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do-you-have-a-flag · 5 hours ago

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i'm just gonna call it that we need to practice mindful tech usage and security and i don't mean screentime tracking apps and vpns or whatever i mean starting from early childhood and going into adult wellbeing culture to encourage tactile hobbies and long-form work and the understanding of online devices as commodifying the user with spyware

i'm talking throwback word processors with the same ergonomics as regular smart devices for general educational work and dedicated subjects for working with digital technologies so you have theory in practice and then applying that theory in a contemporary work context. that's where you learn applications, digital safety, and how to implement the generative tools. separately. once you've already developed the critical analysis and expressive skills first.

i have been basically addicted to the internet since i was 13, i've had ups and downs with it, but i've always had a little bit of over caution when it comes to information and identity online. i overshare what i chose to but i think the break down of privacy as a norm when it comes to personal data tracking is genuinely awful.

i like algorithms in some places but i do not think this super-customisation is worth this panopticon of tech.

have you heard about how phone locations can still be triangulated when the phone is off? this is incidentally why if you are gong to protests and you think you are in danger it might be best to leave it at home. but generally if you want to avoid audio and video being used to build a marketing profile you can just switch it off and pop it in a bag or the next room. but with fb trying to make voice command smart glasses a thing (after snapchat and google both failed to sustain the same product) it bears caution that so called wearable tech such as glasses, pendants, watches, earbuds, ect.... even outside of smart cars there's the risk of passive listening for user marketing profiles. we already have location based advertising, ads that track your useage to predict your menstrual cycle or life events, public ads that react to nearby phones

i am going off on this tangent to say that i am not naïve to the fact that we already have to constantly dig into 'dark patterns' of settings to opt out of surveillance and commodification. i'm aware that the easiest path is to do nothing and use the shortcut machines even when they don't actually help or save much time or effort beyond selling you tools that already exist with a new price tag. i'm aware that the plagiarism software with no idea what it's talking about and runs on resource wasting pollution and underpaid remote human labour that also gets slapped in every function role despite basically being fancy autofil and pixel pulp not only has all of those issues but the lay person is either unaware or does not care and companies only care that it is a new way to pretend they're innovating. i know all this just like i know that mass automation is just exploitation unless it is balanced with social structures for all that mean emancipation from the need for labour.

but while i think all tech can be used for good, facilitating human connection across physical distance, carefully trained data analysis on a rapid large scale, removing the tedium of technical drudgery where needed, just providing light entertainment. but we have gotta be better about legislating, moderating, and use culture.

use culture goes hand in hand with convenience. it's why vinyl records are still trendy, not only are they good at what they do, but there is enough cool factor that the inconvenience becomes a feature. CDs are also convenient still! but CDs do not have the cool factor so they get wiped out by the convenience of streaming. playlists in streaming have a cool factor that radio does not despite radio still being convenient. and remember no matter how much streaming claims you can pay to opt out of ads that's usually something that you get payment tiered out of eventually so the convenience facilitated by accessibility is debatable the longer time passes.

looping back to my original point, if we can encourage an understanding of digital privacy as something you shouldn't be complacent about, that you shouldn't have to pay for tools to get out of the spotlight, that it is immensely embarrassing to be too into exploitation by tech companies and make that the problem of everyone around you. user control should be synonymous with convenience. customisability/personalisation through individual control rather than passive scraping. you can still commodify decorative tech.

we gotta make slop and babying algorithm brained tech usage cringe. people don't care to hear that it's immoral so just make them feel uncool at this point. because it is embarrassing that you have the universe of resources at your fingertips and you're too scared to do anything with it other than beg it to put words in your mouth. who cares if you're chronically online or too busy irl to learn a new skill. you are like a little bird pecking at it's own reflection, that's sad. try saying something mediocre and honest. we gotta stop tap dancing into technofeudalism just because we're too complacent to actually talk to each-other.

#ranting again #sorry i've been a bit of a doomer lately i simply know too many things about tech trends against my will

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nicki0kaye · 2 days ago

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giving the fandom an official map is playing with fucking fire, but I'm honestly enamored with it. So much so that I'm really hoping fans start creating journey charts, showing the progression of the battles in the Clone War and, more importantly, the movements of the Spectres during Rebels.

Like Bahryn is only one example but it really did surprise me just how far they went to get what Kallus baited them with on that abandoned station over Geonosis. Lira San is even further.

And like, yeah, I highly doubt they had much consideration for distance or even had a concrete idea of where everything was while Rebels was in production. I'm probably wrong about that, this is just genuinely the first time I've seen any map of the universe and I've been scrubbing through Pinterest for years looking for SW refs at this point. The implication that lack has left me with is that distance is not A Big Deal.

but it becomes a big deal once we can visualize that distance, and remember that the Spectres are broke as hell and at times have to turn off literally everything but life support to stretch their resources as far as they can go. That knowledge paired with the absolute roadtrip they have to make down to Kallus' honeypot, it feels like these two things should be at odds. Like goodness, maybe they made a ~mistake~

I'm being sarcastic. I'd much rather take this new information and find creative ways to fold it into what we already understand about the characters, their motivations and their opposition.

The Empire is massive and seemingly invulnerable; it makes sense that the holes in their armor would be few and far between, and that the Rebellion isn't in a position to be choosey about where they make their strikes.

To stay out of the Empire's hands, the Spectres had to be unpredictable, more so as the series goes on, so it makes sense that they would go out of their way to strike where they're least expected.

Hera's convictions are iron clad, more so if she's willing to go literally anywhere Ahsoka points her to. It's Hera's intellect, her understanding of the universe and the capabilities of her crew and ship, that allows her to stretch their meager resources thin enough to make these missions happen, regardless of where they're at in the Universe.

all this is to say I don't think it's a bug that the Spectres do shit all over, I think it's a very neat feature and I am very hopeful some superfan out there uses this new map to create a visualization of just how persistent the Spectres are in seeing to the Empire's downfall.

#hera #star wars #star wars rebels #swr #hera syndulla #nik v sw

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abarbaricyalp · 13 hours ago

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From that list “I got you a present” Sambucky. Please?

Not me having so many ideas about this I kind of threw them all together and still didn't cover everything

Like The Birds Do

It started off with fast food. Sam was working late on some strategy planning, which was mostly poring over old debriefs and trying to find a connection. Joaquin had long since gone, out for the kind of weekend Sam was getting too old to enjoy. So he wasn't expecting anyone to come through the door just after ten and turn on one of the tall lamps.

"Hey, I brought you a present," Bucky called, appearing around the small half wall that led into his office. He was carrying two large bags of fast food and Sam's stomach growled before the smell even reached him.

"It's late. Where're you coming from?" he asked. He stood, pulled over a chair to the small table and couch on the far side of the wall and took a bag from Bucky.

"Threatening people is scarier in the dark," Bucky said with a shrug. "No, actually, I was working too. My assistant texted me and told me to stop uploading stuff to the cloud folders. She gets an email when I do, I guess."

Sam snorted and sorted out fries and chicken and burgers. "Look at you, holding down an office job."

"Yeah and what's this place?" Bucky teased back, swapping one of the burgers in front of Sam for one with a 'spicy' customization sticker on the front of it.

"Hey, I still get to jump out of planes, if I want to," Sam defended with a laugh. "If you're still in the working mood, I could use your help with something."

"Eat first, Wilson," Bucky ordered around a mouthful of fries. "Then we can talk about getting in the mood."

Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed the spicy burger.

. . .

The next time, Sam was monitoring bugs from a temporary safe house when he was interrupted.

"Got you a present!" Bucky greeted again. Then, "Stop kicking me."

Sam pulled the headphones off and turned around in time to see Bucky dragging one of the Serpents into the room. The man had his hands tied behind him, but his feet were loose and he was, in fact, kicking Bucky's ankle with every step.

"Are you following me?" Sam asked skeptically.

The Serpent scowled, but shook his head. "Not you," Sam corrected. "Him."

"Me?" Bucky asked, far overshooting innocent. "I've got better things to do with my time. I just happened to be in the area. I knew you were looking for some of these assholes. Sorry, I don't remember your name."

"Copperhead," the man hissed, like he'd already said it a few times.

Bucky grimaced. "I don't like snakes."

"You've mentioned." Copperhead turned his attention back to Sam. "I'm not working with Sidewinder no more."

"That's not what your comings and goings suggest."

"I ain't," the man insisted venomously. "I'm working with a new crew. We're..." He looked around conspiratorially. "We're going after Sidewinder too."

"Do they usually just give you their plans?" Bucky asked Sam.

"I'm telling you, Buck, if you talked things out, you'd avoid a lot of black eyes," Sam said. "But I still don't believe you. You've been slithering back to the den while you're trying to depose him?"

"Cute," Bucky complimented. "How long have you been waiting to use that one."

Honestly, long enough. It was starting to annoy Joaquin. Sam had to get it out of his system now. "Tell me more. What did Sidewinder do?"

. . .

"I bought a present," Bucky told him, coming into Sam's bedroom without knocking.

"What? Why?" Sam asked, shifting how he was kneeling on the other side of the bath tub.

"Because you've been all grouchy and upset about getting hurt," Bucky answered.

Sam looked away from the ice bath he was holding his arms in, over his shoulder towards the door. "Is it a topical anti-venom?" he asked drily.

"Better. It's homeopathic."

"Bucky, you know I don't--"

"If he's sick, am I gonna get sick?" another voice asked.

Oh. That kind of homeopathic remedy. Sam stood up from beside the tub and patted his swollen arms dry gently.

"Nah, he's not sick like contagious sick. He got a little bit poisoned."

"That's why you should be careful running around barefoot outside," Sam added as he came into the bedroom.

Cass and AJ both beamed at him and ran over for hugs. For the first time in four days, he didn't mind the additional pressure on his arms. This was much better than bandages and shots and trying to go about daily life.

"What happened?" Cass asked. "Did you get bitten by something? Here?"

"Was it a poison frog? Did it jump on you?" AJ continued.

"How come you didn't have your Cap suit on?"

"Yeah, or the shield? Was it a snake?"

"Did you know it was poisonous?"

"Someone had poison tipped darts," Sam hushed quickly. He sat down on the edge of his bed. AJ climbed up next to him and Cass remained standing, but leaned against the baseboard of it, leaning closer. "But, yeah, it was snake poison."

AJ gasped and leaned on Sam's shoulder as he jumped in excitement. "Like in the movie!"

"Do you feel weird? Did you feel weird? What was it like?" Cass asked. He was peering at Sam's face, which was probably better than staring at his bruised arms.

"Are you writing a book about it?" Sam shot back, amused.

"Maybe! I could!"

"Was Bucky there?" AJ asked. This was mostly directed towards Bucky. "Did you get bitten?"

"I wasn't bitten," Sam repeated.

"I wasn't there," Bucky answered. He was leaning against the dresser, watching everything unfold with amusement. "Do you think I could've stopped it?"

The boys thoughts about it, then Cass said, "Probably not. Uncle Sam's smart all by himself."

Bucky clutched at his chest. "Ouch, kid."

"Well, maybe!" AJ added. "If they'd shot you with the dart instead."

"Ouch-er," he added.

"Are you gonna get snake powers now?" AJ asked, turning back to Sam.

"No," Sam said firmly. "And that's why you two should be careful outside. You don't get powers from snakes, alright? Just look out for them and leave them alone."

"Okay, but what if--" Cass bargained.

. . .

"Okay, so, I got you a present," Bucky said, sounding like he was defending himself.

Sam looked up from the side fastens of his suit. "What?" he asked. "Now?"

Bucky was already dressed, but, to be fair, this was how he dressed at least thirty percent of the time anyway. He looked fidgety and nervous, which was pretty out of character for him right before a fight. He zoned in faster than anyone Sam knew.

