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altcvnningham · 6 months ago

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guysss 300 notes!!! from the bottom to the very tippy top of my heart- thank you thank you thank you!!!!! <3

sappy rant below

wahhhh getting sappy and personal here but i wanted to keep it on my blog regardless if anyone reads it because of how much canis major in particular means to me and what she represents. i wish i had the time and the braincells to write the words i actually want to say so i'll attempt here

in the grand scheme 300 notes might not seem much at all- back in my old fic writing days i had a longfic for another fandom that hit 800k reads, and yeeears'worth of comments and messages daily- but canis major, adlerbell, and the introduction to the cod (cw/bo) fandom in particular is something so special to me that idc if i had 5 notes or 5000 notes. i'm just touched that it's canis major in particular that has gained the attention and enjoyment of lovely lovely people!!

she's the first piece of writing i posted for the first time in years on the internet, but most important to me personally is that she's the first major piece of writing i successfully finished after about a year long 'hiatus' from writing; and i use quotation marks because it wasn't a deliberate hiatus. getting personal here so tw// abuse mention

that 'hiatus' was actually a whole year and a half where i was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. writing has been my main hobby and my joy since i learned how to pick up a pencil, and yet it was the hateful and insipid treatment of an insecure man that managed to suck the joy out of it for me. he made living a gruelling experience and i felt i couldn't even run to the refuge of writing because apart from the constant stress i was under, if i did end up writing anything, it would only ever be about him and the agony he was putting me through. so i stopped, because even writing had become a torture that he seemingly had control over. a part of myself so intimate that i previously believed he could never take away from me, was.

i left him for good in february of this year, and have grieved and healed a thousand times over- i'm not only a different person entirely but i feel like i've forged a whole new life that he has no claim over. but even then when i wrote, it was either processing that grief and trauma, or they were scattershot ideas that remained unfinished.

then in about october (after i'd filed a police report over his ongoing harassment and abuse lol) i found the cod games and begrudgingly fell in love w a series i had always swore to hate. and then i fell in love with adler and bell and wrote canis major.

after years of leaving every scrap of writing unfinished, i sat and worked through this vague idea as a labour of love- a labour nonetheless, and sometimes i fucking hated it, but i really did put so much heart and care into those measly 2000 words. when i posted it on here i really only thought i'd get like 12 notes at most, and stay in my quiet corner of the fandom lurking on 'better' and bigger bloggers. but i was blessed to have it seen and enjoyed by so many wonderful people, and all of yall who have just been the kindest and most welcoming of any fandom i've ever been in. i can't believe that some vague, hazily executed drabble i wrote could be liked at all let alone loved by some. and as much as i love my other fics too, it always hits harder when people express their enjoyment of canis major in particular, because of what she means to me- she really is my baby lol.

canis major to me isn't just my debut into posting online again, nor do i think she's particularly all that good- but it's proof that i can reclaim the joy i felt my abuser took from me, from my love of writing, as my first piece i finally completed after i left him. i suppose to the average reader these things don't seem connected at all, but to me, after all the pain i experienced, after how many deaths of self i have grieved over and over again this year, and how much i've changed, all i really wanted was to fall back in love with writing again. and canis major is something i'm immensely proud of- not because i believe it's all that good, because, well, i've seen the absolute insane amount of talent this fandom has to offer and i barely hold a candle to any of them- but i'm proud because of what she represents to me; finally putting the stars back in the sky i felt he stole from.

i remember some nights i used to point out the big dipper to him and he would belittle me, one time even pushing me over when i looked up to admire the constellation unaware. canis major, my small little labour of love, is the constellation i can admire at all times of the day, that i put there, that he can never take from me. that is wholly my own.

yeah i'm a total sap and i'm cringe and it's just a stupid cod fanfic but idgaf she is my baby and nobody knows what an achievement she is for me >.<

my goal this year after i left and worked through my healing was only just to write again- i never imagined i'd post anything, gain any sort of recognition whatsoever, and certainly never thought i could hit anywhere near to this many notes on something i wrote as an expression of love and ghosts and delayed grief.

tldr; from the bottom of my heart- thank you!!!

canis major

adler x bell!reader

summary: adler doesn’t go back to berlin to forget, but he isn’t so eager to remember, either. after leaving you for dead on that clifftop in the arctic, he knows best to leave the past well alone. too bad that past seems to be alive and walking right in front of him; though where he wants to forget, it seems you’ve already beaten him to the punch. or; bell survives solovetsky and only has a hole in her head and amnesia to show for it. read on ao3

tags/cw: bell!reader, amnesia, light angst, referenced adlerbell, somehow bell survives the ending of cw, adler can't let shit go, adler is not capable of remorse but mayyybe a lil guilt?? dog symbolism always, no pairing yet but hopefully i continue this as a spicy drabble series idk wc: 2.7k

a/n: sooo this is my first fic for the cod fandom and the first fic i've posted online in a long time so hopefully this lil ramble suffices!! i've had adlerbell brainrot and wanted to get at least something out before bo6 ruins all of my headcanons so here's a snippet of something i hopefully find the motivation to continue into a mini series. enjoy :')

Sometimes, he goes back to Berlin.

Stumbling out of the muggy bar into the dank alleyway out the back, Adler fishes out a pack of cigarettes from the front of his jacket; two firm knocks of it against his palm before he plucks one out with his mouth, pockets the box, and flips open his lighter. The clink of the metal echoes into the empty around him, the sudden quiet suffused with the sounds of passing cars on the street, muffled laughter from inside the bar, and the distant barking of dogs. Strays.

The cigarette ignites, glowing a cherry red, and he gasps around the filter greedily. Upon exhale, he sighs.

Adler isn’t a sentimental man by any means. What little he clings to, he does so with a loose grip, less than happy but stolid enough to allow whatever else he deems unnecessary slip through his fingers. Places, people. Things. Memories. Tucks the important things- logic, rationality, work, duty- into orderly compartments at the forefront of his mind, archived and marked off ‘til he needs it, while the rest, the mess, gets done away with, thrown into the great black gorge of oblivion. Anything else that stays- more often than not a thorn in his side, an unbidden, wriggling tumour he can’t find let alone cut out- is sequestered to a dark aperture in the back of his mind, anchored deep where it can’t come back up. Yet somehow, some nights, they always do. The smell of his ex-wife’s hair. The day he got his scar. Vietnam. The lab. Solovetsky—

The next word, the name, forks across his mind like lightning, and he bites his tongue before he can think it. It sits at the back of his mouth, nestled like an aching cavity in his molars. A tremulous breath that he forces down with another drag of his cigarette. Out with the rest. Out with the rest.

