honey- You're too nice!" You flinched at his outburst which had him softened his eyes but still looking annoyed. Not annoyed at you- but perhaps at how, as he put it, nice you were.

"Let's make a deal, alright?" You blinked and then slowly nodded. "You not even gonna ask what the deal is?" Reggie looked at you with a questioning stare, raising a brow at your dumb expression.

"R-Right! What kind of deal...?" you asked hesitatingly.

"I'm gonna give you some lessons to stand up for yourself!" Reggie place an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close, "Look- these objects hate your guts-" you winced at the silent admission being acknowledged aloud, "So-! I say, we give them a reason to hate you." The smirk on his face had you gulping nervously on what to expect for your future 'lessons'. "They hate you for no apparent reason, right?" With your nod, he continued, "Then why waste such hate? Grasp it and embrace it! Use it to your advantage," Reggie finished, using his free hand to poke your chest.

"But I-" Reggie released you from his touch, "No buts!" He crossed his arms, giving you a warning glare. "Then- what do you get in return?" The expression on his face had you nervously gulping as he smirked proudly, "Why, I get to witness rejection and taste the hate of course! Nothing better than to see hate being spread among objects and people alike," the beautiful man said with a proud smirk and you couldn't help but crack a smile of your own. It was... sweet to see this man being all happy about things people deem negative and yet he was the only one that treated you the best- it was ironic. How could the personified version of rejection who thrives on hate be so kind?

Your lessons were hard at first- you not knowing how to defend yourself, always too timid and scared; Reggie had called you a 'people pleaser' which you didn't bother to argue back because the fact was, you were. Reggie seemed to know you better than you know yourself or anyone for that matter. Your bond with him grew and it was clear that there wasn't truly a 'deal' in this- though, yes, you both do get your own respective benefits in it but truthfully- Reggie just wanted you to be happy.

The objects noticed how you changed the more you hung around Reggie- definitely not a good sign. Only then did they realize how they had heavily taken advantage of your good nature. Long gone was the soft and gentle you- now it's replaced with one that was under the influence of Reggie's ways and honestly? They couldn't bring themselves to blame you or him- it was their fault in the end of the day.

So, when Stefan decided to burn your food- you promptly dumped the food into the trash and left it as it was. The stove remained rusty and dirty for weeks on end. Stefan had never felt any worse- especially when you installed a new stove right beside him. Instantly, panic filled in him- were you going to remove him then? What's going on? And Reggie had the nerve to appear in front of him and mocked his state. "Who told you to burn the human's food, hm? Isn't cooking your job and yet you couldn't even do that. Human thinks you're broken- useless. Well, you are getting a little... rusty, huh?"

The rest of the kitchen witnessed Stefan being removed from the house just like that- fear in their hearts, scared to be the next.

The bathroom wasn't safe either. The minute Rebel spoke when you entered the bathroom with the dateviators- immediately, you brought out a new squeaky shiny rubber duck and place it where Rebel's duck was. Rebel? Inside the trash where you later tied up and threw into the outside garbage can.

Reggie high-fived you when you entered, flashing you a grin which you returned with your own and consumed with joy- you embraced Reggie, holding him close and tight as he hugged back. "I'm proud of you, baby. Don't ever let anyone treat you like that again," Reggie muttered in your ear, pulling away as he does so. You were still in each others arms as he used a hand to move your hair away from your face and leaned in close. You sucked in a breath, waiting for when he would close the gap but it never came. "Now, who would be our next victim?" His voice filled with trouble whispering in your ear that sent shivers down your spine in delight.

"Well, it's awfully hot in here, huh?" you replied back, eyes drifting to the vents. "And it's summer. Oh, you poor thing," Reggie puckered his lips into a pout, exaggerating his words.

The day you replaced the whole A/C unit in your home- Celia decided she had to take some sort of action. The 'mayor' of the house came forward after the people who replaced the A/C went back home seeing you in Reggie's arms on your bed. "Oh, what're you doing here?" he asked while Celia simply ignored him.

"I need to speak to you, human." You nodded, gesturing her to continue. Celia cleared her throat before speaking, "This isn't right. You can't replace these objects- the old houseowner wouldn't-"

"Well, they're dead," you said, eyes glued to the wall with a blank expression, "This is my house now and I can do whatever I damn please with it. The stove kept burning my food, the duck was old and rude and you know how much I hate the heat, so how could I put up with an A/C that doesn't do its job?" Your eyes were now on Celia who looked tensed, her brows knitted together as she stared at you like you were some sort of monster. "Ask yourself- if you were the almighty human in the house; would you be stupid enough to have some broken objects staying here without doing their jobs?" Celia's reply never came and you smirked, "Exactly."

Face red in anger, Celia spluttered, "I-"

"Hey, could you actually just leave us alone?" Reggie chimed in, "Seriously, did you expect them to take your bullshit forever? To be a doormat for all of eternity? Be so for real."

Defeated, Celia nodded, not even bothering with regards as she just left.

"You were so hot when you told her off." You tilted your head up from Reggie's chest to see him with proud adoration in his eyes. A chuckle escaped your lips as your cheeks turned a pretty pink, you mumbled a "Thanks" and took his hand in yours and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles, "I couldn't have done it without you."

A sigh was heard above you as you felt Reggie playing with your hair, "Well, you are a great student." You snorted, "That's not what you said when you first started teaching me."

"Oh, whatever." Reggie then pushed you gently off his chest and to the soft bed, straddling your lap as he leaned close with his forehead touching yours. "Could you tell me off too? Hm?"

Snorting, you narrowed your eyes at Reggie and teased him, "Oh, how much I hate how you for not treating me like shit like everyone here does." Reggie burst into laughter, leaning towards you and holding your shoulders for balance, "Good one, babe!"

You let out your own chuckle as you clasped Reggie's face with your hands and pulled him close as you two sealed a kiss. Who knew rejection could taste so sweet?

[starlitscars]

Made of ice

Jackson era! Joel Miller x F! Reader

Summary: One stormy night in the safety of Wyoming, it occurs to Joel that even though life has turned his heart into a slab of ice, there's a soft, melting spot buried deep inside... Only reserved for you.

Word count: 5.2k

Masterlist

Tags/warnings: MDNI, NSFW, implied age gap, canon-typical violence, Joel Miller needs his own warning, protective! Joel, soft! Joel, angst, fluff, smut, finger sucking, fingering, pet names, praise kink, language, no use of y/n, soft dom! Joel, negative thoughts, dea*h wish, self-doubt, self-confidence issues, Joel is a sweetheart here (but he doesn't think he's worthy of peace), rain, lots of rain, lightning, stormy weather, kinda established relationship, let me know if a tag has gone unnoticed.

Author's note: This is my very first attempt at writing for Joel Miller. I've had the idea in my mind for a few weeks now and it's hard to resist when it comes to him (did I say Pedro Pascal?) So I hope the details are accurate and if you decide to read this one shot, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it. If you want to be mutuals, I'll be more than glad <3

Divider by: saradika-graphics

Made of ice

You should've seen what you made of him.

The calm, slow beats in his chest are strikingly different from how he remembers them. In fact, he vaguely recalls the way those racing, dreadful patterns had carved themselves into his memory. With a rigid heart made of ice, it was nearly impossible to find the pulse in him, even at his most frightened, disappointed state. 

Joel used to walk into the face of danger with a rifle clutched in his dying grip, a life to save and thousands to destroy, and in all those moments any sign of life was nonexistent in him. There used to be rage, hatred, regret, and frustration... Oh lots of frustration, running through the veins in his body. He used to walk, talk, and breathe. But he wasn't alive.

Now he doesn't find it in himself to call it miracle. But somewhere between the lines, you happened. You happened and fuelled the dying fire in the far corner of his heart. He used to keep it empty and dark, like a deserted house with no furniture, a perfect place for the noises in his head to become loud and maybe help him stand the never-ending days of what everyone called life. 

You entered his life and now most of what he feels in these old veins is warmth, safety and attachment. Yes, he doesn't call it miracle, because his past doings are too  stained and unforgivable to deserve a miracle. To deserve you. The real miracle. The fathomable idea of what it feels to be alive.

Joel feels alive.

Some days, it feels like his wretched past is clawing its way back into his mind, calling those demons to end his days of peace with you. Some nights, he's restless... So terribly restless. What if you get injured on your next patrol? What if the Raiders attack you when you're out of the gates of Jackson? What if something bad happens to you the moment his eyes close? What if these damn what ifs come to life? This old mind tricks him into seeing pictures of what has never happened and probably never will. You always assure him that you'll be careful. He trusts you and your abilities, but he does not trust his fears. Because if life is too good, it scares him. 

It scares Joel Miller, way more than it would if he was trapped in a dark room with all of his fears and demons creeping on the cold hard floor towards him. He'd rather spend every day fighting off the Clickers and Raiders and every nasty threat out there, instead of pacing around the room and waiting to see if your patrols end well or not.

So he has no choice but to either convince Tommy to pick him as your patrol partner every damn time you have to do it – which he makes sure is as limited as possible – or occasionally keep an eye on you from a distance and let his thoughts consume him at the same time. Just like what he's doing now. 

His persistence in being close to you tends to earn him annoyed eye rolls and "She's more capable than that, Joel." comments from his brother... almost all the time. But he simply can't help it, and he thinks that you know it. Because you never complain nor haul him over the coals for his instincts and worries and the immense amount of care his rigid heart feels for you. He's silently thankful for that understanding.

You are safe here, he thinks. Even though he feels restless, his heartbeat has never been this calm. He sits and watches you on nights like this and there's only one thought ringing in his head. All the scolding is worth it. You're sprawled out peacefully on the bed. His bed. It must be straight out of a fucking impossible dream. You're here, in his atmosphere, in his menacing, guilty, dark presence... And you have chosen it knowingly. It's all he can ever ask for. 

The dim moonlight is swimming in through the curtains, casting a soft, silvery shadow over your face. Your hair is falling all around you like you're knowingly doing it... Posing for an artist just to paint this delicate beauty on a canva. 

Despite his bitter mood, a content smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. Tearing his gaze from you, he downs the remaining whiskey and silently places the empty glass on the table, deciding that he needs a short walk to free his troubled mind. One morning, Maria woke up and decided that Joel needs to stay behind and help Tommy in fixing the issues in the town's only library. So you should have another partner for your patrol days for god knows how long. He fucking hates being told what to do. He fought tooth and nail to prevent that, and if you weren't there to stop him, he would as well turn the mess hall into another ruin that needed to be fixed – which only meant more time away from you. 

So it's going to take only two weeks, at worst. Only a terrible fortnight before things go back to normal. It's almost unbelievable how you have managed to awaken a sense of normalcy in him that he hasn't known in decades. Your absence is an instant threat to this normal life.