"Well, since you keep insisted on wearing the new suit and haven't asked for full sleeves yet, I got these made." He held out dark red wrist gauntlets. They weren't vibranium, Sam could tell, so he hadn't gone to the Wakandans for this. Which, fair, Sam had seen first hand the stink eye Shuri could give for a stupid suggestion during the design process. Still, they were a good material. Body armor grade, and the good stuff, not the market stuff.

"I don't need you getting bitten again," he added. "Your arms are the only things uncovered, and that's right where they aimed last time. I can't..." A muscle jumped in his jaw and he looked away.

"Hey," Sam said softly. He stepped over to Bucky and put a hand against his cheek. "Thanks. I'll wear them, okay? They look good with the blue, huh? You could be a costume designer if the whole superhero thing starts to bore you."

"Or you could just wear the suit I designed," Bucky added.

"It's a stealth mission. I'm wearing a stealth suit," Sam sighed.

"There's no such thing as a stealth Captain America suit. You've got a giant star on your chest."

Sam sighed again, long suffering, but slid the gauntlets on, then held his hands out. "Come on, charming. Help me clasp the necklace."

Bucky didn't say anything, but he was preening in a quiet, self satisfied way. He did up the fastens quickly, like he'd been practicing, then pulled the edge of Sam's sleeve down over the top. It was a perfect fit. Sam shouldn't have expected anything less.

He turned to look at himself in the reflection of a glass wall, curling his arms in front of himself, then stretching his fingers, swinging his arms, and throwing slow moving punches. "These look really good," he conceded, throwing a grin over at Bucky. "Thanks, man."

"Yeah, sure, of course," Bucky agreed, a blush dusting across his cheeks. "Try not to get poisoned this time."

. . .

Sam still wasn't used to the adrenaline crash. In his head, he was still twenty-two and invincible. Back then, a win meant days of partying. Unconsciousness was a far flung thing.

But his body continually reminded him he wasn't twenty-two. Hell, it had been reminding him of that since he was twenty-seven, if they got down to it.

He hadn't been able to eat more than half a sandwich one of the medical teams had handed him after putting neat little bandages around his eye. He'd barely been able to shower and every temperature was too much. Too hot on his sweat soaked skin. Too cool in the frosty AC of the hotel room. Too weak in between. Crashing into the bed had been the only thing he'd done well since the media debrief.

So he wasn't really surprised when there was a knock on his door approximately ten seconds later. Timid and too well timed, like the person on the other side knew he'd just finished falling apart.

He shoved himself up again, didn't bother with finding a shirt or appropriate pants because he knew who would be on the other side of the door, and opened the door.

Bucky had already taken off the bandages that had been put on his face and arms. He argued about it every time they wrangled him near a medic, but the medics were pretty used to him and they sealed up and covered his wounds while he told them he didn't need them to. He also looked like he'd already showered. His wet hair was held back by a small clip that Sam knew he pretended to hate but kind of loved.

As usual, it took him a few moments to react to seeing Sam. He always had to stare for a few seconds. Let his eyes track down Sam's body until he was sure Sam was still in the same amount of pieces he'd left him in.

"What's up?" Sam asked, to draw Bucky's gaze away from the bruise on his chest from someone's mechanical tail.

Bucky dragged his gaze away like it actually weighed something. "Can I stay in here?" he asked sheepishly. "The AC creaks in my--"

"Yeah, yeah," Sam accepted before Bucky could get far into his meandering rabbit hole of excuses. He stepped back and let Bucky take the door. No use telling him which locks to use. He'd use them all. "I almost expected you to have brought something," he added, teasing. "Seems to be the only reason you show up anymore."

"That's not true. I also kidnap your nephews."

"Willing victims that they are," Sam agreed. "You okay?"

"'Course I am," Bucky assured. He sat on the second bed, stiff, kicking his heel against the bottom frame of it. "They gave you a double? They told me if my sheets weren't clean, I could pull out the couch."

Sam laughed in surprise. "Well, I guess being Captain America has its perks sometimes."

"Sometimes," Bucky agreed without any real conviction in his voice. He kept picking at the scrapes on his knuckles that had already scabbed over. Then he stood again and reached for Sam's wrist.

Sam blinked and stood as well. It felt strangely formal for them. Like an old romance movie. Compared to the nights they'd lay on the floor beside each other, or keep up a conversation on the phone while both doing something else, or be poring over intel at separate desks, always talking until they fell asleep finally, standing to talk was weird.

"I did," Bucky said. It sounded like a scratched record. An abrupt stop to something that should've continued. "I mean, I did bring something for you. I just...don't know if I should give it to you."

"If it's snake fangs, I don't want it," Sam defended quickly. "I don't need any trophies."

Bucky rolled his eyes and his shoulders relaxed by about twenty percent. "It's not snake fangs. I've never even heard of people doing that until your friend Darriel asked if I kept any teeth from that gator I wrestled out of the pool."

Sam hummed fondly at the memory. "Then what is it? If it's not important, we can just wait until tomorrow."

"No it's...it's kind of important. To me. I've been meaning to give it to you for a while."

Sam's head ticked to the side a little, stealing a mannerism from the man in front of him because Bucky's eyes had suddenly darted away and Sam wanted to be in his eyeline. "It doesn't have to do with tonight?"

"Well, no. Not really," Bucky admitted. "It's not that." Sam realized Bucky was still holding onto his wrist because now he was holding Sam's hand and he was shaking. Just a little bit. Barely perceptible. But Sam knew Bucky well enough to notice something like that.

"Buck," he started to say, putting his hand over Bucky's to stop the shivering a little.

Then Bucky kissed him, fast and unsure, more of a collision than he assumed it was supposed to be. Then he pulled away, just as fast, looking for all the world like a little kid.

"Oh," Sam breathed.

"Oh?" Bucky repeated, strangled.

"That's what you were waiting on? Why?"

"Why?" he repeated again.

And they'd get nowhere if all he did was keep copying Sam. So Sam copied him instead, holding Bucky's face this time so they didn't break each other's noses, and kissed him softly, but firmly. "Why would you wait?" Sam clarified when Bucky started to make little needy sounds against his mouth.

"Uh...I don't know? I had other things to give you first."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "You're kind of an idiot," he said. "Come give it to me again," he suggested.

Bucky smiled, like raincloud parting around the sun, and gave Sam another kiss. A few more actually. It was a good present.

. . .

Hello, did you know that Kingfishers, great grey shrikes, and jays will bring food to prospective partners during courtship rituals? That penguins and albatrosses give pebbles as gifts? That several birds partake in allopreening? That crows bring interesting objects to people who take care of them, and cedar waxwings will do so with each other? That building nest structures, or exchanging nest materials, will sometimes come before mating? I just think it's interesting.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #i answer things #writing #sambucky fanfic

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pushspacetocontinue · 2 days ago

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"Yeah. I said that to the principal herself," Travis said, with a small shrug, "I said some kids get bullied enough by an adult at home, and why was it right for an adult to bully them in school too? Not that other kids doing it is okay, but they didn't take that as seriously."

He laughed a little bit.

"He certainly didn't like it when I got a bit too close to him, and I did notice he seemed a bit wary when someone else was holding a mop," Travis said, "But it was a lesson he needed to learn; he can't just picking on people just because he thinks they're weaker."

He smiled.

"I appreciate that. I suppose that is a fair point," Travis said, "Still, she dresses fabulously. Oh the best news was when I heard Custard was going to be all right. I was still in prison at the time, but after he stood up for a trans friend of his, these three absolute pieces of trash calling themselves men decided they wanted revenge. So they spiked his drink and beat the absolute hell out of him while he was feeling all sick and weak. They would have killed him if they hadn't been stopped. He was unconscious for two days, and the best news I got was knowing he was awake and was going to be fine. I don't know if you knew him at that point, it was around six years ago now."

There was a softness in his eyes then.

"We like her too," Travis said, "So that means a lot to hear. I know I've not known her all that long, but from what I've seen, she's an amazing lady and a wonderful mom."

But then he grinned again at hearing that.

"Knight Rider. I should watch that again when I get a chance to. That could be some fun," Travis said, "And that sure is a classic. Nice one, Willow."

Russell watched in some fascination as the fog moved around them. It was almost like it knew exactly who was in charge here.

"Heh, that is, that is true as well," Russell said, "Or, or the buzzing might have, might have driven me a, a bit batty."

"It was good for reading," Antonio agreed, "And it was also good for practising my monologues and evil laughing. And even coming up with some ideas with how we were going to face Five if he was going to become more a threat."

And he certainly had.

"It was comfortable for me at least," Antonio said, "Five stars for the stay I had."

Bill only managed a sheepish smile back at Veronica.

"Sure am," Bill agreed, "And I definitely deserve this."

That was all he had time to say before he was suddenly on his way, the last word stretching out as he completely lost his footing. Leofric watched him go.

"I doubt he will learn," Leofric just said, "But perhaps he will remember this."

It seemed that the message had been loud and clear, despite Leofric's subtly, in that Russell, Antonio and even Simon decided to place their attention on the gold pile as well.

"It's still amazing to see that you can do it," Leofric said. Antonio moved to pick up one of the coins, inspecting it, "But perhaps there will be a use for it sometime."

But it seemed as quickly as Rook had gone to feed, she was already done.

"Hope, hope that, that helped," Russell said, "Are, are you, you feeling any, any better?"

The least he could do was ask.

"Then they wonder why kids hate schools." Erica grumbled, "I bet they still tell the story of what you did! That guy must be scared of mops too now."

It still wasn't as satisfying as the guy getting skewered or having the mop broken over his head, but it was enough to get the point across.

"You hardly have the need to go unnoticed, Travis. One look at you is enough to discourage many from trying their luck." Willow pointed, "Erica was raised to hunt. It's only natural for her to be conspicuous despite her wardrobe."

"Yeah, sometimes I scare people by accident." Erica confirmed. Perhaps that choice of words was by accident as well. "If those were the second and third, what was the best news you got?"

"The afterlife is extensive. However, she most likely wouldn't mind making an attempt." Willow reassured, "Mother likes you as well as your brothers. That means her usual attentions will be extended to you all as well."

The need for closure would move the ghost lady most of all. Veronica would have agreed in a heartbeat, if only she still had a heart.

Willow considered her options, before tapping into the radio again. The car lacked the charm and bite of the real deal, but she hoped Travis was familiar with KITT. She hated wasting a good reference.

"Come on, Travis! You can't leave me hanging like this. I'm a marvelous car, but I can't do all the heavy lifting myself. That's your specialty."

Erica's ears perked up. "I know that voice! It's that talking car who hung out with that guy from SpongeBob!"

Willow smiled as she tossed her hair back, "I felt like going for a classic this time."

It seemed like these were typical shenanigans between the two of them.

The pocket dimension was very barren, but was far from still. The fog quietly parted as they walked, flowing all around them like an intricate network of streams. It was something Rook found calming in small doses, though her attention was focused elsewhere.

"There's no ugly moquette or buzzing lights either." Rook added, "It can be too quiet at times. Not that hearing distant noises would be any better. I guess it's good for reading, Antonio can probably attest to that. Or not– I'm still waiting for your review of your stay in my liminal closet."

It seemed like a nice way to divert the attention away from some rather unpleasant memories. That wasn't the time or place to start that argument and most of all, she didn't think Lucien should have been present to provide his opinion on the matter. The fae could be awfully unhelpful at times.

Though Bill was being just as helpful, in his own way. Veronica hadn't meant to follow up on her threat, but now she simply had to.

"Too many underestimate the importance of sound values when parenting." Veronica paused, her gaze trailing over at the inevitable duck comment, "You're simply hopeless."