The barking doesn’t cease. Dogs, a pair of them, he can hear a couple streets over. He pictures them from the gravelly register of their snarling- maybe German Shepherds, a Bullmastiff or a Rottweiler. Their fight enunciated by the violent rattling of chain-link fences, segregated, the only threshold that keeps teeth from necks.

But no, not a sentimental man. He tells himself that the itch to revisit Berlin every Summer is for superficial reasons, and by no means is renting out a shithole hotel room opposite a sewer-laden river considered a vacation from anything other than the luxuries he gorges himself mindlessly on at home- maybe this is to keep him humble, more than anything. It doesn’t do well to remind himself of old times, not when he’s lived the life he has. Remembering seldom accompanies itself with the bittersweetness of reminiscence, and the taste it leaves in his mouth is always acrid. He doesn’t miss Berlin any more than he misses that dismal safehouse, or that sterile room he wheeled you into, questioned- tortured- no, interrogated- well, he doesn’t care to remind himself of the picture. Or the person he strapped to the gurney. But he catches himself thinking back to the city divided more than he likes to admit, and for whatever ostensible reason it is that drags him back here, he relents to it every time.

He tells himself it’s the weather, the cool rain a nice reprieve from the scorching California heat. Or that the food is better, not so much overprocessed shit and sugars. Can take his coffee as black as he likes without the waitress turning her nose up about it and double-triple-checking if he’s sure. And it’s the people, maybe, who leave him well enough alone. Or the drinks. The views, some places. The- air.

Not like Arctic air. Not like—

The one dog’s snarl rips bloodcurdling through the night, all froth and venom, and as the chain-link fence screeches and judders in its rusted welding the other mutt quiets a moment. Cowers under the meaner dog’s ferocity. Then, like it had been wounded, it lets out a low, anguished howl, beast reduced to a scared little pup. Adler holds the smoke in his chest around a stifled breath anticipating a release. But the first dog just grumbles, the fence clinks, and there isn’t much noise after that.

But the quiet doesn’t last long- just as Adler drops his cigarette and snuffs it with a wrench of his heel, another sound resonates, yowling through the alley.

The grinding of tires upon wet asphalt crunches from just beyond the alleyway entrance. The streetlamp overhanging the entryway glares bright yellow as it bounces off of the garishly coloured taxi cab, pulling up to a groaning halt outside the bar.

He thinks nothing of it, pulling at the collar of his leather jacket. It’s getting cold, and he’s left his drink inside. Wouldn’t want to waste good beer. Adler turns, and makes for the door.

And you step out of the car.

A half-finished cigarette bounces on the sidewalk before you exit, the softened heel of your boot following soon after in a splash upon the flooded curb. Your German is rusty- always has been- but it’s easy enough to utter a quick and easy danke as you pull yourself up out of the cab. The door shuts with a slam, and you tilt your head back to gaze up at the sign above the bar- Der Fluss Lethe glaring in faded lightbox red- and you let out a contented sigh, your breath suspended in the frigid air. Pink, bitten fingers pluck at your gloves, fingerless faded green knit, shovelling them into your jacket pocket.

Adler’s fist is already curled around the handle of the back door as he clocks your presence in his periphery, a stranger like any other- but your image resembles the one that coagulates in the borders of old memory, the dried blood of you he hasn’t been able to wash his hands of since ‘81. Enough that he does a double take, his eyes wide behind tinted glasses, and he stops, his heart following suit.

He’s seen enough bodies in his time to fill the morgue in his mind twice over, and plenty ghosts to wander coldly among the unmarked graves. Vietnam alone is an unwinding cemetery stretching endless, catacombs along the inside of his skull, lined with what his old shrink would call remorse. Guilt. As if the feeling mattered. As if self-reproach could turn self-flagellation into something so incandescent as redemption. As if the bile in the back of his throat could bring back the dead.

And it couldn’t, because it isn’t… that’s not—

Bell.

It’s in the way you stand, your back rigid, that slight slouch to your shoulders, always dragged down upon you like they bore the weight of the whole world (and they did, once, do you remember?). The pelting of rain smacks off of the lapels of your jacket and ricochets like stars, caught in the light of the streetlamp overhead, but for all he knows or cares it could be raining diamond and all he sees is you- the wrinkling of your nose as you accommodate to the cold, how your cheeks flush at the chill (as they had those nights he pulled you into the darkroom, evidence of your apprehension drowned in the red glow of safelights); your hair is longer, unkempt, but still that same colour (clumps he’d find in his clenched fist when you’d argue yourselves into a wrestling match, pinning each other by the throats to dented walls in Die Landebahn); that scar upon your brow; that wavering line of your lip, pursed and hiding behind your reticence as you always did, and your eyes- your eyes—

—you feel someone watching—

—your eyes turn, and fix upon him with the startled softness of a doe, hunter betrayed by the snapping of a branch underfoot. Adler’s heel crunches against broken glass, his hand lingering right in that threadbare threshold upon the doorhandle, and he can’t speak, can’t move, can’t think—

Open the door, Bell, open the door—

—and you stop outside the cab, your breath caught in your throat. You see a shadow in the alley, in the shape of a man.

The darkness of the alley gives enough cover that you don’t see much, but what you do make out of the man prickles at a part of your mind long dormant: the haughtily broad set of the shoulders; the halo of blond tinted red just beneath the flickering exit light above the door where he stands; the shadow of a strong, clenched jaw; and in the brief glinting of passing headlights as cars rush on behind you, you see a face half gorged by a thick, forked scar, a fissure struck down his furrowed expression. A pair of dark aviator glasses hide those eyes that you know are looking at you, reflecting back nothing but your own bewilderment.

