#idc if it sucks. i'm still having fun with it and that's what matters

[official-susie-deltarune]

being absolutely dogshit at wording and describing things while being a writer is truly a terrible combo

[omensandwonders]

filthy thoughts about the eepy boys

im in a whole other universe of down horrendous after FINALLY seeing the boys live (well, II and Ves (im crying)) so... this is my outlet. youre welcome and/ or im sorry

warnings: pure filth

vessel:

♤ a munch and a yapper, idc

♤ only time this man shuts up is when his head's buried between your legs and even that's loud, with the way he's groaning into your cunt

♤ eats like he will never see another woman again after this, hands grabbing everywhere he can reach - thighs, ass, stomach, waist.

♤ often uses both tongue and fingers, either fucking his fingers into you while sucking your clit or rubbing tight circles on your clit with his thumb while he's tongue fucking you

♤ mans is hung (we all know it) so he will absolutely make you cum at least three times with his fingers and tongue before giving you his dick

♤ when he does, he's so vocal, groans and whines leaving his throat completely unrestrained

♤ forgets how strong he is, often leaving your thighs, hips and waist bruised

♤ STAMINA.

♤ youre not done until hes done

♤ filthy mouth on that one i tell you

♤ now i also see vessel being more dominant and calculating, but... more on that later if yall want that (👀?)

♤ all im sayin... i think hes the most dominant of all of them... his hand + your throat =mmdjxjisjs (also *cough* spit kink *cough*)

"o-oh my god, darlin', squeezin' me so good- j-just like that, such a good girl for me, takin' it so well-"

"so tight, feels soo good my love, j-just one more for me-"

II:

♤ suddenly my ass is a drum

♤ would it be too on the nose to say he's an ass man who loveeees spanking? actually this is my post so IDC IM SAYIN IT

♤ ass man who loves spanking

♤ impact play in general i dare say

♤ mean slaps whenever you least expect them, wherever you least expect them - face, pussy, ass - he loves your reaction

♤ but can you blame him? you look so pretty looking up at him with those hazy, tear-filled eyes

♤ now vessel gets mean and rough just cause he's desperate. II gets mean and rough because he wants to wreck you. very different motivations there (though im a firm believer that ves has his mean streaks too)

♤ you've been misbehaving? have fun riding him with your hands tied and his hand around your throat. doesnt matter how bad your thighs hurt, he's not helping. also, youre not cumming

♤ loves fucking you face down ass up, with a hand on the back of your head or back of your neck to keep you pinned down

♤ edging ‼️ overstim ‼️ pain ‼️ degradation ‼️ thank you for coming to my ted talk

"you've been nothing but a slut all fuckin' day, throwin' yourself at Ive like that, and you think i'll let you cum? nah, fuck that. you got about another half an hour in you before that, if at all"

"such a pretty lil' bitch for me, crying on my dick like that. you like it when i hurt you? like it when i slap this fuckin pussy?"

"so dramatic, that was only your fourth orgasm. you got at least three more in you"

III:

♤ say it with me now, MESSY

♤ i think III is similar to ves' desperate side, but... more

♤ more desperate, more subby, more whiny, more drooly

♤ will beg. god knows for what but sure it's hot so why the hell would you stop him

♤ sometimes he gets so lost in it his thrusts get uncoordinated

♤ so sloppy, rutting into you like a dog in heat

♤ i could imagine a threesome between you, III and ves... where ves is the one in charge

♤ sitting on a chair next to the bed, running his mouth while III basically sobs while pumping into you

♤ god, he cums so much

♤ absolute loads

♤ idk if this is a hot take or not but possibly the subbiest of the boys?? though i still dont see him as a FULL on sub, maybe a switch? idek i feel like he could go either way

"oooh my fuckin' god doll, so good to me, so fuckin' good- feels so good- 'm gonna cum, cum inside that sweet pussy-"

"love you so much just- just lemme please- just the tip baby-"

"if you don't suck my dick right now i'm gonna lose my mind-"

IV:

♤ also one i see as being dominant

♤ such. a fucking. tease. lord help us all.

♤ learns how to play your body like a fuckin instrument within days, gets you sobbing and pleading within minutes

♤ after what feels like hours of teasing you - toying with and biting your nipples, leaving hickeys all over, touching everywhere but where you need him most - he finally gives in and fingers you and you swear to god you see stars

♤ we all know this man can use his fingers, the way he plays guitar. to him, your body is the most beautiful instrument and he'll be fuckin damned if he can't master it

♤ when he fucks you, he's so rough, all filthy words in your ear as his thick dick drags against your walls

♤ sigh, a biter

♤ leaves bite marks all over you

♤ not satisfied until youre sobbing and trembling beneath him, globs of his cum leaking out of your abused cunt (wrap it before you tap it)

♤ god help you when he discovers remote controlled vibrators

"so drunk on my dick, aren't ya love? that's okay. i'm takin' care or you, don't need to think anymore, just keep those legs nice and open for me"

"can't remember your own name, can ya, love? that's okay, only gotta know mine"

"good fuckin' girl, always so wet and ready for me..."

did i mention that i think they all share a HEAVY breeding kink? no? oops

[wheylost]

the ultimate internet stupidity rant of ultimate destiny

nothing --- or anything similar --- has happened to me recently, but i can't keep looking at this damn constant trainwreck and not say something

this DNI, "[anti]-proship", 'bully someone's artstyle', and other crude stuff ain't cool. and it never was (why are we still [unironically] doing these??)

imagine minding your business then be swatted by chronically online kids who take fictional stuff WAY too seriously --- or anything really

“oh you ship real people or these questionable characters?”

“you are a parasocial pro-[terrible thing here] now go kick a bucket”

if you consider other people, telling people to go off themselves is fucking insane. who knows? someone might've done so --- over something as little as shipping vinnoel

why this ship specifically? cause this is coming from a personal experience (hi Instagram people if you [cared to] recognize me /neg). funny thing is one of the fucker had an ao3 account, bio saying something like "stop/don't send me death threats pls". like?????

it sucks dealing with that kind of stuff the first time, even nerve-wrecking when some go to your OTHER platforms just to spout the same shit like a parrot. it's like you're on the hunt after a damn jailbreak lol

one piece i made for fun got me in a slump for 2-3 months. real days. jesus christ, and i thought i dealt with worse.