And about to take a ride in the hard to discern void slide. Rook wasn't the only one able to mess with gravity there. Bill could take a ride and think about the consequences of his own actions.

Lucien was simply glad he wasn't the one falling into oblivion. He would simply turn the other way and let Rook have her moment of privacy so she could replenish her magic battery.

"Oh, I see you started synthesizing gold." he told Veronica.

"It's an old family recipe." Veronica replied, "It's a shame we can only use it sparingly these days."

Rook could do nothing but stand for a moment to watch the way everybody was ready to give her some space. It meant more than she was willing to admit. Then again, she never got too sentimental when her marks whenever she started feeling drained.

Rook silently turned and took a few steps away from the group, before there was a shift in the pocket to reveal one of the few monsters she had the time to catch lately. It looked like a hybrid between some kind of reptile and a rodent with a mantis-like head. It didn't really matter what it was or where it came from. She had found it trying to eat some poor schmuck and it had almost slashed her wing off with its claws. Now it was going to do something useful for a change.

"Imagine if Five found you instead." She would probably be starving. There was another shift as a bright light engulfed the monster, before it vanished into a swirly cloud of energy that was absorbed by her marks.

Rook took a moment to simply breathe, before turning back. "I… I'm done."

She didn't want to drag this on to avoid making it more awkward than it was.

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chronosdawn · 1 day ago

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I've been thinking about BG3 a lot the past few days and it's led to an isekai Reader x Ascended Astarion idea that I think would be fun (and might be slightly inspired by a certain chapter of SVSSS).

So we start with Ascended Astarion several months after the end of the game, living it up the palace he's inherited from Cazador, with the other companion characters having gone their separate ways. His evenings are spent among the wealthy and powerful of Baldur's Gate, all of whom are useful pawns but have to be carefully manipulated, as they'd just as soon stab him in the back if they thought it would allow them to climb that little bit higher on the political ladder.

At some point while procuring various treasures and riches to further line the palace's interior and show off his fortune, Astarion ends up in possession of a particular mirror. The mirror is enchanted, said to allow the holder to glimpse their happiest possible self. Astarion uses it, confident that he'll see himself in couple of centuries time, wrapped in finery having become the shadow king of Baldur's Gate after years of careful manoeuvring.

Instead, he sees a version of himself dressed in far simpler clothes than those he wears now, the details rendered in silver paint instead of the fine embroidery he's grown used to over the last couple of months. There are no servants, no simpering lordlings hoping to benefit from his influence, just a life on the road accompanied by a human he can't recall ever seeing before—you.

He's about to toss the damn thing to the side, convinced it must be faulty as there's no possible future where he would give up the opulence that sacrificing 7000 souls has granted him, but something catches his eye. That version of him in the mirror, dressed those cheap rags, strays briefly into the sunlight and burns.

There is only one possible explanation, that the version of himself he’s seeing is not his future, but from another alternative timeline, one where he never completed the ritual.

It’s impossible. How could that miserable existence be any happier than the luxury he enjoys now?

Astarion tosses the mirror to the corner of one of the many empty rooms in the palace, determined to forget it as some sort of joke made in poor taste. It’s easier said than done though, when he meets the eyes of the company he keeps and sees nothing but selfish want. Sex, money, power, it’s written all over their faces; in fake smiles and clinging hands. It’s nothing like the way he’d seen you looking at that pitiful version of himself in the mirror, like he was worth something even when he had nothing to offer.

That cannot be the happiest version of himself. It can’t. What would have been the point of all of this if it was? He did not endure centuries of suffering just to end up with scraps.

In the end, Astarion has an expert on magical relics brought to the palace, determined to prove once and for all that the mirror is a fake so that he can return to enjoying his success as he did before the damn thing fell into his hands. Only, all the so-called expert does is confirm its authenticity, marvelling at how powerful the mirror is and how lucky he is to be in possession of it. He’s entertaining thoughts of having them quietly dispatched along with the mirror when they ask if he’s made use of any of its other abilities.

That catches Astarion’s attention, and he listens as the expert elaborates, explaining that he can use to mirror to view not just the holder’s happiest self in a couple of select preserved scenes but the moments leading up to them as well. After a quick demonstration, Astarion dismisses everyone from the room and uses the magic he’s just been shown to scrutinise the world he’s being shown in the mirror, looking for where the differences between it and the one he remembers begin.

Eventually he finds it, the single change that split his timeline from the one shown in the mirror. The nautiloid crash and the moments after, the ones you most certainly hadn’t been present for in the version of events he��d lived through, but there you are, in the mirror, dressed in some strange style of clothing he doesn’t recognise.

Your subsequent journey to Baldur’s Gate plays out similar enough to how he remembers his own, although there seems to be a certain camaraderie among his old companions under your leadership that was missing in his own adventures with them, where Gale had been the one to take on the burden of making sure none of the motley crew got themselves killed.

Is it you then? Is that all that separates his present from the one he’s being shown? The fact that the person the mirror shows isn’t him can’t be anything to do with the rite of profane ascension, not when it’s gifted him so much. So it has to be you—the piece that whatever power feeds these images believes he’s missing. Well, if that’s the case, it should be simple enough to fix. All he has to do is find you and then there will be truly nothing that the upsetting version of him from the alternate timeline possesses that he does not. The mirror that’s caused him so much grief the past few months will recognise that his version of events has been righted and that he’s finally received everything he’s owed for the years spent under Cazador’s thumb—his best possible future.

When you awake in your room one morning—confused and groggy after having been up far too late the previous evening making progress on your latest BG3 run—you’re more than a little alarmed to see what appears to be a crackling magic portal floating above your bed. You barely have a moment to think about flinging yourself out of the way before you find yourself being sucked through it, pulled by a hand that seems far too strong for how slender and elegant it feels as it grasps your wrist.

And that is how you find yourself standing in a darkened chamber, with a man you recognise from countless hours of gaming and scrolling through Tumblr standing before you. He’s dressed to the nines and wearing an expression that looks a little sinister lit only by flickering candlelight and the still-glowing sigils on the floor. Suffice to say, your day only gets worse from there.

#I just think there's something in realising that you are in the bad timeline #only I think Astarion would refuse to accept that after completing the rite #in this scenario him kidnapping the reader is the equivalent of slapping a bandaid over a stab wound and calling it a day #ascended astarion x reader #astarion x reader #I hate posting in new tags for the first time so I'm just going to yeet this into the void #bg3 x reader

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colrell · 2 days ago

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Will Graham is a Hyena.

Now, please hear me out on this because I've been sitting on for a while. I love those misunderstood animals more than anything... and I love Will Graham with almost the same amount of veracity. So.

Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens | 1922 | dir. F.W. Murnau

Will is ostracised by society.

Hyenas, just like Will, have been rejected by humans and painted as monsters. Seen as simple, stupid scavengers who will do anything for a scrap of meat. I think we've all seen how they have been depicted in media such as The Lion King: dumb, cruel idiots whose only desire is to steal and destroy what other, more royal animals (lions: productive members of society) have built for themselves.

They are regarded as savages with no brains. Only capable of acting if under guidance of a firm fist of a leader and sometimes pitied by others... meanwhile, Hyenas are actually highly intelligent, social predators who hunt in groups and share their kills much more often than they scavenge. They remember faces and can identify friend from foe. They live in clans that get up to hundreds of members: but this fact goes unmentioned in most media.

Will isn't seen as somebody capable of caring for his own life because. Just like hyenas, he is treated as an outsider in his own home. Alan pitied him because she didn't think he could take care of himself. She saw him as a dependant and troubled man because he showed signs of being autistic. Jack treated him as a tool and lead him into destructions because he didn't think Will could make good decisions on his own and in his eyes, if Will were to be left to his own devised— he could stop being useful.

This image of hyenas— of Will — wasn't entirely undeserved, of course. They are, after all, a little bit weird. They look weird, act weird, and refuse to conform even when this refusal leads them to the outskirts of society... even before Will Grahams' encephalitis, he was as different. Everybody knew there was something 'other about him, which is experience shared by many people withing the queer and autistic-spectrum community. Some of us deliberately choose to mask because this is just a more comfortable way of existing day-to-day. We recognise that if we were to act as ourselves: the 'typicals might see it as an affront to themselves.

Others, however, take a different approach. They embrace this otherness as a badge of honour despite what others wish for them. Will Graham is one of those people, and just like Hyenas, he paid the price of it in ostricisment.

They reject judgement.

This brings us to how Hyenas are unapologetically themselves. Of course, an animal cannot be aware of what we as humans see them as, but in a way, they still are, and Will is much the same on that regard: doing his thing and refusing to follow others' ideas of himself.

Will Graham, for all the talk about how lost and confused he was before Hannibal, actually knew about the darkness within himself and he had accepted it.

It is very evident in the first episodes of the series, where he states this over and over again— others aren't allowed to judge. He is what he is. He is rude, he avoids eye contact, and he reconstruction murderers' minds and won't allow others to stand beside him while doing it because he won't take their judging glances for it.

He doesn't want to be psychoanalysed. Hannibal 'won't like him when he's psychoanalysed'. Nobody ever does because he won't let them change him. He doesn't want to change: he just wants to be left alone.

The reason for his fear during the first season wasn't his empathy. Will Graham knew what he was since the very beginning. He knew he's different. He knew of this dark side of himself, which craved to kill before encephalitis came along, and that is what made Hannibal so enamoured with the man.

I know that many people believe Hannibal to be the reason for why Will started to kill or fantasise about it... but he did it since before knowing Hannibal. The reason why Will was so petrified wasn't because he started seeing himself kill. It wasn't the fantasies or Hannibals manipulations that brought him to this state of hysteria because Will knew what he was already.

It was a lack of control, which brought him over the edge. Fear of losing composure, of killing and not knowing it. Not the act of killing itself. Until the sickness came for him, Will perhaps wasn't doing well... but he was content with how things were. He never wanted to be helped or changed. He merely wished to be accepted.

Will is a scavenger... and predator.

Yes, I know that we all see the agent as a fisherman— luring and waiting for prey to come to him, but that is not all that he does.

Hyenas are hunters first, which is another thing that media often gets wrong.

They hunt for their own food, and they do it successfully, collectively, and cruelly. Funfact: most of the videos featuring hyenas hanging around corpses, which are being eaten by lions, are actually hyena kills that were falsely attributed to their enemies.

Much in likeness to how Will fantasises about his own work, hyenas murder with beautiful personality. Their hunts are bloody, wild, and brutal. They are savage in how they kill, chasing the weak and biting them until the inevitable collapse. They don't wait for their victim to die. There is no need to.

But they can scavenge— and scavenge they do. It reminds me of how Will continues to eat Hannibals' own prey even after learning about what it is; How he waits for Chiyoh to kill the prisoner herself and creates art out of the corpse because his curiosity was more important than the act itself. How he was fine with Matthew doing his dirty work for him. How simple act of threatening Hannibal with a gun brings out a vicious smile... he liked the idea of having Hannibal at his mercy, of the psychiatrist not knowing if he will die tonight (being sure he shall).

There is a lot of cruelty within Will Graham, which he never attempted to hide. It was simply overlooked because of his desire for bringing justice that came alongside it.

Hyenas and Will are queer icons.

Not only for how gay his relashionship with Hannibal is.

Our fandom is full of trans and gender nonconforning people. Will is heavily autistic-coded, and transgender people can identify with him for a huge variety of reasons. We see his struggles, the way he suffers with his own identity in comparison to how others see him, and we empathise because it mirrors our own experiences in the world that does not and nefariously refuses to understand us.