There is something you know. Deep inside that half rotted head of yours, where an incomplete recollection of your existence before you awoke bleeding on that clifftop lies, you feel a twinge of recognition. Familiarity. Something. Something stirring deep in your marrow- a fear inherited, a conditioned surrender, a faded polaroid, a kiss? Your migraine, chronic, comes clawing back with a vengeance, as it does most nights, but this time with a savage fervour that wrenches your face into an involuntary grimace. Where the hole in your head had once been all those years ago it tickles and burns, burrowing into your brain and groping greedy fingers along remnants of memory. It claws at you, digging through your amygdala to find something fresh, something old, something palpable, real, something- anything. Searching what little remains visible to you in the thick fog of your own mind to pin a meaning to this feeling, an answer to your question, a name to that face.

You’ve seen him before. You swear. Somewhere. In a dream, reoccurring, behind a red door. You don’t know how, or why you’d think you recognise him- in those dreams, the door never even opens. Your hand ever stuck on the handle, jammed and impenetrable, what sits behind it forbidden to you. Like not even your own mind wants you to know. It confines you to your ignorance, almost blissful.

Adler’s heart kicks violently in his chest. He shot you. He killed you. He’d heard your death rattle on that clifftop in Solovetsky and the sound was almost like singing, your last word, your last breath. A miserere for your short and fractured life. And he’s looking at your ghost, standing there all owl-eyed and as beautiful as the day he found you bleeding out on that airstrip. Before he took you. Before he took you and collared you and made a damned mess of things.

The only thing separating you from the Bell he knows he killed- his Bell- is the star-shaped scar split across your left temple. The only wound he never had to sit and heal as he belligerently patched you up, poking and preening you like his prize dog. Yet in spite of never seeing it before, he recognises the wound all too well. He put it there himself.

And as you stand there for that brief moment- no more than twelve seconds stretched to an eternity- he thinks for a moment that you’ve put it together. You recognise him. You see him. As he is. You’ve figured him out, Bell, as you always do. You’re the only one to have gotten away with it, nearly. Or so he thought. And now he’s watching a corpse having dug itself out of the grave he put it in, standing there, staring at him. Suppose you’ve always been a dead man walking.

You could do it, he thinks. Turn. Fling your heel round and barrel towards him with all the enmity of a cornered animal. He thinks of the strays, barking. Can picture your mouth frothing at the sides as you sink your teeth down into him- gnarled canines, hooked to your chain-link fence- which he probably deserves. Not an unfamiliar feeling by any stretch, but one faraway enough to seem almost sweet now through the hazy lens of nostalgia. If there truly is a sentimental bone in his body after all, then maybe it’s just for that. Still, he holds his breath, awaiting the killing blow he’s surely due. But it never comes.

You release your held breath, finally, tearing your eyes away from the callous faced stranger. It’s a ridiculous notion. Just an uncanny instance of déjà vu. You don’t know that man any more than you know yourself. You settle on a more rational answer- just one of those faces. And with a disgruntled sigh you rub the scar upon your temple to soothe the ache, turn around, and enter the bar alone.

Adler sighs, his heart sinking from up high in his throat back down to his chest. His hand has latched onto the doorhandle for so long it’s gone numb from the cold, bruised knuckles bluer than they were before (bar fights- not here, but another, as there will always be). He wrestles his jaw pensively, knowing he ought to take it off, keep the door closed, turn away, and leave. Slink back, tail between his legs, to that shithole hotel room to drink himself into a stupor. Let you haunt him there, instead. As you always have.

But he doesn’t. He has no idea what idiocy compels him, what soft, dewy-eyed weak link in him snags on that chain, to willingly wander back into the viper den of reminiscence, but he wrenches his fist around the handle, pushes, and lets himself back into the bar, the thick, hot air hitting him like a drug that he breathes in, tart and sour with the cloy of sweat and alcohol but still faintly- just faintly- of you. Like rain carried along the wind.

And Russell Adler is not a sentimental man.

But from across the bar he hides behind his beer glass, watches as you move about, a phantom, weaving through the faceless mass of people celebrating a championship he cares nothing to follow. You take your order at the bar with a smile he’s never seen on you before, boots folded to tip-toes as you lean over the liquor-stickied top, your perfect mouth pink and sweet and laughing and alive. The world seems to move about you in a haze, an indistinct mist of blurred faces and bottled voices and beyond all the light and life and joy that seems to burn bright around you like a halo all he sees is you.

Maybe, then, he’s a fool.

But it isn’t lost on him, how your fingers skirt across your hair in an attempt to hide the scar upon your temple. Nor is it lost on him how you wince at the feeling, the stars in your eyes dimmed for just a split second as you shiver, like a touch imperceptible running fingers down your back. Nor even the way you fight the urge to look, to follow the feeling of his eyes fixed upon you, and surely not the way you lose that fight, surrendered to it, your sweet face turning and finding him in an instant. Without so much as trying, like instinct, like something as pathetic and saccharine as fate. Your heart called to it, a lighthouse in the fog. Port in the storm. Ships passing in the night but called crashing to the same shore.

(The pieces of you are scattered everywhere, Bell. He finds you in every split seam inside himself. Splintered shrapnel dug through his temporal lobe, severing synapses ‘til they go dark. Even stars die quicker than that. Quicker than you. Is that what it felt like for you, too? When the lights went out, was it him you last saw- or the sky, waxen, over the Arctic? A waning night, a distant moon. The inconsequence of death- brief celestial ephemera.)

The stranger across the bar looks at you, offering nary a smile, eyes indiscernible behind shadowed sunglasses. And where you ought to find his apparent coldness disconcerting, instead you wring out of your chest with a white-knuckled caress a feeling like… comfort.

Sometimes, Bell, you go back to Berlin. You don’t quite know why.

#wahhh sorry im such a sap #also extensive georgia lore drop that literally 0 people asked for or care about #but idgaf this is my blog and my personal achievements mean as much as the silly writing ones #so #anyway thank you everyone who read liked and reblogged!!!!!#georgia rambles

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ayukaze · 2 years ago

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Hadn't posted a poll in a hot minute so here I am 🤲🏻

I'm planning to change the name of my TyHil AU Oneshot Collection and I need help deciding the new title. Why am I changing the name? Because I've realised that I'm never gonna have it in me to actually write 100 parts for it so I need a title that doesn't betray my intentions.