Maybe it's about time he gets used to it. He's not that weak. He shouldn't let his angers and worries run him. More importantly, he shouldn't ruin your much needed sleep with his usual problems right now. You've still got the weekend. He'll take a walk and be back here before you as much as stir in your deep slumber.

Oh. The damn library.

...

Jackson is eerily quiet in the middle of the night, enveloped by darkness and as isolated as it can be in this corner of the world. It's a stark contrast to how busy the whole community is during the daylight – bustling with happy greetings, careless jokes, movie days, small parties, and lots of work to do. It all asks for social interaction and he deeply hates it.

He hates when every passer-by's attention turns to you every time you step out in the open. He hates how prying eyes rove up and down your frame every time you walk into the bar. He hates how... He shakes his head, almost rolling his eyes at the loudness of these thoughts. Joel has to remind himself that he is the one you hold onto and introduce to everyone in every social gathering. The proud gleam in your eyes always placates him. There's no need to break a jaw in this town... Perhaps.

Lights flicker by the porches and the sound of his boots on the ground is the only sound that disturbs the silence. The sky is clouding over, distantly promising another stormy night in its gloomy wake. Occasional flashes of lightning light up the road and before Joel knows it, he's passing by the Tipsy Bison. It's 3 past midnight, no wonder why its doors are locked and closed. Either way he comes to a halt, letting the gears turn in his head as he opts for a very familiar path.

Your house. It's a short walk away from the bar.

Joel still recalls that day. How long has it been? Five, six, seven months? It feels like yesterday to him.

He'd had a terrible conversation with Tommy, not at all the way he'd planned it on his first day in Jackson. Things got heated up pretty quickly, leaving a bitter taste of rejection lingering on his tongue, the burn of the whiskey only worsening his mood.

"Just because life stopped for you, doesn't mean it has to stop for me..."

The words were ringing in his head as he stormed out of the bar. Shrugging his jacket on, all he wanted was to walk as far away from that area as possible. This affronted, begrudging, irrational sting was boiling in him and in that moment he was more than ready to leave the gates of Jackson even if it called for more danger. Life had really ended for him years ago, but to hear it from Tommy right after the hell he'd went through to find him... It really hurt. 

The pain was resurfacing in rapid tides.

If his boots could dig deeper, get stuck in the snow and propel him into the cold biting blanket of the earth, he'd welcome it. If life had really ended for him, he had to make it make sense by ending himself as well. This... There was this distant melody echoing in the air and cutting through his troubled thoughts. The wind was harsh against his ears, and each step brought the melody closer. 

It really could be the last song that played before his funeral.  

Joel was surrounded by all the colors, and all he could see was white, eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't pay much attention as he bumped into someone. He barely lifted his head to apologize, and then his gaze settled on the crackling fire on the left side of the road. 

Red and orange and yellow hues. It was a fresh contrast. His eyes were hurting from all the white snow.

He came to a halt, mindlessly waving at the person he'd bumped into. A dozen of kids had gathered around the burning logs in a barrel on the porch, rubbing their hands together and listening to the same melody he was entranced by. The same melody that he thought would be his burial hymn.

Joel's eyes followed their excited faces, wondering who they were looking at. He saw you mirroring their hopeful gleams first, and then he registered the guitar on your lap. 

To make the matters worse, you had tilted your head, shooting him a funnily quizzical look. He might've looked weird back then. The town's newcomer, with a permanent scowl on his face, maybe plotting murder as well (considering that it was the main topic in all the words that already flew around about him).

He didn't answer, still dead in his tracks as if he was immobilized by some invisible force. So you shifted in your seat, silently offering him a spot among the children as if to say "You can come over and join us."

He had two choices in that moment, either a polite decline was on the table or a dismissive frown. He looked over his shoulder at the bar and finally opted for the third choice – or so his mind created another choice for him – and he nodded, joining in on your little gathering without as much as saying a word. He really wanted to hear that song.

He never asked whether you knew the words to that song, but that night when he lay in bed and his thoughts were far from the idea that he wanted to bury himself in the snow, he vaguely remembered the lyrics. And it hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.

Yeah, I don't want to hurt

There's so much in this world 

To make me bleed

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Stay with me

You're all I see

He wanted to ignore how the words affected him in the middle of the night. It was the first night he could feel some semblance of peace, not sleeping with an eye open in case someone attacked them. Ellie was safe in another room. So he really considered that. He considered the possibility of staying. He was relatively new to the community... And so damn unaccustomed to the whole arrangement. He almost woke up the next morning and started packing before he remembered where he was.

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Those words stuck with him.

And his first encounter with you was a harbinger of different things to come.

One day of patrolling with you led to another, one night of inviting you for a drink led to another. One peaceful afternoon in the stable led to another. One gloomy evening in the clinic did not lead to another. He was way too protective of you to let that happen again.

He truly feels lucky. You could be anywhere else, better off if you picked anyone other than this grumpy, old man. And yet you still want him. You silly girl. You've melted his heart with your warmth. 

But he's like a lake, deserted in the middle of a haunted forest and engulfed in coldness. Even though the center is warm and gooey, he keeps the surface frozen and rigid and menacing. Hard enough to keep his instincts sane and alarmed. Cold enough to let everyone know that you're his and he will not fucking share. 

Lightning strikes again in the sky.

He lifts himself up and off your front stairs with a heavy grunt. An hour has passed since he left for a walk. The clouds have fully gathered in the sky and he thinks that he should be by your side now.

Joel really cares little for the details, always asking Tommy and Ellie to spare him the explanation and get straight to the point. But with you, it's hard to forget a couple of things. One night, a few weeks ago, you were pulling him past the threshold of your house. So adorably drunk and inviting. He was still a little pissed by how the rainstorm had ruined your nightly walk. Despite your complaints about sharing a kiss in the rain, he'd dragged you back to the nearest shelter possible, because he just didn't want to get fucking soaked. Joel didn't find it romantic at all. He was frowning, still pinning you against the wall for a begrudgingly needy kiss. You giggled into his mouth, playful fingers pocking at his chest. "Come on Joel. Let yourself enjoy it... All these neverending drops on the roof, the fresh earthy scent that comes after it... It's just really beautiful. One of the few things that kept me sane before I came here..." 

He's not really against the idea. But the changing weather doesn't bode well with him. One day is sunny, and the next is rainy and it just goes to show how he has no power over the situation.

Hell. A part of Joel is really terrified of the changing weather. One day it was scorching hot, and the next his boots crunched against the white blankets of neverending snow, reprimanding him for his carelessness. Time would pass whether he wanted to or not. He is still terrified, wishing he could stretch the time he could spend with you. God knows he wants an eternity with you. 

He has seen enough rain for a lifetime. He hasn't seen you enough. How could he enjoy getting soaked in tiny drops of water when all he wanted was to bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there for a while – maybe forever and a little more?

But he has considered it since then. If there are a few things that keep you happy and rainy days have to be one of them, he'll give you that. He'll get used to that. There's no pattern with the rainfall in here, and the weather forecast is pretty much nonexistent. He has promised himself to tell you whenever it rains, even though he despises the idea of you catching a cold after minutes or hours of dancing in the cold, letting droplets of water wash over you without a care in this wretched world. 

He also despises the idea of waking you up.

But he knows you'll like it. You careless, adorable girl. He lives to see that excited gleam in your eyes. Everytime you show it, this old heart pounds impatiently in his chest and it all feels like the first time it has happened.

He's back home in no time. 

So, kicking his boots off as silently as possible, he trudges over and settles down by the edge of the bed, suppressing a low groan. His knees still ache from all the never-ending effort he's put in repairing the library over the past few days. Jesus, he just wants it to be done as soon as possible. It feels like he's losing so much time when he's away from you. Now that you're still pretty much asleep in the same position he last saw you, all Joel wants is to lie down by your side and melt in your warm embrace instead of having to fight with his thoughts and the world to not take away yet another precious piece of him. He can't afford to even think about losing you.

Each flash of lightning illuminates the contours of your beautiful face and he can't help himself when he lifts a hand and lets his knuckles gently stroke your cheek. Your lips are parted ever so slightly and you look so innocent in your unconscious dream. He almost backs down, part of him hoping that it rains throughout the day, just so he doesn't guilt trip himself for the pout on your face if you miss it. You need to rest.

As if you sense his hesitation, you stir in bed and lean into his touch. A low hum escapes you, and Joel is too weak to deny himself the softness it brings. His wounded knuckles are soon replaced with a calloused thumb and he wonders what's so interesting about these hands that never ceases to catch your attention.

One night at the bar, Joel had caught you actually staring at them and when he teased you a little about it, you just shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I mean... I just like them so much. Your hands are always warm, and... and that's all."

He shrugged it off that night. Ellie had also considered it a flex for him to have warm hands even in the coldest days of winter, but with you and the way you looked at him... It was different. He knew it was more than that. 

And when the nights he shared with you went further than his sinful thoughts had planned, you showed him that it was more than that. It was more than the warmth you found there. If anything, your helpless whimpers were an indication of how capable and strong these hands were.

Heat blooms in his chest. It simply is endearing. The way you always seem to recognize his touch and send his head spiraling with the idea that you want him to do more. You've never been afraid of him. You've never pushed him away. You've never judged him for the horrible things he's done. Jesus, it should terrify him. Joel should've pushed you away at some point, because he knows you'd be better off without him, but how could he muster the strength to do so? Since that fateful moment on your porch, your presence keeps on inviting him for more. More than simply existing. And God, if you knew how he wants to do more than that every second of the day... Only if the world lets him breathe a little.

There's another bolt of lightning and raindrops finally begin to drum against the window pane.

Joel shakes his head to get rid of those worrisome ideas. Propping himself on one elbow, he leans over ever so slightly and lets his thumb trace its way to your chin, up to your jawline, and then back to the soft skin on your cheek. He draws circles over the blooming flush and then his thumb is traveling down to your lower lip. Your mouth parts just a little more, breathing even and content and if he gets a grip on himself, he may notice that there's a ghost of a smile in there as well.

"Baby..." He whispers softly, his gaze drifting all over your adorable face. You really are a piece of art, tangled in the sheets, in the safety of his house, and your innocent hums are doing something to him. Some obscene voice that silently pleads for more. More and more... Just to give you more. 

You stir a little more.

He leans over and places a gentle kiss on your forehead, the sweet, fruity scent he's come to like a lot about you engulfing his senses. He watches every little movement with amusement. "My sweet baby... You want to see what's waitin' for you outside."

"Joel," you mumble sleepily, voice drowsy and laced with a hint of confusion as you rub your eyes and stretch your arms before looking around the dark room with a quizzical expression on your face. It doesn't take long for the realization to hit you and the familiar gleam in your gaze makes him smile. You stare a him, wide-eyed. "Is it- again?"