Hyenas, as some of you may know (and others are learning about it in this post), spotted hyenas in particular, have been viewed as "double-sexed" since before the times of ancient Greece. The reason for this is that females of the species sport a genitalia that looks indistinguishably like the males'. For ages, humans believed them to be either all bigenital or constantly sex-changing animals. They are plenty of myths and stories about this fact.

They do not change their sex, of course. Either on a whim or based on necessity— female spotted hyenas are born, age and die as females just as the males remain just that for the entirety of their lives... however: this does not change how they were (and still are, for some) perceived.

Reasons for this state are multiple. For one, spotted hyenas are a matriarchal species. They are much bigger, stronger and dominant towards the males. They have thick skulls, powerful jaws and brute bodies. This uniqueness is ensured by a large amount of androgens their bodies produce during growing up: making them stronger... and also causing their (already naturally big) clitorises to grow to sizes comparable to a males'. They will even mount the males (and other females) at times as a form of domination tactic. This intersex-like feature is found in ALL female spotted hyenas.

In recent years (or decades), they have become one of the symbols for the transgender community. Indeed, hyenas are unique and beautiful gender-benders.

And just as members of the queer community, they are hated by the mainstream media— and loved by those who took the time necessary to understand them. Sounds awfully like Will, doesn't it.

Hyenas have been misinterpreted by us for centuries. And so is Will Graham by almost everybody in his community.

They are notoriously called ugly, much like Dolarhyde's claim of Will not being attractive. It is not true: Hyena's beauty is a matter of opinion. They have a distinct, heavy smell which they spread all over their territory, however people who live amongst them often like to remind sceptics that they actually do not smell any worse than their natural enemies: lions, do. They're claimed as ugly because humans don't understand them, because they're demonised and 'obviously', evil can not be beautiful— it must be ugly, stinky, disgusting...

Aren't those all epithet given to the people in the queer community? To Will, in a sense?

Hyenas— and Will, are victims of abuse.

There is a group of African people known as The Hyena Men, the Gadawan Kura. They group travels throughout Nigeria with their half-tamed hyenas and other animals and make them perform various tricks in order to make a living.

Which— here we go to the point:

Hyenas are social animals and just like dogs, can be socialised and trained. They actually make wonderful friends, if you have the resources and enough persistence within you to try. Those people, the Gadawan Kura, recognised it and use it to their gain. There has been a photographer who documented some of this relashionship between those hyenas and their men. It's a very fascinating and interesting tale to read about.

Until you learn that said hyenas weren't brought to this point with love but through abuse.

There is a very painful parallel to how Jack treats Will thought the whole story, and before it, and how the Gadawan Kura train their hyenas through beatings and scraps of food. They are rewarded for good behaviour... barely.

Doing tricks (profiling), brought along traveling (dragged around to crimescenes even when he doesn't want to), given rewards in food (told he's doing good work though said work is breaking him).

Abdullahi Mohammed with Gumu | Ogere-Remo | Nigeria | 2007

... and there is also the fact that Hyenas closest relatives are the meerkat and mongoose.

And we all know Hannibals' stance on that one.

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tookishcombeferre · 5 hours ago

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It's so funny you tagged me in this.

I was literally just cleaning up a section where Roland talks about Elena potentially recognizing Cedric and trying to "tease" him back into the way she remembered him as a child when Tilly had the Amulet. I also think that her having been exposed to that much magic for that long made her more conscious of magic inside others, so as you said @shychick-52, I think she could tell Cedric wasn't all bad.

I also kind of described it in that section as Elena "drawing Cedric back" to Sofia because she knows their destinies are intertwined in the same way hers and Alacazars were.

Additionally, I'm also working out some bugs in a conversation between Cedric and Roland where Cedric describes his desperation to get Sofia out of the Amulet coming from the fact that Elena was **technically** born 3 years before Cedric. Cedric explains that it's hard for him to hold the reality that the record of Elena's birth would state that she was born in the same calendar year as Cordelia, and, yet, to him, she looks like a child and has all the lived experience in this Realm that a sixteen-year old child would have.

For according to what Sofia has/would have told Cedric at that point, Elena was unable to age, and she couldn't have any meaningful lived experiences outside of what she could perceive from the Amulet while she was inside it. Elena lived *FORTY-ONE-GOSH-DARN-YEARS* as a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD in COMPLETE fracking ISOLATION!

I'm sorry.

I can't get over this fact.

Like, as someone who is now thirty, I cannot imagine, and I am APPALLED, by the idea of being SIXTEEN for FORTY-ONE freaking years, under any circumstance. Sixteen/Seventeen was the *worst* year/years of my *ENTIRE* life, so that might be part of it. (Truly, when they say it gets better, it does, in fact, get better kids.) However, still, being sixteen for forty-one years in solitary confinement should be grounds for murder.

How is she even mildly sane?

Needless to say, Cedric wasn't about to let Sofia watch everyone around her age from inside that death-trap only to come into a world where her parents didn't exist, and Amber and James were Roland's age, or quite likely, closer to Baileywick's age. For, if that came to pass, when Sofia was finally removed from the Amulet via ritual, she would still be just twelve.

Cedric couldn't live with that. He wouldn't. So, he didn't.

I think *that* might be what Cedric and Elena end up talking about.

Like the absolute insanity of what Cedric did for Sofia and why he did it.

The whole first episode is about getting to Avalor because there's a ritual that needs to be done in order to get Elena out of the Amulet. The ritual can't just *be done* by anyone anywhere. There are parameters to this ish.

Like, the *amount* and *specificity* of ritual that it took to get Elena out of the Amulet to retake her throne was both highly specific and intense.

I think they ended up trying ... twice?? ... maybe they got it on the first try? I can't remember.

(We haven't watched that one in a while because it's a little hard for Squish to follow, and they're just starting to hit the "things in TV actually scare me because I understand just enough to make them scary" stage of development. So, Shuriki has real fear factor for them.)

But, regardless, Cedric's like: "Nah. Who needs a ritual? I've got a spell for that. I'm just going to pull her out. Why not? Bonus points, I'll bring Prisma with her. Can't be that hard." (I mean ... it was ... but like ... also ...)

So, to me, I feel like that's the thing they discuss. She's, like, on paper as old as Cedric is, or even as old as his sister.

Elena OUGHT to be an adult.

She should have been allowed to grow up with her "peers," who are now old enough to be her parents. The world must feel so woefully confusing.

Thankfully, she still has some ties to the life *before.* She still has some consistency through her sister and grandparents.

But, is it enough?

Or are those lines still blurry?

And, I think she needs someone who would just *listen.* Someone who wouldn't try to put her in her place. Someone who wouldn't tell her that they need her to figure out this, that, or the other thing. Someone who would ask the question and just give her the space to talk about the blurry lines between the past and the present, and the person she might have been, the person they all could have been if it hadn't taken forty-one years for things to line up.

Cedric is good for that.

She knows this.

As put out as he sometimes pretended to be, he always listened. To his crotchety bird, to the twins, to people complaining about him to his face, to Sofia, Cedric always listened.

So, for once, Elena allows herself to be listened to.

And, Cedric just says simply.

"This confirms that I would do it again. Even if it killed me, I would do it again."

And, Elena realizes that she was right to just tease him because he was never really bad. He had curses enough. He just needed someone to mess with him, to remind him of the pranks he pulled, and to help him recall better days.

And, so, they stand there. Together. Better for it.

The two characters from Elena of Avalor I would have loved post-redemption Cedric to meet are Mateo (both royal sorcerers, both have overbearing mothers, both have young girls as their apprentice) and Elena herself (I would think it's obvious why, heehee)!

#cedric the sorcerer #eoa #elena of avalor #sofia the first #sofia the fandom #pip does life

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soundop-central · 1 day ago

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RE: your post about rebranding to megasound-central. I've always thought the best flavour of megop has soundwave squeezed in the middle, and the best flavour of wavewave has megatron off to the side only half in frame. Which is to say megasound too also is only improved by optimus being in there somewhere. I understand you.

AJDBWIXBWIZWH

megasoundop is the only brand of megop that i can tolerate, not even going to lie.

i just think that both of them need a sort of buffer there. soundwave fundamentally understands megatron (imo), and has a knack for coming to deep and accurate conclusions about others. meaning that if he spent enough time with optimus, he'd probably end up liking him.

ive always shipped megasound, like how ive always shipped wavewave and optiratch. there is so many of my favourite dynamic tropes wrapped up in this ship (i.e.: knight/lord, guard dog/leash holder, devotee/idol, etc.). i've always liked ships that have subtle power dynamics wrapped up in a morally grey (or straight up evil) bow. megasound has always been "universe's worst enabler/universe's worst warlord" to me.

i havent always shipped soundop. i actually pavlov'd myself into shipping it just because i came up with a really funny crack au that accidentally sent soundop careening from "silly nonsense" to "oh god, they're actually really good". soundop isn't as cut and dry to me as megasound- there arent a lot of dynamic tropes that actually fit them, so it's hard to quantify in simple terms what their relationship would be like. but its based on agreements, a mutual acknowledgment of the past and the future, respect and understanding. it's a lot of work, but it's rewarding.

i love both megatron and optimus as characters, and i totally recognize why the fandom ships them (ESP the idw and tfo side) (though, side note, i do actually like dpax; my opinion on megop is very nuanced and continuity dependent.) either way, i just dont see it working after literal millions of years of war without someone to act as a sort of mediator. whether that be in a romantic or platonic position, its up to whoever is doing the interpreting; but here's my take.

so we've got this guy (soundwave) who's basically sworn to this other guy (megatron), and the depth of his oath has become pretty muddy to both of them, even teetering on blasphemous if one looks hard enough. their (now ex-) enemy is an all around pretty Okay dude (optimus). while he's definitely tried to destroy everything they've done, they have also tried to do the exact same thing to him. and now that it's all done and over with...

well hey, why not? optimus seems amicable. he's definitely still sympathetic to them; remembering their time together before the degeneration that the war had become. maybe it would be worth it to try and test the waters.

i see it as an enemies to friends to lovers deal on all sides. everyone has to want it, has to work towards it, has to put in that effort.

soundwave is very suspicious of optimus at first, and frustrated that megatron would simply welcome him in so easily. optimus has to earn soundwave's trust. soundwave is protective of megatron- it's hard to undo 4 million years of protecting him from the very person he's now let in their home.

optimus is, understandably, a bit intimidated by how... intense... the vibe is. he feels like he's constantly in hostile territory. but he also knows that he's the odd man out. he resents having to earn his place, but also understands that if they want to have any hope at success, he needs to have soundwave's trust.

megatron is... both delighted and cautious. he's probably the one who's walking the thinnest line. it was his idea, he's the one who kept touch with optimus, he's the one who wanted to at least try. he convinced soundwave, no easy feat, and optimus, only slightly easier. he has the trust of two people that he cares very much about on the line.

it's definitely stressful.

both optimus and megatron are stubborn mechs. megatron has a temper and optimus has a no nonsense attitude. both of them can bicker back and fourth for hours, and to anyone on the outside, it would look like a normal conversation. yet, it is bickering, and despite how much both of them try to deny their own internal feelings, it does leave them a bit more hollow each time.

megatron never wants to apologize; he can only admit fault if he's given irrefutable proof of wrong doing. it's like pulling teeth.

meanwhile optimus is trying so hard to be reasonable, but also firm in his stances. he wishes to help both soundwave and megatron adjust to a life without war- while he can barely do that himself.

but soundwave, at first, would be doing this for megatron. as always, he's the self-sacrificer, the one who will do whatever is asked in order to further their goals. that much hasn't changed, even if the rhetoric has. yet, as time goes on, he slowly begins to enjoy this arrangement. which is something he never expected.

soundwave is adaptable and level headed; able to parse out fact and fiction within a blink of an eye. as he slowly grows more confident in his identity beyond just being megatron's most trusted, he finds himself growing more and more satisfied by finding another ship in the sea that is loving megatron.

anyway, tl;dr - they're gay. painfully so. theyre also traumatized and like not having a good time usually. but they're trying to fix that and make it work. and if that isn't real love idk what is.