*the phrase basically means that the grand scheme of life is made up of small meetings and moments and they are all important, no matter how inconsequential they might seem

#tyhil #takao x hiromi #tyson x hilary #beyblade #beyblade fanficition #beyblade polls #polls #ayushitposting

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chidoroki · 5 years ago

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Would any of TPN kids kill another human?

I first had this idea back with ch160 but didn't give it that much thought. That has changed ever since the kids raided Grace Field House. More demons, more plot twists, more guns. As my worries constantly grew, so did the amount of human enemies; Peter Ratri, his men, Isabella, the mothers and sisters. While a human enemy isn't anything new (Isabella & Krone at Grace Field and Andrew & his men back at B06-32), they are far less common than all the demons we've encountered up til this point. The children have no trouble hurting or killing demons when they've come across them. Humans, however, are very different. In most cases, the kids have survived by escaping, so harming another human has rarely crossed their minds. With everyone now stranded on the Grace Field plantation, their usual tactic won't be possible. Sure, the reforged promised will (probably) allow the kids to finally escape, but being trapped on a dangerous plantation with a group of highly intelligent and armed humans in the meantime does make you a bit anxious.

Of course, my worries have lessened with recent chapters. Isabella & her ladies are now helping the children, which is huge. Peter's followers are still around (i assume?) but don’t pose much a threat. The major concern that remains is Peter himself, especially with his most recent scheme to kill our best girl. We know he has no issue with pulling off such an act, but what about Emma?

I've seen people get really excited about these panels, hoping that Emma would shoot the bastard. While I fully support the idea of this boy getting the pain he so rightfully deserves, I don't think he'll get it at this moment. As I've said, humans are different. The kids shooting a demon? No problem. Killing one? Absolutely. Shooting another human? Rare. Actually killing a human? Unheard of. The series has given us glimpses of murder in the past (the shelter raid and Andrew) so expecting it again wouldn’t be too farfetched. I'm not saying there will definitely be a moment where in happens in the near future, but if there would be, who do I believe would be capable of committing such an act? Allow me to ramble..

Emma: No. This is the girl who has trouble killing demons. Yes, she's fully capable of doing so in order to defend herself and her family, but she doesn't normally wish death upon anyone, or anything (events at Goldy Pond being exceptions). She can be reckless but killing an actual person just wouldn't fit her character. If it had to be done, she would most likely regret it immediately. Fear of making wrong decisions tend to weigh heavily in her mind. In this scenario with Peter, I have no doubt she'll try to talk him and change his heart. We've seen her talk-no-jutsu Yuugo and Norman, even attempted to do so with other villains such as Lewis and Andrew. If she were to fire her weapon here, it would probably be in self-defense and would only cause injury, but not kill. (unless, something happens that makes her completely snap)

Don, Gilda & the Grace Field kids: No. Most of them are far too young. Don may have the physical strength but I believe he avoids killing if it's possible, fancying the run away tactic more (ch138). I don’t recall Gilda ever killing a demon herself.. or shooting an arrow or gun. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Norman: No...? Like Gilda, I have yet to see this boy use the gun he's been given. That's not to say he isn't capable though. He miraculously escaped Lambda somehow, right? He also had absolutely no doubts when ordering a civil war, killing the royals and the extinction of the demons. He isn't against the idea of killing or having the blood on his hands (figuratively and literally), however the deed has never been done by his own hands. He had his Lambda crew and a ton of poison for that. If the series wishes to throw me through a loop and surprise me, then go for it.

The Lambda crew: Yes but no. These kids have so much pride in their power that killing demons is seen as a simple task. Hell, some of them even enjoy it. Their animosity towards such creatures is well known, and I believe they might hold such feelings towards the humans who experimented on them as well. If the opportunity arises, they could pull it off. The issue is that they all follow Norman's command. It's rare they don't follow his orders. Not only that, but.. aren’t they all like seriously injured right now? Cislo, Barbara and Zazie from their fight against the Queen and Vincent was recently shot at too. Hayato seems like too pure of a boy to do such a thing, same thing with Jin.. wherever he is.

Oliver & the Goldy Pond kids: Yes and no. Remember how I said it was rare for one of the kids to shoot another human? Well that occasion belongs to Oliver, back when he shot Andrew's shoulder and hand with wonderful accuracy. Taking it a step further to actually kill someone? I think he would be the only one out of the Goldy Pond group to commit to that, especially after holding a gun to Peter's head during that whole “you’re not our father” nonsense. I can imagine any of the others following Oliver's lead and cause harm to another human, but that's as far as it goes. Well, at least the half of them that aren’t being kept safe in the storage room at the moment. I have my doubts, but if any of them did shoot to kill, I would only be mildly surprised.

Ayshe: Yes. Humans killed her demon father figure. It's natural that she wants to kill them in return and get some sort of revenge. She claimed she could never forgive them. Granted, those humans were Norman and his crew and they're now all working together during the Grace Field raid, but she could still hold a grudge. Honestly, I'll be all for it. Having her kill a human (preferably Peter) in order to feel that satisfaction and to allow herself to let go of that hatred would be nice. Maybe she has already, idk, she doesn't say much. I just love her and want to see her get more attention.

Ray: Yes. Ray is the reason why I kept thinking so much about this idea. Back when ch160 released, we saw just how angry he is at the Ratri clan for being the sole reason why all of this suffering even started. Suffering that lead everyone around him to live such harsh lives and take the lives of people he cared about. I couldn't help but notice the fury in his eyes. Such an intense look that we've seen several times before.

That look usually surfaces whenever someone's life is at risk. He showed that same animosity after Lewis stabbed Emma, and we know for a fact that Ray had full intentions to kill in that moment. Granted, Lewis is a demon and killing one is reasonable, but that shows us how merciless he can be towards an enemy (something not all the Grace Field kids are capable of) and just how important those people are to him.

When emotions are running high, we see just how strong his desire is to protect his family, no matter what it takes. He never really dismisses the idea during a life and death situation, whether the threat is a demon or another human.

It shouldn't be too surprising. Like Ayshe, Ray has shown us his hatred towards certain humans for a long time and the idea of killing them has never been a foreign concept to him. It may be subtle, but it's there. We can go back as far as the first arc if we wish to see it.