"lol snowflake, don't take it so seriously"

don't take petty fictional shit seriously, then.

lemme turn on my megaphone: FICTION DOESN'T AFFECT REALITY, UNLESS ACTED UPON

using vinnoel as an example again: shipping two gaming doofuses together via art, writing, etc. DOESN'T MEAN YOU WANT THEM TO ACTUALLY BECOME A COUPLE

i tried to explain that to the hard-headed bastards that kept saying "lol idc kil urself". using my old hazbin hotel pfp as some sort of evidence of being a RPFer is goofy, but go off ig.

i'm not good at explaining stuff in general, but even trying to get the basics across is no affect. the DT patrol will *keep* going until you either dip (and make a whole new fucking persona) or do something worse.

you can have the balls to continue, but it's ridiculous dealing with it, even when you don't give them attention. there's more important things in real life than [insert "questionable" ship here].

nah, just go ahead and make damn accounts, forums and other tedious shit over these people who are minding their business. can't you do the same? or does fucking with strangers give you a hard-on?

now, the """"porshipper""" side has its moments, too; shipping underage, creating darkfics, and making other VERY intense stuff is pretty spooky

not my cup of tea, but hell, go ahead. "i can't break your keyboard in half. i can go to other fics/art and ignore yours. no offense, tho." you do you.

morbid curiosity peeking through these works most times have some guest or burner account saying the foulest of things. how bold and totally not a pussy move. don't know if a person's personal life or other private matters need explaining to strangers --- and the latter still not giving a fuck. aren't there block features on most websites?

illegal stuff isn't cool, but is the creator doing what they write/draw in real life? nah, i don't think so. and if they do, shit, find authorities more than a gang of death theaters

i don't care for "proship" content, but i also can't STAND fuckers who treat others like shit by any means: digging up their past, hawk-watching and other petty stuff that feels like it should be in a damn high-school drama. mind your business for the "antis" and don't commit any dark content you make, "proshippers"

i could give less of a crap and not make this post at all, but seeing all these hateful comments against each other while we try to move forward FROM this negative is confusing, and traumatizing to anyone --- possibly those outside the goofy internet fights, too.

i came on the internet to draw, share my art and like others who do the same. i shouldn't drop whatever i like just for you to feel superior [for once]. you do your thing, i do mine. unless it involves you, piss off. and this also applies to real stuff outside this damn internet. let people distract themselves with art and not doom scroll people arguing because someone said "first" in a YouTube comment section, or do literally ANYTHING that's deemed "weird/cringe" by god who knows.

it's cool for you to ignore this post, block me --- do whatever, im gonna watch cat videos after this. nobody is doing anything "right" or wrong"; everything is subjective, take an ethics class.

is sending death threats, pulling IPS and doing other harmful things that may ACTUALLY hurt somebody behind the screen ethical? is doing acts you write in your abusive, unsettling stories good to others around you? you tell me.

drag me all you want, but my point stands. fuck all this "anti" and "pro" shit....and everything really. live and let live. talk to me if you have news of something serious. thank you!

[kuschelkissen]

I think the main thing with drawing smut for me is that... I just lack so much of what is needed for that lol

You need to be at least somewhat secure with drawing anatomy. And I'm not. Not at all. Even with pose references it's kinda hard for me to pull off. Especially if you have somewhat dynamic poses with shortened limbs due to perspective. I always feel like it looks weird.

And finding pose references for smut is a whole different can of worms LMAO.

Like for one, finding them already is difficult, and then I always run into the same problem: in drawn references, the proportions are almost always ... off. They're usually exaggerated, long limbs, broad shoulders, tiny waist, you know your "typical" anime style. And while I don't think my style is anywhere CLOSE to realistic, I still think my proportions are usually... well, at least CLOSER to realism than your typical anime. I don't (or try not to) draw the legs as 2/3 of the body. I don't mind when other people do it, don't get me wrong, but I just am not personally able to do it in a way that I think looks good. So I already have to adjust for that and we loop back to problem number one, my not-really-that-great knowledge of anatomy...

The other thing I notice in a lot of drawn references: the characters have very different proportions to each other. Usually you have a broad, muscular top and a slender, more fragile bottom. Idc if this is because people have a certain preference in their BL or because they provide a pose that is for your "typical" male/female look, but it is not helpful for me, because I AGAIN have to adjust this, because I often have ships with very similar body-build (even though I often see people change that to fit their need, but well, that's a different topic lol).

Recent example:

Pose by mold_19, sadly not on twitter anymore and I have no idea where they moved to SOB

"Do it badly!" I'm TRYING. Okay? I really am. But it's no fun if I struggle so much! I love drawing, and I don't often care for the mistakes I make, I've mostly left my perfectionism behind when I started drawing again 3 years ago, but if I struggle so much with even getting the base sketch down because everything just looks BAD and WRONG, it sucks all the fun out of me.

And then there is the other thing...

I struggle with drawing expressive characters, idk why it is so difficult for me, but well, here I am. I tried getting better with that Emoji-Drawing-Challenge, but even that is difficult to me because I have problems adjusting the very over-the-top expressions into my own style.

And oh boy, do I struggle with smut-expressions ^^' it is SO HARD for me to get the expressions somewhat right...? I drew some smut a bit ago and when I shared it, the first question was "is he enjoying himself?" because, well, he's supposed to, but I agree his face didn't really convey that.

Needless to say, that sketch is still a sketch because I cannot for the life of me get that stupid face of him to look RIGHT. I don't want him to look like he's about to cry, I don't want him to look like he's in pain, I want him to look like he's having a lot of fun actually. 🙃

"Do it badly", yeah, but I don't want to draw stuff that will be misinterpreted in such a way. ^^'

And then... though, admittedly, this is the least of my problems, just a matter of fact:

Drawing smut is kinda... fruitless. I mean. You have to find a platform where you're even allowed to upload it to begin with. And while it used to be "sex sells", I don't think this is the case anymore lol

I mean, there are people that still pull great numbers with nsfw art, but I'm certainly not one of them. Not that I pull great numbers with my regular art either, which might already be the core of the problem, but my smut just gets maybe a handful of likes and that's that. And yeah yeah, numbers don't count, and all that, hence why none of you will ever get to see the smut sketches I do and discard, but if I share stuff, I want it to be seen, and since people obviously don't like my smut, why even share it in the first place?

I don't even know where I'm going with this rant at this point. Just needed to vent in the hopes my brain would finally let it go, realise I'm not made for drawing smut, and stop making me try lol

let me draw fluff instead, I think I'm kinda okay with that.