He chuckles and gestures at the window. "Yes, a heavy one at that."

Again, there's that hum of delight as you follow his gaze. The pitter-patter of the rain cheers you up like a lollipop would do to a child. It's maddeningly adorable.

You should be running to the backyard by now, but instead you stare at him for a while. It's his turn to be confused. Your smile gets broader by each passing second as your delicate hands trace his face and run over the salt and pepper patches of his beard. When you playfully ruffle his hair, your eyes are still droopy and dreamy and so damn kissable that he just can't help himself.

His other hand fondles with a loose strand of hair beside you on the pillow before twirling it between his fingers. You bite your lower lip and lift your head just enough for a brief peck on the tip of his nose. He chuckles, letting his fingers draw a line over the column of your neck, down to your chest, and at last they disappear beneath the sheets, settling comfortably on the warm expanse of your belly. 

Joel assumes that his presence is not too close to lock you in place, and yet not too loose to let you drift back into unconsciousness. You just have the perfect moment to escape. For goodness sake, rain is the one thing you choose over anything else. The thing you like a lot.

But you're still here, dazed eyes flickering all over his face and it just gives him a second thought. A new idea to test your patience. Seeing you still pinned under him and unmoving, was not really in his list when he decided to walk back home and wake you up. He chortles with amusement. If you want what he thinks you do, he could give you that... "Come on sweetheart, what's stoppin' you?"

His fingers drift lower, exploring the bare flesh of your thigh, right where his mouth was hours ago. Still as warm as he remembers, maybe a little bruised too. "It's all rainy outside. Ain't that what you wanted?"

"I know..." You mumble, an undertone of need sewn in your voice as you look down over the sheets that cover every movement of his hand. It's too dark for you to see anything anyway. He could easily toss the covers aside, but it's wickedly satisfying this way. "I'm- um, just feeling a little under the influence...and it's- uh, it's distracting."

His hand caresses its way to where he knows you need it the most, and you barely repress a shudder when his fingertips glide over your folds. But he barely feels you, a ghost of a touch hovering there as a smirk threatens to flicker at the corner of his mouth.

"Wonder if my hand's makin' a good influence or a bad one. What d'you say, baby?"

It pelts down steadily outside, but you don't seem to care the slightest about it. Neither does Joel. A low gasp emanates from you when his touch becomes proper, rubbing circles and spreading the slick over your clit as slow and unrushed as he physically can manage. You're still indecently wet after he'd brought you over the edge again and again before you dozed off... and the fact that some of his cum might be gathering in his hand is fueling his lewd thoughts.

You naughty girl.

"A very bad one, I see." He tuts, feeling your chest heaving up and down beneath him. It's easy to rile you up this way. Desperation is written in your expression... and he hasn't even started yet.

"She needs fixin', doesn't she?" Joel asks, bringing his movement to a sudden halt. You're too distracted by everything he does to form a coherent thought. He lifts an expectant brow, now actually waiting for an answer.

"Yes- yes Joel... need it so bad... so bad it hurts." You breathe, a helpless pout forming on your lips.

"I know baby. I know... Jus' lay down and let me take care of it, hm? How's that sound?" He demands again, but this time he doesn't give you a chance to respond as he pushes two fingers past your weeping hole, burying them knuckles deep within your warmth. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, eyelids heavy as you grasp his arm, squirming like a helpless, needy girl.

What a cruel man he is.

"Not off to a good start, angel. I know you can be more patient."

You nod quickly, biting your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from wriggling and twisting on the bed. For a split second, Joel considers pulling out to nuzzle his face between your legs and let the heat consume him. A perfect place to brave the cold, restless seasons. 

But his fingers aren't shy either. He starts with slow thrusts, effortlessly sliding in and out before picking up the pace. He makes you adjust to his rhythm, and when you let go and open up, the obscene moans and chocked out cries are all that fill the silence of the house. Jesus, he lives to hear them every day. He rewards you by curling his fingertips to hit that spot that makes you see stars.

You shudder particularly hard at that, more arousal pooling inside you and soaking his fingers. You're losing your grip with reality, and he can sense it as your legs begin to shake and your knee brushes over the denim of his jeans, but you still remember to abide by his "No squirming" rule.

You're so pliant and obedient in his hands that it does nothing but to spur Joel to give you more. And so he does.

"I like these sounds," He adds a third finger, tilting his head to whisper in your ear. "I dream about them all the time."

You whimper and tighten your hold around Joel's arm. When he feels that your orgasm is creeping impossibly close, his thumb joins and rubs rapid circles over your bundle of nerves and that's your undoing. You clench around him, walls tightening and squeezing his fingers deeper – if that's even possible – as waves of white-hot euphoria crash over your worn-out body and take over your senses. Your back arches involuntarily into him. A sound between a groan and a curse escapes his throat.

"That's it. Atta girl... that's it, so fuckin' beautiful."

His touch is unrelenting as he talks you through it with a string of sweet nothings. 

Only when you come down and rest back on the bed he slowly pulls out. You're panting heavily, face flushed and heated and so effortlessly seductive that Joel is sure no fucking artist could ever capture it in words of a poem or colors of a painting. Joel is the only one to witness this moment and it swells his chest with pride. He wants to drink it in, let it run through his veins like never-ending liquor.

He lifts his hand, smirking as you gape at the way it's glistening under the dim light. You're in awe. He softly places the tips between your swollen lips and you waste no time in swirling your tongue around them, licking the slick off as if it's a delightful lollipop. And the hazy look on your face says that it's more than just a sweet treat.

His own breathing hitches when you open your mouth a little wider and take him fully in, sucking and humming and driving him absolutely crazy. He shakes his head slightly, catching the playful gleam in your gaze.

"Hm. Still a very bad influence."

When you're fully recovered and satisfied, Joel lifts you up in his arms and walks towards the backyard, chuckling at your confused expression. You give a squeal and wrap your hands around his neck to keep yourself steady, at the same time trying to gauge what his next plan would be. You really have forgotten about the rain, haven't you?

He comes to a halt, making sure the blanket he'd just picked off the bed is not leaving any part of your body uncovered. The rainstorm has eased off considerably over the past hour, but he doesn't want to risk it. Keeping you warm and safe in the cold is and will always be his top priority, no matter if his back or knees protest from how much they ache. Hell, he aches for you and that content smile on your face. Nothing beats it.

"My girl still wants to go out, hm?"

Your eyes flicker between him and the half-open door, filled with excitement and delight and a tiny flicker of doubt. "Yes Joel... but...you sure you want to join in?"

"I don't know," He feigns innocence, pretending to think for a short while before his face lights up with an idea. "Do I get a kiss for it?"

You laugh and lean up to press your lips into his in a soft, lingering kiss. It's so tender and reassuring that he has to pull back before changing his mind and taking you back to the bed.

"Then it's settled."

It has been settled for a long time.

Maybe he can get used to it. Maybe you get a better idea of what you've made of him with your presence at times when he easily complies with things that make you happy. A heart made of ice, molten enough to experience the world with you all over again. Even if he gets soaked in the rain, he's alright with it. You kiss him and all the discomfort is forgotten.

He should give it time and learn to breathe again. Learn to stay, to settle. To let you know that you're all he sees.

Yeah, I don't want to hurt

There's so much in this world 

To make me bleed

Stay with me

Let's just breathe

Stay with me

You're all I see

The words are carved in his head. He chances a glance at the living room before walking past the door. Your guitar is placed on the couch. Maybe one day he'll bring himself to play his melodies for you too. He thinks that he's got a lot of time for it now. He wants an eternity with you, and in this wretched world, eternity lasts as long as you'll have him.

One, two... Ten droplets fall over him. He kisses you again, harder and longer. His ice-cold heart melts just a little more at your careless laughter. Just stay with me.

[absinthe-over-tea]

either way it's gonna || the pitt

pt 3 <<prev • next>>

pairing: jack abbott x f!resident!reader warnings: age gap (older man/younger woman), allusions to child abuse, suicide/drug overdose, canon-typical death a/n: Shit's about to get just a little✨messy✨. I've been legit floored by the response to this story so far. Thanks to everyone who's along for the ride with me on this. Pls let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list! Not beta read.

Everyone knew. Heather wouldn’t tell anyone about your work crush on an attending, and you certainly hadn’t told anyone else. But somehow, everyone seemed to know. Not only about your incredibly embarrassing and continually growing feelings for your attending, but there was also something else. It felt like you were consistently on the outside of a joke everyone else was privy to.  

It started with a raised eyebrow from Perlah after a standard intubation. Dr. Abbot had poked his head in looking for Robby, but ended up sticking around until you’d stabilized the patient. 

“You know I always appreciate the assist, but you didn’t have to stay. I had it under control.” 

“You always do,” he mused, that small ‘proud teacher’ smile on his face morphing into one of apology. He started to step back toward the door. “I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

“You didn’t!” you rushed to say, maybe a little too quickly. You took a breath before continuing, trying to recover some semblance of nonchalance. “But I know you were looking for Robby, so…” 

“Right, yeah, I should go, uh, find him for handoff. He wasn’t on the roof when I checked.” 

“I saw Gloria hovering earlier. Maybe check that surgical on-call room he thinks we don’t know he uses to hide in.” 

You both chucked, and he nodded in agreement. He hung in the doorway for an extra second, like maybe he wanted to say something else. But then his eyes darted to Perlah, who was extremely focused on the vent settings, and with a final tap to the door jam, he was gone. 

When you turned back to the patient to do a final vitals check before paging the ICU and moving on to the next case, Perlah was giving you a look. 

“What?” 

She shook her head, a grin plastered across her face. “Nothing.” She mumbled something in Tagalog under her breath on her way out of the room, and you made a mental note to ask Santos what the word ‘bobo’ meant. 

A few nights later, Myrna cornered you as you were leaving after your shift. 

“You’re not slick, sweet cheeks” 

“Excuse me?” you all but choked on the drink of water you’d just taken from your Hydroflask. 

“I saw you, checking out Dr. Abbot when he walked by earlier. You were checking out his ass!” Her voice was filled with mirth, but the volume made your eyes go wide. For the love of God, you hoped no one had heard her. 

“I was doing no such thing, Myrna!” 

“If you don’t climb that man like a tree, I will,” she warned. 

“You go ahead and try,” you laughed, giving her an encouraging thumbs up and taking backward steps away from her as quickly as possible to escape further interrogation. It’s a very good thing for everyone involved that Dana had cuffed her to her wheelchair that evening. 

Two weeks later, and it felt like all eyes were on you every time that you and Dr. Abbot were in the same vicinity. 