He knows how unethical the act is and how serious one must be to commit to it. He understands that such a concept would be way too hard for most of the children to carry out, Emma included. In order to achieve safety and happiness for his family, he'll protect them not only from a physical threat but from doing something they might regret and hurting themselves mentally & emotionally.

He was once so close too. I don't mean a simple injury either, I mean a full on headshot. Dead. One-hit KO. He finally had the resolve to throw all moral aside in order to save an innocent life, because he would rather deal with such a trivial burden that would only affect his sanity than have any more casualties in his family that would ultimately weigh everyone down. Ah, if only it weren’t for that wild demon..

Some might think that one of the kids killing another human may be stepping over the line, but if any of them had the chance in a dire situation, my bet would be on Ray. He shares that hatred towards certain humans like Ayshe. He's shown his hostile side like the Lambda crew, as well as Emma on occasion. Speaking of our girl, the two of them are both highly protective of their family. While he may not be as reckless as she is, he still had his moments. From his suicide attempt, to using himself at bait in the demon forest. He snuck into a demon hunting ground in order to save our best girl and eventually fight alongside her and others against one of the best villains I've seen. He chose to escort a large group of children to safety, knowing he would be on edge for three weeks constantly worrying about Emma's condition, instead of making the quick trip back with Yuugo because he knew how important it was to her that those kids, new members of their family, remained safe and feel what true freedom is. He also journeyed to the Seven Walls knowing full well there would be a low chance of returning or even making a new promise. He took all of those chances so others could survive and have a better future. (am i giving him too much credit? idc i love him) He's willing to do so much for his family and I'm so proud of him. So if Ray were to pull the trigger now, when his family is face to face with the savage man who caused his loved ones to suffer their entire lives, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest.

Now originally, my thoughts stopped there, but with the return of a certain someone.. I shall add one more possibility.

Isabella: Yes. Please. Having her own the shot that claims Peter's life would grant me much happiness. It would be the best payback for not only having her suffer, but her wonderful children as well. I feel like it would be an act of kindness (i guess thats what i'll call it?) similar to Yuugo and Lucas agreeing that they alone should shoulder that heavy burden of dealing with Andrew's men in the shelter while the kids escaped.

Of course I could've just been rambling for no reason at all because who know if anyone is even going to actually kill someone? If the moment ever comes, I can imagine Emma trying to talk them out of pulling the trigger, too. So, there we go. These thoughts have been whirling around my mind for weeks but now I'm free.

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #tpn emma #tpn norman #tpn oliver #tpn ayshe #tpn ray #tpn isabella #emma #norman #oliver #ayshe #ray #mother isabella #chidoroki used chatter

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bi-outta-cordonia · 6 years ago

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Top 10s

The year is coming to a close and despite this being my first foray into PB fandom for the year, some interesting shit has happened in these books and 2019 was full of all sorts of fun stories. I want to cap off Choices this year by naming my top ten favorite moments in all the books released in 2019.

Tagging all my favorite unfriendly Black hotties: @questionablespecies @imogen-wescott @beyonceswigs @annelyseadair @cassiopeiacorvus @massivelysilentchaos @nikkisha16 @boujeechoices @raleigh-carrera @mand-delemonde

10) BB MC training with Jax: I like. Many things. Many things involve swords. Jax training BB MC in fight skills was awesome as a scene, especially since it came with the moment of him reestablishing his connection with his blade and the two of them touching foreheads as they come to terms with her death. But nothing--nothing--is gonna top the moment where the two of them literally fight each other. They train and they train hard as hell. “What’s this position called?” “It’s called ‘you better not break my defense because I’ll kick your ass’.” And then she cuts part of his shirt. He looks up, they start back with the training, and he slices part of her dress. They keep going until eventually there are no more clothes and they are now on the ground, making out. The exact opposite of training, but I can’t hear over the receptors in my brain that sound off for couple training scenes.

9) “Oh, you like that”: Listen. NB was trash. There’s no denying that. But that first moment when you finally get to dive into Cal, make out with him, when ol girl takes off both of their clothes for the most intense face sucking she’s ever experienced in life? And then he dips his head or bites her neck or whatever the fuck he does--I don’t even remember. Because what I do remember--very vividly--is damn near throwing my phone across the room when he says “Oh, you like that...” I read it in his drawl, felt that shit in my soul, and it will never not make me so incredibly disappointed that we will never get to see him really go buck wild with MC because it was there.

8) Landry bailing if you don’t talk to him: It happened with Vanessa, happened with Becca, happened with Olivia, happened with Sebastian--sometimes. I don’t want to make friends with folks who come at me sideways when it doesn’t immediately benefit them. Landry being a little coward was something all the intelligent folks saw coming but you could see inklings of the narrative trying to set him up for redemption at the eleventh hour. Except. I didn’t want that. A majority of folks did not want that it seems. And PB listened for once and didn’t force us to have to interact with him during the last leg of the first book. If you talk to everyone in the friend group before you get to him, he bails and is not seen or heard from. Good.

7) MOTY MC making bank off her deadbeat ex husband: MOTY was also another unexpected favorite to come out of 2019 and told the story of a single mother trying to raise her baby right. Guy was and is easily the worst antagonist to ever show up in these books because he is so disgustingly real. Emotionally abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, and cruel--he did everything in his power to exert power over MC. He wanted the kid, not because he wanted to be her father but because he wanted to use her to help boost him, and going through the whole book making sure to pick options that would best demonstrate that MC was providing exactly what the baby needs, only for the judge to say that not only is she not awarding custody to Guy but he also has to pay child support, pro- and retroactively?? When sis opened that bank account and saw tens of thousands sitting in her savings?? I almost cried.

6) ILB MC rising from certain death and avenging her parents: Okay so this might be cheating a little because ILB came out in 2018, but I also said this was a top ten list of shit that happened in 2019, and seeing this bitch break out of a coffin, swim up, and straight murder the man that took her parents from her was insanity. Richard really thought he had her on the ropes, huh? He thought she wasn’t gonna be able to break out and kick his ass? And when she told him that, as far as the entire town was concerned, he was already dead and they were just waiting for his body to wash up? Ooh, she wasn’t stuck on the boat with him--he was trapped on the lake with her.