[justmeinatree]

okay realistically i could just say one direction as a band, and then Harry, Louis, and Niall as solo artists for four of the five because i really do still love the music they made as a band and obviously i adore our boys as solo artists. but for the sake of actually giving an interesting answer, i'm not gonna name any members of one direction 😂 naming my top 5 is sooo hard because it's like being forced to pick my favorite children and my favorites change all the time but at the moment i'd say Three Days Grace (in particular the older stuff when Adam Gontier was still the lead singer, they've been a favorite of mine since my early teenage years), Bastille (Bad Blood is still such an elite album after a decade idc what anyone says), September Stories (they do a lot of spoken word stuff so it's a bit of an acquired taste but Every Word, Everything and Home have been in my top 100 songs on Spotify every year since I made my account), The Smiths (Morissey sucks as a person lol but his ability to turn his misery into absolutely gorgeous lyrics goes unmatched and Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want and There Is a Light That Never Goes Out both have such an otherworldly vibe to them), and Beth Crowley (she does a lot of songs inspired by books that I've never read but I really love the way her lyrics always tell a story and I wish she was more popular!!)

i know you didn't ask for all these details but i can't talk about my favorite artists without adding at least a few comments 😂 i could seriously talk about music all day so i'm loving that you asked this!! 🫶

but now i obviously have to ask you the same question...top 5 artists/bands? 👀

-🤘

okay so i’m loving the variety here ! a lot a lot !! i’m also now curious how one direction / solo 1d would rank ? just out of pure curiosity because i obviously can’t decipher based on your list here 😅

now asking for my top 5 is 😩 lol top 6 is even easier than top 5 for some reason 🤷‍♀️ so is top 3 lmao for some reason 5 is just messing with me but here we go ! and i’ll preface this with 2 points. firstly, i’m not putting one direction or any of their solo careers, but mostly because they honestly probably don’t rank in my top 5 (and cue the absolute massacre i’m gonna receive in my inbox, especially considering i’ve been blogging about 3 of them for the last 10+ years. but listen, top 5 of every artist EVER, cmon 😅) and secondly, you will very much be able to pin down my fav kind of music. i really do like a lot of artists from a lot of different genres, but i do have a fav and it will be blatantly fkn obvious. alright, here goes 😂

first, and always motha fkn first no matter what, green day. they are my everything, their music from 80s through to now has shaped me into who i am today, more than anything else. jesus of suburbia is the best song ever written, nothing will ever top it, like everyone else can stop trying, we have the best song ever, yall can go home 😂 then i’d say afi. fantastic band from the start, but their decemberunderground album is my favourite album of all time, so beautifully written. and fun fact, the only album that i have tattooed twice (or i should say once but getting the second next time i’m getting tatted) ! now we’re gonna flip things a tiny bit, and go with steve miller band, hands downs the BEST stoner music ever. they have the vinyls i reach for most, it’s just such a fkn vibe, i adore it !! (also sliding in an honourable mention for oasis, because that’s another vinyl i’m always reaching for when stoned 😅). fourth, i would say good charlotte, simply because they are fkn fantastic, and their young and the hopeless album is the one album i turn to constantly when life is hard and it just resets me, idk what it is 😂. and then in fifth, i’m going with our lady peace, i feel like they’re super underrated but they have some fkn bangers, they deserve more love ! and then i’m throwing in an honourable mention to counting crows because that 90s vibe is unmatched, and it brings me so much nostalgia for easier times.

sorry for the bible 😅 i hope you enjoy my rant about my 5 (or 7 😬) top fav bands that quite clearly capture the essence that is my punk rock heart 🫶

[honking-up-a-storm]

6/23/23

Using this page to start off the day cuz idc that there's some doodles already on it. I think it's gonna be another slow day, 4 handicap spots are open, more open past the entrance, and the main lot is very empty. It could fill up who knows, but my hopes aren't very high. Funny how active online I was in 16'-17', maybe it's because that's when a lot of current websites came out that have a clear record. Ungh, I want to do something where is everyone? I guess I can get some reading done today. As long as my feet hold up I guess. I knew there would be slow days, but slow and standing in one spot is killing me. Oh! I bought the book so I can properly do this, it should be coming in 5-14 days, though the seller is in state so it should be quick enough. One car, not gonna touch it since it has the handicap adapter on it, I could drive it but I don't wanna adjust the settings. I think this writing is good for a least cracking a dent in this book. Had a very deep dream where things were okay again, makes no sense. If it's a premonition, I don't want it. Could try reaching out to her though. I feel bad and I miss her. Taking the easy way out isn't cute. There's totally shit going through my head right now that's too fast to write FFS. It's cuz I'm thinking about IT, which is annoying. I've exhausted all thoughts on the subject, made my conclusions, pretty much moved on less than a week later due to good timing on the new circles. I guess I'm frustrated with my exit. I had more time than I thought. I guess it's only natural to have wanted things to go your way. It just sucks cuz I wasn't attached to those thoughts and words anymore and the grief I have for them is still very potent no matter how much I try to hide and deny It. I find it odd too that I didn't feel sad after, I thought over the scenario so many times that I was sure I'd just fall apart, but I didn't and don't feel sorry for myself cuz I was a full-on bitch who deserved it. The frustration and grief are what linger. And I think grief is the appropriate word bc jesus christ I loved them, I loved all of them and I don't know why I was that fucking monstrous (Well therapy helped find the route of that but still, tldr: Family source, took that kinda shit talking as a normal way to vent and be done with it bc worse shit has gone around the house and yet everyone claims to love each other, should have never done it to my friends). And I'm frustrated because jesus christ even though I don't remember much of the exit I know I was just spewing bullshit and was pissed beyond hell that it was happening while I was not in a good spot mentally and physically. They probably think I threw myself into therapy because of the situation, but nah it's because for the first time in my life I let myself stand a little too close to the edge of the train platform and envisioned some things. But shit the only thing that stopped me was my own fear of death and that girl who got her leg torn off by the green line a few days prior. Anywho I'm glad I'm better, obviously not cured or perfect but much much better. My paranoia is gone, I'm less irritable, and life is just enjoyable again. It's kinda funny how I'm working a job where I was only in it for the money (financial issues strike again when the V work is said) but like I'm having like actual fun working, it's literally the perfect job for someone with ADHD, every day is different and I get to move a lot, interact with a lotta people. Also like I work with cars all day, I love driving. I'm in my pink era, I'm starting to love life again.

Notes:

A - Truman show/ Fleabagging, mirroring, mimicking, repeating, fixations, extremely picky with food, shutdown rather than lash out

M - Overstimulation, IFYKYK, sensory issues

N - Can drive, good balance

it feels like summer again

I am made up of so many things

Gift of the day from funny old dude regular: 3 Musketeers bar

"FTM" license plate is real

[isagisyoichi]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL!