#asked and answered #megasoundop #megop #megasound #soundop #i kind of went off the rails here but alas #i am a yapper at heart #transformers #maccadam #maccadams

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borderlineex · 2 days ago

Text

₊˚⊹౨ fault lines ৎ ₊˚⊹

dean winchester x reader (part 2)

read part 1 here

cw and pairing : bittersweet :c 𓏲 earlyseasons!dean x hospitalised!reader 𓏲 fluff 𓏲 themes of injury, car accident, medical trauma, and memory loss

summary : Dean is devastated to realize you have no memory of him or the life you shared, but he hides his heartbreak behind gentle care and unwavering presence. Despite the pain, he finds a bittersweet comfort in reintroducing himself, clinging to the hope that you might fall for him all over again.

a/n : I've been working on this series for a while now, but I'll be slowly posting the parts (there will be a lot lol) and I find the idea of the reader who lost their memory and has to re-kindle with their bf sooo cute so I hope you guys enjoy part 2!! pls don't let it flop T-T (i did try to make this part longer since I wanted to leave part 1 in suspense)

"Who are you?"

His eyes widen momentarily, surprised that you're asking him that, but he quickly reigns in his shock and tries to collect himself. For a few moments, he's left dumbfounded but finds his words quickly.

"You don't... you don't remember me, sweetheart?" Dean asks hesitantly, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of worry and confusion.

"I'm sorry, I- I don't know you."

His heart sinks a little as you speak, and panic starts to rise up in his chest. The way you're looking at him - it's like you have no recollection at all. Dean swallows heavily, trying not to let the fear show.

"You... you seriously don't remember me? At all?!" he manages to say, his hand remaining on your chin.

You shake your head - his eyes never leave your face, searching yours desperately for even a hint of recognition, but he sees none.

"Damnit," he mumbles under his breath, running a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. This was much, much worse than he expected.

He looks at you intensely.

"How far back do you remember, then?"

"I-,"

He notices your hesitation, his green eyes narrowing slightly.

"Go ahead, sweetheart. Tell me." His tone is gentle yet insistent, the need to understand your memory loss driving him. His other hand finds yours, fingers intertwining instinctively. You touch your head in an attempt to examine what was going on, but wince in pain at the feeling.

"Hey, careful." Dean's free hand immediately moves to stop yours from touching the bandaged areas on your head. "You don't want to aggravate that."

He scoots a little closer, concern etched on his features. "How much does it hurt?"

Ignoring his question, you ask, "What happened?" while looking up at him with glassy eyes, which his gaze softens at. Damn he missed you.

His expression turns serious. "You were in a car accident," he answers bluntly. "You got hurt pretty bad."

He leans closer, his fingers still intertwined with yours while he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. "What's the last thing you remember before waking up here?"

"If I'm being completely honest, I don't even remember being put in this place," you proceed to look around the room before locking eyes with Dean once again.

"Nothing?" His eyebrows furrow, and he's unable to hide the disbelief in his voice.

Dean exhales slowly, trying to keep his composure. This was far more serious than he'd thought. No memory whatsoever? He tries a different angle. "Do you remember your name at all, sweetheart?"

"Why do you keep calling me sweetheart?"

Dean blinks, taken aback by the question. He'd been subconsciously calling you that for so long it had become second nature. Aside from the fact that you had been dating for 3 years.

"I..." he starts, then pauses, clearly caught off guard. "Well, I... that's just what I usually call you," he explains awkwardly.

His grip on your hand tightens a bit as the weight of your lack of memory really hits him. He tries to keep it together, for your sake and his.

"Do you... even know who I am?"

You proceed to shake your head with a slight frown on your face, visibly affected by Dean's yearning manner.

He swallows hard, the weight of your words making his chest tight. You didn't remember your name, and worse, you had no idea who he was. It was like he was a complete stranger to you.

This was a nightmare.

"Right," he manages to say after a moment, his voice gruff. "So... let me try something."

Dean's eyes lock on yours intently. "How old are you?"

You open your mouth to speak before closing it again - the way you fall silent is like a punch to his gut. He'd been hoping that you at least would remember something as basic as your age, and the fact that you seem unable to even speak it leaves him sick with worry.

He tries to keep his voice soft, his fingers gently squeezing your hand. "Take your time. Just... try again."

"Twentyy...," your eyebrows furrow, clearly attempting to dig into the back of your mind to look for the answer. Finally, you give up and pretend like nothing happened. "Maybe you should answer my question first- who are you?"

Jesus Christ… The question hits him like a blow to the chest, and he can't help but clench his jaw in helplessness. Not only do you not remember him, but you also don't recall being together. This whole situation was worse than he thought.

"I'm… I'm your boyfriend, sweetheart," Dean finally speaks up, his voice gruff with suppressed emotion.

He notices your eyes soften - the shift in your gaze causes a fluttering feeling in his stomach, hope sparking that maybe, just maybe... you still recognize him in some way.

He leans even closer, his hand still tightly grasping yours. His expression is intense, almost desperate, as he searches your gaze for the smallest hint of recollection.

"Sweetheart...?" he prompts quietly.

"Hm?"

There it was again. That feeling of hope.

The way you tilt your head at him, your gaze softening... it was somewhat familiar to him.

"Say my name..." he says quietly, the words nearly a plea. Your eyebrows proceed to furrow in confusion as your head tilts slightly.

Damn it...

The furrow of your eyebrows only adds to the despair he feels. You were so close to remembering him, to the life you shared together, but it was like trying to grab smoke.

He lets out a frustrated breath, his grip involuntarily tightening a bit on your hand.

"Come on, sweetheart," he continues, his voice low and gruff. "Please just say my name.."

"I'm sorry- I really don't know-,"

Your soft apology only strengthens the growing desperation he feels. He lets out a sigh, his thumb still caressing the back of your hand in a comforting gesture.

"Don't apologize," he murmurs, shaking his head. "Not your fault."

A moment of quiet passes between you as he struggles with the wave of emotions crashing over him. He can feel his shoulders sag slightly as he leans closer, his voice almost a whisper.

"You really don't remember anything about me, huh?"

"I mean- you seem really sweet," you say in a friendly tone and giggle softly, "quite handsome too."

He can't help it; a small, weary smile tugs at the corners of his lips. Even in this messed-up situation, you could still manage to make him feel better with your words.

His thumb continues its gentle caress on the back of your hand, the small action almost becoming a grounding element for him.

"You think I'm handsome?" he asks, a touch of his usual confidence peeking through his weary demeanor.

"Mhmm." a warm, hearty laugh slips out.

That laugh. That laugh...

It was so familiar to him, and the sound of it causes his heart to clench in both affection and sorrow. You were here, physically with him now, yet so far out of reach because of the damn memory loss.

He swallows heavily, his gaze softening. "Damn it..." he mumbles under his breath, his fingers entwining more firmly with yours.

"Hm?"

God, this was so frustrating...

You were right there, talking to him, laughing, but you didn't even remember who he was. It was making him feel both relieved and utterly helpless at the same time.

"Nothing..." he mutters, shaking his head.

His free hand moves up to gently brush a loose strand of hair away from your face, his thumb lingering against your cheek for a moment. His touch is gentle, almost reverent.

And oh that smile. It's a punch to the gut, that simple smile of yours, and for a moment, he finds himself just... looking at you.

His fingers absently continue to brush against your cheek, tracing gently along your jawline.

He can't help but give a weary sigh as he keeps his gaze fixed on you, his voice gruff. "Damn, you have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart..."

"I'd love to get to know you again, you know."

Those words..

They make his heart ache, both with hope and sorrow, all at once. The idea of you wanting to get to know him again, even as a stranger, causes a mix of emotions to swirl within him.

He can't help but chuckle softly, a bittersweet smile on his face.

"Be careful what you wish for," he replies, his thumb still absentmindedly caressing your cheek. "I can be a damn pain in the ass, you know."

"It's like if we met for the first time... again."

A soft huff leaves him as he considers your words. Meeting for the first time... again.

It was both ironic and a little heartbreaking. You were a blank slate, no memory of the time you'd shared together... yet here you were, expressing curiosity and openness towards him.

He leans a little closer, his expression soft. "Yeah... in a way, it sorta is like meetin' for the first time. Again."

"I still need to know your name so…" you stick your hand out for him to shake, "I'm.. you have to help me out here", you say with a soft chuckle.

God, you were going to be the death of him.

The way you stick out your hand, asking for a damn handshake with that sweet laugh, was just... too much.

But he doesn't hesitate. He doesn't complain. He just takes your hand in his, his large, calloused palm enveloping yours completely.

"Your name is Y/N and mine's Dean," he says gruffly, giving your hand a firm yet gentle shake. "Dean Winchester."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Dean."

You were right. This was like meeting for the first time - the way your eyes sparkled, Dean felt like he was fully in a trance. He felt as though butterflies danced around in his stomach - just like on your first date.

It should be ridiculous. Hearing you say "nice to meet you" and knowing that you have absolutely no memory of him whatsoever, and all the time you'd spent together.

But damn it all, he can't help but feel a strange sense of satisfaction from it.

He returns the sentiment, his voice gruff yet sincere. "Pleasure's all mine, sweetheart."

He holds on to your hand for a little longer than necessary, his thumb gently tracing over your knuckles before he reluctantly lets go.

His gaze remains fixed on you, watching for any flicker of recognition in your eyes, even though logically, he knows it's unlikely.

"There," he murmurs, a hint of a small smile on his face. "Now we're properly introduced, I guess."

There's a brief moment of comfortable silence between you two, just the soft sound of your uneven breathing and the steady hum of the medical equipment nearby.

Dean can't help but study your face, his gaze tracing the features he'd come to know so well - the slight furrowing of your brows, the curve of your lips, the way your hair drapes gently on your shoulders... even the small things like a freckle on your cheek he'd kissed a hundred times.

Yet he had to act like he was seeing them for the first time.

His mind is a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions. He's relieved you're alive and awake, but the fact that you've lost all memory of him... it's a constant ache in his chest. He wants to hold you, pull you close, shower you with affection, but what good would that do when you don't even remember him?

creds to @anitalenia for the divider !!

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river13245 · 2 days ago

Text

Mend

Word count: 3.6K

Warnings: Father figure issues, hints at domestic abuse but nothing too graphic.

A/N: I fucking love Joel Miller and love writing for him. Bear with me darlings. (also I picture Logan looking a little like Kurt Cobain.)

-----

When you come home after a trip with your current boyfriend. You weren't expecting your life to change so drastically as it did.

----

After spending 3 months at a beautiful spot in Italy with your boyfriend. You were much more tan than when you left. Texas was a beautiful place but nothing beat the Italy sun and how crisp the air was. Their small towns with all the shops and the water you could go too and spend your days at. It was all so pleasant there, it was like living our your Mamma Mia dreams. Especially when you chose to wear a sundress on your first day there. Nothing bad could happen to you there and you chose to remember it that way. Choosing to block out the bad things that occurred.

When you had finally returned home it was the hot air that first greeted you. It was so different from Italy, in Italy you didn't really sweat, but in Texas that's all you did. Especially on hot days like this. You had been carrying three of your suitcases while your boyfriend Logan was only carrying one of your small bags. Just so he could feel like he was helping you out. Walking inside you were trying to breathe through your nose as you felt your arms growing tired from carrying all the suitcases. You see your father in the living room sitting on his chair that he always sat at as he watched the news. "Hi dad" you say and he barely gave you any sign that he heard you.