5) Logan was a forced LI for a good reason??: Girls, Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance was an unexpected fave this year but out of all the moments to choose from that absolutely floored me, the fact that Logan was so heavily pushed was because Kaneko asked him to gain your trust so that the crew could use you? That shit hurt so much and had me screaming the entire time I was tapping through the revelation scenes. I mean, we’ve had LIs betray MCs a ton of times but I still could not believe that Logan had so thoroughly did what he did and when they showed you the flashbacks of the very subtle ways he was trying to weed information from MC? In the early stages?? Man.....this is why my MC went with Colt--kidding kidding. She is with Colt but I love Logan deeply solely because of this.

4) BB MC dying: okay NB tried to do something groundbreaking but like it got completely overshadowed by BB MC getting fucking stabbed through her chest because typically your MC will walk away okay from most scenarios but this bitch actually didn’t. Couple that with the fact that I’m romancing Jax so the thing that killed her was his sword, something that has been revealed as being a precious thing and something he’s cherished for a long time as a tool to help him protect the ones he loves? It hit me right in the a ng s t. She pops back up a vampire in the third book, a reveal which comes to us at the end of the second but oh man watching Jax cradle her dying body, knowing he was never going to forgive himself for this happening? It was delicious.

3) ACOR MC turning the crowd on Caesar: okay, stabbing Caesar was fantastic, no one is denying that, but I honestly thought the most impactful and most fucking insane moment of ACOR is when MC made the first attempt, got caught, and was able to stir the crowd during the final leg of her trial to the point that she started a literal riot in Rome. The flavor, the power--can you imagine being Julius Caesar and watching a ho string your folks along and convince them that she couldn’t possibly have been guilty of a crime because her pussy is too good for that? Who is gonna win this fight--a certified conqueror of several realms or one bitch with the world’s most fantabulous coochie? The answer may surprise you...

2) TRR MC is pregnant: we got stuck in yeehaw hell for seven weeks...seven weeks of having to act like Bertrand and Savannah were even that important according to the narrative when MC is a whole ass duchess trying to start her family....all the months of seeing Liam talk so enthusiastically about wanting a family with MC, wanting to be a father, and wanting to build a life with her, after all the bullshit they went through and the hurdles they had to jump in order to even get to the point where they could be happily married? And then she called him out to the field and told him that they were having a baby? I cried. I cried so hard.

1) ACOR MC stabbing Cassius in the fucking back: I loved ACOR so much. So much of the political machinations, the scheming, the dancing around language while trying to manipulate powerful patrons into doing your bidding--I had Antony wrapped around one finger and Cassius on the other--string them both along while trying to achieve my own goals but maaaaaaan....Betraying Cassius at the last second in order to protect yourself from reprimand so you can make a clean getaway from Rome was the peak. The epitome of ACOR MC in a nutshell. I fucking loved how absolutely unhinged and manipulative that bitch could be. She literally sat up there and told him all the things he wanted to hear, acted like she cared about who he wanted for Rome, in some cases straight up lied to him about how much she loved him, and then during the moment that mattered most--when they both stabbed Caesar and thrust Rome into chaos--she shed the visage of the beautiful woman he had so deeply fallen in love with and unveiled the poisonous snake she had always been. She used him. He truly and honestly didn’t see it coming until he peeked outside and happened to spy her standing firm at Antony’s side. And the narrative let me do that with the utmost glee.

And that’s it. Go forth. Make your own list. Criticize mine, idc.

#playchoices #choices

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resvlve · 5 years ago

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❛ summer bishil, 31, cisfemale, she/her ❜ was that OPHELIA PRADESH i just saw walking across the quad? the POLITICAL SCIENCE PROFESSOR has been at noru since JANUARY 2018. they have been known to be pretty DRIVEN, but don’t rub them wrong or they can be MANIPULATIVE. i heard that they are BISEXUAL and love BONDAGE + ROUGH SEX. //

n e way, lennie here, back again w this asshole

tw: death and addiction mentions- v brief

basics full name: ophelia danika pradesh birthday: april 11, 1988 (aries) hometown: baltimore, md height: 5′3″ positive traits: driven, charming, poised, intelligent negative traits: manipulative, aggressive, narcissistic, unforgiving moral alignment: lawful neutral

background - raised in maryland by a rich family - her dad was a maryland senator for several terms and this inspired her to go into the political realm for her career - her dad was a corrupt dick and a SUPER hardass type guy who always tried to push ophelia to be her best- like pushed Too Hard, always trying to make her be better and try harder even though she was already pretty kick ass - meanwhile her mom is the sweetest woman in the world - her dad died a few years ago and it fucked her up; like she lowkey looked up to him even though he was The Worst bc she thought he was a good leader and wanted to be like him when she grew up bc he raised her and shaped her to - has a younger sister who has always struggled w addiction and has been in and out of rehab several times, ophelia tries to help her fix her situation but nothing ever really sticks- her sister is super important to her and she barely talks about her bc that’s Too Personal - she is incredibly intelligent and went to princeton and graduated at the top of her class - started working for a senator right out of college, but in 2017, he was busted for being corrupt as fuck- ophelia didn’t care about THAT bc she’s morals? she doesn’t give a fuck about em- but she was out of a job SO - she’s been working as a professor, lying low until she can break back into politics and, like, take over or whatever - she was engaged for awhile a couple of years ago, but she broke it off bc she’s bad_at_love.mp3 idk (prob gonna put this up as a wc, but, uh, if you wanna take it??? bless u)

personality - very VERY manipulative and charming, uses it to get what she wants - kinda (really) two-faced - who is the real ophelia???? yo idk, you may never know (not even sure if ophelia knows who the ~real~ ophelia is) she keeps only a few people in her inner circle and trusts virtually no one - workaholic - thinks she’s the hottest, most important person around - a narcissist? yes - an asshole? also yes - she probably doesn’t have many friends, but the ones she does have she would prob kill for - would 100% kill for her mom and sister - can have a hot temper when Really provoked - a calculating bitch, always watchin, always scheming, always being a Sneaky Bitch - uhhhh she sucks sometimes??? most of the time?? - would not be sorry if she ran over a small animal with her car - thinks that almost constantly wearing bold lipstick is a personality trait - would rather die than be vulnerable in front of ANYONE (someone come make her be vulnerable ig, i like ruining her life) - she’s hot - she knows she’s hot, but it does not make it less true - sexually: she’s a switch- VERY into fighting for power in the bedroom- 50/50 as far as gender preference goes, lowkey had daddy issues she will never ever address so lowkey has a daddy kink, likes choking- bunch of other stuff idk, she likes it rough sO !