SYNOPSIS: niko as your boyfriend

CHARACTERS INCLUDED: niko ikki aka my boyfriend hello

WARNINGS: swearing, pretend all the boys go to the same school and they're all friends for plot, normalize not writing serious boys as someone that practically hates their s/o and never opens up to them god bless, also no such thing as ooc since we dunno shit ab him so everything i say is law. SUPER LONG LOL, it's like 2k+ words 😭

A/N: i love my boyfriend and i'm v happy about all the attention he's getting (even if he will prob will b subbed out 👎) this was fun to write bc i think he would b very soft as bf and also i hate the notion that stoic and serious = boring and detached in a relationship. also first post w the new user yayyyy rip yoichisagis an end of an era for realsies.

FOR: fox anon my beloved this one is for u😩

it takes a while for you two to get together, just because niko wants to think things through and be sure he’s making the right decision, as well as him being naturally apprehensive about this whole dating thing.

when you do eventually start going out, keep in mind you're probably his first real anything, so-

niko needs to take it slow for the first month or so because he needs time to adjust and get used to being in a relationship.

when he gets comfortable around you, niko starts to talk a lot more.

niko starts to talk about his interests more-soccer, stem stuff (idc i'll die by my hc that he's a stem boy), etc. and niko's really happy that you're genuinely interested in what he has to say :)

and as your relationship progresses, niko becomes more inclined to share his inner thoughts.

“this song is so bad, i hate it and how it's everywhere,” like, babe that sucks, but what do you want me to do, take it off the radio myself? 😭

you find out that niko’s kind of a hater LOL, but it’s okay, because it means he can be himself around you <3 and the mini debates you have with each other are fun.

he’s someone you can take shopping with you if you need a solid second opinion.

“ikki, is this cute?” you niko as you adjust the shirt you tried on in the fitting room mirror.

“no.” he’s so straight up LOL. “the blue one from earlier was better.”

“this one?”

“yeah, that one. you look really pretty in it.”

ngl though, niko’s not much of a mall person. he'd just follow you around like a little puppy LOL, but he doesn't mind too much because it's for you.

communication is important to niko!!!!! he wants someone that he can have real conversation about the things that matter to him, so he rly makes an effort to have that kind of connection with you.

niko's naturally funny but he isn't aware that he is lol.

but when he does try, i feel like his humor comes in the form of sarcasm and dry wit. likes poking fun at you here and there with a lighthearted jab.

"you're so weird, y/n," is the most common one.

niko’s naturally closed off emotionally (male aquarius 😒) but i, personally, think he’d really try and push himself to be more open with you, especially if you expressed for him to do so </3

he'd be really appreciative of someone patient and understanding of the fact that he doesn't open up easily, though.

but eventually, you become the person closest to him- niko confides in you a lot, which he’s grateful for because he usually holds everything in.

not one for pda or other lovey-dovey things in public, other than the occasional holding of hands but behind closed doors, niko’s so soft around you, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

also, i feel like niko’s real handsy with you, i get the vibe he’s super touch starved 😭

although it does take him a while to get used to physical affection, once he has, niko cannot get enough. he’s always touching you when he has no real reason to.

(and because you're his first relationship, i feel like it’s just natural that niko’s going to be kind of clingy towards you.)

“you okay, ikki?” you ask as niko suddenly wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“mhm,” he mumbles. “just wanna be close to you.”

niko likes when you sit on his lap when he’s on his computer. you can have your arms wrapped around his neck, your head resting in the crook of his neck, or you could just be on your phone or whatever, it doesn’t matter, niko just likes you near him.

you guys don’t really talk to each other when you do this, aside from niko occasionally checking up on you and asking if you need anything from him.

but other than that, you guys just enjoy each other's touch in silence. it’s one of his favorite things to do with you.

however, if you start kissing him in the middle of whatever he’s doing and keep it up for long enough, niko will drop everything to make out with you right then and there (also one of his favorite things to do with you).

speaking of kissing- you kiss niko first.

niko would try to plan your guys first kiss out because he wants everything to be perfect.

but, he ends up taking forever to execute it because he keeps overthinking and you can only wait so long before kissing him, so you take matters into your own hands.

his kisses are sloppy and juvenile at the beginning, but he’s smart and learns quickly what you do and don’t like.

likes being kissed on his jaw and forehead the most :')

if the team ever happens to see niko kissing you, they're gonna be so annoying 😭

"yooo niko's making big moves ‼️" "my son's growing up on me!😩" "good job *pats on the back*" and niko is red all over as he drags you away from them, muttering about how childish and annoying they are 😭.

but, they're all very supportive of you guys, even if they're embarrassing as hell 🙄.

they even give niko relationship advice- which luckily, he doesn’t follow (most of the time), because, let’s be honest, if you're getting unsolicited dating tips from a bunch of teenage boys, it’s probably bad 😭.

you’re the only person niko shows his forehead to. just know that having the opportunity to see it means that niko trusts you more than anyone else :’)

repay his trust by kissing his forehead lovingly and showering him with compliments whenever you can !!!!!!!!!!

“y/n, why’re you so embarrassing,” niko says under his breath, blushing as you hold his face and litter soft kisses on his forehead, rambling about how cute he is.

always looks for you in the bleachers when he has a game and you’re always the first person he talks to after.

and the fact that you make an effort to come as often as you can means sooo much to him. definitely considers you to be his biggest fan.

real classy with nicknames- uses “my love/love,” and “darling,” the most.

his favorite petname from you is "pretty boy." gives him butterflies each time he hears it.

the first time you call him that, he's confused, but after you explain that being called pretty is basically the highest compliment a boy can receive, he gets all soft on you.

only uses instagram to like and comment on your pictures and that's it 😭.

comments stuff like “you're so pretty” and "beautiful," without any emojis because niko refuses to use them LOL.

remembers the compliments you give him! they help with his self esteem and i feel like he values your opinion a lot.

so, tell him all about how cute and smart and talented and hot and funny he is and how much you love him and he'll replay it in his head 24/7.

i think he prefers to be the big spoon, unless he's sad- then he really wants you to hold him.

niko gives me homebody vibes, so expect relaxed dates, but still nice, yk?

what i mean is niko's not gonna take you out to get gas station food and call it a day 😭 he's classier than that and he always puts in effort towards dates.

he always plans them ahead of time and takes into consideration what he thinks you'd enjoy. and he insists on paying 🤗.

but, niko always does something special for days like your birthday or an anniversary, like go somewhere fancy if you wanted to or buy a nice gift you've been eyeing for a while.

helps you with your schoolwork, 100%. most of the time niko tutors you because he wants you to actually learn the material, but if you're feeling lazy and just wanna get it over with, niko will just give you the answers.

this is a big deal because i love him and all but, niko gives me the vibe he's super stingy with his work 😭.

"this is the last time i'm going to just give you the answers, y/n." niko sighs out. "you have to start doing your homework by yourself."

niko's said that dozen of times but he's still giving you the answers free of charge. can you guys say #whipped 🤣?