The only way you knew he saw you was because he had glanced over to look at Logan before back to the TV in front of him. "come on" Logan says as he passes by you and makes his way into your room where he has been so many times before. When he opens the door he tosses your bag onto your bed while you gently place your suitcases into a corner in your room so you could unpack them at a later time.

Logan was always so careless with your stuff, he would toss your things not really carrying where it landed or how rough he was being with your things. It was one of the many things that both of you argued about. "Could you please not just toss my things. You don't know what could be in that bag" you say as you turn to face him. He sighs as if it was such an inconvenience to him to take care of your things "I've told you so many times that whatever breaks I could just pay for another one. So does it even matter?"

Fuck him and his mommy's money. His mom was loaded with money, more money than she even knew what to do with. So with him being her only child it seemed the extra money went all to him. It was so much that the man in front of you hasn't worked a day in his life. His nails were never dirty and there were no callouses on his palms or fingers. Not saying that's what made you a man but you loved men who got dirty and had rough hands. Rough hands that would touch you ever so softly. You looked at him and said "There could be something inside that's really valuable to me that I don't want broken" pushing him further even though you knew it would only be a bad idea. However you never learned to just let things be.

He looks at you before grabbing your bag. "why do you have to be so fucking annoying. Look I'll show you what all you have in here" he says as he unzips the bag in front of you. In the next moment he is tossing things everywhere in your room. Things like tampons, pads, makeup, chargers etc. It's not until he gets to a box that you freeze and hope he doesn't toss but he does. Just like the others it lands somewhere into the room before you could go to catch it. When he's done he looks at you "look nothing. So stop being a bitch when all I was doing was trying to help you"

You look at the box and get down onto your knees to grab it. Ignoring his words you open it up and see your grandmothers pendant necklace. It was one of the only things she had given you before she died. The pendant is cold against your warm hand and as you run your fingers against its cool metal you see that it's broken. Tears formed in your eyes and you refused to let them fall. Logan has never seen you cry and you wouldn't let it happen now. "get out" you say with a sudden bravery.

There had only been a few times you've ever stood your ground with him and it never seemed to end well. He looks at you with a shocked expression "excuse me?" As he takes a step closer to you, you stand up "its just a stupid necklace. You could get hundreds of those exactly like it. I can just get you another one." He knew it wasn't just a necklace to you, in fact he knew the story behind this necklace and it gutted you that he was just so emotionless.

Looking into his eyes you shake your head "I don't want another one! Nothing could replace this one you asshole!" anger was boiling inside of you and the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself. He walks closer to you until your back was pressed against the cold wall and that's when he does it. His fist goes through the wall and your head turns to the side as you recoil against the wall. Wanting it to swallow you whole.

His hand roughly grabbed your face and jerked your head to look at him. You knew that there would be a bruise or two on your cheek from how rough he was being. It doesn't take much till you are looking at him, he was only an inch taller than you. "Id watch how you speak to me from now on. We wouldn't want any repeats of the other night would we" his words make your stomach drop as he reminds you about what happened a few times while you were in Italy.

Italy that was once beautiful he had tried to taint and ruin for you. You would not let him, that place had been a dream. Next time you would just have to go without him. Fully enjoy the weather and the people. Get to know people that passed by you and interacted with. You loved people in fact you were a really outspoken person so why does this man, along with your father make you so different.

Shaking your head you get a bit dizzy, not responding verbally. "You know what to do" he says as he lets go of your face. The familiar words that you've spoken more times than you'd like to admit start falling from your lips once again. "I'm sorry, please I'm so sorry. I know you didn't mean to break anything. Just trying to help me and it's my fault for making you so angry. Not being appreciative of what you were doing. I just need to keep my mouth shut"

He seems to like what you are saying because there is a sadistic smirk forming on his lips. There was no softness to those eyes of his. No love, not adoration. You don't think that he has cared for anything or anyone in his life. In fact you don't think he even cares about his own mother. If she didn't give him money he would have no use for her. Before you even can react he kisses you and you cant help but flinch back "great job babe. I knew you would come to your senses" when he pulls away he walks downstairs and you slowly follow behind him.

When the both of you walk downstairs he walks over to speak with your father, while you go to your mother who was in the kitchen. She turns her head and sees you for the first time since you've got back and runs up to hug you. Your face bury into her neck and for the first time in months your body relaxes just a bit more than it has. "hi mom" you say and she smiles as she pulls away to look at you "hi sweet girl. I missed you. You will have to tell me all about your trip when you get the chance"

Things between you and your mom were really good. You've always had a great relationship with her. However one thing you would never understand was why she was with your father. He was such an asshole to you and she stood by him. If he went to bed we all had to follow suit, no matter how early it was. It felt as if we couldn't live if he wasn't watching us closely to make sure we didn't step one toe out of line. That couldn't be how love was could it.

If that was how love was supposed to be like then why didn't you love Logan. He acted just like your father if not worse. Your father had only ever hit you once when you were a child and that was the first time your mother ever yelled at him. Lets just say he has not done it since. Maybe that's why your father practically shoved you right in front of Logan like a trophy and he made it his mission to get the two of you together. Unfortunately for you, he didn't stop until he got what he wanted so that's why you were stuck with him. There was no out for you, if you left not only would Logan hurt you but so would your father.

Yeah you refused to believe that's what love is supposed to be like. So now the question is, what is love supposed to be like.

Logan and your father had stopped talking and he pulls Logan into a quick hug. His hand hitting his back firmly like they were best pals. When they pulls away and Logan opens the door he looks over at you and your blood runs cold "I'll see you later babe" he left before you could say anything back.

Babe. That's the only thing he ever called you and you hated it. There were so many other things you could be called. Things like honey, dear, love, darling, good girl, shit at this point you would take baby. Babe was just so basic and boring, it held no meaning to it at all, especially not in the way he said it. Maybe it was just him..you don't know. It could be because you felt nothing for the man you were dating. But what could you do about it, nothing.

There also were never any loving kisses. Hell there were barely any unless it was when he wanted to use you for sex. Sex which you never got off too and had to take care of yourself when he left you there. No kisses before he left or just because he wanted too. This man acted as if you had the plague and you hated how much it ripped you into shreds.

When you hear his fancy car that was honestly quite ugly to you drive out of your long driveway. Your father turns to finally speak to you "get your things unpacked and put on an outfit other than that. Your mother is making dinner and we will be having a guest" of course the only time he talks to you is to subtly insult you and to boss you around. He never wanted to get to know you, never was that dad and you knew better than to expect him to be. You knew how he was from a young age which is why you loved your mother.

"okay father" those are the only words you say before heading back upstairs into your small bedroom. Honestly you couldn't even call it a bedroom it was more like a closet. It fit a twin sized bed that was too damn small for you and made you wake up with a stiff neck and sore back almost all the time. Along with your dresser and a few bookshelves. Of course you made it cozy because you decorated heavily. There were band posters hung all over your wall and tapestries on your ceiling. On your bookshelves there were tons of books and even your record player. Your records being in sleeves and on their own special racks. There were a few lights in your room since you liked warm tones in your room after the suns tarts to go down. Never use much light when the sun is up because you loved natural light and it saved on the electric bill.

You grab the suitcases that were in the corner and start to unpack them one by one. It takes about 30 minutes to finish unpacking everything and as soon as you were done you got ready. Going through your clothes you pick out jeans and a white blouse that was more nicer than what you currently had on. Which was shorts and a baggy t-shirt. You always needed to be presentable in front of your father so you made sure to brush your hair and pull it up nicely before heading back downstairs.

When you walk downstairs you see your mother working away in the kitchen while your father was sitting In his chair. It always pissed you off how he made your mother do everything while he just sat on his ass. He worked while your mother didn't she was always a stay at home mom but she had told you years ago she wishes she worked because she got bored staying in the same place for so long. You were walking into the kitchen to help her when there was a knock on the door. "Natalia answer the door" your father yells loudly so you'd be able to hear. Rolling your eyes you mutter "please would be appreciated" your mother heard you and you swear a small smile was on her lips.

A small smile forms on your lips after seeing your mom smile which was rare for her. You head to the door and open it, revealing a man who was considerably taller than you. Looking up at him you think he had to be 5'10 or something. The man looks down at you and waits patiently to be invited in. "Come on in. Make yourself comfortable" you say kindly

He walks in after saying a quick thank you and your eyes follow him, he was the epitome of what a man in Texas would look like. He's be on the cover of a magazine or something if the title was "a Texan man." The man was wearing a grey shirt with a flannel that was unbuttoned, then jeans that were tucked into the boots he was wearing. Noticing that he hadn't taken them off at the door and you couldn't imagine your father not telling him the rule at some point. Maybe he was trying to piss them off. You didn't know.

While he talks with your father you go to help your mother in the kitchen. "so who is he?" you ask her quietly and she smiles "He is the neighbor, your father and him have become acquainted. He is a good man" you nod and just as soon as you start finishing up the pasta your father calls for you "Natalia come introduce yourself. Don't be rude." His tone left no choice but to obey. So you dry off your hands after washing them and then walk to the man beside your father and hold out your hand. "I'm Natalia its a pleasure to meet you" he takes your hand firmly but not roughly and you could feel his rough hands against your soft ones "The names Joel" A warmth spreads through your body and you are quick to let go as his eyes linger on you.

Seeing that could have been rude to just pull away like that your father glances at you. "I'm sorry. I should be going to help in the kitchen. Food will be done any moment now." you give Joel a kind smile before turning away to walk away. Its like you were trained to be sweet and kind in front of your father. Ever since you were younger if you weren't a certain way he would discipline you if you stepped a toe out of line. Always telling you that a man never likes when a woman speaks out of turn or doesn't listen. It's probably one of the reasons you didn't like men very much.

His rough hands aren't the only thing you notice about Joel Miller. The more you hear him talk to your father at the table you notice he has such a deep southern drawl. He must have been born and raised here and you've always loved a man with an accent. Shaking your head you plate everyone's food and pass out everyone's plates in front of them. Your father thanks your mother while ignoring you completely while Joel makes sure to say it to you. "your welcome" you respond before sitting down to eat with everyone.

As everyone talked you stayed quiet and in the short time you've learned a few things about Joel Miller. He had a daughter who was 12 years old and that his whole world revolved around her. It was so refreshing to see a father who loved their kid. It was a pleasant time until it wasn't because your father must have brought up a sensitive topic.

"I'm surprised you came to dinner tonight. You are usually a very busy man" Joel's shoulders tense up. "yeah I've been taking care of my daughter. She just got over a cold" he responds as your father begins to eat his food. "Cant you have her mother watch her? I know how tiring it is to be with a daughter all the time"

Your fathers words make you look at your plate and you can feel Joel eye you for a moment before looking back him. "Mother isn't around" is all he says and your father seems to not notice how tense the man is because he thinks for a moment "well if you ever need anyone to watch over your daughter. Mine would be honored to help you out. It will get her out of the house" he looks at you "wouldn't you?" You nod and finish swallowing your food before responding. "yeah of course. I'm sure she is lovely. Whenever you need"

Joel looks at you for a moment before noticing how distant your eyes look. He was good at reading people, he had to be good at it for his business. Needing to know if people were bullshitting him. "sure, uhm. You free tomorrow night, I've got to work at 7 and wont be home till real late?"

your eyes widen at how soon it was but you fix your expression and smile. "yes of course. I don't have any plans so I'll be there." Honestly you would do anything if It meant you would be out of the house and away from your father. Your mother was safe with him, in fact he was so nice and kind to her it was so different than how he treated you. So you wouldn't have to worry about her. Joel looks at you again and nods "good."