“There’s a pool,” Samira kindly informed you one morning, both of you looking at the board with thermoses in hand. You’d grumbled under your breath about people having a staring problem after noticing multiple sets of eyes glued to your brief and perfunctory hello exchanged with Dr. Abbot on his way out the door. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“There’s a betting pool on what’s going on between you and Dr. Abbot. I think just between the nurses right now — they’ve been trying to keep it from Collins since everyone knows you two are friends.” 

“That feels… wildly inappropriate,” you said eventually. 

Samira laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “It is. But you know how the gossip mill is around here. And Dr. Abbot’s been around more since you joined. Coming in a little earlier at night, doing handoff with Robby a few minutes later. It has people intrigued.” 

Her admission had the gears turning long after she’d excused herself before Robby could give her shit for staring at the board for too long. There were a million explanations for the supposed change in behavior. Maybe Robby asked him to start being around more to help during the transition of you settling after Langdon’s departure. Heather had said she’d been more worried about Robby since PittFest, maybe he felt the same and was around more to keep tabs on his friend. 

But there was a little voice in your head that hoped maybe it had something to do with you. 

It was all very disorienting. You were not this person — confused over whether some guy did or didn’t like you, reading into every casual touch and slightly-too-long-to-be-accidental stretch of eye contact, having inappropriate thoughts about a superior at work. 

You liked to keep work and your personal life in two very neat boxes. It keeps things from getting messy, and it helps you compartmentalize. That way, you don’t take out your frustrations with your mom or a rough night on your patients, and you don’t bring the bad days when you lose more patients than you save to Sunday brunch with your childhood best friend who just got engaged. 

Admittedly, The Pitt had already blurred those lines in more ways than one. Your close friendship with Heather, the girls' nights out with Samira, Santos and Garcia, the farmer’s market runs with Mel before baking with her and her sister.

But crossing a line into anything more than colleagues with Dr. Abbot felt infinitely more dangerous. Maybe the betting pool was wrong and it was just a coincidence that he was around a little bit more than before. Maybe they were right and he also felt whatever this was between them. 

Ultimately, it didn’t matter. Nothing was going to happen. The lines were drawn, and you were happy to keep things exactly as they were.  

Of course, you should have known that as soon as you’d decided that, universe would find a way to flip you a middle finger. 

*** 

When Jack stopped by the nurse’s station before finding Robby for handoff, Dana gave him an indecipherable look. 

“It’s been a rough day.” 

“They always are,” he murmured, more to himself than Dana. He went to pick up a tablet, but one of Dana’s hands reached out and covered his own. 

She told him about the college student who’d been brought in after her friend found her lying next to an empty bottle of pills after a big fight with her dad. How you and Robby got her intubated, but the hypoxia had already caused irreversible brain damage. How the girl’s father had come in and started screaming at you until Robby had restrained him and Dana had called security on him. The way you’d reacted after.

“I’ve never seen her shut down like that, and this is far from the worst loss she’s seen. I’m worried about her. And you know how Robby is with drug overdoses these days.” 

Robby took the drug cases harder ever since finding out about Langdon. Jack thought it had something to do with guilt over not seeing the signs sooner, the knowledge that had Santos not reported him, he could have ended up as an OD in one of their trauma rooms. 

But he swallowed hard at the thought of you beating yourself up over the case. It clearly wasn’t your fault. He assumed you must have been terrified by the thought of the patient’s father potentially getting aggressive with you, and he knows how that fear can shut you down, though he’s a little shocked at the idea of anything scaring you. To him, you always seemed somewhat fearless within the walls of a trauma room. 

He thanked Dana for the heads up and went to find Robby, assuming he’d be on the roof. But when he opened the door, his heart twisted with pure terror at the sight of you sitting there on the railing, too close to the edge for comfort.

You didn’t turn to look at him, though he knew you had to have heard the door. He tried to make his steps loud enough for you to hear him coming closer, not wanting to startle you. You didn’t even look at him as he came to stand next to you, just blankly staring ahead. 

“Y’know, you’re sort of in my spot,” he said lamely, grasping for anything to break the silence. To pull your gaze to him instead of whatever fixed point you’d chosen on the skyline. 

You shrugged. “You and Robby always come up here after a rough day. Figured I’d see what the fuss was about.” 

“Be sure to leave a Google Review.” It was a stupid joke, but you huffed in what was almost a laugh. He took it as a good sign. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” he promised as he gently wrapped a hand around your wrist where it sat next to you on the railing. “But can you do me a favor and come back to this side of the railing?” 

Your gaze shifted first to where your hands met, then to Jack’s face. He’d tried his best to sound casual, not let any of the worry seep into his voice, but the look you gave him confirmed he was unsuccessful. You nodded, easily swinging your legs around until your feet were back on what Jack considered safer territory. 

He let go of your wrist, but you reached out and grabbed onto his arm. “I wasn’t—I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…needed some air. Needed to breathe without the smell of antiseptic. Be somewhere that wasn’t the ED.” 

The relief that flooded through him was instant and overwhelming. He didn’t want to think too hard about what it meant. 

“I get that. And I meant what I said — you don’t have to talk about it. But if you need someone to talk to, someone who gets it, I’m always around to listen.” He leaned his head down, making sure you met his eyes as he spoke. 

“I’m usually good at holding it together, compartmentalizing. But it’s been harder lately,” you admitted, voice breaking at the end as you looked up at him, and fuck, Jack could see how hard you were fighting for control, trying to hold everything you were feeling at bay. He knew exactly what that felt like, and how destructive it could be when the dam finally broke. 

He couldn’t stop himself. “Come here,” he murmured softly, pulling you into his arms and holding you tight against his chest. “Let it out, sweetheart.” Your hands clutched onto the fabric of his scrubs, and he could feel the fight drain out of you as you let out a sob.

It occurred to him that this was something sacred, you trusting him like this. That when you’d needed comfort, you’d gone to the roof. His spot. Maybe it was subconscious on your part, but warmth filled him at the idea that you’d inadvertently gone searching for a piece of him.

You both stood there for God knows how long, him whispering into your hair as you fell apart. Assuring you it was alright, that he had you, that you were safe. 

Slowly, you came back to yourself. Your shoulders stopped shaking, your hands softened against his waist, your breathing returned to normal. He could have happily held you against him like that forever, protecting you from the world while you pieced yourself back together — patients and night shift handoff with Robby be damned. 

But eventually, you took one last deep breath and pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “Sorry,” you mumbled sheepishly. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

“You might need a new scrub top,” you nodded toward his chest, which was now sporting a wet spot from your tears. He just shrugged; he could honestly care less. “And I’m sure I look a right mess right now,” you joked weakly, disentangling one of your arms to wipe your nose with the long-sleeved shirt you had on under your scrubs. 

He allowed himself a rare moment to fully take you in, from your red-rimmed and glassy eyes to your flushed skin to the strands of hair now stuck to your cheeks. 

“You still look beautiful to me,” he whispered before his brain could remind his mouth why he wasn’t supposed to admit things like that out loud. Your eyes widened in surprise, darting back and forth between his in search of something. 

He hadn’t meant to tell you that, but Jack had always been a stubborn man. He wouldn’t take the words back now that they’d escaped. Instead, he forced himself to continue meeting your gaze, letting you see just how much he meant it and preparing himself for you to pull away and let him down easy. 

Except you didn’t pull away. He watched enraptured as your decision clicked into place in that pretty, brilliant head of yours, and you leaned up to press your mouth against his. 

The kiss was soft, quick. Before he even had a chance to fully process what you’d done, you were pulling back and waiting to see what his reaction would be. For a split second, you both just blinked at each other. 

“Jack,” you whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, the question in our voice, and his mouth crashed back into yours. 

This time, the kiss wasn’t soft or quick. It was messy, desperate. Months of pent up tension and swallowed feelings being let loose. One arm held you anchored against him while his other hand slid up your neck to angle your jaw just the way he wanted. “Say it again,” he demanded against your lips. 

You didn’t have to ask him what he meant. “Jack,” you gasped into his mouth, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue tracing your bottom lip. Your fingers dove into the hair at his neck, pulling yourself flush against him.  

Kissing you was all-consuming. Nothing existed except the two of you and this warmth taking root in Jack’s chest that he hadn’t felt in so long. He wanted to drown in the taste of you. He wanted the world to stop spinning so he could stay on this roof, this god-forsaken roof that might now be one of his favorite places on earth, forever.

The door to the roof banged open, and you both broke apart at the sound. Robby was standing frozen in the doorway. 

You pulled away from him like you’d been burned. “I’m so sorry, I have to go.” 

Before Jack could fully process what was even happening, you’d slipped past Robby and disappeared back down the stairs without so much as a backwards glance.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list: @brnesblogposts @nosebeers

[sadiesdoll]

WHERE IT’S SAFE.

ellie williams x reader | fluff & a little bit of angst ♡ patching up ellie. wc: 1782

contains: descriptions of violence, disassociation, panic responses, emotional intimacy, intimate nudity (non-sexual).

a/n: im weeping and screaming

Enjoy ♡

The door slammed behind you as you locked it tight, your chest heaving. Ellie stumbled in after you, barely upright, her hoodie soaked in blood and something worse. Her hands were shaking. Her face was pale. And she wouldn't look at you.

"Sit," you said gently, guiding her toward the chair without waiting for a reply. She moved like she was in a daze, limbs stiff, haunted eyes still scanning the room like she wasn't convinced it was safe.

You crouched in front of her, already digging through your first aid kit with trembling fingers. "Ellie," you whispered. "I need to see."

She gave the smallest nod, and you peeled back her jacket—slow, careful not to jostle her too much. That's when you saw it. 

A long, raw gash along her ribs, blood crusted along her arm, scrapes up her neck. Nothing too deep, nothing infected—but it was bad enough.

Your heart clenched.

"They were everywhere," she rasped. "I—I almost didn't get out."

You swallowed hard and dipped a cloth in warm water. "But you did get out."

She didn't respond. Her gaze was locked somewhere far away.

Not just far—gone. Like she wasn't really in the room with you anymore.

Her eyes were glassy, unfocused, staring past your shoulder at nothing. Breathing shallow. Shoulders tense like she was still there, still fighting.

You dabbed at the blood carefully, your touch featherlight despite the tension in your chest.

She flinched.

"Sorry," you murmured.

"Doesn't hurt," she said quickly—too quickly.

You paused, watching the way her jaw clenched, how she wouldn't look at you.

Even like this—bleeding, trembling, barely pieced together—she was still trying to pretend she wasn't falling apart. 

Like if she said it enough, it might be true. Like staying tough meant she hadn't just survived hell.

But then... it happened again.

You saw it in her eyes first-the way the light dimmed, how her gaze slid past you and fixed on nothing. Her shoulders went rigid. 

Her breathing turned shallow, uneven. It was like someone had flipped a switch and pulled her under.

"Ellie," you breathed, softer now, familiar with the signs.

No answer.

She was dissociating again.