LOL speaking of school, if you ever text him during class, i highly doubt that niko would entertain you 😭😭 (it's out of love, though)

y/n 💗: hiii baby imy 🥰

pretty boy: do your work, y/n.

y/n 💗: ALL I DID WAS SAY HI

pretty boy: pay attention.

y/n 💗: fine ur so lame 👎

pretty boy: whatever you say. i miss you too, by the way.

he likes to moves your hair out your face because he wants to see your pretty face better.

which is why you have to do the same with him 🥰!!!!!! makes him blush like crazy.

gets soooo soft when you post him or even take pictures of you and him together :') just the thought of you wanting to show him off makes him soooo happy.

he won't entertain you if you make a tiktok, though LOL. he's very stubborn in his belief that it's stupid.

just stands in the background with his arms crossed if you try to make him do a dance or something 😭 (he does think you look cute, though).

niko has such nice eyelashes but i doubt he's aware of it 'cause he's, y'know, a boy 🙄.

"my eyelashes are ... cute?" he questions. niko wasn't even aware that such a trivial thing like his eyelashes could be considered cute.

"yes, oh my god," you gush. "they're so long and nice, i wish mine were like that," you groan, examining yours through the camera of your phone.

"you're so weird, y/n," he says, a blush staining his cheeks. "your eyelashes are nicer," he mumbles as he kisses your forehead.

he's one of those people that prefers to be alone, but you're the exception. you know?

niko likes to keep to himself most of the time, but that whole thing doesn't apply to you, because he'd choose to be with you over being alone anytime :')

[writingwife-83]

My Sherlolly Self Interview 2021

Hello there! First of all, thank you to @sherlollyappreciationweek for organizing this event! I’ll do a quick intro and then get down to business and answer some questions.

I’m a wife and mom in my late 30s and live in the New England area of the USA. I’ve always loved to write fiction as a hobby, but for most of my life it was original fiction. I’ve been a BBC Sherlock fan since 2014, and that was really what introduced me to the world of fandom and fanfic. I shipped sherlolly since the very first moment they were on screen together and once I discovered the world of fanfic for them, I think it was only a matter of days or weeks until I decided I wanted to try writing for them as well. The rest is history!

I’ll put the questions under the cut since this is going to get loooong lol!

Ok so first up, @mizjoely asked- Sherlolly was your first fandom that you started writing for. How does it compare to the Reylo fandom? What are the best/worst parts of writing for each?

An interesting question lol! This is something I’ve definitely thought a lot about since, like you said, sherlolly was my first fandom and it was all I knew until I stepped over into reylo as well. To compare, I think I’ll just jump into listing the best and worst about each, because that’ll sum it up.

I’ll start with Reylo. The best part is 1- the ship itself, because I absolutely flipping love them to pieces and Idc what anyone has to say about it lol. 2- my little “fandom of three,” as Lexie and darthsydious and I tend to call it. And 3- the fan works for that pair are so incredibly varied and it opens up a heck of a lot of options for creating. I think the less there is in canon, the more opportunities for exploration among the fandom, so that’s pretty fun. As for the worst, 1- The frequent low response to fics. I get that I started creating very late, it’s an enormous fandom where you can get lost in the shuffle, and there’s also a high demand for the kind of fics that I don’t write. But no matter the reasons…it just sucks. 2- there seems to be a bit more squabbling among the shippers about details of the characters and how they’re portrayed in canon. Seems a waste of time to me when we could just be having fun enjoying the same ship. And 3- again, the ship is just so BIG lol. I absolutely prefer the small fandom experience. That said, let’s talk about sherlolly…

The best things are 1- sherlolly of course, because they’re freaking amazing and I love them. 2- the relatively small size of the fandom, particularly when it’s down to the small bunch of us who are somehow still invested nearly 5 yrs later lol. And that allows us to be so incredibly organized too! *cough* sherlollilists *cough* 😉 3- the way I was so warmly welcomed and appreciated right from the start. It didn’t matter that I started writing when we were 3 series into a 4 series show. I got feedback and validation that I never could have imagined. And 4- the way we tend to rally around negativity or someone is being mistreated. I’ve seen this ship turn negativity around in the best sort of way imo, which is by canceling it out with positivity. As for the worst things? Those are harder to come up with so…I don’t think I’ll list anything. 🥰

Next up I have a bunch of questions from @miniherodesktales and I’ll answer them divided up by the two asks- I hope it's okay if I ask several questions. 1.) What's your favourite fic that you've written? 2.) Are you a fan of the canon or is it just Sherlock for you? - I've noticed that you seem to like period fics, so wondering if you blend elements from original canon with BBC Sherlock? Plus, I'm always hoping more Sherllolians will join me in enjoying some of the older Holmes adaptations as there is a lot of fun ones out there I think people would love.

As for my fave fic, I think it might be too tough to choose just one lol. I think my top 3 would have to be I Told You So, Zephyr, and maybe also my newer one For the Best. All for their own reasons, but I’m just generally happy with how those turned out and really enjoyed the writing process.

I’m definitely a big fan of the BBC canon, yes! In fact, for close to my first year in the sherlolly fandom, I wasn’t interested in AUs at all lol. But you’re right, now I do enjoy period AUs a lot. I think it’s just a fun way to enjoy new things for the ship. Sadly, I admit I have very limited exposure to the original ACD canon. I’m not against the original canon, it’s just that for me BBC Sherlock is my Sherlock. That’s basically how I was exposed to the character. I might explore more here and there, but for the most part I enjoy BBC Sherlock and I’m kinda happy to stick to that.

And- A second ask - sorry!  1) Do you feel a need to shape your interpretations of Molly and Sherlock so that they are unique to you and differ from the show and other Sherlolly writers? Same for your Star Wars fics. 2.) Is it something that just happens naturally and not something to worry about? 3.) How do your craft your stories and plots? 4.) How important is writing to you?

This is an excellent question, and for me the answer is no. Imo, good fanfic is about the characters feeling like the characters in canon, in whatever situation they’re in. So I have no desire to create a Molly or Sherlock that is nothing like the ones we see on screen. And the same would definitely apply to my Star Wars writing. My clause to this is that people interpret characters differently. So what feels in character to me might not feel so to someone else.

It has come more naturally over time I feel, but I am still definitely very conscious of my characterization. When I write I try my best to hear the dialogue in my head and decide whether it feels believable for those characters’ canon voices. So in a way, yes it’s something I worry about. Because I’d hate to have someone read my fic and feel like they’re pulled out of the moment due to a wording or tone that doesn’t feel right.