Another thing you noticed was that Joel was a man of few words. He wasn't coming across as being an asshole so you didn't think that was his intention. It was just who he was. He wasn't super intimidating or threatening so he seemed harmless. The only thing was that he made you a little nervous every time he looked at you. It was as if he was reading you and you hated it. You've spent years trying to make yourself as complicated and difficult to read. You've done it for so long that you don't even know who the real you is anymore. Is it this innocent sweet girl you were with your father, or your outgoing and confident persona you put on when you are partying with friends. You honestly didn't know and you didn't need anyone to figure it out for you.

Eventually everyone is finished with their food and you tell your mom you will get the dishes. A kiss is placed on your cheek before she leaves you in the kitchen while Joel was saying goodbye to them. Once he leaves your father looks at you "clean everything up before you go to sleep. Then tomorrow you will work in the yard because its getting out of hand" you nod and he goes to bed with your mother

The rest of your night is spent scrubbing the floors, sweeping them, dusting. Not stopping until everything is spotless and you are about to drop to your knees from tiredness. As soon as you get ready and into your bed you lay down and pass out instantly.

A/N: I picture Logan to look a bit like Kurt Cobain. (photo just for reference)

#angst #female reader #oc character #oc reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #dads best friend #joel miller fanfiction

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 2 days ago

Text

Ranmaru's Main Story

Chapter 3 Part 1 & Part 2 Spoilers

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not a full translation.

[Ranmaru invited Mai on a date.]

Ranmaru: "Alright, we're here."

(Wait—this place is…!)

Beyond the door lay a shop that sold fabrics and accessories.

Ranmaru: "You always pay attention to your appearance, so I thought you might like a place like this."

Ranmaru: "Well? What do you think?"

Mai: "You nailed it! Thank you for bringing me here."

(He really pays attention to people. And wow, there's so much to see.)

A quick glance around the shop revealed bolts of fabric that shimmered in the light.

Mai: "I've never seen this pattern before. And this one's plain, but it feels so smooth—you can tell it's high-quality."

As I got completely absorbed in looking at the fabrics, Ranmaru tilted his head curiously.

Ranmaru: "You're more interested in the fabric itself? Not the kimonos or hair accessories?"

Mai: "Yeah. Before I came here, I was going to be a designer."

Mai: "Um, it's a job where I choose colors and styles for kimonos and actually sew them myself."

(But ever since I time-slipped here, I've had no idea what happened to that job offer.)

Ranmaru: "I see. So it's like a tailor from the future."

Ranmaru: "You know, you seem more alive than usual right now."

Mai: "Huh? You think so?"

Ranmaru: "Yeah, definitely. Do you really like that job?"

Mai: "I do. I love it."

(Even if I go back to the future and the offer's gone, I still don't want to give up making clothes—that's how much I love it.)

I nodded gently, and he gave me a smile.

Ranmaru: "Hey, Lady Mai. You can tell me anything, okay?"

His hushed voice brushed softly against my ear.

Ranmaru: "We're close enough to share secrets, right?"

(Ranmaru…)

(He's probably being extra thoughtful because of what happened last night.)

That kindness filled my chest with warmth.

Ranmaru: "Finally, now you're starting to look the part."

Mai: "Huh? Look the part of what?"

Ranmaru: "Look the part of someone on a secret date. I told you that when I invited you, remember?"

(Oh, right!)

Even after we finished browsing fabrics and left the store, our "secret date" continued.

Ranmaru: "I got permission to pass through here, but let's keep it quiet."

Ranmaru: "Oh, and just in case something happens, can I hold your hand?"

Mai: "But didn't you just grab my hand without asking earlier?"

Ranmaru: "That was a spur-of-the-moment thing. Please?"

(Isn't that way too sneaky?!)

Even at the restaurant—which he apparently rented out just for today—

Ranmaru: "The grilled kamaboko here is really good. Here, say 'ahh.'"

Mai: "Huh?"

Ranmaru: "I wanted you to try it while it's still warm. Is that not okay?"

Mai: "It's… not not okay."

Ranmaru: "Hehe, what's that supposed to mean? Are you nervous?"

(It's your fault I'm nervous!)

It felt like he was deliberately making me confront the meaning of "secret date"—something I'd been trying not to think too hard about.

(He's capable, thoughtful, and knows exactly how to sweet-talk someone.)

(No matter how hard I try, I don't think I can win against someone like Ranmaru.)

As we went from place to place, I kept getting caught off guard by his little devilish charms. Still, we spent a wonderful day together, right up until the sun began to set.

Mai: "Ranmaru, thank you for today."

Ranmaru: "I should be the one saying that. Did you have fun?"

Mai: "Yeah, I really did."

Ranmaru: "Hehe, that's good."

Suddenly, Ranmaru stopped.

When I turned to look, wondering what was wrong, I saw him looking at me softly.

Ranmaru: "I'll make sure you get back home."

Ranmaru: "So let's get through these three months together, okay?"

Mai: "Ranmaru…"

Mai: "It's really comforting to hear you say that."

Ranmaru: "Right? It's a lot better than being alone."

Ranmaru: "When you were looking at the fabrics in the kimono shop, you looked so genuinely happy."

Ranmaru: "That's why I'll do whatever I can to help you chase your dream of becoming a designer."

He looked straight into my eyes.

(He's talented and well-liked by everyone—yet someone like him is on my side.)

Relief and happiness washed over me.

Mai: "Thank you. With you by my side, I feel like I can take on anything."

I somehow managed to get the words out, and he responded with a bright smile.

[The next day: Late at night - Mai couldn't sleep and slipped out of her room.]

Mai's POV

I thought I heard footsteps echoing faintly from down the corridor.

(Was it just the floorboards creaking?)

(But it felt far too distinct for that.)

I crept to the corner and peeked in the direction of the sound. There, moving silently down the corridor, was Ranmaru, holding something small in his arms.

(What is he carrying this late at night?)

(And isn't that the way out of the castle?)

Puzzled, I watched him suddenly pause and glance around.

Ranmaru: "…………"

(Ah—)

I froze in place, hardly even breathing.

Then, the soft sound of footsteps started again and gradually faded into the distance.

(I ended up hiding.)

It wasn't the first time I'd seen that shadowed look on his face.

(But tonight, it was the darkest I'd ever seen it.)

(I always thought I shouldn't intrude, but…)

He had reached out to me—even when I was the one keeping secrets.

He had come closer without hesitation, gently lifting the weight off my heart.

(So this time, I'll take the first step.)

(If he turns me away, I'll just make sure not to do it again.)

Ranmaru: ".………."

I followed him quietly as he left the castle and entered the forest.

(I have to hurry.)

I tried to keep up, but the uneven path slowed me down.

The starlight that had seemed so bright near the castle faded as the trees grew denser.

(What do I do?)

And just like that, I lost sight of him.

(If I wander around blindly, I'll just get even more lost. But still…)

As I stood there helpless, someone gently took my hand.

(Huh?)

I turned around, and there he was.

Ranmaru: "What's a lady doing wandering around alone this late at night?"

(Ranmaru…)

The one I had been searching for was now looking slightly troubled.

Mai: "Sorry. I saw you in the castle and just followed you without thinking."

That alone seemed to tell him everything he needed to know.

Ranmaru: "Being alone in the forest in the middle of the night is dangerous."

His previously tense expression softened.

Ranmaru: "Someone should be by your side on a night like this."

(Ah…)

Still holding my hand, he began to walk.

Ranmaru: "This way."

He led me deeper into the forest.

As we continued, the trees thinned, revealing a clearer view of the stars overhead.

(A field of flowers.)

Under the moonlight, vibrant blossoms bloomed in full glory.

The breathtaking sight put my heart at ease.

Ranmaru: "This spot should be good."

He stopped at the edge of the flower field.

Ranmaru: "I came here tonight to bury this."

Turning to me, he finally showed me what he'd been carrying.

(A small… urn?)

When he tilted it slightly, it made a dry, rattling sound.

Ranmaru: "These are the remains of someone who passed away."

(Wait.)

Mai: "Whose… remains?"

Ranmaru: "Someone who was suspected of being connected to the attack on Lord Nobunaga. They were captured."

Mai: "Ah…"

What flashed through my mind was the day I first set foot in Azuchi Castle.

(That person…)

(I'd heard they refused to say anything and chose death instead.)

I couldn't take my eyes off the urn, and Ranmaru gave a faint, sorrowful smile.

Ranmaru: "I wanted to return the remains to their family, but they said this person had no known relatives."

Ranmaru: "They died alone, so I just wanted to give them a proper farewell at the very least."

Mai: "Let me help."

(It's the least I can do.)

Ranmaru: "Thank you."

A moment later, a soft voice spoke beside me.

Ranmaru: "You're so kind, Lady Mai—even to someone you didn't know."

Mai: "You're the same."

Ranmaru: "Me? No, I just…"

Once again, silence fell between us.

This time, I was the one who broke it.

Mai: "Actually, I saw this person once, back when they were still alive."

Mai: "I kind of know what happened to him."

Mai: "I get that, in this era, things like that were considered necessary, and I'm not trying to judge the people in the castle, but..."

(I get it. In my head, I do. But…)

Mai: "But I still feel guilty for looking the other way."

Ranmaru: "Looking the other way?"

Mai: "Yeah. I thought there was nothing I could do—even if I did speak up."

Mai: "So when I saw him being dragged away—limp and silent—I didn't even try to help."

Ranmaru: "I see."

He nodded slightly, his eyes dropping to the ground.

Ranmaru: "But I don't think he would ever blame you for that."

(Huh?)

He probably said that to ease my guilt.

(But why does it sound like he actually knows that?)

I couldn't bring myself to nod and accept it.

Then—

Ranmaru: "It's okay."

His gaze lifted to meet mine, warm and steady.

Ranmaru: "The real you is someone who follows her sense of justice, even when she's not sure it'll change anything."

Mai: "Um, I don't know if that's true."

Ranmaru: "Hmm, no self-awareness, huh? Yeah, I figured it'd be hard for you to agree."

Ranmaru: "But that's exactly why I admire you."

(Me?)

Mai: "Isn't it the other way around? I mean, I should be the one saying I admire you."

Ranmaru: "No. I mean it. Ever since that day."

Mai: "That day…?"

(What day is he talking about?)

He continued speaking, his voice calm and steady.

Ranmaru: "You know, a page doesn't serve alone."

Ranmaru: "Among the others who served close to Lord Nobunaga like I did, there were a few I was particularly close to."

(Were? Past tense?)

Ranmaru: "They're right over there."

He lifted his arm slowly and pointed.

At first, I didn't see anything. But then I noticed it—a single branch, quietly marked by a tiny flower.

Ranmaru: "The actual grave is somewhere else. I just buried a lock of their hair here."

(A lock of hair.)

A sharp pain jolted through my chest.

Even so, I couldn't stop myself from asking.

Mai: "So… they're already…?"

Ranmaru: "Yeah. They're no longer in this world."

Ranmaru: "When Lord Nobunaga was attacked at Honnō-ji, they fought back against the assailants—but never returned."

Ranmaru's face twisted in pain, contorted with regret.

Ranmaru: "I couldn't do anything. I couldn't stop it."

Ranmaru: "If I had been more like you—able to act without hesitation—maybe none of it would have happened."

Mai: "..………"

(That day… he meant the Honnō-ji Incident.)

Even as a flood of thoughts surged through my mind, I couldn't form a single coherent one. All I could do was breathe, overwhelmed.

Then, Ranmaru gave a smile—so gentle it was heartbreaking.

Ranmaru: "It was my fault. All of it."

This isn't a full translation, as translating a whole chapter would take me hours.

#ikesen translations #ikemen sengoku #ikesen jp #ikesen ranmaru #ranmaru mori #ikesen #cybird

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mahou-furbies · 20 hours ago

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The results for the Favourite Precure poll 2025 are in!