Her hands were still, fingers slightly curled, her whole body frozen like she was somewhere else—back in that alley, or that house, or wherever her mind had fled to escape the weight of it all.

You dropped the cloth. Moved closer.

"Ellie... hey. You're doing it again," you whispered, touching her knee gently.

"Come back to me."

You brought her hand to your chest, pressing it flat against your heartbeat.

Steady. Real.

"That's me. Right here."

Still nothing.

So you reached up, cradling her face in both hands this time. Her skin was cold.

Her lips slightly parted, breath shallow.

"Ellie," you said again, firmer now—but still soft. "Look at me, baby. You're safe."

Her eyes twitched. A small flicker of something passed through them. Then, slowly, finally, she blinked—and her focus shifted back to you.

"There you are," you whispered, thumb brushing along her cheek. "It's okay. I've got you."

Her voice broke the silence, barely audible.

"I thought if I died out there, no one would even know I was gone."

Your breath hitched. She wasn't crying, but her voice trembled like she was holding back a flood.

"I kept thinking about you. Wondering if you'd be waiting... or if you'd just think I disappeared."

You leaned in and pressed your forehead to hers.

"I'd never stop looking for you," you whispered. "Not ever."

You stayed there for a moment, just breathing together. Then, gently, you reached for her other hand—still bloody, scraped raw— but you didn’t care. You brought it to your lips. You kissed each knuckle, one by one.

"I like your hands," she murmured, voice small.

You smiled softly. "Yeah?"

"They're warm. Not like mine."

"I like yours too," you said. "They're strong. They saved us both more than once."

You went back to cleaning the gash on her side, slower now, more careful.

Every time she winced, you soothed her with soft words. When you finished, you pressed the last gauze into place and leaned in to kiss just above it—gentle, reverent.

Then another kiss. One at her temple.

One at the corner of her mouth.

And finally—when she leaned into you— you kissed her lips.

It was slow and tender, her breath catching like she wasn't used to being touched so softly. Her hands gripped your shirt, grounding herself, and you could feel the way her whole body trembled—not from the pain anymore, but from letting go.

When you pulled away, her eyes fluttered open, glassy and unsure.

"I missed you," she whispered.

"I'm right here," you said. "You're safe. You did everything you could, and you came home."

Her forehead dropped to your shoulder.

You held her tightly, burying your nose in her hair, breathing her in. Blood and salt and the faint scent of her skin beneath it all.

"Don't let go," she said.

"Never."

You stayed there like that for a long time

—just holding her. Letting her come down. Letting her remember she was still alive, still loved.

And when you finally pulled her close and helped her onto the bed, she let you. Curled into your chest like she belonged there.

The world outside could wait.

Tonight, all that mattered was that she made it back to you. And you weren't letting her go.

You helped her lie down on your shared bed.

You kissed every bruise. Every scrape.

Her fingers found yours and didn’t let go.

She curled into your chest like it was the only place she could breathe.

“I keep thinking…” she whispered against your neck. “What if I never get to grow old with you?”

Your heart cracked open.

“Don’t say that,” you breathed, holding her tighter.

“I think about it all the time, every time I’m out there. Fighting.” She said. “That one day I won’t come back, and you’ll be here. And I’ll just be—gone. And I won’t get to see what you look like with wrinkles and grey hair. Or how your voice sounds when you say still love me after fifty years.”

You kissed her hair.

“We’ll get that,” you said. “You and me.  Even if it takes the world falling apart.”

She buried her face in your neck. “Promise me.” She said while her hand reached for your waist.

“I promise.”

A long silence.

Then: “Can I touch you?”

You blinked. “Of course.”

Her hand slipped under your shirt—not with lust, but reverence. She traced your ribs, your waist, the soft skin of your stomach like she was trying to memorize every inch.

“I thought about this when I thought I was gonna die,” she murmured. “Not sex. Not anything like that. Just.. this. Feeling your skin. Knowing you’re alive.”

She reached for the hem of your shirt. “Is it okay if i..?”

Your eyes met hers, all softness and trust. “Yeah.” You breathed.

You let her take your shirt off. Then hers. Just warmth, skin to skin.

Her lips brushed your collarbone. 

“I love you,” she said, voice shaking. “I love you so much it hurts.”

“I know, Els.” You whispered. “I love you.”

She kissed your sternum, then the side of your chest, her hands roaming gently. Then she hesitated, her fingers hovering over your inner thigh. 

“Can I?” She asked again, quieter. 

You nodded.

She let her palm settle there, her thumb tracing delicate circles on the inside of your thigh. Not near your center. Just close enough to make you whimper.

Not from desire.

From how good it felt to be touched like this. Like she knew you. Like she cherished you.

“Shit,” she whispered. “You’re so soft here.”

Your breath shook. You squeezed her hand. 

“I didn’t know being touched like this could feel like.. breathing.”

Her head dropped against your shoulder. 

“I almost died thinking I’d never get to lay here again. Just like this.”

You didn’t speak. Just kissed her temple. 

Then her voice cracked, slurred with exhaustion.

“I don’t wanna be a ghost in your life. I don’t want you to remember me—I want to be here. With you.”

Your throat burned.

“You’re not a ghost,” you whispered. “You’re here. You’re mine.”

She looked at you then, eyes wide and wet.

“I would’ve come back from the dead just to hold your hand one more time.”

And you let her. Let her explore your body like it was the only thing keeping her sane.

Let her kiss the hollow of your neck, the curve of your stomach, the scars you never let anyone see.

Her breath hitched. Her mouth hovered lower, pressing the faintest kiss over the curve of your chest—just above where your heart beat loud and steady beneath her lips.

Not sexual desire.

Not need.

Just longing.

Like she was trying to tell you something she didn't know how to say. Like kissing you there might be the only way to make you understand.

You felt her exhale shakily against your skin.

Her hands didn't wander. They just held you.

And still, that kiss burned.

You let her love you.

Not with lust.

But with every ache in her chest. Every brush of her fingers. Every shaky breath she took against your skin.

She pulled back just enough to look at you-really look at you. Eyes dazed, reverent, like seeing you this close had unraveled something in her.

"You're so fucking pretty," she whispered, voice hoarse, like it physically hurt to hold that truth inside any longer. "Like—it hurts to look at you. I don’t deserve it.”

And before you could answer, her mouth was on yours.

Not rushed. Not hungry.

It was slow. Deep. Endless.

The kind of kiss that felt like falling into the center of the earth.

You whimpered into her mouth, and her breath hitched. Her hand cradled your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek as she tilted her head and kissed you deeper.

 You could feel the tremble in her fingers. The ache behind every movement.

"Fuck. Ellie," you breathed against her lips—her name breaking out of you in a soft, shaking moan.

She gasped at the sound. Pressed closer.

She kissed you again, harder this time, but not rough. Just full. A kiss like gravity. Like a tether pulling you both back to the earth.

She moaned your name into your mouth, voice breaking with it—like saying it too loud might shatter her.

You didn't know how long you stayed like that, tangled in each other, your mouths slow and warm and desperate with affection. But when you finally pulled away, your breaths were fast and shallow, hearts thudding like drums.

Your foreheads stayed pressed together.

"I love you," she said, wrecked. "God, I love you so fucking much."

You kissed her once more-soft and slow— then eased her down into the blanket, tucking her against your chest. Her breath hitched once, then began to steady. Your hand moved gently through her hair as her body relaxed, piece by piece.

She fell asleep there, wrapped in you like a lifeline.

She didn't flinch in her sleep this time. Just breathed. Soft and steady. Like she was home.

whew.

Critcism and ideas are heavily appreciated (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

thank you for reading! ♡

[sparklingchim]

game on | jjk

pairing: jungkook x oc

word count: 2.2k

tropes: footballer!jungkook, fake dating, f2l

rating: pg

warnings: koo gets scolded for sleeping around 🥺, playboy jk <3, hints of a threesome 🫢, oc fights w a laundry machine

summary: jungkook is in desperate need to polish up his playboy image, and naturally, he turns to you for help.

a/n: hii my pretty besties!!!! it's my bday😋 so i wanted to share this silly piece i've been having so much fun writing!!! love uuu n treat urself to smth nice for me today <3 mwah😙

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Jeon Jungkook is a charming man – and he is well aware of the fact. He plays that card effortlessly.

Most of the time, it works in his favour. Gets him what he wants, opens doors, soften blows.

But sometimes, it backfires. Spectacularly.

Which is why, right now, he’s standing in front of his fuming manager, who is radiating enough anger to fill the entire office.

The sight isn’t foreign to Jungkook. He wouldn’t say he is used to it, but he has found himself often enough in this situation to recognise the signs of deep trouble.

It’s not just Jungkook’s charm that’s making things complicated. It’s also the fact that he is famous.

He doesn’t flaunt it – never brags, never name-drops. That’s not his thing. But he’s not stupid either. His name (dare he say it) carries a bit of weight, and he’s learned how to use it. Quietly. Casually. Just enough to make things go his way.

Bending the world to his will... until the world pushes back.

And right now, it’s pushing back hard.

One thing Jeon Jungkook does enjoy about being a pro footballer, though, is the way women obsess over him.

He knows they love him – sees it in the comments they leave on his ig posts, sees it in the DMs flooding his inbox daily, and experiences it firsthand at public events, where hordes of fans scream his name. Jungkook thrives on that attention.

However, something he doesn’t love, and what he was never prepared for, is the media. The way they scrutinise his every move, how his face ends up on every headline anytime he does something remotely noteworthy.

And now, thanks to his latest shenanigan getting caught by the press, here he is. Getting chewed out by Taesung, his manager, while Jiwoo from PR watches with that tight-lipped expression that always means bad news.

Jungkook’s eyes are downcast, bracing himself for the scolding that’s already begun.

“You’ve gone too far this time, Jungkook.”

His manager speaks in a flat, monotonous voice, void of even the slightest hint of disappointment, as if he’d long since given up expecting anything different.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to clean up the mess you leave behind?”

A sense of guilt creeping up on Jungkook, even though he knows if he were just a regular guy, none of this would matter at all. And he finds it a bit unfair.

But to survive in this business, you can’t complain about unfairness.

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Taesung barks.

Jungkook remains silent. He forces himself to.

“If there was more involved than just alcohol-”

“No! Nothing like that,” he denies, his response firm and immediate. “It was just alcohol – and, well, just good vibes because we won the last match, and with the World Cup being next, everyone was just really excited.”

If he had known what kind of trouble a simple, innocent celebration of his team’s win at a club would bring, he would’ve gone straight home yesterday. He would’ve skipped the rounds of drinks, the flashing lights, the loud music, and definitely the attention. But hindsight was useless now.

“Good,” his manager says. “I’m glad you were happy.” Mock sympathy drips from his voice. “Perhaps the last time you are going to be happy this year.”

Jungkook nods, accepting the gravity of the situation. No more clubs, no more parties, no more girls.

At least, not for a while. His reputation had taken a few hits recently, and this latest mess wasn’t helping. He could almost hear the whispers: reckless, irresponsible, unprofessional. The kind of things that could ruin him if he didn’t get a handle on it.

He clenched his jaw. No more distractions. From now on, it was all about the game. He needed to remind everyone why he was Jeon Jungkook — the best on the field, not just the headlines.

“You’re no longer in for the World Cup. You’re out.”

His head snaps up at that. Did he hear that right?

“What?! What do you mean?”

“Myungbo doesn’t want you on the team anymore.” Taesung’s words sound heavy and final.

Jungkook’s heart pounds in his ears.

His world tilts. The room seems to spin, the edges of his vision darkening. This wasn’t just a setback — it was a disaster. The World Cup was everything to him, and now it felt like it was slipping through his fingers. The crushing weight of the news settles on his chest, making it hard to breathe. One silly night is all that happened.

He can’t believe that a single photo of him leaving the club with two girls clinging to each arm has cost him his spot on the national football team. He went home with two girls – so what?

But he doesn’t voice his frustration. He knows better than to add fuel to the fire. Speaking his mind now would only escalate the situation and make things worse. Jungkook knows from experience.

He swallows hard, forcing himself to stay calm. His pulse is still racing, but he takes a deep breath, focusing on controlling his emotions. He has to keep a level head if he’s going to find a way to fix this.

“There has to be a way to fix this.” His eyes move to Jiwoo, his PR agent. “Right?”

His manager fixes him with a stern glare. “Jungkook, remember the promise you gave everyone a few months ago?” Taesung reminds him.

Jungkook cringes. When he made a promise to avoid actions that might damage his reputation, he didn’t think it’d be that serious. He cut back on going out, made the effort to play the role of the “good boy” but really – come on. He can’t maintain that facade for an eternity. Especially after a triumphant victory like yesterday’s.

Taking away his spot on the national football team? He didn’t think that was possible.

“How many more times do we have to fix your problems, because you don’t care enough? How many times do we have to repeat this scenario?”

“I promise I’ll better myself,” Jungkook pleads desperately, looking back and forth between the two of them. Someone has to believe him, help him.

“Do you genuinely believe this country wants to be represented by a 20-year-old boy, who can’t keep his personal life under control?” Taesung asks, eyebrows deeply pinched together. “This isn’t just about you, Jungkook. It’s about the team, the fans, and the nation. They need a role model, not a scandal waiting to happen.”

“I know. I know.” Jungkook scrambles for something convincing to say, desperate to sway their decision. This can’t be it. He won’t let his career take a hit because of something like this. “But – but this isn’t too bad. This is fixable. I can fix this.” His voice quivers with a desperation he barely recognises as his own. “Jiwoo.” Jungkook turns to her with pleading eyes. “You always know what to do. Please, help me?”

“I did propose an idea but-”

“We’re not doing that,” Taesung cuts in. “It’s off the table.”

“What is it?” Jungkook’s eyes bounce back and forth between them. “I’ll do anything. This is – this is everything to me. You have to give me a chance.”

Taesung scoffs. “A chance? As far as I know, you have been given countless chances.”

Sweat coats the back of Jungkook’s neck.

Taesung understands just how much Jungkook has fought to secure his place on the national team. He’s well aware that it’s one of Jungkook’s greatest dreams, a pinnacle of his career that he’s poured countless hours of hard work and sacrifice into. That’s why, each morning, when he wakes up to the latest news of Jungkook’s escapades, he feels a deep sense of disappointment, texting Jungkook with a dejected shake of his head to visit his office first thing in the morning.

When it’s all he wants, like Jungkook claims, why doesn’t he act like it?

“If the head coach won’t give me a chance now, he’ll never do. This is my last opportunity to change his mind, make him rethink. I need to at least try.”

Jiwoo looks at Taesung, waiting for his approval. He nods.

“Very simply put: you need a girlfriend,” she says.

For a second, Jungkook is at loss for words.

“A girlfriend? How’s that going to help?” Jungkook tilts his head in confusion. This is not how he thought Jiwoo was going to save him.

“You need a girlfriend to help polish up your image as a player. It’ll make you appear more like a gentleman, softer and nicer. We need to completely shift public perception and counter the negative image they’ve formed about you. It’s all about changing the narrative,” she explains.

“And that is not something we can easily achieve,” Taesung interjects. “Rebranding your entire persona is not feasible at this stage. You’ve been projecting what kind of boy you are to the media for the past two years. It’s going to be incredibly difficult to make a sudden shift look genuine.”

“No! We — I can make it seem real. This is my only chance,” Jungkook insists, his voice gaining a hint of determination. For a moment, breathing feels a bit easier again. “The World Cup is just two months away. That’s enough time to shift public opinion and prove I’m worthy of representing the country on the team.” There’s a hopeful lilt in his voice as he speaks, clinging to the belief that he might not have to bid farewell to his biggest dream after all.

But Taesung doesn’t look as hopeful as Jungkook feels.

“How are we going to find a girl who will agree to this? Someone who isn’t an obsessive fan, understands this is purely professional, and can keep quiet? You won’t be able to pull this off.”

“I was actually thinking-” Jiwoo starts, but she’s cut off.

Jungkook hesitates, glancing between them before speaking. “Actually... I think I already have someone in mind.” His voice is more measured now. “That’s not the issue.” Jungkook doesn’t need to think twice.

Taesung sighs while Jiwoo looks at Jungkook apologetically.

“You can’t rebrand your entire persona from a playboy to a lover boy within a month, Jungkook. This is over.” His manager shakes his head, a sense of finality glimmering in his eyes.

One thing that Jungkook forgot to mention is that he is an extremely competitive man, too.

~

“This is ridiculous.”

You kick the laundry machine in frustration, but all you end up doing is yelping and clutching your aching foot.

“That’s the third time this month,” you mutter under your breath. “What did I even spend all that money on if it’s just going to break down whenever it feels like it?”

You shoot a death glare at the machine, teetering on the edge of losing your mind.

“Guess I’ll have to use the public laundromat again,” you sigh, grabbing the overflowing laundry basket filled with your and your roommate's clothes, and heading out of the bathroom with a huff.

On your way to the front door, the doorbell rings.

Please, you think. You were hoping for some quiet, uninterrupted time to deep-clean your dorm on this peaceful Sunday with no one around.

But when you peek through the peephole and see Jungkook standing there, your frustration melts away. You swing the door open, the laundry basket tumbling to the floor beside you in your haste.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim. “You’re timing is perfect! Can you please fix my laundry machine again? It’s been acting up, and I’m getting frustrated.” You groan annoyed.

Jungkook doesn’t share the same excitement upon seeing you.

You grow smaller and take an indecisive step back.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, noticing the tension in his features. “Did you lose the match yesterday? I couldn’t keep up because I had too much cramming to do last night.”

While studying medicine had always been your dream, the reality is less exciting. Right now, it means sleepless nights and relentless pressure. You know that pursuing this path will offer you many privileges later in life, but you have to suffer first.

“I need your help.”

His dark eyes, usually bright and full of energy, seem clouded with worry, and his hair falls messily over his forehead, like he’s run his hands through it a hundred times in frustration.

“Are you okay?” You study him closely, scanning his face for any signs of injury. Physically, he seems fine — still tall, muscular, and as fit as ever. But something is clearly off.

“You need to do something for me.”

“I can help,” you reply, your voice soft with concern. ‘But what is it…?”

“Don’t call me crazy for it.”

“Just tell me.”

“Can you be my girlfriend?”

You blink, repeatedly.

“Huh?”

You start giggling when he doesn’t add more. You expect him to clarify or laugh along, but Jungkook stays serious, stepping closer and gently taking your hands in his. You look down at them, then back up at his face, utterly bewildered.

“You’re silly, Jungkook. If someone on the team made you do this, tell them you did the punishment and quit acting so weird.”

It’s too early in the morning for Jungkook’s nonsense.

“No, ___, you don’t understand.” He squeezes your hands when he feels you trying to pull them back. “I actually need you to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Fake date me.”

[sourkiki]

MEDDLE ABOUT. (TEASER)

SYNOPSIS: Being in a friends with benefit relationship with a guitarist from an infamous rock band spells nothing but trouble for the both of you. You had told yourself to not fall in love with him, to maintain the distance. But as time goes on and the lines start to blur, you realized you've fallen into a deep hole. You ended up backing out and Jay only realized his mistake when it was too late.

CONTENT: friends with benefit relationship, hurt with comfort, emotionally constipated jay, rockband au, idol x fan trope, happy ending, only has plot and no porn, jay has committment and relationship issues, reader has issues as well, more tags will be added when the full fic is done.

NOTE: hello! guess who's back with another fic... this time it's for jay because uh, i can't stop thinking about how meddle about is made for jay. this may be, by far the saddest fic i've written so yea. comment or send an ask off-anon if you wish to be tagged for the full fic, thanks!

Being a fan of an idol can be fun. Attending concert after concert, meeting new people due to common interests and the list goes on. But being able to personally know the idol can be fun, in its own secretive, cliche way. That’s how you met Park Jongseong—a guitarist of an infamous rock band: Burned Out Star.

They made their debut a few months ago by releasing their debut song: Bite Me. The song topped every single music chart out there, causing their popularity to skyrocket until there’s no return. 

In your entire life, you’ve never expected to end up in a relationship with Park Jongseong. Oh wait, a friends with benefit relationship, to be more specific. The day he settles down and manages to find a partner for himself is the day when the Internet will blow up.

You have seen how insane fans can be when they find out their precious, beloved idol is in a romantic relationship. Which made you thank yourself for not being an idol, not that you wanted to be in the first place. 

Which brings you to your current situation. You’re laying in a bed, in a room that doesn’t belong to you. Strands of hair stuck to your forehead. Your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat along with bitemarks decorating your neck, collarbone and inner thighs.

Basically wherever that’s clear for him to cover it with marks. You couldn’t move, not when you had gone at it like ballistic animals for the past two hours or so. As far as you were aware, it was already late at night, which means you’ll be staying over at his home.

Which was nothing new. It’s a common routine for the two of you—you choosing to stay over at his place while he’s preparing either dinner or supper for the both of you. You eventually got out of bed on trembling legs, slipping back into your undergarments and tossed one of his oversized shirts over your frame while heading to the kitchen. Your stomach growled out loud at the fragrance of pasta that’s currently being tossed in a pan. 

“Smells good,” you commented, pouring yourself a glass of water while you leaned against the counter, watching as Jay turned off the stove, giving you a bigger portion of the pasta. 

“Of course it does. I made this,” he retorted but his lips tugged upward in a proud smile as he handed your plate to you, along with a fork.

The both of you ate while chatting and laughing with one another. If it was another universe, you would’ve been a regular couple living your domestic life to the fullest. In fact, the life you’re leading now is the dream of a fan—being able to stay over at his luxurious apartment that oversees the city, giving you a magnificent bird’s eye view as well. Another plus point is that you’re able to get free, mouthwatering and five-stars Michelin restaurants worthy of food made by him as well. 

As much as you want this to be something more, something real, it was nothing more than a simple fan's dream. You’ve already bypassed the unspoken forbidden rules between a celebrity and a fan. If you wished to be in an actual, romantic relationship with Jay, you’ll be testing the limits. 

And besides, you knew that Jay will never feel the same way towards you.

~ 

“...You’re what?” Jay stares at you, dumbfounded and rendered speechless. 

It was after their concert in Seoul—the start of their most anticipated world tour where they’ll be travelling around the world, performing in front of huge crowds. For a band like them, it’s one of their dreams to be able to do tours. Jay still had adrenaline pumping through his veins after giving his best performance onstage. What he didn’t know however, is how his life would turn upside down when you approached him after their concert was over. 

“I want to end this, Jay,” you repeated what you said, arms crossed with your nails digging into the skin of your forearms, an unreadable expression on your face. 

The guitarist felt like a pail of cold, freezing water was dumped on him. The surroundings turned numb. A faint ringing sound was playing in his ears. He swore his heart stopped beating for a solid moment, falling into the depths of his stomach. He stared at you with a bewildered expression, forehead glimmered underneath the backstage lights with sweat droplets rolling down his face. 

“W-What?” He spluttered out. 

“Why now?” 

You pursed your lips, uncrossing your arms and let it fall by your side. “Because I’m starting to fall in love with you. I know we agreed to not get attached to one another but fuck, here I am, falling head over hells for you. Which is why I’m being the bigger person here by backing out.” 

Jay couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “And you’re just gonna leave, just like that?” 

You flashed him a watery smile, tears brimming in your eyes. The sight of those tears felt like an arrow had been fired right at his chest—aimed at where his heart is. “Yes, why should I put up a fight for something I can never have in the first place? This is goodbye, Jay-ah. Thank you for the memories and good luck for your tour.”

You turned to walk away while Jay simply stood there. He should move. Take a step forward to close the widening distance but yet, he couldn’t. He remained rooted to the ground, watching hopelessly as you got further and further away from him, until you were gone. The moment you vanished from his sight is the moment he knew he had made a horrible mistake.

The mistake of letting you slip from his grasp. 

regular taglist: @chuhees, @byshens, @emisluvr, @riqomi, @onlyywwon, @jjung-v, @jun2ki, @rikisoup, @i-love-hannah-more-than-chan, @hoonstrology, @zerocoded, @flqwerjo,

meddle about taglist: @mryeyy, @gyuslilies, @toastmenace, @coffeemightkillme, @dearestdreamies, @mssishipi, @iwaplant, @cutehoons02, @myjjongie, @lhspeachie, @vvenusoncasual, @stercul1a,

[tranquilreign]

competitive much? | oneshot

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

🗒 details

pairing; jungkook/reader genre: fluff, angst, rivals to lovers, tattooartist au! warnings; swearing, lustful thoughts and slight lustful actions, jungkook's an ass, mental health, anxiety attacks and mentions anti-depressants. word count: 2.9k

🖋 synopsis

competitive (adj.) kuhm·peh·tuh·tuhv having or displaying a strong desire to be more successful than others.

nothing boils your blood more than your co-worker jeon jungkook. both of you competing to be the best, and he always comes out on top. but this time, he takes it too far.

🖇links

jungkook masterlist main masterlist request | request rules prompt list

Today might be the worst day of your life. You had finally had a female client who was more than happy for you to tattoo her. She had explained her idea. A snake, but as you went further down its body, it slowly formed into a trail of flowers. It was your clients' way of showing the representation of beauty and danger.

When she first arrived, she was uncertain about what she wanted. However, after a few sessions of conversation and design work, you both agreed on a final concept that she loved. Now, she sat not in your chair, but in your co-worker Jungkook's chair.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jungkook had emerged from the back just as your client arrived for her appointment. He glanced over your shoulder and scoffed at the design in your hands.

"Fuck off Jungkook," you muttered. "Afternoon! It's good to see you again, Clara."

“It’s great to see you as well! I’m really excited for this,” Clara exclaimed enthusiastically.

You smiled, turning the iPad in your hand to face her. Clara gasped, looking at the design in awe.

"I know we initially agreed on a final design, but if you take a closer look here," you said as you zoomed in on the tail, "I've modified some of the flowers into wilting roses and thorns to further emphasise the balance between beauty and danger."

"It looks amazing! I think this is such a good addition to the design!"

"Great! When you're ready, I can take you through the back to help you get set up with the stencil," you smiled, opening the small door that connected the two registers.

"If you don't mind me butting in." You let your head fall back at the voice. Jungkook. You spun on the spot, a fake smile evident.

"Yes?"

Jungkook held out his hand, silently asking to look at your design, even though he had seen it earlier. Reluctantly, you shoved the iPad into his hands. Clara looked at Jungkook, her eyes filling with desire. This happened every time a female client walked into the studio. And to say it pissed you off would be an understatement.

"You see, changing the snake's mouth from closed to open transforms your tattoo into something far more menacing. While snakes are captivating in their beauty, it’s the moment they prepare to strike that they become truly terrifying," Jungkook explained as he confidently handed back the iPad.

"Yeah, thanks for the advice, we'll think about-"

"That is truly amazing!" Clara praised. Jungkook smirked, glancing at you for a moment.

“I’ll get this stencil printed for you and tattoo you myself,” Jungkook stated firmly, as if your presence didn’t even phase him.

"Yes, please!" Clara beamed, allowing herself to be escorted through the back and into Jungkook's chair.

You stood there in shock, aware of how competitive Jungkook was when it came to clients. This felt like a low blow, even for him. You moved to the back and stood beside him, prepared to help as he set up. You hurried around the room, gathering any inks Jungkook needed for the upcoming tattoo. Once you finished, he sent you back to the front desk.

Sitting in the chair at the first register, you tapped your stylist gently against your iPad, having lost motivation to create any new designs for the studio. A few hours had gone by when Clara was ready to leave. She had bid you a farewell, handing over a decent tip for Jungkook.

"Well, how much did she leave me?" Jungkook asked smugly, emerging from the back.

Without saying a word, you slid the money along to him, staring out the window. He slid the notes into his hand and counted each one slowly, trying to rub it in more. Typically, you would bite back, arguing with him for stealing another client from you. But this time, you felt defeated.

"I'm going to go for my lunch," you muttered, pushing past Jungkook and grabbing your worn leather jacket.

Jungkook's smile faltered for a moment, finding it strange you hadn't begun to argue with him. He always liked it when you started yelling at him. There was something about you being angry that really turned him on.

There was no denying Jungkook found you extremely attractive. When you first walked into the studio with your job application, Jungkook knew he was going to hire you immediately. He was truly mesmerised by your work, finding how you viewed art inspiring.

Yet despite his huge crush on you, he would tease you as if there was no tomorrow. Riling you up until you exploded, yelling at him. You'd sometimes even throw a book or two at him.

But you both knew this type of stuff was only banter. Right?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Without saying another word, you left the studio and crossed the street. You slowly made your way into the coffee shop, sitting at an empty table and ordering a cup of green tea through the cafe's mobile app.

You sat, questioning whether or not you really should be working at the studio when you were barely getting any work done. At the moment, women are the ones mostly looking to get tattoos, which means that it was game for Jungkook.

He was attractive. Very attractive, and he knew he was. Every opportunity, he would flirt with any potential female client who walked through the door. That made sure they would choose him as their artist.

You were so torn. The whole reason you wanted to work with Jungkook is that you had seen his work all over Instagram. And he was good at what he did. An added bonus was that he was incredibly hot. You could have screamed when you first saw him in person. His long hair fell in front of his face, and as he read your application, he gently played with his lip rings.

You couldn't help but stare at his muscular arms. His right arm was fully covered with tattoos that extended down to his knuckles. You noticed the way the muscles tensed slightly as he turned the page of your application. He sat lazily in his chair, his legs spread open slightly, giving you a full view of him. You bit your lip, as dirty thoughts began to creep in the longer you stared. With a clap of his hands, he pulled you out of your fixation.

"This looks really good. But I do have other applicants. I'll get back to you by the end of the week to let you know if you've been given the job or not."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Your lunch had flown by, dreading going back into the studio. Yet, you walked in and completely ignored Jungkook, sitting back down at the register across from him.

Jungkook watched you walk right past him. His brows furrowed in confusion. He was unsure how to take your sudden silence. But he had decided to not take it too seriously. Jungkook was about to speak when you suddenly spoke up.

"I'm not feeling too great all of a sudden," you whispered, your face scrunching in discomfort.

"Oh, well, if you aren't feeling well, go home," Jungkook suggested.

"I think that may be best." With that, you gathered your belongings and stepped out the door, leaving Jungkook behind to look after the studio.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

It had been a week since you had gone home, and Jungkook was growing worried. You had messaged every morning, mentioning how you were feeling worse with each passing day. By the end of the week, Jungkook had decided he was going to check up on you.

He sat at the register, watching as the clock slowly ticked by. He began to grow impatient at how slow the days had been since you weren't in.

It was as if you not being here was making the days drag on for longer. They were boring. With no one to tease or wind up it was truly lonely in the studio.

"Fuck it," he muttered, grabbing a piece of paper and scribbling on it. He stuck it to the window and locked up shop early. He walked to his motorcycle, getting ready to head to you.

"I should get her some snacks and medicine."

Jungkook put his jacket and helmet on, speeding off down the busy street to get to the pharmacy before it closed. Luck, however, just didn't seem to be on his side. Every traffic light turned red as he approached the crossings. He grew more frustrated as he drove to his destination, having arrived just a few minutes too late to the pharmacy.

He cursed, thumping his fist down onto his thigh. He spun around, heading back in the direction he came, deciding to just head to the corner shop across from your house.

All he could think about was how unwell you seemed. It was strange of you to be off sick for so long. Even when you were sick with the flu, you'd force yourself to come in until Jungkook had to physically push you out the door to go home.

Now here he was, standing in front of your apartment door, snacks in hand. He was nervous, and he didn't know why. Still, he knocked. He waited for a moment until you opened the door. Jungkook frowned at you. You didn't look sick at all.

"J-Jungkook," you stammered, shocked at his sudden appearance. "Why are you here?"

"You're not sick!" he exclaimed, forcing himself into your apartment.

You closed your eyes, knowing you were caught. Shutting the door behind you, you slowly spun around to look at him. And Jungkook was furious.

"Yes, I'm not sick."

"I've had to look after the studio the whole week, without you! And you've been fine. I should fire you for this."

"Then do it!" you challenged, catching him off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"Go on, Jungkook. Fire me. Honestly, I don't think I care anymore," you continued, crossing your arms over your chest.

"What?" Jungkook asked, more confused than before. You laughed bitterly.

"Oh, come on, Jungkook. Ever since I started working with you, all you have done is make me feel like I am worthless. You sit there and belittle my work, stealing my clients."

Jungkook stammered, not knowing what to say. He stood silent, watching as tears welled in your eyes. You attempted to blink them back, but instead, they ran down your cheeks. It broke Jungkook's heart to see you so upset, especially because of him.

"I'm sorry, princess. I didn't realise-"

"Of course you didn't realise. Because if you're not busy treating me like a slave, you're trying to fuck every female client that walks through the door!"

You had begun to hyperventilate, anxiety taking over you. Jungkook watched as you slowly sank to the floor, eyes widening at your state. Jungkook dropped the snacks in his hands and immediately knelt in front of you. Gently, he took his hands in yours.

"Y/n, try to look at me okay?" he spoke softly. "Hey-hey. Look at me."

Chest heaving, and eyes bloodshot with tears, you attempted to look at him. He guided one of your hands to his chest, allowing you to feel his heartbeat, his breathing.

"I want you to focus on me and try to copy what I do, okay?" You only nodded.

You watched as Jungkook slowly inhaled and exhaled, his grip tightening slightly around your hand, reassuring that everything was okay. Your breathing slowly began to ease as Jungkook's grip tightened gently around your hand, and you slowly started coming back to your senses.

"Good. Good girl," Jungkook soothed, moving his other hand to stroke your hair.

Having your breathing under control again, you pushed yourself forward into Jungkook's arms, crying silently. Jungkook took this moment to hold you close, looking around the room, noticing the bottle of antidepressants sitting on your coffee table.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I know an apology isn't good enough for all the shit I've put you through. But truly, I am sorry," he whispered, gently planting a kiss atop your head.

You pulled back, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe away your tears. You didn't look at him, ashamed of your vulnerability. Jungkook sat patiently, waiting until you were ready to speak.

"I'm- sorry," you spoke in barely a whisper. Jungkook leaned back, surprised at your words.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, princess," he cooed. "If I were aware of how you were feeling. I wouldn't have continued. I guess my way of conveying my feelings didn't come across as intended."

You rubbed your eyes, looking at him, surprised. You hadn't expected an apology or a confession from him. You had expected him to be angry. Furious that you had been skipping work. Yet here he sat, his hands in yours, looking at you with gentle eyes.

"Yeah, you have a funny way of showing it," you spoke, choking out a laugh. Jungkook chuckled slightly.

"You take all the time you need, okay? I don't want you feeling like you have to come into work now because of this conversation."

You smiled.

"I know, I was going to come back in a few days anyway."

"I see," Jungkook muttered. "I know this may seem like a bold thing to ask. But can I stay the night? I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'll be fine-"

"I'm serious, Y/n," Jungkook cut you off. "I want to make sure you're drinking plenty of water and eating, even if it's a little bit."

You paused before finally nodding. He smiled, standing up, holding his hand out for you to take. You slid your hand into his, allowing him to pull you up into his arms. He was quick to let you go, though, not wanting to smother you. Jungkook watched as you walked off into he bathroom.

Only then had he noticed you wearing a pair of short baggy shorts and a cropped tank top. He bit his lip, trying his hardest not to lose himself at a time like this. Instead, he followed behind you, watching you closely as you brushed your teeth. You spat out the toothpaste and looked at him in the mirror's reflection.

"You know you don't need to monitor me. I'm not going to run away," you teased.

Jungkook hummed, simply leaning against the door frame, watching you with arms crossed. Rolling your eyes, you went back to brushing your teeth. You glanced at him in the mirror a few times, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Y/n," Jungkook spoke suddenly.

You had just put your toothbrush in its holder when you turned to look at him. He was closer than before, but still respected your space. He silently asked to hold your hand, which you agreed to with a nod.

"I love you," he whispered. "Since the day you walked into my studio. I knew I wanted you to work, not for me, but with me. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and you are all that's on my mind to this day. You drive me crazy. So much so I can hardly contain myself when you come into work wearing your cargo's and a t-shirt. It's so simple, but you pull it off like it's nothing. You are simply... perfect."

You didn't say anything. Instead, you pulled him in by the collar of his t-shirt and crashed your lips against his. He was shocked for a moment, then regained himself, allowing his lips to mould with yours. Passion burned inside both of you, as hands began to wander to places one would expect. You only stopped when you felt his hand begin to slide underneath your top.

"Sorry. I got caught up in the moment," Jungkook responded quickly. He stepped back, removing his hands from your waist. A sensation which you missed.

"Next time, we'll go there," you teased moving towards him and running your hand along his chest. He shivered at your touch, something you were enjoying very much. You gave him another quick kiss, leading him into your bedroom.

"I love you, too. Now, let's get some sleep."

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

hello there! thanks for taking the time to read this one! i wanted to write this, in hopes it brings some awareness to the seriousness of mental health. i, myself, am currently suffering with anxiety and depression, and have found that, as of recently, writing had been a way to help put me as ease. i hope with me writing this I have not offended as it was not my intention, but to show that people experience anxiety and depression in many different ways, and no one should be judged on it.

tranquilreign~

[shouyuus]

I’m having a real kick out of cowboy Vi rn and was wondering if mayhaps, if you’re feeling like it, write some headcannons or maybe a lil blorb about it?

I just keep imagining being out in the field, staring up at the stars and shuuuucks the kisses might have gone too far. Save a horse, ride a cowgirl 🤠

i feel like i must prequel this by saying that i know nothing about cow-anything and that i've exclusively grown up in metropolis-type cities. but that being said. i do have a certain appreciation for the aesthetic and all the cowgirl!vi fanart i've seen's got me feelin' sum typa way, as they say.

you blow in like the summer wind, low over the horizon and kicking up all sorts of stardust, so of course, vi's been enamored ever since. you're a city-girl, anyone with half an eye could see that. but vi's never been the type to mind. and when asked, you weren't shy to admit that you're just here for the summer, just here for a little fun in the sun --

so that makes it easy, doesn't it? cause summer's made for stuff like this -- all that heat and dreamin'. all sweet tea and none of the leavin'.

"you can't see stars like this in the city," you tell her one night, laid up in the back of her bright red pickup, the desert stretching out on all four sides for miles and miles and miles around.

"yeah? bet you can't. but... i figure there's probably other stuff to look at in those big cities of yours," vi says, turning her head.

"sure... lots of big tall buildings, and metric fucktons of pigeons," you say, giggling. vi laughs, shifting so that she's facing you. all around you, the wild chirrup of cicadas rock the sand-strewn night this way and that. a second later, you turn to face her too, smiling in the syrup-ridden dark.

"metric fucktons, huh? that the official measure for tall buildings?" she asks, chuckling.

"sure is," you reply inching just a bit closer.

it's been weeks, and vi's spent too many sunlit afternoons wondering about the taste of your lips to question it when you lean in to brush your mouth against hers. you taste like seasalt and lipgloss, and vi's sure her own lips are way too chapped, but when you press in just a bit closer, she finds that she doesn't really give damn.

"been wanting to do that for a while..." you admit, pulling back. and like this, vi figures she can count all the summertime constellations caught beneath your lashes like jars of wayward lightning bugs.

"me too..." vi breathes, tugging you in for another kiss, and then another. when you break apart, she licks her lips and grins at the way you chase after her, toppling into her chest as she leans back, and the whole truck rocks with the weight. you let out a startled laugh, and she, another soft chuckle.

the wind tangles lazy fingers through the branches of the old juniper tree behind vander's farm and in the distance, the fwoosh of a diving nighthawk rends the air. a cluster of sparrows startles out of a nearby bush, their wings flapping against the star-scattered night, and vi finds herself lost in the bewitching sparkle of your eyes as you look at her, and look at her. she doesn't think she's ever been looked at like this before.

heat roils in her stomach as she clears her throat. faintly, she wonders if all city-folk are so shameless.

"so..." you say, your lips twisting up as a fox-fire glint catches behind your eyes, "what else have you been thinking of, hm?"

vi clears her throat, "oh... bit o'this, bit o'that..." she casts her gaze up and prays for strength. she catches a whiff, just then, of your perfume, something soft and sweet, but not like flowers -- no, something warmer, a strange, heady concoction that sends her head spinning.

some big-city magic, she thinks, beating down the urge to roll her eyes at the thought.

"oh yeah? would it be easier just to show me?" you ask, batting your lashes, rolling your hips down slightly against hers, "what's that saying now? save a horse...?" you let your voice trail off with a salacious grin.

and this time, vi really does swear --

"sweet jesus on a bicycle --" she laughs, shaking her head, "you're gonna be the death of me, aren't you?"

you shrug, leaning forward to brace your arms over her shoulders, the shape of you cast against the gathering night like some sort of desert mirage. vi licks her lips, feeling her mouth blister dry as you run your fingers through her hair, her hat long since abandoned too the wayside.

"didn't know jesus rode bikes... always thought he was more of a donkey-guy, myself."

at this, vi snorts, giving your hip a hard pat, "right, c'mon then."

you pout, listing your head, "what? no more stargazing?"

vi cocks an eyebrow, grabbing her hat as she swings out of the bed of the truck, reaching up to offer you a hand.

"well, as much as i love the thought of eating you out seven ways to sunday in the back of my truck... i think your delicate city-girl disposition might like a mattress just a bit better, hm?"

you blink, your mouth falling open into a perfect little 'o' of shock, before color floods your cheeks and you nearly topple out of the truck. luckily, vi's there to catch you, chuckling as she sets you on your feet.

"what happened to all that bravado, hm?

your crinkle your nose, defiance flickering behind your gaze as vi leads you back towards the house.

"that's not fair -- you caught me off guard is all," you say, tucking yourself into vi's side as she helps you side-step a dogwood plant.

"sure i did, princess."

you huff, glancing up at her even as the pair of you finally reach the soft ring of light cast by the large farmhouse stood in front of the massive juniper tree. vi pauses just before you reach the front steps to let you hop up on the first one, turning to grin at her, your eyes now finally at a level.

she thinks the bright twinkle of mischief caught there looks terrifyingly like falling in love. or perhaps, just the falling bit.

you bite your lips and rock on the balls of your feet. vi waits, her breath caught like a wild horse hoofbeat inside her chest.

"so," you say, your voice the perfect mix sugar-cube and snake-bite, "if i ride you tonight, would that make me a cowgirl too?"

vague continuation found here