My honest answer to how I craft my stories is that when I either get or am given an idea, I pretty much immediately consult my fandom and real life besties @thisisartbylexie and “darthsydious” and I share with them what I’m thinking and/or ask for their input. It’s rare that I concoct a fic 100% on my own. It usually involves a lot of squealing and plotting with them lol.

Writing is moderately important to me. It’s certainly not in my top list of priorities, but I also consider it a healthy hobby and creative outlet, and I think we all need something like that. When I have free time, I do think it’s a nice thing to use my time for.

@englandsgray asked- Hey hey 👋 Is there a moment or line somewhere in the canon which you think is underrated? Have you already written about it, if so? Or is it something you’re yet to explore? Thanks! Enjoy the self interview ❤️

That’s a really interesting question and I had to give it some thought! I’m going to go with the line in ASiB where Molly says of John going to visit his sister- “Sherlock was complaining- saying.” It’s not like this has never been talked about, but perhaps not quite as much as some other line. I do find it interesting because this is canon evidence that Sherlock is with Molly behind the scenes and without John present. That could be at Bart’s, but it could also be elsewhere. It’s just another little tidbit that reminds us of something that I believe Louise Brealey said after s4, which was that there’s clearly so much “off screen” between those two that we don’t get to see. I guess I haven’t explored that line specifically, so who knows, maybe someday!

And finally, I got this ask from @dlrconlicense- Are there any characters that you don't like writing or feel the most difficulty with when including them in your works? (Could be from any fandom)

Boy, this is a tough one. Tbh I feel pretty comfortable with the main characters I write at this point. But I think some characters take a little more work to write than others. John Watson, for instance. Martin Freeman is such an awesome actor, but his facial expressions are a big part of that. There’s a lot of subtle things he conveys and it’s sometimes hard to translate that perfectly into words. That’s just one example of how it can take a little extra thought to write certain characters.

Thank you so much to the four who asked me questions and I hope it was enjoyable for you guys and others to read. And to anyone who has read this far and gotten through all my ramblings, you get a really big 🍪 lol!

[averys-happy-space]

club penguin rambles

there are a LOT of images bc the post is abt cp outfits. but also a ton of text bc i talk way too much. also I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG ACC. I POSTED IT ON MY THEME TESTING BLOG BY ACCIDENT SO I HAD TO REPOST THIS. its the 11pm brain fog getting to me

okay so club penguin released a new clothing catalogue for november and here's my hippie fall outfit i came up with. it's designed around the sweater bc i thought the sweater was super cute but there wasn't any other hand item except guitar that really matched with the outfit. and like yes i could have it without the guitar (which i did do to take the 2nd pic) but i wanna equip a hand item!!! which sounds really stupid bc it is stupid but i'm picky and idc. the sweater IS adorable tho like look at it, its got little puffles on it and shit!!!! fucking adorable!!! and the colour is so pretty and nice too :3c i would buy that sweater if it existed irl. also look at the cool ass ghost puffle!!! their name is goober LMAO i dont rmb why i named them that. i think i was thinking like goofy goober but i already have an orange puffle named goofy ah so i guess thats why i just named this ghost puffle goober? genuinely i have no fucking clue. but i'm gonna keep them around cuz they look dope as fuck and also they match my penguins purple skin colour which i think is neat.

other outfits

since i am making a post abt cp outfits i also decided to add my previous outfits (that i have screenshots of) to this post too just to archive them so i can come back in 10 yrs and be like wow 16 yr old me had horrible fashion taste. (i hope tumblr is still around in 10 yrs. i mean, its lasted 15 yrs, so like whats another 10 right?)

for context:

the first one is one of my earliest outfits which i made with help & advice from moose bc i suck at fashion (thank u moose). i think it looks cool, tho there wasnt like a theme or anything that i was going for. i just liked the hair + jacket and wanted to make an outfit with it lol

the pizza one is from the pizza party event. do not ask me why they had a pizza party event. i have no idea. anyway it was really stupid but fun and i suck at the pizzatron 3000 minigame. i wanted to use a mouse for it but my mom took my mouse when she took my gaming pc so i had to use mac trackpad to play and boy it was Not good. also i gave my puffle jellybean a sombrero which i know is mexican and pizzas are from italy but i didnt know what else to give him!!! plus he looks really stupid cuz the sombrero is massive which i think is cute. oh yea, also i met rookie during the pizza party and i wanted to equip his background but my penguin covers half of rookies body and it didnt look good so i ended up going for this bg instead. its kinda lame but whatever, i still got to meet rookie and thats all that matters <3 (btw, for context, theres lots of npc mascots in the game and every so often they "come online" (its just a bot walking around really) and if u join the same area as them, u get a stamp + bg gift. i met rookie & jetpack guy during the pizza party and got their stamps and gifts but i love rookie more lol, hence why i wanted to use his bg. its too sad it didnt fit nicely bc i think its a p cool bg but oh well)

the bottom two are just variations of each other. basically for the sept or oct catalogue (i forgot which), the cp team added a bunch of punk stuff and i bought all of it bc it actually looked dope as hell. the one on the left came first but i didnt rlly vibe w the hair which is why i ended up changing it. also, the wings are a neck item which is why the first outfit doesn't have the dog tags even tho i wanted them. couldn't have both ): anyway, the second one came about after i got to meet cadence during the music party and i LOVE cadence (i had a massive crush on her when i was younger. like literally shes so pretty?!!) so i got rid of the raven wings so u can see her face in the bg. i can't lie i do think the bg is a bit lame bc its completely empty on the right which makes it feel kinda unbalanced, also u can see i have the cadence signature pin equipped. u can't change the positioning of the pin which sucks bc i would've put it on the right if i could but oh well. and yea i added the dog tags since no more wings. i accidentally clicked jellybean before taking this pic so it sent him home LMAOOO and i couldnt be bothered to get him back at the time so thats why hes missing from the pic. overall i think this outfit is def my favourite, the vibes are just so good. i love punk. oh and also the vampire teeth are bc the catalogue was mainly a halloween theme and well, they looked cool lol

for the record, jellybean is my favourite puffle hence why hes in all these pics. idk why but i just love white puffles, theyre so adorable and smiley despite being shy. also white puffles are slightly smaller than all other puffles which makes them 10x cuter. but i'm gonna keep goober around for a while just cuz they look cool as fuck. but i'll prob switch over back to jellybean when its closer to xmas. anyway its now 1120pm (i spent like half an hour writing this) so im going to sleep. goodnight