possible connections - exes: she doesn’t date people for long and is not a good gf, but i ~love~ me some messy exes plots so come thru !! - ex-fiancée: plz - hookups: i mean… yeah- students, fellow staff, whateVER - enemies w benefits: uhhh bc there’s a thin line between love and hate and hate sex is uhhh ?? hot - confidant: someone she’s actually close to, confides in on occasion, she actually mostly trusts them (mostly) (kinda imagined this conn as a woman??? but idc, can work with WHOEVER) - ~friends~: people she likes enough to keep around and doesn’t strongly dislike - rivals/enemies: uhhhh idk, but has got PLENTY of rivals n enemies - an Almost: look… listen… ophelia is so unemotional and hard to crack and this would just be so??? fun??? and painful and i love putting my characters through pain SO basically just someone o was in love with but was like !!!! uhhh i can’t be in love, everything else is too important and left them and part of her wishes she had just STAYED with them (could be an ex, could be more of a friend but there were obvious feelings between them- bonus points if this happened during her engagement and factored into her breaking it off) - literally???? anything??? i’m pretty much down for anything tbh, the messier the better

uhhh SO, you know the drill- hit the heart or come find me if ya wanna ~plot~! plz love us, ok BYE!

#noru.intro #this got... so long #im so sry #( cause she's a goddess ; ophelia )

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dachi-chan25 · 6 years ago

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So I clearly played myself *sigh* some of this books weren't what I expected and I still need to read a shit ton of sequels to series i fricken loved.

1.-Marked (House of Night #1) by PC Cast /Kirstin White

🌟🌟

So clearly I knew this book was gonna be silly and stuff, like it got me cringing so hard at all those 'not like the other girls' super speshul girl and it has low key a lot of cultural appropiation, so yeah, still was a really quick read and what the heck I'll try the next one to see if it gets better than this. I mean there has to be a reason why someone wants to turn this into a tv series right??

2.-Día de Muertos: Antología del cuento mexicano de V.A

🌟🌟🌟

Realmente siento que es una antología muy inconexa, el título y la portada indican claramente una relación directa entre los relatos y el día de Muertos, sin embargo el espíritu de la festividad solo es capturado en un puñado de historias que es lo que me hizo dar tres estrellas al libro, porque aunque el resto de los cuentos no son malos siento que entraron a la antología con calzador pues no tenían nada que ver con día de muertos .

3.- Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

🌟🌟🌟

Ok, I did not disliked it, the book manages to be very atmospheric and really create some plausibility among all the whimsy but the characters were never really developed much?? And some were tragically underused (the Aunts) I just think the movie made the story/characters much better.

4.- Society of Wishes (Quartet of Wishes #1) by Elise Kova

🌟🌟

I had totally forgot I owned this book (I bought it cuz I knew the MC was a latina girl and yah) and well it is what it is, just a mess filled with hunky ass time wizards or some shit like that with barely any plot, development or much of anything really, definitely not reading the next ones.

5.-Hemlock Grove by Brian McGreevy

🌟🌟

I am heart broken, I wanted to like this book so badly, but it was all over the place imho, the narrative style was plain out confusing at times (like it threw me back to that time when I was a pretentious ass 15 yo trying to read Ulysses by James Joyce) and don't get me wrong I like writers who spice things up with the flow of their sentences like Chuck Palahniuk but I just couldn't get into it, I feel the series managed to tell this story in a much more organized and in depth fashion.

6.- Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy #1) by Richelle Mead

🌟🌟🌟

I expected nothing of this, and I actually kinda enjoyed it because I think the book it's true to itself, it sets a tone from the beginning and doesn't deviate from it . Is it predictable? As fuck Is it full of every single trope under the sun? YUP, but it never pretends otherwise and it's fine (also I am a thot for vampires so idc) I will continue this series.

7.-Battle Royale by Koshun Takami

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I LOVED it, I had watched the movie, but oh boy it doesn't build the characters the way the book does. It's brutal, dynamic full of optimism even in such a hopless horrific situation. The only thing that kinda had me in stiches was the fact that nearly every damn female character wanted to get it on with Shuuya.

8.- Tale of the Body Thief (Vampire Chronicles #4) by Anne Rice

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is my frist re-read of this book and damn, Lestat is truly a himbo, he just makes the most idiotic desisions and then is upset because they come to bite him in the ass but he is also kinda charming so what the hell?? David, poor summer child he really thought Lestat would respect his desision 😂😂 this is a real fun book (I mean the whole ass discussion about Faust is as fake deep as u can get) and it really drives home how much of a hot mess is Lestat. (Also Louis u bitch!!! How dare u betray him it's not like u had tried to kill him before multiple times xD honestly Lestat's logic)

9.-The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I adored this, the atmosphere Neil created in this book is absolutely beautiful, every detail and character Bod meets in the cementary adds so much to a rather simple story, the world building, the sense of magical realism it's just something I always appreciate in Neil's books, this really has become one of my faves and I will try and re-read this very soon.

10.-Dracul by Dacre Srocker

🌟🌟🌟🌟

I was on the fence about this one, like Dracula is one of my all time favorite books, and when I found out his great grand nephew was writing a precuel of Bram's most famous work I felt it was an easy money-grab scheme but then I heard a lot of positive reviews and people started talking how this book gives a back story to one of Dracula's brides and that it was based on some notes Bram left behind I decided to try it, and I don't regret it. I mean it wasn't what I expected, the book is more historical fiction and Dacre tries perharps a little too hard to emulate Bram's writing style/structure but the plot really managed to trap me and it was quite an intresting story.

11.-Bone Music by Christopher Rice

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is the frist book I read from him (like even tho I like her books a lot i don't fucks with Anne Rice cuz she is awful to anyone who critisizes her books or tries to write fanfic of em so yeah I wasn't so keen in reading her son's work) but it was a very pleasant surprise, those twist he makes at the very beginning of the book left me gaping like a fish, I was emotionally involved with the characters and I definitely look forward to read more books on the Burning Girl series.

12.- Final Girls - Riley Sager

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Slashers are some of my favorite things in the world, and this book gets a lot of the tropes/atmosphere right and still, manages to be original and deconstruct them, turn the reader on his expectations and deliver a great ending, will definitely continue with the series.

13- Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Joe Goldberg is a punk ass bitch and I hope the ending stays as it was, like how lucky is this bastard, and at one point I was like, no way are all this people around him so dumb likeeeeeee he is such an unreliable narrator that idk if the things he say are really happening or all is part of his self important delusional mind, I really liked this sequel even if Joe barely struggled until the end (he was living the Life u guys) it was a fun read.

14- The Mysterious Affair at Styles by Agatha Christie

🌟🌟🌟🌟

This is Hercule Poirot's frist book, and he is so different from the books I have read, but still brilliant and with his quirks, it really captured me, I always enjoy a good murder mystery and Agatha Christie always delivers.

15.- The Girl who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

King is back in my good graces, this book is terrifying it really takes u along Trisha's emotional journey, all the desperation, the defeat,the hope, really is such a complex beautiful emotional ride of this amazingly brave little girl, and damn Stephen u can write female character's well y u wrote that mess in Bag of Bones like whyyy dude? ?? I simply loved this one, made me cry so much.

16.-#Murdertrending by Gretchen McNeil

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

This was such a fun dynamic read, I finished it in one sitting. The whole concept of Alcatraz 2.0 was pretty darn great, the painiacs, ahhh so good, I wished the rest of the characters apart from Dee were more developed but I know it would have given the plot twist away if they had so it's fine, I am really looking forward to reading Murderfunding.

That was it, my reads were either meh or omgggg I loved it!!! I hope this months my reads are all good.

#november wrap up #november 2019 #booklr #dachi reads stuff #dachi rambles

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rehamokani · 8 years ago

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&&. is that ( Naomi Scott )?? no, it’s just ( Reha Elizabeth Mokani ). she is a (Princess ) of ( England ). she is ( Twenty-Three ) years old and her birthday is the ( 26th ) of ( December ) which makes her a ( Capricorn ). she is (determined & stoic ) and ( analytical & pragmatic ) but, unfortunately, also ( greedy & scheming ). those traits just make her a ( Ravenclaw ) and in scientific terms an ( INTJ ). she is a ( Lesbian ) and the plaza’s ( thespian ). her theme song is ( Wild Things ) by ( Alessia Cara ). her interests include ( history & art ). she practices ( English Protestantism ) and is a supporter of the ( Labour Party ). her quirk is ( writing reminders all over her arms ) and her favorite quote is ( We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced. ) by ( Malala Yousafzai ) because ( it reminds her she has the power, not others ). last but not least she ( doesn’t ) believe in true love.

I lasted about a week before I made a sad lesbian. I’m proud tbh.

AnywAYS this is Reha. She’s a bae. And low-key hasn’t slept since she was like 12 - give her a hug. (this got long sorry)

She’s one of the princesses of England and she’ll do anything to be the queen someday.

Why isn’t she crown princess you ask? Cause she’s a bastard of the current King.

Her dad lost his wife very early into their marriage, with no heirs yet and heartbroken never married anyone else.

That’s the part of the story everyone always focus on anyway.

It doesn’t matter he then went on to father a fuck ton of kids.

actually about 5 tho

All from different mothers and with different knowledge of their royal blood.

Reha’s mom, when she found out she was pregnant freaked the fuck out and gave her up for adoption.

She considered aborting but at the same time that was a possible heir to the throne of England right there in her belly.

She tried to contact the King about it but it’s not like it’s easy to send a letter to the King of England saying you’re having his kid and having him get the letter much less believe it

So she gave Reha up for adoption with a hand written letter for her to open when she was 18.

But Reha was never actually adopted and lived in an orphanage until she was 12.

She knew of the letter and had open it for the first time when she was 8 because fuck everyone it was the one thing she had of her mom.

In it her mom told her she was named after her two grandmothers and that her dad was King. In it was a picture of her mom and dad.

Literally, no one believed her obviously.

But she started to write to the palace like every day? She would even walk all the way there to leave it herself when she didn’t have money to send it.

Didn’t work who knew?

But when she was twelve- on a trip, the king made to the orphanage she tried her chance and he laughed at her cause “yeah, of course, you’re my daughter sweetheart all English people are like my kids.”

It took a while to convince him but the picture gave him enough doubt he had a paternity test done - all on the down-low.

And look she was his daughter!

Her life made a complete U-turn at that point- obviously.

She moved to the palace and lived side by side with her half-brother, who had been with their father since he was a baby because even though his parents weren’t married they had been together at the time of his birth.

Her story was this all thing in the news - the Long-Lost Princess and a bunch of sob-stories from everyone in the palace about how happy they were she’d been found.

The country had a blast.

Around that time and over the next few years 3 more bastard kids of the king showed up. At that point, it was just getting awkward.

The King’s popularity was at an all time low and no one was really sure who would succeed him in the throne.

The oldest? The one raised by him? The oldest male?

Reha was neither.

but she had a good enough relationship with her father to convince him that they should all have a chance to get the crown- and so they do.

They’re all walking on eggshells until the decision is met on who is the heir.

That’s why Reha jumped on the opportunity to get married to a princess- strong ties to another country would help her chances.

It’s also why she plays at being everyone’s friend.

Not that she won’t lie and cheat to make her way to the top, stabbing as many people in the back as she needs to to get what she wants.

But she won’t do it to your face- she’s all smiles and kind words most of the time.

But she also wont do it just for sport? It’s like if I have to I’ma do it but other than that it’s all chill.

If you’d like to play one of her many siblings let me know cause like - pls.

There’s a list of them here. (names, fcs, ect can be changed tbh idc)

I would also very much love to plot with Reha and have a couple WC here but I’m pretty much up to anything so let me know! or like this and i’ll contact you.

#hshqintro #//hopefully it will show up in the tags at some point.#I'm going to bed but i'll respond/message people tomorrow

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