Top 7 Cures:

Cure La Mer (132 points)

Cure Sky (113 points)

Cure Milky (109 points)

Cure Flora (104 points)

Cure Blossom (98 points)

Cure Prism (94 points)

Cure Moonlight (91 points)

Top 7 side Cures:

Cure Mofurun (59 points)

Cure Infini (53 points)

Cure Echo (39 points)

Regina / Cure Joker (38 points)

"Cure Daifuku" (36 points)

"Cure Satoru" (34 points)

Dark Precure (Heartcatch) (33 points)

Victory for Laura once again! She also won last year's poll and even outside that the top spots mainly have familiar faces, though there has been some movement too. The highest placing Idol Precure was Kyun-Kyun, ranking 26th with 45 points.

Last year Cure Fortune was the only main Cure not to get any votes, but this time she got three, with the highest being 4th favourite. Good for her! Meanwhile Cures Ace, Earth, Yum-Yum and Finale did not get any votes, better luck next time.

As for the side Cures, I was not surprised at Mofurun, Infini and Regina doing well, but I had no idea Echo this popular.

Thanks to everyone who voted, and especially for any comments, those are always fun to read.

Comments and Top 25/20 under cut:

Thank you for organizing the poll o/

Let's go Parfait! 💚

There are so many Precure now. .. I had to have another tab open to remember them all!

None of my favourites made it last year, so I am hoping this is it!

COME ON CURE KAGURA (has only just seen Dancing Star subbed)

LET'S GO PIKARIO CMON BABY WOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S MY GIRL!!!!!

I love Cure Sunshine so much okay. I just love her a lot. I want her to win

Go Regina!

Choosing to rank my top 3 is so hard… They're pretty much equal in my eyes.

Sky <3

I shudder to think what the 25th anniversary movie will look like

okay but fr dark dream and cure blossom mirage in particular are the goats of non-all star cures

this was hard. i love so many of these characters so much! as me again tomorrow and my answer will probably look pretty different. the only one i'm confident is putting mofurun as my number 1 minor cure. my main cure rankings thouh are all over the place. plus there are many seasons i need to actually watch to get a real opinion on (there are more then 20 seasons. i've seen a good chunk but a good chunk are still on the list)

Hope that we will get an actual Green Cure someday

Geez I need to get back to my rewatch

Kinda unfair to not include Black Pepper while Pikario and the bunny boys are there 💔💔

i hope we'll get a gemstone themed season next year 🙏

Kimi To Idol Precure Is My Favorite Precure Series! I hope it becomes a sub franchise in the big franchise!

Cure names last two seasons aren't following the previously estabilished rules… also please Toei stop naming the lead after the season, it is my pet peeve.

Where's Bunbi! I wanna vote for Bunbi! He's so bby girl🎀✨️

Thank you for this poll. I'm interested in the results!!!! :-)

Rating the minor Cures is so difficult, because I like a lot more of them than three! Also, some of them count as duos for me… Michiru/Kaoru and Satoru/Daifuku to be specific. I'm glad these characters are included in the poll though because they're so important!!!

Shout out to all my other favorite Cures! (roughly half of them lol) They're all first place in my heart <3

I haven’t even heard of half of these minor cures

ive mainly watched tropre, sky and wonpre

Hope my 7th favorite cure vote helps Cure Fortune to get at least a vote :,v

[Regarding Black Pepper, I considered him but in the end did not include him, because I thought he belonged to a clear non-Precure character "class" as a Cook Fighter, unlike Pikario and the bunny duo whose have similar powers and aesthetic to the Cures. So I felt that if I included him it would open up the debate for all other ally characters.]

Side Cures

#favourite precure poll 2025 #blog stuff #precure

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thoughts-rambles · 8 months ago

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It was a sad sight. Asmodeus had started his new diet, and on the same day you had came back with treats from the human world. As his brothers went around trying the candies and snacks you had brought- while also preventing Beel from eating them all- Asmo was left to watch them in envy. You felt bad watching him sit, unable to partake in your gifts; there really was no reason for him to diet, but there was also no way of reasoning with him. So you simply averted your eyes, focusing on the brothers who could enjoy what you brought.

And then you got an idea.

After the original excitement had worn down, and all the brothers had dissolved back to their rooms, you sat at the table with the remaining bag of candies. You quickly got up with a handful of flavors and plan in mind, making your way to the 5th brother's room. It only took a couple knocks before Asmo would excitedly open the door. He'd greet you, as usual, with a quick kiss and inquiry on your arrival. You told him you had a surprise, walking past him and sitting on the bed, patting the spot next to yourself. As he walked over and sat down, you popped a candy in your mouth, chewing it as he looked at you in confusion. Before he could speak to ask, however, you pulled him in to a kiss. His eyes widened as you cupped his cheek, quickly closing so he could reciprocate your affections. The kiss was a way to share with him the flavors of your favorite treats, even when he wouldn't indulge in them himself. You pulled back for no more than a second before going to kiss him again. This time far longer and slower. He melted into it, and he swears he's never tasted anything better. As you pulled away again- for good this time- you could see the blush creeping up his neck before settling into his cheeks.

Little did you know what you had started. Asmo would now make you give him a kiss for every flavor you had- as well as some in between. Oh well... not like there was anything you'd rather be doing tonight.

#idea i've had for a while and just remembered #man i really love writing asmo #im actually eating a candy as i write this lol #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmo x mc #fics

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kalosian-woods · 3 days ago

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Clemont is just really funny in general i think. he's just like that, realistically theres so much to unpack about him;

he made an entire invention where he spoke to the mayor and was spread out across the town of the uni he was in which he got in at the age of maybe like 8.

he's a gym leader. he lost his gym to his invention,

there was the slightest chance he could've been mind controlled.

his bag is a bag of holding

he can't run

his entire mental state is the way it is because of a single mistake that wasn't even his fault

There's so much to unpack about him and the creators were like; "yeah anyways!"

okay but seriously, i think we as a fandom neglect the fact that if it wasn't for Clemont's anxious(???) paranoid(???) quick thinking(???) overly prepared(???) he probably he would've gotten mind controlled. like what was up with that.

-⚡(you can call me clem anon! its also just really funny and the fact that i've so far only exclusively talked about him makes it even funnier. electric anon is okay too !)

Clemont is his own bag of holding lol, there really is SO MUCH with him and I'm shaking you on the shoulders rn clem nonnie. Please. How is it possible that there is so much to him as it is. I need to study him under a microscope.

With the first point, that always made me laugh in a way lol. Him at the age of possibly eight created a power source slash Electric Pokemon recharger for a whole town/city. The mayor has noticed his efforts. This is before he is a Gym Leader, and this is the place where he made the promise to Shinx (a promise that he broke, not by any fault of his own, but by the very thing that brought them together in the first place).

The way he actually just straight up lived in Prism Tower, or at least that's how it felt, along with Bonnie. Their father is in the same city with a house but they won't bother with that and he doesn't bother them until they are MIA for at the very least a few weeks if not months. His reasoning for being a Gym Leader is to wield Electric Types from every region and become an Electric-Type Trainer that the world has never seen. The fact that he can be this ambitious with battling gets me (and also his learning from school carrying over c':)

His bag is also a mechanical marvel (not Volcanion, sorry). His Aipom Arm has only malfunctioned once (1 time), and he's easily able to lift Bonnie into the air with it. Also we never see this beyond the first ep but it has an inflatable airbag??? That is actually safe and comfortable to land on even with the everything in his bag as it is.

Even after the whole series and after everything they've ever went through, he still cannot run. Only one time he has ever sprinted ahead (in this realm/dimension) and that was to get to a festival about Zapdos of all Pokemon (and maybe that inventing fair as well??). No one comments on it beyond that one moment. He's also tried to make shoes to help him go up hills quicker but he never tried that one again lol (he forgot he even had it until Serena mentions the monorail, in which also, wow. this gang i swear).

That's actually one of the saddest parts (and something I can totally relate with). The way that we see him so happy and open with Shinx beforehand, ready to learn and be hands on and playing outside even with all the work that he had. And then we hear about how he lost his Gym, how his Pokemon disregard his words and his invention doesn't see him as worthy or strong enough, and it really is him just living out a nightmare of his own making in a way. His fear from back then keeps haunting him with the mistakes that he makes now, and even after meeting with Luxio again you can see the way he just... accepts that he's no longer wanted or forgiven. He's fine with it. He rather everyone have a better life than he does. Just,, he needs a hug. Lots of them.

HELP PLS you've said exactly what I've been thinking off this whole time!! Geez, I thought I was alone in thinking that we brush off whatever happened to Clemont in 'The Needs of Many!' like I get that we lose Greninja, but hello? He got straight-up kidnapped right in front of our eyes! He was going to be made into a superhuman (which has some very very worrying connotations beyond what is already happening). He too was blasted by the Mega Evo Energy, and even if he did resist the mind control, there's got to be other effects as well. If his friends weren't OP and reckless as they were he would've actually been carted away to who knows where and it would've been a matter of time until his preventive measures were found out. And the way he already had a counter against it, against the beam specifically (and for it to be able to work without any issues) is also so sad and worrying in a way?? It's definitely paranoia to me, it was very specific (more than usual, anyways), small enough to hide and easy enough for him to grab. Poor boy :(( I need to just sit down and think every time I remember this is an ep that exists because they just went ham with it, didn't they??

#wooo clem (/electric) anon it is!! such a powerful title btw you've just claimed ownership of a whole character lol :P #also 'so far'?? this means that you may go on to branch out beyond clem and that scares as well as intrigues me /lh :3c #apparently bonnie knew that he evolved heliolisk with a sun stone but hasn't seen evo until the spewpa ep gets me #clem also has that ds map thing that looks very similar to what cilan had i think #i mean he's also quick-thinking and overly prepared but he did not miss a beat with the whole thing #i'm constantly thinking of this ep btw. easily one of the strangest and scariest imo #find it also weird bc of course it's adapting the games with xerosic trying to make a superhuman post-xy #but (a) he hates clem and it was targetted (b) obvs the beam and (c) no looker (or emma) :(#but ig the hardest part for me is just that the anime makes xerosic completely irredemable. he's down bad for lys's ambitions #while in the games he's just there to be there. instead it's malva who's all for lysandre and his dreams (yeah they swapped)#i have no idea if i should keep them anime-wise (which means so much tweaking! and also very hard to get emma in then)#or lean more game-wise. because they are very much opposites #but also old men having beef with clem is very funny lol #like i still remember dark clembot guy. what was his deal?? i mean i doubt many ppl even know anything about it #anyways back to clem. i find that his reason to be a gym leader to be a lot more self-serving than i would've expected #yeah he wants to be good as a trainer but what about other trainers? being a gym leader means testing them #not just testing yourself. if he really wanted that he could've just struck out on his own #but it is easier to stay in one place and let challengers come to you #still. makes sense why he burnt out so easily on that end. and made a robot to fixate on challengers in such a way too #to make up for his own disinterest in them #LOOK i can get to the whole clembot thing later. i'm like 3 fics away then you can see me all ramble to death about it #because i've got a million thoughts on it #sadly the whole luxio ep is going to be a million light years away :/#we don't get much fo a timeline for clem so we don't know much about him #but presumably he got all of his gym mons after leaving shinx #and also at some point in his life he helped make the power plant???#i can never get out of my head how he just dives in front of ash to take luxio's thunder fang point-blank #(i mean he's learning off ash but i don't think that's the right thing to learn heh)#and the way he tells her 'i'll be your grounding' like AUGH? my heart? is there even a point? (the way he'll take anything from her)#anyways got too many thoughts about him. have barely scatched the surface as it is lol

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