[ddejavvu]

im back ~~

hello mei!!!! how are you? i hope vvvv well, you deserve only the best <33 :o! i have news!!! i officially graduated thursday night!!! i now /have/ to go to college! my high school does a thing called project grad where all the seniors get to play games/win prizes for free as a celebration of us graduating (i'm so sure buena pours like thousands of dollars into it) some of the prizes include an ipad, between 100-1000 dollars, microwaves, fridges, PRINTERS??? and like some other college essentials, its really cool! the reason i'm talking about it is because my friend from phoenix came down for it!!! its a lock in sorta thing and it ended at 4am yesterday and its some of the most fun i've had in a while! one of my friends had four (4) energy drinks and a total of like 2000mg of caffeine in like 2 hours 😃 (i don't normally use this type of emoji but i feel the energy is correct) i saw some of my friends for (most likely) the last time and its honestly so bitter-sweet... like one of my friends i'm obviously going to see over the summer but hes going to college in NEW YORK !! i'm not ready to not see him :( but at the same time i got to spend time with friends i missed and people i know i will miss :( anyways! on a much lighter note :D hot came out!!! i havent had the chance to listen to the full album but i have full faith its amazing! have you listened to it/what song is your favorite? i truly value your opinion <3 i hope you are doing so well mei! whats been going on :o?

love you <33

wonu nonnie :D <333

CONGRATULATIONS DARLING :D <333 i'm so so so so so proud of you, that's amazing!! also omg that sounds so fun??? pretty sure the prize at my school was not having to do a final physical fitness test 💀

lock-ins are so fun!! i've only been to one but i've wanted to do another for sO long oh my god!! just messing around with your friends </3 also is your friend still breathing?? i'm worried about him.

aw no that's the worst!!! i'm sorry sweetheart, knowing you probably won't get to see people again is so weird and depressing but I hope that you're able to maintain contact with everyone you want to!! friends moving away for college sucks ASS. my bsf moved and i had kinda put all my eggs in her basket so i had no one LMFAO - you will make new friends, don't worry about that, it's just hard to see the old ones move!! i hope you get to see him semi frequently, maybe you can take a trip up there one day :D it gets easier with time, but yeah it's sucky at first and i'm sorry you're dealing with that :( make the most out of this summer!!!

DUDE FTS IS SO GOOD SKGNDG okay so like i've been streaming the entire album for a while and so far i love love love all of the songs!! IF you leave me is sO good oh my god it's a ballad but it's not vocal unit, so we get dino mingyu vernon vocals etc etc all the people we don't normally get to hear sing!!! the loml i swear

my favorites so far have honestly been all of them but i'm especially clinging to hot, don quixote, 'bout you, and ash!!

i'm doing good!! I just turned in my last assignment for this year of college (my first) so i'm feeling pretty accomplished!! i don't even know if i passed any of my classes because i slacked sO HARD this semester but idc idc i finished and that's what matters 😤

in other news i started nannying again and tomorrow i'm submitting an application for a little bakery by my house!!!! i'm so excited, i just wanna work in a cute lil bakery and have a baby to babysit on the other days of the week <3333

i love you too darling, have an amazing day/night and i'm so proud of you for graduating!! <333

[cuddliestbear]

Ummmmmm....

Kay....sooooo, whiney entitlement? Okay, what about the people, who DON'T let themselves foolishly buy luxuries they can't afford?

I agree, some of the younger generation, and a lot of my own are not great with money. Not sure still if I'm a millenial or Gen Z cuz I'm 20 and websites differ on the matter. But, I digress.

Most of us, myself included get low bank account notifications because I just barely managed to afford my everyday bills.

Bc idc, I'mma give you MY math.

Job: Makes 12.50 an hour, avg about 40 hrs a week, then I have to have my taxes taken and my health insurance taken because I have a policy with my work.

Avg around 600 to 800 depending on if I am allowed to work the full eighty hours per payperiod. In the summer, we barely are able to work five hours a day because we don't get any work, if at all. So, that sucks, because central air costs go even higher in the summer, considering I live on florida. Electricity, water bill, mortgage, car insurance. (Managed to buy my car used for 1000, so I avoided a car payment.)

Okay, water is 100 a month, electricity is a little less or more depending on usage.

Add that to 700 dollar mortgage payment per month(only cheap because our house is under my father in law's name and he is a veteran. His own condo get a discounted mortgage payment and the overall cost is less too) Plus food, which is a good four hundred a month. Plus clothes, and other necessities.

AND THAT'S NOT COUNTING MY ANIMALS.

Which tbh are the cheapest things on the list to take care of.

Me and my boo get by because we don't buy stupid shit and don't treat ourselves often. Maybe its weird of me to think, but I would hazard a guess that wanting to treat yourself if you can afford it isn't a crime or something shameful. You worked hard for that damn money.

I am so FUCKING sick of the older generation saying how EVERY single person under a certain age is ungrateful or doesn't know how to function in society and be the same type of adult they were. Teach us your wisdomly ways, then and try to get and keep a job with your sour attitudes and rude demeanors in this day's climate, I beg of you.

Another issue with this is that Some people SIMPLY don't make enough. Some people have to get upwards of three roommates to help pay bills and make end's meet, and even then it can be a gamble.

I am in no means well off, but I make enough combined with my Jonathan to live. Every once in a while we can afford to have a nice dinner, we can afford to buy a dvd, we can afford to go to fun things. But that's only because we plan ahead for it. Only because we use our brains.

Whiney Entitlement....

The only fucking humans I meet who are entitled are ones raised by entitled people, and those are raised by the boomers who think that they(the boomers) are a gift from the gods, can do no wrong and deserve everyone's respect and admiration and compliance even when undeserved. Not all boomers are like this, but enough are for me to make the comparison.

Younger generations are tired of being treated like garbage by the older ones. The good younger gen people, not the entitled ones, they will think you're wronging them no matter what you do. But the good ones? They just wanna do their best, they want to have good lives with a house and a family and pets and friends and a steady job.

The problem isn't whiney millenials, it's the assholes who raised them and the assholes who fucked the economy so badly that people have to work three jobs to afford basic human needs.

So, please, come at me for my "entitlement".

Wanting a good life is a human ideal. And not a crime, for boomers once called that ideal the American Dream. Those same people decimated that dream and still expect us to reach it the same way they did.

Sorry for the sudden midnight outburst, but I have very strong feelings on this matter, and hate people who accuse an entire group of people of something based on a few outliers. I only accuse when I see an overabundance, like with the boomer gen. Again, not all of them are like that, but, more are than there should be.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 7 - "Okay there we go. I'm caught up. Now give me my winner's edit back." - Trace

Not only did nehe go but he did NOT play his idol AND i got him to tell me where he found it. Its a long shot but if the host rehide it in the same coordinates im set. Now I just gotta make sure I dont get crucified for it.

Fuck! That just happened and it was great. Me working with Matt and Adrian was smart because they actually felt the same way I felt about Nehe. Like i really liked him but trusting him after he already backstabbed me!? Nahh. It is time to play this game.

The past two days have been the greatest days in survivor history for me and no matter what happens and even if I’m out next no one can take away my masterful Nehe blindside, my earning the trust of the people I voted against last tribal and finding an idol with my best girl Kait. Let’s keep this energy please.

I feel very fucking stupid. Have work and I am not able to talk to my tribe, I self-vote, and now I am considered inactive, rightfully so. I need to get that inactive label off my ass ASAP

Madison really is trying it. She is trying to get isolated because it's obvious there will be an advantage there. She is saying it would be nice for someone on our tribe to have it, but I don't trust her. I doubt she would let anyone know what the actual advantage is if there is one. But at the same time, people will assume she has something and that will make the target on her back so much greater. Also, it's a round of safety so no shit she wants it. I don't think I can outright say "oh no no no, i don't want you going" even though that is how I feel. I would rather send Matt because I trust him more than I trust Madison.

What's a guy gotta do to get voted into isolation? Positive or negative idc, if I'm forced into retrograde that helps my resume. Vote me Ma'an. How do these people not realize our vote doesn't matter aside from it being public, Ma'an is obviously going to vote together they have no reason not to especially with it being PUBLIC our vote is straight up how it will be perceived by people not deciding who goes to isolation.  For a bunch of smart guys they're being stupid.

It’s the next day after tribal last night. I need to talk to Stephen. We have played before and Ive been hosted by him so we have some history. We techically havent been working together but we have had some communication and we havent gone after each other. I need to talk and see if he’s willing to work with me in this game. This Moon twist is so weird and i dont know whats going to happen. We are going to all cote together and its between Cloe and Thomas. They feel that sending someone to exile gives hosts the perfect numbers to do a swap. Which would be bad but not too horrible. Just if there is I want to be in a tribe with Aidan, Madison, Matt S, Stephen, and perhaps Ian/Timmy.

- - -

It is coming close to 7 o’cock and im getting nervous to find out what happens. This moon twist could really mess things up or cause lots of trouble if person isolated gets an advantage or something.

So what people might be thinking right now is "wow Timmy is an idiot and went against his entire tribe" but with the way this game is set up WHO CARES. I haven't spoken to Madison or Chloe much so I know neither of them are going to tell me what happened in the Oasis. Madison had been pushing all day for her to go but also saying "it doesn't matter much I'll do whatever" but whenever someone tried to bring up another plan she would immediately shut it down and suggest herself. That was super sketchy to me so no way in hell was I going to be sending her there. I got to make the final decision and I am so happy about that because I got to do what I wanted, which was not send Madison. There is no real reason to stick to any tribal lines for this season since you don't go to tribal as a tribe. Yea it helps with keeping more people safe with immunity, but I've been doing a good job at that on my own. I'm very methodical with this game and everything I do has a reason that is thought out for it and this one was because Madison is sketchy and I wanted her to feel not safe because she was already basically gloating about going. She didn't need it, Chloe needed it more because she was already in danger so why not give her a break and she deserves some possible advantage. Madison didn't need it by any means, I needed it more than she did because I have been safe for so many rounds that if I go to tribal I am a threat so a little solace of a possible advantage would have been nice but I wasn't going to shove my name into the ring. I know this entire thing could be my downfall, but at the same time you have to take chances so that's what I did and I don't regret it for one second.

Basically what I was expecting happened and we had a tribe swap. Cloe is safe in isolation. Warzone is still a thing so no normal tribals yet. I want to win this immunity because i dont want to be at tribal while at disneyland. Or maybe if i am ill show u guys while im there.

me at matt and owen rn: 

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh2G2YfIgAACSlm.jpg

Well. Hot diggity Dog huh? I’m kind of glad we swapped right before Ma’an literally imploded over who to isolate. I guess Chloe is there now which I feel bad about but I feel like I can work with her and whatever she’s got since we’ve voted together twice. I’m glad I have Madison here as an ally as well as Adrian, even tho he was giving me one word and emoji answers (suspicious!!! Emojis are never good). I hope he’s not afraid of me considering he literally spent last warzone going “I can’t believe how easily you got everyone to think Thomas was the vote you’re so good at this” like yes I am but don’t notice that! I have my idol which is nice and relieving and Kaits the only only person who knows about it, which might mean Kait may be a loose end for me. I love her to DEATH and really trust her but she kinda weirded me out during the isolation vote by being catty. If that’s how she is with that vote, does she go even harder during tribal? The thing with Kait and Owen is like they’re my best friends from high school or something. But going off to warzone with Maynor twice and Madison twice was like going to college and meeting new friends who you share insane experiences with and then go back to your high school friends and there’s a disconnect. I just hope me trying to be a friend to all doesn’t smush me in the middle. I’m not ready to be smushy.

It too me 41 minutes to do this challenge. I think i did okay but i could be totally off. I really hope i was able to get atleast enough of it correct for me to win safety. I dont really want to go to tribal but I have a decent allies that i might be safe. Matt told Kait to talk to me and we are getting along. Id be down to work with her in this game. I have to wait and see what happens with these tribal results later. I dont wanna be worrying about the vote while im in disneyland.

I only know of like, 5 of these people. Ians here thats good, Corey is here that isnt, maynor i think is good. Love the guy but he plays the game. Heres to another messy warzone! This challenge sucked.

Fuck that challenge and fuck Arianna Grande. It's f17, I am not going to throw that much of my time away on a f17 challenge, that's just asinine. If anyone thinks those challenges are fun then there is something wrong with you. I'd rather burn my idol than subject myself to the torture that challenge was. Sort your own damn screenshots.

Whale, whale, whale. New tribes and shit. I have a save vote thing that I may keep if I decide to not vote at my next tribal council. Unfortunately, if I am in the warzone tonight, (and I believe I will be due to my slow performance) I don't believe I will get this power; with only 8 of us there and Chloe joining the tribe that loses a person, I don't see myself refraining from voting. I am intrigued by the other tribe voting Madison and i assume she volunteered. I don't know what is up w Timmy and he is now the single person I have yet to speak to. Regardless, I have taken the opportunity to bond w Kait and a bit with Thomas. I need to shield my own ass in case I'm in WZ. Kait seems scared of it, understandably, and a sympathetic new boi to her is not threatening and she may see me as an asset if we end up there together. I'm thankful for Ian on my tribe as he's the only person I feel comfortable with talking game with and long-term and short-term strategy. Wish I had Matt, Devon, Adrian or Owen on my team though. Sucks that Maynor is here. BUT regardless! I am doing my best.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense ���� sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise